BY the slender Ticket I bring with me for my admittance, you will easily perceive, how readily presumptuous I am to intrude upon your more serious affairs, it being onely the inclosed printed paper; whose report, if in its passage up at first it blew the horn, or hath since reflected hence by other means unto you, I beseech you to par­don this absurdity, and then impute the reason of my sending, to be a desire of knowing; whether this have any better credit with you, then that of vagrant same alone; or of the no lesse impudent Presse, which though no gadder abroad it self, hath still standing by it those vomitum absorbentes, as the Painter feigned of the Poet, such as are ready to lick up any thing, and all it casteth forth, that nothing be lost: Not knowing where to finde the Author, who perhaps is fal­len sick, poor man, with the fright he took; and therefore had not need be di­sturbed with questioning] I have presumed to trouble you for my satisfaction, who I suppose may be able to give some certain account thereof, if any such be to be expected; since I finde it, if not acted in, yet forged for your own meridi­an; the very town, if I mistake not, where some of your friends in the North dwell, and where they say this Terrible big-bellied-Trojan-horse Cloud disburthen­ed it self, and afterwards packed up again, and went off with a very orderly re­treat. As yet I must confesse I esteem it but what the Author himself, without correction, hath Intituled it, A RELIATION indeed; that half-piked letter [though he intended to smother the businesse; for fear it should be chal­lenged again] which he took up after the field was fought, being in my judg­ment not redundant, but necessarily inserted, whereby that word alone is rendred true, and all the whole Book besides one great continued Erratum; which if so, the very Contempt thereof is punishment enough for such a forgerie; Yet This fellow hath thereby so disturbed, and moved the aire, that I cannot keep a Wind­mill I have in my head from running Sallengers round, a while with it; but being yet at libertie, I should be loath to immure my self, as needs I must, be­tween two walls; If I should undertake to decide the nicety of the point in ge­neral (waving in all respects the present Relation) whether Apparitions of this nature, have indeed so much reality in them, as that of their very apparency, or no, there being not more confident maintainers on the one side, then obsti­nate opposers on the other; and therefore I shall decline the same, and confine my self to sit close upon the skirts of my Author, making some proper Annotati­ons upon my present Don Quixot.

First then, that there might bee no stop in proceedings, but that without sus­spending your belief, you may be ready to Join issue with him, he telleth you he was present himself, an eie-witnesse of the combate; and I think, with some small necessary alteration, I might add for him what his own modestie would [Page 2]not permit him to utter; viz. that great brag of Aeneas to Dido, in his storie to her of the sack of Troy. Et quorum pars tota fui.

But he was present, yes that he was, I will maintain it for him against any man; for he must needs be there, where he either saw or made this Tragedy: unlesse we will fondly imagine the Seal can be absent from the Wax, while the impression is making; or that his Printer was drinking at the Ale-house, all the while his book was in hand: for my own part I shall easily believe him to have been present; And yet (if he aimed at that) think him never the more valiant; For though I assure my self the stoutest heart could not brook such a sight with­out some astonishment; yet I know no reason, but the shamefullest coward may stand by him too, cheek by jowl, with hazard little enough; however, certain­ly he was there, for we must not imagine, that these new raised Train-bands, of the Rare-Aërian-militia, would go to exercise themselvs in their Artillery-garden without giving notice to their Cozen citts, that so they might, if they pleased, be Spectators.

And thus far I have engaged my Author; and yet further, if honest probable contrivance, & self-denying moderation, in what the Relator himself may be con­cerned, as somtimes it doth; I know no reason but it may here as well win upon our belief; for though the publisher (I will say that for him who ever he was) may be able no doubt to see as far into a mill-stone as another man, yet this Kitish Gipsie would not pretend to spie, or discover what these combatants did, untill they were come clear out of the cloud; And then I hope it was as lawful for him to take a view of them at full, as another man, which if he did, as he saith, pace tua Domine. it was long of your eies.

