OF all Wild Beasts, Heaven defend us from the Rabble Rampant! Africk has not a Monster so outragiously Cruel, as This with the Many-Heads and no Brains. Next the mischief of their Hands, there is nothing more to be drea­ded than the Venome of their Tongues; for when they have committed their Savage Exploits, they Bruit abroad Slaunders to varnish over their Inso­lence, and pretend Reasons for their Phrensies.

The Entertainment which the Noble Digby Lord Gerard met with in the City of London last Whitsontide, was so far remote from common Ci­vility, much more, the Respect due to a person of his QUALITY and MERIT, that Indians would have Blussht at those Barbarities, which an Ungovernable crew of Heathen-Christians Acted, without either Remorse, or (what is more to be lamented) Punish­ment from Justice; yet have they since made as hold with his Lordships Honour, as then with his Person; and by spurious Reports (begot in close Adulteries between Lying Tongues, and Itching Ears) endeavour to cast the Odium of that Frantick Tumult upon those that were only passive­ly concern'd, and (to the grand hazard of their Lives) causlesly Assaulted.

For Rectifying such false and scandalous rumours rais'd by Malice, and swallow'd by Ignorance; tis become necessary to give the world the true Rise, Progress, and Up-shot of that riotous Hubbub, the memory whereof I could otherwise wish might re­main as obscure as its Original Authors, that our Age might be free from the scandal, and Posterity from the Ill-precedent of such a popular exorbi­tance.

The Lord GERARD being but in the fifteenth year of his Age, ever Piously and harmlesly Edu­cated, the natural sweetness of his Temper, and acquir'd Accomplishments from Liberal Studies and virtuous principles, rendring his deportment not only Inoffensive, but most generously obliging to the meanest persons. Going with his Mother and o­thers in the Whitson holy days 1677. (soon after his first coming to Town) to see new Bedlam (yet not out of curiosity, but on Extraordinary occasion) coming near to the Gate, desired a woman that there obstructed the passage, by the name of GOOD WOMAN to stand by, that he might speak with the Porter of the House.

'Twas sure his Lordships excellent Good-Nature oversway'd his Judgement to bestow that improper Appellation upon her, for had he but consider'd the rules of Physiognomy he might have read the virtues of all the three Furies, with a Land­skip of Bridewel and Newgate to boot, in the dis­orderly Hieroglyphicks of her wretched countenance; whether not being us'd to be call'd so, and conscious how little she deserv'd the Title, made her take it for an Affront, or that the fumes of her in­digested Ale and Brandy at that unlucky minute, [Page 6]caus'd an insurrection of Choler in her Pericranium, I cannot precisely determine, this is most certain, that only that mistake, or the meer presumption of speaking to her, without further provocation, was resented as so heinous an offence by her High and mighty Gammarship, that it had like to have cost my Lord his life; For forthwith looking sted­fastly and grimly upon him, like the Divel over Lincoln, or a Witch reading ones Fortune, she rudely told him he must not come in there; and in­stead of a reason, at the same instant, gave him such a blow on the nose and eyes with her Clownish fist, as he was almost suffocated with his own blood, which superlative violence was seconded by a Brawny Porter, a fellow compos'd of NOISE and Rudeness, whom for fashion-sake she calls Husband that durst do no other than engage in the unknown quarrel of his imperious Bed-Cocka­trice; and that their divellish paws might keep time to some Hellish Musick, she call'd the Noble young Gentleman a thousand times ROGUE, and other abusive Names; but he was made incapa­ble of returning her thanks in her Billinsgate Complements (had he been vers'd in them) or a­ny other Language; and had not the Divine Pro­vidence [Page 7]Protected him, had there by these inso­lent and bloody Savages lost his innocent Life, as he did much of the Beauty of that face which few can Equal.

For this strapping Virago, and her Mate, and two men more of their Raskally Companions, like so many Irish Mastives, laid hold on him all at once: Four to one and he but a Child,, was I con­fess some small odds, but put that to the score of their valour; As likewise their plucking him bar­barously by the Hair, which I am sure was con­trary to Magna Charta and all the Fundamental Laws of the Bear-Garden it self—But Raillery a­part—for they did not Jest, Having given him many desperate blows, they endeavour'd to thrust him backwards down the stairs with an intent (no doubt) to Murder him upon the place: whilst he was thus held down by the Hair, having no other way to defend himself, and make them draw back (the crowd keeping off his Footmen and Pages) he drew his little sword, which the Porter too intent upon this Divelish design of gratifying his Ra­ging Baggage, heedlesly met with, and thereby Raz'd the skin of his belly; but one might law­fully swear there was no Christian blood spilt.

