¶ A mery play betwene Iohan Iohan the husbande / Tyb his wyfe / & syr Ihān the preest.
¶ Iohan Iohan the husbande.
¶ God spede you maysters euerychone
Wo [...]e ye not whyther my wyfe is gone
I pray god the dyuell take her
For all that I do I can not make her
But she wyll go a goddynge very myche
Lyke an Anthony pyg with an olde wyche
Whiche fedeth her about hyther and thyther
But by our lady I wote not whyther
But by gogg{is} blod / were she come home
Vnto this my house / by our sady of crome
I wolde bete her or that I drynke
Bete her qd a? yea that she shall stynke
And at euery stroke say her on the grounde
And trayne her by the here about the house rounde
I am euyn mad that I bete her not nowe
But I shall rewarde her hardly well ynowe
There is neuer a wyfe betwene heuen and hell
Whiche was euer beten halfe so well
¶ Beten qd a? yea but what and she therof dye
Than I may chaunce to be hanged shortly
And whan I haue beten her tyll she smoke
And gyuen her many a. [...]. stroke
Thynke ye that she wyll amende yet
Nay by our lady the deuyll spede whyt
Therfore I wyll not bete her at all
¶ And shall I not bete her / no shall
[...]
And kepeth not her house▪ as her duetie i [...]
Shall I not bete her if she do so
[...] by cokk{is} blood that shall I do
I shall bete her and [...]w [...] her I trow
That she shall beshyte the house [...]o [...] very wo
¶ But yet I thynk what my neybour wyll say than
He wyll say thus / whom chydest y• Iohan Iohan
Mary wyll I say / I chyde my curst wyfe
The veryest drab that euer bare lyfe
Whiche doth nothyng but go and come
And I can not make her kepe her at home
Than I thynke he wyll say by and̄ by
Wa [...]e her cote Iohan Iohan / and bete her hardely
But than vnto hym myn answere shalbe
The more I bete her the worse is she
And wors and wors make her I shall
¶ He wyll say than / bete her not at all
And why shall I say / this wolde be wyst
Is she not myne to chastice as I [...]yst
¶ But this is another poynt / worst of all
The fo [...]{is} wyll mocke me / whan they here me brall
But for all that shall I set therfore
To chastyce my wyfe euer the more
And to make her at home for to tary
Is not that welldone / yes by saynt mary
That is a poynt of an honest man
For to bete his wyfe well nowe and than
¶ Therfore I shall bete her / haue ye no drede
And I ought to bete her tyll she be starke dede
And why? by god bicause it is my pleasure
And if I shulde suffre her / I make you sure
Nought shuld̄e {pre}uayle me / nother staffe nor waster
Within a whyle she wolde be my mayster
¶ Therfore I shall bete her by cokkes mother
Both on the tone syde and on the tother
Before and behynde / nought shall be her bote
From the top of the heed / to the sole of the fote
¶ But masters for godd{is} sake do not entrete
For her / whan that she shalbe bete
But for godd{is} passion set me alone
And I shall thwak her that she shall grone
Wherfore I beseche you and hartely you pray
And I beseche you say me not nay
But that I may beate her for this ones
And I shall beate her by cokkes bones
That she shall stynke lyke a pole kat
But yet by gogg{is} body that nede nat
For she wyll stynke without any betyng
For euery nyght ones she gyueth me an hetyng
From her issueth suche a stynkyng smoke
That the sauour therof almost doth me choke
But I shall bete her nowe without fayle
I shall bete her toppe and tayle
Heed / shulders / armes / legges / and all
I shall bete her I trowe that I shall
And by gogg{is} boddy I tell you trewe
I shall bete her tyll she be blacke and blewe
¶ But where the dyuell trowe ye she is gon
I holde a noble she is with syr Iohan
I fere I am begyled alway
But yet in fayth I hope well nay
Yet I almost enrage that I ne can
Se the behauour of our gentylwoman
And yet I thynke thyther as she doth go
Many an honest wyfe goth thyther also
For to make some pastyme and sporte
But than my wyfe so ofte doth thyther resorte
That I fere she wyll make me weare a fether
But yet I nede not for to fere nether
For he is her gossyp that is he
¶ But abyde a whyle yet let me se
Where the dyuell hath our gyssypry begon
My wyfe had neuer chylde doughter nor son
¶ Nowe if I forbede her that she go no more
Yet wyll she go as she dyd before
Dress wyll she chuse some other place
And then the matter is in as yll case
¶ But in fayth all these wordes be in wast
For I thynke the matter is done and past
And whan she cometh home she wyll begyn to chyde
But she shall haue her payment styk by her syde
For I shall order her for all her brawsyng
That she shall repent to go a catter wawlyng
Tyb
¶ Why whom wyst thou beate I say thou knaue
Ihān
¶ Who I Tyb / none so god me saue
Tyb.
