A Right Pithy, Pleasant, and Merry COMEDY, ENTITULED, Gammer Gurtons Needle; Played on the Stage near a hundred years ago in Christs-Colledge in CAMBRIDGE.

Made by Mr. S. Master of Art.

LONDON: Printed by Tho. Johnson, and are to be sold by Nath. Brook at the Angel in Cornhil, Francis Kirkman at the John Fletchers Head, on the Back-side of St. Clements, Tho. Johnson at the Golden Key in Pauls-Church-yard, and Henry Marsh at the Princes Arms in Chancery-lane, near Fleet-street, 1661.

The Names of the SPEAKERS i [...] [...] [...]y.

DIccoon th [...] [...]
Hod [...]e, [...]mme [...] [...] servant.
Ty [...], Gam [...]er Gurtons Maid.
Gammer Gurton.
Cock, Gammer Gurtons Boy.
Dame Chat.
Doctor Rat, the Curate.
Mayster Baily.
Doll, Dame Chats Mayd.
Scapethryft, Mayster Bailyes servant.

MUTES.

God save the KING.

The PROLOGUE.

As Gammer Gurton, with many a wide stiche,
Sat pesing and patching of Hodge her mans briche.
By chance or misfortune as she her gear tost,
In Hodge lether briches her nedle she lost.
When Diccon the bedlam had hard by report,
That good Gammer Gurton was rob'd in this sort,
He quietlie perswaded with her in that stound,
Dame Chat her dear gossip this nedle had found.
Yet knew she no more of this matter (alas)
Then knoweth Tom our clarke what the Priest saith at masse.
Hereof there ensued so fearfull a fray,
Mas Doctor was sent for these gossips to stay;
Because he was Curate, and esteemed full wise,
Who found that he sought not by Diccons device,
When all things were tombled and clean out of fassion,
Whether it were by fortune, or some other constellation,
Sodenlie the nedle Hodge found by the pricking,
And drew out of his buttocke where he found it sticking.
Their hearts then at rest with perfect security.
With a pot of good nale they stroak up their plaudity.

The first Act.

The first Scean.

Diccon.
Dic.
MAny a mile have I walked, divers and sundry waies,
And many a good mans house have bin at in my days.
Many a gossips cup in my time have I tasted,
And many a broche spite, have I both turned and basted.
Many a peece of bacon have I had out of their balkes,
In running over the country, with and long wery walkes.
Yet came my foot never, within those door cheekes,
To seek Flesh or Fish, Garlike, Onions or Leekes,
That ever I saw a sort in such a plight,
As here within this house appeareth to my sight,
There is howling and scowling, all cast in a dumpe,
[Page]With whewling and pewling, as though they had lost a trump.
Sighing and sobbing, they weep and they wail.
I marvel in my mind, what the devil they ail,
The old trot sits groning, with alas and alas,
And Lib wrings her hands, and takes on in worse case.
With poor Cocke their boy, they be driven in such fits,
I fear me the folkes be not well in their wits.
Ask them what they ail, or who brought them in this stay?
They answer not at all, but alacke and welaway,
When I saw it booted not, out at doors I hied me,
And caught a slip of Bacon, when I saw that none spied me,
Which I intended not far hence, unles my purpose fail,
Shall serve for a shoinghorn to draw on two pots of ale.

The first Acte.

The second Sceane

Hodge. Diccon.
Hodg
SE so cham arayed with dabling in the durt;
She that set me to ditching, ich wold she had the squrt.
Was never poor soul that such a life had?
Gogs bones this vilthy glay hase drest me too bad,
Gods soul, see how this stuffe tears,
Ich were better to be a Bareward and set to keep Bares.
By the masse here is a gasshe, a shamefull hole indead,
And one stitch tear furder, a man may thrust in his head.
Dic.
By my fathers soul Hodge, if I shuld now besworn,
I cannot chuse but say thy breech is foul betorn.
But the next remedy in such a case and hap,
Is to plaunche on a piece, as brod as thy cap.
Hogd.
Gogs soul man, tis not yet two daies fully ended,
Since my dame Gurton (cham sure) these breches amended
But cham made suth a drudge to trudge at every need,
Chwold rend it though it were stitched what sturdy packhreed
Dic.
Hodge, let thy breeches go, and speak and tell me soon,
What devil aileth gammer gurton, & Lib her maid to frown.
Hodg.
Tush man thart deceived, tis their daily looke,
They cover so over y e coles, their eies be bleard with smooke.
Dic.
Nay by the masse, I perfectly perceived as I came hether.
[Page]That either Tib and her dame hath been by the ears together,
Or els as great a matter as thou shalt shortly see.
Hod.

Now ich beseech our Lord they never better agree.

Dic.
By gogs soul there they sit as still as stones in the street
As though they had been taken with some fairies, or els w t some ill spreet
Hod.
Gogs hart, I durst have laid my cap to a crown,
Chwould learn of some prancome as soon as ich cham to town.
Dic.

Why Hodge art thou inspired? or didst thou thereof here?

Hod.
Nay, but ich saw such a wounder as ich saw not this vii year,
Tome Tankards Cow (he gogs bones) she set me up her sail,
And Hinging about his halfe aker fisking with her tail;
As though there had been in her arse a swarm of Bees,
And chad not cryed tphrowh hoor, shead lept out of his Lees,
Dic.

Why Hodge lies the conning in Tom tankards cowes tail?

Hod.
Well ich chaue hard some say such tokens do not fail,
But cast y u not tell in faith Diccon, why she frowns, or wherat?
Hath no man stoln her Ducks or Hens, or gelded gib her Cat?
Dic.
What devil can I tell man, I cold not have one word,
They gave no more heed to my talke then thou woldst to a lord.
Hod.
Ich cannot still but muse, what mervailous thing it is,
Chill in and know my selfe, what matters are amise,
Dic.
Then fare well hodge a while, since thou doest inward hast,
For I will into the good wife Chats, to feel how the ale doth tast.

The fist Acte.

The third Sceane.

Hodge. Lib.
Hog.
Cham agast by the masse, ich wot not what to do,
Chad need blesse me well before ich go them to.
Perchaunce some fellon spirit may haunt our house indeed,
And then chwere but at noddy to venter cha no need.
Tib.
Cham worse then mad by the masse to be at this stay.
Cham chib, cham blamd, and beaten all thours on the day.
Lamed and hunder storved, pricked up all in Jagges,
Having no patch to hide my backe, save a few rotten ragges.
Hodg.
I say Tib, if thou be Tib, as I trow sure thou be,
What devil make a do is this, between our dame and thee?
Tib.
Gogs bread Hodge thou had a good turn thou wart not here this while.
[Page]It had ben better for some of us to have ben hence a mile.
My Gammer is so out of course, and frantike all at ones,
That Cocke our boy, & I poor wench, have felt it on our bones.
Hod.

What is the matter, say on Tib whereat she taketh so on?

Tib
She is undone she saith (alas,) her [...]oy and life is gone.
If she here not of some comfort, she is saith but dead,
Shall never come within her lips, on inch of meat ne bread.
Hod.
Bir Ladie cham not very glad, to see her in this dumpe,
Chold a noble her stole hath fallen, & she hath broke her rumpe
Tib.
Nay and that were the worst, we wold not greatly care,
For bursting of her huckle bone, or breaking of her Chair.
But greater, greater, is her grief, as hodge we shall all féel.
Hod.

Gogs wounds Tib, my gammer has never lost her Néele?

Tib.

Her Néele?

Hod.

Her néele?

Tib.

