THE CHARACTER OF SPAIN: Or, An EPITOME OF Their Virtues and Vices.
LONDON: Printed for Nath. Brooke at the Angel in Cornhil. 1660.
THere is lately publisht an Accomplisht Piece, viz. Englands Worthies, in 47 select Lives of the most eminent persons, from Constantine till these late times. A Piece worth perusal, By William VVinstanley Gent.
TO THE READER.
THis handful of my Gleanings I have here scattered among you, and if you judge them worth the gathering, take them, and welcome: if not, leave them, and there's no hurt done; For my own particular, I hold it less criminal [Page]to sport away the tedious houres with the dalliance of my Pen, than to live besotted with black Melancholy Yet as I am not of Heraclitus his humour, to whine away my dayes; no more am I of Democritus his temper, to laugh out my time; but now and then to unbend my self with moderate relaxation, is my absolute temper and constitution. Semel in anno ridet Apollo: The God of Wisdom is merry once a year, and why may not I? there is no reason to the contrary in my judgement, especially [Page]since that no man I presume, wil be offended at my mirth, unless he be a Spaniard: Now how it may move his admirable choller, I am altogether insensible, yet I am confident, if he be but furnished with so much patience as to peruse it, he will undoubtedly like some, and that is as much as I can either expect or desire: I have here painted them with Spanish Wooll, set them forth in their own colours, as far as lay within the compass of my power and so small a Volume.
As for my labor herein, I [Page]much detest so sickly an impotency, as to overwean my self with a conceipt of my own Work; but if the truly judicious, who are ever accompanied with a clear perspicacity, and a milde censure, shall courteously receive it, I am crown'd: But if any left-handed Pythagoreans, (who compel the Pen men of this Age, as they did the ancient Comoedians, to make use of Apologies in lieu of Prologues) shall sinisterly accept what is voluntarily and kindly offered to their survey, I onely desire that they may be endowed [Page]with that other mute qualification of the Pythagoreans, viz. Silence.
As for the mistakes that I may here be accused of, if convinced of them, I will ingenuously confess them, and doubt not of pardon, since I have so good a Solicitor in the eye of any that are but moderately courteous, as my own infancy in respect of maturity of judgement. Besides, this will plead my excuse, the purest eye cannot discern its own blemishes, unless by reflection; the Moon hath her macula's or spots; Venus had her mole, [Page]and all persons their failings, therfore for me to have committed no faults, had been to put off man
But if any in the procacity of ignoble Envy (occasioned usually by a despair of Imitation) continue to be farther contumelious, I shall pass it by, knowing that a little assumed Soloecisme will serve my turn; and I with a kinde of deaf contempt will pass by the outrages of their obstreperous clamor, undisturb'd. Thus you have my resolution, and now I have no more to do, but bid you
Farewel.
THE CHARACTER OF SPAIN.
TIs Nature's Sweating-tub, a Nest of Wolves, the very Seat of Hunger and Famine, a place where never any Lotus grew; for be confident no person that ever travell'd thither, desired to make it his place of residence; or when once past her bounds, was ever prompted by his fancy to a second Visit; for whosoever goes thither may be said to come out of [Page 2]Gods blessing into the warm Sun, who is too too prodigal of his Beams here, which makes the Soyl barren, and but a desart, if compared to her neighbors, being like a Libbards skin, here a spot, and there a spot inhabited, swelling with huge Mountains and high Hills, which forc't a Gentleman into this expression of her, Beati qui sterilitatem non viderunt, sed crediderunt: Happy are they that were never so unhappy as to see the sterility of Spain, but to believe it onely. 'Tis an excellent Countrey to travel in, for you shall scarce meet with Meat for money, but Sawce good store, nor an Inne to entertain you; for the Master and the Mule usually lodge together, and the latter perhaps meets with better fare then the former.
As for the Natives, and first their Sovereign, he boasts that he hath the Sun for his Crest; but 'tis certain that most of his Subjects bear the Moon crescent, for all the strict Confinement of their Wives: Pride, Haughtiness and Ambition, accompanied with an imaginary conceit of their own peculiar Grandeza, are the Ingredients that usually go to the composition of a Spaniard; so that it is hard to judge whether the Countrey, or the mindes of the Inhabitants are most aspiring and mountainous. They are Saturnine, dull, slow, melancholick, and altogether speculative, aiming at no other terminus ad quem, then Contemplation, without afterwards directing or setling it upon any servile, inferior, or mechanick work or employment; [Page 4]so that you shall finde few natural Spaniards of any mechanick Trade, as Shoemakers, Taylors, Coblers, Joyners, Innkeepers, or the like; for which I call all Travellers to witness that go into Spain, and return offended, because they finde no Ale-houses or Inns upon the way as they do in other Countreys, so that they are compell'd to be their own Providores, and carry Victuals in their bags, and Wine in their bottles; for they delight infinitely in their imagin'd Grandeza, outward appearances and honor, not at all regarding their private interest, so that they can but create unto themselves the opinion and esteem of the world; and if they want good Apparel, and biting penury nips them, they will fast two or three days for a [Page 5]handsom Cloak, or a starch'd Ruff, and then strut it abroad in state; so deliberately do they measure their way, as if they said a Pater Noster or an Ave Maria between every step, and if he be so far stimulated by that Tyrant Necessity, that he must vend his clothes to buy him food, he will first part with his Shirt, because that with his Doublet & Ruff he covers the want of it; then if his needs increase, off goes his Doublet, covering his body with his Cloak; next his Sword; after that his Ruff, and last of all his Cloak, till he has never a one left to cover his pride and knavery, and this is their method which exigencies prompts them to. His pride, when reduced to the utmost extent of poverty, viz. beggery, is infamous; for he will [Page 6]never confess that necessity, but some casualty or misfortune compell'd him to it; as, that he was forced to cloath himself in these despicable weeds to preserve his life, and his honor: and thus to play the Fryar Mendicant, when he craves your charity, it shall be in these or the like terms, May it please you Sir, to do some courtesie for a distressed Cavaliero, that hath deserted his native countrey for such and such a mischance, and been constrained to shew himself in this misbeseeming garb; and when you are certified of the quality of the person that craves your Alms (as long it will not be) you will think your selves happy in relieving so noble a person as I am: and if perchance he that hears him, demands who he is? he will reyly, [Page 7]The Nephew to some Earl, or Duke, or Brother to the Admiral of Castile, and that some famous Princess being enamored with him, he privily conveyed her out of her Fathers house in mans apparel; which Plot being discovered by her Parents, he was constrained to absent himself from the place of his nativity, and live thus unknown, till by the mediation of his friends he were reduced to his pristine condition: Besides, he will boast of fifteen or twenty thousand Crowns per annum, besides eight Baronies, and if the person bestows some small piece of money on him, he throwes it contemptibly in the Donor's face, but afterwards lookes for it very calmly and peaceably on the ground, and when he ha's found it, ha's the [Page 8]grace to put up a Pater Noster, or send up some short Ejaculation for the prosperity and good success of his Benefactor. Nor do the females come short of them in pride or arrogancy, which may be sufficiently evinced by this ensuing Relation that Barclay in his Euphormio affords me. 