I SHALL begin with a remarkable Passage that happen'd very lately; which I hope may serve by Way of Caution to all young Ladies, who are industriously searching out the Knowledge of Ill, with a pious Design to avoid it.

Aminda and Ciladira, two very hand­some, well-bred, religious, young Women, of the first Rank in the City; I'll assure you, Ladies of the nicest Reputation, which may be observ'd in their grave Looks and sedate Behaviours, and I believe may just­ly deserve the Character of Women of Ho­nour. They are kept under great Restraints by their Parents; which, with a natural [Page 6]Desire of adding new Conquests to a Crowd of Admirers, has put them upon an Hu­mour of regaling themselves in private, and, as often as Opportunity serves, to go in Search of Adventures, by Way of A­musement; which Diversions they have follow'd for some Time, with great Suc­cess, both at Home and Abroad, and never fail to return victorious. This has encou­rag'd 'em to proceed with greater Resoluti­on than ever, being obstinately opinionated of their own Conduct.

These Ladies are pretty often seen at Hide-Park, under the Custody of Ciladira's Mother; but one Day having got the Coach to themselves, the Weather being extream pleasant, were resolv'd not to lose Time and Opportunity, but gave Orders forthwith to be set down at a Relation's in Westminster; where, after a short Visit, they dismiss'd the Coach, with a Message, that they were oblig'd to stay there at Sup­per, and should take a Hack to come Home. They had another Excuse as ready to the Lady of the House, for taking Leave in such Haste; and accordingly make the best of their Way for St. James's-Park, where they had not been long, before they had the Pleasure to find their Beauty at­tract all Eyes; and no Doubt but they heard a great many Sighs and Whispers, as [Page 7]they mov'd thro' the gazing Crowd of Beaux that flutter'd around 'em: All which pass'd for good Omens, tho' as yet none durst assume the Courage to attack 'em. At last, one more daring than the rest, draws near, keeps Pace, curiously surveys and attends their Motions. They took the Hint, views him as strictly, and by his Garb, Air, and Deportment, easily per­ceiv'd him, as they imagin'd, to be of Qua­lity. He had not waited long for an Op­portunity to introduce his Discourse, be­fore one offers it self; which was, to re­solve something they were disputing on. The Ladies being bent on a Frolick, if they lik'd the Person that should make an Attempt, were not very hard of Access, and especially to so fine a Gentleman as this, endeavour'd to make themselves as plea­sing and agreeable as possible. The Hero is so absolutely charm'd with their Ap­pearance and Conversation, that he be­lieves himself no longer on Earth; Or ra­ther, said he, these are real Goddesses, de­scended from their Celestial Habitations, not only to dazzle the Eyes, and inflame the Hearts, but to punish all with Death, who have the daring Impudence to approach 'em. And being now darkish, claps down on his Knees, closes his Hands, and implores Par­don for his sacrilegious Attempt. The [Page 8]Girls, seeing themselves thus idoliz'd, be­gan to think there was something in it. Immediately one fancies she is Diana, and the other Pallas; but upon farther Reflex­ion, found they had Reason to confess themselves meer Mortals, and subject to Human Frailties; as indeed it prov'd in the Conclusion. Damon was very difficult­ly brought to believe they were so: But however, finding his Company did not dis­please, ventures from one Degree to ano­ther, to come to a better Understanding with them. He knew the World through­ly, or at least the baser Part; and easily judg'd who he had to deal with. Their Innocence and Rank, were visible in their Persons and Behaviours; so that he needs not make much Search into that, but took Opportunity, on all Occasions, to let them understand his Quality, as in this Manner; We were a great many Noblemen at Dinner with the Duke of — to Day; and when any Body answer'd him, it was, My Lord, says he, or your Lordship may com­mand me on all Occasions, and so on, with a great many very entertaining Stories. After some Time spent thus agreeably, the Ladies were oblig'd to think of returning Home. Damon eagerly presses for the Ho­nour to hand 'em into their Coach. They answer'd, that was already dismiss'd, and [Page 9]should therefore spare him that unnecessa­ry Trouble. He then offers 'em his Cha­riot and Equipage that waited; and to com­pleat the Victory, he declar'd Aminda had gain'd over his Heart, and that he himself would attend at her Chariot Wheels. This great Complement and Condescention, in a Person of this Distinction, serv'd to en­crease that good Opinion and Esteem she had already receiv'd of him. However, this Offer could not be accepted, for seve­ral Reasons, which he suffer'd himself to be convinc'd of; but still persisted in his Design of conducting them safe Home, and pretended he must step on one Side, and leave Orders with his Servants where to wait on him afterwards. He was no soon­er gone, but Aminda began to extol his Person and extraordinary Qualifications, to the highest Degree imaginable, and said she found so much Difference between the Con­versation of a Man of Quality, and that of a private Gentleman, that indeed she be­liev'd she should hardly prevail with her­self hereafter, to make the latter a tolera­ble civil Answer, if he should ever attempt to make Love to her. Whether Ciladira had really a truer Taste, or whether it was En­vy to her Companion, because he address'd himself more particularly to her, said she could not believe him what he would ap­pear [Page 10]to be; and would have continu'd on that Subject, but Aminda would by no Means encourage such dishonourable Ap­prehensions. By this Time Damon was re­turn'd, and made what Haste he could to usher 'em into a Hackney-Coach he had provided, where they were no sooner en­ter'd, but he began to entreat they would permit him to treat 'em with some Jellies, and Ice-Creams, at White's Chocolate-house, The Windows being drawn up, it was im­possible to discover them. These, with a great many other Perswasions, prevail'd, and the Ladies grow easy, and extreamly delighted; upon whieh, the Spark takes Advantage to recommend innocent Diversi­ons above all Things, and rails at all im­pertinent old Women; who, because they are past the Enjoyments of Life, are envi­ous of those who ought to possess 'em, and render Pleasures as dangerous and pernici­ous, with frightful Ideas, devis'd to keep Fools in Ignorance, and so consequently under their Jurisdiction; but that so much Beauty, with all the Perfection Nature could bestow, was not given 'em with Design to be bury'd in Oblivion: And to depart out of the World, just as they came into it, would prove to little purpose. Those strong Arguments overcame all the weak ones they could bring in Opposition, and [Page 11]at last were oblig'd to yield the Debate, re­sign to his Discretion for that Time, and suffer themselves to be convey'd to a Ta­vern in the Hay-Market. I beg the La­dies Pardon, for speaking so very plain; but however, if they can keep their own Countenance, and refrain from blushing, it shall never go farther for me. After a splended Entertainment, and abundance of Compliments pass'd on all Sides, it grew late, and the Ladies were very uneasy to be going Home. He said it was too early yet, desires 'em to take off their Glasses with Chearfulness, and be thankful. This Speech gave them the first Allarm; but they did not know whether to take it as Jest or Earnest. He goes on, and bids 'em consider between themselves, whether they