Her neele hy him that made me, it is true Hodge I tell thee,

Hod.
Gogs sacrament, I would she had lost tharte out of her belly.
The Devil or els his dame, they ought her sure a shame,
How a murrion came this chaunce, (say Tib) unto our dame?
Tib.
My gāmer sat her down on the pes, and bad me reach thy bre­ches
And by & by, a vengeāce in it, or she had take two stitches
To clout upon thine ars, by chaunce aside she lears,
And gib our cat in the milk pan, she spied over head and ears.
A hoor, out theef, she cried aloud, and swapt the breeches down,
Up went her staffe, and out leapt gib at doors into the town.
And since that time was never wight cold set their eies upō it,
Gogs malison chaue Cocke and I, bid twentie times light on it
Hod

And is not thē my breches sewid up, to morrow y t I shuld wear

Tib.

No in faith hodge thy breches lie, for all this never the near

Hod.
Now a vēgeance light on al y t sort, y t better shold have kept it,
The cat, the house, and tib our maid, y t better shold have swep it
Se where she cometh crawling, come on in twenty devils way
Ye have made a fair daies worke, have you not? pray you say.

The first Act.

The iiii. Sceane.

Gammer. Hodge. Tib Cocke.
Gam.
ALas, alas, I may will curs [...] [...] ban,
This day that ever I saw it, with gib and the milke pan.
For these and ill lucke together, as knoweth Cock my boie,
Have stacke away my dear neele, and robd me of my joie.
My fair long straight néele that was mine onely treasure,
The first day of my sorrow is, and last of my pleasure.
Hodg.
Might ha kept it when ye had it, but fools will be fools still,
Lose that is vast in your hands, ye need not but ye will.
Gam.
Go hie thee tib, and run thou hoor, to thend here of the town
Didst cary out dust in thy lap, seek where thou porest it down,
And as thou sawest me roking, in the ashes where I morned,
So see in all the heap of dust, thou leave no straw unturned.
Tib

That chal gammer swithe and tite, and sone be here again,

Gam.

Tib stoop & loke down to y e ground to it, and take some pain.

Hodg.
Here is a prety matter, to see this gere how it goes,
By gogs soul I think you wold loes your arse, and it were loose.
Your néele lost, it is pitie you shold lack care and endles sorrow
Gogs deth how shall my breches be sewid, shall I go thus to mo­row
Gam
Ah hodge, hodg, if that ich cold find my néele by the reed
Chould sow thy breches ich promise y e, [...]o full good double threed
And set a patch on either knee, shull last this months twain,
Now god and Saint Sithe I pray, to send it home again.
Hodg.
Whereto served your hands & eies, but your neele to keep,
What devil had you els to do, ye keep ich wot no sheep.
Cham fain abrode to dig and delve, in water, mire and clay,
Sossing and possing in the durt, still from daie to daie.
A hundred things that be abrod, cham set to see them weel,
And four of you sit idle at home, and cannot keep a néele.
Gam.
My néele alas ich lost hodge, what time ich me up hasted,
To save milke set up for the, which gib our cat hath wasted.
Hodg.
The devil he burst both gib, and Tib, with all the rest,
Cham alwaies sure of the worst end, who ever have the best.
Where ha you ben fidging abrod, since you your néele lost?
Gam.
Within the house, and at the door, sitting by this same post.
Where I was looking a long hour, before these folke came here,
But welawaie, all was in vain, my néele is never the near:
Hodg.
Set me a candle, let me seek, and grope where ever it be,
Gogs hart ye be foollish (ich think) you know it not when you it see
Gam.

Come hether Cocke, what Cocke I say?

Cock.

How Gammer.

Gam.
[Page]
Go hie thee soon, and grope behind the old brosse pan,
Which thing when thou hast done.
There shalt thou find an old shoo, wherein if thou looke well,
Thou shalt find lieng an inche of white tallow candell,
Light it, and bring it [...]te away,
Cock.

That shalbe done anone.

Gam.

Nay tary hodge till thou hast light, and then weel seek ich one

Hodg.

Cum away ye horson boy, are yeasleep? ye must have a crier

Cock.

Ich cannot get the candle light, here is almost no fire

Hodg.
Chil hold the peny, chil make y t come if ich may catch thine ears
Art deffe thou horson boy? cocke I say, why canst not heares;
Gam.

Beat him not Hodge but helpe the boy and come you two together.

The i. Acte.

The v. Sceane

Gammer. Tib. Chocke. Hodge.
Gam.

HOw now Tib, quick lets here, what news thou hast brought hether?

Tib.
Chaue tost and tumbled yonder heap our and [...]ver again,
And winowed it through my fingers, as mē wold winow grain
Not so much as a hens turd but in pieces I tare it,
Or what so ever cold or clay I foomd, I did not spare it.
Looking within and eke without, to find your neele (alas)
But all in vain and without help, you neele is where it was.
Gam.

Alas my neele we shall never meet, adue, adue for aye.

Tib.

Not so gammer, we might it finde if we knew where it lay.

Cock.
Gogs cross Gammer, if ye will laugh look in but at the door,
And see how Hodg lieth tomblinge and tossing amids the floure
Raking there some faire to find among the ashes dead
Where there is not one sparke, so big as a pins head,
At last in a dark corner two sparkes he thought he sees
Which where indede nought els, but Gib our cats two eyes
Puffe quod hodg thinking thereby to have fyre without doubt,
With that Gib shut her two eyes, and so the fyre was out
And by and by them opened, even as they were before,
With that the sparkes appered even as they had done of yore,
And even as hodg blew the fire as he did thinck
Gibas she felt the blast straight way began to wincke,
[Page]Till Hodge fell of swering, as came best to his turn,
The fi [...]r was sure bewicht, and therefore would not burn:
At last Gib up the stayers, among the old postes and pins,
And hodge he hied him after til broke were both his shins:
Cursing and swearing oths, were never of his making,
That Gib would fire the house, if that [...]he were not taken,
Gam.
See here is all the thought that the foolish [...]rohin taketh.
And Tib me think at his elbow almost as mery maketh
This is all the wit ye have when others make their mone,
Come down Hodge, where art thou? and let the Cat alone,
Hodg.
Gogs heart, help and come up, Gib in her taile hath fire,
And is like to burn all if the get a little hier:
Cum down (quoth you,) nay then you might count me a patch
The house cometh down on your heads if it take ons y e thatch
Gam.

It is the cats eyes fool that shineth in the dark.

Hodg.

Hath the Cat do you think in every eye a spark?

Gam.

No, but they shine as like fire as ever man sée.

Hodg.

By the mass and she burn all, yoush bear the blame for me

Gam.
Cum down and help to séek here our neel that it were found
Down Tib on thy knées I say, down Cock to the ground,
To God I make a vow, and so to good Saint Anne
A candel shall they have a péece, get it where I can,
If I may my neel finde in one place or in other.
Hodg.
Now a vengeaunce on gib light, on gib and gibs mother
And all the generacion of Cats both far and ne're
Look on the ground horson thinks thou the néel is here.
Cock.
By my trouth gammar me thought your nedle here I saw
But when my fingers toucht it, I felt it was a straw,
Tib.

See Hodge what 'tis, may it not be within it,

Hodg.

Break it sool with thy hand, and sée, & thou canst finde it.

Tib.

Nay break it you Hodge according to your word.

Hodg.
Gogs sides, fie it stinck [...]: it is a Cats tourd,
It were well done to make thée eat it by the mass.
Gam.
This matter amendeth not my néel is still where it wass
Our candle is at an end let us all in [...]uight
And come another time, when we have more light.

The ii Acte.

First a Song.

