HUmane misery is to divine mercy, as a black foile to a sparkling Diamond, or as a sable cloud to the Sunne-beames; Psal. 8. 4. Lord what is man, that thou art mindful of him! man is,

• In his Creation, Angelical.
• [Page 10]In his Corruption, Diabolical.
• In his Renovation, Theological.
• In his Translation, Majestical.
• An Angel in Eden.
• A Devil in the World.
• A Saint in the Church.
• A King in Heaven.

There were foure silver Chan­nels in which the chrystal streames of Gods affection ran to man in his Creation.

• 1. In his Preparation.
• 2. In his Assimulation.
• 3. In his Coronation.
• 4. In his Association.

1. In his preparation: Other creatures recieved the Charter of their beings by a simple fiat, but there was a consultation at his forming; not for the difficulty, but for the dignity of the work. The Painter is most studious about that which he means to make his Master-piece. The foure Elements were taken out of their Elements [Page 11] to make up the perfection of mans complexion; The fire was purifi'd, the aire was clarifi'd, the water was purged, the earth was refined, when man was moulded, heaven and earth was married; a body from the one was espoused to a soul from the other.

2. In his assimulation: Other creatures were made like them­selves, but man was made like God, as the wax hath the impression of the seal set upon it. It's admirable to behold so faire a picture in such course canvas, and so bright a Character in such a brown pa­per.

3. In his coronation: He that made man and all the rest, made man over all the rest. Quantillum Dominum posuit, Deus in tantum do­minium, he was a little Lord of a great Lordship; This King was crowned in his cradle.

4. In his association: Society is [Page 42] the solace of humanity: The world would be a desart without a con­sort.

Most of mens parts are made in paires; now he that was double in his perfection, must not be single in his condition, and the Lord God said, &c.

These words are like the Iron­gate that opened to Peter of it's own accord, dividing themselves into three parts.

• 1. An introduction: and the Lord God said.
• 2. An assertion, 'tis not good that the man should be alone.
• 3. A determination, I will make an help meet for him.

In the first, there's a Majesty proposed.

In the second, there's a malady presented.

In the third, there's a remedy provided.

Once more let me put these grapes into the presse.

• [Page]1. The Soveraignnesse of the expression, and the Lord God said.
• 2. The solitarinesse of the condition, 'tis not good, &c.
• 3. The sutablenesse of the pro­vision, I will make, &c.

In the first, there's the worth of veracity.

In the second, there's the want of society.

In the third, there's the work of divinity.

Of these in their order.

And first of the first.

For the first. The Soveraignnesse of the expression, and the Lord God said.

Luke 1. 70. As he spake by the mouth of his Prophets. In other Scriptures he used their mouths, but in this he makes use of his own: they were the Organs, and he the Breath; the early streames, and he the Fountain. How he spake 'tis hard to be spoken, whe­ther [Page 14] eternally, or internally, or ex­ternally. Quomodo non est quod quoeramus, sed potius quid dixerit in­telligamus, Bern. we are not to enquire to the manner of speaking, but to the matter that's spoken, which leads me like a directing starre from the Suburbs to the City, from the Porch to the Palace, from the Founder of the Mine, to the Trea­sure that is in it, it is not good, &c.

• 1. The subject.
• 2. The predicate.

The subject, man alone.

The predicate, 'tis not good, &c.

First, the subject, man alone, take this in two branches.

• 1. As it is limited to one man.
• 2. As it is lengthened to all men.

[Page 15]First, as 'tis limited to one man, and so it is taken particularly, man for the first man. When all other creatures had their mates, Adam wanted his: Though he was the Emperour of the Earth, and the Admiral of the Seas, yet in Para­dise without a companion, though he was truly happy, yet he was not fully happy; Though he had e­nough for his board, yet he had not enough for his bed; Though he had many creatures to serve him, yet he wanted a creature to so­lace him; when he was compoun­ded in Creation, he must be com­pleated by conjunction; when he had no sinne to hurt him, then he must have a wife to help him; It is not good that man should be a­lone.