'Tis a story of a poor miserable Spanish woman, that coming with her family (her three sonnes I mean) to beg of a French Shoemaker, he being compassionate told her, he would ease her of her charge, and take one of her sons from her, and make him of his own profession, that so he might be able to get a competency, whereby he might maintain himself handsomly: She with a great deal of indignation replied, O Sir, God forbid I [Page 9]should cast away my childe on a stranger, of so mechanick a profession as yours is; who knows, but in time he may come to be Viceroy of Naples, or Mexico. So horribly are they puft up with the timpany of pride, that they are the greatest enemies under the sun to their own preferment: Go but into their Casa de Locos, or Bedlam, and you shall hear one cry, I will be King; another, I am Emperor; and a third, I am Pope: all which verifies our English Proverb, That which is bred in the bone, will ne're out of the flesh. Nay, their pride is so infamous, that it is grown common, even to a Proverb, indebted to them for being so; for they have a vaporing saying of themselves in point of valour, Un Espannol son quatro Diables en Francia. [Page 10]One Spaniard can act the part of four devils in France. And when Mendoza was Ambassadour in France, he would often break out into this prophane Ostentation; Dios es Poderoso en Cielo, y Don Felipe en Tierra: God bears sway in Heaven, and King Philip on Earth: So daringly presumptious are they, as to make God their fellow-creature. Nay, your Thrasonical Castillians will not stick to say, Un Espannol vale quatre Tudescos, tres Franceses, y dos Italianos. One Spaniard is worth four Germans, three Frenchmen, and two Italians. So self-conceited are they of their own imaginary dignity and deserts, that they judge no Nation fit to come in competition with them. I will borrow a Story of one of our rarely accomplish'd Gentlemen, [Page 11]concerning a Castilian Capitain, who used to express himself in this ensuing maner: When I descend into my self, and contemplate my most horrible terrible terribility, I can hardly contain my self within my self: These Breeches that I wear are ftust with Capitains Beards, and the Mustacho's of French Generals; my Pillow is filled with Amazonian hair, my Cushion is made of a Turban taken off of the Grand Sultan's head, my Coverlet is the skin of the Nemean Lion that Hercules slew, my Curtains are made up of Colours and Ensigns taken in divers Battels: When I march into the fields, I commonly carry two Drums, as Pendents at my ears; I am lull'd asleep by the noise of Trumpets, and brass Kettles; and Perillus [Page 12]his Bull strecht along, serves me for a Pillow: I was born in the moneth of Mars, who was then the predominant Planet, and Ascendant: I came into the world about break of day; Sol himself then suffered an Eclipse, Jove and Mercury hid themselvs, and Cynthia withdrew her horns for fear; that morning it rained blood; the streams of the greatest Rivers turn'd red; Mongibel and Strombola belch'd forth more fire then ordinarily: Near the place I was nurft in, there was a Den of Lions, that I might be mur'd to their roaring; and one time my mother caused a young Cub to be slain, on purpose to feed me with the blood thereof. To conclude, I am that invincible, transcendent, great Capitain Basilisco Espheramonte, Generalissimo [Page 13]of all the Militia of Europe: I am he that useth to swallow Mountains, breathe Whirlewindes, spit Targets, and sweat Quick-silver: I believe all the Notaries in Biscay, in three years space cannot cast up those miraculous Atchievements, which I the Scourge of Lutherans, Converter of Pagans, and Peopler of Church-yards, have performed, &c.
Would not any one imagine that Ovids ghost were rambled hither, and by a Pythagorean Metempsychosis transmigrated into this Person, all that opposeth this conjecture is onely this, that the one writ in undigested rough prose, and the other in soft sweet verse, this modern, hath quite out-fabled the ancient Ovid. Thraso himself where he [Page 14]intervives, durst not come in competition with this Bragadocio Castilian, such a piece of prodigious self-conceitedness as this, the world ne're heard of. Another strange kind of temper discrepant from all Nations they have, and that is this, as great an argument of their haughtiness, as any of the preceding If any one should demand an account in a strange Countrey concerning any of the Natives, though never so mean, nay the son of a Cobler, he will reply, And is't possible, sir, that you should not know that Cavalier? Did you never hear of him? And all this nay more, though he be but one of their sunbak't Peasants I dare lay a wager there is not a Child in the City or Kingdome five years old, but knows him, at least, if he be [Page 15]sprung of noble Patents. You shall therefore understand, Sir, (then he begins to be the false Herald of his forged fame) that he is Son to the Maggiorasco of Castile, and one of the most noble families that Spain can boast of, and there are many that confidently pronounce him second Cosin to King Philip: yet doth he go disgused in these weeds, that he may be undiscerned by the searching eye of the vulgar: besides I must engage you to silence in this business, for if the King should be sensible in the least of his residence here, he would take it hainously that he did not alight at Court assoon as he arrived: But he that will discourse of all particulars on this subject, must necessarily swell into a volume, wherefore I will wind all up [Page 16]upon a small bottom. Now for the nature of the Spaniard they are composed of fancy, and an affected gravity, under which lurks store of arrogancy, you shall have one of a dunghilbrood stand on tip-toe, twerling his Mustachos say, Voto a tal io soy tan burno ce mo el Rey Don Felipe, I swear by Jupiter Ammon, that I am in as good a condition as King Philip; nor will some of them scruple the saying, that they will walk arm'd in Paradise, but 'tis to be feared they are no birds of Paradise, and so there is very little probability of of their nestling there. You shall see some of their Dons pacing of it with abundance of gravity, environ'd with a croud of Servitors, or more properly, vassalls, two before him, one holds his hat upon [Page 17]occasion, another his cloak, if it chance to rain, another carries a clout to rub his Ginnet whilest he is at Mass, another a Currycomb to kemb his Mane, and all these when they come home, will be content with a crust of bread, and a radish apiece for their repast. They have a saying of the French (between whom there is a very strange antipathy, and that irreconcilable too; Al primer impetu son mas que hombres, y despues menos que mugeres. Their first onset manifests them more then men, but their last less then women. But they to requite their kindness, have an ill-favor'd saying of them, That the Spaniards in point of true active valor, are but bearded women.
Now as to their habit and garb, they usually go close buttoned, [Page 18]nor will they unbutton though fire fall from heaven. Their Collar is very close, as if they intended that saying in the sacred Code, [...] All things are bare neckt to God. He usually wears that upon his arms, which others do on their thighs, viz. long sleeves, and short breeches: besides, he wears his stockings so close and streight to his Leg, that you cannot take hold of them with a pair of pincers: As for their gesture in the street, if there be a company, they march two by two, as if they went in procession to some Saint, or Lady, and that so slowly, that you would judge them to be newly recovered of a Quartan-Ague; and 'tis beyond the power of whip or staff to quicken their pace. As for their speech, they [Page 19]are so hellishly ambitious, as to say that when God forbad Adam eating of the tree of knowledge, he spoke in Spanish, such is their imperiousness and arrogancy; but I am an enemy to tediousness, especially whilest I am under the name of a Character; therefore to some other particulars.
