Mistris PARLIAMENT Her Gossipping. FULL OF MIRTH, MERRY TALES. chat, and other Pleasant Discourse, Between,

  • Mrs.Statute.
  • Mrs.Iustice.
  • Mrs.Truth.

And

  • Mrs. Parliamnt.
  • Mrs. Ordinance▪
  • Mrs. Synod.
  • Mrs. ENGLAND being Moderator.
Mistris PARLIAMENT, that late lay in,
Invites you now unto her Gossipping;
And as the Order is unto this day,
For what you eate; shee'l make you Roundly pay;
Pray Commons eat; Har's Chat and Laughter.
And Committee-Fruit in dishes after:
Fail too and welcome; I have still in store
To prove Her Bawd, Murderer, Witch, and Whore.
Her Tryall's past; shee is condem'd to die,
Her Execution Day drawes nie;
Come Help to guard her to the Gallow-tree.
ENGLAND is freed of all her Miserie.

BY Mercurius Melancholicus:

⟨may 22⟩ Printed in the yeer of the Downfall of the Sectaries, 1647.

Mrs. Parliament her GOSSIPPING.

Enter Mrs. Parliament, Mrs. Statute, Mrs. Synod.

WELL, well; Never make comparisons with me Goodee Statute, 'tis, known to my Neighbours what I am well enough, and to what Houses ally'd; thou art but of a mean Parentage; nor that Trollup (thy sister Justice neither;) marry come up mother Ʋgly? shalt thou and thy Sister Damnable take the upper hand of me? I de­fie ye both, and scorn to foul my mouth with two such Bag­agges, that for neglect of doing your severall Offices, are now turn'd out of service by my Mother Parliament, and now doe ye think to take place? Yes, yes, when my mother hath no­thing else to doe, so ye shall. Get you gon to your King to the Ile of Wight, he perhaps may entertain you, (if Colonell Ham­mond pleases) for my Mother shall have nothing to doe with such homely Gossips as you are; Pray be packing: neither Sta­tute, Justice, Law, Reason, not Religion, either comes within her doors so long as Ordinancas eyes be open: And though I say't (that should not say't,) I have been an obedient Daugh­ter to her, and have up rising, and down-lying, with all dilli­gence executed her commands (right or rong) she knows it well enough, and so doth my Father in law Cromwell too; and my Reveren'd Uncle, the new Chancellor of Oxford. High and Mighty Phillip Switch, Earl of Pembroke, will sweare Dam him he loves me; and I must love him againe, in despight of what doe ye call it hu, hu, hu, I huming Learning, 'tis; my Mother and I have pepper'd huming learning, Bishops! ha, ha, ha, I laugh to think of Canterbury; oh my sides, how I made him shorter by the head, and quite spoil'd his huming learning: Dostors cotha; I have cast their waters for them, and made many of them to [Page 4] drink water, and to leap at a crust too; I laugh to think on't, what doe they call them, Deanes, Prebends and Chapiters; all one with me, or my Unckle Phillip either: If we say they be all Popish, they be all Popish, and pray who dare say the contrary; then will my Unckle and I out them their profane Nurseries of Learning because there should be none wiser then our­selves; and put in their Places Innocents in Learning, pure J [...]norance, Devout Folly, and Zealous Madness; What though the Wicked terme them Fools, Mad-men or Knaves, so long as we are a [...]l accounted so at Westminster; Is it any matter for Learning? Give me my Mother tongue in a pure Parliament Dialects the Alphabet where of begins with K. that is in plain English Knave, or Knaves: L. betokens Learning, and may be let out, Besides it is a Numerall Letter, and signifies fifty, that is some of the Number of the Beast; and is used in CharLes [...] M. that may stand, because we cannot spell money without it, which my Mother Parliament loves exceedingly: Money is the main Key of our Work; Take away money, alas Ordi­nance is not worth a straw, nor Parliament neither: O begins my own Name; wee have taught the people that already, to cry out O, oh! when we kill them; Rob or Plunder them of all they have, and then the poor wretches being ready to starve, will quickly learn O: P. begins my Mothers Name, P. Par­liament, P. Priviledge, Pay, Perjury; P. is the best Letter in our Alphabet. Q. is profane, being the first Letter of Queene, and is not to be used in my mother tongue, save in two places; Question, and Quarter: R is abomination, and so is C too; who hath not read [...] we cannot indure it, Rex, 'tis as hatefull to us as a Crosse upon a Steeple; yet in Riches or Re­venue it is tolerable: S signifies Sessments, Say and Seale, and is a Letter much used in Westminster School, as S for Sed [...]ti­on, S. Sacriledge, S slavery: T TOM, T— &c. T Traytors, T Tyburne, T tyrants, and T task-masters, Turn coats, &c. V. Vote U for me, and ile Vote for U: V shall pay for all (U the Common People I mean:) V have undone us all; the Devil take U, and all the rest of the Alphabet for me; Here be Let­ters enough for my mothers Children; your will with me Statute?

