The last words and dispositions of Hille­tje, the daughter of our Brother Hans Simons.

GOd hath been pleased to give us a new argument of his mercy & grace over this his flock, by taking a­way, in his unspeakable love, a lamb from the midst of the same to him­self. It was the daughter of our bro­ther Hans Simons our carpenter, whom God was pleased to visite with a pining sickness, and great pains, especially at her latter end. But withall he did give her such an ami­able patience, perfect resignation of her self to his will, and tender & inward desire to go to him & to die, [Page 36]that she might be able in heaven fully to glorify him, that we have cause to praise him with all our heart for all what he hath done about this good child to the end. Some time before she came to keep her bed, reading in the Scripture, she ligh­ted on the History of Hagar & her child, on [...] whom the Lord had com­passion in the wilderness, whereas otherwise it must have perished with thirst; and the person with whom she did work, asking her what she had read, and what therein had touched her heart, she answered thereupon sensibly: I doe admire to see that God doth hearken to the voice & weeping of a child, and hath compassion thereon. Being asked some time be­fore her death, whether she did be­leeve that God by this sickness would take her to himself, she answered; Yes I beleeve he will; however I hope it of his goodnesse. And being yet asked wherefore she was so desirous there­of, she said: ‘To be freed from sin. She added to it, "All that I desire of God, is that he may be pleased [Page 37]throughly to purge me, I hope God in his mercy will come unto me, and take me to himself, I am so glad that I may suffer, to go to God! O how great a good is that! I feel, said she, that God is with me, and causeth me to feel his peace: and I pray to him that he may be with me to the end, al­though I am very much unworthy of it.’ One time among the rest having desired to speak unto me, she said that she had felt God would have her to tell me, ‘That she was very sorry, because she had been so little penitent for her sins; but that she did feel, she must re­main to the end in the Spirit of repentance, for to go in that state to God. I likewise beleeve, said she, that God in his mercy will forgive me my sins for JESUS CHRIST his Sons sake, whose Grace I doe need so much. Pray to God, saith she at another time to those that were round about her, that even to the end I may keep my self before him, in the Spirit [Page 38]of repentance. Before this, my heart came with much a doe to prayer, but now at present it goeth as of it self to the Lord & without the least labor.’ Being as­ked, if God should leave it to her choice, whether she would live or die, what she would rather choose, she answered with much sensibleness: ‘I doe very much wish to go to God; I am afraid of this life, and I love death rather, because I hope that God by the means thereof will ful­ly unite me with himself.’ When she was in very great anguish, and she was told, that likely the Lord would speedily come, then she cryed out, from the bottom of her heart, O were I so happy! Being told of JESUS CHRIST, how that he was the only Redeemer of our souls, and that there was no other Name given under heaven, through which we could be saved: then she answered: O I feel it so, these words doe lively move me. O how beautifull is he! How good is the Lord JESUS, said she with much tenderness. Be­ing [Page 39]asked whether she could thus leave her Father, she answered affectio­nately, O yes; giving proofe that she did rejoice very much, that she might go to an other & a better Fa­ther, then he whom God had given her here, although in his love. Be­ing further-more asked, what her mind was when she was in such an­guish, and whether she was not sor­ry that she must suffer so much: ‘O no, said she, when such anguish­ments come, then I think by my self, Presently, presently it will be ended, and I shall go to the Lord; and the joy which I feel for this, doth so strengthen me, that me thinks that it doth yet keep me here.’ I doe not fear death, said she with a merry countenance, ‘for I hope that afterwards I shall not sin any more against the Lord. But I must yet suffer more; I have not deserved to die such a soft death.’ But yet she died a little while after, after that she had divers times cryed out: God wil be my Redeemer: Jesus is my Saviour. And so she died in [Page 40]his arms dying the death of the Righ­teous, to whom God doth give Grace, and whom he receiveth into his Glory. This is the first child, which being come to knowledge, God took from the midst of us; and he was pleased to give us comfort there of in his love, shewing how he had blessed that care which we have had for her soul, of which she like­wise was very sensible, giving thanks with much love to those who had more particularly instructed her: even as also she hath testified to her Friends, when she spoke with them or wrote to them.

The last words and dispositions of heart of our most worthy Sister Dulignon, deceased in the Lord at Wiewert in Friesland the 28. December 1680.

GOd having given this soul from her childhood some feelings & taste of his Spirit, this in some measu­re kept her back from seeking the va­nitys & pleasures of this world, and did give her some inclination to that which she did not yet know. Hee [Page 41]eldest Sister Vincentia vander Haar being the first of the three sisters, who found her self pressed to seek the Lord, in denying the world; she, who was the second, did feel some­thing in her heart, which did secretly draw her off from what she saw, & did not suffer her to be contented with that, wherewith the common sort of those who are called pious (with whom all three of them began to converse) did in their judgement to easily content themselves. She came purposely in Zealand with her eldest sister, to hear Master de [...]abadie there: and God afterwards [...]n his providence ordering it, that [...]hey did heare us oftentimes in the Hague, so he gave them at the first [...]uch an inclination & compliance with what he caused them to hear & [...]ee, that they were of the first, whom in that place did perceive that [...]ESUS CHRIST must be follo­wed wholly in an other & more live­ [...]y & earnest manner.

Particularly our worthy & most [...]appy Sister, to whom God had [Page 42]given a speciall grace of simplicity & holy innocency, having felt the blessing of God upon that which he caused her to hear to the good of her soul, & Gods providence keeping us then at Amsterdam, after that he had drawn us out of Zealand, she felt a great inclination to come thither; and having obtained leave to come from her Mother, she took part with that good & grace which God did there shew to us. The Lord then came very much to her, and caused himself to be felt very sensibly in her heart. With that impression of grace which she had there recei­ved, she returned again for a time to the Hague, where the Lord JE­SUS caused himself to be felt very inwardly present with her soul, and made himself known to her after an unusuall manner: which did en­flame her with new love towards him, and gave her such an affection to his amiable & holy person, that she afterwards did never loose the same.

The Lord afterwards by his speci­all providence having brought us t [...] [Page 43]Herfort in Westphalia, she came there with some others, of whom God was pleased to compose our assembly; and he hath given her generally that grace, all the time that he hath left her amongst us, to be there and live as a true member of this body of JESUS CHRIST, which he had in a speci­all manner purchased & sanctified to himself. Her grace did appear sometimes more & sometimes lesse, but we have allwayes perceived in her a ground of innocency, simpli­city & purity, which was for great comfort, and which appearing mo­re from time to time, did in a speciall manner enlarge & shew it self in the last time & years of her life.

For the most part of the time that we were in Friesland, she was visi­ted with a great & long continuing weakness; but she bare the same with a wonderfull strength & cou­rage of minde, and hath given us great matter of thanking God for the assistance & support of his Spirit & grace.

An ague joyning with her ordina­ry weakness, at seven monthes end she was delivered of her last child; God in a speciall manner strengthe­ning her by his Spirit, and the love of his will and wayes concerning her. Afterwards by the continuation of her fits of the ague she did grow much weaker, although sometimes it see­med as if she did something recover. During all this time she did in a spe­ciall manner comfort and edify us. And I can say, that as oftentimes as I talked with her, which was fre­quently, I never went away from her without thanking God, for the enlargement and encrease of his grace in her, having thought oftentimes, after that I had divers times presented her before the Lord in prayer, that what the Lord did in her soul, was a great argument that he caused her to draw near to eternity, and that likely he would not tarry long before he was to take her into his glory, for as much as he did set forth the work of his grace in her in such a visible and unusuall manner.

Nine dayes before her death, find­ing her self to be a little better, she took courage to write to her worthy husband my brother Dulignon at the Hague, desiring to give him that comfort, and to answere that sweet and tender love, which he did shew to her by his letters, which she did alwayes receive with deep humility. These are some of the words of her letter: ‘Your great love maketh me to be wholly ashamed. I who am un­worthy to be compared with you, what have I suffered, or what doe I suffer in comparison of you? If I did not committ you and your sufferings to the Lord, my heart would be wounded through with smart: but God is specially good to me therein, that he taketh away from me all encombrances for what matter soever it be. The which I perceive to be as a gift of his good hand, unto which I have offered, and yet doe offer my self up, both for time and for eterni­ty, in life and death. You may hold your self assured, that I doe [Page 46]not desire the help and comfort of my sisters, although their pre­sence would be acceptable to me, for the least help which they can shew to you, is more to me then all my comfort. Though you are a far of, yet methinks some­times that my arms reach you, but it is in faith. The Lord grant that it may be once in deed, if it be his good will.’

The thursday before her happy decease, she said to that sister who did help her to rise: ‘I hope this will be the last time, that I shall have need to have my bed to be made: to morrow is my ague day, ô if the Lord would send me such a good ague, as that it might take me away, and might make me to go to him, how joyfull would it be to me, and how happy would I be!’ Being afterwards to take some­thing, she said as with greef, ‘what must I yet feed this body, which I would so willingly put of?’ A cer­tain sister coming to visit her, she said: ‘Thus we shall go to the Lord [Page 47]the one before & the other after. Wait with patience for deliveran­ce from him. There is but little time between both. The one a little sooner, and the other a little later, but thus we shall all go un­to him.’

On fryday the ague came sooner & stronger then it did before. In she evening she had a faint fit, whilest they did make her head-pil­ [...]ows. But she came again to her­ [...]elf, taking a little wine, and said withall with a joyfull countenance: [...] I thought that the happy minute [...] was come, I knew not whether I [...] would tell it you. Wherefore? [...]sked that sister: ‘Because I was a­fraid, said she, that you would give me something to keep me here.’

Having spoken with her that day [...]wo or three times, I went to see her [...]gain, and found her in that hope [...]at God would soon come to her. [...]t night about three a clock, that [...]fter which commonly helped her, [...]eing with her with one more be­ [...]des, and telling her, because she [Page 48]found her so weak: Well my sister, the Lord is coming: so she looked upon her with a joyfull countenance and said, Is it true? Doe you see me to be much changed? And withall she loo­ked upon her hands & fingers, th [...] seemed to her allready to be grow [...] blue: which did increase her hope, that her dissolution did draw near, and that she should soon be with the Lord, to remain for ever with him, ‘I love you all heartily, said she to all those that stood round about her, and I can say, that since the time that I have known God, I have in truth not loved the world, no [...] those that did love the world, whatsoever they were; and that my heart did not go forth, but unto those that feared & served God▪ The world & flesh & blood have been nothing to me, in compari­son of Gods children.’

When they did shew to her he [...] little child, she said: ‘My child, my life is gone over into you. God hath placed you in my steed, hope that you will be better then [Page 49]The Lord JESUS blesse you.’ And the day after speaking to her other child Benjamin, she said, ‘My child I go to the Lord, love him & fear him. He hath caused you to be born among his children, you will not have so many occa­sions, as I have had to displease him. I have not educated you for my self, but for the Lord, that you may better serve him then I. I aimed at nothing else but that, and all that I wish for you is, that you may live for God & for his glory.’

On that Saturday, which was the day of her happy dissolution, she had great anguish of heart, which made her at the first to complain: for otherwise all the time of her sick­ness, and during her manifold pains & fits of the ague, the least com­plaint was not heard at all, suffe­ring with such patience & quietness of mind, which sufficiently mani­fested the presence of God in her soul, and her inward union & complacency with him.

The same day in the morning she said to us: God makes me for an exam­ple of his mercy, how unprofitable a ser­vant I have been in his house. This she said with speciall relation to this that she had been sickly for diven years, and not been able to commu­nicate, to the help & service of the other children of the Lord, that which her love did put in her, and made her wish to be able to doe. Hereunto she added: ‘What cause then have you all, to hope on his mercy! Though I am, said she, unworthy of that grace, to keep my self at the feet of JESUS, yet he gives me a full witness that I am his, and that he will never cast me away.’

She said, ‘Notwithstanding my unfaithfullness, and though I have not lived for his glory, as I ought to have done, yet he is so good to me now. He sealeth unto me the pardon of my sins, and he will now at present take me to himself. O how good is he! How mercifull & gracious is he!’

Turning her self to me, she did entreat me, that I would write to my worthy Brother Dulignon, ‘That she did go with so great joy to the Lord: This, said she, will comfort him in the state wherein the Lord keepeth him.’ She ad­ [...]ed more-over: ‘I pray, doe not write unto him, when God shall have taken me to himself, that I am dead, but that I live. For I shall live more then ever be­fore, living to the Lord, who is our life.’ She asked me then, whether her soul should likewise en­ [...]oy that good, as to see the glori­ [...]ied body of the Lord JESUS, be­ [...]ore she should behold it with the [...]yes of her body after the resurrecti­on? And it being told her, yes, [...]ou shall, as well as the Angels, which have no bodys; so was she hereupon wholly taken up with [...]oly joy, and added thereunto: ‘O how happy a thing will it be, that we shall be able to draw near to his holy person!’

And for as much as she suffered much [Page 52]by reason of the anguish of her heart they gave to her a little Besor for her ease, but she would hardly take it, saying: That will serve for an other one, as for me I go to God, and whether it be with more or less anguish, is it not all one? That doth not deserve the Besor.

She had said before to some one: Let none tell the child, that his mother is dead, but that she is a life in God, that she is with the Lord Jesus in heaven. I know not, said she, this word Death seems to be so strange in this case, me thinks ti doth not expresse the thing very well: for to go to the Lord, is indeed not to die. No, I shall not be dead.

She likewise h at said to that person, ‘Tell my sisters Vincentia & Mary, when you shall see them, that I pray to God with all my heart, that he be pleased to blesse them, and though they have not been here, that there hath been no­thing wanting to me; the love of God & of his children having plen­tifully provided in all things.’

She said to us from time to time, Doe you think that the Lord will speedily [Page 53]come? And I having answered her, that yet that very day she was to go to God, she cryed out for joy, O what good & glad message doe you bring me! And telling her furthermore, that there would be no night for her any more, she protested that this was her only wish, and that she desired no more.

And afterwards turning her self a­bout to us, she said: I can say that I wish to all of you with all my heart the same good, and that you were all in the same state as I be. And answering her that such wishes are not usually made, but that indeed it was the greatest which she could wish to us, because there was no greater good then that good whereunto God did call her, then she said: ‘I have of­tentimes thought that if we should take a voyage to sea, and the Lord should then by shipwrack take us all to himself, that it would be a great comfort that we might thus all go together to him.’

She said, One may be very well assu­red, that death hath nothing terrible for [Page 54]the children of God.

And furthermore she said, ‘From my youth God hath made himself sensible to my soul, though I did not then know him, and my heart was yet blind: But thereby he did hinder me from being able to take my delight in the world & what is in the world: and as soon as I had found the pure Spirit of the Lord in his Servants, I said by my self: This is it which thou hast sought for, and by this thou must keep thy self.’

‘I can wel say it (went she forth with a feeling which was very lively & pure) for God hath done it, and it is not but for his glory: that when the Lord JESUS made him self known to my soul, the world from that time forth did vanish away from my eyes, and since it hath re­mained alwayes vanished. And I could not comprehend, how that souls, which have felt JESUS, could afterwards love any thing else but JESUS.’

About noon one of our sisters ask­ing [Page 55]her, whether she would not make use of some broth of veal, or something else, so she answered with joy of heart, ‘That I had told her that there would be no more night for her, and that she could very well subsist so long without using any thing;’ adding there­unto, ‘that when she had taken any thing, thereby her anguish was more encreased.’

About the same time, when they had shut her courtains, these words were heard to come out of her bosom: O God, thou canst doe all things; might it please thee to shorten the time! having no other desire but to be hastily with the Lord.

Her anguishes were oftentimes ve­ry great, so that they did hinder her for some time to speak & to say any thing: but afterwards she came out of them again with new strength and vigour, and with a renewing of her joy, because she looked upon that continuall falling again into those fits of anguish, as so many steps which she made towards the Lord [Page 56]JESUS her Saviour, the beloved of her heart & the eternall Bridegroom of her soul.

In the afternoon being come again to see her, and asking her how she found herself: I waite, said she, for the Lord: blessed is that servant, which waiteth for his Lord, he will not be surpri­sed. At another time being in great anguish, she said to me: The Lord, my worthy Brother, will have us to wait upon him, is it not true? One must wait till his minute be come, it is the greatest we can expect.

O how ready is the Lord JESUS, said she to some sisters who came to see her, ‘to receive sinners, which are sorry, that they have noth been sufficiently for him, when they doe take their refuge to his divine merits, and doe trust their soules into his hands.’ And speaking to some of our brethren, she said, ‘Be faithfull to the Lord JESUS, my brethren; walk before his face, take but away what may hinder him from having communion with your soules, and you will find that [Page 57]he is wholy ready to cause himslf to be felt on your heart. To be able to say unto the Lord, my God, I desire none but thee in heaven & on earth, what wilt thou have me to doe, that gives a great strength, and maketh men to walk with heads lifted up. I have found that many times by his Grace.’

When I said unto her, is it not a great good to have served such a good Master? she answered me: One doth not repent, but only that one hath not sufficiently served him.

Benjamin again coming before her bed, she said to him: ‘My child, I can say nothing else to you, but what I have allready said. Fear the Lord alwayes, and be very obe­dient to those that instruct you, then you will come to live for ever with your Mother in heaven.’

She said to a certaine sister, who for tenderness of heart did weep see­ing her: ‘One must not weep, one must rejoyce, and praise the Lord. Doe not you see, how much cause [Page 58]he gives thereunto?’ and speaking to that sister who takes care for the little children, she said, ‘God blesse you, my worthy sister, with the little ones, take care of them, and that according to the Lord.’

I having told her at noon, Well my worthy Sister, now is the day half past, she answered, Are you then yet of the same opinion, my worthy Brother? Doe you beleeve yet that even this day I shall go to my Redeemer and my God? And at evening going to supper, I asked her, because she seemed to have gotten a little strength again, whether she was not willing to take some­thing? And she answered with sad­ness: ‘Must I yet eat, what sad tidings! I made in my self an other reckoning: yet if God please I will try it.’ And our Brother who hath the care of the sick, having told her before that she had gotten a little more strength, she gave him this answer: Doe you likewise bring had ti­dings: you have told me that I was so near to my end. She had before that thanked him, and that Sister that [Page 59]helps him, with much tenderness for their love, and for so many argu­ments as she had received thereof, especially in her sickness.