And first let's make a Pass at the Jesuite, that plays the Machiavilian both in Church and State, those grand Supporters of the Spanish Crown, which made a Burgundian Gentleman say, Un Espagnol sans son Jesuite est comme un Perdrix sans Orange. A Spaniard without a Jesuite at his elbow in consultation, is like Powder'd-beef without mustard. Define them we need not, since 'tis done already to our hands by Alexander Hays, one of their [Page 20]own Order, and 'tis this; Jesuita est omnis home: They are Pluto's prime Agents, that labor tooth and nayl to people his infernal Territories, and adde Vassals to his gloomy majesty. No persons have been greater Incendiaries, or Boutefeux, then these Ecclesiastical Grotesco's; they usher in all Quarrels, Contentions, Debates, and Scissures, both in Church and State. They are the Umbra of the Nobility, inseparable associates, that follow them as a shadow doth the bodies, which is the reason of the numerous Legacies that are conferr'd upon them, yet they are like those little animals Seneca speaks of, qua mordent, & non sentiuntur: For wheresoever they get footing or entertainment, they prejudice by insensible encroachments, [Page 21]though the party shall not judge himself hurt, or damaged in the least. And as to their damnable Inquisition, if you are resolved upon a Dispute concerning any Doctrine held by the Roman Church, they will retort with a Syllogism of Hemp, or Fire, which is far more harsh then one in Barbara, or Baroco, and fitter for devils then men. And though they are so much in esteem with the Pope, yet are they maligned and flouted at by the vulgar, as appears by the Pasquils no less various, then ingenious and tart, that are bestowed on them in every place, which is apparent to any one that is but a mean Historian. When they first negotiated in France for footing in Paris, they were askt, whether they were Seculares, or Regulares? [Page 22]and replied, Tales, Quales, such and such, which remain; upon record a Nick-name to them even to this very day. But what the subject bestowed on them with the tongue, they fetcht out of their Soveraign's teeth (King Henry the fourth I mean) they began to take a course that he might be hit in the teeth with nothing, by endeavoring to beat them all out; for a young Jesuite green in growth, but old in villany, stabb'd him in the mouth, though it happened with the loss of one onely tooth; whereupon the King said merrily, Falloit il que les Jesuites fussent convanicus par ma bouche? Must they needs be convinced by my mouth? Hereupon they were commanded to depart the Kingdom by such a day, and a new Stone-Gallows [Page 23]erected before the Pallace gate for the execution of the Offender; but the King out of fear (so much do they awe the Scepter) removed it; Hereupon one sung ingeniously to his Majesty:
Taught to speak English thus:
But they finding themselves too much abused by the imposition of that scandalous Title on them of Tales, Quales, (as they judg'd it) were so prophane as to call themselves Socios Jesu ever after, the Associates of Christ (daring villains, that rank themselves in the same degree with their Redeemer) yet in the sacred pages we read but of one that was called Christ's Companion, and that was Judas: this must needs be in their own judgement malum per pejus, they have well mended the matter; for they were their own God-fathers, and did rebaptize themselves contrary to the Canons of their own Church, for they allow not a second Baptism, and that with a far more [Page 25]ignominious (as it falls out) though truer appellation. 'Twas their sophistical equivocation that caused that Clause to be inserted in the Oath of Supremacy in England, without mental reservation. Nay, the Great Turk on the Asian shore, banished them out of Pera near Constantinople, upon the relation that Queen Elizabeths Ambassadors made of their impiety and inhumanity. Nay the Venetians, though birds of the same feathers, and both feathers of the Roman Eagle, drove this ridiculous and ravenous Bird clear out of the Confines of their Dominions, so sensible were they of the horrible out-rages that are usually committed by them; for there is no massacre how inhumane soever, but either they kindle the faggots, [Page 26]or afford the fuel. One of their notorious Machiavilian designs, though frustrated, was hatched for our destruction, viz. in Eighty Eight, when they came with their invincible Armado (as they styled it) but we re-baptized it in our Brittish Seas, the Vincible Armado, for there it was overwhelmed, destroyed, and dispersed. They made a wood of our Seas, through the number of their Ships, every Galeon like the Trojan Horse, having armed men in the womb of it, with all sorts of instruments for torture; among some whereof, there were found long Knives, with this scandalous Superscription, To cut the throats of Hereticks, and yet not a damnable Complotter in all this mischief, but must be canonized for a Saint; as if it lay within the [Page 27]compass of his power that sits in the Porphiry-chair to exempt men from the punishment due to those sins, which the Almighty hath ordain'd for such hellish Malefactors; but it is to be hoped, that their Plots, like the form into which they reduced their ships, viz. a Moon crescent, may ever prove a Moon in the wane, and that the feathers of the Roman Eagle may molt away, till it become a ridiculous bird, and become the object and subject of laughter to all her Neighboring Nations.
But the Master-piece of all, was the [...], or Gunpowder Plo [...] [...] [...]mous a nature, that it see [...] [...]er to be (as one of our gowned Gentlemen saith) ‘A piece hammer'd in Hell by a Conclave of Cacodaemons, than [Page 28]traced by humane invention. A sulpherous Mine prepared and fitted with that Artifice, that with one snuff it should have blown up to the Clouds, and made but a squib of that mighty Assembly, with many thousands of innocent souls besides: Englands Sovereign Monarch, with his Royal Consort, and Princely Issue; Root and Rind, Stem and Stock, Bud and Blossom, had all been blasted, and that in a moment.’ Oculi intuitu, in the very twinckling of an eye, and all our stately Fabricks and Structures had bin turn'd into ashes: But before I ent [...] [...] [...]he Relation of this [...] [...]ntended Cruelty, [...] our self (Reader) for trag [...] [...]xpectations, lest the suddenness and impiety of the Fact astonish your [Page 29]Apprehension; and here think of nothing but Graves, Tombs and Epitaphs, Flakes of Fire, Cracks of Thunder, Astma's, and Vesuvio's; for here is a Plot that History is at a non-plus to parallel. O learned Jesuite! Hast thou hammered upon the Forge of thy accursed Brain (for indeed he was the Blacksmith of this diabolical Stratagem) a Cruelty, as horrible as unheard of: not the Raviliac's in France, their own Inquisition, the Machiavils in Italy, the Gowries in Scotland, the Tories or Oneals in Ireland, nor any other vicious or desperate mortal yet found out: 'Tis plain that in this they intended to out-devil the grand Elector of Erebua, if 'twere possible: A cruelty that transcends all Roman story, far beyond that of Catiline, Brutus, [Page 30]or Lucius Scaevola. Presumptuous villains! that dare send souls to Heaven before the Resurrection, and make companions for Elijah in his fiery Chariot. Here might you see these Pioneers digging to Hell for Assistance, when Heaven had denied it them so often, but at length Sennior Satan took compassion of their labor, and helpt them with a destructive invention: Herein 'tis apparent they receiv'd assistance from, and encountered with the greatest head of the hellish Hydra (always except the Pope) fain would they have made our Land like the way of Medea, strewed with the Limbs of her brother Absyrtus; here the arm of a Father, there the leg of a mother; here the limb of one relation, there the joynt of another, his laquens [Page 31]positus est; here the gin was laid, but like silly Woodcocks they were ensnar'd in't themselves.
O rare Saints! what? Turn your Saint Peter into Saltpeter, to destroy us, and all we can lay claim to?
[Page 32]And they were prompted to all their cruelty, inhumanity, and barbarism, by their zeal to Religion:
Sacred Lady, must thou be the Mantle to cover their infandous villany; the Cloak to palliate their stupendious cruelty? Thou that usest to be clad with the armor of light, must thou be made the Authoress of such subterranean darkness? No, no, far be it from a rational person, or solid Christian to entertain a thought so prejudicial and injurious to thy sacred, incontaminated innocency.
