THE CRISIS. NUMBER XXI.
To Lord NORTH.
IN the fewest words I can possibly use (for I will not waste many upon you, who are as callous as your tyrannic master) I most heartily congratulate your Lordship upon the honourable retreat of your unnatural and savage mercenaries under the command of your bully, Col. Smith. I am told your master laughs at the event; you, who know him, know to which of his amiable qualities we are to impute this heroic merriment; whether to his brutality, his stupidity, or hypocrisy. Let him remember, and do you tremble, when I tell your Lordship, that neither of those qualities will avail him in the field, however they may be flattered in his sycophantic circle at a fawning levee.
In the subsequent part of this paper, I have given a true reason for the early prorogation of your smuggled parliament. I have told how much your Lordship and your ministerial gang feared the arrival of news from Boston, during the sitting of parliament.
But why has your Lordship stopped the publication [Page 174]of this pleasing news in your Gazette? Why do you wait for the arrival of the Sukey? With what delusive lye do you intend to cheat the people, who, even in this kingdom, are upon the eve of taking arms? I tell your Lordship, peremptorily, that they will do so. Though I know, that neither you, nor any of your impolitic, bloody herd, from the master butcher, down to his lowest slaughterman, can relent, yet in the name of the people of England, I charge you all to desist.
Forewarned, forearmed, my Lord, you have now, most traiterously opened a scene of CIVIL WAR in America; let me conjure you not to risque one here. Turn over the annals of that weak tyrant Charles the first? lay them fairly (in spite of Bute and Mansfield) before your deluded, infatuated sovereign, dare to be honest in this dreadful CRISIS, do not, like a coward, consult your own safety, but your country's. Let Bute and Mansfield perish; and, if there is a blacker parricide, let him fall too; nay, rather fall yourself, my Lord, then lend a further hand to extinguish liberty in this unhappy empire.
Your vain, your wicked hopes of conquest in America, will most assuredly prove abortive; your retreating troops, your mercenary parricides (England disclaims the assassins) have drawn blood from the virtuous, the brave, the free Americans. It is the wish, my Lord, of every true born Briton, that those military hirelings (who are England's bastards, not her sons; may fall a sacrifice to the justice of America. Rest assured, my Lord, that they will be cut to pieces before your murderous reinforcement, under that necessitous tool Burgoyne, can possibly arrive.
[Page 175] That every reinforcement for such inhuman, unnatural, and unjust purposes, may share the same fate, and that struggling America may at last be free, or, if enslaved, that she may disdain to be enslaved by her tyrannic parent, is the pious prayer of every virtuous Briton, and the most fervent wish of
P. S. Though his holiness the Pope, may probably order his children at Quebec to sing te deum upon your Lordship's late or future success against your fellow subjects in America, yet it may not be quite so prudent that it should be sung by the hypocritical choir at St. James's, by way of blinding people here, from whom the truth cannot long remain a secret:—Let me give your Lordship one more friendly hint before we part; do not disgrace your sovereign again, by suffering him to return public thanks by his Secretary at War, to his military cut throats in America, as he did to those who murdered his innocent subjects, for their foolish curiosity in St. George's Fields.—And now, my Lord, "To dinner—with what appetite you may."
Remarks on his Majesty's last most gracicious (I had like to have said infamous) Speech, to both Houses of Parliament.
NO Prince can be more astonished at the humble supplications of injured subjects than I am at the shameful negligence of Charles Eyre and William Strahan, Printers to the King's most excellent Majesty. I am sorry to say, that his Majesty's last speech is by far the fullest of typographical errors of any since the revolution. These errors will [Page 176]seem palpable and obvious to every reader, who is not ignorant of the present critical state of Great-Britain and America. The royal Printers are the less excusable for want of due attention, as a royal speech is no ordinary composition, it originates from Bute, is trimmed up by Mansfield, adopted by North, and pronounced by a royal orator; but as it is at last submitted to the inspection of the public, it must, like other human compositions, undergo the public censure.
Errata, Notes, and Queries.
"My entire Satisfaction in your conduct.]— Quere, Whether there is one honest man in England entirely satisfied with the conduct of Parliament except his Majesty.
"During the course of this important Session."] The epithet important recalls to my mind a passage in Addison's Cato—viz.
"The Rights of my Crown."]—Here is an unpardonable omission of the Printers,—after the word [the] insert the word [despotic] alluding to the late assent to illegal taxation, murder, famine, popery, &c.
"Authority of Parliament."] before the word [Authority] insert these words, [legal and constitutional.]
"You have protected and promoted the Commercial Interests of my Kingdoms."]—Namely, by stopping by every inhuman means, the former intercourse between England and America, by prohibiting, ruining, and losing, (perhaps for ever) an important fishery, with all its advantages to this [Page 177]kingdom, and to America in general; without which none of our West-India colonies, or their millions of slaves can possibly subsist, without which, many thousands of souls, on the continent of America, must perish.
N. B. This royal compliment to our most virtuous and incorrupt parliament, is intended as a second snub to the city of London, for their late astonishing petition. Here I detect the pen of the Lord Chief Justice of England.