After meal coming to see her again, and finding her in greater anguish, she said, as she had done at other times, that her hope did encrease. And speaking of my worthy Brother her husband, whose state had ap­peared as near to eternity as was that of hers, she said, That she expected to see him in heaven, and never to be sepa­rated from him again.

After that we had again presen­ted her before the Lord as a sacrifice, according to the feeling which he gave me, that it might please him to hear the great & ardent affection of his child and faithfull handmaid, who alone went out to him, she did yet bosom out these words: I would say with my mother, as she said at the end of her life, I can no more. And turning herself towards me, she said: I have never yet been in such an anguish, my wor­thy brother. To which I answered that she did put me in mind of our wor­thy [Page 60]thy Sister Huyghens, who likewise told me the same a little before her end, but that God took her to him­self half an hour after. This did cause her such joy, that her counte­nance thereby was changed. A little after she yeelded up her spirit, the joy remaining imprinted in her face & eyes, which I did shut unto her, praising God for that unspea­kable happiness, unto which he had received this soul, who was so beloved & dear to CHRIST & his children.

I can say to the glory of God, that I doe not beleeve, that one can easily i­magine in any a greater, a more per­fect, and a more permanent longing for death, then what we have seen in her; a fuller assurance of going to eternal happiness, a more perfect un­setlement from all what she left in the world; more forgetfulness and holy contempt of her self; and more innocent simplicity in the outgoings of her heart to God & to JESUS her Lord & Saviour, who having pre­vented & accompanied her with his [Page 61]Grace, was pleased to give her to partake of his eternall Glory, after [...]he had lived here on earth the time of 31 years.

The last words and dispositions of our most happy sister Magdalene Henry, which decensed in the Lord February 1. in the year 1681. with some of the most remarkable circumstances of her life.

SHe was born at Metz of parents of the Romish Religion. Her father, which was a Chirurgent, and a man well to passe, dying when she was but three years old, [...]eft her in the hands of her mother, which was very worldly, and who desiring to bring her up according to the world, did oftentimes beat her [...]n her youth, because she would [...]ear no locks & ruffles. Even from [...]hat time she was against all those va­ [...]itys, and felt an aversness from [...]he pride of her mother, who did [...]specially exceed therein. God at [...]hat time drawing her heart lively. [Page 62]unto him, gave unto her a generall desire, that she might be able to know him, and to serve him in truth. Oftentimes when she went to the masse & vesper, and there prayed to God, she felt in her heart, that that manner of worshipping God was not acceptable unto him: and having once heard some body speaking of the holy Scriptures, which she might not read, she felt a great & inward desire, to seek out such people which might be able to teach her, in what manner God would be worshipped.

Even from that time she resolved, after that she had pondered all things well, and was a long while in her heart urged thereunto, to betake her self upon her journey, without knowing where to go; hoping that God would guide her, and let her find that which she felt was her duty to seek. Then she spoke with a mes­senger, which went a foot from Metz to Frankfort, being then 19. years & a half old, desiring him that he would take her with him, though [Page 63]she knew no body there, and like­wise did not at all understand the German tongue. The messenger not being willing to take her with him, except her mother would give con­sent thereunto, so her mother con­sented, being weary of the continu­all opposition of her daughter against her worldly mindedness. Her Guar­dian, which was not unwilling to keep her goods in his hands, was likewise well contented that she should go where it pleased her. So that the messenger took upon him to take her with him, God fitting all things thereunto according to her wish. She thought indeed at first, to get into her hands the goods which by her father did belong unto her, and could likewise have done it, ac­cording to the laws of the country, if she had stayed there but 6 monthes longer, that is till the age of twenty years: but this was to her impos­sible, for when she did pray most unto the Lord, that he would make his will known to her concerning this point, so she felt her self to be [Page 64]constrained very much to depart, being greatly afraid that she might happen to die in these 6 monthes; without yet knowing what the Lord required of her soul, that she would rather leave all there, and follow the inclination of her heart, which she did perceive was from God. Which likewise she did, and that without ever lookink back after what she had left in the hands of her Friends, and whereof she hath not enjoyed the least thing.

Thus she went away from Metz towards Francfort with this messen­ger, and likewise another man and his wife, who also went to that place. In the way she found an un­speakable joy, because that she saw herself to be out of Metz, and in freedom to be able to seek the Lord, untill she had found him. The way did not seem to her to be long, and god preserved her in a speciall man­ner in the same. Being come to Francfort, she was recommended to the Countesse of Hanau, which ha­ving understood that she sought to be [Page 65]instructed in the reformed Religion, did direct her to a very good Lady of Cassel, wife of the Marshall Hax­hausen, which did receive her with a heart so full of love, that she could not have expected or desired more, though she had been her own mother. God had some short time before po­werfully touched and changed the heart of that young Lady, so that she went earnestly about to change the train of her worldly life, which she had led. She changed her house as into a church, in which she caused God to be served with all her power, and did rejoyce that she could like­wise receive there & help this stran­ger, who did earnestly seek God. And seeing that Magdalene, though [...]he did seek to be instructed in the [...]ruth, yet would not make confessi­on of the reformed Religion, except [...]he was fully convinced in her con­science, that God did require such from her, she did deal with our sister with great tenderness & speciall cir­ [...]umspection: not willing that she [...]hould be disturbed in or urged to [Page 66]any thing, yet giving her all occasi­on that she might be instructed. Wherein our sister did see the tender & fatherly providence of God to­wards her. The conversation & ac­quaintance of this Lady, and espe­cially her decease, which was very edifying, did very much confirme her in that hope which she had, to find the truth in the reformed Reli­gion. But afterwards she was kept back for some time to receive the same, by reason of the bad example of those with whom she did fre­quently converse, and especially by that of a Candidate in Divinity, which concerned him self with the instruction of others in the house, but was himself so profane, as to make a scoff & laughing-stock of the words of the holy Scripture; and yet be­sides by the evill example of the French Minister of Cassell, which being invited to dinner to the place where she dwelt, that he might have opportunity to speak with her, du­ring dinner did nothing else but speak of meat & drink, of good wine, [Page 67]and meat well prepared, & that after a very fleshly & offensive manner.

Now when she was in great straight, to know what she should doe, praying to God night and day, and turning, as it was, into a skel­leton by sorrow, and with a great desire which did even consume her away, to know the right way which leadeth to God: So one day when she kept her self in prayer before Him, she got this impression, that she must not be taken up with those wic­ked ones which professe the reformed Religion, but that the Religion in it self, or the truth which therein was professed, in opposition to the papa­cy, was truly according to Gods heart. And for as much as she was oftentimes disquieted, thinking whether she had not done amis in leaving her mo­ther, and the fifth commandement coming often in her mind; then was her heart touched lively by the Lord, when she was before him in prayer, and it was as if this word was said to her by JESUS CHRIST, Will you for my sake not deny your mother? Which [Page 68]at the first was very greevous for her to doe, but yet from that time it be­came easy to her by the strength of him who had applyed to her that word and command. All this made her to resolve to give her self over to all whatsoever the Lord should re­quire of her; and after she had prayed to him with many teras, that he would not suffer her, to take upon her the profession of the protestant doctrine, for any respect of men which should gladly see it, and that he would hinder that no such thing might be mixed therewith, so she found her self fully resolved thereun­to, and she made her confession be­fore a German minister, whose lan­guage she had then learned, and whom she hought to fear God more then others. So God brought her to the knowledge of the truth & of the sound doctrine. But her heart seek­ing a life which in some measure might agree therewith, and having alwayes wished to be with people that did serve God in truth, she was inclined to go for Holland, to see [Page 69]if God would fullfill her desire. But coming there, she was very sad to find the contrary in the first house, where however she stayed three years, and there the Mistris of the house requiring that she should say something contrary to the truth, she answered with great affection, that she would rather die the most con­temptible death, then to wound her conscience thereby. Yet neverthe­less the little help she had, & the evill example she saw there were partly the cause that her soul went by degrees far off from the Lord, and that she found her self in a very sad condition. Thus having in this & other occasion displeased her Mis­tris, she went away from her, and was recommended to Madam of Sommelsdyck to educate a son of her daughter Madam of Ossenbergh, in which she did performe her duty with love, and instructing him she did withall herself encrease in know­ledge. Afterwards she came in ser­vice with the da [...]ghter of her Lady, and did in the end remain with Mis­tris [Page 70]of Sommelsdyck our Sister, whose heart at that time the Lord had touched, with three others of her sisters, and who gave her per­fect means to serve God, when from time to time the Lord made us to come in the Hague, and also stay theresome time. In the year 1670 she went with her Mistris to Ryn­bergh, and I afterwards by Gods Providence going into Germany, & stopping a few dayes at the afore mentioned place with Madam of Ossenbergh, she was there freed from that sad state & condition, in which her soul had been for divers years, and wherein she had suffered very much within, and likewise had sinned very much in her spirit a­gainst the Lord: which was to her as painfull as death. That which she had heard about the state of Job, gave her light & strength, and did revive her hope again, which she in her temptation & conflicts had lost very much. And likewise the Lord JESUS made himself one time very sensible to her heart, and gave her a [Page 71]great impression of the mystery of his crosse, which remained lively with her for a long time.

God having brought us at Herfort, she came likewise there, and because she did know by long experience, that with all those affections which God had given her, she was but little dead to her self, she said in the way, that she found her self as if she was carried to the slaughter. And in that place likewise she was much beset by Gods truth & his Spirit, untill she was through his grace & love con­quered quite after an other manner unto him. The Lord did commu­nicate himself to her very sensibly from time to time, and in a speciall manner at Sonderen near Herfort. But because her self-love did very much mix it self with that grace which she did receive, God hath now & then exercised her by inward [...]ryalls, and by divers temptations & desertions, wherein she hath been to suffer, and constrained of­ [...]en times to loose her self in the hands of God, whether it was at Altena, [Page 72]or here in Friesland. But the Lord hath been indeed good to her in all her way, and after that he had made her to submit unto him, she was in her last sickness (which did continue long, and having begun with a third day ague, was changed into a dayly ague, and at the last into a dropsy) a great comfort to us, by reason of that soft, humble, and patient dis­position, whereby she was given over to God, and wherein he gran­ted her to bear the same alwayes, and that through the speciall enlarge­ment of his grace upon her.

When this sickness began to take its course, she felt lively in her heart, that God did call her to suffering and to much suffering; but she said withall, as she had done at more times, that God did give her a love to suffering, and that she for the love of Jesus her Saviour did bertily embrace that part of his crosse which it should please him to give her. And all that time that she hath kept her bed, she hath made it evident, that this love was inward & true, and that she did a fresh receive this grace from [Page 73]the Lord, not only in sense, but in truth. She likewise felt what God did in her was such, that she could not doubt but if he should res­tore her again, she would live and be wholly after an other manner for him, then till that time she had done. And in the beginning her ague fits coming first against night she gave thanks to God that he granted her to be able to doe something at day time, to serve him and his Children.

A certain morning, when the night before she had been very bad, [...] being come to visit her, and desi­ring her to put me in mind again of [...]he most speciall circumstances of [...]er former life, which she did with much presence of spirit, and a very [...]ively feeling of that grace which God had bestowed upon her; giving me there by means to note concer­ning her former conversation, what [...]hus far I have done.

God in this sickness hath touched [...]er heart very lively about her for­ [...]er sins, but for as much as he hum­bled her before him for her corrup­tions, [Page 74]and caused her in uprightness, to take her refuge to his grace, and to the blood of Jesus Christ her Saviour: so we saw the same so evidently to vanish away, that we could not but be sensibly moved thereby. We can say that right the contrary to what was most naturall and proper to her, did appear always in her, and that the grace of Jesus Christ did cause it self to be well seenand felt in her in this last and happy time, in which he was pleased to take her to himself.

She said, I many times think when I lie in my hot fit, and am so thirsty, with­out daring however to drink much, O, when I shall come to the Lord, how shall I drink, O how shall I drink, how shall I quench my thirst!

Once coming to visit her, she de­sired very sensibly that I should par­don her, and likewise my worthy Brother, for all the pains which she had given to us in the guidance of he [...] soul. She did likewise entreat with all her heart all those that were in th [...] house of the Lord, that they would [Page 75]pardon her the faults which from time to time she had committed a­gainst them, and those defects which [...]n such occasions might have ap­peared; earnestly entreating me that [...] should tell them of it in her name.

One of our sisters afterwards com­ [...]ng to her, she said to her: Although [...]t present I be withered and dry, and [...]ave but little feeling, yet however I [...]e feel that it would greeve me if I was yet [...] stay longer in this life. I have always [...]een very desirous after the comforts and seelings of God, but now I leave my self to [...]e Lord, and am fully contented to die in [...]hat state of barrennes. My Lord Jesus, said she furthermore, is come to seek [...]is lost sheep, and be giveth me hope that he will bring me into his eternall Sheepfold.

Which being confirmed to her by his sister, she lifted up her eyes to [...]eaven, and said with much sense [...]nd tears: Is is possible my Lord that [...]ou wilt doe for me that great good, for [...]e whoam such a great sinner!

God gave her after that a wonder­full quietness of heart, so that she [...]aid unto me with much love and [Page 76]thankfullness: ‘I have nothing [...] fight against, the Lord Jesus hath overcome all. She added hereun­to, I had never beleeved, that the [...] Lord would give me such great [...] peace, and so discharge me from all things.’

‘I have, said she, before hung fas [...] to my children, but now no more, [...] leave them by the grace of the Lord wholly into his hands, and in those of his Children. I had a speciall love for the eldest, because some­times I saw some beam of the Lord in him: and I hope likewise tha [...] the Lord will shew mercy and grace to him.’

Some dayes afterwards she said to me, that if God pleased she should y [...] live here longer, she must be resolved to it [...] but that she could well say that it should no [...] be without sensible mortification. And furthermore she said, sighing to th [...] Lord from the ground of her heart [...] O when will it be that my God will come [...] when will he approach to take me to him­self! And telling her that she short [...] should have no need of our brothe [...] [Page 77]who taketh care of the sick, she ans­wered with a joyfull mind: I have [...]ftentimes wished that the time might come, that he might have no more occa­sion to take pains about me, and I would heartily thank him for all what he hath done for me in love, and I am willing to doe it, [...]ven from this time; hoping that we should tell her, that there was no­thing for her to use for the recovery of her health, and that there was no­thing to be expected but her happy departure.

Telling her that being to go to the Lord, she should say unto him with all her heart that word of Ste­ [...]hen the first martyr, which I had [...]lways much loved: Lord Jesus re­ [...]eive my spirit: she answered very af­ [...]ectionately, O that blessed and very [...]ovely word! and she did repeat it with [...] great savour, and with a lively [...]nd very tender sense.

Some one at that time coming to [...]ifit her, she said unto him, My [...]eart is at rest. I know not what else to [...]y, I rest in the Lord. He knows that [...] am weak, and he is strong for me. And [Page 78]he afterwards telling her, that God was very good to her, and that he did all things well: O, said she taking up the word, O he doeth all things so well, he maketh all things so well that one can not wish them to be better. An other person who also was there saying unto her as she went away; the Lord strengthen you my sister she answered, Alas what should I be, if he did it not!

The Lord being willing to take her speedily to himself, and withou [...] the presence of many, did find i [...] good some days before whilest w [...] were in the Assembly, to make h [...] so weak, that she thought she should then die, as there was also much like­lyhood of it. That sister which wa [...] with her, and lykewise her husband our Brother, were at that time much comforted, to see her in the state wherein she was. She said diver [...] times, My good Jesus, my belove. Lord, will you come to take me to thy self? My Jesus will you be so good to me [...] that even this day thou wilt make me [...] come unto thee? And telling her [...] [Page 79]You doe wish very much to go to the Lord Jesus? she answered with all her heart, ‘O yes, my dear Sis­ter, this is all my good, ô did he but come, that good Lord. O how specially good hath God been to me, that he hath brought me to his Work among his Children! Could we dare to pretend to that good which there he hath shewen to us? O how good is God! O how good hath he been unto me: But I have not felt it sufficiently.’ Where upon she did in uprightness humble her self for her sins, being ashamed before God and his Children, with much lively feeling and humility of heart. She said, ‘I have oftentime [...] shewen a spirit which was hardly to be contented in respect of that good God, and who hath been so good to me. O how much cause have our worthy Brethren had to tell me of that!’ Furthermore she said, looking upon her corruption: ‘I have a thousand and thousand times admired at that great mercy of my God, who was willing to [Page 80]shew mercy to such a creature as I am, and I have with my self often­times said before him, Lord is it possible, that you should have re­ceived such an evill creature!’ She added to it, ‘I condemn all my sins, and doe humble my self before the Lord for them, and I pray to God and his Children to forgive them all.’

A little while after being much moved she said: My good Jesus, wilt thou be so mercifull to me, that at present thou wilt fully wash me clean in thy Blood? ô how great is that grace! how unworthy am I of it! Come my Lord Jesus, draw me quickly unto thee, My Lord Jesus, I desire none but thee.

That sister which talked with her, asked if she desired any thing of her, and she answered, ‘I have nothing upon my heart, except if you be pleased to have a little eye, parti­cularly upon the children, when God shall have taken me to himself. This I entreat of you simply,’ as she proceeded, ‘because I find my self inclined thereunto, and not [Page 81]because of the least incumbrance which I have thereunto: no I have none by the Grace of God, no more then if I had no children, nor anything in the world. When we go to God, then we must set all things a side. God and the soul, and no more. Likewise I can tell you with an upright heart, that the only desire which I have, is to go to my God & to JESUS my Saviour.’

And yet proceeding on she said: Though I am very unworthy, yet he cau­seth me to feel his holy rest, and leads me to him without care That sister saying to her, Then you doe depart in rest, and you shall enter as with full sail into the blessed haven of glory, into the bosom of the living God? so the answered: Yes, JESUS CHRIST my good Lord reacheth the hand to me. He will draw me, and give me the happiness to arrive there I doubt not on it, I trust on JESUS my Lord.

