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M'FINGAL. A MODERN EPIC POEM, IN FOUR CANTOS.

Ergo non satis est risu diducere rictum
Auditoris: et est quaedam tamen hic quoque virtus.
Est brevitate opus, ut currat sententia, neu se
Imp [...]diat verbis [...] onerantibus aures.
Et se [...]m me opus est modo tristi, soepe jocoso,
Defe [...]ente vicem modo Rhetoris, atque Poetae,
[...] parcentis vi [...]ibus atque
Extenuantis eas consulto. Ridiculum acri
Fortias et melius magnas ple [...]u [...]nque secat res.
Horat. Lib. I. Sat. [...]

HARTFORD: Printed by HUDSON and GOODWIN, near the Great Bridge, 1782.

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M'FINGAL: CANTO FIRST, OR THE TOWN-MEETING, A. M.

WHEN Yankies, skill'd in martial rule,
First put the British troops to school;
Instructed them in warlike trade,
And new manoeuvres of parade;
The true war-dance of Yanky-reels,
And manual exercise of heels;
Made them give up, like saints complete,
The arm of flesh and trust the feet,
And work, like Christians undissembling,
Salvation out, by fear and trembling;
Taught Percy fashion [...] races,
And modern modes of Chevy-chaces:
From Boston, in his best array,
Great 'Squire M'Fingal took his way,
[Page 4] And graced with ensigns of renown,
Steer'd homeward to his native town.
His high descent our heralds trace
To * Ossian's famed Fingal [...] race:
For tho' their name some part may lack,
Old Fingal spelt it with a Mac;
Which great M'Pherson, with submission
We hope will add, the next edition.
His fathers flourish'd in the Highlands
Of Scotia's fog-benighted islands;
Whence gain'd our 'Squire two gifts by right,
R [...]pellion and the Second-sight.
O [...] these the first, in ancient days,
Had gain'd the noblest palms of praise,
'Gain [...]t Kings stood forth and many a crown'd head
With terror of its might confounded;
T [...]ll rose a King with potent charm
His foes by goodness to disarm,
Whom ev'ry Scot and Jacobite
[...] sell in love with, at first sight;
Whose gracious speech, with aid of pensions,
Hush'd down all murmurs of diss [...]sions,
And with the sound of potent m [...]tal,
Brought all their blust' ring swarms to settle;
Who rain'd his ministerial m [...]nnas,
Till loud Sedition sung [...];
The good Lords-Bishops and the Kirk
United in the public work;
Rebellion from the northern regions,
With [...]te and Manstield swore allegiance;
And all combin'd to raze as nuisance,
Of church and state, the constitutions;
[...]ull down the empire, on whose ruins
They meant to edify their new ones;
[Page 5] Enslave th' Amer'can wildernesses,
And tear the provinces in pieces
For these our 'Squire among the valiant'st,
Employ'd his time and tools and talents;
And in their cause with manly zeal
Used his first virtue, to rebel;
And found this new rebellion pleasing
As his old king-destroying treason.
Nor less avail'd his [...] sleight,
And Scottish gift of second-sight.
No antient sybil fam'd in rhyme
Saw deeper in the womb of time;
No block in old Dodona's grove,
Could ever more orac'lar prove.
Nor only saw he all that was,
But much that never came to pass;
Whereby all Prophets far out went he,
Tho' former days produc'd a plenty:
For any man with half an eye,
What stands before him may [...]
But optics sharp it needs I ween,
To see what is not to be seen.
As in the days of antient fame
Prophets and poets were the same,
And all the praise that poets gain
Is but for what th' invent and feign:
So gain'd our 'Squire his fame by seeing
Such things as never would have being.
Whence he for oracles was grown
The very † tripod of his town.
Gazettes no sooner rose a lye in,
But strait he fell to prophesying;
Made dreadful slaughter in his course,
O'erthrew provincials, foot and horse;
[Page 6] Brought armies o'er by sudden pressings
Of Hanoverians, Swiss and Hessians;
Feasted with blood his Scottish clan,
And hang'd all rebels, to a man;
Divided their estates and pelf,
And took a goodly share himself.
All this with spirit energetic,
He did by second-sight prophetic.
Thus stor'd with intellectual riches,
Skill'd was our 'Squire in making speeches,
Where strength of brains united centers
With strength of lungs surpassing Stentor's.
But as some musquets so contrive it,
As oft to miss the mark they drive at,
And tho' well aim'd at duck or plover,
Bear wide and kick their owners over:
So far'd our 'Squire, whose reas'ning toil
Would often on himself recoil,
And so much injur'd more his side
The stronger arg'ments he applied:
As old war-elephants dismay'd,
Trode down the troops they came to aid,
And hurt their own side more in battle
Than less and ordinary cattle.
Yet at town-meetings ev'ry chief
Pinn'd faith on great M'Fingal's sleeve,
And as he motion'd, all by rote
Rais'd sympathetic hands to vote.
The town, our Hero's scene of action,
Had long been torn by feuds of faction,
And as each party's strength prevails,
It turn'd up did'rent, heads or tails;
With constant rattl'ing in a trice
Show'd various sides as oft as dice:
As that sam'd weaver, * wise [...]t' Ulysses,
By night each day's-work pick'd in pieces,
[Page 7] And tho' she stoutly did bestir her,
Its finishing was ne'er the nearer:
So did this town with stedfast zeal
Weave cob-webs for the public weal,
Which when compleated, or before,
A second vote in pieces tore.
They met, made speeches full long winded,
Resolv'd, protested, and rescinded;
Addresses sign'd, then chose Committees,
To stop all drinking of Bohea-teas;
With winds of doctrine veer'd about,
And turn'd all Whig-Committees out.
Meanwhile our Hero, as their head,
In pomp the tory faction led,
Still following, as the 'Squire should please,
Successive on, like files of geese.
And now the town was summon'd greeting,
To grand parading of town-meeting;
A show, that strangers might appall,
As Rome's grave senate did the Gaul.
High o'er the rout, on pulpit-stairs,
Like den of thieves in house of pray'rs,
(That house, which loth a rule to break,
Serv'd heav'n but one day in the week,
Open the rest for all supplies
Of news and politics and lies)
Stood forth the constable, and bore
His staff, like Merc'ry's wand of yore,
Wav'd potent round, the peace to keep,
As that laid dead men's souls to sleep.
Above and near th' hermetic staff,
The moderator's upper half,
In grandeur o'er the cushion bow'd,
Like Sol half-seen behind a cloud.
Beneath stood voters of all colours,
Whigs, tories, orators and bawlers,
[Page 8] With ev'ry tongue in either faction,
Prepared, like minute-men, for action;
Where truth and falshood, wrong and right,
Draw all their legions out to fight;
With equal uproar, scarcely rave
Opposing winds in AEolus' cave;
Such dialogues with earnest face,
Held never Balaam with his ass.
With daring zeal and courage blest
Honorius first the crowd address'd;
When now our 'Squire returning late,
Arrived to aid the grand debate,
With strange [...]our faces sat him down,
While thus the orator went on.
"—For ages blest, thus Britain rose
The terror of encircling foes;
Her heroes rul'd the bloody plain;
Her conq'ring standard aw'd the main:
The diff'rent palms her triumphs grace,
Of arms in war, of arts in peace:
Unharrass'd by material care,
Each rising province flourish'd fair;
Whose various wealth with lib'ral hand,
By far o'er-paid the parent-land.
But tho' so bright her sun might shine,
'Twas quickly hasting to decline,
With feeble rays, too weak t' assuage,
The damps, that chill the eye of age.
For sta [...]es, like men, are doom'd as well
Th' infirmities of age to feel;
And from their diff'rent forms of empire
Are seiz'd with ev'ry deep distemper.
Some states high fevers have made head in,
Which nought could cure but [...] us bleeding;
While others have grown dull and dozy,
Or fix'd in helpless idiocy;
[Page 9] Or turn'd demoniacs to belabour
Each peaceful habitant and neighbour;
Or vex'd with hypocondriac fits,
Have broke their strength and lost their wits.
Thus now while hoary years prevail,
Good Mother Britain seem'd to fail;
Her back bent, crippled with the weight
Of age and debts and cares of state:
For debts she ow'd, and those so large,
As twice her wealth could not discharge,
And now 'twas thought, so high they'd grown,
She'd break and come upon the town;
Her arms, of nations once the dread,
She scarce could lift above her head;
Her deasen'd ears ( [...]twas all their hope)
The final trump perhaps might op [...],
So long they'd been in stupid mo [...]d,
Shut to the hearing of all good;
Grim Death had put her in his scroll,
Down on the execution-roll;
And Gallic crows, as the grew weaker,
Began to whet their beaks to pick her.
And now her pow'rs decaying fast,
Her grand Climact rie had [...]he past,
And, just like all old women else,
Fell in the vapours much by spells.
Strange whimsies on her fancy [...],
And gave her brain a dismal shock;
Her mem'ry fails, her judgment ends;
She quite forgot her nearest friends.
Lost all her former sense and knowledge,
And fitted fast for B [...]th [...]lem college;
Of all the pow'rs she once retain'd,
Conceit and pride alone remain'd.
As Eve when falling was so modest
To fancy she should grow a goddess;
[Page 10] As madmen, straw who long have slept on,
Will stile them, Jupiter or Neptune:
So Britain 'midst her airs so slighty,
Now took a whim to be Almighty;
Urg'd on to desp'rate heights of frenzy,
A [...]irm'd her own Omnipotency;
Would rather ruin all her race,
Than 'ba [...]e Supremacy an ace;
Assumed all rights divine, as grown
The churches head, like good Pope Joan
S [...]ore all the world should bow and skip
To her almighty Goody ship;
A [...]ath'matiz'd each unbeliever,
And vow'd to live and rule forever.
Her servants humour'd every whim,
And own'd at once her pow'r supreme,
Her follies pleas'd in all their stages,
For sake of legacies and wages;
In * Stephen's Chapel then in state too
Set up her golden calf to pray to,
Proclaim'd its pow'r and right divine,
And [...] for worship at its shrine,
And for poor Heretics to burn us
Bade North prepare his fiery furnace;
Struck bar [...]ins with the Romish churches
Infallibility to purchase;
Set wide for Popery the door,
Made friends with Babel's scarlet whore,
Join'd both the matrons firm in clan;
No sisters made a better span.
No wonder the [...], ere this was over,
That she should make her children suffer.
She first, without pretence of reason,
Claim'd right whate'er we had to seize on;
[Page 11] And with determin'd resolution,
To put her claims in execution,
Sent sire and sword, and call'd it, Lenity,
Starv'd us, and christen'd it, Humanity.
For she, her case grown desperater,
Mistook the plainest things in nature;
Had lost all use of eyes or wit [...];
Took slav'ry for the bill of rights;
Trembled at Whigs and deem'd them foes,
And stopp'd at loyalty her n [...]se;
Stiled her own children, brats and caitiffs,
And knew us not from th' Indian natives.
What tho' with supplicating pray'r
We begg'd our lives and goods she'd spare;
Not vainer vows, with sillier call,
Elijah's prophets rais'd to Baa [...];
A worshipp'd stock of god, or goddess,
Had better heard and understood us.
So once Egyptians at the Nile
Ador'd their guardian Crocodile,
Who heard them first with kindest ear,
And ate them to reward their pray'r;
And could he talk, as kings can do,
Had made as gracious speeches too.
Thus spite of pray'rs her schemes pursuing,
She still went on to work our ruin;
Annull'd our charters of releases,
And tore our title-deeds in pieces;
Then sign'd her warrants of ejection,
And gallows rais'd to stretch our necks on;
And on these errands sent in rage,
Her bailiff, and her hangman, Gage,
And at his heels, like dogs to bait us,
Dispatch'd her P [...]sse C [...]mi [...]atus.
No state e'er chose a si [...]er person,
To carry such a silly farce on.
[Page 12] A [...] Heathen gods in antient days
Receiv'd at second-hand their praise,
Stood imag'd forth in stones and stocks,
And deified in barber's blocks;
So Gage was chose to represent
Th' omnipotence of Parliament.
And as old heroes gain'd, by shifts,
From gods, as poets tell, their gifts;
Our Gen'ral, as his actions show,
Gain'd like assistance from below,
By Satan graced with full supplies,
From all his magazine of lies.
Yet could his practice ne'er impart
The wit to tell a lie with art.
Those lies alone are formidable,
Where artful truth is mixt with fable;
But Gage has bungled oft so vilely
No soul would credit lies so silly,
Outwent all faith and stretch'd beyond
Credulity's extremest end.
Whence plain it seems tho' Satan once
O'er look'd with scorn each brainless dunce,
And blund'ring brutes in Eden shunning,
Chose out the serpent for his cunning;
Of late he is not half so nice,
Nor picks assistants, 'cause they're wise.
For had he stood upon perfection,
His present friends had lost th' election,
And far'd as hard in this proceeding,
As owls and asses did in Eden.
Yet fools are often dang'rous enemies,
As meanest reptiles are most venomous;
Nor e'er could Gage by craft and prowess
Have done a whit more mischief to us:
Since he began th' unnatural war,
The work his masters sent him for.
[Page 13] And are there in this freeborn land
Among ourselves a venal band,
A dastard race, who long have sold
Their souls and consciences for gold;
Who wish to stab their country's vitals,
If they might heir surviving titles;
With joy behold our mischiefs brewing,
Insult and triumph in our ruin?
Priests who, if Satan should sit down,
To make a Bible of his own,
Would gladly for the sake of mitres,
Turn his inspir'd and sacred writers;
Lawyers, who should he wish to prove
His title t' his old seat above,
Would, if his cause he'd give 'em fees in,
Bring writs of Entry sur disseisin,
Plead for him boldly at the session,
And hope to put him in possession;
Merchants who, for his kindly aid,
Would make him partners in their trade,
Hang out their signs in goodly show,
Inscrib'd with " Belzebub and Co."
And Judges, who would list his pages,
For proper liveries and wages;
And who as humbly cringe and bow
To all his mortal servants now?
There are; and shame with pointing gesture [...],
Marks out th' Addressers and Protesters;
Whom, following down the stream of sate,
Contempts ineffable await,
And public infamy forlorn,
Dread hate and everlasting scorn."
As thus he spake, our 'Squire M'Fingal
Gave to his partizans a signal.
Not quicker roll'd the waves to land,
When Moses wav'd his potent wand,
[Page 14] Nor with more uproar, than the Tories
Set up a gen'ral rout in chorus;
Laugh'd, hiss'd, hem'd, murmur'd, groan'd and jeer'd;
Honorius now could scarce be heard.
Our Muse amid th' increasing roar,
Could not distinguish one word more:
Tho' she sat by, in firm record
To take in short-hand ev'ry word;
As antient Muses wont, to whom
Old Bards for depositions come;
Who must have writ'em; for how else
Could they each speech verbatim tell's?
And tho' some readers of romances
Are apt to strain their tortur'd fancies,
And doubt, when lovers all alone
Their sad soliloquies do groan,
Grieve many a page with no one near 'em,
And nought but rocks and groves to hear 'em,
What spright infernal could have tattled,
And told the authors all they prattled;
Whence some weak minds have made objection,
That what they scribbled must be fiction:
'Tis false; for while the lovers spoke,
The Muse was by, with table-book,
And least some blunder might ensue,
Echo stood clerk and kept the [...].