would both or one go Home with him to his Lodgings. Upon this, they ask'd, with a great deal of Indignation, which suffici­ently express'd their Surprize and Resent­ment, what he meant, and who he took them for. He answers: Look ye, Ladies, ye may put on Disguise, and give your selves what Airs you please; but at this Time ye have miss'd your Aim. I know the World too well to be impos'd on. You'll guess, by this Time, Aminda began to re­pent her Choice of a Lover, and Ciladira as much enrag'd to have her Judgment neg­lected, [Page 12]gave her Friend a severe Reprimand for drawing her into the Snare, contrary to her own Inclinations, which perhaps their utmost Care and Politicks could not disentangle. Aminda falls upon him with high Words, in Hopes to over-power him that Way; but finding this Stratagem fail, [...] was oblig'd to alter the Scheme, and endeavour to sooth him into good Nature. At last, with abundance of Difficulty, they manag'd it so as to quit the House, but could not possibly get quit of the Rascal. He was resolv'd to pursue 'em to Destruction, lays violent Hands on Aminda, dragging her towards the Strand, pinching and tor­menting her in a grievous Manner. Cila­dira pursu'd as fast as she could, and both join'd their Prayers and Entreaties in vain to this inflexible Barbarian; for all the Return they could get, was, That when he met with such Jilts, he knew how to use 'em: That they had urg'd him to spend a great deal of Money, he could employ much better; and swore he would have Satisfa­ction one Way or other, before they part­ed; and would therefore give 'em three Things to chuse, viz. Go and lie with him all Night, or be secur'd in the Round-house, or else return all the Money he had depo­sited on their Accounts. Ciladira was glad to find they might have their Liberty on [Page 13]this last Condition, and desir'd to know how much they were indebted to him; he answer'd, Five Guineas. She was then at as great a Loss as ever, knowing at that Time they had scarce one between 'em; but said, if he would let them know where to direct, she would give her Word and Honour it should be sent him next Day without fail. As this Scoundrel had no Notion of Honour, so it prov'd to as little Purpose to make him such Propositions. He saw 'em well dress'd, and adorn'd with Jewels of considerable Value, especially Aminda, whom he made his particular Ward; and, like a true Infernal, never ceas'd to torture and afflict, besides tearing her fine lac'd Lappits and Ruffles all to Rags. He observ'd Ciladira had only a Gold Watch and Diamond Ring, which he bid her leave in his Custody, 'till she could per­form her Promise; but not being willing to do this, he order'd her to pawn 'em at a Tavern in St. Martins-Lane, where he had dragg'd them with Design for that Round-house, if other Projects fail'd. By this Time the Watch had Notice, and were hastening to secure them all; which Ciladi­ra prevented, by declaring their Innocence and Disaster in so moving a Manner, toge­ther with a little Money to drink her Health, that she prevail'd upon them to [Page 14]withdraw. She runs in this Confusion, and procur'd the Money, deliver'd it to him im­mediately, and demands her Companion, who stood trembling, lamenting, and almost dying in the Hands of her Persecutor. He tells her they had not adjusted all Mat­ters yet; but for her own Part, since she had defray'd the Expences he had been at, he was content to permit her the Freedom of going Home when she pleas'd; but for this little saucy Jilt, he had another Rec­koning to make with her, both for her In­solence, and his Loss of Time, which she must account for before they part. This last Demand struck them into the great­est Horror and Defpair imaginable, while he redoubled his Oaths to make her a pub­lick Example. Ciladira, who has a Soul truly brave and compassionate, disdaining the mean Considerations of Self-Preserva­tion, chose rather to undergo those present Inconveniencies, together with the Hazard of future Advantages, than to abandon her Friend in Distress, desir'd to know how she must redeem her from Bondage. Bully answer'd, the Thing depended on herself, that Diamond Cross which hangs, as a need­less Addition, on her more illustrious Bo­som, will pawn for ten Guineas, to pur­chase her Liberty. Aminda was cut to the Heart, with the Apprehension of losing [Page 15]her belov'd Ornaments, to which she is so extreamly bigotted, that she would endan­ger her eternal Reputation, and suffer all the Punishment he could inflict, rather than part with any one of them. Ciladira know­ing her Temper and Resolution, went and engag'd her Watch, as she had before her Ring, and was returning, when a Gentle­man seiz'd her in his Arms, calling her Angel and Goddess, with a great many such Speeches. She was ready to swoon at the Repetition of what had betray'd her to this; but seeing some promising Appearan­ces in him, she cast herself at his Feet, and begg'd he would pity a distressed Maid. He was extreamly mov'd with her Request; and looking upon her with a more different Regard than those who are accustom'd to such Disorders, generously offer'd his Assi­stance against all Insults or Affronts that might be offer'd her, and that he was re­solv'd to protect and defend her with the last Drop of his Blood. This Cavalier is a Colonel in the Army, has a great deal of Honour, and real Courage, which he had signaliz'd on several Occasions. Ciladira was much comforted to meet with a Knight-Errant; but however, to prevent a Quar­rel, least it might prove a Means to expose 'em, clapt the Guineas into his Hand, catch'd Hold of Aminda, return'd him ma­ny [Page 16]Thanks, and so would have parted. No Doubt the Sharper was well satisfy'd with this, especially when he saw a Gentleman who said he was a near Relation, and sus­pecting something more than ordinary, took Hold of his Hand, and desir'd to know for what Reason he had receiv'd that Money; would have urg'd him in to drink a Bottle of Wine, and inform him how far he was oblig'd to him on the Account of those La­dies. The poor Fellow, who durst not contend with any but those who could not defend themselves, turn'd pale as Death, shrunk back, and only said the Ladies were very welcome, bow'd, and wish'd it had been in his Power to have serv'd them far­ther. Ciladira was glad to let this pass, least he should discover any Thing to their Disadvantage, and said, that the Obliga­tions they had to this Gentleman, were for freeing 'em from the Clamour of a Hackney Coach-man, who had impos'd a great deal more than his Due, and not having Mo­ney enough about 'em, he had been so kind to lend 'em a Crown, which was what he saw her return him. This pass'd pretty well on all Sides, and the Spark made off as fast as he could, throughly glad of this Night's Success. The Colonel begg'd to 'squire them Home, and did not fail to make abundance of Complements by the [Page 17]Way, for the Honour they had done, in admitting him rather than the other: But having cast his Eyes on Aminda, and ob­serving her Cloths so disorder'd, and her Looks so sorrowful, imagin'd she had had foul Play, and with Difficulty brought 'em to confess their ill Usage, tho' they care­fully omitted that Part of the Story that reflects on their Conduct. He chid 'em se­verely for not putting it in his Power to retrieve their Losses, and chastise the Vil­lain. At parting, he extreamly importun'd Ciladira to honour him with a Line or two, directed to Man's Coffee-house; which she promis'd to do, as a grateful Acknow­ledgment for the Service he had done them; and I suppose went to Bed sufficiently mor­tify'd with their Adventure.

