WEE Sultan Sathan, Great Emperour of Erebus, Barathrum, Averuus, Acheron, Stix, and Phle­geton; King of Gehenna, Cocytus, Dis, Tophet, and Tartarus; Lord of the Infernall Cimmerian Abyss. profundity of the Sulphurous Limbo, Lethe, and the Stigian Lakes, did long since with the advice of our States and Committees Aslembled, for the enlarging of our Kingdomes and Territories, and the amplifying of our greatnesse and renowne, cause these our Commands to be put in speedy Exe­cution.

Whereas our Trusty Agents, Messengers, Scouts, and others our ingenious and vigilant servants, have (by our Instigations and Commands) done us great and acceptable Services in Germany for these 24. yeares, insomuch that that goodly Empire is wa­sted with Wars, Bloudshed, Famine and desolation; and for that the Kingdomes of Great Brittain and Ireland have been these ma­ny yeares in such a happy condition of Peace, plenty, and all other blessings, to the Envy and admiration of all Nations, and to our great griefe and Sorrow; for we could not but with shame and asto­nishment wonder that those Countries and Regions onely enjoy­ed the fruition of Tranquillity, whil'st most of the Nations of the world were fil'd with rapine, mischeife, murther and confusion; so that it was a common speech amongst them (in derision of our pro­found ancient policy and wisedome) to say, The Diuell's an Asse: which abuses and calumnies coming to the eares of our Infernall Hell-hood, we (in vindication of our honour) thought it high time to bestirre our selfe to worke some vengeance on those refractory people, by sowing and dispersing divisions amongst them in their Churches, and Rebellion to their King. For the Government which they kept, both Ecclesiasticall and Civill, was so greivous [Page 2]unto us, that since our first fall from Heaven we had never any thing that tormented us more. In serious consideration of the Pre­misses, we, with the advice of our Trusty Councellours, & Iudges, Namely Caine, Corah, Dathan, Abiram, Pharaoh, Achitophell, Rabshekah, Iudas, Cataline, Sylla, Marius, Nero, Caligula, Domi­tian, Helliogabalus, Minos, Eacus, Radamanthus, Machiavell, Faux, Ravillac, and many of the Turkish, Iewish, Anabaptisticall, Brow­nisticall and Iesuiticall Clergy, we did (3. yeares past) order and ordaine, for the breach of the peace in the aforesaid Kingdoms of great Brittaine and Ireland, these plots, policies and projects fol­lowing.

First, we order that some of our cunningest Divels should be sent by our Authority into those parts, who should take upon them the shapes and habites of sincere religious persons, and insinuate them­selves, first amongst foolish women, and silly Tradesmen, with huge multitudes of the off-scum rabble of the people. These were all to be perswaded to despise, scorne, & contemne the true setled religion amongst them; To deride and hate all order, decency, and Christian conformity either to the Church, Church-Government, or Governours; To demolish and deface all manner of ornaments, or any thing of Laudable memory, either of Patriarkes, Prophets, Apostles, or of our greatest Conquerour and Enemy Jesus Christ. All these things were effectually done according to our command; and for the further encrease of our Kingdom of Darknesse, we have caused our deadly foes (the Orthodox preachers) to be degra­ded, dismist, banished, impoverished, imprisoned, despised, dis­graced, starv'd and murtherd, that spake so boldly and frequently a­gainst us and our adherents. And in their roomes we have placed Hypocrites of our owne moulding and stamping, who do perswade the people vehemently to our service and liking, and most violent­ly against their Soveraigne in Rebellion.

Secondly, we ordered that because the King was our great­est and Inveterate opposite upon Earth, our new pulpit-men should preach nothing but Sedition, contention, and disobedience against him, and that it should be the losse of their places and Liber­ty to speak truth, to mention the Beleife, or Christian Faith, to read the Lords Prayer, or repeat the ten Commandements, to the end they shall forget to beleive in God, or put any confidence in the [Page 3]King: by which two principles or Maximes, there are many thou­sands come to us, which we did not so suddainly expect: for though we seldome speak truth, yet we must acknowledge that those late good Members at Westminster have done us more service in so short a time then all the Rebels (their predecessors, and our deare sonns) have done since the Creation of the world.