Back and side go bare, go bare, booth foot and hand go colde:
But Belly god send thée good Ale ynoughe, whether it be new or old.
I Can not eat, but little meat, my stomack is not good:
But sure I think, that I can drink with him that weares a hood.
Though I go bare, take ye no care, I am nothing a colde:
I stuffe my skin, so full within, of joly good Ale and old.
Back and side, go bare, go bare, booth foot and hand go cold:
But belly god send the good Ale inoughe whether it be new or old.
I love no rost, but a nut brown toste, and a Crab laid in the fire,
A little bread, shall do me stead much bread I not desire:
No froste nor snow, no winde I trow can hurte mee if I wolde,
I am so wrapt, and throwly lapt of joly good Ale and old.
Back and side go bare, &c.
And Tib my wife, that as her life loveth well good Ale to séek,
Full ofte drinkes shée, till ye may sée the teares run down her chéekes:
Then dooth she trowle, to me the bowle even as a mault worm shuld,
And saith swéet heart, I took my part of this joly good Ale and old.
Back and side go bare, &c.
Now let them drink, till they nod and wink, even as good fellows should do
They shall not miss, to have the blisse, good Ale doth bring men to:
And all poor souls that have scow [...]ed boules or have them lustely trolde,
God save the lives, of them and their wives whether they be yong or old.
Back and side go bare, &c.

The first Sceane.

Diccon. Hodg.
Dic
WElldone by Gogs malt, wellsong and wellsaid,
Come on mother Chat as thou art true maid.
One fresh pot of Ale lets sée to make an end
Against this cold wether, my naked armes to defend
This gere it warms the soul, now wind blow on the worst,
And let us drink and swill, till that our bellies burste
Now were he a wise man, by cunning cold define
Which way my journey lyeth, or where Diccon will dine
But one good turn I have, be it by night or day
South, East, North or West, I am never out of my way.
Hod.
Chym goodly rewarded, cham I not, do you thincke?
Chad a goodly dinner for all my sweat and swincke,
Neither Butter, Chéese, Milk, Onyons, Flesh nor Fish,
Save this poor pece of barly bread, tis a pleasant costly dish.
Dic.
Hail fellow Hodg, & will to fare, w t thy meat, if y e have any?
But by thy words as I thē smeled; thy daintrels be not many
Hod
Daintrels diccō (gogs soul mā) save this pece of dry horsbred
Cha byt no bit this live long day, no crome come in my hed
My guts they yawle, crawle, and all my belly rumbleth,
The puddings cannot lie still, ech one over other tumbleth
By gogs hart cham so vexte, and in my belly pend
Chould one péece were at the spitlehouse another at y e castels end.
Dic.

Why hodg, was there none at home thy dinner for to set?

Hod.
Godgs bread diccō ich came to late, was nothing therto get
Gib (a fowl feind might on her light) lickt y e milk pan so clen
Sée diccon, 'twas not so wel washt this vii. yere as ich wene
A pestilence light on al ill luck, chad thought yet for all this
[Page]Of a morsel of bacon behind the dore at worst should not miss,
But when ich sought a slip to cut, as ich was wont to do
Gogs souls Diccon, gib our Cat had eat the bacon to.
Which bacon Diccon stole, as is declared before.
Dic.
Ill luck quod he, maiy swere it hodg, this day y e truth to tell
Thou rose not on thy right side, or else blest thée not well,
Thy milk slopt up, thy bacō filtched, y t was to bad luck hodg.
Hodg.
Nay, nay, there was a fowler fault, my gāmer ga me y t bodg
Séest not how chā rent & torn, my héels, my knees & my bréech
Chad thought as ich sat by the fire, help here & there a stitch
But there ich was powpte indéed,
Dic.

Why Hodg?

Hodg.
Bootes not man to tell,
Cham so drest amonst a sort of fooles, chad better be in hell,
My gāmar (cham ashamed to say) by god serbed me not wéel.
Dic.

How so Hodg?

Hodg

Hase she not gone trowest now and lost ber néele.

Dic.

Her Eele Hodg, who fisht of late? that was a dainty dish.

Hodg.
Tush, tush, her néele, her néele, her néele man. tys neither flesh nor fish.
A lytle thing with an hole in the end, as bright as any syller,
Small, long, sharp at the point, & straight as any piller.
Dic.

I know not what a devil y u m̄est, y u bringst me more in doubt

Hodg.
Knowest not what tom tailers man sits broching through a clout
A neele, néele, a neele, my gammers neele is gone.
Her néele Hodg, now I smell thée, y t was a chaunce alone,
Dic.
By y e mass y u hadst a shameful loss, & it wer but for thy brcehes
Gogs soul man chould give a crown chad it but iii. stitches.
Hodg.

How sayest y u Hodg, what shuld he have, again thy nedle got

Dic.

Bem vathers soul, and chad it chould give him a new grot.

Hodg.

Canst thou kéep counsaile in this case.

Dic.

Els chwold my thong were out.

Hod.

Do than but then by my advise. & I wil fetch it w tout doubt,

Dic.

Chyll run, chyll ride, chyll dygge, chyll delue, chill toyle, chill trudge shalt sée:

Hodg.
Chill hold, chill draw, chill pull, chill pynch chill knéel on my bare knée.
Chill scrape, chill scratch, chill syfte, chill séek, chill bow, chill bend, chill sweat.
[Page]Chil stoop, chil stur, chil cap, chil knele, chil crep on hāds & féet,
Chil be thy bondman Diccon, ich swear by Sun and Moon
And channot sum what to stop this gap, cham utterly undone
Pointing behind to his torn breeches.
Dic.

Why, is ther any special causs, thou takest hereat such sorow

Hod.
Kirstian Clack Tom simsons maid, by the mass come hether to morow
Chamnot able to say, betwéen us what may hap,
She smiled on me the last sunday when ich put off my cap,
Dic.
Wel Hodg this is a matter of weight, & must be kept close,
It might els turn to both our costes as the world now gose,
Shalt sware to be no blab Hodg.
Hod.

Chill Diccon.

Dic.
Then go to,
Lay thine hand here, say after me as thou shalt here me do.
Haste no book?
Hodg.

Cha no book I.

Dic.
Then néeds must force us both,
Upon my bréech to lay thine hand, & there to take thine oth.
Hod.
I Hodg bréecheless,
Swear to Diccon recheless
By the cross that I shall kiss,
To kéep his counsaile close
And always me to dispose
To work that his pleasure is.
Here he kisseth Diccons bréech.
Dic.
Now Hodg sée thou take héed
And do as I thée bid
For so I judge it méet,
This nedle again to win
There is no shift therein
But conjure up a spréet,
Hodg.

What the great devil Diccon I say?

Dic.
Yea in good faith, that is the way.
Fet with some prety charm.
Hodg.
Soft Diccon be not to hasty yet,
By the mass for ich begin to sweat,
Cham afraid of some harm,
Dic.
Come hether then and stur the nat
One inche out of this Cyrcle plat
But stand as I thée teach.
Hod.
[Page]

And shall ich be here safe from their clawes?

Dic.
The mayster devil with his longe pawes
Here to thée cannot reache:
Now will I settle me to this geare.
Hod.
I say Diccon,, hear me, hear:
Go softely to this matter.
Dic.

What devil man, art afraide of nought

Hod.
Canst not tarry a little thought
Till ich make a curte [...]e of water.
Dic.

Stand still to it, why shuldest thou fear him?

Hod.
Gogs sides Diccon, me think ich hear him
And tarry chal mare all.
Dic.

The matter is no worse then I told it,

Hod.
By the masse cham able no longer to hold it,
To bad iche must beraye the hall,
Dic.
Stand to it Hodg, sture not you horson.
What devil, be thine ars stringes brusten?
Thy self a while but stay,
The devil I smell him will be here anone.
Hod.
Hold him fast Diccon, cham gone, cham gone
Chil not be at that fraye.