After that she had been silent some time, she began to pray & to groan after the coming of God and JESUS [Page 82]Christ to her, and turning her face she said: ‘My worthy sister, pray fervently that my God may come, and that his good Spirit may sup­port me to the end. Death is a way which is something narrow, pray to the Lord Jesus, that he may lead me through it. And a little after waxing fain, she further said, I beleeve that I shall thus soft­ly go away.’

One of our sisters being then come to her bed, and talking with her about the happiness of those who die in the hands and love of Christ, she said to her very sensibly: I have earnestly entreated the Lord Jesus, that he would come, and he hath answered me. He cometh, and is come. And lifting up her arms, and clapping them to­gether, she went on, yea me thinketh I doe already embrace the Lord Jesus. Yet then she was in great distress, and endured much by reason of a generall convulsion of her sinews. And this sister, telling her, that she suffered much, but that it was the way which we must passe to come to the Lord. [Page 83]Jesus she answered with a laughing mouth, which expressed the great contentment of her heart: O that is nothing at all, I doe much rejoyce at it: for all this bringeth me nearer to Jesus.

Likewise from the beginning of this sickness she had a great impressi­on that God would take her to him­self by the way of suffering: ‘O said she, suffering is so good to me, I have so much need of it; me thinketh, if an other of Gods children did suffer my pains, the same would bear them wholly after an other manner; yet however I must acknowledge, that the Lord Jesus hath given me something of his patience.’ For he indeed it is, (as she went on with an unspeakable tenderness towards the Lord Jesus Christ) it is he alone who giveth it to me, ‘I know that of my se [...] I am nothing else but impatience and rebellion.’

God a little while after gave us that comfort as to see her all together, and to bless him for that state where­in he kept her. We came then to [Page 84]her, because it did seem that even yet on that day she was to passe over to the eternall mansion of our hea­venly Father. And she, being cheri­shed and comforted to see us rounda­bout her, cried out praising God: O noble company which thou givest unto me my God at this my departure! O could I take you all with me, said she to us! O what great good is it, to have served the Lord from the heart! O how doe I love you! going on speaking to the Lord Jesus, Thou art my good Lord and my Saviour. All whatsoever the Lord made me to say, whether speaking to her, or praying and presenting her before the Lord, had a lively entrance into her heart, and it kept her as in a holy extasy of spirit, so that we were all lively touched therewith, praising and glorifying God, for powring for I [...] his grace upon her, Telling her t [...]en: my beloved sister indeed you go unto the Lord with all your heart, and there is nothing that kee­peth you here. Not a thread, said she, with such a lively feeling, as that even the sound of her voice [Page 85]could sufficiently witness that she spoke from the inward bottom of her heart. We telling her that one of our sisters, who with the rest could not come unto her, because she was sick, did expect shortly to see her in hea­ven, hoping that God likewise in a short time would take her out of the world, so she answerd very sensib­ly, and being wholly penetrated with that great happiness which is in dying in the Lord: God grant her that grace. Tail her that I wish it to her with all my heart.

However God found it good to de­ferre her deliverance as yet, and to give her some ease. And against night seeing she complained that she slum­bered much, and one told her, that she should but rest because her work was done, Christ having done it for her, and was come himself to d [...] it in her, then she answered, O if that were not, I should not be so quier.

The same person having desired to watch with her for the night, thin­king that likely it would be the last, so she said to her, awakening after [Page 86]she had taken a little rest, O my wor­thy sister, I am afraid that you will be de­ceived, and that I shall not yet go to hea­ven.

Besides God would yet exercise her with suffering, and some days after, being in great anguish by rea­son of the water which did even choake her heart, then she said, I can say as did David, the waters an come unto my soul.

Being very much taken up with that good which God had done to her by that aide & conduct which he had given unto her in his Church, she then said withmuch sensibleness of heart to a sister, O what great cause have we to be faithfull to God!

Her pains and distress growing ve­ry great, and God giving her a lively feeling, that she must bear the same wit [...] more patience, so she passed one night in some anguishes of heart be­fore his Face, confessing her sins, and feeling her self unworthy to be received into his grace. But God so ordering it that I did speak to her in the morning, she then lifted up her [Page 87]self again, and strengthening her self and giving her self a fresh over to God, she spoke with great affecti­on, I will embrace all the words of the Lord, And waite for him in a patient and humble spirit: pray to the Lord, I beseech you, that he may be pleased to make me truly humble.

The next night God did again ve­ry sensibly draw near to her, and did fill her with so much joy, that she could not containe the same nor expresse it, My God doth come, she cryed out. My God what doe not I owe to thee, I wait on thee, and will always wait on thee. And although she had been very weak yet however she went to sing with a loud voice the 31 psalm, O Lord I put my trust in thee, and some words of the song of Mary on the feet of Jesus In a cer­tain Book of ours called Holy Songs.. And that sis­ter which watched with her saying to her, the Lord will soon cause you to sing the new Song of Jesus our King, she answered with fullness of heart, Yea I shall sing it with all the de­sire of my soul, and I shall satisfy my self th [...]rewith.

She hath somtimes had a great fear for death, which caused her indeed much trouble; but one of us asking her if she had not now lost the fear of death, so she answered ‘yes I have, and so perfectly that not so much as the sh [...]dow thereof remained. It is God who hath done it, I could never deliver my self from it. But the Lord hath done it in a moment. I am his creature, I give my selfo­ver into his hands.’

At last God would deliver her, according to her great desire. It was on a saturday before noon, the first of February, that he came so unex­pected to take her to himself, that scarce any should have known it, if the good dispensation of God had not ordered it so that then I was with her. She did for two or three days seem to be much better then formerly. I had spoken with her on fry day, the day before her death, and admonish­ed her of somthing which God requi­red of her, which she did receive with a humble heart, and a great af­fection, and did practice it with [Page 89]great faithfulness. In the morning finding her self better, and the Lord seeming to be willing to lengthen her sufferings, she then prepared her self to bear them with new strength and love. But it was within few hours af­ter that God came to end it. His Spirit moving me to go to visit her before meal, so I found her in great an­guish, and after that I caused som­thing to be given to her for her re­freshment, and she had spoken to me some words with much heart and love, and assuring me she was dy­ing, so I presented her to the Lord Jesus Christ, after that I had with some words strengthened her▪ This being done she slept in the Lord soft­ly, yeelding her spirit in the arms of her husband which supported her, and in the presence of divers brethe­ren and sisters, who then were come unto her. Thus God hath finished her cours, giving us infinite matter for to thank and praise him for the [...]nercy which he hath shewed to this his handmaid, and for that eternall good which he hath communicated [Page 90]unto her in his blessed bosom, whereunto he hath received her for ever. She was then come to the 40. year of her age.

The generall dispositions and last feelings of Mr. Dulignon, faithfull Pastor of this Church.

MASTER Dulignon, my very worthy Brother and faithfull fellow-labourer in the work of the Lord, was born at Marvegeols in the Province of Languedock of a father who loved him in a speciall manner, & spared nothing for his education, whether it was with him self, or at Angouleme where he made him to be­gin his studys, or at Saumur where he did continue the same, or in his journeys for Holland and England, from whence he came again to Paris, where he remained about two years. Beginning there to get an aversness to the world and train thereof, then he felt some inclination to the study of divinity, as being fit to draw him of from all affections to this age, and [Page 91]to cause him to turn his thoughts to­wards heaven. Mr. Drelincourt, who had him in love and estimation did shew himself to be very glad for his resolution, conceiving great hopes that it would tend to the good of Gods Church, if he gave himself to the building up of it. And his fa­ther gave willingly his consent there­unto, though he had formerly other thoughts concerning this worthy son. All this made him resolve to go to Geneva, where he thought to find more help to the end which be pro­pounded to himself, and had then yet but a weak aim to it. As soon as he was come there, and had heard Mr. de Labadie, his heart was as captiva­ted by the speciall and unusuall mat­ters which he found in that Man of God. And even from that time he took his resolution to put himself un­der his oversight. And going to vi­sit him he desired that he might dwell in his family: and so he came to his house, notwithstanding the other re­commendations, which he had to other persons and Ministres at Gene­va. [Page 92]Even as the Lord had then all­ready brought me to that place, and I dwelled with Mr. de Labadie, whom I have known and loved from my youth at Montauban, so my worthy Brother and I felt then first a tender and mutuall friendship to arise in our hearts, which the grace of God did sanctify, and in success of time did make so firm and perfect as might be seen, and which through his mercy shall never end.

The customs of the world being very deeply rooted in the heart of my worthy Brother, they therefore were not so suddainly rooted out: but after divers great fits, he at the last gave him self wholly up unto the Lord, and yeelded him self upright­ly into his hands, denying himself with all his heart. Then we could first love one the other truly. And then likewise God made us one heart and one soul, through his Spirit and love. Divers of our friends had with us gotten a tast in the truth of Christian life, which Mr. de La­badie did set forth with an admirable [Page 93]force and with a light and purity which was fit to inlighten others, and to touch their heart, but they were not faithfull, and coming a­gain to them selves did return to the accustomed train of the world. But God, who in his goodness from my childhood had given me a lively im­pression of his service, and did much encrease the same whilst I was at Ge­neva, gave me that great comfort to be able to go to him in the compa­ny of this faithfull friend in whom he did work in such a powerfull manner, and whom he did joyne together with me very nearly and intimately with his faithfull servant Mr. de La­badie. We did so spend together the two last years of our staying at Geneva, that our heart with reason, was much touched therewith, as often as we since that time have thought on it. The Lord was very good to us, and did vouchsafe to communicate him self so to our sou­les, that we owe him eternall thank [...] for his mercy and grace.

M. de Labadie having done to­wards [Page 94]the reformation of Geneva during seven years time, all what his zeal and the extraordinary grace of God wherewith he was indowed did put him in mind, and to which it had set him on; and seeing how little reall fruit he gathered for the Lord, although great alterations did happen from time to time, and he was followed by a great concourse of people, and was much regarded, and heard with much applaus; so he resolved to accept of the call which he had to go to Middelborgh, which was sent to him without any parti­cular expectation, although long before we had firmly beleeved and expected, that the Lord should draw us out of Geneva, by the ways which him self should prepare thereunto. He then opening this way, we all three perfectly felt, (after we had oftentimes consulted the Lord in prayer) that it came from him, and that it would be the way, whereby he would give us means that we might come to doe his work in these united Provinces. We [Page 95]were in hopes that we should be able there to produce more true and essen­tiall fruits, then at Geneva, a city which giving it self the name of Je­rusalem, was truly like to her in this, that she did wonderfully pre­sume upon the outward privileges which it had received from the Lord, and did hold her self much contented with a worship of God, very like unto that whereby formerly Jerusa­lem thought to be able to satisfy him. As for the rest she did much harden her self against the word that the Lord caused to be offered to her, greeving very much the spirit of that faithfull servant of God, which did wholly burne with zeale for the wel­fare and reparation of the Church, which he found in all places to be much decayed and deformed.

Mr. Dulignon my very worthy and blessed brother, being with me fully resolved to accompany this Man of God in all the ways which it should please the Lord to take with him, and being more then ever in­clined, to dedicate our selves to the [Page 96]building up of the Kingdom of Go [...] and to the help and salvation of h [...] Elect, so we were fully determine [...] to go with him. But for as much a [...] on the one side it was very hard fo [...] Mr. de Labadie to get out of Geneva because the people would not l [...] him go, and without doubt woul [...] have hindered him, if they ha [...] known the time of his departure. An [...] on the other side he would have ru [...] great danger if the Savoyers, whic [...] did spy out his passage, and others o [...] the Romish Religion, had gotte [...] knowledge thereof; therefore we we [...] forced to stay till the providence o [...] God it self should offer to us som [...] convenient opportunity. Even [...] also it happened. And after such [...] manner that we with reason di [...] admire at it, and were togethe [...] freed from all danger. A Colony o [...] Waldenses or inhabitants of the Vally of Premont, being persecute [...] for the truth, were resolved to g [...] over to Germersem in the Paltz▪ near by H [...]ydelbergh, and we [...] just at that time to passe through Ge­neva [Page 97]and Switzerland, which like­wise was the way which we were to pass through. Mr. de Labadie having acquainted the chief of them the thoughts which we had to joyne our selves with them, and in their compa­ny, but unknown, to go to the Paltz, so this was received by him with great joy, as who long ago had known the reputation of Mr. de Labadie, and had much love for him after that he had heard him to preach at Orange and Geneva. The only difficulty which occurred, was that having no letpass but only for eighty persons, so we should have given occasion by the encrease of the number, in popish places, which we were to pass, to make an examination which might have discovered us. But God him self took order therewith, even at that time when they were to depart, [...]n as much as three of the eighty per­sons were suddainly taken sick; and being necessitated to stay at Geneva, they left their three places open, which we supplied: so that the nom­ber of the persons which was menti­oned [Page 98]in the letpass did remain intire. Having then changed our cloths, Mr. de Labadie, Mr. Dulignon, and I, with the break of day we went out of Geneva, and came to the vessell of these good people, who did wait for us at the lake Leman about half an hour going from Geneva. We were there received with great love, although we were at the first un­known to the most of the persons; but in time as they came to know that they had Mr. de Labadie in their company, they then were very glad for it. But they kept it always very secret. We went through divers dan­gers in our passage through the Swit­sers cantons contrey which are of the Romish Religion, especially at Phi­lipsburgh and at Brisack; but the Lord delivered us out of all, and himself gave us opportunity to make a Church of our vessell, and to be able therein to preach his word mor­nings and evenings and more times of the day. Those good people shewed themselves especially glad that they had us with them, and they did wis [...] [Page 99]much that they might have my Bro­ther or me to continue with them to have a Pastor after their own heart. But God called us elswhere. We then at the last came into these Provinces with Mr. Menuret, whom we had known and Gods pro­vidence caused us to meet at Heidel­bergh.

Being come to Utrecht where we were received with great affection, by Mr. Voetius, Mrs. Van Schur­man, and all her friends: then Mr. de Labadie did presently protest that he was resolved to have a warr with the world in his assembly at Middle­burgh, preparing himself either to drive it out of the same, or else to be driven out of it by them. Being come there we found that assembly [...]n a miserable and deplorable state; [...]nd those that most feared God, lon­ [...]ing and waiting for the coming of Mr. de Labadie, for to take order a­ [...]out divers horrible misrules which were found as well in the heads [...] members, so he took it present­ [...]y to hand with faithfulness and [Page 100]zeal, and the Lord gave us all a large field to labour in, both in publick and in particular for the welfare of souls and for the reformation of that poor Church, which the world had almost swallowed up. But all those which would not hear any thing to be spoken of the reformation of life joyning together, and being afterwards assisted by the wallish Synod, wherewith we had often­times to do, and the last time a­bout the business of Mr. Wolzo­gen, so we had not a little to suf­fer in those 4. years time whilst we were in that place. In the mean while the Lord employed my worthy Brother in many things, as well in Holland as at Utrecht, and even here in Friesland. And he made use of him for the good of his Work, and for the edification of many souls, whether at Rotterdam where he was much beloved by Mr. de Rochefort, and where having preached the word of the Lord for some time, the whole consistory in the occasion gave an authentick witness in his favour; [Page 110]or in a speciall manner at the Hague, where he stayed frequently a long time, the Lord there blessing sin­gularly his word and conversation, even as also in other places, and ac­companying it with the assistance of his grace, for the instruction and the help of many. God after­wards having brought us to Ams­terdam, and after divers great trials calling us also to Herfort, then he went to speak to the Lady the Prin­cess Elizabeth, to try her dispositi­ons, in which she shewed herself to be confirmed in a speciall manner after she had seen and spoken with our Brother, making it known to many what great satisfaction she had in that which she found in this ser­vant of God. When we were come to Herfort, then the Lord enlarged his grace and Spirit more and more in my worthy Brother, and did use him to his service, whether it was in that place or whether it was again in Hol­land or at Altena by Hamborrow, where he did afterwards gather us all together, and did continue to powr [Page 102]out his blessing upon our souls and assembly. When in that place the Lord had taken to himself his faith­full servant Mr. de Labadie, then I and my worthy Brother felt our selves as newly united again, and very narrowly bound, having never had the least difference between us in the guidance of Gods work amongst us. He came here in Friesland to vew the place before we came over, and having stayed afterwards at Altena with a part of our assembly, so he followed us some time after for our mutuall comfort. And so it was here where first appeared that evill with which the Lord visited him, to the glory of his Name and to mani­fest his grace in a speciall manner, at the end of his life.

Having a very moist head, he was much incommodated by many sharp defluctions, which formerly whilst we were yet at Middleburgh, did use to fall upon his eyes even so farr as that he was like to loose his sight thereby; and afterwards divers times upon his heart: which did of­tentimes [Page 103]cause suddain faintness. And it seems that those humors ha­ving changed their cours, did fall upon his chinne and there did form an evill, which divers did beleeve to be a sort of canker, but which at the end was found to be otherwise.

He was therefore fain to suffer much pain; whether because of the evill it self, or by the very painfull cures which were used about it. The first was at Amsterdam, under the o­versight of Doctor Helvetius, who dealt with him in much affection & love, at the house of our worthy Bro­ther Mr. Bardewisch, which was very glad to have him to stay with him as long as his cure should re­quire it.

