FRIENDLY ADVICE In the SPIRIT of LOVE Unto Believing PARENTS, And their tender OFF-SPRING in Relation to their Christian Education.

By J. F. and R. S.

And ye Fathers, provoke not your Children to wrath, but bring them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord, Eph. 6. 4.
Children obey your Parents in the Lord, for this is right, Eph. 6. 1.

London, Printed in the Year 1688.

A short Introductory Epistle unto Believing Parents.

THese following Lines presented to your Perusal, are not written out of any affectation to be seen in Print or desire of becoming a Teacher or Instructor to others, but in un­feigned Love, a real good Will to you and all whom it may concern; and to stir up your pure minds by way of Remembrance, unto that Christian Duty, and faithful dis­charge thereof, which God Almighty hath laid upon and enjoyns us unto, so that we may with Joy give an Account unto Him who is the great Lord of all, at whose will we hold & enjoy what soever we have that is good, and must therefore give an account to Him of our Stewardship, and receive a Reward from him accordingly; for our Gold, our Silver, and all our Substance we receive, it's He that lends it us. And therefore we [Page]ought to be careful that none of it be im­ployed in any other service but in His, (and whats with His good liking) for certainly those that have the greatest share, ought not to wast or spend any of it, to the gratifying of the lust of the Eye, the lust of the Flesh, or pride of Life; because these things are not of the Father, but of the World, and therefore are not in the least to be Countenan­ced or Incouraged by any of Gods Children (whom he hath gathered out of the World) either in themselves or their Children, which indeed are the Blessing of God, as a good Wife is his Gift, and the vine from whence they Spring, and they like Olive Plants shall sit round about the Table of him that fears the Lord and walks in his Wales, yea, they shall inherit the earth But some that have made a wrong use of that plenty, God hath blest them with, have gratifyed a Mind and Spirit in their Off-spring that should have been Curbed and kept under, whereby they have increased and grown up in that which after hath been a grief to their Parents and many others, and a great hurt to their ten­der Children; yea, some have been so [Page]Cockered and fondly used, that when they have grown up, they have been ready to blame their Parents. Now this hath been for want of keeping in that pure and heavenly Wisdom which is truly profitable to direct. And therefore my sincere desire and earnest Prayer to Almighty God is, that we all wait upon the Lord, so that we may know him to guide us by his Counsel, and receive Wisdom from Him, to bring up our Children in his fear, and what in us lies not only reprove them for evil, but restrain them from it (and all things that are of that kind and nature) and endeavor to train them up in that which teaches to hate Pride and Arrogancy (two Reigning Sins) and also every evilway, that so they and we may be heirs of the bles­sing of Almighty God, and in the end that Crowns ad, lay down our heads in Peace, and rest with Him for evermore, so wisheth, and so prayeth your Friend.

CHAP. I.

Dear Friends,

HAving been for some years past Exer­cised in the Instruction and Educati­on of Children, I found a stir­ring in my heart, and a concern came over my Spirit in the Love of God, to wit as followeth.

The Lord (whom we may now call out God) hath been pleased to visit us, with the visitation of His tender Love, and by His Holy Arm and Divine Hand hath gathered, and is gathering a Remnant out of those Wayes, Customs, Fashions, Forms, and Worships, that are in the World that lies in wickedness (which we as well as others were once in) but now the Counsel of God in us, and unto us, is, that we touch not, neither tast nor handle any of those things, but be separate from them, that the Lord may re­ceive us as His, being bought and purchased by Him; not with Gold nor with Salver, nor any Corruptible thing, but by the pretious blood of Christ who dyed and suffered for us.

