IT is not unknown to us under how many ſcandals we groan, and how our Names hang up a ſunning in all parts of the Nation, all bedaubed with infamous imputations, like an old greaſie pair of breeches embroidered with Fullers Earth. We confeſſe that according to the Proverb, Men that have ill Names are as good as half hang'd. Truly although we might aver this Proverb to be a lie, not finding the exerciſe of our Lungs at all ſtraightned by the forfeiture of our Reputation; yet, to give the world a clear diſcovery of our ſpirits; and to ſhew that we do not repent becauſe of our Reproaches, we have thought good to publiſh theſe few lines by way of our juſtification; only let the Reader take this Caution along with him, that if there be any honour obtain'd by the penning thereof, he is to aſcribe it only to him who is named firſt in the Title, for that my brother Ireton, though he be a good cunning man for the world, yet he never wrote a Book in his life, as I have done, ſo that it is not to be thought, that he who never put pen to paper ſhould be ſo good a Pen-man as I, that have made a ſhift to make a whole Treaiſe. But methinks we now hear the world begin to Catechize us, firſt asking us, What are our Names? why we would have the World to know that we are not aſham'd of our names; our names are Robert Tichborn and John Ireton, the which names of ours are alſo fring'd about with the titles of Aldermen. You'l ſay, Who gave us theſe Names? Why even our Godfathers and Godmothers forſooth; for then the Swine of the world trampled upon theſe divine Truths which are ſince more freely practiſed: for a man could not have been waſh'd from his ſins in thoſe days in deep Rivers, (as they cleanſe ſheep before ſheering time) but he muſt have been hooted at by all the ſtreet. Neither to tell ye the truth did we much look after ſuch kind of Stories, til we found Profeſſion, or profeſſing, which you pleaſe, neceſſary for the exaltation of our particular mortified Intereſts: But if you ask us, who made us Aldermen? we anſwer, not the City; for we were never beholding to them in our lives, (nor did we give them any reaſon to oblige us:) but our gracious Protector of happy memory rais'd us for his own ends and our profit: we ſay, of happy memory, for that he never opproſſed us, never tyrannized over us, and therefore we have no reaſon to ſpeak ill of him.

We came ſeveral wayes into preferment. As for my brother Ireton, All the world knows where he lived, and in what affairs of this tranſitory world he did occupy himſelf. It was Henry Ireton that like Cantharides, raiſed up this City Blister of Authority. Truly he was his brother, and ye cannot blame him. Would ye not have thought it very ſtrange, and a very unnatural thing in a brother to ſee himſelf Commiſſary General of a great Army, and Deputy-Lievtenant of Ireland, and let his own fleſh and blood ſtill continue a ſeller of Druggett and Bombazine. Neither was he an ungracious, or an unthankful brother; for he was very officious, and obedient to him in all things, as being the more ſuperiour power. The ſubtle old Fox feſcu'd to him with all diligence his primar of Policy, which the pretty apt thing learnt with ſo much docibleneſs, that partly by his own induſtry, partly by the aſſiſtance of the Spirit he arrived in a ſhort time to perfection, and enjoyed the fulneſs of his brothers Matchiavillianiſms. Therefore when the Protector went firſt about to ride the great City he made uſe of us, as of two Bitts to rein his High-metal'd Steed. Nor muſt I be ſilent of his brothers charity, for hee lent the compounding Cavaliers, though they were his enemies, mony upon Mortgages and great advantages to himſelf, imitating therein the pious example of Mr. Moorecrafts kindneſſes to the younger Lovelace, as you ſhall finde it written in the Play of the Scornful Lady, whereby he got unto himſelf much of the riches of this world.