And tho' the speech ben't worth a groat,
As usual, 'tisn't the author's sault,
But error merely of the prater,
Who should have talk'd to th' purpose better:
Which full excuse, my critic-brothers,
May help me out, as well as others;
And 'tis design'd, tho' here it lurk,
To serve as preface to this work.
So let it be—for now our 'Squire
No longer could contain his ire;
[Page 15] And rising 'midst applauding Tories,
Thus vented wrath upon Honorius.
Quoth he, "'Tis wondrous what strange stu [...]
Your Whig's-heads are compounded of;
Which force of logic cannot pierce
Nor syllogistic car [...]e & fierce,
Nor weight of scripture or of reason
Su [...]i [...]e to make the least impression.
Not heeding what ye rais'd contest on,
Ye prate, and beg or steel the question;
And when your boasted arguings fail,
Strait leave all reasoning off, to rail.
Have not our High-Church Clergy made i [...]
Appear from scriptures which ye credit,
That right divine from heav'n was lent
To kings, that is the Parliament,
Their subjects to oppress and teaze,
And serve the Devil when they please?
Did they not write and pray and preach,
And torture all the parts of speech,
About Rebellion made a pother,
From one end of the [...]nd to th' other?
And yet pain'd fewer pros'lyte Whigs,
Than old * St. Anth'ny [...]mongst the pigs;
And chang'd not half so many vicious
As Austin, when he preach'd to fishes;
Who throng'd to hear, the legend tells,
Were edified and wegg'd their ta [...]ls:
But scarce you'd prove it, if you tried,
That e'er one Whig was edified.
Have ye not heard from †Parson Walter
Much di [...]e presage of many a halter?
What warnings had ye of your duty
From our old Reverend Sam. Auchmu [...]y▪
[Page 16] From Priests of all degrees and metres,
T' our fag-end man poor ‡ Parson Peters?
Have not our Cooper and our Seabury
Sung hymns, like Barak and old Deborah;
Prov'd all intrigues to set you free
Rebellion [...]gainst the [...] that [...]e;
Brought over many a scripture text
That used to wink at rebel sects,
Coax'd wayward ones to favour regents,
Or paraph [...]as'd them to obedience;
Prov'd ev'ry king, ev'n those confest
Horns of th' Apocalyptic beast,
And sprouting from its noddles seven,
Ordain'd, as bishops are, by heav'n;
(For reasons similar, as we're told
That Tophet was [...]in'd of old)
By this lay- [...] v [...]lid
Becomes all [...] and hallow'd,
Takes patent out [...] heav'n has sign'd [...];
And starts up s [...]rait, the Lord's anointed?
Like extreme unction that can cleanse
Each penitent from [...] sins,
Make them run glib, when oil'd by Pries [...],
The heav'nly road, like wheels new greas'd,
Serve them, like shoeball, for defences
'Gainst wear and tear of consciences:
So king's anointment cleans betimes,
Like fuller's earth, all spots of crimes,
For future knav'ries gives commissions,
Like Papists sinning under licence.
[Page 17] For heav'n ordain'd the origin,
Divines declare, of pain and sin;
Prove such great good they both have done us;
Kind mercy 'twas they came upon us:
For without pain and sin and folly
Man ne'er were blest, or wise, or holy;
And we should * thank the Lord, 'tis so,
As authors grave wrote long ago.
Now heav'n its issues never brings
Without the means, and these are kings;
And he, who blames when they announce ills;
Would counteract th' eternal counsels.
As when the Jews a murm'ring race,
By constant grumblings fell from grace,
Heav'n taught them first to know their distance
By famine, slav'ry and Philistines;
When these could no repentance bring,
In wrath it sent them last a king:
So nineteen, 'tis believ'd, in twenty
Of modern kings for plagues are sent you;
Nor can your cavillers pretend,
But that they answer well their end.
'Tis yours to yield to their command,
As rods in Providence's hand;
And is it means to send you pain,
You turn your noses up in vain;
Your only way's in peace to bear it,
And make necessity a merit.
Hence sure perdition must await
The man, who rises 'gainst the state,
Who meets at once the damning sentence,
Without one loophole for repentance;
E'en tho' he 'gain the royal see,
And rank among the pow'rs that be:
[Page 18] For hell is theirs, the scripture shows,
Whoe'er the pow'rs that be oppose,
And all those pow'rs (I am clear that 'tis [...])
Are damn'd for ever, ex officio.
Thus far our Clergy; but 'tis true,
We lack'd not earthly reas'ners too.
Had I the * Poet's brazen lungs
As sound-board to his hundred tongues,
I could not half the scriblers muster
That swarm'd round Rivington in cluster,
Assemblies, Councilmen, forsooth;
Brush, Cooper, Wilkins, Chandler, Booth.
Yet all their arguments and sap' [...]nce,
You did not value at three halfpence.
Did not our Massachusettensis †
For your conviction strain his senses?
Scrawl ev'ry moment he could spare,
From cards and barbers and the fair;
Show, clear as sun in noonday heavens,
You did not feel a single grievance;
Demonstrate all your opposition
Sprung from the § eggs of foul sedition;
Swear he had seen the nest she laid in,
And knew how long she had been sitting;
Could tell exact what strength of heat is
Requir'd to hatch her out Committees;
What shapes they take, and how much longer's
The space before they grow t' a Congress?
New whitewash'd Hutchinson and varnish'd,
Our Gage, who'd got a little tarnish'd,
[Page 19] Made 'em new masks, in time no doubt,
For Hutchinson's was quite worn out;
And while he muddled all his head,
You did not heed a word he said.
Did not our grave † Judge Sewall hit
The summit of news-paper wit?
Fill'd ev'ry leaf of ev'ry paper
Of Mills and Hicks and mother Draper;
Drew proclamations, works of toil,
In true sublime of scarecrow style;
Wrote farces too, 'gainst Sons of Freedom,
All for your good, and none would read 'em;
Denounc'd damnation on their frenzy,
Who died in Whig-impenitency;
Affirm'd that heav'n would lend us aid,
As all our Tory-writers said,
And calculated so its kindness,
He told the moment when it join'd us."
" 'Twas then belike, Honorius cried,
When you the public fast defied,
Refus'd to heav'n to raise a prayer,
Because you'd no connections there:
And since with rev'rent hearts and faces
To Governors you'd made addresses,
In them, who made you Tories, seeing
You lived and mov'd and had your being;
Your humble vows you would not breathe
To pow'rs you'd no acquaintance with."
"As for your fasts, replied our 'Squire,
What circumstance could fasts require;
[Page 20] We kept them not, but 'twas no crime;
We held them merely loss of time.
For what advantage firm and lasting,
Pray did you ever get by fasting?
And what the gains that can arise
From vows and off'rings to the skies?
Will heav'n reward with posts and fees,
Or send us Tea, as Consignees,
Give pensions, sal'ries, places, bribes,
Or chuse us judges, clerks, or scribes?
Has it commissions in its gift,
Or cash, to serve us at a lift?
Are acts of parliament there made,
To carry on the placeman's trade?
Or has it pass'd a single bill
To let us plunder whom we will?
And look our list of placemen all over;
Did heav'n appoint our chief judge, Oliver,
[...]ill that high bench with ignoramus,
Or has it councils by mandamus?
Who made that wit of * water-gruel,
A Judge of Admiralty, Sewall?
And were they not mere earthly struggles,
That rais'd up Murray, say, and Ruggles?
Did heav'n send down, our pains to med'cine,
That old simplicity of Edson,
Or by election pick out from us,
That Marshfield blund'rer Nat. Ray Thomas;
Or had it any hand in serving
A Loring, Pepp'rell, Browne, or Erving?
Yet we've some saints, the very thing,
We'll pit against the best you'll bring.
For can the strongest fancy paint
Than Hutchinson a greater saint?
Was there a parson used to pray
At times more reg'lar twice a day;
[Page 21] As folks exact have dinners got,
Whether they've appetites or not?
Was there a zealot more alarming
'Gainst public vice to hold forth sermon,
Or fix'd at church, whose inward motion
Roll'd up his eyes with more devotion?
What Puritan could ever pray
In Godlier tone, than treas'rer * Gray,
Or at town-meetings speechify'ng,
Could utter more melodious whine,
And shut his eyes and vent his moan,
Like owl afflicted in the sun?
Who once [...]nt home his canting rival,
Lord Dartmouth's self, might out be drivel."
"Have you forgot, Honorius cried,
How your prime saint the truth defied,
Affirm'd he never wrote a line
Your charter'd rights to undermine;
When his own letters then were by,
That prov'd his message all a lie?
How many promises he seal'd,
To get th' oppressive acts repeal'd,
Yet once arriv'd on England's shore,
Set on the Premier to pass more?
But these are no defects, we grant,
In a right loyal Tory saint,
Whose godlike virtues must with ease
Atone such venal crimes as these:
Or ye perhaps in scripture spy
A new commandment, " Thou shalt lie;"
And if 't be so (as who can tell?)
There's no one sure ye keep so well."
" Quoth he, For lies and promise-breaking
Ye need not be in such a taking;
[Page 22] For lying is, we know and teach,
The highest privilege of speech;
The universal Magna Charta,
To which all human race is party,
Whence children first, as David says,
Lay claim to 't in their earliest days;
The only stratagem in war,
Our Gen'rals have occasion for;
The only freedom of the press
Our politicians need in peace:
And 'tis a shame you wish t' abridge us
Of these our darling privileges.
Thank heav'n, your shot have miss'd their aim,
For lying is no sin, or shame.
As men last wills may change again,
Tho' drawn in name of God, amen;
Besure they must have much the more,
O'er promises as great a pow'r,
Which made in haste, with small inspection,
So much the more will need correction;
And when they've careless spoke, or penn'd 'em,
Have right to look 'em o'er and mend 'em;
Revise their vows, or change the text,
By way of codicil annex'd,
Turn out a promise, that was base,
And put a better in its place.
So Gage of late agreed, you know,
To let the Boston people go;
Yet when he saw 'gainst troops that brav'd him,
They were the only guards that sav'd him,
Kept off that Satan of a Putnam,
From breaking in to maul and mutt'n him;
He'd too much wit such leagues t' observe,
And shut them in again to starve.
So Moses writes, when female Jews
Made oaths and vows unfit for use,
[Page 23] Their parents then might set them free
From that conscientious tyranny:
And shall men feel that spir'tual bondage
Forever, when they grow beyond age;
Nor have pow'r their own oaths to change?
I think the tale were very strange.
Shall vows but bind the stout and strong,
And let go women weak and young,
As nets enclose the larger crew,
And let the smaller fry creep thro'?
Besides, the Whigs have all been set on,
The Tories to affright and threaten,
Till Gage amidst his trembling sits
Has hardly kept him in his wits;
And tho' he speak with art and finesse,
'Tis said beneath duress per minas.
For we're in peril of our souls
From feathers, tar and lib'rty-poles:
And vows extorted are not binding
In law, and so not worth the minding
For we have in this hurly-burly
Sent off our consciences on furlow,
Thrown our religion o'er in form;
Our ship to lighten in the storm.
Nor need we blush your Whigs before;
If we've no virtue you've no more.
Yet black with sins, would stain a mitre,
Rail ye at crimes by ten tims whiter,
And stuff'd with choler atrabilious,
Insult us here for peccadilloes?
While all your vices run so high
That mercy scarce could find supply:
While should you offer to repent,
You'd need more fasting days than Lent,
More groans than haunted churchyard vallies,
And more confessions than bread-alleys.
[Page 24] I'll show you all at fitter time,
The extent and greatness of your crime▪
And here demonstrate to your face,
Your want of virtue, as of grace,
Evinced from topics old and recent:
But thus much must suffice at present.
To th' after-portion of the day,
I leave what more remains to say;
When I've good hope you'll all appear,
More fitted and prepared to hear,
And griev'd for all your vile demeanour:
But now 'tis time t' adjourn for dinner."
END OF CANTO FIRST.
[Page]

M'FINGAL: CANTO SECOND, OR THE TOWN-MEETING, P. M.

THE Sun, who never [...] to dine,
Two hours had pass'd [...]he midway line,
And driving at his usual rate;
Lash'd on his downward car of state.
And now expired the short vacation,
And dinner done in epic fashion;
While all the crew beneath the trees,
Eat pocket-pies, or bread and cheese;
Nor shall we, like old Homer care
To versify their bill of fare,
For now each party, seasted well,
Throng'd in, like sheep, at sound of bell,
With equal spirit took their places;
And meeting oped with three Oh yesses:
When first the daring Whigs t' oppose,
Again the great M'Fingal rose,
Stretch'd magisterial arm ama [...]n,
And thus assum'd th' accusing strain.
"Ye Whigs attend, and hear affrighted
The crimes whereof ye stand indicted,
The sins and follies past all compass,
That prove you guilty or non compos.
I leave the verdict to your senses,
And jury of your consciences;
[Page 26] Which tho' they're neither good nor true,
Must yet convict you and your crew,
Ungrateful sons! a factious band,
That rise against your parent-land!
Ye viper'd race, that burst in strife,
The welcome womb, that gave you life,
Tear with sharp fangs and forked tongue,
Th' indulgent bowels, whence you sprung;
And scorn the debt of obligation
You justly owe the British nation,
Which since you cannot pay, your crew
Affect to swear 'twas never due,
Did not the deeds of England's Primate
First drive your fathers to this climate,
Whom jails and sines and ev'ry ill
Forc'd to their good against their will?
Ye owe to their obliging temper
The peopling your new tangled empire,
While ev'ry British act and canon
Stood forth [...]ou causa sine qua no [...].
Did they not send you charters [...],
And give you lands you own'd before,
Permit you all to spill your blood,
And drive out heathen where you could▪
On these mild terms, that conquest won,
The realm you gain'd should be their own.
Or when of late attack'd by those,
Whom her connection made your foes,
Did they not then, distrest in war,
Send Gen'rals to your help from far,
Whose aid you own'd in terms less haughty,
And thankfully o'erpaid your quota?
Say, at what period did they grudge
To send you Governor or judge,
With all their missionary crew,
To teach you [...] and gospel too?
[Page 27] Brought o'er all felons in the nation,
To help you on in population;
Propos'd their Bishops to surrender,
And made their Priests a legal tender,
Who only ask'd in surplice clad,
The simple ty the of all you had:
And now to keep all knaves in awe,
Have sent their troops t' establish law,
And with gunpowder, fire and ball,
Reform your people one and all.
Yet when their insolence and pride
Have anger'd all the world beside,
When fear and want at once invade,
Can you refuse to lend them aid;
And rather risq [...]e your heads in fight,
Than gratefully throw in your mite?
Can they for debts make satisfaction,
Should they dispose their realm by auction;
And fell off Britain's goods and land all
To France and Spain by inch of candle?
Shall good king George, w [...]th want opprest,
Insert his name in bankrupt list,
And shut up shop, like failing merchant,
That sears the bailiffs should make search in't;
With poverty shall princes strive,
And nobles lack whereon to live?
Have they not rack'd their whole inventions,
To feed their brats on posts and pensions,
Made ev'n Scotch friends with taxes groan,
And pick'd poor Ireland to the bone;
Yet have on hand as well deserving,
Ten thousand bastards left for starving?
