THE English Mountebank CASTING The Sickly Water OF THE STATE: Opening the severall causes of her des­perate Disease, and prescribing certaine Soveraigne Antidotes for the speedy Cure of all her Maladies. Dedicated to all true hearts that heartily desire Great Brittaines perfect Cure.

Printed in the Yeare 1647.

The English Mountebanke, &c.

ROmes poison Spaines complots, the French designes,
My skill foresees discovers undermines,
And Scotlands too; that for our guodes or Gold;
Kings, States, Lawes, Religion's bought and sold.
Why Saint-like Sacriledge doth impropriate,
And calme Oppression swallowes Church and State?
Why close Hypocrisie bends his Courtly knee,
Though (wanting all faith) would have all faiths free.
I cure blind Eyes, Eares deafe, Tongues dumb, and tell
What duller Spirits in the flack Nerves dwell:
And by my Learning, and deep skill can show
How humerous and irregular vices flow,
And why the liver boyles with lust still bloud;
What makes the Stomack brooke no meate that's good;
Why the loose Palsie makes the Hands to tremble,
Whether for love they spake, or they dissemble,
Why that the gouty Knees so stifly bend,
And Feet are swift for bloud, but no good end.
I cure all these and more, and seldome faile
To draw all Humours through the guts or taile.

My Antidote.

TAke in the declining of the Sun, of the precious Herbe called Christian Obedience, a good quantity: Of Uniformity in Reli­gion, as much: Of Allegiance to Sovereignity; with a little of an herb called Supremacy, picke them [...] then put them into the Cha­fer of a good Conscience, cleane scour'd from the Rust of Ambition, Rebellion, Sacriledge, Perjurie, Hypocrisie and Coveteousnesse, &c. Then put into them some few drops sliding from the Chrystal foun­taine of and obedient and [...] the cleere fire of fervent love; keepe them stirring and in perpetuall motion, till they become a Soveraigne Salve; then take it off, and coole it with the breath of a sanctified Spirit; then treasure it up carefully [Page]in a vessell made of the pure clay of English Honour; apply it every Morning to your queasie stomacks, it undoubtedly cures you of the bloudy issue, the Kings Evill, the frenzie in your Heads, the aking of your hearts, and the Consumptions of your (lately lost) Liberties, and Estates; and make you as healthfull as ever you were in all your lives, and your Land once more happier then ever, by dispelling all the Contagious vapours, and misty fogges that have so infected you with a deep Lethargie, and robe you of the sense of all your for­mer happinesse: Apply this Antidote, it will cost you little, consi­dering the preciousnesse thereof.

This passeth our Elixar, or the Stone
Sought for by many, but obtained by none:
Th' obstruction of the Liver, or the Spleene,
This opens, mollifies, and purges cleane:
A secret 'tis assur'd for madnesse, folly,
Wilde jealousie, or cloudy Melancholly:
It cures the Gout, it qualifies the Cause,
Supplies the Commons Purse like th' oyle o'th' Lawes:
This dries up Humours, Humours that abound,
And our weake bodies this makes safe and sound.
Buy then this Antidote at any Rate,
It cures the sad disease of your sicke State.

Next (deare Countrie-men) my man Jack Pudding shall shew you a new fashioned Looking-glasse, which once belonged to one Janus, wherein you may see backward at your former happinesse, and forward to your ensuing miserie: I am faine to shew it you first in the darke, because you may see how each Meteor, or Ignis fatuus seemes a Sunne; but in the day comming neare the Sunne, they can­not be seen: Next in one of the new Lights (called Reformation) wherein you may perceive that some aspiring too high, have presu­med too far. All persons are not fit for all places: Fooles mistake, and overdoe; wise men warme themselves at the fire, where children burne their fingers. Our Age sees many of these Babels, whose Ruines will seeme greater a far off then at hand: But to the matter:

First (without the helpe of State-Spectacles) behold a King se­lected, whose Royall and Christian Reputation, Envie it self could not, nor dared to sully, enthroned in the hearts of a numerous and Loyall People, thrice happy in his Royall Consort, and [...] [Page]pledges of their mutuall loves, and our succeeding peace in their assured Succession; stor'd with crowded Magazines of Military pro­visions; at Sea powerfull above his Ancestors, by a formidable Na­vie; governing his people in peace and prosperity; a King altoge­ther worthy of such a Kingdom.

Next cast your eye upon a Church so full of Lustre, Order, and Discipline, so garnished and enriched with Learning and Piety, so pure a forme, as any Story or observation can attribute to any since Christianity became a profession. Next looke upon a lustrious No­bility, a flourishing Gentrie, plentifully sharing dignities and trusts in the Military, and Civill Magistracy, an obedient, peacefull, and contented Commonalty. The few opposers or interrupters of the peace of both Governments, being so few, that they scarce justified the name of a number: our Cities envied by our neighbours for their Government, opulency in present enjoyments, and assured growth of an encreasing Trade; a Land populous, plenteous, and at unity with it selfe, admitting of no meanes, or diminution, but Mi­racle or War to bring it to miserie and confusion, and the meanes how to beget such a War, so soone to ruine all this happinesse, being of no lesse extent then a Miracle. Now how unhappy we are, look backward at so much blessing, and to say it was; let the Ingenious Reader judge.

