[Page] THE HISTORY OF TOM JONES, A FOUNDLING.

In THREE VOLUMES.

VOL. I.

By HENRY FIELDING, Esq

‘—Mores hominum multorum vidit—’

DUBLIN: Printed for JOHN SMITH at the Philosophers-Heads, on the Blind-Quay. M, DCC, XLIX.

To the HONOURABLE George Lyttleton, Esq One of the Lords Commissioners of the TREASURY.

SIR,

NOTWITHSTANDING your constant Re­fusal, when I have asked Leave to prefix your Name to this Dedication, I must-still insist on my Right to desire your Protection of this Work.

To you, Sir, it is owing that this History was ever began. It was by your Desire that I first thought of such a Composition. So many Years have since past, that you may have, perhaps, forgotten this Circumstance: But your Desires are to me in the Nature of Commands; and the Impression of them is never to be erased from my Memory.

Again, Sir, without your Assistance this History had never been completed. Be not [Page iv] startled at the Assertion. I do not intend to draw on you the Suspicion of being a Romance Writer. I mean no more than that I partly owe to you my Existance during great Part of the Time which I have employed in composing it: another Matter which it may be necessary to remind you of; since there are certain Actions of which you are apt to be extremely forget­ful; but of these I hope I shall always have a better Memory than yourself.

Lastly, it is owing to you that the History appears what it now is. If there be in this Work, as some have been pleased to say, a stronger Picture of a truly benevolent Mind than is to be found in any other, who that knows you, and a particular Acquaintance of yours, will doubt whence that Benevolence hath been copied? The World will not, I be­lieve, make me the Compliment of thinking I took it from myself. I care not: This they shall own, that the two Persons from whom I have taken it, that is to say, two of the best and worthiest Men in the World, are strongly and zealously my Friends. I might be con­tented with this, and yet my Vanity will add a third to the Number; and him one of the greatest and noblest, not only in his Rank, but in every public and private Virtue. But here whilst my Gratitude for the princely Benefac­tions of the Duke of Bedford bursts from my Heart, you must forgive my reminding you, [Page v] that it was vou who first recommended me to the Notice of my Benefactor.

And what are your Objections to the Allow­ance of the Honour which I have solicited? Why, you have commended the Book so warmly, that you should be ashamed of read­ing your Name before the Dedication. In­deed, Sir, if the Book itself doth not make you ashamed of your Commendations, nothing that I can here write will, or ought. I am not to give up my Right to your Protection and Pa­tronage, because you have commended my Book: For though I acknowledge so many Ob­ligations to you, I do not add this to the Num­ber; in which Friendship, I am convinced, hath so little Share: Since that can neither biass your Judgment, nor pervert your Integrity. An Enemy may at any Time obtain your Com­mendation by only deserving it; and the ut­most which the Faults of your Friends can hope for is your Silence; or, perhaps, if too severely accused, your gentle Palliation.

In short, Sir, I suspect, that your Dislike of public Praise is your true Objection to granting my Request. I have observed, that you have in common with my two other Friends, an Unwillingness to hear the least Mention of your own Virtues; that, as a great Poet says of one of you, (he might justly have said it of all three) you

Do Good by stealth, and blush to find it Fame.

[Page vi] If Men of this Disposition are as careful to shun Applause, as others are to escape Cen­sure, how just must be your Apprehension of your Character falling into my Hands; since what would not a Man have Reason to dread, if attacked by an Author who had received from him Injuries equal to my Obligations to you!

And will not this dread of Censure increase in Proportion to the Matter which a Man is conscious of having afforded for it? If his whole Life, for Instance, should have been one con­tinued Subject of Satire, he may well trem­ble when an incensed Satyrist takes him in Hand. Now, Sir, if we apply this to your modest Aversion to Panegyric, how reasona­bly will your Fears of me appear.

Yet surely you might have gratified my Ambition, from this single Consideration, that I shall always prefer the Indulgence of your Inclinations to the Satisfaction of my own. A very strong Instance of which I shall give you in this Address; in which I am deter­mined to follow the Example of all other Dedicators, and will consider not what my Patron really deserves to have written, but what he will be best pleased to read.

Without further Preface then, I here pre­sent you with the Labours of some Years of my Life. What Merit these Labours have is already known to yourself. If from your favourable Judgment, I have conceived [Page viii] some esteem for them, it cannot be imputed to Vanity; since I should have agreed as im­plicitly to your Opinion, had it been given in Favour of any other Man's Production. Ne­gatively, at least, I may be allowed to say, that had I been sensible of any great Demerit in the Work, you are the last Person to whose Protection I would have ventured to recom­mend it.

From the Name of my Patron, indeed, I hope my Reader will be convinced, at his ve­ry Entrance on this Work, that he will find in the whole Course of it nothing prejudicial to the Cause of Religion and Virtue; nothing inconsistent with the strictest Rules of Decen­cy, nor which can offend even the chastest Eye in the Perusal. On the contrary, I de­clare, that to recommend Goodness and In­nocence hath been my sincere Endeavour in this History. This honest Purpose you have been pleased to think I have attained: And to say the Truth, it is likeliest to be attained in Books of this Kind; for an Example is a Kind of Picture, in which Virtue becomes as it were an Object of Sight, and strikes us with an Idea of that Loviliness, which Plato asserts there is in her naked Charms.

Besides displaying that Beauty of Virtue which may attract the Admiration of Man­kind, I have attempted to engage a stronger Motive to Human Action in her Favour, by convincing Men, that their true Interest [Page viii] directs them to a pursuit of her. For this Purpose I have shewn, that no Acquisitions of Guilt can compensate the Loss of that so­lid inward Comfort of Mind, which is the sure Companion of Innocence and Virtue; nor can in the least balance the Evil of that Horror and Anxiety which, in their Room, Guilt introduces into our Bosoms. And a­gain, that as these Acquisitions are in them­selves generally worthless, so are the Means to attain them not only base and infamous, but at best incertain, and always full of Dan­ger. Lastly, I have endeavoured strongly to inculcate, that Virtue and Innocence can scarce ever be injured but by Indiscretion; and that it is this alone which often betrays them into the Snares that Deceit and Villainy spread for them. A Moral which I have the more industriously laboured, as the teaching it is, of all others, the likeliest to be attend­ed with Success; since, I believe, it is much easier to make good Men wise, than to make bad Men good.

For these Purposes I have employed all the Wit and Humour of which I am Master in the following History; wherein I have en­deavoured to laugh Mankind out of their fa­vourite Follies and Vices. How far I have succeeded in this good Attempt, I shall sub­mit to the candid Reader, with only two Requests: First, That he will not expect to find Perfection in this Work; and Secondly, [Page ix] That he will excuse some Parts of it, if they fall short of that little Merit which I hope may appear in others.

I will detain you, Sir, no longer. Indeed I have run into a Preface, while I professed to write a Dedication. But how can it be otherwise? I dare not praise you; and the on­ly Means I know of to avoid it, when you are in my Thoughts, are either to be entirely silent, or to turn my Thoughts to some other Subject.

Pardon, therefore, what I have said in this Epistle, not only without your Consent, but absolutely against it; and give me at least Leave, in this public Manner, to declare, that I am, with the highest Respect and Gra­titude,

SIR,
Your most Obliged, Obedient Humble Servant, Henry Fielding.

CONTENTS OF THE FIRST VOLUME.

BOOK I. Containing as much of the Birth of the Foundling as is neces­sary or proper to acquaint the Reader with in the Begin­ning of this History.
  • CHAP. I. The Introduction to the Work, or Bill of Fare to the Feast. p. 1
  • CHAP. II. A short Description of Squire Allworthy, and a fuller Account of Miss Bridget Allworthy his Sister. p. 4
  • CHAP. III. An odd Accident which befel Mr. Allwor­thy, at his Return home. The decent Behaviour of Mrs. Deborah Wilkins, with some proper Animadversions on Bastards. p. 7
  • CHAP. IV. The Reader's Neck brought into Danger by a Description, his Escape, and the great Condescension of Miss Bridget Allworthy. p. 11
  • CHAP. V. Containing a few common Matters, with a very uncommon Observation upon them. p. 15
  • CHAP. VI. Mrs. Deborah is introduced into the Pa­rish, with a Simile. A short Account of Jenny Jones, with the Difficulties and Discouragements which may at­tend young Women in the pursuit of Learning. p. 17
  • [Page xi] CHAP. VII. Containing such grave Matter, that the Reader cannot laugh once through the whole Chapter, un­less peradventure he should laugh at the Author. p. 22
  • CHAP. VIII. A Dialogue between Mesdames Bridget and Deborah; containing more Amusement, but less In­struction than the former. p. 28
  • CHAP. IX. Containing Matters which will surprize the Reader. p. 31
  • CHAP. X. The Hospitality of Allworthy; with a short Sketch of the Characters of two Brothers, a Doctor, and a Captain, who were entertained by that Gentleman. p. 34
  • CHAP. XI. Containing many Rules, and some Examples, concerning falling in love: Descriptions of Beauty, and other more prudential Inducements to Matrimony. p. 39
  • CHAP. XII. Containing what the Reader may perhaps expect to find in it. p. 45
  • CHAP. XIII. Which concludes the first Book, with an Instance of Ingratitude, which we hope will appear unna­tural. p. 49
BOOK II. Containing Scenes of matrimonial Felicity in different De­grees of Life; and various Transactions during the first two Years after the Marriage between Captain Blifil, and Miss Bridget Allworthy.
  • CHAP. I. Shewing what kind of a History this is; what it is like, and what it is not like. p. 53
  • CHAP. II. Religious Cautions against shewing too much Favour to Bastards; and a great Discovery made by Mrs. Deborah Wilkins. p. 56
  • CHAP. III. The Description of a domestic Government [Page xii] founded upon Rules directly contrary to those of Aristotle. p. 58
  • CHAP. IV. Containing one of the most bloody Battles, or rather Duels, that were ever recorded in Domestic Hi­story. p. 63
  • CHAP. V. Containing much Matter to exercise the Judgment and Reflection of the Reader. p. 69
  • CHAP. VI. The Trial of Partridge, the Schoolmaster, for Incontinency: the Evidence of his Wife; A short Re­flection on the Wisdom of our Law; with other grave Mat­ters, which those will like best who understand them most. p. 76
  • CHAP. VII. A short Sketch of that Felicity which pru­dent Couples may extract from Hatred; with a short Apo­logy for those People who overlook Imperfections in their Friends. p. 83
  • CHAP. VIII. A Receipt to regain the lost Affections of a Wife, which hath never been known to fail in the most desperate Cases. p. 88
  • CHAP. IX. A Proof of the Infallibity of the foregoing Receipt, in the Lamentations of the Widow; with other suitable Decorations of Death, such as Physicians, &c. and an Epitaph in the true Stile. p. 90
BOOK III. Containing the most memorable Transactions which passed in the Family of Mr. Allworthy, to the Time when Tommy Jones arrived at the Age of Nineteen. In this Book the Reader may pick up some Hints concerning the Education of Children.
  • CHAP. I. Containing little or nothing. p. 97
  • CHAP. II. The Heroe of this great History appears with very bad Omens. A little Tale, of so LOW a Kind, that some may think it not worth their Notice. A Word or two [Page xiii] concerning a Squire, and more relating to a Game-keeper and a Schoolmaster. p. 99
  • CHAP. III. The Character of Mr. Square the Philo­sopher, and Mr. Thwackum the Divine; with a Dispute concerning— p. 106
  • CHAP. IV. Containing a necessary Apology for the Au­thor; and a Childish Incident, which perhaps requires an Apology likewise. p. 109
  • CHAP. V. The Opinions of the Divine and the Philoso­pher concerning the two Boys; with some Reasons for their Opinions, and other Matters. p. 113
  • CHAP. VI. Containing a better Reason still for the be­fore-mentioned Opinions. p. 118
  • CHAP. VII. In which the Author himself makes his Appearance on the Stage. p. 123
  • CHAP. VIII. A childish Incident, in which, however, is seen a good-natured Disposition in Tom Jones. p. 125
  • CHAP. IX. Containing an Incident of a more heinous Kind, with the Comments of Thwackum and Square. p. 128
  • CHAP. X. In which Master Blifil and Jones appear in different Lights. p. 131
BOOK IV. Containing the Time of a Year.
  • CHAP. I. Containing four Pages of Paper. p. 135
  • CHAP. II. A short Hint of what we can do in the Sub­lime, and a Description of Miss Sophia Western. p. 139
  • CHAP. III. Wherein the History goes back to commemo­rate a trifling Incident that happened some Years since; but which, trifling as it was, had some future Consequences. p. 142
  • [Page xiv] CHAP. IV. Containing such very deep and grave Matters, that some Readers, perhaps, may not relish it. p. 146
  • CHAP. V. Containing Matters accommodated to every Taste. p. 150
  • CHAP. VI. An Apology for the Insensibility of Mr. Jones, to all the Charms of the lovely Sophia; in which possibly we may, in a considerable Degree, lower his Character in the Estimation of those Men of Wit and Gallantry, who ap­prove the Heroes in most of our modern Comedies. p. 157
  • CHAP. VII. Being the shortest Chapter in this Book. p. 162
  • CHAP. VIII. A Battle sung by the Muse in the Homerican Stile, and which none but the classical Reader can taste. p. 163
  • CHAP. IX. Containing Matters of no very peaceable Colour. p. 170
  • CHAP. X. A Story told by Mr. Supple, the Curate. The Penetration of Squire Western. His great Love for his Daughter, and the Reatrn to it made by her. p. 174
  • CHAP. XI. The narrow escape of Molly Seagrim, with some Observations for which we have been forced to dive pretty deep into Nature. p. 179
  • CHAP. XII. Containing much clearer. Matters; but which flow from the same Fountain with those in the pre­ceding Chapter. p. 185
  • CHAP. XIII. A dreadful Accident which befel Sophia. The gallant Behaviour of Jones, and the more dreadful Consequence of that Behaviour to the young Lady; with a short Digression in Favour of the Female Sex. p. 189
  • CHAP. XIV. The Arrival of a Surgeon. His Operati­ons, and a long Dialogue between Sophia and her Maid. p. 192
BOOK V. Containing a Portion of Time, somewhat longer than Half a Year.
  • CHAP. I. Of THE SERIOUS in writing; and for what Purpose it is introduced. p. 200
  • [Page xv] CHAP. II. In which Mr. Jones receives many friendly Visits during his Confinement; with some fine Touches of the Passion of Love, scarce visible to the naked Eye. p. 205
  • CHAP. III. Which all, who have no Heart, will think to contain much ado about nothing. p. 211
  • CHAP. IV. A little Chapter in which is contained a little Incident. p. 214
  • CHAP. V. A very long Chapter, containing a very great Incident. p. 218
  • CHAP. VI. By comparing which with the former, the Reader may possibly correct some Abuse which he hath for­merly been guilty of, in the Application of the Word LOVE. p. 227
  • CHAP. VII. In which Mr. Allworthy appears on a Sick-Bed. p. 235
  • CHAP. VIII. Containing Matter rather natural than pleasing. p. 241
  • CHAP. IX. Which, among other Things, may serve as a Comment on that Saying of Aeschines, that DRUNKEN­NESS SHEWS THE MIND OF A MAN, AS A MIRROUR REFLECTS HIS PERSON. p. 247
  • CHAP. X. Shewing the Truth of many Observations of Ovid, and of other more grave Writers, who have proved, beyond Contradiction, that Wine is often the Fore-runner of Incontinency. p. 253
  • CHAP. XI. In which a Simile in Mr. Pope's Period of a Milc, introduces as bloody a Battle as can possibly be fought, without the Assistance of Steel or cold Iron. p. 257
  • CHAP. XII. In which is seen a more moving Spectacle, than all the Blood in the Bodies of Thwackum and Bliffil, and of twenty other such, is capable of producing. p. 261
BOOK VI. Containing about three Weeks.
  • CHAP. I. Of Love. p. 268
  • CHAP. II. The Character of Mrs. Western. Her great Learning and Knowledge of the World, and an Instance of [Page xvi] the deep Penetretion which she derived from those Advan­tages. p. 272
  • CHAP. III. Containing two Defiances to the Critics. p. 279
  • CHAP. IV. Containing sundry curious Matters. p. 284
  • CHAP. V. In which is related what passed between Sophia and her Aunt. p. 287
  • CHAP. VI. Containing a Dialogue between Sophia and Mrs. Honour, which may a little relieve those tender Affections which the foregoing Scene may have raised in the Mind of a good-natur'd Reader. p. 292
  • CHAP. VII. A Picture of formal Courtship in Minia­ture, as it always ought to be drawn, and a Scene of a tenderer Kind, painted at full Length. p. 296
  • CHAP. VIII. The Meeting between Jones and Sophia. p. 301
  • CHAP. IX. Being of a much more tempestuous Kind than the former, p. 304
  • CHAP. X. In which Mr. Western Visits Mr. Allwor­thy. p. 310
  • CHAP. XI. A short Chapter; but which contains suffi­cient Matter to affect the good-natured Reader. p, 315
  • CHAP. XII. Containing Love Letters, &c. p. 318
  • CHAP. XIII. The Behaviour of Sophia on the present Occasion: which none of her Sex will blame, who are ca­pable of behaving in the same Manner. And the Discussi­on of a knotty Point in the Court of Conscience. p. 323
  • CHAP. XIV. A short Chapter, containing a short Dia­logue between Squire Western and his Sister. p, 328

[Page]THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING.

BOOK I.

Containing as much of the Birth of the Foundling as is necessary or proper to acquaint the Reader with in the Beginning of this History.

CHAP I.

The Introduction to the Work, or Bill of Fare to the Feast.

AN Author ought to consider himself, not as a Gentleman who gives a private or eleemosynary Treat, but rather as one who keeps a publick Ordinary, at which all Persons are welcome for their Money. In the former Case, it is well known, that the Entertain­er provides what Fare he pleases; and tho' this should be very indifferent, and utterly disagreeable to the Taste of his Company, they must not find any Fault; nay, on the contrary, Good-Breeding for­ces them outwardly to approve and to commend whatever is set before them. Now the contrary of this happens to the Master of an Ordinary. [Page 2] Men who pay for what they eat, will insist on gratifying their Palates, however nice and even whimsical these may prove; and if every Thing is not agreeable to their Taste, will challenge a Right to censure, to abuse, and to d—m their Dinner without controul.

To prevent therefore giving Offence to their Customers by any such Disappointment, it hath been usual, with the honest and well-meaning Host, to provide a Bill of Fare, which all Persons may peruse at their first Entrance into the House; and, having thence acquainted themselves with the Entertainment which they may expect, may ei­ther stay and regale with what is provided for them, or may depart to some other Ordinary bet­ter accommodated to their Taste.

As we do not disdain to borrow Wit or Wisdom from any Man who is capable of lending us either, we have condescended to take a Hint from these honest Victuallers, and shall prefix not only a ge­neral Bill of Fare to our whole Entertainment, but shall likewise give the Reader particular Bills to every Course which is to be served up in this and the ensuing Volumes.

The Provision then which we have here made is no other than HUMAN NATURE. Nor do I fear that my sensible Reader, though most luxurious in his Taste, will start, cavil, or be offended, because I have named but one Article. The Tortoise, as the Alderman of Bristol, well learned in eating, knows by much Experience, besides the delicious Calibash and Calipee, contains many different Kinds of Food; nor can the learned Reader be ignorant, that in Human Nature, tho' here collected under one general Name, is such prodigious Variety, that a Cook will have sooner gone through all the se­veral Species of animal and vegetable Food in the [Page 3] World, than an Author will be able to exhaust so extensive a Subject.

An Objection may perhaps be apprehended from the more delicate, that this Dish is too common and Vulgar; for what else is the Subject of all Ro­mances, Novels, Plays and Poems, with which the Stalls abound. Many exquisite Viands might be rejected by the Epicure, if it was a sufficient Cause for his contemning of them as common and vulgar, that something was to be found in the most paultry Alleys under the same Name. In reality, true Nature is as difficult to be met with in Au­thors, as the Bayonne Ham or Bologna Sausage is to be found in the Shops.

But the whole, to continue the same Metaphor, consists in the Cookery of the Author; for, as Mr. Pope tells us,

True Wit is Nature to Advantage drest,
What oft' was thought, but ne'er so well exprest.

The same Animal which hath the Honour to have some Part of his Flesh eaten at the Table of a Duke, may perhaps be degraded in another Part, and some of his Limbs gibbeted, as it were, in the vilest Stall in Town. Where then lies the Dif­ference between the Food of the Nobleman and the Porter, if both were at Dinner on the same Ox or Calf, but in the seasoning, the dressing, the gar­nishing, and the setting forth. Hence the one provokes and incites the most languid Appetite, and the other turns and palls that which is the sharpest and keenest.

In like manner, the Excellence of the men­tal Entertainment consists less in the Subject, than in the Author's Skill in dressing it up. How pleas­ed therefore will the Reader be to find, that we [Page 4] have, in the following Work, adhered closely to one of the highest Principles of the best Cook which the present Age, or perhaps that of Heliogabalus, hath produced. This great Man, as is well known to all polite Lovers of eating, begins at first by setting plain Things before his hungry Guests, ri­sing afterwards by Degrees, as their Stomachs may be supposed to decrease, to the very Quintes­sence of Sauce and Spices. In like manner, we shall represent Human Nature at first to the keen Appetite of our Reader, in that more plain and simple Manner in which it is found in the Country, and shall hereafter hash and ragoo it with all the high French and Italian Seasoning of Affectation and Vice which Courts and Cities afford. By these Means, we doubt not but our Reader may be ren­dered desirous to read on for ever, as the great Person, just abovementioned, is supposed to have made some Persons eat.

Having premised thus much, we will now de­tain those, who like our Bill of Fare, no longer from our Diet, and shall proceed directly to serve up the first Course of our History, for their En­tertainment.

CHAP. II.

A short Description of 'Squire Allworthy, and a fuller Account of Miss Bridget Allworthy his Sister.

IN that Part of the Western Division of this Kingdom, which is commonly called Somerset­shire, ther [...] lately lived (and perhaps lives still) a Gentleman whose Name was Allworthy, and who might well be called the Favourite of both Nature and Fortune; for both of these seem to have con­tended [Page 5] which should bless and enrich him most. In this Contention, Nature may seem to some to have come off victorious, as she bestowed on him many Gifts; while Fortune had only one Gift in her Power; but in pouring forth this, she was so very profuse, that others perhaps may think this single Endowment to have been more than equivalent to all the various Blessings which he enjoyed from Nature. From the former of these, he derived an agreeable Person, a sound Constitution, a solid Un­derstanding, and a benevolent Heart; by the lat­ter, he was decreed to the Inheritance of one of the largest Estates in the County.

This Gentleman had, in his Youth, married a very worthy and beautiful Woman, of whom he had been extremely fond: By her he had three Children, all of whom died in their Infancy. He had likewise had the Misfortune of burying this beloved Wife herself, about five Years before the Time in which this History chuses to set out. This Loss, however great, he bore like a Man of Sense and Constancy; tho' it must be confest, he would often talk a little whimsically on this Head: For he sometimes said, he looked on himself still as married, and considered his Wife as only gone a little before him, a Journey which he should most certainly, sooner or later, take after her; and that he had not the least Doubt of meeting her again, in a Place where he should never part with her more. Sen­timents for which his Sense was arraigned by one Part of his Neighbours, his Religion by a second, and his Sincerity by a third.

He now lived, for the most Part, retired in the Country, with one Sister, for whom he had a very tender Affection. This Lady was now somewhat past the Age of 30, an Aera, at which, in the Opi­nion of the malicious, the Title of Old Maid [Page 6] may, with no Impropriety, be assumed. She was of that Species of Women, whom you rather com­mend for good Qualities than Beauty, and who are generally called by their own Sex, very good Sort of Women—as good a Sort of Woman, Madam, as you would wish to know. Indeed she was so far from regretting Want of Beauty, that she never mention'd that Perfection (if it can be called one) without Contempt; and would often thank God she was not as handsome as Miss such a one, whom perhaps Beauty had led into Errors, which she might have otherwise avoided. Miss Bridget All­worthy (for that was the Name of this Lady) ve­ry rightly conceived the Charms of Person in a Woman to be no better than Snares for herself, as well as for others, and yet so discreet was she in her Conduct, that her Prudence was as much on the Guard, as if she had had all the Snares to ap­prehend which were ever laid for her whole Sex. Indeed, I have observed (tho' it may seem un­accountable to the Reader) that this Guard of Pru­dence, like the Trained Bands, is always readiest to go on Duty where there is the least Danger. It often basely and cowardly deserts those Paragons for whom the Men are all wishing, sighing, dy­ing, and spreading every Net in their Power; and constantly attends at the Heels of that higher Or­der of Women, for whom the other Sex have a more distant and awful Respect, and whom, (from Despair, I suppose, of Success) they never venture to attack.

Reader, I think proper, before we proceed any farther together, to acquaint thee, that I intend to digress, through this whole History, as often as I see Occasion: Of which I am myself a better Judge than any pitiful Critic whatever; and here I must desire all those Critics to mind their own [Page 7] Business, and not to intermeddle with Affairs, or Works, which no ways concern them: For, till they produce the Authority by which they are con­stituted Judges, I shall plead to their Jurisdiction.

CHAP. III.

An odd Accident which befel Mr. Allworthy, at his Return home. The decent Behaviour of Mrs. Deborah Wilkins, with some proper Animadver­sions on Bastards.

I Have told my Reader, in the preceding Chap­ter, that Mr. Allworthy inherited a large For­tune; that he had a good Heart, and no Family. Hence, doubtless, it will be concluded by many, that he lived like an honest Man, owed no one a Shilling, took nothing but what was his own, kept a good House, entertained his Neighbours with a hearty Welcome at his Table, and was charitable to the Poor, i. e. to those who had rather beg than work, by giving them the Offals from it; that he died immensely rich, and built an Hos­pital.

And true it is, that he did many of these Things; but, had he done nothing more, I should have left him to have recorded his own Merit on some fair Free-Stone over the Door of that Hospital. Mat­ters of a much more extraordinary Kind are to be the Subject of this History, or I should grossly mispend my Time in writing so voluminous a Work; and you, my sagacious Friend, might, with equal Profit and Pleasure, travel through some Pages, which certain droll Authors have been fa­cetiously pleased to call The History of England.

Mr. Allworthy had been absent a full Quarter of a Year in London, on some very particular Busi­ness, [Page 8] tho' I know not what it was; but judge of its Importance, by its having detained him so long from home, whence he had not been absent a Month at a Time during the Space of many Years. He came to his House very late in the Evening, and after a short Supper with his Sister, retired much fatigued to his Chamber. Here, having spent some Minutes on his Knees, a Custom which he never broke through on any Account, he was preparing to step into Bed, when, upon opening the Cloaths, to his great Surprize, he beheld an Infant, wrapt up in some coarse Linnen, in a sweet and profound Sleep, between his Sheets. He stood some Time lost in Astonishment at this Sight; but, as Good­nature was alway the Ascendant in his Mind, he soon began to be touched with Sentiments of Com­passion for the little Wretch before him. He then rang his Bell, and ordered an elderly Woman Ser­vant to rise immediately and come to him, and in the mean Time was so eager in contemplating the Beauty of Innocence, appearing in those lively Co­lours with which Infancy and Sleep always display it, that his Thoughts were too much engaged to reflect that he was in his Shirt, when the Matron came in. She had indeed given her Master sufficient Time to dress himself; for out of Respect to him, and Re­gard to Decency, she had spent many Minutes in adjusting her Hair at the Looking-glass, notwith­standing all the Hurry in which she had been sum­moned by the Servant, and tho' her Master, for ought she knew, lay expiring in an Apoplexy, or in some other Fit.

It will not be wondered at, that a Creature, who had so strict a Regard to Decency in her own Per­son, should be shocked at the least Deviation from it in another. She therefore no sooner opened [Page 9] the Door, and saw her Master standing by the Bed-side in his Shirt, with a Candle in his Hand, than she started back in a most terrible Fright, and might perhaps have swooned away, had he not now recollected his being undrest, and put an End to her Terrors, by desiring her to stay without the Door till he had thrown some Cloaths over his Back, and was become incapable of shocking the pure Eyes of Mrs. Deborah Wilkins, who, tho' in' the 52d Year of her Age, vowed she had never be­held a Man without his Coat. Sneerers and pro­phane Wits may perhaps laugh at her first Fright, yet my graver Reader, when he considers the Time of Night, the Summons from her Bed, and the Situation in which she found her Master, will high­ly justify and applaud her Conduct; unless the Prudence, which must be supposed to attend Mai­dens at that Period of Life at which Mrs. Deborah had arrived, should a little lessen his Admiration.

When Mrs. Deborah returned into the Room, and was acquainted by her Master with the finding the little Infant, her Consternation was rather greater than his had been; nor could she refrain from cry­ing out with great Horror of Accent as well as Look, 'My good Sir! what's to be done?" Mr. Allworthy answered, she must take care of the Child that Evening, and in the Morning he would give Orders to provide it a Nurse, 'Yes, Sir,' says she,' and I hope your Worship will send out your Warrant to take up the Hussy its Mother (for she must be one of the Neighbourhood) and I should be glad to see her committed to Bridewel, and whipt at the Cart's Tail. Indeed such wicked Sluts cannot be two severely punished. I'll war­rant 'tis not her first, by her Impudence in laying it to your Worship.' In laying it to me, Debo­rah,' answered Allworthy,' 'I can't think she [Page 10] hath any such Design. I suppose she hath only taken this Method to provide for her Child; and truly I am glad she hath not done worse,' I don't know what is worse,' cries Deborah, than for such wicked Strumpets to lay their Sins at honest Mens Doors; and though your Worship knows your own Innocence, yet the World is censorious; and it hath been many an honest Man's Hap to pass for the Father of Children he never begot; and if your Worship should provide for the Child, it may make the People the apter to believe: Besides, why should your Worship provide for what the Parish is obliged to maintain? For my own Part, if it was an honest Man's Child indeed; but for my own Part, it goes a­gainst me to touch those misbegotton Wretches, whom I don't look upon as my Fellow Creatures. Faugh, how it stinks! It doth not smell like a Christian. If I might be so bold to give my Ad­vice, I would have it put in a Basket, and sent out and laid at the Church-Warden's Door. It is a good Night, only a little rainy and windy; and if it was well wrapt up, and put in a warm Basket, it is two to one but it lives 'till it is found in the Morning. But if it should not, we have discharged our Duty in taking proper care of it; and it is, perhaps, better for such Creatures to die in a state of Innocence, than to grow up and imi­tate their Mothers; for nothing better can be ex­pected of them.'

There were some Strokes in this Speech which, perhaps, would have offended Mr. Allworthy, had he strictly attended to it; but he had now got one [...] of his Fingers into the Infant's Hand, which by its gentle Pressure, seeming to implore his Assistance, had certainly out-pleaded the Eloquence of Mrs. Deborah, had it been ten times greater than it was. [Page 11] He now gave Mrs. Deborah positive Orders to take the Child to her own Bed, and to call up a Maid­servant to provide it Pap and other things against it waked. He likewise ordered that proper Clothes should be procured for it early in the Morning, and that it should be brought to himself as soon as he was stirring.

Such was the Discernment of Mrs. Wilkins, and such the Respect she bore her Master, under whom she enjoyed a most excellent Place, that her Scruples gave way to his peremptory Commands; and she took the Child under her Arms, without any appa­rent Disgust at the Illegality of its Birth; and decla­ring it was a sweet little Infant, walked off with it to her own Chamber.

Allworthy here betook himself to those pleasing Slumbers, which a Heart that hungers after Goodness is apt to enjoy, when thoroughly satisfied. As these are possibly sweeter than what are occasioned by any other hearty Meal, I should take more Pains to dis­play them to the Reader, if I knew any Air to re­commend him to for the procuring such an Appetite.

CHAP. IV.

The Reader's Neck brought into Danger by a De­scription, his Escape and the great Condescention of Miss Bridget Allworthy.

THE Gothick Stile of Building could produce nothing nobler than Mr. Allworthy's House. There was an Air of Grandeur in it, that struck you with Awe, and rival'd the Beauties of the best Gre­cian Architecture; and it was as commodious within, as venerable without.

It stood on the South-east Side of a Hill, but near­er the Bottom than the Top of it, so as to be sheltered from the North-east by a Grove of old Oaks, which rose above it in a gradual Ascent of near half a Mile, [Page 12] and yet high enough to enjoy a most charming Pro­spect of the Valley beneath.

In the midst of the Grove was a fine Lawn sloping down towards the House, near the Summit of which rose a plentiful Spring, gushing out of a Rock cover­ed with Firs, and forming a constant Cascade of a­bout thirty Foot, not carried down a regular Flight of Steps, but tumbling in a natural Fall over the broken and mossy Stones, till it came to the bottom of the Rock; then running off in a pebly Channel, that with many lesser Falls winded along, till it fell into a Lake at the Foot of the Hill, about a quarter of a Mile below the House on the South Side, and which was seen from every Room in the Front. Out of this Lake, which filled the Center of a beau­tiful Plain, embellished with Groupes of Beeches and Elms, and fed with Sheep, issued a River, that for several Miles was seen to meander through an amaz­ing Variety of Meadows and Woods, till it emptied itself into the Sea, with a large Arm of which, and an Island beyond it, the prospect was closed.

On the right of this Valley opened another of less Extent, adorned with several Villages, and termina­ted by one of the Towers of an old ruined Abbey, grown over with Ivy, and Part of the Front which remained still entire.

The left Hand Scene presented the View of a fine Park, composed of very unequal Ground, and agree­ably varied with all the Diversity that Hills, Lawns, Wood and Water, laid out with admirable Taste, but owing less to Art than to Nature, could give. Beyond this the Country gradually rose into a Ridge of wild Mountains, the Tops of which were above the Clouds.

It was now the Middle of May, and the Morning was remarkably serene, when Mr. Allworthy walked forth on the Terrace, where the Dawn opened e­very Minute that lovely Prospect we have before de­scribed [Page 13] to his Eye. And now having sent forth Streams of Light, which ascended the blue Firmament before him as Harbingers preceding his Pomp, in the full Blaze of his Majesty, rose the Sun; than which one Object alone in this lower Creation could be more glorious, and that Mr. Allworthy himself pre­sented; a human Being replete with Benevolence, meditating in what manner he might render himself most acceptable to his Creator, by doing most good to his Creatures.

Reader, take care, I have unadvisedly led thee to the Top of as high a Hill as Mr. Allworthy's, and how to get thee down without breaking thy Neck, I do not well know. However, let us e'en venture to slide down together, for Miss Bridget rings her Bell, and Mr. Allworthy is summoned to Breakfast, where I must attend, and, if you please, shall be glad of your Company.

The usual Compliments having past between Mr. Allworthy and Miss Bridget, and the Tea being poured out, he summoned Mrs. Wilkins, and told his Sister he had a Present for her; for which she thanked him, imagining, I suppose, it had been a Gown or some Ornament for her Person. Indeed, he very often made her such Presents, and she in Complaisance to him spent much time in adorning herself. I say, in Complaisance to him, because she always exprest the greatest Contempt for Dress, and for those Ladies who made it their Study.

But if such was her Expectation, how was she dis­appointed, when Mrs. Wilkins, according to the Or­der she had receiv'd from her Master, produced the little Infant. Great Surprises, as hath been observed, are apt to be silent, and so was Miss Bridget, 'till her Brother began and told her the whole Story, which as the Reader knows already, we shall not repeat.

Miss Bridget had always exprest so great a regard for what the Ladies are pleased to call Virtue, and [Page 14] had herself maintained such a Severity of Character, that it was expected, especially by Wilkins, that she would have vented much Bitterness on this Occasion, and would have voted for sending the Child, as a kind of noxious Animal, immediately out of the House; but on the contrary, she rather took the good-natur'd side of the question, intimated some Compassion for the helpless little Creature, and com­mended her Brother's Charity in what he had done.

Perhaps the Reader may account for this Behaviour from her Condescension to Mr. Allworthy, when we have informed him, that the good Man had ended his Narrative with owning a Resolution to take care of the Child, and to breed him up as his own; for to ac­knowledge the Truth, she was always ready to ob­lige her Brother, and very seldom, if ever, contra­dicted his Sentiments; she would indeed sometimes make a few Observations, as, that Men were head­strong and must have their own way, and would wish she had been blest with an independent Fortune; but these were always vented in a low Voice, and at the most amounted only to what is called Muttering.

However, what she withheld from the Infant, she bestowed with the utmost Profuseness on the poor un­known Mother, whom she called an impudent Slut, a wanton Hussy, an audacious Harlot, a wicked Jade, a vile Strumpet, with every other Appellation with which the Tongue of Virtue never fails to lash those who bring a Disgrace on the Sex.

A Consultation was now entered into, how to proceed in order to discover the Mother. A Scrutiny was first made into the Characters of the female Ser­vants of the House, who were all acquitted by Mrs. Wilkins, and with apparent Merit; for she had col­lected them herself, and perhaps it would be difficult to find such another Set of Scare-crows.

The next Step was to examine among the Inha­bitants [Page 15] of the Parish; and this was referred to Mrs. Wilkins, who was to enquire with all imaginable Diligence, and to make her Report in the After­noon.

Matters being thus settled, Mr. Allworthy with­drew to his Study, as was his Custom, and left the Child to his Sister, who, at his Desire, had under­taken the Care of it.

CHAP. V.

Containing a few common Matters, with a very uncommon Observation upon them.

WHEN her Master departed, Mrs. Deborah stood silent, expecting her Cue from Miss Bridget; for as to what had past before her Master, the prudent House-keeper by no means relied upon it, as she had often known the Sentiments of the Lady in her Brother's Absence to differ greatly from those which she had expressed in his Presence. Miss Bridget did not, however suffer her to conti­nue long in this doubtful Situation; for having looked some time earnestly at the Child, as it lay asleep in the Lap of Mrs. Deborah, the good Lady could not forbear giving it a hearty Kiss, at the same time declaring herself wonderfully pleased with its Beauty and Innocence. Mrs. Deborah no sooner observed this, than she fell to squeezing and kissing with as great Raptures as sometimes inspire the sage Dame of forty and five towards a youthful and vigorous Bridegroom, crying out in a shrill Voice, 'O the dear little Creature, the dear, sweet, pret­ty Creature! well, I vow, it is as fine a Boy as ever was seen!'

These Exclamations continued 'till they were interrupted by the Lady, who now proceeded to [Page 16] execute the Commission given her by her Brother, and gave Orders for providing all Necessaries for the Child, appointing a very good Room in the House for his Nursery. Her Orders were indeed so liberal, that had it been a Child of her own, she could not have exceeded them; but lest the virtu­ous Reader may condemn her for shewing too great Regard to a base-born Infant, to which all Charity is condemned by Law as irreligious, we think pro­per to observe, that she concluded the whole with say­ing, 'Since it was her Brother's Whim to adopt the little Brat, she supposed little Master must be treated with great Tenderness; for her part, she could not help thinking it was an Encouragement to Vice; but that she knew too much of the Obsti­nacy of Mankind to oppose any of their ridiculous Humours.'

With Reflections of this nature, she usually, as hath been hinted, accompany'd every Act of Com­pliance with her Brother's Inclinations; and surely nothing could more contribute to heighten the Me­rit of this Compliance, than a Declaration that she knew at the same time the Folly and Unreasonable­ness of those Inclinations to which she submitted. Tacit Obedience implies no Force upon the Will, and consequently may be easily, and without any Pains preserved; but when a Wife, a Child, a Relation, or a Friend, performs what we desire, with Grumbling, and Reluctance, with Expressi­ons of Dislike and Dissatisfaction, the manifest Difficulty which they undergo, must greatly en­hance the Obligation.

As this is one of those deep Observations which very few Readers can be supposed capable of mak­ing themselves, I have thought proper to lend them my Assistance; but this is a Favour rarely to be ex­pected in the Course of my Work. Indeed I shall [Page 17] seldom or never so indulge him, unless in such In­stances as this, where nothing but the Inspiration with which we Writers are gifted, can possibly en­able any one to make the Discovery.

CHAP. VI.

Mrs. Deborah is introduced into the Parish, with a Simile. A short Account of Jenny Jones, with the Difficulties and Discouragements which may attend young Women in the Pursuit of Learning.

MRS. Deborah, having disposed of the Child according to the Will of her Master, now prepared to visit those Habitations which were sup­posed to conceal its Mother.

Not otherwise than when a Kite, tremendous Bird, is beheld by the feathered Generation soar­ing aloft, and hovering over their Heads, the amorous Dove, and every innocent little Bird spread wide the Alarm, and fly trembling to their Hiding-places. He proudly beats the Air, consci­ous of his Dignity, and meditates intended Mis­chief.

So when the Approach of Mrs. Deborah was proclaimed through the Street, all the Inhabitants ran trembling into their Houses, each Matron dread­ing lest the Visit should fall to her Lot. She with stately Steps proudly advances over the Field, aloft she bears her tow'ring Head, filled with Conceit of her own Pre-eminence, and Schemes to effect her intended Discovery.

The sagacious Reader will not, from this Si­mile, imagine these poor People had any Appre­hension of the Design with which Mrs. Wilkins was now coming towards them; but as the great Beau­ty of the Simile may possibly sleep these hundred [Page 18] Years, till some future Commentator shall take this Work in hand, I think proper to lend the Reader a little Assistance in this Place.

It is my Intention therefore to signify, that as it is the Nature of a Kite to devour little Birds, so is it the Nature of such Persons as Mrs. Wilkins, to insult and tyrannize over little People. This being indeed the Means which they use to recompense to themselves their extreme Servility and Condescen­sion to their Superiors; for nothing can be more reasonable, than that Slaves and Flatterers should exact the same Taxes on all below them, which they themselves pay to all above them.

Whenever Mrs. Deborah had had Occasion to exert any extraordinary Condescension to Mrs. Bridget, and by that means had a little sowered her natural Disposition, it was usual with her to walk forth among these People, in order to refine her Temper, by venting, and, as it were, purging off all ill Humours; on which Account, she was by no means a welcome Visitant; to say the Truth, she was universally hated and dreaded by them all.

On her Arrival in this Place, she went immedi­ately to the Habitation of an elderly Matron; to whom, as this Matron had the good Fortune to resemble herself in the Comeliness of her Person, as well as in her Age, she had generally been more favourable than to any of the rest. To this Woman she imparted what had happened, and the Design upon which she was come thither that Morning. These two began presently to scruti­nize the Characters of the several young Girls, who lived in any of those Houses, and at last fixed their strongest Suspicion on one Jenny Jones, who they both agreed was the likeliest Person to have com­mitted this Fact.

[Page 19] This Jenny Jones was no very comely Girl, ei­ther in her Face or Person; but Nature had some­what compensated the Want of Beauty with what is generally more esteemed by those Ladies, whose Judgment is arrived at Years of perfect Maturity; for she had given her a very uncommon Share of Understanding. This Gift Jenny had a good deal improved by Erudition. She had lived several Years a Servant with a Schoolmaster, who discover­ing a great Quickness of Parts in the Girl, and an extraordinary Desire of Learning, (for every leisure Hour she was always found reading in the Books of the Scholars) had the Good-nature, or Folly, which the Reader pleases to call it, to instruct her so far, that she obtained a very competent Skill in the Latin Language, and was perhaps as good a Scholar as most of the young Men of Quality of the Age. This Advantage, however, like most others of an extraordinary Kind, was attended with some small Inconveniencies: For as it is not to be wondered at, that a young Woman so well accom­plished should have lIttle Relish for the Society of those whom Fortune had made her Equals, but whom Education had rendered so much her Infe­riors; so is it Matter of no greater Astonishment, that this Superiority in Jenny, together with that Behaviour which is its certain Consequence, should produce among the others some little Envy and ill-will towards her; and these had perhaps secretly burnt in the Bosoms of her Neighbours, ever since her Return from her Service.

Their Envy did not however display itself openly, till poor Jenny, to the Surprize of every Body, and to the Vexation of all the young Women in these Parts, had publickly shone forth on a Sunday in a new Silk Gown, with a laced Cap, and other proper Appendages to these.

[Page 20] The Flame, which had before lain in Embrio, now burst forth. Jenny had, by her Learning, en­creased her own Pride, which none of her Neigh­bours were kind enough to feed with the Honour she seemed to demand; and now, instead of Re­spect and Adoration, she gained nothing but Ha­tred and Abuse, by her Finery. The whole Pa­rish declared she could not come honestly by such Things; and Parents, instead of wishing their Daughters the same, felicitated themselves that their Children had them not.

Hence perhaps it was, that the good Woman first mentioned the Name of this poor Girl to Mrs. Wilkins; but there was another Circumstance that confirmed the latter in her Suspicion: For Jenny had lately been often at Mr. Allworthy's House. She had officiated as Nurse to Miss Bridget, in a Violent Fit of Illness, and had sat up many Nights with that Lady; besides which, she had been seen there the very Day before Mr. Allworthy's Return, by Mrs. Wilkins herself, tho' that sagacious Person had not at first conceived any Suspicion of her on that Account: For, as she herself said, 'She had always esteemed Jenny as a very sober Girl, (tho' indeed she knew very little of her) and had rather suspected some of those wanton Trollops, who gave themselves Airs, because, forsooth, they thought themselves handsome.'

Jenny was now summoned to appear in Person be­fore Mrs. Deborah, which she immediately did. When Mrs. Deborah, putting on the Gravity of a Judge, with somewhat more than his Austerity, began an Oration with the Words 'You audacious Strum­pet,' in which she proceeded rather to pass Sen­tence on the Prisouer, than to accuse her.

Tho' Mrs. Deborah was fully satisfied of the Guilt of Jenny, for the Reason above shewn, it is [Page 21] possible Mr. Allworthy might have required some stronger Evidence to have convicted her; but she saved her Accusers any such Trouble, by freely confessing the whole Fact with which she was charged.

This Confession, tho' delivered rather in Terms of Contrition, as it appeared, did not at all molli­fy Mrs. Deborah, who now pronounced a second Judgment against her, in more opprobrious Lan­guage than before; nor had it any better Success with the By-standers, who were now grown very numerous. Many of them cried out, 'They thought what Madam's Silk Gown would end in;' others speak sarcastically of her Learning. Not a single Female was present, but found some Means of expressing her Abhorrence of poor Jenny; who bore all very patiently, except the Malice of one Woman, who reflected upon her Person, and tossing upon her Nose, said, 'The Man must have a good Stomach, who would give Silk Gowns for such Sort of Trumpery.' Jenny re­plied to this, with a Bitterness which might have surprized a judicious Person, who had observed the Tranquillity with which she bore all the Affronts to her Chastity; but her Patience was tired out: For this is a Virtue which is very apt to be fa­tigued by Exercise.

Mrs. Deborah, having succeeded beyond her hopes in her Enquiry, returned with much Triumph, and at the appointed Hour made a faithful Report to Mr. Allworthy, who was much surprized at the Relation; for he had heard of the extraordinary Parts and Improvements of this Girl, whom he intended to have given in Marriage, together with a small Living, to a neighbouring Curate. His Concern therefore upon this Occasion, was at least [Page 22] equal to the Satisfaction which appeared in Mrs. Deborah, and to many Readers may seem much more reasonable.

Mrs. Bridget blessed herself, and said, 'For her Part, she should never hereafter entertain a good Opinion of any Woman:' For Jenny had like­wise had the Happiness of being much in her good Graces.

The prudent Housekeeper was again dispatched to bring the unhappy Culprit before Mr. Allworthy, in order, not, as it was hoped by some and expected by all, to be sent to the House of Correction; but to receive wholesome Admonition and Reproof, which those who relish that kind of Instructive Writing, may peruse in the next Chapter.

CHAP. VII.

Containing such grave Matter, that the Reader can­not laugh once through the whole Chapter, unless peradventure he should laugh at the Author,

WHEN Jenny appeared, Mr. Allworthy took her into his Study, and spoke to her as follows.

'You know, Child, it is in my Power, as a Magistrate, to punish you very rigorously for what you have done; and you will perhaps be the more apt to fear I should execute that Pow­er, because you have, in a manner, laid your' Sins at my Door.

'But perhaps this is one Reason which hath determined me to act in a milder Manner with you: For, as no private Resentment should ever influence a Magistrate, I will be so far from con­sidering your having deposited the Infant in my House, as an Aggavation of your Offence, that [Page 23] I will suppose, in your Favour, this to have proceeded from a natural Affection to your Child; since you might have some Hopes to see it thus better provided for, than was in the Pow­er of yourself, or its wicked Father, to provide for it. I should indeed have been highly offend­ed with you, had you exposed the little Wretch in the manner of some inhuman Mothers, who seem no less to have abandoned their Humanity, than to have parted with their Chastity. It is the other Part of your Offence therefore upon which I intend to admonish you, I mean the Vi­olation of your Chastity. A Crime, however lightly treated it may be by debauched Persons, very heinous in itself, and very dreadful in its' Consequences.

'The heinous Nature of this Offence must be apparent to every Christian, inasmuch as it is committed in the Defiance of the Laws of our Religion, and of the express Commands of him' who founded that Religion.

'And here its Consequences may well be argued to be dreadful; for what can be more so, than to incur the divine Displeasure, by the Breach of the Divine Commands; and that in an Instance, against which the highest Vengeance is specifi­cally' denounced.

'But these Things, tho' too little, I am a­fraid, regarded, are so plain, that Mankind, how­ever they may want to be reminded, can never need Information on this Head. A Hint there­fore to awaken your Sense of this Matter shall suffice; for I would inspire you with Repentance,' and not drive you to Desperation.

'There are other Consequences, not indeed so dreadful or replete with Horror as this; and yet such, as if attentively considered, must, one [Page 23] would think, deter all, of your Sex at least, from' the Commission of this Crime.

'For by it you are rendered infamous, and dri­ven, like Lepers of old, out of Society; at least from the Society of all but wicked and repro­bate Persons; for no other will associate with you.

'If you have Fortunes, you are hereby rendered incapable of enjoying them; if you have none, you are disabled from acquiring any, nay almost of procuring your Sustenance; for no Persons of Character will receive you into their Houses. Thus you are often driven by Necessity itself into a State of Shame and Misery, which una­voidably ends in the Destruction of both Body' and Soul.

'Can any Pleasure compensate these Evils? Can any Temptation have Sophistry and Delusion strong enough to persuade you to so simple a Bargain? Or can any carnal Appetite so overpow­er your Reason, or so totally lay it asleep, as to prevent your flying with Affright and Terror from a Crime which carries such Punishment al­ways' with it.

'How base and mean must that Woman be, how void of that Dignity of Mind, and decent Pride, without which we are not worthy the Name of human Creatures, who can bear to level herself with the lowest Animal, and to sacrifice all that is great and noble in her, all her Heavenly Part, to an Appetite which she hath in common with the vilest Branch of the Creation! For no Wo­man sure, will plead the Passion of Love for an Excuse. This would be to own herself the meer Tool and Bubble of the Man. Love, however barbarously we may corrupt and pervert its mean­ing, as it is a laudable, is a rational Passion, and [Page 25] can never be violent, but when reciprocal; for though the Scripture bids us love our Enemies, it means not with that servent Love, which we naturally bear towards our Friends; much less that we should sacrifice to them our Lives, and what ought to be dearer to us, our Innocence. Now in what Light, but in that of an Enemy, can a reasonable Woman regard the Man, who solicits her to entail on herself all the Misery I have above described, and who would purchase to himself a short, trivial, contemptible Plea­sure, so greatly at her Expence! For by the Laws of Custom the whole Shame, with all its dreadful Consequences, falls entirely upon her. Can Love, which always seeks the good of its Object, attempt to betray a Woman into a Bar­gain, where she is so greatly to be the Loser? If such Corrupter, therefore, should have the Im­pudence to pretend to real Affection for her, ought not the Woman to regard him, not only as an Enemy, but as the worst of all Enemies; a false, designing, treacherous, pretended Friend, who intends not only to debauch her Body, but' her Understanding at the same Time?

Here Jenny expressing great Concern, Allwor­thy paused a Moment, and then proceeded: I have talked thus to you, Child, not to insult you for what is past, and irrevocable, but to cau­tion and strengthen you for the future. Nor should I have taken this Trouble, but from some Opinion of your good Sense, notwithstanding the dreadful Slip you have made; and from some Hopes of your hearty Repentance, which are founded on the Openness and Sincerity of your Confession.

If these do not deceive me, I will take care to convey you from this Scene of your Shame, where you shall, by being unknown, 'a­void [Page 26] the Punishment which, as I have said, is allotted to your Crime in this World, and I hope by Repentance, you will avoid the much heavier Sentence denounced against it in the o­ther. Be a good Girl the rest of your Days, and Want shall be no Motive to your going astray: And believe me, there is more Plea­sure, even in this World, in an innocent and' virtuous Life, than in one debauched and vicious.

'As to your Child, let no Thoughts concerning it, molest you; I will provide for it in a better manner than you can ever hope. And now no­thing remains, but that you inform me who was the wicked Man that seduced you; for my An­ger against him will be much greater than you have experienced upon this Occasion.'

Jenny now lifted her Eyes from the Ground, and with a modest Look, and decent Voice, thus began.

'To know you, Sir, and not love your Good­ness, would be an Argument of total want of Sense or Goodness in any one. In me it would amount to the highest Ingratitude, not to feel, in the most sensible manner, the great Degree of Goodness you have been pleased to exert on this Occasion. As to my Concern for what is past, I know you will spare my Blushes the Repetition. My future Conduct will much better declare my Sentiments, than any Professions I can now make. I beg leave to assure you, Sir, that I take your Advice much kinder, than your gene­rous Offer with which you concluded it. For as you are pleased to say, Sir, it is an Instance of your Opinion of my U understanding'—Here her Tears flowing apace, she stopped a few Mo­ments, and then proceeded thus, 'Indeed, Sir, your Kindness overcomes me; but I will en­deavour [Page 27] to deserve this good Opinion; for if I have the Understanding you are so kindly pleased to allow me, such Advice cannot be thrown a­way upon me. I thank you, Sir, heartily, for your intended Kindness to my poor helpless Child; he is innocent, and I hope will live to be grateful for all the Favours you shall shew him. But now, Sir, I must on my Knees intreat you, not to persist in asking me to declare the Father of my Infant. I promise you faithfully, you shall one Day know; but I am under the most solemn Ties and Engagements of Honour, as well as the most religious Vows and Pro­testations, to conceal his Name at this Time. And I know you too well to think you would de­sire I should sacrifice either my Honour or my Religion.'

Mr. Allworthy, whom the least Mention of these sacred Words was sufficient to stagger, hesitated a Moment before he replied, and then told her she had done wrong to enter into such Engagements to a Villain; but since she had, he could not insist on her breaking them. He said, it was not from a Motive of vain Curiosity he had enquired, but in order to punish the Fellow; at least, that he might not ignorantly confer Favours on the Un­deserving.

As to these Points, Jenny satisfied him by the most solemn Assurances, that the Man was entire­ly out of his Reach, and was neither subject to his Power, nor in any probability of becoming an Ob­ject of his Goodness.

The Ingenuity of this Behaviour, had gained Jenny so much Credit with this worthy Man, that he easily believed what she told him: For as she had disdained to excuse herself by a Lie, and had [...]azarded his farther Displeasure in her present Si­tuation, [Page 28] rather than she would forfeit her Honour, or Integrity, by betraying another, he had but lit­tle Apprehension that she would be guilty of Fals­hood towards himself.

He therefore dismissed her with Assurances, that he would very soon remove her out of the Reach of that Obloquy she had incurred, concluding with some additional Documents, in which he recom­mended Repentance, saying, "Consider, Child, 'there is one still to reconcile yourself to, whose Favour is of much greater Importance to you than mine.'

CHAP. VIII.

A Dialogue between Mesdames Bridget, and Debo­rah; containing more Amusement, but less In­struction than the former.

WHEN Mr. Allworthy had retired to his Stu­dy with Jenny Jones, as hath been seen, Mrs. Bridget, with the good Housekeeper, had be­taken themselves to a Post next adjoining to the said Study; whence, through the Conveyance of a Key­hole, they sucked in at their Ears the Instructive Lecture delivered by Mr. Allworthy, together with the Answers of Jenny, and indeed every other Par­ticular which passed in the last Chapter.

This Hole in her Brother's Study Door, was indeed as well known to Mrs. Bridget, and had been as frequently applied to by her, as the famous Hole in the Wall was by Thisbe of old. This served to many good Purposes. For by such Means Mrs. Bridget became often acquainted with her Brothers Inclinations, without giving him the Trouble of repeating them to her. It is true, some Inconveniencies attended this Intercourse, and she [Page 29] had sometimes Reason to cry out with Thisbe, in Shakespear, 'O wicked, wicked Wall!' For as Mr. Allworthy was a Justice of Peace, certain Things occured in Examinations concerning the Bastards, and such like, which are apt to give great Offence to the chaste Ears of Virgins, especially when they approach the Age of forty, as was the Case of Mrs. Bridget. However, she had, on such Occasions, the Advantage of concealing her Blushes from the Eyes of Men, and De non ap­parentibus, et non existentibus eadem est ratio. In English: ‘'When a Woman is not seen to blush, she doth not blush at all.'’

Both the good Women kept strict Silence dur­ring the whole Scene between Mr. Allworthy and the Girl; but as soon as it was ended, and that Gentleman was out of hearing, Mrs. Deborah could not help exclaiming against the Clemency of her Master, and especially against his suffering her to conceal the Father of the Child, which she swore she would have out of her before the Sun set.

At these words Mrs. Bridget discomposed her Features with a Smile; (a Thing very unusual to her) Not that I would have my Reader imagine, that this was one of those wanton Smiles, which Homer would have you conceive came from Venus, when he calls her the laughter-loving Goddess; nor was it one of those Smiles, which Lady Se­raphina shoots from the Stage-Box, and which Venus would quit her Immortality to be able to equal. No, this was rather one of those Smiles, which might be supposed to have come from the dimpled Cheecks of the august Tysiphone, or from one of the Misses her Sisters.

With such a Smile then, and with a Voice, sweet as the Evening Breeze of Boreas in the pleasant Month of November, Mrs. Bridget gent­ly [Page 30] reproved the Curiosity of Mrs. Deborah, a Vice with which it seems the latter was too much tainted, and which the former inveighed against with great Bitterness, adding, 'that among all her Faults, she thanked Heaven, her Enemies could not accuse her of prying into the Affairs of other People.'

She then proceeded to commend the Honour and Spirit with which Jenny had acted. She said, she could not help agreeing with her Brother, that there was some Merit in the Sincerity of her Confession, and in her Integrity to her Lover. That she had always thought her a very good Girl, and doubted not but she had been se­duced by some Rascal, who had been infinitely more to blame than herself, and very probably had prevailed with her by a Promise of Marriage, or some other treacherous Proceeding.

This Behaviour of Mrs. Bridget greatly sur­prized Mrs. Deborah; for this well-bred Woman seldom opened her Lips either to her Master or his Sister, 'till she had first sounded their Incli­nations, with which her Sentiments were always strictly consonant. Here, however, she thought she might have launched forth with Safety; and the sagacious Reader will not perhaps accuse her of want of sufficient Forecast in so doing, but will rather admire with what wonderful Celerity she tacked about, when she found herself steering a wrong Course.

'Nay Madam,' said this able Woman, and truly great Politician, 'I must own I cannot help admiring the Girl's Spirit, as well as your La­dyship. And, as your 'Ladyship says, if she was deceived by some wicked Man, the poor Wretch is to be pitied. And to be sure, as your Ladyship says, the Girl hath always appeared [Page 31] like a good, honest, plain Girl, and not vain of her Face, forsooth, as some wanton Husseys in' the Neighbourhood are.

'You say true, Deborah, said Mrs. Bridget, if the Girl had been one of those vain Trollops, of which we have too many in the Parish, I should have condemned my Brother for his Le­nity towards her. I saw two Farmers Daugh­ters at Church, the other Day, with bare Necks. I protest they shock'd me. If Wenches will hang out Lures for Fellows, it is no matter what they suffer. I detest such Creatures; and it would be much better for them, that their Faces had been seamed with the Small-Pox; but I must confess, I never saw any of this wan­ton Behaviour in poor Jenny; some artful Villain, I am convinced, hath betrayed, nay perhaps forc'd her; and I pity the poor Wretch with all my Heart.'

Mrs. Deborah approved all these Sentiments, and the Dialogue concluded with a general and bitter Invective against Beauty, and with many compassionate Considerations for all honest, plain Girls, who are deluded by the wicked Arts of deceitful Men.

CHAP. IX.

Containing Matters which will surprize the Reader.

JENNY returned home well pleased with the Reception she had met with from Mr. All­worthy, whose Indulgence to her she industrously made public; partly perhaps as a Sacrifice to her own Pride, and partly from the more prudent Motive of reconciling her Neighbours to her, and silencing their Clamours.

[Page 32] But though this latter View; if she indeed had it, may appear reasonable enough, yet the Event did not answer her Expectation; for when she was convened before the Justice, and it, was univers­ally apprehended, that the House of Correction would have been her Fate; tho' some of the young Women cry'd out, 'it was good e­nough for her,' and diverted themselves with the Thoughts of her beating Hemp in a Silk Gown; yet there were many others who began to pity her Condition: But when it was known in what man­ner Mr. Allworthy had behaved, the Tide turned against her. One said, ''I'll assure you, Madam hath had good Luck.' A second cry'd, 'See what it is to be a Favourite.' A third,' Ay, this comes of her Learning.' Every Person made some malicious Comment or other, on the Occa­sion; and reflected on the Partiality of the Justice.

The Behaviour of these People, may appear impolitic, and ungrateful to the Reader, who con­siders the Power, and the Benevolence of Mr. Allworthy: But as to his Power, he never used it; and as to his Benevolence, he exerted so much, that he had thereby disobliged all his Neighbours: For it is a Secret well known to great Men, that by conferring an Obligation, they do not always procure a Friend, but are certain of creating many Enemies.

Jenny was, however, by the Care and Goodness of Mr. Allworthy, soon removed out of the Reach of Reproach; when Malice, being no longer able to vent its Rage on her, began to seek another Object of its Bitterness, and this was no less than Mr. Allworthy himself; for a Whisper soon went abroad, that he himself was the Father of the foundling Child.

This Supposition so well reconciled his Conduct [Page 33] to the general Opinion, that it met with universal Assent; and the Outery against his Lenity soon be­gan to take another Turn, and was changed into an Invective against his Cruelty to the poor Girl. Very grave and good Women exclaimed against Men who begot Children and then disowned them. Nor were there wanting some, who, after the Departure of Jenny, insinuated, that she was spirit­ed away with a Design too black to be mentioned, and who gave frequent Hints, that a legal Inquiry ought to be made into the whole Matter, and that some People should be forced to produce the Girl.

These Calumnies might have probably produced ill Consequences (at the least might have occasioned some Trouble,) to a Person of a more doubtful and suspicious Character than Mr. Allworthy was blessed with; but in his Case they had no such Effect; and, being heartily despised by him, they served only to afford an innocent Amusement to the good Gos­sips of the Neighbourhood.

But as we cannot possibly divine what Com­plexion our Reader may be of, and as it will be some Time before he will hear any more of Jenny, we think proper to give him a very early Intimation, that Mr. Allworthy was, and will hereafter appear to be, absolutely innocent of any criminal Intention whatever. He had indeed committed no other than an Error in Politics, by tempering Justice with Mercy, and by refusing to gratify the good natured Disposition of the Mob, * with an Object for their Compassion to work on in the Person of poor Jen­ny, whom, in order to pity, they desired to have [Page 34] seen sacrificed to Ruin and Infamy by a shameful correction in Bridewel.

So far from complying with this their Inclination, by which all Hopes of Reformation would have been abolished, and even the Gate shut against her, if her own Inclinations should ever hereafter lead her to chuse the Road of Virtue, Mr. Allworhty ra­ther chose to encourage the Girl to return thither by the only possible Means; for too true I am a­fraid it is, that many Women have become aban­doned, and have sunk to the last Degree of Vice by being unable to retrieve the first Slip. This will be, I am afraid, always the Case while they remain among their former Acquaintance; it was there­fore wisely done by Mr. Allworthy, to remove Jenny to a Place where she might enjoy the Plea­sure of Reputation, after having tasted the ill Con­sequences of losing it.