Secondly, as it's lengthned to all men, and so it's taken univer­sally, Heb. 13. 4. Marriage is ho­norable unto all, not only [...], [Page 46] but [...]. It's not onely warran­table, but honourable. The whole Trinity hath conspired toge­ther to set a Crown of glo­ry upon the head of Matrimo­ny.

1. God the Father: Marriage was a Tree planted within the walls of Paradise, this flower first grew in Gods garden.

2. The Sonne: Marriage is a christal-glasse wherein Christ and the Saints do see each others faces.

3. The Holy Ghost by his over­shadowing of the blessed Virgin. Well might the world when it saw her pregnancie, suspect her Virgini­ty, but her Matrimonial condition was a grave to that suspition; with­out this, her innocency had not prevented her infamy; she needed a shield to defend that chastity a­broad, which was kept inviolable at home.

[Page 17]Too many have not worth e­nough to preserve their virginity, have yet will enough to cover their unchastity; turning the medicine of frailty into the mantle of filthi­nesse. Certainly she is mad that cuts off her legge to get her a crutch, or that venomes her face to weare a mask.

Saint Paul makes it one of the Characters of those that should ca­shiere the faith, 1▪ Tim. 4. 3. Not to forbear marriage, which may be lawful, but to forbid, it which is sinful.

One of the Popes of Rome, sprinkles this unholy drop upon it, carnis polutionem & im­munditiem.

It's strange, that that should be a pollution, which was instituted before corruption; or that impuri­ty, which was ordained in the state of innocency; or that they should make that be to a sinne [Page 18] which they make to be a Sacra­ment.

But a Bastard may be laid at the door of chastity; and a leaden crown set upon a golden head.

Bellarmine that mighty Atlas of the Papal power blowes his stinking breath upon it, saying, better were it for a Priest to defile himself with many Harlots, than to be married to one wife. These children of the purple-whore preferre their Mo­nasteries before our Marriages; a concubine before a companion. They use too many for their lusts, to choose any for their love; Their tables are so largely spread, that they can't feed upon one dish.

As for their exalting of a Virgin­state, it's like him that commended fasting when he had fill'd his belly.

Who knowes not that Virginity is a pearle of sparkling lustre? But [Page 19] can't the one be set up, without the other be thrown down? will no ob­lation pacifie the former, but the demolishing of the latter? Though we find many enemies to the choice of marriage, yet it's rare to finde a­ny enemies to the use of marriage. They would pick the lock that want the key, and pluck the fruit that do not plant the Tree.

The Hebrewes have a saying, He is not a man that hath not a woman.

Though they clime too high a bough; yet it's to be feared that such flesh is full of imperfection that is not tending to propagation; Though man alone may be good, yet it is not good that the man should be alone; whichleads me from the subject to the predicate. It is not good, &c.

Non bonum is not in this place as malum, but bonum est honestum utile jucundum.

[Page 20]Now it is not good that man should be in a single con­dition, upon a threefold conside­ration.

1. In respect of sinne, which would not else be prevented. Mar­riage is like water, to quench the sparkes of lusts fire, 1 Cor. 7. 2. Neverthelesse to avoid fornication, let every one have his own wife, &c. Man needed no such physick when he was in perfect health. Temp­tations may break natures best fence and lay it's Paradise waste, but a single life is a prison of unruly de­sires, which is daily attempted to be broken open.

Some indeed force themselves to a single life meerely to avoid the charges of a married state; they had rather fry in the grease of their own sensuality, than extinguish those flames with an allowed remedy; It's better to marry, than to burn; to be lawfully coupled, than [Page 21] to be lustfully scorched. It's best feeding these flames with ordinare fewel.

2. 'Tis not good in respect of mankinde, which then would not be propagated. The Roman Histo­rian relating the ravishing of the Sa­bine women, excused it thus: Res exat unius aetatis populus virorum, without them mankinde would fall from the earth and perish. Mar­riages do turne mutability into the image of eternity; it springs up new buds, when the old are withered. It's a greater honour for a man to be the father of one sonne, than to be the Master of many servants. With­out a wife, children can't be had lawfully; without a good wife children can't be had comfortably. Man and woman as the stock and the scien, being grafted in marriage, are trees bearing fruit to the world.

Saint Augustine sayes, this [Page 22] pair is, primum par & fundamentum omnium, &c.