¶ ye [...] I harde the say thou woldest one bete
Ihān.
¶ Mary wyfe it was stokfysshe in temmes strete
[Page]Whiche wyll be good meate agaynst sent
Why tyb what hadd̄est yu thought yt I had ment
Tyb.
¶ Mary me thought I harde the bawlyng
Wy [...] thou neuer leue this wawlyng
Nowe the dyuell dost thou thy selfe behaue
Shall we euer haue this worke thou knaue
Ihān.
¶ What wyfe / howe sayst yu. was it well gest of me
That thou woldest be come home in safete
Assone as I had kendled a fyre
Come warme the swete tyb I the requyre
Tyb.
¶ O Iohan Iohan, I am afrayd by this lyght
That I shalbe sore syk this nyght
Ihān.
¶ By cokk{is} soule / nowe I dare say a swan
That she comes nowe streyght fro syr Iohan
For euer whan she hath fatched of hym a lyk
Than she comes home / and sayth she is syk
Tyb.
¶ what sayst thou.
I.
Mary I say
It is mete for a woman to go play
Abrode in the towne for an houre or two
Tyb.
¶ well gentylman / go to go to
Ihān.
¶ well let [...]o haue no more debate
Tyb.
¶ If he do not fyght / chyde / and rate
Brause and fa [...]e / as one that were frantyke
There is nothyng that may hym lyke
Ihān.
¶ If that the parysshe preest syr Iohan
Dyd not se her nowe and than
And gyue her absolution vpon a bed
For wo and payne / she wolde sone be deed
Tyb.
¶ For godd{is} sake Ihān Iohan / do the not displease
Many atyme I am yll at ease
what thynkest nowe / am not I somwhat syk
Ihān.
¶ Nowe wolde to god and swete saynt Dyryk
That thou warte in the water vp to the throte
Or in a burnyng ouen red hote
To se and I wolde puff the out
Tyb.
¶ Nowe Iohan Iohan / to put the out of dout
Imagyn thou where that I was
Before I came home.
I.
My p [...]ase
Thou wast prayenge in the churche of poules
Vpon thy knees for all chrysten soules
Tyb.
¶ Nay.
I.
¶ Than if thou wast not so holy
Shewe me where thou wast / and make no lye
Tyb.
¶ Truely Iohan Iohan we made a pye
I and my gossyp Margery
[Page]And our gossyp the preest syr Iohan
And my neybours yongest doughter An
The preest payde for the stuffe and the makyng
And Margery she payde for the bakyng
Ihān.
¶ By kokk{is} sylly wound{is} that same is she
That is the most bawde hens to Couentre
Tyb.
¶ What say you.
I.
¶ Mary answere me to this
Is not syr Iohan a good man / yes that he is
Ihān.
¶ H [...] Tyb / if I shulde not greue the
I haue somwhat wherof I wolde meue the
Tyb.
[...] Well husbande / nowe I do coniect
That thou hast me somwhat in suspect
But by my soule / I neuer go to syr Iohan
But I fynde hym lyke an holy man
For eyther he is sayenge his deuotion
Or els he is goynge in {pre}cessyon
Ihān.
¶ Yea rounde about the bed doth he go
you two to gether and no mo
And for to fynysshe the {pre}cessyon
He lepeth vp and thou lyest downe
Tyb.
¶ What sayst thou.
I.
Mary I say he doth well
For so ought a shepherde to do / as I harde tell
For the saluation of all his folde
Tyb.
¶ Iohan Iohan. What is it that thou wolde
tyb.