And dear Friends, as we are thus called and gathered by the Lord from the Worlds Waies, Customs, Fashions, Languages, and whatsoever is evil; so we no doubt ought to use our utmost endeavours to preserve out Children and Off-spring out of them, and Restrain them from them, lest they be cor­rupted with them, and their minds and af­fections set more upon them, then that Holy Way, Truth, and Profession that every ho­nest Friend in Truth desires his Children and Off-spring may be Educated and trained up in; and blessed be the Lord that there is a Remnant that have received that Holy Un­ction which is able to teach them all things. And as its Teachings are kept to, learnt and followed will, lead out of ail that which of­fends the Lord and grieves his People, and is unbecoming our Holy Profession, and that Plainness and Simplicity, which Truth now as formerly leads into, by which we and out Children have appeared unto the World a separate People; not only from their Forms, Worships, and Religions, but their Language, foolish Fashions, antick Dresses, superfluous Apparel, and costly Array. And therefore dear Friends, as we have known the Judg­ments of God in our selves for these things, and through Judgment have known a being edeemed out of them; let not any of us [Page 3]Countenance or Encourage any of our Chil­dren, or them we have the Government of in them. But take the Wise Mans Counsel and Advice, and labour in the love of God to train up our Children in the way they should walk, that they may not depart from it when they are Old; but stand up and succeed us in a Testimony for the Lord His Way, Truth, and the true Chri­stian Profession, and may manifestly be the trained up Schollars and true Disciples of Him, in whom we have believed by their taking up their dayly Cross, to all things contrary to the self denying life of a true Christian; that the Blessing of God which is the best Postion, and makes truly rich, may be upon them.

CHAP. II. A few words of tender Advice, and Counsel un­to the Children of believing Parents; exhort­ing them to Obedience according to Christs Ex­ample, and not to fimfy themselves, but be lowly, and to fear God.

OH! remember your Creator in the daies of your Youth before the evil day come, and be subject to your Parents, in your tender years, as Christ our Lord was unto his accord­ing to the Flesh, even at twelve years of Age; as ye read in the holy Scriptures: He was not [Page 4]Stubborn nor Willful, he was not Heady nor high Minded, he lusted not after the Fashions and Customs of the evil World, nor after gay Cloathing, nor rich Apparel; but in all things did the Will of His Heavenly Father that sent him. Therefore take Him for your Example, and obey your Parents, and be subject to them in all things, that they Advise and Counsel you for your good, here and hereafter, for what will all the finery avail when you come to dye, and why should any be so concerned to finifie a little Dust and Ashes or House of Clay, which may fall in a mo­ment or twinkling of an Eye, and neglect chat which tends to their Souls everlasting good.

Oh! therefore let me in treat you, to mind the holy fear of Almighty God, which will preserve you out of these things, and have re­gard to the Holy Witness, Light, Grace, and Spirit of God in your own hearts, which will let you see that you should not be Heady, High Minded, Willful, Surly, or Stubborn; but Meek, Lowly, Humble, and Submissive, and then you'l be 'liker Christ: But the Heady High Minded, Wild, Wanton, and Proud, they are like him that is the King o­ver all the Children of Pride, Job 41.34. And it was he that lead the Daughters of Zion into Haughtiness, and taught them to walk with stretched forth Necks, and Wan­ton [Page 5]Eyes, walking and mincing as they went; whereby the Lord was so displeased, as to threaten to smite with a Scab the Crown of the Daughter of Zion, and to discover their secret parts. But as you mind and have re­gard to the Light and good Spirit of God and learn of it, you will be taught to deny these things and be preserved (as you abide in it) from saying any bad Words, telling any idle and false Stories, or speaking any Untruths, altho it were to excuse your selves: Oh! therefore I beseech you have regard to it, do not dispise it, nor quench the motions of it; and then you will be a Comfort to your Parents, a rejoycing to your Friends, and good Examples to other Children with whom you converse or are among; and will cause the holy Truth to be well spoken of, and make the Profession of it more to shine. But if you flight the Counsel of your tender Pa­rents, Tutors, and Friends, Remember a day of Calamity will come, and that you must one day appear before Him that will bring every work to Judgment with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil; and for every idle Word you must give an Account in the day of Judgment, as Christ said, Mat. 12.36. And if then thou art found of that Number, that have set at nought God Counsel immediately by his Spirit in [Page 6]thy own heart, and instrumentally through thy Parents, Tutors, or Friends, and would not regard any of their Reproof, Then the Lord will mock at thy Calamity, and laugh when thy fear comes; when Distress and An­guish cometh upon thee, the Lord God Al­mighty therefore incline more and more the hearts of them (that are young and tender) unto him, and to stand in his awe and holy fear; that so you may lack no good thing, but may dayly know the Lord to lead you in His way, that you may find Rest and Peace to your Souls Eternally, when ever it shall please the Lord to take you hence.