They are the first linck of hu­mane society to which all the rest are joyned. Mankinde had long ago decayed and been like a Taper fall'n into the socket, if those breaches which are made by mor­tality were not repaired by Matri­mony.

3. 'Tis not good in regard of the Church, which could not then have been expatiated. Where there is no generation, there can be no regeneration:

Nature makes us Creatures, before Grace makes us Chri­stians.

If the loines of men had been lesse fruitfull, the death of Christ would have been lesse suc­cesseful.

It was a witty question that one put to him that said, marriages fills the earth, but virginity [Page 23] fills the heavens. How can the heavens be full, if the earth be empty?

Had Adam lived in Innocency without Matrimony, there would have been no servants for God in the Church Militant, nor no Saint with God in the Church Trium­phant. But I will not sinke this Vessel by the over-burdening of it, nor presse this truth to death by laying too great a load upon its shoulders.

There is one knot which I must unty before I make a farther progresse, 1 Corinthians 7. 1. It is good for a man not to touch a wo­man.

Doth all the Scriptures proceed out of the same mouth, and do they not all speak the same truth▪ the God of unity will not indite discord, and the God of verity cannot assert falsehood. If good and evil be contraries, how contrary then are [Page 24] these Scriptures? Either Moses mis­takes God, or Paul mistakes Moses about the point of mar­riage.

To which I shall give a double answer.

1. There is a publick and a pri­vate good. In respect of one man it may be good not to touch a wo­man, but in respect of all. So it is not good that the man should be a­lone.

2. Moses speaks of the state of man created, Paul of the state of man corrupted: now that which by institution was a mercy, may by corruption become a misery; as pure water is tainted by running through a miry channel; or as the Sunne-beames recieves a tincture by shining through a coloured glasse. There's no print of evil in the world, but sinne was the stamp that made it. They which seek nothing but weal in its commission, [Page 25] will finde nothing but woe in the conclusion. Which leades me from the solitarinesse of the conditi­on, man alone, to the sutablenesse of the provision, I will make her an help meet for him.

In which you have two parts,

• 1. The Agent, I will make.
• 2. The Object, a help.

First, The Agent, I will make.

We can't build a house without tooles, but the Trinity is at li­berty. ‘Dic verbum tantum.’ To Gods omniscience there's nothing invisible, and to Gods omnipotence there's nothing im­possible.

We work by hands without, but he workes without hands. He that made man meet [Page 26] for help, makes a meet help for man.

Marriages are consented above, but consummated below. Prov. 18. 22. Though man wants sup­ply, yet man cannot supply his wants. James 1. 17. Every good and perfect gift comes from a­bove, &c. A wife though she be not a perfect gift, yet she is a good gift. These beames are dar­ted from the Sunne of righteous­nesse.

Hast thou a soft heart? it's of Gods breaking: Hast thou a sweet wife? shee's of Gods ma­king.

Let me draw up this ex­pression with a double applica­tion.

1. When thou layest out for such a good on earth, look up to the God of heaven. Let him make thy choice for thee who hath made his choice of thee. Look a­bove [Page 27] you before you look about you. Nothing makes up the hap­pinesse of a married condition like the holinesse of a mortified dispo­sition. Account not those the most worthy, that are the most wealthy. Art thou matched to the Lord? match in the Lord, How happy are such marriages where Christ is at the Wedding▪ Let none but those who have found favour in Gods eyes, finde favour in yours.

2. Give God the Tribute of your gratulation for your good companions. Take heed of pay­ing your rent to a wrong Landlord. When you taste of the streame, re­flect on the spring that feeds it. Now thou hast foure eyes for thy speculation, foure hands for thy o­peration, foure feet for thy ambu­lation, and foure shoulders for thy sustentation. What the sinne a­gainst the Holy Ghost is in point [Page 28] of divinity, that is unthankfulnesse in point of morality; an offence un­pardonable. Pity it is but that Moon should be ever in an Eclipse that will not acknowledge her beames to be borrowed from the Sunne. He that praises not the giver, prizes not the gift, and so I passe from the Agent to the Ob­ject, a help.

