No. 1. TO MR. JAY.

PROBABLY you may be surprised at this letter, when you are informed that it comes from the person, whom Mr. T. Adams recommended to your pro­tection in Philadelphia: The anxiety which that worthy friend has always disco­vered for my interest, will ever claim my warmest gratitude; and I am far from esteeming his recommendation of me to you, as a trivial instance of friendship. You were, (I doubt not) surprised at not hearing from me in America: I was, all she last summer, in a very ill state of health; but never had the least idea that my Guardian had neglected to inform you of my situation, and return the thanks due to your generosity: Soon after my recovery, I was much chagrined at receiving a message from Mr. Fleming, of Virginia, that ‘you were to sail immediately; but if my friends chose to send me to Europe, you would take care of me.’ I then prevailed on my Guardian, to let me follow you; and, in a short time, em­barked on board a ship bound to Bourdeaux, but was driven into this port by distress of weather, about the middle of February. For some time after my ar­rival, I could hear nothing of you; and had the greatest reason to believe the Confederacy lost; but at length was informed of your safe arrival in Spain: I acquainted Doctor Franklin with my situation, and he advised me to write to you, and remain in France, till you instructed me how to proceed: This I should have done before, had I certainly known where to direct. I shall be much obliged to you to write to me as soon as possibly, as I find it very expensive in this country. [Page 4]Be pleased to direct your letter to the care of Mr. Bonfield, in Bourdeaux, where I shall reside till it comes to hand. I have the honor to be, with the greatest re­spect, Sir, your grateful, and much obliged humble servant,

No. 3. TO MR. JAY.

YOUR favor of the 3d of April, reached me a few days past at Nantz. I ar­rived but yesterday in this city, and have now the agreeable prospect of being with you in a shout time. My long residence at Nantz, was on Mr. Bonfield's acc [...], whose affairs would not permit him to leave the place sooner; tho' it was really inconvenient to me for several reasons; as my expectation; of departing every day, obliged me to take temporary lodgings in a Hotel, which unavoidably incurred a double expence, and prevented me from studying the language with necessary ap­plication. I am exceedingly obliged to you for your offer of supplies, but for­tunately bad letters of credit to Nantz: I was at first apprehensive of being obliged to go to Paris, to M. Beaumarchais; but the gentlemen, to whom I was recom­mended, have offered to advance whatever may be necessary for the expences of my journey. The only opportunity that at present seems to occur for my getting to Madrid with conveniency, is, in the company of an Envoy from the Court of Hungary to Spain, who is daily expected in Bourdeaux. Should I be disappointed in this, fortune must direct me. My most respectful compliments to your Lady, (who I have heard is with you.) I am, Sir, your much obliged, and very grate­ful humble servant,

NO. 4. To MR. JAY.

MR. Bonfield yesterday informed me, that he had received a letter from you, with permission for me to remain some time longer in France: My peculiar situa­tion, since my arrival in this country, has unfortunately prevented me from an as­sidious application to acquire the French language grammatically. I have bad little or no society with the natives of France, who were unacquainted with the British language; and all that I have as yet attained, is a superficial knowledge of a few words, sufficient perhaps for a traveller.

In consequence of your last letter to Mr. Bonfield, I shall this day leave Bour­deaux, and reside at the country seat of a gentleman, some leagues distant; where it will be less difficult to acquire the French pronunciation. If you business will permit, I shall be happy to receive a few lines from you, and hope you will ever believe me to be, Sir, your very respectful, and obedient humble servant,

No. 5. FROM MR. JAY.

YOUR favor, of the 30th ult. has been delivered to me. It gives me pleasure to hear you are in a French gentleman's family.—You will there have an oppor­tunity of learning pronunciation as well as grammar. As you will doubtless read French books, I think it would be well to chuse such as would teach you things as well as language; and of things, there are few more useful than those which lead to a knowledge of mankind. History and memoirs are of this class; of the latter, the memoirs of the late Marshal Duke "Memoirs politiques et militaires," published by Abbé Millot. D'Noailles merit attention. They respect recent and important transactions. I am, dear Sir, your most obedient servant,

No. 6. TO MR. JAY.

YOUR favor, of the 16th of June, agreeably interrupted my application to the barren rudiments of the French language: All the polite assiduities of the worthy family in which I reside, have been able to render my situation little bet­ter than a pleasing hermitage. Unacquainted with the principles of their tongue, without society, or even one companion; you may suppose, I feel rather sensibly the change from dissipation and the amusements of a populous city. The memoirs of Noailles are not to be procured in this place; but as your advice was in general terms, I presume any productions of the same kind, are to be understood as equally instructive. My present study is the history of France; tho' I have lately perused some of Voltaire's works, and a few moral and political performances of Marmontelle.—I find the French language extremely difficult, both from irregula­rity and redundancy: to acquire in a few months a sufficient collection of elegant words in a foreign language, is an evident impossibility, and was never my expec­tation: I flatter myself, that my present knowledge of its fundamental principles, will enable me hereafter, to read with some degree of satisfaction its most useful authors: If you have no objection, I would proceed immediately to Madrid. Be pleased to write to me and let me know your sentiments. I am, with the greatest respect, Sir, your humble servant,

P. S. If you think it more advantageous for me to remain in this kingdom, till I acquire the language in any tolerable degree of propriety, my residence here must be at least the remainder of this year.

No. 7. FROM MR. JAY.

I HAVE had the pleasure of receiving your savor of the 15th ult. You will, in my opinion, find the French language very important to you:—In your pre­sent situation, you may easily acquire a degree of proficiency in it, very difficult to attain here.—It therefore appears to me most adviseable, that you should confine your attention to it a little longer;—such another opportunity may not offer—Do nothing by halves.

The opinion I have imbibed of you, renders me solicitous to see you, and will unite with my esteem and regard for your friends, in inducing me to be instrumen­tal to your fulfiling their expectations, and being useful to your country.—You have a wide and glorious field before you; and virtue, learning and prudence, will enable you to reap laurels in it.—Never let these three objects be separated,— cultivate them, and you will have reason to value their friendship:—They will render you useful and respectable here, and what is of most importance, happy hereafter. I am, dear Sir, your most obedient servant,

No. 9. FROM MR. JAY.

I AM sorry to find, by your letter of the 30th and 31st ult. that you was so much indisposed. I hope your little voyage has, by this time, re-established your [...] alth,

[Page 9] Your reasons for coming on to Madrid, concur with my sentiments. Butdont be­gin your journey till you have strength to bear it. If you can conveniently do it, bring for me either a Bailey or Chambaud's French and English Dictionary; the latter if to be had. I am, dear Sir, your most obedient servant,

No. 10. TO MR. JAY.

YOU will receive this from the hand of my Nephew, Lewis Littlepage, the youth whom you was so kind as to promise my friend, Mr. Thomas Adams, to take into your care. I have a proper sense of your favor, Sir, and hope he will behave in such a manner, as to deserve your patronage. I should have sent him to you before your departure from Philadelphia, but was prevented, by his falling into a bad state of health, from which he did not recover in time. Inclosed you will find some of his performances, by which you may judge of his genius for poetry. The elegy on the death of his friend, Col. Fleming, was wrote by him at the age of fifteen years and three months; the ode on death, and the translation of Ho­race's ode, a few months after. I shall be anxious to hear how he answers your expectations. He fails for Bourdeaux, where he will be accommodated by a Merchant, and forwarded to M. Beauma [...]ais, at Paris, and by him, or M. Ge­rard, will be sent to you at Madrid. Those gentlemen are desired to draw upon you, for whatever they may advance for him; which be pleased to pay, and it shall be punctually returned, by your much obliged, and most obedient humble servant,

No. 11. FROM MR. JAY.

MR. Littlepage delivered me your favor of the 20th of November, 1779, on his arrival here from France, a few weeks ago: He fully justifies the character given me of him by Col. Adams, and if he continues to ca [...]ivate his genius proper­ly, will one day do honor as well as service to his country and connections. As, be lives with me, his expences will be consmed to cloaths, pocket money and the [...] [Page 10]like. I shall, with great pleasure, make the necessary advances; though, I think it would be will, that I should be informed of the limits to which you would chuse they should be restricted. On the 26th of September last, he drew a bill on me for 2008 livres, which I have paid. From the specimens you send me, I think highly of his talent for poetry, which though not to be neglected, ought not, in my opinion, to be the first object of hi [...] care. I have advised him to turn his atten­tion principally, to such sciences, as tend most to qualify him for the law and politics. I also think, he ought to read men as well as books, and that the expence of doing it, is only putting money at interest. My endeavours shall not be wanting, to fix and confirm those liberal principles of morality and honor, which I find he has al­ready imbibed, and to extend his ambition beyond the limits of this life. I am, Sir, with great respect, your most obedient humble servant,

No. 12. TO MR. JAY.

NOTWITHSTANDING you friendly endeavors to dissuade me from my intention of accompanying the Duke of Crillon in the ensuing campaign, I find my inclination, honor, and let me add, my interest, too nearly concerned to admit the most distant idea of desisting. Perfectly convinced, however, of the generous and candid motives which influence your conduct, I think it indispensibly incumbent upon me to explain to you in the most serious manner my reasons for persevering.

In this unhappy aera of war and commotion, politicians and soldiers are equal­ly necessary: at a distance from my native country, and consequently incapable of serving it immediately in a military line, I think it still my duty to embrace every opportunity of acquiring a degree of experience, which may one day prove beneficial. Your partiality to my abilities induces you to suppose polities my proper sphere: Friendship seems more prevalent than judgment in that conjecture: My present object is the attainment of the Spanish language: the alternative is to retire to some village, or spend a few months in the army; thel atter is infi­nitely more agreeable, less expensive, and more consistent with my future plans of life.—Here, sir, permit me to call your attention to some minute particulars, relative only to myself.

Neither your friendship nor my own caution can, I find, protect me from the machinations of a powerful and insidious enemy: to his malicious insinuations I can alone impute that universal coldness, with which every person in the least influen­ced by him, continually avoids me. Suspicions to the prejudice of my character are infused into the minds of all who appear disposed to treat me with civility. Attempts have been, and are daily and hourly made, to irritate, and render me discon­tented with you; and at the same time to seduce me into pursuits which would tend to lessen your good opinion of my honor and morals. The most infamous falshoods [Page 12]have been reported even to yourself, ^* by the same perfidious and cruel author. Your SECRETARY, MR. WM. CARMICHAEL, is the person to whom I allude.

Justly incensed and disgusted at this unprovoked and inhumane treatment; ac­tuated by the most honorable and ardent desire of exculpating myself from asper­sions equally odious and illsounded, and of obtaining some degree of respect amongst my present deluded acquaintances, I have formed the design of entering, if possible, into the family of his grace of Crillon, and serving as a volunteer in the intended expedition from Cadiz. The connexions which I may there form; the reputation which only a decent line of conduct will inevitably procure; may, per­haps, convince the world that malice, not candor, could injure me. Mr. Carmi­chael at first warmly opposed my intention, but at present, for obvious reasons, sti­mulates me to it, with the most artful appearance of disinterested friendship.

Whether I shall succeed, or not, is as yet uncertain; but whatever may be the event, those considerations, maturely weighed, will, I hope, induce you to think more favorably of the design of your Excellency's most obedient, &c.

No. 13. FROM MR. JAY.

I HAVE considered your letter of to-day, with all the attention due to the im­portance and delicacy of the subject.