Having thus far not onely vindicated, but commended our Author; I hope for my good will towards him, it will not be expected I should answer for any of his after-failings, nor do I intend it; for I must needs confesse, I cannot clear him in one particular of the contrivance, as to point of prudence, whereof perhaps hee would purposely make no use, it being a Cardinal virtue; The matter is this: He fancied the Battalia form of the Armies he talketh of, to have resembled those real ones at Naseby field] An error I did not think he would have been guiltie of, and for his credits sake I would be loth any bodie else should take notice of, I much wondering how he could possibly hope, this Retrograde Prognosrication should any way take with the people, in foretelling them a thing from the skie, that had been already past more then ten years: And surely if Astrologers are judged to soar too high by some, who make the Stars a prophetical book, legible to judgments that way studied, yet this Revising Calculator to be sure erreth as much in defectu, who offereth to make them his post-book and Chronicle, one­ly to register things already past, this in time might have been fairly provided for: If I had been of his counsel, I would have advised him to have winked at the businesse a while, and have let the skirmishers fought on till the 12 of June, and then a bodie might have had somwhat to say for him; That probably, the de­parted slain on both sides, were anniversarily allowed weapons on that day, to renew the memorie of their Combate. I will urge this slip no more upon the pub­lisher, it being more pardonable in him: But that the reverend Rabbi MANAS­SEH BEN ISRAEL too, should be found not onely accessary, but princi­pal [Page 3]in this foule mistake, is a thing whereby I humbly conceive He hath deserved to have his whole nation barred out of England, and that he should consent to have his follie hung up in the margent, like a head and purtenance, is such a desire of being taken notice of, I believe would set even the grave men of Gotham them­selvs, into a very dangerous irrecoverable laughter. That all things might have been answerable, I once thought to have had this man in my margent too, but then I intended to have had him drawn at length in his own proper colours; in a pied Coat, and such a like Sophisters Cap, with his worthie observation written in a scrowl coming out of his mouth. Sir! your ingenuous confession, that you onely make the comparison as it lieth in the Map, not pretending you were at the fight your selfe, to have blown the coals. I approve of, and no man blameth you for your studie of praelic-graphical maps, or that accurate Posture-Le­xicon; where we have the same man in several places, shouldring, loading, rest­ing, priming, and discharging his musket; no man blames you for this, it be­ing requisite, that while so many souldiers in this later age have turned preach­ers, that some of these should go over and fill up their ranks, that so in time, if so it come to passe, all on both sides may be found to have changed station. It being better so, for ought I know, then being shuffled into one pack of milito-prae­dicant Clergie, or praedico-militant Souldiery: nor can any impute to you as a Seer, your itching desire of beholding this Ran counter. All this was well enough, but since you would needs have all things Hieroglyphical, nay and the very form of the Battel too: Yet sure it had been more consonant, especially for You, to have patterned the resemblance of the Battalia ex Sparta tua by some other Armies which the pillar and cloud, you all agree was there, might well have minded you of, but now to the Book it self.

This sight he telleth you was seene the first of January.] And now Janus his gates are thrown of the hinges, and we are like to haue a mad new yeare, which thus be­ginneth with fighting for we must not thinke it will end thus. for if the weather­mongers rule hold true, that a jury of holy-dayes are summoned every yeare to give vp their verdict of the following moneths; whether guilty or not of faire wea­ther, whose corne, vpon what ground I know not, they measure by their owne bushell, then I say, Raw-head and bloody bones, we must looke for terrible doings all next July, that being the seventh month, as well as new yeares day the seaventh feast from Christmas; but againe I must remember you this first of January fell then on a Tuesday; for this tale would not haue been so proper if it had had fallen on a­nother day, it being very requisite Mars his puppet play, should be acted on his own holy-day. Besides, it falling out so pat at that time of year; In my opinion it may passe for the prettiest piece of Enthusiastick Mummery, that ever was in­vented, to entertain the time in a Christmas Gamboile.

