An Elegiacall Epistle of
Fidelia, to her vnconstant Friend.
THE ARGVMENT.
This
Elegiacall Epistle, being a fragment of some greater Poeme, discouers the modest affections of a discreet and constant Woman, shadowed vnder the name of
Fidelia; wherein you may perceiue the height of their Passions, so farre as they seeme to agree with reason, and keepe within such decent bounds as beseemeth their Sex, but further it meddles not. The occasion seemes to proceed from some mutability in her friend, whose obiections shee heere presupposing, confuteth, and in the person of him iustly vpbraideth all that are subiect to the like change, or sicklenesse in minde. Among the rest, some more weightie Arguments then are (perhaps) expected in such a subiect, are briefly, and yet somewhat seriously handled.
OFt I haue heard tel, and now for truth I finde,
Once out of sight, and quickly out of minde.
And that it hath been rightly said of old,
Loue that's soon'st hot, is euer soonest cold.
[Page] Or else my teares at this time had not stain'd
The spotlesse paper, nor my lines complain'd.
I had not now, been forced to haue sent
These lines for
Nuncio's of my discontent;
Nor thus, exchanged, so vnhappily,
My songs of Mirth, to write an Elegie.
But, now I must; and, since I must doe so,
Let mee but craue, thou wilt not flout my woe:
Nor entertaine my sorrowes with a scoffe,
But, reade (at least) before thou cast them off.
And, though thy heart's too hard to haue compassion,
Oh blame not, if thou pitty not my
Passion,
For well thou know'st (alas, that er'e 'twas knowne)
There was a time (although that time be gone)
I, that for this, scarce dare a beggar bee,
Presum'd for more to haue commanded thee.
Yea, the
Day was, (but see how things may change)
When thou, and I, haue not been halfe so strange;
But oft embrac'd each other, gently greeting,
With such kinde words, as
Turtle, Doue, or
Sweeting.
Yea, had thy meaning, and those vowes of thine,
Prou'd but as faithfull, and as true as mine,
It still had been so: for (I doe not faine)
I should rejoyce it might be so againe.
But, sith thy
Loue growes cold, and thou vnkinde,
Be not displeas'd I somewhat breath my minde;
I am in hope, my words may proue a mirrour,
Whereon thou looking, may'st behold thine error.
[Page] And yet, the
Heauen, and my sad heart doth know,
How griu'd I am, and with what feeling woe
My minde is tortured, to thinke that I
Should be the brand of thy disloyalty:
Or, liue to be the Author of a line
That shall be printed with a fault of thine;
(Since if that thou but slightly touched be,
Deepe wounds of griefe, and shame, it strikes in me:)
And yet I must; ill hap compels me to
What I nere thought to haue had cause to do.
And therefore, seeing that some angry
Fate
Imposes on mee, what I so much hate:
Or, since it is so, that the Powers diuine
Mee (miserable) to such cares assigne;
Oh that
Loues patron, or some sacred
Muse,
Amongst my
Passions, would such Art infuse,
My well-fram'd words, and aiery sighs might proue
The happy blasts to re-inflame thy loue.
Or, at least, touch thee with thy fault so neere,
That thou might'st see thou wrong'st, who held thee deere:
Seeing, confesse the same, and so abhorre it,
Abhorring, pitty, and repent thee for it.
But
(Deare) I hope that I may call thee so,
(For thou art deare to mee, although a foe)
Tell mee, is't true, that I doe heare of thee,
And, by thy absence, true appeares to bee?
Can such abuse be in the Court of
Loue,
False and inconstant now, thou
Hee should'st proue?
[Page] He, that so wofull, and so pensiue sate,
Vowing his seruice at my feete of late?
Art thou that
quondam louer, whose sad eye
I seldome saw yet, in my presence dry?
And from whose gentle-seeming tongue I know
So many pitty-mouing words could flow?
Was't thou, so soughtst my loue, so seeking that
As if it had been all th'hadst aymed at?
Making me think thy
Passion without staine,
And gently quite thee with my loue againe?
With this perswasion I so fairely plac'd it,
Nor
Time, nor
Enuy, should haue ere defac'd it?
Is't so? haue I done thus much? and art thou
So ouer-cloyed with my fauours now?
Art wearsed since with louing, and estranged
So far? Is thy affection so much changed,
That I of all my hopes must be deceyued,
And all good thoughts of thee be quite bereaued?
Then true I finde, which long before this day
I fear'd my selfe, and heard some wiser say;
That there is nought on earth so sweet, that can
Long relish with the curious taste of Man.
Happy was I; yea, well it was with mee,
Before I came to be bewitch'd by thee.
I ioy'd the sweet'st content that euer
Maid
Possessed yet; and truely well-a-paid,
Made to my selfe (alone) as pleasant mirth
As euer any
Virgine did on earth.
[Page] The melody I vs'd was free, and such
As that Bird makes, whom neuer hand did touch;
But, vn-allur'd, (with
Fowlers whistling) flies
Aboue the reach of humane treacheries.
And (well I doe remember) often then
Could I reade o're the pollicies of men;
Discouer what vncertainties they were;
How they would sigh, looke sad, protest, and sweare;
Nay, faigne to die, when they did neuer proue
The slendrest touch of a right-worthy loue:
But had chil'd hearts, whose dulnesse vnderstood
No more of
Passion, then they did of good.
All which I noted well, and in my minde
(A generall humour amongst women-kinde)
This vow I made; (thinking to keepe it than)
That neuer the faire tongue of any man,
Nor his complaint, though neuer so much grieu'd,
Should moue my heart to liking whil'st I liu'd.
But, who can say, what she shall liue to do?
I haue beleeu'd, and let in liking to,
And that so farre, I cannot yet see how
I may so much as hope, to helpe it now;
Which makes mee thinke, what e're we
women say,
Another minde will come another day.
And that men may to things vnhop'd for clime,
Who watch but
Opportunity and
Time.
For 'tis well knowne, we were not made of clay,
Or such course, and ill-temper'd stuffe as they.
[Page] For he that fram'd vs of their flesh, did daigne
When 'twas at best, to new refine't againe.
Which makes vs euer since the kinder
Creatures,
Of farre more flexible, and yeelding
Natures.
And as wee oft excell in outward parts,
So wee haue nobler and more gentle hearts.
Which, you well knowing, daily doe deuise
How to imprint on them your
Cruelties.
But doe I sinde my cause thus bad indeed?
Or else on things imaginary feed?
Am I the lasse that late so truly iolly,
Made my selfe merry oft, at others folly?
Am I the Nymph that
Cupids fancies blam'd,
That was so cold, so hard to be inflam'd?
Am I my selfe? or is my selfe that
Shee
Who from this
Thraldome, or such falshoods free,
Late own'd mine owne heart, and full merry then,
Did fore-warne others to beware of Men?
And could not, hauing taught them what to doe,
Now learne my selfe, to take heede of you to?