The general reasons you urge for resolving to persevere in the plan of accompa­nying the Duke of Crillon, on the expedition in question, are the same, which we before fully discussed in conversation. I must candidly assure you that my opinion remains unaltered. It cannot be necessary to repeat the reasons I assigned to you [Page 13]for withholding my consent and approbation. The conversations I had with your friend Mr. Adams on the subject, invariably led me to suppose, that law and poli­tics were to be your objects; and I considered your coming to Europe, as designed for the purpose of facilitating the attainment of them, by giving you opportunities of acquiring two useful languages, and of applying to such pursuits and studies, an might conduce to qualify you for the bar, and for public employments. My know­ledge of you persuades me that your friends were wise in proposing these objects to your attention, and therefore, tho' I admire the spirit which actuates you on this occasion, I cannot forbear disapproving your permitting it, to carry you out of the sphere proposed for you to move in. You was recommended to my care; I promised that you should receive it—hence it became my duty to assist you in the attainment of the objects before mentioned, but not to encourage or approve of your pursuing different ones. I know that you ought, and I advise you s [...]cadily to fol­low, wherever your duty may load you, without being deterred by dangers or evils of any kind whatever; and were it your duty to go on the proposed expedition, I should cease to esteem you, if you suffered any personal considerations to restrain you. You seem to admit that your duty does not require you to take this step; and I think you would do well to consider, how far it will AUTHORIZE it. This is a delicate subject—and yet the relations you stand in to your country, your family, and your friends, ought to be well weighed, before you embark in a measure, that may affect each of them. But you know my sentiments on all these points, having before dwelt minutely on them. All I can do is to give you my advice— this I have done fully and candidly. As to the minute particulars you mention; my feelings are too much awakened to hazard any other reflection on them at pre­sent, than that in my opinion you ought not at any rate, to let them drive you to such extremities. I shall be at leisure this evening, and shall then be glad to have a full and particular conversation As Mr. Littlepage's letter rather alluded to than stated several interesting facts, which in his prier conversation he had mentioned, Mr. Jay wished to talk them over with him again, thereby to fix them in his memory, and to be able to make memorandums of them; not thinking it prudent to object to the letter, or propose that Mr. Littlepage should either alter it, or write any thing further on the subject—He accordingly had this conversation with Mr. Littlepage, and after they parted, Mr. Jay made his memorandums. with you about them. I am, &c.

No. 15. FROM MR. JAY.

I hope this letter will find you safe at Cadiz and in as good plight as so fatigu­ing a journey may be expected to have left one, so little accustomed to riding post, as yourself.—Being at a loss how to direct my letters to your Uncle and Mr. Adams ^* I must beg the favor of you [...]o send me their addresses, and also those of Cols. Fleming and Mer. Smith.—Nothing new has occurred since you left us.—Mr. Harrison will enclose your answer to me.—We all present you our best wishes. I am, dear Sir, yours, &c.

No. 16. TO MR. JAY.

I ARRIVED here on Saturday last, after a very fatiguing and disagreeable journey: The extreme heat of the weather obliged us to hire a coach at Cordova. The General received me with the greatest cordiality and satisfaction, and has even honored me with the office of Aid de Camp. Our destination is yet unknown, tho' I begin to suspect it is not for Gibraltar. The expences of my journey, and those which I must still unavoidably incur, so greatly exceed my expectations, that I must absolutely request you to double my credit on Mr. Harrison, or my situation may be infinitely distressing. I entreat you to write immediately, or it will be too late. I am your Excellence's most obedient humble servant,

No. 17. TO MR JAY.

OUR destination is still unknown; Guichen this morning arrived here with eigh­teen sail of the line; which to me appears a corroborating proof that Minorca or Gibraltar, is the object; tho' most politicians suppose it to be America. The combined fleets at present consist of fifty-three sail of the line; among which are seven of three decks; every thing is preparing with the greatest expedition for our departure: The regiment of America, commanded by the Marquis de Pena­fiel yesterday arrived here: The troops in general seem admirably discipline: and I have the happiness to perceive that my worthy friend and commander, the Duke, is universally beloved by them: The behaviour of the people here, and of the officers in particular, to me, is polite and even cordial. My situation is so per­fectly changed, that I can scarce beleive myself to be in Spain, after what I expe­rienced at Madrid. Be pleased to present my compliments to the Chevalier Bour­goine, I hope he will excuse my not writing to him; as, the last post, I had so violent a return of my quartan, that my few lines to you were not finished without some extraordinary efforts: Dr. Craig's remedy, has however, again proved efficacious: (desire Peter to correct that orthography.) To day I have been en­gaged till the present moment.

Direct your letters to Mr. Adams, in Augusta county, Virginia; to my Uncle, in New-Kent: I really know not the address of Mr. Fleming, or Smith; how­ever, you may easily enclose letters for them to Mr. Adams.

I entreat you to write instantly, in answer to my last, the contents of which I [Page 22]must again repeat, (lest it should not have reached you.) My request was, that you would immediately send me a bill for at least 150 Dollars more: You never intended that I should be distressed, therefore, I am confident, cannot hesitate to comply.

My most respectful compliments to Mrs. Jay. I shall write to Col. Livingston the next post.—Adieu.—Yours &c. &c.

No. 18. TO MR. JAY.

YOUR omission to answer my letters on so pressing an emergency, I confess surprizes me, and would have been productive of the most distressing consequences, had not the timely generosity of Mr. Harrison relieved me. My expences since my arrival at this place have amounted to near 260 dollars; and Mr. Harrison has fur­nished me with 100 for the campaign. It is indeed a moderate, a very moderate allowance, considering my situation:—I am obliged to keep a servant at seven dol­lars and a half a month; and, when incamped, must maintain him as well as my­self, at my private expence. Should we besent to America, I shall, too probably, be reduced to a state of dependence on my companions; how far I may trust even their generosity is dubious.

I am to sail on board a frigate of forty guns, in company with the Marquis of Branche-forte; who is also an Aid de Camp of the Duke:—The last battalion of troops was embarked yesterday:—I shall go on board this evening:—Our desti­nation is still unknown. I have given Mr. Harrison a bill upon you for the above-mentioned sum, perhaps I may be obliged to apply to him for more. I am, dear Sir, yours, &c.

No. 19. TO MR. JAY.

FINDING the expences of my voyage likely to exceed my expectations, I have thought it most prudent to borrow fifty dollar, more from Mr. Harrison, exclusive of the sum mentioned in the bill.

No. 20. TO MR. JAY.

OUR passage to this place has been unusually long: We sailed the 22d ult. from Cadiz, and arrived here but yesterday. The British are all retired to the castle of St. Philip, and begin already to be very liberal of their powder. They consist of about 3,000 men, more or less: Gen. Murray is the commander in chief, Sir Wm. Draper the second.

I shall expect a letter from you by the gentleman who carries this: He will probably return immediately.

No. 21. FROM MR. JAY.

"Your favor of the 20th August, was sent me from Madrid, by Mr. Verdier, a few days ago. If the gentleman who brought it from Mahon is here, I shall re­quest the favor of him to be the bearer of this.

Present my congratulations to the Duke, on the success he has hitherto been blessed with; and assure him of my best wishes, that he may soon have the honor of planting the Spanish Standard on the walls of St. Philip.

Your are well spoken of, and I rejoice to hear it. Our affairs in America have a promising appearance, and there is reason to hope that one vigorous campaign would give to the associates in the war a peace worth their acceptance.

I wish to hear often from you— don't forget your friends in America—write to them frequently.—Mrs. Jay presents her compliments to you.

No. 22. TO MR. JAY.

A LETTER which I this day received from Mr. Harrison informs me, to my inexpressible surprise and concern, that your Excellency has protested my bills!— your long silence is no longer a mystery. I mean not to reproach you; your conduct may not deserve the appellation of ungenerous or cruel; it is, indeed, unexpected. Permit me, sir, to recal your attention to some circumstances which both preceded and were subsequent to my engaging in this unfortunate enterprise.

When I first communicated to you my intention of making this campaign, you endeavored to dissuaded me from it for two reasons—"as being contrary to the designs of my friends, and from personal danger:" For the first I look upon myself to be responsible: judge whether I ought to have been influenced by the latter.— [Page 24]You never objected the expence 'till after I had received the permission of his Majesty; 'twas then too late! My reputation, my honor, my all was at stake!— Why, in the name of humanity, why was not that mentioned, even hinted in the most distant manner, before? I expostulated with you, warmly perhaps, I hope not indecently, on that subject, as well as with regard to the credit you allowed me on Mr. Harrison; that, you restricted to six months pay for a captain of foot! This, sir, as I afterwards informed you, was a fatal regulation for me: a captain of cavalry in the Spanish service has forty reals a day, and forage; a volunteer aid de camp, in which capacity I have the honor to serve, has nothing and pays both for his horse and forage.

As to the 150 dollars on Mr. H. you assured me it was not from suspicions of my making an improper use of unlimited credit, but to justify you to my friends, should they disapprove my conduct; that it was by no means your design I should be distressed; on the contrary, should that happen, I might draw on you as my exigencies should require. 'Twas, sir, in consequence of this, that I ventured to draw on Mr. Harrison. I appeal to him whether I expended one penny unnecessa­rily.

Your conduct, perhaps, is influenced by apprehensions of loss, as you do not possess an opulent fortune.—I ear not, fir; 'tis true, I have obligations to some few valuable friends, but they shall never suffer: The generosity of an affectionate parent and a worthy deceased relation, have left me above dependence.

You, sir, was the cause of my leaving my friends and country; they confided me to your protection and support!—enough!—their expectations are answered.

I mean not to sollicit your farther assistance—that were meanness indeed!—mean­ness os which I am incapable!—No, sir!—except the duplicate of this which I shall send by the next post, you shall never more be troubled by your Excellency's most obedient and respectful, &c.

P. S. If there is any improprieties in this letter, be pleased to excuse them. I am almost delirious by a violent sever, which has confined me to my bed for two days. As I shall not return to Madrid, nor make any considerable stay at Cadiz, I desire you will immediately burn the cabinet of papers which I lest in your hands.

No. 23. FROM MR. JAY.

I HAVE received your letter of the 8th instant.

I have paid Mr. Harrison the money he advanced to you, as far as my letter of credit to him in your favor extended. Your bill upon me, drawn without my con­sent, for a sum beyond the limits of that credit, I did not accept.

[Page 25] It is true, sir, that I was so far the cause of your leaving your friends, as my offer­ing to receive you into my family, care, and protection, in case they should think proper to send you to Europe, might have been inducements. This offer was disinterested, and in my opinion as generous as my circumstances and my duty to those who stand in the nearest of all relations to me, would permit.

I then understood that your principal funds consisted in the generosity of a wor­thy uncle, and one or two other friends; and I had some reason to suppose, that the supplies with which they might be willing to furnish you, would, tho' equal to your necessary expences, be nevertheless such, as to require a constant attention to oeconomy; for I remember, that on speaking with Colonel Fleming, shortly before I left Philadelphia, about the probability of your following me, he told me that the difficulty of providing funds for the purpose, would be the principal obstacle; but this being a matter without my province, I could only desire him to assure your friends, that in case they should conclude to send you, they might depend on my taking care of you. Hence I have constanly thought myself particularly bound, ever since your arrival, to take care that these funds, so far as the disposition of them might depend upon me, should be confined to their proper objects, and not diverted to such foreign ones as might, from time to time, spring up in a warm and youthful fancy. I neither considered myself, nor did I suppose that you would consider me, merely in the light of your bancker.—I expected to receive you under my direction, as well as protection; and that the expences, which your friends might be willing to be at on your account, should be regulated, in a certain degree, by my judgment, as well as your's.

A moment's reflection ought to convince you, that no selfish considerations in­fluenced me to undertake this task. You was represented to me as a young gentleman whose talents and disposition merited better opportunities of improve­ment than those you had; and my regard for a rising genius opposed by difficul­ties, prompted me to patronize you, tho' a perfect stranger to me, and no way con­nected with any of my family.

With this view it was that my house and patronage were at first offered to you, and hence it was that I have, from time to time, taken the liberty of advising you with respect to the books and studies most proper for you, in my opinion, to read and to pursue. You may remember also, that in a conversation about your ex­pences, brought on by Mr. De Francy's letter, I shewed you your uncle's letter to me, remarking it's too great want of particularity on that head, and expressing my wishes that it had been more explicit; for that as I was ignorant of the ex­tent of your funds, it was impossible to determine the proper extent of your ex­pences, which I thought the more necessary, because, in my judgment, the plan of your education should be more or less extensive, in proportion as you might be more or less able to support the expence of it. I mention these circumstances to remind you, that I early considered myself in another light than that of your bancker.