CHAP. III. An Exhortation to Children, tenderly Advi­sing them to improve their pretious time, and to avoid the reading unprofitable Books, and telling idle Tales; as also, to read and learn the Holy Scripture according to the Exam­ples of Ancient Protestants.

ANd this is in my Mind, in much Love and Tenderness, by way of Counsel; fur­ther to add to you, who are the tender Off-spring of believing Parents, that you may be careful to improve your pretious time, which comes upon you with a silent foot, and [Page 7]swiftly passes away. And therefore may out daies here be aptly compared to a Weavers Shuttle, and our Life to a Bubble in the Wa­ter, which suddainly rises, and in a Moment is down and no more to be seen; so it may be said of all Mankind, the young as well as they of riper years, they are here to day in a Mor­tal State, and to morrow may launch out ei­ther into Eternal Happiness, or everlasting Wo. And therefore let me intreat and per­swade you for your present good, and future happiness, not to spend nor squander away your pretious time, in Wildness, Vanity, or Foolish Delights; neither in the Hearing, Tel­ling, or Reading any idle Tales, false Stories, lying Histories, or foolish Verses that tend not to any Godly Edifying, or informing your understandings in that which is good; but ra­ther to the filling your Minds with unprofitable matter, which often occasions such like Dis­course, for out of the Abundance of the Heart the Mouth speaks, and that commonly, which Peoples minds are most filled with, and taken up with all, that they mostly talk of and discourse about; let me therefore prevail with you frequently to Read the Holy Scrip­tures, and learn to say some Chapters thereof without looking on the Book. For the Wal­denses who were a Religious People in their days, and great Sufferers for their Religion, [Page 8]took more care to have their Children Read and learn the Holy Scriptures, then to gratifie their vain Minds, and Childish Humors; for in the History of the Waldenses, Book. 1. c. 5. P. 29. its said as touching Erudition, Rai­nerius hath said, that they teach their Children, yea, even their Daughters, the Epistles and the Gospels.

Jacobus de Riberia saith, that they were so well instructed in the Scriptures, that he hath heard a plain Country-man repeat the Book of Job Word by word, and divers others that could perfectly repeat the whole New Testament. And indeed it is much better to spend your time thus, and will be more comfort to your honest Patents and rejoycing to your Friends, that heartily wish and pray for your Welfare, then to see you play it away in Wildness and Vanity, and letting out your minds and lust­ings after the foolish fashions and vain Cu­stoms of the World, which will never pro­cure any comfort to your tender Parents. Therefore once more I earnestly intreat you in unfeigned love to relinquish, forsake, and deny your selves of those things that tends to your hurt, and let not the subtil Enemy that lies in wait to Ensnare, Captivate, and draw away your minds from the Principal of Truth (the Light and Spirit of Christ in your hearts [Page 9]and Consciences) or prevail upon you with any of his suggestions, that such an one doth so, or thus, and why may not I, and such an one hath come to Meetings long, and is esteem­ed an honest Friend, and he or she wares this, speaks that, or doth the other thing, and they should be our Examples, and therefore why may not I. These often are the suggestions of Satan, to draw and allure the minds of the young and tender from Truth in themselves, and to strengthen them in that which many times they know they ought not to do, and be­lieve would be better if they did not, and by these and such like allurements of Satan, they are sometimes drawn away to their own Souls hurt, and grief of their tender Parents and Friends. And therefore lend not an Ear to him herein, for Satans design is only to draw thee into and continue thee in Sin, that thou might be hardened against God, the reproof of his Spirit in thy heart, and the reproos and Counsel of thy Friends and tender Parents, and you may read the fearful portion of such, Prov. 29. 1. But if thou stand in awe of God, and abides in his fear, thou wilt be preserved out of these and all evil things, and will be taught to deny them, and wilt receive Wisdom from God, who is the fountain of it, to order thy Affairs with discretion, and will learn by it to honour thy Father and thy Mother accord­ing [Page 10]to Gods Command; to be subject to your Tutors, respectful to your Elders, loving to your Friends and Companions, and this will close that evil Eye Which Satan is ready to open in you, to look at this thing in one, and that in another, and to make an ill use thereof. And therefore live in Gods fear that preserves you out of these things and you will have Gods blessing, obtain his Favour, feel his Presence, be servants in his House, yea, heirs of his King­dom, and inheritors among the Saints in Light, and receivers of a weighty Crown of Glory, as ye live and dye in Gods fear. And therefore this is the summ and conclusion of the whole matter, as Solomon said, fear God and keep his Commandments, for this is the whole Duty of Man. So in that true love and tenderness in which I began, I shall conclude with hearty desires, that you all may love and imbrace that good Spirit of God in your own hearts, that inclines to love Vertue, Temperance, Meekness, Gentleness, Humility, and the fear of God; and will if you'l love and obey it bring forth in you the fruits of his Spirit which is in all goodness; and then you'l not reject this Counsel and Advice of him who is your real and allured Friend,