Foole that I am, I feare my guerdon's iust,
In that I knew this, and presum'd to trust.
And yet (alas) for ought that I could tell,
One sparke of goodnesse in the world might dwell:
And then, I thought, If such a thing might be,
Why might not that one sparke remaine in thee?
For thy faire out-side, and thy fayrer tongue,
Did
promise much, although thy yeares were young.
[Page] And
Vertue (wheresoeuer she be now)
Seem'd then, to sit enthron'd vpon thy brow.
Yea, sure it was: but, whether 'twere or no,
Certaine I am, and was perswaded so.
Which made me loth to thinke, that words of fashion,
Could be so fram'd, so ouer-laid with
Passion;
Or sighes so feeling, fain'd from any brest.
Nay, say thou hadst been false in all the rest;
Yet from thy eye, my heart such notice tooke,
Me thought, guile could not faine so sad a looke.
But now I'ue try'd, my bought experience knowes,
They oft are worst that make the fairest showes.
And howsoe're men faine an outward grieuing,
'Tis neither worth respecting, nor belieuing:
For, she that doth one to her mercy take,
Warmes in her bosome but a frozen snake:
Which heated with her fauours, gather sence,
And stings her to the heart in recompence.
But tell me why, and for what secret spight
You in poore womens miseries delight?
For so it seemes; else why d'yee labour for
That, which when 'tis obtained, you abhor?
Or to what end doe you endure such paine
To win our loue, and cast it off againe?
Oh that we either your hard hearts could borrow,
Or else your strengths, to helpe vs beare our sorrow:
But we are cause of all this griefe and shame,
And we haue none but our owne selues to blame:
[Page] For still we see your falshood for our learning.
Yet neuer can haue power to tak't for warning;
But (as if borne to be deluded by you)
We know you trustlesse, and yet still we try you.
(Alas) what wrong was in my power to doe thee?
Or what despight haue I er'e done vnto thee?
That thou shouldst chuse Me, aboue all the rest,
To bethy scorne, and thus be made a iest?
Must mens il natures such true villaines proue them,
To make thē wrong those most that most do loue them;
Couldst thou finde none in
Countrey, Towne or
Court,
But onely Me, to make thy
Foole, thy sport?
Thou knowst I haue no wanton courses runne,
Nor seemed easie vnto lewdnesse wonne.
And (though I cannot boast me of much wit,)
Thou saw'st no signe of fondnesse in me yet.
Nor did ill nature euer so ore-sway me,
To flout at any that did woe or pray me,
But grant I had been guilty of abusage,
Of thee I'me sure I ne're deseru'd such vsage.
But thou wert grieued to behold my smilings.
When I was free from loue, and thy beguilings.
Or to what purpose else didst thou bestow
Thy time, and study to delude me so?
Hast thou good parts? and dost thou bend them all
To bring those that ne're hated thee in thrall?
Prethee take heed, although thou yet inioy'st them
They'l be tooke from thee, if thou so imploy'st them.
[Page] For though I wish not the least harme to thee,
I feare, the iust
Heauens will reuenged be.
Oh! what of
Mee by this time had become,
If my desires with thine had hapt to rome,
Or I, vnwisely, had consented to
What (shamelesse) once thou didst attempt to doe?
I might haue falne, by those immodest trickes,
Had not some power beene stronger then my Sex.
And if I should haue so been drawne to folly,
I saw thee apt enough to be vnholy.
Or if my weakenesse had beene prone to sinne,
I poorely by thy strength had succour'd bin.
You Men make vs belieue you doe but try,
And that's your part, (you say) ours to deny.
Yet I much feare, if we through frailty stray,
There's few of you within your bounds will stay;
But, maugre all your seeming
Vertue, be
As ready to forget your selues, as we.
I might haue fear'd thy part of loue not strong,
When thou didst offer me so base a wrong:
And that I after loath'd thee not, did proue
In mee some extraordinary
Loue.
For sure had any other but in thought,
Presum'd vnworthily what thou hast sought,
Might it appeare, I should doe thus much for him,
With a scarce reconciled hate abhorre him.
My young experience neuer yet did know
Whether desire might range so farre, or no,
[Page] To make true
Louers carelesly request,
What rash enioyning makes them most vnblest,
Or blindly thorow frailty giue consenting
To that, which done brings nothing but repenting.
But in my iudgement it doth rather proue
That they are fir'd with lust, then warm'd with loue.
And if it be for proofe men so proceed,
It shewes a doubt, else what doe tryals neede?
And where is that man liuing euer knew
That false distrust, could be with loue that's true?
Since the meere cause of that vnblam'd effect,
Such an opinion is, that hates suspect.
And yet, thee and thy loue I will excuse,
If thou wilt neither me, nor mine abuse.
For, Ile suppose thy passion made thee proffer
That vnto me, thou to none else wouldst offer,
And so, thinke thou, if I haue thee deni'd,
Whom I more lou'd then all men else beside;
What hope haue they such fauour to obtaine,
That neuer halfe so much respect could gaine?
Such was my loue, that I did value thee
Aboue all things below eternity.
Nothing on
Earth vnto my heart was nearer
No Ioy so prized, nor no Iewell dearer.
Nay: I doe feare I did
Idolatrize;
For which
Heauens wrath inflicts these miseries,
And makes the things which were for blessings lent,
To be renewers of my discontent.
[Page] Where was there any of the
Naiades,
The
Dryad's, or the
Hamadryades?
Which of the
Brittish shires can yeeld againe,
A mistresse of the Springs, or Wood, or Plaine?
Whose eye enioy'd more sweet contents then mine,
Till I receiu'd my ouerthrow by thine?
Where's she did more delight in Springs and Rils?
Where's she that walk'd more Groues, or Downs, or Hils?
Or could by such faire artlesse prospect, more
Adde by conceit, to her contentments store
Then I; whilst thou wert true, and with thy Graces
Didst giue a pleasing presence to those places?
But now
What is? What was hath ouerthrowne,
My Rose deckt allies, now with Rue are strowne;
And from those flowers that honyed vse to be,
I sucke nought now but iuyce to poyson mee.
For eu'n as she, whose gentle spirit can raise,
To apprehend
Loues noble mysteries,
Spying a precious
Iewell richly set,
Shine in some corner of her
Cabenet,
Taketh delight at first to gaze vpon
The pretty lustre of the sparkling stone,
(And pleas'd in mind, by that doth seeme to see
How vertue shines through base obscurity;)
But prying neerer, seeing it doth proue
Some relique of her deere deceased
Loue,
Which to her sad remembrance doth lay ope,
What she most sought, and sees most far from hope:
[Page] Fainting almost beneath her
Passions weight,
And quite forgetfull of her first conceit:
Looking vpon't againe, from thence she borrowes
Sad melancholy thoughts to feed her sorrowes.
So I beholding
Natures curious bowers,
Seel'd, strow'd, and trim'd vp with leaues, hearbes, and flowers.
