WHen it shalbe wisely considered, that we, of this most re­verend City, are become so notorious for asserting, and (in dismal wise) wrestling for that deare liberty which our Ancestors (as they say) left us; and for defence of which, we have had the honor to see (amongst other learned pates) the pericranium of honest Legislative-Iohn so perturbed, and his more costly vitalls dangerously hazarded: and that we are at length mounted to the uppermost round of the ladder, to enjoy and entaile which pre­ferment with a succeeding plenitude of that inestimable Jewell hight as aforesaid. We cannot but agree it most necessary to re­commend to the next Election for preservation thereof, a most worshipfull person (amidst many others we might also propose) whose modesty we believe is such, that he will not allow himself to be named amongst the thousands of Israel. We shall there­fore take the boldness to hang him forth in effigie, with an inscrip­tion of his perfections, sufficient (no doubt) to endeare him to the well-affected, and by which also you may (without spectacles) discover his Worships face.

Be it therfore known unto, and understood by all manner of [Page 2] Brethren and Sisters, that the person intended was a very fine and hopefull Gent. certainly, when in his minority he thought it not inconsistent with his greatness (his Father being born before him) to humble himself that he might be exalted, by giving his pretty assistance to the grand Solemnities done in those innocent dayes to his politike mother the place of his nativity: Daigning there­fore to ride or be carried (the termes in this case are convertible) in ludo spectaculo, where yet the There are no o­ther words to be found in Rider for a Pageant. Reader ought to be admonished, that our yon­kers garb and countenance for the time being was so apposite, and every little circumstance so contrived by the Taylor and the Poet, as if it had been purposed for his glory. With what honor and acclamations our stripling came off when the show was done, some Readers may be presu­med to remember better. However, with half an eye, might be seen hereby, that our Lad was a spark of metall.

Well, Time (as saith a modern Poet) that doth all things, that makes botches Pox, and plodding on doth make a Calf an Oxe, makes our Wight at length a Souldier; Durante quo, to tell you by what exquisite hand his Buff Coat and red Breeches (not forgetting his Feather) were fashioned, and the price, were most injuriously to detain the Reader: It may suffice, that the Bark of this Cinamon tree was more worth then his body. There­fore instead of a Chorus, be pleased we pray to suppose our Captain (for such he now is) equipp'd as aforesaid on his march (like Iehu) to a most horrible, terrible, bloudy battel, to be pitcht far in the West, we wot not where.

But by the way, to give some signal testimony of his Chivalry, and of the great hopes his friends and followers might erect up­on so infant atchievements, a lucky occasion offered it self, as shall in time be told: It fell out that upon a Tuesday, about six weeks after Kersmas, when the Gun-powder Papists were (without doubt) at their prophane devotion, our Captain, as having no regard thereof, or indeed the fear of himself before his eyes; but being seduced by reading those wicked books of Chivalry voluntarily (although without a Squire) and like a second Don-Quixot, exposed himself to be most lamentably blind-folded with a Hempen or Flaxen Napkin, at the discretion of two [Page 3] sage Damsels clad in white, and being immediately armed C­àpe, with a dreadful weapon in his hands eclipped a Flayl [...], did most furiously encounter, assault, skirmish with, charge, and re­charge the valiant Chanticleere, all this while sneaking or lurking in a hole, and not daring to shew more then his fearful Head and comb to this no less valiant Foe, whom yet at length our Captain (maugre all this [...]eight) in single combat, and un­daunted, made to breath out his last; whence all upon the place concluded, that this Fleshing would (if his Spirit took not rust) make him (in time) prove most terrible, as indeed it appeared by the many slain afterwards upon the place by his single valour, the story whereof (if any such were) has been already commu­nicated to the world in a Chronicle called Mercurius Civicus: And that the same Spirit of destruction, both of men, women, and children, remains still in him, is so notorious, that at his Dinners and Suppers he breaths out nothing but slaughters.

Well, home we bring him now (and so you must suppose him) laden with Pig honor and renown, where after some competent time exhausted in bleating his own said atchievements, he again humbles himself, and betakes to the old What lack you? where we ought to leave him for a while. By this time you are chari­tably to believe, that by the zeal and noyse of his best affected Neighbours (joyned to his worships no little uncouth stickling in the affair) the several parcels, in time, amount (according to London measure) to an Alderman: But because an Ald. and a worshipful Justice are necessary concomitants, we forbear to tell you that he was such.

These acquisitions and additions render him furious with a witness, and now he layes about him more like a Mad-man then formerly, and on both sides, without aim, deals his blows, and who would think it? For though he never had the benefit of his Clergy, yet it must be allowed good, that, as before his Sword, so now the word shall justifie these slaughters. By this time 'tis not safe to say why so? All's Gospel we hold forth, and who dare us oppose shall find the might by which we rule and raign hath power to send the sawey contradicting prater (no matter for his sense or truth) to lye by th' heels, full 70. miles (far en­ough) hence, where eighteen moneths are spent, by Tom Tell-troth the Delinquent, in coyning Petitions, with variety [Page 4] of choice Titles to this piece of Supremacy for pardon, that at length (in good time) his Honors ears are bored, he humbles now himself, and let's the Prisoner out, who as willing­ly returns, as if he had never tasted a Grape brought from Canaan.