[Page 26] When you first mentioned to me your plan of going a volunteer with the Duke de Crillon, and requested me to speak to him upon the subject, I well remember that the expence of it became one of the topics of the conversation which then ensued; and I am surprised you should forget that you urged the cheapness of the plan as an argument to reconcile me to it. You observed particularly to it, that if you should be admitted into the Duke's family, you would have scarce any other expence than that of regimentals; and that it would not only be a more ex­peditious and agreable, but also a less expensive way of learning Spanish, than that of going to a country village, as Mr. Vaughan had done, and as you would other­wise be also inclined to do.

In the course of that, and all other conversations which I have ever had with you or others on the subject of this project, I pointedly disapproved of it; and tho' many reasons for my disapprobation were submitted to your consideration, it seems that all except two have escaped your memory, viz. "as being contrary to the designs of your friends, and from persona! danger." For the first, you say, you looked upon yourself to be responsible; and I will add, that so far as I might be concerned in it, I considered myself as responsible both to your friends and to my own judgment.—As to the circumstance of personal danger, you desire me to judge whether you ought to have been influenced by it? [...] forbear remarks on the repetition of this question, it wants explanation, and you will find, that, as well as an answer to it, in the following paragraph of a letter I wrote you on this subject, the 15th June last, viz. "I know that you ought, and I advise you steadily to follow wherever your duty may lead you without being deterred by danger, or evils of any kind whatever: and were it your duty to go on the proposed expedition, I should cease to esteem you, if you suffered any personal consideration to restrain you. You seem to admit that your duty does not require you to take this step—and I think you will do well to consider how far it will authorise it.—This is a delicate subject; and yet the relations you stand in to your country, your family, and your friends, ought to be well weighted, before you embark in a measure that may affect each of them. But you know my sentiments on all these points, having before dwelt minutely on them. All I can do, is to give you my advice—this I have done freely and candidly."

The objections you mention are only two of the reasons which I urged against your project—They were accompanied with those others which naturally arising from the subject, must present themselves to all who consider it with attention. It would be as unnecessary to enumerate them now, as it proved useless to urge them at first. Besides, the manner in which you refer to my objections, seems to be more with a view of shewing what they were not, than what they were—for if I understand you right, you mean to infer from these two being the sole reasons for my dissent, that the expence of the plan could not have been one of them, and therefore that I ought either to have afterwards furnished you with as much money as you might have occasion for in the execution of it, or have told you that I [Page 27]would not supply you with any.—There is a difference, sir, between advancing no more at all, and advancing as much as a young gentleman may please to as [...] for, beyond the probable extent of his funds.—There are also some matters of fact which I wish to recal to your memory; and that this may be done with less risque of mistake and confusion, it may not be amiss to consider the whole time in which the business of this project was in agitation, as coming within [...] periods:

• 1. The time which passed between your first mentioning it to me, and your acquainting me with your determination to persist in pursuing it, notwith­standing my disapprobation.
• 2. The time which passed between this determination, and the grant of your request by the court.
• 3. The time subsequent to the grant of your request, including your departure for, and arrival at Cadiz.

During the first of these periods I flattered myself with being able to convince you, that your project, being ill adapted to your situation, and little calculated to promote your proper views, ought to be relinquished—it was then sufficient only so far to touch upon the matter of expence, as it gave occasion to general remarks. At that time it had not become reasonable nor necessary to tell you, I would not advance you any money in case you persisted, for I could not presume that you would persist against my advice and consent. Such a threat would have been too harsh and indelicate, to have had a good effect; and would have been very distant from the manner in which I always had treated, and always wished to treat you.

On the commencement of the second period, the state of the whole affair was changed. The moment you ceased to respect my opinion and consent, it became your business, and ceased to be mine, to provide for the means of executing a scheme you had resolved to adopt against my approbation. So that if I had after­wards observed the most profound silence respecting the expence, and all other articles connected with this project, you would have had no sort of right to complain.

But, sir, altho' my advice had hitherto been neglected, I again took an occasion of troubling you with it; for on hearing that the Duke had, on your application, consented to take you into his family, provided you could obtain the leave of the court to go, I thought it a good opportunity of calling your attention to a matter, about which your expectations appeared to be rather too sanguine, I mean the expence. I advised you, in so many words, immediately to take such explicit arrangements with the Duke, as that no matters of expence might be lest unascertained, in case you should obtain the permission in question. I expected that the propriety of this advice would certainly strike you; and not doubting but that you would mention to me the result of your conversation with him on this subject, I suspected it would afford me new arguments to prevail upon you to desist.

But this advice, however proper, met with no attention: You applied to the Court for leave to accompany the Duke, and permitted him to set out for Cadiz, [Page 28]without having said a word to him about the expence you might expect to incur.

Here arose the following question of prudence, viz. Whether it would be best for me to tell you plainly, that I would not supply you with any money, in case you should obtain leave to go, and thereby oblige you to abandon, from necessity, a scheme which you could not be persuaded to relinquish from reason.—. On considering this question, I saw that the necessity and consequently the propriety of this step, must depend entirely on the probability of your obtaining the leave of the Court. A little time and consideration convinced me that probability was decidedly against your obtaining it: For,

• 1. You was a protestant, and it was said that no officers of that profession were to be found in the Spanish service.
• 2. You was a citizen of North-America, whose independence had not been acknowledged by this court.
• 3. I had made no secret of my disapprobation, and in a letter of the 17th June, informed the minister of state, that I could take no part in your application, the trust reposed in me by your friends, as well as my prive [...]te judgment, opposing it.
• 4. The Duke himself had told you, he did not believe that your request would be granted.

The conclusions, deducible from these circumstances, need not be specified— The language of them made the same impression upon you, that it did upon me [...] and it was not long before we both became persuaded that your application would prove fruitless, and in all probability die away without further notice.

There not being therefore the least appearance of necessity for the step in question, it would have been very improper to take it, especially as it would have unavoida­bly exci [...]ea in your breast, sensations and feelings very destructive to that confi­dence in my friendly attention, without which I could expect to be of very little use to you. We had differed in sentiment without anger; and tho' the warmth and enth [...]siasin, inspired by a desire of sharing in the eclat of a brilliant coup de main, and hurried you too far, yet neither my opposition on the one hand, nor your pertinacity on the other, had produced disgust on your part, or crimination on mine. Besides, as [...]erested motives had never found a place among those which [...] my conduct towards you, it would have been imprudent, by a mea­ [...] capable of such a construction, to have given you reason to impute to [...] considerations, an [...]position which proceeded from the purest principles of [...]ship and candor.

We were never [...]heless mistaken in our conjectures as to the improbability of your obtaining the permission you [...]ollicited, without entering into the reasons which, it seems, prevailed with the court, I shall only observe, that, very ur [...]x­pectedly to us both, it was granted.

Here the last period begin. The Duke had gone to Cadiz, and you was to follow him immediately. You reflected that money would be necessary, and [Page 29] you proposed to draw bills upon me, as your occasions should require, assuring me that you would only draw for as much as might be absolutely necessary.—This proposition did not appear to me in the most proper light, tho' I did not tell you so. You had no money in my hands, nor any pecuniary demands upon me; and this was at least an unusual way of applying for favors. As this project was adopted without my approbation, and pursued against my advice, I might with great justice have refused to furnish any money for its execution. But, sir, I saw and I felt the unhappy dilemma to which you had imprudently brought yourself; without money, you could not proceed, and without proceeding your would suffer disgra [...]. I also considered what was due to your friends, whom you had thus subjected to the disagreeable alternative of either seeing you resign with an ill grace, or submit to the expence of preventing it. The latter was more consistent with my own judgment and feelings, and therefore I presu [...]ed that they would also prefer [...].

How much you should be allowed, then became a necessary question, as well as a difficult one; because in determining it, respect was to be had to the abilities and inclination of your friends, which I could only conjecture; to your ideas of ne­cessity, which were very vague, and to your proper and unavoidable expences which we neither knew, nor had then time to enquire about; and which would greatly depend on your being admitted, or not, into the Duke's family. As to your pro­position of unlimited credit, I declined it; not from doubts of the sincerity of your assurances, but because it would in itself have been improper.

I could easily suppose, that either in the capacity of a volunteer-gentleman-soldier, or as a volunteer aid de camp to the Duke, you might spend a great deal of money, and yet spend much less than some others in the same situation: But I could also suppose that a sum which, measured by their fortunes, would be very moderate, would, if compared with your funds, be very extravagant: Their expences, therefore, could furnish no rule for your's. Admitting also, for the sake of argument, that this project was capable of affording you not only much pleasure, but also much advantage; yet [...]f the expence of it exceeded your means to supply, your attention should return, as soon as possible, to objects more within the limits of your power and circumstances. Had you followed my advice, and previously ascertained the expences incident to the place promised you by the Duke, your way would have been plain and obvious.

I had several months before written to your uncle to fix the sum beyond which he would not chuse that your expences should extend, and I purposed immedi­ately to repeat that request, as his answer would relieve me from the risque of all differences with you on so delicate a subject in future, I thought it most prudent to make you such an allowance in the mean time, as I had reason to think fully adequate to your real wants, tho' perhaps not to your desires. For this, however, some ule was necessary, and I could find none better than the allowances on which the Spanish officers appeared to live decently. I thought that if you was enabled to [Page 30]live in the stile of a Spanish captain of foot, until the instructions of your uncle should arrive, you would have reason to be satisfied. I therefore agreed to allow you the same pay, and to advance you the amount of it for six months. Over and above this, I agreed not only to pay off your little debts here, which I after­wards found to amount to fifty odd hard dollars, but also to furnish you with mo­ney for your expences between this and Cadiz, and for regimentals, &c. In short, I gave you at setting out 127 pieces of eight in hand, and a credit on Mr. Harrison for 150 more, which you accordingly received on your arrival. I also authorised you, in case you should be taken prisoner, and not otherwise, to draw upon me for sufficient to relieve you from the distresses in which such an event might involve you. I acknowledge that you expostulated with me warmly, tho' not indecently, on the subject of this provision, and that you was discontented with it, tho' in my opinion, without reason. I thought it was doing as much as, all things considered, could prudently be done for you. I did not know how far your uncle might either find it convenient, or be disposed to defray even these expences, especially considering the amount of those which he had already incurred on your account; and I thought it my duty to pay some regard to his convenience, as well as to your's.

A few days after your arrival at Cadiz, you wrote me the following letter:

This request was afterwards repeated almost in the same words, in your letter of the 6th July, in which you also mention some articles of news, and inform me, that tho' your quartan had returned the last post-day, you was then recovered.

You now complain that these letters were never answered.—It is true, that tho' I have since written to you, viz. on the 10th day of September last, yet I never id take any notice of these letters.

I have known many gentlemen with ten times your allowance, in daily distress for want of money; and yet it would not have been proper to indulge them with more.

You informed me, that unless your allowance was doubled, you might be infi­nitely distressed. This I knew to be very possible, but still the insufficiency of [Page 31]your allowance for your necessary expences could not thence be argued. From what could I argue it? You mentioned no facts—you sent me no estimate— you did not assign a single reason for your apprehensions. You informed me, in­deed, that the expences of your journey, and others unavoidably to be incurred, greatly exceeded your expectations; but how was I to divine either the one or the other? or with what propriety could you expect that I would be guided by your opinion or apprehensions, further than they might appear to be well found­ed? —I would have encreased your allowance, if evidently incompetent; but that incompetency was first to be manifested. The obvious impropriety of such sum­mary, unexplained applications for money, in such cases, affords a sufficient answer to them; and I should indeed have ill answered the expectations of your friends, if I could have given them no better reasons for advancing you money on their account, than that you had asked for it.

Your request to double your allowance, being accompanied with no facts or reasons to shew its propriety, I could continue to judge of it only from the general appearance of things. I considered that you had set out with an ample supply of cloaths, and with money to purchase regimentals, &c. That you had also been furnished with money for your journey, and thereby enabled to enter the Duke's family with six months pay of a Captain untouched in your pocket.

