I am not minded to trouble you with a long Preface to a short and true story, or to make a doore bigger than the whole House: therefore I come to the subject now in hand: there be 3. sorts of Decoyes, viz. Knights of the Post, or Setters, Pimps, and Decoy-Ducks themselves: The first is to give false testimony in suits of Law, and to betray men into the Sargeants claws: The second doe commonly bring in wandring peccant wenches to Gentlemens Chambers: and the third, is the De­coy Duck it selfe, for bringing alwayes store of gaine to his Masters profit, as they doe in many Fen-Countries, both in England and Hol­land: But in this our witty age, of deeper speculation, there is found out a fourth sort of Decoyes; to wit, a Bishop Decoy, who was highly fed at Bugden, and thought fit to have taken his flight of late to Cawood, but stormes arising, and the wind being contrary, took wing for West­minster, &c. where being fatned, he began to quack too loud, and too often, and flutter too much, or too little: till at last he was coop'd up, and his black and white wings pinion'd, till he was growne tame, and held fitting for use and service: This Lincoln-shire Duck thus held at length fit for flight, and strongly opinion'd, boasted like the Decoy Duck unto his feeder, that if once he was permitted to flie abroad, he had that skill and knowledge in all parts and fenny Countries and sea-coasts, creeks, Ponds, Marshes, and Rivers, and so much as the very Rivulet from from the See of Rome, &c. So having like a Decoy Duck, got his break­fast, and liberty in a serene calme time, intended to bring Praise and L [...]ud to himselfe, or hee with other of the same feathered Foules un­to him.

Suppose this our Decoy Duck is flowne, and let loose in a faire bright and Sun-shine day, the wind sitting fairely for his purpose: at first flight he did light upon a small parcell of young Ducks, who at first (at his faire feathers, and beautifull aspect) the yonger Ducks began to rise and fly away: But hee being a skilfull Quacker, courted them in their own Tone, quacking and saying, I am your Countrie-man: What are you af­fraid of mee, my young pretty Ducklings? I am of the same feather, and flight as you are: but are there no more of our owne flock and kind hereabouts in this faire season? to whom they answered, oh yes, brother [Page]Foule: But where keepe they, and where feed they? they old him on Lambeth side, &c. So at length they being taken with admiration, with his comely feathers and good quacking, brought him unto the whole flock, where they (as well as the other) stood at first amazed, some Dacks fearing him to bee a Goose-Hauke, others a Faulkon; some ima­gined him to bee an Eagle, so not daring to stand any longer, tooke wing and flew compasse, to see what would become of the Residentia­ties that quackt with him; they that were flowne aloft scenting him by the wind, smeld he had beene some hous'd Duck, because hee smelt so strong of his former Coop, having not had the liberty of ayre and wing, as they themselves had: divers were different in their conceits, some tooke him to bee a Buzzard in Quarto, others a Peacock in Folio; but at length all fears being layd aside, and great flocking being made about him, they that hovered above, left the wing, and mixt themselves with the whole flocke. Being all then setled, the Decoy begins thus in quacking language; Good Brethren of a Feather, as I feare not but that you are, I desire you all of the stronger Wing to declare in what Coast you feed in, and in what nest you were hatcht in: and because I see so many of you so leane, that you are not able to flye and maintaine any length of flight, some greedily feeding and swallowing downe gravell, grasse, and weeds, and wormes and such poore food that I am sory for to see such leane carkasses, and thinne bodies amongst my Brother Ducks.

• The first quackt, ‘I am Durham bred.’
• The second quackt, ‘Lichfield and Coventrie.’
• The third quackt, ‘Norwich.’
• The fourth quackt. ‘Asaph.’
• The fifth quackt, ‘Bath and Wells.’
• The sixt quackt, ‘Hereford.’
• The seventh quackt, ‘Oxford.’
• The eighth ‘Ely.’
• The ninth ‘Gloucefler.’
• The tenth ‘Peterborough.’
• The eleventh ‘Landaffe.’
• And I confesse, fellow Fowles, I was of Lincolne.