But now let us looke forward to our own present Reformed con­dition of all this happinesse; See a King rejected in his good name of King, and Christian, blasphemed: made poore by the losse of the poore deceived, and seduced hearts of an abused and seduced people; divorced from his Royall Consort, (a crime cursed upon Record) kept from the sight of his deare and Princely Issue; disper­sed like a scatter'd Couvie; His succession become disputable, and though a King, yet truckt for, bought and sold, and now redu­ced to far lesse power then the Master of a private Family; A new Modelled Court, having not so much as the footsteps left of its for­mer Beauty and Civility; A Church shuffled to indistinction; de­grees unadmitted; Sects, Schismes, and Blasphemies, in this time, and Kingdome, vying with all those of past Ages, and Forraigne Nations: Behold a Nobility clouded by the promilenous foggs ari­sing from their inferiours, their Honours made Arbitrary, and no longer to continue then the Common Rout shall think convenient; A Gentry discountenanced by an introduced Party, awed by Te­nants, and Servants, impoverished by long Sequestrations, and se­cond [Page]purchases of their owne lawfull Inheritance; A giddy Com­munalty, tumultuous, desiring something, but as yet they know not what, nor bound to discover till they know themselves: Their freedoms, liberty of person, property of Estates given away, and be­come meere Notions, and not vindicable, nor preservable by Law; Cities dispeopled, untraded, and impoverished by reason of extorting Committees, and Excises, &c. and as much confusion of Government, as diversity of opinions; All able proficients in Divi­nity and Law, upon the refusall of a not understood (or too well understood) Covenant, outed their free holds, and Lawfull Rights, and in their places a supply of men would perswade the world there were a designe to encrease and propagate Devotion by an Introduction of Ignorance, which appeares by Lawyers pleading, and Ministers Preaching; Ordinances against the known Lawes of God and the Nation; A Land overwhelmed with inundations of Bloud, harrassed and worne out by payes and quarterings, and almost growne wild for want of husbandry: And all this by a War raised by our selves for Reformations sake, acted and prosecuted by and upon our selves, as if we had in Cymerian darkenesse lost the Spirits of sober Christians, and grop't out the fury of inflamed Bac­chinalls, and could find no place to scoure our long rustied Swords, other then our owne naturall Bowels.

It is a heightned and Superiative affliction to a diseased person, so only to be made to understand his defects, as to know them to be irrepairable.

To close up all, I have annexed a Morall Table worthy the peru­sall, Entitled Gryps.

GRYPS.