Our Capt. is erst a Colonel, and in a happy hour (be it spoken) had a Call to be of the late Contenvion, where for his time he struts, you may imagine how, and danceth gracefuly, to the Tune of Preferment, studying to keep Time and his standing; but not knowing, or forgetting that the best way to rise is to lye down in a Bed of Humility; his Brethren ere long (conscious to them­selves of a sufficient unfitness to govern) resigned their, and his greatness into the hands whence they derivce it.

And now we bring him home again (yet a Justice) full sad and pensive (as if Planet-strucken) at the loss of his late bor­rowed Plumes: But being returned to the place whence he came, and finding that his malevolent Stars were not (for which he has since persecuted the Astrologers) so true to him, as to give him warning of the danger attending his late mistaken compliance with the ill-affected, and at that time too, being without any Revelations or Visions, his only work was to retrieve (if possible) the favour so unhappily lost, and to obtain for himself once more to sit upon the Cushions of the Elect. To which purpose we must allow, that no part of Machiavel (within his capacity) was le [...]t unread, unpractised: But when it was found that all his mimical cringing and Courtship more chargeable put upon the Royal Issue, amounted not to the gaining for his Ho­norable Worship a finger-room at the Helm, he betakes to new resolutions, viz. to act the very Great Turk himself in little, that was, to transubstantiate his petty Principality (although of no certain Tenure) into an Eu [...]opian Republique, to be guber­nated by such thirsty Lawes, as must needs render him to posteri­ty famous, for the only Promulger, and (according to the new Dialect) the most exquisite iH [...]ter and Holder forth of Monkish obsoleted abstinence, and a nice Reformer of indifferencies. And now as saith another reverend Author, Shall dunghil dogs con­front the Helicon? Or shall his act want Chronicles, then Pistol lay thy head in Furies Lap.

In the first place (his Throne being erected in no ignoble part of his dominions, yet) finding that his beard was not like to con­tract [Page 5] profit enough for both Iustice and Clerk (to whom he allowes they say 10. l. yearly salary, and takes accompt of the profits) with a rabble of Rascals in red scarlet, and most dirty Night-caps that now attend his Train, and buzz about his worship with equal devotion to a sort of filthy Flyes that are observed to do homage to a Cow­turd: The sad portent of this dismal and offended Comet had an immediate and direful influence upon all the Red, Green, and Blue La­tices, nay to the very black pots and Cans within his Territories; and his zeal (hot as a burning Pestle) is daily and prodigiously exhau­sted to the demolition, and to tall extirpation (root and branch) of all the non-confiding (to advance the practise of the Saintish) Tapsters of both Sexes, with all their wives, children, and relations, unhappily inhabiting within the reach of his Talons, many of which wretches are before this time either begging at others doors, or re­lieveable by the slender charity of their several Parishes, on whom his Almightiness, wisdome and Law too, has so great an influence, that an easie judgment may guess their misery, when they are accounted by our Justice no less worthy of destruction then Bel and the Dra­gon, and the great Whore, to whom all Nations bow down and worship, and therefore fit, very wonderfully piously fit, to be swept out by this B [...]som of Reformation; this Physick, and disease of the place.

To tell the severall executions of this sort, which his Worship is renowned for, the several houses shut up, and L. have mercy written on their doors, by reason of this pestilence, were an Herculean task, hic labor, &c. the stones at his threshold having long groaned with the persecuted Petitioners tedious and frequent attendance on this righteous Judge, to no other purpose then to be undone, seem to be more mollifiable and malleable then his obdurate stomack, although all the lenitives, with strength of arguments, not wanting a good proportion of Divinity and morality, mixt and applied at all hou [...]es by the very hands equall with him in power, have been carefully and daily administred. But lest all this may seem a Romance, or a scan­dal to wound our Saint withall, take a story or two for illustration.

They say (and we have it on good accompt) that a pretty black well truss'd musical Vintner, inhabiting South from the rayes of this Blazing star, having for good causes shut up that passage of his house that might give most offence, was necessitated to entertain somtimes at the other door (and the change in this case pleads anti­quity) such friends as would come round about. Now he possibly [Page 6] conceiving no great harm in pursuing the fashion, he (as others make mixtures in Religion) only permitted, according to the advice given him, a cup of English Ale to attend his Hippocrene: But the poor man was taken at it by the fellow in Searlet, or he with the nasty night-cap aforesaid: The little Law book is by our Iustice searched, and the penalty in most barbarous manner exacted. Another wor­shipfull wa [...]rant is issued under band and broad seale, the Constable (an enemy) imployed in the execution. No respect to be given (so saith our Warrant) to Betty his wife, their six children, or any of them. The darkest time of the night was fittest for this service. In short, Tom was haled out of his bed, out of house, and the Center to which this line tended, was (we must needs say) no worse a place then a Kings house, whither a knavish boy in Pauls Church-yard sent 1. Iac. a fellow in a blew bonnet (inquiring the way) thither, and was afterwards kickt for his paines, because it proved to be a goale called Bridewell. Thither, thither our merry Vintner is arrived, and committed only for selling 2. penniworth of Ale or Bear for a pen­ny, & because his songs were not to the tune of Hannah's hymnes, but thus saith the Law, and thus the great Executor thereof. Well, the malefactor is by the heels, troubles all his friends to be Mediators, and offer sacrifice to the angry Deity, payes 19. s. 6. d. (there's six pence saved) for Petitions contrived with titles of the newest fashi­on to the offended. But the doom is past and irrevocable, all inter­cessions are fruitless, for there was so much Wisdome in the Sentence, that it might well be questioned if revoked. There our wine-tapster is ordered to thrash h [...]mp, drink small beer, and sing (if he can) till every minute of the moneth be out, for no other cause heard of then is aforesaid & for that his wife was by ill luck some kin to the Iustice.