Walke pleased on a while, and doe deuize,
How on each obiect I may moralize.
But er'e I pace on many steps, I see
There stands a
Hawthorne that was trim'd by thee:
Here thou didst once slip off the virgin sprayes,
To crowne me with a wreath of liuing Bayes.
On such a Banke I see how thou didst lye,
When viewing of a shady
Muthery,
The hard mishap thou didst to me discusse
Of louing
Thysbe, and young
Piramus:
And oh (thinke I) how pleasing was it then,
Or would be yet, might he returne agen.
But if some neighbouring
Row doe draw me to
Those
Arbors, where the shadowes seeme to wooe
The weary loue-sicke
Passenger, to sit
And view the beauties
Nature strowes on it;
How faire (thinke I) would this sweet place appeare,
If he I loue, were present with me heere.
Nay, euery seuerall obiect that I see,
Doth seuerally (me thinkes) remember thee.
But the delight I vs'd from thence to gather,
I now exchange for eares, and seeke them rather.
But those whose dull and grosse affections can
Extend but onely to desire a
Man,
Cannot the depth of these rare
Passions know:
For their imaginations flagge too low.
And cause their base
Conceits doe apprehend
Nothing but that whereto the flesh doth tend;
In
Loues embraces they neere reach vnto
More of content than the brute
Creatures do.
Neither can any iudge of this, but such
Whose brauer mindes for brauer thoughts doe touch.
And hauing spirits of a nobler frame,
Feele the true heate of
Loues vnquenched flame.
They may conceiue aright what smarting sting
To their
Remembrances the place will bring,
Where they did once enioy, and then doe misse,
What to their soules most deere and precious is.
With mee 'tis so; for those walkes that once seem'd
Pleasing, when I of thee was more esteem'd,
To me appeare most desolate and lonely,
And are the places now of torment onely.
Where I the highest of contents did borrow,
There am I paid it home with deepest sorrow.
Vnto one place, I doe remember well,
We walkt the eu'nings to heare
Phylomel:
And that seemes now to want the light it had,
The shadow of the
Groue's more dull and sad,
As if it were a place but fit for Fowles,
That screech ill-lucke; as melancholy
Owles,
[Page] Or fatall
Rauens, that seld' boding good,
[...]ke their blacke
Auguries from some darke wood.
Then if from thence I halfe despairing goe,
Another place begins another wo:
For thus vnto my thought it semes to say,
Hither thou saw'st him riding once that way:
Thither to meete him thou didst nimbly hast thee,
You he alighted, and eu'n there embrac'd thee:
Which whilst I sighing wish to doe againe,
Another obiect brings another paine.
For passing by that
Greene, which (could it speake)
Would tell it saw vs run at
Barly-breake;
There I beheld, what on a thin rin'd tree
Thou hadst engrauen for the loue of me;
When we two, all one in heate of day,
With chaste imbraces draue swift houres away.
Then I remember to (vnto my smart)
How loath we were, when time compel'd to part;
How cunningly thy
Passions thou couldst faine,
In taking leaue, and comming backe againe:
So oft, vntill (as seeming to forget
We were departing) downe againe we set?
And freshly in that sweet discourse went on,
Which now I almost faint to thinke vpon.
Viewing againe those other walkes and Groues
That haue beene witnesses of our chaste loues;
When I beheld those Trees whose tender skin
Hath that cut out, which still cuts me within.
[Page] Or come, by chance, vnto that pretty Rill
Where thou wouldst fit, and teach the neighbouring hill
To answere, in an Eccho, vnto those
Rare
Problems which thou often didst propose.
When I come there (thinke I) if these could take
That vse of words and speech which we partake,
They might vnfold a thousand pleasures then
Which I shall neuer liue to taste agen.
And thereupon,
Remembrance doth so racke
My thoughts, with representing what I lacke,
That in my minde those Clerkes doe argue well,
Which hold
Priuation the great'st plague of hell.
For there's no torment gripes mee halfe so bad,
As the
Remembrance of those joyes I had.
Oh hast thou quite forgot, when sitting by
The bankes of
Thame, beholding how the
Fry
Play'd on the siluer-waues? There where I first
Granted to make my
Fortune thus accurst;
There where thy too-too earnest suit compeld
My ouer-soone beleeuing heart to yeeld
One fauour first, which then another drew
To get another, till (alas) I rue
That day and houre, thinking I nere should need
(As now) to grieue for doing such a deed.
So freely I my curtesies bestow'd,
That whose I was vnwarily I show'd:
And to my heart such passage made for thee,
Thou canst not to this day remoued be,
[Page] And what breast could resist it, hauing seene
How true thy loue had in appearance beene?
For (I shall ne're forget) when thou hadst there
Laid open euery discontent and care,
Wherewith thou deeply seem'dst to me opprest,
When thou (as much as any could protest)
Had'st vow'd and sworne, and yet perceiu'dst no signe
Of pitty-mouing in this brest of mine:
Well Loue (sald'st thou) since neither sigh nor vow,
Nor any seruice may auaile me now:
Since neither the recitall of my smart,
Nor those strong
Passions that assaile my heart;
Nor any thing may moue thee to beliefe
Of these my sufferings, or to grant reliefe:
Since there's no comfort, nor desert, that may
Get mee so much as
Hope of what I pray;
Sweet
Loue farewell; farewell faire beauties light,
And euery pleasing obiect of the sight:
My poore despayring heart heere biddeth you,
And all Content, for euermore, adue.
Then eu'n as thou seemd'st ready to depart;
Reaching that hand, which after gaue my hart,
(And thinking this sad
Farewell did proceed
From a sound breast, but truely mou'd indeed)
I stayed thy departing from mee so,
Whilst I stood mute with sorrow, thou for show.
And the meane while as I beheld thy looke,
My eye th'impression of such
Pitty tooke,
[Page] That, with the strength of
Passion ouercome,
A deep-fetcht sigh my heart came breathing from:
Whereat thou (euer wisely vsing this
To take aduantage when it offered is)
Renewd'st thy sute to mee, who did afford
Consent, in silence first, and then in word.
So that for yeelding thou maist thanke thy wit,
And yet when euer I remember it,
Trust me, I muse, and often (wondring) thinke,
Thorough what craney, or what secret chinke
That
Loue, vnwares so like a slye close Else,
Did to my heart insinuate it selfe.
Gallants I had, before thou cam'st to woo,
Could as much loue, and as well court me to;
And, though they had not learned so the fashion,
Of acting such well counterfeited
Passion;
In wit, and person, they did equall thee,
And worthier seem'd, vnlesse thoul't faithfull be.
Yet still vnmou'd, vnconquer'd I remain'd:
No, not one thought of loue was entertain'd:
Nor could they brag of the least fauour to them,
Saue what meere curtesie enioyn'd to doe them.
Hard was my heart: But would't had harder bin,
And then, perhaps, I had not let thee in;
Thou,
Tyrant, that art so imperious there,
And onely tak'st delight to
Dominere.
