THE EXPERIENCE AND TRAVELS OF Mr. FREEBORN GARRETTSON, MINISTER OF THE METHODIST-EPISCOPAL CHURCH IN NORTH-AMERICA.
HITHERTO HATH THE LORD HELPED.
PHILADELPHIA: PRINTED BY JOSEPH CRUKSHANK, NO. 91, HIGH STREET, AND SOLD BY JOHN DICKINS, NO. 182, IN [...] SIXTH STREET. MDCC.XCI.
PREFACE.
SOME time ago I was solicited by Mr. Wesley, to send him an account of my experience and travels. I was at a loss to know what was best to be done in this case; but after some consideration, I informed him that I would comply with his request. After I began to write, I found some scruples in my mind which I communicated to him. But some time after, I received a second, and then a third letter, in which he intreated me to lay aside my scruples and comply with his request.
Having at length prepared the piece, I sent it from New-York in a [...] which I understood was cast away, [...] that he did not receive it; of which I had no certain account, till he informed me in another letter; and that if it di [...] come to hand soon, it would not be in time for him to see it: which was, in [...] [Page iv]the case; for whilst I was sitting in my room in Albany, finishing a letter to be enclosed with it, a friend came in, and presented me with a news-paper, in which I read the account of the death of that eminent servant of God.
I have since consented to have it printed in America, with very little alteration, except an enlargement. In trust in this my eye hath been single, and my intention pure. In keeping my regular journal, it was not uncommon for me to write the exercises of the day before I closed my eyes in sleep. But should there be any misrepresentations, or any circumstances exaggerated (which I think is not the case) I hope my reader will have charity enough to impute it either to mistake, or wrong information. I can appeal to the Searcher of hearts when I say, in the relation of any subject I had rather be under than over the truth.
I doubt not, but same real facts which I have related, will appear strange to [Page v]some people. Great and glorious discoveries hath the Lord made to me, in various parts of his vineyard, at various times; insomuch, that I think it my duty not to keep silence; but publish to the children of men the great goodness of a benevolent God. Within sixteen years, I have travelled more than sixty thousand miles, in the glorious work of planting or spreading the Gospel; and when I look back, the time seems very short, and I often mourn under a sense of my unprofitableness, and feel willing to spend the remainder of my days in the service of so good a God.
I have an ardent desire to be useful, and it greatly rejoices my heart when I see or hear of precious sinners embracing the overtures of mercy. I earnestly advise all those into whose hands this short diary may fall, to read it with earnest prayer; then peradventure it will have its desired effect on their hearts. In this [Page vi]account I did by no means intend to gratify the curiosity, or to tickle the ears of those who live in pleasure. I never aimed at this from the pulpit; the truth of which those who know me can testify; and in my writing I aim at the same thing— to be instrumental in bringing precious souls to the Lord Jesus Christ.
What shall I say to God's dear children—the advice of St. John is, "little children, love one another." And "perfect love casteth out fear."
I must entreat all those who are strangers to pure religion, to endeavour to take the following steps before they close their eyes in sleep, viz. 1. Set down and count the cost—consider the state which your soul is in—meditate on the shortness of time, the certainty of death and judgment, and the absolute necessity of a preparation for futurity. 2. Turn your back on every thing which you know to be sinful. Sin caused the Son of God to groan and die. Why, O why then [Page vii]should we live and delight in sin? O! behold sin driving, as it were, the spear into the side of the Redeemer, and sly from it as from deadly poison. 3. Betake yourself to prayer; how your kn [...]e before the eternal Judge, and call on the strong for strength. 4. Form a resolution in the name of the Lord, that the remainder of your days shall be spent in a life of piety. 5. Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved. You shall feel your sins forgiven. The guilt, power, and love of sin shall be removed, and your soul shall be happy in God. Till this is your blessed experience, your soul will be unhappy, and if you die without it, your soul will for ever sink into hell.
O! dear sinners, my heart is enlarged towards you; repent and turn to the Lord, and he will in mercy meet you. "Now is the accepted time, &c." The last trump will soon be blown, and all mankind must appear at his tremendous [Page viii]bar. There is a sufficiency in Jesus, and he is now standing ready to save you. That you may live as you would wish to die, and reign with Christ in endless day,
SECTION I. From my Childhood till my Conversion.
I Was born in the year of our Lord 1752. My parents were of the church of England; and brought up their children in that way. My father was a very moral man, and thought by his neighbours to be a very good Christians and my mother was a woman that feared the Lord. I was (as my parents informed me) from my infancy prene to pride, self-will, and stubbornnes [...]: which I afterwards sensibly felt, to the sorrow of my heart. My father's grandfather was an emigrant from Great-Britain; and numbered among the first settlers in the p [...] vince of Maryland.
I was very early taught the Lord's prayer, creed, and ten commandments, together with the catechism of the church of England; and was in early life restrained by my render parents from open sin. It pleased the Lord to remove my dear mother into an awful eternity when I was young. But I shall never forget the admonitions [Page 10]which she gave me. One Lord's-day when I was about seven years of age, my mother was retired (I was fitting by her side) and whilst she was reading the two last chapters of the Revelations, when she came to the place where it speaks of the tree and water of life, she made a full stop, and with eyes uplifted to heaven, and tears flowing down, "O!" said she, "that I may be happy enough to eat of that fruit, and drink of that water, in my heavenly Father's kingdom!" I believe the blessed Spirit was with her, and I felt the divine operations: but I knew [...]im not; for we lived in a dark time. One day when I was about nine years of age, as I was walking alone in the field, it was as strongly upprest on my mind, as if I had [...]eard a voice, "Ask and it shall be given you." I was immediately desirous to know what it meant, and it occurred to my mind, that this was a scriptural promise. But I, having no ideas of spiritual things, immediately ran to the house and told my elder brother, it was revealed to me, that I should be very rich: shortly after this, I was by myself and there was a question asked me, "Do you know what a saint is?" I paused a while in my mind, and uns [...]vered, [Page 11]there are no saints in this our day on earth. The same voice replied, "a saint is one that is wholly given up to God." And immediately in idea, I saw such a person who appeared the most beautiful of all I ever beheld. I was affected, and prayed to the Lord to make me a saint, and it was strongly imprest upon my mind that I should be one; and a spirit of joy sprung up within me; but I had no one to open to me the way of salvation.
Some time after this, a great affliction befel my father's family: first a sister, then my mother, and then two servants were remo [...] ed into an awful eternity. The ninth day of my sister's illness, she asked for nourishment, and eat heartily for one in her low state. After she had done she desired to be raised in the bed; I am, said she, about to leave the world. The family were called together, and were in a flood of tears: "Weep not for me," said she, "for I am not afraid to die. I am going to my Jesus, who will do more for me than any of you can do." I believe her soul was happy. And the affecting exhortation which she gave will neve [...] be forgotten by me. When [...] [...]ne desired to [...] down, bidding [...] [Page 12]well. And within a few minutes, with a smiling countenance, bid the world adieu. From her infancy her conscientiousness and uprightness were noticed by all who knew her. It was not common to find her on the Lord's-day without a Bible; her old uncle, who was a communicant in the church, used to say, "Sally lives as she would wish to die." From this time a melancholy gloom hung over me, and I frequently went alone to weep. I knew I wanted something, but what it was I knew not; for I had none to take me by the hand, and lead me into the narrow path. I know the blessed and fixing my so that I have been melted into tenderness; but I knew not the way of salvation. About this time it was I bought myself a pocket Testament, and frequently withdrew and read; and was much affected with the sufferings of our dear Lord. Our unhappy minister was a stranger to God and the most of his flock, I fear, were in the way to ruin.
When I was about twelve years of age, I was removed to another school, where after a time I threw off all seriousness; and became as wild as the rest of my young playmates. The most of my school-hours, after [Page 13]I turned fourteen, were taken up in branches of the mathematics and book-keeping, and the intervals of my time, in the study of astronomy. I have often continued alone in the study of this till after midnight, without a serious thought of God or my eternal welfare. Between the seventeenth and eighteenth years of my age I left school, and began to think of living in the world. But alas! I was careless and carnal; though what the world calls a moral youth. I was sond of pleasure, and loved this world more than God. Oh! what reason have I to praise God for his goodness, in pursuing me with the overtures of mercy. About this time it was, that there began to be much said of the people called Methodists in Baltimore county where I lived. Many went out to hear them, and I among the rest, but the place was so crowded I could not get into the house: but from what I could understand, I thought they preached the truth, and did by no means dare to join with the multitude in persecuting them: but thought I would let them alone, and keep close to my own church. Oh! those soul damning sins, pride and unbelief, which kept me from God and his people!
[Page 14] Blessed be God, it was not long after, that his holy Spirit began again to work powerfully with me. One day as I was riding home, I met a young man who had been hearing the Methodists, and had got his heart touched under the world. He stopt me in the road, and began to talk so sweetly about Jesus and his people, and recommended him to me in such a winning manner, that I was deeply convinced there was a reality in that religion, and that it was time for me to think seriously on the matter.
Not many days had passed, before a little book fell into my hands, called Russ [...]l's seven sermons. By this book I was advised to make as exact an estimate of all my sins as possible; I did so, and found they were numerous, for I began to see myself in the gospel glass; and many were the tears I shed over this book. And I promised an amendment of life; but my repentance was too much like the early dew or morning rain. Still the way of salvation was not open to me, and there was an unwillingness in me to submit. But as my dear Lord was not willing that I should perish, his good Spirit still strove with me. One day as I was passing [Page 15]over a rapid stream, a log on which I had frequently gone, gave way, and I was near being swept down the stream; after struggling a while, I got out, though much wounded among the sharp rocks. This query struck my mind with great weight, "What would have become of your soul, had you been drowned?" I wept bitterly, and prayed to the Lord under a sense of my guilt. Still my stubborn heart was not willing to submit, though I began to carry a little hell in my bosom.
In May 1772, as I was riding out one afternoon, I went down a descent over a large broad rock; my horse stumbled and threw me; and with the fall on the rock, and the horse blundering over me, I was beaten out of my senses. I was alone, and how long I lay I know not; but when I recovered, in some measure, I found myself on my knees, with my hands and eyes raised to heaven, crying to God for mercy. It came strongly into my mind that had I then been taken, I should have dropt into hell. I felt my misery, and praised God, as well as I knew how, for my deliverance; and before I moved from the place, I promised to serve him all the days [Page 16]of my life. But before I arose from my knees, all my pain of body was removed, and I felt nearly as well as ever I did in my life. I also felt the drawing of God's Spirit, and in a measure saw a beauty in Jesus: but I did not know that my sins were forgiven; neither was the plan of salvation clearly open to me; but I went on my way determined, by grace, to be a follower of Christ. All the Antinomians in the world, could not make me believe, that a man cannot feel sweet drawings before he experiences justification.
I now procured a collection of the best religious books that I could; amongst which were, the writings of Mr. Hervey, the travels of true godliness, and Alleine's alarm to the unconverted: for as yet I had not seen any of Mr. Wesley's publications nor conversed on religious subjects with any of the Methodists.
As I lived a retired life, I frequently read, prayed, and wept till after midnight: and often withdrew to the woods and other private places for prayer. In some measure my name was already cast out as evil, though I was ashamed to let any one know the exercises of my mind, or that I used [Page 17]secret prayer: and in order to conceal it when in company, I have frequently grieved the blessed Spirit, by joining in trifling conversation. For I was much afraid of being thought a hypocrite. But the Holy Spirit still pursued me, and I attended strictly to the duties of the family, over which I was placed. I had as yet heard very few Methodist sermons; and the devil strove very hard to keep me from going among those people. Some time after, my late well-tried friend and brother Mr. F. A. came to our county: I went to hear him one evening at R. W.'s. The place was crowded; however I got to the door and sat down, but he had not preached long, before I sensibly felt the word: and his doctrine seemed as salve to a festering wound. I heard him with delight, and bathed in tears could have remained there till the rising of the sun, the time passed so sweetly away: I was delightfully drawn, and greatly astonished to find a person go on so [...] ently, without his sermon before him. I suppose hundreds of thoughts passed through my mind. But I returned home with gladness, fully persuaded that he was a servant of God, and that he preached in a way [Page 18]I had not heard before. I followed him to another preaching place; and sixing my attentive eye upon him, I found him to be a workman that need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word. He began to wind about me in such a manner that I found my sins in clusters, as it were, around me: and the law in its purity, probing to the very bottom, and discovering the defects of my heart. I was ready to cry out, "How does this stranger know me so well!" After sermon was ended, I wished not to speak to any one, but returned home in a very solemn manner.
My father began to be troubled about me, and came to see me. We sat up talking till near midnight. "I have no objection," said he, "to your being religious; but why would you turn from the church?" I replied, I have no intention to leave the church, but whenever persons become serious, they are called Methodists, and their names are cast out as evil. After we parted I found great tenderness of heart, and shed many tears in private, and many promises occurred to my mind; I loved the Methodists, and yet the enemy of my soul kept me at a distance from them. Unbelief [Page 19]and pride kept me from the comforts of assurance.
In April 1773, my brother John was taken dangerously ill, so that his life was despaired of. One Lord's-day, many of our relations and others came to see him, expecting every minute he would breathe his last. I was greatly concerned on account of his soul, which to appearance was just launching into eternity, and my fear was that he was unprepared. I went round to the back part of the bed, and kneeling down, I prayed earnestly to the Lord to have mercy on his soul. After I had done praying, I perceived his lips were moving, but could not hear a word that he spoke, till I put my ear close to his mouth (to appearance he was just going) and heard him say, "Lord, thou knowest I am unprepared to die, have mercy on me, and raise me up, and give me a longer space, and I will serve thee; thy Spirit has often strove with me, but I have rejected thee," &c. Thus did he plead with the Lord for a considerable time. He knew, and so did I, the moment of time when the Lord answered prayer, and granted him a longer space. Immediately [Page 20]I rose from my knees, and told the waiting company they need not be uneasy, for the Lord would raise him again; instantly the disorder turned, he fell into a dose, and within a few days was able to walk about his room. After his recovery, I conversed with him on the subject, and he told me that he saw death, that he was summoned to appear in the world of spirits, and that hell was his doom. "I know," said he, "when a reprieve in answer to prayer was sent, the blow averted, and the tender thread lengthened, on condition that I would give the remainder of my days to the Lord." A few years after he was really changed in heart, and lived two years and eight months happy in the service of God, died a witness of perfect love.
About this time my dear Lord laid me under his hand, and I was brought nigh unto death. During the time of my illness I was in a very strange way; I lay on my bed singing praises to God without any dread of death; I selt my mind easy; I thought if I was removed I should go to Heaven; I was willing to die; I did not know my sins were forgiven; but I felt a strong hope, yet I was not fully acquainted [Page 21]with the plan of salvation. Who can tell what state my soul was in? I was a good Churchman, but a poor Methodist. Blessed be the name of the Lord! He delights not in the death of a sinner, for he raised me up again; but still the enemy of my soul strove to keep me from amongst God's dear, despised children.
The August following, it pleased the Lord to take my father into eternity.— Surely it was painful to lose the tenderest of parents. From my earliest knowledge of his family, consisting of about twenty in number, I do not remember ever to have heard an oath sworn either by black or white; and it was a rare thing for him to correct either children or servants, though still there was a trembling at his word. I frequently visited him in the time of his illness (for he had a long and tedious sickness) and he seemed very fond of my company; and I have reason to believe he went happy out of this dangerous world. Being now left in the entire charge of a family, and the settlement of my father's business mostly devolving on me, I was surrounded with many cares and troubles, which were no help to the affairs of [Page 22]my salvation. The devil strove hard to drive away all my good desires, but still I attended constantly to my secret devotions, though at times cold enough. It was not long after the death of my father, that I had a particular interview with the new parish minister, who was a very clever man, of a moral character, and much respected in the place: I was a constant attendant on his ministry, and frequently conversed with him on divine subjects. He told me the Methodists carried matters too far; that a man could not know his sins were forgiven: and all we might expect [...] [...]his life was a hope springing from an upright life. This doctrine exactly tallied with my experience, and was food for my fallen nature. I soon fully agreed with hi [...] in sentiment, and pleaded that no man could know his sins forgiven in this world. The grand enemy began now to exercise my mind in another way; namely to seek a literary qualification for the ministry in the church. This hung upon me for a considerable time; and I applied myself to reading and study for that purpose, often consulting my new counsellor. The Spirit of the Lord at times strove [Page 23]very powerfully, and I was frequently afraid that all was not well with me, especially when I was under Methodist preaching. To these people I was drawn; but it was like death to me; for I thought I had rather serve God in any way than among them; at the same time something within would tell me they were right. Being amazingly agitated in mind, I at length came to this conclusion, to give up my former pursuits and bend my mind to the improvement of my worldly property, and serve God in a private manner. I now set out as it were in full pursuit of business with an expectation of accumulating [...] riches of the world.
During the time of my self-secure state, I had the form of godliness, attended the church constantly, and sometimes went [...] hear the Methodists: I fasted once a we [...]k, prayed frequently every day in secret places, endeavoured to attend strictly to the Sabbath, often reproved open sin, and denied myself of what the world calls pleasure. I was so fast set in my way, that I thought I should certainly go to Heaven. And if at any time I was overtaken, I would endeavour to mend my pace and pray more [Page 24]frequently. I cannot say I was always without doubts; for often, under Methodist preaching, my poor foundation would shake, especially under the preaching of dear brother G. S. and I would scarcely recover my hope for many days; then I would be tempted to think they were a deluded people, and I would go among them no more: but still I was drawn again and again. I stood in a manner between the children of God and the world. When I was with the people of God I would endeavour to confute them; and when I was among their enemies, I plead their cause.
One day being at a distance from home, I met with a zealous Methodist exhorter. He asked me if I was born again? I told him I had a hope that I was. Do you know, said he, that your sins are forgiven? No, replied I, neither do I expect that knowledge in this world. I perceive, said he, that you are in the broad road to hell, and if you die in this state you will be damned. The Scripture, said I, tells us that the tree is known by its fruit; and our Lord likewise condemns rash judgment. What have you seen or known of my life that induced you to judge me in such a manner—I pity [Page 25]you, said I, and turned my back on him. But I could not easily forget the words of that pious young man, for they were as spears running through me.
In this state I continued till June 1775. The blessed morning I shall never forget! In the night I went to bed as usual; and slept till day break—Just as I awoke, I was alarmed by an awful voice, "Awake, sinner, for you are not prepared to die." This was as strongly impressed on my mind, as if it had been a human voice as loud as thunder. I was instantly smitten with conviction in a manner I had not been before. I started from my pillow, and cried out, Lord have mercy on my soul! As it was about the commencement of the late unhappy war, and there was to be a general review that day near my house, I had promised myself much satisfaction; for I was a professed friend to the American cause: however, instead of giving my attendance, I passed the morning away in solitude; and in the afternoon went out and heard a Methodist sermon. In sorrow I went, and in sorrow returned; and in sorrow the night passed away. None but those that have experienced [Page 26]the like exercises, can form an idea of what I underwent for several days.
The devil and the enmity of my heart seemed to rise higher and higher. On the Tuesday following, in the afternoon I heard Mr. D. R. preach; and was so opprest that I was scarce able to support under my burden. After preaching I called in with D. R. at Mrs. G—'s, and staid till about nine o'clock. On my way home being much distressed, I alighted from my horse in a lonely wood, and bowed my knees before the Lord; I sensibly felt two spirits, one on each hand. The good spirit set forth to my inmost mind, the beauties of religion; and I seemed almost ready to lay hold on my Saviour. Oh! unbelief! soul damning sin! it kept me from my Jesus. Then would the enemy rise up on the other hand, and dress religion in as odious a garb as possible; yea, he seemed in a moment of time, to set the world and the things of it in the most brilliant colours before me; telling m [...], all those things should be mine, if I would give up my false notions, and serve [...] [...]im. His temptations of a truth might b [...] con pared to a sweeping rain. I continued on my kn [...]s a considerable time, and at [Page 27]last began to give way to the reasoning of the enemy. My tender feelings abated, and my tears were gone; my heart was hard, but I continued on my knees in a kind of meditation; and at length addressed my Maker thus: Lord, spare me one year more, and by that time I can put my worldly affairs in such a train, that I can serve thee. (I seemed as if I felt the two spirits with me.) The answer was, "Now is the accepted time." I then plead for six months, but was denied—one month, no—I then asked for one week, the answer was, "This is the time." For some time the devil was silent, till I was denied one week in [...]is service; then it was he shot a power [...]l dart. "The God," said he, "you are attempting to serve, is a hard Master; and I would have you to desist from your endeavour." Carnal people know very little of this kind of exercise: but it was as perceptible to me, as if I had been conversing with two persons face to face. As soon as this powerful temptation came, I felt my heart rise sensibly (I do not say with enmity) against my Maker, and immediately I arose from my knees with these words, "I will take my own time, and then I will [Page 28]serve thee." I mounted my horse with a hard, unbelieving heart, unwilling to submit to Jesus. Oh! what a good God had I to deal with! I might in justice have been sent to hell.
I had not rode a quarter of a mile, besore the Lord met me powerfully with these words, "These three years have I come seeking fruit on this sig-tree; and find none." And then the following words were added, "I have come once more to offer you life and salvation, and it is the last time: chuse, or refuse." I was instantly surrounded with a divine power: heaven and hell were disclosed to view, and life and death were set before me. I do believe if I had rejected this call, mercy would have been for ever taken from me. Man hath power to chuse or refuse in religious matters; otherwise God would have no reasonable service from his creatures. I knew the very instant, when I submitted to the Lord, and was willing that Christ should reign over me: I likewise knew the two sins which I parted with last, pride and unbelief. I threw the reins of my bridle on my horse's neck, and putting my hands together, cried out, Lord, I submit. [Page 29]I was less than nothing in my own sight; and was now, for the first time, reconciled to the justice of God. The enmity of my heart was slain—The plan of salvation was open to me—I saw a beauty in the perfections of the Deity, and felt that power of faith and love that I had ever been a stranger to before.
SECTION II. From my Conversion till I entered the Connection as a Travelling Preacher.
AFTER I found this pearl of great price, my soul was so exceedingly happy, that I seemed as if I wanted to take wing and fly away to heaven. Although alone in an unfrequented wood, I was constrained to sound forth the praises of my dear Redeemer. I thought I should not be ashamed to publish it to the ends of the earth. As I drew near to the house, the servants heard me, and came to meet me at the gate in great surprise. The st [...]s seemed as so many [...] going forth in [Page 30]their Maker's praise. I called the family together for prayer, but my prayer was turned into praise.
About midnight I laid down to rest; but my soul was so happy in God, I scarcely wished for sleep; however, at length my eyes were closed; but behold! about day-break I awoke, and was strongly tempted by the devil; "Oh!" said the adversary, "where is your religion now? It was only a dream." I started from my pillow —I remembered the time and place where I received the blessing: and was enabled to repel that temptation. Again said he, "It is all a delusion." This assault pained me to the heart. Not feeling as I had done, I began to conclude perhaps it might be so; and betook myself to the fields and woods, under deep distress. I frequently bowed my knees before the Lord; and, blessed be his dear name, about nine in the morning my beloved Master visited my heart with his love. And I think I received as great a manifestation as at the first. This visit was attended with an impressio [...] to go to such a place, and declare to a [...] who might be there, what great things the Lord had done for me. I went to the [Page 31]house, got my horse, and set out. When I arrived at the place, I found a Methodist preacher, and several of my acquaintance. And it was strongly impressed on my mind to deliver my message. I sat down among them, but the cross was too heavy. I sat hours, and grieved the blessed Spirit, till I was brought under heavy trials, yea, deep distress of soul; and in that way I returned home.
For the good of others, I shall speak of a few days' exercise on this occasion. The dear Redeemer left me, or rather hid his face from me: and I had to wade through deep waters. I fasted and prayed, till I was almost reduced to a skeleton; but did not open my mouth to any one. I was sinking into desperation.—O! how powerfully was I harassed by the devil, day and night! The Saturday following I was walking through the fields; all nature was clothed with beauty and verdure; but I could discover no charms in aught around me: but was under the deepest exercises of mind, and severely tempted of the devil. "Ah," suggested he, "where is your God now?" He thrust atheism and deism against me; and thus suggested to my mind, "You [Page 32]see you have been deluded; and if you will now take my advice, you will deny every pretension to this religion. The Methodists are a set of enthusiasts, and you have now a proof of it." Then with what splendor was the world exhibited to my imagination: "All these things," suggested he, "will I give you if you will deny that God you have been attempting to serve, and pray to him no more." I was sunk as low as I could possibly be; for my mind was encompassed with darkness, and the most severe distress. I was afraid my lips would be forced open to deny the God who made me. Glory, glory to my Lord! who again gave me a view of an opening eternity, and a sense of his dread Majesty; the sight of which brought me into the dust, prostrate with my face to the ground, where I lay for a considerable time with language similar to this, if I perish, it shall be at thy feet, crying for mercy. Thus I lay, till I recovered a gleam of hope that I should be saved at last.
I arose from the earth, and advancing towards the house in deep thought, I came to this conclusion, that I would exclude myself from the society of men, and live [Page 33]in a cell upon bread and water, mourning out my days for having grieved my Lord. I went into my room and sat in one position till nine o'clock. I then threw myself on the bed, and slept till morning. Although it was the Lord's-day, I did not intend to go to any place of worship; neither did I desire to see any person, but wished to pass my time away in total solitude. I continued reading the Bible till eight, and then under a sense of duty, called the family together for prayer. As I stood with a book in my hand, in the act of giving out a hymn, this thought powerfully struck my mind, "It is not right for you to keep your fellow-creatures in bondage; you must let the oppressed go free." I knew it to be that same blessed voice which had spoken to me before—till then I had never suspected that the practice of slave-keeping was wrong; I had not read a book on the subject, nor been told so by any—I paused a minute and then replied, "Lord, the oppressed shall go free." And I was as clear of them in my mind, as if I had never owned one. I told them they did not belong to me, and that I did not desire their services without [Page 34]making them a compensation; and I was now at liberty to proceed in worship. After singing, I kneeled to pray. Had I the tongue of an angel, I could not fully describe what I felt: all my dejection and that melancholy gloom which preyed upon me, vanished in a moment: a divine sweetness ran through my whole frame—O! in what a wonderful manner was my poor soul let into the depths of my Redeemer's loved Praise and glory to his name for ever!
I had now no desire to confine myself to a cell, but wished to spread my Redeemer's glory to the ends of the world. I bless the Lord for leading me safe through such fiery trials! My late affliction of mind was for my good. It was God, not man, that taught me the impropriety of holding slaves: and I shall never be able to praise him enough for it. My very heart has bled, since that, for slave-holders, especially those who make a profession of religion; for I believe it to be a crying sin. In the forenoon I attended church, but I could not find what I wanted. In the afternoon I went to hear the Methodists; and something told me, "these are the people." I was so happy in the time of [Page 35]preaching, that I could conceal it no longer; so I determined to chuse God's people for my people, and returned home rejoicing.