The next in order was a very poor necessitous wretched old wid­dow, who hath many small children, living South E. from the blazing star, having no other visible way of subsistence for her self and them, but the sale to some of her neighbours, and that but sometimes of a pot or two of Ale: to which imployment also she has been brought up, and hath been licenced thereunto. There was not any disorder or miscarriage laid to her charge: And who would not ra­ther imagine this poor soul an object of compassion, then a subject for so much severity and so little justice. But see what a reckoning she is brought to.

Inprimis for selling a full quart of Ale for 2. d. 20. s. This was taxed and levied by his Worship, borrowed and paid by the woman, [Page 7] though her whole estate is not worth (in the judgment of charity) ten shillings. And was not, think you, this 20. s. with many others, well distributed?

Item, For selling another pot of the same liquor called a default after conviction) to be committed for a moneth to the house of cor­rection, and her children to be kept (in the mean time) by the Parish. This was also executed to the full.

Item, For selling a flagon of Beer (to one of the Rascalls aforesaid) for three half pence, to be again sent to Bridewell, there to remain till the next Quarter Sessions, where she now is this sixth day of the sixth moneth of the first year of our Liberties aforesaid, beating hemp for her own poor maintenance, and her said children are again dispo­sed to the little mercy and alms of the Parish. And this is the justice and judgment running down our streets like a mighty river indeed.

To tell you how his Worships zeal was let slip against another poor woman for onely selling Porridge and Brewis to the Market people in Cheapside (we think because they are liquid commodities) or to be particular in the cases of twice 40. within the territories and tortures of our Iustice, reduced to most sad conditions, even seque­stred of their beings, were but to create an incredulity, yet so it is.

No matter for their complaints or their curses cast on the cause or on their stars, for designing them to live near so much Law, and so little Iustice. Nay, to add to their misery, none dares relieve them for fear of some unheard of Law to commit them too for their Charity.

With one story more wee'll take leave, and indeed leave it to your judgements, whether so many yards of Zeal and Ignorance, with so much weight of Law and Imperiousness, and so well mixt, are not a composition sufficient to qualifie a reasonable Gent. for a more pro­per imployment, then a member: And because 'tis very new, it shall be a Use of application.

In the road indeed to this worships Powdering-tub, there dwelt lately (and his cottage stands there still) an honest (we dare not say good) fellow, and of the sinful quality aforesaid, who in the mino­rity of his understanding, was in hast blown up to a zelote, and swell'd with so much mistaken choler, that taking the Pulpit Alarum he handles his Armes, and like an especial Officer advances (in no worse then his worships company) to assist the proud against the mighty: Blows were dealt, and victory obtained, wherein our small [Page 8] Officer had his share, though not at that time of the Reward: That comes anon. Well, returning home he betakes like a sober man to his Blue apron again, maintaining Hospitality for neighbors and strangers, and that in the very place where he and his painful Wife have (with repu [...]ation) enough sojourned above fifty years. And be­cause his charity was somwhat extensive, our Martyr with some mo­ney of his own (got by good husbandry, which should be encoura­ged) and some borrowed by vertue of his better reputation. He e­rects in his own Parish a Monument of his Fame, to the advantage (as will be confessed on all hands) of both rich and poor inhabitants. Our justice is now concern'd to pay this man Arrears. A brace of most unspeakable rascally pedantick shreds, his neighbors, are both Informers and Prosecutors. The crime discovered by a trick ex officio. His fac simile is required to transcribe the last mittimus, which is done, and by this time (because it was Quarter-day) the Delinquent is removed to the bottom of the stairs at the end of the paved Alley, to the Kings house aforesaid, where we leave him too, whistling to the wheel to the tune of Iustice my Foe, &c.

And now let the world, (those especially for whom this is intend­ed) judge whether such a parcel of zeal and tyranny whom no cords of authority should bind if he could help it, who thinks his Will the best Expositor and his Hand the best executor of penal Laws, believing them to be Briars and Sprindges made to catch every thing they lay hold on. One whom we may presume fears not God, because he so hates his neighbours. In short, one in whom pride and stubborn­ness is so rampant, that as he scorns the advice of his fellow officers, so believes himself master of their understandings. Whether this Gent. we say do not merit, abominably merit your suffrages at the next Election.