But held I out such strong, such oft assailing,
And euer kept the honour of preuailing?
[Page] Was this poore breast from loues allurings free,
Cruell to all, and gentle vnto thee?
Did I vnlocke that strong affections dore,
That neuer could be broken ope before,
Onely to thee? and, at thy intercession,
So freely giue vp all my hearts possession:
That to my selfe I left not one poore veine,
Nor power, nor will, to put thee from't againe?
Did I doe this, (and all on thy bare vow)
And wilt thou thus requite my kindnesse now?
Oh that thou eyther hadst not learn'd to faine,
Or I had power to cast thee off againe!
How is it that thou art become so rude,
And ouer-blinded by
Ingratitude?
Swar'st thou so deeply that thou wouldst perseuer.
That I might thus be cast away for euer?
Well, then 'as true, that Louers periuries,
Among some men, are thought no iniuries:
And that she onely hath least cause of griefe,
Who of your words hath smal'st, or no beliefe.
Had I the wooer bin, or fondly won,
This had bin more tho, then thou couldst haue don;
But, neither being so, what Reason is
On thy side, that should make thee offer this?
I know, had I beene false, or my faith fail'd,
Thou wouldst at womens ficklenesse haue rail'd;
And if in mee it had an error bin,
In thee shall the same fault be thought no sin?
[Page] Rather I hold that which is bad in mee,
Will be a greater blemish vnto thee:
Because, by
Nature, thou art made more strong,
And therefore abler to endure a wrong.
But 'tis our
Fortune, you'le haue all the power,
Onely the
Care and
Burden must be our.
Nor can you be content a wrong to do,
Vnlesse you say the blame vpon vs to.
Oh that there were some gentle minded
Poet
That knew my heart, as well as now I know it;
And would endeare me to his loue so much,
To giue the world (though but) a slender touch
Of that sad
Passion which now clogs my heart,
And shew my truth, and thee how false thou art:
That all might know, what is beleeu'd by no man,
There's ficklenesse in men, and faith in woman.
Thou saw'st I first let
Pitty in, then liking,
And lastly, that which was thy onely seeking:
And, when I might haue scorn'd that loue of thine,
(As now vngently thou despisest mine,)
Among the inmost Angles of my brest,
To lodge it by my heart I thought it best:
Which thou hast stolne to, like a thankelesse Mate,
And left mee nothing but a blacke selfe hate.
What canst thou say for this, to stand contending?
What colour hast thou left for thy offending?
Thy wit, perhaps, can some excuse deuise,
And faine a colour for those iniuries;
[Page] But well I know, if thou excuse this treason,
It must be by some greater thing then reason.
Are any of those
vertues yet defac'd,
On which thy first affection seemed plac'd?
Hath any secret foe my true faith wronged,
To rob the blisse that to my heart belonged?
What then? shall I condemned be vnheard,
Before thou knowest how I may be clear'd?
Thou art acquainted with the times condition,
Know'st it is full of enuy, and suspition,
So that the war'est in thought, word, and action,
Shall oft be iniur'd, by foule-mouth'd datraction:
And therefore thou (me-thinkes) should'st wisely pause
Before thou credit rumors without cause.
But I haue gotten such a confidence
In thy opinion, of my innocence:
It is not that, I know, with-holds thee now,
Sweet, tell mee then; is it some sacred vow?
Hast thou resolued, not to ioyne thy hand
With any one in
Hymens holy band?
Thou shouldst haue done it then, when thou wert free,
Before thou hadst bequeath'd thy selfe to mee.
What vow dost deeme more pleasing vnto
Heauen,
Then what is by vnfained louers giuen?
If any be, yet sure it frowneth at
Those that are made for contradicting that.
But, if thou wouldst liue chastely all thy life,
That thou maist do, though we be
man and
wife:
[Page] Or, if thou long'st a
Virgin-death to die,
Why (if it be thy pleasure) so doe I.
Make mee but thine, and I'le (contented) be
A
Virgin still, yet liue and lie with thee.
Then let not thy inuenting braine assay
To mocke, and still delude mee euery way;
But call to minde, how thou hast deepely sworne
Nor to neglect, nor leaue mee thus forlorne.
And if thou wilt not be to mee as when
Wee first did loue, doe but come see mee then.
Vouchsafe that I may sometime with thee walke,
Or sit and looke on thee, or heare thee talke;
And I that most content once aymed at,
Will thinke there is a world of blisse in that.
Dost thou suppose that my
Desires denies
With thy affections well to sympathize?
Or such peruersnesse hast thou found in me,
May make our
Natures disagreeing be?
Thou knowst when thou didst wake I could not sleepe;
And if thou wert but sad, that I should weepe.
Yet (euen when the teares my cheeke did staine)
If thou didst smile, why I could smile againe:
I neuer did contrary thee in ought:
Nay, thou canst tell, I oft haue spake thy thought.
Waking; the selfe-same course with thee I runne,
And sleeping, oftentimes our dreames were one.
The Dyall-needle, though it sence doth want,
Still bends to the beloued
Adamant;
[Page] Lift the one vp, the other vpward tends;
If this fall downe, that presently descends:
Turne but about the stone, the steele turnes to;
Then straight returnes, if so the other do;
And, if it stay, with trembling keepes one place,
As if it (panting) long'd for an imbrace.
So was't with mee: for, if thou merry wert,
That mirth of thine, mou'd ioy within my heart:
I sighed to, when thou didst sigh or frowne:
When thou wert sicke, thou hast perceiu'd me swoone;
And being sad, haue oft, with forc'd delight,
Striu'd to giue thee content beyond my might.
When thou wouldst talke, then haue I talk'd with thee,
And silent been, when thou wouldst silent be.
If thou abroad didst goe, with ioy I went;
If home thou lou'dst, at home was my content:
Yea, what did to my
Nature disagree,
I could make pleasing, cause it pleased thee.
But, if't be either my weake Sex, or youth,
Makes thee misdoubt my vndistained truth,
Know this; as none (till that vnhappy hower,
When I was first madethine,) had euer power
To moue my heart, by vowes, or teares expence;
No more (I sweare) could any
Creature since.
No lookes but thine, though aim'd with
Passions Art,
Could pierce so deepe to penetrate my hart.
No name but thine, was welcome to my care;
No word did I so soone, so gladly heare:
[Page] Nor euer could my eyes behold or see,
What I was since delighted in, but thee.
And sure thou wouldst beleeue it to be so,
If I could tell, or words might make thee know,
How many a weary night my tumbled bed
Hath knowne me sleepelesse: what salt-teares I'ue shed;
What scalding-sighes, the markes of soules opprest,
Haue hourely breathed from my carefull brest.
Nor wouldst thou deeme those waking sorrowes
[...]
If thou mightst see how sleeping I am paind.
For if sometimes I chance to take a slumber,
Vnwelcome dreames my broken rest doth cumber.
