THE WELCH-MANS Postures: OR, The true manner how her doe exercise her Souldiers in her owne Country.
Together with some other new-found experiments, and pretty extravagants fitting for all Christian podies to caknow.
THough her love not to remember Kenton Battaile, not how the bullets slew about her cares like Bees, nor how her lost her left arme▪ and did afterward with her right arme and hand write her Welsh Almanack, yet that her may give good instructions to all her loving Country-men how to defend her selfe in Warlike Disciplines, and learne to keep her crownes uncrackt, and come off with awle her lives and limbes, her will now show her the way how to order and handle her Musquets, Guns and Pikes, according to her Welsh manners and her owne experiences.
First her desire all her Countrey-men to ca-know her must not be drunk not reele, but stand bolt upright as her stakes do in hee [Page] hedges or fields, no her doe not meane fields, but her mean files. And moreover her must stand right in her rankes and pedigrees, that is Pouldron to Pouldron, or Noddle to Noddle, or Iobber-nole to Iobber-nole, and keepe her rankes close, if her smell not too strong [...] that is, her must stand by her Countrey-mans shoulder, and must stand by her side, be it right or wrong close to her. And then her must remember to teach her wife and all her children not to talke or breake her pates to keep silence, and her must remember that silence is best when her is taught, as for publishing and speaking her minde in bid English, and therefore let her be sure alwayes to keepe silly-sence in her mouth waking or s [...]eeping, and let her tell all her stories and long tales and write Almanacks and this her present worke in silly-sence.
And moreover if her pick her Country-mans pocket at a fayre, [...]et her doe it to her right hand, or dive in her Country-womans placket, let her doe it to her right hand, and if her toast her sheese by the fire side let her doe it to her right hand, or if draw he [...] [...]eat sword five yards long, and her Tagger, let her hold both in her right hand valiantly, and that will make her in her next posture as if her were Saint George: but if her enemy come too fast upon her in a furious manner, let her [...]unne away as her were▪ not halfe so valiant as her were thought to be; but if her doe fall to discourse of her pedigree, let her brag as her were in Wales, and as her were King Arthurs owne couzen, and as her were ancient Gentle-man of Pig-house, or as her were descended from a hog-house, and let her alwayes commend her selfe as her were better then ever her was. Now her meaning in these words (as her were) is this, that her must ever turne the cat in the par [...], and speake and doe contrary to all trueths and verities, for if her have never a penny in her purse her must talke and do [...]nmince [...]s as her were a great She [...]tleman, and kaine and bastinado her young [...]ouldiers, if her have never looke her enemy in the face, her must talke as if her were as valiant as her Countrey-man Pendragon, her must speake as her were true, honest, valiant, faithful and loving to all her Countrey-men, though her meant no such matter.
First her will shew H [...]r Postures for her Gun.
Her Postures for her Pike.
Then breake her pike, and run away with her other peice and sweare her did breake in her enemies bellies: If her pike be hole then retreat with her pikes.
And never be beaten back with her pikes, but when [...]er see her owne blood.
Fling away her pikes and take her he [...]s; for her can tel, that at such times, one payre of heels is worth two paire of h [...]: And Qui non dissimulare n [...] est vivere, that is, he that cannot [...]l how to d [...]ssemble, and double his files, must not live in this round age.
ANd further for her Gun, let her as soone as her hath presence and given fire let her fall off, and never come up again to her first Rankes, but leave all the wings and fly away with her own wings ty'd to her heeles, as her have heard that her cozen Mercury hath, for after her Gun hath once [...] bullets, let her give over least her fall into [...]owring, and make her owne selfe b [...] shit her owneselfe for feare, without command or authoritie [...] In her marches, let her alwaies keep a good distance from the enemy, at least a mile, or a mile and a halfe, for her love not her enemy, so well to come neare her; but if her must come in h [...] sight let her make her Gun shit bullets in her face, or else keep her [...]st with her long pole, or staffe with a pike at the end; a [...] now her will shew her how to performe her exercises and [...] of pikes another way.
Advance and hold her p [...]kes or hop-poles, as her doe h [...] Welch [...]ookes, or as her hold her pikes in pushing against [...] country mens packes, and coun [...]y wo [...]a [...]s pellies, and let h [...] boldly, holding her in her true hand, if her have any. Order [...] pikes though her doe not order her selfe, and let her keepe he [...] selfe and her pikes alwaies within her owne borders of Wal [...] and never stir a soote to these Battayles, and then her shall o [...] der her pikes in good fashion.