The Author goeth on. Between 7 and 8 of the Clocke at night,] He is somewhat too precise in the time, which might give occasion to some to thinke it a plo ted businesse, but I am none of those, For indeed I hold his discretion commendable therein, who judged that such an antick maske as this, would shew much better by owle-light. and therefore intending to have onely a few waxe candles and a torch or two to shew by, it is observed that after be had lighted them up, it being onely a private acting, that he put out the Moone taking her by the heeles; and [Page 4]holding her head a while under water, in the ducking pond, making them who stood by beleeue she was burnt out and Eclypsed in a snuffe, there is a further rea­son why so late; Sed de hoc vide plura infra.

There appeared saith he in the aire] Our relator I see is a very fair gamester, and may be trusted another time, for though there was no-body there but himselfe to eye him, yet he scorned to deale foule, playing all aboue board, vp in the ayre high enough to be sure, he need not feare any body should looke in his hand, for which perhaps he had a private reason to himselfe, having been formerly, if same belie him not, burnt at sessions for forging of debentares:

But againe In the aire] And why not I pray; you that giggle and fleere so at this? you would be loath in a winter night when you sit poring in the chimney corner, and frame Chymaeras to your selse out of the fire, that any body should contradict what you protest you see there, while the night mare is upon you and the resemblance holdeth strong; and why then must this man be denied his Vis Plastica? being a man of very choice parts that way, as I presage will hereafter be judged of him, when his body commeth to be begged for an anatomy; why then must he I say be denied either the power, only berty, of forming to himselfe what fights he pleaseth, of horse, foot, armes &c. out of the other Element? and truely in my opinion this master of the ceremonies deserveth the monopoly better then any other, few besides himselfe being able to have marshalled all things in such excellent equipage as he hath done.

There appeared in the Aire what? A certaine streame or cloud ìn ferme and colour like a rainbowe] who can tell what to make of this? A certain stream or cloud? and onely like a rainbow? he ascertaineth nothing, and yet if it reached from one end of the aire unto the other, as probably it did, I shall not doubt to affirme for him it was a meere Crosse-Bow.

This passing away there arose &c. the prologue being over, the play beginneth, enter the military pageant; but by the way hence may be collected that his war­riours were but poore spirited men, or but meanely accoutred with defensive armes that they durst not come upon the stage untill The coast was cleare, you had like to have seene none of them, vnlesse the bowe be first removed (call and hang if you will) although it was certaine there was no body there but the man In the moone to shoot it of:

But now they hunt full mouth, having started the hare: There arose from the earth saith our Author a bright and fiery pillar; on the top of this pillar was seen a cloud, out of this cloud came forth a long et cetera of horse; foot, cannon, armes and what not? he now that thinketh these words are all to be understood, literally, I assure him will find himselfe very much deceived. for Ut similes haheant labra lactucas I am re­solved somnium in somnio requiretur, to have my dreame and vagary as well as he; not caring though I thereby intangle the. businesse so much the more, having provided as mad a comment for so mad a story: The truth of the matter then was This, the relator hauing nothing else to doe, in an odde moode, observing his time, when the Moon was na pping, went and transferred Lets wife from the plaines of Sodome, placing her more advantageously uppon a rising hill in York-shire; this is meant by his pillar, where when he had fixed her, looking a while, and peering very wishfully vpon her as e're Pigmalion on his statue; at length Horrendum dictu [Page 5]from vnder her blacke hood, which he very subtilly termed a cloud, this muster-master Generall espied these brave aerian duellists come crawling forth: nor doth it any way hinder this exposition, that the Author expressely saith this pillar was on fire, for wee must know it is not said to be so in respect of matter, as the com­mon sort, may be apt to take it, but in respect of the forme thereof; in that it went pointing and spiring vp like a flame, that so, let the matter haue beene what it would, yet still it might have beene called fiery in respect of the Pyramidall forme thereof; but to satisfy the further contentious I am resolved it was and shall be so as I have said and though I should grant them it were true and reall fire. yet according to the rate that I intended to expound this treatise, it may stand well enough for salt too, and what is that to them, if the Author be content, to whom I thinke I haue done a courtefie, since such stories as these vse not to passe sine grano salis and vnlesse wee allow him some seasoning for his fiery pillar it would presently goe out in igne [...]