To this Place therefore, wherever it was, we will wish her a good Journey, and for the present take leave of her, and of the little Foundling her Child, having Matters of much higher Importance to communicate to the Reader.

CHAP. X.

The Hospitality of Allworthy; with a short Sketch of the Characters of two Brothers, a Doctor, and a Captain, who were entertained by that Gentle­man.

NEITHER Mr. Allworthy's House, nor his Heart, were shut against any Part of Mankind, but they were both more particularly open to Men of Merit. To say the Truth, this was the only House in the Kingdom where you was sure to gain a Dinner by deserving it.

[Page 35] Above all others, Men of Genius and Learning shared the principal Place in his Favour; and in these he had much Discernment: For though he had missed the Advantage of a learned Education, yet being blest with vast natural Abilities, he had so well profited by a vigorous, though late Application to Letters, and by much Conversation with Men of Eminence in this Way, that he was himself a very competent Judge in most kind of Literature.

It is no Wonder that in an Age when this kind of Merit is so little in Fashion, and so slenderly provided for, that Persons possessed of it should ve­ry eagerly flock to a Place where they were sure of being received with great Complaisance; indeed where they might enjoy almost the same Advantages of a liberal Fortune as if they were entitled to it in their own Right; for Mr. Allworthy was not one of those generous Persons, who are ready most bountifully to bestow Meat, Drink, and Lodging on Men of Wit and Learning, for which they ex­pect no other Return but Entertainment, Instruc­tion, Flattery, and Subserviency; in a Word, that such Persons should be enrolled in the Number of Domestics, without wearing their Master's Cloaths, or receiving Wages.

On the contrary, every Person in this House was perfect Master of his own Time: and as he might at his Pleasure satisfy all his Appetites within the Restrictions only of Law, Virtue and Religion; so he might, if his Health required, or his Incli­nation prompted him to Temperance, or even to Abstinence, absent himself from any Meals, or re­tire from them whenever he was so disposed, with­out even a Solicitation to the contrary: For indeed such Solicitations from Superiors always favour ve­ry strongly of Commands. But all here were free from such Impertinence, not only those, whose [Page 36] Company is in all other Places esteemed a Favour from their Equality of Fortune, but even those whose indigent Circumstances make such an eleemo­synary Abode convenient to them, and who are therefore less welcome to a great Man's Table be­cause they stand in need of it.

Among others of this Kind was Dr. Blifil, a Gentleman who had the Misfortune of losing the Advantage of great Talents by the Obstinacy of a Father, who would breed him to a Profession he disliked. In Obedience to this Obstinacy the Doc­tor had in his Youth been obliged to study Physick, or rather to say he studied it; for in reality Books of this Kind were almost the only ones with which he was unacquainted; and unfortunately for him, the Doctor was Master of almost every other Science but that by which he was to get his Bread; the Consequence of which was, that the Doctor at the Age of Forty had no Bread to eat.

Such a Person as this was certain to find a Wel­come at Mr. Allworthy's Table, to whom Misfor­tunes were ever a Recommendation, when they were derived from the Folly or Villany of others, and not of the unfortunate Person himself. Besides this negative Merit, the Doctor had one positive Recommendation. This was a great Appearance of Religion. Whether his Religion was real, or consisted only in Appearance, I shall not presume to say, as I am not possessed of any Touch-stone, which can distinguish the true from the false.

If this Part of his Character pleased Mr. All­worthy, it delighted Miss Bridget. She engaged him in many religious Controversies; on which Occasions she constantly expressed great Satisfaction in the Doctor's Knowledge, and not much less in the Compliments which he frequently bestowed on her own. To say the Truth, she had read much [Page 37] English Divinity, and had puzzled more than one of the Neighbouring Curates. Indeed her Conver­sation was so pure, her Looks so sage, and her whole Deportment so grave and solemn, that she seemed to deserve the Name of Saint equally with her Name-sake, or with any other Female in the Ro­man Kalendar.

As Sympathies of all Kinds are apt to beget Love, so Experience teaches us that none have a more direct Tendency this Way than those of a religious Kind between Persons of different Sexes. The Doctor found himself so agreeable to Miss Bridget, that he now began to lament an unfor­tunate Accident which had happened to him aboutten Years before; namely, his Marriage with another Woman, who was not only still alive, but what was worse, known to be so by Mr. Allworthy. This was a fatal Bar to that Happiness which he otherwise saw sufficient Probability of obtaining with this young Lady; for as to criminal Indul­gences, he certainly never thought of them. This was owing either to his Religion, as is most pro­bable, or to the Purity of his Passion, which was fixed on those Things, which Matrimony only, and not criminal Correspondence, could put him in Possession of, or could give him any Title to.

He had not long ruminated on these Matters be­fore it recurred to his Memory that he had a Bro­ther who was under no such unhappy Incapacity. This Brother he made no doubt would succeed; for he discerned, as he thought, an Inclination to Marriage in the Lady; and the Reader perhaps, when he hears the Brother's Qualifications, will not blame the Confidence which he entertained of his Success.

This Gentleman was about 35 Years of Age. He was of a middle Size, and what is called well [Page 38] built. He had a Scar on his Forehead, which did not so much injure his Beauty, as it denoted his Valour (for he was a half-pay Officer.) He had good Teeth, and something affable, when he pleas­ed, in his Smile; though naturally his Countenance, as well as his Air and Voice, had much of Rough­ness in it, yet he could at any Time deposite this, and appear all Gentleness and good Humour. He was not ungenteel, nor entirely void of Wit, and in his Youth had abounded in Spriteliness, which, though he had lately put on a more serious Charac­ter, he could, when he pleased, resume.

He had, as well as the Doctor, an Academic Education; for his Father had, with the same Pa­ternal Authority we have mentioned before, de­creed him for holy Orders; but as the old Gentle­man died before he was ordained, he chose the Church Military, and preferred the King's Com­mission to the Bishop's.

He had purchased the Post of Lieutenant of Dra­goons, and afterwards came to be a Captain; but having quarrelled with his Colonel, was by his In­terest obliged to sell; from which Time he had entirely rusticated himself, had betaken himself to studying the Scriptures, and was not a little suspect­ed of an Inclination to Methodism.

It seemed therefore not unlikely that such a Per­son should succeed with a Lady of so Saint-like a Disposition, and whose Inclinations were no other­wise engaged than to the married State in general; but why the Doctor, who certainly had no great Friendship for his Brother, should for his Sake think of making so ill a Return to the Hospitality of All­worthy, is a Matter not so easy to be accounted for.

Is it that some Natures delight in Evil, as others are thought to delight in Virtue? Or is there a Pleasure in being accessary to a Theft when we cannot [Page 39] commit it ourselves? Or Lastly, (which Experience seems to make probably) have we a satisfaction in aggrandizing our Families, even tho' we have not the least Love or Respect for them?

Whether any of these Motives operated on the Doctor we will not determine; but so the Fact was. He sent for his Brother, and easily found Means to introduce him at Allworthy's as a Person who in­tended only a short Visit to himself.

The Captain had not been in the House a Week before the Doctor had Reason to felicitate himself on his Discernment. The Captain was indeed as great a Master of the Art of Love as Ovid was for­merly. He had besides received proper Hints from his Brother, which he failed not to improve to the best Advantage.

CHAP. XI.

Containing many Rules, and some Examples, con­cerning falling in love: Descriptions of Beauty, and other more prudential Inducements to Matri­mony.

IT hath been observed by wise Men or Women, I forget which, that all Persons are doomed to be in Love once in their Lives. No particular Season is, as I remember, assigned for this; but the Age at which Miss Bridget was arrived seems to me as proper a Period as any to be fixed on for this Purpose: It often indeed happens much earlier; but when it doth not, I have observed, it seldom or never fails about this Time. Moreover, we may remark that at this Season Love is of a more serious and steady Nature than what some times shews itself in the younger Parts of Life. The Love of Girls is uncertain, capricious, and [Page 40] so foolish that we cannot always discover what the young Lady would be at; nay, it may almost be doubted, whether she always knows this herself.

Now we are never at a Loss to discern this in Women about Forty; for as such grave, serious and experienced Ladies well know their own Meaning, so it is always very easy for a Man of the least Sa­gacity to discover this with the utmost Certainty.

Miss Bridget is an Example of all these Obser­vations. She had not been many Times in the Captain's Company before she was seized with this Passion. Nor did she go pining and moping about the House, like a puny foolish Girl, ignorant of her Distemper: She felt, she knew, and she en­joyed, the pleasing Sensation, of which, as she was certain it was not only innocent but laudable, she was neither afraid nor ashamed.

And to say the Truth, there is in all Points, great Difference between the reasonable Passion which Women at this Age conceive towards Men, and the idle and childish Liking of a Girl to a Boy, which is often fixed on the Outside only, and on Things of little Value and no Duration; as on Cherry Cheeks, small Lily-white Hands, slow-black Eyes, flowing Locks, downy Chins, dap­per Shapes, nay sometimes on Charms more worth­less than these, and less the Party's own; such are the outward Ornaments of the Person, and for which Men are beholden to the Taylor, the Lace­man, the Perriwigmaker, the Hatter, and the Mil­liner, and not to Nature. Such a Passion Girls may well be ashamed, as they generally are, to own either to themselves or to others.

The Love of Miss Bridget was of another Kind. The Captain owed nothing to any of these Fop­makers in his Dress, nor was his Person much more beholden to Nature. Both his Dress and [Page 41] Person were such as, had they appeared in an As­sembly, or a Drawing-room, would have been the Contempt and Ridicule of all the fine Ladies there. The former of these was indeed neat, but plain, coarse, ill-fancied, and out of Fashion. As for the latter, we have expressly described it above. So far was the Skin on his Cheeks from being Cherry-coloured, that you could not discern what the natural Colour of his Cheeks was, they being totally overgrown by a black Beard, which as­cended to his Eyes. His Shape and Limbs were indeed exactly proportioned, but so large, that they denoted the Strength rather of a Ploughman than any other. His Shoulders were broad, be­yond all Size, and the Calves of his Legs larger than those of a common Chairman. In short, his whole Person wanted all that Elegance and Beauty, which is the very reverse of clumsy Strength, and which so agreeably sets off most of our fine Gen­tlemen; being partly owing to the high Blood of their Ancestors, viz. Blood made of rich Sauces and generous Wines, and partly to an early Town Education.

Tho' Miss Bridget was a Woman of the great­est Delicacy of Taste; yet such were the Charms of the Captain's Conversation, that she totally overlooked the Defects of his Person. She ima­gined, and perhaps very wisely, that she should enjoy more agreeable Minutes with the Captain, than with a much prettier Fellow; and forewent the Consideration of pleasing her Eyes, in order to procure herself much more solid Satisfaction.

The Captain no sooner perceived the Passion of Miss Bridget, in which Discovery he was very quick-sighted, than he faithfully returned it. The Lady, no more than her Lover, was remarkable for Beauty. I would attempt to draw her Picture; [Page 42] but this is done already by a more able Master, Mr. Hogarth himself, to whom she sat many Years ago, and had been lately exhibited by that Gentle­man in his Print of a Winter's Morning, of which she was no improper Emblem, and may be seen walking (for walk she doth in the Print) to Co­vent-Garden Church, with a starved Foot-boy be­hind carrying her Prayer-book.

The Captain likewise very wisely preferred the more solid Enjoyments he expected with this La­dy, to the fleeting Charms of Person. He was one of those wise Men, who regard Beauty in the other Sex as a very worthless and superficial Qua­lification; or, to speak more truly, who rather chuse to possess every Convenience of Life with an ugly Woman, than a handsome one without any of those Conveniencies. And having a very good Appitite, and but little Nicety, he fancied he should play his Part very well at the matrimonial Banquet, without the Sauce of Beauty.

To deal plainly with the Reader, the Captain, ever since his Arrival, at least from the Moment his Brother had proposed the Match to him, long before he had discovered any flattering Symptoms in Miss Bridget, had been greatly enamoured; that is to say, of Mr. Allworthy's House and Gar­dens, and of his Lands, Tenements and Heredita­ments; of all which the Captain was so passionate­ly fond, that he would most probably have con­tracted Marriage with them, had he been obliged to have taken the Witch of Endor into the Bargain.

As Mr. Allworthy therefore had declared to the Doctor, that he never intended to take a second Wife, as his Sister was his nearest Relation, and as the Docter had fished out that his Intentions were to make any Child of hers his Heir, which indeed the Law, without his Interposition, would [Page 43] have done for him; the Doctor and his Brother thought it an Act of Benevolence to give Being to a human Creature, who would be so plentifully provided with the most essential Means of Hap­piness. The whole Thoughts therefore of both the Brothers, were how to engage the Affections of this amiable Lady.

But Fortune, who is a tender Parent, and often doth more for her favourite Offspring than either they deserve or wish, had been so industrious for the Captain, that whilst he was laying Schemes to excute his Purpose, the Lady conceived the same Desires with himself, and was on her Side contriving how to give the Captain proper En­couragement, without appearing too forward; for she was a strict Observer of all Rules of Decorum. In this, however, she easily succeeded; for as the Captain was always on the Look-out, no Glance, Gesture, or Word; escaped him.

The Satisfaction which the Captain received from the kind Behaviour of Miss Bridget, was not a little abated by his Apprehensions of Mr. Allworthy; for, notwithstanding his disinterested Professions, the Captain imagined he would, when he came to act, follow the Example of the rest of the World, and refuse his Consent to a Match, so disadvantageous in point of Interest, to his Sister. From what Oracle he received this Opi­nion, I shall leave the Reader to determine; but, however he came by it, it strangely perplexed him how to regulate his Conduct so, as at once to convey his Affection to the Lady, and to con­ceal it from her Brother. He, at length, resolved to take all private Opportunities of making his Addresses; but in the Presence of Mr. Allworthy to be as reserved, and as much upon his Guard [Page 44] as was possible; and this Conduct was highly ap­proved by the Brother.

He soon found Means to make his Addresses, in express Terms, to his Mistress, from whom he receiv'd an Answer in the proper Form; viz. The Answer which was first made some thousands of Years ago, and which hath been handed down by Tradition from Mother to Daughter ever since. If I was to translate this into Latin, I should ren­der it by these two Words, Nolo Episcopari; a Phrase likewise of immemorial Use on another Occasion.

The Captain, however he came by his Know­ledge, perfectly well understood the Lady; and very soon after repeated his Application with more Warmth and Earnestness than before, and was a­gain, according to due Form, rejected; but as he had encreased in the Eagerness of his Desires, so the Lady, with the same Propriety, decreased in the Violence of her Refusal.

Not to tire the Reader, by leading him through every Scene of this Courtship, (which, tho' in the Opinion of a certain great Author, it is the plea­santest Scene of Life to the Actor, is perhaps as dull and tiresome as any whatever to the Au­dience) the Captain made his Advances in Form, the Citadel was defended in Form, and at length, in proper Form, surrendered at Discretion.

During this whole Time, which filled the Space of near a Month, the Captain preserved great Distance of Behaviour to his Lady, in the Presence of the Brother, and the more he succeeded with her in private, the more reserved was he in public. And as for the Lady, she had no sooner secured her Lover, than she behaved to him before Com­pany with the highest Degree of Indifference; so that Mr. Allworthy must have had the Insight [Page 45] of the Devil (or perhaps some of his worse Qua­lities) to have entertained the least Suspicion of what was going forward.

CHAP. XII.

Containing what the Reader may perhaps expect to find in it.

IN all Bargains, whether to fight, or to Marry, or concerning any other such Business, little previous Ceremony is required, to bring the Matter to an Issue, when both Parties are really in earnest. This was the Case at present, and in less than a Month the Captain and his Lady were Man and Wife.

The great Concern now was to break the Mat­ter to Mr. Allworthy; and this was undertaken by the Doctor.

One Day then as Allworthy was walking in his Garden, the Doctor came to him, and with great Gravity of Aspect, and all the Concern which he could possibly affect in his Countenance, said, 'I am come, Sir, to impart an Affair to you of the utmost Consequence; but how shall I mention to you, what almost distracts me to think of!' He then launched forth into the most bitter Invec­tives both against Men and Women; accusing the former of having no Attachment but to their Interest, and the latter of being so addicted to vicious In­clinations, that they could never be safely trusted with one of the other Sex. 'Could I, said he, Sir, have suspected, that a Lady of such Prudence, such Judgment, such Learning, should indulge so indiscreet a Passion; or could I have imagined that my Brother—why do I call him so? He is no longer a Brother of mine.—'

[Page 46] 'Indeed but he is, said Allworthy, and a Bro­ther of mine too.'—Bless me, Sir, said the Doc­tor, do you know the shocking Affair?—Look'ee, Mr. Blifil, answered the good Man, it hath been my constant Maxim in Life, to make the best of all Matters which happen. My Sister, tho' many Years younger than me, is at least old enough to be at the Age of Discretion. Had he imposed on a Child, I should have been more averse to have forgiven him; but a Wo­man upwards of thirty must certainly be suppos­ed to know what will make her most happy. She hath married a Gentleman, tho' perhaps not quite her Equal in Fortune; and if he hath any Perfections in her Eye, which can make up that Deficiency, I see no Reason why I should object to her Choice of her own Happiness; which I, no more than herself, imagine to con­sist only in immense Wealth. I might, perhaps, from the many Declarations I have made, of com­plying with almost any Proposal, have expected to have been consulted on this Occasion; but these Matters are of a very delicate Nature, and the Scruples of Modesty perhaps are not to be over­come. As to your Brother, I have really no Anger against him at all. He hath no Obligations to me, nor do I think he was under any Necessity of asking my Consent, since the Woman is, as I have said, Sui Juris, and of a proper Age to be entirely answerable only to herself for her Con­duct.'

The Doctor repeated his Accusations against his Brother, accused Mr. Allworthy of too great Le­nity and declared that he should never more be brought either to see, or to own him for his Re­lation. He then launched forth into a Panegyric on Allworthy's Goodness, into the highest Enco­miums [Page 47] on his Friendship; and concluded, by say­ing, he should never forgive his Brother for hav­ing put the Place which he bore in that Friendship, to a hazard.

Allworthy thus answered: 'Had I conceived any Displeasure against your Brother, I should never have carried that Resentment to the Inno­cent: But, I assure you, I have no such Displea­sure. Your Brother appears to me to be a Man of Sense and Honour. I do not disapprove the Taste of my Sister; nor will I doubt but that she is equally the Object of his Inclinations. I have always thought Love the only Foundation of Happiness in a married State; as it can only produce that high and tender Friendship, which should always be the Cement of this Union; and, in my Opinion, all those Marriages which are contracted from other Motives, are greatly criminal; they are a Profanation of a most holy Ceremony, and generally end in Disquiet and Mi­sery: For surely we may call it a Profanation, to convert this most sacred Institution into a wick­ed sacrifice to Lust, or Avarice: And what bet­ter can be said of those Matches to which Men are induced merely by the Consideration of a' beautiful Person, or a great Fortune!

'To deny that Beauty is an agreeable Object to the Eye, and even worthy some Admiration, would be false and foolish. Beautiful is an Epi­thet often used in Scripture, and always mention­ed with Honour. It was my own Fortune to marry a Woman, whom the World thought handsome, and I can truly say, I liked her the bet­ter on that Account. But, to make this the sole Consideration of Marriage, to lust after it so vi­olently, as to overlook all Imperfections for its Sake, or to require it so absolutely as to reject and [Page 48] disdain Religion, Virtue, and Sense, which are Qualities, in their Nature, of much higher Per­fection, because an Elegance of Person only is wanting; this is surely inconsistent either with a wise Man, or a good Christian. And it is, perhaps, being too charitable to conclude that such Persons mean any thing more by their Marriage, than to please their carnal Appetites, for the Satis­faction' of which we are taught it was not ordained.

'In the next Place, with respect to Fortune. Worldly Prudence perhaps exacts some Consi­deration on this Head; nor will I absolutely and altogether condemn it. As the World is consti­tuted, the Demands of a married State, and the Care of Posterity, require some little Regard to what we call Circumstances. Yet this Provi­sion is greatly encreased beyond what is really necessary, by Folly and Vanity, which create abundantly more Wants than Nature. Equi­page for the Wife, and large Fortunes for the Children, are by Custom enrolled in the List of Necessaries; and, to procure these, every thing truly solid and sweet, and virtuous, and religious,' are neglected and overlooked.

'And this in many Degrees; the last and great­est of which seems scarce distinguishable from Madness. I mean, where Persons of immense Fortunes contract themselves to those who are, and must be, disagreeable to them; to Fools and Knaves, in order to encrease an Estate, already larger even than the Demands of their Pleasures. Surely such Persons, if they will not be thought mad, must own, either that they are incapable of tasting the sweets of the tenderest Friendship, or that they sacrifice the greatest Happiness of which they are capable to the vain, uncertain, and senseless [Page 49] Laws of vulgar Opinion, which owe as well their Force, as their Foundation, to Folly.'

Here Allworthy concluded his Sermon, to which Blifil had listened with the profoundest Attention, tho' it cost him some pains to prevent now and then a small Discomposure of his Muscles. He now praised every Period of what he had heard, with the warmth of a young Divine who hath the Ho­nour to dine with a Bishop the same Day in which his Lordship had mounted the Pulpit.

CHAP. XIII.

Which concludes the first Book, with an Instance of Ingratitude, which we hope will appear unnatural.

THE Reader, from what hath been said, may imagine that the Reconciliation (if indeed it could be so called) was only Matter of Form; we shall therefore pass it over, and hasten to what must surely be thought Matter of Substance.

The Doctor had acquainted his Brother with what had past between Mr. Allworthy and him; and added with a Smile. 'I promise you, I paid you off; nay, I absolutely desired the good Gentleman not to forgive you: For you know, after he had made a Declaration in your Favour, I might, with Safety, venture on such a Request with a Person of his Temper; and I was wil­ling, as well for your Sake as for my own, to prevent the least Possibility of a Suspicion.'

Captain Blifil took not the least Notice of this, at that Time; but he afterwards made a very notable Use of it.

One of the Maxims which the Devil, in a late Visit upon Earth, left to his Disciples, is, when once you are got up, to kick the Stool from under [Page 50] you. In plain English, when you have made your Fortune by the good Offices of a Friend, you are advised to discard him as soon you can.

Whether the Captain acted by this Maxim, I will not positively determine; so far we may confidently say, that his Actions may be fairly derived from this diabolical Principle; and indeed it is difficult to assign any other Motive to them: For no sooner was he possessed of Miss Bridget, and reconciled to Allworthy, than he began to shew a Coldness to his Brother, which encreased daily; till at length it grew into Rudeness, and became visible to every one.

The Doctor remonstrated to him privately con­cerning this Behaviour, but could obtain no other Satisfaction than the following plain Declaration: 'If you dislike any thing in my Brother's House, Sir, you know you are at Liberty to quit it.' This strange, cruel, and almost unaccountable In­gratitude in the Captain, absolutely broke the poor Doctor's Heart: For Ingratitude never so thorough­ly pierces the human Breast, as when it proceeds from those in whose Behalf we have been guilty of Transgressions. Reflections on great and good Actions, however they are received or returned by those in whose Favour they are performed, al­ways administer some Comfort to us; but what Consolation shall we receive under so biting a Ca­lamity as the ungratefull Behaviour of our Friend, when our wounded Conscience at the same Time flies in our Face, and upbraids us with having spotted it in the Service of one so worthless?

Mr. Allworthy himself spoke to the Captain in his Brother's Behalf, and desired to know what Offence the Doctor had committed; when the hard-hearted Villain had the Beseness to say, that he never should forgive him for the Injury [Page 51] which he had endeavoured to do him in his Favour; which, he said, he had pumped out of him, and was such a cruelty, that it ought not to be forgiven.

Allworthy spoke in very high Terms upon this Declaration, which, he said, became not a human Creature. He expressed, indeed, so much Resent­ment against an unforgiving Temper, that the Cap­tain at last pretended to be convinced by his Argu­ments, and outwardly professed to be reconciled.

As for the Bride, she was now in her Honey­moon, and so passionately fond of her new Hus­band, that he never appeared, to her, to be in the wrong; and his Displeasure against any Person, was a sufficient Reason for her Dislike to the same.

The Captain, at Mr. Allworthy's Instance, was outwardly, as we have said, reconciled to his Bro­ther, yet the same Rancour remained in his Heart; and he found so many Opportunities of giving him private Hints of this, that the House at last grew insupportable to the poor Doctor; and he chose rather to submit to any Inconveniencies which he might encounter in the World, than longer to bear these cruel and ungrateful Insults, from a Bro­ther for whom he had done so much.

He once intended to acquaint Allworthy with the whole; but he could not bring himself to submit to the Confession, by which he must take to his Share so great a Portion of Guilt. Besides, by how much the worse Man he represented his Brother to be, so much the greater would his own Offence appear to Mr. Allworthy, and so much the greater, had he Reason to imagine, would be his Resentment.

He feigned, therefore, some Excuse of Business for his Departure, and promised to return soon again; and took leave of his Brother with so well­dissembled Content, that, as the Captain played [Page 52] his Part to the same Perfection, Allworthy remain­ed well satisfied with the Truth of the Reconciliation.

The Doctor went directly to London, where he died soon of a broken Heart; a Distemper which kills more than is generally imagined, and would have a fair Title to a Place in the Bill of Mortality, did it not differ in one Instance from all other Diseases, viz. That no Physician can cure it.

Now, upon the most diligent Enquiry into the former Lives of these two Brothers, I find, besides the cursed and hellish Maxim of Policy above-men­tioned, another Reason for the Captain's Conduct: The Captain, besides what we have before said of him, was a Man of great Pride and Fierceness, and had always treated his Brother, who was of a dif­ferent Complexion, and greatly deficient in both these Qualities, with the utmost Air of Superiority. The Doctor, however, had much the larger Share of Learning, and was by many reputed to have the better Understanding. This the Captain knew, and could not bear. For, tho' Envy is at best a very malignant Passion, yet is its Bitterness greatly heightened by mixing with Contempt towards the same Object; and very much afraid I am, that whenever an Obligation is joined to these two, In­dignation, and not Gratitude, will be the Product of all three.

THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING.
BOOK II.

Containing Scenes of matrimonial Felicity in different Degrees of Life; and various other Transactions during the first two Years after the Marriage be­tween Captain Blifil, and Miss Bridget Allworthy.

CHAP I.

Shewing what Kind of a History this is; what it is like, and what it is not like.

THO' we have properly enough entitled this our Work, a History, and not a Life; nor an Apology for a Life, as is more in Fashion; yet we intend in it rather to pursue the Method of those Writers who profess to disclose the Revolutions of Countries, than to imitate the painful and volumi­nous Historian, who to preserve the Regularity of his Series thinks himself obliged to fill up as much Paper with the Detail of Months and Years in which nothing remarkable happened, as he employs upon those Aeras when the greatest Scenes have been transacted on the human Stage.

[Page 54] Such Histories as these do, in reality, very much resemble a News-Paper, which consists of just the same Number of Words, whether there be any News in it or not. They may likewise be com­pared to a Stage Coach, which performs constantly the same Course, empty as well as full. The Writer, indeed, seems to think himself obliged to keep even Pace with Time, whose Amanuensis he is; and, like his Master, travels as slowly through Centuries of monkish Dulness, when the World seems to have been asleep, as through that bright and busy Age so nobly distinguished by the excellent Latin Poet.

"Ad confligendum venientibus undique paenis;
"Omnia cum belli trepido concussa tumultu
"Horrida contremuere sub altis aetheris auris:
"In dubioque fuit sub utrorum regna cadendum
"Omnibus humanis esset, terraque marique."

Of which, we wish we could give our Reader a more adequate Translation than that by Mr. Creech.

"When dreadful Carthage frighted Rome with Arms,
"And all the World was shook with fierce Alarms;
"Whilst undecided yet, which Part should fall,
"Which Nation rise the glorious Lord of all.

Now it is our purpose in the ensuing Pages, to pursue a contrary Method. When any extraordinary Scene presents itself (as we trust will often be the Case) we shall spare no Pains nor Paper to open it at large to our Reader; but if whole Years should pass without producing any thing worthy his No­tice, we shall not be afraid of a Chasm in our His­tory; but shall hasten on to Matters of Consequence, [Page 55] and leave such Periods of Time totally unobserved.

These are indeed to be considered as Blanks in the grand Lottery of Time. We therefore who are the Registers of that Lottery, shall imitate those sagacious Persons who deal in that which is drawn at Guild-hall, and who never trouble the Public with the many Blanks they dispose of; but when a great Prize happens to be drawn, the News-Pa­pers are presently filled with it, and the World is sure to be informed at whose Office it was sold: Indeed commonly two or three different Offices lay claim to the Honour of having disposed of it; by which I suppose the Adventurers are given to under­stand that certain Brokers are in the Secrets of For­tune, and indeed of her Cabinet-Council.

My Reader then is not to be surprized, if in the Course of this Work, he shall find some Chapters very short, and others altogether as long; some that contain only the Time of a single Day, and others that comprise Years; in a word, if my His­tory sometimes seems to stand still, and sometimes to fly. For all which I shall not look on myself as accountable to any Court of Critical Jurisdiction whatever: For as I am, in reality, the Founder of a new Province of Writing, so I am at liberty to make what Laws I please therein. And these Laws, my Readers, whom I consider as my Sub­jects, are bound to believe in and to obey; with which that they may readily and chearfully comply, I do hereby assure them that I shall principally re­gard their Ease and Advantage in all such Instituti­ons: For I do not, like a jure divino Tyrant, ima­gine that they are my Slaves or my Commodity. I am, indeed, set over them for their own Good on­ly, and was created for their Use, and not they for mine. Nor do I doubt, while I make their Inte­rest the great Rule of my Writings, they will una­nimously [Page 56] concur in supporting my Dignity, and in rendering me all the Honour I shall deserve or desire.

CHAP. II.

Religious Cautions against shewing too much Favour to Bastards; and a great Discovery made by Mrs. Deborah Wilkins.

EIGHT Months after the Celebration of the Nuptials between Captain Blifil and Miss Bridget Allworthy, a young Lady of great Beauty, Merit, and Fortune, was Miss Bridget, by reason of a Fright, delivered of a fine Boy. The Child, was indeed, to all Appearance, perfect; but the Midwife discovered, it was born a Month before its full Time.

Tho' the Birth of an Heir of his beloved Sister was a Circumstance of great Joy to Mr. Allworthy, yet it did not alienate his Affections from the lit­tle Foundling, to whom he had been Godfather, had given his own Name of Thomas, and whom he had hitherto seldom failed of visiting at least once a Day, in his Nursery.

He told his Sister, if she pleased, the new-born Infant should be bred up together with little Tom­my, to which she consented, tho' with some little Reluctance: For she had truly a great Complai­sance for her Brother; and hence she had always behaved towards the Foundling with rather more Kindness than Ladies of rigid Virtue can some­times bring themselves to shew to these Children, who, however, innocent, may be truly called the living Monuments of Incontinence.

The Captain could not so easily bring himself to bear what he condemned as a Fault in Mr. Allwor­thy. [Page 57] He gave him frequent Hints, that to adopt the Fruits of Sin, was to give countenance to it. He quoted several Texts (for he was well read in Scripture) such as, He visits the Sins of the Fathers upon the Children; and, the Fathers have eaten sour Grapes, and the Children's Teeth are set on edge, &c. Whence he argued the Legality of pu­nishing the Crime of the Parent on the Bastard. He said, 'Tho' the Law did not positively allow the destroying such base-born Children, yet it held them to be the Children of no body; that the Church considered them as the Children of no bo­dy; and that at the best, they ought to be brought up to the lowest and vilest Offices of the Common­wealth.'

Mr. Allworthy answered to all this and much more which the Captain had urged on this Subject, 'That however guilty the Parents might be, the Children were certainly innocent. That as to the Texts he had quoted, the former of them was a particular denunciation against the Jews for the Sin of Idolatry, of relinquishing and hating their heavenly King; and the latter was parabo­lically spoken, and rather intended to denote the certain and necessary Consequences of Sin, than any express Judgment against it. But to repre­sent the Almighty as avenging the Sins of the Guilty on the Innocent, was indecent, if not blas­phemous, as it was to represent him acting against the first Principles of natural Justice, and against the original Notions of Right and Wrong, which he himself had implanted in our Minds; by which we were to judge not only in all Matters which were not revealed, but even of the Truth of Revelation itself. He said, he knew many held the same Principles with the Captain on this Head; but he was himself firmly convinced to the [Page 58] contrary, and would provide in the same Manner for this poor Infant, as if a legitimate Child had had the Fortune to have been found in the same Place.'

While the Captain was taking all Opportunities to press these and such like Arguments to remove the little Foundling from Mr. Allworthy's, of whose Fondness for him he began to be jealous, Mrs. Deborah had made a Discovery, which in its Event threatened at least to prove more fatal to poor Tommy, than all the Reasonings of the Captain.

Whether the insatiable Curiosity of this good Woman had carried her on to that Business, or, whether she did it to confirm herself in the good Graces of Mrs. Blifil, who, notwithstanding he outward Behaviour to the Foundling, frequently abused the Infant in private, and her Brother too for his Fondness to it, I will not determine; but she had now, as she conceived, fully detected the Father of the Foundling.

Now as this was a Discovery of great Consequence, it may be necessary to trace it from the Fountain-head. We shall therefore very minutel [...] lay open those previous Matters by which it was produced; and for that Purpose, we shall be obliged to reveal all the Secrets of a little Family, with which my Reader is at present entirely unacquainted and of which the Oeconomy was so rare and extraordinary, that I fear it will shock the utmost Credulity of many married Persons.

CHAP. III.

The Description of a domestic Government founder upon Rules directly contrary to those of Aristotle

MY Reader may please to remember he hath been informed that Jenny Jones had live some Years with a certain Schoolmaster, who [Page 59] had, at her earnest Desire, instructed her in Latin, in which, to do justice to her Genius, she had so improved herself, that she was become a better Scholar than her Master.

Indeed, tho' this poor Man had undertaken a Profession to which Learning must be allowed ne­cessary, this was the least of his Commendations. He was one of the best-natured Fellows in the World, and was at the same time Master of so much Pleasantry and Humour that he was reputed the Wit of the Country; and all the neighbouring Gentlemen were so desirous of his Company, that as denying was not his Talent, he spent much Time at their Houses, which he might with more Emolument have spent in his School.

It may be imagined, that a Gentleman so qua­lified, and so disposed, was in no danger of be­coming formidable to the learned Seminaries of Eton or Westminster. To speak plainly, his Scho­lars were divided into two Classes. In the up­per of which was a young Gentleman, the Son of a neighbouring 'Squire, who at the Age of Se­venteen was just entered into his Syntaxis; and in the lower was a second Son of the same Gentle­man, who, together with several Parish-boys, was learning to read and write.

The Stipend arising hence would hardly have indulged the Schoolmaster in the Luxuries of Life, had he not added to this Office those of Clerk and Barber, and had not Mr. Allworthy added to the whole an Annuity of Ten Pound, which the poor Man received every Christmas, and with which he was enabled to chear his Heart during that sacred Festival.

Among his other Treasures, the Pedagogue had a Wife whom he had married out of Mr. Allworthy's Kitchen, for her Fortune, viz. Twenty Pound, which she had there amassed.

[Page 60] This Woman was not very amiable in her Per­son. Whether she sat to my Friend Hogarth, or no, I will not determine; but she exactly resembled the young Woman who is pouring out her Mistress's Tea in the third Picture of the Harlot's Progress. She was besides a profest Follower of that notable Sect founded by Xantippe of old; by means of which, she became more formidable in the School than her Husband; for to confess the Truth, he was never Master there, or any where else, in her Presence.

Tho' her Countenance did not denote much na­tural Sweetness of Temper, yet this was perhaps somewhat soured by a Circumstance which gene­rally poisons matrimonial Felicity. For Children are rightly called the Pledges of Love; and her Husband, tho' they had been married nine Years, had given her no such Pledges; a Default for which he had no Excuse, either from Age or Health, being not yet thirty Years old, and, what they call a jolly, brisk, young Man.

Hence arose another Evil which produced no little Uneasiness to the poor Pedagogue, of whom she maintained so constant a Jealousy, that he durst hardly speak to one Woman in the Parish; for the least Degree of Civility, or even Correspondence with any Female, was sure to bring his Wife upon her Back, and his own.

In order to guard herself against matrimonial Injuries in her own House, as she kept one Maid Servant, she always took Care to chuse her out of that Order of Females, whose Faces are taken as a Kind of Security for their Virtue; of which Number Jenny Jones, as the Reader hath been be­fore informed, was one.

As the Face of this young Woman might be called pretty good Security of the before-mentioned [Page 61] Kind, and as her Behaviour had been always ex­tremely modest; which is the certain Consequence of Understanding in Woman; she had passed above four Years at Mr. Partridge's, (for that was the Schoolmaster's Name) without creating the least Suspicion in her Mistress. Nay, she had been treat­ed with uncommon Kindness, and her Mistress had permitted Mr. Partridge to give her those Instruc­tions, which have been before commemorated.

But it is with Jealousy, as with the Gout. When such Distempers are in the Blood, there is never any Security against their breaking out; and that often on the slightest Occasions, and when least suspected.

Thus it happened to Mrs. Partridge, who had submitted four Years to her Husband's teaching this young Woman, and had suffered her often to neglect her Work, in order to pursue her Learning. For passing by one Day, as the Girl, was reading, and her Master leaning over her, the Girl, I know not for what Reason, suddenly started up from her Chair; and this was the first Time that Suspicion ever entered into the Head of her Mistress.

This did not, however, at that Time, discover itself, but lay lurking in her Mind, like a concealed Enemy, who waits for a Reinforcement of addi­tional Strength, before he openly declares himself, and proceeds upon hostile Operations; and such additional Stength soon arrived to corroborate her Suspicion: For not long after, the Husband and Wife being at Dinner, the Master said to his Maid, Da mihi aliquid Potum; upon which the poor Girl smiled, perhaps at the Badness of the Latin, and when her Mistress cast her Eyes on her, blushed, possibly with a Consciousness of having laughed at her Master. Mrs. Partridge, upon this, immedi­ately fell into a Fury, and discharged the Trencher on which she was eating, at the Head of poor Jenny, [Page 62] crying out, 'You impudent Whore, do you play Tricks with my Husband before my Face?' and, at the same Instant, rose from her Chair, with a Knife in her Hand, with which, most probably, she would have executed very tragical Vengeance, had not the Girl taken the Advantage of being nearer the Door than her Mistress, and avoided her Fury, by running away; for, as to the poor Husband whether Surprize had rendered him motionless, or Fear (which is full as probable) had restrained him from venturing at any Opposition, he sat staring and trembling in his Chair; nor did he once offer to move or speak, till his Wife returning from the Pursuit of Jenny, made some defensive Measures necessary for his own Preservation; and he likewise was obliged to retreat, after the Example of the Maid.

This good Woman was, no more than Othello, of a Disposition,

—To make a Life of Jealousy,
And follow still the Changes of the Moon
With fresh Suspicions—

with her, as well as him;

—To be once in doubt
Was once to be resolved—

she therefore ordered Jenny immediately to pack up her Alls, and be gone; for that she was deter­mined she should not sleep that Night within her Walls.

Mr. Partridge had profited too much, by Expe­rience, to interpose in a Matter of this Nature. He therefore had Recourse to his usual Recipe of Pa­tience; for, tho' he was not a great Adept in Latin, he remembered and well understood the Advice contained in these Words:

—Leve fit, quod bene fertur Onus.

[Page 63] In English: 'A Burden becomes lightest, when it is well borne.'

Which he had always in his Mouth, and of which, to say the Truth, he had often Occasion to experi­ence the Truth.

Jenny offered to make Protestations of her In­nocence; but the Tempest was too high for her to be heard. She betook herself to the Business of Packing, for which a small Quantity of brown Pa­per sufficed; and, having received her small Pittance of Wages, she returned home.

The Schoolmaster and his Consort pass'd their Time unpleasantly enough that Evening; but some­thing or other happened before the next Morning, which a little abated the Fury of Mrs. Partridge; and she at length admitted her Husband to make his Excuse. To which she gave the readier Belief, as he had, instead of desiring her to recall Jenny, pro­fessed a Satisfaction in her being dismissed, saying, She was grown of little Use as a Servant, spending all her time in reading, and was become, moreover, very pert and obstinate: For indeed she and her Ma­ster had lately had frequent Disputes in Literature; in which, as hath been said, she was become greatly his Superior. This, however, he would by no means allow; and, as he called her persisting in the Right, Obstinacy, he began to hate her with no small Invetracy.

CHAP. IV.

Containing one of the most bloody Battles, or rather Duels, that were ever recorded in Domestic History.

FOR the Reasons mentioned in the preceding Chapter, and some other matrimonial Con­cessions, well known to most Husbands; and which, [Page 64] like the Secrets of Free Masonry, should be di­vulged to none who are not Members of that ho­nourable Fraternity, Mrs. Partridge was pretty well satisfied, that she had condemned her Hus­band without Cause, and endeavoured, by Acts of Kindness, to make him Amends for her false Suspi­cion. Her Passions were indeed, equally violent, which every Way they inclined: for, as she could be extremely angry, so could she be altogether as fond.

But tho' these Passions ordinarily succeeded each other, and scarce twenty-four Hours ever passed in which the Pedagogue was not, in some Degree, the Object of both; yet, on extraordinary Occa­sions, when the Passion of Anger had raged very high, the Remission was usually longer, and so was the Case at present; for she continued longer in a State of Affability, after this Fit of Jealousy was ended, than her Husband had ever known before: And had it not been for some little Exercises, which all the Followers of Xantip­pe are obliged to perform daily, Mr. Partridge would have enjoyed a perfect Serenity of several Months.

Perfect Calms at Sea are always suspected by the experienced Mariner to be the Forerunners of a Storm: And I know some Persons, who, with­out being generally the Devotees of Superstition, are apt to apprehend, that great and unusual Peace or Tranquillity, will be attended with its oppo­site: For which Reason the Antients used, on such Occasions, to sacrifice to the Goddess Nemesis; a Deity who was thought by them to look with an invidious Eye on human Felicity, and to have a peculiar Delight in overturning it.

As we are very far from believing in anysuch Hea­then Goddess, or from encouraging any Supersti­tion, so we wish Mr. John Fr—, or some other such Philosopher, would bestir himself a little, in order [Page 65] to find out the real Cause of this sudden Transition, from good to bad Fortune, which hath been so often remarked, and of which we shall proceed to give an Instance; for it is our Province to relate [...]acts, and we shall leave Causes to Persons of much higher Genius.

Mankind have always taken great Delight in know­ing and descanting on the Actions of others. Hence there have been, in all Ages, and Nations, certain, Places set apart for public Rendezvous, where the cu­rious might meet, and satisfy their mutual Curiosi­ty. Among these, the Barbers Shops have justly bore the Pre-eminence. Among the Greeks, Bar­bers News was a proverbial Expression, and Horace, in one of his Epistles, makes honourable Mention of the Roman Barbers in the same Light.

Those of England are known to be no wise in­ferior to their Greek or Roman Predecessors. You there see foreign Affairs discussed in a Manner little inferior to that with which they are handled in the Coffee-houses; and domestick Occurrences are much more largely and freely treated in the former, than in the latter. But this serves only for the Men. Now, whereas the Females of this Country, espe­cially those of the lower Order, do associate them­selves much more than those of other Nations, our Polity would be highly deficient, if they had not some Place set apart likewise for the Indulgence of their Curiosity, seeing they are in this no way inferior to the other half of the Species.

In enjoying, therefore, such Place of Rendez­vous, the British Fair ought to esteem themselves more happy than any of their foreign Sisters; as I do not remember either to have read in History, to have seen in my Travels, any thing of the [...]e Kind.

[Page 66] This Place then is no other than the Chandler's Shop; the known Seat of all the News; or, as it is vulgarly called, Gossiping, in every Parish in England.

Mrs. Partridge being one Day at this Assembly of Females, was asked by one of her Neighbours, if she had heard no News lately of Jenny Jones. To which she answered in the Negative. Upon this, the other replied, with a Smile, that the Pa­rish was very much obliged to her for having turned Jenny away as she did.

Mrs. Partridge, whose Jealousy, as the Reader well knows, was long since cured, and who had no other Quarrel to her Maid, answered boldly, She did not know any Obligation the Parish had to her on that Account, for she believed Jenny had scarce left her Equal behind her.

'No truly, said the Gossip, I hope not, tho'I fancy we have Sluts enow too.' 'Then you have not heard, it seems, that she hath been brought to bed of two Bastards; but as they are not born here, my Husband, and the other Overseer, says we shall not be obliged to keep them.'

'Two Bastards!' answered Mrs. Partridge hastily, 'you surprize me. I don't know whe­ther we must keep them; but I am sure they must have been begotten here, for the Wench hath not been nine Months gone away.'

Nothing can be so quick and sudden as the Ope­rations of the Mind, especially when Hope, or Fear; or Jealousy to which the two others are but Journeymen, set it to work. It occurred in­stantly to her, that Jenny had scarce ever been out of her own House, while she lived with her. The leaning over the Chair, the sudden starting up, the Latin, the Smile, and many other Things rushed upon her all at once. The Satisfaction her Hus­band [Page 67] expressed in the Departure of Jenny, appear­ed now to be only dissembled; again, in the same Instant to be real, and yet to confirm her Jealousy, as proceeding from Satiety, and a hundred other bad Causes. In a Word, she was convinced of her Husband's Guilt, and immediately left the As­sembly in Confusion.

As fair Grimalkin, who, though the youngest of the Feline Family, degenerates not in Ferosity from the elder Branches of her House, and, though, in­ferior in Strength, is equal in Fierceness to the no­ble Tyger himself, when a little Mouse, whom it hath long tormented in Sport, escapes from her Clutches for a while, frets, scolds, growls, swears; but if the Trunk, or Box, behind which the Mouse lay hid, be again removed, she flies like Lightning on her Prey, and with envenomed wrath, bites, scratches, mumbles and tears the little Animal.

Not with less Fury did Mrs. Partridge fly on the poor Pedagogue. Her Tongue, Teeth, and Hands, fell all upon him at once. His Wig was in an Instant torn from his Head, his Shirt from his Back, and from his Face descended five Streams of Blood, denoting the Number of Claws with which Nature had unhappily armed the Enemy.

Mr. Partridge acted for some Time on the de­fensive only; indeed he attempted only to guard his Face with his Hands; but as he found that his Antagonist abated nothing of her Rage, he thought she might, at least, endeavour to disarm her, or ra­ther to confine her Arms; in doing which, her Cap fell off in the Struggle, and her Hair being too short to reach her Shoulders, erected itself on her Head; her Stays likewise, which were laced through one single Hole at the Bottom, burst open, and her Breasts, which were much more redundant than her Hair, hung down below her middle; her [Page 68] Face was likewise marked with the Blood of her Husband; her Teeth gnashed with Rage; and Fire, such as sparkles from a Smith's Forge, darted from her Eyes. So that, altogether, this Amazo­nian Heroine might have been an Object of Ter­ror to a much bolder Man than Mr. Partridge.

He had at length, the good Fortune, by getting Possession of her Arms, to render those Weapons, which she wore at the Ends of her Fingers, useless; which she no sooner perceived, than the Softness o [...] her Sex prevailed over her Rage, and she presently dissolved in Tears, which soon after concluded i [...] a Fit.

That small Share of Sense which Mr. Partridge had hitherto preserved through this Scene of Fury of the Cause of which he was hitherto ignorant, now utterly abandoned him. He ran instantly into the Street, hollowing out, that his Wife was in the Agonies of Death, and beseeching the Neighbours to fly with the utmost Haste to her Assistance. Se­veral good Women obeyed his Summons, who entering his House, and applying the usual Reme­dies on such Occasions, Mrs. Partridge was, all length, to the great Joy of her Husband, brought to herself.

As soon as she had a little recollected her Spirits and somewhat composed herself with a Cordial, she began to inform the Company of the manifold Injuries she had received from her Husband; who, she said, was not content to injure her in her Bed; but, upon her upbraiding him with it, had treated her in the cruelest Manner imaginable; had tore her Cap and Hair from her Head, and her Stays from her Body, giving her, at the same Time, se­veral Blows, the Marks of which she should carry to the Grave.

[Page 69] The poor Man, who bore on his Face many [...]ore visible Marks of the Indignaion of his Wife, [...]od in silent Astonishment at this Accusation; which the Reader will, I believe, bear Witness for [...]m, had greatly exceeded the Truth; for indeed he had not struck her once; and this Silence being [...]terpreted to be a Confession of the Charge, by the whole Court, they all began at once, una voce, to [...]ebuke and revile him, repeating often, that none at a Coward ever struck a Woman.

Mr. Partridge bore all this patiently; but when is Wife appealed to the Blood on her Face, as an Evidence of his Barbarity, he could not help laying [...]laim to his own Blood, for so it really was: as [...]e thought it very unnatural, that this should rise up (as we are taught that of a murdered Person of­ten doth) in Vengeance against him.

To this the Women made no other Answer, man that it was Pity it had not come from his Heart, instead of his Face; all declaring, that if their Hus­bands should lift their Hands against them, they would have their Heart's Blood out of their Bodies.

After much Admonition for what was past, and much good Advice to Mr. Partridge for his future Behaviour, the Company, at length, departed, and oft the Husband and Wife to a personal Conference together, in which Mr. Partridge soon learned the Cause of all his Sufferings.

CHAP. V.

Containing much Matter to exercise the Judgment and Reflection of the Reader.

I Believe it is a true Observation, that few Secrets are divulged to one Person only; but certainly, would be next to a Miracle, that a Fact of this [Page 70] Kind should be known to a whole Parish, and no [...] transpire any farther.

And, indeed, a very few Days had past, before the Country, to use a common Phrase, rung of th [...] Schoolmaster of Little Baddington; who was sai [...] to have beaten his Wife in the most cruel Manner. Nay, in some Places, it was reported he had murdered her; in others, that he had broke her Arms in others, her Legs; in short, there was scarce [...] Injury which can be done to a human Creature, bu [...] what Mrs. Partridge was somewhere or other affirmed to have received from her Husband.

The Cause of this Quarrel was likewise variously reported; for, as some People said that Mrs. Partridge had caught her Husband in Bed with hi [...] Maid, so many other Reasons, of a very different Kind, went aboard. Nay, some transferred th [...] Guilt to the Wife, and the Jealousy to the Husband.

Mrs. Wilkins had long ago heard of this Quar­rel; but, as a different Cause from the true one had reached her Ears, she thought proper to conceal it and the rather, perhaps, as the Blame was univer­sally laid on Mr. Partridge; and his Wife, when she was Servant to Mr. Allworthy, had in something offended Mrs. Wilkins, who was not of a very forgiving Temper.

But Mrs. Wilkins, whose Eyes could see Objects at a Distance, and who could very well loo [...] forwards a few Years into Futurity, had perceive a strong Likelihood of Captain Blifil's being here after her Master; and, as she plainly discerned, tha [...] the Captain bore no great Good will to the little Foundling, she fancied it would be rendering him an agreeable Service, if she could make any Discoveries that might lessen the Affection which Mr. Allworthy seemed to have contracted for this Child and which gave visible Uneasiness to the Captain [Page 71] who could not entirely conceal it even before All­worthy himself; though his Wife, who acted her Part much better in public, frequently recom­mended to him her own Example, of conniving at [...]he Folly of her Brother, which, she said, she at [...]east as well perceived, and as much resented as any other possibly could.

Mrs. Wilkins having therefore, by Accident, got­ten a true Scent of the above Story, though long [...]fter it had happened, failed not to satisfy herself [...]horoughly of all the Particulars, and then acquaint­ed the Captain, that she had at last discovered the [...]rue Father of the little Bastard, which she was sor­ry, she said, to see her Master lose his Reputation in the Country, by taking so much Notice of.

The Captain chid her for the Conclusion of her Speech, as an improper Assurance in judging of her Master's Actions: For if his Honour, or his Under­standing, would have suffered the Captain to make [...]n Alliance with Mrs. Wilkins, his Pride would by no means have admitted it. And, to say the Truth, there is no Conduct less politic, than to enter into any Confederacy with your Friend's Ser­vants, against their Master. For, by these Means you afterwards become the Slave of these very Ser­vants; by whom you are constantly liable to be betrayed. And this Consideration, perhaps, it was which prevented Captain Blifil from being more explicite with Mrs. Wilkins; or from encouraging she Abuse which she had bestowed on Allworthy.

But though he declared no Satisfaction to Mrs. Wilkins at this Discovery, he enjoyed not a little from it in his own Mind, and resolved to make the best Use of it he was able.

He kept this Matter a long Time concealed with­in his own Breast, in Hopes that Mr. Allworthy might hear it from some other Person; but Mrs. [Page 72] Wilkins, whether she resented the Captain's Beha­viour, or whether his Cunning was beyond her, and she feared the Discovery might displease him, never afterwards opened her Lips about the Matter.

I have thought it somewhat strange, upon Reflec­tion, that the House-keeper never acquainted Mrs. Blifil with this News, as Women are more inclin­ed to communicate all Pieces of Intelligence to their own Sex, than to ours. The only Way, as it appears to me, of solving this Difficulty, is, by imputing it to that Distance which was now grown between the Lady and the House-keeper: Whether this arose from a Jealousy in Mrs. Blifil, that Wilkins shewed too great a Respect to the Foundling for while she was endeavouring to ruin the little In­fant, in order to ingratiate herself with the Captain she was every Day more and more commending i [...] before Allworthy, as his Fondness for it every Day encreased. This, notwithstanding all the Care she took at other Times to express the direct contrary to Mrs. Blifil, perhaps offended that delicate Lady who certainly now hated Mrs. Wilkins; and though she did not, or possibly could not, absolutely re­move her, from her Place, she found, however the Means of making her Life very uneasy. This Mrs. Wilkins, at length, so resented, that she very openly shewed all Manner of Respect and Fondness to little Tommy, in Opposition to Mrs. Blifil.

The Captain, therefore, finding the Story i [...] Danger of perishing, he at last took an Opportunity to reveal it himself.

He was one Day engaged with Mr. Allworthy in a Discourse on Charity; In which the Captain with great Learning, proved to Mr. Allworthy, that the Word Charity, in Scripture, no where means Beneficence, or Generosity.

'The Christian Religion, he said, was institu­ted [Page 73] for much nobler Purposes, than to enforce a Lesson which many Heathen Philosophers had taught us long before, and which, though it might, perhaps, be called a moral Virtue, favour­ed but little of that sublime Christian-like Dispo­sition, that vast Elevation of Thought, in Puri­ty approaching to angelic Perfection, to be attain­ed, expressed, and felt only by Grace. Those (he said) came nearer to the Scripture Meaning, who understood by it Candour, or the forming of a benevolent Opinion of our Brethren, and passing a favourable Judgment on their Actions; a Virtue much higher, and more extensive in its Nature, than a pitiful Distribution of Alms, which though we would never so much prejudice, or even ruin our Families, could never reach many; whereas Cha­rity, in the other and truer Sense, might be ex­tended to all Mankind.'

He said, 'Considering who the Disciples were, it would be absurd to conceive the Doctrine of Gene­rosity, or giving Alms, to have been preached to them. And, as we could not well imagine this Doctrine should be preached by its divine Author to Men who could not practise it, much less shall we think it understood so by those who can practise it, and do not.

'But though, continued he, there is, I am afraid, little Merit in these Benefactions; there would, I must confess, be much Pleasure in them to a good Mind, if it was not abated by one Consideration. I mean, that we are liable to be imposed upon, and to confer our choicest Favours often on the Undeser­ving, as you must own was your Case in your Boun­ty to that worthless Fellow Partridge: For two or three such Examples must greatly lessen the inward Satisfaction, which a good Man would otherwise find in Generosity; nay, may even make him timo­rous in bestowing, lest he should be guilty of sup­porting [Page 74] Vice, and encouraging the Wicked; a Crime of a very black Dye, and for which it will by no means be a sufficient Excuse, that we have not actually intended such an Encouragement; unless we have used the utmost Caution in chusing the Ob­jects of our Beneficence. A Consideration which, I make no Doubt, hath greatly checked the Libera­lity of many a worthy and pious Man.'

Mr. Allworthy answered, 'He could not dispute with the Captain in the Greek Language, and there­fore could say nothing as to the true Sense of the Word, which is translated Charity; but that he had always thought it was interpreted to consist in Ac­tion, and that giving Alms constituted at least one Branch of that Virtue.

'As to the meritorious Part, he said, he readily a­greed with the Captain; for where could be the Merit of barely discharging a Duty; which he said, let the Word Charity have what Construction it would, it sufficiently appeared to be from the whole Tenor of the New Testament. And as he thought it an indispensable Duty, enjoined both by the Christian Law, and by the Law of Nature itself; so was it withal so pleasant, that if any Duty could be said to be its own Reward, or to pay us while we were discharging it, it was this.

'To confess the Truth, said he, there is one De­gree of Generosity, (of Charity I would have called it) which seems to have some Shew of Merit, and that is, where from a Principle of Benevolence, and Christian Love, we bestow on another what we really want ourselves; where, in order to lessen the Distresses of another, we condescend to share some Part of them, by giving what even our own Necessities cannot well spare. This is I think, meritorious; but to relieve our Brethren only with our Superfluities; to be charitable (I must use the Word) rather at the Expence of our Coffers than [Page 75] ourselves; to save several Families from Misery ra­ther than hang an extraordinary Picture in our Houses, or gratify any other idle, ridiculous Vanity, this seems to be only being Christians, nay indeed, only being human Creatures. Nay, I will venture to go farther, it is being in some degree Epicures: For what could the greatest Epicure wish rather than to eat with many Mouths instead of one; which I think may be predicated of any one who knows that the Bread of many is owing to his own Largesses.

'As to the Apprehension of bestowing Bounty on such as may hereafter prove unworthy Objects, be­cause many have proved such; surely it can never deter a good Man from Generosity: I do not think a few or many Examples of Ingratitude can justify a Man's hardening his Heart against the Distresses of his Fellow Creatures; nor do I believe it can ever have such Effect on a truely benevolent Mind. No­thing less than a Persuasion of universal Depravity can lock up the Charity of a good Man; and this Persuasion must lead him, I think, either into Atheism, or Enthusiasm; but surely it is unfair to argue such universal Depravity from a few vicious Individuals; nor was this, I believe, ever done by a Man, who upon searching his own Mind found one certain Exception to the general Rule. He then concluded by asking who that Partridge was whom he had called a worthless Fellow.'

'I mean, said the Captain, Partridge, the Bar­ber, the Schoolmaster, what do you call him? Partridge, the Father of the little Child which you found in your Bed.'

Mr. Allworthy exprest great Surprize at this Account, and the Captain as great at his Ignorance of it: For he said, he had known it above a Month, and at length recollected with much Difficulty that he was told it by Mrs. Wilkins.

Upon this, Wilkins was immediately summoned, [Page 76] who having confirmed what the Captain had said, was by Mr. Allworthy, by and with the Captain's Advice, dispatched to Little Baddington to inform herself of the Truth of the Fact: For the Captain exprest great Dislike to all hasty Proceedings in criminal Matters, and said he would by no means have Mr. Allworthy take any Resolution either to the Prejudice of the Child or its Father, before he was satisfied that the latter was guilty: For tho' he had privately satisfied himself of this from one of Partridge's Neighbours, yet he was too generous to give any such Evidence to Mr. Allworthy.

CHAP. VI.

The Trial of Partridge, the Schoolmaster, for Inconti­nency; The Evidence of his Wife; A short Reflec­tion on the Wisdom of our Law; with other grave Matters, which those will like best who understand them most.

IT may be wondered that a Story so well known, and which had furnished so much matter of Con­versation, should never have been mentioned to Mr. Allworthy himself, who was perhaps the only Person in that Country who had never heard of it.

To account in some measure for this to the Rea­der, I think proper to inform him that there was no one in the Kingdom less interested in opposing that Doctrine concerning the meaning of the Word Cha­rity, which hath been seen in the preceding Chapter, than our good Man. Indeed, he was equally intitled to this Virtue in either Sense: For as no Man was ever more sensible of the Wants, or more ready to relieve the Distresses of others, so none could be more tender of their Characters, or slower to believe any thing to their Disadvantage.

Scandal, therefore, never found any Access to his Table: For it hath been long since observed that you [Page 77] may know a Man by his Companions; so I will ven­ture to say, that by attending to the Conversation at a great Man's Table, you may satisfy yourself of his Religion, his Politics, his Taste, and indeed of his entire Disposition: For tho' a few odd Fellows will utter their own Sentiments in all Places, yet much the greater Part of Mankind have enough of the Cour­tier to accommodate their Conversation to the Taste and Inclination of their Superiors.

But to return to Mrs. Wilkins, who having exe­cuted her Commission with great Dispatch, tho' at fifteen Miles Distance, brought back, such a Con­firmation of the Schoolmaster's Guilt, that Mr. All­worthy determined to send for the Criminal, and ex­amine him viva voce. Mr. Partridge, therefore, was summoned to attend, in order to his Defence (if he could make any) against this Accusation.

At the Time appointed, before Mr. Allworthy himself, at Paradise-Hall, came as well the said Par­tridge, with Anne his Wife, as Mrs. Wilkins, his Accuser.

And now Mr. Allworthy being seated in the Chair of Justice, Mr. Partridge was brought before him. Having heard his Accusation from the Mouth of Mrs. Wilkins, he pleaded not guilty, making many vehe­ment Protestations of his Innocence.

Mrs. Partridge was then examined, who, after a modest Apology for being obliged to speak the Truth against her Husband, related all the Circumstances with which the Reader hath already been acquainted; and at last concluded with her Husband's Confession of his Guilt.

Whether she had forgiven him or no, I will not venture to determine: But it is certain, she was an unwilling Witness in this Cause, and it is probable, from certain other Reasons would never have been brought to depose as she did, had not Mrs. Wilkins, with great Art, fished all out of her, at her own [Page 78] House, and had she not indeed made Promises in Mr. Allworthy's Name, that the Punishment of her Husband should not be such as might any wise affect his Family.

Partridge still persisted in asserting his Innocence, tho' he admitted he had made the above mentioned Confession; which he however endeavoured to ac­count for, by protesting that he was forced into it by the continued Importunity she used, who vowed, that as she was sure of his Guilt, she would never leave tormenting him till he owned it, and faithfully promised, that in such Case, she would never mention it to him more. Hence, he said, he had been induced falsely to confess himself guilty, tho' he was innocent; and that he believed he should have confest a Murder from the same Motive.

Mrs. Partridge could not bear this Impudence with Patience; and having no other Remedy, in the pre­sent Place but Tears, she called forth a plentiful As­sistance from them, and then addressing herself to Mr. Allworthy, she said, (or rather cried) 'May it please your Worship, there never was any poor Woman so injured as I am by that base Man: For this is not the only Instance of his Falshood to me. No, may it please your Worship, he hath injured my Bed many's the good time and often. I could have put up with his Drunkenness and neglect of his Busi­ness if he had not broke one of the sacred Command­ments. Besides, if it had been out of Doors I had not mattered it so much; but with my own Ser­vant, in my own House, under my own Roof; to defile my own chaste Bed, which to be sure he hath with his beastly stinking Whores. Yes, you Vil­lain, you have defiled my own Bed, you have; and then you have charged me with bullocking you into owning the Truth. It is very likely, an't please your Worship, that I should bullock him.—I have Marks enow about my Body to shew of his [Page 79] Cruelty to me. If you had been a Man, you Villain, you would have scorned to injure a Woman in that Manner. But you an't half a Man, you know it.—Nor have you been half a Husband to me. You need run after Whores, you need, when I'm sure—And since he provokes me, I am ready an't please your Worship, to take my bodily Oath, that I found them a-bed together. What, you have forgot, I sup­pose when you beat me into a Fit, and made the Blood run down my Forehead, because I only civil­ly taxed you with your Adultery! but I can prove it by all my Neighbours. You have almost broke my Heart, you, have, you have.'