AMongst all my Acquaintance, I never observ'd any so compleatly whimsi­cal, and remarkable of herself, (and is that they call something so entirely out of the Way) as Lady Tuneal. She is a Woman of Quality, a great Pretender to Vertue, Wit, and Discretion, with a Mixture of Philosophical Notions, and may with Ju­stice stile herself—a Person—every Way distininguishable; and tho' she be a pro­fess'd [Page 18]Man-hater, yet has nevertheless, thro' the Sollicitations of her Friends, been pre­vail'd with to enter into a conjugal State, much to her own Dissatisfaction; but had the good Fortune, after some few Years, to be releas'd from him to whom she cause­lessly bore so much Aversion, and plac'd as the Center of all her Uneasiness and Dis­quiets. She is so far from playing the Hypocrite on this Account, that she open­ly declares a Dislike and ill Opinion of all Women, who do not agree with her Sen­timents on the same Occasion, and can ne­ver believe, but that a Woman of Vertue will always esteem it her greatest Blessing to be freed from those filthy—useless—lumbering—Male-Creatures. She has one only Daughter, Heiress to a plentiful For­tune, and every Way deserving, but I think her Ladyship does not seem to place much Joy in her, or indeed any Thing this Earth produces, excepting her most dearly beloved Spinet; to which she is so entirely devoted, that she thinks every Moment lost, that is not employ'd in the Improvement of this out-of-Fashion In­strument of Musick. She not only makes in the Business of her Life; but, as tho' her future Happiness depended thereon, suffers nothing to intercept; but if she be oblig'd sometimes, tho' with great Regret, [Page 19]to receive what she calls impertinent Vists, she is forc'd to sit up very late, nay, often the whole Night, before she can make a Repeti­tion of all her Tunes; which she never fails to do, before she sleeps. She has a singular Method in every Thing she says and does, and is attended with an Imperfection, I suppose rather habitual, than natural; which gene­rally proves the greatest Hinderance to her Employment or Diversion; that is, she can ne­ver speak of the least Thing, or give any ne­cessary Orders in her Family, without Mul­tiplicity of useless Words, and will fetch every Thing so very far about, that it's impossible to guess what she aims to con­clude in. Every one of those Words must be distinctly utter'd, with a Pause which lasts a Minute, or more, according as she requires Time to sigh and breathe in; so that one has lost the Beginning of the Sen­tence, before one can learn the latter End. It's not long since a Lady call'd on me, to wait on Lady Tuneal. We found her at her usual Pass-time, but in pleasanter Temper than ordinary. She no sooner ob­serv'd us in a Posture of going, but she be­gan to intreat our Stay, declar'd she was never better pleas'd in Company, and that she did really esteem us as Persons of Dis­cretion; and therefore hop'd we should dis­pence with her, as to those Formalities and [Page 20]Decorums, which might not answer at this Time with her Conveniency; for having been that Day much interrupted in her Musick, should therefore be oblig'd to sit up late, which always proves extreamly prejudicial to her Health. We beg'd her Ladyship to use us with the same Famili­arity she would her Daughter, or those of her Attendance. After we had been agree­ably enough entertain'd for some Time, with several new Tunes, of which she is never unprovided, at the set Time, accor­ding to her Custom, which is as unaltera­ble as the Laws of the Medes and Persians, she rings her Bell; upon which, Mrs. Smart, her Woman, desires to know her Ladyship's Pleasure. She begins, Smart,— I have call'd you with Intention—to consult—about Supper.—Her Woman propos'd se­veral Things, which I thought proper for Night; but my Lady looks frighted, turns pail, and protests she has given her the Spleen to the highest Degree, in naming such gross Meats at this unseasonable Hour, and at last recovers Breath to cry out,—Smart,— you are a Person—of a hail Con­stitution;—but when a Person—has liv'd so long with—a Person of Quality,—there might be gathering up—some Fragments of Sense,—at least enough to—distinguish them—from the Commonalty:—But—to speak yet [Page 21]plainer still,—tho' with abundance—of Difficulty,—for want of Breath,—as well as Loss of Time,—which to me—is always precious,—very precious,—tho' not so with you,—and the unthinking World;—yet, I do say,—you might have distinguish'd mine—from vulgar Appetites;—have spar'd me all these Considerations,—and have come with—something ready projected,—suitable to the—Delicacy of my Palate,—and Ten­derness—of Constitution withal,—by way of Cordial,—to revive decaying Spirits.—Smart answer'd her Lady, that she had nam'd what she knew of, to be proper in all those Cases; and that she dare say, if the Truth were known, her Ladyship had her­self projected the Supper she design'd, and only urg'd all this to try if she could di­vine; which in all Likelihood might prove as difficult, as it was for the South-Sayers and Magicians to tell King Nebuchadnez­zar not only the Interpretation, but the Dream too: But if she would let her have her Commands in a Word, she should rea­dily be obey'd. The Lady reply'd, Why, truly, Smart,— I have observ'd you to be—a Person—always ready furnish'd—with a Stock of Spirits,—and so consequently al­ways on a Hurry;—and since you will re­duce me—to the Necessity—of naming the Thing—my self, I desire you'll step down— [Page 22]into the Kitchen, and leave Orders—with the Cook—to make me—half a Porringer­of Water-Gruel.—Smart, not a little glad to receive the Message, in Hopes to be dis­miss'd for that Time, was going in all Haste to deliver it, when her Lady calls her back, with a Charge to let it be thin, ve­ry thin. She was no sooner dispatch'd with these second Orders, but was again recal­led to take a more strict one yet, which was, that it must not exceed half a Por­ringer, but rather abate something of half a Porringer, and to be sure that it be Po­verty-Gruel. After this, she falls to sha­king her Fingers on the Spinet, with greater Vehemency than ever; which put her into such Disorder, that she was oblig'd to desist, and recover Strength, by sighing and gasping afresh. Smart finding her La­dy in such Extremities, propos'd to have a Spoon-full of Sack in the Gruel, as a com­fortable Cordial, and might incline her to Rest: Upon which, she sinks into her Chair, struggles for new Life, and pro­fess'd that she was absolutely overcome on­ly with the Name of those—strong—stupi­fying—adulterated—debauch'd—Liquors. After she had supp'd, we took our Leaves; but had the Honour to receive an Invitati­on to dine with her the Week following; and said, she hop'd there was no need to [Page 23]make Apologies for our not eating with her then; as being Persons of hail Con­stitutions, those Evening-Refreshments were needless; and made no doubt but that we had already learnt to know, that when Nature is arriv'd to its full Growth, and no visible Signs of Decay, those superflu­ous Nourishments serve not only to create or increase the ill Humours in the Body, but to raise and cherish ill Dispositions in the Mind.