And can you now with conscience clear,
Refuse them an asylum here,
Or not maintain in manner sitting,
These genuine sons of mother Britain?
[Page 28] [...] [...]vade these crimes of blackest grain,
You prate of liberty in vain,
And strive to hide your vile designs,
With terms abstruse like school-divines.
Your boasted patriotism is scarce,
And country's love is but a farce;
And after all the proofs you bring,
We Tories know there's no such thing.
Our English writers of great fame
Prove public virtue but a name.
Hath not * Dalrymple show'd in print,
And * Johnson too, there's nothing in't?
Produc'd you demonstration ample
From other's and their own example,
That self is still, in either faction,
The only principle of action;
The loadstone, whose attracting t [...]ther
Keeps the politic world together:
And spite of all your double-dealing,
We Tories know 'tis so, by feeling.
Who heeds your babbling of transmitting
Freedom to [...] of your begetting,
Or will proceed as though there were a tie,
Or obligation to posterity?
We get 'em, bear 'em, bre [...]d and nurse;
What has poster'ty done for us,
That we, lest they their rights should lose
Should trust our necks to gripe of [...]oose?
And who believes you will not run?
You're cowards, ev'ry mother's son;
And should you offer to deny,
We've [...] to prove it by.
[...] th' opinion first, as refer [...]e,
[...] your old Gen'ral, stout Sir Jeffery,
[Page 29] Who swore that with five thousand foot
He'd rout you all, and in pursuit,
Run thro' the land as easily,
As camel thro' a needle's eye.
Did not the valiant Col'nel Grant
Against your courage make his slant,
Affirm your universal failure
In ev'ry principle of valour,
And swear no scamp'rers e'er could match you,
So swift, a bullet scarce could catch you?
And will ye not confess in this,
A judge most competent he is,
Well skill'd on runnings to decide,
As what himself has often tried?
'Twoul [...] not methinks be labour lost,
If you'd sit down and count the cost;
And ere you call your Yankies out,
First think what work you've set about.
Have ye not rouz'd, his force to try on,
That grim old beast, the British lion?
And know you not that at a sup
He's large enough to eat you up?
Have you survey'd his jaws beneath,
Drawn inventories of his teeth,
Or have you weigh'd in even balance
His strength and magnitude of talons?
His roar would turn your boasts to fear,
As easily as sour small-beer,
And make your feet from dreadful fray,
By native instinct▪ run away.
Britain, depend on't, will take on her
T' assert her dignity and honor,
And ere she'd lose your share of pelf,
Destroy your country and herself.
For has not North declar'd they fight
To gain substantial rev'nue by't,
[Page 30] Denied he'd ever deign to treat,
Till on your knees and at his feet?
And feel you not a trisling ague,
From Van's Delenda est Carthago?
For this, now Britain has come to't,
Think you she has not means to do't?
Has she not set to work all engines
To spirit up the native Indians,
Send on your backs a savage band,
With each a hatchet in his hand,
T' amuse themselves with scalping knives,
And butcher children and your wives;
That she may boast again with vanity,
Her English national humanity?
(For now in its p [...]maeval sense,
This term, human'ty, comprehends
All things of which, on this fide hell,
The human mind is capable;
And thus 'tis well, by writers sage,
Applied to Britain and to Gage.)
And on this work to raise allies,
She sent her duplicate of Guys,
To drive, at diff [...]rent parts at once, on
Her stout Guy Carlton and Guy Johnson;
To each of whom, to send again ye
Old Guy of Warwick were a ninny;
Tho' the dun cow he fell'd in war,
These killcows are his betters far.
And has she not assay'd her notes,
To rouze your slaves to cut your throats,
Sent o'er ambassadors with [...]uineas,
To bribe your blacks in Carolinas?
And has not Ga [...], her missionary
Turn'd many an [...] a Tory,
A [...] made [...] Amer'can [...] see grow,
By [...] a new converted Negro?
[Page 31] As friends to gov'rnment did not he
Their slaves at Boston late set free;
Enlist them all in black parade,
Set off with regimental red?
And were they not accounted then
Among his very bravest men?
And when such means she stoops to take,
Think you she is not wide awake?
As Eliphaz' good man in Job
Own'd num'rous allies thro' the globe;
Had brought the * sto [...]es along the street
To ratify a cov'nant meet,
And ev'ry beast from lice to lions,
To join in leagues of strict alliance:
Has she not cring'd, in spite of pride,
For like assistance for and wide?
Was there a creature so despis'd,
Its and she has not sought and priz'd?
Till all this formidable league rose
Of Indians, British troops and Negroes,
And can you break these triple bands
By all your workmanship of hands?"
" Sir, quoth Honorius, we presume
You guess from past feats, what's to come,
And from [...]he mighty deeds of Gage,
Foretell how fierce the war he'll wage.
You doubtless recollected here
The annals of his first great year:
While wearying out the Tories' patience,
He spent his breath in proclamations;
[Page 32] While all hi [...] mighty noise and vapour
Was used in wrangling upon paper;
And boasted military [...];
Closed in the straining of his wits;
While troops in Boston commons plac'd
Laid nought but quires of paper was [...]e;
While strokes alternate stu [...] [...]'d [...]he nation,
Protest, address and proclamation;
And speech [...]et speech, [...] clash'd wi [...]h fib,
And Gage still answer'd, squib for squib,
Tho' this not all his time was lost on;
He fortified the town of Boston;
Built breast works that might l [...]nd assistance
To keep the patriots at a distance;
(For howsoe'er the rogues might [...],
He liked them best the saith [...] off)
Of mighty use and help to [...]
His courage, when [...],
And whence [...]ight oft in [...] station,
He'd boldly pop his proclamation.
Our hearts must in our bo [...] me [...]eeze
At such heroic deeds as these."
"Vain, quoth the 'Squire, you'll find to [...]
At Gage's first triumphant your;
For Providence, disp [...]d to [...] us,
Can use what instruments it please [...]
To pay a tax at Peter's wish,
His chief cashier was once a Fish;
An Ass, in [...]alaam's sad disaster,
Turn'd orator and sav'd hi [...] master;
A Goose plac'd centry on his [...]
Preserv'd old Rome from desolation;
An English Bishop's * [...] of late
Disclosed rebellions 'gainst the state;
[Page 33] So Frogs croak'd Pharaoh to repentance,
And Lice revers'd the threat'ning sentence:
And heav'n can ruin you at pleasure,
By our scorn'd Gage, as well as Caesar.
Yet did our hero in these days
Pick up some laurel wreaths of praise.
And as the statuary of Seville
Made his crackt saint an exc'llent devil;
So tho' our war few triumphs brings,
We gain'd great same in other things.
Did not our troops show much discerning,
And skill your various arts in learning?
Outwent they not each native Noodle
By far in playing Yanky-doodle;
Which, as 'twas your New-England tune;
'Twas marvellous they took so soon?
And ere the year was fully thro',
Did not they learn to [...]oot it too;
And such a dance as ne'er was known,
For twenty miles on end lead down?
Was there a Yanky trick you knew,
They did not play as well as you?
Did they not lay their heads together,
And gain your art to tar and feather,
When Col'nel Nesbitt thro' the town,
In triumph bore the country-clown?
Oh, what a glorious work to sing
The ve [...]'ran troops of Britain's king,
Advent'ring for th' heroic laurel,
With bag of feathers and tar-barrel [...]
To paint the cart where culprits ride,
And Nesbitt marching at its side,
Great executioner and proud,
Like hangman high on Holbourn road;
And o'er the bright triumpha [...] car
The waving ensigns of the war!
[Page 34] As when a triumph Rome decreed,
For great Calig'la's valiant deed,
Who had subdued the British seas,
By gath' [...]ing cockles from their base;
In pompous [...]ar the conqu'ror bore
His captiv'd scallops from the shore,
Ovations gain'd his crabs for fetching,
And mighty seats of oyster-catching:
O'er Yankies thus the war begun,
They tarr'd and triumph'd over one;
And sought and boasted thro' the season,
With might as great, and equal reason.
Y [...] thus, tho' skill'd in vict'ry's toils,
They boast, not unexpert, in wiles.
For gain'd they not an equal same in
The arts of f [...]crecy and scheming?
In stratagems show'd mighty force,
And moderniz'd the Trojan horse,
Play'd o'er again those tricks Ulyssea [...],
In their fam'd Salem-expedition?
For as that horse, the Poets tell ye,
Bore Grecian armies in his belly;
Till their full reck'ning run, with joy
Their Sinon midwif'd them in Troy:
So in one ship was Leslie bold
Cramm'd with three hundred men in hold,
Equipp'd for enterprize and sail,
Like Jonas stow'd in womb of whale.
To Marblehead in depth of night,
The cautious vessel wing'd her flight.
And now the sabbath's silent day
Call'd all your Yankies off to pray;
Remov'd each prying jealous neighbour,
The scheme and vessel fell in labour;
Forth from its hollow womb pour'd hastily
The Myrmidons of Col'n [...]l Leslie:
[Page 35] Not thicker o'er the blacken'd strand
The * frogs' detachment rush'd to land,
Equipp'd by onset or surprize
To storm th' entrenchment of the mice.
Thro' Salem strait without delay,
The bold battalion took its way,
March'd o'er a bridge in open sight
Of sev'ral Yankies arm'd for fight,
Then without loss of time, or men
Veer'd round for Boston back again;
And found so well their projects thrive,
That ev'ry soul got home alive.
Thus Gage's arms did fortune bless
With triumph, safety and success:
But mercy is without dispute
His first and darling attribute;
So great it far outwent and conquer'd
His military skill at Concord.
There when the war he chose to wage
Shone the benevolence of Gage;
Sent troops to that ill-omen'd place
On errands meer of special grace,
And all the work he chose them for
Was to † prevent a civil war:
And for that purpose he projected
The only certain way t' effect it,
To take your powder, stores and arms,
And all your means of doing harms:
As prudent folks take knives away,
Lest children cut themselves at play.
And yet tho' this was all his scheme,
This war you still will charge on him;
[Page 36] And tho' he oft has swore and said it,
Stick close to facts and give no credit.
Think you, he wish'd you'd brave and beard him?
Why, 'twas the very thing that scar'd him.
He'd rather you should all have run,
Than stay'd to fire a single gun.
And for the civil war you lament,
Faith, you yourselves must take the blame in't;
For had you then, as he intended,
Giv'n up your arms, it must have ended.
Since that's no war, each mortal knows,
Where one side only gives the blows,
And th' other bears 'em; on reflection
The most you' [...] call it is correction.
Nor could the contest have gone higher,
If you had ne'er return'd the fire;
But when you shot, and not before,
It then commenc'd a civil war.
Else Gage, to end this controversy,
Had but corrected you in mercy:
Whom mother Britain old and wise,
Sent o'er, the Col'nies to chastise;
Command obedience on their peril
Of ministerial whip and ferule;
And since they ne'er must come of age,
Govern'd and tutor'd them by Gage.
Still more, that this was all their errand,
The army's conduct makes apparent.
What tho' at Lexington you can say
They kil [...]'d a few they did not fancy,
At Concord then, with manful popping,
Discharg'd a round the ball to open?
Yet when they saw your rebel-rout
Determin'd still to hold it out;
Did they not show their love to peace,
And wish, that discord strait might cease,
[Page 37] Demonstrate, and by proofs uncommon,
Their orders were to injure no man?
For did not ev'ry Reg'lar run
As soon as e'er you fir'd a gun;
Take the first shot you sent them greeting,
As meant their signal for retreating;
And fearful if they staid for sport,
You might by accident be hurt,
Convey themselves with speed away
Full twenty miles in half a day;
Race till their legs were grown so weary,
They'd scarce suffice their weight to carry?
Whence Gage extols, from gen'ral hearsay,
The great * activ'ty of Lord Piercy;
Whose brave example led them on,
And spirited the troops to run;
And now may boast at royal levees
A Yanky-chace worth forty Chevys.
Yet you as vile as they were kind,
Pursued, like tygers, still behind,
Fir'd on them at your will, and shut
The town, as tho' you'd starve them out;
And with † parade prepost' rous hedg'd
A [...]ct to hold them there besieg'd;
(Tho' Gage, whom proclamations call
Your Gov'r [...] and Vice-Admiral,
Whose pow'r gubernatorial still
Extends as far as Bunker's hill;
Whose admiralty reaches clever,
Near half a mile up Mystic river,
[Page 38] Whose naval force commands the seat,
Can run away when'er he please)
Scar'd troops of Tories into town,
And burnt their hay and houses down,
And menac'd Gage, unless he'd flee,
To drive him headlong to the sea;
As once, to faithless Jews a sign,
The de'el, turn'd hog-reeve, did the swine,
But now your triumphs all are o'er;
For see from Britain's angry shore
With mighty ho [...]s of valour join
Her Howe, her Clinton and Burgoyne.
As comets thro' the affrighted skies
Pour baleful ruin, as they rife;
As AE [...] with infernal roar
In conflagration sweeps the shore;
Or as * Abi [...]h White when sent
Our Marshfield friends to represent,
Himself while dread array involves,
Commissions, [...], swords, resolves,
In awful pomp descending down,
Bore terror on the factious town:
Not wi [...]h less [...] and [...],
[...] these Gen [...]rals [...]orth to fight.
No more each [...] † Col'nel run.
From w [...]zzing beetles, as air- [...],
[Page 39] Thinks hornbugs bullets, or thro' scars
Muskitoes takes for musketeers;
Nor scapes, as tho' you'd gain'd allies
From B [...]lz [...]bub's whole host of flies.
No bug their warlike hearts appalls;
They better know the [...]ound of balls.
I hear the di [...] of battle bray,
The trump of horror marks its way.
I see a far the sack of [...],
The gallows strung with Whig-committees;
Your Moderators triced, like [...],
And gate-posts graced with heads of Chairmen;
Your Gen'rals sor wave-o [...]rings hanging,
And ladders throng'd with Priests haranguing.
Wh [...] pill [...]ries glad the Tories' eyes
With patriot- [...] [...]or sacrifice!
What whipping-posts your chosen race
Admit [...] in embrace,
While each hears off his crimes, [...]!
Like Bunyan's pilgrim, on his back!
Where then, when To ies scarce got clear,
Shall Whigs and Congresses appear?
What rock, and mountains shall you call
To wrap you over with their fall,
And save your heads in these sad weathers,
From fire and sword, and tar and feathers
For [...]o, with British troops [...],
Again our Ne [...]t heaves in [...]:
He comes, he comes, your [...] to storm,
And ri [...]g your troops in uniform!
To m [...]t such [...] will ye [...],
With [...];
Who wield their [...],
With [...]!
[...], where [...] brings
Destruction on [...],
[Page 40] While thro' the deeps her potent thunder
Shall sound th' alarm to rob and plunder!
As Phoebus first, so Homer speaks,
When he march'd out t' attack the Greeks,
Gainst [...] sent forth his arrows fatal,
And slow th' auxiliaries, their cattle;
So where our ships shall stretch the keel,
What conquer'd oxen shall they steal!
What heroes rising from the deep
Invade your marshall'd hosts of sheep!