THe Griffon well allied, and great in power,
Made challenge to be generall Emperour
Of beasts, and birds; whose title to decide,
A generall Councell was proclaimed wide
Through all the world, and every bird and beast
Together met, the greatest, and the least.
'Mongst these some crawling serpents, some with feet,
And some with wings did at this Councell meet,
And claim'd the place of peece, and did alleadge
Full many ancient Lawes of priviledge
For their high honour; but the chiefe was this;
They prov'd themselves beasts out of Genesis.
But when that Law was read, and it was found,
Their treason brought a curse upon the ground;
That ever since their poison did annoy
Both birds and beasts, and oft did both destroy;
Cloaking their fraud, guilding their villany
With ancient universall unity;
Betraying truth with darke ambiguous lies,
And cosening man of blessed Paradise:
Adulterating, purging of the sence
Of holy Writ under a good pretence:
They had by generall voice, strict banishment
From comming near this Court of Parliament:
And now the rest proceed; but by the way
Arose another cause of some delay:
Comming to choose a Speaker, bold Jack-daw
Would interpose his skill, and vouch a Law,
(The Law of Parasites) that each one might
Speak what him list, 'gainst reason, or 'gainst right,
And that no speaker needed, ought to be,
Where such a mixture was; for if quoth he,
We choose a bird, the beasts will all dissent
If they a beast, we shall be discontent.
This speech, though true in part, did all off end,
Because they saw his busie tongue did bend
To crosse all businesse, and his wit devise
To change the firmest knots to nullities.
So they agreed together in this sort,
To cut his nimble tongue a little short;
For saucy tatling, where he should not teach.
And being silent where he ought to preach.
But he avoids this sentence with a quirke,
Pleading of old he longed to the Kirke,
Though seldome he came there; and each one tooke
Him for no Clarke, untill he claim'd his booke.
Then they perceiv'd his skill, and soone discerned
How he to flatter and backbite was learned;
Could mount a steeples top, and with the winde
Turne like the weather-cocke his ready minde,
Serving the time: therefore they onward passe
To choose a Speaker; some would have the Asse,
Because he could diminish nought nor adde,
But truth deliver, were it good or bad:
Yet most mislik'd that choise, and those pronounce
The Parrot fit, and some the nimble Ounce;
Some the sweet Nighting all, and some the Dog,
And some the Fox, the Baboone, some the Hog;
Some Robin red-brest, or the speckled Thrush;
Some Chantecleere, and some the Woodcock flush;
Some chose the Ape, and some mislike his voice,
So sundry factions rise from this hard choice.
At last the Elephant perswades withall
To take an equall course, and man to call
As speaker, Judge, and umpier in this thing,
Being by nature the worlds generall King.
And he most fit t' appoint and to depute
His owne Imperiall bird-beast substitute.
To this they all consent, and to this end
In humble wise to Man this message send:
That he their Patron, Governour, and Lord,
Would daigne this mighty difference to accord
With reason and authority. His consent
Is soone obtain'd: now gins the Parliament,
In which the Griffon thus begins his plea:
Grand Emperour of Aire, Earth, and Sea;
I challenge by prerogative and birth,
To be your Vicar generall on th' Earth,
O're birds and beasts: The beasts I ought command,
Because upon foure feet like them I stand.
The birds I ought to rule, cause I can flie
With these my wings like them, and soare as hie:
I doe surpasse the beasts in having wings,
The birds in leggs, in taile, and other things:
My force doth match the Lyons, and my heart
The Eagle, or excels them in each part.
Your doome I therefore claime, that I may be
Plac'd equall to my worth in soveraignty:
And next your selfe the Emperour be of Earth,
According to the priviledge of my birth.
Then spake the Elephant, and said, that he
Ought over beasts the only Lord to be:
His strength was great, & more then others far,
His Honours more purchas'd in manly war:
His learning more, the letters understanding,
And aptly doing all, wise man commanding.
'Gainst him up rose the Syre of Bankes his horse,
And challeng'd him to trie wit, worth, & force.
This grew to heate, but then the mighty Rucke
Soone parts the fray, each did from other plucke;
Desires she might be heard, her challenge was
To rule all birds, since she all birds did passe.
The Wren straight hopt about, & said, his name
Did shew from what a royall stocke he came.
And every bird and beast, the great and small,
Had his ambitious ayme to governe all.
Which having made, in silence all sate downe,
Being over-awed with mans Emperiall frowne.
Each fear'd, each hop'd, until at length the Man
Rose up, and to determine thus began:
I was your Master made, you made for me,
And whatsoever in the Globe there be,
Hid or revealed, 'tis mine. And I alone
Sole Emperor am, under that only One.
Nor doubt you this; the question now in hand
Is for the under Kingship of my land;
For 'tis not fit that I should troubled be
With every toy, when subjects disagree:
But that my President should still be nigh,
Your doubts and jarres t'appease and rectifie.
It only rests to shew what parts are fit
For government: That's courage, strength & wit:
Mercy and justice, and the guard to those,
Awe to command, dexterity to dispose.
If any part of these be separate,
The rule is most imperfect, and the State
Fals to contempt, the lawes are trodden downe,
The scepter broken, and despis'd the Crowne.
This shewes how many here have vainly sought
For one good part, the wreath that many ought.
That nor the Ruck, the Elephant nor Horse,
Are fit to governe for their matchlesse force:
Nor for their wit alone; for then the Oxe
Might make his claime too, and the subtile Foxe
Much lesse the silly Wren for honor'd house,
Nor the cat-fearing, Elephant-frighting-Mouse
For these would breed contempt, & Athens owle
Might challenge so night rule of every sowle.
Nor is it meet this Griffon should obtaine,
What by pretence of right he seekes to gaine,
Because his title halts on either side,
Except in halves, he will himselfe divide.
He is no beast: his tallents, wings, and head
Conclude against his challenge in my stead.
Nor yet a bird: his body, leg's, and tayle
With evidence his arguments doe quaile.
But if where proofe lyes hid, we may proceed
By probabilities; from spurious seed
He took his being, and would neither love,
Being like to neither, but a Tyrant prove.
And where he boasts his wondrous strength and hart
It's false he doth pretend, because that part
Which shewes him Lyon-like in shape, hide, hair,
Doth of the Kingly-Lyon stand in feare.
And that birds part which he from th' Eagle took,
On the sky-towring Eagle dares not look.
The Lyon therefore I ordaine and make
The King of beasts; his awfull voice shall shalt
The proudest spirit. And the Eagle shall
Be King of Birds, and overlooke them all.
This sentence past, the Parliament arose,
And with these rules of truth the Sessions close.
Epimythium.
Who seeks two swords to sway, hath right to none,
Who seeks two offices is not fit for one:
Who seeks two callings, takes too much in hand:
Who hath two faiths, doth true to neither stand.
One sword, one office, Calling, and one faith
Is fit for one Man; so this story saith.
FINIS.

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