Amongst the Failings that attend this Lady, and indeed several others of our Sex, this one seems most predominant, through a mistaken Zeal to Vertue; they make too curious Search into those Things they would appear to have the greatest Ab­horrence to; which I shall discover more particularly hereafter, and is what every truly vertuous Woman ought to overlook, and endeavour to keep herself in Igno­rance of; but perhaps they agree with those Words Mr. Dryden makes Lucifer speak in his State of Innocence:

No Doubt but these Words were very pro­per for his Design, and, amongst others of that Nature, had their desir'd Effect; but, [Page 24]on the contrary, as to the latter Part, were I capable to judge or advise, believe it more safe, as much as possible to remain unknowing of all Things that tend to Ill.

HAving been a little indispos'd the last Week, I had the Honour to receive Visits from several of my Acquaintance, most of them being Persons of Distinction and Merit, who, besides the Pleasure they gave me in their Conversations, has encou­rag'd me to entertain a little better Opini­on of my self than ordinary, as finding I am not wholly neglected; I mean by those of my own Sex.

After the first Complements ended, and the Ladies plac'd according to their seve­ral Degrees, Lady Quicksight broke Si­lence; Madam, said she, if it won't be im­pertinent in me to entertain your Company, I'll tell you an Observation I made just now coming through the Mall. I answer'd, Your Ladyship will lay me under a particular Ob­ligation, in doing it in a much more agreea­ble Manner than I am capable of. She made a Return I did not deserve, and went on, I suppose you know, or at least have heard of such a Gentleman, naming him, a Great Statesman, tho' not so particularly [Page 25]address'd to in this present Parliament, as that before the late Revolution in the Mini­stry. I observ'd him in a very pensive Mood, taking several short Turns in the Park, and was as often met by a Nurse with four or five Children, who miss'd no Opportunity of dropping him Curtsies, but was pass'd by a long Time disregarded. At last she bethought herself of another Stratagem, and order'd the Children so as to meet him in a full Bo­dy, and attack him by way of Complement, while she lead up the Rear. This unusual Salutation call'd him from his politick Con­templations. He saw them very pretty, and well dress'd, and was extreamly pleas'd with their Manner of accosting him. He ask'd the Nurse if she belong'd to them, and said, he never saw such fine Children in his Life; and imagining their Parents to be considera­ble, desir'd to know whose they were. The Nurse answer'd, Sir, they are your own, and live in the same House with you. Are they so? says the Father: Indeed I did not know it, nor do I remember I ever saw one of them before. But however, to let the Nurse see he did not disbelieve what she told him, and that he approv'd of her Man­ner of Discipline, gave her a Guinea, and order'd her to take them Home. It's very strange to me, continu'd Lady Quicksight, that a Gentleman, who is both a good Hus­band, [Page 26]and a good Father, and makes it his Endeavour to raise great Fortunes for his Children, should be so extreamly bigotted to publick Affairs, as to remain thus ignorant of his domestick ones, and not know his own Children, tho' they live in the House with him. Not at all, reply'd Delamine; I think it sufficient if he knows his Wife, and con­verses with her. I know a certain Colonel of the Guards, of City Extraction, but having a natural Inclination to what he calls Gal­lantry, went two or three Campaigns into Flanders, in Pursuit of Honour, 'till he lost that little he had; and at last came Home, and purchas'd the Commission he is now pos­sess'd of. This Spark has a Wife and two Children, whom he has made such Stran­gers to him, that he has now almost brought himself to believe there is no such People in the World; and I believe scarce knows any one of them when he meets them; but if by Chance any of his more considerate Compa­nions would be reminding him, he swears it's all Imposition; and knowing the Disad­vantages he has reduc'd them to, hopes, that he has hitherto bully'd them out of a just Maintenance, makes no Doubt in a little Time but to bully them out of their just Claim too, without giving any sufficient Rea­sons for what he says or does. Certainly such a Man must needs be esteem'd heroick, who [Page 27]can thus bravely contend, and triumph over a weak Woman and young Children, because he has put it out of their Power to defend themselves! and if he gains his Ends, I desire we may all petition the Parliament to have him publickly acknowledg'd, and treat­ed as a victorious Conqueror. Delamine would have proceeded farther, but the whole Company unanimously begg'd her to lay aside that Subject, he being the com­mon Theme of Discourse for that, or something equally as ridiculous; tho' at the same Time all own'd he had once been a very pretty Fellow, and so might have continu'd, if he had not took those Me­thods to make himself despis'd by all the rational World. While they were thus busy in Remarks on others, striving who should be most heard, I thought it better Manners to give Attention to, than inter­cept their Talk, 'till at last they told me I had not spoke two Words since they came into the Room. I answer'd, that being conscious of my own Incapacities, together with a due Regard to those who honour'd me with their Presence, was certain I could reap much more Advantage by being a Hear­er, than a Speaker. However, rather than give any Disgust by my Silence, I'll ven­ture to draw a Censure of a contrary Na­ture; and for want of something more a­greeable, [Page 28]shall tell a very odd Thing that lately happen'd to my self, and is one Cause of my present Indisposition. The Ladies all begg'd to hear that, and Lady Quick­sight cry'd, I hope you are not in Love; I never thought you inclining to that Distem­per. Not at all, Madam, said I. Your Ladyship's much more discerning, than the vain Coxcomb that misconstructed me; tho' upon hearing my Story, perhaps you'll say I had as great a Share of Vanity, as he. You must know here is a Gentleman come to lodge in our Neighbourhood, who takes all Opportunities to let me understand he is re­solv'd to keep a very strict Survey over my Acti­ons and