We our selfe are endued with much Learning, for we have so much schollarship that we know and understand all the Speeches, Tongues and Languages in the Vniverse and Vniversities; and we must with admiration stand amazed at the Loyalty, Integrity, In­genuity, and policy of those (our trusty Agents) that with such ex­pedition could so soone and so much ruinate their owne Country, and so Eclipse the Protestant Religion (which we most hate) that we could not have devised to have given and granted them a Com­mission that could have so large an extent as they have stretched their politicall power.

We confesse, that though we were the first Rebell, and the most ancient father of Rebellion, we began it in Heaven; for the which we were throwne down to Hell: we practised it on poor Adam & his Consort in Paradise, we have not, nor will not be negligent to infuse it into all their posterity; yet we must acknowledge, that our self and all the rest of you assembled here (our trusty Councellours) neither could, or ever did accomplish so great a service as the do­ing these pleasing mischeifes to the Church and Kingdoms of great Brittaine and Ireland: in which meritorious work they have so far out gone us, and all former precedents, that we must confesse old age hath brought us to dotage; and all the Rebells and Traitors since Time began were but slight witted shallow pated fellows to these our sonnes of England, Scotland, and Jreland, which though we know they cannot continue, and that they must faile and fall in the end, yet (by our inspirations) they will go on; and where they can­not conquer and overcome, they shall attempt to do mischeife.

First, (beyond our capacity or knowledge) the most part of the Members had the subtilty to inforce and affright their Tenants and other people to spend their voyces for them in their election to be Parliament-men. Secondly, many who feared them not, were bribed to come their selves and bring their friends to cry alowd, and make a wicked musicall noise with bawling out the names of Pym, Hasle­rigge, [Page 4]with the rest of our sons, the Members. Thirdly, some were guld, foold, and flatterd to extend their Stentorian voices, not know­ing why, wherefore, or for whom. And the first businesse of these politicians was to worke so, that an act must passe that they might sit, vote, rule, and do what they please as long as they list.

That being enacted, they craftily searched and undermined the opinions and dispositions of all the Members (their bre [...]hren) and as many of them as they found or suspected to be Loyall to the King, or true Protestants, those were droven, expulst, and thrust out of their society, as Malignant persons to the State, and unfit for their company. This being done, they very wittily got all the strength of the Militia into their hands, and withall (by the meanes of our trusty servants their preachers, and our dear villaines the Pam­phleteers) fil'd and possest the people with lyes, feares and jealou­sies against the King, that he would alter Religion, and turne Ty­rant: and these services of theirs were exceeding pleasing to our Gracelesse Majesty.

Then because they would have no King, (or keep him they had brought him so low downe, that he should never rise) they seised on all his Revenues, his Subsidies, Goods, Lands, Moneyes, Jew­els, Townes, Castles, Ammunition, Ordnance, Navy, Parkes, nay his very Children they tooke and doe keep from him; they forced him from them by Tumults, to seek safety. And also they caused his Queen to crosse the dangerous Ocean twice, rather exposing her selfe to the danger of Windes and Seas, then to remaine in ha­zard amongst them. And this service was much delighting to us, and all our damned Subjects.

In these employments (Money beginning to be short) and Ire­land in Rebellion, they devised a most rare project, to sell their Lands that they esteemed as Rebels there, to as many fooles and mad men in London (or any where) as would buy them: of which chapmen they found enow, for large penniworths were afforded; and Coyne came in a pace with avengeance, which was by the Members declared to be for the releife of the oppressed distressed protestants in Ireland; but wondrous wisely they never were re­leived with it: for the said Money was imployed to more necessary and important uses, as in Rebellion against their King, and spoyling of England, the whil'st poore Ireland was left open to Intestine wars and selfe destroying.