John Field.

POSTSCRIPT.

ANd to shew that it hath been the care of reputed Heathens, as well as Christians, that their Children might be well Educated, and gave their Advice accordingly. Take these following Instances.

Plutarch a Heathen School-Master to the Emperiour of Trajan, in his Book concerning the Education of Children, before he proceeds to many good precepts for the vertuous Edu­cation of Youth more grown up, Advises that even Nurses retrain from telling Children Fa­bles.

And Phocylides (also instanced by him) saies, that one ought to teach one even when a Child, things that are good. History Wal­den. Book 1. of their Doctrine, c. 3. p. 22. We must serve our Fathers and Mothers with all out Power, never debatinging or question with them with hard and bitter Speeches; but we must answer them humbly, and hearken lov­ingly to their Reprehensions; we must likewise honour them by Administring unto them things necessary for this Life. For Fathers and Mothers have nourished their Children with their own Flesh their proper substance; and Children nourish their Parents with that which is without their flesh, being impossible they [Page 12]should restore to them those benifits they have received of them. And touching the Instru­ction we have received of our Parents, we must obey them in whatsoever shall tend to our Salvation, and to a good end.

And p. 38. of the same Book, a certain learned Father saith, that costly Apparel, Su­perfluity in Diet, Flay, Idleness, and Sleep, fatten the Body, nourish Luxury, weaken the Spirit, and lead the Soul into death. And therefore they commend a spare Diet, Labour, short Sleep, and poor Garments.

Oh! that all People and Children, and e­specially, those that profess the Holy Truth, would follow the good Counsel and take the wholsesome advice of these People, who were under such a Godly care for their tender Of­fering. Surely, I may say of them they would not adorn their Daughters with Gold, or put them on Gold Chains, nor their Sons into slanting curled Periwiggs, who gave this Christian Advise; which indeed, that Truth which Almighty God hath blessed a Rem­nant with the knowledg of answers unto, and will no doubt lead all them that heartily love and saithfully follow it, into that Plainness which becomes them that are of Jacobs (the Plain Mans seed) and preserve every such one from going into (or practising) those things that the unchangeable Spirit of God, [Page 13]in and through the Apostle of Christ advised unto, as in 1 Pet. 3. 3, 4.

Dear Friends,

MY sincere desire and earnest breathing unto God hath been, is, and I hope ever shall be, that we may every one both Male and Female of all degrees, who have re­ceived the Truth in the love of it, encrease in faithful obedience unto the same, so shall our strength in the in ward man be renewed, and our understanding more and more divinely opened, and kept open: by which we shall be in a fit Capacity to see and discern the deep workings of the Mistery of Iniquity at all times, who is not wanting now in a season of outward Liberty to use his endeavours to draw forth the mind from its inward retirements and constant watchings in the Spirit, Light and Life, which we have in Measure received from the Father of Lights, into a careless easeful state to whom the wo is, and a standing idle in this day to lose our reward.