Here Mr. Allworthy interrupted, and begged her to be pacified, promising her that she should have Jus­tice; then turning to Partridge, who stood aghast, one half of his Wits being hurried away by Surprise, and the other half by Fear, he said, he was sorry to see there was so wicked a Man in the World. He assured him, that his prevaricating and lying backward and forward was a great Aggravation of his Guilt: For which, the only Atonement he could make was by Confession and Repentance. He exhorted him, therefore, to begin by immediately confessing the Fact, and not to persist in denying what was so plainly proved against him, even by his own Wife.

Here, Reader, I beg your Patience a Moment, while I make a just Compliment to the great Wisdom and Sagacity of our Law, which refuses to admit the E­vidence of a Wife for or against her Husband. This, says a certain learned Author, who, I believe, was never quoted before in any but a Law-book, would be the Means of creating an eternal Dissention be­tween them. It would indeed, be the Means of much Perjury, and of much Whipping, Fining, Imprison­ing, Transporting, and Hanging.

Partridge stood a while silent, till being bid to speak, he said, he had already spoken the Truth, and ap­pealed [Page 80] to Heaven for his Innocence, and lastly, to the Girl herself, whom he desired his Worship immedi­ately to send for; for he was ignorant, or at least pre­tended to be so, that she had left that part of the Country.

Mr. Allworthy, whose natural Love of Justice, joined to his Coolness of Temper, made him always a most patient Magistrate in hearing all the Witnesses which an accused Person could produce in his Defence, agreed to defer his final Determination of this Mat­ter, till the Arrival of Jenny, for whom he immedi­ately dispatched a Messenger; and then having recom­mended Peace between Partridge and his Wife (tho' he addressed himself chiefly to the wrong Person) he appointed them to attend again the third Day: For he had sent Jenny a whole Day's Journey from his own House.

At the appointed Time the Parties all assembled, when the Messenger returning brought Word, that Jenny was not to be found: for that she had left her Habitation a few Days before, in company with a re­cruiting Officer.

Mr. Allworthy then declared, that the Evidence of such a Slut as she appeared to be, would have deserv­ed no Credit; but he said he could not help thinking that had she been present, and would have declared the Truth, she must have confirmed what so many Circumstances, together with his own Confession, and the Declaration of his Wife, that she had caught her Husband in the Fact, did sufficiently prove. He therefore once more exhorted Partridge to confess; but he still avowing his Innocence, Mr. Allworthy declared himself satisfied of his Guilt, and that he was too bad a Man to receive any Encouragement from him. He therefore deprived him of his Annui­ty, and recommended Repentance to him, on account of another World, and Industry to maintain himself and his Wife in this.

[Page 81] There were not, perhaps, many more unhappy Persons, than poor Partridge. He had lost the best Part of his Income by the Evidence of his Wife, and yet was daily upbraided by her for having, among other Things, been the Occasion of de­priving her of that Benefit; but such was his For­tune, and he was obliged to submit to it.

Tho' I called him, poor Patridge, in the last Pa­ragraph, I would have the Reader rather impute that Epithet to the Compassion in my Temper, than con­ceive it to be any Declaration of his Innocence. Whe­ther he was innocent or not, will perhaps appear hereafter; but if the Historic-Muse hath entrusted me with any Secrets, I will by no means be guilty of discovering them till she shall give me leave.

Here therefore, the Reader must suspend his Curio­sity. Certain it is, that whatever was the Truth of the Case, there was Evidence more than sufficient to convict him before Allworthy; indeed much less would have satisfied a Bench of Justices on an Order of Bastardy; and yet, notwithstanding the Positive­ness of Mrs. Partridge, who would have taken the Sacrament upon the Matter, there is a Possibility that the Schoolmaster was entirely innocent: For tho' it appeared clear, on comparing the Time when Jenny departed from Little Baddington, with that of her De­livery, that she had there conceived this Infant, yet it by no means followed, of Necessity, that Partridge must have been its Father: For, to omit other Par­ticulars, there was in the same House a Lad near Eighteen, between whom, and Jenny, there had sub­sisted sufficient Intimacy to found a reasonable Suspi­cion; and yet, so blind is Jealousy, this Circum­stance never once entered into the Head of the enra­ged Wife.

Whether Partridge repented or not, according to Mr. Allworthy's Advice, is not so apparent. Certain it is, that his Wife repented heartily of the Evidence [Page 82] she had given against him; especially when she found Mrs. Deborah had deceived her, and refused to make any Appliation to Mr. Allworthy on her Behalf. She had, however, somewhat better Success with Mrs. Blifil, who was, as the Reader must have per­ceived, a much better-tempered Woman; and very kindly undertook to solicit her Brother to restore the Annuity. In which, tho' Good nature might have some Share, yet a stronger and more natural Motive will appear in the next Chapter.

These Solicitations were nevertheless unsuccessful: For tho' Mr. Allworthy did not think, with some late Writers, that Mercy consists only in punishing Offen­ders; yet he was as far from thinking that it is pro­per to this excellent Quality to pardon great Criminals wantonly, without any Reason whatever. Any Doubt­fulness of the Fact, or any Circumstance of Mitigation was never disregarded; but the Petitions of an Offen­der, or the Intercessions of others, did not in the least affect him. In a word, he never pardoned, because the offender himself, or his Friends, were unwilling that he should be punished.

Partridge and his Wife were therefore both obliged to submit to their Fate; which was indeed severe e­nough; For so far was he from doubling his Industry on the account of his lessened Income, that he did in a manner abandon himself to despair; and as he was by Nature indolent, that Vice now increased upon him, by which means he lost the little School he had; so that neither his Wife nor himself would have had any Bread to eat, had not the Charity of some good Christian interposed, and provided them with what was just sufficient for their Sustenance.

As this Support was conveyed to them by an un­known Hand, they imagined, and so, I doubt not, will the Reader, that Mr. Allworthy himself was their secret Benefactor; who, though he would not openly encourage Vice, could yet privately relieve the Dis­tresses [Page 83] of the Vicious themselves, when these became too exquisite and disproportionate to their Merit. In which Light, their Wretchedness appeared now to Fortune herself; for she at length took pity on this miserable Couple, and considerably lessened the wretch­ed State of Partridge, by putting a final end to that of his Wife, who soon after caught the Small-pox, and died.

The Justice which Mr. Allworthy had executed on Partridge, at first met with universal Approbation; but no sooner had he felt its Consequences, than his Neighbours began to relent, and to compassionate his Case; and presently after, to blame that as Rigour and Severity, which they before called Justice. They now exclaimed against punishing in cold Blood, and sang forth the Praises of Mercy and Forgiveness.

These Cries were considerably increased by the Death of Mrs. Partridge, which, tho' owing to the Distemper above mentioned, which is no Consequence of Poverty or Distress, many were not ashamed to impute to Mr. Allworthy's Severity, or, as they now termed it, Cruelty.

Partridge, having now lost his Wife, his School, and his Annuity, and the unknown Person having now discontinued the last mentioned Charity, resolved to change the Scene, and left the Country, where he was in Danger of starving with the universal Com­passion of all his Neighbours.

CHAP. VII.

A short Sketch of that Felicity which prudent Couples may extract from Hatred; with a short Apology for those People who overlook Imperfections in their Friends.

THO' the Captain had effectually demolished poor Partridge, yet had he not reaped the Har­vest he hoped for, which was to turn the Foundling out of Mr. Allworthy's House.

[Page 84] On the contrary, that Gentleman grew every Day fonder of little Tommy, as if he intended to counter­balance his Severity to the Father with extraordinary Fondness and Affection towards the Son.

This a good deal soured the Captain's Temper, as did all the other daily Instances of Mr. Allworthy's Generosity: For he looked on all such Largesses to be Diminutions of his own Wealth.

In this, we have said, he did not agree with his Wife; nor indeed, in any thing else: For tho' an Affection placed on the Understanding is by many wife Persons thought much more durable than that which is founded on Beauty, yet it happened other­wise in the present Case. Nay, the Understandings of this Couple were their principal Bone of Contenti­on, and one great Cause of many Quarrels which from time to time arose between them; and which at last ended, on the Side of the Lady, in a sovereign Con­tempt for her Husband, and on the Husband's, in an utter Abhorrence of his Wife.

As these had both exercised their Talents chiefly in the Study of Divinity, this was, from their first Acquaintance, the most common Topic of Conver­sation between them. The Captain, like a well-bred Man, had, before Marriage, always given up his Opinion to that of the Lady; and this, not in the clumsy, aukward Manner of a conceited Blockhead, who' while he civilly yields to a Superiour in an Ar­gument, is desirous of being still known to think him­self in the Right. The Captain, on the contrary, tho' one of the proudest Fellows in the World, so absolutely yielded the Victory to his Antagonist, that she, who had not the least Doubt of his Sincerity, retired always from the Dispute with an Admiration of her own Understanding, and a Love for his.

But tho' this Complaisance to one whom the Cap­tain thoroughly despised, was not so uneasy to him, as it would have been, had any Hopes of Preferment [Page 85] made it necessary to shew the same Submission to a Hoadley, or to some other of great Reputation in the Science, yet even this cost him too much to be endu­red without some Motive. Matrimony, therefore, hav­ing removed all such Motives, he grew weary of this Condescention, and began to treat the Opinions of his Wife with that Haughtiness and Insolence, which none but those who deserve some Contempt themselves can bestow, and those only who deserve no Contempt can bear.

When the first Torrent of Tenderness was over, and when in the calm and long Interval between the Fits, Reason began to open the Eyes of the Lady, and she saw this Alteration of Behaviour in the Captain, who at length answered all her Arguments only with Pish and Pshaw, she was far from enduring the In­dignity with a tame Submission. Indeed, it at first so highly provoked her, that it might have produced some tragical Event, had it not taken a more harmless Turn, by filling her with the utmost Contempt for her Husband's Understanding, which somewhat qua­lified her Hatred towards him; tho' of this likewise, she had a pretty moderate Share.

The Captain's Hatred to her was of a purer Kind: For as to any Imperfections in her Knowledge or Un­derstanding, he no more despised her for them than for her not being six Feet high. In his Opinion of the female Sex, he exceeded the Moroseness of Aris­totle himself. He looked on a Woman as on an A­nimal of domestic Use, of somewhat higher Consi­deration than a Cat, since her Offices were of rather more Importance; but the Difference between these two, was in his Estimation so small, that in his Mar­riage contracted with Mr. Allworthy's Lands and Tenements, it would have been pretty equal which of them he had taken into the Bargain. And yet so tender was his Pride, that it felt the Contempt which his Wife now began to express towards him; and [Page 86] this, added to the Surfeit he had before taken of her Love, created in him a Degree of Disgust and Abhor­rence, perhaps hardly to be exceeded.

One Situation only of the married State is exclud­ed from Pleasure; and that is, a State of Indifference; but as many of my Readers, I hope, know what an exquisite Delight there is in conveying Pleasure to a beloved Object, so some few, I am afraid, may have experienced the Satisfaction of tormenting one we hate. It is, I apprehend, to come at this latter Plea­sure, that we see both Sexes often give up that Ease in Marriage, which they might otherwise possess, tho' their Mate was never so disagreeable to them. Hence the Wife often puts on Fits of Love and Jealousy, nay, even denies herself any Pleasure, to disturb and prevent those of her Husband; and he again, in re­turn, puts frequent Restraints on himself, and stays at home in Company which he dislikes, in order to con­fine his Wife to what she equally detests. Hence too must flow those Tears which a Widow some­times so plentifully sheds over the Ashes of a Hus­band with whom she led a Life of constant Disquiet and Turbulency, and whom now she can never hope to torment any more.

But if ever any Couple enjoyed this Pleasure, it was at present experienced by the Captain and his Lady. It was always a sufficient Reason to either of them to be obstinate in any Opinion, that the other had previously asserted the contrary. If the one pro­posed any Amusement, the other constantly objected to it. They never loved or hated, commended or abused the same Person. And for this Reason, as the Captain looked with an evil Eye on the little Found­ling, his Wife began now to caress it almost equally with her own Child.

The Reader will be apt to conceive, that this Be­haviour between the Husband and Wife did not greatly contribute to Mr. Allworthy's Repose, as it [Page 87] tended so little to that serene Happiness which he had proposed to all three, from this Alliance; but the Truth is, though he might be a little disappoint­ed in his sanguine Expectations, yet he was far from being acquainted with the whole Matter: For, as the Captain was, from certain obvious Reasons, much on his Guard before him, the Lady was obliged, for fear of her Brother's Displeasure, to pursue the same Conduct. In fact, it is possible for a third Person to be very intimate, nay even to live long in the same House, with a married Couple, who have any tole­rable Discretion, and not even guess at the four Sen­timents which they bear to each other: For though the whole Day may be sometimes too short for Hatred, as well as for Love: yet the many Hours which they naturally spend together, apart from all Observers, supply People of tolerable Moderation with such ample Opportunity for the Enjoyment of either Passion, that, if they love, they can support be­ing a few Hours in Company, without toying, or if they hate, without spitting in each others Faces.

It is possible, however, that Mr. Allworthy saw enough to render him a little uneasy; for we are not always to conclude, that a wise Man is not hurt, be­cause he doth not cry out and lament himself, like those of a childish or effeminate Temper. But in­deed it is possible he might see some Faults in the Captain, without any Uneasiness at all: For Men of true Wisdom and Goodness are contented to take Persons and Things as they are, without complaining of their Imperfections, or attempting to amend them. They can see a Fault in a Friend, a Relation, or an Accquaintance, without ever mentioning it to the Parties themselves, or any others; and this often without the least lessening their Affection. Indeed unless great Discernment be tempered with this overlooking Disposition, we ought never to contract Friendship but with a Degree of Folly which we can [Page 88] deceive: For I hope my Friends will pardon me, when I declare I know none of them without a Fault; and I should be sorry if I could imagine I had any Friend who could not see mine. Forgiveness, of this Kind, we give and demand in Turn. It is an Exercise of Friendship, and, perhaps, none of the least pleasant. And this Forgiveness we must bestow, without Desire of Amendment. There is, perhaps, no surer Mark of Folly, than an Attempt to correct the natural Infirmities of those we love. The finest Composition of human Nature, as well as the finest China, may have a Flaw in it; and this, I am afraid, in either Case, is equally incurable; though, never­theless, the Pattern may remain of the highest Value.

Upon the whole then, Mr. Allworthy certainly saw some Imperfections in the Captain; but, as this was a very artful Man, and eternally upon his Guard be­fore him, these appeared to him no more than Ble­mishes in a good Character, which his Goodness made him overlook, and his Wisdom prevented him from discovering to the Captain himself. Very different would have been his Sentiments, had he discovered the whole; which, perhaps, would, in Time, have been the Case, had the Husband and Wife long con­tinued this Kind of Behaviour to each other; but this kind Fortune took effectual Means to prevent, by for­cing the Captain to do that which rendered him again dear to his Wife, and restored all her Tenderness and Affection towards him.

CHAP. VIII.

A Receipt to regain the lost Affections of a Wife, which hath never been known to fail in the most desperate Cases.

THE Captain was made large Amends for the unpleasant Minutes which he passed in the Con­versation of his Wife (and which were as few as he [Page 89] could contrive to make them) by the pleasant Medita­tions he enjoyed when alone.

These Meditations were entirely employed on Mr. Allworthy's Fortune; for first, he exercised much Thought in calculating, as well as he could, the exact Value of the whole; which Calculations he often saw Occasion to alter in his own Favour: And secondly, and chiefly, he pleased himself with intended Altera­tions in the House and Gardens, and in projecting ma­ny other Schemes, as well for Improvement of the Estate, as of the Grandeur of the Place. For this Purpose he applied himself to the Studies of Archi­tecture and Gardening, and read over many Books on both those Subjects; for these Sciences, indeed, em­ployed his whole Time, and formed his only amuse­ment. He at last completed a most excellent Plan; and very sorry we are, that it is not in our Power to present it to our Reader, since even the Luxury of the present Age, I believe would hardly match it. It had, indeed, in a superlative Degree, the two principal In­gredients which serve to recommend all great and no­ble Designs of this Nature: For it required an immo­derate Expence to execute, and a vast Length of Time to bring it to any Sort of Perfection. The former of these, the immense Wealth of which the Captain sup­posed Mr. Allworthy possessed, and which he thought himself sure of inheriting, promised very effectually to supply; and the latter, the Soundness of his own Constitution, and his Time of Life, which was only what is called Middle Age, removed all Apprehen­sion of his not living to accomplish.

Nothing was wanting to enable him to enter upon the immediate Execution of this Plan, but the Death of Mr. Allworthy; in calculating which he had em­ployed much of his own Algebra; besides purchasing every Book extant that treats of the Value of Lives, Reversions, &c. From all which, he satisfied himself, that as he had every Day a Chance of this happening, [Page 90] so had he more than an even Chance of its happening within a few Years.

But while the Captain was one Day busied in deep Contemplations of this Kind, one of the most unlucky as well as unseasonable Accidents, happened to him. The utmost Malice of Fortune could indeed have con­trived nothing so cruel, so mal-a-propos, so absolute­ly destructive to all his Schemes. In short, not to keep the Reader in long Suspence, just at the very Instant when his Heart was exulting in Meditations o [...] the Happiness which would accrue to him by Mr. All­worthy's Death, he himself—died of an Apoplexy.

This unfortunately befel the Captain as he was tak­ing his Evening Walk by himself, so that no Body was present to lend him any Assistance, if indeed any Assistance could have preserved him. He took, there­fore, Measure of that Proportion of Soil, which was now become adequate to all his future Purposes, and he lay dead on the Ground, a great (though not a living) Example of the Truth of that Observation of Horace:

'Tu secanda marmora
'Locas sub ipsum funus: et sepulchri
'Immemor, struis domos.

Which Sentiment, I shall thus give to the English Reader: 'You provide the noblest Materials for Building, when a Pick-ax and a Spade are only necessary; and build Houses of five hundred by a hundred Feet, forgetting that of six by two.'

CHAP. IX.

A Proof of the Infallibility of the foregoing Receipt, in the Lamentations of the Widow; with other suitable Decorations of Death, such as Physicians, &c. and an Epitaph in the true Stile.

MR. Allworthy, his Sister, and another Lady, were assembled at the accustomed Hour in the Supper Room, where having waited a considerable [Page 91] Time longer than usual, Mr. Allworthy first declared [...]e began to grow uneasy at the Captain's Stay; (for he was always most punctual at his Meals,) and gave Orders that the Bell should be rung without the Doors, and especially towards those Walks which the Captain was wont to use.

All these Summons proving ineffectual, (for the Captain had, by perverse Accident, betaken himself [...] a new Walk that Evening,) Mrs. Blifil declared she was seriously frightned. Upon which the other Lady, who was one of her most intimate Acquaintance, and who well knew the true State of her Affections, en­deavoured all she could to pacify her; telling her—so be sure she could not help being uneasy; but that she should hope the best. That, perhaps, the Sweetness of the Evening had enticed the Captain to go farther than his usual Walk, or he might be detained at some Neighbour's. Mrs. Blifil answered, No; she was are some Accident had befallen him; for that he would never stay out without sending her Word, as [...]e must know how uneasy it would make her. The other Lady, having no other Arguments to use, be­took herself to the Entreaties usual on such Occasions, and begged her not to frighten herself, for it might be of very ill Consequence to her own Health; and, fill­ing out a very large Glass of Wine, advised, and at last prevailed with her to drink it.

Mr. Allworthy now returned into the Parlour; for he had been himself in Search after the Captain. His Countenance sufficiently shewed the Consternation he was under, which indeed had a good deal deprived him of Speech; but as Grief operates variously on different [...]linds, so the same Apprehension which depressed his Voice, elevated that of Mrs. Blifil. She now began to bewail herself in very bitter Terms, and Floods of Tears accompanied her Lamentations, which the Lady, her Companion, declared she could not blame; [...]ut at the same Time dissuaded her from indulging; [Page 92] attempting to moderate the Grief of her Friend, by philosophical Observations on the many Disappointments to which human Life is daily subject, which she said, was a sufficient Consideration to fortify on Minds against any Accidents, how sudden or terrible soever. She said, her Brother's Example ought to teach her Patience, who, though indeed he could not be supposed as much concerned as herself, yet was doubtless very uneasy, though his Resignation to the Divine Will had restrained his Grief within due Bounds. 'Mention not my Brother,' said Mrs. Blifil, 'alone am the Object of your Pity. What are the Terrors of Friendship to what a Wife feels on these Occasions? O he is lost! Somebody hath murdered him—I shall never see him more'—Here Torrent of Tears had the same Consequence with what the Suppression had occasioned to Mr. Allworthy and she remained silent.

At this Interval, a Servant came running in, ou [...] of Breath, and cried out, the Captain was found; and, before he could proceed farther, he was followed by two more, bearing the dead Body between them.

Here the curious Reader may observe, another Diversity in the Operations of Grief: For as Mr. Allworthy had been before silent, from the same Cause which had made his Sister vociferous; so did the pre­sent Sight, which drew Tears from the Gentleman, put an entire Stop to those of the Lady; who first gave a violent Scream, and presently after fell into a Fit.

The Room was soon full of Servants, some of whom, with the Lady visitant, were employed in Care of the Wife, and others, with Mr. Allworthy, assisted in carrying off the Captain to a warm Bed, where every Method was tried, in order to restore him to Life.

[Page 93] And glad should we be, could we inform the Reader at both these Bodies had been attended with equal [...]ccess; for those who undertook the Care of the [...]dy, succeeded so well, that after the Fit had con­ [...]ued a decent Time, she again revived, to their great [...]atisfaction; but as to the Captain, all Experiments bleeding, chafing, dropping, &c. proved ineffc­ [...]l. Death, that inexorable Judge, had passed Sen­ [...]ce on him, and refused to grant him a Reprieve, [...]ugh two Doctors who arrived, and were fee'd at [...]e and the same Instant, were his Council.

These two Doctors, whom, to avoid any malicious [...]pplications, we shall distinguish by the Names of Dr. [...] and Dr. Z. having felt his Pulse: to wit, Dr. Y. [...]s right Arm, and Dr. Z. his left, both agreed that he [...]as absolutely dead; but as to the Distemper, or Cause [...] his Death, they differed, D. Y. holding that he [...]d died of an Apoplexy, and Dr. Z. of an Epilepsy. Hence arose a Dispute between the learned Men, which each delivered the Reasons of their several Opi­nions. These were of such equal Force, that they served [...]th to confirm either Doctor in his own Sentiments, and made not the least Impression on his Adversary. To say the Truth, every Physician, almost, hath [...]s favourite Disease, to which he ascribes all the Vic­ [...]ies obtained over human Nature. The Gout, the [...]eumatism, the Stone, the Gravel, and the Consump­ [...]n, have all their several Patrons in the Faculty; and one more than the nervous Fever, or the Fever on the [...]pirits. And here we may account for those Disagree­ [...]ents in Opinion, concerning the Cause of a Pati­ [...]t's Death; which sometimes occur between the [...]ost learned of the College; and which have greatly [...]rprized that Part of the World who have been ig­norant of the Fact we have above asserted.

The Reader may, perhaps, be surprized, that in­ [...]ad of endeavouring to revive the Patient, the learned [...]entlemen should fall immediately into a Dispute on [Page 94] the Occassion of his Death; but in reality, all such Experiments had been made before their Arrival: Fo [...] the Captain was put into a warm Bed, had his Vei [...] scarified, his Forehead chafed, and all Sorts of stro [...] Drops applied to his Lips and his Nostrils.

The Physicians, therefore, finding themselves an­ticipated in every thing they ordered, were at a Los [...] how to employ that Portion of Time which it is use sual and decent to remain for their Fee, and wer [...] necessitated to find some Subject or other for Dis­course; and what could more naturally present itself than that before-mentioned?

Our Doctors were about to take their Leave when Mr. Allworthy, having given over the Captain and acquiesced in the divine Will, began to enquir [...] after his Sister, whom he desired them to visit before their departure.

This Lady was now recovered of her Fit, and, to use the common Phrase, as well as could be expected for one in her Condition. The Doctors therefore all previous Ceremonies being complied with, as this was a new Patient, attended according to desire, and laid hold on each of her Hands, as they had before done on those of the Corpse.

The Case of the Lady was in the other Extreme from that of her Husband; for as he was past all the Assistance of Physic, so, in reality, she required none.

There is nothing more unjust, than the Vulgar O­pinion by which Physicians are misrepresented, a [...] Friends to Death. On the contrary, I believe, i [...] the Number of those who recover by Physic could be opposed to that of the Martyrs to it, the for­mer would rather exceed the latter. Nay, some are so cautious on this Head, that, to avoid a Possi­bility of killing the Patient, they abstain from all Methods of curing, and prescribe nothing but what can neither do good nor harm: I have heard some [Page 95] of these, with great Gravity, deliver it as a Maxim, [...]hat Nature should be left to do her own Work, while the Physician stands by, as it were to clap her [...]n the Back, and encourage her when she doth well.

So little then did our Doctors delight in Death, [...]at they discharged the Corpse after a single Fee; [...]ut they were not so disgusted with their living Pati­ [...]t; concerning whose Case they immediately a­ [...]reed, and fell to prescribing with great Diligence.

Whether, as the Lady had at first persuaded her Phy­ [...]cians to believe her ill, they had now, in return, per­ [...]aded her to believe herself so, I will not determine; [...]ut she continued a whole Month with all the Deco­ [...]tions of Sickness. During this Time she was vi­ [...]ted by Physicians, attended by Nurses, and received [...]onstant Messages from her Acquaintance, to enquire after her Health.

At length, the decent Time for Sickness and im­moderate Grief being expired, the Doctors were dis­charged, and the Lady began to see Company; being [...]tered only from what she was before by that Colour of Sadness in which she had dressed her Person and Countenance.

The Captain was now interred, and might per­haps, have already made a large Progress towards Oblivion, had not the Friendship of Mr. Allworthy [...]aken Care to preserve his Memory, by the following Epitaph, which was written by a Man of as great Genius as Integrity, and one who perfectly knew the Captain.

[Page 96] Here lies, In Expectation of a joyful Rising, The Body of Captain JOHN BLIFIL. LONDON had the Honour of his Birth, OXFORD of his Education. His Parts were an Honour to his Profession and to his Country. His Life to his Religion and human Nature. He was a dutiful Son, a tender Husband, an affectionate Father, a sincere Friend, a devout Christian, and a good Man. His inconsolable Widow hath erected this Stone, The Monument of His Virtues, and of Her Affection.’

THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING.
BOOK III.

Containing the most memorable Transactions which pas­sed in the Family of Mr. Allworthy, from the Time when Tommy Jones arrived at the Age of Four­teen, till he attained the Age of Seventeen. In this Book the Reader may pick up some Hints concerning the Education of Children.

CHAP. I.

Containing little or nothing.

THE Reader will be well pleased to remember, that at the Beginning of the Second Book of this History, we gave him a Hint of our Intention to pass over several large Periods of Time, in which nothing happened worthy of being recorded in a Chro­nicle of this Kind.

In so doing, we do not only consult our own Dig­nity and Ease; but the Good and Advantage of the Reader: For besides, that by these Means we prevent him from throwing away his Time in reading with­out either Pleasure or Emolument, we gave him at [Page 98] all such Seasons an Opportunity of employing that wonderful Sagacity, of which he is Master, by filling up these vacant Spaces of Time with his own Con­jectures; for which Purpose, we have taken care to qualify him in the preceding Pages.

For Instance, what Reader but knows that Mr. Allworthy felt at first for the Loss of his Friend, those Emotions of Grief, which on such Occasions enter into all Men whose Hearts are not composed of Flint, or their Heads of as solid Materials? Again, what Reader doth not know that Philosophy and Religion, in time, moderated, and at last extinguished this Grief? The former of these, teaching the Folly and Vanity of it, and the latter, correcting it, as un­lawful, and at the same time assuaging it by raising future Hopes and Assurances which enable a strong and religious Mind to take leave of a Friend on his Death-bed with little less indifference than if he was preparing for a long Journey; and indeed with little less Hope of seeing him again.

Nor can the judicious Reader be at a greater Loss on Account of Mrs. Bridget Blifil, who, he may be assured, conducted herself through the whole Season in which Grief is to make its Appearance on the out­side of the Body, with the strictest Regard to all the Rules of Custom and Decency, suiting the Alterations of her Countenance to the several Alterations of her Habit: For as this changed from Weeds to Black, from Black to Grey, from Grey to White, so did her Counte­nance change from Dismal to Sorrowful, from Sorrow­ful to Sad, and from Sad to Serious, till the Day came in which she was allowed to return to her former Se­renity.

We have mentioned these two as Examples only of the Task which may be imposed on Readers of the lowest Class. Much higher and harder Exercises of Judgment and Penetration may reasonably be ex­pected from the upper Graduates in Criticism. Ma­by [Page 99] notable Discoveries will, I doubt not, be made by such, of the Transactions which happened in the Family of our worthy Man, during all the Years which we have thought proper to pass over: For tho' nothing worthy of a Place in this History occurred within that Period; yet did several Incidents happen, of equal Importance with those reported by the daily and Weekly Historians of the Age, in reading which, great Numbers of Persons consume a considerable Part of their Time, very little, I am afraid, to their Emolument. Now, in the Conjectures here pro­posed, some of the most excellent Faculties of the Mind may be employed to much Advantage, since it is a more useful Capacity to be able to foretel the Actions of Men in any Circumstance from their Cha­racters; than to judge of their Characters from their Actions. The former, I own, requires the greater Penetration; but may be accomplished by true Sa­gacity, with no less certainty than the latter.

As we are sensible that much the greatest Part of our Readers are very eminently possessed of this Qua­lity, we have left them a Space of twelve Years to exert it in; and shall now bring forth our Hero, at about fourteen Years of Age, not questioning that many have been long impatient to be introduced to his Acquaintance.

CHAP. II.

The Hero of this great History appears with very bad Omens. A little Tale, of so LOW a Kind, that some may think it not worth their Notice. A Word or two concerning a Squire, and more relating to a Game-keeper and a Schoolmaster.

AS we determined when we first sat down to write this History, to flatter no Man; but to guide our Pen throughout by the Directions of Truth, we are obliged to bring our Hero on the Stage in a much more disadvantageous Manner than we could wish; [Page 100] and to declare honestly, even at his first Appearance, that it was the universal Opinion of all Mr. Allwor­thy's Family, that he was certainly born to be hanged.

Indeed, I am sorry to say, there was too much Reason for this Conjecture. The Lad having, from his earliest Years, discovered a Propensity to many Vices, and especially to one, which hath as direct a Tendency as any other to that Fate, which we have just now observed to have been prophetically de­nounced against him. He had been already convicted of three Robberies, viz. of robbing an Orchard, of stealing a Duck out of a Farmer's Yard, and of pick­ing Master Blifil's Pocket of a Ball.

The Vices of this young Man were moreover heightened by the disadvantageous Light in which they appeared, when opposed to the Virtues of Master Bli­fil, his Companion: A Youth of so different a Cast from little Jones, that not only the Family, but all the Neighbourhood resounded his Praises. He was indeed a Lad of a remarkable Disposition; sober, dis­creet, and pious beyond his Age. Qualities, which gained him the Love of every one who knew him, while Tom Jones was universally disliked, and many expressed their Wonder that Mr. Allworthy would suf­fer such a Lad to be educated with his Nephew, lest the Morals of the latter should be corrupted by his Example.

An Incident which happened about this Time, will set the Characters of these two Lads, more fairly be­fore the discerning Reader, than is in the Power of the longest Dissertation.

Tom Jones, who, bad as he is, must serve for the Heroe of this History, had only one Friend among all the Servants of the Family; for, as to Mrs. Wilkins, she had long since given him up, and was perfectly reconciled to her Mistress. This Friend was the Game-keeper, a Fellow of a loose kind of Disposition and who was thought not to entertain much strict [...] [Page 101] Notions concerning the Difference of meum and tuum, than the young Gentleman himself. And hence, this Friendship gave Occasion to many sarcastical Re­marks among the Domestics, most of which were either Proverbs before, or at least are become so now; and indeed, the Wit of them all may be comprised in that short I atin Proverb, "Noscitur a socio," which I think, is thus expressed in English, "You may know him by the Company he keeps."

To say the Truth, some of that atrocious Wicked­ness in Jones, of which we have just mentioned three Examples, might perhaps be derived from the Encou­ragement he had received from this Fellow, who, in two or three Instances, had been what the Law calls an Accessary after the Fact. For the whole Duck, and great Part of the Apples were converted to the Use of the Game-keeper and his Family. Tho' as Jones alone was discovered, the poor Lad bore not only the whole Smart, but the whole Blame; both which fell again to his Lot, on the following Occasion. Contiguous to Mr. Allworthy's Estate, was the Ma­nor of one of those Gentlemen, who are called Pre­servers of the Game. This Species of Men, from the great Severity with which they revenge the Death of a Hare or a Partridge, might be thought to culti­vate the same Superstition with the Bannians in India; many of whom, we are told, dedicate their whole Lives to the Preservation and Protection of certain Animals, was it not that our English Bannians, while they preserve them from other Enemies, will most unmercifully slaughter whole Horse-loads themselves, so that they stand clearly acquitted of any such heathen­ish Superstition.

I have indeed, a much better Opinion of this Kind of Men than is entertained by some, as I take them to answer the Order of Nature, and the good Pur­poses for which they were ordained in a more ample [Page 102] Manner than many others. Now, as Horace tells us, that there are a set of human Beings,

'Fruges consumere nati

'Born to consume the Fruits of the Earth.' So, I make no manner of Doubt but that there are others

'Feras consumere nati.

'Born to consume the Beasts of the Field,' or, as it is commonly called, the Game; and none I believe, will deny, but that those Squires fulfil this End of their Creation.

Little Jones went one Day a shooting with the Game-keeper; when, happening to spring a Covey of Partridges, near the Border of that Manor, over which Fortune, to fulfil the wise Purposes of Nature, had planted one of the Game-Consumers, the Birds flew into it, and were marked (as it is called) by the two Sportsmen, in some Furze Bushes, about two or three hundred Paces beyond Mr. Allworthy's Domi­nions.

Mr. Allworthy had given the Fellow strict Orders, on Pain of forfeiting his Place, never to trespass on any of his Neighbours, no more on those who were less rigid in this Matter, than on the Lord of this Manor. With regard to others, indeed, these Or­ders had not been always very scrupulously kept; but as the Disposition of the Gentleman with whom the Partridges had taken sauctuary, was well known, the Game-keeper had never yet attempted to invade his Territories. Nor had he done it now, had not the younger Sportsman, who was so excessively eager to pursue the flying Game, over-persuaded him; but Jones being very importunate, the other, who was himself keen enough after the Sport, yielded to his Persuasions, entered the Manor, and shot one of the Partridges.

The Gentleman himself was at that time on horse­back, at a little Distance from them; and hearing the Gun go off, he immediately made towards the Place, [Page 103] and discovered poor Tom: For the Game-keeper had leapt into the thickest Part of the Furze-brake, where he had happily concealed himself.

The Gentleman having searched the Lad, and found the Partridge upon him, denounced great Vengeance, swearing he would acquaint Mr. Allworthy. He was as good as his Word, for he rode immediately to his House, and complained of the Trespass on his Manor, in as high Terms, and as bitter Language, as if his House had been broken open, and the most valuable Furniture stole out of it. He added, that some other Person was in his Company, tho' he could not discover him: for that two Guns had been discharged almost in the same Instant. And, says he, 'we have found only this Partridge, but the Lord knows what Mischief they have done.'

At his Return home, Tom was presently convened before Mr. Allworthy. He owned the Fact, and al­ledged no other Excuse but what was really true, viz. that the Covey was originally sprung in Mr. Allworthy's own Manor.

Tom was then interrogated who was with him, which Mr. Allworthy declared he was resolved to know, acquainting the Culprit with the Circumstance of the two Guns, which had been deposed by the Squire and both his Servants; but Tom stoutly persisted in as­serting that he was alone; yet, to say the Truth, he hesitated a little at first, which would have confirmed Mr. Allworthy's Belief, had what the Squire and his Servants said, wanted any further Confirmation.

The Game-keeper being a suspected Person, was now sent for, and the Question put to him; but he, relying on the Promise which Tom had made him, to take all upon himself, very resolutely denied being in Company with the young Gentleman, or indeed hav­ing seen him the whole Afternoon.

Mr. Allworthy then turned towards Tom, with more than usual Anger in his Countenance, and ad­vised [Page 104] him to confess who was with him; repeating, that he was resolved to know. The Lad, however, still maintained his Resolution, and was dismissed with much Wrath by Mr. Allworthy, who told him, he should have to the next Morning to consider of it, when he should be questioned by another Person and in another Manner.

Poor Jones spent a very melancholy Night, and the more so, as he was without his usual Companion: for Master Blifil was gone abroad on a visit with his Mother. Fear of the Punishment he was to suffer was on this Occasion his least Evil; his chief Anxi­ety being, lest his Constancy should fail him, and he should be brought to betray the Game-keeper, whose Ruin he knew must now be the Consequence.

Nor did the Game-keeper pass his Time much bet­ter. He had the same Apprehensions with the Youth; for whose Honour he had likewise a much tenderer Regard than for his Skin.

In the Morning, when Tom attended the Reverend Mr. Thwackum, the Person to whom Mr. Allworthy had committed the Instruction of the two Boys, he had the same Questions put to him by that Gentleman, which he had been asked the Evening before, to which he returned the same Answers. The Conse­quence of this was, so severe a Whipping, that it possibly fell little short of the Torture with which Con­fessions are in some Countries extorted from Criminals.

Tom bore his Punishment with great Resolution; and tho' his Master asked him between every Stroke, whether he would not confess, he was contented to be flead rather than betray his Friend, or break the Promise he had made.

The Game-keeper was now relieved from his Anx­iety, and Mr. Allworthy himself began to be concern­ed at Tom's Sufferings: For, besides that Mr. Thwac­kum, being highly enraged that he was not able to make the Boy say what he himself pleased, had car­ried [Page 105] his Severity much beyond the good Man's Inten­tion, this latter began now to suspect that the Squire had been mistaken; which his Extreme Eagerness and Anger seemed to make probable; and as for what the Servants had said in Confirmation of their Master's Account, he laid no great Stress upon that. Now, as Cruelty and Injustice were two Ideas, of which Mr. Allworthy could by no Means support the Con­sciousness a single Moment, he sent for Tom, and af­ter many kind and Friendly Exhortations, said, 'I am convinced, my dear Child, that my Suspicions have wronged you; I am sorry that you have been so severely punished on this Account.'—And at last gave him a little Horse to make him amends; again repeating his Sorrow for what had past.

Tom's Guilt now flew in his Face more than any Severity could make it. He could more easily bear the Lashes of Thwackum, than the Generosity of Allworthy. The Tears burst from his Eyes, and he fell upon his Knees, crying, 'Oh! Sir, you are too good to me. Indeed, you are. Indeed, I don't deserve it.' And at that very Instant, from the Fullness of his Heart, had almost betrayed the Secret; but the good Genius of the Game-keeper suggested to him what might be the Consequence to the poor Fel­low, and this Consideration sealed his Lips.

Thwackum did all he could to dissuade Allworthy from shewing any Compassion or Kindness to the Boy, saying, 'He had persisted in an Untruth;' and gave some Hints, that a second Whipping might pro­bably bring the Matter to Light.

But Mr. Allworthy absolutely refused to consent to the Experiment. He said, the Boy had suffered enough already, for concealing the Truth, even if he was guilty, seeing that he could have no Motive but a mistaken Point of Honour for so doing.

Honour! cry'd Thwackum, with some Warmth, mere Stubborness and Obstinacy! Can Honour teach [Page 106] any one to tell a Lie, or can any Honour exist inde­pendent of Religion?

This Discourse happened at Table when Dinner was just ended; and there were present Mr. Allworthy, Mr. Thwackum, and a third Gentleman who entered into the Debate, and whom, before we proceed any farther, we shall briefly introduce to our Reader's Acquaintance.

CHAP. III.

The Character of Mr. Square the Philosopher, and of Mr. Thwackum the Divine; with a Dispute con­cerning—

THE Name of this Gentleman who had then resided some time at Mr. Allworthy's House, was Mr. Square. His natural Parts were not of the first Rate, but he had greatly improved them by a learn Education. He was deeply read in the An­tients, and a profest Master of all the Works of Plato and Aristotle. Upon which great Models he had prin­cipally form'd himself, sometimes according with the Opinion of the one, and sometimes with that of the other. In Morals he was a profest Platonist, and in Religion he inclined to be an Aristotelian.

But tho' he had, as we have said, formed his Mo­rals on the Platonic Model, yet he perfectly agreed with the Opinion of Aristotle, in considering that great Man rather in the Quality of a Philosopher or a Speculatist, than as a Legislator. This Sentiment he carried a great way; indeed, so far, as to regard all Virtue as Matter of Theory only. This, it is true, he never affirmed, as I have heard, to any one; and yet upon the least attention to his Conduct, I can­not help thinking, it was his real Opinion, as it will perfectly reconcile some Contradictions which might otherwise appear in his Character.

[Page 107] This Gentleman and Mr. Thwackum scarce ever met without a Disputation; for their Tenets were, indeed, diametrically opposite to each other. Square held human Nature to be the Perfection of all Virtue, and that Vice was a Deviation from our Nature in the same Manner as Deformity of Body is. Thwackum, on the contrary, maintained that the human Mind, since the fall, was nothing but a Sink of Iniquity, till purified and redeemed by Grace. In one Point only they agreed, which was, in all their Discourses on Morality never to mention the Word Goodness. The favourite Phrase of the former, was the natural Beau­ty of Virtue; that of the latter, was the divine Power of Grace. The former measured all Actions by the unalterable Rule of Right, and the eternal Fitness of Things; the latter decided all Matters by Authority; but, in doing this, he always used the Scriptures and their Commentators, as the Lawyer doth his Coke upon Lyt­tleton, where the Comment is of equal Authority with the Text.

After this short Introduction, the Reader will be pleased to remember, that the Parson had concluded his Speech with a triumphant Question, to which he had apprehended no Answer; viz. Can any Honour exist independent on Religion?

To this Square answered, that it was impossible to discourse philosophically concerning Words, till their Meaning was first established; that there were scarce any two Words of a more vague and incertain Signi­fication, than the two he had mentioned: For that there were almost as many different Opinions concern­ing Honour as concerning Religion. 'But, says he, if by Honour you mean the true natural Beauty of Vir­tue, I will maintain it may exist independent of any Religion whatever. Nay (added he) you yourself will allow it may exist independent of all but one; so will a Mahometan, a Jew, and all the Maintainers of all the different Sects in the World.'

[Page 108] Thwackum replied, This was arguing with the usual Malice of all the Enemies to the true Church. He said, he doubted not but that all the Infidels and Hereticks in the World would, if they could, con­fine Honour to their own absurd Errors, and dam­nable Deceptions; 'But Honour, says he, is not therefore manifold, because there are many absurd Opinions about it; nor is Religion manifold, because there are various Sects and Heresies in the World. When I mention Religion, I mean the Christian Religion; and not only the Christian Re­ligion, but the Protestant Religion; and not only the Protestant Religion, but the Church of England. And, when I mention Honour, I mean that Mode of divine Grace which is not only consistent with, but dependent upon, this Religion; and is consistent with, and dependent upon, no other. Now to say that the Honour I here mean, and which was, I thought, all the Honour I could be supposed to mean, will uphold, much less dictate, an Untruth, is to assert an Absurdity too shocking to be conceived.'

'I purposely avoided,' says Square, 'drawing a Con­clusion which I thought evident from what I have said; but if you perceived it, I am sure you have not attempted to answer it. However, to drop the Article of Religion, I think it is plain, from what you have said, that we have different Ideas of Hon­our; or why do we not agree in the same Terms of its Explanation? I have asserted, that true Honour and true Virtue are almost synonimous Terms, and they are both founded on the unalter­able Rule of Right, and the eternal Fitness of Things; to which an Untruth being absolutely re­pugnant and contrary, it is certain that true Ho­nour cannot support an Untruth. In this, therefore, I think we are agreed; but that this Honour, can be said to be founded on Religion, to which it is an­tecedent, if by Religion be meant any positive Law— [Page 109] 'I agree,' answered Thwackum, with great 'Warmth, 'with a Man who asserts Honour to be antecedent to Religion!—Mr. Allworthy, did I a­gree—?

He was proceeding, when Mr. Allworthy inter­posed, telling them very coldly, they had both mistaken his Meaning; for that he had said nothing of true Honour.—It is possible, however, he would not have easily quieted the Disputants, who were growing e­qually warm, had not another Matter now fallen out, which put a final End to the Conversation at present.

CHAP. IV.

Containing a necessary Apology for the Author; and a childish Incident, which perhaps requires an Apology likewise.

BEFORE I proceed farther, I shall beg leave to obviate some Misconstructions, into which the Zeal of some few Readers may lead them; for I would not willingly give Offence to any, especially to Men who are warm in the Cause of Virtue or Re­ligion.

I hope, therefore, no Man will, by the grossest Misunderstanding, or Perversion, of my Meaning, misrepresent me, as endeavouring to cast any Ridicule on the greatest Perfections of Human Nature; and which do, indeed, alone purify and ennoble the Heart of Man, and raise him above the Brute Creation. This, Reader, I will venture to say, (and by how much the better Man you are yourself, by so much the more will you be inclined to believe me) that I would ra­ther have buried the Sentiments of these two Persons in eternal Oblivion, than have done any Injury to either of these glorious Causes.

On the contrary, it is with a View to their Service that I have taken upon me to record the Lives and Actions of two of their false and pretended Champions. [Page 110] A treacherous Friend is the most dangerous Enemy; and I will say boldly, that both Religion and Virtue have received more real Discredit from Hypocrites, than the wittiest Profligates or Infidels could ever cast upon them: Nay farther, as these two, in their Purity, are rightly called the Bands of civil Society, and are indeed the greatest of Blessings; so when poisoned and corrupted with Fraud, Pretence and Affection, they have become the worst of civil Curses, and have enabled Men to perpetrate the most cruel Mischiefs to their own Species.

Indeed, I doubt not but this Ridicule will in gene­ral be allowed; my chief Apprehensions is, as many true and just Sentiments often came from the Mouths of these Persons, lest the whole should be taken to­gether, and I should be conceived to ridicule all alike. Now the Reader will be pleased to consider, that as neither of these Men were Fools, they could not be supposed to have holden none but wrong Principles, and to have uttered nothing but Absurdities; what Injustice, therefore, must I have done to their Cha­racters, had I selected only what was bad, and how horridly wretched and maimed must their Arguments have appeared!

Upon the whole, it is not Religion or Virtue, but the Want of them which is here exposed. Had not Thwackum too much neglected Virtue, and Square Religion, in the Composition of their several Systems; and had not both utterly discarded all natural Goodness of Heart, they had never been represented as the Ob­jects of Derision in this History; in which we will now proceed.

This Matter, then, which put an end to the Debate mentioned in the last Chapter, was no other than a Quarrel between Master Blifil and Tom Jones, the Consequence of which had been a Bloody Nose to the former; for though Master Blifil, notwithstanding he was the younger, was in Size above the other's [Page 111] Match, yet Tom was much his Superior at the noble Art of Boxing.

Tom, however, cautiously avoided all Engagements with that Youth: For besides that Tommy Jones was an inoffensive Lad amidst all his Roguery, and really loved Blifil; Mr. Thwackum being always the Se­cond of the latter, would have been sufficient to deter him.

But well says a certain Author, No Man is wise at all Hours; it is therefore no Wonder that a Boy is not so. A Difference arising at Play between the two Lads, Master Blifil called Tom a Beggarly Bastard. Upon which the lattter, who was somewhat passionate in his Disposition, immediately caused that Phaenome­non in the Face of the former, which we have above remembered.

Master Blifil now, with his Blood running from his Nose, and the Tears galloping after from his Eyes, appeared before his Uncle, and the tremendous Thwackum. In which Court an Indictment of As­sault, Batterry, and wounding, was instantly preser­red against Tom; who in his Excuse only pleaded the Provocation, which was indeed all the Matter that Master Blifil had omitted.

It is indeed possible, that this Circumstances might have escaped his Memory; for, in his Reply, he po­sitively insisted, that he made Use of no such Appella­tion; adding, 'Heaven forbid such naughty Words should ever come out of his Mouth.'

Tom, though against all Form of Law, rejoined in Affirmance of the Words. Upon which Master Bli­fil said, 'It is no Wonder. Those who will tell one Fib, will hardly stick at another. If I had told my Master such a wicked Fib as you have done, I should be ashamed to shew my Face.'

'What Fib, Child,' cries Thwackum pretty ea­gerly?

'Why he told you that Nobody was with him a [Page 112] shooting when he killed the Partridge; but he knows, (here he burst into a Flood of Tears) yes, he knows; for he confessed it to me, that Black Jack the Game-keeper was there. Nay, he said,—Yes you did,—deny it if you can, That you would not have con­fest the Truth, though Master had cut you to Pieces.'

At this the Fire flashed from Thwackum's Eyes; and he cried out in Triumph: 'Oh ho! This is your mistaken Notion of Honour! This is the Boy who was not to be whipped again!' But Mr. Allworthy, with a more gentle Aspect, turned towards the Lad, and said, 'Is this true, Child? How came you to persist so obstinately in a Falshood?'

Tom said, 'He scorned a Lie as much as any one; but he thought his Honour engaged him to act as he did; for he had promised the poor Fellow to conceal him; which,' he said, 'he thought him­self farther obliged to, as the Game-keeper had begged him not to go into the Gentleman's Manor, and had at last gone himself in Compliance with his Persuasions.' He said, this was the whole Truth of the Matter, and he would take his Oath of it; and concluded with very passionately begging Mr. Allworthy, 'to have Compassion on the poor Fellow's Family, especially as he himself had been only guil­ty, and the other had been very difficultly prevailed on to what he did.' 'Indeed Sir,' said he, 'it could hardly be called a Lie that I told; for the poor Fellow was entirely innocent of the whole Matter. I should have gone alone after the Birds; nay, I did go at first, and he only followed me to prevent more Mischief. Do, pray, Sir, let me be punished, take my little Horse away again; but pray, Sir, forgive poor George.'

Mr. Allworthy hesitated a few Moments, and then dismissed the Boys, advising them to live more friend­ly and peaceably together.

CHAP. V.

The Opinion of the Divine and the Philosopher con­cerning the two Boys; with some Reasons for their Opinions, and other Matters.

IT is probable, that by disclosing this Secret, which had been communicated in the utmost Confidence to him, young Blifil preserved his Companion from a good Lashing: For the Offence of the bloody Nose would have been of itself sufficient Cause for Thwack­um to have proceeded to Correction; but now this was totally absorbed, in the Consideration of the o­ther Matter; and with Regard to this, Mr. Allwor­thy declared privately, he thought the Boy deserved Reward rather than Punishment; so that Thwackum's Hand was withheld by a general Pardon.

Thwackum, whose Meditations were full of Birch, exclaimed against this weak, and, as he said he would venture to call it, wicked Lenity. To remit the Punishment of such Crimes was, he said, to encou­rage them. He enlarged much on the Correcti­on of Children, and quoted many Texts from Solomon, and others; which being to be found in so many other Books, shall not be found here. He then applied himself to the Vice of Lying, on which Head he was altogether as learned as he had been on the o­ther.

Square said, he had been endeavouring to reconcile the Behaviour of Tom with his Idea of perfect Virtue; but could not. He owned there was something which at first Sight appeared like Fortitude in the Ac­tion, but as Fortitude was a Virtue, and Falshood a Vice, they could by no means agree or unite together. He added, that as this was in some measure to confound Virtue and Vice, it might be worth Mr. Thwackum's Considerations, whether a larger Castigation might not be laid on, upon that Account.

[Page 114] As both these learned Men concurred in censuring Jones, so were they no less unanimous in applauding Master Blifil. To bring Truth to light, was by the Parson asserted to be the Duty of every religious Man; and by the Philosopher this was declared to be highly conformable with the Rule of Right, and the eternal and unalterable Fitness of Things.

All this, however, weighed very little with Mr. Allworthy. He could not be prevailed on to sign the Warrant for the Execution of Jones. There was something within his own Breast with which the in­vincible Fidelity which that Youth had preserved, corresponded much better than it had done with the Religion of Thwackum, or with the Virtue of Square. He therefore strictly ordered the former of these Gen­tlemen to abstain from laying violent Hands on Tom for what had past. The Pedagogue was obliged to obey those Orders; but not without great Reluctance, and frequent Mutterings, that the Boy would be cer­tainly spoiled.

Towards the Game-keeper the good Man behaved with more Severity. He presently summoned that poor Fellow before him, and after many bitter Re­monstrances, paid him his Wages, and dismist him from his Service; for Mr. Allworthy rightly observed that there was great Difference between being guilty of a Falsehood to excuse yourself, and to excuse a­nother. He likewise urged, as the principal Motive to his inflexible Severity against this Man, that he had basely suffered Tom Jones to undergo so heavy a Punishment for his Sake, whereas he ought to have prevented it by making the Discovery himself.

When this Story became public, many people differ­ed from Square and Thwackum, in judging the Conduct of the two Lads on the Occasion. Master Blifil was generally called a sneaking Rascal, a poor-spirited Wretch; with other Epithets of the like Kind; whilst Tom was honoured with the Appellations of a [Page 115] brave Lad, a Jolly Dog, and an honest Fellow. In­deed his Behaviour to Black George much ingratiated him with all the Servants; for though that Fellow was before universally disliked, yet he was no sooner turn­ed away than he was as universally pitied; and the Friendship and Gallantry of Tom Jones was celebrated by them all with the highest Applause; and they con­demned Master Blifil, as openly as they durst, with­out incurring the Danger of offending his Mother. For all this, however, poor Tom smarted in the Flesh; for though Thwackum had been inhibited to exercise his Arm on the foregoing Account; yet, as the Pro­verb says, It is easy to find a Stick, &c. So was it easy to find a Rod; and, indeed, the not being able to find one was the only thing which could have kept Thwackum any long Time from chastising poor Jones.

Had the bare Delight in the Sport been the only Inducement to the Pedagogue, it is probable, Mas­ter Blifil would likewise have had his Share; but though Mr. Allworthy had given him frequent Orders to make no Difference between the Lads, yet was Thwackum altogether as kind and gentle to this Youth, as he was harsh, nay even barbarous, to the other. To say the Truth, Blifil had greatly gained his Ma­ster's Affections; partly by the profound Respect he always shewed his Person, but much more by the decent Reverence with which he received his Doc­trine; for he had got by Heart, and frequently re­peated his Phrases, and maintained all his Master's religious Principles with a Zeal which was surprising in one so young, and which greatly endeared him to the worthy Preceptor.

Tom Jones, on the other hand, was not only de­ficient in outward Tokens of Respect, often forget­ting to pull off his Hat, or to bow at his Master's Approach; but was altogether as unmindful both of his Master's Precepts and Example. He was indeed [Page 116] a thoughtless, giddy Youth, with little Sobriety in his Manners, and less in his Countenance; and would often very impudently and indecently laugh at his Companion for his serious Behaviour.

Mr. Square had the same Reason for his Preference of the former Lad; for Tom Jones shewed no more Regard to the learned Discourses which this Gentle­man would sometimes throw away upon him, than to those of Thwackum. He once ventured to make a Jest of the Rule of Right; and at another Time said, He believed there was no Rule in the World capable of making such a Man as his Father, (for so Mr. All­worthy suffered himself to be called.)

Master Blifil, on the contrary, had Address enough at sixteen to recommend himself at one and the same Time to both these Opposites. With one he was all Religion, with the other he was all Virtue. And when both were present, he was profoundly silent, which both interpreted in his Favour and their own.

Nor was Blifil contented with flattering both these Gentlemen to their Faces; he took frequent Occa­sions of praising them behind their Backs to Allwor­thy; before whom, when they were alone together, and when his Uncle commended any religious or vir­tuous Sentiment (for many such came constantly from him) he seldom failed to ascribe it to the good In­structions he had received from either Thwackum or Square: For he knew his Uncle repeated all such Com­pliments to the Persons for whose Use they were meant; and he found by Experience the great Im­pressions which they made on the Philosopher, as well as on the Divine: For, to say the Truth, there is no kind of Flattery so irresistible as this, at second Hand.

The young Gentleman, moreover, soon perceived how extremely grateful all those Panegyricks on his Instructors were to Mr. Allworthy himself, as they so loudly resounded the Praise of that singular Plan of [Page 117] Education which he had laid down: For this worthy Man having observed the imperfect Institution of our public Schools, and the many Vices which Boys were there liable to learn, had resolved to educate his Ne­phew, as well as the other Lad, whom he had in a Manner adopted, in his own House; where he thought their Morals would escape all that Danger of being corrupted, to which they would be unavoidably ex­posed in any public School or University.

Having therefore determined to commit these Boys to the Tuition of a private Tutor, Mr. Thwackum was recommended to him for that Office, by a very particular Friend, of whose Understanding Mr. All­worthy had a great Opinion, and in whose Integrity he placed much Confidence. This Thwackum was Fellow of a College, where he almost entirely resid­ed; and had a great Ruputation for Learning, Re­ligion and Sobriety of Manners. And these were doubtless the Qualifications by which Mr. Allwor­thy's Friend had been induced to recommend him; tho' indeed this Friend had some Obligations to Thwackum's Family, who were the most considerable Persons in a Borough which that Gentleman repre­sented in Parliament.

Thwackum, at his first Arrival, was extremely a­greeable to Allworthy; and indeed he perfectly an­swered the Character which had been given of him. Upon longer Acquaintance, however, and more inti­mate Conversation, this worthy Man saw Infirmities in the Tutor, which he could have wished him to have been without; tho' as those seemed greatly over­ballanced by his good Qualities, they did not incline Mr. Allworthy to part with him; nor would they indeed have justified such a Proceeding: For the Rea­der is greatly mistaken, if he conceives that Thwack­um appeared to Mr. Allworthy in the same Light as he doth to him in this History; and he is as much de­ceived, if he imagines, that the most intimate Ac­quaintenance [Page 118] which he himself could have had with that Divine, would have informed him of those Things which we, from our Inspiration, are enabled to open and discover. Of Readers who from such Conceits as these, condemn the Wisdom or Penetration of Mr. Allworthy, I shall not scruple to say, that they make a very bad and ungrateful Use of that Know­ledge which we have communicated to them.

These apparent Errors in the Doctrine of Thwack­um, served greatly to palliate the contrary Errors in that of Square, which our good Man no less saw and condemned. He thought indeed that the diffe­rent Exuberancies of these Gentlemen, would correct their different Imperfections; and that from both, especially with his Assistance, the two Lads would derive sufficient Precepts of true Religion and Virtue. If the Event happened contrary to his Expectations, this possibly proceeded from some Fault in the Plan itself; which the Reader hath my Leave to discover, if he can. For we do not pretend to introduce any in­fallible Characters into this History; where we hope nothing will be found which never hath yet been seen in human Nature.

To return therefore; the Reader will not, I think, wonder that the different Behaviour of the two Lads above commemorated, produced the different Effects, of which he hath already seen some Instance; and be­sides this, there was another Reason for the Conduct of the Philosopher and the Pedagogue; but this being Matter of great Importance, we shall reveal it in the next Chapter.

CHAP. VI.

Containing a better Reason still for the before-mention­ed Opinions.

IT is to be known then, that those two learned Per­sonages, who have lately made a considerable Fi­gure [Page 119] on the Theatre of this History, had from their [...]rst Arrival at Mr. Allworthy's House, taken so great [...]n Affection, the one to his Virtue, the other to his Religion, that they had meditated the closest Alliance with him.

For this Purpose they had cast their Eyes on that [...]air Widow, whom, tho' we have not for some Time made any mention of her, the Reader, we trust, hath not forgot. Mrs. Blifil was indeed the Object to which they both aspired.

It may seem remarkable that of four Persons whom we have commemorated at Mr. Allworthy's House; three of them should fix their Inclinations on a La­dy who was never greatly celebrated for her Beauty, and who was, moreover, now a little descended in­to the Vale of Years; but in reality, Bosom Friends, and intimate Acquaintance, have a kind of natural Pro­pensity to particular Females at the House of a Friend; viz. to his Grand-mother, Mother, Sister, Daugh­ter, Aunt, Neice and Cousin, when they are rich, and to his Wife, Sister, Daughter, Neice, Cousin, Mistress or Servant Maid, if they should be hand­some.

We would not, however, have our Reader ima­gine, that Persons of such Characters as were support­ed by Thwackum and Square, would undertake a Matter of this Kind, which hath been a little censured by some rigid Moralists, before they had thoroughly examined it, and considered whether it was (as Shakespear phrases it) 'Stuff, o' th' Conscience' or no. Thwackum was encouraged to the Undertaking, by reflecting, that to court your Neighbour's Sister is no where forbidden, and he knew it was a Rule in the Construction of all Laws, that "Expressum facit cessare Tacitum," the Sense of which is, 'When a Law-giver sets down plainly his whole Meaning, we are prevent­ed from making him mean what we please our­selves.' As some Instances of Women, there­fore, [Page 120] are mentioned in the divine Law, which for­bids us to covet our Neighbours Goods, and that of a Sister omitted, he concluded it to be lawful. And as to Square, who was in his Person what is called a jolly Fellow, or a Widow's Man, he easily recon­ciled his Choice to the eternal Fitness of Things.

Now, as both these Gentlemen were industrious in taking every Opportunity of recommending them­selves to the Widow, they apprehended one certain Method was, by giving her Son the constant Prefe­rence to the other Lad; and as they conceived the Kindness and Affection which Mr. Allworthy shewed the latter, must be highly disagreeable to her, they doubted not but the laying hold on all Occasions to degrade and villify him, would be highly pleasing to her; who, as she hated the Boy, must love all those who did him any hurt. In this Thwackum had the Advantage; for while Square could only scarify the poor Lad's Reputation, he could flea his Skin; and indeed he considered every Lash he gave him as a Compliment paid to his Mistress; so that he could with the utmost Propriety repeat this old flogging Line, "Castigo te non quod odio habeam, sed quod AMEM; I chastise thee not out of Hatred, but out of Love." And this indeed he often had in his Mouth, or rather, according to the old Phrase, never more properly applied, at his Fingers Ends.

For this Reason principally, the two Gentlemen concurred, as we have seen above, in their Opinion concerning the two Lads; this being indeed almost the only Instance of their concurring on any Point: For besides the Difference of their Principles, they had both long ago strongly suspected each others De­sign, and hated one another with no little Degree of Inveteracy.

This mutual Animosity was a good deal increased by their alternate Successes: For Mrs. Blifil knew what they would be at long before they imagined it; [Page 121] or indeed intended she should: For they proceeded with great Caution lest she should be offended, and ac­quaint Mr. Allworthy; but they had no Reason for any such Fear. She was well enough pleased with a Passion of which she intended none should have any Fruits but herself. And the only Fruits she designed for herself were Flattery and Courtship; for which Purpose, she soothed them by Turns, and a long Time equally. She was indeed rather inclined to favour the Parson's Principles; but Square's Person was more agreeable to her Eye; for he was a comely Man; whereas the Pedagogue did in Countenance very nearly resemble that Gentleman, who in the Harlot's Progress is seen correcting the Ladies in Bridewel.

Whether Mrs. Blifil had been surfeited with the Sweets of Marriage, or disgusted by its Bitters, or from what other Cause it proceeded, I will not de­termine; but she could never be brought to listen to any second Proposals. However, she at last convers­ed with Square, with such a Degree of Intimacy, that malicious Tongues began to whisper Things of her, to which, as well for the Sake of the Lady, as that they were highly disagreeable to the Rule of Right, and the Fitness of Things, we will give no Credit; and therefore shall not blot our Paper with them. The Pedagogue, 'tis certain, whipt on without get­ting a Step nearer to his Journey's End.