Disperse whole troops of horse, and pressing
Make cows surrender at discretion;
Attack your hens, like Alexanders,
And reg'ments rout of geese and ganders;
Or where united arms combine
Lead captive many a herd of swine!
Then rush in dreadful fury down
To fire on ev'ry seaport town;
Display their glory and their wits,
Fright unar [...]'d children into sits,
And stoutly from th' unequal fray,
Make many a woman run away!
And can ye doubt whene'er we please
Our chiefs shall boast such deeds as these
Have we not chiefs transcending far,
The old fam'd thunderbolts of war;
Beyond the brave romantic fighters,
Stiled swords of death by novel-writers?
Nor in romancing ages e'er rose
So terrible a tier of heroes.
From Gage, what flashes fright the waves!
How loud a blunderbuss is Graves!
How Newport dreads the blustring sallies,
That thunder from our popgun, Wallace,
While noise in formidable strains
Spouts from his thimble-full of brains!
[Page 41] I see you sink with aw'd surprize!
I see our Tory-brethren rise!
And as the sect'ries Sandemanian,
Our friends describe their wish'd Millennium;
Tell how the world in ev'ry region
At once shall own their true religion;
For heav'n with plagues of awful dread
Shall knock all heretics o' th' head;
And then their church, the meek in spirit,
The earth, as promis'd, shall inherit,
From the dead wicked, as heirs male,
And next remainder-men in tail:
Such ruin shall the Whigs oppress!
Such spoils our Tory friends shall bless!
While Consiscation at command
Shall stalk in horror thro' the land,
Shall give your Whig-estates away,
And call our brethren into play.
And can ye doubt or scruple more,
These things are near you at the door?
Behold! for tho' to reas'ning blind,
Signs of the times ye sure might mind,
And view impending sate as plain
As ye'd foretell a show'r of rain.
Hath not heav'n warn'd you what must ensue,
And Providence declar'd against you;
Hung forth its dire portents of war,
By * signs and beacons in the air;
Alarm'd old women all around
By fearful noises under ground;
While earth for many dozen leagues
Groan'd with her dismal load or Whigs?
[Page 42] Was there a meteor far and wide
But muster'd on the Tory-side?
A star malign that has not bent
Its aspects for the Parliament,
Foreboding your defeat and misery;
As once they sought against old Sisera?
Was there a cloud that spread the skies,
But bore our armies of allies?
While dreadful hosts of fire stood forth
'Mid baleful glimm'rings from the North;
Which plainly shows which part they join'd,
For North's the minister, ye mind;
Whence oft your quibblers in gazettes
On Northern blasts have strain'd their wits;
And think ye not the clouds know how
To make the pun as well as you?
Did there arise an apparition,
But grinn'd sorth ruin to sedition?
A death-watch, but has join'd our leagues,
And click'd destruction to the Whigs?
Heard ye not, when the wind was fair,
At night our or'tors in the air,
That, loud as admiralty-libel,
Read awful chapters from the bible,
And death and deviltry denounc'd,
And told you how you'd soon be trounc'd?
I see to join our conqu'ring side
Heav'n, earth and hell at once allied!
See from your overthrow and end
The Tories paradise ascend;
Like that new world that claims its station
Beyond the final conflagration!
I see the day that lo [...]s your share
In utter darkness and despair;
The day of joy, when North, our Lord,
His saithful favorites shall reward!
[Page 43] No Tory then shall set before him
Small wish of 'Squire, or Justice Quo [...]:
But 'fore his unmistaken eyes
See Lordships, posts and pensions [...]i [...]e.
A wake to gladness then, ye Tories,
Th' unbounce [...] prospect lies before us?
The pow'r displayed in Gage's banners
Shall cut Amer'can lands to manors,
And o'er our happy conquer'd ground
Dispense estates and titles round.
Behold, the world shall stare at new setts
Of home-made * earls in Massachusetts;
Admire, array'd in ducal tassels,
Your Ol'vers, Hutchinsons and Vassals;
See join'd in minsterial work
His grace of Albany and York!
What Lordships from each carv'd estate,
On our New-York Assembly wait!
What titled † Jaun [...]vs, Gales and Bi [...]ops;
Lord Brush, Lord Wilkins and Lord Philips!
In wide-sleev'd pomp of godly guise,
What solemn [...]ows of bishops rise!
Aloft a card'nal's hat is spread
O'er punster sect Cooper's rev'rend head!
In Vardel' hat poetic zealot,
I view a lawn-bedizen'd prelate!
While mitres fall, as 'tis their duty,
On heads of Chandler and Auchmuty!
Knights, viscounts, barons shall ye meet
As thick as pavements in the street!
[Page 44] Ev'n I perhaps, heav'n speed my claim,
Shall fix a Sir before my name.
For titles all our foreheads ache;
For what blest changes can they make!
Place rev'rence, grace and excellence
Where neither claim'd the least pretence;
Transform by patent's magic words
Men, likest devils, into Lords;
Whence commoners to peers translated
Are justly said to be created!
Now where commissioners ye saw
Shall boards of nobles deal you law!
Long-rob'd comptrollers judge your rights,
And tide-waiters start up in knights!
While Whigs subdued in slavish awe,
Our wood shall hew, our water draw,
And bless that mildness, when past hope,
Which sav'd their necks from noose of rope,
For as to gain assistance we
Design their Negroes to set free;
For Whigs, when we enough shall bang 'em,
Perhaps 'tis better not to hang 'em;
Except their chiefs; the vulgar knaves
Will do more good preserv'd for slaves."
"'Tis well, Honorius cried, your scheme
Has painted out a pretty dream.
We can't confute your second sight;
We shall be slaves and you a knight:
These things must come: but I divine
They'll come not in your day, or mine.
But oh, my friends, my brethren, hear,
And turn for once th' attentive ear.
Ye see how prompt to aid our woes,
The tender mercies of our foes;
Ye see wi [...]h what unvaried rancour
[...]till for our blood their minions hanker,
[Page 45] Nor aught can sate their mad ambition,
From us, but death, or worse, submission.
Shall these then riot in our spoil,
Reap the glad harvest of our toil,
Rise from their country's ruin proud,
And roll their chariot wheels in blood?
And can ye sleep while high out spread
Hangs desolation o'er your head?
See Gage with inauspicious star
Has oped the gates of civil war;
When streams of gore from freemen slain,
E [...]rimson'd Concord's fatal plain;
Whose warning voice with awful sound,
Still cries, like Abel's from the ground,
And heav'n, attentive to its call,
Shall doom the proud oppressor's [...]all.
Rise then, ere ruin [...] surprize,
To victory, to vengeance rise!
Hark, how the distant din alarms!
The echoing trumpet breathes, to arms;
From provinces remote, afar,
The sons of glory rouze to war;
'Tis freedom calls; th' enraptur'd sound
The Apalachian hills rebound;
The Georgian shores her voice shall hear,
And start from lethargies of fear.
From the parch'd zone, with glowing ray,
Where pours the sun intenser day,
To shores where icy waters roll,
And tremble to the dusky pole,
Inspir'd by freedom's heav'nly charms,
United nations wake to arms.
The star of conquest lights their way,
And guides their vengeance on their prey—
Yes, tho' tyrannic sorce oppose,
Still shall they triumph o'er their soes,
[Page 46] Fill heav'n the happy land shall bless,
Wi [...]h safety, liberty and peace.
And ye whose souls of dastard mould
Start at the brav'ry of the bold;
To love your country who pretend,
Yet want all spirit to defend;
Who feel your fancies so prolific,
Engend'ring vision'd whims terrific,
O'er-run with horrors of coercion,
Fire, blood and thunder in reversion,
King's standards, pill'ries, confiscations,
And Gage's scarecrow proclamations,
With all the trumpery of fear;
Hear bullets whizzing in your rear;
Who scarce could rouze, if caught in fray,
Presence of mind to run away;
See nought but halters rise to view
In all your dreams (and dreams are true)
And while these phantoms haunt your brains,
Bow down the willing neck to chains;
Heav'ns! are ye sons of sires so great,
Immortal in the fields of fate,
Who brav'd all deaths by land or sea,
Who bled, who conquer'd to be free!
Hence, coward souls, the worst disgrace
Of our forefathers' valiant race;
Hie homeward from the glorious field;
There turn the wheel, the distaff wield;
Act what ye are, nor dare to stain
The warrior's arms with touch profane:
There beg your more heroic wives
To guard your children and your lives;
Beneath their aprons find a screen,
Nor dare to mingle more with men."
As thus he said, the Tories' anger
Could now restrain itself no longer,
[Page 47] Who tried before by many a freak, or
Insulting noise, to stop the speaker;
Swung th' unoil'd hinge of each pew-door;
Their feet kept shuffling on the floor;
Made their disapprobation known
By many a murmur, hum and groan,
That to his speech supplied the place
Of counterpart in thorough-base:
As bag-pipes, while the tune they breathe,
Still drone and grumble underneath;
Or as the sam'd Demosthenes
Harangued the rumbling of the seas,
H [...]ld forth with eloquence full grave
To audience loud of wind and wave;
And had a stiller congregation
Than Tories are to hear th' oration.
But now the storm grew high and louder
As nearer thundrings of a cloud are,
And ev'ry soul with heart and voice
Supplied his quota of the noise;
[...] [...]ning [...]ar was set on torture
Each [...]ory bell' wing out, to order;
And some, with tongue not low or weak,
Were clam'ring fast, for leave to speak;
The moderator, with great vi' [...]ence,
The cushion thump'd with "Silence, silence;"
The constable to ev'ry prater
Bawl'd out, " Pray hear the moderator;"
Some call'd the vote, and some in turn
Were screaming high, " adjourn, adjourn:"
Not cha [...]s heard such [...]ars and clashes
When [...]ll the el'ments sought for places.
Each bludgeon soon for [...];
Each [...] stood ready [...];
The storm each moment louder grew;
His sword the great M'Ti [...] dr [...]w,
[Page 48] Prepar'd in either chance to share,
To keep the peace, or aid the war.
Nor lack'd they each poetic being,
Whom bards alone are skill'd in secing;
Plumb'd Victory stood perch'd on high,
Upon the pulpit-canopy,
To join, as is her custom tried,
Like Indians, on the strongest side;
The Destinies with shears and distaf [...],
Drew near their threads of life to twist off;
The Furies 'gan to feast on blows,
And broken heads or bloody nose;
When on a sudden from without
Arose a loud terrific shout;
And strait the people all at once heard
Of tongues an universal concert;
Like AEsop's times, as sable runs,
When ev'ry creature talk'd at once,
Or like the variegated gabble
That craz'd the carpenters of Babel,
Each party soon forgot the quarrel,
And let the other go on parole;
Eager to know what fearful matter
Had conjur'd up such gen'ral clatter;
And left the church in thin array,
As tho' it had been lecture-day.
Our 'Squire M'Fingal straitway beckon [...]d
The constable to stand his second,
And sallied forth with aspect fierce
The croud assembled to disperse.
The moderator out of view
Beneath a bench had lain p [...]rdue;
Peep'd up his head to view the [...]ay,
Beheld the wranglers run away,
And left alone with solemn face,
Adjourn'd them without time or place.
END OF CANTO SECOND.
[Page]

M 'FINGAL: CANTO THIRD, OR THE LIBERTY POLE.

NOW arm'd with ministerial ire,
Fierce sallied forth our loyal 'Squire,
And on his striding steps attends,
His desp'rate clan of Tory friends;
When sudden met his angry eye,
A pole, ascending thro' the sky,
Which num'rous throngs of Whiggish race
Were raising in the market-place;
Not higher school-boys kites aspire,
Or royal mas [...] or country spire,
Like spears at [...] tilting
Or Satan's walking-staff in Milton;
And on its top the flag unfurl'd,
Waved triumph o'er the prostrate world,
Inscribed with inconsistent types
Of liberty and thirteen stripes.
Beneath, the croud without delay,
The dedication-rites essay,
And gladly pay in antient fashion,
The ceremonies of libation;
While briskly to each patriot lip
Walks eager round th' inspiring f [...]ip:
[Page 50] Delicious draught, whose pow'rs inherit
The quintessence of public spirit!
Which whoso tastes, perceives his mind!
To nobler politics refined,
Or rouz'd for martial controversy,
As from transforming cups of Circe;
Or warm'd with Homer's nectar'd liquor,
That fill'd the veins of gods with ichor.
At hand for new supplies in store,
The tavern opes its friendly door,
Whence to and fro the waiters run,
Like bucket-men at fires in town.
Then with three shouts that tore the sky,
'Tis consecrate to Liberty;
To guard it from th' attacks of Tories,
A grand committee cull'd of four is,
Who foremost on the patriot spot,
Had brought the flip and paid the shot.
By this, M'Fingal with his train,
Advanc'd upon th' adjacent plain,
And fierce with loyal rage possess'd,
Pour'd forth the zeal, that fired his breast.
" What madbrain'd rebel gave commission,
To raise this Maypole of fedition!
Like Babel rear'd by bawling throngs,
With like confusion too of tongues,
To point at heav'n and summon down,
The thunders of the British crown?
Say will this paltry pole secure
Your forfeit heads from Gage's pow'r?
Attack'd by heroes brave and crafty,
Is this to stand your ark of safety?
Or driv'n by Scottish laird and laddie,
Think ye to rest beneath its shadow?
When bombs, like fiery serpents, fly
And balls move hissing thro' the sky,
[Page 51] Will this vile [...], devote to freedom,
Save like the [...]ewish pole in Edom,
Or like the brazen snake of Moses,
Cure your crackt skulls and batter'd noses?
Ye dupes to ev'ry factious rogue,
Or tavernprating demagogue,
Whose tongue but rings, with sound more full,
On th' empty drumhead of his skull,
Behold you know not what noisy fools
Use you, worse simpletons, for tools?
For Liberty in your own by-sense
Is but for crimes a patent licence;
To break of law th' Egyptian yoke,
And throw the world in common stock,
Reduce all grievances and ills
To Magna Charta of your wills,
Establish cheats and frauds and nonsense,
Fram'd by the model of your conscience,
Cry justice down, as out of fashion
And fix its scale of depreciation,
Defy all creditors to trouble ye,
And pass new years of Jewish jubilee;
Drive judges out, like Aaron's calves,
By jurisdictions of white s [...]aves,
And make the bar and benc [...] and steeple,
Submit t' our sov'reign Lord, the People;
Assure each knave his whole assets,
By gen'ral amnesty of debts;
By plunder rise to pow'r and glory,
And brand all property as tory;
Expose all wares to lawful seizures
Of mobbers and monopolizers;
Break heads and windows and the peace,
For your own int'rest and increase;
Dispute and pray and fight and groan,
For public good, and mean your own;
[Page 52] Prevent the laws, by fierce attacks,
From quitting scores upon your backs,
Lay your old dread, the gallows, low,
And seize the stocks your antient foe;
And turn them, as convenient engines
To wreak your patriotic vengeance;
While all, your claims who understand,
Confess they're in the owner's hand [...]
And when by clamours and confusions,
Your freedom's grown a public nuisance,
Cry, Liberty, with pow'rful yearning,
As he does, fire, whose house is burning,
Tho' he already has much more,
Than he can find occasion for.