Which dreaming makes me start, starting with feares
Wakes; and so by waking I renew my cares:
Vntill my eyes ore-tir'd with watch and weeping,
Drownd in their owne flouds fall againe to sleeping.
Oh! that thou couldst but thinke, when last wee parted,
How much I, grieuing for thy absence, smarted:
My very soule fell sicke, my heart to aking,
As if they had their last
Farewels beene taking;
Or feared by some secret Diuination,
This thy reuolt, and causelesse alteration.
Didst thou not feele how loth that hand of mine,
Was to let goe the hold it had of thine?
And with what heauy, what vnwilling looke
I leaue of thee, and then of comfort tooke?
I know thou didst; and though now thus thou doe,
I am deceiu'd, but then it grieu'd thee to.
Then, if I so with
Loues fell passion vext
For thy departure onely was perplext,
When I had left to strengthen me some trust;
And hope, that thou wouldst nere haue prou'd vniust:
What was my torture then, and hard endurance,
When of thy falshood I receiu'd assurance.
Alas, my Tongue, a-while, with griefe was dumbe,
And a cold shuddering did my ioynts benumme,
Amazement seiz'd my thought, and so preuailed,
I found me ill, but knew not what I ailed.
Nor can I yet tell, since my suffering then
Was more then could be showne by
Poets Pen;
Or well conceiu'd by any other hart
Then that which in such care hath borne a part.
Oh me; how loth was I to haue beleeu'd
That to be true, for which so much I grieu'd?
How gladly would I haue perswaded bin,
There had bin no such matter, no such sin.
I would haue had my heart thinke that (I knew
To be the very truth) not to be true.
Why may not this, thought I, some vision be,
Some sleeping dreame, or waking phantasie,
Begotten by my ouer-blinded folly,
Or else engendred through my
Melancholy?
But finding it so reall (thought I) then
Must I be cast from all my hopes agen?
What are become of all those fading blisses,
Which late my hope had, and now so much misses?
[Page] Where is that future fickle happinesse
Which I so long expected to possesse?
And, thought I to; where are his dying
Passions,
His honied words, his bitter lamentations?
To what end were his
Sonnets, Epigrams,
His pretty
Posies, witty
Anagrams?
I could not thinke, all that might haue been fain'd,
Nor any faith, I thought so firme, bin stain'd.
Nay, I doe sure and confidently know,
It is not possible it should be so:
If that rare Art and
Passion was thine owne,
Which in my presence thou hast often showne.
But, since thy change, my much-presaging heart
Is halfe afraid, thou some impostor wert:
Or that thou didst but (Player-like addrest)
Act that which flow'd from some more gentle brest.
Thy puft inuention, with worse matter swolne,
Those thy conceits from better wits hath stolne:
Or else (I know) it could not be, that thou
Shouldst be so ouer-cold as thou art now;
Since those, who haue that, feelingly, their owne,
Euer possesse more worth conceal'd, then knowne.
And if
Loue euer any Mortals touch,
To make a braue impression, 'tis in such,
Who sworne loues Chaplaines, will not violate
That, whereunto themselues they consecrate.
But oh you noble brood, on whom the World
The slighted burthen of neglect hath hurl'd,
[Page] (Because your thoughts for higher obiects borne,
Their groueling humors and affection scorne)
You, whom the
Gods, to heare your straines, will follow,
Whilst you doe court the sisters of
Apollo.
You, whom there's none that's worthy, can neglect,
Or any that vnworthy is, affect.
Oh let not those that seeke to doe you shame,
Bewitch vs with those songs they cannot frame:
The noblest of our Sexe, and fairest to,
Doe euer loue and honour such as you.
Then wrong vs not so much to giue your
Passion
To those that haue it but in imitation:
And in their dull breasts neuer feele the power
Of such deepe thoughts as sweetly moue in your.
As well as you, they vs thereby abuse,
For (many times) when we our
Louers chuse,
Where we thinke
Nature, that rich
Iewell, sets
Which shines in you, we light on counterfets.
But see, see whither discontentment beares me,
And to what vncoth straines my
Passion reares me:
Yet pardon me, I here, againe repent,
If I haue erred through that discontent.
Be what thou wilt, be counterfeit or right,
Be constant, serious, or be vaine, or light,
My loue remaines inuiolate the same,
Thou canst be nothing that can quench this flame,
But it will burne as long as thou hast breath
To keepe it kindled (if not after death)
[Page] Nere was there one more true, then I to thee,
And though my faith must now despised be,
Vnpriz'd, vnualued at the lowest rate,
Yet this Ile tell thee, 'tis not all thy state,
Nor all that better-seeming worth of thine,
Can buy thee such another
Loue as mine:
Liking it may, but oh there's as much oddes,
Twixt loue and that, as betweene men and Gods.
It is a purchase not procur'd with treasure,
As some fooles thinke, nor to be gaind at pleasure:
For were it so, and any could assure it,
What would not some men part with, to procure it?
But though thou weigh't not, as thou ought'st to do,
Thou knowst I loue; and once didst loue mee to.
Then where's the cause of this dislike in thee?
Suruey thy selfe, I hope there's none in mee.
Yet looke on her from whom thou art estranged?
See, is my person, or my beauty changed?
Once thou didst praise it, prethee view't agen,
And marke ift be not still the same twas then:
No false
Vermilion-dye my cheeke distaines,
'Tis the poore bloud disperst through pores and vaines,
Which thou hast oft seen through my fore-head flushing,
To shew no dawby-colour hid my blushing:
Nor neuer shall:
Vertue, I hope, will saue mee,
Contented with that beauty
Nature gaue mee.
Or, ift seeme lesse, for that griefes-vaile had hid it,
Thou threwst it on mee, 'twas not I that did it,
And canst againe restore, what may repaire
All that's decay'd, and make me far more faire.
Which if thou doe, I'le be more wary than
To keep't for thee vnblemisht, what I can:
And cause at best 'twill want much of perfection,
The rest shall be supply'd with true affection.
But I doe feare, it is some others riches,
Whose more abundance that thy minde bewitches,
That baser obiect, that too generall aime,
Makes thee my lesser
Fortune to disclaime.
Fie, canst thou so degenerate in spirit,
As to prefer the meanes before the merit?
(A though I cannot say it is in mee)
Such worth sometimes with pouerty may be
To equalize the match she takes vpon her;
Tho th'other vaunt of
Birth, Wealth, Beauty, Honour:
And many a one that did for greatnesse wed,
Would gladly change it for a meaner bed.
Yet are my
Fortunes knowne indifferent,
Not basely meane, but such as may content:
And though I yeeld the better to be thine,
I may be bold to say thus much, for mine;
That if thou couldst of them and me esteeme,
Neither thy state, nor birth, would mis-beseeme:
Or if it did; how can I help't (alas)
Thou, not alone, before knew'st what it was.