The ii. Acte.

The ii. Sceane.

Diccon Chat.
Dic.
FY shitten knave, and out upon thee
A bove all other loutes fie on thée,
Is not here a clenly prancke?
But thy matter was no better
Nor thy presence here no sweter,
To flye I can thee thank:
Here is a matter worthy glosing
Of Gammer Gurtons Nedle losing
And a foul péece of wark,
A man I thincke might make a play
And nede no word to this they say
Being but halfe a Clark.
[Page]Soft, let me alone, I will take the charge
This matter further to enlarge
Within a time short,
If ye will mark my toyes, and note
I will give ye leave to cut my throte
If I make not good sport,
Dame Chat I say, where be ye, within?
Chat.

Who have we there maketh such a din?

Dic.

Here is a good fellow, maketh no great daunger,

Chat.
What diccon? Come nere, ye be no straunger,
We be fast set at trump man, hard by the fire,
Thou shalt set on the King, if thou come a little nyer.
Dic.
Nay, nay, there is no tarying: I must be gone again,
But first for you in councel I have a word or twain.
Chat.
Come hether Dol, Dol, sit down and play this game,
And as thou sawest me do, sée thou do even the same,
There is 5. trumps besides y e Quéen, y t hindmost y u shalt finde her
Take hede of Sim glovers wife, she hath an eye behind her.
Now Diccon say your will.
Dic.
Nay soft a little yet,
I would not tell my sister, the matter is so great,
There I will have you swear by our dere Lady of Bullaine,
S. Dunstone, and S. Donnyke, with the three Kings of Kul­lain,
That ye shall kéep it secret.
Chat.
Gogs bread that will I doo,
As secret as mine own thought, by god and the devil two.
Dic.
Here is gamer gurton your neighbor, a sad & hevy weight:
Her goodly fair red Cock, at home, was stole this last night.
Chat.

Gogs soul her Cock with the yelow legs, y t nightly crowed so just?

Dic.

That cock is stollen.

Chat.

What was he fet out of the hens ruste?

Dic.
I can not tell where y e devil he was kept, under key or lock,
But Tib hath tikled in Gammers ear, that you should steal the cock
Chat.

Have I strong hoor? by bread and salt.

Dic.
What soft, I say be still.
Say not one word for all this geare.
Chat.
By the mass that I will,
I wil have the yong hore by the head, and the old trot by y e throte
Dic.

Not one word dame Chat I say, not one word for my cote.

Chat.
[Page]
Shal such a begars brawl as y t thinkest y u make me a théef
The pocks light on her hores sides, a pestlence & mischéefe
Come out thou hungry nedy bytche, o that my nails be short.
Dic.
Gogs bred womā hold your peace, this g [...]re wil els pass sport
I wold not for an hundred pound, this mater shuld be known
That I am auctour of this tale, or have abrode it blowen
Did ye not swear ye wold be ruled, before the tale I told?
I said ye must all secret kéep, and the said sure ye wolde.
Chat.
Wold you suffer your self diccon, such a sort, to revile you
With slaunderous words to blot your name, & so to defile you?
Dic.
No good wife chat I wold be loth such drabs shuld blot my name
But yet ye must so order all, y t Diccon bare no blame.
Chat.

Go to then, what is your rede say on your minde, ye shall me rule herein.

Dic.
Godamercy to dame chat, in faith thou must the gere begin
It is twenty pound to a goose turd, my gammar wil not tary
But hether ward she comes as fast as her legs can her cary,
To brawle with you about her cock, for wel I hard Tib say,
The cock was rosted in your house, to breafast yesterday,
And when he had the carcas eaten, the fethers ye our flunge
And doll your maid the legs she hid a foot depe in the dunge,
Chat.

Oh gracious god my heart is burstes.

Dic.
Well rule your self a space
And gammar gurton when she cometh anon into this place
Then to the Quean lets sée tell her your minde & spare not
So shall Diccon blameless bée, and then go to I care not.
Chat.
Then hoor beware her throte, I can a bide no longer
In faith old witch it shalbe séen, which of us two be stronger
And Diccon but at your request, I wold not stay one hour,
Dic.
Well kéep it in till she be here, and then out let it pour,
In the mean while get you in, and make no words of this
More of this matter w t in this hour to here you shall not miss
Because I know you are my friend, hide it I cold not doubtless
Ye know your harm, sée ye be wise about your own business
So fare ye will.
Chat.
Nay soft Diccon and drink, what Doll I say.
Bring here a cup of the best ale, lets sée, come quickly away.
[Page]Hodg. Diccon.
Dic.
YE see masters y t one end tapt of this my short devise
Now must we broche thoter to, before the smoke larise
And by the time they have a while run, I trust ye need not crave it,
But loke what lieth in both their harts ye ar like sure to have it
Hod.

Yea gogs soul, art alive yet? what Diccon dare ich come?

Dic.
A man is wel hied to trust to thee, I wil say nothing but mum
But and ye come any nearer I pray you see all be sweet.
Hod.

Tush man, is gammers neele found, y t chould gladly weete,

Dic.
She may thāke the it is not foūd, for if y u had kept thy stāding
The devil he wold have fet it out, ev'n hodg at thy cōmanding
Hod

Gogs ha [...]t, & cold he tel nothing wher y t neele might be found

Dic.
Ye folish dolt, ye were to seek, ere we had got our ground,
Therfore his tale so doubtful was, y t I cold not perceive it.
Hod.
Then ich se welsomthing was said, chop one day yet to have it
But diccon, diccon, did not the devil cry, ho, ho, ho,
Dic.

If y u hadst taried where thou stoodst, thou woldest have said so,

Hod.
Durst swere of a boke, chard him rore, streight after ich was gon
But tel me diccon w t said y t knave, let me here it anon.
Dic.
The horson talked to me, I know not well of what.
One while his tonge it ran, and paltered of a Cat,
Another while he stamered still upon a Kat,
Last of all there was nothing but every word Chat, Chat,
But this I well perceived before I wolde him rid,
Betweene Chat and the Kat, and the Cat the nedle is hid,
Now wether Gib our cat have eat it in her mawe,
Or Doctor Kat our curat have found it in the straw,
Or this same chat your neighbor have stollen it, god he knoweth,
But by y e morow at this time, we shall learn how the matter goeth
Hod.
Canst learn to night man, seest not what is here,
Pointing behinde to his torn breeches.
Dic.

Tis not possible to make it sooner appere,

Hod.
Alas Diccon then chaue no shift, but least ich tary to long
Hie me to Sim glovers shop, there to seek for a Thonge,
There with this breech to tatche and tye as ich may.
Dic.
Tomorow hodg if we chaunce to meet, shall see what I will say.

The ii. Acte.

The iii. Sceane.

Diccon Gammer.
Dic.
NOw this gere must forward go, for here my gammer cometh,
Be still a while and say nothing, make here a litle rometh.
Gam.
Good lord, shall never be my luck my néele again to spie?
Alas the while tys past my help, where tis still it must lie.
Dic.
Now Iesus gammer gurtō, w t driveth you to this sadnes:
I fear me by my conscience, you will sure fall to madness.
Gam.

Who is that? what Diccon? cham lost man: fye, fye.

Dic.

Mary fye on them y t be worthy, but w t shuld be your troble?

Gam.
Alas the more ich think on it, my sorrow it waxeth doble.
My goodly tossing sporiars néele, chave lost ich wot not where,
Dic.

Your néele, whan?

