THE kind respect thou shewed me, when at London, hath laid me under an obligation wherein I find my mind drawn to communicate to thee in the open­ings of divine love, on which I must desire thy favourable construction; as I am almost a stranger to thee. What I have to write, hath been on my mind these several weeks, in that pure innocent love, in which is the communion of saints. I have no learned method to deliver my religious experience ei­ther by word or writing, but plainly and sim­ply as the spirit of truth directs, and I being the weaker vessel too, have the more need to beg to be excused. I shall not write from notions or speculations; as at a distance, I look on such things as unsafe, and I know [Page 4]they are many times unsound, but I shall write a small part of what I have gone through, and what my soul hath tasted of the good word of life, which is near, that we may have fellowship together in God the father of our spirits, and in his son Je­sus Christ our Lord, whom my soul hath known, both in mercy and in judgment, to the mortifying, in a good degree, the fallen and corrupt nature, and to the puri­fying of my heart, so far, that I can say to his praise, I do not see HIM through particular forms, sects, party-impressi­ons, or any such thing; no, my dear friend, I never sought after the Lord in these ways, nor for any of these ends, but I sought after him in my young years for salvation, and I still seek to him for the perfect restoration of my soul in him. I have nothing of my own to boast of, unless it be weakness and infirmities; but desire to rejoice in the cross of Christ, by which I am crucified to the world, in a good degree, and the world to me, so that I can say I die daily.

And as touching the fondness for educa­tion, religious profession and conversation, these things have cast no mist before my eyes.

I can see, own and love the image of my Lord and Saviour in any sort of profession, [Page 5]if the soul hath been educated in the hea­venly university or school of Christ, never­theless we cannot see God in or have fellowship with all sorts of conversations, that of the wicked is as ‘if there was no God, God is not in all their thoughts:’ and such as despise the image of the meek, humble Jesus, and will follow none of his precepts, nor his self-denying example, whilst they are here; the Lord will here­after despise their image; for they shall have an image according to the feed or spirit, in which they lay down their body; every seed shall have its own body in the resurrection of the just and the unjust, and every one shall receive his own sentence: Thou well observest that sin, self-love, self-will, &c. contract the soul into a very nar­row compress, but the love of God, breaks down all those walls of selfishness by which the soul is hedged in and restrained from universal love and benignity. This is very true, but, there are those who will not re­ceive our love as it is in Jesus, nevertheless some have felt the flowings of the love and compassion of him, "that would not the death of a sinner, but rather that all would return to him, repent and live;" I am a witness for the Lord, that the shedding a­broad of his love over the inhabitants of this nation, hath been like showers of rain [Page 6]in the spring time, I well remember that I told a friend in London, I felt the di­vine extendings of the love of God, so to slow to the people, as I walked in the streets of the city, that I could have free­ly published the salvation of God, which is near, and his righteousness which is ready to be revealed, in the publick places of concoarse; the friend said he hoped it would not be required of me, this I mention to convince thee that universal love prevails in the hearts of some who are unknown to the world, and hardly known to their own brethren, and this is not to be wondered at, Eli did not know the inward exercise of Hannah, and the prophet Elijah thought he had been left alone, until the Lord told him he had seven thousand in Israel who had not bowed to Baal; the prophet Samuel, also when he looked out with an eye of reason on the goodness of the stature of Eli­ab said, surely the Lords anointed is be­fore him; so now unless the Lord be pleased to reveal things to us, we are liable to mis­take. But blessed be the name of our most gracious God, who is the same that ever he was, he sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.

I received thy second letter just as I was going out of London, of which I have sent [Page 7]thee a copy, with some annotations, my view therein is that if thou thinks it it may be of benefit to any, thou may com­municate it; if not let it lie by thee.

I take great notice of thy christian love and good advice in thy second letter, and do accept of it very heartily, and can assure thee, that my labour is not to gather people into a formality, but I labour according as the Lord enables me to gather souls to Christ, who is able to make the deceitful hearts of the children of men, plain, ho­nest, upright and clean, and "when the in­side is clean, the outside will be clean also," but I freely acknowledge that the glory of the true church or mystical body, or bride of Christ, which is made up of souls, who have entered into covenant with the Lord, to love and serve him forever, is within, her cloathing is of wrought gold, and the curious needlework of virgin wisdom is up­on her, for she having been stripped of all her old rags or garments of righteousness and unrighteousness, and having been wash­ed in pure water, her bridegroom hath an­ointed her with holy oil, the holy unction of his spirit, and he is cloathing her with the beautiful garment of his salvation, the robe of his righteousness; she is depending on him for her daily bread: So that she is not eating her own bread, nor wearing her [Page 8]own apparel; she cannot be content only with bearing his name, but longs to be made more and more a partaker of his di­vine nature, and the love of her Lord hath been and still is so largely extended to her, with her love so to him, that she is wholly subject to him, he ruleth in love, and she obeys in love, and this makes all things ea­sy; she hath no will of her own, but the will of her Lord is her will in all things, all his commands are pleasant to her, because she delights to wait on him, and to serve in his presence, and had rather be deprived of all outward enjoyments, than of his pre­sence and the enjoyment of his favour, her conversation is adorned with humility and meekness, her steps are comely in the eyes of her beloved, "all her children are taught of the Lord, established in righteous­ness, and great is their peace." And my foul may say to the praise and glory of God, that no greater comfort can be enjoyed on this side of the grave, than to be a child or member of this church.