She must be so much, and no lesse, and so much, and no more. Our ribs were not ordained to be our Rulers. They are not made of the head to claim superiority, but out of the side to be content with equality. They desert the Au­thor of nature, that invert the or­der of nature. The woman was made for the mans comfort, but the man was not made for the wo­mans command. Those shoulders aspire too high, that content not themselves with a roome below their head. It's between a man [Page 29] and his wife in the house, as it is between the Sunne and the Moone in the heavens, when the greater light goes down, the lesser light gets up; when the one ends in setting, the other beginnes in shining. The wife may be a Soveraigne in her hus­bands absence, but she must be subject in her husbands pre­sence. As Pharaoh said to Jo­seph, so should the husband say to his wife, Genesis 41. 40. Thou shalt be over my house, and according to thy word shall all my people be ruled, onely in the Throne will I be greater than thou. The body of that Houshould can never make any good motion, whose bones are out of place. The Woman must be a helpe to the man in these foure things.

• [Page 30]1. To his Piety.
• 2. To his Society.
• 3. To his Progeny.
• 4. To his Prosperity.

To his Piety by the ferventnesse of her excitati­on.

To his Society by the fragrantnesse of her conversa­tion.

To his Progeny by the fruitfulnesse of her education.

To his Prosperity by the faithfulnesse of her preserva­tion.

1. To his Piety by the fer­ventnesse of her excitation, 1 Pet. [...]. 7.

Husband and wife should be as the two milch-kine which were coupled together to carry the Arke of God; or as the two Cherubims that look't one upon a­nother, and both upon the Mer­cy-Seat; or as the two tables [Page 31] of stone, on each of which were engraven the Lawes of God. In some families married persons are like Jeremiah's two baskets of figges, one very good, the other very evil▪ or like fire and water, whil'st the one is flaming in devotion, the other is freezing in corruption. There is a twofold hindrance of holinesse; first, of the right side; secondly, on the left; on the right side when the wife would run in Gods way, the husband will not let her go: when the fore-horse in a teame will not draw, he wrongs all the rest; when the General of an Army forbids a Martch, all the Souldiers stand still. Some­times on the left; How did Solomons Idolatrous wifes draw away his heart from heaven? A sinning wife was Satans first ladder, by which he scaled the walls of Paradise and took a­way [Page 32] the Fort-Royal of Adams heart from him. Thus she that should have been the helpe of his flesh, was the hurt of his Faith: His natures under-prop­per, becomes his graces under­miner; and she that should be a Crown on the head, is a crosse on the shoulders. The wife is often to the husband as the ivy is to the oak, which drawes away his sap from him.

2. A help to his society by the fragrantnesse of her conver­sation.

Man is an affectionate crea­ture, now the womans behavi­our should be such towards the man, as to requite his affection by increasing his delectation. That the new-borne-love may not be blasted, as soon as it's blossomed; that it may not be ruined before it be rooted. A Spouse should carry her selfe so [Page 33] to her husband as not to di­sturb his love by her contenti­on, nor to destroy his love by her alienation. Husband and wife should be like two candles burning together, which makes the house more lightsome, or like two fragrant flowers bound up in one Nosegay that aug­ments it's sweetnesse; or like two well tuned instruments, which sounding together, makes the more melodious musick. Husband and wife, what are they but as two springs meeting, and so joyning their streames that they make but one cur­rant? It's an unpleasing spe­ctacle to view any Con­tention in this Conjuncti­on.

3. To his Progeny by the fruitfulnesse of her education, that so her children in the flesh may be Gods children in the [Page 34] Spirit, 1 Samuel 1. 11. Han­na she vowes if the Lord will give her a Sonne by bearing him, she will returne that son to the Lord by serving him. A Spouse should be more care­ful of her childrens breeding, than she should be fearful of her childrens bearing. Take heede last these flowers grow in the Devils Garden. Though you bring them out in corruption, yet do not bring them up to damnation. Those are not Mo­thers, but Monsters, that whil'st they should be teaching their children the way to heaven with their lips, are leading them the way to hell with their lives.

Good education is the best livery you can give them living, and it's the best Legacy you can leave them dying. You let out your cares to make them great, [Page 35] O lift up your prayers to make them good; That before you dye from them, you may see Christ live in them.