Indeed he had committed a great Error, and that Square discovered much sooner than himself. Mrs. Blifl (as perhaps the Readers may have formerly guess'd) was not over and above pleased with the Be­haviour of her Husband; nay to be honest, she abso­lutely hated him, till his Death at last a little reconciled him to her Affections. It will not be therefore great­ly wondered at, if she had not the most violent Re­gard to the Offspring she had by him. And, in fact, he had so little of this Regard, that in his Infancy she [Page 122] seldom saw her Son, or took any Notice of him; and hence she acquiesced, after a little Reluctance, in all the Favours which Mr. Allworthy showered on the Foundling; whom the good Man called his own Boy, and in all Things put on an intire Equality with Master Blifil. This Acquiescence in Mrs. Blifil was considered by the Neighbours, and by the Family, as a Mark of her Condescension to her Brother's Hu­mour, and she was imagined by all others, as well as Thwackum and Square, to hate the Foundling in her Heart; nay, the more Civility she shewed him, the more they conceived she detested him, and the surer Schemes she was laying for his Ruin: For as they thought it her Interest to hate him, it was very diffi­cul for her to perswade them she did not.

Thwackum was the more confirmed in his Opinion, as she had more than once caused him to whip Tom Jones, when Mr. Allworthy, who was an Enemy to this Exercise, was abroad; whereas she had never given any such Orders concerning young Blifil. And this had likewise imposed upon Square. In reality, though she certainly hated her own Son; of which, however monstrous it appears, I am assured she is not a singular Instance, she appeared, notwithstand­ing all her outward Compliance, to be in her Heart sufficiently displeased with all the Favour shewn by Mr. Allworthy to the Foundling. She frequently com­plained of this behind her Brother's Back, and very sharply censured him for it, both to Thwackum and Square; nay, she would throw it in the Teeth of Allworthy himself, when a little Quarrel or Miff, as it is vulgarly called, arose between them.

However, when Tom grew up, and gave Tokens of that Gallantry of Temper which greatly recom­mends Men to Women, this Disinclination which she had discovered to him when a Child, by Degrees abated, and at last she so evidently demonstrated her Affection to him to be much stronger than what she [Page 123] bore her own Son, that it was impossible to mistake her any longer. She was so desirous of often seeing him, and discovered such Satisfaction and Delight in his Company, that before he was eighteen Years old, he was become a Rival to both Square and Thwackum; and what is worse, the whole Country began to talk as loudly of her Inclination to Tom, as they had be­fore done of that which she had shewn to Square; on which Account the Philosopher conceived the most [...]mplacable Hatred for our poor Hero.

CHAP. VII.

In which the Author himself makes his Appearance on the Stage.

THO' Mr. Allworthy was not of himself hasty to see Things in a Disadvantageous Light, and was a Stranger to the public Voice, which seldom reaches to a Brother or a Husband, tho' it rings in the Ears of all the Neighbourhood; yet was this Af­fection of Mrs. Blifil to Tom, and the Preference which she too visibly gave him to her own Son, of the utmost Disadvantage to that Youth.

For such was the Compassion which inhabited Mr. Allworthy's Mind, that nothing but the Steel of Jus­tice could ever subdue it. To be unfortunate in any Respect was sufficient, if there was no Demerit to counterpoise it, to turn the Scale of that good Man's Pity, and to engage his Friendship, and his Benefac­tion.

When therefore he plainly saw Master Blifil was ab­solutely detested (for that he was) by his own Mother, he began, on that Account only, to look with an Eye of Compassion upon him; and what the Effects of Compassion are in good and benevolent Minds, I need not here explain to most of my Readers.

Henceforward, he saw every Appearance of Vir­tue in the Youth thro' the magnifying End, and view­ed [Page 124] all his Faults with the Glass inverted, so that they became scarce perceptible. And this perhaps the a­miable Temper of Pity may make commendable; but the next Step the Weakness of human Nature a­lone must excuse: For he no sooner perceived that Preference which Mrs. Blifil gave to Tom, than that poor Youth, (however innocent) began to sink in his Affections as he rose in hers. This, it is true, would of itself alone never have been able to eradicate Jones from his Bosom; but it was greatly injurious to him, and prepared Mr. Allworthy's Mind, for those Im­pressions, which afterwards produced the mighty E­vent, that will be contained hereafter in this History; and to which, it must be confest, the unfortunate Lad, by his own Wantonness, Wildness, and want of Caution, too much contributed.

In recording some Instances of these, we shall, if rightly understood, afford a very useful Lesson to those well-disposed Youths, who shall hereafter be our Readers: For they may here find that Goodness of Heart, and Openness of Temper, tho' these may give them great Comfort within, and administer to an honest Pride in their own Minds, will by no Means, alas! do their Business in the World. Prudence and Circumspection are necessary even to the best of Men. They are indeed as it were a Guard to Virtue, without which she can never be safe. It is not enough tha [...] your Designs, nay that your Actions are intrinsically good, you must take Care they shall appear so. If you [...] Inside be never so beautiful, you must preserve a fai [...] Outside also. This must be constantly looked to, o [...] Malice and Envy will take Care to blacken it so, tha [...] the Sagacity and Goodness of an Allworthy will not be able to see through it, and to discern the Beauties within. Let this, my younger Readers, be you [...] constant Maxim, That no Man can be good enough to enable him to neglect the Rules of Prudence; not will Virtue herself look beautiful, unless she be be+ [Page 125] decked with the outward Ornaments of Decency and Decorum. And this Precept, my worthy Disciples, if you read with due Attention, you will, I hope, find sufficiently enforced by Examples in the follow­ing Pages.

I ask Pardon for this short Appearance, by way of Chorus on the Stage. It is in Reality for my own Sake, that while I am discovering the Rocks on which Innocence and Goodness often split, I may not be misunderstood to recommend the very Means to my worthy Readers, by which I intend to shew them they will be undone. And this as I could not prevail on any of my Actors to speak, I was obliged to declare my self.

CHAP. VIII.

A childish Incident, in which, however, is seen a good natur'd Disposition in Tom Jones.

THE Reader may remember, that Mr. Allworthy gave Tom Jones a little Horse, as a kind of smart Money for the Punishment, which he imagined he had suffered innocently.

This Horse Tom kept above half a Year, and then rode him to a neighbouring Fair, and sold him.

At his Return, being questioned by Thwackum, what he had done with the Money for which the Horse was sold, he frankly declared he would not tell him.

Oho! says Thwackum, you will not! then I will have it out of your Br—h; that being the Place to which he always applied for Information, on every doubtful Occasion.

Tom was now mounted on the Back of a Footman, and every Thing prepared for Execution, when Mr. Allworthy entering the Room, gave the Criminal a Reprieve, and took him with him into another Apart­ment; where Mr. Allworthy being only present with Tom, he put the same Question to him which Thwack­um had before asked him.

[Page 126] Tom answered, He could in Duty refuse him no­thing; but as for that tyrannical Rascal, he would ne­ver make him any other Answer than with a Cudgel, with which he hoped soon to be able to pay him for all his Barbarities.

Mr. Allworthy very severely reprimanded the Lad, for his indecent and disrespectful Expressions concern­ing his Master; but much more for his avowing an Intention of Revenge. He threatened him with the entire Loss of his Favour, if he ever heard such ano­ther Word from his Mouth; for he said, he would never support or befriend a Reprobate. By these and the like Declarations, he extorted some Compunction from Tom, in which that Youth was not over sincere: For he really meditated some Return for all the smart­ing Favours he had received at the Hands of the Peda­gogue. He was, however, brought by Mr. Allworthy to express a Concern for his Resentment against Thwackum; and then the good Man, after some wholesome Admonition, permitted him to proceed, which he did, as follows.

'Indeed, my dear Sir, I love and honour you more than all the World; I know the great Obligati­ons I have to you, and should detest myself, if I thought my Heart was capable of Ingratitude. Could the little Horse you gave me speak, I am sure he could tell you how fond I was of your Pre­sent: For I had more Pleasure in feeding him, than in riding him. Indeed, Sir, it went to my Heart to part with him; nor would I have sold him upon any other Account in the World than what I did. You yourself, Sir, I am convinced in my Case, would have done the same: For none ever so sensibly felt the Misfortunes of others. What would you feel, dear Sir, if you thought yourself the Occasion of them?—Indeed, Sir, there was never any Misery like theirs.—Like whose, Child," says Allworthy, what do you mean? Oh, Sir,' answered Tom, [Page 127] your poor Game-keeper, with all his large Family, ever since your discarding him, have been perishing with all the Miseries of Cold and Hunger. I could not bear to see these poor Wretches naked and starv­ing, and at the same Time know myself to have been the Occasion of all their Sufferings.—I could not bear it, Sir, upon my Soul, I could not." (here the Tears run down his Cheeks, and he thus proceeded) 'It was to save them from absolute De­struction, I parted with your dear Present, notwith­standing all the Value I had for it.—I sold the Horse for them, and they have every Farthing of the Money.'

Mr. Allworthy now stood silent for some Moments, and before he spoke, the Tears started from his Eyes. He at length dismissed Tom with a gentle Rebuke, ad­vising him for the future to apply to him in Cases of Distress, rather than to use extraordinary Means of relieving them himself.

This Affair was afterwards the Subject of much Debate between Thwackum and Square. Thwackum held, that this was flying in Mr. Allworthy's Face, who had intended to punish the Fellow for his Disobedience. He said, in some Instances, what the World called Charity appeared to him to be opposing the Will of the Almighty, which had marked some particular Persons for Destruction; and that this was in like manner acting in Opposition to Mr. Allworthy; concluding, as usual, with a hearty Recommendation of Birch.

Square argued strongly, on the other Side, in Oppo­sition perhaps to Thwackum, or in Compliance with Mr. Allworthy, who seemed very much to approve what Jones had done. As to what he urged on this Oc­casion, as I am convinced most of my Readers will be much abler Advocates for poor Jones, it would be im­pertinent to relate it. Indeed it was not difficult to re­concile to the Rule of Right, an Action which it would have been impossible to deduce from the Rule of Wrong.

CHAP. IX.

Containing an Incident of a more heinous Kind, with the Comments of Thwackum and Square.

IT hath been observed by some Man of much grea­ter Reputation for Wisdom than myself, that Mis­fortunes seldom come single. An Instance of this may, I believe, be seen in those Gentlemen who have the Misfortune to have any of their Rogueries detect­ed: For here Discovery seldom stops till the whole is come out. Thus it happened to poor Tom; who was no sooner pardoned for selling the Horse, than he was discovered to have some time before sold a fine Bible which Mr. Allworthy gave him, the Money arising from which Sale he had disposed in the same Manner. This Bible Master Blifil had purchased, though he had already such another of his own, partly out of respect for the Book, and partly out of Friend­ship to Tom, being unwilling that the Bible should be sold out of the Family at half Price. He therefore deposited the said half Price himself; for he was a very prudent Lad, and so careful of his Money, that he had laid up almost every Penny which he had re­ceived from Mr. Allworthy.

Some People have been noted to be able to read in no Book but their own. On the contrary, from the Time when Master Blifil was first possessed of this Bible, he never used any other. Nay, he was seen reading in it much oftner than he had before been in his own. Now, as he frequently asked Thwackum to explain difficult Passages to him, that Gentleman unfortunately took Notice of Tom's Name, which was written in many Parts of the Book. This brought on an Enquiry, which obliged Master Blifil to disco­ver the whole Matter.

Thwackum was resolved, a Crime of this Kind, which he called Sacrilege, should not go unpunished. [Page 129] He therefore proceeded immediately to Castigation; and not contented with that, he acquainted Mr. All­worthy, at their next Meeting, with this monstrous Crime, as it appeared to him; inveighing against Tom in the most bitter Terms, and likening him to the Buyers and Sellers who were driven out of the Temple.

Square saw this Matter in a very different Light. He said, He could not perceive any higher Crime in selling one Book, than in selling another. That to sell Bibles was strictly lawful by all Laws both di­vine and human, and consequently there was no Un­fitness in it. He told Thwackum that his great Con­cern on this Occasion brought to his Mind the Story of a very devout Woman, who out of pure Regard to Religion, stole Tillotson's Sermons from a Lady of her Acquaintance.

This Story caused a vast Quantity of Blood to rush into the Parson's Face, which of itself was none of the palest; and he was going to reply with great Warmth and Anger, had not Mrs. Blifil, who was present at this Debate, interposed. That Lady de­clared herself absolutely of Mr. Square's Side. She argued, indeed, very learnedly in Support of his Opinion; and concluded with saying, If Tom had been guilty of any Fault, she must confess her own Son appeared to be equally culpable; for that she could see no Difference between the Buyer and the Seller; both of whom were alike to be driven out of the Temple.

Mrs. Blifil having declared her Opinion, put an End to the Debate. Square's Triumph would almost have stopt his Words, had he needed them; and Thwackum, besides that, for Reasons before-men­tioned, he durst not venture at disobliging the Lady, was almost choaked with Indignation. As to Mr. Allworthy, he said, Since the Boy had been already punished, he would not deliver his Sentiments on the [Page 130] Occasion; and whether he was, or was not angry with the Lad, I must leave to the Reader's own Conjecture.

Soon after this, an Action was brought against the Game-keeper by 'Squire Western (the Gentleman in whose Manor the Partridge was killed) for De­predations of the like Kind. This was a most unfor­tunate Circumstance for the Fellow, as it not only of itself threatened his Ruin, but actually prevented Mr. Allworthy from restoring him to his Favour: For as that Gentleman was walking out one Evening with Master Blifil and young Jones, the latter slily drew him to the Habitation of Black George; where the Family of that poor Wretch, namely, his Wife and Children, were found in all the Misery with which Cold, Hunger, and Nakedness, can affect human Creatures: For as to the Money they had received from Jones, former Debts had consumed almost the whole.

Such a Scene as this could not fail of affecting the Heart of Mr. Allworthy. He immediately gave the Mother a couple of Guineas, with which he bid her cloath her Children. The poor Woman burst into Tears at this Goodness, and while she was thanking him, could not refrain from expressing her Gratitude to Tom; who had, she said, long preserved both her and hers from starving. We have not, says she, had a Morsel to eat, nor have these poor Children had a Rag to put on, but what his Goodness hath bestowed on us: For indeed, besides the Horse and the Bible, Tom had sacrificed a Night-gown and other Things to the Use of this distressed Family.

On their Return home, Tom made use of all his Eloquence to display the Wretchedness of these Peo­ple, and the Penitence of Black George himself, and in this he succeeded so well, that Mr. Allworthy said He thought the Man had suffered enough for what was past; that he would forgive him, and think of some Means of providing for him and his Family.

Jones was so delighted with this News, that though [Page 131] it was dark when they returned home, he could not help going back a Mile in a Shower of Rain to ac­quaint the poor Woman with the glad Tidings; but, like other hasty Divulgers of News, he only brought on himself the Trouble of contradicting it: For the Ill-fortune of Black George made use of the very Opportunity of his Friend's Absence to overturn all again.

CHAP. X.

In which Master Blifil and Jones appear in different Lights.

MASTER Blifil fell very short of his Compa­nion in the amiable Quality of Mercy; but he as greatly exceeded him in one of a much higher Kind, namely, in Justice: In which he followed both the Precepts and example of Thwackum and Square; for though they would both make frequent Use of the Word Mercy, yet it was plain, that in reality Square held it to be inconsistent with the Rule of Right; and Thwackum was for doing Justice, and leaving Mer­cy to Heaven. The two Gentlemen did indeed some­what differ in Opinion concerning the Objects of this sublime Virtue; by which Thwackum would probably have destroyed one half of Mankind, and Square the other half.

Master Blifil then, though he had kept Silence in the Presence of Jones, yet when he had better con­sidered the Matter, he could by no Means endure the Thought of suffering his Uncle to confer Favours on the Undeserving. He therefore resolved im­mediately to acquaint him with the Fact which we have above slightly hinted to the Readers. The Truth of which was as follows:

The Game-keeper, about a Year after he was dis­missed from Mr. Allworthy's Service, and before Tom's selling the Horse, being in Want of Bread, either to fill his own Mouth, or those of his Family, [Page 132] as he passed through a Field belonging to Mr. Western, espied a Hare sitting in her Form. This Hare he had basely and barbarously knocked on the Head, against the Laws of the Land, and no less against the Laws of Sportsmen.

The Higler to whom the Hare was sold, being unfortunately taken many Months after with a Quan­tity of Game upon him, was obliged to make his Peace with the 'Squire by becoming Evidence against some Poacher. And now Black George was pitched upon by him as being a Person already obnoxious to Mr. Western, and one of no good Fame in the Coun­try. He was, besides, the best Sacrifice the Higler could make, as he had supplied him with no Game since; and by this Means the Witness had an Oppor­tunity of screening his better Customers: For the 'Squire, being charmed with the Power of Punishing Black George, whom a single Transgression was suffi­cient to ruin, made no further Enquiry.

Had this Fact been truly laid before Mr. Allworthy, it might probably have done the Game-keeper very lit­tle Mischief. But there is no Zeal blinder than that which is inspired with the Love of Justice against Of­fenders. Master Blifil had forgot the Distance of the Time. He varied likewise in the Manner of the Fact; and, by the hasty Addition of the single Letter S, he considerably altered the Story; for he said that George had wired Hares. These Alterations might probably have been set right, had not Master Blifil unluckily insisted on a Promise of Secrecy from Mr. Allworthy, before he revealed the Matter to him; but by that Means, the poor Game-keeper was condemned, without having any Opportunity to defend himself: For as the Fact of killing the Hare, and of the Acti­on brought, were certainly true, Mr. Allworthy had no Doubt concerning the rest.

Short-lived then was the Joy of these poor People; for Mr. Allworthy the next Morning declared he had [Page 133] fresh Reason, without assigning it, for his Anger, and strictly forbad Tom to mention George any more; though as for his Family, he said, he would endeavour to keep them from starving; but as to the Fellow him­self, he would leave him to the Laws, which nothing could keep him from breaking.

Tom could by no Means divine what had incensed Mr. Allworthy: For of Master Blifil he had not the least Suspicion. However, as his Friendship was to be tired out by no Disappointments, he now determined to try another Method of preserving the poor Game-keeper from Ruin.

Jones was lately grown very intimate with Mr. Western. He had so greatly recommended himself to that Gentleman, by leaping over five-barred Gates, and by other Acts of Sportmanship, that the Squire had declared Tom would certainly make a great Man, if he had but sufficient Encouragement. He often wished he had himself a Son with such Parts; and one Day very solemnly asserted at a drinking Bout, that Tom should hunt a Pack of Hounds for a thousand Pound of his Money with any Huntsman in the whole County.

By such kind of Talents he had so ingratiated him­self with the Squire, that he was a most welcome Guest at his Table, and a favourite Companion in his Sport: Every Thing which the Squire held most dear, to wit, his Guns, Dogs, and Horses, were now as much at the Command of Jones, as if they had been his own. He resolved therefore to make use of this Favour on Behalf of his Friend Black George, whom he hoped to introduce into Mr. Western's Family in the same Capacity in which he had before served Mr. Allworthy.

The Reader, if he considers that this Fellow was al­ready obnoxious to Mr. Western, and if he considers farther the weighty Business by which that Gentle­man's Displeasure had been incurred, will perhaps [Page 134] condemn this as a foolish and desperate Undertaking; but if he should not totally condemn young Jones on that Account, he will greatly applaud him for strength­ening himself with all imaginable Interest on so ardu­ous an Occasion.

For this Purpose then Tom applied to Mr. Western's Daughter, a young Lady of about seventeen Years of Age, whom her Father, next after those necessary Implements of Sport just before mentioned, loved and esteemed above all the World. Now as she had some Influence on the Squire, so Tom had some In­fluence on her. But this being the intended Heroine of this Work, a Lady with whom we are ourselves great­ly in Love, and with whom many of our Rea­ders will probably be in Love too before we part, it is by no Means proper she should make her Appear­ance at the End of a Book.

THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING.
BOOK IV.

Containing the Time of a Year.

CHAP. I.

Containing four Pages of Paper.

AS Truth distinguishes our Writings from those idle Romances which are filled with Monsters, the Productions, not of nature, but of distempered Brains; and which have been therefore recommended by an eminent Critic to the sole Use of the Pastry-Cook: So, on the other hand, we would avoid any Resemblance to that Kind of History which a ce­lebrated Poet seems to think is no less calculated for the Emolument of the Brewer, as the reading of it should be always attended with a Tankard of good Ale.

While—History with her Comrade Ale,
Sooths the sad Series of her serious Tale.

For as this is the Liquor of modern Historians, nay, perhaps their Muse, if we may believe the O­pinion of Butler, who attributes inspiration to Ale, it ought likewise to be the Potation of their Readers; [Page 136] since every Book ought to be read with the same Spirit, and in the same manner, as it is writ. Thus the famous Author of Hurlothrumbo told a learned Bishop, that the Reason his Lordship could not taste the Excellence of his Piece, was that he did not read it with a Fiddle in his Hand; which Instrument he himself always had in his own, when he compo­sed it.

That our Work, therefore, might be in no Danger of being likened to the Labours of these Historians, we have taken every Occasion of interspersing through the whole sundry Similies, Descriptions, and other kind of poetical Embellishments. These are indeed, designed to supply the Place of the said Ale, and to refresh the Mind, whenever those Slumbers which in a long Work are apt to invade the Reader as well the Writer, shall begin to creep upon him. With­out Interruptions of this Kind, the best Narrative of plain Matter of Fact must overpower every Reader; for nothing but the everlasting Watchfulness, which Homer hath ascribed to Jove himself, can be Proof against a News Paper of many Volumes.

We shall leave to the Reader to determine with what Judgment we have chosen the several Occasions for inserting these ornamental Parts of our Work. Surely it will be allowed that none could be more proper than the present; where we are about to in­troduce a considerable Character on the Scene; no less, indeed, than the Heroine of this Heroic, Hi­storical, Prosaic Poem. Here, therefore, we have thought proper to prepare the Mind of the Reader for her Reception, by filling it with every pleasing Image, which we can draw from the Face of Nature. And for this Method we plead many Precedents. First, this is an Art well known to, and much practised by, our Tragic Poets; who seldom fail to prepare their Audience for the Reception of their principal Characters.

[Page 137] Thus the Heroe is always introduced with a flou­rish of Drums and Trumpets, in order to rouse a martial Spirit in the Audience, and to accommodate their Ears to Bombast and Fustian, which Mr. Lock's blind Man would not have grossly erred in likening to the Sound of a Trumpet. Again, when Lovers are coming forth, soft Music often conducts them on the Stage, either to sooth the Audience with all the Softness of the tender Passion, or to lull or prepare them for that gentle Slumber in which they will most probably be composed by the ensuing Scene.

And not only the Poets, but the Masters of these Poets, the Managers of Play-houses, seem to be in this Secret; for, besides the aforesaid Kettle Drums, &c. which denote the Heroe's Approach, he is ge­neraly ushered on the Stage by a large Troop of half a dozen Scene-shifters; and how necessary these are imagined to his Appearance, may be concluded from the following Theatrical Story.

King Pyrrhus was at Dinner at an Ale-house bor­dering on the Theatre, when he was summoned to go on the Stage. The Heroe, being unwilling to quit his Shoulder of Mutton, and as unwilling to draw on himself the Indignation of Mr. Wilks, (his Brother Manager) for making the Audience wait, had bribed these his Harbingers to be out of the Way. While Mr. Wilks, therefore, was thundering out, ‘'Where are the Carpenters to walk on before King Pyrrhus,' that Monarch very quietly eat his Mutton, and the Audience, however impatient, were obliged to en­tertain themselves with Music in his Absence.

To be plain, I much question whether the Politi­cian, who hath generally a good Nose, hath not scented out somewhat of the Utility of this Practice. I am convinced that awful Magistrate my Lord May­or contracts a good deal of that Reverence which at­tends him through the Year, by the several Pageants who precede his Pomp. Nay, I must confess, that [Page 138] even I myself, who am not remarkably liable to be captivated with Show, have yielded not a little to the Impressions of much preceding State. When I have seen a Man strutting in a Procession, after others whose Business hath been only to walk before him, I have conceived a higher Notion of his Dignity, than I have felt on seeing him in a common Situation. But there is one Instance which comes exactly up to my Purpose. This is the Custom of sending on a Bas­ket-woman, who is to precede the Pomp at a Coro­nation, and to strew the Stage with Flowers, before the great Personages begin their Procession. The Antients would certainly have invoked the Goddess Flora for this Purpose, and it would have been no Dif­ficulty for their Priests or Politicians to have persuad­ed the People of the real Presence of the Deity, though a plain Mortal had personated her, and per­formed her Office. But we have no such Design of imposing on our Reader, and therefore those who ob­ject to the Heathen Theology, may, if they please, change our Goddess into the above-mentioned Bas­ket-woman. Our Intention, in short, is to intro­duce our Heroine with the utmost Solemnity in our Power, with an Elevation of Stile, and all other Cir­cumstances proper to raise the Veneration of our Rea­der. Indeed we would, for certain Causes, advise those of our Male Readers who have any Hearts, to read no farther, were we not well assured, that how amiable soever the Picture of our Heroine will appear, as it is really a Copy from Nature, many of our fair Country-women will be found worthy to satisfy any Passion, and to answer any Idea of Female Perfecti­on, which our Pencil will be able to raise.

And now, without any further Preface, we pro­ceed to our next Chapter.

CHAP. II.

A short Hint of what we can do in the Sublime, and a Description of Miss Sophia Western.

HUshed be every ruder Breath. May the Heathen Ruler of the Winds confine in Iron Chains the boisterous Limbs of noisy Boreas, and the sharp-pointed Nose of bitter-biting Eurus. Do thou, sweet Zephyrus, rising from thy fragrant Bed, mount the Western Sky, and lead on those delicious Gales, the Charms of which call forth the lovely Flora from her Chamber, perfumed with pearly Dews, when on the first of June, her Birth-day, the blooming Maid in loose Attire, gently trips it over the verdant Mead, where every Flower rises to do her Homage, till the whole Field becomes enamelled, and Colours contend with Sweets which shall ravish her most.

So charming may shew now appear; and you the feather'd Choristers of Nature, whose sweetest Notes not even Handel can excel, tune your melodious Throats, to celebrate her Appearance. From Love proceeds your Music, and to Love it returns. Awak­en therefore that gentle Passion in every Swain: for lo! adorned with all the Charms in which Na­ture can array her; bedecked with Beauty, Youth, Sprightliness, Innocence, Modesty, and Tenderness, breathing Sweetness from her rosy Lips, and darting Brightness from her sparkling Eyes, the lovely Sophia comes.

Reader, perhaps thou hast seen the Statue of the Venus de Medicis. Perhaps too, thou hast seen the Gallery of Beauties at Hampton Court. Thou may'st remember each bright Churchill of the Gallaxy, and all the Toasts of the Kit-Cat. Or if their Reign was before thy Times, at least thou hast seen their Daugh­ters, the no less dazzling Beauties of the present [Page 140] Age; whose Names, should we here insert, we ap­prehended they would fill the whole Volume.

Now if thou hast seen all these, be not afraid of the rude Answer which Lord Rochester once gave to a Man, who had seen many Things. No. If thou hast seen all these without knowing what Beauty is, thou hast no Eyes; if without feeling its Power, thou hast no Heart.

Yet is it possible, my Friend, that thou mayest have seen all these without being able to form an ex­act Idea of Sophia: for she did not exactly resemble any of them. She was most like the Picture of La­dy Renelagh; and I have heard more still to the fa­mous Dutchess of Mazarine: but most of all, she resembled one whose Image never can depart from my Breast, and whom, if thou dost remember, thou hast then, my Friend, an adequate Idea of Sophia.

But lest this should not have been thy Fortune, we will endeavour with our utmost Skill to describe this Paragon, though we are sensible that our highest Abi­lities are very inadequate to the Task.

Sophia then, the only Daughter of Mr. Western, was a middle-sized Woman; but rather inclining to tall. Her Shape was not only exact, but extreme­ly delicate; and the nice Proportion of her Arms promised the truest Symmetry in her Limbs. Her Hair, which was black, was so luxuriant, that it reached her Middle, before she cut it, to comply with the modern Fashion; and it was now curled so grace­fully in her Neck, that few would believe it to be her own. If Envy could find any Part of her Face which demanded less Commendation than the rest, it might possibly think her Forehead might have been higher without Prejudice to her. Her Eye-brows were full, even, and arched beyond the Power of Art to imi­tate. Her black Eyes had a Lustre in them, which all her Softness could not extinguish. Her Nose was [Page 141] exactly regular, and her Mouth, in which were two Rows of Ivory, exactly answered Sir John Suckling's Description in those Lines.

Her Lips were red, and one was thin,
Compar'd to that was next her Chin.
Some Bee had stung it newly.

Her Cheeks, were of the oval Kind; and in her right she had a Dimple which the least Smile discover­ed. Her Chin had certainly its Share in forming the Beauty of her Face; but it was difficult to say it was either large or small, tho' perhaps it was rather of the former kind. Her Complexion had rather more of the Lilly than of the Rose; but when Exercise, or Modesty, encreased her natural Colour, no Vermilion could equal it. Then one might indeed cry out with the celebrated Dr. Donne.

—Her pure and eloquent Blood
Spoke in her Cheeks, and so distinctly wrought,
That one might almost say her Body thought.

Her Neck was long and finely turned; and here, if I was not afraid of offending her Delicacy, I might justly say, the highest Beauties of the famous Venus de Medicis were outdone. Here was Whiteness which no Lillies, Ivory, nor Alabaster could match. The finest Cambric might indeed be supposed from Envy to cover that Bosom, which was much whiter than itself,—It was indeed,

Nitor splendens Pario marmore purius.

"A Gloss shining beyond the purest Brightness of Parian Marble."

Such was the Outside of Sophia; nor was this beau­tiful Frame disgraced by an Inhabitant unworthy of it. Her Mind was every way equal to her Person; nay, the latter borrowed some Charms from the former: For when she smiled, the Sweetness of her Temper diffused that Glory over her Countenance, which no Regularity of Features can give. But as there are no Perfections of the Mind which do not discover them­selves, [Page 142] in that perfect Intimacy, to which we intend to introduce our Reader, with this charming young Creature; so it is needless to mention them here: Nay, it is a Kind of tacit Affront to our Reader's Understanding, and may also rob him of that Pleasure which he will receive in forming his own Judgment of her Character.

It may however, be proper to say, that whatever mental Accomplishments she had derived from Na­ture, they were somewhat improved and cultivated by Art: for she had been educated under the Care of an Aunt, who was a Lady of great Discretion, and was thoroughly acquainted with the World, having lived in her Youth about the Court, whence she had retir­ed some Years since into the Country. By her Con­versation and Instructions, Sophia was perfectly well­bred, though perhaps she wanted a little of that Ease in her Behaviour, which is to be acquired only by Habit, and living within what is called the polite Cir­cle. But this, to say the Truth, is often too dearly purchased; and though it hath Charms so inexpressible, that the French, perhaps, among other Qualities, mean to express this, when they declare they know not what it is, yet its Absence is well compensated by Innocence; nor can good Sense, and a natural Gen­tility ever stand in need of it.

CHAP. III.

Wherein the History goes back to commemorate a tri­fling Incident that happened some Years since; but which, trifling as it was, had some future Conse­quences.

THE amiable Sophia was now in her eighteenth Year, when she is introduced into this History. Her Father, as hath been said, was fonder of her than of any other human Creature. To her, there­fore, Tom Jones applied, in order to engage her In­terest [Page 143] on the Behalf of his Friend the Game-keeper.

But before we proceed to this Business, a short Re­ [...]apitulation of some previous Matters may be neces­sary.

Though the different Tempers of Mr. Allworthy, and of Mr. Western did not admit of a very intimate Correspondence, yet they lived upon what is called a [...]ecent Footing together; by which Means the young People of both Families had been acquainted from their Infancy; and as they were all near of the same Age, had been frequent Play-mates together.

The Gaiety of Tom's Temper suited better with Sophia, than the grave and sober Disposition of Master Blifil. And the Preference which she gave the for­mer of these, would often appear so plainly, that a Lad of a more passionate Turn than Master Blifil was, might have shewn some Displeasure at it.

As he did not, however, outwardly express any such Disgust, it would be an ill Office in us to pay a Visit to the inmost Recesses of his Mind, as some scandalous People search into the most secret Affairs of their Friends, and often pry into their Closets and Cupboards, only to discover their Poverty and Mean­ness to the World.

However, as Persons who suspect they have given others Cause of Offence, are apt to conclude they are offended; so Sophia imputed an Action of Master Bli­fil, to his Anger, which the superior Sagacity of Thwackum and Square discerned to have arisen from a much better Principle.

Tom Jones, when very young, had presented So­phia with a little Bird, which he had taken from the Nest, had nursed up, and taught to sing.

Of this Bird, Sophia, then about thirteen Years old, was so extremely fond, that her chief Business was to feed and tend it, and her chief Pleasure to play with it. By these Means little Tommy, for so the Bird was called, was become so tame, that it would [Page 144] feed out of the Hand of its Mistress, would perch up on her Finger, and lie contented in her Bosom, where it seemed almost sensible of its own Happiness; tho she always kept a small String about its Leg, no would ever trust it with the Liberty of flying away.

One Day, when Mr. Allworthy and his whole Family, dined at Mr. Western's, Master Blifil, being in the Garden with little Sophia, and observing the extreme Fondness that she shewed for her little Bird, desired her to trust it for a Moment in his Hands. So­phia presently complied with the young Gentleman's Request, and after some previous Caution, delivered him her Bird; of which he was no sooner in Posses­sion, than he slipt the String from its Leg, and tossed it into the Air.

The foolish Animal no sooner perceived itself at Liberty, than forgetting all the Favours it had receiv­ed from Sophia, it flew directly from her, and perch­ed on a Bough at some Distance.

Sophia, seeing her Bird gone, sereamed out so loud, that Tom Jones, who was at a little Distance, imme­diately ran to her Assistance.

He was no sooner informed of what had happened, than he cursed Blifil for a pitiful, malicious Rascal, and then immediately stripping off his Coat, he ap­plied himself to climbing the Tree to which the Bird escaped.

Tom had almost recovered his little Name-sake, when the Branch on which it was perched, and that hung over a Canal, broke, and the poor Lad plump­ed over Head and Ears into the Water.

Sophia's Concern now changed its Object. And as she apprehended the Boy's Life was in Danger, she screamed ten times louder than before; and in­deed Master Blifil himself now seconded her with all the Vociferation in his Power.

The company who were sitting in a Room next the Garden, were instantly alarmed, and came all [Page 145] forth; but just as they reached the Canal, Tom, (for [...]he Water was luckily pretty shallow in that Part) [...]rrived safely on shore.

Thwackum fell violently on poor Tom, who stood dropping and shivering before him, when Mr. All­worthy desired him to have Patience, and turning to [...]aster Blifil, said, Pray, Child, what is the Reason [...]f all this Disturbance?

Master Blifil answered, 'Indeed, Uncle, I am ve­ry sorry for what I have done; I have been unhap­pily the Occasion of it all. I had Miss Sophia's Bird in my Hand, and thinking the poor Creature lan­guished for Liberty, I own, I could not forbear giving it what it desired: for I always thought there was something very cruel in confining any Thing. It seemed to me against the Law of Nature, by which every Thing hath a right to Liberty; nay, it is even unchristian; for it is not doing what we would be done by: But if I had imagined Miss So­phia would have been so much concerned at it, I am sure I would never have done it; nay, if I had known what would have happened to the Bird itself; for when Master Jones, who climbed up the Tree after it, fell into the Water, the Bird took a second Flight, and presently a nasty Hawk carried it away. Poor Sophia, who now first heard of her little Tommy's Fate; for her Concern for Jones had pre­ [...]ented her perceiving it when it happened, shed a Shower of Tears. These Mr. Allworthy endeavour­ed to assuage, promising her a much finer Bird; but he declared she would never have another. Her Fa­ther chid her for crying so for a foolish Bird; but could not help telling young Blifil, if he was a Son of his, his Backside should be well flea'd.

Sophia now returned to her Chamber, the two [...]oung Gentlemen were sent home, and the rest of the Company returned to their Bottle; where a Conver­sation [Page 146] ensued on the Subject of the Bird, so curious that we think it deserves a Chapter by itself.

CHAP. IV.

Containing such very deep and grave Matters, the some Readers, perhaps, may not relish it.

SQUARE had no sooner lighted his Pipe, that addressing himself to Allworthy, he thus began 'Sir, I cannot help congratulating you on your Nephew; who, at an Age when few Lads have any Ideas but of sensible Objects, is arrived at a Capacity of distinguishing Right from Wrong. To confine any thing, seems to me against the Law of Nature, by which every thing hath a Right to Liberty. These were his Words; and the Impression they have made on me is never to be eradicated. Ca [...] any Man have a higher Notion of the Rule of Right and the Eternal Fitness of Things. I cannot help promising myself from such a Dawn, that the Meridian of this Youth will be equal to that of either the elder or the younger Brutus.'

Here Thwackum hastily interrupted, and spilling some of his Wine, and swallowing the rest with great Eagerness, answered, 'From another Expression h [...] made use of, I hope he will resemble much better Men. The Law of Nature is a Jargon of Words which means nothing. I know not of any such Law, nor of any Right which can be derive [...] from it. To do as we would be done by, is indeed a Christian Motive, as the Boy well expressed himself, and I am glad to find my Instructions hav [...] born so good Fruit.'

'If Vanity was a thing fit (says Square) I might indulge some on the same Occasion; for whence h [...] can only have learnt his Notions of Right or Wrong I think is pretty apparent. If there be no Law o [...] Nature, there is no Right nor Wrong.'

[Page 147] 'How! (says the Parson) do you then banish Re­velation? Am I talking with a Deist or an Atheist?' 'Drink about, (says Western) Pox of your Laws, of Nature. I don't know what you mean either of you, by Right and Wrong. To take away my Girl's Bird was wrong in my Opinion; and my Neighbour Allworthy may do as he pleases; but to encourage Boys in such Practices, is to breed them up to the Gallows.'

Allworthy answered, 'that he was sorry for what his Nephew had done; but could not consent to punish him, as he acted rather from a generous than unworthy Motive.' He said, 'if the Boy had stol­en the Bird, none would have been more ready to vote for a severe Chastisement than himself; but it was plain that was not his Design:' And, indeed, was as apparent to him, that he could have no other View but what he had himself confessed. (For as to [...]hat malicious Purpose which Sophia suspected, it ne­ [...]er once entered into the Head of Mr. Allworthy). He, at length, concluded with again blaming the Action as inconsiderate, and which, he said, was on­ly pardonable in a Child.

Square had delivered his Opinion so openly, that [...]f he was now silent, he must submit to have his Judg­ment censured. He said, therefore, with some Warmth, 'that Mr. Allworthy had too much respect to the dirty Consideration of Property. That in passing our Judgments on great and mighty Actions, all private Regards should be laid aside; for by ad­hering to those narrow Rules, the younger Brutus had been condemned of Ingratitude, and the elder of Parricide.'

And if they had been hanged too for those 'Crimes,' cried Thwackum, 'they would have had no more than their Deserts. A couple of heathen­ish Villains! Heaven be praised, we have no Brutus'-now-a-days. [Page 148] I wish, Mr. Square, you would desist from filling the Minds of my Pupils with such An­tichristian Stuff: For the Consequence must be, while they are under my Care, its being well scourg­ed out of them again. There is your Disciple Tom almost spoiled already. I overheard him the other Day disputing with Master Blifil, that there was not Merit in Faith without Works. I know that is one of your Tenets, and I suppose he had it from you.'

'Don't accuse me of spoiling him,' says Square who taught him to laugh at whatever is virtuous and decent, and fit and right in the Nature of Things. He is your own Scholar, and I disclaim him. No, no, Master Blifil is my Boy. Young as he is, tha [...] Lad's Notions of moral Rectitude I defy you eve [...] to eradicate.'

Thwackum put on a contemptuous Sneer at this and replied, 'Ay, ay, I will venture him with you. He is too well grounded for all your philosophical Cant to hurt. No, no, I have taken Care to in­stil such Principles into him.—'

'And I have instilled Principles into him too cries Square. 'What but the sublime Idea of Virtue could inspire a human Mind with the generous Thought of giving Liberty. And I repeat to yo [...] again, if it was a fit thing to be proud, I might claim the Honour of having infused that Idea—'

'And if Pride was not forbidden,' said Thwackum 'I might boast of having taught him that Duty which he himself assigned as his Motive.'

'So between you both,' says the Squire, 'the your Gentleman hath been taught to rob my Daughter o [...] her Bird. I find I must take Care of my Partridg [...] Mew. I shall have some virtuous, religious Ma [...] or other [...]t all my Partridges at Liberty.' The slapping a Gentleman of the Law, who was pres [...]n [...] [Page 149] on the Back. He cried out, 'What say you to this, Mr. Counsellor? Is not this against Law?'

The Lawyer, with great Gravity, delivered him­self as follows:

'If the Case be put of a Partridge, there can be no Doubt but an Action would lie: For though this be ferae Naturae, yet being reclaimed, Property vests; but being the Case of a Singing Bird, though re­claimed, as it is a Thing of base Nature, it must be considered as nullius in Bonis. In this Case, there­fore, I conceive the Plaintiff must be nonsuited; and I should disadvise the bringing any such Action.'

'Well, (says the Squire) if it be nullus Bonus, let us drink about, and talk a little of the State of the Nation, or some such Discourse that we all under­stand; for I am sure I don't understand a Word of this. It may be Learning and Sense for aught I know; but you shall never persuade me into it. Pox! you have neither of you mentioned a Word of that poor Lad who deserves to be commended. To venture breaking his Neck to oblige my Girl, was a generous spirited Action; I have Learning enough to see that. D—n me, here's Tom's Health, I shall love the Boy for it the longest Day I have to live.'

Thus was this Debate interrupted; but it would [...]robably have been soon resumed, had not Mr. All­worthy presently called for his Coach, and carried off [...]he two Combatants.

Such was the Conclusion of this Adventure of the Bird, and the Dialogue occasioned by it, which we [...]ould not help recounting to our Reader, though it [...]appened some Years before the Stage, or Period of Time, at which our History is now arrived.

CHAP. V.

Containing Matter accommodated to every Taste.

PARVA leves capiunt Animos, 'Small Things affect light Minds,' was the Sentiment of a great Master of the Passion of Love. And certain it is, that from this Day Sophia began to have some little Kindness for Tom Jones, and no little Aversion for his Companion.

Many Accidents from time to time improved both these Passions in her Breast; which, without our re­counting, the Reader may well conclude, from what we have before hinted of the different Tempers of these Lads, and how much the one suited with her own Inclinations more than the other. To say the Truth, Sophia, when very young, discerned that Tom, though an idle, thoughtless, rattling Rascal, was no­body's Enemy but his own; and that Master Blifil, though a prudent, discreet, sober young Gentleman, was at the same Time strongly attached to the In­terest only of one single Person; and who that sin­gle Person was, the Reader will be able to divine without any Assistance of ours.

These two Characters are not always received in the World with the different Regard which seems se­verally due to either; and which one would imagine Mankind, from self-interest, should shew towards them. But perhaps there may be a political Reason for it: In finding one of a truly benevolent Dispositi­on, Men may very reasonably suppose, they have found a Treasure, and be desirous of keeping it, like all other good Things, to themselves. Hence they may imagine, that to trumpet forth the Praises of such a Person, would, in the vulgar Phrase, be crying Roast­meat; and calling in Partakers of what they intend to apply solely to their own Use. If this Reason doth not satisfy the Reader, I know no other Means of ac­counting [Page 151] for the little Respect which I have commonly seen paid to a Character which really doth great Ho­nour to Human Nature, and is productive of the high­est Good to Society. But it was otherwise with Sophia. She honoured Tom Jones, and scorned Master Blifil, almost as soon as she knew the Meaning of those two Words.

Sophia had been absent upwards of three Years with her Aunt; during all which Time she had sel­dom seen either of these young Gentlemen. She dined, however, once together with her Aunt, at Mr. Allworthy's. This was a few Days after the Adven­ture of the Partridge, before commemorated. Sophia heard the whole Story at Table, where she said no­thing; nor indeed could her Aunt get many Words from her, as she returned home; but her Maid, when undressing her, happening to say, 'Well, Miss, I suppose you have seen young Master Blifil to Day.' She answered with much Passion, 'I hate the Name of Master Blifil, as I do whatever is base and trea­cherous; and I wonder Mr. Allworthy would suffer that old barbarous Schoolmaster to punish a poor Boy so cruelly for what was only the Effect of his Good-nature.' She then recounted the Story to her Maid, and concluded with Saying—'Don't you think he is a Boy of a noble Spirit?'

This young Lady was now returned to her Father; who gave her the Command of his House, and placed her at the upper End of his Table, where Tom (who from his great Love of Hunting was become a great Favourite of the Squire) often dined. Young Men of open, generous Dispositions are naturally inclined to Gallantry, which, if they have good understand­ings, as was in reality Tom's Case, exerts itself in an obliging, complaisant Behaviour to all Women in ge­neral. This greatly distinguished Tom from the boisterous Brutality of mere Country Squires on the one hand; and from the solemn, and somewhat ful­len, [Page 152] Deportment of Master Blifil on the other: And he began now, at Nineteen, to have the Name of a pretty Fellow among all the Women in the Neigh­bourhood.

Tom behaved to Sophia with no Particularity, un­less, perhaps, by shewing her a higher Respect than he paid to any other. This Distinction her Beauty, Fortune, Sense, and amiable Carriage, seemed to de­mand; but as to Design upon her Person he had none; for which we shall at present suffer the Reader to condemn him of Stupidity; but perhaps we shall be able indifferently well to account for it hereafter.

Sophia, with the highest Degree of Innocence and Modesty, had a remarkable Sprightliness in her Tem­per. This was so greatly encreased whenever she was in Company with Tom, that, had he not been very young and thoughtless, he must have observed it; or had not Mr. Western's Thoughts been gene­rally either in the Field, the Stable, or the Dog-kennel, it might have, perhaps, created some Jealousy in him; but so far was the good Gentleman from entertain­ing any such Suspicions, that he gave Tom every Op­portunity with his Daughter which any Lover could have wished. And these Tom innocently improved to better Advantage, by following only the Dictates of his natural Gallantry and good-nature, than he might, perhaps, have done, had he had the deepest Designs on the young Lady.

But, indeed, it can occasion little Wonder that this Matter escaped the Observation of others, since poor Sophia herself never remarked it, and her Heart was irretrivably lost before she suspected it was in Danger.

Matters were in this Situation, when Tom one Af­ternoon finding Sophia alone, began, after a short Apology, with a very serious Face, to acquaint her, that he had a Favour to ask of her, which he hoped her Goodness would comply with.

Though neither the young Man's Behaviour, nor [Page 153] indeed his Manner of opening this Business, were such as could give her any just Cause of suspecting he intended to make Love to her; yet, whether Nature whispered something into her Ear, or from what Cause it arose I will not determine, certain it is, some Idea of that Kind must have intruded itself; for her Colour forsook her Cheeks, her Limbs trembled, and her Tongue would have faultered, had Tom stopped for an Answer: But he soon relieved her from her Per­plexity, by proceeding to inform her of his Request, which was to sollicit her Interest on Behalf of the Game-keeper, whose own Ruin, and that of a large Family, must be, he said, the Consequence of Mr. Western's pursuing his Action against him.

Sophia presently recovered her Confusion, and with a Smile full of Sweetness, said, 'Is this the mighty Favour you asked with so much Gravity. I will do it with all my Heart. I really pity the poor Fel­low, and no longer ago than Yesterday sent a small Matter to his Wife.' This small Matter was one of her Gowns, some Linnen, and ten Shillings in Money, of which Tom had heard, and it had, in reality, put this Solicitation into his Head.

Our Youth, now emboldened with his Success, re­solved to push the Matter farther; and ventured even to beg her Recommendation of him to her Father's Service; protesting that he thought him one of the honestest Fellows in the Country, and extremely well qualified for the Place of a Game-keeper, which luckily then happened to be vacant.

Sophia answered; 'Well, I will undertake this too; but I cannot promise you as much Success as in the former Part, which I assure you I will not quit my Father without obtaining. However, I will do what I can for the poor Fellow, for I sincerely look upon him and his Family as Objects of great Compassion.'—'And now, Mr. Jones, I must ask' you a Favour.—'

[Page 154] 'A Favour, Madam, (cries Tom) if you knew the Pleasure you have given me in the Hopes of receiv­ing a Command from you, you would think by mentioning it you must confer the greatest Favour on me; for by this dear Hand I would sacrifice my Life to oblige you.'

He then snatched her Hand, and eagerly kissed it, which was the first Time his Lips had ever touched her. The Blood, which before had forsaken her Cheeks, now made her sufficient Amends, by rush­ing all over her Face and Neck with such Violence, that they became all of a scarlet Colour. She now first felt a Sensation to which she had been before a Stranger, and which, when she had Leisure to reflect on it, began to acquaint her with some Secrets, which the Reader, if he doth not already guess them, will know in due Time.

Sophia, as soon as she could speak (which was not instantly) informed him, that the Favour she had to de­sire of him, was not to lead her Father through so many Dangers in Hunting; for that, from what she had heard, she was terribly frightened every Time they went out together, and expected some Day or other to see her Father brought Home with broken Limbs. She therefore begged him, for her Sake, to be more cautious; and, as he well knew Mr. Western would follow him, not to ride so madly, nor to take those dangerous Leaps for the future.

Tom faithfully promised to obey her Commands; and after thanking her for her kind Compliance with his Request, took his Leave, and departed highly charmed with his Success.

Poor Sophia was charmed too; but in a very dif­ferent Way. Her Sensations, however, the Rea­der's Heart, (if he or she have any) will better repre­sent than I can, if I had as many Mouths as ever Poet wished for, to eat, I suppose, those many Dain­ties with which he was so plentifully provided.

[Page 155] It was Mr. Western's Custom every Afternoon, as soon as he was drunk, to hear his Daughter play on the Harpsichord: for he was a great Lover of Music, and perhaps, had he lived in Town, might have pas­sed for a Connoisseur: for he always excepted a­gainst the finest Compositions of Mr. Handel. He never relished any Music but what was light and airy; and indeed his most favourite Tunes, were Old Sir Simon the King, St. George, he was for England, Bobbing Joan, and some others.

His Daughter tho' she was a perfect Mistress of Music, and would never willingly have played any but Handel's, was so devoted to her Father's Pleasure, that she learnt all those Tunes to oblige him. How­ever, she would now and then endeavour to lead him into her our own Taste, and when he required the Repetition of his Ballads, would answer with a 'Nay, dear Sir,' and would often beg him to suffer her to play something else.

This Evening, however, when the Gentleman was retired from his Bottle, she played all his Favourites three Times over, without any Solicitation. This so pleased the good Squire, that he started from his Couch, gave his Daughter a Kiss, and swore her Hand was greatly improved. She took this Oppor­tunity to execute her promise to Tom, in which she succeeded so well, that the Squire declared, if she would give him t'other Bout of old Sir Simon, he would give the Game-keeper his Deputation the next Morning. Sir Simon was played again and again, till the Charms of the Music soothed Mr. Western to sleep. In the Morning Sophia did not fail to re­mind him of his Engagement, and his Attorney was immediately sent for, ordered to stop any further pro­ceedings in the Action, and to make out the Depu­tation.

Tom's Success in this Affair soon began to ring over the Country, and various were the Censures past upon [Page 156] it. Some greatly applauded it as an Act of good Nature, others sneering, and saying, 'No Wonder that one idle Fellow should love another.' Young Blifil was greatly enraged at it. He had long hated Black George in the same Proportion as Jones delighted in him; not for any offence which he had ever received, but from his great Love to Religion and Virtue: For Black George had the Reputation of a loose kind of a Fellow. Blifil therefore represented this as flying in Mr. Allworthy's Face; and declared with great Concern, that it was impossible to find any other Motive for doing Good to such a Wretch.

Thwackum and Square likewise sung to the same Tune: They were now (especially the latter) become greatly jealous of young Jones with the Widow: For he now approached the Age of Twenty, was really a fine young Fellow; and that Lady, by her En­couragements to him, seemed daily more and more to think him so.

Allworthy was not, however, moved with their Malice. He declared himself very well satisfied with what Jones had done. He said, the Perseverance and Integrity of his Friendship was highly commen­dable, and he wished he could see more frequent In­stances of that Virtue.

But Fortune who seldom greatly relishes such Sparks as my Friend Tom, perhaps, because they do not pay more ardent Addresses to her, gave now a very dif­ferent Turn to all his Actions, and shewed them to Mr. Allworthy in a Light far less agreeable than that Gentleman's Goodness had hitherto seen them in.

CHAP. VI.

An Apology for the Insensibility of Mr. Jones, to all the Charms of the lovely Sophia; in which possibly we may, in a considerable Degree, lower his Charac­ter in the Estimation of those Men of Wit and Gal­lantry, who approve the Heroes in most of our modern Comedies.

THERE are two Sorts of People, who I am afraid, have already conceived some Contempt for my Heroe, on Account of his Behaviour to Sophia. The former of these will blame his Prudence in ne­glecting an Opportunity to possess himself of Mr. Western's Fortune; and the latter will no less despise him for his Backwardness to so fine a Girl, who seemed ready to fly into his Arms, if he would open them to receive her.

Now, though I shall not perhaps be able absolute­ly to acquit him of either of these Charges; (for Want of Prudence admits of no Excuse; and what I shall produce against the latter Charge, will, I apprehend, be scarce satisfactory;) yet as Evidence may some­times be offered in Mitigation, I shall set forth the plain Matter of Fact, and leave the whole to the Rea­der's Determination.

Mr. Jones had somewhat about him, which, though I think Writers are not thoroughly agreed in its Name, doth certainly inhabit some human Breasts; whose Use is not so properly to distinguish Right from Wrong, as to prompt and incite them to the former, and to restrain and with-hold them from the latter.

This Somewhat may be indeed resembled to the fa­mous Trunk-maker in the Playhouse: for whenever the Person who is possessed of it doth what is right, no ravished or friendly Spectator is so eager, or so loud in his Applause; on the contrary, when he doth wrong, no Critic is so apt to hiss and explode him.

[Page 158] To give a higher Idea of the Principle I mean, as well as one more familiar to the present Age; it may be considered as sitting on its Throne in the Mind, like the LORD HIGH CHANCELLOR of this King­dom in his Court; where it presides, governs, di­rects, judges, acquits and condemns according to Merit and Justice; with a Knowledge which nothing escapes, a Penetration which nothing can deceive, and an Integrity which nothing can corrupt.

This Active Principle may perhaps be said to con­stitute the most essential Barrier between us, and our Neighbours the Brutes; for if there be some in the human Shape, who are not under any such Domini­on, I chuse rather to consider them as Deserters from us to our Neighbours; among whom they will have the Fate of Deserters, and not be placed in the first Rank.

Our Heroe, whether he derived it from Thwackum or Square I will not determine, was very strongly under the Guidance of this Principle: for though he did not always act rightly, yet he never did other­wise without feeling and suffering for it. It was this which taught him, that to repay the Civilities and little Friendships of Hospitality by robbing the House where you have received them, is to be the basest and meanest of Thieves. He did not think the Baseness of this Offence lessened by the Height of the Injury committed; on the contrary, if to steal another's Plate deserved Death and Infamy, it seemed to him difficult to assign a Punishment adequate to the rob­bing a Man of his whole Fortune, and of his Child into the Bargain.

This Principle therefore prevented him from any Thought of making his Fortune by such Means (for this, as I have said, is an active Principle, and doth not content itself with Knowledge or Belief only.) Had he been greatly enamoured of Sophia, he possibly might have thought otherwise; but give me Leave to [Page 159] say, there is great Difference between running away with a Man's Daughter from the Motive of Love, and doing the same Thing from the Motive of Theft.

Now though this young Gentleman was not insen­sible of the Charms of Sophia; tho' he greatly liked her Beauty, and esteemed all her other Qualifications, she had made, however, no deep Impression on his Heart: For which, as it renders him liable to the Charge of Stupidity, or at least of Want of Taste, we shall now proceed to account.

The Truth then is, his Heart was in the Possession of another Woman. Here I question not, but the Reader will be surprized at our long Taciturnity as to this Matter; and at no less Loss to divine who this Woman was; since we have hitherto not dropt a Hint of any one likely to be a Rival to Sophia: For as to Mrs. Blifil, though we have been obliged to mention some Suspicions of her Affection for Tom, we have not hitherto given the least Latitude for imagining that he had any for her; and, indeed, I am sorry to say it, but the Youth of both Sexes are too apt to be de­ficient in their Gratitude, for that Regard with which Persons more advanced in Years are sometimes so kind to honour them.

That the Reader may be no longer in Suspence, he will be pleased to remember, that we have often men­tioned the Family of George Seagrim, commonly cal­led Black George, the Game-keeper, which consisted at present of a Wife and five Children.

The second of these Children was a Daughter, whose Name was Molly, and who was esteemed one of the handsomest Girls in the whole Country.

Congreve well says, There is in true Beauty some­thing which vulgar Souls cannot admire; so can no Dirt or Rags hide this Something from those Souls which are not of the vulgar Stamp.

The Beauty of this Girl made, however, no Im­pression on Tom, till she grew towards the Age of [Page 160] Sixteen, when Tom, who was near three Years older, began first to cast the Eyes of Affection upon her. And this Affection he had fixed on the Girl long before he could bring himself to attempt the Pos­session of her Person: for tho' his Constitution urged him greatly to this, his Principles no less forcibly restrained him. To debauch a young Woman, how­ever low her Condition was, appeared to him a very heinous Crime; and the Good-will he bore the Fa­ther, with the Compassion he had for his Family, very strongly corroborated all such sober Reflections; so that he once resolved to get the better of his In­clinations, and he actually abstained three whole Months without ever going to Seagrim's House, or seeing his Daughter.

Now though Molly was, as we have said, gene­rally thought a very fine Girl, and in reality she was so, yet her Beauty was not of the most amiable Kind. It had indeed very little of Feminine in it, and would at least have become a Man as well as a Woman; for, to say the Truth, Youth and florid Health had a very considerable Share in the Composition.

Nor was her Mind more effeminate than her Person. As this was tall and robust, so was that bold and forward. So little had she of Modesty, that Jones had more Regard for her Virtue than she herself. And as most probably she liked Tom as well as he liked her, so when she perceived his Backwardness, she herself grew proportionably forward; and when she saw he had entirely deserted the House, she found Means of throwing herself in his Way, and behaved in such a Manner, that the Youth must have had very much, or very little of the Heroe, if her Endeavours had proved unsuccessful. In a Word, she soon tri­umphed over all the virtuous Resolutions of Jones: For though she behaved at last with all decent Reluc­tance, yet I rather chuse to attribute the Triumph [Page 161] to her, Since, in Fact, it was her Design which suc­ceeded.

In the Conduct of this Matter, Molly so well play­ed her Part, that Jones attributed the Conquest en­tirely to himself, and considered the young Woman as one who had yielded to the violent Attacks of his Passion. He likewise imputed her yielding, to the ungovernable Force of her Love towards him; and this the Reader will allow to have been a very natural and probable Supposition, as we have more than once mentioned the uncommon Comeliness of his Person: And indeed he was one of the handsomest young Fel­lows in the World.

As there are some Minds whose Affections, like Master Blifl's, are solely placed on one single Per­son, whose Interest and indulgence alone they consi­der on every Occasion; regarding the Good and Ill of all others as merely indifferent, any farther than as they contribute to the Pleasure or Advantage of that Person: So there is a different Temper of Mind which borrows a Degree of Virtue even from Self-love; such can never receive any kind of Satisfaction from another, without loving the Creature to whom that Satisfaction is owing, and without making its Well­being in some sort necessary to their own Ease.

Of this latter Species was our Heroe. He consi­dered this poor Girl as one whose Happiness or Mise­ry he had caused to be dependent on himself. Her Beauty was still the Object of Desire, though greater Beauty, or a fresher Object, might have been more so; but the little Abatement which Fruition had oc­casioned to this, was highly overballanced by the Considerations of the Affection which she visibly bore him, and of the Situation into which he had brought her. The former of these created Gratitude, the latter Compassion; and both together with his Desire for her Person, raised in him a Passion, which might, without any great Violence to the Word, be called [Page 162] Love; though, perhaps, it was at first not very judi­ciously placed.

This then was the true Reason of that Insensibility which he had shewn of the Charms of Sophia, and of that Behaviour in her, which might have been reaso­nable enough interpreted as an Encouragement to his Addresses: For as he could not think of abandoning his Molly, poor and destitute as she was, so no more could he entertain a Notion of betraying such a Crea­ture as Sophia. And surely, had he given the least Encouragement to any Passion for that young Lady, he must have been absolutely guilty of one or other of those Crimes; either of which would, in my Opi­nion, have very justly subjected him to that Fate, which at his first Introduction into this History, I mentioned to have been generally predicted as his cer­tain Destiny.

CHAP. VII.

Being the shortest Chapter in this Book.

HER Mother first perceived the Alteration in the Shape of Molly, and in order to hide it from her Neighbours, she foolishly clothed her in that Sack which Sophia had sent her. Though indeed that young Lady had little Apprehension, that the poor Woman would have been weak enough to let any of her Daughters wear it in that Form.

Molly was charmed with the first Opportunity she had ever had of shewing her Beauty to Advan­tage; for though she could very well bear to con­template herself in the Glass, even when drest in Rags; and though she had in that Dress conquered the Heart of Jones, and perhaps of some others; yet she thought the Addition of Finery would much improve her Charms, and extend her Conquests.

Molly, therefore, having dressed herself out in this Sack, with a new laced Cap, and some other Orna­ments [Page 163] which Tom had given her, repairs to Church with her Fan in her Hand the very next Sunday. The Great are deceived, if they imagine they have appro­priated Ambition and Vanity to themselves. These no­ble Qualities flourish as notably in a Country Church, and Church-yard, as in the Drawing-Room, or in the Closet. Schemes have indeed been laid in the Vestry, which would hardly disgrace the Conclave. Here is a Ministry, and here is an Opposition. Here are Plots and Circumventions, Parties and Factions, equal to those which are to be found in Courts.

Nor are the Women here less practised in the highest Feminine Arts than their fair Superiors in Quality and Fortune. Here are prudes and Coquettes. Here are Dressing and Ogling, Falshood, Envy, Malice, Scan­dal; in short, every Thing which is common to the most splendid Assembly, or politest Circle. Let those of high Life, therefore, no longer despise the Ignorance of their Inferiors; nor the Vulgar any longer rail at the Vices of their Betters.

Molly had seated herself some time before she was known by her Neighbours; and a Whisper ran through the whole Congregation, 'Who is she?' But when she was discovered, such sneering, gigling, tittering, and laughing, ensued among the Women, that Mr. Allworthy was obliged to exert his Autho­rity to preserve any Decency among them.

CHAP. VIII.

A Battle sung by the Muse in the Homerican Stile, and which none but the classical Reader can taste.

MR. Western had an Estate in this Parish; and as his House stood at little greater Distance from this Church than from his own, he very often came to divine Service here; and both he and the charming Sophia happened to be present at this Time.

Sophia was much pleased with the Beauty of the [Page 164] Girl, whom she pitied for her Simplicity, in having dressed herself in that Manner, as she saw the Envy which it had occasioned among her Equals. She no sooner came home, than she sent for the Game-keep­er, and ordered him to bring his Daughter to her; saying, She would provide for her in the Family, and might possibly place the Girl about her own Person, when her own Maid, who was now going away, had left her.

Poor Seagrim was thunderstruck at this; for he was no Stranger to the Fault in the Shape of his Daughter. He answered, in a stammering Voice, 'That he was afraid Molly would be too aukward to wait on her Ladyship, as she had never been at Service.' 'No matter for that,' says Sophia, 'she will soon improve. I am pleased with the Girl, and am resolved to try her.'

Black George now repaired to his Wife, on whose prudent Council he depended to extricate him out of this Dilemma; but when he came thither, he found his House in some Confusion. So great Envy had this Sack occasioned, that when Mr. Allworthy and the other Gentry were gone from Church, the Rage which had hitherto been confined, burst into an Up­roar, and having vented itself at first in opprobrious Words, Laughs, Hisses, aud Gestures, betook itself at last to certain missile Weapons; which, though from their plastic Nature they threatened neither the Loss of Life or of Limb, were however sufficiently dreadful to a well-dressed Lady. Molly had too much Spirit to bear this Treatment tamely. Having there­fore—But hold, as we are diffident of our own Abilities, let us here invite a superior Power to our Assistance.