And now, my dear friend, I will give thee a short account of the dealings of the Lord with me in my young years, how he brought my soul through fire and water, for what end this hath lived in my mind I know not, except it be for our spiritual communion; but when my soul is lowest [Page 9]and nearest to the Lord in the simplicity of truth, then is my heart opened and my mind filled with divine love respecting this matter desire thee to peruse it inwardly, when thou art retired, and not to judge of it before thou hast gone through it, and then judge as freely as thou pleasest: I was baptized and educated in the way of the church of England, I went to school to a minister thereof, and loved and honoured him greatly, he shewed great kindness and tenderness to me, and in those days I looked on the ministers to be like angels, that brought glad tid­ings to the children of men; but when I was about fourteen years of age, I went to live at a knight's house who kept a chaplain; I observed his conversation and saw it was vain, and I thought it ought not to be so, and was troubled in my mind, for I then began to think on my latter end, and also on eternity, and I had no assurance of salva­tion, or a state of happiness, if it should please the Lord to send the messenger of death to call me [...]way, so the fear of the Lord laid hold on my mind, and I began to search the scriptures, and found they testi­fied that the wicked should be turned into hell, and all those that forgot God; and I saw that both priests and people did too ge­nerally forget God, as soon as they came off their knees or from their devotion, and [Page 10]I was much afraid of hell, and wanted an assurance of a place in the kingdom of hea­ven; then I began to think on the great pro­misses that were made for me in my baptism, as they called it, whereby they said I was made a member of Christ, a child of God &c. and that I should renounce the devil and all his works, the pomps and vanities of this wicked world, and all the sinful lusts of the flesh, and should keep God's holy will and commandments. I thought indeed this was the way to obtain a place in the kingdom of heaven, but I had no power to do what I ought to do, nor to forsake what I ought to forsake, for I was very proud, vain and airy, but as I was thus inwardly exercised, and outwardly searching the scriptures, my understanding was more and more opened, I read and took notice that the ministers of Christ, which he qualified and sent forth to preach were to do it freely, for Christ said, "freely ye have received freely give," and that those "who run when the Lord never sent them, should not profit the people at all," and many such things open­ed in my mind and I used to ponder them in my heart, and the promises to the flock in the 34th of Ezekiel, where the Lord promised to bind up that which was brok­en, and to strengthen that which was sick. Those and such like portions of the scrip­tures, [Page 11]were very comfortable to me, for I was sick of my sins, and my heart was broken many times before the Lord, and I thought, Oh that I had lived in the days of Christ, I would surely have been one of those that followed him, and I grieved be­cause the Jews crucified him, so that I loved Christ in the outward appearance, and could have said (as Peter said) far be it from thee Lord to suffer: Yet I did not know he was so near me by his holy spirit; but I was convinced that the hireling shepherds who teach for hire and divine for money ^* were not the ministers of Christ, by the testimony of the prophets and of Christ himself, who said "by their fruits ye shall know them," so I left going to hear them; and walked alone, for I went so long till a fear followed me into the worship house, and I thought it would be just upon me, if I was made an example for my inattention, to the spirit of truth. And when I was about fifteen years old, it pleased God to send the spirit of grace and supplication, into my heart, by which I prayed fervently unto the Lord; there was a divine breathing in my soul, I had no life in my forms of prayer, except that one which Christ taught his disciples, for which I have al­ways had a reverent esteem, but when I was in a state to pray, I found that the spirit made in­tercession [Page 12]in me and for me, according to the present want and necessity of my soul, I remember the expressions that used to run through my mind were Oh Lord! preserve me in thy fear and in thy truth. Oh Lord! shew me thy way, and make known thy mind and will unto me;—and I thought I was ready to obey it, and much desired to know the people of God, for my soul cried, Oh Lord where dost thou feed thy flock, why should I be as one that is turned aside from the flocks of thy com­panions. Oh the drawing cords of thy divine love. Oh thou didst draw my soul with longings and breathings after the knowledge of the only true God, and of Jesus Christ. There was then no condemna­tion for the sins of ignorance which the Lord winked at, but he called me to re­pent and forsake my pride and vain com­pany, which was a great cross to the will of the flesh, and I took it up for several months, and while I did so, my soul had great peace and divine comfort, so that many times the enjoyment of divine love was more to me than my natural food, or any outward thing. I remember when the family used to ask me why I did not come to meat, I used to think I had meat to eat, they knew nothing of, and in those times of retirement, I had manifestations of suf­ferings, [Page 13]that I should go through, and a sight of several things which I met with since, and in those times I walked alone; I was convinced that the Quakers held the principles of truth, and that their ministry was the true ministry, but I dwelt then far from any of them, only thus it had happen­ed. When I was about twelve years old, I was at a meeting or two of theirs, and the doctrine of one man that preached there, proved to me (as the wise man terms it) "like bread cast upon the waters, for it was found after many days," the sound of his voice seemed to be in my mind, when I was alone, and some of his words came fresh into my remembrance, and the voice and the words suited with the exercise of my mind, and at that time I met also with a little book of theirs, which as the doc­trine it contained agreed with the doctrine of the apostles, I was confirmed in my judgment, that their profession agreed with the truth, but did not join with them, for by that time flesh