¶ By my soule I loue the too too
And I shall tell the or I further go
The pye that was made / I haue it nowe here
And therwith I trust we shall make good chere
Ihān.
¶ By kokk{is} body that is very happy
tyb.
¶ But wotest who gaue it.
I.
What ye dyuel rek I
tyb.
¶ By my fayth and I shall say trewe than
The dyuell take me and it were not syr Iohan
Ihān.
¶ O holde the peas wyfe / and swere no more
But I beshrewe both your hartes therfore
Tyb.
¶ Yet {per}aduenture thou hast suspection
Of that that was neuer thought nor done
Tusshe wyfe / set all suche matters be
I loue the well though thou loue not me
But this pye doth nowe catche harme
Let vs set it vpon the harth to worme
tyb.
¶ Than let vs eate it as fast as we can
But bycause syr Iohan is so honest a man
I wolde that he shulde therof eate his part
Tyb.
¶ That were reason I the ensure
Ihān.
¶ Than syns that it is thy pleasure
[Page]I pray the [...]
And pray hym come sup with vs to ny [...]
Ihān.
¶ Shall [...]e [...] hyther by kokk{is} soule I was a curst
Whan that I graunted to that worde furst
But syns I haue [...]ard it I dare not say nay
For than my wyfe and I shulde make a fray
But whan he is come. I swere by godd{is} mother
I wold gyue the dyuell y• [...]o [...] to carry away y• tother.
Tyb.
¶ What sayst.
Io.
¶ Mary be [...]s my curate I say
My confessour and my frende alway
Therfore go thou and seke firm by and by
And tyll thou come agayne I wyll [...]pe the pye
Tyb.
¶ Shall I go for hym? nay I shrewe [...] than
Go thou and seke as fast as thou can
And tell hym it.
I.
¶ Shall I do so
In fayth it is not mete for me to go
Tyb.
¶ But thou shalte go tell hym for all that
Ihān.
¶ Than shall I tell hym wotest what
That thou desyrest hym to come make some chere
Tyb.
¶ Nay that thou desyrest hym to come sup here
Ihān.
¶ Nay by the rode wyfe / y• shal [...] haue the worshyp
And the thankes of thy geft that is thy gossyp
Tyb.
¶ Full ofte I se my hushande wyll me [...]ate
For this hether commyng of our gentyll cu [...]ate
Ihān.
¶ what sayst Tyb let me here that agayne
Tyb.
¶ Mary I perceyue very playne
That thou hast syr Iohan somwhat insuspect
But by my soule as far as I coniect
He is vertuouse and full of charyte
Ihān.
¶ In fayth all the towne knoweth better that he
Is a hore monger / a haunter of the [...]ewes
An ypocrite / a knaue / that all men refuse
A lyer / a wretche / a maker of stryfe
Better than they knowe that thou art my good wyfe
Tyb.
¶ What is that that thou hast sayde
Ihān.
¶ Mary I wolde haue the table set and layde
In this place or that I care not whether
Tyb.
¶ Than go to brynge the trestels hyther
Ihān.
¶ Abyde a whyle / let me put of my gown
But yet I am afrayde to lay it down
For I fere it shalbe sone stolen
And yet it may lye safe ynough vnstolen
It may lye well here and I lyst
But by cokk{is} soule here hath a dogge pyst
[Page]And if I shulde lay it on the harth bare
It myght hap to be burned or I were ware
Therfore I pray you take ye the payne
To kepe my gowne tyll I come agayne
Ihān.
¶ But yet he shall not haue it by my say
He is so nere the dore he myght run away
But bycause that ye be trusty and sure
Ye shall kepe it and it be your pleasure
And because it is arayde at the skyrt
Whyle ye do nothyng skrape of the dyrt
Tyb.
¶ Lo nowe am I redy to go to syr Iohan
And byd hym come as fast as he can
Ihān.
¶ We do so without ony taryeng
But I say harke / thou hast forgot one thyng
Set vp the table / and that by and by
Nowe go thy ways
I.
¶ I go shortly
But se your candesstykk [...] be not out of the way
Tyb.
¶ Come agayne and lay the table I lay
What me thynk{is} ye haue sone d [...]n
Ihān.
¶ Nowe I pray god that his malediction
Lyght on my wyfe / and on the baulde preest
Tyb.