I considered that your admission into his family and to his table, had actually realized those expectations, from which you had before argued the cheapness of your plan; and that tho' you might associate with gentlemen of fortune and ex­pence, yet that, not being equal to them in the one, you ought not to follow them in the other. I could perceive without any difficulty, that if you meant to keep pace in expence with many of your companions, your allowance would prove very inadequate, and I had my fears that this in a certain degree might be the case; for tho' you had been at the expence ^* of an order for post-horses to carry you from hence to Cadiz, yet it seems the " extreme heat of the weather obliged you and a fellow-traveller to hire a coach on the way." This, no doubt, was a more agreeable way of going, and yet (unless made necessary by sickness, which I have not heard was the case) it was travelling rather like a gentleman who needed not to regard expence, than like one whose funds did not admit of such indulgences. You may say, perhaps, that it made no great difference in the expence; if so, it was a slender reason for encreasing your allowance—and if, on the contrary, it was considerable, it ought to have been avoided.

Now [...], at this late day, you inform me that you are obliged to find not only your own horse, but even forage for him. This is undoubtedly a good ar­gument in favor of increasing your allowance; but surely, sir, you could not ex­pect that I should be influenced by this circumstance, before it had come to my knowledge.

[Page 32] Thus, sir, I have, by a full and temperate answer, treated your letter with a degree of respect, which it would not probably have received from many others.— I forbear making any remarks on its improprieties, being persuaded that they are to be considered, rather as the incautious violences of a generous mind, revolting against narrow, tho' necessary restraints, than as the virulent efforts of a bad dis­position, to give unmerited pain. I flatter myself that some future moment of dispassionate self-examination, and a more impartial review of my uniform con­duct towards you, will yet make room for reflections and sensations of another kind. My doors, my heart, and my purse, are still as open to you as ever. I rejoice to hear that you have been left above dependence, and I advise you to take care that that consideration does not reduce you to it. In whatever situation you may think proper to place yourself, my best wishes will still attend you; and I shall be pleas­ed with opportunities of indulging the inclination I yet have to give you further proofs of the disinterested regard with which I am, sir,

P. S. Mess'rs French, of Bordeaux, have as they say, by your orders, sent to Col Livingston for you, a pair of shoe and knee buckles; but as the price amounts to between thirty-nine and forty hard dollars, I must decline interfering further than to give you this information.—Your orders respecting your cabinet, shall be executed, as soon as I shall be informed by you, or otherwise, that you remained of the same mind, after the fit of the fever in which they were written.

No. 23. TO MR. JAY.

Having received no answer to my letter of the 8th ult. I conjecture it must have miscarried, I have therefore taken the liberty to enclose a duplicate to the Ambassador of France, for its more certain conveyance.

(Here was inserted a copy of that letter, verbatim—See No. 22.)

For my own satisfaction, I beg leave to annex the following account of my expences, to convince you that I cannot live for nothing. I arrived in this island the 19th of August; suppose it at present to be only three months. My servant at 5 reals a day for his wages—his maintenance during two months as much, but finding myself cheated, I discarded him and got another for 12 dollars per month, 42 dol.—A house for two months, at ten dollars per month, 20.— [...]y [...]ervant's account for my breakfasts every day, with the tavern keepers and apothe­caries during my illness, 33.— Furniture for my room, 16.—Laundress, 10.—For a surtout, 11.—This amounts to 132 dollars. I had 140 at my arrival; other trifling expences have dissipated the remaining eight! so that till this morning, [Page 33]when I pawn'd my pistols for 10 dollars, I had not a farthing! Is not this, Sir a melancholy situation for an unfortunate being, in an army of strangers, 3,000 miles from all his friends and connexions? I have written to Harrison; should he abandon me, I must seek relief from a British cannon, as the last and most certain remedy. I must own your conduct at first highly incensed me; but at present, notwithstanding my deplorable situation, I regard you as an object more worthy of pity than myself! if your motives be really what I suspect! If not, par­don the suspicion!

No. 24. From MR. JAY.

I HAVE received your letter of the 25th November, containing a copy of your's of the 8th October [...]ast. The interval between those two dates, afforded sufficient time for reflection, and it would have surprised the less to have received an apology for, than a duplicate of that letter.

Were you not in the distress you mention, the indecencies which mark both these letters, would be insuperable obstacles to my further correspondence or con­nection between us.

You would do well to recollect that politeness is very consistent with spirit, and that self-respect may be maintained without doing violence to good manners.

It also appears necessary to remind you, that a right to complain (even decently) of refusals, must always be preceded by a right to demand.

The last sentence in your letter renders it improper for me to attend further to your situation, than to offer you a retreat from its distresses.

You may, if you please, resume your former place in my family, till either incli­nation or interest may induce you to quit it; my future behaviour to you will be regulated by the opinion which you may give me reason to entertain of the pro­priety of your own.

On being informed that this offer is acceptable to you, I will provide for the expences of your journey.

I hope your answer will be conceived in terms proper for you to use, and for me to receive; and that you will not, by a repetition of insults, reduce me to the necessity of leaving your subsequent letters not only unanswered, but unopened.

No. 25. TO MR. JAY.

YOUR letter of the 26th of October reached me yesterday.—To begin with it—

That your offers to patronize me were generous and disinterested, I shall ever acknowledge with gra itude. Can you — that there was any design in the acceptance of them to prejudice "you," or the nearest of all relations to you?" The thought's injurious.—That an oeconomical attention was to be observed in the regulation of my expences, is certain: from this, sir, I flatter myself I have not deviated. Sent at a very early time of life to France, with letters of unlimited credit, my constant endeavors were to live with frugality and decency My wor­thy uncle had permitted me to spend some months at Paris (consult your letter from him) a tender regard for his "convenience" induced me to relinquish it as too expensive a plan. You yourself, sir, have express'd your satisfaction of my conduct on that head, as well as my expences in general, till "this affair."

That my resources are principally from the generosity of an uncle and other friends, is not altogether fact. I am, sir, a younger son of an honorable family: the profusion of my father, too certainly left his descendants by his first marriage in distressed circumstances. At his union with my mother, her father prudently disposed of her fortune in such a manner that it could only be inherited by her children: the death of my father entitled her to a third part of his [...]anded pro­perty, during life, that she resigned in cons [...]deration of possessing a smaller real estate, which she generously settled upon me at her second marriage; the one half to be sold, and which has actually been sold by my uncle to defray the expences of my education; the other half to devolve to me at the death of her­self and husband. Some years past a distant relation died and left a valuable tract of land of about 10,000 acres, to be divided between four brothers-in-law any myself: this, Sir! with the land and some slaves which I shall possess at my mother's decease, will surely enable me to indemnify my uncle for generously advancing me the necessary sums for my travels, &c. &c. even "after this affair."

A reliance on the sincerity of your friendship, joined to the remonstrances of Mr. Adams, prevailed on him to send me to Europe, to your care and "direction," provided with no funds but a letter to you—'tis not sufficiently explicit—you say perhaps so: 'twas intended as request to a friend, not an order on a "Banker." If he expected that I should only be received into your house, &c. &c. how in the name of heaven was I to have subsisted?—think better on it. I still affirm that you was the cause of my leaving my friends and country: 'till your offers, my uncle never entertained the most distant idea of sending me to Europe? I never considered you in the light of my "Banker!" Sir! you wrong both your­self and me by so degrading an appellation—you have no money of mine in your hands:—I was confided solely to your friendship:—Could my worthy uncle [Page 35]but know that for some inaccuracy in his letter, I am at this moment reduced to sell my cloaths for subsistence; what would be his feelings?

I find you have mis understood some parts of my letter: in my first conversation in regard to this expedition, I certainly did mention the expence: but remember, Sir! you was far from objecting to it:—I again affirm it!—you agreed with me, that in all probability the expence would not be considerable, we were both deceived!— as a proof be pleased to examine my letter to you of the 15th of June, where you will find this paragraph:

‘My present object is the attainment of the Spanish language; the alternative is to retire to some village, or spend a few months in the army; the latter is in­finitely more plea [...]ing, less expensive, and more consutent with my future plans of life.’

Neither in your reply, nor in conversation, did you ever seem to think the expence very important, 'till my permission was obtained.

Our different reasons had not escaped my memory, Sir! I only mentioned the two alluded to as those of most consequence: I must confess, that as your ac­quiescence in my opinion with regard to the expence induced me to persevere in it beyond a possibility of retracting, I think it afterwards became an obligation upon you to supply me with a sufficiency to go through with it in a decent manner; there is a difference, Sir, between advancing a competency, or barely enough to carry a Gentleman to the scene of action, where he must either starve, or dishonor himself eternally by ignominious retreat. As to the propriety of your objecting the expence in the first or second period, which you state, it depended entirely on your own judgment. I remember your desiring me to come to an explana­tion with Crillon about it; but here, Sir! some circumstances have escaped your memory: you may very unjustly accuse me of neglecting your advice: I waited on him when he informed me that he had mentioned the affair to Count de Florida Blanca, and very candidly declared his belief of its being impracticable.—I com­municated it to you, and as you observe, we very soon agreed that the affair was finished and would die away: why then do you accuse me of permitting the Duke to set out for Cadiz, without saving a word to him of expences which he had de­declared, and both of us believed would never be incurred? after our various con­versations, and my letter of the 15th of June, I am surprised to see this sentence in vom letter,—

"But the warmth and enthusiasm inspired by a desire of sharing the eclat of a brilliant coup de main hurried you too far." I must refer to the aforesaid letter, and to some "minute particulars" therein. Remember your own opinion on that subject—my situation. Remember my last request, and your promise to justify me to my friends, to inform them generously of the many unforeseen delays which impeded my application, and obliged me to incur heavy expence, viz. the journey to Cadiz, which I flattered myself to have made with the Duke: was not that letter of the 15th of June written at your own request, to serve as a proof [Page 36]of those "minute particulars" in defence of both our characters? is all this so soon forgotten? I find myself described by you as a sharper, basely endeavouring to de [...]raud of your money, tied down to the strict limits of your letter though given under a supposition of its being a competency; my word was not sufficient to the contrary! what must Harrison think of me? I yesterday had a letter from him? he declines assisting me any farther! I cannot blame him; I was wrong to ask it; the prospect of want obliged me! I have deceived him, but I was deceived myself! I told him that your restricting me to 150 dollars was from a persuasion that it would be enough; that a proof of its insufficiency would in­duce you to extend it; in short gave him every assurance that he would suffer no inconvenience from it; I believe it, Sir! You suspect me of spending my money by a ridiculous vanity of being thought equal to men of ten times my fortune? you ought to have known me better. Sickness, Sir, in fact obliged me to hire a coach at Cadava, through the extreme heat of the weather, was a very sufficient reason; perhaps, Sir, you never rode post through Andalusia in the latter end of June

To return once more to the reasons which induced me to make this Campaign; I declare upon the honor of a gentleman, that the most prevalent with me was a firm belief that you were of my ^* opinion with regard to its utility! I mention this because you ^† complain of my not following your advice: it really appeared to me that you wished me rather to have acted contrary to counsel, which the pe­culiar delicacy of your situation with regard to me, obliged you to give;—placed under your immediate care and direction, you could never answer to my friends for any misfortune which may happen to me in the course of a long and bloody siege; had I undertaken it by your immediae instigation, or even consent. This idea was confirmed by my conversation with you:—how often, when I have expatiated on the advantages which would accrue to me from it, have you answered, "yes! if you escape with whole bones!" ^‡ or some such remark—one day in particular speaking of the conduct of Mr. — you observed "that he would be glad to have a handle against you, either by imputing your opposition to a wrong motive, or else making you from political reasons act contrary to that your duty obliged you." These political reasons must either have respected the common cause, yourself, or me—this needs no comment.

With regard to my request concerning my cabinet, I desire you would defer it:—my design was to have returned immediately to America; but there are in­numerable reasons against it.—The trenches are actually opened; I have a dan­gerous [Page 37]tho' honorable post, to resign it now would be an eternal imputation on my character!—No! I'll sooner sell my last sl [...]rt, and then starve, or serve as a common soldier for bread; suppole yourself in my situation, could you be capable of it?

You reproach me for not sending you an estimate of my expences; I now do it, to convince you that what I have expended was barely adequate to my sea! wants. You furnished me with 127 pieces of eight, which we both judged suf­ficient for my expences to Cadiz, and for regimentals.