A few days after, I attended a class-meeting on Deer-creek, for the first time, and was convinced it was a prudential institution; and my heart was more than ever united to this community. I told Br. H. a pious man, what the Lord had done for me. I now began again to be pressed in spirit to visit my friends and neighbours; and especially some particular families which lay with weight on my mind. The first visit I made, the man of the house was much enraged against me; but my dear Lord gave me one or two of his children. Shortly after I visited another family; and the master was brought to cry for mercy, on his knees before the Lord. The third was near twenty miles off: I seemed to go with confidence, and got there a little before night: I told him what God had done for me, and desired he would send out and call in the neighbours, and I would pray with and for them. The person did so, and after prayer I was obliged, for the first time, to open my mouth by way of exhortation; [Page 36]and the Lord filled it, and sent his arrows to the hearts of three sinners, one of whom slept very little that night; and another followed me near sixteen miles the next day.
I again attended class for the second time at Mr. D.'s; and as they had not heard what had happened to me, some of them were fearful that I had come in to spy out their liberties. I arose from my seat, and, for the first time among the Methodists, publicly declared what the Lord had done [...] me. A divine kindling ran through the whole house; and we had a blessed meeting. The leader offered to give up his paper to me; but I refused, saying [...] would visit them as often as I could; and so returned home, praising God.
I felt an impression to go to that brother I have before mentioned, who was raised from the jaws of death: he was in a seeking way; but did not profess the faith of assurance. I begged of him to call a meeting in his own house, and I found grea [...] freedom to speak, and appointed anoth [...] meeting; about forty people gathered; an [...] whilst I was speaking, the power of th [...] Lord came down in a wonderful manner [Page 37]near half the poor sinners that were present, were struck to the floor, and cried for mercy to such a degree, that they were heard at a great distance. After the meeting was ever, many continued crying for mercy.
The next morning a gentleman who lived not far off, came to the house to beat me: soon after he entered he began to swear, affirming I would spoil all his negroes. I told him if he did not leave off swearing, he would send his soul to hell. He replied, "If I said that again, he would level me to the floor." I assured him [...] would reprove him whenever he took [...] Lord's name in vain. He then rose [...] and struck me on the side of the face, and followed his blows. There were five of us in the house, my brother, his overseer, myself, and two enemies. I was afraid we should have had a general battle. My brother was only awakened; his overseer had no religion beyond a zeal for the truth, and such a love for my brother and myself, that he would almost have laid down his life for us. My mind was perfectly calm [...] and my soul so happy, that I scarce felt his blows. I saw the Lord's hand in my preservation; for though he was in so violent [Page 38]a rage, I had not been exhorting many minutes (with tears) before he was as quiet as a lamb: and he and his man, bidding us good morning, went away. Dear man! not long after he was taken into as awful eternity.
I now began to hold evening meetings in different places, several times in a week: and united those who were awakened into a kind of society; and several, I trust, were happily united to Jesus. O! what sweet times I used to have. Frequently we have [...]tinued singing, praying, and praising [...] till after midnight. Many of my re [...]ns were sorry for, and pitied me; but glory to God! I delighted in the cross of my dear Saviour. I was assaulted by many inward conflicts from the devil and the corruptions of my own heart; but Jesus was precious to me.
I had an appointment, one Lord's day, but before I got there a company of Belial's children gathered to prevent the meeting; but, blessed be God, I was enable [...] to speak boldly; and although some rage [...] and threatened me, my faith was so strong I did not believe they could hurt me. [...] shall never forget that day; it was a tim [...] [Page 39]of rejoicing to my poor soul! O that I may always give glory to my dear Lord!
I was determined I would have nothing to do with the unhappy war; it was contrary to my mind, and grievous to my conscience, to have any hand in shedding human blood. On this account I was taken, at the general meeting, before the rulers. But my dear Lord was with me, and gave me words that my opposers could not resist. While surrounded by my enemies, my soul was happy, and, with tears flowing from my eyes, I told them their d [...] ger, and entreated them to turn to [...] Lord: they laid a fine upon me, [...] Lord would not permit them to take a farthing of my property. On being dismissed, I withdrew and found great freedom to pray for them; and returned home with a glad heart.
It was pressed on my mind to have some conversation with Mr. W—. He had been the means of keeping me from God and his people for a long time. We had a long discourse in the vestry chamber, before the vestry: where I told him what God had done for me. He desired to know who gave me authority to hold meetings in his [Page 40]parish? I told him I did not do it either for money or honor; that while there were sinners in his parish, and the Lord pressed it on my mind, I should call them to repentance. "You have no right to do it," said he, "unless you were ordained." The love of God constraineth me, said I, and I must open my mouth in his cause. Having tasted his goodness, I have a longing desire that my neighbours should be made happy too. After a conversation of near two hours on the new birth, finding his [...]ind disturbed, I told him in a plain man [...] what I thought of his doctrine, and [...] effect it formerly had on me, and so our meeting ended. After I withdrew to my home, being young in the way, very few to strengthen and many to weaken my hands, I was sorely tempted of Satan to give up my confidence in my dear Lord. And under heavy affliction of mind I withdrew, and wrestled in prayer till the Lord visited me, and dispersed every doubt and every fear; giving me these words for my comfort, "Fear not, I am with you, and will support you under all your trials." O what consolatory streams flowed into my [Page 41]heart! and how was I strengthened and enabled to rejoice in the Lord!
Mr. T. R. understanding that my mind was exercised respecting the ministry, sent to me to meet him at Mr. D—'s; I did so, and although he was a stranger to me, I found in him a father, who gave me most salutary advice, which I stood much in need of: for I had been wading through deep waters, and under very severe exercises. I left him, much strengthened and encouraged to go on in the blessed work. Some time after my brother requested to have preaching at his house, and it was there I became acquainted with Mr. R—a, who applied to me to travel with him. I complied, and found myself very happy; and at times had freedom to speak, though the cross was very heavy; and I was often ready to start back. I had not been with him long before I returned home, and was so powerfully exercised, that I concluded it would not do to become a travelling preacher. Here my enemy stepped in, and told me there was one way to prevent it, which was to alter my condition. The object was soon determined on, and I made her a visit, told my errand, and set a time [Page 42]when I should expect to have her answer. Many pleasing prospects now opened upon me; all this time I was willing to do any thing about home to promote the cause of religion: but it was like death to me to travel. The time arrived, and I went to know the person's mind respecting my late proposal; but behold! the hand of the Lord was against it: during the night it was as if some person was telling me, "You are about to do your own will; I have a greater work for you; you must go out and preach the gospel." My mind was so disquieted, I scarcely closed my eyes throughout the night; till being fully convinced I was entering on a work the Lord had not called me to, I determined to give the matter up. In the morning early, I met the person in the hall; I told her my difficulty; and that I believed the Lord had a greater work for me to do. I have written on this subject for the benefit of young preachers, into whose hands this may fall: being persuaded the enemy of souls exercises many of them in the same way. O that they may be wise and break the snare of the devil! Mr. R—a desired me to meet him in Baltimore town at a [Page 43]certain time: I went, and he forced me into the pulpit, but the cross was so heavy, and my temptations so great, I could scarcely support under them; but, blessed be God, after I opened my mouth, I felt my dear Saviour, and it was a sweet time to me, and I expect to many more. I travelled a few days with him, after which he sent me on a circuit alone. This was the fall after my conversion. I found great liberty of speech, and the word was blessed to many souls, for the Lord greatly assisted me, and I had sweet, refreshing seasons. Oh! how happy might I have been, had I guarded against my powerful adversary! I had not been on the circuit more than fifteen days, before I gave way to the devil's suggestions, and concluded I was not called to this work. I left the circuit under deep dejection, and returned home; determined I would never attempt it again. The devil told me, the more I went among the Methodists, particularly the preachers, the more my mind would be distressed about travelling. I was still willing to speak [...] casionally about home; but to go through the world, I knew not where, was a burden too heavy for me to bear.
It is not in my power to give a full account of all my exercises from the fall till the following spring. It may however be necessary to touch on a few particulars; for about four months I spent my time in prayer, reading, and such like exercises, except when I was from home, at preaching, or holding meetings myself. The idea of travelling and preaching the gospel was constantly held up to my view. Frequently, when riding or walking, I was drawn out on divine subjects, and at times the Bible seemed all open to me: it was not uncommon for me to preach in my sleep. One night the whole world of sinners seemed to be exhibited as it were in the air, suspended by a slender thread, and the dismal pit beneath them. I saw them careless and unconcerned, in all kinds of ungodly practices, as secure as if in no sort of danger: in my sleep I began to cry aloud to convince them of their danger; till I awakened my brother, who the [...] awoke me: I was sitting up in my bed, trembling and as wet with sweat as if I had been dipped in a river. Although I lived so abstemiously, I had very little happiness; except at those times when I felt a [Page 45]degree of willingness to labor for my dear Lord. I have frequently stood astonished, wept and mourned in secret before the Lord, and entreated him to send some one else that was more sensible and capable than myself: looking around in my mind, and nominating such and such persons, whom I conceived to be more fit for the office of the ministry; saying, how can it be, that such an unworthy, ignorant being should be set apart for so great a work? When on my way to my occasional appointments, I would promise in my mind, that if the Lord attended his word with great power, I would consent to give up, and labor for him. And at such times I have had great displays of the goodness of God, and sinners weeping all around; and although my mind at the present would be resolved, unbelief would again assault and overpower me.
In the month of March my conflicts were so great, I almost sunk under them. The ungodly amongst my acquaintances knew not what was the matter with me: some would ask if I was sick (for I was much worn away.) Others would say behind my back, he will come to nothing. I believe [Page 46]I had a more severe travail of soul before I submitted to be a travelling preacher, than I had gone through for justifying grace. One day being almost weary of life, and under deep dejection, I thought if the Lord would manifest his will, I would, through grace, obey. I was next led to enquire how I was to expect this desired favor. I kneeled down by the bed and prayed to the Lord, by some means or other, to make a discovery to me, in the clearest manner, of what he would have me to do. I arose from my knees without any particular answer, much burdened and greatly distressed. I threw myself on the bed again, and in less than two minutes I was in a sound sleep. I dreamed I saw the devil come in at the door, and advance towards me; I thought a good angel came and spake to me, saying "Will you go and preach the gospel?" I replied, "I am unworthy, I cannot go:" Instantly the devil laid hold of my hand, and I began to struggle to get from him; I saw but one way that I could escape, and that was a very narrow one. The good angel said to me, "There [...] dispensation of the gospel committed to you, and wo unto you, if you preach not the gospel." I [Page 47]struggled for some time to get from him, but in vain, at length I cried out, "Lord, send by whom thou wilt, I am willing to go and preach thy gospel." No sooner had I thus submitted, than I saw the devil fly as it were through the end of the house in a flame of fire. I awoke, immediately every cloud was dispersed, and my soul was enraptured with the love of my dear Saviour. I wanted now to converse with some experienced person on the subject, my way now appeared so open, I thought I should never have any more doubts to contend with. I believe it was the next day, I received a letter from brother D. R. desiring me to come and take the circuit a sew weeks while he went to Philadelphia. I had no doubt, but the Lord directed him to write thus. Before the day arrived that I was to set off, the enemy strove again to prevent me; telling me, I was deluded, that it was only my own fancy, or the vanity of my own heart. After I set out I was persecuted to that degree, I was ready to desire my horse might throw me and put an end to my life; or maim me so that I might not be able to go on. In the evening I got to brother D. R.'s, in Cecil, [Page 48]where he had an appointment for me, but my exercises were so severe, that I could say but little. The next day he left me, and I concluded to go on the circuit. Of all creatures in the world, I have the gratest reason to be thankful to the Lord, for his tender care of me, a poor, weak rebel against him. At the first and second places to which I went, the Lord was powerfully present; and I believe good was done. I was now quite willing to be an exhorter; but thought I would not take a text: However I had not travelled far before I had a text suggested to me, and I refused, till my gift of exhortation was almost taken away; and my mind was amazingly distressed again.
One Sabbath I came to a place near Choptank bridge, where I again refused to give out a text, and it pleased the Lord to hide his face, so that I was unable to speak with any degree of freedom. I went to my afternoon's appointment very low both in mind and body; having taken very little refreshment for several days. I determined if a text opened to me, I would give it out boldly, and trust in the Lord. It was so, and I gave out "Behold the man." I [Page 49]shall never forget the afternoon; it was a time of power to me and many others; the whole Bible seemed open to me. The next day I went to my appointment, with some willingness to be a preacher. I gave out this text, "The great day of his wrath is come, and who shall be able to stand." I endeavoured to shew, as I could, how awful that day would be; and who would, and who would not, be enabled to stand; with the dreadful consequence. The power of God in a very remarkable manner came down among the people, and hardened sinners were brought to cry for mercy. When almost spent, I stopt; but the people continued praying; O! it was a memorable season! my soul was happy, and my heart humbled. I was now willing to be a preacher, and thought surely I shall never doubt again.
When brother D. R. returned, he took the circuit, and I went out to open a new one. As I passed along through Tuckeyhoe Neck, I called at a house and asked the woman, if she wanted to hear the word of the Lord preached, if the did, to send and call in her neighbours; she did so, and I found great freedom. I gave out, that I [Page 50]would preach again the next day. The man of the house was an officer of rank, and it being a day of general mustering, he marched up all the company, and I spake to hundreds with freedom; many tears were shed, and several convicted, one of whom has since become a preacher. I continued several days in the Neck, and my labors were attended with success.
I again met brother D. R. in Cecil county, where we had a quarterly-meeting, and from thence we set out for Hartford. He solicited me not to fail attending the Baltimore conference. On the Lord's-day following, an appointment was made for me to preach in my native place; and a multitude gathered: amongst whom many of my old friends and relations were there, which made the cross very heavy. I gave out my old text, "The great day of his wrath is come, and who shall be able to stand." Just as I had entered on the subject, I fainted under the cross, and fell to the ground (I was preaching under the trees) where I laid till water was brought and thrown on me, when I immediately recovered, and was enabled to rise. I then proc [...]eded, the subject opened to me, and [Page 51]we had a solemn season. On Monday I had a severe conflict about attending the conference. The exercise of my mind was too great for my emaciated frame. I betook myself to my bed and lay till twelve o'clock, and then rose up, and set off. I got into Baltimore about sun-set. The conference was to begin the next day: I attended, passed through an examination, and was admitted on trial: and my name was, for the first time, classed among the Methodists; and I received of Mr. T. R. a written license. My mind continued so agitated (for I still felt an unwillingness to be a travelling preacher) that after I went from the preaching-house to dinner, I again fainted under my burden, and sunk to the floor. When I recovered, I found myself in an upper chamber on the bed, surrounded by several preachers; I asked, "where I had been," and seemed to be lost to all things below, appearing to have been in a place from whence I did not desire to return: the brethren joined in prayer, my soul was so happy, and every thing wore so pleasing an aspect, that the preachers appeared more like angels to me than men. And I have blessed my dear Lord ever since, that [Page 52]I was ever united to this happy family; though unworthy of a seat among them.
SECTION III. A short Account of my first Year's Travels in Maryland and Virginia.
I WAS appointed to travel in the Frederic circuit with Mr. R. and as the conference ended on Friday, I set out and got as far as Mr. W—n's, and the next day got into my circuit. I preached on the Lord's-day with very little freedom, or happiness to my own soul: the enemy still pursued me, throwing in his fiery darts. At times. I had sweet communion with my dear Lord; but a consciousness of my weakness and inability for the great work in which I had engaged, caused my hands [...] hang down. I was a young soldier, and knew but little about exercising the Christian armour. The goodness of God was great to me, in opening the hearts of the [Page 53]people to receive and bear with my weaknesses.
One day on my way to my appointment, the difficulties appeared so great, that I turned my horse, three different times, homeward. I was in a solitary wood, entirely alone; I wept, and mourned, and prayed at the feet of my Lord, and was encouraged to go forward: I did, and a sweet and powerful meeting we had. Sometimes when I have been at the appointed place, and the people assembling, I have been tempted to hide myself, or wish that I was sick; at other times I have envied the happiness of crawling insects on the face of the earth; and I have constantly found, that the greater cross it was to speak for God, the greater was the blessing, both to myself and the people. In similar cases, I seldom open [...]d my mouth to speak in public, but what the power of the Lord was sensibly felt. My Bible, at particular times, would appear so small that I could not find a text. I remember one day, a congregation was gathered, and I was alone, under deep exercise; and it appeared as if there was not one verse in the Bible that I could speak upon: but all on a sudden, whilst I was on [Page 54]my knees before the Lord, the following text was powerfully applied: The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach glad tidings to the meek, to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound. Isaiah lxi. 1. I immediately met the assembly, and after singing and prayer, gave out the text, and the power of God descended in an extraordinary manner. Before this, the people were so hardened, that we had no more than four members; but before I left the house, twenty, who seemed to be that day broken in heart, were added to the society: and we continued singing and praying till near sunset, and there appeared to be very sew in the congregation whose hearts were not touched; my voice being almost lost in the cries of the distressed. O! blessed be God! this was a day of marrow and fat things to my poor heart.
Some time after I was requested to appoint a watch-night, and I consented. Mr. R. was displeased that I had not consulted him; but I was innocent, knowing very little of the discipline. Many people came together, and many of the children of the [Page 55]devil were angry and stoned the house; but our dear Lord was powerfully present. God's people had a little paradise; and I trust there were several new-born souls, and some poor sinners brought to tremble. I can truly say it was a great time with me.
I continued six months in this circuit: and blessed be God! many were added to the society; his children much quickened; and many happily brought into the kingdom of grace. My heart was closely united to the people, and they were remarkably kind to me, all around the circuit. I thought it a great favor to be received as a preacher: and I verily believe the Lord inclined the hearts of the people to overlook my many weaknesses and want of knowledge; and, for the sake of his dear Son, he in a small measure owned my efforts. To his honor be it spoken.
I think it was in November I was sent to Fairfax circuit, where I staid three months. I had many happy moments, and preached the gospel with freedom. I cannot say I met with much success, neither was I so powerfully harassed by the devil. I was now better acquainted with his devices; and, I trust, had a more steady confidence in my [Page 56]dear Saviour. I began to preach the word more freely, and was not so easily shaken with respect to my call to the ministry: and I was now entirely willing to be a travelling preacher: and blessed be God! he gave me favor in the sight of the people.
As there were many doors open for us in New Virginia, and several small societies formed, Mr. R. thought it expedient to send me into those parts of the country; and blessed be my God! I found a willingness to go any where, and to do any thing that would bring most honor and service to the church of God. I bless and praise [...] Lord for his goodness to me during my stay in that part of his vineyard, for he wonderfully enlarged my desires after him; and increased my gifts, and opened the hearts and houses of the people to receive his servant and his wood. And many were added to the society.
I visited Shepherd's town, lying high up on the Patowmac river. On the Lord's-day I attended the church, and heard their minister preach on Keep holy the Sabbath-day. He was a slow-spoken man, and I think his discourse took up fifteen minutes. [Page 57]He said there was no harm in civil amusements on a week-day; but they ought to refrain from them on the Sabbath. I had no doubt but his discourse was his own composition. I do not remember a word about the fall of man, faith, or repentance. I asked liberty, and went up into the pulpit after him, and gave out, How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation? Heb. ii. 3. After I had done, one of his hearers asked him what he thought of the doctrine the stranger had delivered? Why, said he, he seems to bring scripture to prove it; it may be so, but if it is, I know nothing of it.
I preached every other Sunday in church, during my stay in this new circuit; [...] the fourth sermon there were as many people as could crowd into the building. There was a great agitation among the congregation, and the word took such effect on the heart of a woman, that she cried so loud for mercy as to make the church ring: the people, being unacquainted with such things, strove to get out; but the aisles, and every place were so crowded, that they could not, unless they had first given way at the doors. In a few minutes the Lord set her soul at [Page 58]liberty. She clapped her hands in an ecstasy of joy, praised the Lord, and then sat down quietly. The whole congregation seemed to be lost in amazement, and the divine presence appeared to run through the whole house: most of the people were melted into tears. The Presbyterian minister was among the crowd, and most of his congregation came to hear what the babbler had to say. This man with his deacon I met on the road a few days after. "I was hearing you preach," said he, "and I did not like your doctrine." What was your objection, said I. "Why it was a volley of stuff." Well, said I, if the Lord makes use of it to bring souls to himself, I wish to [...] thankful and satisfied. "You preach perfection," said he, "and that I do not believe to be attainable in this life." Then said I, you do not hold with the doctrine of our Lord and his apostles; our Lord says, he ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect, and the apostle says, the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin. When a [...] we to be made perfect? "Not till death," said he. Our Lord, said I, came to destroy the works of the devil; and do you suppose he will call death to his assistance? Death in scripture [Page 59]is called the last enemy, and we learn, that as death leaves us, judgment will find us; and that there is no knowledge or work in the grave. And if we die in our sins, where the Lord is, we cannot come: I want to know how death is to bring this work about. "Why," said he, "at the article of death, sin is done away, and not till then." Then first, you must hold with a death purgatory, or secondly, a purgatory after death, or thirdly, a salvation from all sin in this world. The Papists say, we must be refined by the fire of purgatory: The Universalians say, that the last farthing will be paid in hell; and you say, nay, death will do it: but we witness to the doctrine of the holy scriptures, and say, that his name shall be called Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins. Do you not, said I, believe that the Lord is able to wash and cleanse the soul from all sin one minute before death? He agreed at last that it might be a minute before death. And if a minute, why not a day, a month, yea, why not seven years? The apostle saith, behold, now is the accepted time [...] hold, now is the day of salvation! How [...] any man limit the Holy One of [...] have done with you," cried he and his deacon, [Page 60]and so saying turned their backs upon me.
A few evenings after, I preached near his house, and he and his deacon were present again; a precious, sweet season we had; a great shaking among sinners, and I expect the heart of the minister was also softened. He came to me after sermon, and asked my pardon if he had said any thing amiss.
Glory to God, he enabled me to travel largely through that country during my stay there; and preach one, two, three, and sometimes four sermons a day. The last sermon I preached was from Finally, brethren, farewell, &c. This was a time not soon to be forgotten. A large congregation seemed to drink in every word; such attention was given, and so much of the divine presence felt, that I continued near three hours, and then the people hung around me in such a manner that I could scarcely get from them, begging me with tears not to leave them.
I rode about ten miles and preached to a number of people in a meadow surrounded by mountains; and I do believe good was done.
[Page 61] Having an invitation, I went to the house of an old Quaker; and in the morning before my departure had family prayer; the Lord touched the hearts of both the old people and their children; for they were in tears, and entreated me to return that way again.
I attended quarterly meeting in Fairfax, and met Mr. T. R. with several others, who were on their way to the conference, which was held at Deer-creek. During this year. I had many sweet moments, though severely buffeted by the enemy of my soul; but, I bless God, I was enabled to go on in his work.
SECTION IV. A short Account of my first Journey through Old Virginia and Carolina, including one Year.
CONFERENCE began at Deer-creek the 20th of May, 1777, and continued till the Friday following. I was greatly refreshed among the servants [...] [Page 62]God; some of whom I have never seen since, nor shall again on this side of eternity.
My appointment was in Virginia, in what was called Brunswick circuit, with brother W. and brother T. After spending a few days among my relations and old friends, on Monday I set out for my circuit, and on Tuesday met the preachers at brother M—r's in Fairfax: and the next morning we set out in company on our way. My appointment was much to my mind, and I had a lively hope that my dear Lord would be with me, and bless my weak endeavours to promote his cause.
We travelled several days before we met any Methodists; but my dear Lord befriended us, for we had happy times together; and had an opportunity of preaching several sermons before we reached our circuit: we had a sweet season at the house of a good old man; and I think we were providentially sent thither, not only for the benefit of the family, but likewise of many others.
June the 4th I parted with my company, and thanks be to God, my soul was [...]shed as w [...]h new wine. The same [Page 63]day I was brought to the house of a kind widow, who sent out and called a company together. There was a young, growing society in this neighbourhood. I preached from Fear not, little flock, &c. Luke xii. 32. From what I could understand they had seldom had such a time of refreshing. I could say it is good for me to be here. My confidence still grew stronger with respect to my call to the ministry.
On the fifth of June I got into my circuit, and on Saturday the 7th, began my ministry among a lively people. I was attacked by an officer who wanted to know my mind respecting fighting. I told him God had taught me better than to use carnal weapons against the lives of human creatures. He intimated something about stopping me. I told him I was not afraid of man—that if he did not learn to fight with other weapons he would go to hell.
On Sunday the eighth of June, I preached at brother I—'s to many serious people. While I was pointing out the gospel-salvation, there was a shout in the camp of Israel; and after the meeting ended there was a rejoicing among the people. I met the society, and was more than ever confirmed [Page 64]in my belief, that the Lord had sent me into that part of his vineyard. I there met with a black boy that was happy in the Lord; and I thought he exceeded all the youths that ever I saw for a gift and power in prayer.
Monday June the 9th, I preached a few miles off, from those words, Loose him and let him go. There were as many people as the house could contain. And after preaching near two hours, the cries of the assembly were so great that I gave over. The people continued together a long time after, and I doubt not but several were set at liberty. O Jesus! thou still increasest my faith; thou givest me lively sensations of thy pardoning love; and that thou hast called me to the ministry of thy blessed word. At this meeting we were so wonderfully drawn out that we knew not when to part, having seldom felt the like. The next day I had great freedom to preach, and one soul was born of God.
Thursday June 12, I found much ease in preaching at Dr. C—r's to an attentive, solemn congregation; but not very lively. I rode to Col. T—r's, and met brother E. P. We held a watch-night, and I [Page 65]think I never had more freedom to speak. The word was blessed to the colonel and his family, and they treate [...] me ever after more like a son than a stranger; yea, I I may say, more like an angel than a poor clod of earth. And I, on my part, shall ever respect them for their kindness to me.
The next day I again crossed the Roanoak river, and had great liberty to preach from these words, For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone, the flowers appear on the earth, the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in the land, &c. After this, we had a love-feast, and many spake freely of the goodness of God. In this place the people wanted to gain me with their kindness; but I refused their obliging offers, being convinced I should do more good in wandering up and down the earth without any incumbrances; and as for riches, I had enough to serve my purposes. The temptation was considerable, and pleasing to nature. Vain world, away with your flattery! I could rejoice in my God, with the testimony of a good conscience, knowing that the oblation was made for the [Page 66]good of Christ's church, which he purchased with his own blood. It was no time to think of houses and land, &c. I passed on, rejoicing in God my Saviour, and was greatly encouraged in the blessed work. But halcyon days did not always attend me. For again I experienced the severe buffetings of Satan; but my exercises proved a blessing to me, for my soul was humbled, and I was made in a measure sensible of the need of a deeper work of grace on my heart, before I could be completely happy.