That Spungy Project being squeezd dry in the presse of Rebel­lion, the Members having no more invisible Land to sell, and chea­ted fooles would buy no more Castles in the Ayre, or Meddowes in the Clouds; then they made a fine thing (like a Puppet) which they called Publique Faith, which Faith had more tricks then the famous Hocus Pocus, for though it was never seen, felt, heard or understood, yet (by the imposturing Art of Equivocating Legerde­maine) the said Faith did passe with hey passe and repasse, as an universall pawne for Millions of mony to be lent upon it (in the Kings name and Parliaments) to be imployed to destroy the King and Kingdom, and to deceive or begger as many as did put any con­fidence in that unsaving Faith. And now the People doe perceive themselves to be palpable couzened and cheated of their Plate, Mon [...]y, Jewells, and other goods, they not knowing where to find the pawne, (or the Faith that is publiquely engaged for it) the Members having no other way to save their dismemberd Reputa­tions, nor secure themselves from being torne in pieces by the se­duced cheated multitude; then they began to levy. Assessements, and weekly and monthly Contributions, with most heavy insup­portable Taxations; and though they had made the People beleeve things against the King, which he never meant, as that he would raise the Dutch Excise upon them, yet they raised the same Excise themselves more then a yeare before the King did; nor had the King ever done it, but that they began long before him, and shew'd him the way; nor will he hold it longer then they are Rebells, and necessity requires. But the Members have no other meanes left now to pay the said vast Summes againe, but by Robbing, Plunde­ring, and utterly undoing all the Kings true Subjects, (who are our most opposite, hated, and hatefull enemies) that so by Ruinating the good and honest men of their goods, estates and lives, they may pay the Fooles and Knaves such debts as are due unto them upon the empty pawne of the Publique Faith.

And (to our further great contentment) they have devised, and inforc'd upon the People such Covenants of Confusion, such Oaths of Rebellion, and such Protestations of Damnation, that we our selfe, with the advice of you, and all our Infernall old and new Councellors, could never have contrived the like for the enlarging of our greatnesse.

And for our further contentment, our ignorant Sons, Coach-men, Carters, Colliers, Coopers, Cuckolds, Tinkers, and Tub-preachers, have sufficiently abused the Scriptures with thousands of vari­ous Interpretations and Expositions, whereby many heards and droves of our simple single-sould sonnes and daughters have sent their thred-bare wits a wooll gathering, being all most delicately mad in Rebellion against God and the King: yet we must confesse our selfe to be indebted to some of their learned Pastors and Poets, who have good wits and parts in 'em, but (to advance our service) they deliciously, viciously employed them; such as are Cornelius Burgesse, the two Sedgwicks, the poor wicked Case, &c. with our deare sons Mercurius Britannicus, George Wither (the Gull's Dar­ling) and Booker, the Aetheriall Planeteriall learned Preterpluper­fect Asse-trologian, with the rest of our English and Scottish Doves, Scoutes, Scoundrells and Lyurnall-makers; we, (by our incitement and spirit of damnable infusion) set them a worke, nor will we faile to pay them their wages, for we are sure that never any Re­bell or Traitor, or witch or villaine, had cause to complaine against us for non-payment.

Our feare is, that this rare and deare Rebellion will not last and continue as long as we would have it; we doubt the King will prevaile, and then our market is quite spoild: but when all comes to all, and that all comes to nothing, we have provided for our sonnes (the Rebells) that no wordly want or trouble shall molest them, for we intend to send all or many of them sailing by Land in a hanging Voyage.

Thus have we, contrary to our nature and custome, spoken truth [...] but consider it is in private amongst our selves, we would not have it knowne to the People; for then it may perhaps be Printed and published to the hinderance of our Cause, and discouragement of our sonnes the Rebells, to whom we wish encrease of wicked­nesse and malediction Eternall.