While ev'ry dunce, that turns the plains
Tho' bankrupt in estate and brains,
By this new light transform'd to traitor,
Forsakes his plow to turn dictator,
Starts an haranguing chief of Whigs,
And drags you by the ears, like pigs.
All bluster arm'd with factious licence,
Transform'd at once to politicians;
[...] leather-aproa'd clown grown wise,
Presents his forward face t' advise,
And [...] legislators meet
From ev'ry workshop thro' the street;
His goose the tailor finds new use in,
To patch and turn the constitution;
The black smith comes with sledge and grate,
To [...]onbind the wheels of state;
The quack forbears his patient's souse,
To purge the Council and the House,
The tinker quits his melds and doxies,
To east assembly-men at proxies.
From dunghills deep of sable hue,
Your dirtbred patriots spring to view,
[Page 53] To wealth and pow'r and pension rise,
Like new-wing'd maggots chang'd to flies;
And sluttring round in proud parade,
Strut in the robe, or gay cockade.
See * Arnold quits for ways more certain,
His bankrupt perj'ries for his fortune,
Brews rum no longer in his store,
Jockey and skipper now no more;
Forsakes his warehouses and docks,
And writs of slander for the po [...],
And purg'd by patriotism from shame,
Grows Gen'ral of the foremost name.
† Hiatus.
For in this ferment of the stream,
The dregs have work'd up to the brim,
And by the rule of topsyturvys,
The skum stands swelling on the surface.
You've caus'd your pyramid t' ascend
And set it on the little end;
Like Hudibras, your empire's made,
Whose crapper had o'ertop'd his head;
You've pash'd and turn'd the whole world up-
Side down and got yourselves a-top:
[Page 54] While all the great ones of your state,
Are crush'd beneath the pop'lar weight,
Nor can you boast this present hour,
The shadow of the form of pow'r.
For what's your Congress, or its end?
A power t' advise and recommend;
To call for troops, adjust your quotas,
And yet no soul is bound to notice;
To pawn your faith to th' utmost limit,
But cannot bind you to redeem it,
And when in want no more in them lies,
Than begging of your State-Assemblies;
Can utter oracles of dread,
Like friar Bacon's brazen head,
But should a faction e'er dispute 'em,
Has ne'er an arm to execute 'em.
As tho' you chose supreme dictators,
And put them under conservators;
You've but pursued the selfsame way,
With Shakespeare's Trinclo in the play,
" You shall be viceroys here, 'tis true,
But we'll be viceroys over you."
What wild confusion hence must ensue,
Tho' common danger yet cements you;
So some wreck'd vessel, all in shatters,
Is held up by surrounding waters,
But stranded, when the pressure ceases,
Falls by its rottenness to pieces.
And fall it must—if wars were ended,
You'll ne'er have sense enough to mend it;
But creeping on with low intrigues
Like vermin of an hundred legs,
Will find as short a life assign'd,
As all things else of reptile kind.
Your Commonwealth's a common harlot,
The property of ev'ry varlet,
[Page 55] Which now in taste and full employ,
All sorts admire, as all enjoy;
But soon a batter'd strumpet grown,
You'll curse and drum her out of town.
Such is the government you chose,
For this you bade the world be foes,
For this so mark'd for dissolution,
You scorn the British constitution,
That constitution, form'd by sages,
The wonder of all modern ages:
Which owns no failure in reality,
Except corruption and venality;
And only proves the adage just,
That best things spoil'd corrupt to worst.
So man supreme in mortal station,
And mighty lord of this creation,
When once his corse is dead as herring,
Becomes the most offensive carrion,
And sooner breeds the plague, 'tis found,
Than all beasts rotting 'bove the ground.
Yet for this gov'rnment, to dismay us,
You've call'd up anarchy from chaos,
With all the followers of her school,
Uproar and rage and wild misrule;
For whom this rout of Whigs distracted
And ravings dire of ev'ry crack'd head;
These new-cast legislative engines
Of county-musters and conventions,
Committees vile of correspondence,
And mobs, whose tricks have almost undone's;
While reason fails to check your course,
And loyalty's kick'd out of door [...],
And folly, like inviting landlord,
Hoists on your poles her royal standard.
While the king's friends in doleful dumps,
Have worn their courage to the stumps,
[Page 56] And leaving George in sad disaster,
Most sinfully deny their master.
What furies raged when you in sea,
In shape of Indians drown'd the tea,
When your gay sparks, fatigued to watch it,
Assumed the moggison and hatchet,
With wampo [...]d blankets hid their laces,
And like their sweethearts, primed their faces:
While not a redcoat dar'd oppose,
And scarce a Tory show'd his nose,
While Hutchinson for sure retreat,
Manouvred to his country seat,
And thence affrighted in the [...],
Stole off bareheaded thro' the woods!
Have you not rous'd your [...] to join,
And make Mandamus-man resign,
Call'd forth cach du [...]-fress'd curmudgeon,
With dirty trowsers and white bludgeon,
Forc'd all our Councils th [...] the land,
To yield their necks to your command;
While paleness marks their late disgraces
Thro' all their rueful length of faces?
Have you not caused as woful work,
In loyal city of New-York,
When all the rabble well cockaded,
In triumph thro' the streets paraded;
And mobb'd the Tories, seared their spouses,
And ransack'd all the custom-houses,
Made such a tumult, bluster, jarring,
That mid the clash of tempests warring,
Smith's weathercock with veers forlorn,
Could hardly tell which way to turn;
Burnt effigies of th' higher powers,
Contriv'd in planetary hours,
As witches with clay-images,
Destroy or torture whom they please;
[Page 57] Till sired with rage, th' ungrateful club
Spared not your best friend, Belzebub,
O'erlook'd his favours and forgot
The rev'rence due his cloven foot,
And in the selfsame furnace frying,
Burn'd him and North and Bute and Tryon?
Did you not in as vile and shallow way,
Fright our poor Philadelphian, Galloway,
Your Congress when the daring ribald
Belied, berated and besribbled?
What ropes and halters did you send,
Terrific emblems of his end,
Till least he'd hang in more than effigy,
Fled in a fog the trembling refugee?
Now rising in progression fatal,
Have you not ventur'd to give battle?
When treason cha [...]d our heroes troubled,
With rusty gun and leathern doublet,
Turn'd all stonewalls and groves and bushes,
To ba [...]t'ries arm'd with blunderbusses,
And with deep wounds that fate portend,
Gaul'd many a reg'lar's latter end,
Drove them to Boston, as in jail,
Confined without mainprize or bail.
Were not these deeds enough betimes,
To heap the measure of your crimes,
But in this loyal town and dwelling,
You raise these en [...]gns of rebellion?
'Tis done; fair Mercy shuts her door;
And Vengeance now shall sleep no more;
Rise then, my friends, in terror rise,
And wipe this scandal from the skies!
You'll see their Dagon, tho' well jointed,
Will sink before the Lord's anointed,
And like old jeric [...] proud wall,
Before our ram's horns prostrate sall."
[Page 58]
This said, our 'Squire, yet undismay'd,
Call'd forth the Constable to aid,
And bade him read in nearer station,
The riot-act and proclamation;
Who now advancing tow'rd the ring,
Be [...], " Our sov'reign Lord the King"—
When thousand clam'rous tongues he hears,
And clubs and stones assail his [...]ars;
To sty was vain, to sight was idle,
By foes encompass'd in the middle;
In stratagem his aid he found,
And fell right craftily to ground;
Then crept to seek an hiding place,
'Twas all he could, beneath a brace;
Where soon the conq'ring crew espied him,
And where he lurk'd, they caught and tied him.
At once with resolution fatal,
Both Whigs and Tories rush'd to battle;
Instead of weapons, either band
Seiz'd on such arms, as came to hand.
And as fam'd * Ovid paints th' adventures
Of wrangling Lapithae and Centaurs,
Who at their feast, by Bacchus led,
Threw bottles at each other's head,
And these arm, failing in their scuffles,
Attack'd wi [...]h handirons, tongs and shovels;
So clubs and billets, staves and stones
Met fierce, encount'ring ev'ry sconce,
And cover'd o'er with [...] and pains
Each void receptacle for brains;
Their clamours rend the hills around,
And earth rebellows with the sound;
And many a groan increas'd the din
From broken nose and batter'd shin.
[Page 59] M'Fingal rising at the word,
Drew forth his old militia sword;
Thrice cried, "King George," as erst in distress
Romancing heroes did their mistress,
And brandishing the blade in air,
Struck terror thro' th' opposing war.
The Whigs, unsafe within the wind
Of such commotion shrunk behind.
With whirling steel around address'd,
Fierce thro' their thickest throng he press'd,
(Who roll'd on either [...] in arch,
Like Red-sea waves in Israel's march)
And like a meteor rushing through,
Struck on their pole a vengeful blow.
Around, the Whigs, of clubs and stones
Discharg'd who [...]e vollies in pla [...]on [...],
That o'er in whistling terror [...],
But not a foe dares venture ni [...].
And now perhaps with conquest crown'd,
Our 'Squire had fell'd their pole to ground;
Had not some Pow'r, a Whig at heart,
Descended down and too [...] their part;
(Whether 'twere Pallas, Mars or Iris,
'Tis scarce worth while to make enquiries)
Who at the nick of time alarming,
Assamed the graver form of Chairman;
Address'd a Whig, in ev'ry scene
The stoutest wrestler on the green,
And pointed where the spade was sound,
Late used to fix their pole in ground,
And urg'd with equal arms and might
To dare our 'Squire to single [...]ight. *
[Page 60] The Whig thus arm'd, untaught to yield,
Advanc'd tremendous to the field;
Nor did M'Fingal shun the foe,
But stood to brave the desp'rate blow;
While all the party gaz'd suspended,
To see the deadly combat ended.
And Jove in equal balance weigh'd
The sword against the brandish'd spade,
He weigh'd; but lighter than a dream,
The sword flew up and kick'd the beam.
Our 'Squire on tiptoe rising fair,
Lifts high a noble stroke in air,
Which hung not, but like dreadful engines
Descended on the foe in vengeance.
But ah, in danger with dishonor
The sword perfidious [...]ails its owner;
That sword, which oft had stood its ground
By huge trainbands encompass'd round,
Or on the bench, with blade right loyal,
Had won the day at many a trial,
Of stones and clubs had brav'd th' alarms,
Shrunk from these new Vulcanian arms.
The spade so temper'd from the sledge,
Nor [...] solid harm'd its edge,
Now met it from his arm of might
Descending with steep force to smite;
The [...] snapp'd short—and from his hand
With ru [...]t embrown'd the glitt'ring sand.
Swift turn'd M'Fingal at the view,
And [...] [...]or aid th' attendant crew,
In [...], the Tories all had run,
When [...] the fight was well begun;
Their [...]ing wigs he saw decreas'd,
Far in th' horizon tow'rd the west.
Amaz'd he view'd the shameful sight,
And saw no refuge but in flight:
[Page 61] But age unweildy check'd his pace,
Tho' fear had wing'd his flying race;
For not a trifling prize at stake;
No less than great M'Fingal's back.
With legs and arms he work'd his course,
Like rider that outgoes his horse,
And labour'd hard to get away, as
Old Satan * struggling on thro' chaos:
Till looking back he spied in rear
The spade-arm'd chief advanc'd too near.
Then stopp'd and seiz'd a stone that lay,
An antient land-mark near the way;
Nor shall we, as old Bards have done,
Assirm it weigh'd an hundred ton:
But such a stone as at [...] shift
A modern might [...] to lift,
Since men, to credit their enigmas,
Are dwindled down to dwarfs and pigmies,
And giants exiled with their cronies,
To Brobdingnags and Patagonias.
But while our hero turn'd him round,
And stoop'd to raise it from the ground,
The deadly spade discharg'd a blow
Tremendous on his rear below:
His bent knee fail'd, and void of strength,
Stretch'd on the ground his manly length;
Like antient oak o' [...]rturn'd he lay,
Or tow'rs to tempests fall'n a prey,
And more things else—but all men know 'e [...],
If slightly vers'd in Epic Poem.
At once the crew, at this sad crisis,
Fall on and bind him ere he rises,
And with loud shouts and joyful soul
Conduct him pris'ner to the pole.]
[Page 62] When now the Mob in lucky hour,
Had got their en'mies in their pow'r,
They first proceed by wise command
To take the constable in hand.
Then from the pol [...]'s sublimest top,
They speeded to let down the rope,
At once its other end in haste bind,
And make it fast upon his waist band,
Till like the earth, as stretch'd on tenter,
He hung self-balanc'd on his center.
Then upwards all hands hoisting sail,
They swung him, like a keg of ale,
Till to the pinnacle so fair,
He rose like meteor in the air.
As * Socrates of old at first did
To aid philosophy get hoisted,
And found his thoughts flow strangely clear,
Swung in a basket in mid air:
Our culprit thus in purer sky,
With like advantage rais'd his eye;
And looking forth in prospect wide
His Tory errors clearly spied,
And from his elevated station,
With bawling voice began addressing,
" Good gentlemen and friends and kin,
For heav'n's sake hear, if not for mine!
I here renounce the Pope, the Turks,
The King, the Devil and all their works;
And will, set me but once at ease,
Turn Whig or Christian, what you please;
And always mind your laws as justly;
Should I live long as old Methus' [...]ah,
I'll never join with British rage,
Nor help Lord North, or Gen'ral Gage,
[Page 63] Nor lift my gun in future fights,
Nor take away your charter'd rights,
Nor overcome your new-rais'd levies,
Destroy your towns, nor burn your navies,
Nor cut your poles down while I've breath,
Tho' rais'd more thick than hatchel-teeth:
But leave king George and all his elves
To do their conq'ring work themselves."
This said, they lower'd him down in state,
Spread at all points, like falling cat;
But took a vote first on the question,
That they'd accept this full confession,
And to their fellowship and favor,
Restore him on his good behaviour.
Not so, our Squire sul mits to rule,
But stood heroic as a mule.
" You'll find it all in vain, quoth he,
To play your rebel tricks on me.
All punishments the world can re [...]der,
Serve only to provoke th' offender;
The will's confirm'd by treatment horrid,
As hides grow harder when they're curried.
No man e'er felt the halter draw,
With good opinion of the law;
Or held in method orthodox
His love of justice in the stocks;
Or fail'd to lose by sheriff's shears
At once his loyalty and ears,
Have you made Murray look less big,
Or smoak'd old Williams to a Whig?
Did our mobb'd Oliver quit his station,
Or heed his vows of resignation?
Has Rivington, in dread of stripes,
Ceas'd lying since you stole his types?
And can you think my faith will after,
By tarring, whipping, or the halter?
[Page 64] I'll stand the worst; for re [...]mpence
I trust King George and Providence.
And when, our conquest gain'd, I come,
Arrav'd in law and terror home,
You'll rue this inauspicious morn,
And curse the day you e'er were born,
In Job's high style of imprecations,
With all his plagues, without his patience."
Meanwhile beside the pole, the guard
A Bench of Justice had prepar'd,
Where sitting round in awful sort,
The grand Committee hold their court;
While all the crew in silent awe,
Wait from their lips the lore of law.