Sunday June 22d, in Roanoak chapel I preached to about five hundred whites, and almost as many blacks who stood without; I found freedom of mind, and tears trickled down the faces of many, both white and black. And the next day while I was preaching a funeral sermon, we had much of the divine presence. In this way I continued around the circuit, till the quarterly meeting, which was held in August, [...] Maberry's chap [...]l. The Lord was with me, blest my endeavours, and increased my love to him and his [...]eople. In this [...]rcuit I conver [...]ed with some deeply-expe [...]ed Christi [...], and by their humble [Page 67]walk and heavenly conversation, I was much stirred up to seek a deeper work of grace; especially by the experience of sister B—. I believed there was such a thing as perfect love to be attained in this world; and I likewise knew I was not in possession of it: I saw a beauty in the doctrine, and preached it, but it was at a distance.
About this time the state-oath began to be administered, and was universally complied with, both by preachers and people where I was; but I could by no means be subject to my rulers in this respect, as it touched my conscience towards God: so I was informed I must either leave the state, take the oath, or go to gaol. I told those who came to tender the oath to me, that I professed myself a friend to my country: that I would do nothing willingly or knowingly to the prejudice of it: that if they required it, I would give them good security of my friendly behaviour during my stay in the state. "But why," said they, "will you not take the oath?" "I think," said I, "the oath is too binding on my conscience; moreover, I never swor [...] an oath in my life: and ministers of the gospe [...] have enough to do in their sphere. I [Page 68]want, in all things, to keep a conscience void of offence, to walk in the safest way, and to do all the good I can in bringing sinners to God."
Many of my friends endeavoured to persuade me to comply; alleging, that I might be more useful among the people: but it was to no purpose. The rulers said, "You must leave the state." This I cannot do; for, first, the conference appointed me to labor in this state: and in the second place, I am confident that my appointment is approved of by my heavenly Father; and therefore, I dare not leave the state. "Then," said they, "you must away to prison." That matter, I replied, I leave to the God of Daniel; assured he is able to defend my cause; whether in or out of gaol.
The many trials I had on this occasion drove me nearer to God, and as many thought that every sermon would be my last, many more attended than otherwise would; and I found much freedom to preach the word; and good was done: I also found a great degree of sweetness in my dear Saviour, for great was his goodness to me.
[Page 69] At a certain place several of the rulers bound themselves to put me to gaol, when I came that way again: my friends persuaded me to decline going there; but I told them I could not be clear if I distrusted so good a God. Before I came round to that place, the Lord laid his afflicting hand on some of those ruling men who had threatened to imprison me; so that when I went there, several of them had already made their exit off the stage of human action: and another was lying at the point of death. I preached with much freedom, but there was none to lay the hand of violence upon me; though I had been chased for several months before: and the persecution from this quarter entirely subsided during my stay in the state. In this circuit I met with a number of inward and outward trials; but I bless God, that ever he sent me into this part of his vineyard: for I can truly say, that the life and conversation of many of my worthy friends (some of whom were older in the grace of God than myself) were made a great blessing to me. O! how shall I make suitable returns to my God for the thousands of his favors.
[Page 70] In September I went to North-Carolina, to travel Roanoak circuit, and was sweetly drawn out in the glorious work, though my exercises were very great, particularly respecting the slavery and hard usage of the poor afflicted negroes. Many times did my heart ache on their account, and many tears ran down my cheeks, both in Virginia and Carolina, while exhibiting a crucified Jesus to their view; and I bless God that my labors were not in vain among them. I endeavoured frequently to inculcate the doctrine of freedom in a private way, and this procured me the ill will of some, who were in that unmerciful practice. I would often set apart times to preach to the blacks, and adapt my discourse to them alone; and precious moments have I had; while many of their sable faces were bedewed with tears, their withered hands of saith were stretched out, and their precious souls made white in the blood of the Lamb. The suffering of those poor out-casts of men, through the blessing of God, drove them near to the Lord, and many of them were amazingly happy.
Respecting Christian perfection, I believed such a thing to be attainable in this [Page 71]life, and in public and private contended for it, and had often felt the need of it in my own soul: but I never had such a view of it in my life as in this circuit. My dear Lord, in a very powerful and sudden manner, gave me to see and feel the need of this blessed work. Every heart-corruption was discovered to me by the blessed Spirit, at the house of that dear afflicted mother in Israel Mrs. Y. I have had many sweet moments with that precious family; but she has since gone to Abraham's bosom. This discovery was made to me while I was alone in the preachers' room. I expected in a few moments to be in eternity; and the cry of my heart was, Lord, save me from inbred sin. The purity of God, heaven, and the law, with the impurity of my heart, were so disclosed to my view, that I was humbled in the very dust; and expected never to enter into the kingdom of heaven: without a greater likeness to my dear Lord. I rejoiced that the cold hand of death was not upon me; for I saw with my bodily eyes a ghostly appearance, which in a few moments vanished away. And for more than a week, an earnest struggle con [...]d in my heart for all the mind which [...] [Page 72]Christ. My appointments were made, or I am apprehensive I should have declined preaching so pure a gospel, till the heart-corruptions which I felt were washed away. The enemy strove very hard to rob me of my confidence; but although I was at times brought very low, yet I did not let go my hold of the dear Redeemer, the witness of my justification, &c.
One day, I went to my appointment, and whilst the people were gathering, I withdrew about a quarter of a mile from the house, and wrestled with the Lord in prayer; and thought I could not meet the congregation, unless I was delivered from my inbred chains. However, after the people had waited about an hour, I went to the house, but my struggle seemed to be at the height. I thought I would pray with the people and dismiss them. After prayer my Lord gave me this text, Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God. Never had I such freedom before that time, to describe 1st. the impurity of the heart: 2dly. how it is to be purified: and 3dly. the blessing consequent thereon—That they shall see God. While I was speaking of the travail of a soul for purity, all my inward [Page 73]distress vanished; and I felt a little heaven on earth. I know that the Lord deepened his work; but I did not claim the witness; yet my soul was happy from day to day.
From this time I began to preach the doctrine of Christian perfection more than ever; the plan seemed as clear to me as the noon-day sun. And many were convinced of the need of it; and some were brought into the perfect liberty of God's children. * The word of our dear Lord prospered in the circuit; and some of the children of Belial were stirred up to persecute. One day a very wicked man came into the house while I was preaching; he [Page 74]supposed my discourse pointed at him; and stood for a considerable time, swelling and threatening in his heart that he would haul me down and beat me. But before the sermon was ended, he gave heed to the things delivered, and a spirit of conviction took hold of his heart; so that before he left the house he professed justifying faith; and I trust became a changed man.
I then went to the house of a Christian man, whose brother was a violent persecutor, and lived next door. Whilst I was a family prayer in the evening, he ran over with a loaded gun, and stood with it presented for a considerable time; but had not power to draw the trigger. A few days after, he was in a rage with his brother o [...] account of his receiving the preaching; shot at him, and slightly wounded his body. I was very thankful I escaped him.
In this circuit there was a blessed gathering for good; during my stay sinners were convinced and converted, and at the spring quarterly meeting we had some lively witnesses of perfect love; and others greatly moved to seek after that deep work of grace. Glory to God! I can say I had many blessed, happy moments while traversing [Page 75]the Virginia and Carolina forests, endeavouring to gather poor lost souls to my dear Redeemer's fold. And it did rejoice my heart to see them flocking after him.
I have often thought, that the consolations afforded me were an ample compensation for all the difficulties and trials I met with in wandering up and down through an ill-natured world. And I often reflect and bewail my backwardness, when I first entered so unwillingly as a laborer into my Lord's vineyard. But now, thanks to his dear name, I go willingly; and desire cheerfully to obey all his commandments, and do all the little good I can to promote his honor and glory.
In May, I left the people to whom I found myself closely united, and in whose sight the Lord gave me great favor; and set out for the Leesburgh conference.
SECTION V. My first regular Travels through the Peninsula, including the Delaware and Part of Maryland.
WE had a comfortable conference in Leesburgh, and May 20, 1778, I set out for my destined place. After preaching a few sermons, and visiting my old friends and relations, on the 30th of May I crossed the Chesapeak; and in the evening had a delightful opportunity of pressing the necessity of holiness on the minds of many. Blessed be God! there was a shout in the camp among our blessed Saviour's despised followers. And I have no doubt but that my Lord directed my lot into this part of the work.
On Sunday I spoke in Kent preachinghouse with much liberty; and we had a sweet, refreshing season. This was the first Methodist preaching-house that was built on this shore. In the evening I was much drawn out in prayer and self-examination; and felt the sweet beams of the blessed Spirit, and experienced the bliss of prayer, with a comfortable hope that my [Page 77]dear Lord had deepened his work of grace in my heart. Four preachers were appointed by conference for the Peninsula— Brothers H. L. C and myself. The enemy of souls had stirred up a great persecution against the Methodists. Brother H. was taken by the rulers, and put in confinement. Brother L. thought it his duty to return to Virginia. And poor brother C. was too unwell to travel much: so that for a considerable time I was left almost alone.
To human appearance our prospects were gloomy. In this place what was called a tory company embodied themselves, and a backsliding Methodist was at the head of them. It was soon circulated through the country that the Methodists were enemies to the American cause: and were embodying themselves to meet the English army. A short time before this, the English preachers had embarked for Europe; and the conduct of Mr. R. had been very injurious to the persecuted flock: so that the cloud which arose in the East, grew very dark. During this time, dear Mr. F. A. found an asylum at the house of good old judge W. and I believe none but the Lord and himself knew what he suffered [Page 78]for near twelve months. And we have since seen the hand of the Lord in his preservation and continuation among us. I am sure if the Lord had not been on our side, we should have been torn to pieces by our enemies. My exercises of mind were very great, and my friends in Kent, on every side, entreated me to stay among them; and not to travel at large at the hazard of my life. I was ready at first to consent, but had not staid more than a week among them, when my spirit was stirred within me, and I cried earnestly to the Lord to know his will. I felt an impulse to go; that he would stand by me, and defend my cause. And I received such a deep sense of God on my heart, and such precious promises of his parental care over me, that I took leave of my Kent friends, and set out without any dread of my worst enemies. I then travelled largely through the country, preaching once, twice, three, and sometimes four times a day, to listening multitudes bathed in tears.
I shall not soon forget the 24th of June, 1778. O what a wri [...]ing of hands among sinners, and crying for mercy! God's people praising him from a sense of his divine [Page 79]presence powerfully felt. O how did my heart rejoice in my dear Saviour! I went through Cecil and part of the Delaware state. A precious flame was kindled in many hearts, and many were brought to enquire what they should do to be saved. I visited Mr. F. A. at Mr. W.'s, and found him very unwell. I had a sweet opportunity of preaching at Mr. W.'s. After some agreeable conversation with Mr. F. A. I went on to Maryland, and had much liberty in preaching to our persecuted friends in Queen Ann.
In this place they threatened to imprison me; but as they did not take me in the public congregation, I concluded they did not intend to lay hands on me: however, the next day, as I was going to Kent, John B. met me on the road (he was formerly judge in that county.) When I came near him, he made a full stop as if he wanted something; apprehending nothing, I stopped and enquired the distance to Newtown: his reply was, You must go to gaol: and instantly took hold of my horse's bridle. I desired him in the Lord's name to take care what he was about to do: assuring him I was on the Lord's errand, and [Page 80]requesting him to shew his authority for his proceedings. With that, he alighted from his horse, and taking a large stick that lay in the way, for some time beat me with it over the head and shoulders. Not being far from his quarter, he called aloud for help. I saw several persons, as I thought, with a rope, running to his assistance. Providentially, at this moment he let go my bridle; had not this been the case, it is probable they would have put an end to my life: for the beasts of the field seemed to be in the utmost rage. I thought the way was now open for my escape; and being on an excellent horse, I gave him the whip, and got a considerable distance before he could mount; but he, knowing the way better than myself, took a nearer rout, and came in upon me with a full strain; and as he passed, struck at me with all his might; my horse immediately made a full stop, my saddle turned, and I fell with force upon the ground, with my face within an inch of a sharp log. The blows I had received, together with my fall and bruises, deprived me of my senses. Providentially, at this time, a woman passed by with a lancet. I was taken [Page 81]into a house not far distant, and bled; by which I was restored to my senses, but it was not expected I had many minutes to live. My affliction was good for me; and I can confidently say, nothing induced me to wish to stay any longer in this world, but the thirst I had for the salvation of my fellow-creatures. The heavens, in a very glorious manner, seemed to be open; and by faith I saw my dear Redeemer standing at the right-hand of the Father, pleading my cause; and the Father smiling, as reconciled to my poor soul.
I was so happy I could scarce contain myself. My enemy was walking to and fro, in great agitation, wishing he had not molested me. I had a heart to pray for him, and desired him to sit down by me and to read such and such chapters. He did so; I told him if he did not experience that blessed work he would surely go to hell. I said, if the Lord should take me away, I had a witness within me that I should go to heaven; and that I had suffered purely for the sake of our Lord's blessed gospel; and that I freely forgave him▪ and entreated him to seek the salvation of his soul, and never again persecute the followers [Page 82]of our Lord. The poor, unhappy man did not know which way to look. "I will take you in my carriage," said he, "wherever you want to go." When he perceived I was likely to recover, he went to a magistrate, who was nearly as bitter against us as himself, and brought him to me.
They both appeared as if the enemy was in them. With a stern look the magistrate demanded my name: I told him; and he took out his pen and ink, and began to write a mittimus to commit me to gaol. Pray, sir, said I, are you a justice of the peace? He replied he was: why then, said I, do you suffer men to behave in this manner? If such persons are not taken notice of, a stranger can with no degree of safety travel the road. "You have," said he, "broken the law." How do you know that? answered I; but suppose I have, was this the way to put the law in force against me? I am an inhabitant of, and have property in this state; and if I mistake not, the law says, for the first offence the sine is five pounds, and double for every offence after. The grand crime was preaching the gospel of our dear Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, in which I greatly rej [...]ice. My enemy, [Page 83]said I, conducted himself more like a highwayman, than a person enforcing a law in a Christian country. Be well assured, this matter will be brought to light, said I, in an awful eternity. He dropped his pen, and made no further attempt to send me to prison. By this time the woman who bled me, came with a carriage; and I found myself able to rise from my bed, and give an exhortation to the magistrate and my persecutor, and the others who were present.
I rode to the house of old brother D. and preached my dear Master's gospel, with much delight, in the evening, to a few despised disciples, as I sat in the bed, from these words, In me ye shall have peace, in the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world. John xvi. 33.
I can truly say, what I suffered was for my good, and I think it was rendered a blessing to the people around: for the work of the Lord was carried on in a blessed manner, and I met with very little persecution in that county afterwards. (Some time after I preached the funeral sermon of the wife of the above magistrate, and he was [Page 84]very much moved.) In the morning I awoke about four, and desired the friend of the house, if possible, to prepare a carriage for me by six; as I had a long way to go and to preach twice. But being disappointed in getting a conveyance; though scarce able to turn in my bed, by body being so bruised, I looked to the Lord for help, which was granted with sweet consolation. I mounted my horse about seven o'clock, and rode about fifteen miles, and preached at eleven o'clock. O! what a nearness I had to my dear Lord, while I held up a crucified Jesus to upwards of five hundred persons! My face bruised, scarred, and bedewed with tears! the people were for the most part much affected. I rode afterwards ten miles further, and preached to hundreds with great freedom. O! how sweet my dear Saviour was to me! I seemed as if I could have died for him.
After a few days respite, I went to the place where I was beaten, and found that the persecuting spirit had in a measure subsided; and that my way was surprisingly opened. I had many hearers, and the word was much blessed to many souls. The language of the hearts of many was, Surely this must be the right way.
[Page 85] The Lord was very kind to me in making a discovery, in a vision of the night, of the things I was to pass through; and they came to pass just as they were made known to me.
From Queen Ann's, I again travelled through the Delaware state, and had many blessed opportunities of inforcing the truth on the attentive multitudes that flocked together from various quarters. In the neighbourhood of Mr. S. the people had been deprived of the privilege of hearing for some time, and when I went among them, I found them hungering for the word. I preached from, Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners? Solomon's Song vi. 10. I was so wonderfully drawn out, and my spirit so taken up with divine things, that I almost thought myself in heaven; and many of the persecuted children of God seemed as if they would take wings and fly away. O! it was a great day for an awakening power! and the love-feast was remarkable for the sanctifying operations of the blessed Spirit. Many of our happy friends came from afar, and returned with their hearts all on fire [Page 86]for God. Many happy moments have I had among those loving followers of our dear Lord.
Sunday July 19, I visited and preached to the people of Mashey Hope. I was sorely tempted of the devil all the morning before preaching; he strove to destroy or weaken my faith. I was afraid I should not be a means of doing any good. I wept and mourned in secret at my dear Lord's feet, and sensibly felt the powers of darkness; and as if I never had a commission to preach the everlasting gospel. There was an unexpected congregation. And shortly after I stood up before the people, the devil and unbelief fled; and I gave out, How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation? Heb. i [...]. 3. The word ran through all the congregation, and there was a great shaking among the people. Among the rest, a woman was struck, and cried aloud for mercy, till she fell to the ground. Her husband was much offended, and I was informed that he threatened me, as he said, for killing his wife. After sermon I spent sometime in praying for, and comforting the distressed. In the afternoon, accompanied by many, I rode four miles, and preached, [Page 87]from Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground? and I found myself greatly at liberty. In this place a few months ago, the people were fast asleep, but now many are awaking up, and several united to Jesus.
After travelling and preaching with great freedom and success in the Delaware state, I was brought on my way in the heat of July to Talbot county, in Maryland, where I labored for about two weeks night and day with tears. Many souls were refreshed, and I thought it good for me to be there. Many sweet refreshing seasons had I among those dear loving people: I shall not soon forget those mothers in Israel, sister P. and sister B. who are now lodged in Abraham's bosom. They, I trust, lived and died witnesses of perfect love.
In this place the people, especially the society, were much alarmed, and stirred up by an uncommon voice, which was heard three evenings successively; and the last time several reputable persons were present. While they were at prayer, it exhorted them to pray mightily; and when one asked who it was, it replied, "I am a good spirit." The last time of its appearance, it seemed to be [Page 88]ascending. At the next quarterly-meeting, a man who was awakened by it, arose and spoke powerfully, and said, "Curiosity that day brought me out, but I was cut to the heart, and rested not till I found peace to my soul:" of this fact I entertain no doubts.
In August I left Talbot, and accompanied by several friends went to Kent Island. I preached frequently to a very gay high-minded people, with freedom. An admirable change for the better has since taken place in that island. From thence I attended the August quarterly-meeting in Kent, but had none to assist me except a few local speakers; but the Lord was powerfully present, both in public worship and at the love-feast. The hearts of many were glad, and I spake freely and feelingly of the goodness of God.
I cannot help thinking the circumstance I am going to relate very remarkable. One day after meeting, my brother John came up to me and shock hands; and looking me very wishfully in the face, without any caution said, "I shall never see you again in this world." And it was even so; for by the time I got round as far as Ce [...]l, [...] [Page 89]was taken very ill; and a few hours before I got to his house, he was interred on the East side of the preaching-house; where he bid me his last farewell, not more than two weeks before. He was my second spiritual son; and there was an uncommon intimacy between us. His dissolution was revealed to him a long time before he died. An eminent physician was with him the evening before his death and his wife speaking low to the doctor, enquired how soon he supposed he would die; he told her he apprehended he would not stay till the morning. He over-hearing them, said, "Doctor, I shall not go till eight o'clock in the morning." He was a leader of three classes, and beloved by all the people of God; and spent much of his time in the public and private exercises of religion. He had his senses perfectly in his last moments, and his exhortation which he gave was striking. After exhorting his wife and a brother who lived with him, to stand fast in the faith; and entreating the servant to love the Lord; in a very affecting manner he said, "Now there is but one thing which lies heavy on my mind, and that is, the case of two unconverted [Page 90]brothers. "Tell them," continued he, "from me, I never expect to see them in heaven" (they lived on the Western shore) "unless they repent, and turn to the Lord." This he said to my brother Richard. Not long after they heard the message, they sought and found the Lord. Thus were his prayers answered. At eight o'clock, as he said, he resigned his spirit to his God, a witness of perfect love.
In September 1778, I again returned to Delaware; and on the 5th for the first time, preached at Mr. W.'s in Muskmelon, a kind man who had been a Quaker. I had for several days suffered deep exercises of mind, especially while on my way to this place. The devil wanted to persuade me, the Lord was a hard master: and the whole Sabbath morning I was sorely tempted. This appointment was made for Mr. F. A. which caused my trial to be greater. At the meeting there were between five hundred and a thousand people; many of whom came out of curiosity. I preached under a large spreading tree; but the wind being high, I concluded to preach the second sermon in the house; but the house could not contain near half the people. I gave out, One [Page 91]thing I know, whereas I was blind now I see. Glory to God! Jesus makes use of clay, in this our day to open the eyes of the blind. While I was in the first place describing the blindness of the human mind, my dear Lord displayed his almighty power. There was a great weeping and mourning among poor sinners: I likewise felt much happiness, while describing the Lord's method in bringing sinners to himself, and in shewing the blessed privileges they enjoy. How many were convinced at this meeting, and how many converted, I will not undertake to say; but I believe the number of both was great. I shall take notice of one instance of the power of God at this meeting. A man noted for wickedness, came cursing and swearing (as he has since told me.) But under the first head of the discourse, his sins fell, as it were, with the weight of a millstone on him, and stared him in the face. "I would," said he, "have run out; but I was afraid to put one foot before the other, lest I should drop into hell, for the pit was disclosed to my view; and I saw no way to escape it: I thought every minute I should fall; but I held myself up by the chair. Oh!" said he, "under the second head of [Page 92]your discourse, while you were holding up Christ, I saw a beauty in him; and without any dependance on myself, I cast my soul on Jesus; and in a moment the burden fell, and my soul was happy; and I went home rejoicing in my Saviour." I knew him six years after, and had no cause to doubt the soundness of his conversion. Among the rest an officer was cut to the heart, and soon after threw up his commission; and became a pious follower of Christ. I do not think I ever saw a more powerful day in a new place. After meeting, the people all around were begging to have preaching at their houses. Among other places, I appointed to speak at Mr. L.'s whose heart the Lord had touched, he lived in Mother Kill; a place famed for wickedness. Previous to my entering this place, the Lord awakened a woman of distinction, by an earthquake; and she found peace to her soul shortly after I came to the place. And about a year after, she died a witness of perfect love. I preached at a variety of places all around, and the work of the Lord went on prosperously: many being brought into newness of life, we began to have a little heaven on earth.
[Page 93] When first I preached at Mr. L.'s, few came to hear; but the numbers gradually increased: souls were awakened, and I joined many to the society. In the second sermon, among others, a youth by the name of C. B. was awakened, and after a time became a light in the church of God. I preached at his father's, and the work of the Lord prospering, a large society was raised in that neighbourhood, which did honor to the cause of God!
I bless God for it, I had many hearts, hands, and houses, opened around me; and many enquired, "What shall I do to be saved?" The people about Mother Kill, were brought up Presbyterians, and their pastor strove by every means to keep them from the Methodists; but all in vain; they were convinced there was more in religion than a mere form. Multitudes gathered to hear the word, and many large societies were formed in different places.
September 12th, 1778, was the first day of my entering the town of Dover; a proverb for wickedness. I had desired for some time to attack this place, but had no opening, till an old gentleman came one day and heard me preach at Mr. S.'s: his heart [Page 94]was touched, and he gave me an invitation to preach in the academy. Scarcely had [...] alighted from my horse before I was surrounded by hundreds; some cried one thing, some another; some said, he is a good man, others said, nay, he deceiveth the people—and I was also accused of being a friend to King George. They cried, "He is one of Clowe's men—hang him— hang him." I know not what the event would have been, had not the Lord interposed. There were so many tongues going, and voices heard, that I had no possible chance to speak for myself; and to all human appearance, I was in a fair way to be torn in pieces every moment: I was, however, rescued by several gentlemen of the town, who hearing the uproar, ran to my assistance.
The chief of these were Mr. P. a merchant, who was formerly awakened under Mr. Whitefield, Mr. L. and the alderman of the town. The little Squire pressed through the croud, Zaccheus like, and taking me by the hand, led me through the mob, desiring me to preach and he would stand by me. I mounted the stage at the done of the academy; the people flocked [...], [Page 95]both within and without. And after singing and prayer, I gave out, If it bear fruit well, and if not, then after that, thou shalt cut it down. My dear Lord was with me of a truth. It was not difficult for me to speak, to be heard a quarter of a mile. Many who did not come to the place, heard me from their gardens and windows. We had much of the presence of the Lord with us. We rarely see such a weeping company in a new place. One woman was powerfully wrought upon, who sat in her window more than a quarter of a mile off. She knew no rest day nor night, till she found a resting place in her heart for the God of Jacob. It was thought by some of my Christian friends, who accompanied me, that very few of the extensive congregation were left without a witness in their hearts, of the truth of what was delivered: More than twenty got the word of truth so fastened, that they did not desire to lose it, and it terminated, I trust, in a sound conversion to the souls of many.
The mob hung their heads; many of them were affected, and their ringleader said, he would come and ask my pardon (so I was informed) if he thought I would [Page 96]forgive him; and I understood he betook himself from that day to reading the Bible; and never again persecuted the children of God—at least to my knowledge.
In the evening I lectured at Mr. S.'s, the old gentleman who had first given me an invitation to the town; many of the chief people of the place came to hear, and we had a very solemn time. When I withdrew to my room, I was severely buffetted by Satan. I felt as miserable as Jonah under his withered gourd: It was as though I had given all to the people, and had nothing left for myself. Ah! said the enemy, the Lord will make use of you for the good of others, and then cast you away, as a parent does a [...] rod after correcting the child. I was in such deep exercise, that I could scarcely close my eyes throughout the night, but passed the greater part of it away in sighs, and groans, and silence, before the Lord. I believe I was permitted to be thus tried in order to keep me at the feet of my dear Lord, and hope I shall be always thankful for his kind dealings with me.
Monday, September 13th, I preached a few miles out of town, accompanied by [Page 97]many, and the Lord was with us. In the afternoon I returned and found many mourning after Christ; but the devil and some of his adherents were striving to make them believe, that what I had told them was a delusion; but they were not successful. I joined those who were deeply awakened into a society; and the Lord was with them, spreading his work and converting the souls of many: among the rest there was an old lady stripped of her own righteousness, who had been a communicant in the church for many years; also ten of her children with their husbands and wives were brought under concern for their souls. I preached at her house, and sixteen or eighteen of her children and children in law were present. The old lady was mourning; but several of them the Lord had set at liberty; and before many months he visited the old lady with his forgiving love, as well as the most of her children. Such a family as this I have seldom seen in any part of America.
The fields appeared white for harvest; but the laborers were very few; and I was engaged in strong cries to the Lord, to open the way and send out more; and blessed be his name, it was so; for he raised [Page 98]up several young men, and sent others from the Western shore. I wrote to brother F. A. who was at Mr. W.'s, informing him how matters were, and that his way was open into any part of the state, and I requested him to make a visit to Dover: which he did, [...] brought in many whom I could not reach. The Lord gave us great favor in the fight of Dr. M. minister of the church, and he proved a great blessing to the cause of Method [...]m. The prejudices of the people began to fall astonishingly; and there was a great gathering to the connection from all quarters, and hundreds enabled to rejoice in the Kingdom of Grace.