When they were come to an inscisi­on to begin the curing of his evill, which was done by Corrosives, he suffered all with very great patience, and at that time he did write to me di­vers things that were very moving, of which I make no difficulty here to re­late some extracts of them. Thus he uttered him self about his state [Page 104]Jannuary the 14. 1679. ‘If the Lord was not my strength, I should soon faile, but he doth not withdraw his goodness from me. He will continue the same to me, if it be his good pleasure, to all what­soever his will shall be concer­ning me in this my particular state. The hand of the Lord is nothing at all hard, but contrarily is very soft towards me, and truly it is the hand of such a father as our God is. He keepeth me by his grace prepa­red to all his divine will, and whatsoever he shall will, I hope of his infinite love, he will grant me to will the same with him, and to love it with all my heart. He hath shewed me very reall argu­ments of his love, and as I did say but yesterday, I feel that I am a sinner whom he Loveth.’ In his letter of the 17. are found these words: ‘It is a very reall comfort to be given up unto the will of the Lord, and in all things to depend on him. How lovely is that way, to leave one self wholly unto him! [Page 105]how necessary and comfortable! if souls oftentimes did know better what is to be found therein, they would not find so much trouble to go in it. But self-love blindeth men, and maketh them most miserable that suffer them selves to be posses­sed therewith.’ On the 20. he wrote to me these words: ‘That part which love maketh you to take in that which concerneth me, giveth me speciall matter to praise and thank the Lord, and I pray to him to grant me that I may glorify him, for all his goodness towards me, the remaining part of my life, in ex­pectation of the eternall praise and love which I wish to give him, e­ven as he is infinitely worthy there of. The Lord maketh me from day to day to feel his soft hand, but I doe very well find that I must no less depend on his liberty, then at that time when this evill is most sensible to me. He can if he thin­keth it fit, yet again visit me with it, and he might send me also a geater and more reall. He hath [Page 106]all power over me, who have deser­ved nothing but his wrath.’ On the 26. he did write with much ten­derness of heart, and with an impres­sion of humility, wherewith his heart was so full and so much pene­trated: ‘I am in some measure asha­med, my worthy Brother, that for such a small inconvenience, you doe all partake so much in that which I suffer. That tenderness moveth me much; but I feel before the Lord, that it passeth above what my condition is and requireth in his presence, yet for as much as it pleaseth him to give that heart, I therefore like and accept with love and thankfulness the demonstrati­on thereof. This very thing is a fruit and issue of his goodness to­wards me through his Children: and I thank him for it, even as I feel very well that I am thankfull to them for it, and especially to my worthy Brother, who doth de­monstrate the same so much to me. It is true till this time the Lord hath been pleased to keep me from [Page 107]time to time in some suffering, and perhaps his way will be to let me pass through more of the same. It is also true that his hand, who hath prepared all this for me doth support and strengthen me by much goodness, causing me to love his way, and to have a will to glorify him therein. But surely, my worthy Brother, I am very sen­sible before him that all things are very imperfect, & very farr of from that which I owe him and he re­quireth from me. I am satisfied through his long-suffering and mercy in all my imperfections, especially because they are to me a particular cause to humble my self under him. But he will have us to know well by experience that all our sufficiency is from him, and that without him we can do nothing. he is not only the cause and support of all the good which is in us, but he is also the perfection thereof. He will be all this in me & all whatsoever more is necessary according to his plea­sure, [Page 108]in all whatsoever he shall re­quire to the eternall glory of his Name.’ The 28. I received from him a letter out of which I shall relate these following words which did shew that his cure was to continue, as also it did; ‘My disposition is not so well as it hath been for some days since, because my pains have encreased my feavers, and have taken away much of the rest which formerly I had, the Lord will lessen the one and give the other as it shall please him. There is nothing to be said about any thing that he doth, he be blessed for it for evermore. The cure of my accident is like to continue, if the Lord of his good­ness doth not shorten it. For as much as our sister M. doth write to you hereof, I will say no more concerning it. I take part with the suffering of our sister Y. And I wish that I may be able to shew it more particularly. But God, who is not only our supply but also our truth in all things, will also supply that want of the demon­stration [Page 109]of my heart which I wish I could do to her. I entreat her that she love his Dominion. He will not have us to bear the name of his sub­jects in vain. He is our Lord and our King: We will call him so, and we do well for he is so. And that he cometh to us in all such manner as he doth is to make us to have experience as well of the truth as of the loving-kindness of this his Dominion over us.’ The 4. of Fe­bruary he wrote unto me concerning his state with these words: ‘what concerneth my condition I know not what to write unto you, but I feel very well that my cure, if God will be pleased to give it me, must come from him. Those that labour about it do it with affec­tion, but the blessing must only come from him, without which nothing can be done. They have hitherto made use of corrosives, which have caused pain to me; but the hand of the Lord, which is likewise the hand of our Father, hath supported me. What concer­neth [Page 110]the future, I believe it must be much left to him, and as for me I well perceive, that it is his will that I must remain always in a totall resignation of my self to him: and that portion is much to be beloved. He is my God and likewise will be my good Father to all eternity according to his good pleasure. This is enough to me. I am satisfied with all whatsoever his will shall be concer­ning me, if it pleaseth him all­ways to continue to me that spirit and heart, as I hope this of his infi­nite mercy.’ He did write unto me the 7. of the same month: It pleaseth ‘the Lord in small things to instruct me much, whether it be in respect of him self and of his wonderfull help, or in respect of my self, to cause me to have experience how greatly and continually I have need of the Spirit of God without exception of any. But how tender is his love! How powerfull is his strength! How lovely is his faith­fullness! How confirming is his [Page 111]presence, and all his ways sutable to his wisdom and love, especially when it pleaseth him to let our souls see somthing of that wisdom, wherein he bestoweth all things on those that are his, yea even to the least thing. I do receive my les­sons, my worthy Brother, in lit­tle, even as the great Belevers and men of God have received theirs in greater ways, and in occasions which were proportioned to the great measure of grace, and ac­cording to the speciall purposes of the Lord concerning them. I do however wish that in a speciall manner I may praise him the re­mayning part of my life and for ever, for that which his mercy vouchsafeth to do in me, to in­struct me more concerning my self and him. The same accidents which God sendeth to the world and to his own, must certainly be looked upon intirely with an other eye in the one then in the other; and even as in the dispensing of them he hath quite differing aims, [Page 112]so likewise we must use & receive them otherwise as men commonly do; the Lord having no other aim in his designes about those that are his, but to do them more good, and to make them more ac­ceptable to him that he may have more his divine pleasure in them.’ On the 14. he uttered this truth in one of his letters: ‘I have some­times been touched herewith, that as the Lord hath caused us lively to feel, that as it was his will we should see nothing but him in the way of loving-kindness & light, wherein he hath caused us to walk a long time; he would likewise teach us, not to see nor will any thing but him in the way of any suffering he doth send to us. And indeed he is no less in this last as in the former. Yea he causeth many times such a true & pure joy to be found therein, that all other con­tentment can not be compared therewith.’ On the 21. He did write to me these following words, ‘Our state is reasonably well by the [Page 113]goodness of the Lord, and he hath shewed the same to me in par­ticular very much, having suppor­ted me during those pains, which thus farr have been necessary for the curing of my evill, and streng­thening me when they are but a little less, and not bringing upon me such heavy feavers which by their continuance according to their ordinairy course would quick­ly have brought me down. But it is the loving-kindness of this good Physitian & Father, whom I must acknowledge, and for which I must thank him. What concerns my accident in particular, they took of a crust yesterday, which was made by the corrosive, and seeing it was very thick, they think that it is gone pretty deep towards the bottom of the evill. The Lord who doth direct & dispose all things according to his mind & good pleasure, will put an end to it, when it shall please him, if his divine will be so. He maketh us to love his will, which causeth [Page 114]our separation according to the bo­dy to continue longer, then hath been thought, but I hope he will give so much the more comfort, when his good hand will cause all meet together again. I recom­mend the condition of our sick to his love, and I pray to him that through the same he may bless them in all what he sendeth unto them. Likewise the state of the souls of all the brethren and sis­ters, whether those that are nearer by or further of, toucheth me sen­sibly, and I pray Likewise to the author of that great mercy which i [...] shewed to our souls, that he will encrease the same to them, and con­firm them therein, and make them faithfull to the same, and to grant them to walk worthily of the same before him. That pure Spirit is very little to be found, and happy is he who hath a little true oil in his lamp. O what [...] great gift is that! and how much are we bound to dispise all things for it, yea also to deny our selves [Page 115]that we may purely possess the same. I pray to the Lord with all my heart, that he may be plea­sed to let this sense go into the ground of my heart, and as into the marrow of every one of those whom his love will give to us, even as also of those whom his love hath already given to us. There are indeed few lamps, which burn in the presence of God, or which be in state to burn throug the good & pure Spirit, and if the Lord in some measure doth grant us that benefit, what doe not we owe to this love? I doe greet with much tenderness all the Church of the Lord which he hath formed amongst us, and as many he calleth thereunto, and those who do endeavour to please him, and to serve him in truth. And although I do not name them by name, yet they are not therefore less present to me in my spirit, and the condition of each of them doth nothing the less go to my heart.’ After this cure had continued long, and my worthy [Page 116]Brother had suffered very much by the continuall application of corrosi­ves, so it pleased the Lord to close the wound which his hand had made, as he did write unto me Aprill the [...] in these words: ‘From this day throug the goodness of the Lord, they began to put a little ledden plate upon the wound, as being closed up. I have no more pain on it, and it seemeth that the Lord will end all things through his goodness. He grant me of his in­finite mercy that I may live wholly a new life to his glory, and to the glory of Jesus Christ his beloved Son, my Saviour & King to all eternity,’

He had divers times an inclinati­on on to write a common letter to those whom the Lord in his love hath joy­ned to us, and in his House doth keep gathered under his oversight, giving us hope that he will fully u­nite them with this his House and Body. And his incommodity not having hitherto permitted him to do it, so he did it the 15. of [Page 117]of the same month. And because the affections which he uttereth therein and the exhortations which [...]he maketh, are very pure and edi­fying, it hath there fore seemed good to me here to relate them, as they are expressed in the letter fol­lowing.

‘My beloved brethren and sis­ters, I have oftentimes had a mind to write unto you, to give you some speciall witness of that holy love which God hath laid in our hearts for your souls, but the Lord ha­ving hindered it sometimes by the disease wherewith he hath been pleased to visit me, I therefore have thought that his Spirit provi­deth in all things through himself in those who have received him, and that he also hath granted you a­boundantly to be led and helped in the way of the Lord which he hath made to you, by my worthy Bro­ther your faithfull pastor. So I have thus farr contented my self as to let you know with how much tenderness I am mindfull of you, [Page 118]and to pray the Lord that it may please him to continue his mercy to you, and to multiply that preci­ous grace which he sheweth to you together with us, that is in truth and only to seek his divine Face. And I hope that he hath not rejec­ted that prayer which in my weak­ness I was inclined to make for your souls. He is good, and taketh pleasure in the least groan which his Spirit formeth in us to his glory. I likewise have desired to admonish you in his love that you should wholly and for all things trust on him, we are but to pray for his grace that the spirit of his glory may ina­nimate us and lead us in all things. And should he deny us that which his Spirit and love maketh us to de­sire for his own sake? That can not be: for he is unchangeably faith­full to the Love which he hath for himself, and for all that which thereof he powreth out into our hearts, to make us to draw near to him. Make account above all things of that good to know him so [Page 119]as he causeth himself to be known to you. For there is great dark­ness upon the earth, and perhap [...] the same will grow yet more hea­vy; God in his just judgement fin­ding it good that his truth should still keep it self much hidden, whe­ther it be by reason of mens hard­ness or by reason of error. My belo­ved it is very seldom that one shall hear a word of pure truth, and if one cometh to heare any it is common­ly weakly and little in the spirit. Let this go lively into your hearts, even as it ought to touch us all holi­ly and to make us fear. Truly the Lord is good to our souls, and we have great matter to humble our selves before him, and to be ashamed he vouchsafing to give us to partake of the pure grace of his beloved Son, and to place us in the holy ways of his pure and true service. Let the greatness and purity of the calling whereof you are made partakers, pull you yet more out of your selves, and exalt you above all thinghs, It is from God, and it [Page 120]must joyne us with him. It is a­bove nature, and it must put us a­bove nature, whether it be within us, or without us. It is spirin [...] all, and consequently it mus [...] make us to live after the spirit▪ and make us to deny all what i [...] flesh. We ought to lay this mor [...] to heart, that it renewing us in tha [...] purity whereof it maketh an im­pression, it may more draw al [...] our hearts and minds out of the [...] ­selves, and may make them mor [...] to live of him who is the Autho [...] thereof. Be not weary to walk is those ways which the Lord Jesu [...] Christ hath troden out and conse­crated to you by his blood. They lead you to the eternall commu­nion with God: and insteed o [...] being afrighted from them, rene [...] yourselves rather oftentimes i [...] that Spirit which causeth us to wall therein. We have many time more cause to be ashamed becaus [...] we have almost done nothing as i [...] fit, then to think that we have walked & runned well. The Lor [...] [Page 121]Jesus went with great steps to the cross to die for us, and how slow­ly do we go to the place where we shall find life! Let us blush & be ashamed for it, even as it is fit, & renewing our strength in him, in whom we can do all things, let us goe anew and walk in the pre­sence of God, of Jesus Christ, and of his Spirit, in the ways of his love and his service. Allthough now for some time I have not had the comfort of seeing your faces, yet however, I have some times felt, beholding you in the Spirit, that the Lord hath been well plea­sed with you, and that he would multiply his grace and mercy to you from day to day. But belo­ved brethren and sisters, must not we seek the same in a spirit wholly new? And will we be wearied to love the same, and to walk there by? The Spirit which maketh them to be found every day so lovely is a new Spirit given to that end, and he like­wise worketh new things in those that have received him. I pray you [Page 122]beloved be not cast down about any thing, that you may not grow faint in the way which the Lord hath made to us: for he will streng­then us unto all things through the holy Spirit of his strength: and if through his love for him, we are indeed willing to be strong, the weakest shall have so much given to him that neither the flesh, nor the world, nor the hell shall be able to overcome him. Be faithfull to suffer your selves to be humbled and broken, through the Spirit of truth and purity which the Lord causeth you to feel, and through which he speaketh unto you, and presseth you with love. There is no life of Christ in us but so far as we are dead to our sel­ves; and his Spirit doth not purely enlarge it self but after that our own Spirit is denied and bro­ken. The more we resist God, so much the more labour we shall have: for who hath resisted him and had peac [...]e; We therefore ex­hort you Brethren and Sisters, and [Page 123]we beseech you, yea urge you in that lovely name of the Lord Jesus, before whom every knee in heaven and in earth must bow it self, that you suffer his Spirit to destroy in you all whatsoever is against him, that so he may have full power in you and over you, and may pos­sess and lead you as his beloved Children. Have not you already felt many times that his Kingdom is infinitely soft and sweet, and is not exalted, but upon the overthrow of the kingdom of sin, of pride, and of self-love? Let this spirituall experience & foretast of the King­dom of God (which is neither meat nor drink, and doth not consist in words, nor in thoughts nor fee­lings, but in spirit; being no­thing but truth, righteousness, & peace and joy in the Holy Ghost) exalt you as yet more above your selves, and all what you have known according to men, accor­ding to the flesh, and according to your former conversation; and let it make you to approach unto, yea [Page 124]inwardly to be united for ever with the Father and his children through Jesus Christ, who is the way to this Kingdom, and the King there of. God hath shewen that he hath loved us, and this love hath ap­peared in many things which he hath done about his Work amongst us in generall, and about every soul in particular who hath been faithfull to him. Let not there­fore any one distrust of him not of his love, and suffer himself to be surprised either by his own spi­rit, or by the spirit of the world, or of the tempter, having known Him that is true, and likewise re­ceived much assurance of that faith­full witness, whose witness allone must be a thousand times more to us, then all whatsoever the world or the spirit of temptation may b [...] able to say. If we did think le [...] on our selves and more on God▪ giving our selves fully over to hi [...] & to his Spirit, to work his pu [...] work, we should not have s [...] many troubles. It is true we mu [...] [Page 125]endure some to be purged out & to be strengthened, but they would be much less, especially for some, who to often & to much are tur­ned again to themselves. But this bad returning to ones self must have an end, together with the life of the old man; and indeed it is fit yea and time, that we should deny all what is of our own, and go out of our selves, and to go into Christ, and suffer him to possess, and to lead us. I pray in the tender love of the Lord, those whom his Spirit doth upbraid particularly of this sinfull retur­ning to themselves, that they may in truth humble themselves before him; and without being cast down after an humane manner, or to keep themselves up with their own thoughts, imaginations, tempta­tions or also with their own cor­ruptions otherwise as is conveni­ent, that they suffer them selves to be purged out in good earnest, and denying themselves to go anew to him again, who allone must possess [Page 126]them. The truth doth not wea­ken those who with all their heart [...] will live to God. Contrarily it doth strengthen them, and it is to them a Spirit of life and holy strength. Love the same all of you, I beseech you, for the truth i [...] wholly lovely, when one hath the right heart to love it. I greet you all beloved in the Lord, and by name. Although here I do not put down the names, yet however I name you in my spirit, and I pray to God affectionately, that he may be pleased to multiply his true love to you, and renew to you the inclination to his holy service, and to make you faithfull & fit for to glorify him in Spirit and in Truth. Be you of his true wor­shippers, and let him be your God & Saviour, both now & for ever­more. His blessing be upon you, and the Spirit of peace, of purity, and grace, which is given to all those that love him, rest in your hearts, and possess the same in all things. This I wish to you my [Page 127]well-beloved, in love & feeling. I think with tenderness on the chil­dren, and I exhort them earnest­ly to walk in the fear of the Lord, and according to his divine will, as being separated from the world by a speciall Providence, and cal­led for to obey & serve him, by such a goodness of God which in these dayes is very rare.’

