Impossibilities, OR,
A matter of nothing, yet some thing youle finde
I know in the reading, will pleasure your minde,
Then heare it I pray, and when you have done,
You'le say that the thread is handsomely spunne.
To the tune of,
I sigh, I sob, &c.
IMprimis, When men doe beginne,
To follow vertue, leaue off sinne:
When women thinke it no disdaine,
To doe indéede the very same,
Then you may say, and justly too,
The old world now is turned a-new.
When Newgate is a place for Nuns,
And through Cheapside a riuer runs,
When Charing-Crosse has such a face,
To iustle Pauls out of her place:
Then you may say; and not till then,
The world is full of honest men.
When wood doth hew into the sea,
And coaches doe the horses draw:
When darknesse doth out-shine the light,
And Snailes surpasse the arrowes flight:
Then you may say, &c.
When Lucipher an Angell turnes,
And when in hell no fire burnes:
When stars as thicke as haile doe fall,
And new Bride well no hospitall:
Then you may say, &c.
When men are proned to such good will,
That they to no one doe no ill:
When ships doe saile on rocks of stone,
And when the Whale has nere a bone:
Then you may say, &c.
When what is worst doth turne to best,
When Crabs with Swallows build their nest:
And when Musicians scornes to vse,
Such crotchets as they should refuse,
Then you may say, &c.
When morning dew doth fall at night,
And men lift crutches with a slight:
When little children yet vnborne,
Doe say that many weares the horne:
Then you may say, and not till then,
The world is full of honest men.
When Westminster doth eastward stand,
And touches neither sea nor land:
And when therein you cannot see,
A Lawyer that will take his fée,
Then you may say, and justly too,
The old world now is turned a-new.
When Vsurers will gratis lend,
And euery one their liues doe mend:
When the Moore has washt him cleane,
and Turnbull stréet has nere a queane:
Then you may say, &c.
When Hens tread Cocks, & Cocks tread Géese,
And ganders kitten like cats and mise:
When as the earth doth beare no Moles,
And little Foxes haue no holes:
Then you may say, ctc.
When oyle and water doe agrée,
And deadly foes attoned will bee:
When Smithfield is a field of grasse,
And when the Oxe doth ride the Asse.
Then you may say, &c.
When Sorcerers doe leaue their charme,
When spiders doe the fly no harme:
And when the Black-bird leaues to sing,
And likewise Serpents for to sting:
Then you may say, &c.
The second part
to the same tune.
WWhen men their chiefest care doe make,
To féed the poore for pitties sake:
And when tradesmen doe apply,
To doe as they would be done by:
Then you may say, and not till then,
The world is full of honest men.
When Letchers they doe leaue their lust,
And doe those things are good and iust:
When Harlots doe Susanna's proue,
And none but husbands dearely loue,
Then you may say, &c.
When the blasphemer leaues to sweare,
And vnto goodnesse doth repaire:
When old men doe incounter youth,
And lyers speake the very truth,
Then you may say, &c.
When louers they doe constant proue,
And neuer daine for to remoue:
When little vailies top tall hills,
And bad men leaue their wonted ills:
Then may you say, &c.
When rich men doe estéeme the poore,
And feast 'em till they cry no more:
And when the stréets you may passe frée,
And yet not scarce a begger sée:
Then you may say, &c.
When seruants doe their Masters sway,
And blinde men lead the ready way:
When dumb men talke with eloquence,
And lame men run with eminence:
Then you may say, &c.
When Gunpowder doth leaue his force,
And euery Pharoah féeles remorse:
And when no sessions néeds to be,
Because all men loues honestie:
Then you may say, &c.
When all the prisons here about,
Haue iustled all their prisoners out:
Because indéede they haue no cause,
To kéepe 'em in by common lawes:
Then you may say, &c.
When birds in waters déepe doe lie,
And fishes in the aire doe flie:
When water burnes and fire doth fréeze,
And oysters grow as fruits on trees:
Then you may say, and justly too,
The old world now is turned a-new.
When as the spruce and courtiour too,
Shall bid to complements a dew:
When little Bées shall castles beare,
And flie so with 'em through the ayre:
Then you may say, &c.
When as
Zacheus shall restore,
His ill got goods vnto the poore:
And when the Camell shall espy,
A way to passe the nedles eye:
Then you may say, &c.
When snow falls blacke, and crowes be white,
And all things that are wrong turne right:
When silly lambs doe causes plead,
And weare long gownes of melted lead:
Then you may say, &c.
When Turkes doe leaue their Mahomet,
And all day long in churches set:
When Pagans doe beléeue in God,
And likewise feare his direfull rod:
Then you may say, &c.
When men with pearle do fatten hogs,
And coward déere doe menace dogs:
When men on sands their séeds doe sow,
And peare trées they doe downward grow:
Then you may say, &c.
When
Phoebus spreads his beames by night,
And
Cynthia doth by day giue light:
When God in mercy is resolued,
That this same world shall be dissolued:
Then you may say, and justly too,
The old world now is turned a-new.
E. F.
FINIS.
London Printed for Edward Wright, dwelling at Christs-Church gate.