The 19th of September, 1778, I attended the funeral of my brother, and a solemn season it was; my youngest brother was there from Baltimore, a wild youth, but the Lord laid his convincing hand upon him, and he returned a penitent mourner: he could stay but a few weeks till [...] returned to see me, and continued with [...] till the Lord set his soul at liberty.
Monday September 20th, as I was walking and meditating through the fields, I heard the cries of one on the top of a tree: and lifting up my eyes, I saw a man about [Page 99]taking his own life; a rope was tied to a limb with a noose in it, and the poor wretch bemoaning himself thus—"O what a wretch I am; once I had a day of grace, but now it is a gone case with me!—I may as well put an end to my wretched life!" He then made a motion to put the rope over his head, bidding the world farewell. I instantly called out to him, and told him to stop a few minutes while I conversed with him. He did; and after some time I persuaded him to give over his wicked intention, and come down from the tree. In the course of our conversation, I found the good Spirit had from time to time strove with him, and he had rejected the offers of mercy: till at length the arch-fiend persuaded hi [...] his day of grace was past; and that he had better know his doom as quick as possible. My being an instrument (to human appearance) of saving the life of a human being, as well as, perhaps, an immortal soul, was no [...] comfort to me.
Tuesday I rode as far as Queen Ann's, and found a very prosperous work going on. I was very comfortable in my dear Lord; and experienced it was sweet to wait o [...] him in secret. I found many hungering [Page 100]for the word, and had liberty in preaching.
Wednesday, September 22d, I awoke and arose early from my pillow, and felt a great nearness to the Lord, and had a sweet time in secret. I visited poor John W. a brother of the Dr. and sound him near death, in his sins. In his health he was a great persecutor; but now a penitent, be [...] ing the prayers of those he once despised. O! how did he warn his old companion to flee from their sins; and to take example by him. I was greatly affected with his situation, and did not find freedom to leave him in the arms of the devil. "O! cri [...] he, I am sleeping over hell!" I prayed with him frequently, and still it bore upon [...] mind, you must not leave him. I see [...] as if I had a travail of soul for this you [...] man: I retired into a secret place, [...] wrestled with the Lord for him, a long tim [...] and I thought the Lord would surely gra [...] him favor. I came to the house and called the family together again for prayer [...] several of them were happy in the Lord. And in time of prayer the Lord set his [...] at liberty; and I do not seem to [...] a doubt, but he went to rest.—O! [...] [Page 101] [...]essed thing it is in such a case, to have Christian friends!—He spake freely of the love of God which he felt in his soul, and his willingness to die. Numbers attended his funeral; and I preached a sermon, with much liberty, on I heard a voice from hea [...], saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the [...] which die in the Lord, from henceforth: you, saith the Spirit, for they rest from their [...], and their works do follow them, Rev. xiv. 13. Our dear Lord was present, and I trust measurably accompanied his word.
Individuals thought me an enthusiast, because I talked so much about feelings and impressions to go to particular places. I know the Spirit of God is the guide, and [...] word is the rule, and by it we are to [...] our dreams and feelings. I also know, [...] both sleeping and waking, things of a [...]ine nature have been revealed to me. O [...] night the state of the people in Somer [...] and Sussex counties seemed to be re [...]led to me. In idea I thought I had a [...]rge circuit formed; and the people gathering to the banner of our Lord. On Friday October 2 [...]d, I set out to go to that place in order to form a circuit; and on Sunday 24th arrived, and had an opportunity [Page 102]of preaching in a forest, to hundreds who gathered morning and afternoon, to hear the new doctrine: and suppose many of them expected to be greatly diverted▪ for they were a people who had neither the form nor power of godliness. My text was, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world, John i. 29. The first sermon was only preparatory to the second, which I preached, after a few minutes' intermission, from, And I saw the dead, both small and great, stand before God, and the books were opened, and another book was opened, which was the book of life, an [...] the dead were jud [...]d out of those things written in the books, according to their works, Rev. xx. 12. I was convinced my i [...] pressions in respect to this place, were [...] enthusiastical, for the power of God [...] a surprizing manner through the cong [...] tion; and there was weeping on e [...] side. I suppose that more than thirty w [...] powerfully wrought upon, and joined [...] society not long after. I had invitations [...] preach from various quarters, and the way prepared in the same manner in which the Lord had revealed it to me; and sinners stocked to Jesus. Some of the people [Page 103]among whom I went, appeared as familiar to me, as if I had been there frequently before. It seemed as if the Lord opened the way before me, step by step.
Monday September 25th, I preached a funeral sermon in the same neighbourhood; and the devil sent out a woman with a pistol or two to shoot me: and while I was preaching from, Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace, thereby good shall come unto thee, Job xxii. 21. she came in; and made so much noise that I stopped till they put her out and shut the door. O! how precious this season was to me! And the divine power was sensibly felt among the people. After the sermon many hung around me in tears, begging of me to pray for them, and likewise to visit them, and not to let the disturbance prevent my coming among them again.
The wife of Mr. N. a merchant in Salisbury, was powerfully awakened; and many others who came from a distance. This part of the world was famous for gambling and dancing; but as the word spread, these vices fell; until there was scarce a frolic heard of in Broad-creek. About this place I joined many broken-hearted [Page 104]sinners in society, and many became acquainted with the power of religion.
Saturday Nov. 7th, on my way to Talbot quarterly meeting, I preached at Mr. P [...]'s, and two very dressy young women, who came on a visit to their relations, were wounded, and I left them crying for mercy.
On Sunday Nov. 8th, quarterly meeting began. Brother P. preached a very useful sermon; and I found freedom to discourse on Solomon's chariot: the people were engaged and solemn.
Monday 9th, love-feast began in the morning, and it was a refreshing time. Many rejoiced in the Lord, and spake freely and feelingly of what God had done for them. After the love-feast I found great freedom to preach from, The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptation, 2 Peter ii. 9. and we had a time not soon to be forgotten among the children of God.
Tuesday Nov. 10th, I called again at Mr. P.'s, and found those young women dressed very plain, and under deep distress. In the evening I read and lectured on the [Page 105]16th of John, and the Lord was with us of a truth. The power of the Lord was sensibly felt, and his presence filled the room, where about fifteen of us were met for prayer. Brother H. my brother Richard (who had come from some distance to see me) and myself, continued in prayer, exclusive of the time we spent in singing and exhorting, from about eight o'clock till near two; and in that time five souls were set at liberty: the two young women of whom I have spoken, Dr. W. and his two sisters, who came from a distance to quarterly meeting. This was an extraordinary night to my poor heart, and to the souls of most present.
Wednesday Nov. 11th, greatly refreshed and strengthened. I set out again on my way to Somerset, and found my young disciples growing in grace, and increasing in number. In my way round, having an invitation from Mr. N. I preached in Salisbury, where the Lord began a blessed work; but the devil strove to stop it; for he raised up enemies against me, who sent the sheriff with a writ to take me to gaol. After he served it on me, he told me I must be confined. I told him, I was a servant [Page 106]of the Lord Jesus, and that if he laid a hand on me, it would be touching, as it were, the apple of his eye. He wa [...] afraid to injure me: and friends and enemies followed me to the next preaching-place. Many assembled from all quarters, and I preached from, Behold, ye despisers, and wonder and perish; for I work a work in your days, a work which ye shall in no wis [...] believe, though a man declare it unto you, Acts x. 41. It appeared to me as if the place was shaken by the power of the Lord; many of my enemies trembled like a leaf; I had faith to believe they had no power to stop me; and so it proved, for I went on my way rejoicing in God my Saviour. This day one soul was set at liberty.
I preached at a place called Quanti [...] and the same flame broke out there. The Lord raised a society, and many souls we [...] converted. Among others, old sister R [...] who was formerly a hearer of Mr. Whitefield: but the Lord raised her up as a pillar in our society; and she became a mother indeed to the preachers. This society was mostly composed of young people, who were as tender as lambs.
[Page 107] In April 1779, I was led still farther in the wilderness, to enlarge the circuit; and though I met with a variety of trials, and was severely buffeted by Satan; yet my Lord was with me daily. And although in those new places, I had none to converse with, at first, who knew the Lord; yet Jesus was sweet company to me in my retirements. And often the wilderness was my closet, where I had many sweet hours' converse with my dear Lord. Whose heart can help rejoicing to think of the kind condescensions of our blessed Lord!—to send his Son to die for man—to permit them to lean on his bosom—and to have such heavenly conversation with him! How blind must those deists be, who deny the second person in the ever blessed Trinity! O! that the eyes of all such may be opened, together with all that are enemies to their own souls!
Saturday April 3d, I preached at a place [...]led the Sound, for the first time, near the sea-shore, to about two hundred people. They had been as sheep without a shepherd; but I preached not without hope. There were several who are under the appellation of Baptists in this place; and one [Page 108]of their preachers who spoke after me, cried down Baby-sprinkling, as he called it. I requested the people to attend the next day at such a place, and I would preach o [...] the subject.
Sunday April the 4th, a number of people assembled and I preached from, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. He that believeth and is bapti [...] ed shall be saved; but he that believeth no [...] shall be damned, Mark xvi. 15.16. Ve [...] great attention was paid. And as they we [...] mostly Presbyterians and Church-men, a vindication of infant baptism was very agreeable to them. If it was of no other service it prepared their minds for what was to follow; for they knew not who or what [...] was. I told them that after a few min [...] intermission, I would preach again; I did from these words, If the righteous [...] be saved, where will the ungodly and the [...] ner appear? 1 Peter iv. 18. This day [...] not soon be forgotten—The work of t [...] Lord broke out. Though I continued mo [...] than three hours in the two sermons, th [...] people, after I concluded, appeared as if naised to their feats; for they did not seen [Page 109]as if they wished to move from the place; and weeping was on every side.
Monday April the 5th, I preached still nearer to the sea; and the same convincing power ran through the audience: some of them thought but little of walking ten or twelve miles to hear the word. I appointed a day to read and explain the rules of our society; and many came together. I preached with great freedom; and then opened the nature and design of our society; and desired the weeping flock that wished to join, to draw near and open their minds. I examined and admitted about thirty. But being weary, I declined taking [...]y more at that time. Weeping and [...]rning was heard on every side.
I went to a place some distance off, and [...]ched to a gazing company: and while [...] as speaking, a man started from his seat, [...]ing, "Sir, it is a shame for you to go [...] as you do; why, do you think you can [...]ake us believe your doctrine is true?" I [...]opt immediately, and desired him to point out wherein it was false. I conversed with him before the people, until [...]e asked my pardon; and was forty he had exposed [...] [Page 110]ignorance: and as he was a man of some note, it proved a blessing to the people.
I rejoyned again to the Sound, and preache [...] two, three, and frequently four times a [...]. And notwithstanding thi [...] they w [...] so hungry for the word, that m [...] ny would follow me to the house where [...] was to stay, enquiring, "What they sh [...] do to be saved?" The devil in this, [...] as other places, had his factors: one [...] of note set up a reading meeting in opp [...] sition to the society; but the power of Go [...] reached his heart, so that he gave it up an [...] joined the society. Several hired a clergy man of the church to come and preach [...] against us. He came once, and appointed to come again; but before the time, I [...] him on the road, and told him, I was [...] man against whom he preached in su [...] place. I asked him, if he had ever he [...] a Methodist? He told me he never ha [...] And after explaining to him our doctrin [...] and conversing with him more than [...] hour, he promised that he would never d [...] the like again, and confessed that he was led into it before by a few individuals: and his people could never after persuade him [Page 111]to preach against us, all the time he stayed among them.
In this neighbourhood I have preached to a thousand or fifteen hundred souls assembled together under the trees; and many were brought to experience justification by faith.
But my mind was amazingly exercised, and I believe the Lord permitted this affliction for the humiliation of my [...]. I was frequently afraid, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be a cast-away; and many hours I have spent in secret, weeping before the Lord. Sometimes I was tempted to think, I did more harm than good, and that the people, after a while, would be worse than ever; or that they were hypocrites. At other times, the cro [...] [...]as so heavy a little before I had to preach, that I was constrained, as it were, to cry out, The burden of the Lord! And at such particular times, I was sure to have a Happy meeting.
[Page 112] One day I was wandering through the wilderness in search of poor lost sheep, and called at several houses; but they did not want me. At length night came on; and I had been all day, at least from the morning, without any refreshment for myself or horse; and I got lost withal in a thick wilderness, called the Cyprus Swamp. The night was dark and rainy; and after wandering about for a considerable time, I concluded to take up my lodging as well as I could; for this purpose I stopped my horse; but before I got down, I espied a light, by following which I was led to a house, where I was most kindly entertained. I sat down, and found my soul very happy and thankful. The man of the house fixed his eyes upon me, and at last said, "What are you, or who are you; for [...] am sure I never saw such a man as you appear to be?" I told him, I was a follower of our blessed Saviour; and asked him, if he would join me in prayer? I then read the 7th chapter of Matthew, and lectured from it; and found great sweetness in prayer. After I withdrew to bed, the wife said to the husband, "That is a man of God; one whom the Lord hath sent to reform the world."— [Page 113]When I arose in the morning, he asked me to what place I was bound? and offered his service and company. I perceived that the Lord had reached his heart: and I now saw for what purpose the crook was in my lot the day before. I asked the woman, if she had a love for the Lord? she said, "Yes." I asked if she ever prayed? she replied, "I pray always." I asked if she knew her sins forgiven? she said, "she did not; but she knew that she should go to heaven when she died. And," said she, "I know that you are a servant of God; but you cannot teach me, for I understand all the scriptures, and I know what kind of death I am to die." After breakfast we got on our way, and as we rods, the man asked me, "What I thought of his wife?" I told him, she was a mystery to [...] "Why," said he, "some tim [...] [...] was taken in a kind of melanch [...] and no one knew what was the ma [...] [...] thirteen days, she would neither [...]at not drink, and frequently she would [...] the [...]cher and kiss it, but would not into a dr [...], till at length she became [...], [...] she betook herself to her bed [...] [...] day of her fasting, a number of [Page 114]people waited around, expecting to see the last of her: but all on a sudden she raised up, and said, "You thought that mine was a bodily disorder, but it was not. Now," said she, "I know that my maker loves me." They gave her food, and she eat as heartily as ever: and she has been in that serious way ever since." She appeared to be a very solemn woman, and I had a hope that the Lord had taken her into his favor.
On my return I called on him again, and conversed more fully with the woman, who continued to believe that m [...] could not teach her. I suppose the people in this part of the country, had scarce heard any kind of preaching, and knew no more about the new birth than the Indians. I met a man one day, and asked him if he was acq [...]sed with Jesus Christ? "Sir," said [...] I know not where the man lives."— Lost he should have misunderstood me, I repeated it again—and he answered, "I know not the man."
Glory to God! I preached in a [...] of places all through the wilderness; [...] many were convinced and brought to [...] knowledge of the truth. They [...] [Page 115]church, and the Lord raised up several able speakers among them. There was an amazing change both in the disposition and manners of the people. The wilderness and the solitary places began to bud, and blossom as the rose, and many hearts did leap for joy. Hundreds who were asleep in the arms of the wicked one, awoke, and were enquiring the way to Zion, with their faces thitherward.
As my brethren, in rotation, began to travel largely through this part of the work, I had an opportunity to visit the friends in various parts of Maryland; and found it good for me to be among old, established Christians. I had great freedom to preach a full salvation from all sin, and many were on full stretch for all the mind which was in Christ; while others were brought into the perfect liberty of the children of God. I knew what it was to be severely bu [...]ed by the enemy of my soul; but my [...] Lord bore me up under all my trials.
On the 1st of June, I returned [...] to the Su [...] circuit in Delaware; and [...] 6th I preached with great freedom at [...] m [...]s L.'s in the Fork, from Fri [...], [...] contest thon in hither, not having on [...]dding [Page 116]garment? Matt. xxii. 12. I rode six miles and met brother M. We held a watch-night, and I had much satisfaction in hearing several of the exhorters, and gave them notes of permission to speak.
Sunday, June 7th. I spent the morning in retirement, sorely tempted by the devil; and after I went to my appointed place, my mind was so bewildered, I thought there was not a text in all the Bible that I could speak from. I felt myself less than the least. At eleven o'clock there was such a number collected, that I was obliged to preach under the trees. I had been before the people but a few minutes, till the Lord blest me with great light, and the Bible seemed all plain to me. I am sure if I had held the Quaker principle, I should not have attempted to speak; but glory to God! it proved a day of days to many others as well as myself.
Whenever the Lord begins his work in any place, the devil and his children are sure to rise up against it. After preaching I set out for my afternoon's appointment, accompanied by about thirty, whose hearts the Lord had touched. I was pursued by a party of men who way-laid me, and the head of the company, with a gun presented, commanded [Page 117]me to stop. Several of the women who were with us surprised me; they were in an instant off their horses, and seizing hold of his gun, held it until I passed by. That same man was a penitent some time after, and became a member of the society. I went on and preached at old Mr. T—'s, to a large, attentive company, and united a prosperous society.
I am not surprised at the devil's rattling his chains, for his kingdom is coming down very fast. It appeared as if hundreds in the congregation were more or less wrought upon, and many appeared to be broken hearted. We could never get a society in this place till now. I know the day when the Lord began his work in the Fork; I preached from these words, And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torment; and intended, if I saw no fruit to leave them: but blessed be God, he visited the place [...] mercy, and the devil's kingdom is like to receive a wonderful shock.
Monday June 8th. Why does the evil one harass me in this manner? If possible, a legion of devils are around me I am attacked on all sides—sighting within and persecution without. I rode about eight miles, [Page 118]and the devil followed me all the way, and frequently told me, "You are a fool, and may as well go back;" and after I got there, he told me, "my journey would be fruitless." I withdrew and mourned before the Lord, and entreated him to grant that the devil might be disappointed; and so it was, for a large number attended at eleven o'clock, and we had much of the divine [...]efence. I spent a good portion of ti [...] after sermon was over, in reading and explaining the rules of the society.
Tuesday June 9, I preached at I. T.'s. My mind was greatly disturbed all the morning by the enemy of souls: so that I could not keep it fixed upon one thing for a minute at a time; which was a great grief to me. It is surprising that the devil should have power to carry the mind, in the manner he does, to the ends of the earth; but though he has power to tempt, he cannot force us to give way to the temptation; this must be with the concurrence of the will. We had a large gathering of the people here, and a solemn time.
Wednesday June 10th. What is the devil afraid of? Why does he chase me in this manner? I do not know that I have [Page 119]given way to sin, either inwardly or outwardly; and yet he tells me frequently, "my commission is run out, and that my labors never will be blessed again." I have had great struggling in my mind, to know my standing; not that I doubt my adoption into the family of heaven; but respecting my salvation from all inward sin. From this quarter have arisen my greatest fears for more than 12 months past. I know that my dear Lord has given me power to serve him, and that I love him supremely; but these are comprehensive words, to love the Lord with all the heart. My wishes have frequently gone up, desirous of a stronger assurance of this perfect love which casteth out fear. I have thought sometimes that I should doubt no more; but fearfulness hath kept me back.
This day I felt strangely: I was so burdened (not with guilt, blessed be God) that I could scarcely bear my own weight. None know what I mean, but such as have received a commission to deliver a message for the Lord. The prophet knew when he cried out, The burden of the Lord—Jonah knew something of it when he was called to go to Nineveh—and Jeremiah was well [Page 120]acquainted with exercises of this kind. It is a sweet thing to preach the gospel, but the cross is to be borne. I remember the words of St. John, who eat the little book; in his mouth it was sweet, but it made his belly bitter.
I crossed the river and went to my appointment, which was at I. M.'s on Broadcreek. The people assembled from all quarters; and many came out who were enemies to the way, and some from afar. I had scarce opened my mouth when my burden dropped off: and in an uncommon manner I was let into the Holy Scriptures; and the flame ran from heart to heart. I felt as though I had almost faith enough to remove mountains. One thing was noticed not only by my friends, but likewise by those who were enemies—There had been a great drought, so that the vegetable creation hung in mourning; and it was thought by many they would lose their crops, if it continued much longer. In a particular manner I was led to pray for rain; and a few minutes after the congregation was dismissed, the face of the sky was covered with blackness, and we had a plentiful shower; which greatly surprised [Page 121]and convinced the people. I was now happy enough to see the prosperity of the young converts. Wh [...] the Lord was plentifully watering the [...]th, I collected the family for prayer; and we had a great time of refreshing from the presence of the Lord. My soul was so happy while the Lord was uttering his voice in thunder, that it seemed as if I saw, by an eye of faith, the blessed Jesus and the glo [...]ed company around him, in exalted strains, singing and shouting his praise. And this flame continued with me till some time in the night, I then sweetly rested in the arms of my Lord.
Thursday June 11th, I preached to a poor people. Some who came from a distance thought I pointed my discourse at them. Thursday was a very solemn day of fasting. I have noticed that the evil one is more spiteful on my fast-days than at other times. But I feel there is a necessity of keeping my body under, lest after preaching to others I should be a castaway. My public labors this day, as I was among a curious people, were to reconcile [...] seeming contradictions in scripture. After I had done, I was warmly opposed [Page 122]by an enemy to the cross of Christ. I visited one of the spiritual children of Mr. Whitefield, on her death-bed; and I trust her soul was happy in the Lord.
In the evening I met and examined a large society, and we had a comfortable time. I had a sweet night's rest, and awoke at my usual hour with a happy mind, and prayed earnestly to the Lord, to grant that every moment of my life might be given to him.
I rode to Quantico to visit the young lambs. I expected that the Lord intended to do something for them, for the devil pursued me all the way even till I got to the place. An unexpected congregation assembled in the afternoon, and the Lord was with us of a truth. Several were set at liberty; and the cries of the distressed were heard—Sweet Jesus, thou art lovely to my soul!—O Jesus! thou hast overcome me with thy looks, and the kisses of thy lips! I sound great freedom in meeting the society, and in the morning I met them again, and a precious time [...] had.
Sunday June the 14th. I felt this morning as if the Lord intended to do [...] things for the people. I spent the morning [Page 123]in wrestling with the Lord for a blessing on my labors. I preached at old brother R.'s at eleven o'clock: the old judge, who came as a hearer, gave great attention; and we had a melting time. I rode ten miles to Salisbury; when I came in, the man of the house took me into a room; and told me I had better leave the town immediately; for a mob was waiting, and intended to send me to gaol; "They came to my house last night," said he, "expecting to find you here; but when they found you not, they laid hold on me, and dragging me down the chamber-stairs, hauled me along the street till my arms were as black as ink from my wrists to my shoulders; and I know not what would have been the consequence, if I had not been rescued by a magistrate." This mob was made up of what they call the first people in the county. I told my informer that I had come to preach my dear Master's gospel, and that I was not afraid to trust him [...] body and soul. Many came out to hear me; I understood the mob sent [...] of their company to give information [...] the [...] convenient time to take [...] While I was declaring, The Lord know [...] [Page 124]how to deliver the godly out of temptation, and reserve the wicked to the day of judgment to be punished, the heart of the spy, who sat close by me, was touched, and tears plentifully ran down his face. After service he returned to his company, and told them I had preached the truth, and if they laid a hand on me he would put the law in force against them. They withdrew to their homes, without making the slightest attempt upon me. O, who would not confide in so good a God! After our blessed meeting was over, I rode three miles and had a pleasant time with a few of my friends. Glory be to God! he is carrying on a gracious work about this place. All this week I spent in preaching and visiting the young societies.
Sunday June 21, I was to preach at the Sound. In the morning I intended meeting the society at eight o'clock; but such a crowd gathered that I declined it; and preached a sermon. At twelve about 1500 gathered, and the Lord made bare his arm under the spreading trees. After a short intermission, I preached another sermon: and it seemed as if the whole country would turn to the Lord. While [Page 125]preaching I was so wonderfully drawn out, that it appeared to me as though I saw our blessed Saviour working prosperously thro' the assembly. Weeping was on every side. I spent a week in the neighbourhood preaching several times a day, besides visiting and conversing with the distressed. I believe this work was greatly hindered by the Baptists, who came among the people and drew off a few; and set others to disputing about the decrees, and their method of baptizing.
Sunday June 28th, when I came to brother W.'s in Muskmelon, I found that a Nicolite preacher had been sowing his feed in the young society, and endeavouring to destroy the new-born children. He told them, "It was a sin to wear any kind of clothing that was colored; and that they ought never to pray but when they had an immediate impulse, and that it was wrong to sing." Many people came together, but I perceived a considerable alteration; for some would not sing at all, and others sat both in time of singing and prayer. Some had taken off the borders of their caps, and condemned those who would not do a [...] they had done; in short, some of my own spiritual [Page 126]children would scarcely hear me, because I wore a black coat. I gave out my text, The kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost, Rom. xiv. 17. My dear Lord made bare his arm, and humbled me among them; and there was a shaking, convincing power. After sermon was ended, I met the society and excluded the leader and one or two more; those that remained took a fresh start, and grew more than ever. I spent the week in Mother Kill, and several other places, and was greatly comforted among the growing societies.
Sunday July 5th, I preached in Dover a little after sun-rise, then rode four miles and preached at brother B.'s at nine, to hundreds who stood and sat under the trees for want of room in the house from Behold a sower went forth to s [...]w, Ma [...]t. xiii. 3. I was in my element, and we had a great display of the power of the Lord. Many about this place are enquiring, What shall I do to be saved? I rode on six miles and preached at one o'clock to a listening multitude, under the trees in Mother Kill. O how good my dear Lord was to my soul! [Page 127]It was little trouble to me to preach, for the scripture seemed all open. I rode five miles and preached in Muskmelon again at [...]her W.'s, and had, I think, more free [...] than at either of the other places. At [...] last sermon there was a Quaker preach— [...] present, and after meeting was ended he told a person, that I "spake by the Spirit, if ever man did." The person said, i [...] was my fourth sermon that day—he then altered his mind, and replied, "If that was the case, I was a deceiver; for it was nothing but will-worship." This day I stood upwards of six hours in the four sermons, and concluded about sun-set. My spirit was so united to my Jesus, and so transported, that I searcely felt the satigues of the day; and the only sustenance I had taken was a little milk and water. I have seldom seen a greater day than this: I do not know but I may say thousands are flocking to Jesus. There is a childish fondness in these people, and I feel unwilling to leave them; but the will of the Lord be done.