Gam.
My néele (alas) ich might full ill it spare,
As god himself he knoweth nere one beside chave.
Dic.

If this be all good gammer, I warrant you all is save.

Gam.

Why know you any tidings which way my néele is gone?

Dic.
Yea that I do doubtless, as ye shall here anone,
A sée a thing this matter toucheth, within these 20 hours,
Even at this gate, before my face by a neighbour of yours,
She stooped me down, and up she toke a nedle or a pin,
I durst be sworn it was even yours, by all my mothers kin.
Gam.
It was my néele diccon ich wot, for here even by this post
Ich sat, what time as ich up start, and so my néele it lost:
Who was it leive son? speke ich pray the, & quickly tel me y t?
Dic.

A suttle quean as any in the town, your neighbour here dame Chat.

Gam.

Dame chat diccō let me be gone, chil thither in post haste.

Dic.
Take my councel yet or ye go, for fear ye walk in wast,
It is a murrion crafty drab, and froward to be pleased.
And ye take not the better way, our nedle yet ye lose it?
For when she took it up, even here before your doores?
What soft dame chat, (quoth I) that same is none of yours
Avant (quoth she) sir knave, what pratest thou of that I find:
I wold y u hadst kist me I wot whear: she ment I know behind)
And home she went as brag as it had ben a bodelouce.
And I after as bold, as it had ben, the goodman of the house:
[Page]But there and ye had hard her, how she began to scolde,
The tonge it were on patins by him that Judas solde,
Ech other word I was a knave, and you a hore of hores,
Because I spake in your behalf, and said the néele was yours.
Gam.

Gogs bread, and thinks y e callet thus to kéep my néele me fro?

Dic.
Let her alone, and she minds non other but evē to dress you so
Gam.
By the mass chil rather spend the cots that is on my backe.
Thinks the false [...]uean by such a slight that chill my néele lack
Dic.
Slep not you gere I counsel you, but of this take good hede
Let not be known I told you of it, how well soever ye spede.
Gam.
Chil in Diccon a cléene aperne to take, and set before me,
And ich may my néele once sée, chil sure remember the.

The ii. Acte.

The v. Sceane.

Diccon.
Dic.
HEre will the sport begin, if these two once may méet,
Their chere durst lay money will prove scarsly swéet
My gammer sure entends to be upon her bones,
With staves, or with clubs, or els with coble stones.
Dame Chat on the other side, it she be fare behinde
I am right far deceived, she is geven to it of kinde,
He that may tarry by it a while, and that but short
I warrant him trust to it, he shall sée all the sport,
Into the town will I, my frendes to vysit there
And hether straight again to sée thend of this gere
In the mean time felowes, pype up your fidles, I say take them
And let your friendes here such mirth as ye can make them.

The iii. Acte.

The i Sceane.

Hodg.
Hod.
Sym glover yet gramercy cham meetley well sped now,
Thart even as good a felow as ever kiste a cowe,
Here is a thing in dede, by the mass though ich speak it
Tom tankards great bald curtal, I think could not breake it
And when he spyed my neede, to be so straight and hard,
[Page]Hays lent me here his naul, to set the giv forward,
As for my Gammers néele, the flyenge feind go wéet,
Chill not now go to the door [...]gain with it to méet:
Chould make shift good enough and chad a candels end,
The chéefe hole in my bréeche, with these two chil amend.

The iii. Acte.

The ii Sceane.

Gammer. Hodg.
Gam.
HOw Hodg, mayst now be glad, cha news to tell thée
Ich know who hais my néele, ich trust soon shalt it sée,
Hod.

The devil thou does, hast hard gammer in deed, or doest but jest?

Gam.

Tis as true as steel Hodg.

Hod.

Why knowest well where didst leese it?

Gam.

Ich know who found it, and took it up, shalt see or it be long.

Hod.
Gods mother dere, if that be true, farwel both naule an thong
But who hais it gammer say one chould fain here it disclosed.
Gam.

That false fixen, that same dame Chat, that counts her self so honest

Hod.

Who told you so?

Gam.

That same did Diccon the bedlam, which saw it done.

Hod.
Diccon: it is a vengeable knave gammer, tis a bonable horsō,
Can do mo things then that els cham deceyued evil:
By the mass ich saw him of late call up a great black devil,
O the knave cryed ho, ho, roared and he thundred,
And yead bene here, cham sure yould murrenly ha wondred.
Gam.

Was not thou afraide Hodg to see him in this place?

Hod.
No, and chad come to me, chould have laid him on the face,
Chould have promised him.
Gam.

But Hodg, had he no horns to pushe?

Hod.
As long as your two arms, saw ye never Fryer Kushe,
Painted on a cloth, with a side long cowes tayle,
And crooked cloven feet, and many a hoked nayle?
For al the world (if I shuld judg) chould recken him his brother
Lo [...]e even what face Frier rush had, the devil had such another
Gam.

New Iesus mercy hodg, did diccon in him bring?

Hod.
Nay gammer (heare me speke) chil tel you a greater thing,
The devil (when diccon had him, ich hard him wondrous wéel)
[Page]Said plainly (here before us) that d [...]me that had your neele.
Gam.
Then let us go, and ask her wherfore she minds to keep it,
Seing we know so much, tware a madness now to slepe it.
Hod.
Go to her gāmer see ye not where she stands in her doors,
Bid her geve you the neele, tis none of hers but yours.

The iii. Acte.

The iii. Sceane.

Gammer. Chat. Hodg.
Gam.
DAme Chat cholde pray the fait, let me have that is mine,
Chil not this twenty yeres take on fart that is thine
Therefore give me mine own and let me live beside the.
Chat.
Why art thou crept frō home hether, to mine own doores to chide me:
Hence doting drab, auaunt, or I shall set the further.
Intends thou and that knave, mee in my house to murther?
Gam.
Tush gape not so, no woman, shalt not yet eat mee,
Nor all the frends thou hast, in this shall not intreat mee:
Mine own goods I will have, and ask the no beleve,
What woman: pore folks must have right, though the thing you agreve.
Chat.
Give thée thy right, and hang the up, w t al thy baggers broode
What wilt thou make me a theefe, and say I stole thy good?
Gam.
Chil say nothing (ich warrāt thee, but y t ich cā prove it well
Thou fet my good even from my door, cham able this to tell.
Chat.

Did I (old witch) steal oft was thine? how should that thing be known?

Gam.

Ich can not tel but up thou tokest it as though it had bin thine own,

Chat.

Mary fy on thee, thou old giv, with all my very hart.

Gam.

Nay fy on thée y u rampe, thou rig, with al that take thy part.

Chat.

A vengeaunce on those lips y t layeth such things to my charge

Gam.

A vengeance on those callats hips, whose consciēce is so large

Chat.

Come out Hogge.

Gam.

Come out hog, and let have me right.

Chat.

Thou argant Witche.

Gam.

Thou bawdie bitche, chil make thée curse this night.

Chat.

A bag and a wallet.

Gam.

A carte for a callet.