Stat.
[Page 5]

Had I my will, I would hang both thee and thy mo­ther too: had thy mother been an honest woman Statute had never forsaken her; when I and my sister Justice gave her o­ver she entertain'd thee into service, to execute her unjust commands; then she play'd the Strumpet to some purpose be­came a Murderer, a Witch, a Thief.

Ord.

Wilt thou prove my mother a Witch or a Whore?

Stat.

Yes, and a murdering bloody Whore too: Sister Justice call hither my Cozen Trut [...], she can witness it.

Just.

I will obey yee. Sister Truth? why Sister Truth, Come into the Court.

Enter TRUTH.
Stat.

Truth, here is a difference betwixt Mrs. Ordinance the Bastard Issue of Mrs. Parliament and my self; I know thou art her profest enemy; but yet thou art so honest, that thou canst not hate her Person more then her Conditions; therefore I de­sire thee to speak of her as she deserves and no otherwise.

Truth.

I will; shee deserves to be hang'd drawn and Quar­tered; or burnt with her Houses about her ears.

Just.

Make her Crimes known good Truth; I must not al­wayes deferre deserved punishment.

Truth.

Dear Cozins, had either of you both been us'd by her as I have been; you would not [...]uffer her to live a Day.

Stat.

I prithee tell us how?

Truth.

Why shee has Voted me a Malignant kick'd me out of the Church, the Parliament-House and all the Courts of Ju­stice, and bannish'd poor Truth into an [...]land, where J have suffered all miseries whatsoever, as cold, hunger, nakedness, whil'st she like a Strumpet, hath [...]ur [...]eited with the Excess she hath gain'd by Extortion, Theft and Rapine; Rob'd God, the King and Common-wealth, and hath bewitch'd the People in­to abhorred Rebellion, and led them blindfold by the Noses to their own destruction; That her eldest Bastard Ordinance is likewise a Traytor to the Kingdome, and a bloody mur­derer, of souls as well as bodies▪ and an arrant Pick-pocket, and a Pawde, and her Daughter the like; for what mischief so­ever hath been Ordered by the one, hath been acted by the o­ther, both against Reason, Law and Conscience.

Iust.
[Page 6]

I can forbeare her no longer; apprehend the Scrumpet that she may suffer deserved punishment, according to he [...] crimes?

Stat.

Ile prosecute the Law on them, and Truth shall brin [...] in the Evidence against them both. But who comes here cla [...] all in sables?

Enter Mrs. England in mourning
Eng.

Was ever grief like mine? O my HEAD! my Eye are dimm'd with weeping; my bowells tremble, my hands are palsied or'e, my heart weeps blood, and all the faculties of my soul and body are out of frame; I am troubled with lunitick passions, and a dull lethargy seizes on all my vitalls; sure I am bewitch'd, a Paniqe fear glides through all my veines; Help, help O ye Celestiall powers, and stave Confusion off me, which threateneth my sudden ruine.

Stat.

'Tis Mrs. England; shee's in a strange fit, ile see if I can comfort her,

And know the reason of her discontent,
Sure shee's bewitch'd by Mrs. Parliament.

All hayl to sad dejected England; What is the reason of your heaviness? if Iustice can administer any comfort to thee; be sure on't: Here is my cozen Statute too, and honest Truth will doe the lik.

Eng.

Dear friends, welcome to poor despised England; this full seven years J have enquir'd after you, and never could finde you out till now, though J have sought for you at West­minstered, and all the Kingdom over.

Truth.

Alas Mrs. England, we have been, all three banish'd from thence this seven yeers, and beat out of the Church too, Robb'd, Plunder'd, and Sequestrated of all our Lands and goods, flung into Prisons, and exposed to all the miseries that Malice could invent against us.

Iust.