and blood began to be very uneasy, under the yoke of retirement, and to groan for liberty. I was about six­teen years old, and the subtle enemy lay near, and did not want instruments; so I was persuaded by reasoning with flesh and blood, that I was young and might take a little more pleasure, and might [Page 14]serve God when I was older; so I let go my exercise of watching and praying, left off retirement, and let my love out to visible objects, pride and vanity grew up again, the divine, sweet, meek, loving spirit withdrew, and I could not find it again when I pleased, altho' I did seek it sometimes; for I could have been pleased with the sweet comforts of his love, yet I did not like to bear the daily cross, and being con­vinced that was the Quakers princi­ples, and believing they did enjoy the sweetness of divine love in their meetings, I went sometimes a great way to a meeting to seek for divine refreshment there, but to no purpose, for I was like some dry stick that had no sap nor virtue, unto which rain or sun shine, summer or winter are all alike; thus it was with me for about three years. Oh the remem­brance of that mispent time! Oh the tribu­lation that came on me for my diso­bedience, is never to be forgotten by me: But when I was about nineteen years of age, it pleased the Almighty to send his quick­ning spirit again into my heart, and his light shined into my mind, all my trans­gressions were set in order before me, and I was made deeply sensible of my great loss; and then, Oh! then the vials of the wrath [Page 15]of an angry father, were poured out on the transgressing nature, Oh! then I cried, woe is me, woe is me, I am undone, I have slain the babe of grace, I have crucified the Lord of life and glory to myself afresh, al­though I have not put him to open shame, for I had been preserved in moral honesty in all respects, to that degree, that I durst not tell a lye, or speak an evil word, and could be trusted in any place, and in any thing, for this would be in my mind many times, that if I was not faithful in the un­righteous mammon, I should not be trust­ed with the heavenly treasure, but not­withstanding my righteousness, he whose eye penetrates all hearts found me so guil­ty, that I thought there was no mercy for me, Oh! that testimony of our blessed Lord Jesus, I found to be true (viz.) Ex­cept your righteousness exceed the righte­ousness of the Scribes and Pharisees, there is no admittance into the kingdom of hea­ven or favour of God. But after many days and nights of sorrow and great anguish, having no soul to speak to, it came into my mind to give myself up into the hands of God, and I said, Oh Lord! if I perish, it shall be at the gate of thy mercy, for if thou cast me into hell, I cannot help myself, therefore I will give up my soul, my life, and all into thy holy hand, do thy pleasure [Page 16]by me, thy judgements are just, for I have slighted thy sweet love, and have slain the babe of grace. And as I sunk down into death, and owned and submitted to the judgments of God, my heart was broken, which before was hard, and it pleased my merciful father to cause his divine sweet love, to spring again in my hard, dry and barren soul, as a spring of living water, and the fire of the wrath of God was migh­tily abated, and the compassionate bowels of a tender saviour my soul felt, I had living hope raised in my mind, yet greater afflictions came afterwards, so that I may say by experience, "strait is the gate and narrow is the way indeed, that leads to life;" and I have cause to believe, none but such as are made willing to be stript of all that belongs to self, or the old man, and do become as a little child, can rightly or truly enter in at the strait gate. And I do find by experience, that no vulture's eye, no venemous beast, nor lofty lion's whelp, can look into or tread in this holy narrow way, altho' it is our king's high way: Oh! the longing that there is in my soul, that all might con­sider it. But to proceed, I thought all was well, the worst is now over, and I am a­gain taken into the favour of God, and so I was led into an elevation of joy, tho' in­wardly [Page 17]in silence; but in a few days my soul was led into a wilderness, where there was no way, no guide, no light, that I could see, but darkness such as might be felt indeed, for the horrors of it were such, that when it was night I wished for morn­ing, and when it was morning I wished for evening, the Lord was near but I knew it not, he had brought my soul into the wil­derness, and there he pleaded with me by his fiery law, and righteous judgments; the day of the Lord came upon me, which burnt as an oven in my bosom, till all pride and vanity were burnt up, my former delights were gone, my old heavens were passed a­way within me, as with fire, and I had as much exercise in my mind of anguish and sorrow as I could bear, day and night, for several months, and not a drop of divine comfort, I could compare my heart to no­thing, unless it were a coal of fire, or an hot iron, no brokenness of heart or tenderness of spirit, although I cried to God continu­ally in the deep distress of my soul, yet not one tear could issue from my eyes, Oh! the days of sorrow and nights of anguish, that I went through, no tongue can utter or heart conceive, which hath not gone through the like; I could have wished I had been some other creature, that I might not have known such anguish and sorrow, for I [Page 18]thought all other creatures were in their proper places, but my troubles were aggra­vated by the strong oppression and tempta­tion of Satan, who was very unwilling to lose his subject, so he raised all his forces, and made use of all his armour, which he had in the house, and I found him to be like a strong man armed indeed, for he would not suffer me to enter into resigna­tion, but would have me look into myste­ries that appertain to salvation, with an eye of carnal reason, and because I could not so comprehend, he caused me to question the truth of all things that are left upon record in the holy scriptures, and would have persuaded me into the Jews opinion concerning Christ, and many other baits and resting places he laid before me, but my soul hungred after the true bread, the bread of life, which came from God out of heaven, which Christ testified of (see John 6th, beginning at 27th verse to the end) which I had felt near, and my soul had tast­ed of it, although the devil prompted me with his temptations, my soul could not feed