Chat.
Why wenest thou thus to prevaile,
I hold thee a grote,
[Page]I shall patche thy coat,
Gam.
Thou wart as good kiss my tayl,
Thou slut, y u kut, y u rakes, y u jakes will not shame make the hide
Chat.
Thou skald, thou hald, thou roten, y u glotton, I will no lenger chid the
But I will teache the to kéep home.
Gam.
Wilt thou drunken beast?
Hod.
Stick to her gammer, take her by the head, chil warrant you this feast,
Smite I say gammer,
Bite I say gammer,
I trow ye will bekéene:
Where be your nails? claw her by the jawes, pull me out bothe her eyen,
Gogs bones gammer, hold up her head?
Chat.
I trow drab I shall dresse thée.
Tary you knave I hold the a grote, I shall make these hand bless thée
Take y u this old hore for amends, & learn thy tonge wel to tame
And say thou met at this bickering, not thy fellow but thy dame
Hod.
Where is the strong stued hore, chil gear a hores mark,
Stand out ones way, that ich kill none in the dark:
Up gammer and ye be alive, chil feight now for us both,
Come no nere me thou scalde callet, to kill the ich wer loth.
Chat.
Art here again thou hoddypeke, what doll bring me out my spitte,
Hod.
Chill broche thée with this, him father soul, chill conjure that foule sprete:
Let dore stand Cock, why coms indeed? kepe dore y u horson boy.
Chat.

Stand to it y u dastard for thine ears, ise teche y e a sluttish coy,

Hod.

Gogs wounds hore, chill make the auaunte, take héed Cock, pull in the latche,

Chat.

I faith sir loose breche had ye taried ye shold have found your match.

Gam.

Fow ware thy throte losel, thoese pray for all;

Hod.
Wellsaid gammer by my soul,
Hoise her, souse her, bounce her, trounce her, pull out her throte boule
Chat
Comst behinde me thou withered witch, & I get once on foot
Thouse pay for all, y u old tarlether, ile teach the what long to it
Take y e this to make up thy mouth, till time thou come by more
Hod.
Up gammer, stand on your féete, where is the old hore?
Faith would chad her by the face choulde crack her callet crown.
Gam.

A hodg, hodg, where was thy help, when fixen had me down?

Hod.
By the mass Gammer, but for my staffe, Chat had gone nye to spyl you
[Page]Ich think the harlot had not cared, and chad not com, to kil you
But shall we loose our neele thus,
Gam.
No Hodg chwarde lothe doo soo.
Thinkest thou chill take that at her hand, no hodg ich tel the no
Hod.
Chold yet this fray wer wel take up, & our own néele at home
Twill be my chaunce els some to kil, where ever it be or whom
Gam.
We have a person, (hodg thou knoes) a man estemed wise
Mast doctor Kat, chil for him send, and let me here his advise,
He will her shriue for all this gere, & geve her penaunce strait
Wese have our néele, els dame chat comes nere w t in heavē gate
Hod.
Ye mary gammer, y t ich think best: will you now for him send
The sooner Doctor Kat be here, the sooner wese ha an end,
And here gammer Diccons devil, (as iche remember well)
Of Cat and Chat, and Doctor Kat, a felloneus tale did tell,
Chold you forty pound, that is the way your néele to get again.
Gam.

Chil ha him strait, call out the boy, wese make him take y e pain

Hod.

What coke I say, come out, what devil canst not here?

Gam.
How now hodg, how does? gammer, is yet the wether cleare?
What wold chaue me to doo
Gam.
Come hether Cock anon:
Hence swithe to Doctor Kat, hye the that thou were gone,
And pray him come speke with me; cham not well at ease,
Shait have him at his chamber of els at mother Bees,
Els séek him at Hobfilchers shop, for as charde it reported
Thers is the best ale in al the town, & now is most resorted.
Cock.

And shall ich bring him with me Gammer?

Gam.
Yea, by and by good Cock.
Shalt see that shalbe here anone, els let me have one y t dock
Hod.
Now gammer shall we two go in, and tary for his comming
what devil woman pluck up your hart, & leve of al this gloming
Though she were stronger at y e first, as ich think ye did find her
Gam.
Yet there ye drest the dronkē sow, what time ye can behind her
Nay, nay, cham sure she lost not all, for set them to y e begining
And ich doubt not, but she wil make smal host of her winning.

The iii. Acte.

The iiii. Sceane.

Tib. Hodg. Gammer. Cock.
Tib.
[Page]
SE gammer, gammer, gib our cat, chā afraid what she ayleth
She standes me gasping behinde the door, as though her winde her faileth:
Now let ich doubt what gib shuld mean, y t now she doth so dote,
Hod.
Hold hether, ichould twenty pound, your néele is in her throte,
Grope her ich say, me thinks ich féele it, does not prick your hand?
Gam.

Ich can féele nothing.

Hod.
No, ich know thars not within this land,
A muriner Cat then Gib is, betwixt the tems and Line,
Shase as much wit in her head almost as chaue in mine,
Tib.
Faith shase eaten some thing, that will not easely down
Whether she gar it at home, or abrode in the town
Iche cannot tell.
Gam.
Alas ich fear it be some croked pin,
And then farewel gib, she is undone, and lost all save the skin,
Hod.
Tib, your néele woman, I say: gogs soul geve me a knife
And chil have it out of her mawe, or els chal lose my life
Gam.
What nay hogd, fy kill not our cat, tis al the cats we ha now.
Hod.
By the mass dame Chat hays me so moved, iche care not what I kill, ma god a vowe:
Go to then Lib to this geare, hold up her tayle and take her,
Chilse what debit is in her guts, chil take y u paines to rake her,
Gam.

Rake a Cat Hodg, what woldst thou do?

Hod.
What thinckst that cham not able?
Did not Tom Tankard rake his Curtal toore day standing in the stable?
Gam.

Soft be content, lets here what news Cock bringeth from maist Rat.

Cock.
Gammer chave ben ther as you had, you wot wel about what
I will not be long before he come, ich durst swear of a book
He bids you sée ye be at home, and there fore him to look.
Gam.

Where didst thou finde him bay, was he not wher I told thée?

Cock.
Yes, yes even at Hobfilchers house, by him y t bought and sold me
A cup of Ale had in his hand, and a crab lay in the fier,
Chad much a do to go and come, all was so full of mier:
And Gammer one thing I can tell, Hobfilchers naule was loste
And Doctor Rat found it again, hard bestde the door poste,
I choulde penny can say something, your néele again to fet.
Gam.
Cham glad to hear so much Cock, than trust he will not let
To help us herein best he can, therefore till time he come
Let us go in, if there be ought to get thou shall have some.

The ii. Acte.

The iiii. Sceam.

Doctor Rat. Gammer Gurton.
D. Rat.
A Man were better twenty times, be a bandog & barke,
Then here among such a sort, be parish priest or clarke
Where he shall never be at rest one pissing while a day.
But he must trudge about the towne, this way, and that way,
Here to a drab, there to a theefe, his shoes to teare and rent
And that which is worst of all, at every knaves commaundmēt
I had not sit the space to drinke two pots of ale,
But Gammer gurtons sory boy, was straite way at my taile.
And she was sicke, and I must come, to do I wot not what,
If once her singers end but ake, trudge, call for Doctor Rat,
And when I come not at their call, I only thereby loose,
For I am sure to lacke therefore a tythe pyg or a goose:
I warrāt you when truth is known, & told they have their tale
The matter where about I come, (is not worth a half peny worth of ale,
Yet must I talke so sage and smothe, as though I were a glosser
Els or the yer come at an end, I shalbe sure the loser,
What worke ye gāmer gurtō? how here is your friend M. Rat.
G.

A good M. Doctor, cha troubled, cha troubled you, chwot wel that

D. Rat.

How do ye woman, be ye lustie, or be ye not wel at ease?

Gam.
By gys master cham not sich, but yet chaue a disease.
Chad a foule turne now of late, chill tell it you by gigs.
D. Rat.

Hach your browne cow cast hir calfe, or your sandy sowe her pigs

Gam.

No but chad ben as good they had, as this ich wot weel.

D. Rat

What is the matter,

Gam.
Alas, alas, cha lost my good néele,
My neele I say, and wot ye what: a drab came by and spied it
And when I asked hir for the same, the filth flatly denied it.
D. Rat.