Shoulder her pikes, and let her lye on her shoulder as he [...] Welch hooke [...]oe [...], halfe before and halfe behind; but her had [...] ther car [...]y any thing on her shoulders to her Country Mark then shoulder the pikes, her had rather eate her Welch sho [...] ders of Mutton or sheepes armes at home, rather than [...]avail [...] the warres to shoulder her pikes and be beaten backe and shoulders; as her was at Coven [...]y, and at other places let her cha [...] her pikes that they would prove more valiant than her selfe, [...] when her meetes with her country-women her pikes put her charge when her come to pu [...]h a pike with her, yet her had [...] ther [...]un her pikes in her country podies bellies, and so co [...] off valiantly▪
Trayle and draw her pikes after her, as a Tortase or a gr [...] Snake doth her long tayles, but her shall hang and draw he, [...] fore her shall get her to draw or traile any more pikes after h [...] and so draw her into danger of the Redcoats, and have [...] [Page] Coxcombe cut, and her owne plud drawne which her cannot abide to see.
Keepe her pike next to her cheeke, and let her checke keep her colours, or if her checke doe not keepe it, let her nose keepe and [...]eare her [...]lours in the middest of her face and march for most. And these are some of her waies and fashions how to use her Armes, her Gun, her roapes end or matches, and her pikes, against back or pelly, but as for using her leggs, all true Bri [...]taines, and all her country men can doe that out of her owne magnani [...]ities and vallours, and can run away without any directions, for at such times one pare of legges is better than two pare of hands, to bring her into her owne country, and bid farewell a [...]mes and bullet-shiting Guns.
The Welch-mans new-found experiences.
HAng a dog in a Crab [...]tree and her will never love Varges afterwards.
If the head of a Foxe or of a Wolfe be hanged in a Dove-house, neither Pole-cats, Weezels nor any thing that will either hurt the pigeons or suck their eggs will enter therein; Probatum est▪
A combe made of the right horne of a Ram, doth take away the head-ach being applyed on the right side of the head, if tho pained head be combed therewith: If the paine be on the left side of the head, then a combe made of the left horne of a Ram doth take it away, if it be rightly combed therewith.
If any souldier be in fear of his life, in so much that her is afraid [...]o beshit her breeches; eate but one knot of the Root called Mullen; or else the rine of a Pome-granard; and it will bind her fast behind.
The juyce of Broom mixt with the oyle of Radish or of mustard-seed, is a very safe remedy for the killing and destroying of a souldiers enemies, his back-biter; called an English Moabite, with a list down her back like a Roane-horse.
New cheese wrapt or folded in the dry leaves of the hearbe called Dragon, preserves the same from being mouldy, or from [...]ennesse; Probatum est, as her did at Edge-hill.
Whosoever will preserve her podies from violent danger, le [...] her keep her safe from going to Wars at Edge-hill; and whosoever would live long, let her keepe her selfe from wine and Women; Probatum est.
IT is truly reported that many men who travaile toward [...] the Holy Land, and into Arabia the Desart have beene transformed into beasts, and such like creatures; only a Country-man of hers, who would needs goe see fashions, as other pilgrims did▪ did only cary some good Welsh cheese which did preserve him from being transformed, such vertue hath good cheese over those foule fiends in that Countrey.
Hang a roasted dog in a dove-house (as her do in Wales) and al [...] the Pigeons in the whole County will resort thither; and the [...] take them, and kill them, roast some, bake some, and stew some▪ and boyle the rest: Probatum est.
An excelent approved thing to make a sat body slender & light; First her goe [...]nd enter her selfe a voluntary souldier, where her shall be [...] same to lye hard and fare hard; if that will not performe the worke; then Secondly let her strive & be file leader, or be placed in the front of the Army or Battaile; Especially if there be an enemie in opposition to her & if her be not shot with a bullet after two or three fireings, or else loose an arme or a legg, he hath Cuckolds luck; but if her be hit and lose her arme or her left leg, as her did at Kenton battle, her will warrant her, her shall grow slender and have a thin body, and be far lighter then ever her was before.
And to advance this worke forwards, let her eate but two cloves of garlick in a morning, and then nothing till noone but an ounce of Welsh cheese toasted, and an ounce of Rye bread, and a little faire water; If this do not performe the thing; I will for ever suffer in good mens opinions; but her do know it to be true; Probatum est.
And so her have done with these her known and tryed experiences and will cease till her set out her skills in physick, and in all the other seaven liberall sciences; vale du humah.