"As far as the Constitution will allow you")— That is to say, as far as Bute and Mansfield's unconstitutional notions of the constitution will allow; according to them, it allows only of these two alternatives, tyranny or death; America may take her choice. Every remonstrance, petition, and supplication of America, has been spurn'd by King, Lords, and Commons, two conciliatory plans, upon Constitutional, free, just, and honourable principles, have been rejected in each House. The inhuman ministerial particides, should remember, however, that a conciliatory plan may be gladly embraced again by tyrants, when offered in the field, like the great one in Runny Mead, let them remember too, that upon the breaking out of a civil war, in this country, corruption will not be able to secure to them the bravest part, even of the standing army; not one of the constitutional militia, nor a single General, equal to those honourable men, who have already refused to bathe their swords in the blood of the spirited Americans. Above all, let these tyrants remember that the hearts of the people thoughout the whole English Empire are set against them—Blood will have blood, they say.
"Gratify the wishes"] For (the) read my.
[Page 178] "Remove the Apprehensions.) For (Apprehensions) read (pretensions) namely, to Liberty, Property, and Life.
"Of my Subjects in America] For Subjects, read (Objects)—i. e. Objects of indignation, revenge, and tyranny, &c. not of mercy or humanity.
The most salutary Effects.] For (Salutary) read (Sanguinary.)
"The late mark of your Affectionate attachment."] For Affectionate, read (affected.) This passage alludes to the grant of Somerset House to the King, to reimburse his provident and frugal Majesty, for his immense profusion of the public money; dissipated with the greatest taste, elegance, and patriotic pains, in the most costly puerile, superfluities of toys, baubles, nick-nacks, whimwams, &c. &c. in and about the Queen's palace. It looks like another palace of Semiramis. Hoc novum est Aucupium! Supplies under such pretences, and for such princely and meritorious purposes, is a new species of ministerial gullery, not to say impudence.
"I have great reason to expect the continuance of peace."] After the word (have) insert the word (no.)
"Nothing on my part consistent,] Instead of (consistent) read inconsistent.
"It gives me much concern."] after the word (me) insert the word (not)
"For the several Services of the current year"] Instead of (Services) read Devices.
"Discernment of their true interests"] Instead of (true) read (new) meaning the new and different interests from what their foolish ancestors had at the glorious revolution. As the crown and its [Page 179]ministers have new views, and new modes of government the people may well be supposed to have new interests, since that whiggish period, when the true interest of the King and people were so much mistaken by a set of wild enthusiasts called patriots. A name which Doctor Johnson, in his dictionary, says, is to be found in the dictionary only; the Doctor at that time little thought of writing an infamous pamplet under that name.
"My faithful and beloved people"] By this distinguishing and respectful epithet (faithful) must be meant the faithful majority of Lords and Commons. In the wheedling epithet (beloved) this majority is also certainly included. But the stiff-necked patriotic ministry, the plaintive city of London, the injured subjects in general, and the brave American in particular, (not forgetting their truly noble friend Lord Effingham) are most certainly excepted. As to the firm Americans, it is impossible that they should be comprised in these tender terms; because his Majesty is most graciously pleased to intimate, a little before that if his firm and steady parliament had not, with a firm and steady resolution, devoted that part of his Majesty's subjects to destruction, the rights of his crown, the authority of parliament, and the commercial interests of his kingdoms, could not be maintained, protected and promoted. The necessary inference from these words is, that nothing can maintain, protect, or promote, the true interests of the British empire, but popery, sword, and famine, I may add tyranny, and taxation. If the above sugared words ( faithful and beloved) are extended generally, they must be looked upon as springs to catch woodcocks, they remind me of that shrew'd reflection which Shakespear [Page 180]puts into the mouth of Hotspur, upon King Henry's sweet words, to that young Hero, whilst his Majesty was cajoling him (as he says) like a fawning greyhound, viz.
Q.—Whether this early prorogation is not as truly symtomatic of the Minister's fears, as the sudden dissolution was of the last infamous parliament? This early prorogation (by Mansfield's advice) shews, that after all the foul mouth'd, bullying, insolence of a tyrannic administration, they dare not protract the session of parliament any longer for fear of hearing news from America (which they could not conceal) during that session. This vacation, therefore, is artfully contrived to give breath to a confused, distracted, and trembling administration; at the opening of the next session of parliament, (if this vile administration lives so long) we may (under Bute and Mansfield's auspices) expect some curious state manoeuvre, ready cut and dryed. I will venture to prophesy with more certainty than Lord Sandwich, Lord Denbig, or any other ministerial bully in the gang, that we shall at last see, not a rational political gratification o [...] the wishes; but a pitiful, mean, contemptible, and dastardly submission, (by downright compulsion) to the just demands of America. I call upon my countrymen, to remember, that so insignificant an individual as Casca, now foretells that neither the present administration, nor, (as I fear) the present reign will end till they have supplied matter for a dreadful and most exemplary record in the British annals.