You may perhaps suppose some articles extravagant: I might have got a cheap­er bed: true— but money laid out is such things is never lost. It is certainy very commodious for an officer, as it answers the purpose of a trunk too, and can always be sold for nearly it's prime cost. This, with my taylor's bill, seem the only things of conseque [...]ce; and believe me, I was as much surprised as yourself, to find that such trifles could swell an account to such an enormous sum. You had allowed me an hundred and fifty dollars for the campaign, on a supposition that the 127 would have been sufficient for my journey and regimentals, (that is to say equipage); ask yourself, sir, would you have embarked on an unknown voyage with a less provision? What is there unnecessary? I "saw too, and s [...]lt the disagreeable dilemma to which I was reduced"—The advantages of being in the Duke's family by no means equalled our expectations: at Cadiz I experienced none; at Mahor, indeed, the privilege of dining with him saves some­thing.—The accounts w [...]ch my brother officers gave me of the unavoidable expences of a campaign, still added to my distress: I prevailed on Harrison to advance me 150 doliars besides this account—'twas still but my six months pay! I would not think of going I kn [...] not where, with a less sum! he did so, and has [...] to think me a viliain!—That Mr. Jay, is indeed cruel! you have advan­ [...] more money for me on more tris [...]ing occasions. You now see my reputation [...]; myself [...]rded as a [...]cat and impostor, for taking up money in your [...], which I [...] you would not repay? But enough! 'Tis true, sir, I drew [...] I upon you, "against your consent," but it was because I had not time to know [...]. I did not do [...] of your consent when informed of my real neces­ [...] [...] of [...] dollars, you thought adequate; when convinced to [...] I did not [...] but your generosity would have extended it. You [...] that I did not send you the estimate! you now have them, [...].

[Page 39]

A reason which I could better explain verbally than by letter, prevented me from going to the Duke's for some time, except when on guard; this with my long illness, swelled my tavern and apothecary's account, together with my ex­pences for breakfasting since my arrival, to 33 dollars. Some necessary move­ables for my lodgings cost me 16. I gave 11 for a large surtout, being obliged so be out in the night and in bad weather, and as the one mentioned in the other account is rather a genteel riding coat, than a proper shelter from an inclement season.

There, Sir, is exactly the 150 dollars—I, at present, as already observed, subsist by the sale of such parts of my equipage as I can best spare; for pride will not let me beg.

Should this estimate so far satisfy you, as to induce you to incommode your­self farther on my account, I beg, that it may be employed in repaying Har­rison—I can starve with pleasure rather than suffer a stain on reputation or ho­nesty; he has but too much reason to think lightly of both, since you have actually renounced me!

Thus, Mr. Jay! by an accurate and just state of my expences, I have endea­voured to convince you that I am not the imprudent boy you seem to suppose me. You also should be cautious of giving unmerited pain; take care how you insi­nuate from ignorance of facts, things which may be prejudicial to the one, whose character in a manner, depends upon your good or ill report of him. I must own, Sir, your information of having paid my debts is not conveyed in the most agreeable manner; one would suppose from it that I had contracted debts without your knowledge, which you afterwards found to be of a great amount, whereas we had really adjusted that together at settling our accounts.—You say I was well provided with clothes, true, but not regimental.

With the warmest acknowledgments for your professions of friendship, I have the honour to be, &c. &c.

P. S. I paid for a pair of buckles to Messr [...]. French, the price greatly exceeds my expectation; if you decline interfering, you know my incapacity.

No. 26. FROM MR. JAY.

AS silence is sometimes liable to be misinterpreted, it is proper that I should so far reply to your letter of the 7th instant, as to correct some of the principal er­rors in it.

I have never thought nor intimated, that my offers to patronize you were ac­cepted with design to prejudice me, and consequently your remark on that head is premature.

It is true that I did approve of your not going to Paris, and (as far as I could judge) "of your expences in general, till this affair"—justice demands this ad­mission—I am ignorant of your having had unlimited credit in France.

That you came to Europe, destitute of other funds than a letter to me, I did not know. I expected, on your arrival, and from time to time afterwards, to furnish money for your necessary expences; but, I also expected, that funds had been, or would be provided, to reimburse these advances from time to time.

Whether your Uncle had any thoughts of sending you to Europe until after my offers, is a subject on which I have no other information than your letter. I know that your Guardian, Mr. Adams, had such thoughts.—It was from him I first heard of you, and it was from his account of you, and his signifying a desire that I should take you with me, under my immediate care, that these offers were made.

I never considered your Uncle's letter in the light of an order on a Banker and am at a loss to conceive what should have misled you into such an opinion. My remark on the want of precision in that letter, arose from his having omitted to limit your expences, and having thereby left me exposed to disagreeable differ­ences with you on that head.

I never did concur with you in opinion as to the expences which would proba­bly attend your project; nor did I ever give you reason to think so. I did in­deed agree that if, as you flattered yourself, the Duke should receive you in such a manner into his family, as to leave you exposed to no other expences than for cloaths and pocket money, th [...] those expences would not be considerable; but I doubted this being the case; I told you so; and in order to reduce the matter to a certainty, I advi [...]ed you to ascertain it by speaking fully to the Duke on the sub­ject. I gave you this advice, immediately on being informed that he had promised to take you into his family, and not after the delays of the Court and other cir­cumstances had rendered it improbable that your request for leave to accompany him, would be granted.

But admitting for a moment, that I really did acquiesce in your opinion of these expences, the inferences you attempt to draw from thence are nevertheless falla­cious.—Suppose that my Nephew now with me, should ask my consent to go to [Page 41] Peru to learn Spanish, and that I should refuse it, without giving him any other reason, than that I thought he might learn Spanish full as well at Madrid as at Peru. —Suppose further, that he should persist in going.—Would he have the least shadow of right to consider me as chargeable with his expences, merely because I had not made that an objection to his voyage? surely not.

You refer me for the reasons which induced you to go on this expedition, to your letter of the 15th of June, and "to some minute particulars therein:" and also to my opinion on them. I well remember the contents of that letter, but I know of no other opinion on those minute particulars, considered as reasons for your project, than what I thus expressed in my answer to that letter, viz. "That in my opinion you ought not at any rate to let them drive you to such extremities." But I am still of opinion that you was more strongly urged into this project [...]y the imagined brilli­ancy of it, than by any serious considerations; although you have doubtless per­suaded yourself to think other wise.

You remind me of your request and a promise on my part to justify you to your friends. I did not promise to justify you in this affair, to your friends, nor to any body else. I promised to state the facts fully and candidly to your friends—I have done so, in a letter to your Uncle of the 25th of June last; and that letter will shew my regard both for you and for truth.

It is very true, that your letter to me of the 15th of June, was written at my request, I made that re [...]uest, because I thought the matters it contains, and which you had before mentioned to me in conversation, were sufficiently interesting to be re­duced to writing, and the [...]uidence of them thereby the better preserved. I remem­ber this very well, nor was there any thing in that transaction which I have the [...]ast wish either to forget or conceal.

I know nothing of my having described you as a sharper.

You now say, that the most prevalent reason with you to make this campaign, was a firm belief that I was of your opinion with regard to its utility; "and that it appeared to you that [...] [...]hed you rather to have acted contrary to the counsel which the pe [...]ali [...] delicacy of my [...]ation with regard to you, obliged me to give." This is an ar [...]i [...] of intelligent which! never expected to have received.— Your wishes seem to have had a very uncommon degree of influence on your belief.

From the first moment that you mentioned this plan to me, and throughout the course of every [...] had with your, or others, on the sub­ject of it; I not only [...] an unwire and indiscreet one, but I uni­formly, [...] and pointedly gave that opinion of it to you [...] them.

In my letter to you of the 19th of June, I [...] opinion in unequivo­cal terms. In my letter to the Minister of Start of [...] of June, I [...] told him, thus "not only the trust reposed in me by your [...] consorting to [...] it was contract [...] In my letter to the [...], I mentioned that your embarking in this [...] [Page 42] and approbation." In short, in all my letter and conversations about this matter, I have ever held the same plain and decided language.

Notwithstanding all this, it seems, that you picked up a contrary idea in some conversations with me, and you adduce two instances as affording sufficient rea­sons for your adopting it.

The first is, that on your expatiating on the advantages which would accrue to you from this project—you say I answered "yes, if you escape with whole bones, or some such remark."—The matter you appear to allude to might have been more accurately stated*.

Among the advantages which you thought would result from this project, you often insisted upon this, viz.—That by bringing you acquainted with many gen­teel people in the army, it would, on your return to Madrid, facilitate your form­ing many respectable and agreeable acquaintances.—It is true I admitted that this might be the case;—and I also observed, at the same time, that supposing it to be an advantage, yet that it was not of sufficient importance to render it adviseable for you to encounter the hazards and inconveniences of a voyage and expedition whose object was then unknown, and which many conjectured would be to South America; from whence you might not return in less than two or three years, if at all.

The second instance you adduce is, that I expressed my apprehensions to you one day, that a certain Gentleman "would be glad to have a handle against me, either by imputing my opposition to a wrong motive, or else making me from politi­cal reasons act contrary to what my duty obliged me.

I remember this circumstance, and you have stated it right in substance. But it seems to me that this circumstance, instead of leading you to conclude and be­lieve, that I was in favor of your scheme, not only afforded proof of any oppo­sition to it, but also of my being influenced to that opposition by a sense of duty, and not by political reasons.

But although I opposed your plan upon the most disinterested principles, yet as experience had taught me to expect little, fair or friendly, from the Gentleman in question, I did apprehend that he would endeavour to infuse an opinion of my do­ing it from motives of a private or personal nature; and though I do not remember to have explained this so you, yet I was not without suspicions, that he would af­fect to ascribe it to a desire of detaining you as a private Secretary in the room of Mr. Liningston, who you know had at that very time, seriously proposed to re­turn to America; or to a disinclination to make the extraordinary advances of monkey, which the expences of this project might demand—and the fact is, that this certain Gentleman did insinuate [...] you, that I had ether reasons for my opposi­tion that these which I had assigned to you and others. I did further apprehend that this [...] Gentleman would be [...] see, and to draw me, if possible, into [Page 43]inconsistency of finally consenting from political reasons, to a measure which I had before declared that my judgment, as well as my duty to you and your friends, for­bid me to agree to, or countenance.—For although that Gentleman had at first warmly opposed your intention of going with the Duke, yet when he found that it became popular, he professed to be convinced of its utility, and even stimulated you to persevere in it.

And although that Gentleman had, without any respect to my sentiments, open­ly patronized this project, evidently with a view to draw me into the abovemen­tioned inconsistency, he advised you to solicit my permission, for him to speak to the Minister of State in favor of your application, pretending that without my con­sent, it would not be proper or delicate for him to interfere—but this snare did not succeed.

That same Gentleman perceiving that the Spaniards, (among whom he had against his better knowledge, and not for the best purposes, represented you as a young Gentleman of an opulent fortune) were pleased with your plan of going a Volunteer in the Spanish service, expatiated much and often on its advantages, and treated my opposition to it with an air of mystery, calculated to infuse the same sus­picion into others which eh expressed to you, viz. that I had other reasons for my opposition than those which I assigned to you.—What these reasons should be, he never to my knowledge explained, but left you and others to your own conjectures. Hence the propriety of my conduct upon that occasion, was drawn into question, as well as discussion.—I found myself exposed by this opposition, to illiberal doubts and invidious surmises.—And the pain of such a situation naturally afforded in­ducements to relieve myself from it, by withdrawing this opposition. These in­ducements were the political reasons which I apprehended that this same Gentlemen wished to make me submit to act from, and be governed by.

I, nevertheless, preferred obeying the obligations of what I thought my duty, to the temporary conveniences of deviating from it; for I do repeat, and shall as long as I live declare, that I am not conscious of having ever in thought approved, or by word or deed led you to think, that I approved of this project.—On the con­trary, I did constantly, openly and strongly object to it, and endeavoured to dis­suade you from it.—I never harboured in my heart the most distant wish that you would act contrary to that advice, nor ever gave you the least shadow of a reason to espouse such an opinion.

Your remark on that passage in my letter which respects your debts you left un­paid here. is well founded—that passage is certainly liable to the construction you me [...]on, and justice demands of me to acknowledge, that those debts were mentioned some by you before your depa [...]re, though the amount of your taylor's account was not then known, but exceed what you supposed it would amount to.