About the same time he had like­wise written a letter to one of our sisters which found her self inclined to write to him what she felt con­cerning his suffering, and what part that all his sheep had always taken there in. And because that which there upon he expresseth is very much tending to edification, I will therefore joine it to that which we have already seen and related of him. He then did write to her in these words: ‘The bands of God and of his Spirit are glorious bands, and even as they doe unite us in him, who can never be enough known nor loved, so likewise they have somthing which can not well [Page 128]be expressed nor comprehended, le [...] them ty us yet more straight toge­ther, in binding us fast unto him the Author and the End thereof. Our communion with him, and with those that are his, in him, is the work of his almighty and e­ternall love. Let us then look upon the same as that which is more then common, and so farr as it is given to us to enjoy that great good, let us with all our hearts blesse and love him who giveth it to us. I have great cause to thank him for his goodness and patience towards me, and I have no less cause to humble my self under his divine hand, and to learn to be more obe­dient unto him, and to be more compliable with all whatsoever his will shall be concerning me. His ways about those that are his, ( [...] being dispensed through an infinite love) are instructing, and I feel somtimes that I must come more in­structed and more humble out of that way wherein he hath been pleased to hold me some time; and [Page 129]I trust to him, that as he doth no thing in vain about those to whom he hath given a heart which seeketh in truth to please him, that he will not deny me that grace, to be able in some measure to answere the sense which I have thereof. My former disease hath been accompanied with much sweetness, and I can hardly see any other thing therein. You likewise, and others with me have found how good it is to be and to re­main under his hand, when it plea­seth him to keep us under it; let our little experience teach us more that obedience which we owe him, & let it make us to draw nearer to him, seeing he vouchsafeth to come to us in so much love, then even when he cometh to us to make us to suffer any thing. If that which seemeth to be a severity is such a great good, what is not his goodness and friend­ship it self, when he is pleased in some measure to shew the same ac­cording to what they are? Though you, as likewise our worthy sisters have not written to me but by my [Page 130]worthy Brother, I have not there­fore any thing less felt the tender­ness of your hearts, and the portion which you take in my state. And although there had been nothing written at all to me of that which the Lord hath caused his Children to feel about me, I would have comforted my self with the sense of their love. Those good hearts and that good Spirit, which the Lord giveth to those that are his, are to much inclined to feel all what is of the communion of those who are united in God and in Christ, then that they should fail in the dutys of love which do ob­lige them. And I am likewise sen­sible, that even as they with ten­derness of heart have taken part in that which hath been allotted un­to me, so likewise that I have had part, and still have in all what ever the Lord hath done about them, and doth continue to do in his goodness and presence; now he seemeth to cause my return unto you to ap­proach, so I do very well find the [Page 131]sensible attraction of that holy fel­lowship which he hath made be­tween our hearts in him.’

The Lord at that time having re­stored my very Worthy Brother, gave him opportunity to go to Rotterdam, and to the Hague, and to Utrecht to satisfy the desire of divers; after which in his faith­full Providence, he brought him a­gain to us, to our mutuall and spe­ciall comfort. Even as he did very tenderly love his sheep, so likewise was he tenderly beloved by them, and he feeling a speciall love towards me, so I felt likewise such a great full and inward agreement of heart with him, that I can not ex­press the same, even as this is known to God, and hath appeared before his Children amongst us. So that we thanked the Lord together for that mutuall consolation which he gave to us, and which did very sensibly ele­vate us to him. His zeal for Gods glory and the salvation of souls was greater and more lively then ever, and he applyed himself with much [Page 132]feeling of heart to the making of our great Catechism or Christian instruction, which came out in print a few days before the Lord took him out of this world into his eternall glory. He ap­plyed him wholly anew to the cure of his worthy flock, edifying them by word, example and guidance, and together with me providing for them all necessary help, which his wor­king love did incline him without ceasing to afford them. But before the sommer was wholly past, we saw his evill to grow again, by the falling down of the same humors, and it did encrease even so much, that it was judged to be absolutely ne­cessary to come to a totall extirpati­on. We endeavoured to have an ex­perienced Chirurgent to come from the Hague, which had shewed love to us, but the providence of God not permitting him to come, so it was the desire of my Worthy Brother, after he had taken counsell about it with our Doctor (who hath shewed to him even to his end a very tender and unusuall affection) that one of our [Page 133] [...]rethren who for some time before [...]xercised himself in Chyrurgery, [...]nd whose hand the Lord hath blessed [...] divers occasions, should do the [...]peration. The pains which my [...]ery worthy Brother did suffer in [...]his cutting of his evill were not com­ [...]on, for the evill having spread it [...]lf very f [...]rr, and more then out­ [...]ardly did appear, so they were con­ [...]rained to take away a great part of [...]is chin, yea even to come more [...]en once to it, which, seeing it was [...]one in the quick flesh, did cause ex­ [...]eam pains. But surely the grace of [...]he Lord, and the strength of his [...]pirit did in that occasion appear so [...]owerfully in him, that even those [...]ery hearts that are least sensible ei­ [...]her of love or pain, might have [...]en moved thereby. He suffered [...]ll without moving of himself, with [...] patience which could not proceed [...]ut from the extraordinary assistance [...]f Jesus Christ our Lord. We saw [...]en in him a lively image of his [...]oly suffering, and of that heart [...]ith which he hath suffered before [Page 134]the eyes of God his Father.

My worthy Brother had an incli­nation, before he was cut, to speak with divers of us: which he did with so much light and presence of Spi­rit, with so much purity of heart, that every one did even melt into tears, and in a speciall manner was drawn up to the Lord Christ wh [...] was pleased to shew himself to us as suffering in his faithfull Servant, He gave a glorious testimony of th [...] good ways of the Lord, of whose in­finite goodness he could not suffici­ently boast, even in this his way with him. Afterwards he sat down in the chaire, whereon he was to suffer, with as much quietness o [...] mind, as if he went to sit at the tabl [...] to meat, and with such valour, which apparently could not proceed bu [...] from God and the power of his love [...] The Doctor which was present whe [...] the work was in doing, was move [...] therewith and especially edified [...] even as we likewise who had ver [...] great cause to thank the Lord for th [...] faithfull assistance of his grace to­wards [Page 135]him, as likewise for the assis­tance which he gave to our brother who wrought in the cure, and who therein behaved himself to the great satisfaction of the Doctor.

After that the evill was cut out, my Worthy Brother not being in state for to speake, would yet in the midst even of his greatest and most lively pain utter out some words to tell us, That the Lord was good and very good: that we should thank him, and more then he himself; and that we should pray to the Lord, if he did put it into our hearts, that in his mercy he would take him to himself.

A few days after we found the wound to be yet in a very slight state, and that much of the evill was yet re­maining. For even as it was not closed up in its skin so it had spread it self much abroad, and was gone a great deale further as one could well beleeve, or judge from without. Yet the wound which was made was very deep; the pains which our worthy Brother must therefore suffer have been very sensible & of long [Page 136]continuance; his weakness was great, and the hope of taking the evill quite away by cutting or other­wise was but little. All this made us to conclude, that we were to cut no more, the Patient being in no condition to suffer it; although on the other side we likewise saw that unless the Lord should extend his helping hand in an extraordinary manner, we should in a short time be deprived of our worthy Brother, after he should have endured yet much pain. The Doctor was sen­sibly greeved for it & was wounded in his heart: but the Lord, who gave us more then ever to take our refuge unto him, did support our hearts by Faith, and by the hope which he gave to us upon his almighty hand. When I said unto my very worthy Brother what we judged of his state, he said, Every will of God is good; and not being able to speake more by rea­son of his wound, so he caused them to give him a writing table, on which he did write these words: ‘By the Grace of God, I wish not to [Page 137]live here below, but I am very willing to go to him, and give my self over to his mercy from whom I expect all. But now I should be able to say nothing else, but that the power of God is able to restore all things, and I feel some joy in my mind that I do as more fall into his divine hands.’ A little after he added these words, ‘I should nor be willing to neglect any thing which the providence of God doth offer to me, for it is the token of his will and of his work; but God doing all things as he doth, that is as I think, to make me to loose and find my self more in him. Perhaps he will likewise have me more to see the end of humane power, to shew us what he is to us in his love when it pleaseth him.’

Our Sister Huyghens speaking to him of his apparent death, so he said, We will follow the Lamb whethersoever it f [...]ll lead us. Believe you that he will take me to himself, ô bless him, bless him for it. He said to some other body, with feeling of heart, and in a spirit [Page 138]of humility whereof he was common­ly very full, I am weak, and strong: weak in myself, and strong in God; and more then I can say. The two next insuing days the wounds did grow worse and worse, so that all appea­rance of healing did by degrees more and more vanish away. But the Lord did put into the heart of our brother that had him in cure, to ap­ply to him a certain oile, which might do no hurt to the wound but much good, if it should please God to give his blessing to it. This re­medy did in few days so much con­sume the evill, and almost without pain, or it did rather so vanish away, by the powerfull and efficacious will of the Lord, that there was no­thing more seen of it, and the wound was put into so good a state, as one might wish. The Lord would thus shew us what he is able to do when it pleaseth him; and that when he doth not the things, it is not because they are to hard or not to be done, but be­cause it is not his time or well plea­sing to him.

When my worthy Brother did run the greatest danger, then one of our brethren had expressed in a song the state and dispositions of our heart in relation to him, and likewise those of the heart of our beloved patient, even as that may be seen in our spirituall songs in french, in page 178. And for as much as di­vers of us went to visit him in the evening, talking one with an other before his bed of the ways of the Lord towards his Children, and [...]articularly towards us, so I cau­ [...]ed to be read that song, which was very much stirring up, and fit to make us to lift up our hearts to the Lord. Whereby our worthy Bro­ther took occasion to utter to us di­vers of his feelings, which were so [...]ender, pure, and full of humi­ [...]ity, love, and thankfullness to­wards God, for the love towards him which he had given to his Chil­dren, that we can not think on [...]t, without having our hearts to be [...]ively moved therewith. I telling [...]im among others, that the Lord [Page 140]caused us to feel and to express that which his Spirit had wrought in truth, and that he would give us an example of suffering, so he said with a tender and deep sense of his heart, which did wring tears out of ours as well as out of his eyes: ‘The love of God and of his Children make me ashamed. The good which hath been is from the Lord. He hath supported me, and dealt with me according to his mercy; but there hath been also much de­fect and mixture of my own with­it. God hath thought on a poor earth-worm. He hath heard the groanings of his Children. All, must be much asscribed to that Spi­rit which the Lord hath given to his Church.’ Telling him yet that the Lord had done good to us all, in that way which he had hel [...] about him, that he had taught us much, and that there is no more but an appearance of evill in all what­soever he doth about those that are his, all that which is essentiall there­in being nothing else but good, so [Page 141] [...]he answered us with a heart which was wholly taken up with the love of the Lord. ‘That he did wish with all his heart that God would continue to him all the days of his life the lively impression of that which he had done to him, all­though he should live yet two or three times longer then he had. The Lord (said he) hath done me much good. I would not for all what is in the world, but I had re­ceived, the good which the Lord in that way hath done to me.’

The wound by Gods blessing visi­bly running together, was at the last closed up by the last hand which he himself did put to it, so that my worthy Brother was thereby not so much as hindred in his speech, and had again the means to be able by his words to edify the House of the Lord, even as he had done so much by his manyfold sufferings, and by the heart which therein he shewed, to the glory of his Grace who gave it him. If I should tell you all what­soever about this great matter the [Page 142]Lord hath made us to feel, those which have not seen that which we have seen, would think that I do make it greater: but I can tell in truth, that the remembrance thereof doth never come to our minds, but we feel our hearts to be enflamed with love to God & to the cross of his Son, which a fresh he was pleased to make so loving & precious, by the experience thereof which he hath given to us in his faithfull Servant.

I have found among his papers a writing, which I do believe he made a little after that the Lord had perfectly healed him. And for as much as it is very fit to make us to see, what were his feelings at that time, as likewise the grace wherewith the Lord had filled his heart, I therefore found good to joyne it to this, for the edi­fication of all those that shall read it, and who must be very unsensible of that which the Lord worketh in those that are his, if their hearts are not touched therewith. He then therein doth utter himself.

‘Great God, whose goodness is a [Page 143]bottomless depth, which one can neither fathom out, nor sufficient­ly praise, open my heart in songs of praise, and grant me that there may flow out of it even streams of blessing and thanksgi­ving, for the good which accor­ding to thy pleasure thou doest to me.’

‘I was come even to the grave, the bonds of death had compassed me. An old & deadly evill, a gnauwing venum did eat away my flesh. I might have been numbred up among the dead, and nothing was able to deliver me from it. Divers means, yea even the art of men did seem to be unprofitable. All was come as to the last end & extremity without appearance of restauration, when it pleased thee Lord almighty, to come to my help, and through thy self to do that which none but thou couldest do.’

‘Thou wast indeed willing to use thy creatures, and to employ their hands, which thy grace sanctifi­eth; [Page 144]but thou hast done this only for to cover thine there by a little. In this thy help which thou hast done, thou wast willing to shew thy self and to hide thy self. To shew thy self in doing that which none but thou couldest do. And to hide thy self, by covering the presence of thy wholsom hand, with that of thy Children as with an acceptable cloud,’

‘Thou hast given them light and knowledge, thou hast strengthe­ned them, thou hast led them, and put them to this work, thou hast taken them as instruments between thy divine fingers, and hast done what in thy goodness thou woul­dest do.’

‘Thou hast also caused the love and the trust which thy Children have to come as to the end, that their love towards thee and e­ven their love towards me, all­though wholly unworthy, might burst out more in its holy flame. It pleased thee to give them love, and to kindle their hearts with a­divine [Page 145]zeal to pray to thee, and to entreat thee for me for that which thy compassion would grant to them. They did call, and were heard, they did pray, and thou didst grant their desires. Thy name be blessed therefore for evermore. O how beautifull are thy works ô my God! how pure is thy gouvern­ment, and how easy are thy ways, how lovely and worthy of thee, my God! I find it in some mea­sure, and my soul is full of the sense thereof to declare it, and to give thee glory for it.’

‘But it is not only in this thing that thy goodness doth give me this lesson. it is already a long while ago that thou hast been pleased, my God, to teach me this by ex­perience, and I ought now to be a master therein, whereat I am yet a child and an ignorant schollar, af­ter all that which thou hast done to form me, and to make me wise and knowing in the wonderfull know­ledge of thy ways.’

‘The works of thy mercy, thy [Page 146]deliverance according to soul and body, thy help, thy support, thy assistance & the glorious works of thy divine power towards me, ô Lord, they are even as without number. I do not find any day or hour in my life, in which I may not see some proof of thy goodness, yea many proofs together.’

‘Thou, my God, hast kept me from my birth. Thine eyes did look upon me when I was yet in my mothers womb. Thy fingers have formed me there. Thou hast wrought me together, composed me, animated & kept me. That imperfect thing hath from tha [...] time been under thy care. This un­shapen lump of flesh & blood, this vessell of earth & mudde although it be compacted together in a hea [...] of sinn, hath been an object of thy wonderfull care.’

‘How oftentimes hast thou no kept me from death even from my childhood? I have been compasse [...] about therewith for divers year [...] and it wanted little but I had bee [...] [Page 147]a prey to it, by reason of the con­tinuall pinings and sickliness, in which I have spent my childhood, but thou wast willing to spare me, because thou haddest laid up for me that costly good to know thee, and Jesus thy Sonn, my Saviour & King. I should then have pe­rished, both in soul & body; but thou hast preserved this temporall life to me, to give me part of that eternall life. Thou hast sustained this body and my weak nature, to make me to arise in spirit & to live again in Grace.’

‘Out of how many dangers hath not thy hand ridd' me in success of times, O my God! what long­suffering hast thou not shewed me, in bearing with me that am so sin­full & so guilty! What mercy, that I have not been a thousand times consurned! But thou hast done this, O Lord, because thou wouldest make thy grace & long­ [...] suffering to abound, where guilt and sin did abound. My sins have been very great, and thy [Page 148]mercys have been infinite.’

‘O noble love, O glorious good­ness and wonderfull long suffering how shall I praise thee! How shall I utter any thing of that which I feel, although my feeling is as nothing to the thing it self, which is infinite, as thou thy self, ô God, art infinite.’

‘Furthermore, Lord, thou hast done good to me, and an infinite good, for the evills which I have done against thee without number. Thou hast pursued me with loving-kindness, when I did most of all flee from thee in my wickedness. Thou hast necessitated me to accept of thy Grace, thou hast forced me to go into thy royal house, and to take part of the wedding feast of thy welbeloved, thou hast pulled o [...] from me my old garments of sin & fillthiness, and thou hast clothed me with a costly garment, for [...] eat with them that are the guests o [...] thy good pleasure.’

‘The number of these benefits & the greatness of Grace maketh [...] [Page 149]to stand astonished, and if thou by thy efficacious working didst not assure me of the truth thereof, their excellency would have caused me to bring them into question.’

‘What goodness and kindness hast not thou caused me to feel, how unfaithfull and imperfect soever I did yet remain! What help and as­sistance, ô my God, have not I found in all my need and agonys! All things have risen up against my soul to destroy it, but thou hast pre­served & ridd' it.’

‘O God of my salvation, how oftentimes hath thy hand suppor­ted me, when I was come to the uttermost extremity! The bot­tomless pit hath even opened some­times it self to devoure me, the most dreadfull terrors have fallen upon me. The violence of hell is come to run against my poor soul, their crafts have been employed in many and divers manners for to ensnare it. And who hath ridd' them away, but thou, ô my God, through thy faithfull and untired love!’

‘If thou haddest not been who thou art, ô my God, infinitely doing good, I had been destroyed without remedy.’

‘O how great are thy mercys, ô my God, which thou shewest to­wards those whom thou lovest! O how great & noble is thy love! it is not limited but by it self, even as it doth not end but in it self.’

‘If that which is good was to have come from me, I had never done it, nor desired it. If so be that perseverance was to have come from my faithfullness I had peri­shed a thousand times, and if my preservation had not been but of my self, I should not have been any thing else but an object of thy wrath, and a subject of destructi­on.’

‘But ô my God, glory, honour, and love be given unto thee for evermore, because thou doest make that thy Elect are not what they are, either in Grace or in Glory, but by thy grace and gift, and because that thou in thy free [Page 151]but all mighty love doest fullfill in them, that which thou wilt have them to be before thy pre­sence.’

‘O high mercy, ô wonderfull love who can comprehend thee! Thy thoughts towards us are won­derfull. Thy mercys are invalua­ble. The works of thy Spirit are incomprehensible: and what thou doest lay up for those that are thine & doest faithfully fullfill in them, is to be praised for ever. Let me therefore praise thee for it, ô my God, the days of my life. Let me without ceasing declare what thou art and what thou doest for and in them that are thine.’

‘I am ô my God, as in a speciall manner thy miserable one, and that patient for whose healing thou doest take care through thine infinite forbearance.’