Whil'st these Twigges are greene and tender, they should be bowed towards God. Chil­dren and Servants are in a Fa­mily, as Passengers are in a Boat; husband and wife they are as a paire of Oares, to row them to their desired Haven. Let these small pieces of Timber be hewed, and squared for the Caelestial building. By putting a Scepter of Grace into their hands, you will set a Crown of glo­ry upon their heads.

4. A helpe to his Pros­perity by her faithful pre­servation, being not a Wan­drer abroad, but a Worker at home.

One of the Antients speakes [Page 36] excellently; She must not be a Field-Wife like Dinah, nor a Street-Wife like Thamar, nor a Window-Wife like Jeza­bel.

Phideas when he drew a wo­man, painted her sitting under a Snaile-shell, that she might imitate that little Creature that goes no further than it can carry it's house upon it's head.

How many women are there that are not labouring Bees, but idle Drones; that take up a roome in the Hive, but bring no Honey to it; that are Moths to their husbands E­states; spending, when they should be sparing? As the man's part is to provide in­dustrously, so the womans is to preserve discreetly; the one must not be carelesly wanting, the other must not be causlesly [Page 37] wasting: the man must be seeking with diligence, the wo­man must be saving with provi­dence. The Cock and the Hen both scrape together in the dust­heap to pick up something for their little chickens.

To winde up this on a short bottome.

1. If the Woman be a helpe to the man, then let not the man cast dirt on the Woman.

Secundus being asked his o­pinion of a Woman, speakes thus, Viri naufragium domus tempestas, quietis impedimen­tum, &c. But surely he was a Monster, and not a man, fitter for a Tombe to bury him, than a wombe to beare him.

Some have stiled them to be,

It is not good to play the Butcher with that naked Sex that hath no armes but for imbraces. A Preacher should not be silent for those who are silenced from preaching; because they are the weaker Vessels, shall they be broken all to pieces? Thou that sayest women are evil, it may be thy expression flowes from thy experience; but I shall never take that Mariner for my Pi­lot, that hath no better know­ledge than the splitting of his own Ship. Wilt thou con­demne the frame of all for the faults of one? as if it were true Logick, because [Page 39] some are evil, therefore none are good. He hath ill eyes that disdaines all objects. To blast thy helper, is to blame thy Maker. In a word, we took our rise from their bowels, and may take our rest in their bosomes.

2. Is the woman to be a helpe to the man? Then let the man be a helpe to the wo­man. What makes these Deb­tors be such ill Pay-Masters? but because they look at what is owing to them, but not at what is owing by them. If thou wouldst have thy wifes re­verence, let her have thy re­spect. To force a feare from this relation, is that which nei­ther befits the husbands authori­ty to enjoyne, nor the wifes duty to performe. A wife must not be sharply driven, but sweetly drawn. Compassion may [Page 40] bend her, but compulsion will break her. Husband and Wife should act towards each o­ther with consent, not by con­straint.

There are foure things wherein the husband is to be a meet help to the wife.

1. In his protecting of her from injuries. It's well observed by one, that the rib, of which woman was made, was taken from under the mans arme: as the use of the arme is to keep off blowes from the body, so the office of the husband is to ward off blowes from the wife: The wife is the husbands Treasury, and the husband should be the wifes Armory. In darknesse he should be her Sun for direction; in danger he should be her shield for pro­tection.

2. In his providing for her [Page 41] necessities. The husband must com­municate maintenance to the wife, as the head conveyes influence to the members; Thou must not be a Drone, and she a Drudge. A man in a married estate is like a Chamberlaine in an Inne, there's knocking for him in e­very roome. Many persons in this condition, waste that estate in Luxury, which should sup­ply their wives necessity. Nec amor viget mariti, nec fides Christiani, they have neither the faith of a Christian, nor the love of a husband. It's a sad spectacle to see a Virgin sold with her own money unto slave­ry, when Services are bet­ter than Marriages; the one recieves Wages, whil'st the other buyes their Fetters.