I herewith enclose a [...] letter to you of the 13th instant, acknow­ledging the receipt of you [...] the 24th ult.—Reasons similar to those which rendered [...] improper for me to take particular notice of that letter, constrain me to pass over in [...] the residue of the [...] now before me. I am, &c.

No. 27. TO MR. JAY.

YOURS of the 13th ult. was yesterday delivered to me: in a correspondence between two persons, where the one is suspected of ungenerous violation of the duties of friendship; and the other deems himself equally dishonored and ill treated; the most guarded expressions are too often offensive; it is not therefore surprising that the warm, undisguised expostulations of the injured (at least in his own opi­nion) should be construed into " insult and indecency." Men of honor, Mr. Jay, have no superiors but benefactors; whilst you thought [...]oper to preserve that sa­cred character, you had an undoubted right to command my respect and gratitude in preference to any, even the nearest of my relations; what was duty in them, in you was friendship.

My situation in your family was as happy as you could render it, but the malice of a man, too well known to you, embitter'd it, and I though myself fortunate in an oc­casion of emerging from obscurity, and obtaining some degree of knowledge and reputation— policy, not enthusiasm, influenced me: I foresaw that your duty as a Guardian, and your tenderness for me as a friend, would inevitably induce you to oppose so dangerous an enterprize; your other reasons I had coolly and delibe­rately weighted in my own mind— the principal ^* objection was the expence, for which I was entirely dependent on your generosity, and when I mentioned it to you, it was with a pre-determination to have receded on the least hint of your thinking it burthensome. I could not have "complained of a refusal, because it was not then preceded by a right to demand."—Your acquiescence, I thought, gave me that right, you confirmed me in that idea by declaring it to be your in­tention to furnish me with a competency; the sum stipulated I found insufficient, and therefore ventured to borrow in your name the residue: you suspected me of extravagance, but it would surely have been more consistent with your former friendly conduct towards me, to have permitted me to make my defence, before you gave so fatal a stab to my reputation; you might have informed Harrison, that being responsible to my friends for my conduct, you could not advance so large a sum above what you had judged sufficient, without being first satisfied with regard to the necessity of my having expended it—you might then have demanded an ac­count of it from me; hu [...] was denied the privilege of the meanest criminal, con­demned and punished unheard! disclaimed by you as a wretch who had abused your generosity, and was no longer worthy of your confidence or esteem! nay a downright sharper, who had fraudulently made use of your name to procure mo­ney! nor is Harrison the only witness of my dishonor; I am exposed for so insig­nificant a trifle as a pair of buckles!—Sir! I feel!

[Page 45] Having never before experienced from you the least shadow of unfriendly treat­ment, I knew not to what cause to impute a charge so unexpected!— Avarice is by no means your characterestic; I cannot suspect you of a premeditated design to ruin me; even supposing me to have been actuated by the enthusiasm so natural to youth of acquiring military reputation, it was no ignoble motive, and ought at least to have pleaded for indulgence in the breast of a friend, such as I esteemed you! My banker, perhaps, would have refused to assist me beyond the limits of his letter, but I flattered myself that other considerations would have influenced the man, whom I gloried in acknowledging my friend and benefactor! The suspicions which occasioned the last sentence in my letter of the 25th of November were briefly these: That you regarded me as an unprincipled profligate, who would not scruple to sacrifice his sincerest friends by involving them in difficulties and distress, to gratify a few idle and romantic schemes! and that ^† [...] consequence you had abandoned me to want and infamy [...] my delicacy, my feelings, were wounded, my indignation [...] and perhaps induced me to remonstrate with too much bitterness; if I have in­jured you, I am sorry for it; sorry for having entertained such dishonorable su­spicions, not for having informed you of them; for, believe me, Sir, to a generous mind it is infinitely more painful to think than to speak ill of another.

Having already disposed of every thing which I could possibly spare, I must at length have recourse to the generosity of my acquaintances, though a British bul­let would be a far more welcome alternative! Harrison, in compassion, has offered me 100 dollars more; but any extremity would be more acceptable to me than farther obligations to one whom I have already too much incommoded.

Remember this paragraph in your letter of 26th October—"But, Sir, I saw and felt the disagreeable dilemma to which you had imprudently reduced yourself; without money you could not proceed, and without proceeding you would suffer disgrace. I also considered what was due to your friends whom you had thus subjected to the disagreeable alternative of seeing you resign with an ill grace, or submitting to the expence of preventing it; the latter was more consistent with my own judgment and feelings, and therefore I presumed that they would also prefer it."

I cannot suppose that you mean to insult my misfortune by proposing a resig­nation at this dangerous and critical moment, it would at first [...] an ill grace, it would now be eternal dishonor [...] and feelings." I am, Sir, your &c.

No. 28. TO MR. JAY.

I SHALL endeavor to answer your letter of the 29th December, as coolly and dispassionately as the intruding reflections on my situation will permit.

My credit in France was for my expences, the regulation of which was left to my prudence. That I had no funds in Europe but my uncle's letter to you, I have repeatedly declared, particularly in our conversation about de Francy's affair, and in settling my little accounts with Col. Livingston, at his return from Bordeaux. That my uncle will find expedients to reimburse your advances, cannot be doubted: The express methods I know not, and have often told you so! He did not explain it to me before my departure, nor have I ever bad the least intelligence from him since.

Mr. Adams is not my guardian; consequently, whatever plans of educations he might form for me could only be the wellwishes of a disinterested friend. Your frequent repetition of the word banker, in your letter of 26th October, occasioned the observation of which you express surprise. I must still insist on your con­currence in my opinion with regard to the expence; at least your extreme delicacy in not objecting it, betrayed me into a belief of your acquiescences, and that fatal error, by urging me to persevere, has reduced me to inextricable misery!

Your advice about arrangements with Crillon, was precedent to his promise of receiving me into his family: He requested me to wait a verbal answer to any let­ter, and in the interim mentioned it to the minister; during this interval, your counsel was given, but the first, and indeed only time I saw him afterwards, he candidly informed me that my request was impracticable; though should it be granted, he would with pleasure receive me into his household. His declaration, Sir, crushed my hopes, and not the subsequent delays of the court, which we both regarded only as little strokes of finesse to let the affair die away.

Your supposition with regard to your nephew, is not entirely jest; his early age confines him to objects less aspiring than those which ought to influence me:— I am arrived at a period when I ought to think (in the vulgar phrase) of making my way in the world—to learn Spanish, was not the only advantage which allured me to this dangerous enterprize; one amongst many others was to attain the great object of my voyage to Europe, viz. Of acquiring a degree of experience and re­putation, which might at my return recommend me to my countrymen, as one not unworthy or incapable of serving them, and I am happy to find myself, not singular, in my hopes on that head. Your opinion on the "minute particulars" alluded to, was, that we were both exposed without a possibility of vindication, to the malici­ous [Page 47]insinuations of your ^* infernal Secretary; but that "should I succeed in this affair," it would undoubtedly enable me to retort on him to a degree that might even excite his envy, as I had before his malevolence: This was no trivial induce­ment! and to this end I meant to render subservient the "genteel acquaintances." which I might form; for believe me, Sir, my expectations with regard to them ex­tended further than the allurements of a dinner and a [...]ulia. The hazards, &c. &c. ^† of a campaign ought never to have been objected to a youth, whom you also deemed an enthusiast!—You would have despised me had I ceded on those considerations. Neither of us ever believed the expedition to be for South-American. I never expected a further justification from you to my friends, than "to inform them generously of the many unforeseen delays which had attended my application and obliged me to incur a heavy expence, viz. the journey to Cadiz; which I flattered myself to have made with Crillon.

I stated your conduct briefly and candidly to my uncle, in my letter to him, dated the day of my embarkation at Cadiz, in these words: "Mr. Jay's personal friendship for me induced him to oppose my design as dangerous and unnecessary; but though unable to assis [...]e in procuring permission, he engaged to leave me at my disposal." Is not this fact, Sir? With regard to the influence of my wishes over my belief in supposing you to be of my opinion, it is possible, nay probable! but still I believed it, and was influenced by that belief.

I never suspected your opposition to proceed from any motives but principles of friendship; on the contrary, political reasons seemed to point out another line of con­duct. Your observations on those reasons I understood in a different sense. Had I de­sisted, Carmichael would certainly have had a handle against one or the the other of us; first, by imputing my conduct to motives of pusillanimity [...] or secondly, to your influ­ence over me; which on your part be would have undoubtedly ascribed either to ava­rice, or your natural aversion to the Spaniards — An ingenious thought of this poli­tic Gentleman, and which, I can venture to assure you, has not a little promoted his system of rendering you odious at Madrid. On the other hand, the great popularity which my application had gained, sufficiently proved it to be pleasing; and con­sequently, perseverance in it might be of equal utility to Americans in general, and to myself as an individual. From hence, Sir, I concluded, that you in secret wish­ed me [...] have acted contrary to advice, which your seuse of duty obliged you to give.

[Page 48] Permit me now, to add a few interrogatives, The reader will find answers to all these questions in the preceding letter. which you will oblige me by answering for our mutual satisfaction. 1st. When I first communicated to you my design of making this campaign, did you not know that I neither had, nor could possibly have any means of defraying the expence but from your generosity? 2d. Did not your delicacy in not objecting the expence, lead me to believe that pecuni­ary motives by no means influence? your opposition? Why then did you with­draw your credit from me? 3d When I informed you that I had obtained per­mission to serve in the Spanish army, did you not promise to furnish me with a sufficiency to support me with decency and credit? 4th. Was not my allowance re­stricted to "six months" pay for a Captain of foot, on a supposition that it was sufficient? When found inadequate, did you ever give me the least reason to doubt, but that you would have increased it? 5th. Did you not declare that your friendship for me would not permit you to see me dishonored by a resigna­tion for want of money; could I believe these professions, corroborated by so many former proofs of friendship, to be insincere, and did not my reliance on them justify me in borrowing a sufficiency, in your name, to preserve myself from that dishonour? 6th. Did not your peremptory refusal to repay what a stranger had generously lent me on assurances of my credit with you, subject me to invi­dious surmises? 7th. If this refusal proceeded only from suspicions of extravagan­cies in me, ought you not to have had proofs of the crime before you inflicted the punishment? Why did you not demand an estimate from me? 8th. Supposing the sum limited to have been sufficient for the term, viz. "six months," is not that term elapsed? 9th. In what have you found me extravagant?

The apathy and indifference with which you " pass over in silence" my distress exceeds all credibility! I have but one resource against starving, but as it is en­tirely foreign to the designs of my friends, I cannot embrace it, but as the ulti­mate extremity! I therefore demand for the last time, what are your resolutions with regard to me? What have I to expect further from you? My situation will not admit of delay, for the sale of my last shirt, would [...] support me two posts longer. I therefore expect an immediate and final answer.

No. 29. TO MR. JAY.

THE Marquis de la Romana will have the honor of delivering you this letter; the amiable qualities of that Gentleman induce me to recommend him to your civilities.

[Page 49] As the British General has this morning demanded terms of capitulation, for the surrender of St. Philip's, I desire to be immediately favored with your instructions with regard to my subsequent conduct: Shall I follow Crillon to Gibraltar, or re­sign my post and return to Madrid? The first is indeed infinitely more agreeable to my inclination, and I think, cannot cause any material difference in the expence, as to return from Minorca to Madrid, either by the way of Barcelona, Carthage­na or Cadiz, will amount nearly to the same as by Gibraltar, and that place (you know) will only admit of a coup de main, consequently a few hours will decide it.

You will, doubtless The rest of this paragraph Mr. Jay forbears to publish, because foreign either to him or Mr. Littlepage, who may nevertheless supply it if he pleases, for it is not on Mr. Jay's account that he suppresses it. [...] except a slight contusion, which I yesterday received from the splinter of a bomb, I have met with no misfortune in the course of our operations. I have the honor to be, &c.

No. 30. FROM MR. JAY.

I have this moment received your letters of the 20th January and 1st February. Had your former ones been equally unexceptionable, you would have been less distres­sed, and I less pained. I cannot now reply to these letters at length for want of time; the best proof of my regard for you is to authorize you to draw upon me for twenty guineas, payable at sight, which I hereby do. As I mean immediately to send a copy of this under the Ambassador's cover, and another inclosed to Mr. Gautier, at Barcelona. I can at present only add, what on experience you will find to be true, th [...] my friendships are neither capricious nor interested. I am, Sir, &c.