Thus much for the Learned: But that other people too may have somewhat for their money, I shall suppose the Rise to have been this: For wee must know, That all fictions are built vppon some Fundamentall truth] Our Author as I under­stand, having been well warmed with a long winded mornings draught, which held him till two in the afternoon, laid himselfe down upon the bed, where slumbring away some two or three houres, at last he fell into a sound sleepe; but being wakened on a fuddain, with a mighty noise over his head above in the Gar­ret, he lay still and harkned; but being much afraid, and judging the tumult rather to increase, he got him up, and went and raised the towne, when having] The constable with them, they stole up staires, to see what was the matter; being come to the doore, they heard such a confused noise of scratching, squeaking, grinning, mauwing, &c. that they could not possibly devise, what should be the businesse: Having first demanded, yea and tried to have forced an entrance, as themselues give out, to excuse their fullnesse of Courage, finding the doore fast bar­ricado'd up, and all the crannies stuffed with well tempered rats-bane, they went up another payre of staires, into the three-peny roome, being resolved to see the fight what ever it cost; where when they were come, they untiled the top of the house, when looking downe after all these paynes these Sceptickes saw the mortallest battell, that ever was sought betweene a company of North-westerne Catts, (whose feet were shod with Wallnut-shells, which caused the great noise) And an unruly rout of North-east Ratts, which, as they truely report (for fear will make a man glad to say any thing) were much bigger then their Anta­gonists▪ But to be short, the Cattae (being a very warlike people, who give the lyon rampant for their armes, being allowed by the Heralds so to do, for that as is found upon record, their Ancestor was spitten out of his mouth) and fight­ing also in a just cause, to recover the Impery, nature had conferred on them over the other quickly subdued, and drave them all into a mouse-hole: This latter opi­nion I rather incline to, for that I find it giveth light to the decision of a former question viz. What that streame or cloud in forme and colour like a Rainbow should be, which wee were fain to stubber over before it was no other then the beam that went crosse the room where they fought; Which being in a Gentlemans house, was painted all over of a light red colour: onely here and there a streak [Page 6]of green and white, and other colours, even as pleaseth the Painter; you may laugh at this now if you please: but I assure you as well skilled in Hors-flesh, as the best of you are; the beam being arched, and coloured, as it was, you might have been deceived thereby, as well as our Author. The next thing we observe unto you is the great Number of both armyes.

Severall companies of Horse and Foot, &c.] Now if any man on purpose to cavill, after so manifest conviction should yet peevishly examine, how so many regiments of Horse and Foot, carriage, Baggage, Ammunition, & all Habiliments of war, necessary to the furnishing forth a royal army, for a pitched field) could all be contained, & lie dormant, like Jack in a box under so little a Hovel as the Cloud he speaketh of, which in reason could not be very big, since being fixed on the pillar, it would well nigh have obscured the same; it being not very high, which yet was not so?) Our relator, hath herein to answere for himselfe, for ought I know, what a former Brother of his cloath was faine to make use of, when having confidently reported here at home, that beyond sea there were Bees as big as Hogs, & yet the hives no bigger then here in England; being thereupon demanded, how it was possible those swinish bees could get in or out those hivish sties; flearingly replied, Nay let them looke to that; But not to put you off with a flam, nor yet to tell you the clouds are made of stretching Leather, whosoever giveth credit to the story of the Platter-faced Cabbage, which I hope wee all doe, who are not quite out of love with that Beef-sauce-budget-root dish, can no way doubt of the truth of this; since, for ought we know, the pillar was hollow, and where I pray then is the impossibility? This cloud on the top of the pillar, being then but as a round hole in the floor of a theater, whereat there being through vaults underneath, all the men in the citie might come up, If there were room as here there was to be sure the whole aire being allowed them, for their Randezvous: But to leave no scruple, and fetch the author of cleare, without ransome, what wil you say If I can prove, they all came out of a much lesser place then the Cloud? And that is out of the Rela­tors owne noddle, the truth hereof if any man doubteth, I wil undertake for your two pence a piece, Come when you will, you shall see him send forth ten times as many more; give him leave to whiffe but a little Spanish first, which is but reason and then you shall plainly perceive the Pillar and Cloud he talketh of, were no other, but the lighted Tobacco-pipe he held in his hand: while at the same time he blew the Smoake out of his mouth.