on them, but cried continually, thy presence Oh Lord! or else I die. Oh! let me feel thy saving arm or else I perish. Oh Lord! Give me faith. Thus was my soul exercised in earnest supplications unto God night and day, and yet I went about my [Page 19]outward occasions, and made my com­plaint to none but God only, and I have often since considered that any soul that can be content to feed on any thing below the enjoyment of God, the subtle serpent finds suitable baits for them; so having known the terrors of God and the subtle wiles of satan, I am concerned sometimes to persuade people to repent, and to warn them to flee from the wrath to come. Now all my faith which I had before, whilst in disobedience, proved like building on a sandy foundation &c. All the comfort I used to have in reading the scriptures, was taken away, and I durst not read for some­time, because it added to my condemna­tion; so I was left to depend upon God a­lone, who caused me to feel a little hope at times, like a little glimmering of light underneath my troubles, which was some stay to my mind, and if it had not been so, I had fallen into despair, but I much desired to be brought through my troubles the right way, and not to shake off or get over them in my own time; I had not freedom to make known my condition to any person, for I used to think if the Lord did not help me, in vain was the help of man, and I have since seen it was well I did not upon several accounts, for I might have come to a loss if I had done so; as it [Page 20]was the will of the Lord to humble me, and to turn up and throw down, all that which might be imputed to man or self, that I might know the work or building of the Lord to be raised from the foundation of his own power, where there is none of man's building, that all the glory might be given to him alone, for we are very apt to say in effect, I am of Paul, I am of Apollos, I am of Cephas and I of Christ, as if Christ was divided; but the Lord will not give his glory to another, nor his praise to graven images; for as thou my friend well observ­est, the chief that we ought to labour for is to make people sensible of their corrup­tion, to direct them to the word nigh, and to be good examples to them; so in the Lord's due and appointed time, when he had seen my suffering of that fiery kind to be sufficient, he was pleased to cause his divine love to flow in my bosom, in an ex­traordinary manner, and the holy spirit of divine light and life, did overcome my soul; then a divine sense and understanding was given me to know the power, and also the love of God in sending his only son, out of his bosom into the world, to take upon him, a body of flesh, wherein he did go through the whole progress of suffering, for the salvation of mankind, and so did break through, and break open the gates of [Page 21]death, and repaired the breach that old A­dam had made between God and man, and restored the path for souls to come to God.

And the Almighty was pleased at that time to make my simple soul sensible, that he did send the spirit of his son again into my heart, in order to lead me through the progress of his suffering, that as he died for sin, so I might die to sin, by bearing the daily cross, and living in self denial, humility and obedience to God my hea­venly father, in all things he should require of me, and then the baptism of the Holy Ghost, compared to water, as well as fire, my soul came to witness, and the ministra­tion of judgment and condemnation, I saw had a glory in it, which made way for the ministration of life, and the ax of God's word was laid to the evil root of the tree &c. and the voice of him that preached re­pentance my soul heard, that called for the mountains to be laid low, and the valleys to be raised, viz. the mountains of my na­tural temper, that a plain way might be made for the ransomed soul to walk in, and the Lord shewed me, how John the baptist came to be counted the greatest prophet that was born of a woman, viz. because he was the forerunner of Jesus Christ, and is rightly termed the mourner, and how the [Page 22]least in the kingdom of heaven was greater than he that is under his ministration only, which was to decrease, but the ministration of Jesus was to encrease, whose baptism is with the Holy Ghost, and with fire, and he will thoroughly purge his floor ; then I came to witness that it is indeed the work of God to believe rightly and truly on him whom God hath sent, that this purify­ing saving faith is the gift of God, and the very spring or vital principle of it, (divine love) then I mourned over him whom I had pierced with my unbelief and hard­ness of heart, and I did eat my bread with weeping and mingled my drink with tears, I was between 19 and 20 years of age, when these great conflicts were on my mind, by which I was brought very humble, and I had entered into solemn covenants with God Almighty, that I would answer his re­quirings, if it were to the laying down my natural life; but when it was shewed me that I ought to take up the cross in a little thing, I had like to have hearkened to the reasoner again, and been disobedient in the day of small things; for altho' I had gone through so much inward exercise, yet I was afraid of displeasing my superiors, being then a servant to great persons. It was shewed me, that I should not give flattering titles to man, and I was threat­ned [Page 23]inwardly that if I would not be obedi­ent to the Lord's requirings, he would take away his good spirit from me again, so I was in a strait, I was afraid of displeasing God, and afraid of displeasing man, till at last I was charged by the spirit, with ho­nouring of man more than God, for in my address to God, I did use the plain lan­guage, but when I spoke to man or wo­man I must speak otherwise, or else they would be offended, and some would argue that God Almighty being that only one, that therefore the single language was pro­per to him alone, and man being made up of compound matter, the plural language was more proper to him, &c. Oh the sub­tle twistings of proud Lucifer that I have seen, would be too large to insert, but al­though God Almighty is that only one, yet he is that being of all beings, for in him we live, move and have our being; but let the cover be what it would, I had scripture on my side, which they called their rule, and I knew proud man disdained to re­ceive that language from an inferior, which he gave to the Almighty: So it became a great cross to me, but