¶ Nowe go thy ways and hye the [...] seest
Ihān.
¶ I pray to Christ / if my wyshe be no synne
That ye preest may breke his neck whan he comes in
Tyb.
¶ Now cū agayn.
I.
What a myschefe wylt y• fole
tyb.
¶ Mary I say brynge hether yerder s [...]ole
Ihān.
¶ Nowe go to / a lyttell wolde make me
For to say thus / a vengaunce take the
tyb.
¶ Nowe go to hym and tell hym playn
That tyll thou brynge hym / yu wylt not come agayn
Ihān.
¶ This pye doth borne here as it doth stande
tyb.
¶ Go washe me these two cuppes in my hande
Ihān.
¶ I go with a myschyefe lyght on thy face
tyb.
¶ Go and byd hym hye hym a pace
And the whyle I shall all thynges amende
Ihān.
¶ This pye burneth here at this ende
Vnderstandest thou.
T.
¶ Go thy ways I say
Ihān.
¶ I wyll go nowe as fast as I may
tyb.
¶ Now come ones agayne / I had forgot
Loke and there be ony ale in the pot
Ihān.
¶ Nowe a vengaunce and a very myschyefe
Lyght on the pylde prcest / and on my wyfe
On the pot / the ale / and on the table
The candyll / the pye / and all the table
[Page]On the trystels and on the s [...]ole
[...] as moche ado to please a curst fole
Tyb.
¶ Go thy ways nowe and tary no more
For I am a hundred very sore
Ihān.
¶ Mary I go.
¶ T.
but come ones agayne yet
Brynge hyther that breade lest I forget it
Ihān.
¶ I wys it were tyme for to torne
The pye for ywrs it doth borne
Tyb.
¶ Lorde howe my husbande nowe doth patter
And of the pye styl doth clatter
Go nowe and byd hym come away
I haue byd the an hundred tymes to day
Ihān.
¶ I wyll not gyue a strawe I tell you playne
If that the pye ware colde agayne
Tyb.
¶ What art thou not gone yet out of this place
I had went thou haddest ben come agayne in y• space
But by cokk{is} soule and I shulde do the ryght
I shulde breke thy knaues beed to nyght
Ihān.
¶ Nor than if my wyfe be set a chydyng
It is tyme for me to go at her byddyng
There is a prouerbe / whiche trewe nowe preueth
He must nedes go that the dyuell dryueth
¶ Now mayster curate may I come in
At your chamber dore without ony syn
¶ Syr Iohan the preest.
¶ Who is there nowe that wolde haue me
What Iohan Iohan / what newes with the
Ihān.
¶ Mary syr to tell you shortly
My wyfe and I pray you hartely
And eke desyre you with all our myght
That ye wolde come and sup with vs to nyght
syr. I.
¶ Ye must pardon me / in fayth I ne can
Ihān.
¶ Yes I desyre you good syr Iohan
Take payne this ones / and yet at the lest
If ye wyll do nought at my request
Yet do somwhat for the loue of my wyfe
syr. I.
¶ I wyll not go for makyng of fity [...]e
But I shall tell the what thou shalte do
Thou shalt tary and sup with me or thou go
Ihān.
¶ Wyll ye not go than / why so
I pray you tell me / is there any dysdayne
Or ony enmyte betwene you twayne
syr. I.
¶ In fayth to tell the betwene the and me
She is as wyfe a woman as any may be
[Page]I know it well / for I haue had the charge
Of her soule / and serchyd her conscyens at large
I neuer knew her / but honest and wyse
Without any yuyll / or any vyce
Saue one faut / I know in her no more
And because I rebuke her / now and then therfore
She is angre with me / and hath me in hate
And yet that that I do / I do it for your welth
Ihān.
¶ Now god yeld it yow / god master curate
And as ye do / so send you your helth
Ywys I am bound to you a plesure
syr. I.
¶ Yet thou thynkyst amys peraduenture
That of her body she shuld not be a good woman
But I shall tell the what I haue done Iohan
For that matter / she and I be somtyme aloft
And I do lye vppon her / many a tyme and oft
To proue her / yet could I neuer espy
That euer any / dyd wors with her than I
Ihān.