Mrs. Enland, our sufferings are all alike: therefore it is but folly to complain of our wrongs; let us finde out the au­thoresse of all this mischief, that by her Witchcraft and black Sorcery hath wrought all our ills; Know you who 'tis has wrought all this that J may whet my glittering sword, and pierce the Strumpets heart.

Eng.
[Page 7]

'Tis soon known who is the Authour of our miserys 'tis that dam'd Hagge Mrs. Parliament, and her Daughter Or­dinance, that feeds fat with Theft and Rapine, and quaff whole mazor Bowls of Englands blood.

Stat.

Let's apprehend the Witch, and try her and her Daugh­ter by the known Lawes of the Land; but first let us degrade her, strip her out of her Parliament-Roabes, and then search the Imposture, to see what marks she has about her privities, to give such damned Spirits suck, as Manchester and Lenthall her two Familiars, and those Evill spirits Mildmay, Veine, Martyn, and Devill Challonor conjur'd as low as hell, and all the dam­ned Furyes in the Houses to knaw tbeir wrists, and bite their fingers ends off, tearing their Snaky locks whilst they sit mum­bling or'e their hellish Charmes, and execrable Spells, till we have dispers'd all hells balefull Powers, that now seeme to o­vertopp us.

Eng.

We are all agreed; let's make it known unto the Com­mon People, and they'l dispatch her presently; many hands will make light work with her: but first let Mrs. London guard her surely lest she run away before this be effected.

Iust.

No, 'tis pitty the Rude multicnde should handle her; Let me first try this damn'd Geneva Witch; perhaps she may con­fess her guilt: If she can rehearse the Lords Prayer, or the Creed she is no Witch.

Truth.

She hath deny'd that long since; Nurse Synod can tell that well enough: Ile draw up her Indictment presently.

Eng.

Doe good Truth, and ile produce you witnesses enough against her Ile warrant you.

Iust.

Summon them all three to the Barre.

Eng.

Mrs. Parliament, Mrs. Ordinance, Mrs. Synod, answer to your Names, and appear in the Court to answer what shall be objected against you for my Lord the King.

Enter Mrs. Parliament in a Scarlet coloured Robe, Riding on a beast of many heads, and a Cup of Red Wine in in her hand, with Ordinance, and Synod.
Eng.

Mrs. Parliament hold up thy hand to the Barren, Thou [Page 8] art Arraigned by the Name of Parliament, That wheras thou hast (not having the grace of God before thine eyes) ever since Novem. 3. 1641. against the Lawes of our Soveraigne Lord the King, by the instigation of the Devil, Trayterously endeavour­ed to change the Fundamentall Lawes of the Kingdom; and to root out the King and his Posterity; to root out, and over­throw the very beings and foundations of Parliament; and to bring a scandall and reproach upon that High and Honourable Ceurt; That she hath by her sorceries and delusions bewitched the People into Rebellion against their Gracious Soveraigne the Lords Anointed; That she hath sacrilegiously rob'd God of his Worship, he Church of its Patrimony, the King of his Re­venue; the Subject of his Libertie; and changed Religion into Faction; Preaching into prating Blasphemy, Treasons, Contra­dictions and Tautallogies; That she hath by the Power of the Sword by the help of a Tyrannicall, Schismatticall and Over­awing Party) robbed and killed the Subjects, even at her very doors as they come to make know their a grievances; That she still keeps her King in Prison, and insults and Tyranizes over the Lives & Fortuns of a Free-born people, charging them with insupportable Impositions to maintain an Army to destroy themselves who act nothing but Rapine, Murder and Cruelty, and hath brought all the Plagues of God upon this Nation.

Stat.

What sayst thou Mrs. Parliament, art thou guilty, or not guilty of all these crimes objected against thee by Truth?

Parl.

Guilty of all this, and ten times more, and would doe it again, had I yet power.

Truth.

Graceless wretch! Let us proceed to sentence.

Stat.

Mistris Parliament, thy Conscience is a thousand wit­nesses: I Wish thou couldst repent; Thou art to return to the place from whence thou camst and from thence to be drawn to the place of Execution, and there to be hanged and Quar­tered. So Lord have mercy on thy soul. Take her Jaylo [...].

Parl.

I defie ye all; doe your worst: Yet save my childe.

Stat.

Call a Jury of Women to search her.

Enter Women and search her, and finde Witches markes up­on her, and Exit.
FINIS.

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