This pillar and cloud it is said, came out of the earth] out of the earth? hold a lit­tle: oh oh [...], to the tune of Joy come to thee old Dicke, I haue now found who these gentlemen should be: doe you not remember, how at the beginning of these times there was much talk, of great numbers of papists and ma­lignants, who were trayning themselues vnder ground, for a designe, which but some five men knew of, who had been dead fifty yeares before? and though some few foole-hardy infidells of that age, would not suffer themselves to be gulled into a beleefe thereof, yet the event now hath proved it too true; These were the men: but then a grand doubt will arise how our author brought these blades to his lure; for that side being wholly defeated, whose part they were to haue taken, they grew sullen and intended never to have come out at all, And to thinke of forcing them was an idle enterprise, especially the Caves mouth where they [Page 7]went in being altogether vnknowne, but our Author was no foole, for he had a tricke for this too, which he formerly learned when he was prentice to a wine Cou­per, who have a pretty art, by knocking their knuckles on a wine vessell to tell whether it be empty or not, and more then that, can force out the liquor into a­nother vessell, without ever broaching, or powring it forth at the top; well then Our Author having formerly satisfied himselfe, where their Center was, which he accidentally discovered seven yeares agone, when he was fast sleeping on the ground, by a palpable noise which he heard in the roome vnderneath him, which he kept to himselfe: But now on the first of January betimes in the morning; hav­ing received an expresse from his Socio-forger in the North east army, for betweene these two vsed to passe intelligence] that they were already upon the borders, and intended to be that night, at the place appointed betweene them for battell. This wine-Couper as I told you, taketh his Gamlock-pipe And goeth to his old Molehill where he had formerly slept, claweth of the bung with both hands And thrusting in his instrument a good way downe into the earth, which he found hollow, being a good-smith-bellow-lung'd Ruccinator, He sent such a thun­dring Alarme, into those low subterraneous cavernes, That ne detur Vacuum, as the old bookes have it. But I rather, thinke for that they could not possibly en­dure his stinking breath came bolting vp, in order as they stood next these brave warriours Lees and all, not so much as a Landabrides being left behind; and here you must call to mind that all this was not done till between 7 and 8 at night, for which I promised to give you a further reason: Our Author would be loath to be found guilty of his slippe, who made Hercules bring vp Cerberus from Hell at noon day, when being un-used to the light, that Triple-headed, and so con­sequently Twelve legged curre, stumbled three times every stepp he went, and was ready to knocke at least one of his Choppes against every post he met; this was a pretty tolerable fore cast,

One guess more what Creatures these parties should be, & I have done: It being in the aire where they fought, I beleeve they were no other then two great swarmes of bees, striving for the propriety of some Rosemary hangings growing on a wall, in the Relators garden: And if wee take it thus, wee must understand, that the pillar and cloud from whence they came, were no other, then the Hive and candle burning in it, to shew them the way out, it being then darke, And then too the Author might very well have intituled his story, The History of the Maccabees:

All this were well enough: But did ever man talke more idly, when he telleth us of the approach of the armies each to other: It was observed saith he, that the North west army moved much swifter, and met the other more then halfe way: could he not be content to play the foole to himselfe, but he must needs pull passengers by the cloake with an It is observed, who otherwise might happily not have taken notice of his folly? for if there be any, he himselfe must beare the blame, since he brought the North west army in a coach to the place of battell, dropping them fresh and lusty out of his cloud as Chesse-men out of a bag and therefore no won­der if happily they were nimbler for a spurt then the other, who had come a long march that day, Having neither pillar nor cloud to ease them] in a direct line from the Antipodes, being faine to be their owne pioneers all the way: And yet for all his talke I beleeve if the truth were knowne, neither army had the ball of the [Page 8]other, nor perhaps the goal, but that the Relator out of great partiality gave them both to the North-west Army; For though I know no reason, but he ought to have stood equally affected; They being both alike, his own offspring, yet ever since the Declaratorie Bull of the old Parlament against Neutralitie, he is resolved to be of one side or other, and take to a Faction, although in a Fiction.

The Eastern Armie had no Commander in chief, but the North-west had, and him a gallant person, like the Sun] Mounted upon a dark brown Barbary Pegasus, who having a Scymitar in one hand, and a Caemiterium in the other, to bury therein all he should kill, rode up to the front of the enemie, and fought there all the while, which was I conceive a chief cause the other were beaten, fighting at very great disadvantage, having the Sun in their faces.