But I (although not fearing so to speed)
Did also disinable't more than need,
[Page] And yet thou woo'dst, and wooing didst perseuer,
As if thou hadst intended
Loue for euer:
Yea, thy account of wealth thou mad'st so small,
Thou had'st not any question of't at all;
But hating much that peasant-like condition,
Did'st seeme displeas'd I held it in suspition.
Whereby I thinke, if nothing else doe thwart vs,
It cannot be the want of that will part vs.
Yea, I doe rather doubt indeed, that this
The needlesse feare of friends displeasure is.
Yes, that's the barre which stops out my delight,
And all my hope and ioy confoundeth quite,
But beares there any in thy heart such sway
To shut mee thence, and wipe thy loue away?
Can there be any friend that hath the power,
To disvnite hearts so conioyn'd as our?
E're I would haue so done by thee; I'de rather
Haue parted with one deerer then my father.
For though the will of our Creator bindes
Each Childe to learne and know his Parents mindes;
Yet sure I am, so iust a
Deitie,
Commandeth nothing against
Pietie.
Nor doth that band of duty giue them leaue,
To violate their faith, or to deceiue.
And though that
Parents haue authority,
To rule their children in minority:
Yet they are neuer granted such power on them,
That will allow to tyrannize vpon them;
[Page] Or vse them vnder their command so ill,
To force them, without reason, to their will.
For who hath read in all the Sacred-writ,
Of any one compeld to marriage (yet?)
What father so vnkinde (thereto requir'd)
Denide his
Childe the match that he desir'd,
So that he found the Lawes did not forbid it?
I thinke those gentler ages no men did it.
In those daies therefore for them to haue bin
Contracted without licence had been sin?
Since there was more good
Nature among men,
And euery one more truly louing then.
But now (although we stand obliged still
To labour for their liking, and good-will)
There is no duty whereby they may tie vs
From ought which without reason they deny vs:
For I do thinke, it is not onely meant,
Children should aske, but
Parents should consent:
And that they erre, their duty as much breaking,
For not consenting, as we not for speaking.
"It is no maruell many matches be
"Concluded now without their priuity;
"Since they, through greedy
Auarice misled,
"Their interest in that haue forfeited.
For, some respectlesse of all care, doe marry
Hot youthfull
-May, to cold old
-Ianuary.
Some, for a greedy end, doe basely tie
The sweetest-faire, to soule-deformitie.
[Page] Forcing a loue from where 'twas placed late,
To re-ingraffe it where it turnes to hate.
It seemes no cause of hindrance in their eyes,
Though manners nor affections sympathize.
And two Religions by their rules of state,
They may in one made body tolerate;
As if they did desire that double stemme,
Should fruitfull beare but
Neuters like to them.
Alas, how many numbers of both kindes
By that haue euer discontented mindes:
And liue (though seeming vnto others well)
In the next torments vnto those of hell?
How many, desprate growne by this their sinne,
Haue both vndone themselues and all their kinne?
Many a one, we see, it makes to fall
With the too-late repenting
Prodigall.
Thousands (though else by nature gentler giuen,)
To act the horridst murthers oft are driuen.
And (which is worse) there's many a carelesse else,
(Vnlesse Heauen pitty) kils and damnes his selfe.
Oh what hard heart, or what vnpittying eyes,
Could hold from teares to see those Tragedies,
Parents, by their neglect in this, haue hurld
Vpon the Stage of this respectlesse World?
'Tis not one
Man, one
Family, one
Kinne,
No nor one
Countrey that hath ruin'd bin
By such their
folly, which the cause hath prou'd,
That forraine oft, and ciuill warres were mou'd
[Page] By such beginnings many a City lies
Now in the dust, whose
Turrets brau'd the skies:
And diuers
Monarchs by such fortunes crost,
Haue seene their Kingdomes fir'd, and spoil'd, and lost▪
Yet all this while, thou seest, I mention not,
The ruine, shame, and chastity hath got;
For 'tis a taske too infinite to tell
How many thousands that would haue done well,
Doe, by the meanes of this, suffer desires
To kindle in their hearts vnlawfull fires:
Nay some, in whose could breast nere flame had bin,
Haue onely for meere vengeance falne to sin.
My selfe haue seene, and my heart bled to see't,
A wit-lesse Clowne enioy a match vnmeet.
She was a Lasse that had a looke to moue
The heart of cold
Diogenes to loue:
Her eye was such, whose euery glance did know
To kindle flames vpon the hils of Snow;
And by her powerfull piercings could imprint,
Or sparkle fire into a heart of flint:
And yet (vnlesse I much deceiued be)
In very thought did hate immodestie.
And (had sh'enioyd the man she could haue lou'd)
Might, to this day, haue liued vn-reprou'd:
But, being forc'd, perforce, by seeming▪ friends,
With her consent, she her contentment ends.
In that, compel'd, her-selfe to him shee gaue,
Whose Bed, shee rather could haue with
[...] her Graue;
[Page] And since, I heare, what I much feare is true,
That shee hath hidden shame and fame adue.
Such are the causes now that
Parents quite
Are put beside much of their ancient right:
Their feare of this, makes children to with-hold
From giuing them those dues which else they would:
And these thou see'st are the too-fruitfull ils,
Which daily spring from their vnbridled wils.
Yet they, forsooth, will haue it vnderstood,
That all their study, is their childrens good.
A seeming
-Loue shall couer all they do:
When, if the matter were well look't into,
Their carefull reach is chiefly to fulfill
Their owne foule, greedy, and insatiate will:
Who, quite forgetting they were euer young,
Would haue the Children dote, with them, on dung.
Grant, betwixt two, there be true loue, content,
Birth not mis seeming, wealth sufficient,
Equality in yeares, an honest fame,
In euery-side the person without blame,
And they obedient too: What can you gather
Of Loue, or of affection, in that father,
That but a little to augment his treasure,
(Perhaps, no more but onely for his pleasure,)
Shall force his Childe to one he doth abhor,
From her he loues, and justly seeketh for;
Compelling him (for such mis-fortune grieu'd)
To die with care, that might with ioy haue liu'd?
[Page] This you may say is
Loue, and sweare as well,
There's paines in
Heauen, and delights in
Hell:
Or, that the Diuels fury and austerity
Proceeds out of his care of our posterity.
Would
Parents (in this age) haue vs begin
To take by their eyes, our affections in?
Or doe they thinke we beare them in our fist,
That we may still remoue them as wee list?
It is impossible it should be thus,
For we are rul'd by
Loue, not Loue by vs:
And so our power so much ner'e reached to,
To know where we shall loue, vntill we doe.
And when it comes, hide it awhile wee may,
But 'tis not in our strengths to driu't away.
Either mine owne eye should my chuser be,
Or I would ner'e weare
Hymens Liuery.
For who is he so neare my heart doth rest,
To know what 'tis, that mine approued best?
I haue my selfe beheld those men, whose frame
And outward personages had nought of blame:
They had (what might their good proportion grace)
The much more mouing part, a comely face,
With many of those complements, which we
In common men, of the best breeding see.