What was she that:

Gam.
A dame ich warrant you: we began to scold and brawle
Alas, alas, come hether Hodge? this wretche can tell you all.

The iiii. Acte.

The ii. Sceane.

Hodge. Doctor Rat. Gammer. Diccon. Chat.
Hodge.
GOd morow gaffer Vicar.
Come on fellow let us heare.
[Page]Thy dame hath said to me, thou knowest of all this geare,
Lets sée what thou canst say?
Hod.
Bym say sir that ye shall,
What matter so ever here was done, ich can tell your maship
My Gammer gurton hear sée now,
Cat her down at this door sée now,
And as she began to stir her, sée now,
her néele fell in the floore, sée now,
And while her staff she took, sée now,
at gib her Cat to fling, sée now,
Her néele was lost in the floor, sée now,
is not this a wondrous thing, sée now?
Then came the quean Dame Chat, sée now,
to ask for hir black cup, sée now:
And even here at this gate, sée now,
she took that néele up, sée now:
My Gammer then she yeede, sée now,
hir néele again to bring, see now,
And was caught by the head, see now,
is not this a wondrous thing, see now?
She tare my Gammers cote, see now
and scratched hir by the face, see now
Chad thought shad stopt hir throte, see now
is not this a wondrous case, see now?
When ich saw this, ich was wroth, see now
and start between them twain, see now
Els ich durst take a book othe, see now
my gammer had been slain, see now.
Gam.
This is even the whole matter, as Hodg has plainly told
And chould fain be quiet for my part, that chould.
But help us good master, beseech ye that ye doo
Els shall we both be beaten and lose our neele too
D. Rat.
What wold ye have me to doo? tell me that I were gone
I do the best that I can, to set you both at one.
But be ye sure dame Chat hath this your neele found?
Gam.
Here comes the man that see hir take it up off the ground,
Ask him your self master Rat if ye beleve not me
And help me to my neele, for gods sake and saint charitie.
D. Rat.
Come nere diccon, and let us hear, what thou can express.
[Page]Wilt y u be sworne seest dame chat, this womans neele have?
Dic.
Nay by S. Benit will I not, then might ye think me raue.
G.
Why didst not y u tell me so even here canst y u for shame deny it?
Dic.
I mary gammer: but I said I wold not abide by it,
D. Rat.
Will you say a thing, and sticke to it to trie it?
Dic.
Stick to it quoth you master rat, mary sir I defy it,
Nay there is many an honest man, when he suche blastes hath blowne,
In his freindes ears, he woulde be loth the same by him were knowne:
If such a toy be used oft among the honestie,
It may be seme a simple man, of your and my degree.
D. Rat.
Then we be never the nearer, for all that you can tell.
Dic.
Yes mary sir, if ye will do by mine advise and counsaile,
If mother chat se al us here, she knoweth how the matter goes
Therefore I red you three, go hence, and within keep close;
And I will into dame chats house, and so the matter use,
That or you cold go twise to church, I warant you here news:
She shall looke well about her, but I durst lay a pledge,
Ye shall of gammers neele, have shortly better knowledg.
Gam.
Now gentle Diccon do so, and good sir let us trudge▪
D. Rat.
By the masse I may not tarry so long to be your judge,
Dic.
Tys but a little while man, what take so much paine;
If I here none wes of it, I will come sooner againe.
Hodge
Tary so much, good master Doctor of your gentlenes,
D. Rat.
Then let us hie inward, and Diccon speede thy busines.
Dic.
Now sirs do you no more, but kepe my counsaile just,
And Doctor Rat shall thus catch some good I trust,
But mother Chat my gossap, talke first with all I must:
For she must be chief captaine to lay the Rat in the dust.
God deven dame Chat in faith, and well met in this place.
Chat.
God deven my friend Diccon, whether walke ye this pace:
Dic.
By my truth even to you, to learne how the world goeth,
Hard ye no more of the other matter, say me now by your troth?
Chat.
O yes diccon: here the olde hoore, & hodge that great knave.
But in faith I would thou hadst sene, o lord I drest them brave,
She bar me two or three souses behind in the nape of the necke
Till I made hir olde wesen, to answer again kecke:
And Hodge that dirty dastard, that at hir elbow standes,
If one paire of legs had not bene worth two paire of hands
He had had his bearde shaven, if my nayles wold have served
[Page]And not without a cause, for the knave it well deserved.
Dic.

By the masse I can the thank wench, y u didst so wel acquite' the

Chat.
And thadst seene him Diccon, it wold have made y e beshite the
For laughter, the horsen dolt at last caught up a club,
As though he would have slaine the master devil Belsabub,
But I set him soone inwarde.
Dic.
O Lord there is the thing,
That Hodge is so offended, that makes him starte and flyng.
Chat.

Why? makes the knave any moyling, as ye have seene or hard

Dic
Even now I sawe him last, like a mad man he farde,
And sware vp heaven and hell, he would a wreake his sorrow
And leve you never a hen a live by viii. of the clock tomorow,
Therefore mark what I say, and my wordes see that ye trust
Your hens be as good as dead, if ye leave them on the ruste.
Ch.

The knave dare as well go hang himself, as go upon my groūd

Dic.
Wel yet take hede I say, I must tel you my tale round,
Have you not about your house, behind your furnace or leade,
A hole where a crafty knave may creepe in for neade?
Chat.

Yes by the masse, a hole broke down, even w tin these ii. dayes,

Dic.

Hodge, he intends this same night, to slip in there awayes.

Chat.

O Christ that I were sure of it, in faith he shuld have his mede

Dic.
Watch wel, for the knave wil be there as sure as is your crede
I wold spend my selfe a shilling to have him swinged well.
Chat.
I am as glad as a woman can be of this thing to here tell,
By gogs bones when he cometh, now that I know the matter
He shall sure at the first skip, to leape in scalding water:
With a worse turne besides, when he will, let him come.
Dic.
I tell you as my sister, you know what meaneth mum,
Now lacke I but my doctor, to play his part againe..
And lo where he cometh towards, peradventure to his paine.
D. Rat.

What good newes Diccon? fellow, is mother chat at house?

Dic.
She is syr, and she is not, but it please her to whome:
Yet did I take her tardy, as subtle as she was.
D. Rat.

The thing that thou wentst for, hast thou brought it to passe?

Dic.
I have done that I have done, be it worse, be it better.
And dame Chat at her wyts ende, I have almost set her,
D. Rat.

Why hast thou spied the naele, quickly I pray thee tell.

Dic.
I have spied it in faith sir, I handled my selfe so well,
And yet the crafty queane had almost take my trumpe.
[Page]But or all came to an ende, I set her in a dumpe:
D. Rat.

How so I pray thee Diccon?

Dic.
Mary sir will ye heare?
She was clapt downe on the backside, by cocks mother dere,
And there she sat sowing a halter, or a bande,
With no other thing save gammers nedle in her hande,
As soone as any knocke, if the filth be in doubte,
She needes but once puffe, and her candle is out:
Now I sir knowing of every doore the pin.
Came nicely, and said no worde, till time I was within,
And there sawe the néele, even with these two eyes.
Who ever say the contrary, I will sweare he lyes.
D. Rat.

O Diccon that I was not there, then in thy steade.

Dic.
Well, if ye will be ordred, and do by my reade.
I will bring you to a place, as the house standes.
Where ye shall take the drab, with the néele in her handes,
D. Rat.
For Gods sake do so Diccon, and I will gage my gowne,
To geve thee a full pot of the best ale in the towne,
Dic.
Follow me but a litle, and marke what I will say,
Lay downe your gown beside you, go to, come on your way:
Se ye not what is here, a hole wherein ye may creepe
Into the house, and sodenly unwares among them leape,
There shal ye finde the Bichfox, and the néele together,
Do as I bid you man, come on your wayes hether.
Dic.