For myſelf, I was alwayes Pragmatical, and withall very Schiſmatical; and being in the cave of Narrow-fortune, I made my Mother the City drunk with the Cluſters which I brought from Canaan, and ſhe in her drink made me a Colonel; now becauſe I had not ſo much mony then, as I have now, I even contented my ſelf with my Lord of Pembrokes old Cloaths, and in them my thought I was as fine as the beſt Colonel of them all. Some that ſaw me march before my Regiment would ſay, What is the old Earle of Pembroke riſen again from the dead? No fooliſh Galathians, it was not he, for the dead live not, ſo that it was not my Lord of Pembroke that lived in my Cloaths, but I that lived in my Lord of Pembroks old Cloaths: Why if the Earle of Pembroke had carried his old Cloaths to his grave, I could not have had them, neither ſhould I have deſired them; but ſince that he had no need of taking them along with him (as indeed there is no need of cloaths where Whoremaſters and Swearers remain, becauſe the place is heated with perpetual fires even like a Glaſs-houſe) ſhould my Lord of Pembrokes old Cloaths have been thrown away? Nay verily, but they are in an errour that ſay ſo: And I ſhall ſay this to the face of the whole world, that for my part I think my Lord of Pembroke was more beholding to that ſervant that ſold me his Cloaths, than to any man in the world, for that he raiſed unto his Lord a living Monument. But it was not my Lord of Pembrokes Cloaths that made me famous, it was a certain deliberate, grave, ſerious, pithy, godly, and moſt obſtreperous piece of (I will not ſay) ſence, becauſe I was the Author, but let them be Judges that have patience to read it. Truly it will require ſome patience in a man to read it all over. So that if patience be a vertue, he that reads it quite through muſt needs be vertuous. I entituled it a Cluſter Canaans Grapes, meaning the Grapes which the Spyes brought out of Canaan. Truly I think it is ominous to bring Grapes from Canaan; for from the time I brought home my Cluſters, have I been counted a Spy too, not without reaſon; for to tel the truth, I have been a Spy upon the City ever ſince. This book made me appear to the world ſuch a ſimple fellow, as if butter it ſelf would not melt in my mouth. But Cromwel my very good Lord and Maſter, a man of a moſt piercing apprehenſion, finding that my mouth was not only able to melt the butter, but that my throat alſo was wide enough to ſwallow the Gudgeons, and perceiving me to have an Oſtrich conſcience, he took me into his arms, and ſaid, Friend Tichborn, I find thee as fit for my Turn as if I had made thee my ſelf, and therfore do but help me to carry on this great work of mine, and I will reward thee, not, that like a Saint thou ſhalt truſt me till the world to come, but I will reward thee in this world, yea even in this world wherein thou now liveſt. Doſt thou want Honour? I will make thee Lord Mayor of London; doſt thou want money? thou ſhalt be my Danae, and I will ſhowr gold into thy Lap. Say you ſo, thought I, money will make a Mayor to goe. Truly it made me to goe about many Deſigns which few men but he thank'd me for: and I will ſay thus much for my ſelf, and a fig for my ſelf, that if faithfulneſs and reality be vertuous, I was vertuous, for I was alwayes faithful and real to him I ſerv'd. Truly 'tis a hard matter for a man to act his part well upon the Stage of this world. We thought we had done our parts as well as others, but the altering of one Scene, how it has chang'd our condition! And now what do not men ſay of us? They ſay that we have carried on all the barbarous Deſignes of the Anabaptiſts in the City, that we betrayd the Councels, and were two Spies upon all the actions of our Fellow Gown-men within the walls. Truly a great piece of buſineſs, and we live in a fine Age indeed, when men ſhall be blam'd for being diligent in their Calling. I remember, that when I was a young man, my Maſter would ſay, Keep cloſe to your Trade, and your Trade will maintain you. Now we believe that that way whereby a man gets his livelyhood, he is bound to follow, and it is his Trade and Occupation. Truly we had a very good Trade, ſo that when all the City complain'd for want of Trading, we felt no ſuch oppreſſion. The Spaniſh Wars did us no harm, and I think we ſhould have been fools indeed to have ſhut up our ſhops at ſuch a time. Nor are we to be blam'd for ſerving our Pay-maſter ſo faithfully; for what is there in the world ſo baſe as Treachery, eſpecially treachery to a mans friend. 'Tis true we grant, that a man may betray his Countrey, or a whole City, or the moſt ingenious and faithful Party of a Nation. For there is a multitude, and a man hath no obligation to one in ten thouſand; but to betray a mans friend, and the beſt friend he hath in the world, that's your treachery. Judas was not curs'd for betraying his Country, but for betraying his ſingle Maſter, who had ſo many wayes oblig'd him, and at length made him his Treaſurer, never calling him to any account. Then people ſay, We endeavour'd all we could to break the City Charter, though we were members thereof, and extreamly angry they were becauſe my Brother Ireton would have been twice Mayor. Law ye now! what a coyle here is. Truly 'tis a ſtrange thing to us that people ſhould keep ſuch a ſtir with a Charter. Why, ſuppoſe ye had never a Charter, think ye the City would periſh? I wonder what Charter that City had which Cain built in the Land of Nod. And yet, for ought I know, one man might have been Mayor there forty times, and no body have ſaid any thing to him. In former time Mayors were Mayors as long as they liv'd, and were call'd Kings, witneſs Bera Mayor of Sodom, and Birſhu Mayor of Gomorrah, and Chedorlaomer Mayor of Elam: Truly if I or my Brother Ireton were ſuch a Mayor of London, as he was of Elam, we ſhould be as good Mayors as he for all his hard name. Others blame us for unhorſing the Cavaliers; but they talk like fools, for we have made them beggars, and it is conttary to the Proverb, to ſet beggars a horſe-back. Give them Horſes and they'l ride upon our ſhoulders. A great many people ſay we have no Charity. Truly we find it to be a very cold vertue, therefore we dare not let it come too neer our hearts by reaſon of its benumming and venomous quality. As many there be that ſay we have as little Honeſty. But as for that, we ſhall onely give this ſhort anſwer, that if we have cozen'd the State, we have done no more than a great many of our Companions, and what we can juſtifie from the continual practice of the Saints. And truly there is a great deal of reaſon that my Brother Ireton ſhould have an Iſhmaels portion, being the ſon of the Bom • woman.

Thus, I hope, we have fully ſatisfy'd the world, if the world be not as unreaſonable as our ſelves; for I confeſſe I think 'twas not a ſmall matter that ſatisfy'd us. 'Tis true, perhaps we may be a little puzled what to ſay at the laſt day; but be of good comfort Brother Ireton, for if it be impoſſible for Saints to err, then it will go well enough of our ſide. Now I am as confident as I ſtand here we are two Saints; for I have prov'd it in my moſt Odoriferous Treatiſe of Muskadine, which gives you ſuch eſſential marks of a Saint, that it may indeed be call'd the Saints Butter-print: You may there ſee a Saint cut as exactly as a French gown. Now does any body think that my ſoul could breath forth ſuch experiences and holy truths, and I be a Knave▪ Now if there were nothing elſe, this were enough to ſatisfie any reaſonable man. And therefore I ſhall ſay no more till I ſhall come to Preach to the multitude upon a Ladder, and then you ſhall hear as much agen, if it be but onely to delay time.