But 'tis the general course of these hellish Machiavilians, not to suffer Vice to appear upon the [Page 33]stage in its ugly hew, and native deformity, lest it should deter all persons from it, but they mask or cover it with the vayl of virtue. And farther to shew that the edge of their Satanical invention is not yet blunted, and manifest their choller still against us, they keep near the Fifth of November a Day of Execration, wherein they curse Heretickes, as they term us; in which they approach nearest of any, and resemble most of all the rebellious Jew, that crucified our Saviour; who on the twelfth of August had their time of Execration, wherein they cursed Vespatian, and the Romane Soldiers for demolishing their famous Temple of Jerusalem. Nor is their malice and envy glutted or satisfied with Europian blood, but they must satiate their fury [Page 34]with the Indian too: and though they pretend that their right to both Indies, is right of Discovery, and that they were the first Detectors of it, it is questionable, if not absolutely false; for Pliny the Carthaginian was the first Discoverer of India, by crossing the Equinoctial twice; nor were the West-Indies unknown to Plate: Besides, a greater evidence then the forementioned, that the Spaniards were not the first Discoverers of America, is this, That there was a Welch Epitaph found at their first landing there, upon Madoc a Brittish Prince; who, as 'tis supposed, made an escape to save himself from the fury of the Saxons in England, and put himself in a Barque to the fortune of the Sea, and so landed in America. And 'tis farther confirmed, [Page 35]that the old Brittish or Weclh were there, from the variety of Brittish words retain'd among them in their language even at this very day. But whether they were the first Discoverers or no; it is observ'd, that those vast treasures she transports thence thrive little, by reason of that ocean of human (though savage) blood the Spaniard spilt there; never did any nation phlebotomize an enemy so inhumanely as they did, in so much that it is affirmed by some, (and that groundedly too) that the blood they spilt would over-poise all the gold they ever fetcht from thence, if it were counter-ballanced; and as that vast Treasure was first gained by the effusion of much blood, so hath it been ominous and fatal ever since, & consum'd in blood; [Page 36]for most of the Combustions and Dissentions of the Occidental World have bin fed and fomented by them; nay, which is more prejudicial to it, in point of policy, the King of Spain by these Mines and means, furnisheth the major part of his Enemies with Arms defensive and offensive against him, the least part of the treasure remaining among them; for most of their current Coyn is Copper, so that we may say, according to our English Proverb, Who is worse shod than the Shooemakers wife? In so much that we may compare her (and that very fitly) to the Arcadian Ass; who, though laden with Gold, yet browzeth upon Thistles.
As to their Cruelty in the Indian Conquest, it was so inhuman, that the relation thereof would [Page 37]stagger the belief of a Christian, were there not a general consent among all Historiographers of the hainousness thereof. Such horrible Murthers and Massacres did they commit, that I blush to stain my paper with their relation; for 'tis affirmed by some (and those of no mean credit) that in the space of forty five years, there were above ten millions of souls destroyed in the New World, as they are pleased to call it, besides those great numbers that died by working in the Mines, officiating like Asses, Oxes, and Mules; some of them being loaden with burthens on their back of one hundred and sixty pound weight, carrying them three hundred miles, sometimes more, besides those that perished in the water with fishing for Pearl, in [Page 38]obedience to their insulting commands, being dieted on purpose by them for that work with course Bisket, and dry edible commodities, to make them fit for that work: poor slender fare for such hard and slavish laborers: They scorn'd, it seems, to murther by retail, but Caligula like, their glutton blades must be imbrued in the bowels of a whole Nation. Nay farther, they made a sport and recreation of their inhumanity and barbarism; for they hunted them with dogs, as if they have been beasts of the Game, and not their fellow-creatures; to confirm which, there is a story of an old impotent Indian woman that was sent by a Spaniard, with a Letter to the Governor of the next Town, who, when she was departed [Page 39]about a flight shot off of him, he let slip his dog at her; which she perceiving fell on her knees, and cried out, Sennor, Sennor Dog, (so much Spanish she had) I beseech thee spare me, for I am a going with a Letter from thy Master, to the Governor; the unanimate creature it seems moved with compassion at her words, and suppliant posture, being better exercised in the rules of humanity and mortality than his master, took compassion on her, only lifting up his leg and pissing against her, and so let her depart in peace. Now the Spaniards had rendred themselves so odious to those Indians, by reason of their cruelty, that not one of a noble resolution among them could endure to hear of going to any place that they frequented, although [Page 40]after their dissolution, as may appear by the story of one Hathu Cacico a stout Indian, who being to die, (for his being an Indian was crime enough to merit death, though probably no malefactor) Stat pro ratione voluntas, was their Motto, Their will was their Law; who being perswaded by a Franciscan Fryat, and admonished to turn Cathosique, and embrace the Romish superstition, withal acquainting him with the joys of heaven, and how that he should be transported thither, if he would be converted, or to speak more properly, perverted; whereupon he demanded of the Franciscan whether or no there were any Spaniards in heaven? who replied yes, 'twas peopled with them: then said he, I will choose rather [Page 41]to go to Hell, then to have their company: a notable example of heathen generosity, which might intimate unto them, they could not conquer their spirits, though they massacred their bodies. Nay Attabalipa one of their Pagan Kings being informed, That the Pope had conferr'd his kingdom upon the King of Spain, was heard to utter this as noble, as tart expression, That the Pope must be either an egregious fool, or an uniust Tyrant, that durst have the impudence to take upon him the bestowing of other mens Right and Possessions, so freely and liberally to others, that had no right nor title to them.
Nor were they thus satiated with drinking the savage blood of the Indians, but they must be sucking the blood of the European [Page 42]Christians too; witness the Tyranny of the Duke d'Alva, termed (and not undeservedly) The Spunge of the Belgian Blood; for he made it his boast, and a kinde of sportive recreation to be heard often saying, That he had dispatch't to the other world above eighteen thousand Belgians by Fire, Water, the Rack, the Sword, and the Ax. Nor is it to be found a humour in Subjects onely, but in their Monarchs likewise; witness one of their Kings, who being disturb'd at the divers ill Successes that he had in his Politick Proceedings, swore he would be revenged upon the Superior Power, that hath the conduct and guidance of all mortal Affairs, and therefore commanded that none of his subjects should adore, believe in, or speak [Page 43]of God for so long time, upon pain of his utter displeasure. Impious wretches! that durst combate Omnipotency, or venter upon a single Duel with the Deity. Now as to the Gigantick power of his Catholick Majesty, if it be equally poiz'd in the ballance of a discerning judgement, it comes far short of that height and splendor that is usually attributed to it; for the vast distance of his Territories, the innumerable Debts be hath contracted, (and he is infinitely indebted to the Genoese and others) the universal antipathy that is between them and all Nations in general, by reason of their ambition, pride, and haughtiness, is as great an impediment and debilitating, as his Wealth is a Fortification or Assistance. And as for Justice, [Page 44]the Queen of Virtues, she hath as little power there, as among any people on the surface of the earth, especially for forreiners; for it is as facil a business to draw a soul out of the jaws of Hell, as to recover any thing against them if they grasp it once within their clutches: And if a stranger come to commence a Suit at Law there against a Spaniard, the processal charges will oftentimes surmount the value of the thing, or right you sue for.
As for zeal, and innate valor, where shall you finde it among them? 'tis more rare to see a Duel there, then a Horse in Venice; or to hear of a Spurrier prefer'd to a Queen; though not a Cobler or Smith among them can be seen without a Sword, which they wear for orament, not [Page 45]use: yet if they have receiv'd any abuse or affront, they will be sure to meet in the Market-place, and there draw, pretending to run furiously one at another, because they are sure to be parted e're they make a pass, or can well tell how to mount their weapon; and usually the Minister of Justice (as they call him) deprives them both of their weapons for a time, till he hath wrought a reconciliation. 'Tis true, in the Conquest of the Western World, they did atchieve somewhat, but it was against a naked, inermous enemy, who were destitute of all defensive or offensive weapons; besides, so stupid and ignorant were the poor Americans, that they took Horse and Man to be one Aminal, born contrary to the course of natural production, and [Page 46]begot of some infernal stage; which Bug-bear opinion profligated the Indian, and not the Spanish manhood or valor: where was the Spanish generosity and nobility of spirit, when Goleta near Tunis was shamefully lost by them, and taken by Sinan Bassa, with five hundred Pieces of Ordnance, which hath arm'd Tunis and Algier ever since, and made them such infamous Pyrats? I must confess, were the word of sufficiency to combat with the sword, or could the good conceit they have of their own magnanimity, or the loud (though undeserved) Encomiums they will bestow upon themselves, and their deserts make them men of war, they would subjugate the whole universe, and excel all their Predecessors in military discipline; [Page 47]but words will not gain the field, it must be action.