¶ Syr that is the [...]est care I haue of nyne
Thankyd be god / and your good doctryne
But yf it please you / tell me the matter
And the debate betwene you and her
syr. I.
¶ I shall tell the / but thou must kepe secret
Ihān.
¶ As for that syr / I shall not let
syr. I.
¶ I shall tell the now / the matter playn
She is angry with me / and hath me in dysdayn
Because that I / do her oft intyce
To do some penaunce / after myne aduyse
Because she / wyll neuer leue her wrawsyng
But alway with the / she is chydyng and brawlyng
And therfore I knowe / she hatyth me presens
Ihān.
¶ Nay in good feyth / sauyng your reuerens
syr. I.
¶ I know very well she hath me in hate
Ihān.
¶ Nay / I dare swere for her master curate
Out was I not a very knaue
I thought surely / so god me saue
That he had louyd my wyfe / for to dyseyue me
And now he quytyth hym self / and here I se
He doth as much / as he may for his lyfe
To stynk the debate / betwene me and my wyfe
syr. I.
¶ If euer she dyd or though me any yll
Now I forgyue her with me fre wyll
Therfore Iohan Iohan / now get the home
And thank thy wyfe / and say I wyll not come
Ihān.
[Page]¶ yet let me know now good syr Iohan
Where ye wyll go to supper than
syr. I.
¶ I care not greatly / and I tell the
On saterday last / I and .ii. or thre
Of my frendes made an appoyntement
And agaynst this nyght we dyd assent
That in a place we wolde sup together
And one of them sayd he wold brynge thether
Ale and bread / and for my parte I
Sayd that I wolde gyue them a pye
And there I gaue them money for the makynge
And an other sayd she wolde pay for the bakyng
And so we purpose to make good chere
For to dryue away care and thought
Ihān.
¶ Than I pray you syr tell me here
whyther shulde all this geare be brought
syr. I.
¶ By my fayth and I shulde not lye
It shulde be delyuered to thy wyfe the pye
Ihān.
¶ By god it is at my house standyng by the fyre
syr. I.
¶ Who bespake that pye / I the requyre
Ihān.
¶ By my [...]yth and I shall not lye
It was my wyfe and her gossyp Margerye
And your good masshyp called syr Iohan
And my neybours yongest doughter An
Your masshyp payde for the stuffe and makyng
And Margery she payde for the bakyng
syr. I.
¶ If thou wylte haue me nowe / in faithe I wyll go
Ihān.
¶ Ye mary I beseche your massbyp do so
My wyfe taryeth for none but vs twayne
She thynketh longe or I come agayne
syr. I.
¶ Well nowe if she chyde me in thy presens
I wylbe content and take in pacyens
Ihān.
¶ By cokk{is} soule and she ones chyde
Or frowne / or soure / or loke asyde
I shall brynge you a staffe as myche as I may heue
Than bete her and spare not / I gyue you good leue
To chastyce her for her shreude [...]arpeng
Tyb.
¶ The deuyll take the for thy longe taryeng
Here is not a whyt of water by my gowne
To washe our hand{is} / that we myght syt downe
Go and hye the as fast as a snayle
And with fayre water fyll me this payle
Ihān.
¶ I thanke our lorde of his good grace
That I can not rest longe in a place
Tyb.
[Page]¶ Go fetche water I say at a worde
For it is tyme the pye were on the borde
And go with a vengeance / & say thou art prayde
syr. I.
¶ A good gossyp / is that well sayde
Tyb.
¶ Welcome myn owne swete harte
We shall make some chere or we departe
Ihān.
¶ Cokk{is} soule / loke howe he approcheth here
Vnto my wyfe / this abateth my chere
syr. I.
¶ By god I wolde ye had harde the tryfyls
The toys / the mokkes / the fables / and the nyfyls
That I made thy husbāde to beleue and thynke
Thou myghtest as well in to the erthe synke
As thou coudest forbeare laughyng any whyle
Tyb.
¶ I pray the let me here parte of that wyle
syr. I.
¶ Mary I shall tell the as fast as I can
But [...]s no more / yonder cometh thy good man
Ihān.
¶ Cokk{is} soule what haue we here
As far as I sawe / he drewe very nere
Vnto my wyfe.
T.