it was certainly a letting thing in the way of the progress of my soul, until I gave up to the Lord's requirings in this small thing; these things I signify to thee, dear friend, in [Page 24]great simplicity, that thou mayst see, how the Lord leads out of the vain customs that are in the world, not only in what I men­tioned, but also in many other things, and hath led in that humble self-denying way, which Christ both taught and practised, when he was visible among men. Christ is the true christians pattern, and his spirit their leader, and now I shew thee this in truth and sincerity, because I would not be misunderstood by thee, viz. I am a single soul, wholly devoted to the Lord, and so do not plead for a form, for forms sake, neither do I plead for a people as a people, for we are grown to be a mixed multitude, much like the children of Israel when they were in the wilderness, but this I may say to the praise and glory of God, that the principle that we make profession of, is the very truth (viz.) Christ in the male and in the female, the hope of glory, and Christ thou knowest is the way, the truth and the life, and none comes to God but by him, so there is a remnant which like Joshua and Caleb of old are true to the Lord, who is their spiritual leader, and follow him faithfully, and they stand clear in their tes­timonies against all dead formalities, which are but as images, when the vital principle (viz.) the divine love is withdrawn, and yet as the spirit of Jesus leads out of all [Page 25]vain customs and traditions, which are in the world, and leads us in the plain, hum­ble, meek, self-denying life and conversa­tion, which Christ walked in while he was visible among men; I could heartily wish all to follow the leadings of his spirit herein, that thereby they may confess Christ before men; but if it please the almighty to accept of souls, without leading them through such fiery trials, as he brought me through, or without requiring such things of them as he required of me, far be it from me to judge, that such have not known the Lord, or the indwellings of his love, if the fruits of the spirit of Jesus be plain upon them; for every tree is known by its fruits, and to our own master we must stand or fall. But dear friend, as thou well observed, that purification is a gradual work, I may say so by experience, for when the old ad­versary could no longer draw me out into vain talking, and foolish jesting, then he perplexed me with vain thoughts, some of which were according to my natural dispo­sition, and some of them quite contrary, and Oh! I cried mightily unto the Lord for power over vain thoughts, for they were a great trouble to me, and I stood in great fear lest one day or other, I should fall by the hand of the enemy, but the Lord spake comfortably to my soul, in his [Page 26]own words left upon record, "fear not little flock it is your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom," and the Lord gave me an evidence along with it, that my soul was one of that little flock; another time when I was very low in my mind, these words sprang with life and virtue, (viz.) "although thou hast lain amongst the pots, yet I will give thee the wings of a dove, covered with silver, and her fea­thers of yellow gold." Oh! it was wonder­fully comfortable to me, when the Holy Ghost did bring a promise to my remem­brance, an [...] gave me an evidence that it was my portion, so I pondered on this, concerning the wings of a dove, and I thought it must needs be the wing of inno­cency, whereby my soul might ascend unto God by prayer, meditation and divine con­templation, and so I took delight to pray in secret and fast in secret, from the secret outgoings of my mind as well as I could, and my heavenly father which seeth and heareth in secret, himself did reward me o­penly, for then, when I went to meetings, I did not set in darkness, dryness and bar­renness, as I used to do in the times of my disobedience, but I did reap the benefit of the end of the coming of Christ, who said "the thief cometh not but to kill, to steal and to destroy, but I am come that ye [Page 27]might have life, and that you might have it more abundantly." So, the thief had in the time of my disobedience stole my soul from Jesus, who saith, "whoso loveth fa­ther or mother &c. or his own life more than me is not worthy of me," and so it had been with me, and I missed the benefit of reaping the end of his coming, for several years, but he in mercy being returned, afforded my bowed down soul the enjoy­ment of his divine presence, and was pleas­ed to cause his love, which is the true life of the soul, to abound in my bosom in meetings, that my cup did overflow, and I was constrained, under a sense of duty, to kneel down in the congregation, and con­fess to the goodness of God, and pray to him for the continuation of it, and to pray for power whereby I might be enabled to walk, worthy of so great a favour, benefit and mercy, that I had received at his boun­tiful hand; and I remember after I had made publick confession to the goodness of God, my soul was as if it had been in ano­ther world, it was enlightned and enliven­ed by the divine love, that I was in love with the whole creation of God, and I saw every thing to be good in its place, and I was shewed things ought to be kept in their proper places, the swine ought not to come into the garden, nor the clean beasts [Page 28]ought not to be taken into the bedcham­ber; and as it was in the outward, so it ought to be in the inward and new crea­tion; so every thing began to preach to me, the very fragrant herbs, and beautiful innocent flowers had a speaking voice in them to my soul, and things seemed to have another relish with them than before: The judgments of God were sweet to my soul, and I was made to call to others sometimes, to come and taste and see, how good the Lord is, and to exhort them to prove the Lord, by an obedient, humble, innocent walking before him, and then they would see, that he would pour out of his spiritual blessings in so plentiful a man­ner, that there would not be room enough to contain them, but the overflowings would return to him, who is the fountain, with thanksgivings &c. And I was made to warn people, that they should not provoke the Lord by disobedience, for although he bears and suffers long, as he did with the rebellious Israelites in the wilderness, yet such shall know him to be a God of justice and judgment, and shall be made to con­fess one day.