Monday July the 6th. Having it on my mind, I set out to make an inroad through the Delaware state, where I had never been: I had appointed a friend, who had given [Page 128]me an invitation to Lewis-Town, to me [...] me at such a time, and conduct me throug [...] the country; so that numbers had kno [...] ledge of my intention to pass that way. [...] along the road many were standing at th [...] doors and windows gazing, and I co [...] hear some of them say, as I passed, "Th [...] he is;" "O," said another, "he is like another man." I rode about 30 miles and got to my appointment about three; about four o'clock I began, and shortly after I gave out the text, I. W. brother to the man at whose house I was to preach, ca [...] to the door with a gun and a drum, and several other utensils, and after beating [...] old drum a while, he took the gun, [...] was dodging about as though he was taking aim to shoot me: this greatly terrified th [...] women, so that there was nothing but confusion. I then stopped, and withdrew [...] a private room. Soon after the town squire and several other magistrates came, and among the rest the Presbyterian minister. The town-squire commanded him to depart immediately to his own house, or behave himself, otherwise he would sen [...] him to gaol. We now had peace, and I, found great freedom to finish my sermon [...] [Page 129]I have no doubt but the Lord began his work. The minister told some of the people afterwards, that I held out nineteen [...]. The town-squire told me the court [...] was at my service, and I should be [...]ome to his house. I was sensible of the [...]er of the devil, for his temptations were [...]erful; he strove to raise a party against me, and to banish me from the place. I preached in and about the town day and [...]ght, and the Lord owned his word.
Wednesday 8. My old enemy W—f [...]y nature and name, set on by a few others, came into the court-house while I was [...]reaching, not with a gun and a drum, but with fire which he put in the chimney, and [...]en began to heap on wood, though the [...]y was exceeding warm—finding that this [...]id not disturb me, he brought in a bell, [...]d rang it loudly through the house. I [...]pped and enquired if any would open a [...]ge private room. Many were offered, and I withdrew and finished my [...]rmon at the house of a kind widow woman. In spite of all the opposition, the word found the way to the hearts of the hearers, and many clave to me; and though [...] tempted of the devil and persecuted [...] [Page 130]many of his votaries, my heart was [...] the Lord; and many were the sweet [...] ments I had in secret.
Sunday, July 12th, my appointme [...] were at nine in the morning and thr [...] the afternoon, that I might not inte [...] with the hours of the church. The co [...] house was crowded at nine, and a [...] pleasant time I had. In the morning [...] rained, so that Mr. — did not ma [...] his appearance, and as the people were waiting, the Squire said I had better be [...] my second sermon. Just as I began, he [...] rived, and waited till I was nearly done; [...] then the bell rang over my head for church [...] but the people would not move until I co [...] cluded; after which we all went [...] church; but his pulpit and that of Mr. [...] rang against me and all such run-about [...] lows. His having the bell rung over [...] head much offended not only those [...] were my friends, but many of his [...] The more they preached and spoke again [...] me, the more earnestly did the people search their Bibles to know whether the [...] things were so.
I [...] a few miles [...] the [...] [...]ide of a river [...] and [...] [Page 131]declared, if I went there they would drown me. I went and found a large concourse of people; and preached with much free [...]; but no man assaulted me. I had five [...]des to my afternoon's appointment; and [...]hen I had got two miles on my way I looked behind and saw a man, drest like a soldier, riding full speed, with a great club or stick in his hand. I now found it necessary to exercise my faith. When he came up to me, he reached out his hand, saying, ‘Mr. Garrettson, how do you do? I heard you preach at such a time; and believe your doctrine to be true; I heard you was to be abused at the river to-day, and I equipt myself as you see me, and have rode twenty miles in your defence, and will go with you if it is a thousand miles, and see who dare lay a hand upon you.’ Friend, said I, the scripture tells us, that vengeance belongs to God, and not to man. "Very true, sir," said he, "but I think I should be justifiable in so glorious a cause." I tra [...]lled and preached all through the forest, and the Lord enlarged my heart, and gave me many precious souls; for numbers were [...] to anquire after Re [...]igion.
[Page 132] Saturday July 18, I went to the For [...] accompanied by my dear old friends brother and sister W. And on July 19, I preached again in the open air to many hundreds; and found that the work of the Lord was still going on. In the afternoon I preached to almost as many at old Mr. T.'s. His daughter Rebecca is a very happy young woman. A few months sinoe she was in the height of the fashion, but now sees the evil and folly of these things.
Monday July 20, I went to preach at a house by the river, on the edge of Dorset county; here here Lord had greatly weakened Satan's kingdom. I preached at the door to abundantly more than could get into the house. I was so surprisingly drawn out, and the people so engaged, that I could not conclude under two or three hours. From the looks of the people, I should not have thought I had an enemy in the congregation. After sermon, being much spent, I withdrew. Shortly after a person came to me and said, "two men wanted to see me." I told him to desire them to walk up, thinking they were persons in distress, and wanted instruction; but when I saw them, I discovered wickedness in their very looks. [Page 133]One of them was a magistrate, and he was a Churchman; the other was a Presbyterian, and he was a disputant. The magistrate brought him out in order to confute me in points of religion: and then his intention was to send me to prison. I defired them to sit down, and the disputant began; he said but a few words until I asked him if his soul was converted to God? I charge you, said I, in the presence of him before whom we shall shortly stand, tell me, is you soul converted to God? Do you know that your peace is made with God? He was struck, and knew not what to say; but at last he said, "I do not know that I am." Then, replied I, you are in the way to hell. And I began to exhort him to repent, and turn to the Lord. I think I never saw a man so confused in my life. He made attemp [...] [...] scripture, but could get hold of [...]. The [...] strate seeing in what a [...] his [...] tant was, in a rage said, "Sir, do you know the laws of the state? You have [...] taken the oath, and you have broken the law by preaching; you must go to [...]. I bless God, said I, that I am [...] of a g [...]l.—They withdrew, and after I had [Page 134]eaten dinner, I mounted my horse and set out to attend my afternoon's appointment; but a sheriff met me a few rods from the house, and commanded me to stop. Many of my friends gathered around me, and offered to be security for my appearance at court; but I told them I would give no security. I had faith to believe that he had not power, or at least would not be permitted to stop me. I looked him in the face, and said, I am going on the Lord's errand, and if you have power, here I am, take me; but remember, that the God against whom you are fighting, who made yonder sun, is just now looking down upon you; and I know not but that he will crush you to the earth, if you persist in fighting so furiously against him. I am now on my way to Philadelphia, to preach the glorious gospel of my Redeemer; and the consequence of your stopping me in this manner will be rueful. After conversing with him a few minutes, I perceived his countenance fall, and he said, "It is a pity to stop you [...]" and so turned his back upon me. I went rejoicing on my way, accompanied by many of my kind friends, some of whom wer [...] weary and heavy laden; and had an opportunity [Page 135]in the afternoon to inculcate precious truths on as many people as could crowd into a large house standing by the riverside.
After attending several quarterly meetings, where we had a very large number of people, and great displays of the power of convincing and converting grace, I pursued my journey to Philadelphia, accompanied by several of my friends from that city. In my way I preached at Mr. S.'s, in Queen Anu's: and after preaching, to get clear of a mob which they expected would surround the house (for there were many violent opposers in this part of the county) I rode accompanied by a tender friend, the best part of the night, and got into another county. The next day my friends met me: we then went on together and arrived-safe in [...].
SECTION VI. An Account of a few Months spent in Pennsylvania and the Jerseys.
DURING my stay in the Peninsula, on this visit, which was about fifteen months, several new circuits were formed; hundreds entered in the society; a great reformation had taken place; great numbers were really and powerfully converted to God; and several preachers raised. I suppose in this time I preached in more than a hundred new places, where my dear Lord began a glorious work. All manner of evil was said of me by the wicked; but blessed be God for the answer of a good conscience, and a heart united to my dear Saviour; and for the friendship and good wishes of thousands, whose hearts were touched under the word.
I staid about two months in Philadelphia, and as it was shortly after the British troops left that city, there was much confusion in the society, as well as among the people at large: I met with a variety of trials, and saw very little fruit of my labors. But many of our dear friends were near, [Page 137]dear, and precious to me: and frequently since that time I have had a great desire to spend a few months in that city.
I bless and praise my dear Lord, for the prosperous journey he gave me through the Jerseys: several were awakened, and some brought to know Jesus. One day, after preaching, an old man came to me and said, all in tears, "This day I am an hundred and one years old, and this is my spiritual birth-day." The dear man's soul was so exceedingly happy, that he appeared to be ready to take his slight to heaven.
I preached at a new place, where the congregation consisted mostly of young people, from, The Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost, Luke xix. 10. We had a wonderful display of the power of the Lord. After I had finished, the young people hung around each other crying for mercy; and I believe many will praise the Lord eternally for [...] day. A remarkable circumstance hap [...] ed respecting a young woman, who [...] brought up in the Quaker persuasion. [...] pleased the Lord to awaken her when very young, without preaching; she experienced the pardoning love of God, [...] continued [Page 138]happy for some time; till by degrees she got off her watch, having none to strengthen, but many to draw her away. She at length fell from God, and became as wild and trifling as ever. Soon after this she was entirely deprived of her speech; and the enemy of her soul persuaded her to believe, it was a sin for her to do any kind of work, or even to dress herself; and if they gave her a book to read she thought it sinful to turn over a leaf, and would read no more, unless some one would do this office for her. It was impressed on her mind that there was a people in such a place, that served the Lord; and if she could get among them, they would be a blessing to her; and she would be restored to her speech. She had never heard of a Methodist; and the place which was revealed to her was near twenty miles off, where there was a young, loving society. Though she knew nothing of the way, she set off to find that place and people. Her family missing her, pursued and brought her back. Not long after she made a more successful sittempt, and found the society. The Lord revealed her case to them. There was a preacher present, Mr. D. R. who being [Page 139]agreed, they called a meeting, and cried to the Lord in her behalf that day and the next; she then went into a private room, kneeled down to prayer, and continued therein till the Lord blessed her soul. At the same time her tongue was loosened, and she could speak forth the praises of Israel's God. She had been dumb about two years. Some time after, I came into this neighbourhood and sent word to her mother, I would preach such a day at her house. When the day arrived, I took the young woman home, accompanied by many friends, and we were received like angels: some thought the Methodists could work miracles. Many of the friends and neighbours came, and could not but observe how angelic this young woman appeared to be; who was now able to speak and work as well as usual. I bless the Lord who gave me great freedom in preaching on this remarkable occasion. The people seemed to believe every word which was delivered: and a precious, sweet season it was. The old lady was ready to take [...] in [...] arms, being so happy, and so well satisfied with respect to her daughter.
SECTION VII. An Account of my Travels after I was released from Prison.
AFTER preaching in a variety of places in the Jerseys and Pennsylvania, with great freedom; in the fail I returned to the Peninsula (which was my second visit) and we had a blessed quarterly meeting at Mr. W.'s I travelled largely through this country all the winter; and many were gathered into the fold. I would say something here of the beginning and progress of the work of God in Dorset county—a place where they were generally of the church of England; and universally enemies to the life and power of religion. The work began by the means of a young woman who was niece to, and some times lived with judge E. of Dorset: her sister was wife to the honorable Mr. B. I am not certain whether it was on a visit to Queen Ann's or Dover, that she fell in with the Methodists, by whose means she was convinced and con [...]erted; and afterwards became a pious follower of the blessed Jesus. When she returned to her uncle's in Dorset, they began [Page 141]to think she was beside herself; however, the Lord blessed her endeavours in favor of her sister Polly, and a few others. Her fister was soon set at liberty in a powerful manner, and had as great a zeal for God as her sister Catharine. Shortly after, their sister B. became as blessed a woman as ever I saw; and I have not a doubt but that she lived and died a bright witness of sanctification. Mr. B. was brought into the faith, with two young lawyers who were studying under him, and several others of the family; who were the fruits of the labors of these pious, I may say, blessed women. To return; some time after Mary's conversion, she went to visit H. A. Esq who was a relation of hers. As he was a man of fashion, and an entire stranger to Inward religion, he was much asraid she would drive his wife out of her senses. He undertook to shew his visitor that the Methodists were not in the right way; and for this p [...]rpose he chose an old book written by a Puritan divine, an hundred and fifty years ago: but he had not read many minutes before conviction seized [...]m, and the [...] from his eyes. He withdrew and read, till be thought he must go among the Methodists [Page 142]with his book, and compare it with theirs. He did so, and found the Methodist publications to agree in substance with that. On this occasion I first met with him at Mr. W.'s. After he had labored some time under distress of soul, the Lord gave him rest—he [...] he burden of guilt removed— and now expressed an anxious desire that I should come to the county where he resided, being determined to stand by the cause as long as he lived.
Thursday Feb. 10th, 1780, I arose very early in the morning, and addressed the throne of grace. My dear Master wonderfully refreshed my soul, and I felt a willingness to suffer any thing, whatever the Lord might permit to come upon me, for his work's stake. I opened my mind to Mr. F. A. who was at Mr. W.'s, and he seemed very desirous I should accept the invitation. He then commended me to the Lord in prayer, and I set out in good spirits with a strong hope that good would be done. The first day I got half way, and had a comfortable night. February 11th was a day of deep exercise. Are others distressed in the way that I have been? I travelled on seepingly with the weight of a mill-stone. I [Page 143] [...] bitterly as I passed along, and several [...]es stopped my horse, intending to turn back, but was still urged on my way. I got to my dear friend Mr. A.'s, some time before night; and the burden which I felt all the way, left me at his door. The dismission of it was perceptible, for my spirit did rejoice in God my Saviour. I was conducted into a private room, where the Lord let me know that I was in the very place he would have me to be.
In the evening the family were gathered together for prayer: I shall never forget the time: I suppose about twelve white and black were present. The power of the Lord came among us: Mrs. A. was so silled with the new wine of Christ's kingdom, that she sunk to the floor, blessing and praising the Lord. And many of the blacks were much wrought upon. This night was a time of great refreshment to me.
Saturday 12. About thirty of the neighbours were called together; and the word seemed to melt their hearts. I had not the least doubt, but the Lord had called me to this place.
Sunday 13. Near an hundred gathered: the field, though in the winter, seemed [...] [Page 144]for harvest; and my gracious God wrong [...] wonderfully in the hearts of the people; [...] that some who were enemies before acknowledged it to be the truth.
Monday the 14th, accompanied by my friend, I went to the other part of the county. The field is ripe. One man was deeply affected only by seeing us. I preached at colonel V.'s, a clever man, who afterwards became a great friend to us and himself too.—The fields are white for harvest— The devil is angry—The wicked rage, and invent lies and mischief. The county court was sitting, and some of the heads of it were determined, by some means or other, to clear the place of such a troublesome fellow. For a cloak they charged me with toryism: and I was informed, gave a very wicked man leave, and promised to bear him out, in taking my life; and for this purpose he was to lay in wait for me the next day. It providentially reached my ears that night before I went to bed, and as the wicked seemed thus inclined, I [...]hought it expedient to withdraw to Mr. A.'s, where I staid two days; but being pressed in spirit, I could stay no longer; I went to another part of the county. Many came ou [...] [Page 145] [...]ear, and the word was still attended [...] power; for they began to enquire the way to heaven.
I had a most remarkable vision of the night. And in that vision it was revealed to me what I was to suffer; and that the Lord would stand by me, so that my enemies should not injure me. Hundreds flocked out to hear the word; on one side sinners were enquiring what they should do to be saved; and those on the other side; how they should manage in order to banish me from the place.
Monday 21. I had great satisfaction in reading a piece that treated on the human soul.—I had much freedom in the word in public, and a blessed family meeting at my good friend A.'s; but sorely tempted of the devil. Shortly after (shall I speak the [...]? I will without the fear of man though these things may appear strange to some [...]) I went to bed, the devil made his a [...] ance upon it: first he felt like a [...] then got hold of my pillow: I how b [...] ed it to be the fiend, and was not [...] ed; I took hold of the pillow, and [...] pulled at it; I cried out, get behind me, Sa [...]. And immediately he vanished. I [Page 146]went down stairs in the morning, intending not to speak of what had past: but brother A. enquired if I had been down in the night; I told him I had not; "why," said he, "shortly after you went up, I came into the hall, and was at prayer, when I heard some one walk down stairs, and seemed to be standing at the door: as I knew there was none above but yourself, I concluded it must be you that wished to go out; I therefore went and opened the door, but saw no body, and certainly it was the devil." This was about the precise time he left my bed. Poor devil, you are afraid of your kingdom. I then mentioned what had past in my chamber. The little daughter was under some concern of soul, and getting up one night, awoke her parents, and told them she was afraid the devil would carry her away. The soul spirit was wonderfully roused, and very bitter against this dear family.
February 24, I had a sweet and powerful time. After I went to rest I was strangely exercised in my sleep: I thought I saw an innocent creature chased almost to death, by a company of dreadful beings; after a while I saw a cloud about the size of [...] [Page 147]hand rising in the West, which grew blacker and darker, till it appeared to cover the earth: I thought now, most surely the world is to be at an end. I saw after a while those cruel beings turn pale as death. I saw a person come up to the innocent creature, which they were chasing, and receive it. I awoke rejoicing, but knew not how to interpret this dream.
Saturday 25, my spirit was solemn and weighty: expecting something uncommon would turn up. I withdrew to the woods, and spent much time before the Lord. I preached with freedom to a weeping flock, my friend A. accompanying me to the place. In the evening we were repairing to his house, being about to preach there the next day; but a parcel of men embodied themselves and way-laid me, with an intention to take me to gaol. About sun-set they surrounded us, and called me their prisoner. They beat my horse, cursed and swore, but did not strike me. Some time after night they took me to a magistrate who was as much my enemy as any of them. When I was judged, and condemned for preaching the gospel, the keeper of the peace, who sat [...] his great chair, immediately wrote a mittimus [Page 148]and ordered me to gaol. I asked him if he had never heard of an affair in Talbot county. Brother I. H. was committed to gaol for the same crime, that of preaching the gospel: soon after the magistrate was taken sick unto death, and sent for this same preacher out of confinement to pray for him. He then made this confession, "When I sent you to gaol," said he, "I was fighting against God, and now I am about to leave the world, pray for me." His family were called in, and he said to his wife, "This is a servant of God: and when I die, I request he may preach at my funeral. You need not think I have not my senses; this is the true faith." He then gave brother I. H. charge of his family, and desired them to embrace that profession. Now, said I, I beseech you to think [...]riously of what you have done, and prepare to meet God. Be you assured, I am not ashamed of the cross of Christ, for I con [...] it as an honor to be imprisoned for the gospel of my dear Lord. My horse was brought, and about twelve of the company were to attend me to gaol. They were all around me; and two, one on each side, holding my horse's bridle. The night was [Page 149]very dark; and before we got a mile from the house, on a sudden there was a very uncommon flash of lightning, and in less than a minute all my fo [...]s were dispersed: my friend A. was a little before the company. How, or where, I know not, but I was left alone. I was reminded of that place of scripture, where our dear Lord's enemies fell to the ground, and then, this portion of scripture came to me, Stand still, and see the salvation of God. It was a very dark cloudy night, and had rained a little. I sat on my horse alone, and though I called several times, there was no answer. I went on, but had not got far before I met my friend Mr. A. returning to look for me. He had accompanied me throughout the whole of this affair. We rode on talking of the goodness of God, till we came to a little cottage by the road side, where we found two of my guards almost scared out of their wits. I told them if I was to go to gaol that night, we ought to be on our way, for it was getting late.— "O! no," said one of them, "let us stay until the morning." My friend and I rode on, and it was not long, [...]re we had a beautiful clear night. We had not rode far, [Page 150]before the company had gathered, from whence I know not. However, they appeared to be amazingly intimidated, and the foreman of the company rode along side of me, and said, "Sir, do you think the affair happened on our account?" I told him, that I would have him to judge for himself; reminding him of the awfulness of the day of judgment, and the necessity there was of preparing to meet the judge of the whole earth. One of the company swore an oath, and another immediately reproved him, saying, "How can you swear at such a time as this?" At length the company stopt, and one said, "We had better give him up for the present;" so they turned their horses and went back. My friend and I pursued our way. True it is, The wicked are like the troubled sea, whose water casts up mire and dirt. We had not gone far before they pursued us again, and said '"We cannot give him up." They accompanied us a few minutes, and again left us, and we saw no more of them that night. A little before midnight we got safe to my friend's house. And blessed be God, the dear waiting family were looking [...] and received us with joy. And a precious [Page 151]sweet family-meeting we had▪ I retired to my room as humble as a little child, praising my dear Deliverer.
During the remaining part of the night, though dead in sleep, I was transported with the visions which passed through my mind. And had a confidence in the morning, that my beloved Lord would support me. I saw in the visions of the night, many sharp and terrible weapons formed against me; but none could penetrate, or hu [...]e; for as soon as they came near me they were tur [...] ed into feathers, and brushed by me as soft as down.
Sunday 27th, at eleven o'clock many came out to hear the word, and it was expected my enemies would be upon me▪ and I was informed, not a few brought short clubs under their coats, to defend me in case of an attack; for many had just about religion enough to fight for it. As I was riving out the hymn, standing between the hall and room doors, about twenty of my persec [...]ors came up in a body (I was amazed to see one of them, who was an old man, and his head as white as a sh [...] these were under the appellation of gen [...] [...]. The ringleader rushed forward, with [Page 152]a pistol presented, and laid hold of me, putting the pistol to my breast. Blessed be God! my confidence was so strong in him, that this was with me, as well as all their other weapons, like feathers, as was represented to me in the vision of the night. Some of the audience, who stood next to me, gave me a sudden jerk; I was presently in the room, and the door shut. As soon as I could I opened it, and beckoning to my friends, desired that they would not injure my enemies; that I did not want to keep from them, but was willing to go to gaol. If I had not spoke in this manner, I believe much blood would have been shed. I began to exhort, and almost the whole congregation were in tears; and in a particular manner the women were amazingly agitated. I desired my horse to be got, and I was accompanied to Cambridge, where I was kept in a tavern from twelve o'clock till near sun-set, surrounded by the wicked; and it was a great mercy of God that my life was preserved.
A little before night I was thrust into prison, and my enemies took away the key, that none might administer to my necessities. I had a dirty floor for my bed, my [Page 153]saddle-bags for my pillow, and two large windows open with a cold East wind blowing upon me: but I had great consolation in my dear Lord, and could say, "Thy will be done." During my confinement here, I was much drawn out in prayer, reading, writing, and meditation. I believe I had the prayers of my good friend Mr. F. Asbury: and the book which he sent me (Mr. Rutherford's letters during his confinement) together with the soul-comforting and strengthening letters which I received from my pious friends, was rendered a great blessing to me. The Lord was remarkably good to me, so that I experienced a prison to be a mere paradise; and I had a heart to pray for and wish my worst enemies well. My soul was so exceedingly happy, I scarce knew how my days and nights passed away. The bible was never sweeter to me. I never had a greater love to God's dear children. I never saw myself more unworthy. I never saw a greater beauty in the cross of my dear Lord; for I thought I could, if required, go cheerfully to the stake in so good a cause. I was not at all surprised at the cheerfulness of the ancient martyrs, who were able in the flames [Page 154]to clap their glad hands. Sweet moments I had with my dear friends who came to the prison window.
Many, both friends and strangers, came to visit me from far and near, and I really believe I never was the means of doing more good for the time: for the county seemed to be much alarmed, and the Methodists among whom I had labored, were much stirred up to pray: for I had written many epistles to the brethren. I shall never forget the kindness I received from dear brother and sister A. They suffered much for the cause of God in Dorset county, for which (if faithful) they will be amply compensated in a better world.
My crime of preaching the gospel was so great, that no common court could try my cause. There appeared to be a probability of my staying in gaol till a general court, which was near twelve months. My good friend Mr. A. went to the governor [Page 155]of Maryland, and he befriended me: had I been his brother, he could not have done more for me. The manner in which he proceeded to relieve me was this. I was an inhabitant of Maryland by birth and property: I could likewise claim a right in the Delaware state, which state was more favorable to such pestilent fellows. I was carried before the governor of Delaware. This gentleman was a friend to our society. He met me at the door, and welcomed me in, assuring me he [...]ould do any thing he could to help me. A recommendatory letter was immediately dispatched to the governor of Maryland, and I was entirely at liberty. O! how wonderfully did the people of Dorset rage—but the word of the Lord spread all through that county, and hundreds, both white and black, have experienced the love of Jesus. Since that time I have preached to more than three thousand in one congregation, not far from the place where I was imprisoned; and many of my worst enemies have [...]owed to the s [...]eptre of our Sovereign Lord. The labors of C. P. and C. were much blest in this place, in the first reviving and spreading of the work.
[Page 156] After I lest my confinement, I was more than ever determined to be for God, and none else. I travelled extensively, and my dear Lord was with me daily; and my spirit did rejoice in God my Saviour. In visiting the young societies, after I left gaol, we had blessed hours: for many came to hear—sinners cried for mercy, and God's dear people rejoiced.
Friday 24, was a solemn fast, being Good-Friday, the day on which my dear Redeemer gave up his precious life. Three days after, being in a blessed family, I had great sweetness both in public and private; and before I laid down to rest, I was very desirous of being lost and swallowed up in the love of my dear Redeemer, and of feeling the witness of perfect love. After I laid down to rest, I was in a kind of visionary way for several hours. About one I awoke very happy, arose from my bed, and addressed the throne of grace. I then lighted a candle, and spent near two hours in writing the excrcises of the night. I saw myself travelling through a dismal place, encompassed with many dangers; I saw the devil, who appeared very furious; he came near to me and declared with bitterness, [Page 157]he would be the death of me; for said he, you have done my kingdom much harm: thus saying he began pelting me with stones, and bedaubing me with dirt, till I felt wounded almost to death, and began to fear I should fall by the hand of my enemy. But in the height of my distress, my dear Saviour appeared to me: I thought him the most beautiful person that ever my eyes beheld: "I am your friend," said he, "and will support you in your journey; fear not, for your enemy is chained." I seemed to receive much strength, and the power of the enemy was so broken, that he could not move one foot after me: all he could do was to throw out threats, which he did loudly, till I got out of his hearing. Being safe from these difficulties, I looked forward and saw a very high hill which I was to ascend; and began to fear I never should be able to reach the top: I entered on my journey, and got about half way up, so fatig [...]ed that I thought every moment I must sink to the earth; I laid down to rest myself a little, and seemed to fall into a kind of [...]se; but I had not laid long, before the person who met me in the valley passed by, and smote me on the side, saying— [Page 158]"Rise up, and be gone, there is no rest for you there." With that I received strength, and got up to the top of the hill. I then looked back, and saw my enemy at a great distance: I was greatly surprized when I saw the place through which I had come; for on every hand there appeared to be pits, holes, and quagmires in abundance. I was much wounded, and all bespattered with dirt, but looked round to see if I could find any house; and at a distance I espied a little cottage, and made up to it: when I got near the door, two angels met me and said, "Come in, come in, thou blessed of the Lord, here is entertainment for weary travellers." I thought within appeared to be the most beautiful place I had ever seen. After I went in, I thought it was heaven filled with blessed saints and angels. One and another broke out "Glory, glory," &c. &c. till the place was filled with praises. One spake to me and said, "This is not heaven, as you suppose, neither are we angels, but sanctified Christians; and this is the second rest. And it is your privilege, and the privilege of all the children of God." With that I thought I had faith to believe, and in a moment my [Page 159]spotted garments were gone, and a white robe was given me: I had the language and appearance of one of this blessed society: I then awoke.