What art come so sone
Gyue vs water to wasshe nowe / haue done
¶ Than he bryngeth the payle empty
Ihān.
¶ By kockes soule it was euen nowe full to ye brynk
But it was out agayne or I coude thynke
Wherof I marueled by god almyght
And than I loked betwene me and the lyght
And I spyed a clyfte / bothe large and wyde
To wyfe / here it is on the [...]one syde
tyb.
¶ why dost not st [...]p it.
I.
¶ why howe shall I do it
tyb.
¶ Take a ly [...]e wax.
I.
¶ Howe shal I come to it
syr. I.
¶ Mary here be .ii. wax candyls I say
whiche my gossyp margery gaue me yesterday
Tyb.
¶ Tussht let hym alone / for by the rode
It is pyte to helpe hym or do hym good
syr. I.
¶ what Ihān Ihān / canst thou make no shyfte
Take this waxe and stop ther with the clyfte
Ihān.
¶ This waxe is as harde as any wyre
Tyb.
¶ Thou must chafe it a l;ytle at the fyre
Ihān.
¶ She y• broughte the these waxe candelles twayne
She is a good companyon certayn
Tyb.
¶ what was it not my gossyp margery
syr. I.
¶ Yes she is a blessed woman surely
tyb.
¶ Nowe wolde god I were as good as she
For she is vertuous and full of charyte
Ihān.
¶ Nowe so god helpe me / and by my holydome
[Page]She is the erranst baud betwene this and Rome
Tyb.
¶ What sayst.
I.
¶ Mary I chafe the wax
And I chafe it so hard that my fyngers krakk{is}
But take vp this py / that I here [...]
And it stand long [...]r [...] wyll borne
Tyb.
¶ [...] but thou must chefe the wax I say
Ihān.
¶ Byd hym syt down I the pray
Syt down good syr Iohan I you requyre
Tyb.
¶ Go I say and chafe the wax by the fyre
Whyle that we sup / syr Ihān and I
Ihān.
¶ And how now / what wyll ye do with the py
Shall I not ete therof / a morsell
Tyb.
¶ Go and chafe the wax, whyle thou art well
And let vs haue no more pratyng thus
s [...]r. I.
¶ Benedi [...].
I.
¶ Do [...]s.
Tyb.
¶ Now go chafe the wax with a myschyfe
Ihān.
¶ What I come to blysse the bord swete wyfe
It is my custome now and than
Mych good do it you / master syr Ihān
Tyb.
¶ To chafe the wax and here no longer tary
Ihān.
¶ And is not this a very purgatory
To se folk{is} ete / and may not ete a byt
By kokk{is} soule / I am a very w [...]k
This payle here / nowe vengaunce take it
Now my wyfe gyueth me a proud mok
Tyb.
¶ what dost.
I.
¶ Mary I chafe the wax here
And I ymagyn / to make you good chere
That a vengaunce take you / both as ye syt
For I know well / I shall not ete a byt
But yet in feyth / yf I myght ete one morsell
I wold thynk the matter went very well
syr. I.
¶ Gossyp Ihān Ihān / now mych good do it you
What chere make you / there by the fyre
Ihān.
¶ Master {per}son / I thank yow now
I fare well mow / after myne own desyre
syr. I.
¶ What dost Ihān Ihān / I the requyre
Ihān.
¶ I chafe the wax here by the fyre
Tyb.
¶ Here in good drynk / and here is a good py
syr. I.
¶ We f [...]r? very well / thankyd be our lady
Tyb.
¶ Loke how the kokold chafyth the wax that is hard
And for his lyfe / daryth not loke hetherward
syr. I.
¶ What doth my gossyp.
I.
¶ I chafe the wax
And I chafe it so hard / that my fyngers krakk{is}
And eke the smoke / puttyth out my eyes two
[Page]I hu [...]he my face / and ray my clothye also
And yet I dare nat say one word
And they syt laughyng / yender at the bord
Tyb.
¶ Now by my trouth / it is a prety [...]ape
For a wyfe / to make her husband her ape
Loke of Ihān Ihān / which maketh hard shyft
To chafe the wax / to stop therwith the clyft
Ihān.