However an Out-cry is rais'd, and immediate­ly a mighty rout of men and women, possest (had it been possible) with something worse than themselves, hurry about my Lord, endeavouring with fresh Attaques of violent fury to take away his Noble Life; and though he made no resistance but calmly offered to surrender himself to the next, or any Magistrate; yet they Hale him from one place to another, still persued by the impe­tuous clamours of this worthy Apple-woman, who began all the mischief; and now Haloo'd on the yelping Rabble as oft as she could get within Tongue-shot, discharging her Mouth Granadoes of Oathes and Curses, crying, let him come out ile tear him to pieces, &c. at last being put into his own Coach to go before a Justice, an impudent Shomaker broke the glasses, and he and another flung Brick-batts into the Coach, but for that my Lord can forgive them from a glorious precedent that patiently suffered the same and worse indigni­ties; some of their elder Brethren threw the like into the Coach of St. Charles their KING, whom they Martyr'd; Thus now this blustering Hew­son with many others of the same cast—cryd— Kill him, kill him, knock him oth head, pull him to pieces, [Page 9]dash out his brains, and many other modes of Exe­cution, more than Sicilian Tyrants ever invented, was he presently doom'd to, by these Peerless and lawless judges; who to shew that they were in bad earnest, made such severe blows into the Coach, that a Gentleman in it with my Lord wore the Marks a good while after on his Arms; The Bedlamites within were a sober discreet Tribe in comparison of these without; to appease their rage no Remonstrances of reason could be heard, neither Beauty, (which has disarm'd Conquerors in the heat of battel) nor Eloquence (that has calm'd the wildest Tumults) nor Youth (which usually engages pitty) nor Obliging condescentions (which are wont to soften the most obdurate and insensed, to terms of moderation) could here pre­vail; The Tears of an innocent affrighted Lady, the Prayers of an indulgent Mother, (desiring only common justice for her endangerd Son) were slighted; nay all Authority contemn'd and abu­sed, for the very Constables and Officers that guar­ded my Lord, stood in need of a Guard for them­selves, being threatned to be torn to pieces, for endeavouring to keep the Peace, and restrain them from Murdering him; So that my Lord was forc'd [Page 10]to quit his Coach, and to avoid being Assassinated by these Ruffians, make a Sanctuary of the Counter, where through Gods mercy, his life was saved, though the Rout was so set upon mischief, that they broke, and began to untile the place to get at him, threatning to pull it down, which in all likelihood they had accomplisht, had not the Sheriff Sir. Thomas Stamp (the only great officer that could be found) been sent for to quell them; who were grown to such a Head that the Lady GERARD has seriously profess'd she thinks she should (if not been kill'd by their actual vio­lence) have dyed with the just apprehension of her sons danger, had it not been for the generous and Christian charity of four persons of Quality, two valiant Brothers, and two as worthy obliging La­dies, their near Relations, meer strangers to her Honour, who yet Rescued and assisted her and my Lord, and left them not till safe and out of dan­ker, Nor can she forget with Gratitude to ac­gnowledge the civilities of a worthy Citizen and his virtuous wife, who secured and entertain'd them in his house to the hazard of having it pull'd down over his head by the Bedlamiz'd multitude.