Upon which Confession, they all clapt their wings, and quackt for joy of their long absent brother: Then sayd the Decoy Duck, I thanke you for opening and declaring your breasts and spreading your wings so freely to me. I protest unto you, that if you will follow my advise and Protestation, I will bring you from this grosse feeding where you now are, unto a place wherein you shall have variety and plenty; in stead of want, you shall have fulnesse, in stead of wormes you shall have whe [...] [Page]instead of Grasse, you shall have wild Oates; in stead of Duck-weed, you shall have Ducks meat; in stead of Gravell, you shall have Gravee, and Graves Wine; instead of Paddocks, you shall have Pullets and Pancakes; and in stead of Froggs, you shall have Fritters.

Hereupon the miscelenous Ducks for want of meat, desiring to sur­baite themselves, as also desirous of case, and not to fly for every dayes food so far as they used, resolved with clapping of wings, and quacking of Bills to whatsoever he their said brother. Duck should write, de­clare, and protest. So they consenting to his Will and Protestation, re­solved to soare a high flight; where being all alighted and conglo mera­ted in a secret and convenient place, which was after their first flight, be declared his whole mind unto them freely: where he made a pir­scription what he intended; enjoyning them that they should never reveale who discovered this dainty Dyet, pleasing Rivers, warme Cli­mate, safe Creeks; upon which they all consented, and made a generall resolve whatsoever hee their brother Duck should determine, they would willingly subscribe unto.

I know, quoth the decoy Duck, all the parts of this Climate; East, West, North and South; the Civill and Common Lawes of the Country, and know how to avoid and wave all the Fowlers gins and snares, though never so closely laid: Be not afraid, nor doe you quake my brethren, I doe protest unto you all, that I will accompany you whither soever you will goe; my life and feathers, brother Ducks, is as good, and as trim as any of yours: I can tell you when we come neare any Keeper, or Master of the Game, I can smell him by his powder and slint; especially if hee have a purse by his side: O bravely protested, and most freely declared, quackt all the Ducks; come let us remove from this barren soyle & take wing: Although this our brother Duck (quackt all the Ducks) hath not frequented our company of late, or hath bin of our gang; yet he leading the way, and in the first range, is subject to the most danger. I, I quoth the Decoy, I will secure you all, seeing you have subscribed and protested as I have done, for I know which way the wind sits, when I turne my Mill, to grind my Corn: imagine they are all upon the wing, and follow this their Leader and Decoy Ducks Rule, Prescript, and Protestation: avowing they would ayd him in whatsoever he undertook or propoun­ded: beleeving that this Decoy quacked as he had bin some Oracle: yet some of these Ducks being more subtile then the rest, doubted and fea­red very much: yet as the old Proverbe saith, Birds of a feather will fly together, so they did for company; and comming neare to the stately Pond, or River, which the Decoy told them of, whereon grew upon the bankes all sorts of graine fit for their pallets, which having viewed and tasted, they all liked this place exceeding well; which made the [Page]rest of the Duckes which were fearefull, and loytering behind. and ho­vering upon the wing, and seeing all safe and secure and sure from com­pany, to light and take their pastime with the rest of their fellowes: where they fell a feeding, and washing and dabling themselues, in such a manner; some quacking, some clapping their wings to see such a plea­sant River, and such variety of meate: The old Decoy still drawing them on, and swimming before them like a valiant Leader: At length some of the for most Ducks which had good eyes, espyes a stately House; at which being amazed and affrighted, quacks, and flyes back, and askes their brother Duck what stately place that was which had so many brave Towers and Pinacles upon it: The Decoy Duck quackt againe to them, and said they need not feare, there was no body did lodge in it, nor no danger could come unto them: Nay, then goe forwards quackt all the Duckes, for we have subscribed and protested to follow you our Captaine: So on they swam in a stately manner, diving, and ducking, and pruning themselves; And being come to the place of their abode and safety, not regarding what Arches were over their heads or what Bridges they swam under, still looking forwards; At that very instant the Floud-gate of the aforesaid River was clapt too, and a Net flung over their heads: then they all began to quack, and to make such hidious cryes, what with their clapping their wings, that it was heard even like an Eccho round about the Country: especially to the Family of the aforesaid House, which newly arived there at the same houre: who came to the River side, and beheld those Crea­tures with an amazement, because of their faces and severall shapes: some of the family asked why they made such a breach, and trespassed against the custome of that place, saying, could they not keepe within their owne limits, but contrary to all Rights and Priviledges com­mit this out-rage: Others asked them how came they hither; then came some of the Owners of the place, and questioned with them, and asking them who inticed and draw them to this eminent place: They all quacked and said; Our brother Sugden Duck, hee Protested hee would bring us to a safe, and a secure place, and wee his brother Ducks thinke hee hath done so indeede: Then quoth the Owners of the Ri­ver, hee hath played the Decoy Duck with you all, and hath not onely brought in you, but himselfe also in the same danger. O Sir, he promised he would bee our Leader, and venter his life, and all his Feathers, if any hazard or danger come on it: Moreover, that h e would be our defender and Keeper, though hee sealed it with his bloud: Sure said the Owners you are all of a Nest, though not at the same time hatcht up, your white wings, and blacke lists downe the back: doth [Page]manifest the same: though you, faces bee like men, yet you have fowle bodies: Quack, quack, quack, quoth some of them, and said, wee are of severall Climates, though feathered all alike; but meerely brought in hither by our Captaine Duck, who now shewes himselfe a plaine Arch Decoy Duck: I never heard said the Owners, but of one Arch Decoy Duck before that was ever taken, but hee came in all alone, and brought no body with but himselfe: But this your Captaine De­coy Duck, hee hath brought in good store, five Couple, and one odde Duck besides himselfe.