Ye Muses then, whoever you are, who love to sing Battles, and principally thou, who whileom didst recount the Slaughter in those Fields where Hudibras and Trulla fought, if thou wert not starved with thy [Page 165] Friend Butler, assist me on this great Occasion. All things are not in the Power of all.

As a vast Herd of Cows in a rich Farmer's Yard, if, while they are milked, they hear their Calves at a Distance lamenting the Robbery which is then com­mitting, roar and bellow: So roared forth the Somer­setshire Mob an Hallaloo, made up of almost as many Squawls, Screams, and other different Sounds, as there were Persons, or indeed Passions, among them: Some were inspired by Rage, others alarmed by Fear, and others had nothing in their Heads but the Love of Fun; but chiefly Envy, the Sister of Satan, and his constant Companion, rushed among the Crowd, and blew up the Fury of the Women; who no sooner came up to Molly, than they pelted her with Dirt and Rubbish.

Molly, having endeavoured in vain to make a handsome Retreat, faced about; and laying hold of ragged Bess, who advanced in the Front of the Ene­my, she at one Blow felled her to the Ground. The whole Army of the Enemy (though near a hundred in Number) seeing the Fate of their General, gave back many Paces, and retired behind a new-dug Grave; for the Church-yard was the Field of Battle, where there was to be a Funeral that very Evening. Molly pursued her Victory, and catching up a Skull which lay on the Side of the Grave, discharged it with such Fury, that having hit a Taylor on the Head, the two Skulls sent equally forth a hollow Sound at their Meeting, and the Taylor took presently measure of his Length on the Ground, where the Skulls lay side by side, and it was doubtful which was the most va­luable of the two. Molly then taking a Thigh Bone in her Hand, fell in among the flying Ranks, and dealing her Blows with great Liberality neither Side, overthrew the Carcass of many a mighty Heroe and Heroine.

Recount, O Muse, the Names of those who fell [Page 166] on this fatal Day. First Jemmy Tweedle felt on his hinder Head the direful Bone. Him the pleasant Bank of sweetly winding Stower had nourished, where he first learnt the vocal Art, with which, wandering up and down at Wakes and Fairs, he cheered the rural Nymphs and Swains, when upon the Green they interweave the sprightly Dance; while he himself stood fidling and jumping to his own Music. How little now avails his Fiddle? He thumps the verdant Floor with his Carcass. Next old Echepole, the Sow­gelder, received a Blow in his Forehead from our Amazonian Heroine, and immediately fell to the Ground. He was a swinging fat Fellow, and fell with almost as much Noise as a House. His Tobac­co-box dropt at the same Time from his Pocket, which Molly took up as lawful Spoils. Then Kate of the Mill tumbled unfortunately over a Tombstone, which catching hold of her ungartered Stocking, in­verted the Order of Nature, and gave her Heels the Superiority to her Head. Betty Pippin, with young Roger her Lover, fell both to the Ground. Where, O perverse Fate, she salutes the Earth, and he the Sky. Tom Freckle, the Smith's Son, was the next Victim to her Rage. He was an ingenious Work­man, and made excellent Pattins; nay the very Pat­tin with which he was knocked down was his own Workmanship. Had he been at that Time singing Psalms in the Church, he would have avoided a bro­ken Head. Miss Crow, the Daughter of a Farmer; John Giddish, himself a Farmer; Nan Slouch, Esther Codling, Will Spray, Tom Bennet; the three Misses Potter, whose Father keeps the Sign of the Red Lion. Betty Chambermaid, Jack Ostler, and many others of inferior Note, lay rolling among the Graves.

Not that the strenuous Arm of Molly reached all these; for many of them in their Flight overthrew each other.

But now Fortune fearing she had acted out of Cha­racter, [Page 167] and had inclined too long to the same Side, especially as it was the right Side, hastily turned about: For now Goody Brown, whom Zekiel Brown cares­ [...]es in his Arms; nor he alone, but half the Parish be­sides; so famous was she in the Fields of Venus, nor indeed less in those of Mars. The Trophies of both these, her Husband always bore about on his Head and Face; for if ever human Head did by its Horns display the amorous Glories of a Wife, Zekiel's did; nor did his well-scratched Face less denote her Talents (or rather Talons) of a different Kind.

No longer bore this Amazon the shameful Flight of her Party. She stopt short, and calling aloud to all who fled, spoke as follows: 'Ye Somersetshire Men, or rather ye Somersetshire Women, are ye not ashamed, thus to fly from a single Woman; but if no other will oppose her, I myself and Joan Top here will have the Honour of the Victory.' Having thus said, she flew at Molly Seagrim, and easily wrench­ed the Thigh Bone from her Hand, at the same Time clawing off her Cap from her Head. Then laying hold of the Hair of Molly, with her Left Hand, she attacked her so furiously in the Face with the Right, that the Blood soon began to trickle from her Nose. Molly was not idle this while. She soon removed the Clout from the Head of Goody Brown, and then fastening on her Hair with one Hand, with the other she caused the same bloody Stream to issue forth from the Nostril of the Enemy.

When each of the Combatants had bore off suffi­cient Spoils of Hair from the Head of her Antagonist, the next Rage was against their Garments. In this Attack they exerted so much Violence, that in a very few Minutes, they were both naked to the middle.

It is lucky for the Women, that the Seat of Fisty­cuff-War is not the same with them as among Men; but though they may seem a little to deviate from their Sex, when they go forth to Battle, yet I have ob­served [Page 168] they never so far forget it, as to assail the Bo­som, of each other; where a few Blows would be fa­tal to most of them. This, I know, some derive from their being of a more bloody Inclination than the Males. On which Account they apply to the Nose, as to the Part whence Blood may most easily be drawn; but this seems a far-fetched, as well as illnatured Supposition.

Goody Brown had great Advantage of Molly in this Particular; for the former had indeed no Breasts, her Bosom (if it may be so called) as well in Colour as in many other Properties, exactly resembling an an­tient Piece of Parchment, upon which any one might have drummed a considerable while, without doing her any great Damage.

Molly, besides her present unhappy Condition, was differently formed in those Parts, and might, perhaps, have attempted the Envy of Brown to give a her fatal Blow, had not the lucky Arrival of Tom Jones at this Instant put an immediate End to the bloody Scene.

This Accident was luckily owing to Mr. Square; for he, Master Blifil, and Jones, had mounted their Horses, after Church, to take the Air, and had rid­den about a Quarter of a Mile, when Square, chang­ing his Mind, (not idly, but for a Reason which we shall unfold as soon as we have Leisure) desired the young Gentlemen to ride with him another Way than they had at first purposed. This Motion being complied with, brought them of Necessity back again to the Church-yard.

Master Blifil, who rode first, seeing such a Mob assembled, and two Women in the Posture in which we left the Combatants, stopt his Horse to enquire what was the Matter. A Country Fellow, scratching his Head, answered him; 'I don't know Measter un't I; an't please your Honour, here hath been a Vight, I think, between Goody Brown and Mol [Page 169] Seagrim.' 'Who, who, cries Tom?' but without waiting for an Answer, having discovered the Fea­thres of his Molly through all the Discomposure in which they now were, he hastily alighted, turned [...]is Horse loose, and leaping over the Wall, ran to her. She now, first bursting into Tears, told him how [...]arbarously she had been treated. Upon which, for­getting the Sex of Goody Brown, or perhaps not [...]nowing it, in his Rage; for, in reality, she had no [...]eminine Appearance, but a Petticoat, which he might [...]ot observe, he gave her a Lash or two with his Horsewhip; and then flying at the Mob, who were all accused by Molly, he dealt his Blows so profusely in all Sides, that unless I would again invoke the [...]luse, (which the good-natured Reader may think a [...]ttle too hard upon her, as she hath so lately been vio­lently sweated) it would be impossible for me to re­ [...]ount the Horsewhipping of that Day.

Having scoured the whole Coast of the Enemy, as well as any of Homer's Heroes ever did, or as Don Quixotte, or any Knight Errand in the World could [...]ave done, he returned to Molly, whom he found in a Condition, which must give both me and my Reader Pain, was it to be described here. Tom raved like Madman, beat his Breast, tore his Hair, stamped [...]n the Ground, and vowed the utmost Vengeance on all who had been concerned. He then pulled off his Coat, and buttoned it round her, put his Hat upon [...]er Head, wiped the Blood from her Face as well as [...]e could with his Handkerchief, and called out to the Servant to ride as fast as possible for a Side-saddle, or Pillion, that he might carry her safe home.

Master Blifil objected to the sending away the Ser­vant, as they had only one with them; but as Square seconded the Order of Jones, he was obliged to comply.

The Servant returned in a very short Time with [...]he Pillion, and Molly, having collected her Rags as [Page 170] well she could, was placed behind him. In which Manner she was carried home, Square, Blifil and Jones, attending.

Here Jones, having received his Coat, given her a sly Kiss, and whispered her that he would return i [...] the Evening, quitted his Molly, and rode on after his Companions.

CHAP. IX.

Containing Matters of no very peaceable Colour.

MOLLY had no sooner apparelled herself in her accustomed Rags, than her Sisters began to fall violently upon her; particularly her elder Sister, who told her she was well enough served. 'How had she the Assurance to wear a Gown which young Madam Western had given to Mother! If one of us was to wear it, I think,' says she, 'I myself have the best Right; but I warrant you think it belongs to your Beauty. I suppose you think yourself more handsomer than any of us.' 'Hand her down the Bit of Glass from over the Cupboard,' cries ano­ther, I'd wash the Blood from my Face before I tauked of my Beauty.' You'd better have minded what the Parson says,' cries the eldest, 'and not a harkened after Men Voke.' 'Indeed, Child, and so she had,' says the Mother sobbing, 'she hath brought a disgrace upon us all. She's the vurst of the Vamily that ever was a Whore.' You need not upbraid me with that, Mother, cries Molly, 'you yourself was brought to-bed of Sister there within a Week after you was married,' 'Yes, Hussy,' answered the enraged Mother, 'so I was, and what was the mighty Matter of that? I was made an honest Woman then; and if you was to be made an honest Woman I should not be angry; but you must have to doing with a Gentleman, you nasty Slut, you will have a Bastard, Hussy, you will; and that I defy any one to say of me.'

[Page 171] In this Situation Black George found his Family, when he came home for the Purpose before mention­ed. As his Wife and three Daughters were all of them talking together, and most of them crying, it was some time before he could get an Opportunity [...]f being heard; but as soon as such an Interval occur­red, acquainted the Company with what Sophia had said to him.

Goody Seagrim then began to revile her Daugh­ter afresh. 'Here,' says she, 'you have brought us into a fine Quandary indeed. What will Ma­dam say to that big Belly? Oh that ever I should live to see this Day.

Molly answered with great Spirit, 'And what is this mighty Place which you have got for me, Father?' (for he had not well understood the Phrase [...]sed by Sophia of being about her Person) 'I suppose it is to be under the Cook; but I shan't wash Dishes for any Body. My Gentleman will provide better for me. See what he hath given me this After­noon; he hath promised I shall never want Money; and you shan't want Money neither, Mother, if you will hold your Tongue, and know when you are well.' And so saying, she pulled out several Guineas, and gave her Mother one of them.

The good Woman no sooner felt the Gold with­in her Palm, than her Temper began (such is the Ef­ficacy of that Panacea) to be mollified. 'Why Husband,' says she, 'would any but such a Block­head as you not have enquired what Place this was before he had accepted it! Perhaps, as Molly says, it may be in the Kitchen, and truly I don't care my Daughter should be a Scullion Wench: For poor as I am, I am a Gentlewoman. And thof I was obliged, as my Father, who was a Clergyman died worse than nothing, and so could not give me a Shilling of Potion, to undervalue myself, by mar­rying a poor Man, yet I would have you to know, [Page 172] I have a Spirit above all them Things. Marry come up, it would better become Madam Western to look at Home, and remember who her own Grandfather was. Some of my Family, for ought I know, might ride in their Coaches, when the Grandfathers of some Voke walked a-voot. I war­rant she fancies she did a mighty Matter, when she sent us that old Gownd; some of my Family would not have picked up such Rags in the Streets; but poor People are always trampled upon.—The Parish need not have been in such a Fluster with Mol­ly.—You might have told them, Child, your Grand­mother wore better Things new out of the Shop.'

'Well but, consider,' cried George, 'What Answer shall I make to Madam?' 'I don't know what An­swer,' says she, 'You are always bringing your Fa­mily into one Quandary or other. Do you remem­ber when you shot the Partridge, the Occasion of all our Misfortunes? Did not I advise you never to go into Squire Western's Manor? Did not I tell you many a good Year ago what would come of it? but you would have your own headstrong Ways; yes, you would, you Villain—'

Black George was, in the main, a peaceable kind of Fellow, and nothing choleric, nor rash, yet did he bear about him something of what the Antients called the Irascible, and which his Wife, if she had been endowed with much Wisdom, would have feared. He had long experienced, that when the Storm grew very high Arguments were but Wind, which served rather to increase than to abate it. He was therefore seldom unprovided with a small Switch, a Remedy of wonderful Force, as he had often essayed, and which the Word Villain served as a Hint for his ap­plying.

No sooner, therefore, had this Symptom appeared, than he had immediate Recourse to the said Remedy, which though, as it is usual in all very efficacious [Page 173] Medicines, it at first seemed to heighten and inflame the Disease, soon produced a total Calm, and restored the Patient to perfect Ease and Tranquillity.

This is, however, a kind of Horse-medicine, which requires a very robust Constitution to digest, and is therefore only proper for the Vulgar, unless in one single Instance, viz. where Superiority of Birth breaks out; in which Case, we should not think it very im­properly applied by any Husband whatever, if the Application was not, in itself so base, that, like certain Applications of the Physical Kind which need not be mentioned, it so much degrades and contaminates the Hand employed in it, that no Gentleman should en­dure the Thought of any Thing so low and detest­able.

The whole Family were soon reduced to a State of perfect Quiet: For the Virtue of this Medicine, like that of Electricity, is often communicated through one Person to many others, who are not touched by the Instrument. To say the Truth, as they both operate by Friction, it may be doubted whether there is not something analogous between them, of which Mr. Freke would do well to enquire before he pub­lishes the next Edition of his Book.

A Council was now called, in which, after many Debates, Molly still persisting that she would not go to Service, it was at length resolved, that Goody Seagrim herself should wait on Miss Western, and endeavour to procure the Place for her elder Daugh­ter, who declared great Readiness to accept it; but Fortune, who seems to have been an Enemy of this little Family, afterwards put a Stop to her Promotion.

CHAP. X.

A Story told by Mr. Supple, the Curate. The Pene­tration of Squire Western. His great Love for his Daughter, and the Return to it made by her.

THE next Morning Tom Jones hunted with Mr. Western, and was at his Return invited by that Gentleman to Dinner.

The lovely Sophia shone forth that Day with more Gaiety and Sprightliness than usual. Her Battery was certainly levelled at our Heroe; though, I be­lieve, she herself scarce yet knew her own Intention; but if she had any Design of charming him, she now succeeded.

Mr. Supple, the Curate of Mr. Allworthy's Parish, made one of the Company. He was a goood-natur­ed worthy Man; but chiefly remarkable for his great Taciturnity at Table, though his Mouth was never shut at it. In short, he had one of the best Appetites in the World. However, the Cloth was no sooner taken away, than he always made sufficient Amends for his Silence: For he was a very hearty Fellow; and his Conversation was often entertaining, never offensive.

At his first Arrival, which was immediately before the Entrance of the Roast-beef, he had given an Intimation that he had brought some News with him, and was beginning to tell, that he came that Moment from Mr. Allworthy's, when the Sight of the Roast­beef, struck him dumb, permitting him only to say Grace, and to declare he must pay his Respect to the Baronet: For so he called the Sirloin.

When Dinner was over, being reminded by Sophia of his News, he began as follows, 'I believe, Lady, your Ladyship observed a young Woman at Church yesterday at Even-song, who was drest in one of your outlandish Garments; I think I have seen [Page 175] your Ladyship in such a one. However, in the Country, such Dresses are

Raro avis in Terris, nigro (que) simillima Cycno,

That is, Madam, as much as to say,

'A rare Bird upon the Earth, and very like a' black Swan.

'The Verse is in Juvenal: but to return to what I was relating. I was saying such Garments are rare Sights in the Country, and perchance too, it was thought the more rare, Respect being had to the Person who wore it, who, they tell me, is the Daughter of Black George, your Worship's Game­keeper, whose Sufferings I should have opined, might have taught him more Wit than to dress forth his Wenches in such gaudy Apparel. She created so much Confusion in the Congregation, that if Squire Allworthy had not silenced it, it would have interrupted the Service: For I was once about to stop in the Middle of the first Lesson. Howbeit, nevertheless, after Prayer was over, and I was de­parted home, this occasioned a Battle in the Church­yard, where, amongst other Mischief, the Head of a travelling Fidler was very much broken. This Morning the Fidler came to Squire Allworthy for a Warrant, and the Wench was brought before him. The Squire was inclined to have compounded Mat­ters; when, lo! on a sudden, the Wench appeared (I ask your Ladyship Pardon) to be, as it were at the Eve of bringing forth a Bastard. The Squire demanded of her who was the Father; but she per­tinaciously refused to make any Response. So that he was about to make her Mittimus to Bridewel,' when I departed.'

'And is a Wench having a Bastard all your News, Doctor? cries Western. 'I thought it might have been some public Matter, something about the Na­tion.'

[Page 176] 'I am afraid it is too common, indeed,' answer­ed the Parson, 'but I thought the whole Story al­together deserved commemorating. As to Natio­nal Matters, your Worship knows them best. My Concerns extend no farther than my own Parish.'

'Why ay,' says the Squire.' 'I believe I do know a little Matter, as you say; but come, Tommy, drink about, the Bottle stands with you.'

Tom begged to be excused, for that he had parti­cular Business; and getting up from Table, escaped the Clutches of the Squire who was rising to stop him, and went off with very little Ceremony.

The Squire gave him a good Curse at his Depar­ture; and then turning to the Parson, he cried out, 'I smoke it, I smoke it. Tom is certainly the Fa­ther of this Bastard.' 'Zooks, Parson, you re­member how he recommended the Veather o'her to me—d—n un, what a sly B—ch 'tis. Ay ay, as sure as Two-pence, Tom is Veather of the Bas­tard.'

'I should be very sorry for that,' says the Parson. 'Why sorry, cries the Squire, Where is the mighty Matter o't? What I suppose, dost pretend that thee hast never got a Bastard? Pox! more good Luck's thine: for I warrant hast done therefore many's the good Time and often. 'Your Worship is pleased to be jocular,' answered the Parson, but I do not only animadvert on the Sinfulness of the Ac­tion, though that surely is to be greatly depreca­ted; but I fear his Unrighteousness may injure him with Mr. Allworthy. And truly I must say, though he hath the Character of being a little wild, I never saw any Harm in the young Man; nor can I say I have heard any, save what your Worship now men­tions. I wish, indeed he was a little more regular in his Responses at Church; but altogether he seems.'

'Ingenui vultus puer ingenui (que) pudoris.

[Page 177] 'That is a classical Line, young Lady, and being rendered into English, is, a A Lad of an ingenuous Countenance and of an ingenuous Modesty: For this was a Virtue in great Repute both among the Latins and Greeks. I must say the young Gentle­man (for so I think I may call him, notwithstand­ing his Birth) appears to me a very modest, civil Lad, and I should be sorry that he should do himself any Injury in Squire Allworthy's Opinion.'

'Poogh! says the Squire, 'Injury with Allwor­thy! Why Allworthy loves a Wench himself. Doth not all the Country know whose Son Tom is? You must talk to another Person in that Manner. I remember Allworthy at College.'

'I thought,' said the Parson, 'he had never been at the University.'

'Yes, yes, he was,' says the Squire, 'and many a Wench have we two had together. As errant a Whoremaster as any within five Miles o'un. No, no. It will do'n no Harm with he, assure your­self, or with any Body else. Ask Sophy there—You have not the worse Opinion of a young Fellow for getting a Bastard, have you, Girl? No, no, the Women will like un the better for't.'

This was a cruel Question to poor Sophia. She had observed Tom's Colour change at the Parson's Story; and that, with his hasty and abrupt Departure, gave her sufficient Reason to think her Father's Suspi­cion not groundless. Her Heart now, at once, dis­covered the great Secret to her, which had been so long disclosing by little and little; and she found her­self highly interested in this Matter. In such a Si­tuation, her Father's malapert Question rushing sud­denly upon her, produced some Symptoms which might have alarmed a Suspicious Heart; but to do the Squire Justice, that was not his Fault. When she rose therefore from her Chair, and told him, a Hint from him was always sufficient to make her with­draw, [Page 178] he suffered her to leave the Room; and then with great Gravity of Countenance remarked, 'that it was better to see a Daughter over-modest, than o­ver forward;' a Sentiment which was highly ap­plauded by the Parson.

There now ensued between the Squire and the Par­son, a most excellent political Discourse, framed out of News-Papers, and political Pamphlets,; in which they made a Libation of four Bottles of Wine to the Good of their Country; and then, the Squire being fast asleep, the Parson lighted his Pipe, mounted his Horse, and rode home.

When the Squire had finished his Half-hour's Nap, he summoned his Daughter to her Harpsichord; but she begged to be excused that Evening, on Account of a violent Head-ach. This Remission was pre­sently granted: For indeed she seldom had Occasion to ask him twice, as he loved her with such ardent Affection, that by gratifying her, he commonly con­veyed the highest Gratification to himself. She was really what he frequently called her, his little Dar­ling; and she well deserved to be so: For she returned all his Affection in the most ample Manner. She had preserved the most inviolable Duty to him in all Things; and this her Love made not only easy, but so delightful, that when one of her Companions laugh­ed at her for placing so much Merit in such scrupulous Obedience, as that young Lady called it, Sophia an­swered, 'You mistake me, Madam, if you think I value myself upon this Account: For besides that I am barely discharging my Duty, I am likewise pleasing myself. I can truly say, I have no De­light equal to that of contributing to my Father's Happiness; and if I value myself, my Dear, it is on having this Power, and not on executing it.'

This was a Satisfaction, however, which poor So­phia was incapable of tasting this Evening. She therefore not only desired to be excused from the At­tendance [Page 179] at the Harpsichord, but likewise begged that he would suffer her to absent herself from Supper. To this Request likewise the Squire agreed, though not without some Reluctance; for he scarce ever permit­ted her to be out of his Sight, unless when he was engaged, with his Horses, Dogs, or Bottle. Ne­vertheless he yielded to the Desire of his Daughter, though the poor Man was, at the same Time, obliged to avoid his own Company, (if I may so express myself) by sending for a neighbouring Farmer to sit with him.

CHAP. XI.

The narrow escape of Molly Seagrim, with some Ob­servations for which we have been forced to dive pretty deep into Nature.

TOM JONES had ridden one of Mr. Western's Horses that Morning in the Chace: so that having no Horse of his own in the Squire's Stable, he was obliged to go home on Foot. This he did so expeditiously; that he ran upwards of three Miles within the half Hour.

Just as he arrived at Mr. Allworthy's outward Gate, he met the Constable and Company, with Molly in their Possession, whom they were conducting to that House where the inferior Sort of People may learn one good Lesson, viz. Respect and Deference to their Superiors. Since it must shew them the wide Distinction Fortune intends between those Persons who are to be corrected for their Faults, and those who are not; which Lesson, if they do not learn, I am afraid, they very rarely learn any other good Lesson, or improve their Morals, at the House of Correction.

A Lawyer may, perhaps, think Mr. Allworthy ex­ceeded his Authority a little in this Instance. And, to say the Truth, I question, as here was no regular [Page 180] Information before him, whether his Conduct was strictly regular. However, as his Intention was tru­ly upright, he ought to be excused in Foro Conscientiae, since so many arbitrary Acts are daily committed by Magistrates, who have not this Excuse to plead for themselves.

Tom was no sooner informed by the Constable, whither they were proceeding, (indeed he pretty well guessed it of himself) than he caught Molly in his Arms, and embracing her tenderly before them all, swore he would murder the first Man who offered to lay hold of her. He bid her dry her Eyes, and be comforted; for wherever she went, he would accom­pany her. Then turning to the Constable, who stood trembling with his Hat off, he desired him, in a very mild Voice, to return with him for a Moment only to his Father, (so he now called Allworthy) for he durst, he said, be assured, that when he had alledged what he had to say in her Favour, the Girl would be dis­charged.

The Constable, who, I make no Doubt, would have surrendered his Prisoner, had Tom demanded her, very readily consented to this Request. So back they all went into Mr. Allworthy's Hall; where Tom desired them to stay till his Return, and then went himself in pursuit of the Good Man. As soon as he was found, Tom threw himself at his Feet, and having begged a patient hearing, confessed himself to be the Father of the Child, of which Molly was then big. He en­treated him to have Compassion on the poor Girl, and to consider, if there was any Guilt in the case, it lay principally at his Door.

'If there is any Guilt in the Case!' answered All­worthy warmly, 'are you then so profligate and so abandoned a Libertine, to doubt whether the break­ing the Laws of God and Man, the corrupting and ruining a poor Girl, by Guilt? I own, indeed, it [Page 181] doth lie principally upon you, and so heavy it is, that you ought to expect it should crush you.'

'Whatever may be my Fate, says Tom, let me succeed in my Intercessions for the poor Girl. I consess I have corrupted her; but whether she shall be ruined depends on you. For Heaven's Sake, Sir, revoke your Warrant, and do not send her to a Place which must unavoidably prove her Destruc­tion.'

Allworthy bid him immediately call a Servant. Tom answered, there was no Occasion; for he had luckily met them at the Gate, and relying upon his Goodness, had brought them back into his Hall, where they now waited his final Resolution, which, upon his Knees, he besought him might be in Favour of the Girl; that she might be permitted to go home to her Parents, and not be exposed to a greater Degree of Shame and Scorn than must necessarily fall upon her. 'I know, said he, that is too much, I know I am the wicked Occasion of it. I will endeavour to make amends, if possible; and if you shall have hereafter the Goodness to forgive me, I hope I shall deserve it.'

Allworthy hesitated some Time, and at last said, 'Well, I will discharge my Mittimus.—You may send the Constable to me.' He was instantly called, discharged, and so was the Girl.

It will be believed, that Mr. Allworthy failed not to read Tom a very severe Lecture on this Occasion; but it is unnecessary to insert it here, as we have faithfully transcribed what he said to Jenny Jones in the first Book, most of which may be applied to the Men, equally with the Women. So sensible an Effect had these Reproofs on the young Man, who is no har­dened Sinner, that he retired into his own Room, where he passed the Evening alone in much melancholy con­templation.

[Page 182] Allworthy was sufficiently offended by this Trans­gression of Jones; for notwithstanding the Assertions of Mr. Western, it is certain this worthy Man had never indulged himself in any loose Pleasures with Women, and greatly condemned the Vice of Incon­tinence in others. Indeed, there is much Reason to imagine, that there was not the least Truth in what Mr. Western affirmed, especially as he laid the Scene of those Impurities at the University, where Mr. All­worthy had never been. In fact, the good Squire was a little too apt to indulge that Kind of Pleasanty which is generally called Rhodomontade; but which may, with as much Propriety, be expressed by a much shorter Word; and, perhaps, we too often supply the Use of this little Monosyllable by others; since very much of what frequently passes in the World for Wit and Humour, should, in the strictest Purity of Language, receive that short Appellation, which, in Conformity to the well-bred Laws of Custom, I here suppress.

But whatever Detestation Mr. Allworthy had to this or to any other Vice, he was not so blinded by it, but that he could discern any Virtue in the guilty Person, as clearly indeed, as if there had been no Mixture of Vice in the same Character. While he was angry there­fore, with the Incontinence of Jones, he was no less pleased with the Honour and Honesty of his Self-ac­cusation. He began now to form in his Mind the same Opinion of this young Fellow which we hope our Reader may have conceived. And in ballancing his Faults with his Perfections, the latter seemed ra­ther to preponderate.

It was to no Purpose, therefore, that Thwackum, who was immediately charged by Mr. Blifl with the Story, unbended all his Rancour against poor Tom. Allworthy gave a patient Hearing to these Invectives, and then answered coldly: 'That young Men of Tom's Complexion were too generally addicted [Page 183] to this Vice; but he believed that Youth was sin­cerely affected with what he had said to him on the Occasion, and he hoped he would not transgress again.' So that, as the Days of whipping were at an End, the Tutor had no other Vent but his own Mouth for his Gall, the usual poor Resource of impo­tent Revenge.

But Square, who was a less violent, was a much more artful Man; and as he hated Jones more, per­haps, than Thwackum himself, so he contrived to do him more Mischief in the Mind of Mr. Allworthy.

The Reader must remember the several little In­cidents of the Partridge, the Horse, and the Bible, which were recounted in the second Book. By all which Jones had rather improved than injured the Affection which Mr. Allworthy was inclined to en­tertain for him. The same, I believe, must have happened to him with every other Person who hath any Idea of Friendship, Generosity, and Greatness of Spirit; that is to say, who hath any Traces of Goodness in his Mind.

Square himself was not unacquainted with the true Impression which those several Instances of Goodness had made on the excellent Heart of Allworthy; for the Philosopher very well knew what Virtue was, though he was not always, perhaps, steady in its Pursuit; but as for Thwackum, from what Reason I will not determine, no such Thoughts ever entered into his Head. He saw Jones in a bad Light, and he imagined Allworthy saw him in the same, but that he was resolved, from Pride and Stubbornness of Spirit, not to give up the Boy whom he had once cherished, since, by so doing, he must tacitly acknow­ledge that his former Opinion of him had been wrong.

Square therefore embraced this Opportunity of injuring Jones in the tenderest Part, by giving a very bad Turn to all these before-mentioned Occurrences.

'I am sorry, Sir, said he, 'to own I have been de­ceived [Page 184] as well as yourself. I could not, I confess, help being pleased with what I ascribed to the Mo­tive of Friendship, though it was carried to an Excess, and all Excess is faulty, and vicious; but in this I made Allowance for Youth. Little did I suspect that the Sacrifice of Truth, which we both imagined to have been made to Friendship, was, in reality, a Prostitution of it to a depraved and debauched Appe­tite. You now plainly see whence all the seeming Ge­nerosity of this young Man to the Family of the Game-keeper proceeded. He supported the Father in order to corrupt the Daughter, and preserved the Family from starving, to bring one of them to Shame and Ruin. This is Friendship! this is Ge­nerosity! As Sir Richard Steele says, Gluttons who give high Prices for Delicacies, are very worthy to be called generous. In short, I am resolved, from this Instance, never to give Way to the Weak­ness of Human Nature more, nor to think any thing Virtue which doth not exactly quadrate with the unerring Rule of Right.'

The Goodness of Allworthy had prevented those Considerations from occurring to himself; yet were they too plausible to be absolutely and hastily rejected, when laid before his Eyes by another. Indeed what Square had said sunk very deeply into his Mind, and the Uneasiness which it there created was very visible to the other; though the good Man would not ac­knowledge this, but made a very slight Answer, and forcibly drove off the Discourse to some other Sub­ject. It was well, perhaps, for poor Tom, that no such Suggestions had been made before he was par­doned; for they certainly stamped in the Mind of Allworthy the first bad Impression concerning Jones.

CHAP. XII.

Containing much clearer Matters; but which flow from the same Fountain with those in the preceding Chapter.

THE Reader will be pleased, I believe, to return with me to Sophia. She passed the Night, af­ter we saw her last, in no very agreeable Manner. Sleep befriended her but little, and Dreams less. In the Morning, when Mrs. Honour her Maid at­tended her, at the usual Hour, she was found already up and drest.

Persons who live two or three Miles Distance in the Country are considered as next Door Neighbours, and Transactions at the one House fly with incre­dible Celerity to the other. Mrs. Honour, therefore, had heard the whole Story of Molly's Shame; which she, being of a very communicative Temper, had no sooner entered the Apartment of her Mistress, than she began to relate in the following Manner.

'La Ma'am, what doth your La'ship think? the Girl that your La'ship saw at Church on Sunday, whom you thought so handsome; though you would not have thought her so handsome neither, if you had seen her nearer; but to be sure she hath been carried before the Justice for being big with Child. She seemed to me to look like a confident Slut; and to be sure she hath laid the Child to young Mr. Jones. And all the Parish says Mr. Allworthy is so angry with young Mr. Jones, that he won't see him. To be sure, one can't help pitying the poor young Man, and yet he doth not deserve much Pity nei­ther, for demeaning himself with such Kind of Trumpery. Yet he is so pretty a Gentleman I should be sorry to have him turned out of Doors. I dares to swear the Wench was as willing as he; for she was always a forward Kind of Body. And [Page 186] when Wenches are so coming, young Men are not so much to be blamed neither; for to be sure they do no more than what is natural. Indeed it is be­neath them to meddle with such dirty Draggle-tails, and whatever happens to them, it is good enough for them. And yet to be sure the vile Baggages are most in Fault. I wishes, with all my Heart, they were well to be whipped the Cart's Tail; for it is Pity they should be the Ruin of a pretty young Gentleman; and no body can deny but that Mr. Jones is one of the most handsomest young Men that ever—'

She was running on thus, when Sophia, with a more peevish Voice than she had ever spoken to her in be­fore, cried, 'Prithee why do'st thou trouble me with all this Stuff? What Concern have I in what Mr. Jones doth? I suppose you are all alike. And you seem to me to be angry it was not your own Case.'

'I, Ma'am!' answered Mrs. Honour, I am sorry your Ladyship should have such an Opinion of me. I am sure nobody can say any such thing of me. All the young Fellows in the World may go to the Divil, for me. Because I said he was a handsome Man! Every body says it as well as I—To be sure, I never thought as it was any Harm to say a young Man was handsome; but to be sure I shall never think him so any more now; for handsome is that' handsome does. A Beggar Wench!—'

'Stop thy Torrent of Impertinence, 'cries Sophia, and see whether my Father wants me at Breakfast.'

Mrs. Honour then flung out of the Room, mutter­ing much to herself—of which—'Many come up, I assure you,' was all that could be plainly distinguished.

Whether Mrs. Honour really deserved that Suspi­cion, of which her Mistress gave her a Hint, is a Matter which we cannot in dulge our Reader's Curiosi­ty [Page 187] by resolving. We will however make him amends, in disclosing what passed in the Mind of Sophia.

The Reader will be pleased to recollect, that a secret Affection for Mr. Jones had insensibly stolen in­to the Bosom of this young Lady. That it had there grown to a pretty great Height before she herself had discovered it. When she first began to perceive is Symptoms, the Sensations were so sweet and pleasing, that she had not Resolution sufficient to check or repel them; and thus she went on cherish­ing a Passion of which she never once considered the Consequences.

This Incident relating to Molly, first opened her Eyes. She now first perceived the Weakness of which she had been guilty; and though it caused the utmost Perturbation in her Mind, yet it had the Ef­fect of other nauseous Physic, and for the Time ex­pelled her Distemper. Its Operation indeed was most wonderfully quick; and in the short Interval, while her Maid was absent, so entirely removed all Symp­toms, that when Mrs. Honour returned with a Sum­mons from her Father, she was become perfectly easy, and had brought herself to a thorough Indiffe­rence for Mr. Jones.

The Diseases of the Mind do in almost every Par­ticular imitate those of the Body. For which Rea­son, we hope, That learned Faculty, for whom we have so profound a Respect, will pardon us the violent Hands we have been necessitated to lay on several Words and Phrases, which of Right belong to them, and without which our Descriptions must have been often unintelligible.

Now there is no one Circumstance in which the Distempers of the Mind bear a more exact Analogy to those which are called Bodily, than that Aptness which both have to a Relapse. This is plain, in the violent Diseases of Ambition and Avarice. I have known Ambition, when cured at Court by frequent [Page 188] Disappointments, (which are the only Physic for it, to break out again in a Contest of Foreman of the Grand Jury at an Assizes; and have heard of a Man who had so far conquered Avarice, as to give away many a Sixpence, that comforted himself, at last, on his Death-bed, by making a crafty and advan­tageous Bargain concerning his ensuing Funeral, with an Undertaker who had married his only Child.

In the Affair of Love, which out of strict Confor­mity with the Stoic Philosophy, we shall here treat as a Disease, this Proneness to relapse is no less con­spicuous. Thus it happened to poor Sophia; upon whom, the very next Time she saw young Jones, all the former Symptoms returned, and from that Time cold and hot Fits alternately seized her Heart.

The Situation of this young Lady was very diffe­rent from what it had ever been before. That Pas­sion, which had formerly been so exquisitely delicious, became now a Scorpion in her Bosom. She resisted it therefore with her utmost Force, and summoned every Argument her Reason (which was surprizingly strong for her Age) could suggest, to subdue and ex­pel it. In this she so far succeeded, that she began to hope from Time and Absence a perfect Cure. She resolved therefore to avoid Tom Jones, as much as possible; for which Purpose she began to conceive a Design of visiting her Aunt, to which she made no Doubt of obtaining her Father's Consent.

But Fortune who had other Designs in her Head, put an immediate Stop to any such Proceeding, by in­troducing an Accident, which will be related in the next Chapter.

CHAP. XIII.

A dreadful Accident which befel Sophia. The gal­lant Behaviour of Jones, and the more dreadful Con­sequence of that Behaviour to the young Lady; with a short Digression in Favour of the Female Sex.

MR. Western grew every Day fonder and fonder of Sophia, insomuch that his beloved Dogs themselves almost gave Place to her in his Affections; but as he could not prevail on himself to abandon these, he contrived very cunningly to enjoy their Company, together with that of his Daughter, by insisting on her riding a hunting with him.

Sophia, to whom her Father's Word was a Law, readily complied with his Desires, though she had not the least Delight in a Sport, which was of too rough and masculine a Nature to suit with her Dispo­sition. She had, however, another Motive, beside her Obedience, to accompany the old Gentleman in the Chace; for by her Presence she hoped in some Measure to restrain his Impetuosity, and to prevent him from so frequently exposing his Neck to the ut­most Hazard.

The strongest Objection was that which would have formerly been an Inducement to her, namely, the frequent Meeting with young Jones, whom she had determined to avoid; but as the End of the hunt­ing Season now approached, she hoped, by a short Absence with her Aunt, to reason herself entirely out of her unfortunate Passion; and had not any Doubt of being able to meet him in the Field the subsequent Season without the least Danger.

On the second Day of her Hunting, as she was returning from the Chase, and was arrived within a little Distance from Mr. Western's House, her Horse, whose mettlesome Spirit required a better Rider, fell suddenly to prancing and capering, in such a Manner, that she was in the most imminent Peril of falling. Tom [Page 190] Jones, who was at a little Distance behind, saw this and immediately galloped up to her Assistance. As soon as he came up, he immediately leapt from his own Horse, and caught hold of her's by the Bridle. The unruly Beast presently reared himself an End on his hind Legs, and threw his Burthen from his Back, and Jones caught her in his Arms.

She was so affected with the Fright, that she was not immediately able to satisfy Jones, who was very sollicitous to know whether she had received any Hurt. She soon after, however, recovered her Spi­rits, assured him she was safe, and thanked him for the Care he had taken of her. Jones answered, 'If I have preserved you, Madam, I am sufficiently re­paid; for I promise you, I would have secured you from the least Harm, at the Expence of a much greater Misfortune to myself, than I have suffered on this Occasion.'

'What Misfortune,' replied Sophia, eagerly, 'I hope you have come to no Mischief?'

'Be not concerned, Madam,' answered Jones, 'Heaven be praised, you have escaped so well, con­sidering the Danger you was in. If I have broke my Arm, I consider it as a Trifle, in Comparison of what I feared upon your Account.'

Sophia then screamed out, 'Broke your Arm! Heaven forbid.'

'I am afraid I have, Madam,' says Jones, 'but I beg you will suffer me first to take Care of you. I have a Right-hand yet at your Service, to help you into the next Field, where we have but a very lit­tle Walk to your Father's House.'

Sophia seeing his left Arm dangling by his Side, while he was using the other to lead her, no longer doubted of the Truth. She now grew much paler than her Fears for herself had made her before. All her Limbs were seized with a Trembling, insomuch that Jones could scarce support her; and as her Thoughts [Page 191] were in no less Agitation, she could not refrain from giving Jones a Look so full of Tenderness, that it al­most argued a stronger Sensation in her Mind, than even Gratitude and Pity united can raise in the gentlest female Bosom, without the Assistance of a third more powerful Passion.

Mr. Western, who was advanced at some Distance when this Accident happened, was now returned, as were the rest of the Horsemen. Sophia immediately acquainted them with what had befallen Jones, and begged them to take Care of him. Upon which, Western, who had been much alarmed by meeting his Daughter's Horse without its Rider, and was now o­verjoyed to find her unhurt, cried out, 'I am glad it is no worse, if Tom hath broken his Arm, we will get a Joiner to mend un again.'

The Squire alighted from his Horse, and proceeded to his House on Foot, with his Daughter and Jones. An impartial Spectator, who had met them on the Way, would, on viewing their several Countenances, have concluded Sophia alone to have been the Object of Compassion: For as to Jones, he exulted in having probably saved the Life of the young Lady, at the Price only of a broken Bone; and Mr. Western, though he was not unconcerned at the Accident which had befallen Jones, was however, delighted in a much higher Degree with the fortunate escape of his Daugh­ter.

The Generosity of Sophia's Temper construed this Behaviour of Jones into great Bravery; and it made a deep Impression on her Heart: For certain it is, that there is no one Quality which so generally recom­mends Men to Women as this; proceeding, if we believe the common Opinion, from that natural Ti­midity of the Sex; which is, says Mr. Osborne, so great,' that a Woman is the most cowardly of all 'the Creatures God ever made.' A Sentiment more remarkable for its Bluntness, than for its Truth. Ari­stotle, [Page 192] in his Politics, doth them, I believe, more Jus­tice, when he says, ‘'The Modesty and Fortitude of Men differ from those Virtues in Women; for the Fortitude which becomes a Woman, would be Cowardice in a Man; and the Modesty which be­comes a Man, would be Pertness in a Woman.'’ Nor is there, perhaps, more of Truth in the Opinion of those who derive the Partiality which Women are inclined to shew to the Brave, from this Excess of their Fear. Mr. Bayle (I think, in his Article of Helen) imputes this, and with greater Probability, to their violent Love of Glory; for the Truth of which, we have the Authority of him, who, of all others, saw farthest into human Nature; and who introduces the Heroine of his Odyssey, the great Pattern of ma­trimonal Love and Constancy, assigning the glory of her Husband as the only Source of her Affections to­wards him. *

However this be, certain it is that the Accident operated very strongly on Saphia; and, indeed, after much Enquiry into the Matter, I am inclined to be­lieve, that at this very Time, the charming Sophia made no less Impression on the Heart of Jones; to say Truth, he had for some Time become sensible of the irrestible Power of her Charms.

CHAP. XIV.

The Arrival of a Surgeon. His Operations, and a long Dialogue between Sophia and her Maid.

WHEN they arrived in Mr. Western's Hall, So­phia, who had totter'd along with much Dif­ficulty, sunk down in a Chair; but by the Assistance of Hartshorn and Water, she was prevented from fainting away, and had pretty well recovered her Spirits, when the Surgeon, who was sent for to Jones, [Page 193] appeared. Mr. Western, who imputed these Symp­toms in his Daughter to her Fall, advised her to be [...]resently blooded by way of Prevention. In this Opinion he was seconded by the Surgeon, who gave [...]o many Reasons for bleeding, and quoted so many Cases where Persons had miscarried for want of it, [...]hat the Squire became very importunate, and indeed [...]nsisted peremtorily that his Daughter should be blooded.

Sophia soon yielded to the Commands of her Fa­ther, though entirely contrary to her own Inclinations: For she suspected, I believe, less Danger from the Fright, than either the Squire or the Surgeon. She [...]hen stretched out her beautiful Arm, and the Opera­tor began to prepare for his Work.

While the Servants were busied in providing Ma­terials; the Surgeon, who imputed the Backwardness which had appeared in Sophia to her Fears, began to comfort her with Assurances that there was not the [...]east Danger; for no Accident, he said, could ever happen in Bleeding, but from the monstrous Igno­rance of Pretenders to Surgery, which he pretty plainly insinuated was not at present to be apprehended. Sophia declared she was not under the least Apprehen­sion; adding, if you open an Artery, I promise you I'll forgive you; 'Will you,' cries Western, 'D—n me, if I will; if he does the least Mischief, d—n me, if I don't ha' the Heart's Blood o'un out.' The Surgeon assented to bleed her upon these Con­ditions, and then proceeded to his Operation, which he performed with as much Dexterity as he had pro­mised; and as much Quickness: For he took but lit­tle Blood from her, saying, it was much safer to bleed again and again, than to take away too much at once.

Sophia, when her Arm was bound up, retired: For she was not willing (nor was it, perhaps, strictly de­cent) to be present at the Operation on Jones. In­deed [Page 194] one Objection which she had to Bleeding, (tho she did not make it) was the Delay which it would occasion to dressing the broken Bone. For Western, when Sophia was concerned, had no Consideration but for her; and as for Jones himself, he 'sat like Patience on a Monument smiling at Grief.' T [...] say the Truth, when he saw the Blood springing from the lovely Arm of Sophia, he scarce thought of what had happened to himself.

The Surgeon now ordered his Patient to be stript t [...] his Shirt, and then entirely baring the Arm, he began to stretch and examine it, in such a Manner, that th [...] Tortures he put him to, caused Jones to make seve­ral wry Faces; which the Surgeon observing, great wondered at, crying, 'What is the Matter, Sir? am sure it is impossible I should hurt you.' And the holding forth the broken Arm, he began a long and very learned Lecture of Anatomy, in which simpl [...] and double Fractures were most accurately considered and the several Ways in which Jones might have broken his Arm were discussed, with proper Annotation [...] shewing how many of these would have been better and how many worse than the present Case.

Having at length finish'd his laboured Harangu [...] with which the Audience, tho' it had greatly raise [...] their Attention and Admiration, were not much edified, as they really understood not a single Syllable o [...] all he had said, he proceeded to Business, which h [...] was more expeditious in finishing, than he had been in beginning.

Jones was then ordered into a Bed, which Mr. Western compelled him to accept at his own House and Sentence of Water-Gruel was passed upon him.

Among the good Company which had attende [...] in the Hall during the Bone-setting, Mrs. Honour w [...] one; who being summoned to her Mistress as soo [...] as it was over, and asked by her how the young Gentleman did, presently launched into extravagant Praise [Page 195] on the Magnimity, as she called it, of his Behaviour, which, she said, 'was so charming in so pretty a 'Creature.' She then burst forth into much warmer Encomiums on the Beauty of his Person; enumerat­ing many Particulars, and ending with the Whiteness of his Skin.

This Discourse had an Effect on Sophia's Counte­nance, which would not perhaps have escaped the Observance of the sagacious Waiting-woman, had she once looked her Mistress in the Face, all the Time she was speaking; but as a Looking-glass, which was most commodiously placed opposite to her, gave her an Opportunity of surveying those Features, in which, of all others, she took most Delight, so she had not once removed her Eyes from that amiable Object during her whole Speech.

Mrs. Honour was so entirely wrapped up in the Subject on which she exercised her Tongue, and the Object before her Eyes, that she gave her Mistress Time to conquer her Confusion; which having done, she smiled on her Maid, and told her, 'She was cer­tainly in Love with this young Fellow.' 'I in Love,' Madam! answers she, 'upon my Word, Ma'am, I assure you, Ma'am, upon my Soul, Ma'am, I am not.' 'Why if you was,' cries her Mistress, 'I see no Reason that you should be ashamed of it; for he is certainly a pretty Fellow—Yes, Ma'am, answered the other 'That he is, the most handsomest Man I ever saw in my Life. Yes, to be sure, that he is, and, as your Ladyship says, I don't know why I should be ashamed of loving him, though he is my Betters. To be sure gentle Folks are but Flesh and Blood no more than us Ser­vants. Besides, as for Mr. Jones, tho' Squire Allworthy hath made a Gentleman of him, he was not so good as myself by Birth: thof I am a poor Body, I am an honest Person's Child, and my Fa­ther and Mother were married, which is more [Page 196] than some People can say, as high as they hold their Heads. Marry, come up! I assure you, my dirty Cousin! thof his Skin be so white, and to be sure, it is the most whitest that ever was seen, I am a Christian as well as he, and no-body can say tha [...] I am base born, my grand-father was a Clergy man *, and would have been very angry, I believe to have thought any of his Family should have taken up with Molly Seagrim's dirty Leavings.'

Perhaps Sophia might have suffered her Maid to ru [...] on in this Manner, from wanting sufficient Spirits t [...] stop her Tongue, which the Reader may probably conjecture was no very easy Task: For, certain [...] there were some Passages in her Speech, which wer [...] far from being agreeable to the Lady. However she now checked the Torrent, as there seemed n [...] End of its Flowing. 'I wonder,' says she, 'a [...] your Assurance in daring to talk thus of one of m [...] Father's Friends. As to the Wench, I order yo [...] never to mention her Name to me. And, wit [...] Regard to the young Gentleman's Birth, those wh [...] can say nothing more to his Disadvantage, may a [...] well be silent on that Head, as I desire you will b [...] for the future.'

'I am sorry, I have offended your Ladyship,' answered Mrs. Honour, 'I am sure I hate Molly Seagrim as much as your Ladyship can, and as for a busing 'Squire Jones, I can call all the Servants [...] the House to witness, that whenever any Talk ha [...] been about Bastards, I have always taken his Part For which of you,' says I to the Footmen, 'wou [...] [Page 197] not be a Bastard, if he could, to be made a Gentle­man of? and,' says I, 'I am sure he is a very fine Gentleman; and he hath one of the whitest Hands in the World: For to be sure so he hath;' and' says 'one of the sweetest temperedest, best natured­est Men in the World he is,' and says I, 'all the Servants and Neighbours all round the Country loves him. And, to be sure, I could tell your Ladyship something, but that I am afraid it would offend you.'—'What could you tell me, Honour,' says Sophia. 'Nay, Ma'am, to sure he meant no­thing by it, therefore I would not have your La­dyship be offended.'—'Prithee tell me,' says So­phia,—'I will know it this Instant.' Why Ma'am,' answered Mrs. Honour, 'he came into the Room, one Day last Week when I was at Work, and there lay your Ladyship's Muff on a Chair, and to be sure he put his Hands into it, that very Muff your Ladyship gave me but yesterday; La,' says I, Mr. Jones, you will stretch my Lady's Muff and spoil it; but he still kept his Hands in it, and then he kissed it—to be sure, I hardly ever saw such a Kiss in my Life as he gave it.'—'I suppose he did not know it was mine,' replied Sophia. 'Your Ladyship shall hear, Ma'am. He kissed it again and again, and said it was the prettiest Muff in the World.' La! Sir,' says I, 'you have seen it a hundred Times,'—Yes, Mrs. Honour,' cry'd he; 'but who can see any thing beautiful in the Presence of your Lady but herself: Nay, that's not all neither, but I hope your Ladyship won't be offended, for to be sure he meant nothing: One Day as your Ladyship was playing on the Harpsicord to my Master, Mr. Jones was sitting in the next Room, and methought he looked melancholy. La!' says I, 'Mr. Jones, what's the Matter? A Penny for your Thoughts,' says I, 'Why, Hussy,' says he, starting up from a Dream, 'what can I be thinking of when that An­gel [Page 198] your Mistress is playing?' And then squeezing me by the Hand—'Oh! Mrs. Honour,' says he, how happy will that Man be!'—and then he sigh­ed; upon my Troth, his Breath is as sweet as a Nosegay—but to be sure he meant no Harm by it. So I hope your Ladyship will not mention a Word: For he gave me a Crown never to mention it, and made me swear upon a Book, but I believe, in­deed, it was not the Bible.'

Till something of a more beautiful Red than Ver­milion be found out, I shall say nothing of Sophia's Colour on this Occasion. 'Ho—nour,' says she, 'I—if you will not mention this any more to me, nor to any Body else, I will not betray you—I mean I will not be angry; but I am afraid of your Tongue. Why, my Girl, will you give it such Liberties?' Nay, Ma'am,' answered she, to be sure I would sooner cut out my Tongue than offend your Ladyship—to be sure, I shall never mention a Word that your Ladyship would not have me.'—Why I would not have you mention this any more,' said Sophia, 'for it may come to my Father's Ears, and he would be angry with Mr. Jones, tho' I really believe, as you say, he meant nothing. I should be very angry myself if I imagined'—'Nay, Ma'am,' says Honour, 'I protest I believe he meant nothing. I thought he talked as if he was out of his Senses; nay, he said he believed he was beside himself when he had spoken the Words.' Ay, Sir, says I, 'I believe so too.' Yes, says he, 'Ho­nour,—but I ask your Ladyship's Pardon; I could tear my Tongue out for offending you.' 'Go on,' says Sophia, 'you may mention any Thing you have not told me before.' 'Yes, Honour,' says he; (this was some time afterwards when he gave me the Crown) 'I am neither such a coxcomb, or such a Villain as to think of her, in any other Delight, but as my Goddess; as such I will always worship [Page 199] and adore her while I have Breath. This was all, Ma'am, I will be sworn, to the best of my Remembrance; I was in a Passion with him, my­self, till I found he meant no Harm. Indeed, Honour, says Sophia, I believe you have a real Affection for me; I was provoked the other Day when I gave you Warning, but if you have a De­sire to stay with me, you shall. To be sure, Ma'am, answered Mrs. Honour, I shall never de­sire to part with your Ladyship.' To be sure, I almost cried my Eyes out when you gave me Warn­ing. It would be very ungrateful in me, to desire to leave your Ladyship; because as why, I should never get so good a Place again. I am sure I would live and die with your Ladyship—for, as poor Mr. Jones said, happy is the Man—

Here the Dinner-bell interrupted a Conversation which had wrought such an Effect on Sophia, that she was, perhaps, more obliged to her bleeding in the Morning, than she, at the time, had apprehended she should be. As to the present Situation of her Mind, I shall adhere to a Rule of Horace, by not attempting to describe it, from despair of Success. Most of my Readers will suggest it easily to themselves, and the few who cannot, would not understand the Picture, or at least would deny it to be natural, if ever so well drawn.

THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING.
BOOK V.

Containing a short Portion of Time, somewhat longer than Half a Year.

CHAP. I.

Of THE SERIOUS in writing; and for what Purpose it is introduced.

PEradventure there may be no Parts in this prodigi­ous Work which will give the Reader less Plea­sure in the perusing, than those which have given the Author the greatest Pains in composing. Among these probably may be reckoned those initial Essays which we have perfixed to the historical Matter con­tained in every Book; and which we have deter­mined to be essentially necessary to this kind of Writ­ing, of which we have set ourselves at the Head.

For this our Determination we do not hold our­selves strictly bound to assign any Reason; it being a­bundantly sufficient that we have laid it down as a Rule necessary to be observed in all Prosai-comi-epic Writ­ing. Who ever demanded the Reasons of that nice [Page 201] Unity of Time or Place which is now established to be so essential to dramatick Poetry? What Critic hath been ever asked why a Play may not contain two Days as well as one, or why the Audience (provided they travel like Electors, without any Expence) may not be wafted Fifty Miles as well as five! Hath any Commentator well accounted for the Limitation which an antient Critic had set to the Drama, which he will have contain neither more nor less than five Acts; or hath any one living attempted to explain, what the modern Judges of our Theatres mean by that Word low; by which they have happily succeeded in banishing all Humour from the Stage, and have made the Theatre as dull as a Drawing-Room? Upon all these Occasions, the World seemed to have embraced a Maxim of our Law, viz. Cuicun (que) in Arte sua perito credendum est: For it seems, perhaps, difficult to con­ceive that any one should have enough of Impudence, to lay down dogmatical Rules in any Art or Science without the least Foundation. In such Cases, there­fore, we are apt to conclude there are sound and good Reasons at the Bottom, tho' we are unfortunately not able to see so far.

Now, in Reality, the World have paid too great a Compliment to Critics, and have imagined them Men of much greater Profundity than they really are. From this Complaisance, the Critics have been em­boldened to assume a Dictatorial Power, and have so far succeeded that they are now become the Masters, and have the Assurance to give Laws to those Authors, from whose Predecessors they originally received them.

The Critrc, rightly considered, is no more than the Clerk, whose Office is to transcribe the Rules and Laws laid down by those great Judges, whose vast Strength of Genius hath placed them in the Light of Legislators in the several Sciences over which [Page 202] they presided. This Office was all which the Critics of old aspired to, nor did they ever dare to advance a Sentence, without supporting it by the Authority of the Judge from whence it was borrowed.

But in Process of Time, and in Ages of Ignorance, the Clerk began to invade the Power and assume the Dignity of his Master. The Laws of Writing were no longer founded on the Practice of the Author, but on the Dictates of the Critic. The Clerk became the Legislator, and those very peremptorily gave Laws, whose Business it was, at first, only to tran­scribe them.

Hence arose an obvious, and, perhaps, an unavoid­able Error: For these Critics being Men of shal­low Capacities, very easily mistook mere Form for Substance. They acted as a Judge would, who should adhere to the lifeless Letter of Law, and reject the Spirit. Little Circumstances which were, per­haps, accidental in a great Author, were, by these Critics, considered to constitute his chief Merit, and transmitted as Essentials to be observed by all his Suc­cessors. To these Encroachments, Time and Ig­norance, the two great Supporters of Imposture, gave Authority; and thus, many Rules for good Writing have been established, which have not the least Foundation in Truth or Nature; and which com­monly serve for no other Purpose than to crub and restrain Genius, in the same Manner; as it would have restrained the Dancing-master, had the many excellent Treatises on that Art, laid it down as an essential Rule, that every Man must dance in Chains.

To avoid, therefore, all Imputation of laying down a Rule for Posterity, founded only on the Au­thority of ipse dixit; for which, to say the Truth, we have not the profoundest Veneration; we shall here wave the Privilege above contended for, and proceed to lay before the Reader, the Reasons which have induced us, to intersperse these several digressive Essays, in the Course of this Work.

[Page 203] And here we shall of Necessity be led to open a new Vein of Knowledge, which, if it hath been dis­covered, hath not, to our Rememberance, been wrought on by any antient or modern Writer. This Vein is no other than that of Contrast, which runs through all the Works of the Creation, and may pro­bably have a large Share in constituting in us the Idea of all Beauty, as well natural as artificial: For what demonstrates the Beauty and Excellence of any thing, but its Reverse? Thus the Beauty of Day, and that of Summer, is set off by the Horrors of Night and Winter. And I believe, if it was possible for a Man to have seen only the two former, he would have a very imperfect Idea of their Beauty.

But to avoid too serious an Air: Can it be doubt­ed, but that the finest Woman in the World would lose all Benefit of her Charms, in the Eye of a Man who had never seen one of another Cast? The La­dies themselves seem so sensible of this, that they are all industrious to procure Foils; nay, they will be­come Foils to themselves; for I have observed, (at Bath particularly,) that they endeavour to appear as ugly as possible in the Morning, in order to set off that Beauty which they intend to shew you in the Evening.

Most Artists have this Secret in Practice, tho' some, perhaps, have not much studied the Theory. The Jeweller knows that the finest Brilliant requires a Foil; and the Painter, by the Contrast of his Figures, of­ten acquires great Applause.

A great Genius among us, will illustrate this Mat­ter fully. I cannot, indeed, range him under any general Head of common Artists, as he hath a Title to be placed among those

Inventas, qui vitam excoluere per Artes.
Who by invented Arts have Life improv'd.

I mean here the Inventor of that most exquisite Entertainment, called the English Pantomime.

[Page 204] This Entertainment consisted of two Parts, which the Inventor distinguished by the Names of the Se­rious and the Comic. The Serious exhibited a certain Number of Heathen Gods and Heroes, who were certainly the worst and dullest Company into which an Audience was ever introduced; and (which was a Secret known to few) were actually intended so to be, in order to contrast the Comic Part of the Enter­tainment, and to display the Tricks of Harlequin to the better Advantage.

This was, perhaps, no very civil Use of such Per­sonages; but the Contrivance was nevertheless inge­nious enough, and had its Effect. And this will now plainly appear, if instead of Serious and Comic, we supply the Words Duller and Dullest; for the Comic was certainly duller than any thing before shewn on the Stage, and could only be set off by that superla­tive Degree of Dulness, which composed the Serious. So intolerably serious, indeed, were these Gods and Heroes, that Harlequin (tho' the English Gentleman of that Name is not at all related to the French Fami­ly, for he is of a much more serious Disposition) was always welcome on the Stage, as he relieved the Audience from worse Company.

Judicious Writers have always practised this Art of Contrast, with great Success. I have been surprized that Horace should cavil at this Art in Homer; but indeed he contradicts himself in the very next Line.

Indignor quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus,
Verum Operi longo fas est obripere Somnum.
I grieve if e'er great Homer chance to sleep,
Yet Slumbers on long Works have right to creep.

For we are not here to understand, as, perhaps, some have, that an Author actually falls asleep while he is writing. It is true that Readers are too apt to be so overtaken; but if the Work was as long as any of Oldmixon, the Author himself is too well enter­tained [Page 205] to be subject to the least Drowsiness. He is, as Mr. Pope observes,

Sleepless himself to give his Readers Sleep.

To say the Truth, these soporific Parts are so many Scenes of Serious artfully interwoven, in order to con­trast and set off the rest; and this is the true Meaning of a late facetious Writer, who told the Public, that whenever he was dull, they might be assured there was a Design in it.

In this Light then, or rather in this Darkness, I would have the Reader to consider these initial Essays. And after this Warning, if he shall be of Opinion, that he can find enough of Serious in other Parts of this history, he may pass over these, in which we profess to be laboriously dull, and begin the following Books, at the second Chapter.

CHAP. II.

In which Mr. Jones receives many friendly Visits du­ring his Confinement; with some fine Touches of the Passion of Love, scarce visible to the naked Eye.

TOM JONES had many Visitors during his Confinement, tho' some, perhaps, were not ve­ry agreeable to him. Mr. Allworthy saw him almost every Day; but tho' he pitied Tom's Sufferings, and greatly approved the gallant Behaviour which had occasioned them, yet he thought this was a favoura­ble Opportunity to bring him to a sober Sense of his indiscreet Conduct; and that wholsome Advice for that Purpose, could never be applied at a more proper Season than at the present; when the Mind was sof­tened by Pain and Sickness, and alarmed by Danger; and when its Attention was unembarrassed with those turbulent Passions, which engage us in the Pursuit of Pleasure.

At all Seasons, therefore, when the good Man was alone with the Youth, especially when the latter was [Page 206] totally at Ease, he took Occasian to remind him of his former Miscarriages, but in the mildest and tender­est Manner, and only in order to introduce the Cau­tion, which he prescribed for his future Behaviour; 'on which alone, 'he assured him, 'would depend his own Felicity, and the Kindness which he might yet promise himself to receive at the Hands of his Father by Adoption unless he should hereafter for­feit his Good Opinion: For as to what had past,' he said, 'it should be all forgotten and forgiven. He, therefore, advised him to make a good Use of this Accident, that so in the End it might prove a Visitation for his own Good.'

Thwackum was likewise pretty assiduous in his Vi­sits; and he too considered a sick Bed to be a conve­nient Scene for Lectures. His Stile, however, was more severe than Mr. Allworthy's: He told his Pupil, 'that he ought to look on his broken Limb as a Judgment from Heaven on his Sins. That it would become him to be daily on his Knees, pouring forth Thanksgivings that he had broken his Arm only, and not his Neck; which latter,' he said, 'was very probably reserved for some future Occa­sion, and that perhaps, not very remote. For his Part,' he said, 'he had often wondered some Judg­ment had not overtaken him before; but it might be perceived by this, that divine Punishments, tho' slow, are always sure.' Hence likewise he advised him 'to foresee, with equal Certainty, the greater Evils which 'vere yet behind, and which were as sure as this, of overtaking him in his State of Reprobacy. These are,' said he, 'to be averted only by such a thorough and sincere Repentance, as is not to be expected or hoped for, from one so abandoned in his Youth, and whose Mind, I am afraid, is totally corrupted. It is my Duty, however, to exhort you to this Repen­tance, tho' I too well know all Exhortations will be vain and fruitless. But liberavi Animam meam. I can [Page 207] accuse my own Conscience of no Neglect; tho' it is, at the same time, with the utmost Concern, I see you travelling on to certain Misery in this World, and to as certain Damnation in the next.'