As for the number of their Learned, I think they have no great quantity; Raymundus Lullius is one of their famous Authors, one that (like a native Spaniard) was very much conceited of his ability in the study of the Philosophers Stone, or Elixir; of whom it may be said, as of all others that follow that whimsie:
How much he was esteemed of, this ensuing Dystich will clearly demonstrate.
There is nothing but air in that vain foolish study, nothing of [Page 48]substance; their glowing fire doth but swell up their hope of gain, till the spirits quite expire, and so their fortunes die: Nor indeed can it be expected, that they should excel in any kind of learning, because they peruse no volumes but their own, penn'd in their own language, and in their University Dissertations, their Vernaculum or Mother tongue carries the greatest sway (which is made up of nothing, but a few shreds of Morisco, and patched up with some old Arabick words) for they seldom, scarce once in an age, dispute in the Roman tongue. And before we leave their learned Rabble, let us have one hit more at their modern Jasons, the Jesuites, those Clergy-men of the Golden-fleece, that devote themselves more to Madam Moneta, [Page 49]then the Lady Loretto, or the blessed Virgin Mary; and if we consider their Tenets in Divinity, we shall finde them as erroneous and diabolical, nay, as diametrically contrary to Reason or Divinity, as their politick, accursed, Machiavilian Plots and Practises. Our English Chronicles makes mention of one Father Garnet a Jesuite, who being interrogated by the Earl of Notingham, whether or no, if any one should confess unto him in the morning, that he had a design to murther the King that very ev'ning, he thought himself bound in conscience to reveal it? he replied in the negative; which infernal doctrine was confirmed by Binetus the Jesuite, in these words: Praestare Reges omnes perire, quam si vel semel Confessionis [Page 50]sigillum violaretur; Regem enim humani juris Imperium ait esse, Confessionem juris divini: In English thus: It were far better that all the Kings in the world should be murthered, than that the Seal of Confession should be violated in the least; for the dignity of a King is indebted to humane authority for its being; but Confession, to Divine Institution. Nay, there was a Jesuit in France who had the impudence to belch this blasphemy in publick, and to maintain, if there were occasion, Si Dominus noster Jesus Christus in terris versaretur morti obnoxius, & aliquis sibi in Confessione dixisset velle se illum occidere, priusquam Confessionem revaleret, passurum se, ut Christus occidatur. O profane! in English thus: If our Lord and our Saviour Jesus [Page 51]Christ were upon the earth, and mortal, and that any one should confess unto him that he had an intention to murther him, he would suffer our Saviour to be slain, rather then disclose it. Right Judas'es, that had rather murther their Master than thwart their own vain traditions, and for phanatick Chymaera's, that never were hatcht hitherto in any but such addle pates as their own; but let them have a care lest that they finde Judas his punishment, since they are so much guilty of his hainous crime. This is a more daring, nefandous piece of wickedness, than that fictitious one of the Gigantomachy; for they do not onely aim at the dethroning of the Deity, but would, were it within the compass of their hellish inventions, be so impious [Page 52]as to murther him. Our most gracious Sovereign of blessed memory, King James, received a seasonable Caveat from his God-mother Queen Elizabeth, to take heed of the Spaniard; who answered her very ingeniously, Se non aliud beneficium ab Hispano expectare, quam quod Ulyssi Polyphemus promiserat, ut aliis devoratis, postremus deglutiretur. That he expected no more favour from the Spaniard, than what Polyphemus promised Ulysses, that all the rest being devoured, it should fall to his share to go last to pot. There is no distinction among them, when animated by rage and fury, Prince and People, King and Kingdom, all go to rack, if it lie in their power. Now 'tis most certain by this Hildebrandine Jesuitical doctrine [Page 53]of their auricular Confession; for they open the Cabinets of Princes, and no persons have such sure and faithful intelligence as they from all parts in Christendom: Besides, there are no Ecclesiasticks that frequent the Court, or Noblemens houses more than they, so that they understand all the Transactions in Church and State in all parts of the Christian world, and thereby are enabled to put themselves in a posture to act their damnable designs; yet, notwithstanding all their sinister and politick practises to support the Crown of Spain, and defend his Holiness, they remain but in a wavering and fluctuating condition; for the late Motus trepidationis in Naples, and that in Sicily, with the total Revolt of the Portugese, [Page 54]and the Catalonian Commotions, and those vast Debts that they have contracted with the Genoese, and several other accidents that might be mentioned, hath so shaken the Spanish Monarchy, that she continues in an anguish condition ever since, and there is very little probability of her resetlement. Decrescit Oliva, the Olive-branches begin to wither and decay; and 'tis very much fear'd by themselves, that she will be found dead at the root ere long, if by a diligent lopping off of her superfluous branches, and the careful management, and ordering of her State-Gardeners, she be not revived, and made to bud and blossom afresh: But undoubtedly she will come to a sad Catastrophe, if the tympany of the Spaniards pride be not asswaged [Page 55]and taken down: Besides the innumerable ill successes that she hath had in all her undertakings, is a sufficient argument to disswade her from ever believing Fortune to be her favorite; she seem'd indeed to be in the poop, and favor King Philip, till he receiv'd a memorable Defeat at Mostagan in Barbary, under the Conduct of Alcaudite a petty inconsiderable Morisco King; and their ill success at Los Gelves near Tripoli, where most of the Christians in the Neopolitan Gallies under the Conduct of Don Alvaro their Chief Commander, were souc'd in Thetis Powdering-tub, and made meat for Sharks and Shaddocks; which was occasioned by the imprudence of their Leaders, when as otherwise they might have come off nobly, with [Page 56]the name of Conquerors. Several others I might mention, but I will not upbraid them too much with their infelicity: onely take this by the way, that when Philip the second rigg'd that numerous Fleet against our Land, with an absolute intent to ruinate us, he was repuls'd by the valor of the English, with so much disparagement to the whole Nation, that he passionately said, He sent his men to fight with men, and not with the Windes and the Sea: nay, one of their holy Conclave, in a Sermon was heard to say publickly, That by this very business, and the frustrating of their design God had manifested himself a Lutheran. 'Tis strange methinks, noble Sennors, that he should fight for the Hereticks against the true Catholicks, as you term your selves! [Page 57]Methinks you might observe the saying of your Emperor Charles the Fifth, (who was of the Austrian family) and have taken his Advice a little more into consideration:
In English thus:
For if you do, you must be arm'd and quilted, and for all that may be basted into the bargain: Be confident Sennor Espannol, if you come to bake in our Oven, your Cake will be dough. There's no kindling your Irons in our fire, unless you meane to be scorch't with them; but methinks you might have so much wit, as to take warning by our English Proverb, The burnt childe dreads the [Page 58]fire; if not, as you like the play of our Brittisn Guns, venter upon another Invasion: we have more Drakes still to send their Fire-ships among you, and send you back to your Confines toss'd and weather-beaten, if any of you be so happy as to escape: well make you know your heart lies in your heels, and flying is your best course; you are like to have no harbor here, a retreat is your safest refuge.