They had discourse, and wit enough to carry
Themselues in fashion, at an
Ordinary;
Gallants they were, lou'd company and sport,
Wore fauours, and had
Mistresses in
Court.
[Page] And euery way were such as well might seeme
Worthy of note, respect, and much esteeme;
Yet hath my eye more cause of liking seene,
Where nought perhaps by some hath noted beene:
And I haue there found more content, by farre,
Where some of those perfections wanting are;
Yea so much, that their beauties were a blot
To them (me thought) because he had them not.
There some peculiar thing innated,
That beares an vncontrouled sway in this;
And nothing but itselfe knowes how to fit
The minde with that which best shall suit with it.
Then why should
Parents thrust themselues into
What they want warrant for, and power to doe?
How is it they are so forgetfull growne,
Of those conditions, that were once their owne?
Doe they so dote amidst their wits perfection,
To thinke that age and youth hath like affection?
(When they doe see 'mong those of equall yeares,
One hateth what another most endeares.)
Or doe they thinke their wisedomes can inuent
A thing to giue, that's greater than Content?
No, neither shall they wrap vs in such blindnesse,
To make vs thinke the spight they doe, is kindnesse.
For as I would aduise no childe to stray
From the least duty that he ought to pay:
So would I also haue him wisely know,
How much that duty is which he doth owe:
[Page] That knowing what doth vnto both belong,
He may doe them their right, himselfe no wrong.
For if my
Parents him I lothe should chuse,
Tis lawfull, yea my duty to refuse:
Else, how shall I leade so vpright a life,
As is enioyned to the
Man and
Wife?
Since that we see sometime there are repentings,
Eu'n where there are the most, and best contentings.
What, though that by our
Parents first we liue?
Is not life misery enough to giue;
Which at their births the children doth vndo,
Vnlesse they adde some other mischiefe to?
Cause they gaue being to this flesh of our,
Must we be therefore slaues vnto their power?
We nere desir'd it, for how could we tell,
Not being, but that not to be was well:
Nor know they whom they profit by it, seeing
Happy were some, if they had had no being.
Indeed, had they produc'd vs without sin,
Had all our duty to haue pleas'd them bin:
Of the next life, could they assure the state,
And both beget vs and regenerate;
There were no reason then we should withstand
To vndergoe their tyrannou'st command:
In hope that either for our hard endurance,
We should, at last, haue comfort in assurance:
Or, if in our endeauours we mis-sped,
At least feele nothing when we should be dead.
But what's the
Reason for't that we shall be
Inthral'd so much vnto Mortality?
Our soules on will of any
Men to tye
Vnto an euerlasting misery.
So farre, perhaps to, from the good of either,
We ruine them, our selues, and altogether.
Children owe much, I must confesse 'tis true,
And a great debt is to the
Parents due:
Yet if they haue not so much power to craue
But in their owne defence the liues they gaue:
How much lesse then, should they become so cruell
As to take from them the high-prized Iewell
Of liberty in choyce, whereon depends
The maine contentment that the heauen here lends?
Worth life, or wealth, nay far more worth then either
Or twenty thousand liues put all together.
Then howsoeuer some, seuerer bent,
May deeme of my opinion, or intent,
With that which followes thus conclude I doe:
(And I haue Reason for't, and Conscience to)
No Parent may his Childes iust sute deny
On his bare will, without a reason why:
Nor he so vs'd, be disobedient thought,
If vnapprou'd, he take the match he sought.
So then if that thy faith vncrazed be,
Thy friends dislike shall be no stop to me:
For, if their will be not of force to doe it,
They shall haue no cause else to driue them to it.
[Page] What is it they against vs can alleage?
Both young we are, and of the fittest age,
If thou dissembledst not, both loue; and both
To admit hinderance in our loues are loth.
'Tis prejudiciall vnto none that liues;
And Gods, and humane Law our warrant giues.
Nor are we much vnequall in degree,
Perhaps our
Fortunes somewhat different be.
But say that little meanes, which is, were not,
The want of wealth may not dissolue this knot.
For though some such preposterous courses wend,
Prescribing to themselues no other end,
Marr'age was not ordain'd t'enrich men by,
Vnlesse it were in their posterity.
And he that doth for other causes wed,
Nere knowes the true sweetes of a marriage bed:
Nor shall he by my will, for 'tis vnfit
He should haue blisse that neuer aym'd at it.
Though that bewitching gold the
Rabble blindes,
And is the obiect of all
Vulgar mindes:
Yet those, me-thinkes, that graced seeme to bee,
With so much good as doth appeare in thee,
Should scorne their better-taught desires to tye
To that, which fooles doe get their honour by.
I can like of the wealth (I must confesse)
Yet more I prize the man, though mony-lesse.
I am not of their humour yet, that can
For Title, or Estate, affect a
Man;
[Page] Or of my selfe, one body, deigne to make
With him I lothe, for his possessions sake.
Nor wish I euer to haue that minde bred
In me, that is in those; who, when they wed,
Thinke it enough, they doe attaine the grace
Of some new honour, to fare well, take place,
Weare costly cloathes, in others sights agree,
Or happy in opinion seeme to bee.
I weigh not this: for were I sure before
Of
Spencers wealth, or our rich
Suttons store;
Had I therewith a man, whom
Nature lent,
Person enough to giue the eye content:
If I no outward due, nor right did want,
Which the best Husbands in appearance grant:
Nay, though alone we had no priuate iarres
But merry liu'd from all domesticke cares;
Vnlesse I thought his
Nature so incline,
That it might also sympathize with mine,
(And yeeld such correspondence with my mind
[...]
Our soules might mutually contentment find,
By adding vnto these which went before,
Some certaine vnexpressed pleasures more,
Such as exceed the streight and curb'd dimensions
Of common mindes, and vulgar apprehensions)
I would not care for such a match, but tarry
In this estate I am, and neuer marry.
Such were the sweets I hop'd to haue possest,
When
Fortune should with thee haue made me bles
[...]
My heart could hardly thinke of that content,
To apprehend it without rauishment.
[Page] Each word of thine (me-thought) was to my eares
More pleasing then that musicke, which the
Spheares
(They say) doe make the gods, when in their chime,
Their motions
Diapason with the time,
In my conceit, the opening of thine eye.
Seem'd to giue light to euery obiect by,
And shed a kinde of life vnto my shew,
On euery thing that was within it view.
More ioy I'ue felt to haue thee but in place,
Then many doe in the most close embrace
Of their beloued'st friend, which well doth proue,
Not to thy body onely tends my loue:
But mounting a true height, growes so diuine,
It makes my soule to fall in loue with thine.
And sure now whatsoe're thy body doe,
Thy soule loues mine, and oft they visit too.
For late I dream'd they went I know not whither,
Vnlesse to
Heauen, and there play'd together;
And to this day I nere could know or see,
'Twixt them or vs the least
Antipathy,
Then what should make thee keepe thy person hence,
Or leaue to loue, or hold it in suspence?