Few moments with deliberation,
They hold the solemn consultation,
When soon in judgment [...], [...]gree
And Clerk declares the [...] decree;
" That 'Squire M'Fingal having grown
The vilest Tory in the town,
And now on full examination,
Convicted by his own confession,
Finding no tokens of repentance,
This Court proceed to render sentence:
That first the Mob a s [...]ip-knot single
Tie round the neck of said M'Fingal;
And in due form do tar him next,
And feather, as the law directs;
Then thro' the town attendant ride him,
In cart with Constable beside him,
And having held him up to shame,
Bring to the pole from whence [...]e came."
Forth with the croud proceed to d [...]k
With halter'd noose M'Fingal's neck,
While he, in peril of his soul,
Stood tied half hanging to the pole;
[Page 65] Then listing high the pond' rous jar,
Pour'd o'er his head the smoaking tar:
With less profusion erst was spread
The Jewish oil on royal head,
That down his beard and vestments ran,
And cover'd all his outward man.
As when (so * Claudian sings) the Gods
And earth-born giants fell at odds,
The stout Enceladus in malice
Tore mountains up to throw at Pallas;
And as he held them o'er his head,
The river from their fountains fed,
Pour'd down his back its copious tide,
And wore its channels in his hyde:
So from the high rais'd urn the torrents,
Spread down his side their various currents;
His flowing wig, as next the brim,
First met and drank the fable stream;
Adown h [...]s visage stern and grave,
Roll'd and adhered the viseid wave;
With arms depending as he stood,
Each cuff capacious holds the flood;
From nose and chin's remotest end,
The tarry [...] depend;
Till all o'erspread, with colors gay
He g'itter'd to the western ray,
Like fleet-bound trees in wintry skies,
Or [...]pland idol carv'd in ice.
And now the feather-bag display'd,
Is wav'd in triumph o'er his head,
And spreads hun o'er with feathers missive,
And down upon the tar adhesive:
Not Mi [...]'s son, with wings for ears,
Such plumes around his visage wears;
[Page 66] Nor Milton's six wing'd angel gathers,
Such superfluity of feathers.
Till all compleat appears our 'Squire
Like Gorgon or Chimera dire;
Nor more could boast on *Plato's plan
To rank amid the race of man,
Or prove his claim to human nature,
As a two-legg'd, unfeather'd creature,
Then on the two-wheel'd car of state,
They rais'd our grand Du [...]mvirate.
And as at Rome a like committee,
That found an owl within their city,
With solemn rites and sad processions,
At ev'ry shrine perform'd lustrations;
And least infection should abound,
From prodigy with face so round,
All Rome attends him thro' the street,
In triumph to his country-seat:
With like devotion all the choir
Paraded round our feather'd 'Squire;
In front the martial music comes
Of horns and fiddles, fises and drums,
With jingling sound of carriage bells,
And treble creak of rusted wheels;
Behind, the croud in lengthen'd row,
With grave procession closed the show;
And at fit periods ev'ry throat
Combined in universal shout,
And hail'd great liberty in chorus,
Or bawi'd, Confusion to the Tories.
Not louder storm the welkin braves,
From [...] of con [...]licting waves;
Less dire in Lybian wilds the noise
When rav'ning lions lift their voice;
[Page 67] Or triumphs at town-meetings made,
On passing votes to reg 'late trade.
Thus having borne them round the town,
Last at the pole they set them down,
And tow'rd the tavern take their way,
To end in mirth the festal day.
And now the Mob dispers'd and gone,
Left 'Squire and Constable alone.
The Constable in rueful case
Lean'd sad and solemn o'er a brace,
And fast beside him, cheek by jowl,
Stuck 'Squire M'Fingal 'gainst the pole,
Glued by the tar t' his rear applied,
Like barnacle on vessel's side.
But tho' his body lack'd physician,
His spirit, was in worse condition.
He found his fears of whips and ropes,
By many a drachm outweigh'd his hopes.
As men in goal without mainprize,
View ev'ry thing with other eyes,
And all goes wrong in church and state
Seen thro' perspective of the grate:
So now M'Fingal's second-sight
Beheld all things in diff'rent light;
His visual nerve, well purg'd with tar,
Saw all the coming scenes of war.
As his prophetic soul grew stronger,
He found be could hold in no longer;
First from the pole, as fierce he shook,
His wig from pitchy durance broke,
His mouth unglued, his feathers slutter'd,
His tarr'd skirts crack'd, and thus he utter'd,
" Ah, Mr. Constable, in vain
We strive 'gainst wind and tide and rain!
Behold my doom! this feather'd omen
[...]ertends what dismal times are coming.
[Page 68] Now future scenes before my eyes,
And second-sighted forms arise;
I hear a voice that calls away,
And cries, the Whigs will win the day;
My beck'ning Genius gives command,
And bids us fly the fatal land;
Where changing name and constitution,
Rebellion turns to revolution,
While Loyalty oppress'd in tears,
Stands trembling for its neck and ears.
Go, summon all our brethren greeting,
To muster at our usual meeting.
There my prophetic voice shall warn 'em,
Of all things future that concern 'em,
And scenes disclose on which, my friend,
Their conduct and their lives depend:
There I—but first 'tis more of use,
From this vile pole to set me loose;
There go with cautious steps and steady,
Whil [...] I steer home and make all ready,
END OF CANTO THIRD
[Page]

M 'FINGAL: CANTO FOURTH, OR THE VISION.

Now night came down, and rose full soon
That patroness of rogues, the Moon;
Beneath whose kind, protecting ray
Wolves, brute and human, prowl for prey.
The honest world all snored in chorus,
While owls, and ghosts and thieves and Tories,
Whom erst the mid-day sun had aw'd,
Crept from their lurking holes abroad.
On cautious hinges, slow and stiller
Wide oped the great M'Fingal's * cellar,
Where shut from prying eyes in cluster,
The Tory Pandemonium muster.
Their chiefs all sitting round descried are,
On kegs of [...] and seats of cyder;
When first M'Fingal dimly seen
Rose solemn from the turnep-bin.
Nor yet his † form had wholly lost
The original brightness it could boast,
[Page 70] Nor less appear'd than Justice Quorum,
In feather'd majesty before 'em.
Adown his tarstreak'd visage, clear
Fell glist'ning fast th' indignant tear,
And thus his voice, in mournful wise,
Pursued the prologue of his sighs.
" Brethren and friends, the glorious band
Of loyalty in rebel land!
It was not thus you've seen me sitting
Return'd in triumph from town-meeting,
When blustring Whigs were put to stand,
And votes obey'd my guiding hand,
And new commissions pleas'd my eyes;
Blest days, but ah, no more to rise!
Alas, against my better light
And optics sure of second-sight,
My stubborn soul in error strong,
Had saith in Hutchinson too long.
See what brave trophies still we bring
From all our battles for the king;
And yet these plagues now past before us,
Are but our entring wedge of sorrows.
I see in glooms tempestuous stand
The cloud impending o'er the land;
That cloud, which still beyond their hope [...]
Serves all our orators with tropes,
Which tho' from our own vapors fed,
Shall point its thunders on our head!
I see the Mob, bestipp'd in taverns,
[...] us, like wolves, thro' wilds and caverns!
What dungeons rise t' alarm our fears,
What horsewhips whistle round our ears!
Tar yet in embryo in the pine
Shall run, on Tories backs to shine;
Trees rooted fair in groves of fallows
Are growing for our future gallows;
[Page 71] And geese unhatch'd, when pluck'd in fray,
Shall rue the feath'ring of that day.
For me, before these fatal days
I mean to fly th'accursed place,
And follow omens, which of late
Have warn'd me of impending fate;
Yet pass'd unnoticed o'er my view,
Till sad conviction proved them true;
As prophecies of best intent,
Are only heeded in th' event.
For late in visions of the night
The gallows stood before my sight;
I saw its ladder heav'd on end;
I saw the deadly rope descend;
And in its noose that wav'ring swang,
Friend * Malcolm hung, or seem'd to hang.
How changed from him, who bold as lyon,
Stood Aid-de-Camp to Governor Tryon,
Made rebels vanish once, like witches,
And saved his life, but dropp'd his breeches.
I searce had made a fearful bow,
And trembling ask'd him, " How d'ye do."
When lifting up his eyes so wide,
His eyes alone, his hands were tied;
With feeble voice, as spirits use,
Now almost choak'd with gripe of noose;
[Page 72] " Ah † fly, my friend, he cried, escape,
And keep yourself from this sad scrape;
Enough you've talk'd and writ and plann'd;
The Whigs have got the upper hand.
Dame Fortune's wheel has turn'd so short,
It plung'd us fairly in the dirt;
Could mortal arm our fears have ended,
This arm (and shook it) had defended.
But longer now 'tis vain to stay;
See [...] the Reg'lars run away:
Wait not till things grow desperater,
For hanging is no laughing matter:
Thus might your grandsires' fortunes tell you or,
Who both were hang'd the last rebellion;
Adventure then no [...] stay,
But call your friends and run away.
For lo, thro' deepest glooms of night
I come to aid thy second-sight,
Disclose the plagues that round us wait
And wake the dark decrees of fate.
Aseend this ladder whence unsur [...]'d
The curtain opes of [...]'other world,
For here new worlds their scenes unfold,
Seen from this backdoor of the old.
As when AEneas risqued bis life,
Like Orpheus vent' [...]ing for his wife,
And bo [...]e in show his mortal [...]arcase,
Thro' realms of Er [...]us and Or [...]s,
Then in the happy fields E [...]ys [...]am,
Staw all this embryon sons in [...];
As shown by great archangel, Michael,
Old Adam saw the world's whole sequel,
[Page 73] And from the mount's extended space,
The rising fortunes of his race;
So from this stage shalt thou behold,
The war its coming scenes unfold,
Rais'd by my arm to meet thine eye;
My Adam, thou, thine Angel, I.
But first my pow'r for visions * bright,
Must eleanse from clouds thy mental sight,
Remove the dim suffusions spread,
Which bribes and fa [...]'ries there have bred;
And from the well of Bute infuse,
Three genuine drops of Highland dews,
To purge, like euphrasy and rue,
Thine eyes, for much thou hast to view.
Now sreed from Tory darkness raise
Thy head and spy the coming days;
For lo before our second-sight,
The Continent ascends in light;
From north to south what gath'ring swarms,
Increase the pride of rebel arms!
Thro' ev'ry State our legions brave,
Speed gallant marches to the grave,
Of battling Whigs the frequent prize,
While rebel trophies stain the skies.
Behold o'er northern realms afar,
Extend the kindling slames of war!
See fam'd St. John's and Montreal,
Doom'd by Montgomt'ry's arm to sall
Where Hudson with majestic sway,
Thro' hills disparted plows his way;
Fate spreads on B [...]mus' Heights alarms,
And pours desturction on our arms;
There Bennington's ensanguin'd plain,
And Stony-Point, the prize of Wayne.
[Page 74] Behold near Del'ware's icy roar,
Where morning dawns on Tre [...]on's shore,
While Hessians spread their Christmas [...],
Rush rude these uninvited guests;
Nor aught avail, to Whigs a prize,
Their martial whiskers grisly size.
On [...] plains our heroes yield,
And spread in slight the vanquish'd field,
While fear to Mawhood's heels puts on
Wings, wide as worn by Maia's son.
Behold the Pennsylvanian shore,
Enrich'd with streams of British gore;
Where many a [...]et'ran chief in bed
Of honor rests his slumbring head,
And in soft vales in land of foes,
Their wearied virtue fines repose.
See plund'ring Dunmore's negro band
Fly headlong from Virginia's stran [...];
And far on southern hills our cousins,
The Scotch M'Donalds fall by dozens;
Or where King's Mountain lifts its head,
Our ruin'd bands in triumph led!
Behold o'er Tarlton's blustring train,
The Rebels stretch the captive chain!
Afar near Eutaw's fatal springs
Descending Vict'ry spreads her wings!
Thro' all the land in various chace,
We hunt the rainbow of success;
In vain! their Chief superior still
Eludes our force with Fabian skill,
Or swif [...] descending by surprize,
Like Prussia's eagle sweeps the prize."
I look'd, nor yet, opprest with fears,
Gave credit to my eyes or ears,
But held the views an empty dream,
On Berkly's immaterial scheme;
[Page 75] And pondring sad with troubled breast
At length my rising doubts express'd.
" Ah whither, thus by rebels smitten,
Is fled th' omnipotence of Britain,
Or fail'd its usual guard to keep,
Gone traunting or fall'n asleep;
As Baal his prophets left confounded,
And bawling vot'ries gash'd and wounded?
Did not, retir'd to bow'rs Elysian,
Great Mars leave with her his commission,
And Neptune erst in treaty free,
Give up dominion o'er the sea?
Else where's the faith of samed orations,
Address, debate and proclamations,
Or courtly [...]ert [...]on, laurea [...] ode,
And ballads on the watry God;
With whose high [...] great George enriches
His eloquence of gracious speeches?
Not faithful to our [...] eyes,
These deadly forms of vision [...];
But sure some Whig-inspiring sprite
Now palms delusion on our sight.
I'd scarcely trust a tale so [...],
Should revelation prompt the strain,
Or O [...]tian's ghost the scenes rehearse,
In all the melody of * Ease."
" Too long, quoth M [...]olm, with confusion
You've dwelt already in [...],
As Scep [...]i [...]s, of all fools the chief,
Hold faith in creeds of unbelief.
I come to draw thy veil aside
Of error, prejudice and pride.
Fools love deception, but the wise
Prefer sad truths to pleasing lies.
For know those hopes can ne'er succeed
That trust on Britain's breaking reed.
[Page 76] For weak'ning long from bad to worse
By fatal atrophy of purse,
She feels at length with trembling heart,
Her foes have found her mortal part.
As famed Achilles, dipt by Thetis
In Styx, as sung in antient ditties,
Grew all caseharden'd o'er like steel,
Invulnerable, save his heel,
And laugh'd at swords and spears, as squibs,
And all diseases, but the kibes;
Yet met at last his fatal wound,
By Paris' arrow nail'd to ground:
So Britain's boasted strength deserts,
In these her empire's utmost skirts,
Remov'd beyond her fierce impressions,
And atmosphere of omnipresence;
Nor to these shores remoter ends,
Her dwarf omnipotence extends:
Whence in this turn of things so strange,
'Tis time our principles to change.
For vain that boasted faith, which gathers
No perquisite, but tar and feathers,
No pay, but Whig's insulting malice,
And no promotion, but the gallows.
I've long enough stood firm and steady,
Half hang'd for loyalty already:
And could I save my neck and pelf
I'd turn a flaming Whig myself,
And quit this cause and course and calling,
Like rats that fly from house [...] falling.
But since, obnoxious here to f [...]e,
This saving wisdom comes too late,
Our noblest hopes already cr [...]t,
Our sal' [...]ies gone, our titles lost,
Doom'd to worse suff'rings from the mob,
Than Satan's furg'ri [...]s used on Job;
[Page 77] What more remains but now with sleight,
What's left of us to save by slight?
Now raise thine eyes for visions true
Again ascending wait thy view."
I look'd and clad in early light,
The spires of Boston rose to sight;
The more o'er eastern hills afar,
Illum'd [...]e varying scenes of war.
Great Howe had long since in the lap
Of Loring taken out his nap,
And with the sun's ascending ray,
The cuckold came to take his pay.