Before the Embassage of the Constable of Castile mediating for peace with us, your prating Jesuite had infected the common people of Spain with a false opinion, that the English were strangely metamorphos'd, some had the faces of Hogs, some did resemble Dogs, and others Munkies, since they forsook the Roman [Page 59]Church; which they poor silly souls did really believe, till the Constable at his return did rectifie his Countrey-men. But conceit them so still; but if they be Dogs, they come all of noble Sires, they are no Mungrels, but such Mastiffs as will bark you out of your wits; and such Munkies they are, that if they make but a face at you, that's enough to scare a whole Legion of you; and if you are so incredulous as not to believe it, try once more, and then judge according to your success. When the Marriage between our late blessed Sovereign of happy memory (though of unhappy fortune) and the Infanta of Spain was in agitation, the Nobility of England that were dieted at the King's Table, and attended by the Spaniards, were [Page 60]not so meanly bred, as to be satisfied with your poor Cates, which made them break out into many scoffing expressions touching the barrenness of Spain, smiling also at the vanity of their superstitious Processions. And Archee the Kings Jester being at Madrid, and admitted one day to see his Catholick Majesty at Dinner, strutted and walk'd up and down, talking and muttering, which the King of Spain perceiving, askt what he said? which an Interpreter there present made answer, He saith that King James his Master did resemble God Almighty most of any King in the world. And he demanding the reason, was answered, Because that God had but one son, and he sent him to be crucified among the Jews, so the King of [Page 61] England had but one son, and he sent him to be crucified among the Spaniards: a notable saying to check them for their accustomed cruelty and barbarism, although in this he prov'd but a foolish, and false Prophet, and to our joy and comfort it fell out quite contrary.
There happened one day a very facetious, quipping passage betwixt King Philip and a Veteran Capitain, that had served him a long time in the Belgian Wars, who being deferr'd by the Councel of State, was resolved to find out his Majesty himself, who was then at the Escurial, and as fortune would have it, hunting; where mounted on his Mule, and meeting the King single in the field, the King began to entertain Discourse with him: first, [Page 62]demanding who he was? The blunt Soldier judging him to be some private Nobleman, related the whole story to him, recounting how that he had served Don Philip many years in the Netherlands, and that now he was come to demand a remuneration: The King answered, Doth Don Philip owe you any thing of your lawful pay? No, said the Capitain: then replied the King, I am clearly of opinion, that he will scarce give you any thing since he hath satisfied you in your arrears, and principally because he is infinitely indebted, and hath many designs to put forward; at which the Capitain broke off abruptly, saying, Pues que me bese la mula en el culo: Then let him, kiss my Mule in the tayl; and so was riding away, but the King call'd [Page 63]him back, and ask'd him what Petition he had made, or what course he had taken for satisfaction? He told him that he had often attended the Councel of State, and War, with his Memorials, but was never the near, nor could he ever procure the sight of his Majesty there, nor elsewhere. Very good, said the King, the Councel sits to morrow, and I shall be there present, for I have an Office there; wherefore if you come I shall procure your entrance, and then you may make your Address to Don Philip in person. The King the very next day did preside himself in Councel, and gave strict order, that if such a person, describing him of such a name, (for that he had learned of him by their Conference) should chance to be at the door, [Page 64]he should be admitted: the Capitain coming, and having enterance, seeing the Councel bare, and knowing this to be the King with whom he had private discourse yesterday, he was not much out of countenance: Immediately Philip ask't him, whether he remembered the discourse that was between them in the field? Yes Sir, replies the Capitain; then, said he, you cannot forget what you said: That if the King would not reward you, he might kiss your Mule in the breech: Sir, replied he, Seno lo dicho, dichio, mi Mula esta debaxo a la puerta: What I said, I said, and Mule stands below at the back gate: The King was not at all disturb'd but gave him his hand to kiss, and caus'd him to be nobly rewarded. He had now quite forgot his [Page 65]usual expression to those that came to request any thing of him, Si a todos los que me piden daria, presto pediria yo: If I should give to every one that puts up a Petition to me, I might soon come to beg my self. Well done Capitain, hug thy blunt Genius, it was that procur'd thy reward, not his bounty; who, though a Monarch, had soon sent thee packing with a curb, hadst thou not gone contrary to the common course of men who with so much submissiveness did use to petition his Majesty; well said down-right: hereafter cry, hang Complements, and swear, Complementum is but complete mentiri.
But now since we are upon so slovingly a subject, let's expatiate upon a story that is somewhat akin to this, which happened at a [Page 66]solemn Convention of his Holiness, his Catholick Majesty, and his most Christian of France, with thousands of the Nobility of both Nations; who being all bare, and the Pope ready to mount, to ride in Procession, one of these Monarchs holding the Stirrop on foot, and the other his Saddle, both uncovered, and kissing his Pantofle. The King of France his Jester spying it, and taking it into consideration, streight endeavours to make through the Croud, crying out aloud, Make room, make room; at which the multitude being astonished, askt him what was the matter? what forc't him to these loud exclamations? O! replied he, I'le be gone to Paris. Why? your reason? O! saith he, if the Pope make so great a Monarch as my Master kiss his [Page 67]Toe, hee'l make me kiss his Breech by and by, therefore I'le be gone. He it should seem was not minded to salute his Apostolick rump; nor did he much fancy the kissing of his Toe, but if he had been compell'd to't, he would have gone near to have shown his Holiness as snappish a trick as the Ambassadors dog did, that almost bit it off: But we'l have no more of these whimsies, lest some Critick or other should say, that this Treatise is fit for nothing but to make cul-paper, that is, ad abstergendum podicem. Methinks I hear 'em cry, fie, fie, therefore I must give o're. And now let's pitch upon some more cleanly subiect, if we can hit on any, sure we shall finde out one at length, and yet it must be of that King Philip before mention'd, who had [Page 68]erected a Pyramis in the Marketplace at Santo Domingo (where our famous Swimmer Drake was, who took and plundred it) whereon was found this Motto:
One world was too narrow to confine the spacious soul of Don Philip.
His capacious and most ample Majesty did sweat again for want of room in this narrow World; yet notwithstanding his proud boasting (but that you know is like a Spaniard) he was overcome by an Army of poor inconsiderable creatures, silly worms; for Herod-like, he perished morbo perdiculari, by the Lowsie disease, which made a modern Poet sing:
Nor was it any other then a manifestation of Divine vengeance from an angry Deity; which some imputed to his base Lasciviousness and Lechery; some gave out it was a Judgement for making away his Son Don Carlos; others affirm'd it to be a Judgement inflicted upon him, for the Duke d'Alva's Tyranny over the Belgians; others, that it was for depriving Portugal of her lawfull Heir. But most men did generally concur in this opinion, That [Page 70]it was a punishment sent from Heaven, for that Ocean of American blood that was spilt by him, to possess themselves with their Mines of Gold and Silver. Oh that sordid Lucre should prompt a man to the effusion of so much blood! when it might have been procured with far more honour and renown to the Conquerors, if otherwise ordered, and they themselves have been free from such a barbarous imputation: but what would you have? or what can you expect otherwise? for according to our English Proverb, They must needs go that the Devil drives; and he doubtless hath been the Hellish Machiavil that hath endoctrinated them in most of their politick Designs; but no doubt he that set them forward, will, give them their due reward. [Page 71]'Tis impossible so much vill any as hath been acted by that Nation, should be for ever unpunished; to think so, were to accuse the Supream Governor of all things, of the highest injustice; but far be it from any man to harbour such a thought. Time will produce much, and then our eyes may see what we are now assured of will happen, unless by an unfeigned repentance, and a deluge of penetential tears, they wash their hands from that deluge of humane blood they have poured out; but it must not be their penance in a coat of hair, or their bare-foot pilgrimages, and affected absteniousness, and such other Superstitious Ceremonies that are used among them; although they be of a contrary opinion. But now a little more of [Page 72]their nature and disposition, and we have done.