Square talked in a very different Strain, He said, 'such Accidents as a Broken Bone were below the Consideration of a wise Man. That it was abun­dantly sufficient to reconcile the Mind to any of these Mischances, to reflect that they are liable to befal the wisest of Mankind, and are undoubtedly for the Good of the whole.' He said, 'it was a mere Abuse of Words, to call those Things Evils in which there was no moral Unfitness; that Pain, which was the worst Consequence of such Accidents, was the most contemptible thing in the World;' with more of the like Sentences, extracted out of the Second Book of Tully's Tusculan Questions, and from the Great Lord Shaftesbury. In pronouncing these he was one Day so eager, that he unfortunately bit his Tongue; and in such a Manner, that it not only put an End to his Discourse, but created much Emotion in him, and caused him to mutter an Oath or two: But what was worst of all, this Accident gave Thwackum, who was present, and who held all such Doctrine to be heathenish and atheistical, an Opportu­nity to clap a Judgment on his Back. Now this was done with so malicious a Sneer, that it totally unhinged (if I my so say) the Temper of the Philosopher, which the Bite of his Tongue had somewhat ruffled; and he was so disabled from venting his Wrath at his Lips, he had possibly found a more violent Method of re­venging himself, had not the Surgeon, who was then luckily in the Room, contrary to his own Interest, interposed, and preserved the Peace.

Mr. Blifil visited his Friend Jones but seldom, and never alone. This worthy young Man, however, professed much Regard for him, and as great Con­cern at his Misfortune; but cautiously avoided any [Page 208] Intimacy, lest, as he frequently hinted, it might con­taminate the Sobriety of his own Character: For which Purpose, he had constantly in his Month that Proverb in which Solomon speaks against Evil Commu­nication. Not that he was so bitter as Thwackum for he always expressed some Hopes of Tom's Refor­mation; 'which,' he said, 'the unparallelled Good­ness shewn by his Uncle on this Occasion, must certainly effect, in one not absolutely abandoned;' but concluded, 'if Mr. Jones ever offends hereafter I shall not be able to say a Syllable in his Favour.'

As to Squire Western, he was seldom out of the Sick Room; unless when he was engaged either in the Field, or over his Bottle. Nay, he would some­times retire hither to take his Beer, and it was not without Difficulty, that he was prevented from forcing Jones to take his Beer too: For no Quack ever held his Nostrum to be a more general Panacea, than he did this; which, he said, had more Virtues in it than was in all the Physic in an Apothecary's Shop. He was, however, by much Entreaty, prevailed on to for­bear the Application of this Medicine; but from se­renading his Patient every Morning with the Horn un­der his Window, it was impossible to withhold him; nor did he ever lay aside that Hollow, with which he entered into all Companies, when he visited Jones, without any Regard to the sick Person's being at that Time either awake or asleep.

This boisterous Behaviour, as it meant no Harm, so happily it effected none, and was abundantly com­pensated to Jones, as soon as he was able to sit up, by the Company of Sophia, whom the Squire then brought to visit him; nor was it, indeed, long before Jones was able to attend her to the Harpsichord, where she would kindly condescend, for Hours together, to charm him with the most delicious Music, unless when the Squire thought proper to interrupt her, by [Page 209] insisting on Old Sir Simon, or some other of his fa­vourite Pieces.

Notwithstanding the nicest Guard which Sophia en­deavoured to set on her Behaviour, she could not avoid letting some Appearances now and then slip forth: For Love may again be likened to a Disease in this, that when it is denied a Vent in one Part, it will cer­tainly break out in another. What her Lips there­fore concealed, her Eyes, her Blushes, and many little involuntary Actions, betrayed.

One Day when Sophia was playing on the Harp­sichord, and Jones was attending, the Squire came into the Room, crying, 'There Tom, I have had a Battle for thee below Stairs with thick Parson Thwackum.—He hath been telling Allworthy, before my Face, that the broken Bone was a Judgment upon thee. D—n it, says I, how can that be? Did not he come by it in Defence of a young Woman? A Judgment indeed! Pox, if he never doth any thing worse, he will go to Heaven sooner than all the Parsons in the Country. He hath more reason to glory in it, than to be ashamed of it.' 'Indeed, Sir,' says Jones, 'I have no Reason for either; but if it preserved Miss Western, I shall al­ways think it the happiest Accident of my Life.'—And to gu,' said the Squire, 'to zet Allworthy a­gainst thee vor it.—D—n 'un, if the Parson had unt had his Petticuoats on, I should ha lent un a Flick; for I love thee dearly, my Boy, and d—n me if if there is any thing in my Power which I won't do for thee. Sha't take thy Choice of all the Horses in my Stable to-morrow Morning, except only the Chevalier and Miss Slouch.' Jones thanked him, but declined accepting the Offer.—'Nay,' added the Squire, 'Shat ha the sorrel Mare that Sophy rode. She cost me fifty Guineas, and comes six Years old this Grass.' If she had cost me a thousand,' cries Jones passionately, 'I would have given her to the [Page 210] 'Dogs,' Pooh! Pooh!' answered Western, 'what be­cause she broke thy Arm. Shouldst forget and for­give. I thought hadst been more a Man than to bear Malice against a dumb Creature.'—Here So­phia interposed, and put an End to the Conversa­tion, by desiring her Father's Leave to play to him; a Request which he never refused.

The Countenance of Sophia had undergone more than one Change during the foregoing Speeches; and probably she imputed the passionate Resentment which Jones had expressed against the Mare to a different Motive from that from which her Father had derived it. Her Spirits were at this Time in a visible Flutter; and she played so intolerably ill, that had not Western soon fallen asleep, he must have remarked it. Jones, however, who was sufficiently awake, and was not without an Ear any more than without Eyes, made some Observations; which being joined to all which the Reader may remember to have passed formerly, gave him pretty strong Assurances, when he came to reflect on the whole, that all was not well in the ten­der Bosom of Sophia. An Opinion which many young Gentlemen will, I doubt not, extremely won­der at his not having been well confirmed in long ago. To confess the Truth, he had rather too much Diffidence in himself, and was not forward enough in seeing the Advances of a young Lady; a Misfor­tune which can only be cured by that early Town E­ducation, which is at present so generally in Fashion.

When these Thoughts had fully taken Possession of Jones, they occasioned a Perturbation in his Mind, which, in a Constitution less pure and firm than his, might have been, at such a Season, attended with very dangerous Consequences. He was truly sensi­ble of the great Worth of Sophia. He extremely lik­ed her Person, no less admired her Accomplishments, and tenderly loved her Goodness. In Reality, as he had never once entertained any Thought of possessing [Page 211] her, nor had ever given the least voluntary Indulgence [...]o his Inclinations, he had a much stronger Passion for her than he himself was acquainted with. His Heart now brought forth the full Secret, at the same Time that it assured him the adorable Object return­ed his Affection.

CHAP. III.

Which all, who have no Heart, will think to contain much ado about nothing.

THE Reader will perhaps imagine, the Sensa­tions which now arose in Jones to have been so sweet and delicious, that they would rather tend to produce a cheerful Serenity in the Mind, than any of those dangerous Effects which we have mentioned; but in fact, Sensations of this Kind, however delici­ous, are, at their first Recognition, of a very tumul­tuous Nature, and have very little of the Opiate in them. They were, moreover, in the present Case, embittered with certain Circumstances, which being mixed with sweeter Ingredients, tended altogether to compose a Draught that might be termed bitter-sweet; than which, as nothing can be more disagreeable to the Palate, so nothing, in the metaphorical Sense, can be so injurious to the Mind.

For first, though he had sufficient foundation to flatter himself on what he had observed in Sophia, he was not yet free from Doubt of misconstruing Com­passion, or at best, Esteem, into a warmer Regard. He was far from a sanguine Assurance that Sophia had any such Affection towards him, as might pro­mise his Inclinations that Harvest, which, if they were encouraged and nursed, they would finally grow up to require. Besides, if he could hope to find no Bar to his Happiness from the Daughter, he thought himself certain of meeting an effectual Bar in the Father; who, though he was a Country Squire [Page 212] in his Diversions, was perfectly a Man of the World in whatever regarded his Fortune; had the most vio­lent Affection for this only Daughter, and had often signified, in his Cups, the Pleasure he proposed in seeing her married to one of the richest Men in the County. Jones was not so vain and senseless a Cox­comb as to expect from any Regard which Western had professed for him, that he would ever be induced to lay aside these Views of advancing his Daughter. He well knew that Fortune is generally the principal if not the sole Consideration, which operates on the best of Parents in these Matters: For Friendship makes us warmly espouse the Interest of others; but is very cold to the Gratification of their Passions. Indeed, to feel the Happiness which may result from this, it is necessary we should possess the Passion our­selves. As he had therefore no Hopes of obtaining her Father's Consent, so he thought to endeavour to succeed without it, and by such Means to frustrate the Great Point of Mr. Western's Life, was to make a very ill Use of his Hospitality, and a very ungrateful Return to the many little Favours received (however roughly) at his Hands. If he saw such a Consequence with Horror and Disdain, how much more was he shocked with what regarded Mr. Allworthy; to whom as he had more than filial Obligations, so had he for him more than filial Piety. He knew the Nature of that good Man to be so averse to any Baseness o [...] Treachery, that the least Attempt of such a Kind would make the guilty Person for ever odious to his Eyes, and the Name of that Person a detestable Sound in his Ears. The Appearance of such unsurmount­able Difficulties was sufficient to have inspired him with Despair, however ardent his Wishes had been but even these were controlled by Compassion for another Woman. The Idea of lovely Molly now in­truded itself before him. He had sworn eternal Con­stancy in her Arms, and she had as often vowed ne­ver [Page 213] to outlive his deserting her. He now saw her in all the most shocking Postures of Death; nay, he considered all the Miseries of Prostitution to which she would be liable, and of which he would be doubly the Occasion; first by seducing, and then by deserting her; for he well knew the Hatred which all her Neighbours, and even her own Sisters, bore her, and ready they would all be to tear her to Pieces. In­deed he had exposed her to more Envy than Shame, or rather to the latter by Means of the former: For many Women abused her for being a Whore, while they envied her her Lover and Finery, and would have been themselves glad to have purchased these at the same Rate. The Ruin, therefore, of the poor Girl must, he foresaw, unavoidably attend his deserting her; and this thought stung him to the Soul. Pover­ty and Distress seemed to him to give none a Right of aggravating those Misfortunes. The Meanness of her Condition did not represent her Misery as of little Consequence in his Eyes, nor did it appear to justify, or even to palliate, his Guilt, in bringing that Mise­ry upon her. But why do I mention Justification; his own Heart would not suffer him to destroy a human Creature, who, he thought, loved him, and had to that Love sacrificed her Innocence. His own good Heart pleaded her Cause; not as a cold venal Advocate; but as one interested in the Event, and which must itself deeply share in all the Agonies its Owner brought on another.

When this cunning Advocate had sufficiently rais­ed the Pity of Jones, by painting poor Molly in all the Circumstances of Wretchedness; it artfuly called in the Assistance of another Passion, and represented the Girl in all the amiable Colours of Youth, Health, and Beauty; as one greatly the Object of Desire, and much the more so, at least to a good Mind, from be­ing, at the same time, the Object of Compassion.

[Page 214] A midst these Thoughts, poor Jones passed a long sleepless Night, and in the Morning the Result of the whole was to abide by Molly, and to think no more of Sophia.

In this virtuous Resolution he continued all the next Day till the Evening, cherishing the Idea of Molly, and driving Sophia from his Thoughts; but in the fatal Evening, a very trifling Accident set all his Passions again on Float, worked so total a Change in his Mind, that we think it decent to communicate it in a fresh Chapter.

CHAP. IV.

A little Chapter, in which is contained a little Incident.

AMONG other Visitants, who paid their Com­pliments to the young Gentleman in his Con­finement, Mrs. Honour was one. The Reader, per­haps, when he reflects on some Expressions which have formerly dropt from her, may conceive that she herself had a very particular Affection for Mr. Jones; but, in reality, it was no such thing. Tom was a handsome young Fellow; and for that Species of Men Mrs. Honour had some Regard; but this was per­fectly indiscriminate: For having been crossed in the Love which she bore a certain Nobleman's Footman, who had basely deserted her after a Promise of Mar­riage, she had so securely kept together the broken Remains of her Heart, that no Man had ever since been able to possess himself of any single Fragment. She viewed all handsome Men with that equal Regard and Benevolence, which a sober and virtuous Mind bears to all the Good.—She might, indeed, be called a Lover of Men, as Socrates was a Lover of Mankind, preferring one to another for corporeal, as he for mental Qualifications; but never carrying this Pre­ference [Page 215] so far as to cause any Perturbation in the phi­losophical Serenity of her Temper.

The Day after Mr. Jones had had that Conflict with himself, which we have seen in the preceding Chapter, Mrs. Honour came into his Room, and finding him alone, began in the following Manner: 'La, Sir, where do you think I have been? I war­rants you, you would not guess in fifty Years; but if you did guess, to be sure, I must not tell you neither,' 'Nay if it be something which you must not tell me,' said Jones, 'I shall have the Curiosity to enquire, and I know you will not be so barbarous to refuse me.' 'I don't know,' cries she, 'why I should refuse you neither, for that Matter; for to be sure you won't mention it any more. And for that Matter, if you knew where I had been, unless you knew what I had been about, it would not signify much. Nay, I don't see why it should be kept a Secret, for my Part; for to be sure she is the best Lady in the World.' Upon this Jones be­gan to beg earnestly to be let into this Secret, and faithfully promised not to divulge it. She then pro­ceeded thus. 'Why you must know, Sir, my young Lady sent me to enquire after Molly Sea­grim, and to see whether the Wench wanted any thing; to be sure, I did not care to go, methinks; but Servants must do what they are ordered.—How could you undervalue yourself so, Mr. Jones?—So my Lady bid me go, and carry her some Linnen, and other Things.—She is too good. If such forward Sluts were sent to Bridewell it would be better for them. I told my Lady, says I, Ma­dam, Your La'ship is encouraging Idleness.—' And was my Sophia so good?' says Jones.—'My Sophia! I assure you, marry come up,' answered Honour. 'And yet if you knew all.—Indeed, if I was as Mr. Jones, I should look a little higher than such Trumpery as Molly Seagrim.' 'What [Page 216] do you mean by these Words,' replied Jones, 'I [...] I knew all?' 'I mean what I mean,' says Honour Don't you remember putting your Hands in my Lady's Muff once? I vow I could almost find in my Heart to tell, if I was certain my Lady would never come to the Hearing on't.' —Jones then made several solemn Protestations. And Honour proceeded—'then, to be sure, my Lady gave me that Muff; and afterwards, upon hearing what you had done—' 'Then you told her what I had done! interrupted Jones, 'If I did, Sir,' answered she 'you need not be angry with me. Many's the Man would have given his Head to have had my Lady told, if they had known—for, to be sure the biggest Lord in the Land might be proud—but I protest, I have a great mind not to tell you.' Jones fell to Entreaties, and soon prevailed on he [...] to go on thus. 'You must know then, Sir, tha [...] my Lady had given this Muff to me; but about Day or two after I had told her the Story, she quarrels with her new Muff, and to be sure it is th [...] prettiest that ever was seen. Honour,' says she,—this is an odious Muff;—it is too big for me,—I can't wear it—till I can get another, you must let me have my old one again, and you may have this in the room on't—for she's a good Lady, and scorns to give a Thing and take a Thing, I promise you that. So to be sure I fetched it her back again [...] and I believe, she hath worn it upon her Arm al [...] most ever since, and I warrants hath given it many' a Kiss when nobody hath seen her.

Here the Conversation was interrupted by Mr. Western himself, who came to summon Jones to the Harpsichord; whither the poor young Fellow went all pale and trembling. This Western observed, but on seeing Mrs. Honour, imputed it to a wrong Cause and having given Jones a hearty Curse between Jes [...] [Page 217] and Earnest, he bid him beat abroad, and not poach up the Game in his Warren.

Sophia looked this Evening with more than usual Beauty, and we may believe it was no small Addition [...]o her Charms in the Eye of Mr. Jones, that she [...]ow happened to have on her Right Arm this very Muff.

She was playing one of her Father's favourite Tunes, and he was leaning on her Chair when the Muff fell over her Fingers, and put her out. This [...]o disconcerted the Squire, that he snatched the Muff from her, and with a hearty Curse threw it into the [...]ire. Sophia instantly started up, and with the ut­most Eagerness recovered it from the Flames.

Though this Incident will probably appear of little [...]onsequence to many of our Readers, yet, trifling as was, it had so violent an Effect on poor Jones, that [...]e thought it our Duty to relate it. In reality, there [...]e many little Circumstances too often omitted by judicious Historians, from which Events of the ut­most Importance arise. The World may indeed be [...]onsidered as a vast Machine, in which the great Wheels are originally set in Motion by those which [...]e very minute, and almost imperceptible to any but [...]e strongest Eyes.

Thus, not all the Charms, of the incomparable So­phia; not all the dazzling Brightness, and languishing softness of her Eyes; the Harmony of her Voice, [...] of her Person; not all her Wit, good Humour, Greatness of Mind, or sweetness of Disposition, had [...]een able so absolutely to conquer and enslave the [...]eart of poor Jones, as this little Incident of the Muff. Thus the Poet sweetly sings of Troy.

—Capti (que) dolis lachrymis (que) coacti
Quos ne (que) Tydides, nec Larissaeus Achilles,
Non anni domuere decem, non mille Carinae.
[Page 218] What Diomede, or Thetis' greater Son,
A thousand Ships, nor ten Years Siege had done,
False Fears, and fawning Words, the City won.

DRYDEN.

The Citadel of Jones was now taken by Surprize All those Considerations of Honour and Prudence which our Heroe had lately with so much milita [...] Wisdom placed as Guards over the Avenues of h [...] Heart, ran away from their Posts, and the God Love marched in in Triumph.

CHAP. V.

A very long Chapter, containing a very great Inciden [...]

BUT though this victorious Deity easily expelle [...] his avowed Enemies from the Heart of Jones, [...] found it more difficult to supplant the Garrison whi [...] he himself had placed there. To lay aside all Allgory, the Concern for what must become of po [...] Molly, greatly disturbed and perplexed the Mind the worthy Youth. The superior Merit of Sophia totally ecclipsed, or rather extinguished all the Bea [...] ­ties of the poor Girl; but compassion instead of Con­tempt succeeded to Love. He was convinced t [...] Girl had placed all her Affections, and all her Prosp [...] of future Happiness in him only. For this he ha [...] he knew, given sufficient Occasion, by the utmo [...] Profusion of Tenderness towards her: A Tender­ness which he had taken every Means to persuade [...] he would always maintain. She, on her Side, h [...] assured him of her firm Belief in his Promise, a [...] had with the most solemn Vows declared, that his fulfilling, or breaking these Promises, it depend [...] whether she should be the happiest, or the most mi [...] rable of Womankind. And to be the Author this highest Degree of Misery to a human Bei [...] was a Thought on which he could not bear to ru [...] nate a single Moment. He considered this poor [Page 219] as having sacrificed to him every Thing in her little Power; as having been at her own Expence the Ob­ject of his Pleasure; as sighing and languishing for him even at that very Instant. Shall then, says he, my Recovery, for which she hath so ardently wish­ed; shall my Presence which she hath so eagerly ex­pected, instead of giving her that Joy with which she hath flattered herself, cast her at once down into Misery and Despair? Can I be such a Villain? Here, when the Genius of poor Molly seem'd triumphant, the Love of Sophia towards him, which now appear­ed no longer dubious, rushed upon his Mind, and bore away every Obstacle before it.

At length it occurred to him, that he might possibly be able to make Molly amends another Way; name­ly, by giving her a Sum of Money. This never­theless, he almost despaired of her accepting, when he recollected the frequent and vehement Assurances he had received from her, that the World put in Ballance with him, would make her no amends for his Loss. However, her extreme Poverty, and chief­ly her egregious Vanity (somewhat of which hath been already hinted to the Reader,) gave him some little Hope, that notwithstanding all her avowed Tenderness, she might in Time be brought to content herself with a Fortune superiour to her Expectation, and which might indulge her Vanity, by setting her above all her Equals. He resolved therefore, to take the first Opportunity of making a Proposal of this Kind.

One Day accordingly, when his Arm was so well recovered, that he could walk easily with it slung in a Sash, he stole forth, at a Season when the Squire was engaged in his Field Exercises, and visited his Fair one. Her Mother and Sisters, whom he found caking their Tea, informed him first that Molly was not at Home; but afterwards, the elder Sister ac­quainted him with a malicious Smile, that she was [Page 220] above Stairs abed. Tom had no Objection to this Situation of his Mistress, and immediately ascended the Ladder which led towards her Bed-Chamber but when he came to the Top, he, to his great Sur­prize, found the Door fast; nor could he for some Time obtain any Answer from within; for Molly, as she herself afterwards informed him, was fast asleep.

The Extremes of Grief and Joy have been remark­ed to produce very similar Effects; and when either of these rushes on us by Surprize, it is apt to create such a total Perturbation and Confusion, that we are often thereby deprived of the Use of all our Faculties. It cannot therefore be wondered at, that the unexpected Sight of Mr. Jones should so strongly operate on the Mind of Molly, and should overwhelm he [...] with such Confusion, that for some Minutes she wa [...] unable to express the great Raptures, with which the Reader will suppose she was affected on this Occasion [...] As for Jones, he was so entirely possessed, and as i [...] were enchanted by the Presence of his beloved Object that he for a while forgot Sophia, and consequently the principal Purpose of his Visit.

This, however, soon recurred to his Memory and after the first Transports of their Meeting were over, he found Means by Degrees to introduce a Dis­course on the fatal Consequences which must attend their Amour, if Mr. Allworthy, who had strictly for bidden him ever seeing her more, should discover that he still carried on this Commerce. Such a Dis­covery, which his Enemies gave him Reason to thing would be unavoidable, must, he said, end in his Ruin, and consequently in hers. Since, therefore, their hard Fates had determined that they must separate, he advised her to bear it with Resolution, and swore he would never omit any Opportunity through the Course of his Life, of shewing her the Sincerity of his Af­fection, by providing for her in a Manner beyond her utmost Expectation, or even beyond her wishes [Page 221] if ever that should be in his Power; concluding, at last, that she might soon find some Man who would marry her, and who would make her much happier than she could be by leading a disreputable Life with him.

Molly remained a few Moments in Silence, and then bursting into a Flood of Tears, she began to up­braid him in the following Words. 'And is this your Love for me, to forsake me in this Manner, now you have ruined me? How often, when I have told you that all Men are false and Perjury alike, and grow tired of us as soon as ever they have had their wicked Wills of us, how often have you sworn you would never forsake me? And can you be such a Perjury Man after all? What signifies all the Riches in the World to me without you, now you have gained my Heart, so you have—you have—? Why do you mention another Man to me? I can never love any other Man as long as I live. All other Men are nothing to me. If the greatest Squire in all the Country would come a suiting to me to­morrow, I would not give my Company to him. No, I shall always hate and despise the whole Sex for your Sake—'

She was proceeding thus, when an Accident put a Stop to her Tongue, before it had run out half its Career. The Room, or rather Garret, in which Molly [...]ay, being up one Pair of Stairs, that is to say, at the Top of the House, was of a sloping Figure, resembling the great Delta of the Greeks. The English Reader may, perhaps, form a better Idea of it, by being told, that it was impossible to stand upright any where but in the Middle. Now, as this Room wanted the Con­veniency of a Closet, Molly had, to supply that De­fect, nailed up an old Rug against the Rafters of the House, which enclosed a little Hole where her best Apparel, such as the Remains of that Sack which we have formerly mentioned, some Caps, and other [Page 222] Things with which she had lately provided herself, were hung up and secured from the Dust.

This inclosed Place exactly fronted the Foot of the Bed, to which, indeed, the Rug hung so near, that it served in a Manner, to supply the Want of Cur­tains. Now, whether Molly in the Agonies of her Rage, pushed this Rug with her Feet; or, Jones might touch it; or whether the Pin or Nail gave way of its own Accord, I am not certain; but as Molly pronounced those last Words, which are recorded a­bove, the wicked Rug got loose from its Fastning, and discovered every thing hid behind it; where a­mong other female Utensils appeared—(with Shame I write it, and with Sorrow will it be read)—the Philosopher Square, in a Posture (for the Place would not near admit of his standing upright) as ridiculous as can possibly be conceived.

The Posture, indeed, in which he stood, was not greatly unlike that of a Soldier who is tyed Neck and Heels; or rather resembling the Attitude in which we often see Fellows in the public Streets of London, who are not suffering but deserving Punishment by so stand­ing. He had a Night-cap belonging to Molly on his Head, and his two large Eyes, the Moment the Rug [...] fell, stared directly at Jones; so that when the Idea of Philosophy was added to the Figure now discovered, it would have been very difficult for any Spectator to have refrained from immoderate Laughter.

I question not but the Surprize of the Reader will be here equal to that of Jones; as the Suspicions which must arise from the Appearance of this wise and grave Man in such a Place, may seem so incon­sistent with that Character, which he hath, doubtless, maintained hitherto, in the Opinion of every one.

But to confess the Truth, this Inconsistency is ra­ther imaginary than real. Philosophers are composed of Flesh and Blood as well as other human Creatures; [Page 223] and however sublimated and refined the Theory of these may be, a little practical Frailty is as incident to them as to other Mortals. It is, indeed, in The­ [...]ry only and not in Practice, as we have before hint­ed, that consists the Difference: For though such great Beings think much better and more wisely, they always act exactly like other Men. They know ve­ry well how to subdue all Appetites and Passions, and [...]o despise both Pain and Pleasure; and this Know­ledge affords much delightful Contemplation, and is easily acquired; but the Practice would be vexatious and troublesome; and, therefore, the same Wisdom which teaches them to know this, teaches them to avoid carrying it into Execution.

Mr. Square happened to be at Church, on that Sunday when, as the Reader may be pleased to re­member, the Appearance of Molly in her Sack had caused all this Disturbance. Here he first observed her and was so pleased with her Beauty, that he pre­vailed with the young Gentlemen to change their in­tended Ride that Evening, that he might pass by the Habitation of Molly, and, by that Means, might ob­tain a second Chance of seeing her. This Reason, however, as he did not at that Time mention to any, [...]o neither did we think proper to communicate it then to the Reader.

Among other Particulars which constituted the Un­fitness of Things in Mr. Square's Opinion, Danger and Difficulty were two. The Difficulty, there­fore, which he apprehended there might be in cor­rupting this young Wench, and the Danger which would accrue to his Character on the Discovery, were [...]ach strong Dissuasives, that it is probable, he at first intended to have contented himself with the pleasing Ideas which the Sight of Beauty furnishes us with. These the gravest Men, after a full Meal of Medita­tion, often allow themselves by Way of Desert: For which Purpose, certain Books and Pictures find their [Page 224] Way into the most private Recesses of their Study, and a certain liquorish Part of natural Philosophy is often the principal Subject of their Conversation.

But when the Philosopher heard a Day or two af­terwards, that the Fortress of Virtue had already been subdued, he began to give a larger Scope to his De­sires. His Appetite was not of that squeamish Kind which cannot feed on a Dainty because another had tasted it. In short, he liked the Girl the better for the Want of that Chastity, which, if she had possessed it, must have been a Bar to his Pleasures; he pur­sued, and obtained her.

The Reader will be mistaken, if he thinks Molly gave Square the Preference to her younger Lover On the contrary, had she been confined to the Choice of one only, Tom Jones would, undoubtedly, have been, of the two, the victorious Person. No [...] was it solely the Consideration that two are better than one (tho' this had it's proper Weight) to which Mr. Square owed his Success; the Absence of Jones during his Confinement was an unlucky Circumstance; and in that Interval, some well chosen presents from the Philosopher so softened and unguarded the Girl's Heart, that a favourable Opportunity became irresista­ble, and Square triumphed over the poor Remains of Virtue which subsisted in the Bosom of Molly.

It was now about a Fortnight since this Conquest, when Jones paid the above-mentioned Visit to his Mis­tress, at a time when she and Square were in Bed to­gether. This was the true Reason why the Mother denied her as we have seen; for as the old Woman-shared in the Profits arising from the Iniquity of her Daughter, she encouraged and protected her in it to the utmost of her Power; but such was the Envy and Hatred which the eldest Sister bore towards Molly, that, notwithstanding she had some Part of the Booty, she would willingly have parted with this to ruin her Sis­ter, and spoil her Trade. Hence she had acquainted [Page 225] Jones with her being above Stairs in Bed, in Hopes that he might have caught her in Square's Arms. This, however, Molly found Means to prevent, as the Door was fastned; which gave her an Opportu­nity of conveying her Lover behind that Rug or Blan­ [...]et where he now was unhappily discovered.

Square no sooner made his Appearance than Molly flung herself back in her Bed, cried out she was un­done, and abandoned herself to Despair. This poor Girl, who was yet but a Novice in her Business, had [...]ot arrived to that Perfection of Assurance which helps off a Town Lady in any Extremity; and either prompts her with an Excuse, or else inspires her to brazen out the Matter with her Husband; who from Love of Quiet, or out of Fear of his Reputation, and sometimes, perhaps, from Fear of the Gallant, who, like Mr. Constant in the Play, wears a Sword, is glad to shut his Eyes, and contented to put his Horns in his Pocket: Molly, on the contrary, was silenced by this Evidence, and very fairly gave up a Cause which she had hitherto with so many Tears, and with such solemn and vehement Protestations of the purest Love and Constancy, maintained.

As to the Gentleman behind the Arras, he was not in much less Consternation. He stood for a while motionless, and seemed equally at a Loss what to say, or whither to direct his Eyes. Jones, tho' perhaps, the most astonished of the three, first found his Tongue; and, being immediately recovered from those uneasy Sensations, which Molly by her upbraid­ings had occasioned, he burst into a loud Laughter, and then saluting Mr. Square, advanced to take him by the Hand, and to relieve him from his Place of Confinement.

Square, being now arrived in the Middle of the Room, in which Part only he could stand upright, looked at Jones with a very grave Countenance, and [Page 226] said to him, 'Well, Sir, I see you enjoy this mighty Discovery, and, I dare swear, taste great Delight in the Thoughts of exposing me: but if you will consider the Matter fairly, you will find you are yourself only to blame. I have done nothing for which that Part of the World which judges of Mat­ters by the Rule of Right will condemn me. Fit­ness is governed by the Nature of Things, and not by Customs, Forms, or municipal Laws. No­thing is, indeed, unfit which is not unnatural.' 'Well reasoned, old Boy,' answered Jones; 'but why dost thou think I should desire to expose thee? I promise thee, I was never better pleased with thee in my Life; and unless thou hast a Mind to discover it thy­self, this Affair may remain a profound Secret for me.' 'Nay, Mr. Jones,' replied Square, 'I would not be thought to undervalue Reputation. Good Fame is a Species of the KALON, and it is by no Means fitting to neglect it. Besides to murder one's own Reputation, is a kind of Suicide, a detestable odious Vice. If you think proper, therefore, to conceal any Infirmity of mine; (for such I may have, since no Man is perfectly perfect;) I promise you I will not betray myself. Things may be fit­ting to be done, which are not fitting to be boasted of: for by the perverse Judgment of the World, That often becomes the Subject of Censure, which is, in Truth, not only innocent but laudable.' 'Right!' cries Jones, 'what can be more innocent than the Indulgence of a natural Appetite? or what more laudable than the Propagation of our Species?' 'To be serious with you,' answered Square, 'I profess they always appeared so to me.' 'And yet,' said Jones, 'you was of a different Opinion when my Affair with this Girl was first discovered.' 'Why, I must confess,' says Square, 'as the Matter was misrepresented to me by that Parson Thwakum, I might condemn the Corruption of Innocence. It [Page 227] was that, Sir, it was that—and that—: For you must know, Mr. Jones, in the Consideration of Fit­ness, very minute Circumstances, Sir, very minute Circumstances cause great Alteration.' —'Well,' cries Jones, 'be that as it will, it shall be your own Fault, as I have promised you, if you ever hear any more of this Adventure. Behave kindly to the Girl, and I will never open my Lips concern­ing the Matter to any one. And, Molly, do you be faithful to your Friend, and I will not only for­give your Infidelity to me; but will do you all the Service I can.' So saying, he took a hasty Leave, and slipping down the Ladder, retired with much Expedition.

Square was rejoyced to find this Adventure was likely to have no worse Conclusion; and as for Mol­ly, being recovered from her Confusion, she began at first to upbraid Square with having been the Oc­casion of her Loss of Jones; but that Gentleman soon found the Means of mitigating her Anger, part­ly by a small Nostrum from his Purse, of wonder­ful and approved Efficacy in purging off the ill Hu­mours of the Mind, and in restoring it to a good Temper.

She then poured forth a vast Profusion of Ten­derness towards her new Lover; turned all she had said to Jones, and Jones himself into Ridicule, and vowed, tho' he had had the Possession of her Person, that none but Square had ever been Master of her Heart.

CHAP. VI.

By comparing which with the former, the Reader may possibly correct some Abuse which he hath formerly been guilty of, in the Application of the Word LOVE.

THE Infidelity of Molly, which Jones had now discovered, would, perhaps, have vindicated a [Page 228] much greater Degree of Resentment than he expressed on the Occasion; and if he had abandoned her direct­ly from that Moment, very few, I believe, would have blamed him.

Certain, however, it is, that he saw her in the Light of Compassion; and tho' his Love to her was not of that Kind which could give him any great Uneasiness at her Inconstancy, yet was he not a little shocked on reflecting that he had himself originally corrupted her Innocence; for to this Corruption he imputed all the Vice, into which she appeared now so likely to plunge herself.

This Consideration gave him no little Uneasiness, till Betty, the elder Sister, was so kind some time af­terwards entirely to cure him by a Hint, that one Will Barnes, and not himself, had been the first Seducer of Molly; and that the little Child, which he had hitherto so certainly concluded to be his own, might very probably have an equal Title at least, to claim Barnes for its Father.

Jones eagerly pursued this Scent when he had first received it; and in a very short Time was sufficiently assured that the Girl had told him Truth, not only by the Confession of the Fellow, but, at last, by that of Molly herself.

This Will Barnes was a Country Gallant, and had acquired as many Trophies of this Kind as any En­sign or Attorney's Clerk in the Kingdom. He had, indeed, reduced several Women to a State of utter Profligacy, had broke the Hearts of some, and had the Honour of occasioning the violent Death of one poor Girl, who had either drowned herself, or, what was rather more probable, had been drowned by him.

Among other of his Conquests, this Fellow had triumphed over the Heart of Betty Seagrim. He had made love to her long before Molly was grown to be a fit Object of that Pastime; but had afterwards de­serted her, and applied to her Sister, with whom he [Page 229] had almost immediate Success. Now Will had, in reality, the sole Possession of Molly's Affection, while Jones and Square were almost equally Sacrifices to her Interest, and to her Pride.

Hence had grown that implacable Hatred which we have before seen raging in the Mind of Betty; though we did not think it necessary to assign this Cause soon­er, as Envy itself was alone adequate to all the Ef­fects we have mentioned.

Jones was become perfectly easy by Possession of this Secret with Regard to Molly; but as to Sophia, he was far from being in a State of Tranquillity; nay, indeed, he was under the most violent Perturbation: His Heart was now, if I may use the Metaphor, en­tirely evacuated, and Sophia took absolute Possession of it. He loved her with an unbounded Passion, and plainly saw the tender Sentiments she had for him; yet could not this Assurance lessen his Despair of ob­taining the Consent of her Father, nor the Horrors which attended his Pursuit of her by any base or treacherous Method.

The Injury which he must thus do to Mr. Western, and the Concern which would accrue to Mr. Allwor­thy, were Circumstances that tormented him all Day, and haunted him on his Pillow at Night. His Life was a constant Struggle between Honour and Incli­nation, which alternately triumphed over each other in his Mind. He often resolved in the Absence of Sophia, to leave her Father's House, and to see her no more; and as often, in her presence, forgot all those Resolutions, and determined to pursue her at the Hazard of his Life, and at the Forfeiture of what was much dearer to him.

This Conflict began soon to produce very strong and visible Effects: For he lost all his usual Spright­liness and Gaiety of Temper, and became not only melancholy when alone, but dejected and absent in Company; nay, if ever he put on a forced Mirth, to [Page 230] comply with Mr. Western's Humour, the Constraint appeared so plain, that he may seem to have been giv­ing the strongest Evidence of what he endeavoured to conceal by such Ostentation.

It may, perhaps, be a Question, whether the Art which he used to conceal his Passion, or the Means which honest Nature employed to reveal it, betrayed him most: For while Art made him more than ever reserved to Sophia, and forbad him to address any of his Discourse to her; nay, to avoid meeting her Eyes, with the utmost Caution; Nature was no less busy in counterplotting him. Hence, at the Approach of the young Lady, he grew pale; and if this was sud­den, started. If his Eyes accidentally met hers, the Blood rushed into his Cheeks, and his Countenance became all over Scarlet. If common Civility ever o­bliged him to speak to her, as to drink her Health at Table, his Tongue was sure to faulter. If he touch­ed her, his Hand, nay his whole Frame trembled. And if any Discourse tended, however remotely, to raise the Idea of Love, an involuntary Sigh seldom failed to steal from his Bosom. Most of which Accidents Nature was wonderfully industrious to throw in his Way.

All these Symptoms escaped the Notice of the Squire; but not so of Sophia. She soon perceived these Agitations of Mind in Jones, and was at no Loss to discover the Cause; for indeed she recognized it in her own Breast. And this Recognition is, I sup­pose, that Sympathy which hath been so often noted in Lovers, and which will sufficiently account for her being so much quicker-sighted than her Father.

But, to say the Truth, there is a more simple and plain Method of accounting for that prodigious Su­periority of Penetration which we must observe in some Men over the rest of the human Species, and one which will not only serve in the Case of Lovers, but of all others. For whence is it that the Knave is ge­nerally [Page 231] so quick-sighted to those Symptoms and Ope­rations of Knavery which often dupe an honest Man of a much better Understanding? There surely is no general Sympathy among Knaves, nor have they, like Free Masons, any common Sign of Communication. In reality, it is only because they have the same thing in their Heads, and their thoughts are turned the same Way. Thus, that Sophia saw, and that Western did not see the plain Symptoms of Love in Jones can be no Wonder, when we consider that the Idea of Love never entered into the Head of the Father, whereas the Daughter, at present, thought of nothing else.

When Sophia was well satisfied of the Passion which tormented poor Jones, and no less certain that she herself was its Object, she had not the least Diffi­culty in discovering the true Cause of his present Be­haviour. This highly endeared him to her, and rais­ed in her Mind two of the best Affections which any Lover can wish to raise in a Mistress. These were Esteem and Pity; for sure the most outragiously rigid among her Sex will excuse her pitying a Man, whom she saw miserable on her own Account; nor can they blame her for esteeming one who visibly from the most honourable Motives, endeavoured to smother a Flame in his own Bosom, which, like the famous Spartan Theft, was preying upon, and consuming his very Vitals. Thus his Backwardness, his Shun­ning her, his Coldness and his Silence, were the for­wardest, the most diligent, the warmest, and most eloquent Advocates; and wrought so violently on her sensible and tender Heart, that she soon felt for him all those gentle Sensations which are consistent with a virtuous and elevated female Mind—In short, all which esteem, Gratitude and Pity, can inspire, in such, towards an agreeable Man—Indeed, all which the nicest Delicacy can allow—In a Word,—she was in Love with him to Distraction.

[Page 232] One Day, this young Couple accidentally met in the Garden, at the End of two Walks, which were both bounded by that Canal in which Jones had for­merly risqued drowning to retrieve the little Bird that Sophia had there lost.

This Place had been of late much frequented by Sophia. Here she used to ruminate, with a Mixture of Pain and Pleasure, on an Incident, which, how­ever trifling in itself, had possibly sown the first Seeds of that Affection which was now arrived to such Ma­turity in her Heart.

Here then this young Couple met. They were almost close together before either of them knew any Thing of the other's Approach. A By-stander would have discovered sufficient Marks of Confusion, in the Countenance of each; but they felt too much them­selves to make any Observation. As soon as Jones had a little recovered his first Surprize, he accosted the young Lady with some of the ordinary forms of Salutati­on, which she in the same Manner returned, and their Conversation began, as usual, on the delicious Beau­ty of the Morning. Hence they passed to the Beauty of the Place, on which Jones launched forth very high Encomiums. When they came to the Tree whence he had formerly tumbled into the Canal, Sophia could not help reminding him of that Accident, and said, 'I fancy, Mr. Jones, you have some little shudder­ing when you see that Water.' 'I assure you, Madam,' answered Jones, 'the Concern you felt at the Loss of your little Bird, will always appear to me the highest Circumstance in that Adventure. Poor little Tommy, there is the Branch he stood up­on. How could the little Wretch have the Folly to fly away from that State of Happiness in which I had the Honour to place him? His Fate was a just Punishment for his Ingratitude.' 'Upon my Word, Mr. Jones.' said she, 'your Gallantry very nar­rowly escaped as severe a Fate. Sure, the Re­membrance [Page 233] must affect you.' 'Indeed, Madam,' answered he, 'if I have any Reason to reflect with Sorrow on it, it is, perhaps, that the Water had not been a little deeper, by which I might have es­caped many bitter Heart-achs, that Fortune seems to have in Store for me.' 'Fie, Mr. Jones.' re­plied Sophia, 'I am sure you cannot be in Earnest now. This affected Contempt of Life is only an Excess of your Complaisance to me. You would endeavour to lessen the Obligation of having twice ventured it for my Sake. Beware the third Time.'—She spoke these last Words with a Smile and a Soft­ness inexpressible. Jones answered with a Sigh, 'He feared it was already too late for Caution,'—and then looking tenderly and stedfastly on her, he cry'd, 'Oh! Miss Western,—Can you desire me to live? Can you wish me so ill?'— Sophia looking down on the Ground, answered with some Hesitation. Indeed, Mr. Jones, I do not wish you ill.'—Oh! I know too well that heavenly Temper,' cries Jones, 'that divine Goodness which is beyond e­very other Charm.' Nay, now,' answered she, I understand you not.—I can stay no longer,—I—. I would not be understood,' cries he,' 'nay, I can't be understood. I know not what I say. Meeting here so unexpectedly—I have been un­guarded—for Heaven's Sake pardon me, if I have said any Thing to offend you—I did not mean it—indeed, I would rather have died—nay, the very Thought would kill me.' 'You surprize me.' answered she,—'How can you possibly think you have offended me?' 'Fear, Madam,' says he, easily runs into Madness; and there is no Degree of Fear like that which I feel of offending you. How can I speak then? Nay don't look angrily at me, one Frown will destroy me.—I mean nothing—Blame my Eyes, or blame those Beauties— [Page 234] What am I saying? Pardon me if I have said too much. My Heart overflowed. I have struggled with my Love to the utmost, and have endeavour­ed to conceal a Fever which preys on my Vitals, and will, I hope, soon make it impossible for me' ever to offend you more.

Mr. Jones now fell a trembling as if he had been shaken with the Fit of an Ague. Sophia, who was in a Situation not very different from his, answered in these Words: 'Mr. Jones, I will not affect to misunderstand you; indeed I understand you too well; but for Heaven's Sake, if you have any Af­fection for me, let me make the best of my way into the House. I wish I may be able to support myself thither.'

Jones, who was hardly able to support himself, offered her his Arm, which she condescended to ac­cept, but begged he would not mention a Word more to her of this Nature at present. He promised he would not, insisting only on her Forgiveness of what Love, without the Leave of his Will, had forc­ed from him: This, she told him, he knew how to obtain by his future Behaviour; and thus this young Pair tottered and trembled along, the Lover not once daring to squeeze the Hand of his Mistress, tho' it was locked in his.

Sophia immediately retired to her Chamber, where Mrs. Honour and the Hartshorn were summoned to her Assistance. As to poor Jones, the only Relief to his distempered Mind, was an unwelcome Piece of News, which, as it opens a Scene of a different Na­ture from those in which the Reader hath lately been conversant, will be communicated to him in the next Chapter.

CHAP. VII.

In which Mr. Allworthy appears on a Sick-Bed.

MR. Western was become so fond of Jones, that he was unwilling to part with him, tho' his Arm had been long since cured; and Jones, either from his Love of Sport, or from some other Reason, was easily persuaded to continue at his House, which he did sometimes for a Fortnight together without pay­ing a single Visit at Mr. Allworthy's; nay, without ever hearing from thence.

Mr. Allworthy had been for some Days indisposed with a Cold, which had been attended with a little Fe­ver. This he had, however, neglected, as it was usual with him to do all Manner of Disorders which did not confine him to his Bed, or prevent his several Faculties from performing their ordinary Functions. A Conduct which we would by no Means be thought to approve or recommend to Imitation: For surely the Gentlemen of the Aesculapian Art are in the Right in advising, that the Moment the Disease is entered at one Door, the Physician should be introduced at the other; what else is meant by that old Adage, Venienti [...]ccurrite Morbo? "Oppose a Distemper at its first Approach." Thus the Doctor and the Disease meet in fair and equal Conflict; whereas, by giving Time to the latter, we often suffer him to fortify and en­trench himself, like a French Army; so that the learned Gentleman finds it very difficult, and some­times impossible to come at the Enemy. Nay some­times by gaining Time, the Disease applies to the French military Politics, and corrupts Nature over to his Side, and then all the Powers of Physick must ar­rive too late. Agreeable to these Observations was, I remember, the complaint of the great Doctor Mis­aubin, who used very pathetically to lament the late Applications which were made to his Skill: Saying, [Page 236] 'Bygar, me believe my Pation take me for de Under taker: For dey never send for me till de Physicion have kill dem.'

Mr. Allworthy's Distemper, by Means of this Neg­lect, gained such Ground, that when the Increase o [...] his Fever obliged him to send for Assistance, the Doc­tor at his first Arrival shook his Head, wished he had been sent for sooner, and intimated that he thought him in very imminent Danger. Mr. Allworthy, who had settled all his Affairs in the World, and was as well prepared, as it is possible for human Nature to be, for the other, received this Information with the utmost Calmness and Unconcern. He could indeed, whenever he laid himself down to Rest, say with Cato in the tragical Poem,

—Let Guilt or Fear
Disturb Man's Rest, Cato knows neither of them;
Indifferent in his Choice, to sleep or die.

In Reality, he could say this with ten times more Reason and Confidence than Cato, or any other proud Fellow among the antient or modern Heroes: For he was not only devoid of Fear; but might be consi­dered as a faithful Labourer, when at the End of Harvest, he is summoned to receive his Reward at the Hands of a bountiful Master.

The good Man gave immediate Orders for all his Family to be summoned round him. None of these were then abroad, but Mrs. Blifil who had been some Time in London, and Mr. Jones, whom the Reader hath just parted from at Mr. Western's and who re­ceived this Summons just as Sophia had left him.

The News of Mr. Allworthy's Danger (for the Servant told him he was dying) drove all Thoughts of Love out of his Head. He hurried instantly into the Chariot which was sent for him, and ordered the [Page 237] Coachman to drive with all imaginable Haste; nor did the Idea of Sophia, I believe, once occur to him on the Way.

And now, the whole Family, namely, Mr. Blifil, Mr. Jones, Mr. Thwackum, Mr. Square, and some of the Servants (for such were Mr. Allworthy's Or­ders) being all assembled round his Bed, the good Man sat up in it, and was beginning to speak, when Blifil fell to blubbering; and began to express very loud and bitter Lamentations. Upon this Mr. All­worthy shook him by the Hand, and said, 'Do not sorrow thus, my dear Nephew, at the most ordi­nary of all human Occurrences. When Misfor­tunes befal our Friends we are justly grieved: For those are Accidents which might often have been avoided, and which may seem to render the Lot of one Man, more peculiarly unhappy than that of others; but Death is certainly unavoidable, and is that common Lot, in which alone the Fortunes of all Men agree; nor is the Time when this happens to us material. If the wisest of Men hath com­pared Life to a Span, surely we may be allowed to consider it as a Day. It is my Fate to leave it in the Evening; but those who are taken away ear­lier, have only lost a few Hours, at the best little worth lamenting, and much oftner Hours of La­bour and Fatigue, of Pain and Sorrow. One of the Roman Poets, I remember, likens our leaving Life to our Departure from a Feast. A Thought which hath often occurred to me, when I have seen Men struggling to protract an Entertainment, and to enjoy the Company of their Friends a few Moments longer. Alas! how short is the most protracted of such Enjoyments! How immaterial the Difference between him who retires the soonest, and him who stays the latest! This is seeing Life in the best View, and this Unwillingness to quit [Page 238] our Friends is the most amiable Motive, from which we can derive the Fear of Death; and yo [...] the longest Enjoyment which we can hope for o [...] this Kind is of so trivial a Duration, that it is to [...] wise Man truly contemptible. Few Men, I own think in this Manner: for, indeed, few Men think of Death 'till they are in its Jaws. However gi­gantic and terrible an Object this may appear when it approaches them, they are nevertheless incapa­ble of seeing it at any Distance; nay, tho' they have been ever so much frightned and alarmed when they have apprehended themselves in Danger o [...] dying, they are no sooner cleared from this Ap­prehension than even the Fears of it are erased from their Minds. But alas! he who escapes from Death is not pardoned, he is only reprieved, and reprieved to a short Day.'

'Grieve, therefore, no more, my dear Child, on this Occasion; an Event which may happen every Hour, which every Element, nay almost every Particle of Matter that surrounds us is capa­ble of producing, and which must and will most unavoidably reach us all at last, ought neither to occasion our Surprize, nor our Lamentation.'

'My Physician having acquainted me (which I take very kindly of him) that I am in Danger of leaving you all very shortly, I have determined to say a few Words to you at this our Parting, before my Distemper, which I find grows very fast upon me, puts it out of my Power.'

'But I shall waste my Strength too much.—I intended to speak concerning my Will, which tho' I have settled long ago, I think proper to mention such Heads of as concern any of you, that I may have the Comfort of perceiving you are all satisfied with the Provision I have there made for you.'

'Nephew Blifil, I leave you the Heir to my whole Estate, except only 500l. a Year which is to revert [Page 239] to you after the Death of your Mother, and except one other Estate of 500l. a Year, and the Sum of 6000l. which I have bestowed in the following Manner.'

'The Estate of 500l. a Year I have given to you, Mr. Jones. And as I know the Inconvenience which attends the Want of ready Money, I have added 1000l. in Specie. In this I know not whether I have exceeded, or fallen short of your Expectata­tion. Perhaps you will think I have given you too little, and the World will be as ready to condemn me for giving you too much; but the latter Cen­sure I despise, and as to the former, unless you should entertain that common Error, which I have often heard in my Life pleaded as an Excuse for a total Want of Charity; namely, that instead of rais­ing Gratitude by voluntary Acts of Bounty, we are apt to raise Demands, which of all others are the most boundless and most difficult to satisfiy.—Pardon me the bare Mention of this, I will not suspect any such Thing.'

Jones flung himself at his Benefactor's Feet, and taking eagerly hold of his Hand, assured him, his Goodness to him, both now, and at all other Times, had so infinitely exceeded not only his Merit, but his Hopes, that no Words could express his Sense of it. 'And I assure you, Sir, said he, your present Gene­rosity hath left me no other Concern than for the pre­sent melancholy Occasion.—Oh, my Friend! my Father!' Here his Words choaked him, and he turn­ed away to hide a Tear which was starting from his Eyes.

Allworthy then gently squeezed his Hand, and pro­ceeded thus. 'I am convinced, my Child, that you have much Goodness, Generosity and Honour in your Temper, if you will add Prudence and Reli­gion to these, you must be happy: For the three [Page 240] former Qualities, I admit, make you worthy o [...] Happiness, but they are the latter only which will put you in Possession of it.'

'One thousand Pound I have given to you Mr. Thwackum; a Sum, I am convinced, which greatly exceeds your Desires as well as your Wants. How­ever, you will receive it as a Memorial of my Friendship; and whatever Superfluities may redound to you, that Piety which you so rigidly maintain, will instruct you how to dispose of it.'

'A like Sum, Mr. Square, I have bequeathed to you. This, I hope, will enable you to pursue your Profession with better Success than hitherto. I have often observed with Concern, that Distress is more apt to excite Contempt than Commiseration, especially among Men of Business, with whom Po­verty is understood to indicate Want of Ability. But the little I have been able to leave you, will extricate you from those Difficulties with which you have formerly struggled, and then I doubt not but you will meet with sufficient Prosperity to supply what a Man of your Philosophical Temper will re­quire.'

'I find myself growing faint, so I shall refer you to my Will for my Disposition of the Residue. My Servants will there find some Tokens to remember me by, and there are a few Charities which, I trust, my Executors will see faithfully performed. Bless you all.' I am setting out a little before you—

Here a Footman came hastily into the Room, and said there was an Attorney from Salisbury, who had a particular Message, which he said he must commu­nicate to Mr. Allworthy himself: That he seemed in a violent Hurry, and protested he had so much Bu­siness to do, that if he could cut himself into four Quarters, all would not be sufficient.

Go, Child, said Allworthy to Blifil, see what the Gentleman wants. I am not able to do any Business [Page 241] now, nor can he have any with me, in which you [...]re not at present more concerned than myself. Be­ [...]des I really am—I am incapable of seeing any one [...] present, or of any longer Attention. He then sa­ [...]ted them all, saying, perhaps he would be able to [...]e them again, but he should be now glad to com­pose himself a little, finding that he had too much ex­ [...]austed his Spirits in Discourse.

Some of the Company shed Tears at their Parting; [...]nd even the Philosopher Square wiped his Eyes, al­ [...]it unused to the melting Mood. As to Mrs. Wilkins, [...]e dropt her Pearls as fast as the Arabian Trees their Medicinal Gums; for this was a Cermonial which that Gentlewoman never omitted on a proper Occasion.

After this Mr. Allworthy again laid himself down [...]n his Pillow, and endeavoured to compose himself [...]o Rest.

CHAP. VIII.

Containing Matter rather natural than pleasing.

BESIDES Grief for her Master, there was a­nother Source for that briny Stream which so [...]entifully rose above the two Mountainous Cheek [...]ones of the House-keeper. She was no sooner re­ [...]ed, than she began to mutter to herself in the fol­lowing pleasant Strain. 'Sure Master might have made some Difference, methinks, between me and the other Servants. I suppose he hath left me Mourning; but, i-fackins! if that be all, the De­vil shall wear it for me. I'd have his Worship know I am no Beggar. I have saved five hundred Pound in his Service, and after all to be used in this Man­ner. It is a fine Encouragement to Servants to be honest; and to be sure, if I have taken a little some­thing now and then, others have taken ten times as much; and now we are all put in a Lump together. If so be that it be so, the Legacy may go to the [Page 242] Devil with him that gave it. No, I won't give up neither, because that will please some Folks No, I'll buy the gayest Gown I can get, and dan [...] over the old Curmugeon's Grave in it. This i [...] my Reward for taking his Part so often, when a [...] the Country have cried Shame of him for breeding up his Bastard in that Manner; but he is going now where he must pay for all. It would have be comed him better to have repented of his Sins o [...] his Death-Bed, than to glory in them, and give [...] way his Estate out of his own Family to a mis-be gotten Child. Found in his Bed, forsooth! A pre [...] ­ty Story! Ay, ay, those that hide know where [...] find. Lord forgive him, I warrant he hath man more Bastards to answer for, if the Truth wa [...] known. One Comfort is, they will all be know where he is a going now, 'The Servants will fi [...] some Token to remember me by.' Those we [...] the very Words, I shall never forget them, it was to live a thousand Years. Ay, ay, I shall re­member you for huddling me among the Servant One would have thought he might have mention my Name as well as that of Square; but he is Gentleman forsooth, though he had not Clothes his Back when he came hither first. Marry co [...] up with such Gentlemen! though he hath lived he [...] these many Years, I don't believe there is arr [...] Servant in the House ever saw the Colour of [...] Money. The Devil shall wait upon such Gentle­men for me.' Much more of the like kind she mut­tered to herself; but this Taste shall suffice to the Rea­der.

Neither Thwackum nor Square were much bet [...] satisfied with their Legacies. Tho' they breath not their Resentment so loud, yet from the Discont [...] which appeared in their Countenances, as well from the following Dialogue, we collect that no g [...] Pleasure reigned in their Minds.

[Page 243] About an Hour after they had left the sick Room, [...]quare met Thwackum in the Hall, and accosted him [...]us, 'Well, Sir, have you heard any News of your Friend since we parted from him? 'If you mean Mr. Allworthy,' answered Thwackum, 'I think you might rather give him the Appellation of your Friend: For he seems to me to have deserved that Title.' 'The Title is as good on your Side,' re­ [...]lied Square, 'for his Bounty, such as it is, hath been equal to both.' 'I should not have mention­ed it first,' cries Thwackum, 'but since you begin, I must inform you I am of a Different Opinion. There is a wide Distinction between voluntary Fa­vours and Rewards. The Duty I have done in his Family, and the Care I have taken in the Education of his two Boys, are Services for which some Men might have expected a greater Return. I would not have you imagine I am therefore dissatisfied; for St. Paul hath taught me to be content with the little I have. Had the Modicum been less, I should have known my Duty. But though the Scrip­ture obliges me to remain contented, it doth not enjoin me to shut my Eyes to my own Merit, nor restrain me from seeing, when I am injured by an unjust Comparison. Since you provoke me,' re­ [...]urned Square, 'that Injury is done to me: Nor did I ever imagine Mr. Allworthy had held my Friend­ship so light, as to put me in Ballance with one who received his Wages: I know to what it is owing; it proceeds from those narrow Principles which you have been so long endeavouring to infuse into him, in Contempt of every Thing which is great and no­ble. The Beauty and Loveliness of Friendship is too strong for dim Eyes, nor can it be perceived by any other Medium, than that unerring Rule of Right which you have so often endeavoured to ridicule, that you have perverted my Friend's Un­derstanding.' 'I wish,' cries Thwackum, in a Rage, [Page 244] 'I wish for the Sake of his Soul, your damnabl [...] Doctrines have not perverted his Faith. It is [...] this, I impute his present Behaviour so unbecoming a Christian. Who but an Athiest could think [...] leaving the World without having first made up h [...] Account? without confessing his Sins, and receiv­ing that Absolution which he knew he had one [...] the House duly authorised to give him? He w [...] feel the Want of these Necessaries when it is to late. When he is arrived at the Place where the [...] is Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth. It is then [...] will find in what mighty Stead that Heathen God­dess, that Virtue which you and all other Deists [...] the Age adore, will stand him. He will then sum­mon his Priest when there is none to be found, as will lament the Want of that Absolution, without which no Sinner can be safe.' 'If it be so materia [...] says Square, Why don't you present it him [...] 'your own Accord?' 'It hath no Virtue,' cri [...] Thwackum, 'but to those who have sufficient Gra [...] to require it. But why do I talk thus to a Heath [...] and an Unbeliever? It is you who have taught h [...] this Lesson, for which you have been well-rewar­ed in this World, as I doubt not your Disciple w [...] soon be in the other.' 'I know not what y [...] mean by my Reward,' said Square, 'but if you h [...] at that pitiful Memorial of our Friendship, which [...] hath thought fit to bequeath me, I despise it, a [...] nothing but the unfortunate Situation of my C [...] ­cumstances should prevail on me to accept it.

The Physician now arrived, and began to enqu [...] of the two Disputants, How we all did above Stair 'In a miserable Way,' answered Thwackum, ' [...] is no more than I expected,' cries the Doctor but pray what Symptoms have appeared since left you? No good ones, I am afraid,' repl [...] Thwackum, 'after what past at our Departure; [Page 245] think there were little Hopes.' The Bodily Phy­ [...]cian, perhaps, misunderstood the Curer of Souls, and before they came to an Explanation, Mr. Blifil [...]ame to them with a most melancholy Counte­ [...]ance, and acquainted them that he brought sad News: for that his Mother was dead at Salisbury. That she [...]ad been seized on the Road home with the Gout [...]n her Head and Stomach, which had carried her off [...]n a few Hours. 'Good-lack-a-day,' says the Doc­ [...]or, 'One cannot answer for Events; but I wish I [...] had been at Hand to have been called in. The [...] Gout is a Distemper which is difficult to treat, yet [...] I have been remarkably successful in it.' Thwack­um and Square both condoled with Mr. Blifil for the Loss of his Mother, which the one advised him to [...]ear like a Man, and the other like a Christian. The young Gentleman said, he knew very well we were all mortal, and he would endeavour to submit to his Loss, as well as he could. That he could not, how­ever, help complaining a little against the peculiar Se­verity of his Fate, which brought the News of so great [...] Calamity to him by Surprize, and that at a Time when he hourly expected the severest Blow he was [...]apable of feeling from the Malice of Fortune. He did, the present Occasion would put to the Test those [...]xcellent Rudiments, which he had learnt from Mr. Thwackum and Mr. Square, and it would be entirely owing to them, if he was enabled to survive such Misfortunes.

It was now debated whether Mr. Allworthy should be informed of the Death of his Sister: This the Doctor violent opposed, in which, I believe, the whole College will agree with him; but Mr. Blifil said he had received such positive and repeated Orders from his Uncle never to keep any Secret from him, for Fear of the Disquietude which it might give him, that he durst not think of Disobedience, whatever might be the Consequence. He said, for his Part, [Page 246] considering the religious and philosophic Temper o [...] his Uncle, he could not agree with the Doctor in h [...] Apprehensions. He was therefore resolved to com­municate it to him: For if his Uncle recovered (as h [...] heartily prayed he might) he knew he would never for­give an Endeavour to keep a Secret of this Kind from him.

The Physician was forced to submit to these Re­solutions which the two other learned Gentlemen ve­ry highly commended. So together moved Mr. Bli­fil and the Doctor towards the sick Room; whe [...] the Physician first entered, and approached the Be [...] in order to feel his Patient's Pulse, which he had n [...] sooner done, than he declared he was much better that the last Application had succeeded to a Miracle and had brought the Fever to intermit. So that, h [...] said, there appeared now to be as little Danger as h [...] had before apprehended there were Hopes.

To say the Truth, Mr. Alworthy's Situation ha [...] never been so bad, as the great Caution of the Docto [...] had represented it; but as a wise General never de­spises his Enemy, however inferior his Force ma [...] be, so neither doth a wise Physician ever despise Distemper, however inconsiderable. As the forme [...] preserves the same strict Discipline, places the sam [...] Guards, and employs the same Scouts, tho' the Ene­my be never so weak; so the latter maintains the sam [...] Gravity of Countenance, and shakes his Head wi [...] the same significant Air, let the Distemper be neve [...] so trifling. And both, among many other goo [...] ones, may assign this solid Reason for their Conduct that by these Means the greater Glory redounds [...] them if they gain the Victory, and the less Disgrac [...] if by any unlucky Accident they should happen to b [...] conquered.

Mr. Allworthy had no sooner lifted up his Eye and thanked Heaven for these Hopes of his Recovery than Mr. Blifil drew near with a very dejected Aspect [Page 247] a [...] and having applied his Handkerchief to his Eye, ei­ther to wipe away his Tears, or as Ovid somewhere expresses himself on another Occasion,

Si nullus erit, tamen excute nullum.
'If there be none, wipe away that none.

he communicated to his Uncle what the Reader hath been just before acquainted with.

Allworthy received the News with Concern, with Patience, and with Resignation. He dropt a tender Tear, then composed his Countenance, and at last cried, 'The Lord's Will be done in every Thing.'

He now enquired for the Messenger; but Blifil told him, it had been impossible to detain him a Mo­ment; for he appeared by the great Hurry he was into have some Business of Importance on his Hands: That he complained of being hurried, and driven and torn out of his Life, and repeated many Times, that if he could divide himself into four Quarters, he knew how to dispose of every one.

Allworthy then desired Blifil to take Care of the Funeral. He said, he would have his Sister deposited in his own Chapel; and as to the Particulars, he left them to his own Discretion, only mentioning the Person whom he would have employed on this Oc­casion.

CHAP. IX.