¶ Ye that a vengeaunce / take ye both two
Both hym and the / and the and hym also
And that ye may choke / with the same mete
At the furst mursell / that ye do ete
Tyb.
¶ Of what thyng now dost thou clatter
Ihān Ihān / or wherof dost thou patter
Ihān.
¶ I chafe the wax / and make hard shyft
To stop her with / of the payll the ryftt
syr. I.
¶ So must he do Ihān Ihān / by my father kyn
That is bound of wedlok in the yoke
Ihān.
¶ Loke how the py [...]d preest crammyth in
That wold to god / he myght therwith choke
Tyb.
¶ Now master {per}son / pleasyth your goodnes
To tell vs some tale / of myrth or sadnes
For our pastyme / in way of communycacyon
syr. I.
¶ I am content to do it / for our recreacyon
And of .iii. myracles I shall to you say
Ihān.
¶ What / must I chafe the wax all day
And stond here / rostyng by the fyre
syr. I.
¶ Thou must do somwhat at thy wyues desyre
¶ I know a man which weddyd had a wyfe
As fayre a woman / as euer bare lyfe
And within a senyght after / ryght sone
He went [...]e and se / and left her alone
And taryed there / about a .vii. yere
And as he cam home ward / he had a heuy chere
For it was told hym / that she was in heuen
But when that he comen home agayn was
He found his wyfe / and with her chyldren seuen
Whiche she had had / in the mene space
Yet had she not had / so many by thre
Yf she had not had the help of me
Is not this a myracle / yf euer were any
That this good wyfe / shuld haue chyldren so many
Here in this town / whyle her husband shuld be
Beyand the se / in a farre contre
Ihān.
¶ Now in good foth / this is a wonderous myracle
[Page]But for your labour I wolde that your ta [...]le
Were in a sh [...]d [...]g water well s [...]d
Tyb.
¶ Peace I say▪ thou sette [...] the worde of god
syr. I.
¶ Another myracle eke I shall you say
Of a woman whiche that many a day
Did [...] wedded and in all that season
She and no chylde / no [...]her doughter nor son
Wherfore to saynt Modwin she went on pilg [...]image
And offered there a sy [...] pyg▪ as [...]s the vsage
Of the wyn [...]s that in London dwell
And to [...] the vertue therof truly to tell
Within a moneth after ryght shortly
She was delyuered of a chylde as moche as I
How say you is not this myracle wonderous
Ihān.
¶ Yes in good foth [...] it is maruelous
But surely after myn opynyes
That chylde was nother doughter nor son
For certaynly and I be not begylde
She was delyuered of a knaue chylde
Tyb.
¶ Peas I say for godd{is} passyon
Thou [...]e [...]est syr Iohans co [...]u [...]ation
syr. I.
¶ The thyrde myracle also is this
I knewe another woman eke▪ wys
Whiche was wedded &; within .v. monthis after
She was delyuered of a fayre doughter
As well formed in euery membre & ioynt
And as {per}fyte in euery poynt
As though she had gone .v. monthis full to thende
Lo here is .v. monthis of aduantage
Ihān.
¶ A wonderous myracle so god me mende
I wolde eche wyfe that is bounde in maryage
And that is wedded here within this place
Myght haue as quicke spede in euery suche case
Tyb.
¶ forsoth syr Iohan, yet for all that
I haue sene the day that pus my cat
Hath had in a yere kyttyns eyghtene
Ihān.
¶ Ye tyb my wyfe / and that haue I sene
But howe say you syr Ihān / was it good your pye
The dyuell the morsell / that therof eate I
By the good lorde this is a pyteous warke
But nowe I se well the olde prouerbe is treu
The paryshe preest forgetteth yt euer he was clarke
But syr Ihān doth not remembre you
Now I was your clerke / & holpe you masse to syng
[Page]And hysde the hasyn alway at the offryng
Ye neuer had halfe so good a clothe as I
But not withstankyng all this nowe out pye
Is eaten vp / there is not lefte a byt
And you two together there do syt
Eatynge and drynkynge at your owne desire
And I am Iohan Ihān / which must stōde by ye fyre
Chafyng the wax / and dare none other wyse do
syr. I.
¶ And shall we alway syt here styll we two
y• were to mych.
T.
¶ then ryse we out of this place
syr. I.