Before this, I had an ardent desire truly to know my state, and to sink deep into God. When I awoke I seemed all taken up with divine things; and spent part of the remainder of the night in writing, prayer, and praises: and had a strong witness of union with my dear Lord. My brother T. from Baltimore side came to see me, and travelled several weeks with me: and blessed times we had together; for I believe it was on this visit he felt a witness of pardoning love to his soul.
Upon a certain occasion, I was wonderfully led to think of the place called hell, and was severely basseted by the devil. "Hell," said he, ‘is not so bad a place as you represent it: how can God be a merciful Being, as you set him forth, if he sends people to such a dismal place for a few sins, to be tormented for ever?’ I was earnestly desirous to know what kind of place it was. And the Lord condescended to satisfy me in the dead season of the night. After I feil into a deep [Page 160]sleep, I seemed to enter through a narrow gate into eternity; and was met by a person who conducted me to the place called hell; but I had a very imperfect view of it; I requested to be taken where I could see it better, if that could be done: I was then conveyed to a spot where I had a full view of it. It appeared as large as the sea, and I saw myriads of damned souls, in every posture that miserable beings could get into. This sight exceeded any thing of the kind that ever had entered into my mind. But it was not for me to know any of them. Was I to attempt to describe the place as it was represented to me, I could not do it. Had I the pen of a ready writer, and angelic wisdom, I should fall short. I cried out to my guide, it is enough. With that he brought me to the place where he first met me. I then desired a discovery of heaven: my g [...] said, "not now; return: you have seen sufficient for once; and be more faithful in warning sinners, and have no more doubts about the reality of hell." Then I instantly awoke.
SECTION VIII. A short Account of my Labors and Exercises on the Western-Shore in the Year 1780.
THE Methodists being only a society, who were mostly united (with respect to communion) to the Church of England; and her ministers (especially in Virginia and Carolina) in the time of the war were dispersed, so that a large body of people, under the name of Methodists, were in a great measure destitute of the ordinances of the Lord's house. In this case what was to be done? Our dear Virginia brethren thought it expedient to form themselves into a church, and have the ordinances among them; which they did in the year 1779. But it was contrary to the minds of the preachers to the North.
In April 1780, we held a conference in Baltimore; at which brother F. A. brother W. W. and myself thought proper to visit our brethren at the South: and after a tedious journey of several hundred miles, we arrived safe in Manekin-town: where we found the brethren in conference, fully [Page 162]persuaded in their minds that the Lord required us to be a separate church. We for a considerable time conferred together, and much of the divine presence was among us. On both sides it was painful to part. This the great Governor of the church would not permit; for when the help of man failed, he interposed his omnipotent arm, and convinced our brethren, that they ought at least to accede to a suspension of the ordinances for one year, till the founder of our society, Mr. John Wesley, could be consulted. A circumstantial letter was written to that venerable apost [...] of the age, which moved his bowels of compassion towards us; and he was fully convinced, some time after, that he was in duty bound, for the prosperity of the connection in America, to do that thing, which he once but little expected—I speak with respect to his sending over a power of ordination, with his approbation of our becoming a separate, tho' Episcopal church. Which he did as soon as the way was open: and it has proved the rising glory of the connection.
Thursday May 11, having accomplished our business and obtained our wishes, we [Page 163]set our faces to the North with gladness of heart, praising the Lord for his great goodness.
Thursday 18, I came to Baltimore, where I was appointed to labor.
Friday 19, I set apart as a day of fasting, and felt my soul sweetly united to the Lord Jesus Christ. I visited brother W. L—'s family, and had great fellowship with them. Surely sister L. possesses the perfect love of God.
Saturday 20, I awoke a little after four o'clock, very much taken up with my dear Redeemer. The company and conversation of God's dear children, are blessings for which I shall never be sufficiently thankful. I have had many sweet moments with this dear family. I returned to town, and preached with freedom.
Sunday 21. As the serpent was lifted up in the wilderness, so did I endeavour to hold up the Saviour of the world to a listening multitude at the Point-chapel. I attended the English church, and heard my old pa [...]ish minister Mr. W. and he delivered a good moral sermon. I think it a pity, for people to be entertained from the pulpit, with [...]positions without any thing [Page 164](to the purpose) about repentance towards God, and fa [...] [...]owards our Lord Jesus Christ. O God! grant that I may be always faithful in the great work whereunto I am called. In the evening I preached to about five hundred precious souls with freedom. My trials are great, but I am borne above the world and sin.
Monday 22. I was comfortable whilst exhibiting the truth to a loving people; and the day following I attended a funeral, and found great freedom to preach. The remaining part of the week, I was comfortably employed in preaching, visiting our pious friends, and meeting classes.
Sunday 27. I held forth in Gunpowderneck to many hearers. This is almost as old a society as any in Maryland: it is about 12 miles from where I was born. In the evening I preached to a stiff-necked people; but I believe some good was done.— This week was chiefly taken up among my relations and old acquaintances, who are mostly laying in the arms of the evil one; nevertheless I found freedom, by day and night, to offer Jesus to them.
Sunday June 3. With delight I viewed the rising morn; the fields were clad with [Page 165]a beautiful green; the creation smiling, and the birds tuning their notes—surely an immortal spirit ought to praise the Creator of the universe. Many attended my ministry in our old Bush-chapel, among whom were many of my relations and old companions, some of whom came a distance. I found freedom, 1. to point out the beauty, 2. the order, 3. the strength, 4. the privileges of the church; and lastly, gave an affectionate address, particularly to parents, to tell it to the generations following.— Psalms xlviii. 12, 13. I had reason to believe the hearts of some were softened, and some of my relations and old acquaintances began to think that I was not beside myself. I cried the same day to many precious souls, Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground? Luke xiii. 6—9. The week following temporal business somewhat interfered with my spiritual concerns; but I trust the one thing needful was not neglected.
Tuesday 5th, eight hours passed sweetly away in closet-exercises. I want to [...] deep into the spirit of holiness. In g [...] my sweetest hour in the twenty fou [...] from four till five in the morning. I can heartily recommend this hour to all who [Page 166]can receive the saying, especially if they want close communion with God.
Sunday 10. At the Fork-chapel I found freedom to hold out the willingness of Christ to save all who unfeignedly devote themselves to him: and afterwards Mr. G. gave a lively exhortation to the Christians to stand fast in the faith: but I fear some who were present, have turned aside. In the afternoon I preached at his house— from, Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom, Luke xii. 32. 1. Who are the flock? 2. Why small? 3. What fears are they troubled with? and then concluded with an affectionate address. I felt a sweetness in my own soul, and several thought it good to be there.
Sunday June 17, I preached two sermons: the first in a private house, and the second in the Dutch church at Rister-Town. Part of my retired hours was taken up the week following, in the study of the Revelation. This book is not to be understood but by the same spirit with which it was written. It was not written without tears; with tears we must sit at the feet of Jesus for an understanding of it. [Page 167]I know but little: I must set out asresh, and earnestly seek more grace and knowledge.
Monday, my dear friend C. rode with me to Mr. V.'s, where the Lord favore [...] us with a public visit. My dear Lord used me as an instrument to revive his blessed work in this neighbourhood; for many souls were brought to experience his precious love. I still pursue my study of the Revelation, and see a great beauty in it.
Thursday 21, was a very dull day to me, especially the former part of it.
Sunday 24, was a day of gladness, and I preached with freedom. Monday I met brother W. and brother T. I preached with freedom, and one soul was set at liberty. Tuesday morning was a refreshing time to me. I am happy in visiting the sick: it is a most comfortable thing to have an interest in heaven on a dying pillow.
Sunday July 2. I have again returne [...] to Baltimore-Town, and have great fellowship with the dear disciples of our Lord in this place; and the word is sweet to many. I have been once round the circuit; and although some of the societies are in a dwindling state, yet considering them collectively, we have reason to praise God for [Page 168]what he hath done, and is doing among them. I found great freedom in my illus [...]ations on, This man receiveth sinners, Luke xv. 2.1. What sort of sinners doth Christ receive?—Broken-hearted, penitent ones. 2. On what conditions does he receive them?—Obedience: Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. 3. What does he do for those whom he receiveth? He saves them from the guilt, power, love, and practice of sin. I preached a few miles from town, and the Lord displayed his convincing power. The Christians were all alive, and sinners crying aloud for mercy; so that my voice was almost lost. When I departed, I left one youth, who had been very wicked, struggling as for life, and his companions weeping around him. I know not how many were set at liberty; I felt the power of faith, and returned to town, where I preached with freedom to near a thousand people. The next day in the country, whilst I was, first, describing who we are to understand by the king's daughter, and secondly, in what sense she is all glorious within; one soul was new- [...].
Tuesday 6, I again visited broth [...] [...] family, and found great freedom in [...]inting [Page 169]out the state of holy souls: and in class I had a comfortable time with the pious members; for there were about twelve professors (and I trust possessors) of fanctification. I felt myself much refreshed, and strengthened in the faith. I had sweet moments in preaching to and visiting the Deer-creek friends.
Monday 17, having been sent for, I visited aunt B. my father's sister, a very old woman; and she appeared to be near her end. I know not how many years she had been a communicant in the Episcopal church; but all this will not avail, if we do not become new creatures. My father had eleven brothers and sisters, the most of whom lived to be old. They are all gone to a world of spirits except one, and she is on the borders of the grave. My heart melted within me. After prayer I left her, and she appeared to have a tender heart.
Sunday 23. The worth of precious souls lays with weight upon me. O! for a trumpet voice, on all the world to call! After preaching at the Fork-chapel, [...] had a comfortable love-feast; and at Mr. G.'s we had a profitable watch-night.
[Page 170] Sunday 30, brother C. and family accompanied me. At seven o'clock we had a love-feast; about two hundred of our brethren were present, and our Saviour was in the midst. Afterwards I preached in the Dutch church. About thirty of our friends accompanied me about eight miles to another Dutch church, where I preached to many with freedom. Many went with me three miles further to Mr. V.'s, where we had a watch-night. The labors of this day were wearisome to the body; but I was strong in faith, and willing to give my little all to God. The next day a crowded audience assembled at the same place: some time before, and whilst the people were gathering, my mind was uncommonly exercised: but I found great freedom whilst inforcing, Think it not strange concerning the fiery trial, which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you. The cloud was dispersed, and I felt myself uncommonly sweet and comfortable. This dear family drink deeply into the blessed Spirit. I went to bed very happy; [...] night visions were uncommonly stra [...]: I thought I was taken dangerously [...] and expected shortly to be in eternity. [...] [Page 171]not, but I felt just as dying persons do. I appeared to be surrounded by thousands of devils, who were all striving to take from me my confidence; and for a time it seemed almost gone. I began an examination from my first awakenings—then my conversion—my call to preach—the motives which induced me to enter this great work —my intention, and life from the beginning. In the time of this examination, every fear was dismissed, and every fiend vanished; and a band of holy angels succeeded with the most melodious music that I ever heard. I then began to ascend, accompanied by this heavenly host; and thought every moment the body would drop off, and my spirit take its flight. After ascending a vast height, I was over-shadowed with a cloud as white as a sheet; and in that cloud I saw a person the most beautiful that my eyes had behold. I wanted to be dislodged from this tabernacle, and take my everlasting flight. That glorio [...]s person, more bright than the sun in [...] meridian brilliancy, spake to me as follows, "If you continue faithful to the end, this shall be your place; but you cannot [...] now; return, and be [...] there [Page 172]is more work for you to do." Immediately I awoke, and my spirit was so elevated with a sense of eternal things, that I thought I should sleep no more that night. Great and glorious discoveries have been made to me, both sleeping and waking; but all the promises of heaven and eternal glory have been conditional. In scripture we have a little, but significant word, if— If you are faithful until death, you shall have a crown of life. I would advise all the children of God to be very careful and watchful, and continue in well-doing until death. Some suppose that we ought not to put any dependance in dreams and visions. We should lay the same stress on them in this our day, as wise and good men have done in all ages. Very great discoveries were made to Peter, Paul, and others in their night visions. But is there not a danger of laying too much stress on them? We are in danger from a variety of quarters: let us therefore bring every thing to, and try it by the standard; taking the Spirit for our guide, and the written word for our rule, we shall without doubt go safe.
[Page 173] Tuesday August 2, I preached with great freedom to a crowded audience, and a minister of the Reformed Church of Holland gave an exhortation in the German language; as there were several present, who did not understand English.
I paid the town of Baltimore another visit; and was then under a necessity of crossing the Chesapeak-bay agreeably to the desire of Mr. F. Asbury. During my absence brother D. R. supplied my place. In many places during my travels through the Peninsula, we had great displays of the power of God; for thousands gathered to hear the word. The devil was angry, and he and his agents spread many most sc [...] dalous reports; some of which were carried across the bay, and reached the ears of my relations: and some of the carnal ones believed the reports. My manner was, to go straight forward in the line of my duty. When I returned, many gathered, at the Fork-chapel, from all quarters; and among the crowd I espied my old uncle T. who had heard and believed the reports; and was determined, as I understood, to detect me in the midst of the people. Never shall I forget the day; for the Lord [Page 174]his arm bare, and we had a precious, refreshing shower; and the heart of my dear old uncle was tendered [...] and tears flowed down his face. After he left the Chapel, he said to some of his acquaintances, "surely my cousin is belied." He came and begged me to go home with him; which I did. The next day he followed me five miles; and the tears flowed plentifully. When we were about to part, he asked me what compensation he should make me for the benefit which he had received. "Will you," said he, "receive a suit of clothes?" I thanked him kindly, telling him that I had as much clothing as was necessary. He then put his hand in his pocket, and pulled out eighty continental dollars, which at that time were worth about twenty hard dollars; at first I refused; but he would not be denied. So I took them, and some time after gave them to brother S. a man who needed them. When we parted, he told me he expected to see me no more—It was so; for some time after the Lord called him away.
I continued in this circuit till the following spring, and enjoyed precious moments. Many were added to the society, and many [Page 175]brought into gospel-liberty: and some received the second blessing. I trust I grew in grace and knowledge during my stay: and felt myself an unprofitable servant, and very unworthy of the many favors which I received from the precious, loving followers of Christ in this circuit.
SECTION IX. An Account of my Travels, Exercises, and Success, in forming what is called Little York Circuit.
FOR some time it was in my mind to visit Little York, and the country round. The way being open, on Monday the 24th of January 1781, I set out, and travelled till evening: and then put up at a tavern, about twelve miles from the town to which I was bound. I lectured in the family on the seventh of Matthew; and the Lord began [...]s work: that night Mr. W. a gentleman from the town, lodged at the same tavern; and in time of family-worship, [Page 176]the Lord, in mercy, laid his hand of conviction on him.
Tuesday 25th, I went on to town, and in the afternoon the bell rang, and I preached in the Dutch church; and the gentleman's lady (who was awakened the evening before) got her heart touched. When he came home in the evening, he spoke to this effect, "My dear, I heard such a man last night as I never saw or heard before, and if what he said be true, we are all in the way to hell." "I expect," said she, "he is the same man whom I heard this afternoon in Wagoner's church; and I believe that his doctrine is true, and that we are all in the way to ruin." "Well," said he, "let us set about our salvation." "I am willing," said she.
Wednesday 26th. As I had sent forward an appointment, I went on about twenty miles, and preached with a degree of freedom.
Having an appointment, I preached at Mr. G.'s, the Lutheran minister; and after meeting we had an agreeable conversation. His mother and sister, whose hearts the Lord had touched. accompanied me to Berlin, where I preached to a large congregation [Page 177]with great freedom. I again had an opportunity, in the evening, to hold up a loving Saviour to the listening multitude.
By this time a persecution had arisen among the people in Little York and around: the enemy of souls had taken an advantage of my two friends, who were awakened: being under deep distress, and sorely tempted by the devil, not knowing what to do, at length they prepared water, and washed themselves; and then put on clean clothes, and concluded that it was the new birth. And after they came from their room, they kissed their two children, who were man and woman well nigh grown, and told them they were new born. Being in a great measure bereft of their senses, and the enemy ready to take every advantage, "Come," said they, "old things must be done away, and all things must become new." They then began to throw their old clothing and blankets [...] the fire; and among other things he throw on a large bundle of paper money. "This," said he, "is an old thing, and must be done away." The neighbours being alarmed, ran in and saved many things: but I [Page 178]suppose they did not sustain less than fifteen pounds loss. A minister was sent for, and he desired a doctor to be called; for they knew not what was the matter. A Quak [...] woman came to see them, and she said, "She did not know of any one that could be of service to them, unless it was the man that was the occasion of it." The cry was, such a man ought not to go through the country: and others desired me to be brought and put into gaol. I was about twenty miles off, and as soon as I heard of it, mounted my horse and got to them as quick as possible. When the neighbours saw me, several gathered into the room. When I entered the house, I perceived that the woman looked strange, and the man was in bed under the hands of the doctor, with several blister-plaisters on him. I sat down by his bedside (she sat on the foot of the bed) and asked him what he wanted—"To be new born," said he. Taking out my little bible, I read and lectured on a chapter: and sensibly felt that the Lord was present to hea [...]. It brought [...] the time when St. Peter visite [...]. I believe, in the time of the exh [...] [...] prayer, the Lord not only open [...] [...] [Page 179]of salvation to those two distressed ones, but several others who came in; and we had a precious sweet time. I desired them to take his blister-plaisters off. Glory to God! he restored them, not only to their natural, but spiritual senses. A good and gracious God has his own way of working among the children of men. Though at first it caused a great distress to lay upon my mind; yet in the end it was for good; many were astonished and brought to a serious consideration. Although the church door was shut against me, a large school, room was opened, in which I preached a sermon on the occasion, to about three hundred souls; and the Lord touched the hearts of many: and my two mad people (as they had been called) were able to rejoice in the Lord: and it was not long [...] I gathered a loving society.
Wednesday 15th, I preached in [...] G.'s church, to almost as many as it [...] hold, from, If the rightous [...] saved, &c. Shewing, 1. Who [...] righteous, and how they are [...] [...]aved. 2. Who are the ungodly and sinners, [...] 3. their awful doom. [...] if the [...] are searcely saved, and the nominal [Page 180]professor not saved at all, the openly profane will have no chance for heaven, unless he repents. In the evening I preached to many in the minister's own house, and there was an inquiry how to obtain mercy. In the country Satan began to rage as well as in town. The people began to cry out against their minister, because (as they expressed it) I had turned him to be a M [...]thodist.
Wednesday 22. I had a tedious journey to Colchester; but found the parents of one family (who were awakened when I was there before) mourning for Jesus; and I had freedom to preach to the people. In the morning I set out again for Berlin, and missed my way. I am burdened—surely it is a burden which the Lord hath laid upon me, and it is for the best. I called at an house to [...] for the road—I heard a dismal groaning and lamenting within. I alighted from my horse and went in; and fo [...] the woman of the house wringing her [...]ands, and mourning bitterly. Good woman, said I, what is the matter with you? "Sir," said she, "have you never heard what has happened? I have sold my three little children to the devil, and such a [Page 181]day he is to come for them." I can prove to you, said I, that it is out of your power to sell your children to the devil, for they belong to God. I read and explained [...] her parts of several chapters; but it [...]emed all in vain. Her husband came in, and I desired him to get a horse and take her to preaching that afternoon. After he had got the horse, I desired her to make ready, and go to preaching with her husband. "O," said she, "I cannot think of leaving my dear little children in the arms of the devil." After some time she was prevailed on to go. Her husband told me, that she had carried a razor in her bosom for three weeks, with an intent, first to take the lives of her children (before the day came, tha [...] [...] thought the devil was to come for [...] and then take her own life. I preac [...] a formon suited to her condition; and it pleased the Lord to visit her soul in mercy, so that after preaching she came to me in a rapture of joy, blessing and praising God that the ever saw my face. She became a blessed, pious woman. I then knew the cause of my being lost. O God, thou art good, [Page 182]and I will praise thee! thou art kind, and I will give glory to thy holy name!
Friday February 24, I returned to town, and the persecution was so hot, that I thought it most expedient to preach at Mr. W.'s, a mile out of town. Many gathered, and we had a moving time. The next day we had a powerful season; and the hearts of some of my enemies were reached.
Sunday February 26. I never saw so many out in this place before, and even some who had thought it a sin to hear me. And I never saw a more general moving in any place where preaching had been so short a time. In this county there were, I think, sixteen different denominations, and some [...] seemed zealous in their way. In the [...]noon I again returned and preached [...] W.'s, where one woman was struck under conviction, and cried aloud for mercy. There was a shaking through the whole assembly—I felt the power of faith, and was greatly enlightened in the holy scriptur [...].
Wednesday February 28, I returned to try the town again, and found the people very still; and we had a solemn, useful [Page 183]time. Lodged at Mr. S.'s, and felt my spirit much refreshed.
Tuesday March 1. Being desired the day before to visit a distressed man, one who was troubled with an evil spirit; between day-break and sunrise, I called his minister out of bed, and desired him to go with me. We went, and I desired all to leave the room, except the distressed man, his wife, the minister, and myself. I then desired him to open to me his case. He said "for a long time the devil had followed him, and that he had frequently seen him with his bodily eyes." The dear man was under conviction, but knew not what was the matter with him. I told him my experience, and gave him as good directions as I was capable of. I prayed for him, and so likewise did his minister in Dutch; and I understood afterward, that he was troubled no more in the same way, and became one of my quiet hearers.
I visited the country, and experienced great displays of the awakening power of God; for many precious souls were enquiring the way to heaven, both Dutch [...] English. I again returned to town, [Page 184]and preached to about three hundred people by candle-light; but some were offended. I appointed to preach the next evening. In town there were many soldiers billeted, and the officers declared that if I came to attempt to preach again, that they would have me to gao!—So I understood by my friends; who desired me to decline. I was not afraid of their threats, but in the evening attended the appointment. Shortly after I had taken my text— Quench not the Spirit, [...] Thessalonians v. 19. several officers with a company of soldiers came to the place, but the house was so crowded, none could get in but the officers, who fixed themselves by my right-hand; one of whom stood on a bench with his staff in his hand, listed up several times either to strike or scare me; but had a bat or an owl lighted on the wail, I should have been as much afraid. The devil cannot lead his factors further than the length of his chain. After sermon was ended, all withdrew, and no harm was done. I was surprised to see the same officers come to hear the word the [...] night; and they were peaceable [...]. The next day I had a [...] invitation to pr [...] [Page 185]to the soldiers; but as I was under a necessity of leaving town, I could not.
Saturday 20, I preached at Mr. H. P.'s, and the Lutheran minister who met me, gave an exhortation after I had done, in Dutch.
Sunday 21, I preached at the same place at eight o'clock to hundreds. I then rode five miles, and preached in a large barn at twelve o'clock, but many could not get in. More than a hundred followed me from the morning preaching, and many of them were crying for mercy. One man came to me in a flood of tears—"Sir," said he, "can you tell me what I shall do to be saved, for I am the wickedest man in the whole county." I exhorted him to put his trust and confidence in God. The general cry among the people was, "This is the right religion."—It did appear to me, as if sects, and names, and parties would fall; and only the name of Christ be all in all. I rode six miles farther followed by many, and preached with freedom at four o'clock. And in the evening I had great freedom to preach in town. It would be too tedious for me to give an account of every particular; yea, I could not do it. [Page 186]During my stay in this part of the Lord's vineyard, which was a little more than two months, I preached in more than twenty different places: and I then thought that there were more than three hundred people under powerful awakenings; and many had found the pardoning love of God, and were happy; and I joined about a hundred in society the last week of my stay in the parts, and was very sorry that I could not stay a longer time with the people—Though I was succeeded by a faithful preacher, the work afterwards did not prosper in the manner I expected.
Monday 22, I was to preach my farewell sermon in town, at five o'clock. [...] found great freedom from John xvi. 33. [...] me ye shall have peace, &c. A little after six o'clock, I started for Baltimore, to attend the conference; and rode twenty-five miles, where I preached; and after sermon rode thirty-five miles more, and got into town about sunset, and heard a sermon.
SECTION X. A short Account of my Travels till the following Conference, 1781.
OUR conference was attended with a blessing. All the travelling-preachers were willing to abide by Mr. Wesley's judgment, respecting the ordinances. I was appointed to Sussex circuit in Virginia: but found it to be somewhat difficult to travel; for it was the time when Cornwallis was ransacking the country. In Virginia it was a time of distress indeed, and there was a call for great faith and patience.
June 4th, 1781, I got into the circuit, and had an appointment at Ellis's chapel. When I entered the door I saw a man in the pulpit dressed in black, and [...]e was at prayer. I soon perceived her was a man bereft of his reason. I went into the pulpit and desired him to give over. After he ended, I gave out his text, and began to preach. But I had no other way to stop him, than to desire the people to withdraw. His testimony was, that he was a prophet sent of God to teach the people; [Page 188]and that it was revealed to him, a person was to interrupt him in his discourse. After a few minutes the people returned, and all was still. I then gave out, Feed my sheep, John xxi. 17. I had liberty in shewing, 1. the character in the text—sheep; 2. why the followers of our Lord might be called sheep; and, 3. how the sheep are to be fed. 1. The shepherd; 2. the food; and, 3. the manner of feeding the flock. The prophet returned home, and that night he told his family, at such an hour he would go into a trance; and that they must not bury him till after such a time, should he not come to. Accordingly, to appearance he was in a trance. The next day I was sent for to visit him. Many were weeping around the bed. He lay like a corpse, for I could not perceive that he breathed. He was once happy in God, and a sensible, useful man. About the time of which he spoke, he came to himself. Satan was partly disappointed; for in a measure he was restored to his reason, and I took him part of the way round the circuit with me. What was the cause of this? Satan prompted him to think more highly of himself than he ought; and to [Page 189]set himself up for some great one; and so he fell into the condemnation of the devil. I had a hope before we parted, his fallen soul was restored; and some time after he began again to preach Christ; and, I trust, was more humble than ever. I continued on this circuit about three months, and had many happy hours, and some distressing ones. Two things caused a great distress on my mind, 1. the spirit of fighting; and, 2. that of slavery which ran among the people. I was resolved to be found in my duty, and keep back no part of the counsel of God. Day and night I could hear the soaring of the cannon, for I was not far from York, during the siege or taking of Cornwallis. Many of our pious friends were absolutely against fighting, and some of them suffered much on that account. Some of them were compelled or taken by force into [...]e field; though they would sooner lose their own lives, than take the life of any human creature. I saw it my duty to cry [...]own this kind of proceeding, declaring that it was not precedented (to compel persons to [...]ght contrary to their consciences) in the oracles of God. I was, in a particular [Page 190]manner, led to preach against the practice of slave-holding. Several were convinced of the impiety of the practice, and liberated their slaves; and many others, who did not liberate them, were convinced that they ought to use them better than they had done. Had it not been for those two evils which lay so heavy on me, I might have been more popular among the people. I preached at a quarterly meeting at Maberry's chapel, where there were about two thousand present, of all ranks; and being pressed in spirit, I cried, Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with thy God. There were more than a thousand people who could not get into the chapel: some of those without called for an officer to take me. After meeting was ended, I walked through the midst of them, but no one laid hands on me. During my stay in this circuit, many backsliders were reclaimed, and though my trials were great, I had many refreshing seasons.