Behaviours; so that I am under the greatest Restraints imaginable, to find that I can't stir Abroad, move in my own Apart­ment, or receive Company, but he must have immediate Information; and is so perpetu­ally lolling in his Window, with his Eyes fix'd here, that it's impossible for any Thing to slip his Knowledge. As to my self, there is nothing worth remarking; but what per­plexes me, is poor Amelia. She had ap­pointed to call on me for the Opera; and be­cause we don't duly frequent those Places, she was desirous not to miss any Part of the Entertainment. Having been dress'd in a very great Hurry, she took a sudden Whip from the Coach, to hasten me down Stairs; [Page 29]but had the Misfortune to drop her Shift at the Door, which hung in her Petticoats, and was design'd to have been left at Home: Upon which, the Spark took upon him to burst out into a downright Laughter, tho' he did what he could to smother it, while her Servant took Care to deliver it into my Maid's Custody. You'll guess, Ladies, at the Shame and Confusion this occasion'd us; which increas'd, when we 'sp'd him at our Backs, as soon as we had taken our Places in the Theatre, where I suppose he diverted himself at the Expence of our Blushes. A­melia has never been here since; and for my own Part, I appear as seldom as possible. And is that the only Cause? says Lady Quicksight. When you first began to speak of your Neighbour, I apprehended something more than all this. I found she would pump it out, and thought it more ingenious to do it voluntarily. That is, Madam, said I, what I am going to tell you: This very Gen­tleman finding me use all Industry to avoid him, and that it would continue difficult for him to see me any where but at Church, manag'd it so as to be in the same Pew with me every Sunday, and always places himself either next, or over against me, incessantly ogling, and using several irreverent Gestures, which gives me abundance of Uneasiness. If, to prevent being star'd at, I turn my Head [Page 30]on one Side, he takes Occasion truly to dash his Foot against mine, with Design to set it right again; so that I am oblig'd to keep my Eyes fix'd on my Fan, or look directly over him to the Parson; which methinks gives me a very old-fashion'd Air; for I have ob­serv'd Ladies of the highest Quality, and in the Royal Chappel it self, don't throw away a Look, or misemploy a Thought that Way, but are at full Liberty to compare Jewels, receive and entertain one another with as much Freedom, and as great an Air of Gal­lantry, as in the Drawing-Room, or a Ball at Court. The only Refuge I have under these Restraints, is kneeling; but I'll assure you, my Spark is more a Gentleman, and better bred, than to kneel at Church, or shew the least Devotion; tho' at the same Time I dare say he would not think it beneath him to adore and prostrate himself at the Feet of an insignificaut Mortal, in Hopes by such Means, to draw her to her Ruin, while per­haps he is only despis'd and laugh'd at; which indeed is the just Reward of such En­deavours. When I am to rise, he is offici­ously offering his Hand, and by that Means gains Opportunity to squeeze mine; and, in short, has made all the Advances imagina­ble; so that it were impossible for me to sup­pose him otherwise than a Lover, tho' he had not spoke one Word yet; but that pass'd for [Page 31]want of Assurance, and I ever expected when he would gain Courage enough to make a Declaration of his Passion; not that I had the least Inclination to accept his Proposals, tho' he has a pretty Estate, and considerable Place under the Government; yet there is no Inchantments lodg'd in his Person, so as to make him amiable in my Eyes. Howe­ver, I did not know but he might expect I should take it an Honour; and because I would not seem to lessen his Deserts, or va­lue my own without Cause, I study'd a long Time for an Answer to that imaginary Letter he might send me, and contriv'd it so as he could not think me imperious or fantastical, or that my Refusal was meant in Affront to him, I thought it best to say, that a Sense of my own Imperfections had occasion'd me to vow Celibacy some Time since, as knowing I am unworthy to be belov'd. This Letter lay by me so long, that I began to despair of e­ver having Use for it, and grew a little di­sturb'd, least the Product of my Studies should be lost: But one Evening I had Notice, that the Gentleman's Foot-man over the way had brought a Letter, and would deliver it only to my self. Upon first hearing, I confess I was in twenty Minds, whether to send this I had by me, or not: At last, I found it would be a considerable Time before I could accomplish another, and that I had no more [Page 32]to do with this, but to seal and direct it, and by that Means gain the Reputation of a Woman of a quick Thought. I took his Let­ter, said I would step up and read it, and send down an Answer immediately. The Fel­low told me very briskly, it did not require an Answer, and was gone before I could say another Word. I suppose he had given those Orders, because he was resolv'd to take no Denial; so retir'd into my Closet, and to my Astonishment read this:

It was a long Time before I could recover from the Surprize this Letter had thrown me into, and was really griev'd to find, that one can't blush for a Fellow's Impudence, but he must misinterpret it to Love. At first I was in the Mind to write, and undeceive the Puppy; but upon Consideration, found I should but lessen my self, and increase his Va­nity, by shewing any Regard to it; for the only Way to mortify such Animals, is to scorn and neglect them, and to let the Fool see it was not in his Power to cause me the least Uneasiness. The next Day, being Sun­day, I dress'd my self in the best Cloaths I have, and went to Church with a gayer Air than ordinary; where I had not been long, before I had the Pleasure to find my Opposite had met with a greater Disappointment than my self, and could have laugh'd at his Folly, if I had thought it worth while; but to do Justice on both Sides, I can't say I escap'd al­together unpunish'd for my Pride; for in leaving off my Hood that Day, the Weather being grown cool, I got a very great Cold, [Page 34]which occasions me to keep my Chamber at this Time. The Ladies fell a laughing at my Amour; and by this Time I suppose were pretty well tir'd, and took their Leaves.