Which, among other Things, may serve as a Comment on that Saying of Aeschines, that DRUNKENNESS SHEWS THE MIND OF A MAN, AS A MIRROUR REFLECTS HIS PERSON.

THE Reader may, perhaps, wonder at hearing nothing of Mr. Jones in the last Chapter. In fact, his Behaviour was so different from that of the Persons there mentioned, that we chose not to con­found his Name with theirs.

When the good Man had ended his Speech, Jones was the last who deserted the Room. Thence he [Page 248] retired to his own Apartment; to give Vent to h [...] Concern; but the Restlessness of his Mind would not suffer him to remain long there; he slipped softly therefore, to Allworthy's Chamber Door, where [...] listened a considerable Time without hearing and Kind of Motion within, unless a violent snoring, which at last his Fears misrepresented as Groans. This alarmed him, that he could not forbear entering th [...] Room; where he found the Good Man in the Be [...] in a sweet composed Sleep, and his Nurse snoring [...] the above-mentioned hearty Manner, at the Bed's Fee [...] He immediately took the only Method of silencin [...] this thorough Bass, whose Music he feared might disturb Mr. Allworthy; and then sitting down by th [...] Nurse, he remained motionless till Blifil and the Do [...] ­ter came in together, and waked the sick Man; order that the Doctor might feel his Pulse, and tha [...] the other might communicate to him that Piece o [...] News, which, had Jones been apprized of it, would have had great Difficulty of finding its Way to Mr [...] Allworthy's Ear at such a Season.

When he first heard Blifil tell his Uncle this Story Jones could hardly contain the Wrath which kindle [...] in him at the other's Indiscretion, especially as th [...] Doctor shook his Head, and declared his Unwilling­ness to have the Matter mentioned to his Patient. But as his Passion did not so far deprive him of all Use of his Understanding, as to hide from him the Consequences which any violent Expressions towards Blifil might have on the Sick, this Apprehension stil­led his Rage, at the present; and he grew afterward so satisfied with finding that his News had, in fact produced no Mischief, that he suffered his Anger to die in his own Bosom, without ever mentioning it to Blifil.

The Physician dined that Day at Mr. Allworthy's and having after Dinner visited his Patient, he returned to the Company, and told them, that he had not [Page 249] the Satisfaction to say, with Assurance; that his Pa­tient was out of all Danger: That he had brought his Fever to a perfect Intermission, and doubted not by throwing in the Bark to prevent its return.

This Account so pleased Jones, and threw him in­to such immoderate Excess of Rapture, that he might be truly said to be drunk with Joy. An Intoxicati­on which greatly forwards the Effects of Wine; and as he was very free too with the Bottle on this Occa­sion, (for he drank many Bumpers to the Doctor's Health, as well as to other Toasts) he became very soon literally drunk.

Jones had naturally violent animal Spirits. These being set on Float, and augmented by the Spirit of Wine, produced most extravagant Effects. He kissed the Doctor, and embraced him with the most passi­onate Endearments; swearing that, next to Mr. All­worthy himself, he loved him of all Men living.' 'Doctor,' added he, 'you deserve a Statue to be erected to you at the public Expence, for having preserved a Man, who is not only the Darling of all good Men who know him, but a Blessing to Society, the Glory of his Country, and an Honour to human Nature. D—n me if I don't love him better than my own Soul.'

'More shame for you,' cries Thwackum. 'Though I think you have reason to love him, for he hath provided very well for you. And, perhaps, it might have been better for some Folks, that he had not lived to see just Reason of revoking his Gift.'

Jones now looking on Thwackum with inconceiva­ble Disdain, answered, 'And doth thy mcan Soul imagine that any such Considerations could weigh with me? No, let the Earth open and swallow her own Dirt (if I had Millions of Acres I would say it) rather than swallow up my dear glorious Friend.'

[Page 250] Quis Desiderio sit Pudor aut modus
Tam chari Capitis? *

The Doctor now interposed, and prevented the Effects of a Wrath which was kindling between Jones and Thwackum; after which the former gave a Loose to Mirth, sang two or three amorous Songs, and fell into every frantic Disorder which unbridled Joy is apt to inspire; but so far was he from any Disposi­tion to quarrel, that he was ten times better humour­ed, if possible, than when he was sober.

To say Truth, nothing is more erroneous than the common Observation, That Men who are ill-na­tured and quarrelsome when they are drunk, are very worthy Persons when they are sober: For Drink, in reality, doth not reverse Nature, or create Passions in Men, which did not exist in them before. It takes away the Guard of Reason, and consequently forces us to produce those Symptoms, which many, when sober, have Art enough to conceal. It heigh­tens and inflames our Passions (generally indeed that Passion which is uppermost in our Mind) so that the angry Temper, the amorous, the generous, the good humoured, the avaricious, and all other Dispositions of Men, are in their Cups heightened and exposed.

And yet as no Nation produces so many drunken Quarrels, especially among the lower People, as England; (for, indeed, with them, to drink and to fight together are almost synonimous Terms;) I would not, methinks, have it thence concluded that the English are the worst-natured People alive. Per­haps the Love of Glory only is at the Bottom of this; so that the fair Conclusion seems to be, that our Countrymen have more of that Love, and more of [Page 251] Bravery, than any other Plebeians. And this the rather, as there is seldom any thing ungenerous, un­fair, or ill-natured, exercised on those Occasions: Nay, it is common for the Combatants to express Good-will for each other, even at the Time of the Conflict; and as their drunken Mirth generally ends in a Battle, so do most of their Battles end in Friend­ship.

But to return to our History. Tho' Jones had shewn no Design of giving Offence, yet Mr. Blifil was highly offended at a Behaviour which was so in­consistent with the sober and prudent Reserve of his own Temper. He bore it too with the greater Impa­tience, as it appeared to him very indecent at this Sea­son; 'when,' as he said, 'the House was a House of Mourning, on the Account of his dear Mother; and if it had pleased Heaven to give them some Prospect of Mr. Allworthy's Recovery, it would become them better to express the Exultations of their Hearts in Thanksgiving than in Drunkenness and Riots; which were properer Methods to encrease the divine Wrath, than to avert it.' Thwackum, who had swallowed more Liquor than Jones, but without any ill Effect on his Brain, seconded the pious Harangue of Blifil; but Square for Reasons which the Reader may probably guess, was totally silent.

Wine had not so totally overpowered Jones, as to prevent his recollecting on Mr. Blifil's Loss, the Mo­ment it was mentioned. As no Person, therefore, was more ready to confess and condemn his own Er­rors, he offered to shake Mr. Blifil by the Hand, and begged his Pardon, saying, 'His excessive Joy for Mr. Allworthy's Recovery had driven every o­ther Thought out of his Mind.'

Blifil scornfully rejected his Hand; and, with much Indignation, answered, 'It was little to be wondered at, if tragical Spectacles made no Impressions on the Blind; but for his Part, he had the Misfortune [Page 252] to know who his Parents were, and consequently must be affected with their Loss.'

Jones, who, notwithstanding his good Humour, had some Mixture of the irascible in his Constitution, leaped hastily from his Chair, and catching hold of Blifil's Collar, cried out, 'D—n you for a Rascal, do you insult me with the Misfortune of my Birth' He accompanied these Words with such rough Acti­ons, that they soon got the better of Mr. Blifil's peace­able Temper; and a Scuffle immediately ensued, which might have produced Mischief, had it not been prevented by the Interposition of Thwackum and the Physician; for the Philosophy of Square rendered him superior to all Emotions, and he very calmly smoaked his Pipe, as was his Custom in all Broils, unless when he apprehended some Danger of having it broke in his Mouth.

The Combatants being now prevented from exe­cuting present Vengeance on each other, betook themselves to the common Resources of disappointed Rage, and vented their Wrath in Threats and Defi­ance. In this kind of Conflict, Fortune, which, in the personal Attack, seemed to incline to Jones, was now altogether as favourable to his Enemy.

A Truce, nevertheless was at length agreed on, by the Mediation of the neutral Parties, and the whole Company again sat down at the Table; where Jones being prevailed on to ask Pardon, and Blifil to give it, Peace was restored and every thing seemed in Statu quo.

But though the Quarrel was, in all Appearance, perfectly reconciled, the good humour which had been interrupted by it, was by no means restored. All Merriment was now at an End, and the subsequent Dis­course consisted only of grave Relations of Matters of Fact, and of as grave Observations upon them. A Spe­cies of Conversation, in which, though there is much of Dignity and Instruction, there is but little Enter­tainment. [Page 253] As we presume, therefore, only to convey this last to the Reader, we shall pass by whatever was said, till the rest of the Company having, by Degrees, dropped off, left Square and the Physician only toge­ther; at which Time the Conversation was a little heightened by some Comments on what had happened between the two young Gentlemen; both of whom the Doctor declared to be no better than Scoundrels; to which Appellation the Philosopher, very sagaci­ously shaking his Head, agreed.

CHAP. X.

Shewing the Truth of many Observations of Ovid, and of other more grave Writers, who have proved, beyond Contradiction, that Wine is often the Fore­runner of Incontinency.

JONES retired from the Company, in which we have seen him engaged, into the Fields, where he intended to cool himself by a Walk in the open Air, before he attended Mr. Allworthy. There, whilst he renewed those Meditations on his dear Sophia, which the dangerous Illness of his Friend and Bene­factor had for some time interrupted, an Accident hap­pened, which with Sorrow, we relate, and with Sor­row, doubtless, will it be read; however, that historic Truth to which we profess so inviolable an Attach­ment, obliges us to communicate it to Posterity.

It was now a pleasant Evening in the latter End of June, when our Heroe was walking in a most delici­ous Grove, where the gentle Breezes fanning the Leaves, together with the sweet Trilling of a murmur­ing Stream, and the melodious Notes of Nightin­gales formed all together the most enchanting Har­mony. In this Scene, so sweetly accommodated to Love, he meditated on his dear Sophia. While his wanton Fancy roved unbounded over all her Beauties, and his lively Imagination painted the charming Maid in various ravishing Forms his warm Heart melted [Page 254] with Tenderness, and at length throwing himself on the ground by the Side of a gentle murmuring Brook, he broke forth into the following Ejaculation.

'O Sophia, would Heaven give thee to my Arms, how blest would be my Condition! Curst be that Fortune which sets a Distance between us. Was I but possessed of thee, one only Suit of Rags thy whole Estate, is there a Man on Earth whom I would envy! How contemptible would the brightest Circassian Beauty, drest in all the Jewels of the Indies, appear to my Eyes! But why do I mention another Woman? could I think my Eyes capable of looking at any other with Tenderness, these Hands should tear them from my Head. No, my Sophia, if cruel Fortune separates us for ever, my Soul shall doat on thee alone. The chastest Con­stancy will I ever preserve to thy Image. Tho' I should never have Possession of thy charming Per­son, still shalt thou alone have Possession of my Thoughts, my Love, my Soul. Oh! my fond Heart is so wrapt in that tender Bosom, that the brightest Beauties would for me have no Charms, nor would a hermit be colder in their Embraces. Sophia, Sophia alone shall be mine. What Raptures are in that Name! I will engrave it on every Tree.'

At these Words he started up, and behold—not his Sophia—no, nor a Circassian Maid richly and ele­gantly attired for the Grand Signior's Seraglio. No; without a Gown, in a Shift that was somewhat of the coarsest, and none of the cleanest, bedewed likewise with some odoriferous Effluvia, the Produce of the Day's Labour, with a Pitch-fork in her Hand, Molly Seagrim approached. Our Hero had his Pen-knife in his Hand, which he had drawn for the before-mentioned Purpose, of carving on the Bark; when the Girl coming near him cry'd out with a Smile, 'You don't intend to kill me, Squire I hope!' 'Why should you think I would kill you?' answered [Page 255] Jones. 'Nay,' replied she, 'after your cruel Usage of me when I saw you last, killing me would, per­haps, be too great Kindness for me to expect.'

Here ensued a Parly, which, as I do not think myself obliged to relate, I shall omit. It is suffi­cient that it lasted a full Quarter of an Hour, at the Conclusion of which they retired into the thickest Part of the Grove.

Some of my Readers may be inclined to think this Event unnatural. However, the Fact is true; and, perhaps, may be sufficiently accounted for, by sug­gesting that Jones probably thought one Woman bet­ter than none, and Molly as probably imagined two Men to be better than one. Besides the before men­tioned Motive assigned to the present Behaviour of Jones, the Reader will be likewise pleased to recollect in his Favour, that he was not at this Time perfect Master of that wonderful Power of Reason, which so well enables grave and wise Men to subdue their unruly Passions, and to decline any of these prohi­bited Amusements. Wine now had totally subdued this Power in Jones. He was, indeed, in a Condi­tion, in which if Reason had interposed, tho' only to advise, she might have received the Answer which one Cleostratus gave many Years ago to a silly Fellow, who asked him if he was not ashamed to be drunk? 'Are not you,' said Cleostratus, 'ashamed to admo­nish a drunken Man?'—To say the Truth, in a Court of Justice, Drunkenness must not be an Excuse, yet in a Court of Conscience it is greatly so; and therefore Aristotle, who commends the Laws of Pit­tacus, by which drunken Men received double Punish­ment for their Crimes, allows there is more of Poli­cy than Justice in that Law. Now, if there are any Transgressions pardonable from Drunkenness, they are certainly such as Mr. Jones was at present guilty of; on which Head I could pour forth a vast Profusion of Learning, if I imagined it would either entertain my [Page 256] Reader, or teach him any Thing more than he knows already. For his Sake, therefore, I shall keep my Learning to myself, and return to my History.

It hath been observed, that Fortune seldom doth▪ Things by Halves. To say Truth, there is no [...] End to her Freaks whenever she is disposed to gratify or displease. No sooner had our Heroe retired with his Dido, but

Speluncam Blifil, Dux et Divinus eandem
Deveniunt.—

the Parson and the young 'Squire, who were taking a serious Walk, arrived at the Stile which leads into the Grove, and the latter caught a View of the Lo­vers, just as they were sinking out of Sight.

Blifil knew Jones very well, tho' he was at above a hundred Yards Distance, and he was as positive to the Sex of his Companion, tho' not to the individual Person. He started; blessed himself, and uttered a very solemn Ejaculation.

Thwackum express'd some Surprize at these sudden Emotions, and asked the Reason of them. To which Blifil answered, 'he was certain he had seen a Fellow and Wench retire together among the Bushes, which he doubted not was with some wicked Purpose.' As to the Name of Jones, he thought proper to conceal it, and why he did so must be left to the Judgment of the sagacious Reader: For we never chuse to assign Motives to the Actions of Men, when there is any possibility of our being mistaken.

The Parson, who was not only strictly chaste in his own Person; but a great Enemy to the opposite Vice in all others, fired at this Information. He de­sired Mr. Blifil to conduct him immediately to the Place, which as he approached, he breathed forth Vengeance mixed with Lamentations; nor did he refrain from casting some oblique Reflections on Mr [...] Allworthy; insinuating that the Wickedness of the [Page 257] Country was principally owing to the Encouragement he had given to Vice, by having exerted such Kind­ness to a Bastard, and by having mitigated that just and wholsome Rigour of the Law, which allots a ve­ry severe Punishment to loose Wenches.

The Way, through which our Hunters were to pass in pursuit of their Game, was so beset with Briars, that it greatly obstructed their Walk, and caused, be­sides, such a rustling that Jones had sufficient Warn­ing of their Arrival, before they could surprize him; nay, indeed, so incapable was Thwackum of conceal­ing his Indignation, and such Vengeance did he mut­ter forth every Step he took, that this alone must have abundantly satisfied Jones, that he was (to use the Language of Sportsmen) found sitting.

CHAP. XI.

In which a Simile in Mr. Pope 's Period of a Mile, introduces as bloody a Battle as can possibly be fought, without the Assistance of Steel or cold Iron.

AS in the Season of RUTTING (an uncouth Phrase, by which the Vulgar denote that gentle Dalliance, which in the * well-wooded Forest of Hampshire, passes between Lovers of the Ferine Kind) if while the lofty chrested Stag meditates the amorous Sport, a Couple of Puppies, or any other Beasts of hostile Note, should wander so near the Temple of Venus Ferina, that the fair Hind should shrink from the Place, touched with that somewhat, either of Fear or Frolic, of Nicety or Skittishness, with which Nature hath bedecked all Females, or hath, at least, instructed them how themselves to put on; lest, thro' the Indelicacy of Males, the Samean Mysteries should be pryed into by unhallowed Eyes: For at the celebration of these Rites, the female Priest­ess [Page 258] cries out with her in Virgil (who was then proba­bly hard at Work on such Celebration)

—Procul, O procul este, profani;
Proclamat Vates, totoque absistite Luco.
—Far hence be Souls profane,
The Sibyl cry'd, and from the Grove abstain.

DRYDEN.

If, I say, while these sacred Rites, which are in common to Genus omne Animantium, are in Agitation between the Stag and his Mistress, any hostile Beasts should venture too near, on the first Hint given by the frighted Hind, fierce and tremendous rushes forth the Stag to the Entrance of the Thicket; there stands he Centinel over his Love, stamps the Ground with his Foot, and with his Horns brandished aloft in Air, proudly provokes the apprehended Foe to Combat.

Thus, and more terrible, when he perceived the Ene­my's Approach, leaped forth our Heroe. Many a Step advanced he forwards, in order to conceal the trem­bling Hind, and, if possible, to secure her Retreat. And now Thwackum having first darted some livid Light­ning from his fiery Eyes, began to thunder forth, 'Fie upon it! Fie upon it! Mr. Jones. Is it possible you should be the Person!' 'You see,' answered Jones, 'it is possible I should be here.' 'And who,' said Thwackum, 'is that wicked Slut with you?' 'If I have any wicked Slut with me,' cries Jones, it is possible I shall not let you know who she is.' 'I command you to tell me immediately,' says Thwackum, 'and I would not have you imagine young Man, that your Age, tho' it hath somewhat abridged the Purpose of Tuition, hath totally taken away the Authority of the Master. The Relation of the Master and Scholar is indelible, as indeed, all other Relations are: For they all derive their Original from Heaven. I would have you think yourself, therefore, as much obliged to obey me [Page 259] now, as when I taught you your first Rudiments.' 'I believe you would,' cries Jones, 'but that will not happen, unless you had the same Birchen Argu­ment to convince me.' 'Then I must tell you plain­ly,' said Thwackum, 'I am resolved to discover the wicked Wretch.' 'And I must tell you plain­ly,' returned Jones, 'I am resolved you shall not.' Thwackum then offered to advance, and Jones laid hold of his Arms; which Mr. Blifil endeavoured to rescue, declaring 'he would not see his old Master insulted.'

Jones now finding himself engaged with two, thought it necessary to rid himself of one of his An­tagonists as soon as possible. He therefore, applied to the weakest first; and letting the Parson go, he directed a Blow at the young Squire's Breast, which luckily taking Place, reduced him to measure his Length on the Ground.

Thwackum was so intent on the Discovery, that the Moment he found himself at Liberty, he stept forward directly into the Fern, without any great Consideration of what might, in the mean Time, be­fal his Friend; but he had advanced a very few Paces into the Thicket, before Jones having defeated Blifil, overtook the Parson, and dragged him backward by the Skirt of his Coat.

This Parson had been a Champion in his Youth, and had won much Honour by his Fist, both at School and at the University. He had now, indeed, for a great Number of Years, declined the practice of that noble Art; yet was his Courage full as strong as his Faith, and his Body no less strong than either. He was moreover, as the Reader may, perhaps, have conceived, somewhat irascible in his Nature. When he looked back, therefore, and saw his Friend stretch­ed out on the Ground, and found himself at the same Time so roughly handled by one who had formerly [Page 260] been only passive in all Conflicts between them, (a Cir­cumstance which highly aggravated the whole) his Pa­tience at length gave Way; he threw himself into a Posture of Offence, and collecting all his Force, at­tacked Jones in the Front, with as much Impetuosity as he had formerly attacked him in the Rear.

Our Heroe received the Enemy's Attack with the most undaunted Intrepidity, and his Bosom resounded with the Blow. This he presently returned with no less Violence, aiming likewise at the Parson's Breast; but he dextrously drove down the Fist of Jones, so that it reached only his Belly, where two Pounds of Beef and as many of Pudding were then deposited, and whence consequently no hollow Sound could proceed. Many lusty Blows, much more pleasant as well as easy to have seen, than to read or describe, were given on both Sides; at last a violent Fall in which Jones had thrown his Knees into Thwackum's Breast, so weak­ened the latter, that Victory had been no longer dubious, had not Blifil, who had now recovered his Strength, again renewed the Fight, and, by engaging with Jones, given the Parson a Moment's Time to shake his Ears, and to regain his Breath.

And now both together attacked our Heroe, whose Blows did not retain that Force with which they had fallen at first; so weakened was he by his Combat with Thwackum: For though the Pedagogue chose rather to play Solos on the human Instrument, and had been lately used to those only, yet he still retain­ed enough of his ancient Knowledge to perform his Part very well in a Duet.

The Victory, according to modern Custom, was like to be decided by Numbers, when on a sudden, a fourth Pair of Fists appeared in the Battle, and imme­diately paid their Compliments to the Parson; the Owner of them, at the same Time, crying out,' Are not you ashamed and be d—nd to you, to fall two of you upon one?

[Page 261] The Battle, which was of the Kind, that for Dis­tinction's Sake is called ROYAL, now raged with the utmost Violence during a few Minutes; till Blifil being a second Time laid sprawling by Jones, Thwach­um condescended to apply for Quarter to his new Antagonist, who was now found to be Mr. Western himself: For in the Heat of the Action none of the Combatants had recognized him.

In Fact, that honest 'Squire, happening in his Af­ternoon's Walk with some Company, to pass through the Field where the bloody Battle was fought, and having concluded from seeing three Men engaged, that two of them must be on a Side, he hastened from his Companions, and with more Gallantry than Po­licy, espoused the Cause of the weaker Party. By which generous Proceeding, he very probably pre­vented Mr. Jones from becoming a Victim to the Wrath of Thwackum, and to the pious Friendship which Blifil bore his old Master: For besides the Disadvantage of such Odds, Jones had not yet suffi­ciently recovered the former Strength of his broken Arm. This Reinforcement, however, soon put an End to the Action, and Jones with his Ally obtained the Victory.

CHAP. XII.

In which is seen a more moving Spectacle, than all the Blood in the Bodies of Thwackum and Blifil and of twenty other such, is capable of producing.

THE rest of Mr. Western's Company were now come up, being just at the Instant when the Action was over. These were the honest Clergy­man, whom we have formerly seen at Mr. Western's Table, Mrs. Western the Aunt of Sophia; and lastly, the lovely Sophia herself.

At this Time, the following was the Aspect of the bloody Field. In one Place, lay on the Ground, [Page 262] all pale and almost breathless, the vanquished Blifil. Near him stood the Conqueror Jones, almost covered with Blood, part of which was naturally his own, and part had been lately the Property of the Reve­rend Mr. Thwackum. In a third Place stood the said Thwackum, like King Porus, sullenly submitting to the Conqueror. The last Figure in the Piece was Western the Great, most gloriously forbearing the vanquished Foe.

Blifil, in whom there was little Sign of Life, was at first the principal Object of the Concern of every one, and particularly of Mrs. Western, who had drawn from her Pocket a Bottle of Hartshorn, and was her­self about to apply it to his Nostrils; when on a sud­den the Attention of the whole Company was di­verted from poor Blifil, whose Spirit, if it had any such Design, might have now taken an Opportunity of stealing off to the other World, without any Ce­remony.

For now a more melancholy as more lovely Ob­ject lay motionless before them. This was no other than the charming Sophia herself, who, from the Sight of Blood, or from Fear of her Father, or from some other Reason, had fallen down in a Swoon, before any one could get to her Assistance.

Mrs. Western first saw her, and screamed. Im­mediately two or three Voices cried out, 'Miss Wes­tern is dead.' Hartshorn, Water; every Remedy was called for, almost at one and the same Instant.

The Reader may remember, that in our Descrip­tion of this Grove, we mentioned a murmuring Brook, which Brook did not come there, as such gentle Streams flow through vulgar Romances, with no other Purpose than to murmur. No; Fortune had decreed to enoble this little Brook with a higher Ho­nour than any of those which wash the Plains of Arca­dia, ever deserved.

[Page 263] Jones was rubbing Blifil's Temples: For he be­gan to fear he had given him a Blow too much, when the Words Miss Western and Death rushed at once on his Ear. He started up, left Blifil to his Fate, and flew to Sophia, whom, while all the rest were running against each other backward and forward look­ing for Water in the dry Paths, he caught up in his Arms, and then ran away with her over the Field to the Rivulet above-mentioned: where, plunging him­self into the Water, he contrived to besprinkle her Face, Head, and Neck very plentifully.

Happy was it for Sophia, that the same Confusion which prevented her other Friends from serving her, prevented them likewise from obstructing Jones. He had carried her half ways before they knew what he was doing, and he had actually restored her to Life be­fore they reached the Water-side: She stretched out her Arms, opened her Eyes and cried, 'Oh, Heavens!' just as her Father, Aunt and the Parson came up.

Jones, who had hitherto held this lovely Burthen in his Arms, now relinquished his Hold; but gave her at the same Instant a tender Caress, which, had her Senses been then perfectly restored, could not have escaped her Observation. As she expressed, there­fore no Displeasure at this Freedom, we suppose she was not sufficiently recovered from her Swoon at the Time.

This tragical Scene was now converted into a sud­den Scene of Joy. In this, our Heroe was most certainly, the principal Character: For he probably felt more extatic Delight in having saved Sophia, than she herself received from being saved; so neither were the Congratulations paid to her, equal to what were conferred on Jones, especially by Mr. Western him­self, who, after having once or twice embraced his Daughter, fell to hugging and kissing Jones. He called him the preserver of Sophia, and declared there was nothing except her, or his Estate, which he [Page 264] would not give him; but upon Recollection, he af­terwards excepted his Fox-hounds, the Chevalier, and Miss Slouch (for so he called his favourite Mare.)

All Fears for Sophia being now removed, Jones became the Object of the 'Squire's Consideration. 'Come, my Lad,' says Western, 'D'off thy Quoat and wash thy Feace: For att in a devilish Pickle, I promise thee. Come, come, wash thyself, and shat go Huome with me; and wel zee to vind thee another Quoat.'

Jones immediately complied; threw off his Coat, went down to the Water, and washed both his Face and Bosom: For the latter was as much exposed, and as bloody as the former: But tho' the Water could clear off the Blood, it could not remove the Black and blue Marks which Thwackum had imprinted on both his Face and Breast, and which, being discerned by Sophia, drew from her a Sigh, and a look full of inexpressible Tenderness.

Jones received this full in his Eyes, and it had in­finitely a stronger Effect on him than all the Con­tusions which he had received before. An Effect, however, widely different; for so soft and balmy was it, that, had all his former Blows been Stabs, it would for some Minutes have prevented his feeling their Smart.

The Company now moved backwards, and soon arrived where Thwackum had got Mr. Blifil again on his Legs. Here we cannot suppress a pious Wish, that all Quarrels were to be decided by those Wea­pons only, with which Nature, knowing what is pro­per for us, hath supplied us; and that cold Iron was to be used in digging no Bowels, but those of the Earth. Then would War, the Pastime of Mo­narchs, be almost inoffensive, and Battles between great Armies might be fought at the particular De­sire of several Ladies of Quality; who together with the Kings themselves, might be actual Spectators of [Page 265] the Conflict. Then might the Field be this Moment well strewed with human Carcasses, and the next, [...]he dead Men, or infinitely the greatest Part of them, [...]ight get up, like Mr. Bayes's Troops, and march if either at the Sound of a Drum or a Fiddle, as could be previously agreed on.

I would avoid, if possible, treating this Matter lu­ [...]crously, lest grave Men and Politicians, whom I now to be offended at a Jest, may cry Pish at it; [...]ot, in reality, might not a Battle be as well decided [...]y the greater Number of broken Heads, bloody [...]oses, and black Eyes, as by the greater Heaps of [...]angled and murdered human Bodies? Might not Towns be contended for in the same Manner? In­deed, this may be too detrimental a Scheme to the French Interest, since they would lose the Advantage [...]ey have over other Nations, in the Superiority of [...]eir Engineers: But when I consider the Gallantry and Generosity of that People, I am persuaded they [...]ould never decline putting themselves upon a Par with their Adversary; or, as the Phrase is, making themselves his Match.

But such Reformations are rather to be wished [...]an hoped for; I shall content myself, therefore, with this short Hint, and return to my Narrative.

Western began now to enquire into the original Rise [...]f this Quarrel. To which neither Blifil nor Jones [...]ave any Answer; but Thwackum said surlily, 'I be­lieve, the Cause is not far off; if you beat the Bushes well you may find her.' 'Find her!' re­ [...]lied Western, 'what have you been fighting for a Wench?' 'Ask the Gentleman in his Wastecoat there,' said Thwackum, 'he best knows.' 'Nay, then,' cries Western, 'it is a Wench certainly—Ah, Tom, Tom; thou art a liquorish Dog—but come, Gentlemen, be all Friends, and go home with me, and make final Peace over a Bottle.' 'I [Page 266] ask your Pardon, Sir,' says Thwackum, 'it is n [...] such slight Matter for a Man of my Character to be thus injuriously treated, and buffetted by a Boy only because I would have done my Duty, in en­deavouring to detect and bring to Justice a wanton Harlot; but, indeed, the principal Fault lies in Mr. Allworthy and yourself: For, if you put the Laws in Execution, as you ought to do, you would soon ri [...] the Country of these Vermin.'

'I would as soon rid the Country of Foxes,' cries Western. 'I think we ought to encourage the re­cruiting those Numbers which we are every Day losing in the War: But where is she?—Prithee, Tom, shew me.' He then began to beat about, in the same Language, and in the same Manner, as if he had been beating for a Hare, and at last cried out, 'Soho! Puss is not far off. Here's her Form, upon my Soul; I believe I may cry stole away.' And indeed so he might, for he had now discovered the Place whence the poor Girl had, at the Beginning of the Fray, stolen away, upon as many Feet as a Hare generally uses in travelling.

Sophia now desired her Father to return home; say­ing, she found herself very faint, and apprehended a Relapse. The Squire immediately complied with his Daughter's Request (for he was the fondest of Pa­rents). He earnestly endeavoured to prevail with the whole Company to go and sup with him; but Blifil and Thwackum absolutely refused; the former saying, There were more Reasons than he could then mention, why he must decline this Honour; and the latter de­claring (perhaps rightly) that it was not proper for a Person of his Function to be seen at any Place in his present Condition.

Jones was incapable of refusing the Pleasure of be­ing with his Sophia. So on he marched with Squire Western and his Ladies, the Parson bringing up the Rear. This had, indeed, offered to tarry with his [Page 267] Brother Thwackum, professing, his Regard for the Cloth would not permit him to depart; but Thwackum would not accept the Favour, and, with no great Civility, pushed him after Mr. Western.

Thus ended this bloody Fray; and thus shall end the fifth Book of this History.

THE HISTORY OF A FOUNDLING
BOOK VI.

Containing about three Weeks.

CHAP. I.

Of Love.

IN our last Book we have been obliged to deal pret­ty much with the Passion of Love; and, in our succeeding Book, shall be forced to handle this Sub­ject still more largely. It may not therefore, in this Place, be improper to apply ourselves to the Exami­nation of that modern Doctrine, by which certain Philosophers, among many other wonderful Disco­veries, pretend to have found out, that there is no such Passion in the human Breast.

Whether these Philosophers be the same with that surprizing Sect, who are honourably mentioned by the late Dr. Swift; as having, by the mere Force of Ge­nius alone, without the least Assistance of any Kind of Learning, or even Reading, discovered that pro­found and invaluable Secret, That there was no G—: [Page 269] or whether they are not rather she same with those who, some Years since, very much alarmed the World, by shewing that there were no such things as virtue or Goodness really existing in Human Nature, and who deduced our best Actions from Pride, I will not here presume to determine. In reality, I am in­clined to suspect, that all these several Finders of Truth are the very identical Men, who are by others called the Finders of Gold. The Method used in both these Searches after Truth and after Gold, being, in­deed, one and the same, viz. the searching, rum­maging, and examining into a nasty Place; indeed, in the former Instances, into the nastiest of all Places, ABAD MIND.

But though, in this Particular, and perhaps in their Success, the Truth-finder, and the Gold-finder, may very properly be compared together; yet in Modesty, surely, there can be no Comparison between the two; for who ever heard of a Gold-finder that had the Im­pudence or Folly to assert, from the ill Success of his Search, that there was no such thing as Gold in the World? Whereas the Truth-finder, having raked out that Jakes his own Mind, and being there capa­ble of tracing no Ray of Divinity, nor any thing virtuous, or good, or lovely, or loving, very fairly, honestly, and logically concludes, that no such things exist in the whole Creation.

To avoid, however, all Contention, if possible, with these Philosophers, if they will be called so; and to shew our own Disposition to accommodate Matters peaceably between us, we shall here make them some Concessions, which may possibly put an End to the Dispute.

First, we will grant that many Minds, and perhaps those of the Philosophers, are entirely free from the least Traces of such a Passion.

Secondly, That what is commonly called Love, namely, the Desire of satisfying a voracious Appetite [Page 270] with a certain Quantity of delicate white human Flesh, is by no Means that Passion for which I here contend. This is indeed more properly Hunger [...] and as no Glutton is ashamed to apply the Word Love to his Appetite, and to say he LOVES such and such Dishes; so may the Lover of this Kind with equal Propriety say, he HUNGERS after such and such Women.

Thirdly, I will grant, which I believe will be a most acceptable Concession, that this Love for which I am an Advocate, though it satisfies itself in a much more delicate Manner, doth nevertheless seek its own Satisfaction as much as the grossest of all our Appe­tites.

And, Lastly, That this Love when it operates towards one of a different Sex, is very apt, towards its complete Gratification, to call in the Aid of that Hunger which I have mentioned above; and which it is so far from abating, that it heightens all its De­lights to a Degree scarce imaginable by those who have never been susceptible of any other Emotions, than what have proceeded from Appetite alone.

In return to all these Concessions, I desire of the Philosophers to grant, that there is in some (I believe in many) human Breasts, a kind and benevolent Dis­position, which is gratified by contributing to the Hap­piness of others. That in this Gratification alone, as in Friendship, in parental and filial Affection, and indeed in general Philanthropy, there is a great and exquisite Delight. That if we will not call such Disposition Love, we have no Name for it. That though the Pleasures arising from such pure Love may be hightened and sweetened by the Assistance of a­morous Desires, yet the former can subsist alone, nor are they destroyed by the Intervention of the latter. Lastly, That Esteem and Gratitude are the proper Motives to Love, as Youth and Beauty are to Desire, and therefore though such Desire may naturally cease, [Page 271] when Age or Sickness overtake its Object, yet these [...]an have no Effect on Love, nor ever shake or remove from a good Mind, that Sensation or Passion which [...]ath Gratitude and Esteem for its Basis.

To deny the Existence of a Passion of which we often see manifest Iustances, seems to be very strange and absurd; and can indeed proceed only from that self-Admonition which we have mentioned above: But how unfair is this? Doth the Man who recog­ [...]izes in his own Heart no Traces of Avarice or Am­bition, conclude therefore, that there are no such Pas­sions in Human Nature? Why will we not modestly observe the same Rule in judging of the Good, as well as the Evil of others; Or why, in any Case, will [...]e, as Shakespear phrases it, 'put the World in our own Person?'

Predominant Vanity is, I am afraid, too much con­cerned here. This is one Instance of that Adulation which we bestow on our own Minds, and this almost universally. For there is scarce any Man, how much soever he may despise the Character of a Flatterer, but will condescend in the meanest Manner to flatter himself.

To those, therefore, I apply for the Truth of the above Observations, whose own Minds can bear Tes­timony to what I have advanced.

Examine your Heart, my good Reader, and resolve whether you do believe these Matters with me. If you do, you may now proceed to their Exemplifica­tion in the following Pages; if you do not, you have, I assure you, already read more than you have under­stood; and it would be wiser to pursue your Business, or your Pleasures (such as they are) than to throw away any more of your Time in reading what you can neither taste nor comprehend. To treat of the Effects of Love to you, must be as absurd as to discourse on Colours to a Man born blind; since possibly your Idea of Love may be as absurd as that which we are told such blind Man once entertained of the Colour [Page 272] Red: that Colour seemed to him to be very much like the Sound of a Trumpet; and Love probably may in your Opinion, very greatly resemble a Dish o [...] Soup, or a Sir-loin of Roast-Beef.

CHAP. II.

The Character of Mrs. Western. Her great Learn­ing and Knowledge of the World, and an Instand of the deep Penetration which she derived from those Advantages.

THE Reader hath seen Mr. Western, his Sister and Daughter, with young Jones, and the Par­son, going together to Mr. Western's House, where the greater Part of the Company spent the Evening with much Joy and Festivity. Sophia was indeed the only grave Person: For as to Jones, though Love had now gotten entire Possession of his Heart, yet the plea­sing Reflection on Mr. Allworthy's Recovery, and the Presence of his Mistress, joined to some tender Looks which she now and then could not refrain from giving him, so elevated our Heroe, that he joined the Mirth of the other three, who were perhaps as good humoured People as any in the World.

Sophia retained the same Gravity of Countenance the next Morning at Breakfast; whence she retired likewise earlier than usual, leaving her Father and Aunt together. The Squire took no Notice of this Change in his Daughter's Disposition. To say the Truth, though he was somewhat of a Politician, and had been twice a Candidate in the Country Interest at an Elec­tion, he was a Man of no great Observation. His Sister was a Lady of a different Turn. She had liv­ed about the Court, and had seen the World. Hence she had acquired all that Knowledge which the said World usually communicates; and was a perfect Mis­tress of Manners, Customs, Ceremonies, and Fashions; nor did her Erudition stop here. She had considera­bly [Page 273] improved her Mind by Study; she had not only [...]ead all the modern Plays, Operas, Oratorios, Poems and Romances; in all which she was a Critic; but [...]ad gone thro' Rapin's History of England, Echard's Roman History, and many French Memoires pour ser­ [...]ir a l' Histoire; to these she had added most of the political Pamphlets and Journals, published within the last twenty Years. From which she had attained every competent Skill in Politics, and could discourse very learnedly on the Affairs of Europe. She was moreover excellently well skilled in the Doctrine of Amour, and knew better than any body who and who were together: A Knowledge which she the more easily attained, as her Pursuit of it was never divert­ed by any Affairs of her own; for either she had no Inclinations, or these had never been sollicited; which last is indeed very probable: For her masculine Person, which was near six Foot high, added to her Manner and Learning, possibly prevented the other Sex from regarding her, notwithstanding her Petticoats, in the Light of a Woman. However, as she had consider­ed the Matter scientifically, she perfectly well knew, though she had never practised them, all the Arts which fine Ladies use when they desire to give Encourage­ment, or to conceal Liking, with all the long Ap­pendage of Smiles, Ogles, Glances, &c. as they are at present practised in the Beau-monde. To sum the whole, no Species of Disguise or Affectation had es­caped her Notice; but as to the plain simple Work­ings of honest Nature, as she had never seen any such, she could know but little of them.

By means of this wonderful Sagacity, Mrs. Wes­tern had now, as she thought, made a Discovery of something in the Mind of Sophia. The first Hint of this she took from the Behaviour of the young Lady in the field of Battle; and the Suspicion which she then conceived, was greatly corroborated by some Observations which she had made that Evening, and [Page 274] the next Morning. However, being greatly cautious to avoid being found in a Mistake, she carried the Se­cret a whole Fortnight in her Bosom, giving only some oblique Hints, by Simperings, Winks, Nods and now and then dropping an obscure Word, which indeed sufficiently alarmed Sophia, but did not at all affect her Brother.

Being at length, however, thoroughly satisfied of the Truth of her Observation, she took an Opportu­nity, one Morning, when she was alone with her Brother, to interrupt one of his Whistles in the fol­lowing Manner.

'Pray, Brother, have you not observed something very extraordinary in my Niece lately?' 'No, not I,' answered Western; 'Is any thing the Matter with the Girl? I think there is,' replies she, 'and some­thing of much Consequence too.' 'Why she doth not complain of any Thing', cries Western, 'and she hath had the Small Pox.' 'Brother,' returned she, 'Girls are liable to other Distempers besides the Small Pox, and sometimes possibly to much worse.' Here Western interrupted her with much Earnestness, and begged her, if any thing ailed his Daughter, to ac­quaint him immediately, adding, 'she knew he lov­ed her more than his own Soul, and that he would send to the World's End for the best Physician to her.' 'Nay, nay, answered she, smiling, 'the Distemper is not so terrible; but I believe, Brother, you are convinced I know the World, and I pro­mise you I was never more deceived in my Life, if my Niece be not most desperately in Love.' 'How! in Love,' cries Western, in a Passion, 'in Love without acquainting me! I'll disinherit her, I'll turn her out of Doors, stark naked, without a Farthing. Is all my Kindness vor'ur, and vondness o'ur come to this, to fall in Love without asking me Leave!' 'But you will not,' answered Mrs. Western, 'turn this Daughter, whom you love better than your own [Page 275] Soul, out of Doors, before you know whether you shall approve her Choice. Suppose she should have fixed on the very Person whom you yourself would wish, I'hope you would not be angry then.' 'No, no,' cries Western, 'that would make a Differ­rence. If she marries the Man I would ha' her, she may love whom she pleases, I shan't trouble my Head about that.' 'That is spoken,' answered the Sister, 'like a sensible Man, but I believe the very Person, she hath chosen, would be the very Person you would chuse for her. I will dis­claim all Knowledge of the World if it is not so; and I believe, Brother, you will allow I have some.' 'Why lookee, Sister,' said Western, 'I do believe you have as much as any Woman; and to be sure those are Women's Matters. You know I don't love to hear you talk about Politics, they be­long to us, and Petticoats should not meddle: But come, Who is the Man?' 'Marry!' said she, 'you may find him out yourself, if you please. You who are so great a Politician can be at no great Loss. The Judgment which can penetrate into the Cabinets of Princes, and discover the secret Springs which move the great State Wheels in all the political Machines of Europe, must surely, with very little Difficulty find out what passes in the rude uninformed Mind of a Girl.' 'Sister,' cries the Squire, 'I have often warned you not to talk the Court Gibberish to me. I tell you, I don't understand the Lingo; but I can read a Journal, or the Lon­don Evening Post. Perhaps indeed, there may be now and tan a Verse which I can't make much of, because half the Letters are left out; yet I know very well what is meant by that, and that our Af­fairs don't go so well as they should do, because of Bribery and Corruption. I pity your Country Ig­norance from my Heart,' cries the Lady, 'Do you?' answered Western, 'and I pity your Town [Page 276] Learning, I had rather be any Thing than a Cour­tier, and a Presbytcrian, and a Hanoverian too, as some People, I believe, are.' 'If you mean me,' answered she, 'you know I am a Woman, Brother; and it signifies nothing what I am. Besides—I do know you are a Woman,' cries the Squire, and its well for thee, that at one; if hadst been a Man, I promise thee I had lent thee a Flick long a­go.' 'Ay there,' said she, 'in that Flick lies all your fancied Superiority. Your Bodies, and not your Brains, are stronger than ours. Believe me, it is well for you that you are able to beat us, or such is the Superiority of our Understanding, we should make all of you what the brave, and wise, and witty, and polite are already,—our Slaves.' I am glad I know your Mind,' answered the Squire, but we'll talk more of this Matter another Time. At present, do tell me what Man it is you mean about my Daughter.' 'Hold a Moment,' said she, while I digest that sovereign Contempt I have for your Sex; or else I ought to be too angry with you. There—I have made a Shift to gulp it down. And now, good politic Sir, what think you of Mr. Blifil? Did she not faint away on seeing him lie breathless on the Ground? Did she not, after he was recovered, turn pale again the Moment we came up to that Part of the Field where he stood? And pray what else should be the Occasion of all her Melancholy that Night at Supper, the next Morning, and indeed ever since?' "Fore George!' cries the Squire, 'now you mind me on't, I remem­ber it all. It is certainly so, and I am glad on't with all my Heart. I knew Sophy was a good Girl, and would not fall in Love to make me angry. I was never more rejoiced in my Life: For nothing can lie so handy together as our two Estates. I had this Matter in my Head some Time ago; for certainly the two Estates are in a Manner joined [Page 277] together in Matrimony already, and it would be a thousand Pities to part them. It is true indeed, there be larger Estates in the Kingdom, but not in this County, and I had rather bate something, than marry my Daughter among Stangers and Foreign­ers. Besides most o' zuch great Estates be in the Hands of Lords, and I hate the very Name of them­mun. Well but, Sister, what would you advise me to do: For I tell you Women know these Matters better than we do?' 'O, your humble Servant, Sir,' answered the Lady, 'we are obliged to you for al­lowing us a Capacity in any Thing. Since you are pleased then, most politic Sir, to ask my Advice, I think you may propose the Match to Allworthy yourself. There is no Indecorum in the Propo­sal's coming from the Parent of either Side. King Alcinous, in Mr. Pope's Odyssey, offers his Daugh­ter to Ulysses. I need not caution so Politic a Per­son not to say that your Daughter is in Love; that would indeed be against all Rules.' 'Well,' said the Squire,' 'I will propose it; but I shall certainly lend un a Flick, if he refuse me.' Fear not,' cries Mrs. Western, 'the Match is too advantageous to be refused.' 'I don't know that,' answered the Squire, 'Allworthy is a queer B—ch, and Money hath no Effect o' un.' 'Brother,' said the Lady, your Politics astonish me. Are you really to be imposed on by Professions? Do you think Mr. All­worthy hath more Contempt for Money than other Men, because he professes more. Such Credulity would better become one of us weak Women, than that wise Sex which Heaven hath formed for Po­liticians. Indeed, Brother, you would make a fine Plenipo to negotiate with the French. They would soon persuade you, that they take Towns out of mere defensive Principles.' 'Sister,' answered the Squire, with much Scorn, Let your Friends at Court answer for the Towns taken; as you are a [Page 278] Woman, I shall lay no Blame upon you: For I suppose they are wiser than to trust Women with Se­crets.' He accompanied this with so sarcastical a Laugh, that Mrs. Western could bear no longer. She had been all this Time fretted in a tender Part (for she was indeed very deeply skilled in these Mat­ters, and very violent in them) and therefore burst forth in a Rage, declared her Brother to be both a Clown and a Blockhead, and that she would stay no longer in his House.

The Squire, tho' perhaps, he had never read Ma­chiavel, was, however, in many Points, a perfect Politician. He strongly held all those wise Tenets, which are so well inculcated in that Politico-Peripa­tetic School of Exchange-Alley. He knew the just Value and only Use of Meney, viz. to lay it up. He was likewise well skilled in the exact Value of Rever­sions, Expectations, &c. and had often considered the Amount of his Sister's Fortune, and the Chance which he or his Posterity had of inheriting it. This he was infinitely too wise to sacrifice to a trifling Resentment. When he found, therefore, he had carried Matters too far, he began to think of reconciling them; which was no very difficult Task, as the Lady had great Affection for her Brother, and still greater for her Niece; and tho' too susceptible of an Affront offered to her Skill in Politics, on which she much valued herself, was a Woman of a very extraordinary good and sweet Disposition.

Having first, therefore, laid violent Hands on the Horses, for whose Escape from the Stable no Place but the Window was left open; he next applied himself to his Sister, softened and soothed her, by unsaying all he had said, and by Assertions directly contrary to those which had incensed her. Lastly, he sum­moned the Eloquence of Sophia to his Assistance, who, besides a most graceful and winning Address, had the Advantage of being heard with great Favour and Partiality by her Aunt.

[Page 279] The Result of the whole was a kind Smile from Mrs. Western, who said, 'Brother, you are abso­lutely a perfect Croat: but as those have their Use in the Army of the Empress Queen, so you like­wise have some good in you. I will therefore once more sign a Treaty of Peace with you, and see that you do not infringe it on your Side; at least, as you are so excellent a Politician, I may expect you will keep your Leagues like the French, till your Interest calls upon you to break them.'

CHAP. III.

Containing two Defiances to the Critics.

THE Squire having settled Matters with his Sis­ter, as we have seen in the last Chapter, was so greatly impatient to communicate the Proposal to Allworthy, that Mrs. Western had the utmost Dif­ficulty to prevent him from visiting that Gentleman in his Sickness, for this Purpose.

Mr. Allworthy had been engaged to dine with Mr. Western at the Time when he was taken ill. He was, therefore, no sooner discharged out of the Custody of Physic, but he thought (as was usual with him on all Occasions, both the highest and the lowest) of ful­filling his Engagement.

In the Interval between the Time of the Dialogue in the last Chapter, and this Day of public Entertain­ment, Sophia had, from certain obscure Hints thrown out by her Aunt, collected some Apprehensions that the sagacious Lady suspected her Passion for Jones. She now resolved to take this Opportunity of wiping out all such Suspicion, and for that Purpose to put an entire Constraint on her Behaviour.

First, she endeavoured to conceal a throbbing me­lancholy Heart with the utmost Sprightliness in her Countenance, and the highest Gayety in her Man­ner. [Page 280] Secondly, she addressed her whole Discourse to Mr. Blifil, and took not the least Notice of poor Jones the whole Day.

The Squire was so delighted with the Conduct of his Daughter, that he scarce eat any Dinner, and spent almost his whole Time in watching Opportuni­ties of conveying Signs of his Approbation by Winks and Nods to his Sister; who was not at first altoge­ther so pleased with what she saw as was her Bro­ther.

In short Sophia so greatly overacted her Part, that her Aunt was at first staggered, and began to suspect some Affectation in her Niece; but as she was her­self a Woman of Great Art, so she soon attributed this to extreme Art in Sophia. She remembered the many Hints she had given her Neice concerning her being in Love, and imagined the young Lady had taken this Way to rally her out of her Opinion, by an overacted Civility; a Notion that was corrobo­rated by the excessive Gaiety with which the whole was accompanied. We cannot here avoid remark­ing that this Conjecture would have been better found­ed, had Sophia lived ten Years in the Air of Grosve­nor square, where young Ladies do learn a wonder­ful Knack of rallying and playing with that Passion, which is a mighty serious Thing in the Woods and Groves a hundred Miles Distant from London.

To say the Truth, in discovering the Deceit of others, it matters much that our own Art be wound up, if I may use the Expression, in the same Key with theirs: For very artful Men sometimes miscar­ry by fancying others wiser, or in other Words, great­er Knaves than they really are. As this Observation is pretty deep, I will illustrate it by the following short Story. Three Countrymen were pursuing a Wiltshire Thief through Brentford. The simplest of them seeing the Wiltshire House written under a Sign, advised his Companions to enter it, for there [Page 281] most probably they would find their Countryman. The second, who was wiser, laughed at this Sim­plicity; but the third, who was wiser still, answered, 'Let us go in, however, for he may think we should not suspect him of going amongst his own Coun­trymen.' They accordingly went in and search­ed the House, and by that Means missed overtaking the Thief, who was, at that Time, but a little ways before them; and who, as they all knew, but had never once reflected, could not read.

The Reader will pardon a Digression in which so invaluable a Secret is communicated, since every Gamester will agree how necessary it is to know ex­actly the Play of another, in order to countermine him. This will, moreover, afford a Reason why the wiser Man, as is often seen, is the Bubble of the weaker, and why many simple and innocent Charac­ters are so generally misunderstood and misrepresent­ed; but what is most material, this will account for the Deceit which Sophia put on her politic Aunt.

Dinner being ended, and the Company retired into the Garden, Mr. Western, who was thoroughly con­vinced of the certainty of what his Sister had told him, took Mr. Allworthy aside, and very bluntly proposed a Match between Sophia and young Mr. Blifil.

Mr. Allworthy was not one of those Men, whose Hearts flutter at any unexpected and sudden Tidings of worldly profit. His Mind was, indeed, tempered with that Philosophy which becomes a Man and a Christian. He affected no absolute Superiority to all Pleasure and Pain, to all Joy and Grief; but was not at the same time to be discomposed and ruffled by every accidental Blast; by every Smile or Frown of Fortune. He received therefore, Mr. Western's Pro­posal without any visible Emotion, or without any Alteration of Countenance. He said, the Alliance was such as he sincerely wished; then launched forth [Page 282] into a very just Encomium on the young Lady's Me­rit; acknowledged the Offer to be advantageous in Point of Fortune; and after thanking Mr. Western for the good Opinion he had profess'd of his Nephew, concluded, that if the young People liked each other, he should be very desirous to complete the Affair.

Western was a little disappointed at Mr. Allworthy's Answer; which was not so warm as he expected. He treated the Doubt whether the young People might like one another with great Contempt; saying, 'That Parents were the best Judges of proper Matches for their Children; that, for his Part, he should insist on the most resigned Obedience from his Daughter; and if any young Fellow could re­fuse such a Bedfellow, he was his humble Servant, and hoped there was no Harm done.'

Allworthy endeavoured to soften this Resentment by many Elogium's on Sophia; declaring, he had no doubt but that Mr. Blifil would very gladly receive the Offer; but all was ineffectual, he could obtain no other Answer from the Squire but—'I say no more—I humbly Hope there's no Harm done—that's all.' Which Words he repeated, at least, a hundred Times before they parted.

Allworthy was too well acquainted with his Neigh­bour to be offended at this Behaviour; and tho' he was so averse to the Rigour which some Parents ex­ercise on their Children in the Article of Marriage, that he had resolved never to force his Nephew's In­clinations, he was nevertheless much pleased with the prospect of this Union: For the whole Country re­sounded the praises of Sophia, and he had himself great­ly admired the uncommon Endowments of both her Mind and Person. To which, I believe we may add, the Consideration of her vast Fortune, which, tho' he was too sober to be intoxicated with, he was too sensible to despise.

[Page 283] And here, in Defiance of all the barking Critics in the World, I must and will introduce a Digression concerning true Wisdom, of which Mr. Allworthy was in Reality as great a Pattern as he was of Good­ness.

True Wisdom then, notwithstanding all which Mr. Hogarth's poor Poet may have writ against Riches, and in Spite of all which any rich, well-fed Divine may have preached against Pleasure, consists not in the con­tempt of either of these. A Man may have as much Wisdom in the Possession of an affluent Fortune, as any Beggar in the Streets; or may enjoy a handsome Wife or a hearty Friend, and still remain as wise as any sour Popish Recluse, who buries all his social Facul­ties, and starves his Belly while he well lashes his Back.

To say Truth, the wisest Man is the likeliest to possess all worldly Blessings in an eminent Degree: For as that Moderation which Wisdom prescribes is the surest Way to useful Wealth; so can it alone qualify us to taste many Pleasures. The wise Man gratifies every Appetite and every Passion, while the Fool sacrifices all the rest to pall and satiate one.

It may be objected, that very wise Men have been notoriously avaricious. I answer, not in that In­stance. It may likewise be said, that the wisest Men have been in their Youth, immoderately fond of Pleasure. I answer they were not wise then.

Wisdom in short, whose Lessons have been re­presented as so hard to learn by those who never were at her School, teaches us only to extend a simple Maxim universally known and followed even in the lowest Life, a little farther than that Life carries it. And this is not to buy at too dear a Price.

Now, whoever takes this Maxim abroad with him into the grand Market of the World, and con­stantly applies it to Honours, to Riches, to pleasures, and to every other Commodity which that Market affords, is, I will venture to affirm, a wise Man; and [Page 284] must be so acknowledged in the worldly Sense of the Word: For he makes the best of Bargains, since in Reality he purchases every Thing at the Price only of a little Trouble, and carries home all the good Things I have mentioned, while he keeps his Health, his Inno­cence, and his Reputation, the common Prices which are paid for them by others, entire and to himself.

From this Moderation, likewise, he learns two other Lessons, which complete his Character. First, ne­ver to be intoxicated when he hath made the best Bargain, nor dejected when the Market is empty, or when its Commodities are too dear for his Pur­chase.

But I must remember on what Subject I am writ­ing, and not trespass too far on the Patience of a good-natured Critic. Here therefore I put an End to the Chapter.

CHAP. IV.

Containing sundry curious Matters.

AS soon as Mr. Allworthy returned home, he took Mr. Blifil apart, and after some Preface, communicated to him the Proposal which had been made by Mr. Western, and, at the same Time, in­formed him how agreeable this Match would be to himself.

The Charms of Sophia had not made the least Im­pression on Blifil; not that his Heart was pre-enga­ged; neither was he totally insensible of Beauty, or had any Aversion to Women; but his Appetites were, by Nature, so moderate, that he was easily able by Philosophy, or by Study, or by some other Method, to subdue them; and as to that Passion which we have treated of in the first Chapter of this Book, he had not the least Tincture of it in his whole Com­position.

[Page 285] But tho' he was so entirely free from that mixed Passion, of which we there treated, and of which the Virtues and Beauty of Sophia formed so notable an Object; yet was he altogether as well furnished with some other Passions, that promised themselves very full gratification in the young Lady's Fortune. Such were Avarice and Ambition, which divided the Do­minion of his Mind between them. He had more than once considered the Possession of this Fortune as a very desirable Thing, and had entertained some distant Views concerning it: But his own Youth and that of the young Lady, and indeed principally a Re­flection that Mr. Western might marry again, and have more Children, had restrained him from too hasty or eager a Pursuit.

This last and most material Objection was now in great Measure removed, as the Proposal came from Mr. Western himself. Blifil therefore after a very short Hesitation, answered Mr. Allworthy, that Ma­trimony was a Subject on which he had not yet thought: But that he was so sensible of his friendly and fatherly Care, that he should in all Things submit himself to his Pleasure.

Allworthy was naturally a Man of Spirit, and his present Gravity arose from true Wisdom and Philo­sophy, not from any original Phlegm in his Disposi­tion: For he had possessed much Fire in his Youth, and had married a beautiful Woman for Love. He was not, therefore, greatly pleased with this cold An­swer of his Nephew; nor could he help launching forth into the Praises of Sophia, and expressing some Wonder that the Heart of a young Man could be im­pregnable to the force of such Charms, unless it was guarded by some prior Affection.

Blifil assured him he had no such Guard; and then proceeded to discourse so wisely and religiously on Love and Marriage, that he would have stopt the Mouth of a Parent much less devoutly inclined than [Page 286] was his Uncle. In the End, the good Man was sa­tisfied, that his Nephew, far from having any Ob­jections to Sophia, had that Esteem for her, which in sober and virtuous Minds is the sure Foundation of Friendship and Love. And as he doubted not but the Lover would, in a little Time, become altogether as agreeable to his Mistress, he foresaw great Happiness arising to all Parties by so proper and desirable a Uni­on. With Mr. Blifil's Consent, therefore, he wrote the next Morning to Mr. Western, acquainting him that his Nephew had very thankfully and gladly received the Proposal, and would be ready to wait on the young Lady, whenever she should be pleased to ac­cept his Visit.

Western was much pleased with this Letter, and im­mediately returned an Answer; in which, without having mentioned a Word to his Daughter, he ap­pointed that very Afternoon for opening the Scene of Courtship.

As soon as he had dispatched this Messenger, he went in Quest of his Sister, whom he found reading and expounding the Gazette to Parson Supple. To this Exposition he was obliged to attend near a Quarter of an Hour, tho' with great Violence to his natural Impetuosity, before he was suffered to speak. At length, however, he found an Opportunity of ac­quainting the Lady, that he had Business of great Consequence to impart to her; to which she answered, 'Brother, I am entirely at your Service. Things look so well in the North that I was never in a better Humour.'

The Parson then withdrawing, Western acquaint­ed her with all which had passed, and desired her to communicate the Affair to Sophia, which she readily and chearfully undertook; tho' perhaps her Brother was a little obliged to that agreeable Northern Aspect which had so delighted her, that he heard no Comment [Page 287] on his Proceedings: for they were certainly some­what too hasty and violent.

CHAP. V.

In which is related what passed between Sophia and her Aunt.

SOPHIA was in her Chamber reading when her Aunt came in. The Moment she saw Mrs. Western, she shut the Book with so much Eagerness, that the good Lady could not forbear asking her, What Book that was which she seemed so much afraid of shewing. 'Upon my Word, Madam,' answered Sophia, 'it is a Book which I am neither ashamed nor afraid to own I have read. It is the Production of a young Lady of Fashion, whose good Under­standing, I think, doth Honour to her Sex, and whose good Heart is an Honour to Human Nature.' Mrs Western then took up the Book, and immediate­ly after threw it down, saying—'Yes, the Author is of a very good Family; but she is not much a­mong People one knows. I have never read it; for the best Judges say, there is not much in it.'' I dare not, Madam, set up my own Opinion, says Sophia, 'against the best Judges; but there ap­pears to me a great deal of human Nature it; and in many Parts, so much true Tenderness and Deli­cacy, that it hath cost me many a Tear.' 'Ay, and do you love to cry then?' says the Aunt. 'I love a tender Sensation,' answered the Niece, and would pay the Price of a Tear for it at any Time.' Well, but shew me,' said the Aunt, 'what you was reading when I came in; there was some­thing very tender in that, I believe, and very loving too.' You blush, my dear Sophia. Ah! Child, you should read Books, which would teach you a little Hypocrisy, which would instruct you how to hide your Thoughts a little better.' 'I hope, Madam,' answered Sophia, 'I have no Thoughts which I ought [Page 288] to be ashamed of discovering.' 'Ashamed! no,' cries the Aunt, 'I don't think you have any Thoughts which you ought to be ashamed of, and yet, Child, you blushed just now when I mentioned the Word Loving. Dear Sophy, be assured you have not one Thought which I am not well acquainted with; as well, Child, as the French are with our Motions, long before we put them in Execution. Did you think, Child, because you have been able to impose upon your Father, that you could impose upon me? Do you imagine I did not know the Reason of your over-acting all that Friendship for Mr. Blifil yes­terday? I have seen a little too much of the World, to be so deceived. Nay, nay, do not blush again. I tell you it is a Passion you need not be ashamed of.—It is a Passion I myself approve, and have al­ready brought your Father into the Approbation of. Indeed, I solely consider your Inclination; for I would always have that gratified, if possible, though one may sacrifice higher Prospects. Come, I have News which will delight your very Soul. Make me your Confident, and I will undertake you shall be happy to the very Extent of your Wishes.' 'La, Madam,' says Sophia, looking more foolishly than ever she did in her Life, 'I know not what to say—Why, Madam, should you suspect?'—'Nay, no Dishonesty,' returned Mr. Western. 'Consi­der, you are speaking to one of your own Sex, to an Aunt, and I hope you are convinced you speak to a Friend. Consider, you are only revealing to me what I know already, and what I plainly saw yesterday, through that most artful of all Disguises, which you had put on, and which must have de­ceived any one who had not perfectly known the World. Lastly consider it is a Passion which I highly approve.' 'La, Madam,' says Sophia, 'you come upon one so unawares, and on a sudden. To be sure, Madam, I am not blind—and cer­tainly [Page 289] if it be a Fault to see all human Perfections assembled together—But is it possible my Father and you, Madam, can see with my Eyes? I tell you,' answered the Aunt, 'we do entirely approve; and this very afternoon your Father hath appointed for you to receive your Lover.' 'My Father, this Afternoon!' cries Sophia, with the Blood starting from her Face.—'Yes, Child,' said the Aunt, 'this Afternoon. You know the Impetuosity of my Brother's Temper. I acquainted him with the Pas­sion which I first discovered in you that Evening when you fainted away in the Field. I saw it in your Fainting. I saw it immediately upon your Recovery. I saw it that Evening at Supper, and the next Morning at Breakfast: (you know, Child, I have seen the World). Well, I no sooner ac­quainted my Brother; but he immediately wanted to propose it to Allworthy. He proposed it Yesterday, Allworthy consented, (as to be sure he must with Joy) and this Afternoon, I tell you, you are to put on all your best Airs.' This Afternoon!' cries Sophia. 'Dear Aunt, you frighten me out of my Senses.' 'O, my Dear,' said the Aunt, 'you will soon come to yourself again; for he is a charming young Fellow, that's the Truth on't.' 'Nay, I will own,' says Sophia, I know none with such Per­fections. So brave, and yet so gentle; so witty, yet so inoffensive, so humane, so civil, so genteel, so handsome! What signifies his being base born, when compared with such Qualifications as these?' Base born! what do you mean,' said the Aunt, Mr. Blifil base born!' Sophia turned instantly pale [...]t this Name, and faintly repeated it. Upon which [...]he Aunt cried, 'Mr. Blifil, ay Mr. Blifil, of whom else have we been talking?' 'Good Heaven,' an­ [...]wered Sophia, ready to sink, 'of Mr. Jones, I thought; I am sure I know no other who deserves—' 'I protest,' cries the Aunt, 'you frighten [Page 290] me in your Turn. Is it Mr. Jones, and not Mr. Blifil, who is the Object of your Affection?' 'Mr. Blifil!' repeated Sophia. 'Sure it is impossible you can be in earnest; if you are, I am the most mise­rable Woman alive.' Mrs. Western now stood a few Moments silent, while Sparks of fiery Rage flash­ed from her Eyes. At length, collecting all her Force of Voice, she thundered forth in the following articulate Sounds:

'And is it possible you can think of disgracing your Family by allying yourself to a Bastard? Can the Blood of the Westerns submit to such Contami­nation! If you have not Sense sufficient to restrain such monstrous Inclinations, I thought the Pride of our Family would have prevented you from giving' the least Encouragement to so base an Affection; 'much less did I imagine you would ever have had the Assurance to own it to my Face.'