3. In his covering of her in­firmities. Who would trample [Page 42] upon a Jewel because it's fallen in the dirt? or throw away a heap of wheat, for a little chasse? or despise a golden wedge, because it retaines some drosse? These Roses have their prickles. Now husbands should spread a mantle of charity over their wives infirmities. They be ill Birds that defile their own nests. It's a great deal better you should fast, than feast your selves upon their failings. Some husbands are never well, lon­ger than they are holding their fingers in their wives sores. Such are like Crowes, that fasten onely upon carrion. Do not put out the Candle, be­cause of the snuffe. If the gold be good, allow it grains. Hus­bands and wives should provoke one another to love, and they should love one another notwith­standing [Page 43] of provocation. Take heed of poysoning those Springs, from whence the Streames of your Pleasure flowes.

4. By his delighting in her Society: A wife takes Sanctu­ary, not onely in her husbands house, but in his heart. The Tree of love should grow up in the Family, as the Tree of life grew up in the Garden. They that choose their love, should love their choice. They that marry where they affect not, will affect where they marry not. Two joyned together without love, are but two ty'd together, to make one another miserable. And so I passe to the last stage of the text, a help meet.

A helpe, there's her fulnesse; [Page 44] a meet help, there's her fit­nesse.

The Angels were too much above him, the creatures were too much below him; he could not steppe up to the former, nor could he stoope down to the latter: The one was out of his reach, the other was out of his race: but the woman is a parallel line drawn equal with him: meet she must be in three things.

1. In the Harmony of her disposition. Husband and wife should be like the image in a looking-glasse that answers in all properties to the face that stands before it; or like an Eccho that returneth the voice it recieveth. Many marriages are like putting new wine into old [Page 45] bottles. An old man is not a meet help for a young wo­man. He that sets a gray head upon greene shoulders, hath one foot in the Grave, and a­nother in the Cradle. Yet how many times do you see the spring of youth, wedded to the winter of old age? A young person, is not a meet help for an old woman; raw flesh is but an ill plaister for rotten bones. He that in his non-age, marries another in her dote-age, his lust hath one wife in possession, but his love another in reversi­on.

2. In the Herauldry of her condition. Some of our Euro­pian Nations, are so strict in their junctions, that it's a­gainst their Lawes, for the [Page 46] Commonalty to couple with the Gentry.

It was well said by one: If the wife be too much above her husband, she either ruines him by her vast expences, or re­viles him with her base reproa­ches: If she be too much below her husband, either her former condition makes her too generous, or her present mu­tation, makes her too im­perious.

Marriages are stiled matches, yet amongst those many that are married, how few are there that are matched? Husbands and wives are like locks and keyes, that rather break than open, except the wards be answe­rable.

3. In the holinesse of her [Page 47] Religion. If adultery may sepa­rate a marriage contracted, I­dolatry may hinder a marriage not perfected. Cattle of diverse kinds were not to ingender, 2 Corinthians 6. 14. Be not une­qually yoked, &c. It's dange­rous taking her for a wife, who will not take God for a husband. It is not meet that one flesh should be of two spi­rits. Is there never a Tree thou likest in the Garden, but that which beares forbidden fruit? there are but two channels in which the remaining streames shall runne.

• 1. To those men that want wives, how to choose them.
• 2. To those women that have husbands, how to use them.

1. To those men that want wives, how to choose them.

[Page 48]Marriage is the tying of such a knot, that nothing but death can unloose. Common reason sug­gests so much, that we should be long a doing that which can but once be done. Where one designe hath been gravel­led in the Sands of Delay, thousands have been split up­on the Rock of Precipitance. Rash adventures, yields little gaine. Opportunities are not like tides, that when one is past, another returnes; but yet take heed of flying with­out your wings; you may breed such Agues in your bones, that may shake you to your graves.

• 1. Let me preserve you from a bad choice.
• [Page 49]2. Present you with a good one.

First, to preserve you from a bad choice. Take that in three things.

• 1. Choose not for Beauty.
• 2. Choose not for Dowry.
• 3. Choose not for Dignity.

He that looks for beauty, buye a picture.

He that loves for Dowry, makes a purchase.

He that leapes for Dignity, matches with a Multitude at once.

The first of these is too blind to be directed.

The second, too base to be ac­cepted.

The third, too bold to be re­spected.

• 1. Choose not by your eyes.
• 2. Choose not by your hands.
• 3. Choose not by your eares.