I Shall not undertake to give a circum­stantial Account of the unhappy Diffe­rences that arose not long after the Mar­riage, between Sir Bounce Sparkit and his Lady: Tho' her Vertue, Beauty, and eve­ry Merit, were his chief Inducements to enter into the matrimonial State; yet, through the Instigations of his pretended Friends, and her Enemies, he soon grew to an Indifference, and afterwards to a Neglect, or rather ill Ufage, of the only Person in the World that entirely loves, and maintains an inviolable Fidelity to him. Sir Bounce is one of those who pla­ces his whole Felicity in himself, and does not require the Additions a good Wife is capable of giving, to make his Life easy to him; and as he never takes nor gives Rea­sons for any Thing, he thought fit not long since to withdraw to a separate A­partment, and devote himself up to Gal­lantries; while his forsaken Spouse has full Leisure to lament her Unhappiness, [Page 35]or Time and Opportunity, if she pleases, to revenge her Injuries; tho' I believe she never entertain'd a Thought of that Na­ture; but on the contrary, has made it her utmost Endeavours, if possible, to re­trieve her Husband's fleeting Passion: In order to which, she went one Morning to his Chamber, where she found him equip­ping in a riding Habit, and with all the Sweetness in her Looks, and most obliging Terms imaginable, said she was come to Breakfast with him, and to have the Plea­sure of an Hour's Conversation, if he would permit it. He answer'd with a ve­ry haughty Air, that she had made Choice of a wrong Time to gain any of his Com­pany, being in Expectation every Moment of a Gentleman to call of him for Hide-Park; and that if she would shew him any Marks of her Duty and Prudence, she must immediately retire. The Lady began to be a little inrag'd at her cold Reception, and his Ingratitude; and briskly told him, those Cautions were needless, and that she wish'd he would acquit his Duty, as well as she had done her's: Upon this, Sir Bounce commanded her not to talk; but she still disobeying, he order'd his Valet to lead her to her own Apartment. This Indignity was resented to the last Degree; and she did not fail to tell him at parting, [Page 36] It is not long since you would have gone down on both Knees, to have obtain'd the Blessing your self. Under this new Dis­couragement, she flies to Olympa, a young Lady, her near Relation and Confident, who lives with her in the House. It's to her only she opens all her Grievances. O­lympa always endeavours to rally her, out of her Melancholy, and tells her, a Hus­band's Love is not worth preserving; and as she is a true Coquet, declares she can never value any Man farther, than to have the Glory of a Conquest; of which she is so extreamly covetous, that she can't bear the Thoughts of a Cavalier, who is not her profess'd Adorer; and never fails to play the Tyrant, after she has once gain'd a Captive. She will needs have Lady Spar­kit Abroad to divert her; and being in the Morning, and not in an Humour to dress, they walk'd in Dissabil, to make Choice of some Things they had Occasion for at a Miliner's in the Pall-Mall; where, after they had been some Time, were returning Home to Dinner, when Olympa, whose Eyes are always open to gay Appearances, 'spy'd a fine young Gentleman with his Head laid down to sleep in a Tavern Window; the Sash being up, and another standing by with a Whip under his Arm. Upon which, she cry'd, Look, my Dear, do you know ei­ther [Page 37]of those pretty Fellows? Lady Spar­kit immediately recollected she saw her Husband put on that fine lac'd Coat to ride out in the Morning, and that this o­ther was the Friend he expected should call of him; so concluded they were now come back, and would dine there together. While her Thoughts were thus employ'd, he that stood, gave the other a Pluck, who soon wak'd, look'd upon them, and smil'd. They both saw very plain, at that Time, it was Sir Bounce himself; and his Lady was not a little reviv'd at the pleasant Look he had given her, and began to think it was not impossible but that his Mind might now change, as much as it had done be­fore. But however, least her too curious Observation might give any Umbrage, she was going in all Haste; but Olympa ha­ving an Inclination to look back, saw him beckon, and make all the Signs he could to have them stop, 'till he was ready to throw himself out of the Window. She was extreamly pleas'd with his seeming Eagerness to join Companies, and had al­ready doom'd the Stranger her Slave. She tells Lady Sparkit, that she is confident Sir Bounce is grown impatient to come to a Reconciliation; and because she would not seem to have any Designs, tells her, she has now a fair Opportunity to close [Page 38]with her Happiness; which, if lost, may never be retriev'd; and that as it is her Husband who makes this pressing Invitati­on, she ought not to stand upon Deco­rums, or raise any Objections against the Decency of the Place; especially since she knew him to be a Man of that Temper whom nothing can oblige, but an entire Obedience and Resignation to his Will and Pleasure, tho' it appear never so un­reasonable to the World. Lady Sparkit was very inclinable to comply with those Reasonings, but again fear'd his Designs might not be so well, perhaps, as they at first imagin'd. While she remain'd thus dubious, and slowly moving homewards, Philaret, which was the young Stranger, pursu'd and overtook them, who only bow'd, and offer'd her his Hand to lead them back, without saying one Word. She ask'd why Mr. Sparkit would not rather come himself? He answer'd, Madam, I very difficultly prevail'd upon him to permit me the Honour. By the Way, she proceed­ed to ask him several Questions concerning the Park, and if they had brought any o­ther Company with them. To all which he answer'd very Appropo. When they were come to the Tavern, she saw four or five strange Foot-men stand with their Hats off; but those she imagin'd might belong [Page 39]to the Gallant who was 'squiring her up Stairs, while Olympa follow'd. They had not quite ascended, before the other Gen­tleman came running to meet them; and Philaret call'd out, My Lord Newlove, if you were sensible of the Blessing, you would fly to assist me in usbering up these Ladies. Upon this, they immediately found their Mistake, but too late. Olympa run down as fast as she could; but Lady Sparkit not having Liberty to get away, clapt hold of the Banisters, and fell into a Swoon. Af­ter they had brought her into the Room, they did not fail to use their utmost Care and Diligence to bring her to