‘I commit many faults and thou doest pardon them. I am in a cer­tain sense as a riddle to my self, seeing how oftentimes I do sin, & [Page 152]yet how much there is pardoned to me, and how much I am loved. O my God, let thy great love here after shew it self more, in making me such as I ought to be. If I have been a servant of whom much is endured, make me to be an obe­dient & faithfull Child.’

‘Lord thou givest me plentifull matter to praise thee, let me then praise thee without ceasing. My God my desire is that even when I am asleep, my bones, my flesh, and soul may praise thee & be only employed about thee: thou doest compass her about with so much goodness, thou doest protect her from so much evill, thou workest in her so much good, that I have need, ô my God an eternity, to praise thee for it.’

‘I hope I shall fullfill my great defects, when the eternity of thy Grace shall have enriched my po­verty, and shall have placed me above all my miserys. Then thy goodness shall fill up, not only [Page 153]my vessell, but even also the empti­ness of this life. I shall then say to all Angels & Archangels what thou hast done to my soul. I will tell it to thy whole numberless fa­mily. I will shew them thy grace, and declare thy benefits to them, shewing them the wounds of which thou hast cured my soul. But a­bove all I will go to thee, my God and to thee ô Jesus my Preserver, according to the impetuous drift which the eternall and perfect grace of thy love will give to me, and I shall lay down before thy feet, not only the crown of thy pure bounty, but even my whole being. I will adore thee, and annihilate my self, I shall flow away & sink in thy love, and in the Spirit of thy praise.’

This doth at present this faithfull soul, with all her desire and love, with all her desire and love, and according to the tender & affecti­onate promises which she hath done to her God thereof, even as we see in this writing which is much edifi­ing, and very fit to make known the [Page 154]inward part of this most humble soul and faithfull Servant of Jesus Christ. Furthermore these following words have been found among his papers, which shew what then did particular­ly touch his heart: ‘I do lively feel in my heart that the expression of the humility, meekness, po­verty, and the suffering of our Lord Jesus Christ, must be as the way in which I must walk, and the path in which I must runn the remainder of my life. The Lord who giveth to me this feeling, which I love and will close up in my heart, will by his divine fin­ger engrave it therein, not only to continue to me the remembrance thereof, but by his Grace to be faithfull to it, if he will keep me yet sometime in this life.’

After that the all-powerfull and all-good hand of our heavenly Father had thus even as miraculously restored him, so he spoke to all his sheep in such a pure and heart stirring manner in the Assembly, that it did suffici­ently appear that there was come even [Page 155]as a new life in his soul, and that the love of God and of his glory, of Christ and of his Kingdom, of the Church and all his Elect did more then ever burn in his heart, and cau­sed there more lively and more hea­venly flames to arise. He like­wise did by letters to many shew the sense of thankfulness, wherewith he did a new bind himself to God and to his service, at the same time when he by an inward and upright humili­ty did count himself unworthy to be again employed thereto by Gods Spi­rit and his holy Providence. Of all those letters which he did write about this, and whereof we could find co­pys I shall relate but two, which shew the spirit wherewith he was wholly possessed. The one was to Mr. Bardewisch and his wife who, ac­cording to the tender love which they had for him, did greatly partake with him in his state, and in the danger wherein he had been: And the other to my mother in which he utte­reth divers moving and pure feelings, which without doubt will be desired [Page 156]to be seen. The first was of the 23. of February of the year 1680 last past in these words.

‘My worthy Brother and my wor­thy Sister, you have been sad and comforted for me, God having been pleased to make you partakers with me in all whatsoever it hath pleased him to send to me, and it is fit that I should shew you how that I have not been unsensible of your love, and that whilst I thank you in his love, I doe likewise invite you to praise him with me. It would be little if we should but partake of that which mutually doth concern us, if we did not yet more narrowly partake in giving thanks for the same to him, who sending to those that are his all things for good, will also be praised and thanked for the same by them all. I am to small and to weak, to be able to acknowledge as is fit the least of his benefits, which he hath shewed to me in this his last visitation; but however I will praise him for it by his grace a [...]l the days of my life. And join your [Page 157]selves to me, if you please, to pay to him with me this holy duty. It is indeed best for those to whom God hath manifested himself in his grace, to depart out of this life as changing house, for to be with Christ, who is given to them for a Saviour and Head, but in the order of those benefits, which he be­stoweth upon those that are his in this warfare, he is willing that we should thankfully acknowledge all the help which he giveth in those divers states wherein it pleaseth him to place us: especially when they are accompanied with the de­monstrations of his love, to make himself sensible to our souls, and to cause even all what he hath sent to us, to turn to such a great good as is that of our greater sanctification and communion with Christ. I hope of his mercy that he will cause me to draw some such fruit out of all that which is past. I doe ex­pect all from that love which I have oftentimes found and felt to be infi­nite; and likewise I am very wil­ling [Page 158]to witness it, that giving ou [...]selves over to this divine love, more then at any time, which in all things without exception of any watcheth over us, we likewise all may experi­mentally know that it is high, deep, and truly infinite. He by hi [...] Grace hath granted me to be prepa­red to go to him for ever, to long for him as for my God to whom I have consecrated my self; but he hath yet been pleased to deferr the accomplishment of his mercy to my soul, and yet would make me to find that the same was very great in all what he hath done for me. But what shall I say? In all what he doth, whether he doth it or doth it not, he is always good, and knoweth how to make himself to be felt and found that he is infinitely lovely. Praise him with me for this my worthy brother and sister, and for as much as you likewise in your own persons have tryed his faithfull care for you, let us all say one with an other in a lively sense of what he is, that his loving-kind­ness [Page 159]is great, and continueth for e­ver. His holy Name be blessed for all things. Let Jesus be very much beloved, and praised by the souls of us all; and that good Spirit of God, which hath vouch­safed to take us under his conduct, and who doth strengthen us, com­fort us, and raiseth us up again, and causeth us to rejoyce in that steadfast hope that once we shall see him, he also be blessed and adored for evermore. It hath pleased the Lord wholly to close up that which was remaining of my wound, so that nothing else is re­maining, but that I faithfully thank him for all what he hath done, and that I keep my self busy in his love, to make that holy use which I ought to make of that life which he hath as newly given to me again. But he will also grant me this grace, besides all those others that I have need of, that I may ful­fill the offering of my self which I have made to him for ever. It is good to live for him, and yet bet­ter [Page 160]to die in him, to enjoy with him his eternall life. Our worthy Sister Huyghens hath made us clearly to see, that which his Spirit giveth us to beleeve. We doe like­wise taste it, and have triall of it, so much as the Lord pleaseth to give us; but she hath caused us at leisure to see that grace which God bestoweth upon those that are his, and to heare, taste, and feel it. And he doth undoubtedly give us such appearances of his faithfull and mighty love, that our hearts may enlarge themselves in him, and that by a more full yeelding of our selves over into his hands, he may more possess us. Worthy Brother and Sister, let him there­fore more then before at any time be our King and only Possessor. Let us live to him, and not live but for him, through Jesus Christ our Lord.’

The letter which he did write to France to my mother is nothing less edifying: and for as much as the Lord for divers years in his love hath [Page 161] [...]xcercised her with great pains of the [...]gout, which causeth to her much suf­fering, and keepeth her for the most part as bound to her chair or bedd, [...]o he gives her witness of the good­ness of the way of suffering and of [...]he cross which God layeth upon his Children: and uttering to her what [...]e hath found thereof in those that are his, he encourageth her to conti­nue to suffer before God in the Spi­rit & love of Christ, which doth de­light himself in his suffering mem­bers on earth. These are the words of his letter. ‘God at present gi­ves me an opportunity which obli­geth me, Mistris and much ho­noured Sister, to give you thanks for the remembrance which you have had of me, and the share which you have taken in that state in which it hath pleased him to place me, and now by his good hand to help me again out of it. He was willing to cause me to feel his Divine goodness, in that way which he hath kept about me: and what have I to say, when he is wil­ling [Page 162]to cause a sinner to taste th [...] sweetness of his love who is as littl [...] worthy of the chastisement of hi [...] love, as the consolation thereof His hand hath for a little while cas [...] me down, and it doth likewis [...] raise me up again, and in such [...] manner as that his almighty lov [...] can be discerned therein. H [...] him self hath so softly and lovely supported me, that I must prais [...] him for it for evermore, and neve [...] think on it without powring forth tears of love and thankfulness. H [...] likewise was pleased to streng then me through his great love▪ which he hath powred forth into the hearts of his Children in this hi [...] Church, and into those of divers o­thers, who not being there accor­ding to the body, yet have thei [...] hearts much there, amongst whic [...] I see you to be one, my much be loved Sister, and I thank you th [...] you was pleased to be mindfull [...] me. The Lord hath made use [...] your Sonn, my worthy & faithfu [...] Brother, to give you knowledg [...] [Page 163]of my state, but I receive the testi­mony of your love as descending yet from a higher originall, then from that sensible mean which hath given occasion thereunto. I look upon it as coming from him who is Love it self, and he who whilst he maketh himself to be loved for himself sake, doth also incline the hearts of those whom he posses­seth to all those that are in his love. Now he hath loved us in his infinite mercy, and he maketh me to love him through his love, and to desire to love him more, yea with all that wherewith I shall at any time be able to love him. This then is enough for to kindle in our hearts an holy fire which never shall be quenched. In this sense I consider your love, and thank you for the same in him who gives to the see­lings of affections & thankfullness which come from his Spirit all their praise and worth. I have long kept as hidden in my heart, divers feelings of love and holy esteem of that grace which God hath besto­wed [Page 164]upon you. But he makes m [...] to publish or at the least to disco­ver, that which in some measure hath been as covered: for which I thank him, being heartily glad with a holy gladness that I have occasion to tell you before you [...] death or before mine, that I am sensible of the work of his Grace in you with much tenderness and that it is so dear and acceptabl [...] to me as if it was of mine own mo­ther: I would hereof give you up­right tokens, if the Lord would be pleased to give me there unto op­portunity. He hath made you to be one of his beloved Children▪ and besides, mother of a sonn whom in his grace he hath given to me to be my elder Brother, although ac­cording to nature I am older the [...] he. And the benefit which therein the Lord hath done to me is so pre­cious, that I put it amongst the most speciall ones, wherewith hi [...] mercy hath favoured me. Like­wise I can tell you that he is more worthy to me then I can ex-press, [Page 165]and his love is to me more then the love of all others. The Lord did cause that as soon as we saw and knew one the other, that we did love one the other so, as that we have left all former friendship. But the grace of God, and his cal­ling towards us, his counsell and holy service, hath since united our hearts in such a manner, that nei­ther death nor any other thing shall ever be able to violate this union: contrarily it shall encrease, so much as we shall make progress to­wards him, wo is the great and e­ternall foundation of the love of his Saints. As to what remaineth Mrs. I can not forbear to tell you that I am sensible of that state wherein the Lord hath been plea­sed to put you, he hath taught me by some experience to be sensible of the trials of those whom he doth somwhat particularly visit; and I pray to him in the same sense of my heart, which I have had some­times upon my sick bed that he will give you ease & strength. He will [Page 166]undoubtedly do it, and you will have experience of it, and find it to the glory of his Name, feeling more then ever that it is good to relye upon the Lord, and upon his faithfullness; which never fai­les when there is occasion for it▪ He doth not visit you (as you know very well & his good Spirit hath taugt you) but that he may make you more conformable to him▪ And is it not a great good, to carry some lineaments of God, who was crucified for the love which he hath had for some of his creatures? You are of the number of those for whom he gave his soul, and spil [...] his blood. He will marke you herewith by that suffering which he sends to you, that by his own token you may not only be ac­knowledged for one of his, bu [...] that also his love may yet more ap­pear upon you. Rejoice therefore▪ Mistris and my very worthy Sis­ter, in this love, with which no­thing is to be compared. God will exalt you to the cross of Christ [...] [Page 167]but afterwards he will cause you to climme up to himself, and esta­blish you in his House in his joy & eternall Glory. Our warfare will not continue long, and we see by Faith not only the end of our race, but we see him also who stands at the end, and who is all our joy. He hath his delight to see us to walk in his ways inanimated with his love. Our warfare is not concea­led from him. He seeth & feels it himself more then we, and his bo­som is opened to receive us for ever therein. I wish you from hence­forth the divine sweetness and strength thereof, praying to him, with my whole heart, that he may perfect in you the works of his Grace to the eternall glory of his Sonn.’

The Lord having thus comforted [...]s the second time, by granting us [...]gain his faithfull Servant, & thereby [...]iving us such speciall matter to [...]ejoyce for his goodness, & to praise [...]is might and his love that doth all [...]hings well; did find good for the [Page 168]third time to put us in the sam [...] triall, by which at the last it ple [...] ­sed him to take to himself th [...] humble, patient and complying soul whom he by so many way had prepared to go and behold him in the blessed day of eternity and glo­ry. Although we had cause to be­leeve, that his evill was perfectly c [...] ­red, yet however it ceased not to ap­pear again, by the falling down [...] the self same sharp humors which h [...] caused the first. Which a new obl [...] ­ged us to offer up our selves and ou [...] worthy Brother, into the soveraig [...] hands of our God, who made it mo [...] apparent to us that there was but li [...] ­tle means to cure this evill by ou [...] ­ward remedys or by cutting and co [...] ­rosifs. And because at that time the [...] acquainted us, that there were tw [...] persons at Amsterdam, which coul [...] cure the very canker it self by ano­ther way, we did beleeve, after tha [...] we had taken some assurance ther [...] ­of, that it might not be amis tha [...] our Brother should go to Amster­dam, before the evill should com­further [Page 169]to see if the Lord would be pleased thereby to prevent those sad consequences, which this disease at the last might produce. My wor­thy Brother having speciall inclinati­on thereunto, went again to Ams­terdam, lodging with the same friends of ours, which received him with a new tenderness of heart, and have shewed him a very faithfull and tenderly affected love.

Being there, after that he had heard some Doctors about his state, he was inclined to try the remedys of a person which promised that thereby he would go to the very ground and root of the evill, and hoped to take it quite away. In the beginning there seemed to be some expectation of it the sore affording matter, and see­ming to take the course of ordinary wounds. But the cure continuing and our worthy Brother suffering, and growing weak by the torments, we had new cause to offer him up to God, that he should do with him according to his adorable pleasure, perceiving well, that if the Lord [Page 170]should not give some change, he would come to leave us at the last, either by the encrease of the evill, or else by his weakness which such remedys might cause. He knowing how tenderly affected we were with the Lords trying of him, and fearing that it might go to near to our hearts▪ he wrote to me these words with strength of spirit and heart, whe [...] yet he was very bad: ‘I pray yo [...] my worthy Brother, and with you all our Brethren and Sisters, tha [...] you will not be cast down becaus [...] of my condition: and even as I a [...] lively affected with this that you [...] hearts keep themselves continuall [...] before the Lord for my sake, so pray you likewise that you prai [...] and thank him in the joy of h [...] good Spirit, who is able to give [...] a thousand reasons to glorify him.’

About the same time he wrote a le [...] ­ter to one of our sisters, who then w [...] at Utrecht, these words: ‘You wis [...] my very worthy Sister, as you [...] testify in your letter, that t [...] Lord may keep me longer yet [...] [Page 171]this life. But do you think that I can be to you yet a help and comfort in any thing? If it be so, then I wish it with you: for if it pleaseth God; I am willing to do for his Elect and Children all what he shall inable me to do for them; but if not, what should we else wish but to go out of this world, that we may be with him? let us look upon the things as they are, and so as the light of his divine word doth shew them to us, and then let us judge whether there is any thing reall but this, which must make us to love life. I had some lively feeling yesterday that it is a very lovely thing to prepare one self to go unto God, and that the word whereby a soul may speak to it self on this occasion, is very comfortable, saying with herself, The time approacheth come, let us arise, let us go unto him who hath loved us from all eternity, and who hath also granted us to love him for ever, and to give our [...]lves wholly unto him. God in his will and good pleasure, must be [Page 172]our All here on earth, and in him­self our All eternally above. The Spirit, which he hath given to us worthy Sister, as likewise to his o­ther Children in all ages, tellet [...] us this, and maketh us so to feel i [...] in the innermost parts of our hearts, although one doth not all ways receive sensibly the vertu [...] thereof.’

The person at Amsterdam wh [...] had my worthy Brother in hand and who had pretended that h [...] would work with no other remedy but inward, to drive the evill, a [...] he said, to the outward parts, di [...] afterwards beleeve that he wa [...] bound to cut of the excrescencys, seeing that it continued to long ear it fe [...] away of it self. Which together wit [...] the use of sharp corrosives did cau [...] to my worthy Brother very sensibl [...] smart, and likewise took much [...] way the hope that this man shoul [...] bring it to a perfect cure. Likewi [...] the Lord did evidently shew that b [...] would not use his service to this end Persons that have an affection for us [Page 173]and who shewed themselves to be ve­ry sensible of the state of our worthy Brother, spake to us of a french Chy­rurgent, in the Hague, which was re­nowned for having a great secret to cure such kind of maladys. I did write concerning it to my Brother [...]o acquaint him of what was pro­pounded to us: and he receiving at the same time letters in which he was ve­ry urgently desired to put himself in­to the hands of that Chyrurgent. We began to give heed to it, although as my worthy Brother did write to me, [...]e had trouble to pass through so ma­ny hands.

But there was then no more to be expected from him who had him in care, whose remedys were the appa­rent [...] cause of so many very painfull accidents after which followed great weakness, and a cough which conti­nued with him untill the Lord did deliver him from all suffering, and translated him into his Kingdom. Being in this state he wrote to me with much feeling: ‘My soul doth praise the Lord, and my heart doth [Page 174]adore him in all things with love and reverence. He is great and is good. I give my self to him and to his eternall good-pleasure. My present condition seemeth to be ve­ry farr from any ecovery, for my strength is almost spent. My bo­dy is as broken, and my accidential in a state much wors then before for it hath been growing downwar [...] for some time. But the Lord is a [...] the end of all, and above all, and hi [...] holy will shall be my strength▪ my life and my All for evermore’ After that he further witnessed thi [...] disposition in which his soul was with these words: ‘I will tell you m [...] worthy Brother, that the Lord a [...] present giveth me but this one sens [...] and mind, which is to leave my sel [...] wholly to him, to follow him i [...] that which he shall require of me whether in suffering or in dying and in that manner as he shall thin [...] fit: and that in this sens I have only to follow that which he shall she [...] to be his pleasure. Me thinketh b [...] hath done all things thus farr t [...] [Page 175]bring me to this mind, and to make me to rest therein. And he granteth me likewise so to do by his grace; and if it pleased him to do somthing more, even as I will neither limite his goodness nor his power therein, this would be som­thing extraordinary and above the expectation which at present he gi­veth me.’