No. 31. From MR. JAY.

YOUR letter of the 4th ult. which you mention to have committed to the care of the Marquis de la Romana, was delivered to me yesterday by the mes­senger [Page 50]of the post-office. I rejoice in the event it announces, and am glad that the contusion of which you speak was a slight one. My opinion as to the expedi­ency of your continuing in the army remains unaltered, I advise you to take the first good, and least expensive opportunity of returning to Madrid: I shall postpone saying all that is necessary for you to know on this subject till we meet. In a late letter I desired you to draw upon me for twenty guineas, and I now repeat it, lest that letter should miscarry. Mr. Livingston [...]gone to America. Mrs. Jay has a daughter. Present my compliments and congratulations to the Duke.

No. 32. TO MR. JAY.

I HAVE had the honor of your letter of the 26th ult. and a duplicate of the same from Mr. Gautier, at Barcelona. The extremity of my distress had already reduced me to the severest curse of poverty the necessity of importuning my friends; to avoid which I had once resolved to enter into the French service, where an admission would not have exacted an apostacy from my religion, but the mise­rable pittance of a French subaltern I found absolutely insufficient for subsistence; and as the only alternative, instead of supplicating my military companions, I bor­rowed one hundred hard dollars from an English merchant, for which I gave him a bill on Mr. Harrison agreeable to the offer of that truly generous friend, although nothing but the most poignant distress could have induced me to accept it. In consequence of your letter, I shall take the liberty to draw upon you for the sum limited, without incommoding Harrison. I impatiently expect an answer to my letter of the 5th of February, the army is ordered immediately to Gibraltar, and it is past a doubt, will seriously attack that place; for my own part I am still unde­cided with regard to my future peregrinations; experience has too well initiated me into the Spanish mode of besieging, to admit of a belief that Gibraltar will be the work of a day! (since a coup de main is not their object) a month at least must elapse before the [...]roops here can possibly be embarked. The construction of floating batteries (the avowed plan of attack) will necessarily require time; in the interim, instead of going immediately to St. Roque, I have thoughts of making a short tour to ROME: I may never perhaps find so convenient an occa­sion; with regard to the expence it can be but trifling, as I shall perform the whole voyage by sea: Consider my situation, I live here entirely on my own expence, having no longer the benefit of the General's table; and believe me it costs more, merely to exist in this wretched, impoverished theatre of war, than I ever before experienced, even in France; should I proceed to St. Roque before the Duke, [Page 51]it cannot be lessened, as the same cause renders it expensive there; on the con­trary, an English merchant, who is shortly to go to Leghorn, offers me a pas­sage in his ship, and even promises to procure me one to Algesiras, in six weeks time, or whenever I please.

I can be furnished with letters to the first nobility in Rome, particularly from my worthy friend General Borghesi; these considerations, joined to the pleasure and instruction which I promise myself from the journey, induce me to think se­riously of it. I could wish to undertake nothing of the kind without your ap-approbation, but the time will not admit of my waiting for an answer to this, as, (should I go) I shall probably be at Rome before this can possibly reach you. Be pleased to present my respects to Mrs. Jay and the family. I have the honor to be, &c.

Direct your letters to his Excellency the Count de Cifuentes, Governor of Mi­norca, who will forward them to me,

No. 33. TO MR. JAY.

AGREEABLE to your Excellency's orders, I have of this date drawn for 1920 reals of Vellon, equal to 20 English Guineas, in favour of Mr. Charles Veale.

In a late letter I informed you that I had thoughts of making a short trip to Rome, but the prospect of operations commencing immediately at Gibraltar, in­duces me to abandon that scheme. I impatiently expect an answer to my letter of the 1st of February.—My respects to Mrs. Jay. I have the honor to be, &c,.

His Excellency John Jay.

No. 34. TO MR. JAY.

I HAVE this moment received your letter in answer to mine of the 1st ult. and am really concerned for Col. Livingston's departure, as I fear It has [...]ro­ceeded from reasons, similar to those which first suggest [...]d to him the idea, I must own my military Quixotism is not yet abated; and I could wish to assist at the Gibraltar business; however, as the General has ordered me a passage in his ship to Barcelona, I shall from thence proceed to Madrid (with him if possible) instead of a voyage by sea to Cadiz, agreeable to my first intention.

Your partiality to my abilities, I know, induces you to suppose politics my proper sphere; inclination, and indeed necessity, points out a military line as far [Page 52]more eligible. I wish to return to America; the éclat of having served a cam­paign in Europe, in a distinguished post, will, I doubt not, procure me at least a decent commission. I have already been sufficiently burthensome to my friends; my early age has hitherto obliged me to submit to it: I think myself now qualified to live independently in the character of a soldier, and in that only.

My situation is seriously alarming:—Totally neglected by my guardians in America, for more than two years past I have subsisted upon money borrowed on their credit, without even knowing how far it may distress them to repay it.— Virginia has been the theatre of was ever since my departure, and my friends must certainly have shared in the general calamity—in how great a degree, God knows.

I hope to see you, and in the mean time congratulate you upon the birth of your daughter. Mrs. Jay, I hope, has experienced nothing more than ordinary incon­veniencies on the occasion—present my congratulations to her.

I have the honor, &c.

No. 35. From MR. LITTLEPAGE to Col. BENJAMIN LEWIS.

Since my last to you of the 25th ult. Mr. Jay has received a summons to France, and will in consequence leave Madrid immediately: As no object private or political, could justify my undertaking so expensive a journey under my present cir­cumstances, especially considering Mr. Jay's uncertain stay there, I have resolved with his concurrence to remain here till the month of March next, when I shall return to America, if your surprizing and unaccountable silence still continues. The hurry and precipitation of my departure from Virginia sufficiently excused you for not taking at that time explicit and regular arrangements for the means of my support here; two years and an half have since elapsed, and nothing further has been determined on that interesting point, nor have I ever had the least intelligence from you, or any of my friends in America. What are your intentions or ex­pectations with regard to me? Can you suppose that I am to subsist forever on advances from Mr. Jay without the smallest appearance of remittances or reim­bursements to him? His situation on that head is extremely embarrassing, nor is my own less so: by a liberal allowance he may exceed your ideas of my necessities, and too close restrictions are painful to us both, and indeed prejudicial to me. Such has been Mr. Jay's situation ever since my arrival in Europe, continually in hopes of being relieved by letters from you, and as often disappointed. Delays are pardonable; but absolute neglect is unjustifiable. Cannot you as least inform Mr. Jay of the reasons which have hitherto prevented you from making him remittances, and your future expectations on that head! As to the sum he has already advanced he declares himself to be by no means pressing for the re-payment of it: nor does he wish you to distress yourself on that account, but to take your measures relative to it, in any manner most commodious to yourself;—he will advance as my exigencies may require not exceeding fifty guineas per year, from the time of his departure, till next March, when as I have before observed, if you do not furnish me with adequate supplies, and him with proper instructions, I must abandon all the hopes I have formed in the political line, and return to Virginia Reflect seriously on my situation, and the consequences which may follow a further delay on so pressing an occasion. After near three years residence at this Court in the family of an American Minister with the friendship and as­sistance of that Minister to recommend me in America, my political projects cannot surely be deemed chimerical. I am as yet too young to expect a public employ­ment, [Page 54]a short time will remove that objection, and in the interim I have the hap­piest opportunities of instructing myself in the politics of this country, and Eu­rope in general. The mutual intere [...]ts of Spain and America will require that an eternal political intercourse should exist between the two nations, and as a candi­date for an employment of that kind, I possess incontestible advantages. To elucidate this, a short review of my past conduct here, may not be unnecessary. On my arrival at this place, I so and my situation very different from the ideas I had previously formed of it. The in decision of the Court with respect to Ame­rica, strongly influenced the conduct of individuals, which, joined to some more private reasons, (by no means however proceeding from Mr. Jay rendered all connection or even intercourse with Spaniards, difficult, and to me really impos­sible.

My political pursuits were in consequence greatly impeded, if not absolutely frustrated, as the first step in that line was to render myself known and distinguish­ed, and by attracting attention acquire consequence. Eight months experience too well convinced me of the impracticability of success on my first plan, and I be­gan to think seriously of abandoning it, when an occasion offered which I thought meritted attention. Immense preparations were making for an expedition to be commanded by the Duke de Crillon, and said to be against Gibraltar or Minor­ca, Policy suggested to me that some efforts on the occasion might be of utility in the attainment of my grand object, as it would inevitably remove the difficul­ties I had experienced in forming connections here. Reconsideration but con­firmed me in the idea, and in consequence I demanded the King's permission to attend the Duke de Crillon as a Volunteer. This step occasioned great specula­lation, and effectually answered my purpose in attracting attention. To the surprize of every body my request was granted, and I served the campaign in the Mediterranean as Volunteer Aid de Camp to the Commander in Chief. Du­ring the siege of Mahon I assidiously endeavoured, both from real esteem and poli­cy, to recommend myself to the Spaniards, in which I so happily succeeded, that at my return I found every political obstacle removed, and nothing now remains but to prosecute my plan under every advantage that my most sanguine hopes could promise.

Such is my situation and such my views in Europe, which will be all rendered abortive by a further delay on your part. Consider the consequence; if I do not receive letters from you by the month of March next, I shall no longer have the means of subsistence, and must return to you, where I shall be in the same situation as before my voyage to Europe, at the expence of all this time and mo­ney. What business or profession can I possibly be qualified to pursue in Ameri­ca? In short, affairs are now brought to a crisis,—procrastination will but in­crease difficulties.—Take your resolution and inform me of it immediately, or I must abandon all.

[Page 55] I shall send twelve different copies of this letter to America, directed to Go­vernor Harrison. There can be no difficulty in transmitting your answer; make a dozen copies of it, send some to Mr. Robert Livingston, Secretary for foreign affairs, at Philadelphia, to be sent to Mr. Jay; others to the house of Harrison, at Alexandria in your state, for their Agent, Mr. Harrison, at Cadiz, to whom I also request you would remit as soon as possible the 200 dollars which he gene­rously lent me on an occasion which I have already explained to you. I am, your dutiful Nephew, &c.

No. 36. TO MR. JAY.

I AM equally surprized and chagrined to find that you have taken no explicit arrangements with Mr. Carmichael, respecting the payment of my allowance, and consequently lest me exposed to the disagreeable necessity of borrowing money on my own credit, for which I can only give an order upon you, at the risque of a refusal either on his part to supply me, or on yours to refund it. You have taken no notice of the separate sum, which I repeatedly requested from you to purchase some necessaries, viz. linnen, a suit of cloths, &c. &c. for which my allowance of 20 dollars per month is by no means sufficient. As the hurry, &c. of prepa­ring for your journey doubtless caused this inadvertency, I request that you would immediately rectify it, by a letter to me or to Mr. Carmichael. Fifty dollars is I think the least that can be advanced on the occasion, as I have not more than half a dozen shirts tolerably decent, and but one old suit of regimentals, which has served me for more than twelve months. My quarters amount is but 60 dollars, and should I appropriate it to clothing myself I shall absolutely want subsistence.— This will doubtless reach you at Bourdeaux, from whence I expect an answer without delay. I have the honor to be, &c.

No. 37. FROM MR. JAY.

MR. Bondfield delivered me your letter of the 23d ult, this morning. When [Page 56]you recollect that I authorised you to apply to Mr. Carmichael for a quarter part of your allowance of 50 guineas a year, you will find that there was not much room for surprise or chagrin at my having omitted to repeat it to him in the hurry of preparing for my journey. I was persuaded that he would not scruple your ve­racity; but would readily pay it, and deduct it from the money he will receive on the sale of my mules. I cannot conceive why you should fear a deviation from my word.

As to the sum you wanted to purchase cloathes, I really did forget it, and I am content that he pay you fifty hard dollars for that purpose on my account. I have not time at present to write to him on the subject, but this letter will be a suffi­cient voucher.

You will remember that your future supplies must be drawn from America, and that the allowances before mentioned will cease after the first day of March next.

No. 38. TO MR. JAY.