When all th' encircling hills around,
With instantaneous breastworks crown'd,
With pointed thunders m [...]t his sight,
By magic rear'd the former night.
Each summit, sar as eye commands,
Shone peopled with rebellious bands.
Aloft their tow'ring heroes rise,
As Titans erst assail'd the skies,
Leagued with superior force to prove,
The scepter'd hand of British Jove,
Mounds piled on hills ascended fair
With bat [...]'ries placed in middle air,
That rais'd like angry clouds on high
Seem'd like th' artill'ry of the sky,
And hurl'd their fiery bolts amain,
In thunder on the trembling plain.
I saw along the prostrate strand,
Our baffled Gen'rals quit the land,
And swift as frighted mermaids flee,
T' our boasted element, the sea!
Resign that long contested shore,
Again the prize of rebel-power,
And tow'rd their town of refuge fly,
Like convict Jews condemn'd to die.
[Page 78]
Then tow'rd the north, I turn'd my eyes,
Where Saratoga's heights arise,
And saw our chosen vet'ran band,
Descend in terror o'er the land;
T' oppose this fury of alarms,
Saw all New-England wake to arms,
And ev'ry Yanky full of mettle,
Swarm forth, like bees at sound of kettle.
Not Rome, when Tarquin raped [...]ucretia,
Saw wilder mustring of militia.
Thro' all the woods and plains of fight,
What mortal battles fill'd my sight,
While British corses strew'd the shore,
And Hudson ting'd his streams with gore!
What tongue can tell the dismal day,
Or paint the party-color'd fray;
When yeomen left their fields afar,
To plow the crimson plains of war;
When zeal to swords transformed their shares,
And turn'd their pruning-hooks to spears,
Chang'd tailor's geese to guns and ball,
And stretch'd to pikes the cobler's awl;
While hunters fierce like mighty Nimrod,
Made on our troops a daring inroad;
And levelling squint on barrel round,
Brought our beau-officers to ground;
While rifle-frocks sent Gen'rals cap'ring,
And redcoats shrunk from leathern apron,
And [...] and gorget run
From whinyard brown and rus [...]y gun:
While sunburnt wigs in high command,
Rush furious on our frighted band,
And antient beards and hoary hair,
Like meteors stream in troubled air.
With looks unshorn not Samson more
Made useless all the show of war,
[Page 79] Nor sought with ass;es jaw for rarity,
With more success or singularity.
I saw our vet'ran thousands yield
And pile their muskets on the field,
And peasant guards in rueful plight
March off our captured bands from sight;
While ev'ry rebel-sife in play,
To Yanky-doodle tun'd its lay,
And like the music of the spheres,
Mellisluous sooth'd their vanquish'd ea [...]
" Alas, said I, what baleful star,
Sheds fatal influence on the war,
And who that chosen Chief of fame,
That heads this grand parade of shame?"
" There see how fate, great Malcolm cried,
Strikes with its bolts the tow'rs of pride.
Behold that martial Macaroni,
Compound of Phoebus and Bellona,
With warlike sword and singsong lay,
Equipp'd alike for seast or fray,
Where equal wit and valour join;
This, this is he, the famed Burgoyne:
Who pawn'd his honor and commission,
To coax the Patriots to submission,
By songs and b [...]lls secure obedience,
And [...] the ladies to allegiance.
Oft his camp muses he'll parade,
At Boston in the grand blockade,
And well invoked with punch of arrack,
Hold converse sweet in tent or barrack,
Inspired in more heroic fashion,
Both by his theme and situation;
While farce and proclamation grand,
Rise fair beneath his plastic hand.
For genius swells more strong and clear
When close confin'd, like bottled beer:
[Page 80] So Prior's wit gain'd greater pow'r,
By inspiration of the tow'r;
And Raleigh fast in prison hurl'd
Wrote all the hist'ry of the world:
So Wilkes grew, while in goal he lay,
More patriotic ev'ry day,
But sound his zeal, when not confin'd,
Soon sink below the freezing point,
And public spirit once so fair,
Evaporate in open air.
But thou, great favorite of Venus,
By no such luck shalt cramp thy genius;
Thy friendly stars till wars shall cease,
Shall ward th' illfortune of release,
And hold there fa [...]t in bonds not feeble,
In good condition still to scribble.
Such merit [...] shield from siring,
Bomb, carcase, [...] and cold iron,
Nor trusts thy doubly [...]rell'd head,
To rude assaults of flying lead.
Hence in this Sarat [...]gue retreat,
For pure good fortune thou'lt be beat;
Not taken oft, [...] or rescued,
Pass for small change, [...] simple Prescott;
But captured there, as fates befall,
Shalt stand thy hand sor't, once for all.
Then raise thy daring thoughts sublime,
And dip thy conq'ring pen in rhyme,
And changing war for [...] and jokes,
Write new Blockades and Maids of Oaks *."
This said, he turn'd, and saw the tale,
Had dyed my trembling cheeks with pale;
[Page 81] Then pitying in a milder vein
Pursued the visionary strain.
" Too much perhaps hath pain'd your view▪
Of vict'ries gain'd by rebel crews;
Now see the deeds not small or scanty,
Of British Valor and Humanity;
And learn from this auspicious sight,
How England's sons and friends can fight,
In what dread scenes their courage grows,
And how they conquer all their foes."
I look'd and saw in wintry skies
Our spacious prison-walls arise,
Where Britons all their captives taming,
Plied them with scourging, cold and famine;
Reduced to life's concluding stages,
By noxious food and plagues contagious.
Aloft the mighty Loring s [...]ood,
And thrived, like * Vampyre, on their blood,
And counting all his gains arising,
Dealt daily rations out of poison.
Amid the dead that croud the scene,
The moving skeleton [...] were seen.
At hand our troops in vaunting strains,
Insulted all their wants and pains,
And turn'd on all the dying tribe,
The b [...]ter taunt and scornful gibe:
And British officers of might,
Triumphant at the joyful sight,
O'er foes disarm'd with courage daring,
Exhausted all their tropes of swearing.
Around all stain'd with rebel blood,
Like Milton's lazar house it stood,
[Page 82] Where grim Despair attended nuri [...],
And Death was Gov'rnor of the house,
Amaz'd I cried, " Is this the way,
That British Valour wins the day?"
More had I said, in strains unwelcome,
Till interrupted thus by Malcolm:
" Blame not, quoth he, but learn the reason
Of this new mode of conq'ring treason.
'Tis but a wise, politic plan,
To root out all the rebel-clan;
(For surely treason ne'er can thrive,
Where not a soul is left alive:)
A scheme, all other chiefs to surpass,
And to do th' effectual work to purpose,
For war itself is nothing further,
But th' art and mystery of murther,
And who most methods has essay'd,
Is the best Gen'ral of the trade,
And stands Death's Plenipotentiary,
To conquer, poison, sta [...]e and bury.
This Howe well knew, and thus began,
(Despising, Cariton's coaxing plan,
Who kept his pris'ners well and merry,
And dealt them food like Commissary,
And by paroles and ransoms vain,
Dismiss'd them all to fight again:)
Whence his first captives with great spirit,
He tied up for his troops to [...]ire * at,
And hoped they'd learn on foes thus taken,
To aim at rebels without shaking.
Then wise in stratagem he plann'd
The sure destruction of the land,
[Page 83] Turn'd famine, sickness and despair,
To useful enginry of war,
Instead of cannon, musket, mortar,
Used pestilence and death and torture,
Sent forth the small pox and the greater,
To thin the [...]and of ev'ry traitor,
And order'd out with like endeavour,
De [...]achments of the prison-fever;
Spread desolation o'er their head,
And plagues in Providence's stead,
Perform'd with equal skill and beauty,
Th' avenging angel's tour of duty,
Brought all the elements to join,
And stars t' assist the great design,
As once in league with Kishon's brook,
Famed Israel's foes they fought and took.
Then proud to raise a glorious name,
And em'lous of his country's fame,
He bade these prison-walls arise,
Like temple tow'ring to the skies,
Where British Clemency renown'd,
Might fix her seat on sacred ground;
(That Virtue, as each herald saith,
Of whole blood [...]in to Punic Faith)
Where all her Godlike pow'rs unveiling,
She finds a grateful shrine to dwell in.
Then at this altar for her honor,
Chose this Highpriest to wait upon her,
Who with just rites, in antient guises,
Presents these human sacrifices;
Great L [...]ing, famed above laymen,
A proper Priest for Lybian Ammon,
Wh [...], while Howe's gift his brows adorns,
Had march'd that deity in horns.
Here [...] day her vot'ries tell
She more devours than th' idol Bel;
[Page 84] And thirsts more rav'nously for gore,
Than any worshipp'd Pow'r before.
That antient Heathen Godhead, Moloch,
Oft stay'd his stomach with a bullock,
Or if his morning rage you'd check first,
One child sufficed him for a breakfast.
But British Clemency with zeal
Devours her hundreds at a meal,
Right well by Nat'ralists defined,
A Being of carniv'rous kind.
So erst * Gargantua pleas'd his palate,
And eat his pilgrims up for sallad.
Not blest with maw less ceremonious,
The wide-mouth'd whale that swallow'd Jonas,
Like earthquake gapes, to death de [...]ote,
That open sepulchre, her throat;
The grave, or barren womb you'd stuff,
And sooner being to cry, enough;
Or fatten up to fair condition,
The leanflesh'd kine of Pharaoh's vision.
Behold her temple where it stands
Erect by famed Britannic hands;
'Tis the blackhole of Indian structure,
New-built with English architecture,
On plan, 'tis said, contrived and wrote,
By Clive, before he cut his throat;
Who ere he took himself in hand,
Was her Highpriest in Nabob-land:
And when with conq'ring glory crown'd,
He' [...] well enslav'd the nation round,
With pitying heart the gen'rous chief,
(Since slav'ry's worse than loss of life)
Bade desolation circle far,
And famine end the work of war;
[Page 85] Thus loosed their chains and for their merits,
Dismiss'd them free to worlds of spirits:
Whence they with gratitude and praise,
Return'd * to attend his latter days,
And hov'ring round his restless bed,
Spread nightly visions o'er his head.
" Now turn, he cried, to nobler sights,
And mark the prowess of our fights:
Behold like whelps of British Lyon,
The warriors, Clinton, Vaughan and Tryon,
March forth with patriotic joy,
To ravish, plunder, burn, destroy.
Great Gen'rals foremost in the nation,
The journeymen of Desolation!
Like Samson's foxes each assails,
Let loose with firebrands in their tails,
And spreads destruction more forlorn,
Than they did in Philistine corn.
And see in flames their triumphs rise,
I [...]un [...]ing all the nether skies,
And streaming, like a new Aurora,
The western hemisphere with glory!
What towns in ashes laid confess
These heroes' prowess and success!
What blacken'd walls, or burning fane,
For trophies spread the ruin'd plain!
What females caught in evil hour,
By force submit to British power,
Or plunder'd Negroes in disaster
Confess king George their lord and master!
What crimson corses strew their way
Till smoaking carnage dims the day!
[Page 86] Along the shore for sure reduction
They wield their bosom of destruction.
Great Homer likens, in his Ilias,
To dogstar bright the fierce Achilles;
But ne'er beheld in red procession,
Three dogstars rise in constellation;
Or saw in glooms of ev'ning misty,
Such signs of fiery triplicity,
Which far beyond the comet's tail,
Portend destruction where they sail.
Oh had Great-Britain's godlike shore,
Produced but ten such heroes more,
They'd spared the pains and held the station,
Of this world's final conflagration,
Which when its time comes, at a stand,
Would find its work all done t' its hand!
Yet tho' gay hopes our eyes may bless;
Indignant fate forbids success;
Like morning dreams our conquest flies,
Dispers'd before the dawn arise."
Here Malcolm paus'd; when pond'ring long,
Grief thus gave utt'rance to my tongue.
" Where shrink in fear our friends dismay'd,
And all the Tories' promis'd aid,
Can none amid these fierce alarms
Assist the pow'r of royal arms?"
" In vain, he cried, our king depends,
On promis'd aid of Tory-friends.
When our own efforts want success,
Friends ever fail as fears increase.
As leaves in blooming verdure wove,
In warmth of summer cloath the grove,
But when autumnal frosts arise,
Leave bare their trunks to wintry skies;
So while your pow'r can aid their ends,
You ne'er can need ten thousand friends,
[Page 87] But once in want by foes dismay'd,
May advertise them stol'n or stray'd▪
Thus ere Great-Britain's strength grew slack,
She gain'd that aid, she did not lack,
But now in dread, imploring pity,
All hear unmov'd her dol'rous ditty;
Allegiance wand'ring turns astray,
And Faith grows dim for lack of pay.
In vain she tries by new inventions,
Fear, falshood, flatt'ry, threats and pensions,
Or sends Commiss'ners with credentials
Of promises and penitentials.
As for his fare o'er Styx of old,
The Trojan stole the bough of gold,
And least grim Cerberus should make head,
Stuff'd both his fobs with * gingerbread;
Behold at Britain's utmost shifts,
Comes Johnstone loaded with like gifts,
To venture thro' the Whiggish tribe,
To cuddle, wheedle, coax and bribe,
Enter their lands and on his journey,
Possession take, as King's Attorney,
Buy all the vassals to protect him,
And bribe the tenants not t' eject him;
And call to aid his desp'rate mission,
His petticoated politician,
While Venus join'd t' assist the farce,
Strolls forth Embassador for Mars.
In vain he strives, for while he lingers,
These mastiffs bite his off'ring fingers;
Nor buys for George and realms infernal,
One spaniel, but the mongrel Arnold.
[Page 88] " Twere vain to paint in vision'd show,
The mighty nothings done by Howe;
What towns he takes in mortal fray,
As stations, whence to run away;
What conquests gain'd in battles warm,
To us no aid, to them no harm;
For still the event alike is fatal,
What'er success attend the battle,
If he gain victory, or lose it,
Who ne'er had skill enough to use it;
And better 'twere at their expence,
T' have drubb'd him into common sense,
And wak'd by bastings on his rear,
Th' activity, tho' but of fear.
By slow advance his arms prevail,
Like emblematic march of snail;
That be Millennium nigh or far,
'Twould long before him end the war.
From York to Philadelphian ground,
He sweeps the mighty flourish round,
Wheel'd circ'lar by excentric stars,
Like racing boys at prison-bars,
Who take the adverse crew in whole,
By running round the opp'site goal;
Works wide the traverse of his course,
Like ship in storms' opposing force,
Like millhorse circling in his race,
Advances not a single pace,
And leaves no trophies of reduction,
Save that of cankerworms, destruction.
Thus having long both countries curst,
He quits them, as he found them first,
Steers home disgraced, of little worth,
To join Burgoyne and [...]ail at North.
Now raise thine eyes, and view with pleasure,
The triumphs of his famed successor."
[Page 89] I look'd, and now by magic lore,
Faint rose to view the Jersey shore;
But dimly seen, in glooms array'd,
For Night had pour'd her sable shade,
And ev'ry star, with glimm'rings pale,
Was muffled deep in ev'ning veil:
Scarce visible in dusky night,
Advancing redcoats rose to sight;
The lengthen'd train in gleaming rows
Stole silent from their slumb'ring foes,
Slow moved the baggage and the train,
Like snail crept noiseless o'er the plain;
No trembling soldier dared to speak,
And not a wheel presum'd to creak.