Life, which was effected in a little Time; but upon finding herself in the Arms of him she had mistook for her Husband, she was rea­dy to fall into a Relapse, had they not convinc'd her by their Behaviours and so­lemn Protestations, she should remain in their Company with as much Safety, on all Accounts, as with the nearest Relation she had in the World. But all this would not satisfy the disappointed Lady; she in­treats, with the greatest Urgency imagi­nable, to have her Liberty; while they, with an unresisting Air, and most profound Respect, sollicit her Stay. By this Time Olympa had recover'd her Fright, and was return'd, to make Enquiry of her Friend. [Page 40] Philaret had Notice of it, and with abun­dance of Arguments and Assurances, pre­vail'd upon her to honour them with her Company; which she did, in Respect to the other Lady. Lord Newlove was so enamour'd with the Beauty, graceful Mein, and modest Carriage of Lady Sparkit, whom he stil'd his destin'd Charmer, sent from the Gods to take Possession of a Heart unconquer'd; and that he should esteem himself the most fortunate Man on Earth, if she would permit him to devote it eter­nally to her Service. Lady Sparkit re­ceiv'd these Addresses with all the Cold­ness and Neglect that's natural to a Mind prepossest; and tho' she had no other Ob­ligations to her Husband, than that of be­ing so, yet she found her Vertue a suffici­ent Guard against the most powerful As­saults. Lord Newlove is a young Noble­man, truly heroick, and grac'd with all the Additions of Art and Nature, which can conspire to make him irresistable; and has so peculiar a Method in making Love, which insensibly steals upon the Hearts of those present, as well as the Person ad­dress'd to; and never fails to make her en­vy'd, tho' it were by a Sister, or Bosom-Friend. In the mean Time, Philaret, who is no less deserving, a Relation, and sworn Brother to Lord Newlove, entertain'd O­lympa [Page 41]with all the Respect and good Man­ners which becomes a Cavalier to a fine young Lady; yet, tho' she is very desi­rable, he did not find himself absolutely in Love with her, but kept his Eyes and Thoughts fix'd on Lady Sparkit, who al­ways proves most attracting to the real Judges of Perfections. On the other Hand, Olympa made him suitable Returns, and was so transported between the Charms she saw in Lord Newlove, and that of a Rival's Rage and Resentment, that she had not Leisure to mind the cool Application Philaret made to her, which seem'd rather through Restraint, than Inclination: A Treatment she had never been accustom'd to, and what was directly contrary to the Sentiments she had of herself; but finds now, to her great Anxiety, it was not im­possible to love, even where she is likely to continue disregarded; the greatest Mor­tification that can befal a Coquet. As these two Lovers sympathize in all Things, so their Thoughts were equally employ'd on Stratagems to succeed in this new A­mour, with that Eagerness to persist, which is always observable in a beginning Flame, both fancying he had the juster Claim, 'till they had quite forgot the Intent of their coming thither, which was to dine with two honest Fellows, who had under­gone [Page 42]the Fatigues of a Camp some Years; one of which was come off with the Loss of an Eye and an Arm, whom they had ac­cidentally met in Hide-Park, from whence they were just return'd when the Ladies first saw them, and had already bespoke the Dinner. But now the appointed Time being come, the Brothers of the Blade had dispatch'd their Affairs, and were arm'd: Upon which, they rush'd into the Room in a most surprizing Manner; the first made but one Step up to Lady Sparkit, clapt his Hat under his Arm, and cry'd, My Lord, give me Leave to kiss your Girl; while the lame one accosted Olympa in as familiar a Way. The Ladies being unac­quainted with those Sort of Salutations, were astonish'd at their Manner of proceed­ing, and were ready to die with the Ap­prehensions they receiv'd of them. Lord Newlove soon perceiv'd it, and with a be­coming Anger, in Regard to the Ladies Pre­fence, gave Camper a fevere Reprimand for his Insolence, tho' with that Caution as not to put their Reputations in his Pow­er by a Discovery who they were, but gave them all honourable Assurances of his Pro­tection and Fidelity. By this Time Din­ner was come upon the Table, which was with all Magnificence the Place would al­low of. It was in vain for the Ladies to [Page 43]think of disengaging themselves, but on the contrary, were oblig'd to be as socia­ble as they could. While the Courtiers were employ'd in officiating, and silently admiring, the Soldiers were entertaining the Company with an Account of their mi­litary Discipline, and beg'd they might be permitted to regale them with their marti­al Musick; which was refus'd. After Din­ner, Lord Newlove and Philaret approach'd Lady Sparkit, with all the Awe and Ado­ration they would a Deity, from whom they expect their immediate Fate; all which she modestly evaded; while Camper plac'd his Batteries at Olympae, and after several vigorous Assaults, which prov'd ineffectual, he was constrain'd to raise the Siege: Up­on which, they both retir'd; so that Phi­laret, in Point of Breeding to Olympa, is oblig'd to resign to his powerful Rival, and give him Opportunity for all the Advances that is possible for such an Assailant to gain over a Heart that can't remain wholly in­sensible of his Merits; where, in spite of all her Vertue and Reason, he so far pre­vail'd, as to obtain her Consent for a se­cond Meeting; which, though innocently meant, had the Misfortune to be over­heard by Philaret and Olympa, who look'd upon this Adventure to be a Conspiracy a­gainst her universal Empire; and tho' be­fore [Page 44]this unlucky Accident, she dearly lov'd Lady Sparkit, yet, in the Height of Rage and Resentment, she is ready to sacrifice her to her Revenge, it being entirely in her Power, as she best knows the true Mo­tives of her Husband's Indifference; and that if she fail'd of her desir'd Success in an Attempt projected, she is already assur'd of having him her Vassal, whenever she plea­ses to command it, tho' the Affection she bore to her Cousin, had hitherto prevent­ed her taking any Advantages of that Na­ture, but always endeavour'd to conceal it from her Knowledge, that it might not cause her any Disquietude. Lady Sparkit is now desirous to be gone, when Lord Newlove, who is so transported with the Hopes of future Happiness, is ready to o­bey her harshest Commands; and together with Philaret, conducted them so far as they would permit.