To give an exact account of that motley crew [Page 11]is impossible, it comprehended more sorts of Beasts than Noah's Ark, and as many Sects of No-Religion as Presbytery ever spawn'd; many of them pretended themselves London Prentices fa­mous for offering to demolish Bawdy-houses, out of a politick design ile warrant you, to be Brib'd with money to spend in them, For in earnest we may guess they had rather pull down all the Nobility and Gentry, than one of those; elce tis strange, not only the Lord Gerard and his Mother too, should not by their will be suffered to live, but that another Noble Lady coming in her Coach occasionally to Bedlam whilst this godly work was carrying on, should be no less sawcily af­fronted by a pestilent corporation of this Rabble, crying out— Tear her to pieces, knock out her brains, This is the Bitch his Mother, &c. breaking her Coach, and hurting several with her; The first time I dare affirm either that Honourable Lady, or the Lady Gerard ever received such usage or Language; yet would I not charge this Rudeness on the Apprentices of London in general, as hoping that the better sort of them as they are more gene­rously descended, so they scorn to mix with such a mischievous Rascally Rout; but in all Tumults [Page 12]there are a parcel of Beggarly Filching Vermine that assume their names, and under that pretence Ra­vage at their pleasures, and commit the most nefarious Crimes.

But now tis high time to see how the Porter does; Life you know is sweet, and had it not been for the Cordial drinking of Ale and smoak­ing Tobacco, our man of Carriage might possibly have miscarryed; for that night his Surgeon took a Corporal oath in spight of his Soul, that his wound was mortal; and indeed, To a Bruit that had neither Brains, nor Heart, the Likeliest In­lett of Death was in the Paunch; yet the man of Art never dress'd it, for fear of making too speedy a Cure; and the very next day made a civil Affida­vit, that he was in no danger; whence we may conclude, that he heald him and his own Conscience both by Sympathy; But notwithstanding in the vulgar Creed he has been mortally wounded, dead, and buried, yet he is since curs d into a Re­surrection by living again (though in a perpetual Purgatory) with that she-Fiend before mentioned, to whom he durst not but retorne, dwelling at this instant near Newgate, a place as fit as any I know for him; nor is his name less suitable, for he [Page 13]calls himself J. NOISE, and all the Neigh­bourhood can witness that his spouse (whether the Ce­remony ever pass'd between them or not) may yet very justly lay claim to that Name as well as he.

And now one would think the Hurricane were pretty well laid, but I should be unjust to the Shomakers excellent grace of perseverance, if I omit his Lasting valour and Christian charity, who several dayes after (when one might have hoped the Fermentation of his cholerique blood had been somewhat abated) very gravely declared— That it was a world of pitty my Lord Gerards brains had not been knock'd out; and some of this godly crew have threatned to have another bout with him, if ever he come into the City. Yet if we enquire into the worthy reasons of their spight, they have never been able to alledge the least shadow of pretence; their greatest Plea being, That they knew not that he was a Lord; nor is it like they should, unless set on, as the manner of their At­tempt induces many judicious persons to beleive they were; hower tis not imaginable, they would have paid any Respect to that QUALITY, who by this very excuse do as bad as acknowledge, that [Page 14]they count all below it at least, though never so much their Betters, fit objects of their Abuses; In a word, all circumstances considered, this Honourable Child being, though of English and Loy­al Parents, an absolute stranger to the Town, and one that none of them ever lost by, but some on the contrary gain'd, (the common measures both of their Love and Religion) Twas as grand and Fana­tical an insolence (bateing but the bloodyfreaks of the Fifth Monarch-men) as ever was acted since the Restauration of our sacred King; who (as he is never wanting in Acts of Goodness and Justice even to the meanest of his Subjects) was graciously pleased on the first humble Address to deliver this oppressed young Gentleman, by giving orders to the Magistrates, but 'twas so long before any of them could be found, that Ten thousand Lives might have been lost, if not within the Pale of God's especial Protection, and had not his Cre­ator bless'd him with an Excellent Constitution, the hard and different usage from that of all his Life, which he received as well by the Cold as Bruises he had suffered, without application of any remedy, not being allow'd to go to his Lodging, was e­nough to put a period to his Life they so much [Page 15]thirsted after, no body knows why.

Yet must it be acknowledg'd, that my Lord was very civily and Hospitably treated at that worthy Gentleman Sr. William Turner's house, but was not dismiss'd till next day, and then not without City Bail, to appear at the next Sessions of the Peace at Guild-Hall, where he was discharged; And though there was all done, that could be there, and perhaps more than can be justified a­gainst this Noble Innocent, yet I know not how, nor why it happen'd, that there was not the least Pro­secution admitted, or notice taken of any of those insolent Rioters, that so barbarously injured him, and notoriously broke the Peace, in affront of Law, and to the scandal of that City heretofore for Ci­vil Government renowned throughout Europe.