My looks my new surprize confess'd,
Till by great Malcolm thus address'd:"
" Spend not thy wits in vain researches;
'Tis one of Clinton's moonlight marches.
From Philadelphia now retreating,
To save his anxious troops a beating,
With hasty stride he flies in vain,
His rear attack'd on Monmo [...]h plain:
With various chance the mortal fray
Is lea [...]then'd to the close of day,
When his tired bands o'ermatch'd in fight,
Are rescued by descending night;
He forms his camp with vain parade,
Till ev'ning spreads the world with shade,
Then still, like some endanger'd spark,
Steals off on tipt [...] in the dark;
Yet writes his king in boasting tone,
How grand he march'd by light of moon.
I see him; but thou canst not; proud
He leads in front the trembling croud,
And wisely knows, if danger's near,
'Twill fall the heaviest on his rear.
[Page 90] Go on, great Gen'ral, nor regard
The scoffs of ev'ry scribling Bard,
Who sing how Gods that fatal night
Aided by miracles your slight,
As once they used, in Homer's day,
To help weak heroes run away;
Tell how the hours at awful trial,
Went back, as erst on A [...]az' dial,
While British Joshua stay'd the moon,
On Monmouth plains for Ajalon:
Heed not their sncers and gibes so arch,
Because she set before your march.
A small mistake, your meaning right,
You take her influence for her light;
Her influence, which shall be your guide,
And o'er your Gen'ralship preside.
Hence still shall teem your empty skull,
With vict'ries when the moon's at full,
Which by transition yet more strange,
Wane to defeats before the change;
Hence all your movements, all your notions
Shall steer by like excentri [...] motions,
Eclips'd in many a fatal crists,
And dimm'd when Washington arises.
And see how Fate, herself turn'd traitor,
Inverts the antient course of nature,
And changes manners, tempers, climes,
To suit the genius of the times.
See Bourbon forms his gen'rous plan,
First guardian of the rights of man,
And prompt in firm alliance joins,
To aid the Rebels proud designs.
Behold from realms of eastern day,
His sails innum'rous shape their way,
In warlike line the billows sweep,
And roll the thunders of the deep.
[Page 91] See low in equinoctial skies,
The Western Islands fall their prize.
See British flags o'ermatch'd in might,
Put all their faith in instant flight,
Or broken squadrons from th' affray,
Drag slow their wounded hulks away.
Behold his chiefs in daring setts,
D'Estaings, De Grasses and Fayettes,
Spread thro' our camps their dread alarms,
And swell the sears of rebel-arms.
Yet ere our empire sink in night,
One gleam of hope shall strike the sight;
As lamps that fail of oil and fire,
Collect one glimm [...]g to expire.
And lo where southern shores extend,
Behold our union' [...] hosts descend,
Where Charlestown views with varying beams,
Her turrets gild th' encircling streams.
There by superior might compell'd,
Behold their gallant Lincoln yield,
Nor aught the wreaths avail him now,
Pluck'd from Burgoyne's imperious brow.
See furious from the vanquish'd strand,
Cornwallis leads his mighty band!
The southern realms and Georgian shore
Submit and own the victor's pow'r.
Lo sunk before his wasting way,
The Carolinas fall his prey!
In vain embattled hosts of [...]oes
Essay in warring strife t' oppose.
See shrinking from his conq'ring eye,
The rebel legions fall or fly;
And with'ring in these torrid skies,
The northern laurel fades and dies.
With rapid force he leads his band
To fair Virginia's fated strand,
[Page 92] Triumphant eyes the travell'd zone,
And boasts the southern realms his own.
Nor yet this hero's glories bright
Blaze only in [...] fields of fight,
Not Howe's humanity more deserving,
In gifts of hanging and of starving;
Not Arnold plunders more tobacco,
Or steals more Negroes for Jamaica;
Scarce Rodney's self among th' Eustatians,
Insults so well the laws of nations;
Ev'n Tryon's fame grows dim, and mourning,
He yields the laurel crown of burning.
I see with rapture and surprize,
New triumphs sparkling in thine eyes.
But view where now renew'd in might,
Again the rebels dare the fight."
I look'd and far in southern skies,
Saw Greene, their second hope, arise,
And with his small but gallant band,
Invade the Carolinian land.
As winds in stormy circles whirl'd
Rush [...]lowing o'er the darken'd world,
And where their wasting fury roves,
Successive sweep th' astonish'd groves.
Thus where he pours the rapid fight,
Our boasted conquests sink in night,
And wide o'er all th' extended field,
Our sorts resign, our armies yield,
Till now regain'd the vanquish'd land,
He lifts his standard on the strand.
Again to fair Virginia's coast,
I turn'd and view'd the British host,
Where Chesapeak's wide waters lave
Her shores and join th' Atlantic wave.
There fam'd Cornwallis tow'ring rose,
And scorn'd secure his distant soes;
[Page 93] His bands the haughty rampart raise,
And bid th' imperial standard blaze.
When lo, where ocean's bounds extend,
I saw the Gallic sails ascend,
With fav'ring breezes stem their way,
And croud with ships the spacious bay.
Lo Washington from northern shores,
O'er many a region, wheels his force,
And Rochambeau, with legions bright,
Descends in terrors to the fight.
Not swifter cleaves his rapid way,
The eagle cow'ring o'er his prey,
Or knights in fain'd romance that fly
On fairy pinions thro' the sky.
Amaz'd the Briton's startled pride,
Sees ruin wake on ev'ry side;
And all his troops to fate consign'd,
By instantaneous stroke Burgoyn'd.
Not Cadmus view'd with more surprize,
From earth embattled armies rise,
When by superior pow'r impell'd,
He sow'd with dragon's teeth the field.
Here Gallic troops in terror [...]and,
There rush in arms the Rebel band;
Nor hope remains from mortal fight,
Or that last British refuge, flight.
I saw with looks downcast and grave,
The Chief emerging from his * cave,
(Where chaced like hare in mighty round,
His hunters earth'd him first in ground)
And doom'd by [...]ate to rebel sway,
Yield all his captur'd hosts a prey.
[Page 94]
There while I view'd the vanquish'd town,
Thus with a sigh my friend went on:
" Beholdst thou not that band forlorn,
Like slaves in Roman triumphs borne;
Their faces length'ning with their fears,
And cheeks distain'd with streams of tears,
Like dramatis personoe sage,
Equipt to act on Tyburn's stage.
Lo these are they, who lur'd by follies,
Left all and follow'd great Cornwallis;
True to their King, with firm devotion,
For conscience sake and hop'd promotion,
Expectant of the promis'd glories,
And new Millennial state of Tories.
Alas, in vain, all doubts forgetting,
They tried th' omnipotence of Britain;
But found her arm, once strong and brave,
So shorten'd now she cannot save.
Not more aghast departed souls,
Who risk'd their fate on Popish bulls,
And find St. Peter at the wicket
Refuse to countersign their ticket,
When driv'n to purgatory back,
With all their pardons in their pack:
Than Tories must'ring at their stations
On faith of royal proclamations.
As Pagan Chiefs at ev'ry crisis,
Confirm'd their leagues by sacrifices,
And herds of beasts to all their deities,
Oblations fell at close of treaties:
Cornwallis thus in antient fashion,
Concludes his league of cap'tulation,
And victims due to Rebel-glories,
Gives this sin-off'ring up of Tories.
See where reliev'd from sad embargo,
Steer off consign'd a recreant cargo,
[Page 95] Like old scapegoats to roam in pain,
Mark'd like their great forerunner, Cain▪
The rest, now doom'd by British leagues,
To justice of resentful Whigs,
Hold worthless lives on [...] ill,
Of tenancy at Rebel-will,
While hov'ring o'er their forfeit persons,
The gallows waits his sure reversions.
Thou too, M'Fingal, ere that day,
Shalt taste the terror [...] th' affray.
See o'er thee hangs in angry skies,
Where Whiggish constellations rise,
And while plebeian signs ascend,
Their mob-inspiring aspects bend;
That baleful Star, whose * horrid hair
Shakes forth the plagues of down and tar▪
I see the pole, that rears on high
Its flag terrific thro' the sky;
The Mob beneath prepar'd t' attack,
And tar predestin'd for thy back!
Ah qui [...], my friend, this dang'rous home,
Nor wait the darker sceres to come;
For know that Fate's auspicious door,
Once shut to flight is oped no more,
Nor wears its hinge by various stations,
Like Mercy's door in proclamations.
But lest thou pause, or doubt to fly,
To stranger visions turn shine eye:
Each cloud that [...] thy mental ray,
And all the mortal mists decay;
See more than human Pow'rs befriend,
And lo their hostile forms ascend!
[Page 96] See tow'ring o'er th' extended strand,
The Genius of the western land,
In vengeance arm'd, his sword assumes,
And stands, like Tories, drest in plumes,
See o'er you Council seat with pride,
How Freedom spreads her banners wide!
There Patriotism with torch address'd,
To fire with zeal each daring breast!
While all the Virtues in their band,
Escape from you unfriendly land,
Desert their antient British station,
Possest with rage of emigration.
Honor, his business at a stand,
For scar of starving quits their land;
And Justice, long disgraced at Court, had
By Mansfield's sentence been transported.
Vict'ry and Fame attend their way,
Tho' Britain wish their longer stay,
Care not what George or North would be at,
Nor heed their writs of [...];
But fired with love of colonizing,
Quit the fall'n empire for the rising."
I look'd and saw with horror smitten,
These hostile pow'rs averse to Britain.
When lo, an awful spectre rose,
With languid paleness on his brows;
Wan dropsies swell'd his sorm beneath,
And iced his bloated cheeks with death:
His tatter'd robes exposed him bare,
To ev'ry blast of ruder air;
On two weak crutches propt he stood,
That bo [...] at ev'ry step he trod,
Gilt titles graced their sides so slender,
One, " Regulation," t'other, " Tender;"
His breast plate grav'd with various dates,
" The faith of all th' United States:"
[Page 97] Before him went his fun'ral [...],
His grave stood dug to wait his fall,
I started, and a hast I cried,
" What means this spectre at their side▪
What danger from a [...] so [...],
And why he joins that splendid train?"
" Alas, great Malcolm cried, experience
Might [...]each you not to trust appearance
Here stands, as drest by fierce B [...]llona,
The ghost of Continental Money,
Of dame Necessity descended,
With whom Cre [...]lity engender'd.
Tho' born with constitution f [...]il,
And feeble strength that seen must [...]
Yet strangely vers'd in magic lore,
And gifted with transforming pow'r.
His skill the wealth Peruvian joins
With diamonds of Brazilian mine [...].
As erst Jove sell by subtle wiles,
On Danae's apron thro' the tiles,
In show'rs of gold; his potent hand
Shall shed like show' [...]s thro' all the lard.
Less great the magic art was [...],
Of tallies cast by Charles these second,
Or Law's famed Mississipi [...],
Or all the wealth of South sea dreams,
For he of all the world alone
Owns the longsought Philos'pher's s [...]one,
Restores the sab'lous times to view,
And proves the tale of [...].
O'er heaps of rage, he wave [...],
All turn to gold at his [...],
Provide for present wants and future,
Raise armies, victual, clothe, [...],
Adjourn our conquests by [...],
Cheek Howe's [...],
Then makes all days of [...] vain,
And [...] all back to [...] again.
[Page 98] In vain great Howe shall play his part,
To ape and counterfeit his art;
In vain shall Clinton, more belated,
A conj'rer turn to imitate it;
With like ill luck and pow'r as narrow,
They'll fare, like sor'cers of old Pharaoh,
Who tho' the art they understood
Of turning rivers into blood,
And caus'd their frogs and snakest' exist,
That with some merit croak'd and hiss'd,
Yet ne'er by ev'ry quaint device,
Could frame the true Mosaic lice.
He for the Whigs his arts shall try,
Their first, and long their sole ally;
A patriot firm, while breath he draws,
He'll perish in his country's cause;
And when his magic labours cease,
Lie buried in eternal peace.
Now view the scenes in future hours,
That wait the famed European Pow'rs.
See where you chalky cliffs arise,
The hills of Britain strike your eyes:
Its small extension long supplied,
By vast immensity of pride;
So small, that had it found a station
In this new world at first creation,
Or were by Justice doom'd to suffer,
And [...]r its crimes transported over,
We'd find full room for't in lake Eri, or
That larger waterpond, Superior,
Where North on margin taking stand,
Would not be able to spy land.
No more, elate with pow'r, at ease
She deals her insults round the seas;
See dwindling from her height amain,
What piles of ruin spread the plain;
With mould'ring hulks her ports are fill'd,
And brambles clothe the cultur'd field!
[Page 99] See on her cliffs her Genius lies,
His handkerchief at both his eyes,
With many a deepdrawn sigh and groan,
To mourn her ruin and his own!
While joyous Holland, France and Spain,
With conq'ring navies rule the main,
And Russian banners wide unfurl'd,
Spread commerce round the eastern world.
And see (sight hateful and tormenting)
Th' Amer'can empire proud and vaunting,
From anarchy shall change her crafis,
And fix her pow'r on firmer basis;
To glory, wealth and same ascend,
Her commerce rise, her realms extend;
Where now the panther guards his den,
Her de [...] forests swarm with men,
Her cities, tow'rs and columns rise,
And dazzling temples meet the skies;
Her pines descending to the main,
In triumph spread the watry plain,
Ride inland lakes with fav'ring gales,
And croud her ports with whit'ning sails;
Till to the skirts of western day,
The peopled regions own her sway."
Thus far M'Fingal told his tale,
When thundring shouts his ears assail,
And strait a Tory that stood centry,
Aghast rush'd headlong down the entry,
And with wild outcry, like magician,
Dispers'd the residue of vision:
For now the Whigs intell'gence found
Of Tories mustring under ground,
And with rude bangs and loud uproar,
'Gan thunder furious at the door.
The lights put out, each Tory calls
To cover him, on cellar walls,
[Page 100] Creeps in each box, or bin, or tub,
To hide his head from wrath of mob,
Or lurks, where cabbages in row
Adorn'd the side with verdant show.
M'Fingal deem'd it vain to stay,
And risk his bones in second fray;
But chose a grand retreat from soes,
In lit'ral sense, beneath their nose.
The window then, which none else knew,
He softly open'd and crept thro'
And crawling s [...]ow in deadly fear,
By movements wise made good his rear,
Then scorning all the fame of martyr,
For Boston took his swift departure;
Nor dar'd look back on fatal spot,
More than the family of Lot.
Not North in more distress'd condition,
Outvoted first by opposition:
Nor good king George when that dire phan [...]o [...]
Of Independence comes to haunt him,
Which hov'ring round by night and day,
Not all his conj'rers yet can lay.
His friends, assembled for his sake,
He wisely lest in pawn at stake,
To tarring, feath'ring, kicks and drubs
Of furious, disappointed mobs,
And with their forfeit hides to pay
For him, their leader, crept away.
So when wise Noah summon'd greeting
All animals to gen'ral meeting;
From ev'ry side the members sent
All kinds of beasts to represent;
Each from the flood took care t' embark,
And save his carcase in the ark;
But as it fares in state and church,
Left his constituents in the lurch.
FINIS.

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