Saturday and Sunday August 12 and 13, I attended a quarterly meeting in Nansemond circuit; and travell d [...]everal times round it, possessing a great love for the people. Mrs. G. (a woman of note) and [Page 191]her niece, came out to hear the word; both were convinced, and became famous for piety.
Friday 25, I preached near a place called the Desert. I am informed that this wilderness is twenty miles broad, and fifty long; and in the middle of it is a lake three miles wide and five long; in which is abundance of fish of various kinds. I am also informed, that when the Indians were driven from this part of Carolina, many of them fled to this desert, in which they found a small spot of high land, where they lived mostly on roots and fish, till they were driven out by the wild beasts of the desert. I am farther informed that it is inhabited by panthers, bears, wolves, and wild cats in abundance: and that they are of a very large size.
I am now in my element—forming a new circuit—and I have pleasing prospects. I preached in one peace, and there was a great shaking among the people. I preached again the next day, and the power of the Lord in a most wonderful manner came down.—I was somewhat surprized— the rich are brought to mourn for Christ. Several fell under the word. A major was [Page 192]so powerfully wrought on, that I suppose he would have fallen from his seat, had not the colonel held him up. A large society was united in this place, mostly of the rich. About this time I received a letter from Mr. F. A. in which I was informed that he could not visit the south, and that it was his desire I should see to stationing the preachers.
In November I began my autumn visitation. Saturday and Sunday 3d and 4th, the Brunswick quarterly meeting was held; at which about twelve preachers met, and had their different appointments. We had a blessed time at this meeting. I travelled (by the desire of the brethren) largely through the circuits, and my dear Lord was powerfully present in many places to heal. I met with much trouble from several who were not willing to give up the administration of the ordinances.
Tuesday January 29, I unexpectedly met Mr. F. A. (as he had concluded it was best to come down) who requested me to visit the circuits on the north side of James river; which I promised to do, as soon as I had fulfilled my appointments already made. I did not accomplish this till the mouth of [Page 193]March, for I had to visit my new circuit, where I had crowds to hear the word; and several of the English churches were open; and many enquiring after eternal life.
March 14. Having finished my rout, I crossed James river, and entered Fluvannah circuit: and felt my heart closely united with the dear children of God, some of whom have emancipated their slaves. I found them in great confusion about the ordinances at the Brokenback church, and favorably hope that my visit was for good, for I was greatly drawn out in preaching the word.
Saturday 23 and Sunday 24th, I attended my brother Richard Garrettson's quarterly meeting; and we both had great freedom to preach the word, and a precious, powerful time. This meeting was held at colonel F.'s, a most precious man; one who speaks boldly for his master, and has liberated many slaves. My brother travelled several days with me, and we had sweet times together.
Saturday 30th of March, I travelled on my way to Hanover circuit, and had some very agreeable conversation with a ge [...] man on the road, who appeared to be desirous [Page 194]of salvation; though at first very unwilling to let it be known.
Sunday 31, I preached in the Presbyterian meeting-house at Ground-Squirrel; but I do not know of any good done, except prejudice removed. I past round the circuit, preaching day and night with a degree of success, and my spirit was daily refreshed.
Sunday 5, I preached in the church in King and Queen. We had such a shout in the camp of Israel, that my voice was lost. Saturday we had a powerful meeting at dear brother S.'s. The good old man told me, it was revealed to him several months before, that I should preach in his house. (I have heard much of you, said he, and have had a longing desire to see you.) I perceived that the Lord had blest my brother Richard's labors in this place. I set several days apart for retirement, and earnestly desired to drink more deeply into the Spirit of God. O, for a closer walk with [...] heavenly Friend! It is not enough for [...] to preach to others, I need food daily for my own soul. Lord, give me a constant hungering and thirsting after thee.
[Page 195] Saturday 11, as I was on my way to my appointment, my chaise turned over, and the horse being scared, broke the chaise and harness, so that I was under a necessity of borrowing a horse and saddle. The next day I preached in the church, and my chaise being fitted up, I set out on my way, accompanied by brother D. We rode all day through the rain, and on Wednesday we got to Surry, where conference was to be held. My reward is not with man: if it was I should be poorly off. We settled our conference concerns as far as we could, and adjourned till the third Tuesday in May: when it was to be concluded in Baltimore. On Sunday I attended the quarterly meeting in Sussex with Mr. F. A. When I came to Leesburgh I found the small-pox very brief; and when I got into Baltimore-Town it was more so; and my scruples being removed, I was inoculated; for which I have had no reason to repent. My labors in Virginia the past year were not altogether in vain. I think my dear Lord made me instrumental in uniting to us many of our brethren, who had disagreed with us about the ordinances, both preachers and people. [Page 196]I can say it was a year of humiliation; and humbly believe I grew in knowledge as well as grace.
SECTION XI. A short Account of myself, till I embarked for Nova-Scotia.
MY time was mostly spent in the Peninsula; and glorious displays of the goodness of God we had. I never saw a greater meeting than we had at Barrot's chapel, in the fall. It was the desire of brother F. A. that I should go to Redstone, in order to form some circuits there. I was willing to go in the spring, but I felt an unwillingness to expose myself in the dead of winter, in the back settlements, where all were strangers to our doctrine and discipline. I never was able to determine, whether I was right or wrong in refusing to go at that season. However, I suffered much in my mind, wishing many times afterward that I had taken up the cross.
[Page 197] In August 1784, I received a letter from brother F. A. in which I was desired to prepare for a journey to Charleston, as quick as possible. At that time I was travelling in Talbot circuit, and had great freedom among the people. Our dear Lord was laying a foundation for, and carrying on a most glorious work. I have no doubt but hundreds were awakened that summer, in the circuit. Dear brother M. (who was called the weeping prophet) travelled with me; and the Lord owned his labors. The most of my time, during this station, was spent in Kent, Sussex, and Talbot circuits; where we had glorious gatherings to the society. It was not uncommon to see from one to four thousand people at a quarterly meeting; and I was ready to conclude, that the whole Peninsula would flame with the glory of God. I was resolved, by the blessing of the Lord, to leave the circuit as quick as possible, and set out on my journey to Charleston, which I did after the Tuckehoe quarterly meeting, at which I preached my farewell sermon to a nameous crowd bathed in tears. I went as far as Dover, and intended to stay at R. B.'s. Esq a few days. The evening following [Page 198]a friend came to my room, and informed me that doctor Coke had arrived, and was below. I went down, and received him and brother W. as welcome messengers; and accompanied them the next day to a quarterly meeting held at Barrot's chapel. Dear Mr. Wesley had gratified the desires of thousands of his friends in America, in sending a power of ordination, and giving his consent to our becoming a separate church. About fifteen preachers were present; and it was concluded that I should go through the continent, and call a conference at Baltimore immediately. Within six weeks, after travelling upwards of twelve hundred miles, I settled the business, besides preaching almost every day, once, and sometimes twice, and made my return. The preachers being gathered, our conference began on Christmas-day, and we acceded to the method proposed by Mr. Wesley: and men were set apart, and consecrated for the different orders of the church. And instead of Charleston, I had an appointment to take charge of the work in the East. I was tempted (if it was a temptation) to think that the nomination was partial; however I was resolved, with the [Page 199]blessing of the Lord, to go as long as my strength would admit; any where, and every where, as might be thought best. Under exalted thoughts of the Deity, and a [...]nse of my own unworthiness, my will was subject, and my heart revived: and I felt a willingness to be the servant of all. I am convinced, that a small degree of grace will not do for a Methodist preacher.
SECTION XII. A short Account of my Travels and Success through Part of Nova-Scotia.
ABOUT the middle of February, accompanied by brother C. I embarked for Halifax in Nova-Scotia. The weather for two days after we set out was very pleasant, but the wind shifted, and it became extremely cold; and withal we had a form for several days, so that we almost [...]paired of life. A strong impression was [...] my mind, that we should be spared to [...] some good in that country; and so it [...]—for after tossing fourteen days on the [Page 200]ocean, we safely landed in Halifax, and were kindly received by P. M. Esq and a few others. Brother C. went on to Shelburne, and I continued in the city. My good friend Mr. M. hired a large room, and had it furnished with seats and a pulpit. I preached to as many as attended, almost every night in the week, and three times on the Lord's-day, during my stay; and that with a degree of freedom: and I trust a few were awakened, and some were united in society.
Having repeated invitations, I set out in the latter end of March, on a journey through the country. In two week I travelled about three hundred miles, and preached twenty sermons (though the snow was deep) to many attentive hearers; and I trust some were brought under a serious concern about their souls: and a few old Methodists, who were emigrants from Europe, rejoiced to hear that glorious found, which they had been accustomed so often to hear in their native land. When I returned again to Halifax, I found freedom to preach to the people, but labored under many trials. My few kind friends in Halifax were not willing that I should leave [Page 201]them. The harvest is great, and the laborers are few. I must go where there is a probability of doing the most good. There are thousands of poor souls in the Wilderness, who are destitute of a spiritual shepherd—yea, I fear in the open field of r [...]in.
I again left Halifax and rode to Windfor, where I preached on the 20th of May, to many w [...] [...]eemed to pay attention to the word. Saturday I rod [...] [...]ve miles, and lodged at Dr. B.'s: and the day following I preached in the court-house, to about an hundred people, from, I will shew thee m [...]ne opinion: the greater part appeared to be well pleased; but none con [...]ced of sin. Several followed to hear the word at the new court-house about four mises, where I preached in the afternoon from, Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there [...] physician there? Why then is not the health of the daughter of my people recovered? I found freedom in answering the questions proposed by the prophet, especially the last. The way is open for the recovery of man, [...] man is unwilling to accept of pro [...]ered [...]ercy. I rode several miles, and preached in [...]nwallis at six o'clock; and there [Page 202]appeared to be a small moving on the minds of individuals. I staid a few days in this town, and preached several sermons; and I doubt not but there were several powerfully awakened—and about twelve, whose hearts seemed to be touched, joined in society.
I travelled through Wilmut, Gransville, Annapolis, and Digby, and had many to hear, but few were willing to give their hearts to God. In D [...]by they were destitute of a minister of any denomination, and I fear of religion too; and in my opinion, they were but a small remove from it in Annapolis—true they had Mr. B. for their minister; but his discourses were not adapted to the awakening of sleepy sinners. Can these dry bones live? O! that there may be a shaking, and a little army raised up to praise the Lord! Many took me to be their enemy, and would not come to hear the word. I had many sorrowful hours, and shed many tears on account of the wickedness of the people; but my dear Lord comforted my soul.
Sunday June 5, 1785, I preached to many in Mr. E.'s barn; at eleven o'clock I administered the sacrament to a few. In [Page 203]the afternoon I preached again. Monday I preached at Horton, on the freedom of the will: and Tuesday met brother C. at Windsor. The day following about twenty of our friends, after sermon, communicated with us; and we had a feast of love. Brother C. went on his way to Cumberland, to supply brother B.'s place; for I had written to him to come to Halifax; and the Lord made him a blessing to the people in that city. After spending a few more weeks in those country-towns, with a degree of liberty and success, I returned to and spent some time in Halifax, and found that brother B.'s labors had not been in vain.
Tuesday July 26. I embarked for Liverpool, and landed safe on Friday, and had a time of refreshment whilst preaching in the meeting-house. Captain D. who has since gone to heaven, some time before any of us came to this town, met with a little tract, written by Mr. Wesley, called the character of a Methodist, and having a great desire to hear one of those men, sent to Shelburne, and desired brother I. M. to give them a visit, which he did shortly after: and many of the people were very fond of his doctrine; but he was much [Page 204]opposed by a company of warm professors of religion, who were the followers of one Mr. A. One Lord's-day he went into the meeting-house to preach, and a party of those zealous disciples were determined if possible to prevent it; and in all probability would, had not the magistrate interfered: Colonel P. as mild a man in nature as any to be found, as well as a well-wisher to all religious persuasions, reasoned very coolly with them, but to little purpose, till another magistrate spoke more roughly, and then they gave over, and left the house. After this they did not attempt an open attack, but strove to prejudice the people against us.
When I came to town, I found that by the preaching of brother M. and brother C. the Lord had begun a work, and they had united twenty in society. In this town there were about one thousand inhabitants, besides little children. I was much pleased with the people, and found great freedom to preach the word. I began to preach at five o'clock in the morning; and the people being mostly raised amongst, and ac [...] to the ways of the Presbyterians, [...] to be a work of [...]ogation. [Page 205]I staid in the town about four weeks, during which time I preached three, and sometimes four sermons on the Lord's day; and frequently on other evenings: and visited from house to house. When I departed, I left forty in society, several of whom had found pardon, and several were under deep distress; and I can say for my own part, it was a precious season.
In August I embarked for and arrived safe in Shelburne, where I found sixteen members of society of whites, and some blacks, who were united by brother C. In this town there are many precious [...], mostly refugees, and prone to evil as the spark is to fly upwards. In this town we had a little preaching-house which was built by Mr. W.; and would accommodate about two hundred people. During my stay my manner was as follows, viz. in the morning to preach in Shelburne at nine o'clock: then to walk to Burchtown three miles off, and preach to the black people at twelve o'clock: (there were about five hundred in the town who were able to attend, and they had built themselves a church) then to return and preach in Sh [...] [...]urne at five o'clock, and likewise by candle-light. [Page 206]I had not preached long till our church would not contain the people, so that many went away for want of room. Mr. W. minister of the Church of England, gave me an invitation to preach in his church: which I did three Sabbaths at five o'clock: and then there was no more place for me there. So I stood on a large rock in the street, and cried, On this rock will I build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it, Matt. xvi. 18. Our friends soon enlarged our little house, so that it would accommodate three or four hundred; but still it would by no means hold as many as wished to hear. Agreeably to my desire, the blacks of Shelburne bunt themselves a little house at the North end of the town, and I preached to them separately, in order to have more room for the whites.
Our dear Master began to carry on a blessed work; but the devil and his children were angry. They frequently stoned the house; and one night a company came out, and strove (as it stood by the brow of a hill on pillars) to shove it down.—Whilst I was preaching to near four hundred people by candle-light, they were beating underneath, [Page 207]to get away the pillars—In the midst of my preaching I cried out, Without are dogs, sorcerers, whoremongers, idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie. The company ran off with a hideous yelling, and we were left to worship God peaceably.
During my stay in and around Shelburne (which was six weeks) numbers both white and black, were added to the society; and many tasted the good word of God, and felt the powers of the world to come.
Being under an engagement again to visit the new societies where I had been, I embarked for Liverpool. Shortly after we hoisted sail (a man-of-war lay in the harbour) an officer said to his fellows, "He is going," and they cried amain, " [...] the Methodist parson! hail the Methodis [...] parson!" Our captain paid no attention to them; but they followed us with a bullet from a cannon, though we passed on unhurt. I touched at Liverpool and staid two weeks, and found the work of the Lord prospering under the ministry of brother I. M. From thence I went to Halifax, and found the work prospering under [Page 208]the ministry of brother B. I staid two weeks, and preached with a small degree of freedom. I want to do good! I want to live to the honor of my dear Lord! I want to be all glorious within! When, O when will my warfare with Satan end? Not till my work is done! I resign— Lord, I am willing to wait thine own good time.
My custom was to travel mostly by sea, in the summer; and by land, in the winter: and the Lord was with me.
I spent the most of this winter in the different towns between Halifax and Annapolis; and there was a gathering to the society. My mind was often troubled with people of a disputatious turn of mind; and was grieved at the hardness of their hearts. Whilst in the wilderness, surrounded by the impious, my mind was staid on my dear Lord.
In the spring 1786, I paid Liverpool my third visit; and from thence went to Shelburne, and found that a black man, by the name of M—t, from England, had done much hurt. Surely if lady H. had him put into the ministry (as he gave this account) her ladyship was much deceived in the man; [Page 209]or else he has since become an amazing bad one. I left near two hundred blacks in society, and at my return I did not find half that number. When I went to their town, I called them together, and informed them of his character. Many of them were convinced of their error, and returned to the society; so that in the whole we only lost about twenty persons. I likewise applied to their colonel, who was a black, or rather a yellow man, to have him put out of the town, which he consented to; so there was once more a prospect of prosperity among them.
A town called Barrington lay heavy on my mind, and I had a great desire to visit its inhabitants. This town lies about thirty miles to the South West of Shelburne, having no other than a small foot-path which leads to it; so that I was under the necessity of going by sea, or on foot. I set out with A. E. for a pilot, as he had been there. I preached at Port-Roseway, where we had a small society. From thence we went to Cape Negro, where we were kindly entertained by old Mr. S. who I trust had a love for our Saviour. With freedom I preached to a few families, and the [Page 210]Lord began a good work. From thence I went to Barrington; and after wading good part of the way nearly half-leg deep in mud and water, we got into town about three o'clock on the third day of our journey from Shelburne. I did not know of one person who would receive me, so I sat down on a large stone in the town, not far from the meeting-house. Their former minister who had left them, I was informed, had written a letter in which he said, there was one Garrettson going through the country, who was a dangerous Arminian; and advised them to be careful. I desired Mr. E. my companion and pilot, to notify the inhabitants, that a stranger had come to town, and intended at an hour by sun to preach in the meeting-house. The hour commenced and I had about twenty hearers; and appointed to preach the next day at the same time. The people all withdrew, and there was no one to say, Will you go home with me? I told my friend, he must get a home as he could, and I went to the house of a gentleman who asked me to drink tea, but not to stay all night. I asked him if there was a boarding-house, or taver [...] in town; he said there [Page 211]was not, and it was not convenient for me to stay with him, or he would make me welcome. However, rather than stay out all night, I went to another house; and gave myself an invitation, and was not denied.
The next day about thirty came out to hear; and I then had an invitation to an house. The day following I appointed to preach morning, afternoon, and evening; but the people were much afraid of being deceived. My mind was greatly distressed; and I was almost ready to leave the place; for the people looked very coldly on me.
About an hundred came to hear; I preached two sermons, and concluded not to preach in the evening, as I had an invitation to go home with Mr. S. a very clever man, who lived on a little island about seven miles off: in this man I found a friend. On this little island I preached several sermons with freedom: and began to think, that the Lord had a work for me to do.
The following Friday I went to another little island, to Mrs. D.'s, who had a friendship for religious people. Whilst I was [Page 212]on this island, a Mr. C. came; whom I invited by a messenger to attend my ministry, and speak after me; but this he refused. In the evening I preached on the main land, not far from the meeting-house, to a few; but pride and unbelief keep out the word. Saturday I attended the ministry of Mr. C. To-morrow, said I (after meeting was out) I have an appointment in the meeting-house; and the days are long enough for us both to preach: this he refused; but appointed to preach in a private house. This kind of conduct in him astonished the spectators; but still the people were afraid of the Arminians.
Sunday. This morning my mind was amazingly distressed. I was afraid the Lord had not called me to this town. I mourned in secret, and intreated the Lord to make it manifest that he had sent me to this place, by a display of his convincing power among the people. The hour came, and I repaired to the meeting-house; none were present but my pilot (and he was greatly shaken, and in doubt which wa [...] to go) and two others. My distress [...] was to be sensibly [...]. I [...] a little wood, a quarter of a mi [...] [...] [Page 213]the meeting-house, and intreated the Lord, if he required me to preach in the place, to send out the people and bless his word. As I was again ascending the hill, toward the meeting-house, resolving within myself, that if the people did not attend, and if the word was not blest, I would leave the town, and conclude that I was not called thereto. But I saw the people coming from every part of the town, and in a short time we had a large gathering, and immediately the cloud broke from my mind, and with a gl [...]d heart I ascended the pulpit stairs; and the word of the Lord seemed all open to me. I preached and the flame ran through the assembly: in the afternoon I preached again, with the same freedom. Among two or three hundred people, it appeared as though there were but few present, but in a greater or less degree felt the flame. After meeting was ended, they came around me on every hand in tears; and I suppose I had invitations to more than twenty houses.
Having an appointment at Shelburne, we set out; but after I got there I staid only a few days, and returned to take care of the awakened fouls. And in my return, I [Page 214]called at Cape Negro; and the Lord began a blessed work in several families there. When I got to Barrington, I found many hungering after the word. I took the town in rotation, and visited the greater part of the families; and I went to but few houses, at which there had been no awakenings. Mrs. A. and two of 'squire H.'s sons' wives, had experienced the pardoning love of God; together with several others. Now it wa [...] that many were willing to be called Arminians, and join society.
I paid Cape Negro a visit, and found Mrs. S. under deep conviction, and several others; I preached with freedom, and returned, accompanied by near a dozen, and among the rest was old Mrs. S. under deep distress of soul, who [...] nine miles; and the next day she was baptized; and what was much better, [...] received remission of sins; and returned home on Monday praising the Lord. Mr. A. who had been at sea, and had never heard a Methodist, came home in the midst of this stir; and the Lord touched his heart, and he wept at his feet. Mrs. D. (wife to the 'squire) and several others were powerfully wrought upon. I visited them; and Mrs. [Page 215]D. said, "I am afraid there is no mercy for me! when I was eleven years old in England, under the preaching of Mr. Wesley and Mr. Whitefield, I was convinced; and Mr. Whitefield received me for a convert, but now I am a gross backslider." A young woman under deep distress, who was at her house, retired, and was resolved not to rest till her soul was blest: and so it was, for about three o'clock the Lord gave her a new heart, and put a joyful song in her mouth. She came where I preached in the afternoon, full of love, and went all round the house among the young people; and talked to them, to the admiration of all present. I preached from, Our entrance in unto you is not in vain. I visited Mr. A. who was under deep distress. "O! said he, what an alteration there is in the town—the people do not look like the same."
By this time the Lord had raised up a young preacher, J. M. who came to me, and was helpful in the work. I continued in Shelburne, Barrington, and the adjacent settlements around, till Autumn; and our dear Lord did great things for many. [...]eing under a necessity to visit the East, I left [Page 216]J. M. to take care of the new-born children; and embarked for Liverpool; where there had been a blessed work under brother I. M. I think he informed me, that the Lord made use of the sudden death of our our worthy friend captain D. to begin this revival. I find a great alteration in this town. The first time I visited the people here, we only had seven communicants; the second time we had twenty; the third visit we had near forty; and now we have more than sixty. Many in this town were taught to believe, that none ought to communicate but such as have the witness of their justification. In my third visit, two women came to me on Saturday evening, and said, "we wish to commune to-morrow if we can get admittance." They said it was pressed on their minds as a duty. I believed they were mourning after a Saviour; and told them, I was willing that they should commemorate the death of that Saviour, whose most precious blood was shed for the remission of their sin [...] and desired them to expect a blessing at the table. That night my enemies got hold of it, and it ran through the town that I had admitted two unconverted women to the table. [Page 217]The next day we had a precious time at the communion, and the Lord visited the souls of those two women whilst at the table: the change seemed visible to many of the spectators—and our enemies when they heard of it, were ashamed. I went to Halifax, Windsor, Horton and Coruwallis, where I spent the winter; except a few excursions through a few other adjacent settlements. In [...]orton, this winter, I favorably hope the Lord did bless my weak endeavours—I preached the word with freedom in different parts of the town; and many were added to the society. There are many in that town that are near to me, and I shall not soon forget the kindness shewed me by Mr. and Mrs. C. Mr. and Mrs. S. and several others. O! that our good and gracious God may look on all those who shew kindness to his children; and grant them the sanctifying influence of his holy Spirit. I received a letter from Dr. Coke, in which I was requested to attend the Baltimore conference. It was with reluctance I came to this country; but I now feel a willingness to labor and suffer in the cause of God among this people. I came to Windsor, where I had [Page 218]great consolation. Mrs. S. was a woman of a most excellent spirit, and her husband was a very kind man. Dear Mrs. S. I understand has since gone to Abraham's bosom—she is amply compensated for all her labors of love— I was hungry, and ye fed me; naked, and ye clothed me; sick, and in prison, and ye came unto me—The members of Christ's body—his children—are near to him. I came to Halifax, where I found our good friend Mr. M. busily employed in building us a church. Of all the women whom I have met with, I have not found one more kind than Mrs M. but she is now no more: and my heart was glad, when I heard that her faith was strong in her last moments. I travelled, labored, and suffered in this country, a little more than two years. My dear Lord was with me by land and sea. After all, I am an unprofitable servant—my greatest wi [...] and desire is, to do something to promote the interest of my dear Lord's kingdom. Monday April 10, 1787, I bade my Halifax friends farewell; and so leaving my dear Nova-Scotians, embarked with captain Wilson for Boston. I think I left behind about 600 members of society.
SECTION XIII. THE CONCLUSION.
SUNDAY April 16, I preached in the cabin with freedom. The wind was high and contrary, so that for the preser [...]ation of our lives and vessel we came to anchor between two islands. I had an opportunity of preaching on each island; and gave a few books to the poor, and left many in tears, whose hearts the Lord had touched. On Wednesday 19, I landed in Boston: preached a few sermons with freedom, was kindly entertained by Mr. S. and on Monday 24, took the stage for Providence. Here I staid at Mr. S.'s, who is a godly Presbyterian minister.— The bell rang the next day at six o'clock, and I found freedom to preach. The [...]ening following I preached again to many serious hearers, in Mr. S.'s meeting-house. I had some conversation with a deist, who appeared to be good-natured in his way. I sailed to Newport, and had freedom in preaching two sermons there, [...] Mr. F.'s meeting-house, and the [...]her in Mr. T.'s; and the people behaved [...]ery well—A gentleman came to me after [Page 220]sermon, and said, "You have a great gift, but I will hear you no more; for your doctrine I do not like." From Newport I sailed to New-York, where I had an opportunity to preach in the Methodist church on Sunday April 30. After spending a few days agreeably there, I took a saddle-horse, and rode through the Jerseys, and had an agreeable time among my old friends; and so came to Philadelphia on Saturday.
On the Lord's-day, I found great freedom in preaching there to a people very near to me; and was rejoiced to find the church in a prosperous way. I then pursued my way to Baltimore: where many of the dear servants of God met in conference. It was the desire of Mr. Wesley and others, that I should be set apart for the superintendency of the work in Nora-Scotia—my mind was divided—man is a fallible creature—In the end I concluded not to leave the states; for thousands in this country are dear to me. On the [...] we had a blessed conference, and my [...] was to preside in the Penin [...].
Sunday May 14th, I preac [...] [...] the college; and after visiting some of my [Page 221]relations, I set out on my way to fulfil my appointment.
Friday 19th, I called on that loving society at Duck-creek-cross-roads, and had great freedom to preach the word.
Saturday 20th, I got to Mr. B.'s, and on Sunday preached with freedom in the Methodist church in Dover. I visited B. and P. and found them still in a backsliding state. This week was spent joyfully among a people whom I had not seen for a long time.