The fight continued halfe an hour] How, no longer? I wonder where this fellow got the nack of dispatching businesses of this nature in such a trice: What! Ta­ble spread? guests come? a running banquet? all either eaten or pocketed up, and then the Bells rung backward, Cloath taken away! Company gone! yea and room swept too, that no bodie can tell any bodie was there, and all this in lesse then an houre? Sure this was a rare Engineer: Ovid! why he was a fool to him in this kinde. What a strange circuit doth he fetch to bring in his simple tale De fratribus denti-natis? First we must hear a tale of a Cock and a Bull, in which last shape (a likely matter) Jove beareth away Cadmus sister; and we, as if we had nothing else to do, must go seek her with him, till at last we finde her in the shape of a Cow; it was a wonder, having been so long away, she had not a Calse by her side too: And then again, after many more preambles, trots, gallops, and now and then a Parenthetical hedg and ditch to take over, at length he bringeth us to the place where Cadmus was to fight with the Serpent, which me thinketh, if the Poet would have done any thing for him, he might have got knocked down ready to his hands: However with much adoe, he and Cadmus together make a shift to kill the Dragon, and having boned his jaws, he perswadeth this Wise-acres to sow the ground with the teeth, which having done, he rocketh him asleep in a cradle till harvest, where he might have snoared till this time, but that he was wakened with a uery strange confusion, His new crop of corn be­ing fallen together by the ears, and so continued threshing one another a pretty space in his sight, till a strong gale of winde laid them all one way; for that Cadmus eloquence did it I will never believe: he might well have spared some of this Preface, and not have omitted as he hath done, because he could not get them into Verse, some more remarkable passages, which yet I am fure are as true as most of the rest; As that this Fray went afterwards by name of the bat­tel of Cock-all; and that thereupon Cadmus instituted that antient Olympick game called Scale-pins, in memorie of nine of those gallants Lads, who were pla­ced by themselvs as a reserve, in such admired posture, that look which way you would, rank, file, or crosse, they still were seen three, three and three, all Dactyle feet, like the beginning of the first verse in Virgil, Ty-ty-re-tu-pa-tu-lae-re-cu-; which goodly order they maintained, till an hand- Granado, Anglice a Bowl, un­fortunately lighting among them, tipped them all down at once. I could have shewen this Poet a shorter cut; for if he must needs have his men without either flesh or blood, for the more likelihood of the storie, and better enduring the shock [Page 9]of the battel, he might but have gone to one or two of our London Teeth-chand­lers, & have taken whole bushels of this Bone-seed upon his word, or at most there needed but a deed of bargain and sale have passed between them, which might very properly have begun with the usual form of This Indenture, &c. This had been the nearer way; for then being ready strung, rank and file, to his hands; he needed but have sent them into the lists, they having a long time stood ready drawn, expecting when the word should have been given: But what do we talk of him for! Our Author I am sure would have taken this cours, if he had inten­ded any such mockery: But he thanketh you, he will not be perswaded to venture his teeth to Dantzick in hopes of I know not what return, nor yet to bury them alive in the earth, before he goeth thither for good and all; as much doubting, I cannot blame him, whether ever they might spring up again. But if he must needs sow before reap, he is for a crop of Mushroms, somwhat that will come up again quickly, all in a night, that he may be sure of his breakfast the next morning; And this method he useth in This invention. But that you may know I am as good at it as he, I will contract all in a lesse compasse, and yet put in somwhat that he left out, Our Landlord then, on the first of the last January, having been very melancholie many daies before, and sworn to see somwhat that night, what ever came of it; between 7 and 8 a night, having cleared his eie-sight, and thick­ned his common sence with a good round Boul of muddi-cappado, he steppeth me forth from the fire side into his yard, where having seated himself upon a three-storied horse-block, which stood just by the pales; the aire being very cold, that he could not possibly stay long out, presently by the word of command, starteth out a pillar from under the earth, as nimbly as ever Hiccius doctius out of Hocus Pocus cap: on the top of this pillar was seen a Cloud, out of this Cloud came forth an innumerable company of Souldiers, who being all in a trice set in order, without any speech at all made by the General to encourage them, they march towards another armie, which were seen coming on from an opposite quarter; streight they meet, encounter, rout, kill, vanish, and all is well again; why now! is not this better then to beheld in suspence as long as a man hangeth in chains? To be racked with tedious expectation? to be fed with news like Apes, a bit and a knock? As this day came intelligence of a great defeat given by our forces to the ene­my: next Post telleth us of numerous Recruits come to their Camp, whereby we are ne­ver the near; and so the whole year spendeth, somtime our owne, somtime the enemies Army declining engagement. What foolish dallying is this? Is this man-fight­ing? or not rather child-play? For my part, If when we are well we cannot be content, let us go to it quickly, agree who shall cut first, fight it out as these lads did, and so the last man take all: You are like to hear no more of these men I dare say, for our Author is no Cunctator Fabius, get the better who could, for he would not build any Castles in the aire for either side to retreat to; and tru­ly for my part, if such a thing must needs be, I am of of our Authors minde, The sooner over, the better; for though this Bear-heard did not well indeed to set these people together by the ears, yet he somwhat mended the matter, in stepping in with his Jacobs-staffe so soon as he did, and parting them: but then again, hee did very ill, to report as he doth, that one side had so much the better of the o­ther: For I spake with two or three of the North-east Armie, who say, that [Page 10]though they seemed indeed at first to be worsted, Their noses being more subject to bleeding then other mens, yet they made no question, as having, they were sure, the longer breath, but to have beaten the other in the end, would this spectator but have let them alone; which if I had been He, they should never have feared: But the truth is, there was somwhat in the winde with our Author, though he very cunningly would seem to anticipate any such, objection in laying down, There was then no winde at all stirring, yet he being very much afraid at the horrible product of his own fancie, having sufficiently Atkinized himself at this General Training, he was glad to lay the spirits, and hush all up again in quiet; in which sweet pickle, marvel not that I leave him, and have no more to do with him.

And now put all this together: The unheard of approach, and unexpected arri­vall, of these forces, being never before so much as dreamed of; The causlessnesse of their quarrel, who for ought we yet hear, It being then Eclipse, fought onely as they say for Moonshine: The place of combate in another guise ground then Callis sands, up in the aire: A brave open Country; The certain cruelty of their fight shooting Starres against one another as fast as hopps, and making all the kennels in via Lactea, run with blood; And yet at last, which is the wonder of all, The Harmlesse Conclusion of the whole, it being more then probable, there was never a man Killed? And then tell me, If ever you heard of such a Tragae-Comoediall Romance