If to offend thee I vnawares was driuen,
Is't such a fault as may not be forgiuen?
Or if by frownes of
Fate, I haue beene checkt,
So that I seeme not worth thy first respect,
Shall I be therefore blamed and vpbraided,
With what could not be holpen, or auoyded?
Tis not my fault: yet cause my
Fortunes doe,
Wilt thou be so vnkinde to wrong me too?
[Page] Not vnto
Thine, but thee I set my heart,
So nought can wipe my loue out while thou art:
Though thou wert poorer both of house and meat,
Then he that knowes not where to sleepe or eat:
Though thou wert sunke into obscurity.
Become an abiect in the worlds proud eye,
Though by peruersenesse of thy
Fortune crost,
Thou wert deformed or some limbe had'st lost,
That loue which
Admiration first begot,
Pitty would strengthen, that it failed not:
Yea, I should loue thee still, and without blame,
As long as thou couldst keepe thy minde the same;
Which is of
Vertues so compact (I take it)
No mortall change shall haue the power to shake it.
This may, and will (I know) seeme strange to those
That cannot the
Abyss of loue disclose,
Nor must they thinke, whom but the out-side moues
Euer to apprehend such noble
Loues;
Or more coniecture their vnsounded measure,
Then can we mortals of immortall pleasure.
Then let not those dull vnconceiuing braines,
Who shall hereafter come to reade these straines,
Suppose that no loues fire can be so great,
Because it giues not their cold Clime such heate;
Or thinke m'inuention could haue reached here
Vnto such thoughts, vnlesse such loue there were:
For then they shall but shew their knowledge weake,
And iniure me, that feele of what I speake.
But now my lines grow tedious, like my wrong,
And as I thought that, thou think'st this too long.
[Page] Or some may deeme, I thrust my selfe into
More then beseemeth modesty to do.
But of the difference I am not vnwitting,
Betwixt a peeuish coynesse, and things fitting:
Nothing respect I, who pries ore my doing:
For here's no vaine allurements, nor sond wooing,
To traine some wanton stranger to my lure;
But with a thought that's honest, chaste, and pure,
I make my cause vnto thy conscience knowne,
Suing for that which is by right my owne.
In which complaint, if thou doe hap to finde
Any such word, as seemes to be vnkind:
Mistake me not, it but from
Passion sprung,
And not from an intent to doe thee wrong.
Or if among these doubts my sad thoughts breed,
Some (peraduenture) may be more then need
They are to let thee know, might we dispute,
Theres no obiections but I could refute;
And spight of
Enuy such defences make,
Thou shouldst embrace that loue thou dost forsake.
Then do not (oh forgetfull man) now deeme,
That 'tis ought lesse then I haue made it seeme.
Or that I am vnto this
Passion mou'd,
Because I cannot else-where be belou'd:
Or that it is thy state, whose greatnesse knowne,
Makes me become a suter for my owne:
Suppose not so; for know this day there be
Some that wooe hard for what I offer thee:
And I haue euer yet contented bin
With that estate I first was placed in.
[Page] Banish those thoughts, and turne thee to my heart;
Come once againe, and be what once thou wert.
Reuiue me by those wonted ioyes repairing,
That am nigh dead with sorrowes and despairing:
So shall the memory of this annoy,
But adde more sweetnesse to my future ioy;
Yea, make me thinke thou meantst not to deny me,
But onely wert estranged thus, to try me.
And lastly, for that loues sake thou once bar'st me,
By that right hand thou gau'st, that oath thouswar'st me,
By all the
Passions, and (if any be)
For her deare sake that makes thee iniure me;
I here coniure thee; no intreat and sue,
That if these lines doe ouer-reach thy view,
Thou wouldst afford me so much fauour for them,
As to accept, or at least not abhorre them.
So though thou wholly cloake not thy disdaine,
I shall haue somewhat the lesse cause to plaine:
Or if thou needs must scoffe at this, or me,
Do't by thy selfe, that none may witnesse be.
Not that I feare 'twill bring me any blame,
Onely I am loth the world should know my shame.
For all that shall this plaint with reason view,
Will iudge me faithfull, and thee most vntrue.
But if
Obliuion, that thy loue bereft,
Hath not so much good nature in thee left,
But that thou must, as most of you men doe,
When you haue conquer'd, tyrannize it too:
Know this before, that it is praise to no man
To wrong so fraile a
Creature as a woman.
[Page] And to insult or'e one, so much made thine,
Will more be thy disparagement then mine.
But oh (I pray that it portend no harmes)
A chearing heate my chilled senses warmes:
Iust now I flashing feele into my brest,
A sudden comfort, not to be exprest;
Which to my thinking, doth againe begin
To warne my heart, to let some hope come in;
It tels me 'tis impossible that thou
Shouldst liue not to be mine, it whispers how
My former feares and doubts haue, beene in vaine,
And that thou mean'st yet to returne againe.
It saies thy absence from some cause did grow,
Which, or I should not, or I could not know.
It tels me now, that all those proofes, whereby
I seem'd assur'd of thy disloyalty,
May be but treacherous plots of some base foes,
That in thy absence sought our ouerthrowes.
Which if it proue; as yet me thinkes it may,
Oh, what a burden shall I cast away?
What cares shall I say by? and to what height
Towre in my new ascension to delight?
Sure er'e the full of it I come to try,
I shall eu'n surfet in my ioy and die.
But such a losse might well be call'd a thriuing
Since more is got by dying so, then liuing.
Come kill me then, my deare, if thou thinke fit,
With that which neuer killed woman yet:
Or write to me before, so shalt thou giue
Content more moderate that I may liue:
[Page] And when I see my staffe of trust vnbroken,
I will vnspeake againe what is mis-spoken.
What I haue written in dispraise of
Men,
I will recant, and praife as much agen;
In recompence Ile adde vnto their Stories,
Encomiasticke lines to ymp their glories.
And for those wrongs my loue to thee hath done,
Both I and it vnto thy
Pitty runne:
In whom, if the least guilt thou finde to be,
For euer let thine armes imprison me.
Meane while I'le try if misery will spare
Me so much respite, to take truce with care.
And patiently await the doubtfull doome,
Which I expect from thee should shortly come
Much longing that I one way may be sped,
And not still linger 'twixt aliue and dead.
For I can neither liue yet as I should,
Because I least enioy of that I would;
Nor quiet die, because (indeed) I first
Would see some better daies, or know the worst.
Then hasten
Deare, if to my end it be,
It shall be welcome, cause it comes from thee.
If to renew my
Comfort ought be sent,
Let me not loose a minute of
Content.
The precious
Time is short, and will away,
Let vs enioy each other while we may.
Cares thriue,
Age creepeth on,
Men are but shades,
Ioyes lessen,
Youth decaies, and
Beauty fades;
New turnes come on, the old returneth neuer,
If we let our goe past, 'tis past for euer.
FINIS.