YOUR professions, and indeed proofs of friendship to me have ever appeared too disinterested to admit the most distant doubt of their sincerity; I cannot therefore impute your opposition to my design of continuing in the army, to any other motive than a real friendly regard to what you think my interest. Your declaration at our parting, that such a proceeding should by no means be considered as done by your concurrence, I naturally accounted for upon the principles on which I ever wish to consider your conduct; but your unexpected menace to withdraw from me in consequence of it, even the pittance stipulated for my support in Spain, I must own sensibly touched me; especially as that resolution was taken at a time, when I had undoubted intelligence of my being actually nominated for the siege of Gibraltar. My reception at Court was flattering enough, though my intention of quitting the service occasioned universal surprise, and some of my most inti­mate friends, who from their situations could best be supposed to know the dis-disposition of both the Court and people, after informing me of the conjectures up­on the occasion, candidly advised me either to leave Spain, or finish in the military line what I had happily commenced. Infinite considerations induced me to em­brace the latter alternative as most honorable and indeed advantageous.

1st. I was on the list of those nominated for Gibraltar: Retraction on my part might have been inviduously imputed to personal pusillanimity, or to a suppuoition but too generally received of my having imprudently brought myself into dis­grace by siding with Crillon's enemies. Neither of which was consistent with my feelings or policy.

[Page 57] 2d. The object which at first induced me to relinquish my military views [...] to ger existed, viz. ^* The expectation of being employed by you in a political line.

3d. It can make no difference with regard to the expence, and will most prob­ably entitle me to some honorable distinction, as it is a great addition to my past services.

4th. What can I promise myself by remaining at Madrid which will be in the least impeded by it. ^†

Urged by these motives on the one hand and the idea of dishonour on the other, I communicated my resolution of still continuing in His Majesty's service to Mr. del Campo, who advised me, by way of ceremony, to present a memorial to the King, which I did, and received his immediate consent. The General means to employ me again as Aid de Camp, and in consequence orders me to repair instantly to St. Rocque. I shall set out tomorrow.

Mr. Carmichael has advanced a quarter's allowance, viz. 60 dollars, which is all that I shall take up from him or any other person on your [...]cunt, unless by your further order. He also offers to join with Mr. I Harrison in advancing whatever my exigences may require. If you really refuse to supply me with even the moderate al­lowance agreed upon between us, (for I ask no more) I have no alternative, but but to throw myself upon their generosity.

With respect to you, Sir, whatever may be your determination, he assured, it shall never induce me to forget your past savers. I have already been burthensome to you, too much so; but it was unavoidable. Should you disapprove my pre­sent conduct, at least let there be no indecent crimination between us. We have lived together in friendship, let us part with decency. Examine impartially my conduct, and you will find that I am actuated by no motives but the purest principles of honor; and though I may not meet with approbation, I can never merit censure. Yours, respectfully,

No. 39. TO MR. JAY.

HAVING never been honored with an answer to my letter of the 12th of June, respelling the reasons which induced me to comm [...]e in the Spanish army, I con­sidered myself as abandoned by you, and consi [...]uently had no means of support but from the generously proffered assistance of Messis. Harrison and Carmichael. Nothin [...], Sir, but the most urgent necessity could have prevailed upon to accept of their offers, however friendly and disinterested, and if you knew the weight of an obligation on a generous mind, even to those in whom peculiar circum­stances [Page 58]render it almost a duty, you would be the less surprized at my reluctance to solicit relief from you after so many repeated refusals, and a cold reservedness to which I cannot be insensible ^*. After that warmth of friendship and unlimitted confidence which but lately existed between us, the world cannot but form infer­ences infinitely to my disadvantage at so unexpected a reverse.

Your established character and reputation in the world will never admit a belief that you could renounce a young man, of whom you had declared your­self the friend and patron, from no motive but, at worst, an indiscretion natural enough to the impetuosity of youth; and who could not brook the idea of sub­jecting himself to the smallest imputation by refusing an honorable military post, to which a King had appointed him, unsolicited; that, however, is past, the cam­paign is now finished and I am at liberty to act as my own discretion or your advice (which I once more request) shall determine me.

I had thoughts of making interest with the Count de Artois, who had more than once expressed an inclination to serve me, to demand letters for me from the Spanish Court to Congress, but the General having ordered me on board the com­bined fleets when they left Gibraltar bay, to give him an accurate account of their manoeuvres. I but yesterday returned here, and find his Highness has already taken his departure; however, I shall go to camp in a few days, to demand my congé, and make application to the Ministry, thro' the medium of the Duke de Crillon, who I think cannot decently refuse it.

The Prince de Masserano is very desirous of my accompanying him to Paris, where by the connections I have had the good fortune to form during this cam­paign, I have reason to think I could be genteely placed in the French service:— of that, however, I think but little. I again request your advice with regard to my future conduct, and what I have to expect from you: are you as yet decided with respect to returning to Madrid, or not?

Inclosed I send you a copy of my journal of the manoeuvres of the British and combined fleets, in the action of the 20th, off Cape Spartel. My most respectful compliments to Mrs. Jay.

P. S. Be pleased to enclose your answer to Mr. Harrison.

No. 40. FROM MR. JAY.

I HAVE received your letter of the 29th ult. as well as a former one of the 10th June last, but the one you mention to have written on the 12th of June never came to my hands,

Before we parted, I took the liberty of giving you my best and most sincere [Page 59]advice.—I also expressed to you in very explicit, and indeed pointed terms, my entire dissapprobation of your going on the Gibraltar expedition; and assured you, that in case you nevertheless went, I would certainly cease to advance you money.—Although these considerations did not affect your conduct, it is both natural and proper that they should influence mine. But as it is not probable that any thing new can be said on the subject, a re-discussion of it could answer no good purpose.

I am obliged to you for your relation of the late action between the combined and British fleets, and am, Sir, &c.

No. 41. TO MR. JAY.

YOUR letter of the 18th of November, was transmitted to me a few days past by Mr. Harrison.

I cannot but regret that my unhappy circumstances will not permit me to discharge immediately the debt which I have incurred from your generosity in the prosecution of designs, which once flattered me with the prospect of a more pleasing issue:— I regard your letter as an ultimate refusal on your part to afford me further assist­ance, and delicacy in my present situation, as well as gratitude for what you have already done, prevent me from incommoding you with reiterated and too proba­bly, vain solicitations.

Since I have nothing to expect from your partiality as a friend: I appeal to your candour as a man of honor, for my justification!—I have forfeited your confidence and protection, but I am mistaken in your character or I shall ever possess your esteem.

The marquis de la Fayette is arrived at Cadiz, and informed me the other day by the Count de Crillon, that he is desirous for me to accompany him to America: I shall in consequence repair immediately to Cadiz, to take explicit arrangements with him for that purpose.

I have received an official letter from the Count de Florida Blanca, in the King's name, containing the most flattering acknowledgemments from his Ma­jesty, for my conduct in his service, with permission to retire from my post of Aid de Camp. I have only to request you to inclose immediately to Mr. Harrison, a state of the accounts between us, which be assured shall be remitted to your as soon as possible.

With the sincerest gratitude, for [...] many instances of friendship and generosity, which I have received from you,

I have the honor to be your Excellency's most obedient, &c.

No. 42. TO MR. JAY.

Intending to leave Paris to-morrow morning, on an excursion to Fountainbleau, to meet the Marquis de la Fayette, I take the liberty to address your Excellency on the subject of his request, of my being permitted to carry the Definitive Treaty to Congress. I neither wish nor expect you to sacrifice any private view of your [Page 61]own to oblige me; but should you be personally uninterested, I flatter myself you will not refuse your influence in my favor.

As the Marquis will probably be absent for some weeks, I wish to inform him positively of at least your sentiments on this occasion, as they will greatly tend to influence my future arrangements.

The Marchioness de la Fayette presents her compliments to your Excellency, and desires to know your commands for her husband, whom she is to join imme­diately.

I have the honour to be, &c.

No. 43. FROM MR. JAY.

MR. JAY presents his compliments to Mr. Littlepage, and would have im­mediately answered his letter of yesterday, but he received it from home, and while at table: As joint measures should always be the result of joint counsels, and as the nomination of a person to carry the definitive treaty to America is of that nature, Mr. Jay postpones giving any opinion on that subject, until it shall come regularly under the consideration of his coleagues and himself.

Mr Jay returns his thanks to the Marchioness for her obliging attention; he presents her his best wishes for an agreeable journey and safe return; and begs she will assure the Marquis of his constant esteem and regard.

Passy, 17th July, 1783.

No. 44. TO MR. JAY.

HAVING in the hurry of closing some letters from London to my uncle, trans­mitted the original state of the account between your Excellency and myself, I must entreat you to take the trouble of making out a summary of the amount without delay; as it is possible I may be enabled to settle it before your departure.

I at the same time, take the liberty to observe, that all efforts on my part for that object, are dictated by myprivate sentiments of delicacy, rather than any actual obligation upon me, for sums advanced to me during my minority upon the credit of my Guardian, and which were discontinued as soon as subsequent circum­stances seemed to invalidate his order, and place me in a more immediate state of personal responsibility.

Be pleased also to inform me what measures you have ulteriorly taken for your reimbursement in America, and the result of them. I have the honor to be, &c.

His Excellency John Jay.

No. 45. FROM MR. JAY.

Mr. JAY presents his compliments to Mr. Littlepage, and agreeable to the re­quest contained in his letter of this day, sends him inclosed a copy of the account of monies paid by Mr. Jay to and for Mr. Littlepage, as settled the 6th of July, 1783; and informs him that Mr. Jay has not taken any measures for his reim­bursement in America.

Chaillot, 16th March, 1784.

No. 46. TO MR. JAY.

I HAD the honor to call at your Excellency's house this evening, to pay you my respects, and at the same time to inform you that every exertion has been made on my part to acquit myself of my pecuniary obligations towards you. I am sorry to add, that accumulated embarrassments prevented me from accomplishing it be­fore my departure from Virginia, where I only arrived in July last, and am at present on my return to Europe. I have, however, taken explicit arrangements with my uncle on that head, and am authorised to make you the most positive assurances on his part, that your reimbursement shall not be delayed longer than circumstances render unavoidable.

No. 47. TO MR. JAY.

THIS addr [...] [...]owever disagreeable to you, is not I presume, unexpected. Your conduct [...] no longer mysterious; the catastrophe certainly does honor to the plot, and however incomprehensible it may [...]ppear to the world, is to me no more than your complicated character had taught me to expect.

Your public station renders it impossible for me to force you to a personal ecclaircissement, if, as I take for granted, you chuse to avoid it: But if you are conscious of having acted consistent with the principles of honor and rectitude, you should be the first to demand an investigation.

[Page 65] Should this be your determination, be pleased to inform me, when, and where you will honor me with an interview. If you refuse, the public shall judge be­tween us.

No. 48. TO R. JAY.

BEFORE I proceed to the last extremity, that is, an appeal to the public, be pleased to inform me whether you chuse to enter into a discussion, more con­sistent with the character and ideas of a gentleman. You must be convinced from every preceding circumstance, that I can put but one construction upon your late extraordinary conduct, which is a premeditated design to injure and dis­grace me. If such was your intention, I certainly am at liberty to justify myself, and perhaps to retort upon you. I shall be happy to find myself mistaken, and if you will condescend to explain your conduct, many disagreeable things may be yet avoided; your answer will be definitive: In the mean time I have the honor to be, &c.

ANSWER.
No. 19. From MR. JAY.

I HAVE received your letter of yesterday, and as it is as decent as any that can be expected from you, I prevail upon myself to write a line or two in an­swer to it.

Not being conscious of having intentionally committed a single act of injustice or dishonour in the course of my life, I have nothing to apprehend from publication. Your threats therefore on that head, operate on my mind, like dud on a balance. Executé them; publish when and what you please.

As to personal discussion or correspondence with you, I mean and wish to have none, and your memory cannot be a good one, if it does not suggest to you my reasons for it.

A premeditated design to injure or disgrace you, is a base design, and conse­quently was never mine; I disclaim, deny, and reprobate it. If you wish to know why I sued you, I will tell you; it was to recover money you honestly owe me, and for which I am not to be satisfied by your assurances.