Call the Poulterer hither, some of you, that hee may view these faire Flocke of Ducks, and see which is for Service, and which is for the Dish: and put the rest into the White House: Quack, quack quoth all the Ducks, when they heard that; saying, we are all betrayed, and made young Ducklings of.

O mercy, quoth some of the Ducks, shew mercy; I was brough in by a wild: Another quackt, and said, hee thought it onely a matter of custome, and Protested for forme sake: Another quackt and said, hee did subscribe onely that hee would be conformable to the rest of his brother Ducks; Another, that he thought hee had beene in Armenia, where all things are at free will and at liberty; Another, amongst the rest said, that they depended and trusted upon their brother Duck for their Ke [...]per; Another whose over hot zeale bad taken such a cold, that hee could not for seaven yeares together bee heard quack­ing in a Pulpit; Another could make no Answer to cleare himselfe, but his eyes directed as to his Leader, and seemed to say, Thy wicked perswasions hath undone us, proud Arch Duck; One above the rest Pe­titions that he might send for a friend and kinsman to bayle him, and being demanded who he would send for, quackt, and said his Cousen Doctor Duck: Answer was made that hee was sicke of the Gout, and could not come; besides it was cold weather, and dangerous for his health to sly abroad: quack quoth the Duck, and said, hee will come forth in all weathers for a double Fee; especially if hee bee lapt in a Lambs skin. Come, I say you must goe with my Poulterer, come leave your ducking, diving, and bowing, and your cringing to me; doe not take me for an Altar: Some of you speak like Diocestors, and thought your faces resemble men, yet you have foule bodies and dangerous re­servations within your hearts. But what is that paper which is about your Brother Ducks neck, let me see, O it is a Coppy of the New Oath: let me see it, that I may understand the contents, and view the substance of each particular. And so I leave you and your brother Ducks, to the next flight, which will be suddenly to Westminster.