'Madam,' answered Sophia, trembling, 'what I have said you have extorted from me. I do not remember to have ever mentioned the Name of Mr. Jones, with Approbation, to any one before; nor should I now, had I not conceived he had had your Approbation. Whatever were my Thoughts of that poor unhappy young Man, I intended to have carried them with me to my Grave—To that Grave where now, I find, I am only to seek Re­pose.'—Here she sunk down in her Chair, drown­ed in her Tears, and, in all the moving Silence of unutterable Grief, presented a Spectacle which must have affected almost the hardest Heart.

All this tender Sorrow, however, raised no Com­passion in her Aunt. On the contrary, she now fell into the most violent Rage—'And I would rather', she cried, in a most vehement Voice, 'follow you to your Grave, than I would see you disgrace your­self and your Family by such a Match. O Hea­vens! could I have ever suspected that I should live [Page 291] to hear a Niece of mine declare a Passion for such a Fellow? You are the first—yes, Miss Western, you are the first of your Name who ever enter­tained so groveling a Thought. A Family so not­ed' for the Prudence of its Women,—Here she run on a full Quarter of an Hour, till having exhaust­ed her Breath rather than her Rage, she concluded with threatening to go immediately and acquaint her Brother.

Sophia then threw herself at her Feet, and laying hold of her Hands. 'begged her, with Tears, to conceal what she had drawn from her; urging the Violence of her Father's Temper, and protesting that no Inclinations of hers should ever prevail with her to do any thing which might offend him.'

Mrs. Western stood a Moment looking at her, and then having recollected herself, said, that 'on one Consideration only she would keep the Secret from her Brother; and this was, that Sophia should pro­mise to entertain Mr. Blifil that very Afternoon as her Lover, and to regard him as the Person who was to be her Husband.'

Poor Sophia was too much in her Aunt's Power to deny her any thing positively; she was obliged to promise that she would see Mr. Blifil, and be as civil to him as possible; but begged her Aunt that the Match might not be hurried on. She said, 'Mr. Blifil was by no means agreeable to her, and she hoped her Father would be prevailed on not to make her the most wretched of Women.'

Mrs. Western assured her, 'that the Match was en­tirely agreed upon, and that nothing could or should prevent it.' 'I must own,' said she, 'I looked on it as on a Matter of Indifference; nay, perhaps, had some Scruples about it before, which were ac­tually got over by my thinking it highly agreeable to your own Inclinations; but now I regard it as the most eligible Thing in the World; nor shall there [Page 292] be, if I can prevent it, a Moment of Time lost on the Occasion.'

Sophia replied, 'Delay at least, Madam, I may expect from both your Goodness and my Father's. Surely you will give me Time to endeavour to get the better of so strong a Disinclination as I have at present to this Person.'

The Aunt answered, 'She knew too much of the World to be so deceived; that as she was sensible another Man had her Affections, she would per­suade Mr. Western to hasten the Match as much as possible. It would be bad Politics indeed, added she, to protract a Siege when the Enemy's Army is at Hand, and in Danger of relieving it. No, no, Sophy, said she, as I am convinced you have a vio­lent Passion, which you can never satisfy with Ho­nour, I will do all I can to put your Honour out of the Care of your Family: For when you are married those Matters will belong only to the Consideration of your Husband. I hope, Child, you will always have Prudence enough to act as becomes you; but if you should not, Marriage hath saved many a Woman from Ruin.'

Sophia well understood what her Aunt menat; but did not think proper to make her an Answer. How­ever, she took a Resolution to see Mr. Blifil, and to behave to him as civilly as she could: For on that Condition only she obtained a Promise from her Aunt to keep secret the Liking which her ill Fortune, ra­ther than any Scheme of Mrs. Western, had unhap­pily drawn from her.

CHAP. VI.

Containing a Dialogue between Sophia and Mrs. Ho­nour, which may a little relieve those tender Affecti­ons which the foregoing Scene may have raised in the Mind of a good-natur'd Reader.

MRS. Western having obtained that Promise from her Niece which we have seen in the last Chap­ter, [Page 293] withdrew, and presently after arrived Mrs. Ho­nour. She was at Work in a neighbouring Apartment, and had been summoned to the Key-hole by some Vociferation in the preceding Dialogue, where she had continued during the remaining Part of it. At her Entry into the Room, she found Sophia standing mo­tionless, with the Tears trickling from her Eyes. Upon which she immediately ordered a proper Quan­tity of Tears into her own Eyes, and then began, 'O Gemini, my dear Lady, what is the Matter? Nothing,' cries Sophia. 'Nothing! dear Madam,' answers Mrs. Honour, 'you must not tell me that, when your Ladyship is in this Taking, and when there hath been such a Preamble between your La­dyship and Madam Western.' 'Don't teaze me,' cries Sophia, 'I tell you nothing is the Matter.—Good Heavens; Why was I born!—Nay, Ma­dam,' says Mrs. Honour, 'you shall never persuade me, that your La'ship can lament yourself so for nothing. To be sure, I am but a Servant; but to be sure I have been always faithful to your Lady­ship, and to be sure I would serve your La'ship with my Life.' 'My dear Honour,' says Sophia 'tis not in thy Power to be of any Service to me. I am irretrievably undone.' 'Heaven forbid,' an­swered the Waiting woman; 'but if I can't be of any Service to you, pray tell me, Madam, it will be some Comfort to me to know; Pray, dear Ma'am, tell me what's the Matter.' 'My Father,' cries Sophia, 'is going to marry me to a Man I both despise and hate.' O, dear Ma'am,' an­swered the other, 'Who is this wicked Man? for to be sure he is very bad, or your La'ship would not despise him.' 'His Name is Poison to my Tongue, replied Sophia,' 'thou wilt know it too soon.' In­deed, to confess the Truth, she knew it already, and therefore was not very inquisitive as to that Point. She then proceeded thus: 'I don't pretend to give [Page 294] your La'ship Advice, whereof your La'ship knows much better than I can pretend to, being but a Ser­vant; but i-fackins! no Father in England should marry me against my Consent. And to be sure, the Squire is so good, that if he did but know your La'ship despises and hates the young Man, to be sure he would not desire you to marry him. And if your La'ship would but give me Leave to tell my Master so—To be sure, it would be more properer to come from your own Mouth; but as your La'ship doth not care to foul your Tongue with his nasty Name.' 'You are mistaken, Honour,' says Sophia, 'my Father was determined before he ever thought fit to mention it to me.' 'More Shame for him,' cries Honour, 'you are to go to Bed to him, and not Master. And thof a Man may be a very proper Man, yet every Woman mayn't think him handsome alike. I am sure my Master would ne­ver act in this Manner of his own Head. I wish some People would trouble themselves only with what belongs to them; they would not, I believe, like to be served so, if it was their own Case: For tho' I am a Maid, I can easily believe as how all Men are not equally agreeable. And what signifies your La'ship having so great a Fortune, if you can't please yourself with the Man you think most hand­somest? Well, I say nothing, but to be sure it is Pity some Folks had not been better born; nay, as for that Matter, I should not mind it my self: But then there is not so much Money, and what of that, your La'ship hath Money enough for both; and where can your La'ship bestow your Fortune bet­ter? For to be sure every one must allow, that he is the most handsomest, charmingest, finest, tallest, properest Man in the World.' 'What do you mean by running on in this Manner to me?' cries Sophia, with a very grave Countenance. 'Have I ever giv­en any Encouragement for these Liberties? Nay, [Page 295] Ma'am, I ask Pardon, I meant no Harm,' answer­ed she, 'but to be sure the poor Gentleman hath run in my Head ever since. I saw him this Morning.—To be sure, if your Ladyship had but seen him just now, you must have pitied him. Poor Gentle­man! I wishes some Misfortune hath not happened to him: For he hath been walking about with his Arms a-cross, and looking so melancholy all this Morning; I vow and protest it made me almost cry to see him.' 'To see whom? says Sophia. 'Poor Mr. Jones,' answered Honour. 'See him! Why, where did you see him?' cries Sophia. 'By the Canal, Ma'am,' says Honour. 'There he hath been walking all this Morning, and at last there he laid himself down; I believe he lies there still. To be sure, if it had not been for my Modesty, being a Maid as I am, I should have gone and spoke to him. Do, Ma'am, let me go and see, only for a Fancy, whether he is there still.'' 'Pugh!' says Sophia, 'There! no, no, what should he do there? He is gone before this Time to be sure. Besides, why—what—why should you go to see?—Besides, I want you for something else. Go, fetch me my Hat and Gloves. I shall walk with my Aunt in the Grove before Dinner.' Honour did immediate­ly as she was bid, and Sophia put her Hat on; when looking in the Glass, she fancied the Ribbon with which her Hat was tied, did not become her, and so sent her Maid back again for a Ribbon of a different Colour; and then giving Mrs. Honour repeated Charges not to leave her Work on any Account, as she said it was in violent Haste, and must be finished that very Day, she muttered something more about going to the Grove, and then sallied out the contrary Way, and walked as fast as her tender trembling Limbs could carry her, directly towards the Canal.

Jones had been there, as Mrs. Honour had told her: He had indeed spent two Hours there that Morning [Page 296] in melancholy Contemplation on his Sophia, and had gone out from the Garden at one Door, the Moment she entered it at another. So that those unlucky Minutes which had been spent in changing the Rib­bons, had prevented the Lovers from Meeting at this Time. A most unfortunate Accident, from which my fair Readers will not fail to draw a very whole­some Lesson. And here I strictly forbid all Maie Critics to intermeddle with a Circumstance, which I have recounted only for the Sake of the Ladies, and upon whichthey only are at Liberty to comment.

CHAP. VII.

A Picture of formal Courtship in Miniature, as it al­ways ought to be drawn, and a Scene of a tenderer Kind, painted at full Length.

IT was well remarked by one, (and perhaps by more) that Misfortunes do not come single. This wise Maxim was now verified by Sophia, who was not only disappointed of seeing the Man she loved; but had the Vexation of being obliged to dress herself out, in order to receive a Visit from the Man she hated.

That Afternoon, Mr. Western, for the first Time, acquainted his Daughter with his Intention; telling her, he knew very well that she had heard it before from her Aunt. Sophia looked very grave upon this, nor could she prevent a few Pearls from stealing into her Eyes. 'Come, come,' says Western, 'none of your Maidenish Airs; I know all; I assure you,' Sister hath told me all.'

'Is it possible,' says Sophia, 'that my Aunt can have betrayed me already?' 'Ay, ay,' says Western, betrayed you! ay. Why, you betrayed yourself yesterday at Dinner. You shewed your Fancy ve­ry plainly, I think. But you young Girls never know what you would be at. So you cry because I am going to marry you to the Man you are in [Page 297] Love with! Your Mother, I remember, whimper­ed and whined just in the same Manner; but it was all over within twenty-four Hours after we were married: Mr. Blifil is a brisk young Man, and will soon put an End to your Squeamishness. Come, chear up, chear up, I expect un every Minute.'

Sophia was now convinced that her Aunt had be­haved honourably to her; and she determined to go through that disagreeable Afternoon with as much Resolution as possible, and without giving the least Suspicion in the World to her Father.

Mr. Blifil soon arrived; and Mr. Western soon af­ter withdrawing, left the young Couple together.

Here a long Silence of near a Quarter of an Hour ensued: For the Gentleman who was to begin the Conversation had all that unbecoming Modesty which consists in Bashfulness. He often attempted to speak, and as often suppressed his Words just at the very Point of Utterance. At last out they broke in a Torrent of far-fetched and high-strained Com­pliments, which were answered, on her Side, by downcast Looks, half Bows and civil Monosyl­lables. Blifil from his Inexperience in the Ways of Women, and from his Conceit of himself, took this Behaviour for a modest Assent to his Courtship; and when to shorten a Scene which she could no longer support, Sophia rose up and left the Room, he im­puted that too, merely to Bashfulness, and comfort­ed himself, that he should have enough of her Com­pany.

He was indeed perfectly well satisfied with his prospect of Success: For as to that entire and abso­lute Possession of the Heart of his Mistress, which romantic Lovers require, the very Idea of it never entered his Head. Her Fortune and Person were the sole Object of his Wishes, of which he made no Doubt soon to obtain the absolute Property; as Mr. Western's Mind was so earnestly bent on the Match; [Page 298] and as he well knew the strict Obedience which So­phia was always ready to pay to her Father's Will, and the greater still which her Father would exact, if there was Occasion. This Authority, therefore, to­gether with the Charms which he fancied in his own Person and Conversation, could not fail, he thought, of succeeding with a young Lady, whose Inclinations, were, he doubted not, entirely disengaged.

Of Jones he certainly had not even the least Jea­lousy; and I have often thought it wonderful that he had not. Perhaps he imagined the Character which Jones bore all over the Country, (how justly let the Reader determine) of being one of the wildest Fel­lows in England, might render him odious to a Lady of the most exemplary Modesty. Perhaps his Sus­picions might be laid asleep by the Behaviour of So­phia, and of Jones himself, when they were all in Company together. Lastly, and indeed principally, he was well assured there was not another Self in the Case. He fancied that he knew Jones at the Bottom, and had in Reality a great Contempt for his Under­standing, for not being more attached to his own In­terest. He had no Apprehension that Jones was in Love with Sophia; and as for any lucrative Motives, he imagined they would sway very little with so silly a Fellow. Blifil, moreover, thought the Affair of Molly Seagrim still went on, and indeed believed it would end in Marriage: For Jones really loved him from his Childhood, and kept no Secret from him, till his Behaviour on the Sickness of Mr. Allworthy had entirely alienated his Heart; and it was by means of the Quarrel which had ensued on this Occasion, and which was not yet reconciled, that Mr. Blifil knew nothing of the Alteration which had happened in the Affection which Jones had formerly bore to­wards Molly.

From these Reasons, therefore, Mr. Blifil saw no Far to his Success with Sophia. He concluded, her [Page 299] Behaviour was like that of all other young Ladies on [...] first visit from a Lover, and it had indeed entirely answered his Expectations.

Mr. Western took Care to way-lay the Lover at his Exit from his Mistress. He found himself so e­levated with his Success, so enamoured with his Daughter, and so satisfied with her Reception of him, that the old Gentleman began to caper and dance a­bout his Hall, and by many other antic Actions, to express the Extravagance of his Joy: For he had not the least Command over any of his Passions; and that which had at any Time the Ascendant in his Mind, hurried him to the wildest Excesses.

As soon as Blifil was departed, which was not till after many hearty Kisses and embraces bestowed on him by Western, the good Squire went in Quest of his Daughter, whom he no sooner found than he poured forth the most Extravagant Raptures, bid­ding her chuse what Clothes and Jewels she pleased; and declaring that he had no other Use for Fortune but to make her happy. He then caressed her again and again with the utmost Profusion of Fondness, called her by the most endearing Names, and pro­tested she was his only Joy on Earth.

Sophia perceiving her Father in this Fit of Affec­tion, which she did not absolutely know the Reason of (for Fits of Fondness were not unusual to him, tho' this was rather more violent than ordinary) thought she should never have a better Opportunity of disclosing herself than at present; as far at least, as re­garded Mr. Blifil; and she too well foresaw the Ne­cessity which she should soon be under of coming to a full Explanation. After having thanked the Squire, therefore for all his Professions of Kindness, she ad­ded, with a Look full of inexpressible Softness, 'And is it possible my Papa can be so good to place all his Joy in his Sophy's Happiness?' which Western [Page 300] having confirmed by a great Oath, and a Kiss; she then laid hold of his Hand, and falling on her Knees, after many warm and passionate Declarations of Af­fection and Duty, she begged him 'not to make her the most miserable Creature on Earth, by forc­ing her to marry a Man whom she detested. This I entreat of you, dear Sir,' said she, 'for your Sake as well as my own, since you are so very kind to tell me your Happiness depends on mine.' How! what!' says Western, staring wildly.' 'O Sir,' continued she, 'not only your poor Sophy's Happiness; her very Life, her Being depends up­on your granting her Request. I cannot live with Mr. Blifil. To force me into this Marriage, would be killing me.' 'You can't live with Mr. Blifil!' says Western. 'No, upon my Soul I can't, an­swered Sophia. Then die and be d—ned,' cries he, spurning her from him. 'Oh! Sir,' cries So­phia, catching hold of the Skirt of his Coat, 'take Pity on me, I beseech you. Don't look and say such cruel—Can you be unmoved while you see your Sophy in this dreadful Condition? Can the best of Father's break my Heart? Will he kill me by the most painful, cruel, lingering Death?' Pooh! Pooh!' cries the Squire, all Stuff and Nonsense, all Maidenish Tricks. Kill you indeed! Will Marriage kill you?'—'Oh Sir,' answered Sophia, such a Marriage is worse than Death—He is not even indifferent, I hate and detest him.—If you detest un never so much,' cries Western, 'you shall ha'un.' This he bound by an Oath too shocking to repeat, and after many violent Asseverations, con­cluded in these Words. 'I am resolved upon the Match, and unless you consent to it, I will not give you a Groat, not a single Farthing; no, tho' I saw you expiring with Famine in the Street, I would not relieve you with a Morsel of Bread. This is my fixed Resolution, and so I leave you to [Page 301] consider on it.' He then broke from her with such Violence, that her Face dashed against the Floor, and he burst directly out of the Room, leaving poor Sophia prostrate on the Ground.

When Western came into the Hall, he there found Jones; who seeing his Friend looking wild, and pale, and almost Breathless, could not forbear enquiring the Reason of all these melacholy Appearances. Up­on which the Squire immediately acquainted him with the whole Matter, concluding with bitter denuncia­tions against Sophia, and very pathetic Lamentations of the Misery of all Fathers who are so unfortunate to have Daughters.

Jones, to whom all the Resolutions which had been taken in Favour of Blifil were yet a Secret, was al­most struck dead with this Relation; but recovering his Spirits a little, mere Despair, as he afterwards said, inspired him to mention a Matter to Mr. Western, which seemed to require more impudence than a human Forehead was ever gifted with. He desired Leave to go to Sophia, that he might endeavour to obtain her Concurrence with her Father's Inclina­tions.

If the Squire had been as quick-sighted, as he was remarkable for the contrary, Passion might at present very well have blinded him. He thanked Jones for offering to undertake the Office, and said, 'Go, go, prithee, try what can'st do;' and then swore many execrable Oaths that he would turn her out of Doors unless she consented to the Match.

CHAP. VIII.

The Meeting between Jones and Sophia.

JONES departed instantly in Quest of Sophia, whom he found just risen from the Ground where her Father had left her, with the Tears trickling from her Eyes, and her Blood running from her Lips. [Page 302] He presently ran to her, and with a Voice full at once of Tenderness and Terrour, cried, 'O my Sophia, what means this dreadful Sight!'—She looked softly at him for a Moment before she spoke, and then said, 'Mr. Jones, for Heaven's Sake, how came you here?—Leave me, I beseech you, this Moment.' 'Do not,' says he, 'impose so harsh a Command upon me—my Heart bleeds faster than those Lips. O Sophia, how easily could I drain my Veins to preserve one Drop of that dear Blood.' 'I have too many Obli­gations to you already,' answered she, 'for sure' you meant them such—Here she looked at him tenderly almost a Minute, and then bursting into an an Agony, cried,—'O Mr. Jones,—why did you save my Life?—my Death would have been hap­pier for us both—'Happier for us both!' cried he, Could Racks or Wheels kill me so painfully as So­phia's!—I cannot bear the dreadful Sound—Do I live but for her?'—Both his Voice and look were full of inexpressible Tenderness when he spoke these Words, and at the same Time he laid gently hold on her Hand, which she did not withdraw from him; to say the Truth, she hardly knew what she did or suffered. A few Moments now passed in Silence between those Lovers, while his Eyes were eagerly fixed on Sophia, and hers declining towards the Ground; and at last she recovered Strength enough to desire him again to leave her; for that her cer­tain Ruin would be the Consequence of their being found together; adding,—'O Mr. Jones, you know not, you know not what passed this cruel After­noon.' I know all, my Sophia,' answered he; your cruel Father has told me all, and he himself hath sent me hither to you.' My Father sent you to me!' replied she, 'sure you dream.' Would to Heaven,' cries he, 'it was but a Dream. O Sophia, your Father hath sent me to you, to be [Page 303] an Advocate for my odious Rival, to solicite you in his Favour—I took any Means to get Access to you—O speak to me, Sophia, comfort my bleed­ing Heart. Sure no one ever loved, ever doated like me. Do not unkindly with-hold this dear, this soft, this gentle Hand—One Moment, perhaps, tears you for ever from me—Nothing less than this cruel Occasion could, I believe, have ever con­quered the Respect and Awe, with which you have inspired me.' She stood a Moment silent and covered with Confusion, then lifting up her Eyes gently towards him, she cried, 'What would Mr. Jones have me say?' 'O do but promise,' cries he, that you never will give yourself to Blifil,' 'Name not,' answered she, 'the detested Sound. Be assured I never will give him what it is in my Power to with-hold from him.' 'Now then,' cries he, 'while you are so perfectly kind, go a little far­ther, and add that I may hope.'—'Alass,' says she, 'Mr. Jones, whither will you drive me? What Hope have I to bestow? You know my Father's Intentions.'—'But I know,' answered he, 'your Compliance with them cannot be compelled.' What,' says she, 'must be the dreadful Conse­quence of my Disobedience? My own Ruin is my least Concern. I cannot bear the Thoughts of being the Cause of my Father's Misery.' He is himself the Cause,' cries Jones, 'by exacting a Power over you which Nature hath not given him. Think on the Misery I am to suffer, if I am to lose you, and see on which Side Pity will turn the Bal­lance.' 'Think of it!' replied she, 'can you imagine I do not feel the Ruin which I must bring on you, should I comply with your Desire—It is that Thought which gives me Resolution to bid you fly from me for ever, and avoid your own Destruc­tion.' I fear no Destruction,' cries he, 'but the Loss of Sophia; if you would save me from the [Page 304] most bitter Agonies, recall that cruel Sentence—Indeed, I can never part with you, indeed I can­not.'

The Lovers stood both silent and trembling, So­phia being unable to withdraw her Hand from Jones, and he almost as unable to hold it; when the Scene, which I believe some of my Readers will think had lasted long enough, was interrupted by one of so dif­ferent a Nature, that we shall reserve the Relation of it for a different Chrpter.

CHAP. IX.

Being of a much more tempestuous Kind than the for­mer.

BEFORE we proceed with what happened to our Lovers, it may be proper to recount what had past in the Hall, during their tender Interview.

Soon after Jones had left Mr. Western in the Man­ner above-mentioned, his Sister came to him; and was presently informed of all that had past between her Brother and Sophia, relating to Blifil.

This Behaviour in her Neice, the good Lady con­strued to an absolute Breach of the Condition, on which she had engaged to keep her Love for Mr. Jones a Secret. She considered herself, therefore, at full Liberty to reveal all she knew to the Squire, which she did immediately in the most explicite Terms, and without any Ceremony or Preface.

The Idea of a Marriage between Jones and his Daughter, had never once entered into the Squire's Head, either in the warmest Minutes of his Affection towards that young Man, or from Suspicion, or on any other Occasion. He did indeed consider a Parity of Fortune and Circumstances, to be physically as necessary an Ingredient in Marriage, as Difference of Sexes, or any other Essential; and had no more Ap­prehension of his Daughter's falling in Love with a [Page 305] poor Man, than with any Animal of a different Species.

He became, therefore, like one Thunderstruck at his Sister's Relation. He was, at first, incapable of mak­ing any Answer, having been almost deprived of his Breath by the Violence of the Surprize. This, however, soon returned, and as is usual in other Cases after an Intermission, with redoubled Force and Fury.

The first Use he made of the Power of Speech, af­ter his Recovery from the sudden Effects of his Asto­nishment, was to discharge a round Volley of Oaths and Imprecations. After which he proceeded hastily to the Apartment, where he expected to find the Lovers, and murmured, or indeed, rather roared forth Intentions of Revenge every Step he went.

As when two Doves, or two Wood-pigeons, or as when Strephon and Phillis (for that comes nearest to the Mark) are retired into some pleasant solitary Grove, to enjoy the delightful Conversation of Love; that bashful Boy who cannot speak in public, and is never a good Companion to more than two at a Time. Here, while every Object is serene, should a hoarse Thunder burst suddenly through the shattered Clouds, and rumbling roll along the Sky, the frightened Maid starts from the mossy Bank or verdant Turf; the pale Livery of Death succeeds the red Regimentals in which Love had before drest her Cheeks; Fear shakes her whole Frame, and her Lover scarce supports her trembling, tottering Limbs.

Or as when two Gentlemen, Strangers to the won­derous Wit of the Place, are cracking a Bottle toge­ther at some Inn or Tavern at Salisbury, if the great Dowdy who acts the Part of a Madman, as well as some of his Setters-on do that of a Fool, should rat­tle his Chains, and dreadfully hum forth the grumb­ling Catch along the Gallery; the frighted Strangers stand aghast, scared at the horrid Sound, they seek [Page 306] some Place of Shelter from the approaching Danger, and if the well-barred Windows did admit their Exit, would venture their Necks to escape the threatning Fury now coming upon them.

So trembled poor Sophia, so turned she pale at the Noise of her Father, who in a Voice most dreadful to hear, came on swearing, cursing and vowing the De­struction of Jones. To say the Truth, I believe the Youth himself would, from some prudent Considera­tions, have preferred another Place of Abode at this Time, had his Terrour on Sophia's Account given him Liberty to reflect a Moment on what any other­ways concerned himself, than as his Love made him partake whatever affected her.

And now the Squire having burst open the Door, beheld an Object which instantly suspended all his Fu­ry against Jones; this was the ghastly Appearance of Sophia, who had fainted away in her Lover's Arms. This tragical Sight Mr. Western no sooner beheld, than all his Rage forsook him, he roared for Help with his utmost Violence; ran first to his Daughter, then back to the Door, calling for Water, and then back again to Sophia, never considering in whose Arms she then was, nor, perhaps, once recollecting that there was such a Person in the World as Jones: For, indeed, I believe, the present Circumstances of his Daughter were now the sole consideration which em­ployed his Thoughts.

Mrs. Western and a great Number of Servants soon came to the Assistance of Sophia, with Water, Cordi­als, and every Thing necessary on those Occasions. These were applied with such Success, that Sophia in a very few Minutes began to recover, and all the Symptoms of Life to return. Upon which she was presently led off by her own Maid and Mrs. Western; nor did that good Lady depart without leaving some wholesome Admonitions with her Brother, on the [Page 307] dreadful Effects of his Passion, or, as she pleased to call it, Madness.

The Squire, perhaps, did not understand this goo Advice, as it was delivered in obscure Hints, Shrugs, and Notes of Admiration; at least, if he did under­stand it, he profited very little by it: For no sooner was he cured of his immediate Fears for his Daughter, than he relapsed into his former Frenzy, which must have produced an immediate Battle with Jones, had not Parson Supple, who was a very strong Man, been present, and by mere Force restrained the Squire from Acts of Hostility.

The Moment Sophia was departed, Jones advanced in a very suppliant Manner to Mr. Western, whom the Parson held in his Arms, and begged him to be pacify'd; for that while he continued in such a Passion it would be impossible to give him any Satisfac­tion.

'I wull have satisfaction o' thee,' answered the Squire, 'so doff thy Clothes. At unt half a Man, 'and I'll lick thee as well as wast ever licked in thy Life.' Hethen bespattered the Youth with Abundance of that Language, which passes between Country Gen­tlemen who embrace opposite Sides of the Question; with frequent Applications to him to salute that Part which is generally introduced into all Controversies, that arise among the lower Orders of the English Gen­try, at Horse-races, Cock-matches, and other pub­lic Places. Allusions to this Part are likewise often made for the Sake of the Jest. And here, I believe, the Wit is generally misunderstood. In Reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your A—for having just before threatened to kick his: For I have observ­ed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this Part in another.

It may likewise seem surprizing, that in the many thousand kind Invitations of this Sort, which every [Page 308] one who hath conversed with Country Gentlemen, must have heard, no one, I believe, hath ever seen a single Instance where the Desire hath been com­plied with. A great Instance of their Want of Po­liteness: For in Town, nothing can be more com­mon than for the finest Gentlemen to perform this Ceremony every Day to their Superiors, without having that Favour once requested of them.

To all such Wit, Jones very calmly answered, 'Sir, this Usage, may, perhaps, cancel every o­ther Obligation you have conferred on me; but there is one you can never cancel; nor will I be provoked by your Abuse, to lift my Hand against the Father of Sophia.'

At these Words, the Squire grew still more out­rageous than before; so that the Parson begged Jones to retire, saying, 'You behold, Sir, how he waxeth Wroth at your abode here; therefore, let me pray you not to tarry any longer. His Anger is too much kindled for you to commune with him at pre­sent. You had better, therefore, conclude your Visit, and refer what Matter you have to urge in your Behalf, to some other Opportunity.'

Jones accepted this Advice with Thanks, and im­mediately departed. The Squire now regained the Liberty of his Hands, and so much Temper as to express some Satisfaction in the Restraint which had been laid upon him; declaring that he should certainly have beat his Brains out; and adding, 'It would have vexed one confoundedly to have been hanged for such a Rascal.'

The Parson now began to triumph in the Success of his Peace-making Endeavours, and proceeded to read a Lecture against Anger, which might, perhaps, rather have tended to raise than to quiet that Passion in some hasty Minds. This Lecture he enriched with many valuable Quotations from the Antients, particularly from Seneca; who hath, indeed, so well [Page 309] handled this Passion, that none but a very angry Man can read him without great Pleasure and Profit. The Doctor concluded his Harangue with the famous Sto­ry of Alexander and Clytus; but as I find that entered in my Common-Place under Title Drunkenness, I shall not insert it here.

The Squire took no Notice of this Story, nor, perhaps, of any Thing he said: For he interrupted him before he had finished by calling for a Tankard of Beer; observing (which is, perhaps, as true as any Observation on this Fever of the Mind) that Anger makes a Man dry.

No sooner had the Squire swallowed a large Draught than he renewed the Discourse on Jones, and declared a Resolution of going the next Morning early to acquaint Mr. Allworthy. His Friend would have dissuaded him from this, from the mere Motive of Good-nature; but his Dissuasion had no other Effect, than to produce a large Volley of Oaths and Curses, which greatly shocked the pious Ears of Supple; but he did not dare to remonstrate against a Privilege, which the Squire claimed as a free-born Englishman. To say Truth, the Parson submitted to please his Palate at the Squire's Table, at the Ex­pence of suffering this Violence now and then to his Ears. He contented himself with thinking he did not promote this evil Practice, and that the Squire would not swear an Oath the less if he never entered within his Gates. However, tho' he was not guilty of ill Manners by rebuking a Gentleman in his own House, he paid him off obliquely in the Pulpit; which had not, indeed, the good Effect of working a Re­formation in the Squire himself, yet it so far operated on his Conscience, that he put the Laws very severe­ly in Execution against others, and the Magistrate was the only Person in the Parish who could swear with Impunity.

CHAP. X.

In which Mr. Western visits Mr. Allworthy.

MR. Allworthy was now retired from Breakfast with his Nephew, well satisfied with the Re­port of the young Gentleman's successful Visit to Sophia (for he greatly desired the Match, more on Account of the young Lady's Character than of her Riches) when Mr. Western broke abrubtly in upon them, and without any Ceremony began as follows.

'There, you have done a fine Piece of Work tru­ly. You have brought up your Bastard to a fine Purpose; not that I believe you have had any Hand in it neither, that is, as a Man may say, designedly; but there is a fine Kettle of Fish made o't up at our House.' 'What can be the Matter, Mr. Wes­tern? said Allworthy. O Matter enow of all Con­science; my Daughter hath fallen in Love with your Bastard, that's all, but I won't ge her a Ha­penny, not the Twentieth Part of a Brass Farthing. I always thought what would come o' breeding up a Bastard like a Gentleman, and letting un come a­bout to Volk's Houses. Its well vor un I could not get at un, I'd a licked un, I'd a spoil'd his Ca­terwauling, I'd a taught the Son of a Whore to meddle with Meat for his Master. He shan't ever have a Morsel of Meat of mine, or a Farthing to buy it: If she will ha un, one Smock shall be her Portion. I'll sooner ge my Esteate to the zinking Fund, that it may be sent to Hannover to corrupt our Nation with.' I am heartily sorry,' cries All­worthy. 'Pox o' your Sorrow,' says Western, 'it will do me Abundance of Good, when I have lost my only Child, my poor Sophy, that was the Joy of my Heart, and all the Hope and Comfort of my Age; but I am resolved I will turn her out o' Doors, she shall beg and starve and rot in the Streets. Not [Page 311] one Hapenny, not a Hapenny shall she ever hae o' mine. The Son of a Bitch was always good at finding a Hare sitting; an be rotted to'n, I little thought what Puss he was looking after; but it shall be the worst he ever vound in his Life. She shall be no better than Carrion; the Skin o'er is all he shall ha, and zu you may tell un.' 'I am in A­mazement,' cries Alllworthy 'at what you tell me, after what passed between my Nephew and the young Lady no longer ago than Yesterday.' 'Yes, Sir,' answered Western, 'it was after what passed be­tween your Nephew and she that the whole Mat­ter came out. Mr. Blifil there was no sooner gone than the Son of a Whore came lurching about the House. Little did I think when I used to love him for a Sportsman, that he was all the while a poach­ing after my Daughter.' 'Why, truly,' says All­worthy, 'I could wish you had not given him so ma­ny Opportunities with her; and you will do me the Justice to acknowledge, that I have always been averse to his staying so much at your House, tho' I own I had no Suspicion of this Kind.' 'Why, Zounds!' cries Western, 'who could have thought it? What the Devil had she to do wi'n? He did not come there a courting to her, he came a hunt­ing with me.' 'But was it possible,' says Allwor­thy, 'that you should never discern any Symptoms of Love between them, when you have seen them so often together? 'Never in my Life, as I hope to be saved,' cries Western. I never so much as see him kiss her in all my Life; and so far from courting her, he used rather to be more silent when she was in Company than at any other Time: And as for the Girl, she was always less civil to'n than to any young Man that came to the House. As to that Matter, I am not more easy to be deceived than another, I would not have you think I am Neigh­bour.' Allworthy could scarce refrain Laughter at [Page 312] this; but he resolved to do a Violence to himself: For he perfectly well knew Mankind, and had too much good Breeding and good Nature to offend the Squire in his present Circumstances. He then asked Western what he would have him do upon this Occasion. To which the other answered, 'That he would have him keep the Rascal away from his House, and that he would go and lock up the Wench: For he was resolved to make her marry Mr. Blifil in Spite of her Teeth.' He then shook Blifil by the Hand, and swore he would have no other Son-in-law. Present­ly after which he took his Leave, saying, his House was in such Disorder, that it was necessary for him to make Haste home, to take care his Daughter did not give him the Slip; and as for Jones, he swore if he caught him at his House, he would qualify him to run for the Gelding's Plate.

When Allworthy and Blifil were again left toge­ther, a long Silence ensued between them; all which Interval the young Gentleman filled up with Sighs, which proceeded partly from Disappointment, but more from Hatred: For the Success of Jones was much more grievous to him, than the Loss of Sophia.

At length his Uncle asked him what he was deter­mined to do, and he answered in the following Words. 'Alas, Sir, can it be a Question what Step a Lover will take, when Reason and Passion point different Ways? I am afraid it is too certain he will, in that Dilemma, always follow the latter. Reason dic­tates to me, to quit all Thoughts of a Woman who places her Affections on another; my Passion bids me hope she may, in Time, change her Inclinations in my Favour. Here, however, I conceive an Ob­jection may be raised, which if it could not fully be answered, would totally deter me from any fur­ther Pursuit. I mean the Injustice of endeavouring to supplant another, in a Heart of which he seems already in Possession; but the determined Resolu­tion [Page 313] of Mr. Western shews, that in this Case, I shall by so doing, promote the Happiness of every Party; not only that of the Parent, who will thus be pre­served from the highest Degree of Misery, but of both the others, who must be undone by this Match. The Lady, I am sure, will be undone in every Sense: For besides the Loss of most Part of her own Fortune, she will be married not only to a Beg­gar, but the little Fortune which her Father cannot with-hold from her, will be squandered on that Wench, with whom I know he yet converses—Nay, that is a Trifle: For I know him to be one of the worst Men in the World: For had my dear Un­cle known what I have hitherto endeavoured to con­ceal, he must have long since abandoned so profli­gate a Wretch.' 'How,' said Allworthy, 'hath he done any Thing worse than I already know? Tell me, I beseech you.' 'No,' replied Blifil, 'it is now past, and perhaps he may have repented of it.' 'I command you on your Duty,' said Allworthy, to tell me what you mean.' 'You know, Sir,' says Blifil, 'I never disobeyed you: but I am sorry I mentioned it, since it may now look like Revenge, whereas, I thank Heaven, no such Motive ever en­tered my Heart; and if you oblige me to discover it, I must be his Petitioner to you for your Forgive­ness.' 'I will have no Conditions,' answered All­worthy, 'I think I have shewn Tenderness enough towards him, and more, perhaps, than you ought to thank me for.' 'More, indeed, I fear than he deserved,' cries Blifil, 'for in the very Day of your utmost Danger, when myself and all the Family were in Tears, he filled the House with Riot and De­bauchery. He drank and sung and roared, and when I gave him a gentle Hint of the Indecency of his Actions, he fell into a violent Passion, swore many Oaths, called me Rascal, and struck me.' 'How!' cries Allworthy, 'did he dare to strike you?' 'I am [Page 314] sure,' cries Blifil, 'I have forgiven him that long ago. I wish I could so easily forget his Ingratitude to the best of Benefactors; and yet, even that, I hope you will forgive him, since he must have certainly been possessed with the Devil: For that very Even­ing, as Mr. Thwackum and myself were taking the Air in the Fields, and exulting in the good Symp­toms which then first began to discover themselves, we unluckily saw him engaged with a Wench in a Manner not fit to be mentioned. Mr. Thwackum, with more Boldness than Prudence, advanced to re­buke him, (when I am sorry to say it,) he fell up­on the worthy Man, and beat him so outragiously, that I wish he may have yet recovered the Bruises. Nor was I without my Share of the Effects of his Malice, while I endeavoured to protect my Tutor: But that I have long forgiven, nay I prevailed with Mr. Thwackum to forgive him too, and not to in­form you of a Secret which I feared might be fatal to him. And now, Sir, since I have unadvisedly dropped a Hint of this Matter, and your Commands have obliged me to discover the whole, let me inter­cede with you for him.' 'O Child,' said Allworthy, I know not whether I should blame or applaud your Goodness, in concealing such Villany a Moment; but where is Mr. Thwackum? Not that I want any Confirmation of what you say; but I will examine all the Evidence of this Matter, to justify to the World the Example I am resolved to make of such a Monster.'

Thwackum was now sent for, and presently ap­peared. He corroborated every Circumstance which the other deposed. Nay, he produced the Record up­on his Breast, where the Hand-writing of Mr. Jones remained very legible in black and blue. He con­cluded with declaring to Mr. Allworthy, that he should have long since informed him of this Matter, had not Mr. Blifil, by the most earnest Interpositions, [Page 315] prevented him. 'He is, says he, an excellent Youth; though such Forgiveness of Enemies is carrying the Matter too far.'

In reality, Blifil had taken some Pains to prevail with the Parson, and to prevent the Discovery at that Time; for which he had many Reasons. He knew that the Minds of Men are apt to be softened and re­laxed from their usual Severity by Sickness. Be­sides, he imagined that if the Story was told when the Fact was so recent, and the Physician about the House, who might have unravelled the real Truth, he should never be able to give it the malicious Turn which he intended. Again, he resolved to hoard up this Business, till the Indiscretion of Jones should af­ford some additional Complaints; for he thought the joint Weight of many Facts falling upon him toge­ther, would be the most likely to crush him; and he watched therefore some such Opportunity as that, with which Fortune had now kindly presented him. Lastly, by prevailing with Thwackum to conceal the Matter for a Time, he knew he should confirm an Opinion of his Friendship to Jones, which he had greatly laboured to establish in Mr. Allworthy.

CHAP. XI.

A short Chapter; but which contains sufficient Matter to affect the good-natured Reader.

IT was Mr. Allworthy's Custom never to punish any one, not even to turn away a Servant, in a Passion. He resolved, therefore, to delay his pas­sing Sentence on Jones till the Afternoon.

The poor young Man attended at Dinner, as usual; but his Heart was too much loaded to suffer him to eat. His Grief was a good deal aggravated by the un­kind Looks of Mr. Allworthy; whence he concluded that Western had discovered the whole Affair between him and Sophia: But as to Mr. Blifil's Story, he had [Page 316] not the least Apprehension; for of much the greater Part he was entirely innocent, and for the Residue, as he had forgiven and forgotten it himself, so he sus­pected no Remembrance on the other Side. When Dinner was over, and the Servants departed, Mr. Allworthy began to harangue. He set forth, in a long Speech, the many Iniquities of which Jones had been guilty, particularly those which this Day had brought to light, and concluded by telling him, 'that unless he could clear himself of the Charge, he was resolv­ed to banish him from his Sight for ever.'

Many Disadvantages attended poor Jones in making his Defence; nay, indeed he hardly knew his Accu­sation: For as Mr. Allworthy, in recounting the Drunkenness, &c. while he lay ill, out of modesty sunk every thing that related particularly to himself, which indeed principally constituted the Crime, Jones could not deny the Charge. His Heart was, besides, almost broken already, and his Spirits were so sunk, that he could say nothing for himself; but acknow­ledged the whole, and, like a Criminal in Despair, threw himself upon Mercy; concluding, 'That tho' he must own himself guilty of many Follies and Inadvertencies, he hoped he had done nothing to deserve what would be to him the greatest Punish­ment in the World.'

Allworthy answered, 'that he had forgiven him too often already, in Compassion to his Youth, and in Hopes of his Amendment: That he now found he was an abandoned Reprobate, and such as it would be criminal in any one to support and en­courage. Nay,' said Mr. Allworthy to him, 'your audacious Attempt to steal away the young Lady, calls upon me to justify my own Character in pu­nishing you. The World, who have already cen­sured the Regard I have for you, may think, with some Colour at least of Justice, that I connive at [Page 317] so base and barbarous an Action. An Action of which you must have known my Abhorrence, and which, had you any Concern for my Ease and Ho­nour, as well as for my Friendship, you would never have thought of undertaking. Fie upon it, young Man! indeed there is scarce any Punishment equal to your Crimes, and I can scarce think myself justifiable in what I am now going to bestow on you. However, as I have educated you like a Child of my own, I will not turn you naked into the World. When you open this Paper, there­fore, you will find something which may enable you with Industry, to get an honest Livelihood; but if you employ it to worse Purposes, I shall not think myself obliged to supply you farther, be­ing resolved, from this Day forward, to converse no more with you on any Account. I cannot avoid saying, There is no Part of your Conduct which I resent more than your ill Treatment of that good young Man (meaning Blifil) who had behaved with so much Tenderness and Honour towards you.'

These last Words were a Dose almost too bitter to be swallowed. A Flood of Tears now gushed from the Eyes of Jones, and every Faculty of Speech and Motion seemed to have deserted him. It was some Time before he was able to obey Allworthy's peremp­tory Commands of departing; which he at length did, having first kissed his Hands with a Passion dif­ficult to be affected, and as difficult be described.

The Reader must be very weak, if when he con­siders the Light in which Jones then appeared to Mr. Allworthy, he should blame the Rigour of his Sen­tence. And yet all the Neighbourhood, either from this Weakness, or from a worse Motive, condemned this Justice and Severity as the highest Cruelty. Nay, the very Persons who had before censured the good Man for the Kindness and Tenderness shewn [Page 318] to a Bastard (his own, according to the general Opi­nion) now cried out as loudly against turning his own Child out of Doors. The Women especially were unanimous in taking the Part of Jones, and rais­ed more Stories on the Occasion, than I have room, in this Chapter, to set down.

One Thing must not be omitted, that in their Cen­sures on this Occasion, none ever mentioned the Sum contained in the Paper which Allworthy gave Jones, which was no less than Five hundred Pounds; but all agreed that he was sent away Pennyless, and some said, naked from the House of his inhuman Father.

CHAP. XII.

Containing Love Letters, &c.

JONES was commanded to leave the House im­mediately, and told, that his Clothes and every thing else should be sent to him whithersoever he should order them.

He accordingly set out, and walked above a Mile, not regarding, and indeed scarce knowing whither he went. At length a little Brook obstructed his Pas­sage, he threw himself down by the Side of it; nor could he help muttering with some little Indignation, 'Sure my Father will not deny me this Place to rest in?'

Here he presently fell into the most violent Ago­nies, tearing his Hair from his Head, and using most other Actions which generally accompany Fits of Madness, Rage, and Despair.

When he had in this Manner vented the first Emo­tions of Passion, he began to come a little to him­self. His Grief now took another Turn, and dis­charged itself in a gentler Way, till he became at last cool enough to reason with his Passion, and to consider what Steps were proper to be taken in his deplorable Condition.

[Page 319] And now the great Doubt was how to act with regard to Sophia. The Thoughts of leaving her al­most rent his Heart asunder; but the Consideration of reducing her to Ruin and Beggary still racked him, if possible, more; and if the violent Desire of posses­sing her Person could have suffered him to listen one Moment to the Alternative, still he was by no means certain of her Resolution to indulge his Wishes at so high an Expence. The Resentment of Mr. Allwor­thy, and the Injury he must do to his Quiet, argued strongly against this latter; and lastly, the apparent Impossibility of his Success, even if he would sa­crifice all these Considerations to it, came to his Assis­tance; and thus Honour at last, backed with Despair, with Gratitude to his Benefactor, and with real Love to his Mistress, got the better of burning Desire, and he resolved rather to quit Sophia, than to pursue her to Ruin.

It is difficult for any who have not felt it, to con­ceive the glowing Warmth which filled his Breast, on the first Contemplation of this Victory over his Passion. Pride flattered him so agreeably, that his Mind perhaps enjoyed perfect Happiness; but this was only momentary, Sophia soon returned to his Imagination, and allayed the Joy of his Triumph with no less bitter Pangs than a good-natured Gene­ral must feel when he surveys the bleeding Heaps, at the Price of whose Blood he hath purchased his Lau­rels; for thousands of tender Ideas lay murdered be­fore our Conqueror.

Being resolved, however, to pursue the Paths of this Giant Honour, as the gigantic Poet Lee calls it, he determined to write a farewel to Sophia; and accordingly proceeded to a House not far off, where, being furnished with Materials, he wrote as follows:

[Page 320] MADAM,

'WHEN you reflect on the Situation in which I write, I am sure your Good-nature will pardon any Inconsistency or Absurdity which my Letter contains; for every thing here flows from a Heart so full, that no Language can express its Dictates.'

'I have resolved, Madam, to obey your Commands, in flying for ever from your dear, your lovely Sight. Cruel indeed those Commands are; but it is a Cruelty which proceeds from Fortune, not from my Sophia. Fortune hath made it necessary, ne­cessary to your Preservation, to forget there ever was such a Wretch as I am.'

'Believe me, I would not hint all my Sufferings to you, if I imagined they could possibly escape your Ears. I know the Goodness and Tenderness of your Heart, and would avoid giving you any of those Pains which you always feel for the Mise­rable. O let nothing which you shall hear of my hard Fortune cause a Moment's Concern; for af­ter the Loss of you, every thing is to me a Trifle.'

'O my Sophia! it is hard to leave you; it is hard­er still to desire you to forget me; yet the sincerest Love obliges me to both. Pardon my conceiving that any Remembrances of me can give you Dis­quiet; but if I am so gloriously wretched, sacrifice me every Way to your Relief. Think I never loved you; or think truly how little I deserve you; and learn to scorn me for a Presumption which, can never be too severely punished.—I am unable to say more—May Guardian Angels protect you for ever.'

He was now searching his Pockets for his Wax, but found none, nor indeed any thing else, therein; for in Truth he had, in his frantic Disposition, tossed every thing from him, and, amongst the rest, his [Page 321] Pocket-book, which he had received from Mr. All­worthy, which he had never opened, and which now first occurred to his Memory.

The House supplied him with a Wafer for his pre­sent Purpose, with which having sealed his Letter, he returned hastily towards the Brook Side, in or­der to search for the Things which he had there lost. In his Way he met his old Friend Black George, who heartily condoled with him on his misfortune; for this had already reached his Ears, and indeed those of all the Neighbours.

Jones acquainted the Game-keeper with his Loss, and he as readily went back with him to the Brook, where they searched every Tuft of Grass in the Mea­dow, as well where Jones had not been, as where he had been; but all to no Purpose, for they found nothing: For indeed, though the Things were then in the Meadow, they omitted to search the only Place where they were deposited; to wit, in the Pockets of the said George; for he had just before found them, and being luckily apprized of their Value, had very carefully put them up for his own Use.

The Game-keeper having exerted as much Dili­gence in Quest of lost Goods, as if he had hoped to find them, desired Mr. Jones to recollect if he had been in no other Place; 'For sure,' 'said he, 'if you had lost them here so lately, the Things must have been here still; for this is a very unlikely Place for any one to pass by;' and indeed it was by great Accident that he himself had passed through the Field, in order to lay the Wires for Hares, with which he was to supply a Poulterer at Bath the next Morn­ing.

Jones now gave over all Hopes of recovering his Loss, and almost all Thoughts concerning it, and turning to Black George, asked him earnestly, If he would do him the greatest Favour in the World.

[Page 322] 'George answered, with some Hesitation, Sir, you know you may command me whatever is in my Power, and I heartily wish it was in my Power to do you any Service.' In fact, the Question stag­gared him; for he had, by selling Game, amassed a pretty good Sum of Money in Mr. Western's Ser­vice, and was afraid that Jones wanted to borrow some small Matter of him; but he was presently relieved from his Anxiety, by being desired to convey a Let­ter to Sophia, which with great Pleasure he promised to do. And indeed, I believe there are few Favours which he would not have gladly conferred on Mr. Jones; for he bore as much Gratitude towards him as he could, and was as honest as Men who love Money better than any other Thing in the Universe generally are.

Mrs. Honour was agreed by both to be the proper Means by which this Letter should pass to Sophia. They then separated; the Game-keeper returned home to Mr. Western's, and Jones walked to an Ale-house at half a Mile's Distance, to wait for his Messenger's Return.

George no sooner came home to his Master's House, than he met with Mrs. Honour; to whom, having first sounded her with a few previous Questions, he delivered the Letter for her Mistress, and received at the same Time another from her for Mr. Jones; which Honour told him she had carried all that Day in her Bosom, and began to despair of finding any Means of delivering it.

The Game-keeper returned hastily and joyfully to Jones, who having received Sophia's Letter from him, instantly withdrew, and eagerly breaking it open, read as follows:

SIR,

'IT is impossible to express what I have felt since I saw you. Your submitting, on my Account, to [Page 323] such cruel Insults from my Father, lays me under an Obligation I shall ever own. As you know his Temper, I beg you will, for my Sake, avoid him. I wish I had any Comfort to send you; but believe this, that nothing but the last Violence shall ever give my Hand or Heart where you would be sorry to see them bestowed.'

Jones read this Letter a hundred Times over, and kissed it a hundred Times as often. His Passion now brought all tender Desires back into his Mind. He repented that he had writ to Sophia in the Manner we have seen above; but he repented more that he had made use of the Interval of his Messenger's Absence to write and dispatch a Letter to Mr. Allworthy, in which he had faithfully promised and bound himself to quit all Thoughts of his Love. However, when his cool Reflections returned, he plainly perceived that his Case was neither mended nor altered by So­phia's Billet, unless to give him some little Glimpse of Hope from her Constancy, of some favourable Accident hereafter. He therefore resumed his Re­solution, and taking leave of Black George, set for­ward to a Town about five Miles distant, whither he had desired Mr. Allworthy, unless he pleased to re­voke his Sentence, to send his Things after him.

CHAP. XIII.

The Behaviour of Sophia on the present Occasion; which none of her Sex will blame, who are capable of behaving in the same Manner. And the Dis­cussion of a knotty Point in the Court of Conscience.

SOPHIA had passed the last twenty-four Hours in no very desirable Manner. During a large Part of them she had been entertained by her Aunt, with Lectures of Prudence, recommending to her the Ex­ample of the polite World, where Women consider [Page 324] Matrimony, as Men do Offices of public Trust, only as the means of making their Fortunes, and of ad­vancing themselves in the World. In commenting on which Text Mrs. Western had displayed her Elo­quence several Hours.

These sagacious Lectures, though little suited ei­ther to the Taste or Inclination of Sophia, were, however, less irksome to her than her own Thoughts, that formed the Entertainment of the Night, during which she never once closed her Eyes.

But though she could neither sleep nor rest in her Bed, yet, having no Avocation from it, she was found there by her Father at his return from Allwor­thy's, which was not till past Ten o'Clock in the Morning. He went directly up to her Apartment, opened the Door, and seeing she was not up—cried 'Oh! you are safe then, and I am resolved to keep you so' He then locked the Door and de­livered the Key to Honour, having first given her the strictest Charge, with great Promises of Rewards for her Fidelity, and most dreadful Menaces of Punish­ment, in case she should betray her Trust.

Honour's Orders were not to suffer her Mistress to come out of her Room without the Authority of the Squire himself, and to admit none to her but him and her Aunt; but she was herself to attend her with whatever Sophia pleased, except only Pen, Ink, and Paper, of which she was forbidden the Use.

The Squire ordered his Daughter to dress herself and attend him at Dinner; which she obeyed; and having sat the usual Time, was conducted to her Prison.

In the Evening, the Goaler Honour brought her the Letter which she received from the Game-keeper. Sophia read it very attentively twice or thrice over, and then threw herself upon the Bed, and burst into a Flood of Tears. Mrs. Honour expressed great Astonishment at this Behaviour in her Mistress; nor [Page 325] could she forbear very eagerly begging to know the Cause of this Passion. Sophia made her no Answer for some Time, and then starting suddenly up, caught her Maid by the Hand, and cried, 'O Honour! I am undone.' 'I wish the Letter had been burnt before I had brought it to your La'ship. I'm sure I thought it would have comforted your La'ship, or I would have seen it at the Devil before I would have touch'd it.' 'Honour, says Sophia, 'you are a good Girl, and it is vain to attempt conceal­ing longer my Weakness from you; I have thrown away my Heart on a Man who hath forsaken me.' And is Mr. Jones, answered the Maid, 'such a Per­fidy Man?' 'He hath taken his Leave of me' says Sophia, 'for ever in that Letter. Nay, he hath de­sired me to forget him. Could he have desired that, if he had loved me? Could he have borne such a Thought? could he have written such a Word?' No certainly, Ma'am,' cries Honour, 'and to be sure, if the best Man in England was to desire me to forget him, I'd take him at his Word. Marry come up! I am sure your La'ship hath done him too much Honour ever to think on him. A young Lady who may take her Choice of all the young Men in the County. And to be sure, if I may be so pre­sumptious as to offer my poor Opinion, there is young Mr. Blifil, who besides that he is come of ho­nest Parents, and will be one of the greatest Squires all hereabouts, he is to be sure, in my poor Opi­nion, a more handsomer, and a more politer Man by half; and besides, he is a young Gentleman of a sober Character, and may defy any of the Neigh­bours to say black is his Eye: He follows no dirty Trollops, nor can any Bastards be laid at his Door. Forget him indeed! I thank Heaven I myself am not so much at my last Prayers, as to suffer any Man to bid me forget him twice. If the best He that wears a Head was for to go for to offer for to [Page 326] say such an affronting Word to me, I would never give him my Company afterwards, if there was another young Man in the Kingdom. And as I was a saying, to be sure, there is young Mr. Blifil,—Name not his detested Name,' cries Sophia. 'Nay, Ma'am, says Honour, if your La'ship doth not like him, there be more jolly handsome young Men that would court your La'ship, if they had but the least Encouragement. I don't believe there is arrow young Gentleman in this County, or the next to it, that if your La'ship was but to look as if you had a Mind to him, would not come about to make his Offers directly.' 'What a Wretch dost thou ima­gine me,' cries Sophia, 'by affronting my Ears with such Stuff! I detest all Mankind.' 'Nay, to be sure, Ma'am,' answered Honour, 'your La'ship hath had enough to give you a Surfeit of them. To be used ill by such a poor beggarly bastardly Fellow.' Hold your blasphemous Tongue,' cries Sophia, how dare you mention his Name with Disrespect before me? He use me ill? No, his poor bleed­ing Heart suffered more when he writ the cruel Words, than mine from reading them. O! he is all heroic Virtue, and Angelic Goodness. I am ashamed of the Weakness of my own Passion, for blaming what I ought to admire.—O Honour! it is my good only which he consults. To my In­terest he sacrifices both himself and me.—The Apprehension of ruining me hath driven him to De­spair.' 'I am very glad, says Honour, 'to hear your La'ship takes that into your Consideration: for to be sure, it must be nothing less than Ruin, to give your Mind to one that is turned out of Doors, and is not worth a Farthing in the World. 'Turn­ed out of Doors! cries Sophia hastily, 'how! what dost thou mean? 'Why, to be sure, Ma'am, my Master no sooner told Squire Allworthy about Mr. Jones having offered to make Love to your [Page 327] 'Ladyship, than the Squire stripped him stark naked, and turned him out of Doors. 'Ha! says Sophia, have I been the cursed, wretched Cause of his De­struction?—Turned naked out of Doors! Here, Honour, take all the Money I have; take the Rings from my Fingers.—Here my Watch, carry him all.—Go, find him immediately. For Heaven's Sake, Ma'am, answered Mrs. Honour, 'do but consider, if my Master should miss any of these Things, I should be made to Answer for them. Therefore let me beg your Ladyship not to part with your Watch and Jewels. Besides the Mo­ney, I think, is enough of all Conscience; and as for that, my Master can never know any thing of the Matter.' 'Here then,' cries Sophia, take every Farthing I am worth, find him out immediately and' give it him. Go, go, lose not a Moment.

Mrs. Honour departed according to Orders, and finding Black George below Stairs, delivered him the Purse which contained Sixteen Guineas, being in­deed the whole Stock of Sophia: For tho' her Father was very liberal to her, she was much too generous herself to be rich.

Black George having received the Purse, set for­ward towards the Alehouse; but in the Way a Thought occurred to him, whether he should not de­tain this Money likewise. His Conscience, how­ever, immediately started at this Suggestion, and be­gan to upbraid him with Ingratitude to his Benefac­tor. To this his Avarice answered, 'That his Con­science should have considered that Matter before, when he deprived poor Jones of his 500l. That having quietly acquiesced in what was of so much greater Importance, it was absurd, if not down­right Hypocrisy, to affect any Qualms at this Trifle.' In return to which, Conscience, like a good Lawyer, attempted to distinguish between an absolute Breach of Trust, as here where the Goods were de­livered, [Page 328] and a bare Concealment of what was found, as in the former Case. Avarice presently treated this with Ridicule, called it a Distinction without a Differ­ence, and absolutely insisted, that when once all Pre­tensions of Honour and Virtue were given up in any one Instance, that there was no Precedent for resorting to them upon a second Occasion. In short, poor Con­science had certainly been defeated in the Argument, had not Fear stept in to her Assistance, and very stre­nuously urged, that the real Distinction between the two Actions, did not lie in the different Degrees of Honour, but of Safety: For that the secreting the 500l. was a Matter of very little Hazard; whereas the detaining the Sixteen Guineas was liable to the utmost Danger of Discovery.

By this friendly Aid of Fear, Conscience obtained a compleat Victory in the Mind of Black George, and after making him a few Compliments on his Honesty, forced him to deliver the Money to Jones.

CHAP. XIV.

A short Chapter, containing a short Dialogue between Squire Western and his Sister.

MRS. Western had been engaged abroad all that Day. The Squire met her at her Return home; and when she enquired after Sophia, he ac­quainted her that he had secured her safe enough. 'She is locked up in Chamber,' cries he, 'and Honour keeps the Key.' As his Looks were full of prodi­gious Wisdom and Sagacity when he gave his Sister this Information, it is probable he expected much Applause from her for what he had done; but how was he disappointed, when with a most disdainful As­pect, she cried, 'Sure Brother, you are the weakest of all Men. Why will you not confide in me for the Management of my Niece? Why will you in­terpose? [Page 329] You have now undone all that I have been spending my Breath in order to bring about. While I have been endeavouring to fill her Mind with Ma­xims of Prudence, you have been provoking her to reject them. English Women, Brother, I thank Heaven, are no Slaves. We are not to be locked up like the Spanish and Italian Wives. We have as good a Right to Liberty as yourselves. We are to be convinced by Reason and Persuasion only, and not governed by Force. I have seen the World, Brother, and know what Arguments to make Use of; and if your Folly had not prevented me, should have prevailed with her to form her Conduct by those Rules of Prudence and Discretion which I for­merly taught her.' 'To be sure,' said the Squire,. I am always in the Wrong.' 'Brother,' answered the Lady, 'you are not in the Wrong, unless when you meddle with Matters beyond your Know­ledge. You must agree, that I have seen most of the World; and happy had it been for my Niece, if she had not been taken from under my Care. It is by living at home with you that she hath learnt ro­mantick Notions of Love and Nonsense.' 'You don't imagine, I hope,' cries the Squire, 'that I have taught her any such Things.' Your Ignorance, Brother,' returned she, 'as the great Milton says, almost subdues my Patience.' * 'D—n Milton,' an­swered the Squire, 'if he had the Impudence to say so to my Face, I'd lend him a Douse, thof he was never so great a Man. Patience! an you come to that, Sister, I have more Occasion of Patience, to be used like an overgrown School-boy as I am by' you. Do you think no one hath any Understand­ing, [Page 330] unless he hath been about at Court? Pox! the World is come to a fine Pass indeed, if we are all Fools, except a Parcel of Roundheads and Han­nover Rats. Pox! I hope the Times are a coming that we shall make Fools of them, and every Man shall enjoy his own. That's all, Sister, and every man shall enjoy his own. I hope to zee it, Sister, before the Hannover Rats have eat up all our Corn, and left us nothing but Turneps to feed upon.' 'I protest, Brother,' cries she, 'you are now got beyond my Understanding. Your Jargon of Tur­neps and Hannover Rats, is to me perfectly unin­telligible.' 'I believe,' cries he, 'you don't care to hear o'em; but the country Interest may succeed one Day or other for all that. 'I wish,' answered the Lady, 'you would think a little of your Daugh­ter's Interest: For believe me, she is in greater Danger than the Nation.' 'Just now,' said he, you chid me for thinking on her, and would ha' her left to you.' 'And if you will promise to interpose on more,' answered she, 'I will, out of my Regard to my Niece, undertake the Charge.' 'Well, do then,' said the Squire, 'for you know I always a­greed, that Women are the properest to manage Women.'

Mrs. Western then departed, muttering something with an Air of Disdain, concerning Women and the Management of the Nation. She immediately re­paired to Sophia's Apartment, who was now, after a Day's Confinement released again from her Cap­tivity.

The End of the First Volume.

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