For as much as his evill did visibly grow worse, and no time was to be lost if he was yet to pass over into o­ther hands, so the French Chyrurgent, whereof I have spoken, came to him the second time to see him at Amster­dam, and having given more con­tentment then at first, so my worthy Brother consented to the importunate entreaty which was made to him, that he should put himself under his cure; and the frost coming in, and not suffering a longer delay he went in a barge to the Hague, there to ex­pect what should be the Lords last will about him. My worthy Bro­ther did then write unto me: ‘If this is the way by which the Lord [Page 176]will lead me to death, it will like­wise be the way to go to him for whom I long: and I am very sen­sible through his grace that this would be the full measure of his mercy towards me, and the ac­complishment of the desires which the Lord through his good Spirit hath put in the bottom of my heart. Fare well my very worthy Brother whom I do embrace with my whole heart, and with you all our wor­thy Brethren and Sisters, and the called of the Lord, to whom I wish all blessing and increase of grace, even as likewise all the children, whom I do all embrace in this Spirit without exception.’ The Lord made us then in a spe­ciall manner to humble our selves before him filling us with that sense which was expressed in the words of Christ in the garden Gethse­mane: Father, if it be possible let this cup pass by: if not thy will be done: a­bout which we did discours the se­cond time when we were assembled, submitting our selves with the heart [Page 177]to what his hand should find good to do with our worthy Brother, whom we gave up to him, and put him anew into his hands. Hereupon as weak as he was he wrote to me these words: ‘Having understood that the Lord hath inclined your hearts to humble your selves be­fore him for my sake, who am a fit subject for it, so I have felt almost the same of that which God hath caused you to experience about his grace and divine presence: and following the steps of the same Spi­rit I find my self in a reall and more then ordinary disposition, to lay my self down with his Church, and in some measure more then she at his divine feet. Both the words concerning which you have spoken, have touched me very much, & the last words of the Lord Jesus, are some times those whereby my heart goeth to God his Father and to him. The Lord who by his H. Spirit hath moved your hearts thus to hum­ble your selves, will also be pleased with the smell of your prayers for [Page 178]his Sons sake. I pray to him and thank him with all my heart, that whilst he keepeth me in a very simple frame, and as one of his creatures, which such as it is hath gi­ven it self over into his hands. He giveth me a very reall sense of his presence, and I can not but expect all things from his infinite good­ness, whatsoever it shall please him to do.’ A little while after I did write unto him that his wife our worthy Sister was in extraordinary weakness, whom the Lord with him did cause to draw near to her dissolu­tion, even as we have seen in that writing which containeth her last words and dispositions, and about this he wrote to me these words: ‘I had not expected that which you have written to me concerning the weakness of my Sister. It hath ve­ry sensibly touched my heart. But the Lord having made me to behold it in him, it gave me presently to adore him, and to give all over to him in that spirit which the knowledge and love of him doe re­quire [Page 179]of us. And in that as in ma­ny other things, he hath made me to find, that through his grace to­wards us he is indeed all to us; and that in the ground we are nothing, nor will any thing, but in and for him. I know not whether he hath fullfilled his will whereof he hath given much likely hood. If it hath pleased him so to do it is without giving me as yet any particular feeling thereof. yet I do not stay there. And through his goodness I do adore, praise, and thank him, that his mercy towards his daughter and handmaid should be accomplished, to his glory and our common con­solation, and in the good savour of the grace of the Lord Jesus. I have loved her, and yet do love her if she be yet a mongst us, with a love more tender and worthy of God then I ever did before. But if God of his infinite love hath made her to put of all remainders of mortality and imperfection, taking her to him self, then I feel that I love her whol­with [Page 180]with an other love, and such as a­greeth with that state wherein she should be. In the mean while, un­till we understand more particular­ly the way of God towards her, we shall endeavour to continue in the spirit of compliance, adoration, and embracing of every will of God both towards her and towards us all.’ In the following letter I ac­quainted my worthy Brother that God in his love had taken her to him self, with so much edification & com­fort as the Lord did it. And he wrote unto me the affections of his heart in these words: ‘I have properly nothing to do but to praise and thank God, about that which he hath been pleased to do in my wor­thy wife, whom he was pleased to take to him self. So much as his Spirit and providence hath made me to be near related to her, so much doth the same Spirit oblige me through his grace towards her to praise him, to acknowledge his work, to comply with it, and to love it with all my heart. and I [Page 181]likewise thank the same good and faithfull Spirit, that it may please him to work this in me. The work of God is good and beautifull, and I see nothing in it but what must make it all the remaining part of my life precious, lovely and com­fortable. The Lord hath enlarged the ground of his Spirit in his hand­maid, at the least in some measure. For I know and feel even as God many times by his Spirit hath made me to see, that there were yet ma­ny other propertys of his grace and strength wholly lovely in her, ac­cording as he giveth them particu­larly to certain simple and inno­cent souls. But he hath caused his mercy towards her, and the divine fruitfullness and vertue which is in those who have well received his Spirit, to appeare so much, that I have nothing but to praise the Lord for what be hath done. He doth not suffer me to have an other mind about it, and although there is something sensible which transient­ly doth present it self to me, upon [Page 182]the remembrance that she is n [...] more with us according to the flesh [...] yet the truth, and even that sen [...] according to the Spirit, and of th [...] state wherein the Lord hath ta­ken her away, as likewise of tha [...] wherein he hath put her, do [...] truly swallow up all. And by th [...] grace of the Lord I love it with a [...] my heart, that I can not see her n [...] possess her but in him. The goo [...] favour which it pleased her heaven­ly Bride-groom to powre for [...] coming to take her to him, an [...] which hath spread forth it self on a [...] your hearts, and will remain the [...] as long as her memory shall be pr [...] ­sent with us, this is yet a specia [...] matter of joy to me. She was n [...] for making much noice about a [...] thing. All was as shut up in her si [...] ­plicity, innocency, and p [...] faith. But God had pleasure [...] cause the spikenard and sweet sm [...] ­ling spices that were hidden in [...] soul, to give some savour. N [...] ­ther do I wonder at it, that [...] your hearts have been tender [...] [Page 183]wards her, for God had given her a love to his work and Church a­mongst us, which was something speciall, and had a respect to the holy Body of Jesus, to the which I did oftentimes perceive that she had a singular and holy inclination. I can not forbear to acknowledge, yea and witness the lively sense which I have of the love which you, and divers brethren and sisters in a speciall manner, and the whole Church in generall have shewed to her.’ In an other letter he did yet a­gain utter to me what in success of time did touch him about this matter, in these words: ‘I continue by the goodness of the Lord to feel the great good which he hath done to his handmaid and daughter, and whereof it hath pleased him to cause something to issue down upon us, but especially upon me: which ob­ligeth me all my life-time to praise and thank him as in a speciall sense of the spirit. The good things and benefits of God are not transitory or fading away, even as those of [Page 184]the world which are [...]othing but vanity & changeableness, where­as those that are his do remain as him self remaineth. And although the sense thereof is not always one and the same, yet their truth is so reall and efficacious, that they do never present themselves to the soul, who is wont to feel them, without leaving in her always a lively and divine impression. I hope that the Lord will make my worthy Sister always in some sort present to me, according to this holy truth in his grace and glory. I leave her gladly and heartily in the bosom of her true and eternall Bride-groom in which she resteth, possessing him and being possessed of him. It is enough to me, if the Lord shall be pleased, that I may be able to behold him in her by his Spirit, from time to time, and her in him, according to that un­speakable unity, which maketh them perfect, in one. The good­ness of God towards her is likewise a speciall reason to me for to ac­knowledge [Page 185]his faithfulness, and how one hath but to wait upon him and to leave one self to him, to try his infinite favour. What concer­neth the little one, which he was pleased to preserve and at present maketh it weaker, that I do likewise offer up to his infinite mercy, and to Jesus Christ, who hath said that they should bring little children to him. All is his and for him; why should we be willing to keep one moment that which he sheweth to be willing to take? His holy will be done in all things.’ Before she pas­sed over into the eternall bosom of [...]e Lord, my worthy Brother had [...]ritten to her divers and very edify­ [...]ng letters, and which were full of a [...]ery tender and pure love. In one [...]e uttereth his heart about her in these words: ‘Your consolation goeth to my heart, and with as much tenderness as you can desire. I am very sensible of your hearty love. And the Lord maketh me to answere it with the like or perhaps with a greater love. I beseech you [Page 186]that you always doe heartily rest o [...] the Lord, who is good and friend­ly to us, and who through his grea [...] love hath powred out of his lov [...] with his Spirit into our hearts. Bu [...] you know that this love is neithe [...] weak nor encumbred, and as i [...] cometh from God, cleaveth t [...] him, and leadeth to him, so [...] maketh us to rely on him, an [...] to trust him with all things. D [...] it therefore, I pray you, in respect [...] me, as of all other things. As fo [...] me, I am sometimes so lively to [...] ­ched therewith, that I say with m [...] self, the Lord leaveth us but o [...] holy care, which is to amend o [...] faults and to praise him for his ho [...] goodness. I pray him that he ma [...] be pleased to make you faithfu [...] to his holy and tender love. [...] much busy with him, admire h [...] goodness and faithfull care, prai [...] him for it in your heart, be dilige [...] to please him, put your self ofte [...] times in his presence, do that [...] which he calleth you; and you w [...] find that he will fill you with [...] [Page 187]goodness.’ And because she took very sensibly part with him in his state, he wrote to her some time be­fore: ‘I pray you let us keep our spirits and hearts united with the Lord and his will. Let us suffer him to rule: for his Kingdom is nothing but righteousness and love. Let ufeel & acknowledge it before him, and pray him, that he will but grant that we may glorify him. He will do every thing well both with you and the little one, for he takes care for all things. We have but to leave all things to him, and to loose our selves in his hands with love.’ These were the affections therewith those holy souls were full before their happy decease, which hath united them again in God to all eternity. The Lord afterwards gi­ving our worthy Brother some ease in respect of his sore and smart, and leading our Sister Magdalene (whose last words have been seen already) to her end, he wrote to me very sen­sibly, and with the spirit of deep humility which was so proper to him: [Page 188] ‘When I do receive any ease from the Lord, I feel that I owe it as to the continuall groans and prayer [...] of his Children, whom he doth vouchsafe to hear. And so you may beleeve, that all what his Spi­rit doth work in them in respect o [...] me, is for my speciall comfort, and gives me matter to praise and thank him, that he hath powred out into your and their hearts such a tender, continuall and strong love towards me. His love through his good­ness doth not withdraw it self from me, and he gives me more then e­ver a desire, that if it be his will that being delivered from all re­mainders of imperfection and sinn, I may speedily go and give him the honour and glory which I owe him. But we must wait on him, and suf­fer him to fullfill his holy Coun­sell, according to which all thing [...] that relate to us in this life will end. He bindes and looseth us according to his good pleasure. He is tha [...] Lord and Master who is wholly good and Allmighty; and I am hi [...] [Page 189]poor and low creature, and I will say, that I am as that Asses colt which our Lord did use in his glori­ous inrode into Jerusalem. That which you write concerning our Sister Magdalene is very stirring and comfortable, and I doubt not but it is to you a speciall matter of joy and holy comfort. The Lord perhaps will take divers of his Chil­dren to himself. O what great good is that for them and for us! All is prepared for nothing else but him. All must wait for him, and truly our joy must be that he taketh then this, then an other, without having any thing to encumber our selves with. Greet her heartily my worthy Brother, and according to that spirit in which two persons, who do go from the same ground to one and the same end, and to which they both must come, can greet one the other. The Lord Jesus, who hath always been so good to her, although she hath not always sufficiently ac­knowledged it, bless her; and fil­ling her with the Spirit of his grace [Page 190]grant that from the heart she ma [...] extend her self to his glory.’ Whe [...] the Lord in his love had taken thi [...] Sister to himself, then he wrote t [...] me about it, and with respect to ou [...] brother her husband, that whic [...] touched his heart, ‘Feeling; my ve­ry worthy Brother, a little strengt [...] to write, I was not willing to defer [...] it. The comfort to be able in som [...] measure to answere your love an [...] that of the whole Church, doth g [...] to near to my heart, then that [...] should neglect it. The work o [...] grace and of glory, which th [...] Lord hath accomplished in ou [...] blessed Sister Magdalene, hat [...] touched us much, but especiall [...] me, as who by his goodness do now something near by feel wha [...] great good it is to approach near to him, never to be separated from him any more. God seemeth to be wil­ling to comfort us all, causing u [...] to feel that such a good is as above all good, and that our souls must rejoyce at it, and in the spirit must meet him, as through a new [Page 191]attraction of love. I do thus feel it something, and doubt not but that the Lord doth give almost the same feeling especially to our worthy brother J. S., being accustomed in a speciall manner to possess the place of al whatsoever he taketh away from those of whom he see­meth to take away any thing. I desire you to greet him in my be­half, and to embrace him hearti­ly, praying the Lord that he will bless the chlidren with a new bles­sing.’

Concerning the state of my wor­ [...]hy Brother in respect of his greef, [...]aving had sufficient proofs of the re­ [...]edys of the french Chyrurgent, and [...]aving suffered much of him, he [...]ound himself obliged to be dischar­ [...]ed from him; seeing by experience [...]hat their effect did not answere his [...]ords or promises. And Doctor Helvetius, who had directed the [...]irst cure of his malady, dwelling [...]ot farr from the Hague, was desired [...]o take the care thereof again with the Chyrurgent Bekestein. Both have [Page 192]done it to the end with much [...] ­fection and speciall application, [...] ­ving a tender feeling of his state a [...] manyfold sufferings. About t [...] same time he thus wrote to me co [...] ­cerning his state: ‘My worthy Br [...] ­ther, it is a great comfort to [...] that I can yet from time to ti [...] write a word to you. My wea [...] ­ness doth not suffer me to do th [...] which my heart and hand wou [...] gladly do, and we must leave th [...] little comfort, even as all other [...] to him allone who governeth a [...] disposeth all things, even to t [...] least, so as it seemeth him goo [...] The state in which it pleaseth hi [...] to leave me, doth yet continue [...] in that hope, to which there is al [...] much likelyhood, that he hath [...] ­pened to me the way, whereby [...] shall go to him. His name be ble [...] ­sed for it for evermore. It is tr [...] that some times I yet hope, even [...] I do much wish, that his hand wi [...] yet bring me amongst you, an [...] grant me there to finish my lif [...] and to perfect the offering of m [...] [Page 193]self which I make to him, and of the rest of my days, and of my e­ternity. But I leave this to him, as all other things.’ In an other let­ter he wrote to me in these words: ‘What concerneth me, my worthy Brother, it pleaseth my good Fa­ther and Lord to keep me always as in his air, depending on his will and being ready to the same. And for as much as it pleaseth him thus to support me by his good Spirit, I praise and thank him for the state wherein he keepeth me, which cau­sing me to continue in him to be ready for his will, doth cause me to tast very much the sweetness of his love. I am sometimes a lit­tle better, and sometimes again worse according to the body, but always very weak, and de­caying as to the outward, yet my strength not wholly failing me. [...] [...]ometimes I admire at my self. [...] greef through the goodness of God doth not grow, his hand put­ting bounds to it, to keep it in, without healing of it. So that at the [Page 194]same time when I yeeld my self to the Lord to go to him from this place, if it be his will; it is also my great desire to give up my ghost in the communion of his Children and amongst you; and sometimes he giveth some hopes that he will do it. Therefore we thought that if our Brother van D. after the frost should be able to come over to help us, that should be pleasing to me. But if you should have need of him there, or that it might continue to long, or that he should put himself in any danger in coming over, [...] should not desire that the House o [...] the Lord should be disappointed o [...] the help of his love.’

And because as I was especially o [...] this opinion that we should not see our worthy Brother any more in thi [...] life, I found my self disposed to signi­fy to him the dispositions of my hear [...] and of those of my worthy Brethren and Sisters concerning him. Which I did in my letter whereof I will her [...] relate a part, ‘My very worthy an [...] beloved Brother, it seemeth to me▪ [Page 195]that God calleth and presseth us to bid you as the last fare-well, and to signify what we should say to you, if we stood about your bed, and you were compassed about with all his Children, where with he hath intimately united you. We do it then, my worthy Brother, in case we may not have that holy com­fort, as to see you again in this life. You go to our God and to your God. You pass over to the bosom of our common Father. You approach to the dwelling-place of his glory, and you will shortly see Jesus glorified. Go, my worthy Brother, follow the Lamb which leadeth you to him, and who having brought you to him, will for ever keep you with him. We follow you in Spirit with heart and affection, The eja­culations of our love do accompa­ny you; and even as we do very lively feel your departure, so like­wise we thank our great Redeemer for the redemption which he will give you from all what you might [Page 196]yet endure. We do likewise very sensibly take part of that unspea­kable happiness to which Jesus ou [...] faithfull Saviour shall for ever re­ceive you. He hath loved you▪ He hath given you to love him, and he will crowne his love in you▪ He is our God, our King, and ou [...] All. Let him eternally rule over us. Let him fill us, possess us, and do with us according to his Divine pleasure. You shall behold the King in his glory. You shall be­hold him in the great day of his tri­umph, and seeing him you shall be satisfyed with all good. All your pains shall cease with him, and you shall do nothing but praise and thank him with all his Saints, whom he hath received into his happiness, for his unspeakable grace, and for the glory where in he shall have placed you in that happy eternity. I tell you the heart of all our very worthy Bre­thren and Sisters: but I tell you, my very worthy Brother, especi­ally mine. God, who hath made [Page 197]us one in him by such an inward & narrow bond, will keep us for e­ver united together in his eternall love, and according to his good pleasure will grant us once that we shall rest together in his bosom. I embrace you, & leave & give you to him, who is and will be to you and us all what ever he shall will or do. For all what he doth it is good, and glorious to his name, & whole­some and saving to his Children.’

