A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE EXCELLENT VERTUES OF THAT Sober and wholesome Drink, CALLED COFFEE, AND ITS INCOMPARABLE EFFECTS IN PREVENTING or CURING MOST DISEASES INCIDENT TO HUMANE BODIES.
—Florescat Arabica Planta.
THE DESARTS OF ARABIA.
WHen the sweet Poison of the Treacherous Grape,
Had Acted on the world a General Rape;
Drowning our very Reason and our Souls
In such deep Seas of large o'reflowing Bowls,
That New Philosophers Swore they could feel
The Earth to Stagger, as her Sons did Reel:
When Foggy Ale, leavying up mighty Trains
Of muddy Vapours, had besieg'd our Brains;
And Drink, Rebellion, and Religion too,
Made Men so Mad, they knew not what to do;
Then Heaven in Pity, to Effect our Cure,
And stop the Ragings of that Calenture,
First sent amongst us this
All-healing-Berry,
At once to make us both
Sober and
Merry.
Arabian Coffee, a Rich Cordial
To Purse and Person Beneficial,
Which of so many Vertues doth partake,
Its Country's called
Felix for its sake.
From the Rich Chambers of the Rising Sun,
Where
[...], and all good Fashions
[...] beg
[...]n,
Where Earth with Choicest Rarities is blest,
And dying
Phoenix builds Her wondrous Nest:
COFFEE arrives, that Grave and wholesome Liquor,
That heals the Stomack, makes the Genius quicker,
Relieve, the Memory, Revives the Sad,
And chears the Spirits, without making Mad;
For being of a Cleansing QUALITY,
By NATURE warm, Attenuating and Dry,
Its constant Use the sullenest Griefs will Rout,
Removes the Dropsie, gives ease to the Gout,
And soon dispatcheth wheresoever it finds
Scorbutick Humours, Hypochondriack winds,
Rheums, Ptisicks, Palsies, Jaundise, Coughs, Catarrhs,
And whatsoe're with Nature leavyeth Warrs;
It helps Digestion, want of Appetite,
And quickly sets Consumptive Bodies Right;
A Friendly Entercourse it doth Maintain,
Between the Heart, the Liver, and the Brain,
Natures three chiefest VVheels, whose Jars we know,
Threaten the whole Microcosme with overthrow;
In Spring, when Peccant Humours Encrease most,
And Summer, when the Appetite is lost,
In Autumn, when Raw Fruits Diseases Breed,
And VVinter time too cold to Purge or Bleed;
Do but this Rare
ARABIAN Cordial Use,
And thou may'st all the Doctors Slops Refuse.
Hush then, dull QUACKS, your Mountebanking cease,
COFFEE's a speedier Cure for each Disease;
How great its Vertues are, we hence may think,
The VVorlds third Part makes it their common Drink;
The Amourous Gallant, whose hot Reins do fail,
Stung by Conjunction with the Dragons-Tail:
Let him but Tipple here, shall find his Grief
Discharg'd, without the Sweting-Tubs Relief;
Nor have the LADIES Reason to Complain,
As fumbling Doe-littles are apt to Faign;
COFFEE's no Foe to their obliging Trade,
By it Men rather are more Active made;
'Tis stronger Drink, and base adulterate VVine,
Enfeebles Vigour, and makes Nature Pine;
Loaden with which, th' Impotent Sott is Led
Like a Sowc'd Hogshead to a Misses Bed;
But this Rare Settle-Brain prevents those Harms,
Conquers Old Sherry, and brisk Clarret Charms.
Sack, I defie thee with an open Throat,
VVhilst Trusty COFFEE is my Antedote;
Methinks I hear Poets Repent th'have been,
So long Idolaters to that sparkling Queen;
For well they may perceive 'tis on Her score
APOLLO keeps them all so Cursed Poor;
Let them avoid Her tempting Charms, and then
VVe hope to see the VVits grow Aldermen;
In Brieif, all you who Healths Rich Treasures Prize,
And Court not Ruby Noses, or blear'd Eyes,
But own Sobriety to be your Drift,
And Love at once good Company and Thrist;
To VVine no more make VVit and Coyn a Trophy,
But come each Night and Frollique here in Coffee.
The RULES and ORDERS of the COFFEE-HOUSE.
Enter Sirs freely, But first if you please,
Peruse our Civil-Orders, which are these.
FIrst, Gentry, Tradesmen, all are welcome hither,
And may without Affront sit down Together:
Pre-eminence of Place, none here should Mind,
But take the next fit Seat that he can find:
Nor need any, if Finer Persons come,
Rise up for to assigne to them his Room;
To limit Mens Expence, we think not fair,
But let him forfeit Twelve-pence that shall Swear:
He that shall any Quarrel here begin,
Shall give each Man a Dish t' Atone the Sin;
And so shall He, whose Complements extend
So far to drink in COFFEE to his Friend;
Let Noise of loud Disputes be quite forborn,
No Maudlin Lovers here in Corners Mourn,
But all be Brisk, and Talk, but not too much
On Sacred things, Let none presume to touch,
Nor Profane Scripture, or sawcily wrong
Affairs of State with an Irreverent Tongue:
Let Mirth be Innocent, and each Man see,
That all his Jests without Reflection be;
To keep the House more Quiet, and from Blame,
VVe Banish hence Cards, Dice, and every Game:
Nor can allow of VVagers, that Exceed
Five shillings, which oft-times much Trouble Breed;
Let all that's lost, or forfeited, be spent
In such Good Liquor as the House doth Vent,
And Customers endeavour to their Powers,
For to observe still seasonable Howers.
Lastly, Let each Man what he calls for Pay,
And so you're welcome to come every Day.