The austerity of the Spaniards temper, and the severity and affected arrogancy of their manners, renders them odious to all other Nations, when as an humble, and yet handsom deportment, would make them far more acceptable. They are so addicted to laziness and sloth, that their idleness is grown common, even to a Proverb. Now every Schoolboy that is subject to the lash, can tell them, Otium pestis Reipublicae: Idleness is the moth or canker of the Commonwealth; and if this Caterpiller continue long upon the boughs of the Olive, it will leave it as inconsiderable and mean in the judgement of all the world, as they now would fain induce them to believe it [Page 73]mighty and magnificent. They are the very Harpies of the earth, or like that roaring Lion, pace the circumference of the Globe, seeking whom they may devour; for wheresoever they can once get admission, they cast about by all possible means to ruinate and destroy the inhabitants, using all artifices, and picking quarrels to that end and purpose; So that that Maronian Dystich may very well agree with their practises, which saith:
They are naturally prone to suspect all they have any acquaintance with, how slender soever it be; an argument of a depraved [Page 74]disposition, and corrupt nature; and as proud as Lucifer the apostate Angel: but we know the usual fortune that attends such haughty mindes:
They are exalted and lifted up on high, that their fall may be the greater. They are also infinitely addicted to self-love; then which there is no greater enemy to true friendship which is the bond that ties human society together, and makes man to be what he was born for, [...], a Sociable Creature. They are arrogant to their inferiors, and humble to their Superiors, which argues them to be made up of an ignoble allay, and sprung of a dunghil brood, verifying the old saying:
The Catalaunians are naturally passionate, impatient of labor, and addicted to Theft beyond measure. The Arragonians are factious, mutinous, and subject to rebellion. Those of Andaluzia are of a cruel temper, drunkards; a vice that the Egyptians did so much abhorre, that when they found any of their servants overcome with this Excess, they brought them forth, shewing them to their children, that they might learn in their young years to avoid the Crime in their old age. Now should you see any of them in this swinish condition, you would take him to be an enated sop, that is newly sprung out of a pot of Ale in a frosty [Page 76]morning; which makes them have such red-coated faces, and such fiery noses, that you might try a yong Eagle by their bloody beak; you might soon understand by their complexion what broth they love: 'tis well that they cannot compass a mess of our Ceres water-gruel, for if they could, we should scarce hear of the natural death of one of them once in an Age; for they would all quickly swim to their graves in a drunken fit: besides, they are so avaricious, that they learn Geometry onely to measure the circumference of their houshold bread, that they may know to a haires breadth how much of it is consumed in their absence; and should you chance to be invited to a Collation or Dinner among them you must feed sparingly, or else [Page 77]it may be finde the English Proverb verified, To have roast meat given you, and be beaten with the spit: Not a leg of a Capon that you cut but you ham-string the poor man that invites you, and he had as live see you drink his own blood, as sup up the gravy. And yet this proud imperious fellow will (out of ostentation, if he chance to have a fowl to dinner) strew the feathers at the door, to shew all Passengers that they have had noble fare: but this you must note proceeds from the want of victuals among them. 'Tis the general disposition of them all, to believe what they fancy, more than what they either do, or indeed can really act, and especially of the Portugese; nor will he deny it, Portugalli dictitant se niti eo potius, quod se esse [Page 78]putant, quam eo, quam revera sunt. And yet what are these Portugals? a rude rabble or pack of slaves; for the number of them in some places are very near as great, if not more then the inhabitants; And there are very few places where there is so little distinction among them; for they scarce make any difference between men and beast, and they are both sold in the market at an equal rate, so that they may lawfully be term'd a Crew of Heathens, or Pagans, notwithstanding their pretended zeal to Religion. But that is but a fair pretence to set off their vill any the better, a meer ceremony among them, and indeed so much ceremony, that it hath almost eaten out the substance of Religion, Bible, Alchoran, Talmud, or Golden [Page 79]Legion, all's one; Religion serves but for a meer Stratagem, and their Priests, that were ordained (or at least should be) to exorcise devils, are the greatest fiends, and should, if rightly served, be cast out themselves. But now, as to the foundation of their imagined Grandeza, that they have brought their Government unto, as they imagine: The very form thereof is very unpleasing to a subject, for they had rather rule by fear than love, and where she acquires any of the latter, it is drawn as a thread through the eye of a needle out of the apprehension of fear: it being one of their State-maxims, That Obedience proceeding from such a love, is the surest and safest, in regard that Fear being the greatest and most careful Governess [Page 80]of our passions, sways all the rest with more power and controulment, and keeps them still in subjection, and so consequently makes as good subjects, as it did Gods at first.
Nay farther, the chief and highest Ministers they employ, are so much for their private lucre, and self-interest, (which most commonly proves the destruction of a Kingdom) that it is grown to a Proverb, Some of them gnaw, others eat, and some devour, where they are deputed to signorize and govern. But, now 'tis time to change our subject, and to be a little more milde in their Description and Character.
In this fore-going Discourse [Page 81]you have seen their most hainous Vices, cruel Plots, hellish Designs, and barbarous Enterprizes; as also their imperious Mindes, proud and haughty Spirits, their base Tempers and Dispositions, and their depraved Natures, erroneous Tenets, and wicked Customs; Now that we may not be thought to be altogether made up of spleen and choler, and to have dipt our pen in aqua-fortis, or vinegar, we shall take a short survey of their Virtues, and noble Qualifications, to the end we may demonstrate unto you that they have somewhat among them, which may merit commendation as well as condemnation. And first, the Soyl is healthful, having for a long time a constant serene Ayr, which made the Prince of Greek Poets, and several [Page 82]other Authors place the Elisian fields here; for there are no gross, caligmous vapors rising up from Bogs or Fens, but there are most refreshing, soft Zephyres or Breezes, that pierce the circumambient Air, and enliven both man and beast; nay, Mariners that use to traverse those Seas, can tell when they approach the coasts of Spain by the odoriserous smel of Rosemary, & other Aromatick Vegetals that grow there up and down the common fields, and perfume the Air with their fragrancy: She is not parcht with such excessive heat as Africa, nor shaken with such impetuous windes as France, nor tossed with such earthquakes as Italy, nor nipt and pincht by the benumming thumbs of Winter, as Holland, Swethland, and several [Page 83]other Regions; but enjoys a moderate and temperate Air. Spain abounds with the most generous Wines, and the best Oyls; as also the best Fruits, as Figs, Raisins, Almonds, Orenges, Lemons, and Pomegrannets, and all other kinde of Vegetables, as Herbs, Roots, and Flowers. Besides her bowels are richly furnished with Mettals, as Iron, Steel, Quicksilver, and Gold. She produceth good Silk, Flax, an excellent Wooll, though they are beholding to us for that commodity.
Now for that generous Animal the Horse, she surpasseth all Countreys; for their Cordovan Gjnnets excel those of Turkey for fierceness; those of Barbary for their light feet, or nimble heels, as we term it; and those of Italy in comliness of proportion. Her [Page 84]stately Fabricks, Structures, and Cities, are as numerous as stately; which occasioned the Proverb, Quien no ha visto Sevilla, non ha visto Maravilla: Quien no ha visto Lisboa?, no ha visto cosa boa. He that ne're saw Sevil, ne're saw a miracle; and he that ne're saw Lisbon, ne're saw any thing that was rare; but the cadency of the words in the Spanish, is far more harmonious than in the English Dialect. To prove which, I need mention but one, and that is the Monastery of St. Laurence, near the Escurial, which for matter and form is not to be parallel'd. Claudian breaks out into an Elogium of her, which concludes thus:
The patience of the Spaniard is commendable; their valor notable; their fidelity very signal, which was the reason that Julius Caesar us'd to have a Guard of them, and Augustus a Band of Biscayners or Cantabrians about him. In their Military discipline they are admirable, very strict and severe, and obedient to their Commanders; as may appear by that Spanish Centinel, who was found dead in the morning in a tower upon the Cittadel of Antwerp, with his musket in his hand, in a defensive posture, & standing on his legs upright, like one that was alive and in health to their seeming, yet all frozen. Besides, they are infinitely carefull of their National Honor, and very industrious to promote it. For their Discoveries of other Countreys, [Page 86]they have had great success, and rendred themselves famous thereby. And though they have received vast heaps of gold and silver from the Americans, in requital whereof, that they might not be altogether ingrateful, they received Christianity, and we [...]e civiliz'd by them, when as before the Savages did resemble bruit beasts more than rational men.