Now this I can truly say, that the Lords Arm of Power is not shortned that it cannot save, but as we have known it revealed for our de­liverance, and have in Measure witnessed Sal­vation by it; so it is the same now as ever it was, ready and able to preserve the mind, and [Page 14]keep it out of the snares which the Enemy li­eth to catch us in.

But this Principally I have to signifie, that the Enemy is not contented to seek our hurt a­lone, but also he hath a deep design upon our tender Children the Off-spring of our Bodies, endeavouring to corrupt them by drawing forth their Minds after the Vanity and Folly, Customs, and Fashions that is found without in the World that lieth in Wickedness, that so he may thereby harden their hearts, and turn them against the appearance of Truth within themselves; that so the holy seed which God hath sown, may not spring up in them to prepare them in their tender years, as Ves­sels for the Lords own use, nor to know and remember the God of their Fathers, and that they may not succeed them as true Heirs of the blessings of the most High, nor be faith­full witnesses in their Generation, in a Holy Life and Conversation.

Of this I am deeply sensible, and have more then an Ordinary exercise for the youth of our time, because of which I am drawn forth in Bowels of tender love, earnestly to intreat and beseech all believing Parents to put too their help, as the Lord shall enable (who is ready and willing as we breath to him) with might and power to work against this Enemy, and endeavour to undermine his wicked designs. [Page 15]First, in being good Examples of Vertue and Piety to our tender Children, and shuning e­very appearance that tends to the contrary. And secondly, not to be overcome with an extream of love or fondness, because thereby (many times, and too often) such things are overlookt and past by, which in the very bud, ought rather to be discountenanced with re­proof or correction, as tending to the strength­ening of the Enemy in his wicked designs as above mentioned.

Oh that there were not cause for me to break forth into a Lamentation for the sake of many poor Children, who are hurt through their Parents extream love or foolish fondness over them; but Oh! my Soul hath and doth la­ment over them. Saying, if there be any Truth in this Proveth, [that it is possible to kill with kindness] I am sure (with grief do I mention it) that many tender Children are like to be distroyed by this extream Fondness from their fond Parents, except it be prevent­ed by a timely Moderation.

And sure, I am the Lord is displeased with such Parents whoever they are, whether Rich or Poor, for he is no respecter of Persons; for tho this Proverb shall be no more used, Jer. 31. v 29, 30. In those days they shall say no more, the Fathers have eaten sower Grapes, and the Chil­drens Teeth are set on Edg; But every one shall [Page 16]dye for his own iniquity, every man that eateth the sower Grapes, his Teeth shall be set on Edg.

Yet where Parents through neglect of their duty of being good Examples to their Chil­dren in a holy life and Conversation, in the fear of God to give good Counsel, and instruct their Children in that which is good, and en­couraging them therein; warning them of evil, reproving them and correcting for the same. I say, where Parents are thus negli­gent of their Duty to their tender Children, the Enemy doth prevail and bring to pass his designs, leads them down to the Chambers of Death and Darkness, where the Wo and Mi­sery is; the blood of such Children will be re­quired at their hands, Eze. 3.18. When I say unto the Wicked, thou shalt surely die, and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the Wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, the same Wicked Man shall dye in his Iniquity, but his blood will I require at thine hand.

But when Parents performs their Duty towards their Children, by letting their Light shine forth before them in a Holy Life and Conversation, not sparing good Counsel and Instruction in that which is good, warn­ing and correcting them for Evil; yet not­withstanding, their Children turns their back on the good Counsel, and persist in their Ini­quity, and turns not from it, they shall dy [Page 17]therein, and their blood shall lie at their own Doors, and their Parents shall be clear, Eze. 3.19. Yet if thou warn the Wicked, and he turn not from his Wickedness, not from his Wicked way, he shall dye in hit Iniquity, but thou hast delivered thy So [...] ▪

From one that hath an ex­ercise in body and spirit, for the sake of such Pa­rents and Children as cause the Truth to suffer in themselves and others, because of their unduti­fulness to God and each other. Richard Scoryer.
Wansworth the 15th. 7th. Month, 88.
THE END,

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