¶ And kys me than in the stede of grace
And fare well [...]eman and my loue so dere
Ihān.
¶ Cokk{is} body this waxe it waxte colde agayn here
But what shall I anone go to bed
And eate nothyng nother meate nor brede
I haue not be wont to haue suche for?
Tyb.
¶ Why were ye not serued there as ye ore
Chafyng the waxe / standyng by the fyre
Ihān.
¶ Why what mete gaue ye me / I you requyre
syr. I.
¶ wast thou not serued / I pray the hertely
Both with the brede / the ale / and the pye
Ihān.
¶ No syr I had none of that fare.
Tyb.
¶ why were ye not serued there as ye ore
Standyng by the fyre chafyng the waxe
Ihān.
¶ Lo here be many tryfyls and knakk{is}
By kokk{is} soule they wene I am other [...]
Tyb.
¶ And had ye no meate Iohan Iohan no [...] [...]
Ihān.
¶ No tyb my wyfe / I had not a whyt
Tyb.
¶ what not a morsell.
I.
No not one byt
For honger I trowe I shall fall in a [...]wne
syr. I.
¶ O that were pyte / I swere by my crowne
Tyb.
¶ But is it trewe.
I.
Ye for a surete
Tyb.
¶ Dost thou ly.
I.
No so mo [...]e I [...].
Tyb.
¶ Hast thou had nothyng.
I.
No not a byt
Tyb.
¶ Hast thou not dronke.
I.
No not a whyt
Tyb.
¶ where wast thou.
I.
By the fyre I dyd s [...]ande
Tyb.
¶ what dydyst.
I.
I chafed this waxe in my hande
where as I knewe of wedded men the payne
That they haue / and yet dare not complayne
For the smoke / put out my eyes two
I burned my face / and rayde my clothes also
Mendyng the payle / whiche to so rotten and olde
That it wyll not skant together holde
And syth it is so / and syns that yet wayn
[Page]Wold gyue me no meate / for my suffysaunce
By kok{is} soule I wyll take no lenger payn
Ye shall do all your self / With a very vengaunce
For me and take thou there thy payle now
And yf thou canst mend it let me se how
Tyb.
¶ A horson knaue hast thou brok my payll
Thou shall repent / by kok{is} sylly nayll
Rech me my dystaf / or my clyppyng shery [...]
I shall make the blood conne about his e [...]ys
Ihān.
¶ Nay stand styll drab / I say and come no n [...]re
For by kokk{is} blood / yf thou come here
Or yf thou onys styr / toward this place
I shall throw this shouyll full of colye in thy face
Tyb.
¶ Ye horson dryuyll / get the out of my dore
Ihān.
¶ Nay get thy out of my house / thou pres{is} bore
syr. I.
¶ Thou lyest horson kokold / euyn to thy face
Ihān.
¶ And thou lyest pyld preest / withh an euyll grace
Tyb.
¶ And y• lyest.
I.
¶ & y• lyest▪
syr.
¶ & y• lyest agayn
Ihān.
¶ By kokk{is} soule horson preest / thou shall be slayn
Thou hast eate our pye / and gyue me nought
By kokkes blod it shalbe full derely bought
Tyb.
¶ At hym syr Iohan / or els god gyue the sorow
Ihān.
¶ & haue at your hore & these / saynt gro [...]ge to bo [...]
¶ Here they fyght by the [...]rys a whyle & than
the preest and the wyfe go out of the place.
Ihān.
¶ A sy [...]s I haue payd some of them euen as I lyst
They haue borne / many a blow with my fyst
I thank god / I haue walkyd them well
And dryuen them hens / but yet can ye tell
Whether they be go / for by god I fere me
That they be gon together he and she
Vnto his chamber / and perhappes she wyll
Spyte of my hart / tary there styll
And peraduenture / there he and she
Wyll make me cokold / euyn to anger me
And then had I a pyg / in the [...]oy [...]s pany [...]
Therfore by god / I wyll hye me thy d [...]
To se yf they do me any v [...]l [...]y
And thus face well this noble company.
¶ Fins.
¶ Impryntyd by Wyllyam Rastell / the .xii. day of February the yere of our lord .M.ccccc. and .xxxiii.
¶ Cum priuilegio.
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