Sunday May 28, 1787. I preached in Tuckehoe church to about a thousand people. Many happy moments I have had in this Neck in years past, and we have not forgotten old tunes. A spiritual gale ran through the congregation—my consola [...]on and the consolation of the people was so great, that I appointed to preach in the same church the next day; and had near as many hearers as there were the day before. After sermon I rode on my way, and unexpectedly met a congre [...]ion of about an hundred, who came out to me [...] me as I passed; I preached a short [...] to them: and went to colonel H.'s, where I was rejoiced to meet brother C. and [Page 222]many others of my old friends; and had great freedom in a lecture on the parable of the prodigal son, to a crowded audience who assembled in the evening.
Tuesday 30th. At Talbot court-house I was surprised to see the gathered multitude from all quarters. I suppose there were above five hundred more than our little chapel could hold. Lord, keep me humble! I fear many had a greater desire to see the servant, than to partake of the crumbs from the Master's table. Many were disappointed, for I had very little liberty. The people in this part of the country seem as if they would be all Methodists. It is a small thing to be a Methodist in name only; but it is a great thing to love the Lord with all the heart, and our neighbour as ourselves.
Wednesday 31. In the forenoon I preached to that little persecuted flock at brother R.'s; and in the afternoon, I had a blessed time at the Bayside-chapel. I preached in Miles-river Neck; and the day following about four hundred attended my ministry at Bolingbroke chapel. This society will not hold their fellow-creatures in bondage. A great harmony subsists among [Page 223]those people, and I feel my heart united to them.
Saturday June 3. I crossed the river into Dorset, a place where I desired to be. Sunday 4. At brother M.'s I met so large a congregation, that I was under a necessity of withdrawing to the shade for room. Some time ago there was a great work of the Lord in this Neck; but I am informed the work is now rather at a stand. What is the cause? Those preachers whose labors the Lord particularly blest in this revival, were lively and powerful; and there was much of what some call wild-fire among the people: the cries of the distressed were frequently so great, that the preacher's voice was drowned. I was informed that those people had been visited by some, who had but little friendship for what some call hollowing meetings; and the work began to decline. The danger lies on both hands; and blessed is he who knows how to steer aright. I am never distressed in hearing convinced sinners crying for mercy; though they were to cry so loud as to be heard a mile. And I doubt not, but the children of the Lord are so happy at times, that they are almost carried out of themselves, [Page 224]and constrained to shout forth his praises.
Sunday June 11, I preached in our new chapel on Taylor's island to abundantly more people than the chapel could contain. Many on this island love God.
Tuesday 13, I preached on Hooper's island, and we had a precious shower. Before our meeting ended five souls were new-born; three of whom were sisters. There were many awakened at this meeting; and great cries were amongst the distressed. There was as little confusion as I have ever seen, where there was so great a power felt.
I continued in the Peninsula till May 1788; during which time I was seldom a day without preaching, and frequently twice or thrice in a day; and that with great freedom. I cannot say that there was an universal gathering; but I trust the church was edified and built up in the faith. During this year, I travelled through and preached in every county on the Eastern-Shore, which are three of Virginia, three of Delaware, and eight of Maryland.
[Page 225] It was on my mind to go to Boston, and with the approbation of Mr. F. A. I set out on my journey in May 1788. When I got to New-York, I found brother H. at the point of death. The harvest being great and the laborers few, I was prevailed on by brother D. to stay till the York conference, which was to be held in October. During which time I staid mostly in the city; except some excursions through Long-Island and New-Rochelle circuits. Before the sitting of conference, I had received invitations from a variety of places; and letters came to conference, in which we were intreated to send help to several places. I was conscious to myself, that it was not expedient for me at that time to pursue my way to Boston; though I had an eye to that place.
At the conference I was appointed to take charge of the Northern district; which at that time consisted of New-York, Long-Island, and New-Rochelle circuits. After conference ended, I set out to the North with about twelve young preachers to form circuits; and our dear Lord opened our way in a most surprising manner: although much evil was said of us. Many houses, [Page 226]hands, and hearts were opened; and before the commencement of the winter, we had several large circuits formed; and the the most of the preachers were comfortably situated; and sinners in a variety of places began to enquire, what they should do to be saved.
Satan and his children were much alarmed, and began on every hand to throw out threats against us. Some said, "They are good men;" others said, "Nay, they are deceivers of the people." A stranger from the new state on his way down the country, informed the people that we were spread all through the country through which he came. This sudden and universal spread caused some person to say, "I know not from whence they all come, unless from the clouds." Others said, "The king of England hath sent them to disaffect the people; and they did not doubt, but they would bring on another war." Whilst others gave it as their opinion, that we were the false prophets spoken of in scripture, who should come in the last days, and deceive, if it were possible, the very elect. Among others, the ministers of the different denominations were alarmed, fearing [Page 227]lest we should break up their congregations; and frequently coming to hear, some of them openly opposed, declaring publicly that the doctrine was false. The power of the Lord attended the word, and a great reformation was seen among the people; and many were enabled to speak freely and feelingly of what God had done for their souls. My custom was to go round the district every three months, and then return to New-York; where I commonly staid about two weeks. In going once round I usually travelled about a thousand miles, and preached upwards of an hundred sermons.
Tuesday June 9, 1789. I left New-York accompanied by brother N. to East-Chester; and in the evening had an opportunity of hearing Mr. F. A. and Mr. W. and the word was powerfully felt. The next day I accompanied them to New-Castle; and sat with delight under the word. The morning following we parted; and the remainder of the week I spent mostly in writing.
Sunday 14. I found liberty in preaching to a solemn company in our new church at New-Castle, on Naaman's cleansing; [Page 228]and in the afternoon I heard brother L. at Bedford; and closed the meeting with an exhortation. Here we joined a society. The people were brought up in the Calyinian line, but many are convinced that such a system does not reflect glory on the Deity; and they are willing to flee from it, though there are two ministers who use their strength in opposition.
Monday 15th, I found great freedom to preach to a loving society, formed by brothers M. and B. at Mr. H.'s, and had reason to believe that many of them were engaged for the salvation of their precious souls. Their singing was delightful.
Tuesday 16th. In the morning I found my mind free in preaching the word at Stony-street church; and in the evening the Lord was with us at the English church at Peak's-kiln; and I had a comfortable night at G. C.'s. This is an affectionate family; and they seem very attentive to the word of the Lord.
Wednesday 17th, I rode ten miles and preached to a people gathered from the mountains; and then went to brother J.'s, about twenty miles, and had great liberty in the word. There seemed to be a silent [Page 229]struggling among the people, whilst I endeavoured to dwell on the deep things of God. I visited dear brother Cook, and found him near death. But his soul was happy in God his Saviour.
Thursday 18th. Accompanied by a friend twenty-five miles, I met brother F. A. and brother W. at doctor B.'s, where I heard a good sermon and an encouraging exhortation; as I also did the day following. Saturday we parted, and I had a tedious day.
Sunday 21. The sun this morning arose with his usual lustre, and dispersed light through all the lower creation. Jesus, the much brighter sun, was precious to me. I preached in a barn, in the morning, at Ryn [...]b [...]ck; then rode 8 miles lower down, and preached in another barn, and had great liberty; and sound a few whose hearts the Lord had touched when I was there before. I returned and preached again at six o'clock: but fear the word had no place in the hearts of the hearers—I was much distressed—dear Lord! man is weak. But when thou displayest thy convincing power, the work is done. I rode to and spent the most of this week in the city of Hudson. [Page 230]In this place I have had some sweet moments, and been greatly encouraged; but I now feel the need of patience—have I spent so much labor for nought? Have none been benefited by my ministry in this place? Some have been made angry, but a few also have been benefited—I am clear in the matter, having warned, invited, and handed out the promises with tears. So I let the matter rest with the Lord, who said, O Jerusalem! how oft would I have gathered you, and ye would not?
Monday 29. Accompanied by one of the preachers, I rode on to brother B.'s, and on my way I stopped and preached in a cool summer-house made of green boughs, to near two hundred precious souls, who seemed to drink in the word. I am fully convinced (and it is an observation which I have made these many years) that poor people in general are more fond of the gospel than the rich. And this is agreeable to the doctrine of our Lord. I had a precious, sweet time among those people. More than twelve months ago I was solicited to preach among them; but never had an opportunity till now.
[Page 231] Tuesday 30. I preached in Mr. V. D.'s large barn to many serious hearers; and perceived that the Lord was carrying on a work on the patent by the instrumentality of brother C—, a young preacher who had just entered the field.
Wednesday I rode 14 miles to Albany. Some time ago I petitioned the assembly (as they were then sitting) for liberty of the city-hail; access to which I have had ever since; but many in the city seem much set against the Methodists. The hearts of a few were touched, and several joined in a society which has gradually increased ever since.
Sunday July 5, I preached in Schenectady at 10, and at 3 o'clock in the English church, and in the evening in a spacious hall, and had great hope that good would be done in the town. Prejudice hath taken deep root in the hearts of these people; at present, I fear, there is very little vital piety in the place.
Monday July 6. I set out on a journey to the North, and on my way I overtook an old gentleman, who said, "I expect you are a minister. O! it is a blessed work, if you are called to it. I am a follower [Page 232]lower of Christ, and know my peace made with God." How, said I, do you know that? "By the spirit which he has given me." Do you, said I, know that your sins are forgiven? "O yes." Do you, said I, live in sin? "Yes, we are all sinners." Pray, said I, how can you know your sins forgiven, if you live in sin? "I have the imputed righteousness of Christ, and it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwells in me." Don't you, said I, swear sometimes? "Swear, yes, and have been drunk too, many times since I was made a new creature, but my comfort is, I cannot fall." What, said I, would become of your soul, if you were to die drunk? "Die drunk! what would you think to see the sun fall? was it ever known that a saint died drunk? impossible!" Well, said I, according to your doctrine, if you always keep yourself intoxicated with strong liquor, you will never die. Sin made man mortal; but I cannot find from scripture that drunkenness makes him immortal. "Sir," said he, "I perceive you are a rank Arminian, and I would not go the length of my foot to hear you preach, for you are an accuser of the brethren; and hold out a very uncomfortable [Page 233]doctrine to God's dear children." Pray, said I, what denomination do you profess? "I am an old Englishman, and a convert of Mr. Whitefield's, and a New-Light by profession, from the sole of my foot to the crown of my head." After I endeavoured to set his danger before him, I wished him well; and riding thirty miles I found great liberty to preach my dear Lord's gospel, from the language of the gaoler, What shall I do to be saved?
I travelled and preached through the country, and many gathered to hear the word; but many were much afraid of being deceived by a false prophet, so termed by some. I preached in Ash-grove, where w [...] have many kind friends who have built us a church. When I first came into this settlement, I found some emigrants from Ireland, who had been acquainted with the Methodists; but there were very few of them, who retained the power of religion: though I soon perceived, that the doctrine was as a salve to a festering wound. Backfliders were healed, and many who had never been acquainted with those men before, were brought to experience the faith which justifies the ungodly. In several places in [Page 234]this circuit, the Lord made D. D. instrumental in the conversion of souls.
Saturday and Sunday were the days of our quarterly meeting; and a precious sweet time we had. It was held in brother R.'s barn, and I think we had an addition of about twenty communicants. I baptized eight adults in the house, and one by immersion; also several children. We had about two hundred present at the lovefeast, most of whom were young converts. In the evening I had a conversation with a woman who informed me, that she was brought to experience the love of God not far from Boston; and being surrounded by the Baptists, they strove to persuade her to renounce her infant baptism, and enter more deep into baptismal water. By their continual solicitations and arguments, her mind became confused, so that she was in doubt respecting the matter, and earnestly prayed to the Lord to shew her his will.— One night after she had thus prayed, she went to bed, and not long after her eyes were closed in sleep, she thought she saw our dear Lord with his arms extended and an infant presented to baptism. She awoke without a doubt or fear, respecting the validity [Page 235]of infant baptism. Some time after this, in the state of Vermont, she had an opportunity of hearing the Methodists, who, she immediately perceived, preached the same doctrine which the Lord had taught her; and she had never before met with a people with whom she could join.
Monday July 14. After I had ended my visit through Cambridge circuit, I came to Albany, where I met the small society; and the next day rode to doctor H.'s. My horse being very lame, and I not able to get another for a few days, either for love or money, I set out on foot; and after I had walked near twenty miles, I came to Spence-town, with my same horse hopping behind me; and had at captain S.'s a precious, sweet time among the people. In spite of all the opposition, our gracious God has carried on a blessed work around this place. Tuesday I preached in Sheffield, where I was greatly opposed; but the Lord has plucked a few brands from the burning. The day following I dined at colonel B.'s, of Canaan: and in the afternoon held forth in the Presbyterian meeting-house. The people of this town are mild and catholic. Their former minister (Mr. T.) was [Page 236]a catholic man, and did not do as some have done, prejudice and harden the hearts of the people against other denominations, especially Arminians, as we are called. Our dear Lord, by the instrumentality of brother W. brother B. and others, has convinced and converted a number of souls in different parts of this town; so that at present we have several [...]asses.
Saturday 18, our quarterly meeting began. Souls are flocking to Jesus. The number of disciples increases. Jesus rode in his gospel-chariot in Mr. C.'s barn on the Lord's-day, whilst I was declaring, The ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion, &c. Brother B. assisted me in the administration of the supper. In this part of our Lord's vineyard, many have been much troubled with Antinomianism; but the dismal gloom is vanishing away.— I continued round on my regular plan, till on Thursday July 23, I came to Sharon, where I was met by a number of precious souls, to whom I preached in the afternoon in the open air, for want of room in the house. Surely the Lord has a work to do in this town. Mr. S. says we are leading [Page 237]souls to hell: but, blessed be God, many will not believe it.
Friday 24. This was a sweet morning to my soul—I continued writing successively till two o'clock exclusive of some intervals. The day passed sweetly away.— When I looked at my watch, I perceived I had scarce time to get to my appointment; and rose from my seat in haste. The man of the house had gone out, and left the horse tied in the meadow by a long rope, to be handy when I wanted him. I took the bridle and went out, in order to make ready for my journey: and not considering him to be a borrowed horse (mine was too lame to be used) when I took hold of the rope, and began to gather him to me, he was seared, and began to run; and by some means I was entangled in the rope —how it was I cannot tell, but I felt myself in the utmost distress: I lay by the fence bereft of the use of my senses, as well as limbs. For a long time I could not tell who, or what, or where I was; till at length I saw in my hat (as I had been striving to get it to lay my head on) the two first letters of my name, and knew who I was; and immediately called on the name [Page 238]of the Lord, who gave me power to rise up, and walk to the house. A physician was immediately sent for; and when he came, he found me much bruised, my right shoulder dislocated, and almost every joint in my hands and arms much strained. After my shoulder was set, and blood let, I was restored perfectly to my senses. Many of the neighbours gathered in: and I think in all my life I never had a greater sense of those words, Thou shalt love the Lord with all thy heart. Those around expected me to die. But as I lay on my bed I was constrained to cry out, Perfect love casteth out fear. Now, said I, I know there is a reality in the religion which I have been recommending to others for these many years; as well as a truth in the Methodist doctrine, so called. I had such a love for the doctrine and cause, that it seemed as if I would freely have gone to the stake for it. I did not dare to murmur; but cried out, Lord, it is good for me to be afflicted. I was never more reconciled to the dealings of a good and gracious God. I was constrained, and that in a flood of tears, to exhort all those around to fly to Jesus: for I saw a fulness in him [Page 239]for every creature. But one thing induced me to indulge a desire to stay longer in this world; and that was to be instrumental in doing good in the church.
Saturday 24. I desired a friend to make ready a carriage, for I had a longing desire to attend the Dover quarterly meeting.— That evening I got as far as Oblong, where I lodged at the house of an old doctor, and received much strength, and in the morning I got to Dover church, and was enabled to administer the supper to many of God's dear children: and afterward to preach with great liberty. I was attended by brother L. to my appointments, till I got to North-Castle; where I thought it most expedient to decline attending my New-England appointments, for I could by no means ride on horse-back; and the roads were too rough for a chaise; and withal I could only get in and out with help; and that with a degree of pain. I withdrew to the city of New-York, where I staid about ten days, and then met my appointment on Long-Island, and had a precious, sweet season. After I had fulfilled my appointments on the island, on Wednesday August 19, accompanied by a friend, I returned to [Page 240]the city, and had a favorable hope that any affliction was sanctified for my good; and it also proved a blessing to some in [...]he town where it happened. Surely the Lord is preparing me for some severe trial. The church in this city is gaining ground under the ministry of brother M. and brother C.
Sunday 23. I was resolved, God being my helper, to devote this day without reserve to him: and was very happy both in public and private. I preached two sermons, and several hours past away in solitude.
Friday August 28th. Having finished a piece of writing, I again set out on my journey round the district, and found a gradual gathering to the church in almost every place; the society-members, as well as communicants, greatly increased. My mind was much exercised frequently; but I could find my all in the Lord Jesus. In my return I visited several towns in Connecticut, to which I had not been before, and found enlargement of heart to preach among the people.
Thursday November 19th, I returned to New-York, on my way to the council held [Page 241]in Baltimore: which journey was rendered a great blessing to me. When I left Baltimore I was resolved, God being my helper, to be more than ever engaged in the glorious work; and it was my earnest prayer, that, as in the South, the flame might break forth with us. I felt something of it in Philadelphia; and when I came to New-York, I preached with an enlargement which I had never felt in that city before; and had faith to believe, that the brethren would have glorious times; and so it was; for a few days after I left the city, the work, in a most extraordinary manner, broke out: first in a prayer [...]eeting, and then in the congregation; and I saw and felt something of the same [...]ame, in many places round the district, in my winter visitation.
I had to encounter a variety of difficulties. In common the church-people do not oppose us in doctrine; but in this place, where we had a good society, one of this order of men went and preached, and spread books, and the minds of several were much confused; and they concluded they would not commune with us any more — I preached from these words, We preach not [Page 242]ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your servants for Jesus's sake. When our dear Lord sent out his servants, he said, Lo, I am with you to the end of the world. Who is he with? the Pope? the carnal bishop? By no means. He will be with all his faithful ministers of all denominations, even to the end of the world. Our Lord displayed his power, and there was a shaking among the people; and those wavering ones had their doubts removed, and drew near to the table. "It is a pity," said one, "that you ever separated from the church." It is a greater pity, said I, for the church people, so called, to live without inward religion: should there [...] a reformation and turning to God, among your ministers and people, we shall stand a better chance to come together. I was brought up in the church, and have a great affection for it; and it would do me much good to hear of a turning to God among the members.
June 2, 1790, I set out on a journey to Boston, and so round the district. And on Tuesday I preached with liberty at New-Rochelse, from, O my dove, who art in the cleft of the rochs, &c. My greatest freedom [Page 243]in the subject was when I inforced, let [...] see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice, for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely. Crowds attended the word. On Sunday I suppose there were a thousand under the word at Bedford, whilst I inforced, Friend, how camest thou in hither, not having on a wedding garment? The day before, a multitude gathered in King-street; as soon as I entered the house, I saw a man who was almost dead with the colic: I desired him to drink a pint of cold water; and when he had taken it, his pain was gone. Monday 7, I cried to a listening multitude, All scripture is given by inspiration of God, &c. The next day the house was crowded, and about an hundred without. The people seemed to drink in every word. Wednesday I declared to a solemn company at Singsing, Now the just shall live by faith, &c. And in the evening at G. C.'s I had much freedom to preach the word. Thursday 10, Oakley's church was filled from end to end. I had much satisfaction in explaining the first psalm. In the evening I found great freedom to declare, He that is born of God doth not commit sin, for his seed remaineth in him; and he [Page 244]cannot sin because he is born of God. David lost the seed of grace out of his heart, before he committed the act of adultery: no doubt he was an adulterer in his heart before he left the house-top. If we keep ourselves, that evil one cannot hurt us.— We passed on over the Fishkiln mountains, through Oswego, Rynebeck, and Ninepartners; and had an opportunity, every day, to preach the glorious gospel to hundreds of precious souls.
Sunday 20. About a thousand met in Sharon, and I found it to be an high day.
Monday 21. In Cornwall I trust several were awakened; one in particular who did not rest till he found peace to his soul. The next day I unexpectedly met a large congregation in the English church in Litchfield; I found freedom in preaching from, Enoch walked with God, Gen. v. 22. I went and preached in the Presbyterian meeting-house about two miles off: and our heavenly Father has raised us up some good friends. The next day I preached in the skirts of the town, from, Whom he did foreknow, &c. Here I met with trouble from a disputations Antinomian; however, I went on, and preached at the house of a [Page 245]good-natured drunkard, and talked to him about his soul. His wife and daughter are lovers of our blessed Lord.
Monday 28, I preached to about five hundred people in Hertford with satisfaction. Thursday July 1. After a tedious journey we came to Boston. I preached several sermons, and had no doubt but the Lord will, sooner or later, give us a people in this place. From Boston I went to Providence, and staid a few days; and preached several sermons with liberty. On Monday morning I preached my farewell sermon a little after sunrise, to more than two hundred people. I have great fellowship with Mr. S. as a Christian minister, and several of his people, as followers of Christ; for they appeared like Methodists to me. I have some reason to believe that my journey to this town was not in vain, for as I went out, some met me in tears desiring to know what they should do to be saved.
I again passed through Parmington, Litchfield, Cornwall, and Canaan; and was happy to converse with many new-born souls. A woman in Canaan told me, that about seven years ago, a man of a low stature [Page 246]came to her one night when she was asleep, dressed in black, and as she thought surrounded with a light brighter than the sun; he took out a book, and enquired for her name; and she saw him write it down in golden capitals; and told her that if she was faithful in the service of God, she should have a crown of life. In the morning she told her husband the dream, and that she should surely see that man. "I went to hear every strange minister who came into the town," said she, "and saw not the man till you came." And she knew me as well as if she had been acquainted with me seven years; and no doubt but the doctrine which I preached was the light which she saw around me. And when she went home, she told her husband that she had now seen the man.
I continued my journey through Hudson and Queman's; from whence a distressed man followed me to Albany, and under the word he found peace to his soul. In Albany I have encountered many difficulties, in raising a little church; which is now likely to be finished. I held a quarterly-meeting at Cli [...]-park; and from thence [Page 247]advanced toward the new state; and found the work increasing in most of the societies. I had one and sometimes two quarterly meetings to attend every week; and many were encouraged to press on in the narrow way. Having finished my rout, in October I returned again to New-York: where conference was held. At this conference our new Northern district was divided; and I have continued in the Albany district ever since. I have met with trials of a peculiar nature, part of which I once thought I never should have encountered. I wish at all times to be resigned to the will of my heavenly Father—hitherto I have had an heart to bless them that curse me, and pray for those who persecute and despitefully use me. One thing I have taken notice of, which in some instances has been admirable. More than two thousand have joined the society—more than a thousand have been really born of the Spirit—more than eight thousand have been brought to see in a measure the propriety of our doctrine and discipline, and a reformation in a [...] of places has taken place—hundreds, if not thousands, in the back settlements, who were not able to give an hundred [Page 248]a year to a minister, and could seldom hear a sermon, may now hear a sermon at least once in two weeks; and sometimes oftener—withal some of the ministers have lowered their salaries, and are more assiduous in their labors. If you will take pains to enquire among them, at least some can tell you that their congregations are larger; and where they had one, now they have two church members.
Respecting the doctrine taught among the Methodists, I have not doubted of the truth of it, no, not for a minute since I first embraced it. Respecting other denominations, I am willing to think, and let think; but this I say, I would not have any one be of this or the other persuasion merely because their parents brought them up in that belief. Touching unconditional election and reprobation, I never did believe it; and I am persuaded I never shall whilst I retain the use of my reason. What! to suppose that the Judge of the whole earth should unconditionally from eternity, destine part of the human race to eternal flames! If any man can persuade me to believe it, then it will not be a hard matter to make me believe, that he has unconditionally [Page 249]set apart a select number (whom he calls the elect) for eternal felicity: and of course do what they will, it is impossible for them to lose their election, or as some term it, fall from grace. If this in reality be the plan of the gospel, I acknowledge myself to have lived to the present time a stranger to it. I have not conversed with any man, since I have been acquainted with men and things, that could be consistent in supporting such a doctrine. And thus it is that they so often contradict themselves. The holy scriptures have a beautiful harmony when rightly understood. God spoke a number of intelligences, called angels, into existence—beings capable of using aright, or abusing their moral agency—many of them did the latter, and were justly punished. God also made a creature, [...]alled man; and surely, though he was li [...]ble to fall, yet he was capable of standing; the former he chose, and incurred the just displeasure of his Creator. And in justice Jehovah might have punished Adam and Eve with eternal punishment for their own actual rebellion. And as the sin of their posterity was a seminal sin, so their punishment would have been a seminal punishment. [Page 250]Sing, O heavens! and give ear, O earth!—Instead of hell, we hear the voice of the eternal God in the garden to Adam and his whole posterity, The seed of the woman shall bruise the serpent's head. I saw, said St. John, in the right hand of him that sat on the throne, a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals. Though there was not any finite creature, either in heaven or earth, able to open the book—to undertake the redemption of man—the Son of God, the second person in the ever adorable Trinity, appeared as a lamb slain from th [...] foundation of the world. This precious Saviour was promised for Adam and Eve, and their whole posterity. As said the angels to the shepherds, Behold, I bring you glad tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
In the first Adam we lost our will an [...] power to do good. In Christ, the second Adam, we are graciously restored both to a will and power; and with a great degre [...] of propriety, the Lord may say, choose life that you may live. Cain's punishment was just, for sin laid at his own door. Moses mad [...] a wife choice. Paul was not disobedient to the heavenly vision. The blind [Page 251]man went to the pool and [...] meus cast away his garment, [...] to Jesus. And we are exho [...] [...] Lord and his apostles, to repent and [...] the gospel. O Jerusalem! Jerusalem! saith our Lord, how oft would I have gathered you, &c. I have called, but ye have refused, &c. Behold, now is the accepted time, &c. The blessed Spirit, whilst we have a day of grace, is always ready. I stand at the door and knock, &c. Sinner, hear the voice of the eternal God, and lay aside your vain excuses. No longer cry out, I can do nothing. For if you are not careful, you will do enough to damn your precious soul. We offer Christ to all upon earth, who have not sinned away their day of grace. Why, O! why should people be angry with us for preaching deliverance to poor captive souls—souls that are fallen—souls for whom Christ died—souls that must porish everlastingly without a change—Christ has merited every thing we need—Oh! then, dear souls, comply with his conditions—repent, believe, obey, and you shall live. The privilege of a Christian [...] be made holy. God hath promised [...] faithful people. I wish to sit at the [...] of [Page 252] [...] and if any one should re [...] [...]fit from what I have pub [...] world, give God the glory, [...] your unworthy servant sits as in the dust, earnestly praying to God, that he may ever be humble and faithful.