It was the Spanish Navigation that first confuted that erroneous opinion, that there were no such persons in esse, as the Antipodes; when as be ore there was a Bishop imprison'd at Rome, for verifying this now uncontrovertible Tenet, which is understood almost by every plebeian. The Friars in the West, and the Jesuites in the East-Indies first [Page 87]planted Christian Religion, and cultivated those parts, and made a fruitful vineyard of them, baptising them in the Laver of regeneration; nay, it is credibly reported, that one single Franciscan Frier did christen 400000 of them. And though the Proverb hath it, Espania las Armas, Italia lapluma. Spain is more for the pike, then the pen, yet they have produc'd some famous lights of the Church, as Fulgentius, Isiodore, Paulus Orosius, Justinian, and others, and some Rabbies, though of different sect, yet may they have a place in the Catalogue of learned men, as Rabbi David Chimcho, Rabbi Abenezra, and Rabbi Mases, and more that might be mention'd.
Now for eminent Doctors in the Civil Law, she hath brought up [Page 88]no small number, as Alvarus Valascus Goveaneus, that is confest, and approv'd of for the best, and truest interpreter that ever commented upon Justinian, Calixtus the third, and Pinellus.
As for Physick she hath produc'd many that have bin very eminent, as Garcias ab Horto, Averroes of Cordova, Christopher a Vega, Avicenna of Sevil, &c.
Nor hath she bin destitute of Philosophers, witness Seneca who transcended, and surpass't all his Predecessors and Posterity hitherto in precepts of morality, & many more that might be mention'd. She hath flourisht with store of Poets that deserv'd the Bays, as Silius, Italicus, Lucan, and several others that might be specified.
Seneca the Rhetorician was an [Page 89]off-spring of their own, who was famous for his tenacious memory and several famous Historians, as well as Orators, Justinus the great, Trogus Pomperus, Ludovicus Vives, Pomponius Mela Martial Columella, and Fabius Quintilianus. All which, have added very much to the Republick of Literature, and bin famous for their several works now extant: And that you may not think Learning to be a qualification that men are onely adorned withall, you shall find it shine in the contrary sex, for they can boast of one Aloysia Sigea, a famous female, Pallas Alcera, a second Minerva, who was excellently vers'd in five several languages, and those that are the radices of all others, as Latine, Greek, Hebrew, Syriack, and Chaldaick: [Page 90]and some of the epistles that Paul the third wrote to this Toledo virgin, are extent to this very day. That her confines extend incredible, wil appear by this, that there are but 360 d in the Zodiack, and Portugal herself is thought to take up 200. Now it must necessarily follow, that her policy & prudence in governing so many squandred kingdoms, & so great a number of inhabitants, of several humours, constitutions and tempers, must needs be great. The King of Spain may imperare, but the miracle is, how he makes them parere; 'tis not so great a wonder that he governs them, as that he makes themobey, when as we all know that the vulgar are very apt to be rebellious, and raise a mutiny in one single countrey, and yet he makes multitudes of people, and those of several [Page 91]countreys, bow to his Scepter. And as she is famous for her Government and Policy, she is also eminent for the number of Princes that she hath brought forth, & bestow'd upon other Naations, as well as those that have sway'd the Spanish Scepter; and first she produced Ferdinand of Arragon, who first founded the Spanish Monarchy, by matching with Donna Isabella, queen of Castile, and Philip the II. who was tearm'd Philip the Prudent, by a Parlament in Spain, & afterwards solemnly confirm'd by a Consistory at Rome: Besides, she hath brought forth Princes to other nations, as Theodosius the I. & the first Emperor noted for Morality and Virtue, who rebuilt and raised up the tottering Roman Monarchy: And Trajan the Emperor, [Page 92]who had as great a share of Piety, as Augustus had of Felicity; as also the Emperor Hadrian, and Ferdinand the First, who was an Infant of Spain; a Prince, who for all Virtues and Qualifications suitable to, and necessary for one of his dignity, came short of none of his Predecessors.
To conclude, and draw to a period: The Spaniard is very much to be commended for his Policy, Prudence, and deliberate Consultations, for his Patience, Gravity, and admirable Choler; his noble, and liberal Disposition; his Valor, Magnanimity, Constancy, and height of Spirit: As for Spain her self, she may be term'd The Exchequer of Christendom, and the Nurse of stout Champions, who exceeds in Men and Mines, and Arts as well as [Page 93]Arms. Her Kings are the longest arm'd Monarchs in the world, who have as many Kingdoms as some have Provinces; as many Fleets, as some have Ships; as many Viceroys, as some Marshals; and as many Capitains by Sea and Land, as others have private Soldiers. Fortune her self may be call'd the King of Spains Wife, who hath brought with her such vast Treasures for her Dowry. And thus having given you a taste of her Vices and Vertues, Power and Weakness, Perfection and Imperfection, I lay down my Quill, being come to my Ne ultra.
Books to be sold by Nath Brook at the Angel in Cornhil.
1. THe Accomplisht Cook, the Mystery of the whole Art of Cookery revealed in a more easie and perfect Method then hath been publisht in any Language; expert and ready ways for the dressing of Flesh, Fowl and Fish, the raising of Pastes, the best directions for all manner of Kickshaws, and the most poinant Sauces, with the terms of Carving and Sewing, &c. By Robert May, in the time of his attendance on several persons of Honor.
2. J. Cleaveland Revived: Poems, Orations, Epistles, and other of his Genuine Incomparable Pieces: A second Impression with many Additions.
3. The Exquisite Letters of [Page]Master Robert Loveday, the late admired Translator of the Volumes of the famed Romance Cleopatra, for the perpetuaring his memory: publisht by his dear Brother, Mr. A. L.
4. Englands Worthies: Select Lives of the most Eminent Persons, from Constantine the Great to the death of O. Cromwel late Protector: By W. Winstanley Gent. An excellent Piece.
5. The Scales of Commerce and Trade: the Mystery revealed as to Traffick with a Debitor or Creditor, for Merchants Accompts after the Italian way, and easiest Method; As also a Treatise of Architecture, and a Computation as to all the Charges of Building: By T. Wilsford Gent.
6. William Clowes his Chyrurgical Observations for those that [Page]are burned with flames of Gunpowder; as also for the curing of wounds, and of the Lues venerea.
7. Moor's Arithmetick, the second Edition much refined, and diligently cleared from the former mistakes of the Press. A Work containing the whole Art of Arithmetick, as well in Numbers as Species. Likewise,
8. Exercitatio Elleiptica Nova: Or, a new Mathematical Contemplation on the Oval Figure, called an Elleipsis; together with the two first Books of Midorgius his Conicks Analiz'd, and made so plain, that the Doctrine of Conical Sections may be easily understood; a Work much desired, and never before publisht in the English tongue: By Jonas Moor, late of Durham.