And, thus dear friend, I have given thee a plain but a true account of my qualifica­tion, and call to the service of the minis­try; but it was several years, before I came [Page 29]to a freed state or even temper of mind, for sometimes clouds would arise and inter­pose between my soul and the rising sun, and I was brought down into the furnace often, and found by experience that every time my soul was brought down as into the furnace of affliction, that it did still come up more clean and bright, and altho' the cloud did interpose between me and the ris­ing sun, yet when the sun of righteousness did appear again, he brought healing as un­der his wings, and was nearer than before. Thus dear friend, I express things in simpli­city, as they were represented to me, in the manifestation of them in the morning of my days. So I came to love to dwell with judgment, and used often to pray, saying Oh Lord! Search me and try me, for thou knowest my heart better than I know it, and I pray thee let no deceitfulness of un­righteousness lodge therein, but let thy judgments pass upon every thing that is contrary to thy pure divine nature: thus my soul used to breathe to the Lord conti­nually, and hunger and thirst after a more full enjoyment of his presence, although he is a consuming fire to the corrupt nature of the old man, yet my soul loved to dwell with him, or else I found many sorts of cor­ruptions would be endeavouring to spring up again, and so I resigned up my mind [Page 30]to the Lord, with desires that he would feed me with food convenient for me; and this I can say by experience, that the soul that is born of God, doth breathe to him, as constantly by prayer as the sucking child, when it is born into the world, doth draw in and breathe out the common air; so the child of God doth draw in and breathe forth the breath of life, by which man was made a living soul to God, and this breathing that is pure and divine, all that are in the old man or fallen corrupt nature know nothing of, it is a mystery to them; but a babe in Christ knows it to be true, and although the children in our father's fa­mily are of several ages, growths or sta­tures, both in strength and understanding, yet this I have observed in all my travels, that those that live to God, continue in a state of breathing to him while here, and hunger and thirst after a more full enjoy­ment of his divine presence, that as every day brings us nearer to the grave, so every day the soul may be brought into a more divine union and communion with God; which is a certain sign to me, of the divine life and health of a soul, if I find it sweetly breathing unto the Lord, and hungring and thirsting after his righteousness; and it is very evidently seen, and easily known by the conversation of persons, what man­ner [Page 31]of spirit doth govern in them, altho' ma­ny will not believe those things if it be de­clared to them, neither will they try whe­ther it be so or not, but they are satisfied with the husk of religion: Oh! what will they do when the rudiments and beggarly elements of this world fall off, and all our works must pass through the fire; my very soul mourns for them, but we must press forwards and leave them if they will not arise out of their false rest.

Dear friend, as thou well observed, it is a great help to the soul to know its own cor­ruptions, and from whence it is fallen, that it may know whither to return. These things are very true, and the knowledge of them hath been a great comfort to me, and so have the experiences of the servants of the Lord, agreeable to the testimonies left on record, which are as waymarks to the spiritual traveller; and we have a great pri­viledge in and by them, but above all Christ our holy pattern and heavenly leader, my soul prizeth the knowledge of his footsteps, the leading of his spirit, the spirit of truth, the comforter, which the father hath sent to lead us into all truth, who hath said, "by this I know that I am true, because I seek not mine own honour, but the honour of him that sent me." And Oh! saith my soul, that we may follow the leadings of our [Page 32]unerring guide in all things that he may lead us into, and I have good cause to believe, he will bring through all tribulations to the honour of God and our comfort; for the Lord hath brought my soul through many tryals, one after another as he saw meet, some more of which I may give an hint of (viz.) After my inward tribulation was abat­ed, then outward tryals began, for there were some of no small account, that en­deavoured with all their might and cunning, to hinder the work from prospering in me, and as Saul hunted David, and sought to take away his natural life, so these hunted my soul to take away its life, which it had in God, but all wrought together for my good. I have often seen, and therefore may say, the Lord knoweth what is best for his children, better than we know for our­selves, and so my enemies instead of driving my soul away from God, drove it more near to him, for this tryal caused me to prove the spirit which had the exercise of my mind, and I found it to be the spirit of truth, which the worldly and self-minded cannot receive, for I found the nature of it to be harmless and holy, and to lead me to love mine enemies, to pity them and pray for them, and this love was my preserva­tion, and as I gave up in obedience to the operation and requiring of this meek spirit, [Page 33]it ministred such peace to my soul, that the world cannot give. But there was a dispo­sition in me, to please all, which I found to be very hard for me to be weaned from, so as to stand single to God, for when I did fear man, I had nothing but anguish and sor­row, and I used often to walk alone and pour out my complaint to the Lord. But after a long time when the Lord had tryed my fidelity to him as he saw meet, one day as I was sitting in a meeting in silence, wait­ing upon the Lord, to know my strength renewed in him and by him. This portion of scripture was given to me (viz.) "Com­fort ye my people, saith your God, speak comfortably to Jerusalem and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished, that her iniquities are pardoned, that she hath re­ceived of the Lord's hand double for all her sins." This brought great comfort to my soul, and I treasured it in my heart, and I made this observation, that from that time the Lord gave my soul (as the apostle Peter expresses it) a more abundant entrance into the heavenly kingdom or New Jerusalem, whose walls are salvation and her gates praise, and my mind was brought into more stillness, and troublesome thoughts were in a good degree expelled, and my outward enemies grew weary of their work and fail­ed of their hope. The praise I freely, in [Page 34]great humility, offer up and ascribe to al­mighty God, for it was his own work to preserve me from many strong temptations. So after I had peace at home every way, I was drawn by the spirit of love, to travel into the North of England, and on my jour­ney my soul had many combats with the evil spirit; when I was asleep he tormented me as long as he could. I have indeed had a long war with the devil many ways, and abundance of courage was given to me to make war with him, and I always gained the victory, when cowardly fearful nature was asleep, which was comfortable to my mind, and I did hope that the Lord would give me perfect victory over the devil when I was awake, as he had let me see it to be so when I was