When I had written this letter to him, and one of our Sisters, who was with him at the Hague, telling him the same evening when he recei­ved it, you could very well go to the Lord my worthy Brother, without coming again to his House: he ans­wered her: ‘This could be; and if the Lord doth it tell my worthy Brethren and Sisters, that I do go to God with all my heart, that I do remain lively convinced of those truths which he hath caused us to profess to his glory, and that I do die contented in the state and place wherein I am, although I have not [Page 198]the comfort of seeing them. I shall die contented, being near by a [...] Moses, and yet being not able to enter.’

God having given him a great love for his Children and sheep, where­of he had made him a Shepherd, he wished very simply that he migh [...] give up his ghost in the midst of us, if it was the will of our heavenly Fa­ther. And likewise on the other side seeing that there was no perfect cure to be expected, he wished that he might have ended here the last mo­ment of his transitory life. He him­self had some times this hope, as he wrote, when the Lord at the last o­pened the water and seemed to give means for his transportation. But it was not but only to bring over his body without life, and separated from his soul, which did rest with Christ Jesus in the happy bosom of his glory, before his body was brought here to rest, in the place where those of the other Children of the Lord were laid: which he inno­cently did signify to be his desire, [Page 199]whilst likewise he left it fully to the Lord to do there with as he should think fit, and to his Children to do what God should put in their hearts, and according as his holy Providence should permit.

The Lord having already caused him to give a great and manyfold witness of his grace and the goodness of his ways towards him, he found good at the end, and whilst my worthy Brother was at the Hague, for the most part to keep him in a state of silence or speaking little, ha­ving gotten a dry cough, and which was very incommodious to him as soon as he spoke, constraining him as wholly to gather himself together within himself before God, and to consume himself in silence and sim­plicity of heart as a lamb upon Gods altar, or as a burning lamp which did breath out all her strength up­ward, to God and to Jesus his King and Saviour. Which did not hinder but that from time to time he con­strained himself to utter, as there was opportunity, that which he felt of [Page 200]God, of his love, and of his holy Mysterys ‘Which, once he said, were so lively and purely printed upon his heart by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, as if they were there writ­ten in great and very legible letters. He added there to, I knew before the same truths by education, and afterwards by study; but all what God doth not imprint by his Spirit is instable, and may be overturned witha shadow.’ Upon an other occasion he said, ‘Humili­ty is a very essentiall grace; it is better then all raptures of the senses.’ He said to one who came to visit him in his great weakness, ‘Our breath indeed is between our lips, and it is the Lord truly that keepeth it there.’ This person speaking to him of the study of Divi­nity in respect of the office of preach­ing, he said unto him very sensibly: ‘There is need of a speciall grace, and afterwards of a calling from God, and then yet God must sup­port under such a burden. For the decay of the Church is much come [Page 201]from thence that men without the Spirit, and those which have not been called thereunto of the Lord, have been brought upon the pulpit. He added to it, It is certain if one doth well consider what this holy office doth require, and God not giving speciall measures of his Spi­rit, that in steed of addicting one­self thereunto, one should rather go and dwell in a wood or a wilder­ness, even as divers holy men have formerly done.’ And there upon he told him something which he had known and practised by his own ex­perience, untill the Lord had obli­ged him to follow and to serve him in the work of the ministery, which he had laid upon him for his Kingdom and for his glory.

That day he spoke something more then ordinarily, but he found him self much wearied in the eve­ning, being taken with a generall cold and much weakness. And as they would give him something for his refreshment and to pass the night the better, he said: ‘Must one do [Page 202]so much for a body that is already half dead, and that which I shal [...] lay down so speedily?’ A little after it seemed as if he was taken with some sleep, but the cough coming upon him and continuing for two hours, did hinder him from sleeping. Yet afterwards being aske [...] how he found himself, he said, Ver [...] well, with a joyfull mind and heart [...] contentment, yeelding him self again to the arms of the Lord, and ex­pecting from him the rest which h [...] should be pleased to give him the remaining part of the night. And th [...] Lord gave him such rest, that h [...] found himself in the morning to b [...] much refreshed.

The next evening composing himself to rest, the cough hindered him from sleeping, even as it did ordinarily; and for as much as they woul [...] stay with him to help him in what h [...] might have need of, he refused it saying: The Lord and I allone, that goet [...] always best. The more one will do t [...] worse it goeth. Yet he coughed tha [...] night very much, almost withou [...] [Page 203]sleeping any thing; and because they were something troubled that he had been left allone, he answered sensi­bly: The Lord being present is not that enough?

The Saturday having wearied him self much, The 15. of F [...]bru. he likewise slept little at night. But he wondered that he found himself not to be more faint for it. Yet finding himself weaker after that he was risen, he said with quietness of mind and inward con­tentment of heart: It will not continue long. These days will shew what the issue will be. And when they did confirm it to him, he shewed himself to re­joyce much at it, saying: O what a good thing is it to see that the Lord is near by? He can come at all hours, and I do also expect him at all times.

On the Sunday he desired that they should write to Mr. Bardewisch and his wife, The 16. to entreat them that they should be pleased to come to see him for the last time, if it could be done without great inconvenience. Fur­thermore he did with much affection admonish a person who was with him [Page 204] To be very faithfull to the Spirit which the Lord had begun to give to her, well to die to herself, to live more then ever in the pre­sence of God, and to give herself as anew again to Jesus Christ and his Work: and further recommending her to write to me the feeling of her heart.

Our Sisters van der Haer asking him whether he had not any thing in particular to tell them, he answered them: ‘I leave you in the hand of God and of his Spirit. You know that it is much our course to leave and recommend souls to God. His Spirit will lead you, and in his time teach you all things. Referr your selves to him, and he will do all things well. Give your­selves more then before to God and his Work, and take my worthy Brother for your Father. The Lord will take care for his Work. He hath no need of me, and he will encrease his grace in others to the enlargement of his Kingdom & glory. Let us leave God to do it, for he will do all well.’ The same evening his Cousin coming to visit [Page 205]him, and shewing himself to be sad to see him in that state, he said to him, It is the state in which the Lord putteth me, to cause me to draw near to him. Likewise I do embrace the same with love. Our life indeed here is transitory, and it is [...]ry just that we should bestow it wholly for him and for his glory. Whereupon he took leave of divers as making him self ready to go from time to eternity, and from the world to God to whom his heart went forth without ceasing.

The next day Doctor Helvetius being come to visit him, The 17. he found him very weak, so that he said per­haps the Lord will shortly make that great change. Whereunto our wor­thy Brother did answere, That it was to him very acceptable news: and fur­thermore talked much with him of that contentment which the Lord gave him, seeing his end to be so near by; for the rest thanking him for his affection and care and exhor­ting him to live the remainder of his days for the Lord. After which he wished to him the blessing of God up­on his person & his family. In the e­vening [Page 206]our worthy brother Mr. Bar [...] dewisch and his wife being com [...] from Amsterdam, their presenc [...] was such a great joy to him, that h [...] seemed as to receive a new life and new strength, because his affection to them was very tender, even a [...] likewise theirs towards him had been very reall and effectuall.

On Tuesday morning he was bet­ter, The 18. and asking what kind of wethe [...] it was, when he heard that it conti­nued to thowe, and that the Zouth­sea was already open, so he informed him self if there was any means, i [...] the Lord should give him more strength, to bring him to Amsterdam that he might go from thence to Fries­land if God thought it fit. And be­ing told that there was, the way from the Hague to Amsterdam being grown very soft by reason of the snow, he rejoyced thereat saying, tha [...] ‘he had yet courage to betake him­self upon the journy if the Lord would, although, said he, I have referred all this to him. I thought not but to remove out of this life; [Page 207]and should the Lord yet be willing to give me that comfort to see my worthy Brethren and Sisters, which in truth would be one of the greatest to me, which I should be able to desire here below? If then the Lord is thus purposed we must fit our selves accordingly, yea and make some hast.’ The Doctor and Chyrurgent found it not unadvised, saying contrarily that the complying with a harmless desire of a sick person many times could cause great alterati­on for good. Against noon it seemed as if he had gotten more strength and even to eate with some appetite The Doctor likewise then took his last leave of him, and our worthy Bro­ther exhorted him again very affecti­onately that he should live for God and his glory, wishing heartily to him the blessing of the Lord. The L [...]dy of Ouwerkerk, who had so continually shewed towards him her tender and carefull love being come to visit him, and the black more that serveth her, asking how it was with him, he let him come in to ask him, [Page 208]whether he had not felt any thing of God in his heart. On which the black more answering, that for some years since he was become a Christi­an, then said he unto him: ‘This is not the thing that I ask you, for if you do not deny the affections of the world & love the Lord Jesus in truth, all your profession of being a Christian will not help you. And it is not Baptism in water that saveth us, nor the profession that maketh a Christian. Those whom God maketh such, he giveth them a heart which in the ground seeketh nothing else but him, and that loveth not the things of this world: and this is it where­of I ask if you have felt any thing.’ Further earnestly admonishing him to pray the Lord that he might be pleased to give him that precious grace.

In the evening being much tired he said: " This is a day of much weary somness, I can not much more. Also it was nine at clock before he could betake himself to rest. After supper [Page 209]all but in their passing by having ta­ken their leave of him, not to trouble him any more, he remained till mid­night sitting up to his bed coughing continually, without being able to put down his head, but he began again to cough more then ordinarily. And for as much as that continued long, & as they saw that he could not be in a condition the next day to go for Am­sterdam if it continued so, he said di­vers times with great heart stirring motion. Let the Lord doe what ever he will, it shall be well. Afterwards ha­ving desired that every one should take their rest, then he laid himself down in simplicity of heart in the [...]rms of God and of his Fatherly bo­ [...]om, and fell a sleep. But the person [...]hat remained about his bed, heard speedily that his sleep was not ordi­ [...]ary but very heavy, where upon one of our Sisters van der Haer arose to [...]ook after him, who found his face much altered; and yet having wa­ [...]ed him, our worthy Brother said [...]nto her, That he found him self reaso­ [...]ably well. I find my self, said he, stron­ger [Page 210]then yesterday: so he was left to slee [...] again. But seeing it was as before, [...] was thought not without reason tha [...] this might likely cause some change [...] Then our worthy Sisters both bein [...] come to him they found his hands t [...] be cold, & sweat to lay upon his face [...] and withall they saw, as soon as the [...] spoke to him, that he was filled wit [...] the sense of the Lords coming near t [...] him, whereby he cried out as bein [...] transported with an unspeakable joy [...] O good & most lovely Jesu, art thou so ne [...] to me, what love, O my Lord, O eterna [...] love, what goodness doest thou not shew to m [...] What infinite mercy doest thou not shew [...] me, O my God, that thou comest so speedi [...] to my soul to receive & take it into thy bosom [...] O beloved eternity! In this going out [...] his heart & spirit he spoke yet dive [...] other the like words, which are no [...] remembred, as also many other [...] which upon divers occasions he hat [...] uttered with great affection of hear [...]

These last in a speciall mann [...] could not be all remembred becau [...] they were employed to give hi [...] what necessary help they could, i [...] [Page 211]this unexpected and extraordinary weakness. One of our Sisters van der Haer telling him, well my Bro­ther you go to our God, and to Jesus Christ our Redeemer, who cometh to take you to himself; he answered with an excellent stirring motion of heart and mind: O what an infinit [...] happiness! And speaking to her, he [...]sked, whether she had given notice of his [...]te, and understanding that she had done it he was well satisfied, and co­ming again to him who possessed his heart, and who did wholly take him to himself, he said with a holy joy, and as in a spirituall exultation: O chat love, lovely Jesu! What a wonder­full love is it not, that he vouchsafeth to take sinners to himself? Being asked whether he was not in anguish, he answered, Not in the least; and our Sisters entreating him to tell them whether he found not any particular unease, he answered, No, but I feel a power of weakness which ceaseth upon m [...] and leadeth me to God. They desired him to take a little cordiall, which was at hand. But he had trouble to [Page 212]take it, desiring to have taken a little beer: But our Sisters telling him that perhaps he would be something strengthened thereby, and be able the better to speak to them he consen­ted to it and took it with simplicity. But because his arm being already grown stiff, he brought his hand higher then his mouth, and had need to have it to be directed. Having ta­ken that which was desired, and be­ing asked whether he yet knew the persons, he answered no. But his heart going out always to Jesus the beloved of his soul, his tongue had yet strength enough to bosom out these words: O infinite goodness! O e­ternall happiness! O what love is it, that Jesus draweth near to us, and at the last receiveth us into his glory! Not being able to proceed, by reason of his weakness that overwhelmed him, and which did cause him to draw near to his full deliverance, and one of our Sisters telling him, that a ravish­ment of love besides a power of weak­ness did take him away to God, he then nodded with his head that it was [Page 213]so, and inforcing himself, he spoke yet these words, Let the Lord do. Where upon stretching himself out, he fell a sleep a little while after, in the arms of the Lord sleeping the sleep of the righteous, entering into that eternall rest which God hath prepared for his favourites, and from that time enjoying that eternall and unchangeable joy, where with the Lord Jesus hath decreed in his unspeakable love to fill all his faith­full servants. And in this simple and pure manner and so full of fee­ling he is gone to God, and into his most blessed and happy bosom: he hath given up his soul to him, in the spirit of this tender and thankfull love; and in that impression of this unspeakable and glorious joy, which is proper to the Children of God and those who go to behold the face of their Father, hath he left the world and all what is here be­low, to be fully and eternally uni­ted with God and Jesus Christ his Lord and Saviour.

I have not purposed to give notice [Page 214]of those graces which God had com­municated to our very worthy an [...] blessed Brother, otherwise then on­ly by propounding that which I hav [...] related concerning him in this de­scription; and I beleeve that thos [...] who shall read it in simplicity, wil [...] there by in some measure perceive [...] what spirit it was where with Go [...] had indowed him, and sufficiently see that light which God had powre [...] out into his soul, the purity whe [...] with he had filled his heart, th [...] strength and patience which he hat [...] shewed so much in all his torments his constant love to the will of God and how he embraced and receive [...] the same in all what happened, hi [...] intimate union with Christ Jesus his tender love for souls, his faith fulness always to bring them again t [...] God, his perfect resignation of tha [...] which with the most ground and th [...] most innocency he did love, th [...] deep humility which was so very [...] ­minent in him, even to the end; th [...] joy where with he is passed throug [...] the vally of the shadow of death unt [...] [Page 215] [...]e eternall day of glory, and lastly [...]e simplicity of spirit and heart, [...]herein he hath finished the last time [...]f his transitory life on earth. God [...]ad before that caused all those other [...]aces and vertues, which were gifts [...]f his precious love to his soul, [...]uch to appear in him; but in the [...]d he would shew them all in a spe­ [...]all manner under this property of a [...]vine simplicity, which is so pure, [...]ssentiall, and lovely, and so un­ [...]own to humane vertue and spirit, [...]hich is nothing else but formall cir­ [...]mstanciall and custom, even then [...]hen he is most naked and empty of be truth of the matter. Likewise all [...]ose, that do well belong unto the [...]ord and who at all times are not [...]ly prepared to go to him, but [...]ikewise do above all things long for [...], these have not so much need to [...]repare them selves for this last hour, [...] is thought, that which is the ful­filling of all their wish and longing [...]nd which they have so many times e­ven as prevented by a lively faith and upright love. Therefore it was that Ja­cob [Page 216]and the other Patriarks, Dav [...] and other Saints, although they liv [...] under an administration which h [...] much of terrour and fear in it, a [...] especially Stephen and the fir [...] Christians, did look upon death [...] it came with so much peace and joy [...] and embraced it with so much simpl [...] city of heart. They fell asleep in [...] ­lence, and without making mu [...] noice, in the arms of God and of J [...] ­sus their Saviour, even as this mo [...] happy soul hath done, who said so [...] ­time before her passage to eternity that she found her self as a sheet of p [...] ­per flying in Gods air, and th [...] was ready to turn it self whitherso­ver the Lord would upon the lea [...] puff of his wind, whether it was [...] live or whether to die or to chang [...] place, leaving it self with joy to h [...] Divine pleasure, to move it an [...] drive it before his eyes as he shoul [...] find it good. The good pleasure [...] the Lord was to translate him for eve [...] into his rest, leaving to us a specia [...] example of Christian suffering and [...] lively instruction how we must carr [...] ­all [Page 217]all sorts of crosses and torments. And yet this was as hidden from this hum­ble and pure soul: so that a certain person coming to visit him, and who seemed to be touched with that Spirit in which she saw him suffering, saying to him one time, you are in­deed to us an example of suffering, [...]he answered her very affectionately indeed an imperfect example. Take that of Jesus Christ which is perfect.

The Lord had bestowed upon my worthy Brother a very speciall grace for the helping of souls, and to lead them in his true ways, which he knew by a lively and speciall experi­ence. And this was that which made him when he spoke of them to speak thereof with so much heart, with so much light, and with so much live­liness, as that it made the truth to enter into the ground of hearts and souls. He was very good and tender about them, and withall he was very faithfull to them, and did proceed to work, as there was need, with a great strength and steadfastness of spirit. His zeall for their true good did burn [Page 218]him inwardly and he took so trul [...] part with every ones state, that i [...] was seen indeed that he suffered wit [...] them that suffered, did humble him­self with sinners, and did rejoyc [...] with those whom God did comfort joyning himself heartily with every one to help him to bear his burden th [...] better. I will say no more of it, and [...] do not say even this little, but only for such as have not known him: fo [...] those which have conversed with hi [...] have no need of it; and the impressio [...] which they have of that which th [...] Lord hath laid in this vessell, is indee [...] much greater then that which I hav [...] here said to the glory of God, shal [...] be able to give to those others.