IT's about three or four Months since a very worthy Gentleman, a Member of Parliament, had Occasion to be at a Peri­wig-maker's Shop in the Strand, where he chanc'd to 'spy a fine young Lady alight out of a Hackney-Coach from a very handsome Gentleman, to make a Visit to an intimate [Page 45]Friend of her's, a Country Lady that lodg'd at the next House; he seeing her walk up Stairs, follow'd by her Foot-man, who carry'd several Parcels she had been buy­ing, and came there with Design to have her Friend's Advice in the making up the Cloths for her Marriage, which was to be celebrated the Week following with that young Cavalier who conducted her thither. Mirtilla, which was the Country Lady, would needs recommend one Vainly, a fini­cal Mantoa-woman that lodg'd up two Pair of Stairs in the same House, and who had made it her Business to insinuate herself into her Favour, to make the Cloths; which Clarinda willingly assented to, and gave her Directions accordingly. But to re­turn to our grave Statesman, whom we left in the adjoining Shop, full of Contempla­tionon the late Angelick Vision. He finds himself all on a Sudden plung'd into a Passion he had never yet experienc'd, at least to such a Degree, tho almost arriv'd to the Age of Fifty; but since he is so transported with Love, is resolv'd to gra­tify himself on any Term whatsoever. Ac­cordingly consider'd on Proposals of mar­rying her with all imaginable Speed; if his Person be not the most amiable, yet his other Qualifications, with the Additi­on of a great Estate, and Title of Sir [Page 46] J—, he knew were great Inducements to a prudent young Lady, especially if she had no great Fortune, as he wish'd, to make his Address the easier, and begins to think on no Objection, unless that beauti­ful Adonis that came Home with her, as he imagin'd, might prove to be a Lover: But on second Thought, fancy'd so much Resemblance in their Faces, that he con­cludes them Brother and Sister; so scorn­ing to ask any other Questions than what's the Lady's Name that lodges next Door, he was answer'd Vainly, the People not knowing of any other in that House. This was enough for the hasty Lover. He im­mediately flies into his Chariot, and in­stead of going to the Play or Coffee-houses, gives Orders to go Home, where he spent the Remainder of that Day and Night in contriving the properest Means to intro­duce his Passion. Sometimes he is ready to go and throw himself at her Feet; but again considers, that being wholly a Stran­ger, such an Action might seem too rash and surprizing; and at last concludes on writing first, to beg Leave to wait on her; which he did next Morning in the softest Terms that could be. He acquaints her with his Name, his Rank, his Circumstan­ces; and above all, his mighty Love and indefatigable Resolutions to obtain her for [Page 47]his Wife; is impatient to know when he may be admitted to kiss her Hand; and concludes himself the most submissive, whi­ning Slave, that ever Beauty made so. This was directed for Madam Vainly at her Lodg­ing, dispatch'd away in all Haste, and was accordingly deliver'd with a great deal of Ceremony. You may suppose Vainly receiv'd all this very civilly, and return'd the Complement as well as she could, with her most humble Service; and that if he pleas'd to take the Pains to come there next Day at Six in the Evening, she would do herself the Honour to attend him. Ne­ver was Woman so pleasingly surpriz'd as she, at this welcome Letter. She perus'd it over and over, and fancies every Thing in her Praise, to be substantial Truths; but upon consulting her Looking-Glass more than ordinary, finds herself altoge­ther irresistable, and is ready to fly into a Passion at the rest of the stupify'd World, that could not distinguish her Charms in six and thirty Years Time. She now be­gins to consider her Admirer; and tho' she never saw him in her Life, yet is ex­treamly in Love with him for several Rea­sons. His Quality, Estate, and honoura­ble Intentions to make her great, are pow­erful Motives; but yet adores him more, if possible, for his penetrating Judgment. [Page 48]The Title of Ladyship, transports her to the last Degree. She concludes every Thing done, and is the happiest Woman in the World, in her own Imaginations. She grows eager for the Pleasure of relating her Conquest, and fixes on Mirtilla as the properest Confident and Adviser in this Affair. Mirtilla was somewhat amaz'd, be­lieve me, at the Gentleman's Choice; but however, being a very well-meaning Coun­try Lady, was mightily pleas'd at her Neighbour's good Fortune, in Hopes to have a merry Bout at this Wedding too. She offers her Apartment to receive him, if she likes it better than her own; which was willingly accepted by Vainly, who em­ploy'd all her Time in making that, and herself fit to entertain so considerable a Lover; but Clarinda, who had really the greatest Share in the whole Matter, was ignorant of all that pass'd, and came very innocently next Day to visit Mirtilla, and enquire if her Wedding-Cloths were al­most finish'd, because she had now few Days to turn in. She had no sooner enter'd the House, but she found the Face of all Things chang'd, only Mirtilla was much the same Woman as before; but Vainly was abso­lutely transform'd into another Creature. She had just been adorning herself to main­tain an eternal Conquest; sate playing her [Page 49]Fan with the awful Air of some great La­dy-Visiter, now and then tuning up her musical Voice to the softest Words she could think on. Clarinda was struck all on a Heap in her Thoughts, at this sudden Al­teration; but seeing Vainly look so very stately, she could not take Courage to ask any Question, nor durst so much as name the Work she expected to have seen done. Mirtilla observing her Look sur­priz'd and studious, was as much in Pain to have the telling of News, as the other was to hear it; so makes an Excuse to call her into the next Room, where she un­folded the Mystery. Clarinda could hard­ly believe at first Hearing; but Mirtilla asserts the Truth with, yea verily, and in­deed. This happen'd as Vainly wish'd; for she was often upon the Point of bringing of it out herself; but deferr'd, in Hopes Mirtilla would save her the Labour. They were no sooner come to her again, but she begins to return her Thanks; for tho' Cla­rinda was a Stranger at present, yet she said she was much pleas'd with her Conver­sation, and had no Affairs she desir'd might be made a Secret to her, and hop'd they should be better acquainted hereafter; for truly she should very often beg their Com­panies in her Coach to Hide-Park; but indeed she has so many Things to do and [Page 50]think on, that she does not know at which End to begin; and as they are both going to enter into the same Circumstances, she says they must endeavour to assist one ano­ther, and make the best Use of their Time. She will needs have Clarinda's Cloths sent away just then to the Mantoa-woman she designs to honour with her Wedding-Gar­ments, and tells her, that in Return, she must make it Part of her Employment to enquire out amongst her Acquaintance for a Lady's Woman, that understands herself and her Business throughly, and knows how to keep due Distance; for she is sure she can never bear a familiar Wretch. But now the Time of Expectation draws near; the Ladies are better bred, than to be inter­rupting; so take Leave together to spend the Evening at Clarinda's Lodgings. They had not been gone half an Hour, before a fine Chariot and Equipage, with a much more fine Gentleman, stopt at the Door. Vainly knew it could be nothing less than her A­dorer; runs in all Maste to meet him at the Stairs. After the usual Complements to a Woman of her Appearance, he desir'd to know if Mrs. Vainly were at Home: She told him Yes; and that her Name was so. He supposing her to be the Mother, said it was the young Lady he meant, who had done him the Honour to return such and [Page 51]such an Answer, upon his taking the Li­berty to write to her the Day before. She assur'd him she was the very Person he meant; that there was no other of the Name in that House; and for farther Con­firmation, takes the Letter out of her Bo­som. He then begg'd ten thousand Par­dons, said he was mistaken in the Name; for that Letter was meant to another La­dy about such an Age, had such Hair, Eyes, and every Features; and proceeded to de­scribe her very Dress; yet all this was not enough to convince Vainly: She did not in­tend to be so tantaliz'd. She affirm'd she was not above Eighteen, had just such Eyes; and that if he will but come up to the Light, he will find her every Ways as a­greeable, if not exceed the other he talks of: But, alas! it was not in the Power of all her Charms and Rhetorick, to draw him one Inch farther. Poor Vainly was perfectly confounded at this unexpected Treatment, and Labour lost; and what between Grief, Pride, and Resentment, was ready to break out into loud Com­plaints, and offer'd to detain him by Force; which oblig'd the mistaken Lover to take very abrupt Leave, extreamly perplex'd at the Disappointment; but not without Hopes that a little more Caution and In­dustry, may at last bring him to the real [Page 52]Object of his Admiration: But I under­stand Vainly came pretty even with him afterwards; which I'll refer to some other Paper, when I am better inform'd of that Part of the Story.