asleep, and the spirit which led me forth, was to me like a needle of a compass, touched with a loadstone, for so it pointed where I ought to go, and when I came to the far end of the journey. In those days I had certain manifestations of many things in dreams, which did come to pass according to their significations, and I was many times forewarned of enemies, and so was better able to guard against them; I travelled in great fear and humili­ty, and the Lord was with me to his glory and my comfort, and brought me home a­gain, in peace. And in the year 1697, in the [Page 35]sixth month, as I was sitting in a meeting in Gloucester, which was then the place of my abode, my mind was gathered into perfect stillness for some time, and my spirit was as if it had been carried away into America, and after it returned, my heart was as if it had been dissolved with the love of God, and it flowed over the great Ocean, and I was constrained to kneel down and pray for the seed of God in America, and the con­cern never went out of my mind day nor night, until I went to travel there in the love of God, which is so universal that it reaches over sea and land; but when I looked at my concern with an eye of human reason, it seemed to be very strange and hard to me, for I knew not the country, nor any that dwelt therein; and I reasoned much concerning my own unfitness, but when I let in such reasonings, I had nothing but death and darkness, and trouble at­tended my mind, but when I resigned up my all to the Lord, and gave up in my mind to go, then the divine love did spring up in my heart, and my soul was at liberty to worship the Lord as in the land of the liv­ing; thus I tryed and proved the concern several times in my own heart, till at last these words ran through my mind with au­thority (viz.) The fearful and unbelieving shall have their portion with the hypocrite [Page 36]in the lake that burns with fire and brim­stone; which is the second death; this brought a dread, and I told my husband that I had a concern on my mind to go to America, and asked him if he could give me up. He said he hoped it would not be required of me; but I told him it was, and that I should not go without his free consent, which seemed a little hard to him at first, but a little while after I was taken with a violent fever, which brought me so weak, that all that saw me thought I should not recover. But I thought my days work was not done, and my chief concern in my sick­ness was about going to America. But some were troubled that I had made it pub­lick, because they thought I should die, and people would speak reproachfully of me, and said, if I did recover, the ship would be ready to sail before I should be fit to go, &c. But I thought if they would but carry me and lay me down in the ship, I should be well, for the Lord was very gra­cious to my soul in the time of my sickness, and gave me a promise that his presence should go with me ; and then my husband was made very willing to give me up, he said if it were for seven years, rather than to have me taken from him forever. So at last all those difficulties passed over, and I failed from Bristol in the 9th month, 1697, with [Page 37]my companion Mary Rogers. The dangers we were in at sea, and the faith and cou­rage the Lord gave to my soul would be too large here to relate, for I had such an evi­dence of my being in my proper place, that the fear of death was taken away; Oh! it is good to trust in the Lord and be obedient to him, for his mercies endure forever; so about the middle of the 12th month, 1697, through the good providence of the Al­mighty, we arrived in Virginia, and as I travelled along the country from one meet­ing to another, I observed great numbers of black people, that were in slavery, and they were a strange people to me, and I wanted to know whether the visitation of God was to their souls or not, and I observed their conversation, to see if I could discern any good in them, so after I had travelled a­bout four weeks, as I was in bed one morning in an house in Maryland, after the sun was up and shone into the chamber, I fell into a slumber, and dreamed I was a servant in a great man's house, and that I was drawing water at a well to wash the uppermost rooms of the house, and when I was at the well, a voice came to me, which bid me go and call other servants to help me and I went presently; but as I was going a­long in a very pleasant green meadow, a great light shined about me, which exceed­ed [Page 38]the light of the sun, and I walked in the midst, and as I went on in the way, I saw a chariot drawn with horses coming to meet me, and I was in care left the light that shone about me, should frighten the horses, and cause them to throw down the people which I saw in the chariot; when I came to them, I looked on them, and I knew they were the servants, I was sent to call, and I saw they were both white and black people, and I said unto them, why have you staid so long? And they said the Buckets were frozen, we could come no sooner, so I was satisfied the call of the Lord was unto the black people as well as the white, ^* and, I saw the fulfilling of it in part, before I re­turned out of America, with many more remarkable things, which would be too te­dious here to mention.—But, Oh! great is the condescension and goodness of God to poor mankind, it is a good observation on the tender dealings of our heavenly father, "that we may set up our Ebenezer and say Hitherto hath the Lord helped us," and in­deed I may say to his praise, it hath been through many streights and difficulties, more than I can number, and they have all wrought together for the good of my soul, and I have cause to believe, that every son [Page 39]or daughter he receives, he chastens, tries, and proves, and these that do not bear the chastisements of God, do prove bastards and not sons, but I may say as one did of old, "It is good for me that I have been af­flicted &c." and it is good to follow the leadings of the spirit of God, as faithful Abraham did, who was called the friend of God, who did not withhold his only son, when the Lord called for him, and it is my belief the Lord will try his chosen ones as gold is tried, and will yet refine them as gold is refined, and what if he brings us yet down again into the furnace, which way it shall please him, until we are seven times refined. We shall be the better able to bear the impression of his image upon us in all our conversations, and if the day should come, wherein none shall buy nor sell, that have not the mark of the beast, either in their right hand or in their forehead, it is but what hath been told us beforehand, and these that will know an overcoming, it must be by the blood of the lamb, (viz.) by a­biding in the meek, love, and suffering seed, and by the word of their testimony, and that love not their lives unto death, we may observe that those that had not the mark of the beast in their forehead, if they had in their right hand it would do, they could shew it if there was occasion, to keep off a [Page 40]stroke (this I take near home.) Oh the mystery of iniquity how secretly it works, we may well say, the testimony that Jesus bore to the young man, that desired to follow him, is very true, "Foxes have holes and fowls of the air have nests, but the son of man hath not where to lay his head," Oh! Innocent truth, Oh! plain, meek, humble Jesus, where doth he repose, where doth he reign without mo­lestation.