First, choose not by your eyes, looking at the beauty of the person. Not but that [Page 50] this is lovely in a woman, but that this is not all for which a woman should be be­loved. He that had the choice of many faces, stampes this Character upon them all; fa­vour is deceitful, and beauty is vaine. The Sunne is more bright in a cleare Sky, than when the Horizon is clouded. But if a womans flesh hath more of beauty, than her spi­rit hath of Christianity; it's like poison in sweet-meates, most dangerous. Genesis 6. 2. The sonnes of God saw the daugh­ters of men that they were fair, &c. One would have thought, that they should rather have look'd for grace in the heart, than for the beauty in the face. Take heed of Inning at the fairest signes. The Swan hath black flesh under her white feathers.

[Page 51]Secondly, Choose not by your hands, for the bounty of the por­tion.

When Cato's daughter was asked, why she did not mar­ry, she thus reply'd; she could not find the man that loved her person above her portion. Men love curious pictures, but they would have them set in golden frames. Some are so degenerate, as to think any to be good e­nough, who have but goods enough. Take heed, for some­times the bag and baggage go together. The person should be a figure, and the portion a Cypher, which added to her, advances the summe, but alone signifies nothing. When Themistocles was to marry his daughter, two Suitors courted her together, the one rich and a foole, the other wise, but [Page 52] poore; and being demanded which of the two he had ra­ther his daughter should have, answered, mallem virum si­ne pecunia, &c. I had rather she should have a man without money, than money without a man.

Thirdly, choose not by your eares, for the dignity of her parentage. A good old stock may nourish a fruitlesse branch. There are many chil­dren who are not the blessings, but the blemishes of their pa­rents. They are nobly des­cended, but ignobly minded. Such was Aurelius Antonius, of whom it was said, that he injured his Country in nothing, but in being the father of such a childe. There are ma­ny low in their descents, that are high in their, deserts. Such was the Coblers sonne, who grew to be a famous Cap­taine; [Page 53] when a great person upbraided the meannesse of his original, my nobility (saith he) begins with me, but thy nobility ends with thee. Pie­ty is a greater honour than parentage. She is the best Gentlewoman that is heire of her own deserts, and not the degenerated off-spring of anothers vertue.

Secondly, to present you with a good choice; in three things.

1. Choose such a one as will be subject to your do­minion. Take heed of yoking your selves with untamed Hei­fers.

2. Choose such a one as may sympathize with you in your affliction. Marriage is just like a Sea-Voyage, he that enters into this Ship, must look to meet with stormes [Page 54] and tempests. 1 Corinthians 7. 28. They that marry shall have trouble in the flesh. Flesh and trouble are married together, whether we marry or no, now a bitter cup is too much to be drunk by one mouth. A heavy burden is easily car­ried by the assistance of others shoulders. Husband and wife should neither be proud flesh, nor dead flesh. You are fel­low-Members, therefore should have a fellow-feeling. While one stands safe on the shore, the other should pity him that is tost on the Sea. Sympathy in suffering, is like a dry House in a wet day.

3. Choose such a one as may be serviceable to your salvation. A man may think he hath a Saint, when he hath a Devil, but take heed of a Harlot that is false to thy [Page 55] bed, and of a hypocrite that is false to thy God.

Secondly: To those women that have Husbands, how to use them. In two things.

1. Carry your selves too wards them with obedience. Let their power command you, that their praise may com­mend you. Though you may have your husbands hearts, yet you must not have their heads. As you will his love, so you should love his will. Till the husband leave com­manding, the wife must ne­ver leave obeying. As his injunctions must be lawfull, to her subjection must be loyal.

2. With faithfulnesse. In Creation God made not one woman for many men, nor many women for one man: Every wife should be to her husband, as Evah was to A­dam, [Page 56] a whole world of wo­men; and every husband should be to his wife, as Adam was to Evah, a whole world of men. When a river is divided into many channels, the main cur­rent starves.

To conclude: Good Ser­vants are a great blessings: good Children a greater bles­sing: but a good wife is the greatest blessing: and such a helpe let him seeke for her that wants one, let him sigh for her that hath lost one, let him take plea­sure in her that enjoyes one.