Dear Friend, excuse my freedom with thee, for the love of God constraineth me, and I do believe that the Lord will shew thee yet further, what testimony thou must bear for his name, and what thou must suffer for his sake, (if faithful) for trying times will come, and offences will be gi­ven (and taken) but there is nothing will offend those that love the Lord Jesus above all, for altho' many murmured and were offended at Jesus when he told them the truth, and that which was of absolute necessity for all to know and witness in themselves, as we read in the 6th of John, beginning at the 32d verse in his answer to the Jews, but by that time he had done, many of his disciples went from him, then said he to the twelve, "Will ye also go a­way." But Peter said, "whether shall we go, thou hast the words of eternal life, [Page 41]and we believe and are sure, thou art Christ the son of the living God." So God hath given to the faithful to believe, yea, and we are sure that the spirit of truth is come, that leads the followers of it into all truth, and that Christ who is one with his spirit, who was once offered, to bear the sins of many, has appeared again the second time without sin unto salvation. Oh! surely the goodness of God hath been very great to the children of men from age to age, and from one generation to another, ever since the fall of our first parents, the more my mind penetrates into it, the more I am like to be swallowed up in admiration of his condescension and goodness through all his dispensations, but above all in tne manifes­tation of Jesus Christ our holy pattern and heavenly leader, Oh! my soul praise him for whom the knowledge of his holy foot­steps, God gave for a light to us gen­tiles? and to be his salvation to the ends of the earth, and hath given his spirit to dwell in us, and accepted our souls to dwell in him. Oh admirable goodness! shall we leave him? He is the word of eternal life, and whither shall we go? and so far as any are followers of Jesus, so far I desire to fol­low them, or to be one with them, and no further, let these do what they will, if any will go back into the sea, out of which the [Page 42]beast ariseth, and receive his mark, our leader is not to be blamed, he holds on his way, and causes his trumpet to be blown in Sion, and an alarm to be beaten in his holy mountain, and whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning if the sword of the Lord do come (in any kind) and take him away, his blood shall be up­on his own head. He heard the sound of the trumpet and took not warning, but he that taketh warning shall deliver his own soul. But great is the duty of [...] man, and great is the kindness God ex­pressed in the 33d of Ezekiel. Oh my dear friend, my heart is full of the goodness of the Lord, but I must stop writing lest I should be tedious to thee, and indeed it might be accounted foolishness for me to write after this manner to one in thy sta­tion. But I sind a constraint thereto and must commit it to thy judgment, be it what it may, but this I will assure thee, my heart is plain, I mean as I speak, and I find it my safest place so to do, and to keep in humble obedience to the Lord, in what­soever he requires of me, yet I know the wisdom of God, appears to be foolishness in the eyes of the wise men of this world, and we know that the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God, and will prove so in the latter end, to these poor souls, that so [Page 43]mightily esteem of it, but the souls of the righteous are in the hand of the Lord, and there shall no torment touch them, altho' in the sight of the unwise, both their life and their death is taken for misery, nevertheless they are in peace.

I desire if thou findest any thing on thy mind, please to let me have it, &c. So in the love that is pure, doth my soul greet thee and remain

I AM heartily glad you are come to town again, so that I might have an opportu­nity of seeing you, before you leave Eng­land, your letter hath been read with great satisfaction by myself and many of my friends. But I have not been able to re­cover it yet out of their hands. Some have even desired to transcribe it for their edification, and this is the reason, I did not send you presently an answer, tho' it hath been all along upon my mind to express the satisfaction I had at the reading thereof, and to assur [...] [Page 44]how welcome news it is to me when e­ver I meet with a fellow pilgrim, travel­ling to the city which is adorned with twelve pearls, to receive all such who have made up the family of God in this wicked generation, and have been pre­sented for his peculiar people in all parts and denominations of christendom, which now go altogether a whoring after the ima­ginations of their own heart, I had a mind to have given you at large my thoughts up­on your letter. True love being of an uni­versal and overflowing nature, and not easi­ly shut up by names, notions, peculiar modes, forms and hedges of men, and if you'l be pleased to correspond with me, even after your return from America, I shall always be ready to answer your kindness, and to make up again wherein I have been wanting at present, and so recommend you to the infinite favour and protection of the Lord.