Art thou sure diccon the swel tub standes not here about?

Dic.
I was within my selfe man even now, there is no doubt,
Go softly, make no noise, give me your foote sir Iohn,
Here will I waite upon you, till you come out anon.
D. Rat.

Help Diccon, out alas, I shall be slain among them,

Dic.
If they give you not the nedle, tel them that ye wil hāg them
Ware that, how my wenches, have ye caught the Foxe,
That used to make revel among your hennes and Cocks,
Save his life yet for his order, though he susteine some paine
Gogs bread, I am afraide, they will beate out his braine.
D. Rat.
Wo worth the houre that I came heare.
And wo worth him that wrought this geare,
A sort of drabs and queans have me blest,
Was ever creature halfe so evil drest?
Who ever it wrought, and first did invent it,
[Page]He shall I warrant him, ere long repent it.
I will spend I have without my skin,
But he shall be brought to the plight I'um in;
Master Bayly I trow, and he be worth his eares,
Will snaffle these murderers and all that them beares,
I will surely neither byte nore suppe
Till I fetch him hether, this matter to take up.

The v. Acte.

The i. Sceane

Master Bayly. Doctor Rat.
Bayly.
I Can perceive none other, I speke it from my hart
But either ye ar in all the fault, or els in the greatest part.
D. Rat
If it be counted his fault, besides all his greeves
When a poor man is spoyled, and beaten among theeves,
Then I confesse my fault herein, at this season,
But I hope you will not urge so much against reason:
Baily.
And me thinkes by your own tale, of all that ye name,
If any plaid the theefe you were the very same:
The women they did nothing, as your words made probation,
But stootly withstood your forciable invasion,
If that a theefe at your window, to enter should begin,
Wold you hold forth your hand, and helpe to pull him in?
Or you wold kepe him out: I pray you answere me.
D. Rat.
Mary hope him out, and a good cause why:
But I am no theefe sir, but an honest learned Clarke.
Baily.
Yea but who knoweth that, when he meets you in the dark?
I am sure your learning shines not out at your nose,
Was it any marvaile, though the poor woman arose
And strat up, being afraide of that was in hir purse,
Me thinke you may be glad that your lucke was worse.
D. Rat.

Is not this evil ynough, I pray you thinke?

Showing his broken head.
Baily.
Yea but a man in the darke of chaunces do wincke,
As soone meets his father as any other man
Because for lacke of light, decerne him he ne can,
Might it not have bene our lucke, w t a spit to have bene slain?
D. Rat.
I thinke I am little better, my scalpe is cloven to the brain,
[Page]If there be all the remedy, I know who beares the [...]ockes,
Baily.
By my trath and well worthy, besides to kisse the stockes
To come in on the backe side, when ye might go about,
I know non such, unles they long to have their braines knockt out
D. Rat.
Well, will you be so good sir, as talke with dame Chat;
And know what she intended, I aske no more but that.
Baily.
Let her be called fellow because of master doctor,
I warrant in this case, she will be hir owne Proctor,
She will tell hir owne tale in metter or in prose,
And byd you seeke your remedy, and so go wype your nose.

The vi. Acte.

The ii. Sceane.

M. Baily. Chat. D. Rat. Gammer. Hodge. Diccon.
Baily.
DAme Chat, master doctor upon you here complained
That you and your maides shuld him much misorder,
And taketh many an oth, that no word he fained,
Laying to your charge, how you thought him to murder:
And on his part againe, that same man saith furder,
He never offended you in word nor intent,
To heare you answer hereto, we have now for you sent.
Chat.
That I wold have murdered him, fye on him wretch,
And evil mought he thee for it, our Lord I beseech.
I will swere on all the bookes that opens and shuttes
He faineth this tale out of his owne guttes,
For this seven weekes with me, I am sure he sat not downe
Nay ye have other minions, in the other end of the town,
Where ye were liker to catch such a blow,
Then any where els, as farre as I know.
Baily.

Be like then master Doctor, your stripe there ye got not.

D. Rat.
Think you I am so mad, that where I was bet I wat not?
Will ye beleve this queane, before she hath tryd it?
It is not the first dede she hath done, and afterward denide it.
Chat.

What man, will you say I broke your head?

D. Rat.

How canst thou prove the contrary?

Chat.

Nay how protest thou that I did the deade?

D. Rat.
Too plainly, by S. Mary.
This profe I trow may serve, though I no word spoke.
Showing his broken head.
Chat.
[Page]
Because thy head is broken, was it I that it broke:
I saw the Rat I tel thee, not once within this fornight.
D. Rat.
No mary, thou sawest me not, for why thou hadst no light,
But I felt thee for all the darke, beshrew thy smothe cheekes,
And thou groped me, this wil declare, any day this six weekes
Showing his head.
Baily.

Answere me to this M. Rat, when caught you this harme of yours?

D. Rat.

A while a go sir, god he knoweth, w tin les thē these ii. hours.

Baily.
Dame Chat was there none with you? (confesse I faith) about that season.
What woman, let it be what it wil, tis neither felony nor treason
Chat.
Yes by my faith master Baily,, there was a knave not farre
Who caught one good Philup on the brow with a dore barre
And well was he worthy, as it semed to me,
But what is that to this man, since this was not be?
Baily.

Who was it then? lets here.

D. Rat.
Alas sir, ask you that?
Is it not made plain inough by the own mouth of dame chat?
The time agreeth, my head is broken, her tong cannot lie,
Onely upon a bare, nay she saith it was not I.
Chat.
No mary was it not indeed, ye shal here by this one thing,
This after noon a friend of mine for good wil gave we warning
And bad me wel loke to my ruste, and all my Capons pennes,
For if I toke not better heed, a knave wold have my hennes,
Then I to save my goods, toke so much pains as him to watch
And as good fortune served me, it was my chance him for to catch
What strooks he bare away, or other what was his gains
I wot not, but sure I am, he had something for his pains.
Baily.

Yet telles thou not who it was.

Chat.
Who it was? a false theefe,
That came like a false Foxe, my pullain to kil and mischeefe.
Baily.

But knowest thou not his name?

Chat.
I know it, but what than?
It was that crafty cull yon Hodge my gammer gurtons man.
Baily.
Cal me the knave hether, he shall sure kisse the stockes.
I shall teach him a lesson for filching hens or cocks.
D. Rat.
I marvail master Baily, so bleared be your eyes.
An egge is not so full of meat, as she is full of lies:
When she hath plaid this pranke, to excuse all this geare,
[Page]She layeth the fault in such a one, as I know was not there.
Chat.

Was he yot there? loke on his pate, that shalbe his witnes,

D. Rat.

I wold my head were halfe so hole, I wold seek no redresse.

Baily.

God blesse you gammer Gurton.

Gam.

God dilde you master mine.

Baily.
Thou hast a knave w tin thy house, hodge, a servant of thine.
They tell me that buste knave, is such a filching one,
That Hen, Pig, Goose, or Capon, thy neighbour can have none
Gam.
By god cham much ameved, to hear anie such report:
Hodge was not wont ich trow, to have him in that sort.
Ch.
A theevisher knave is not on live, more filching, nor more false,
Manie a truer man then he has hanged up by the halse.
And thou his dame of all his theft, thou art the sole receaver,
For hodge to catch, and thou to keep, I never knew none better
Gam.
Sir reverence of your masterdome, and you were out of doore,
Chold be so bold for all hir brags, to call hir arrant whore.
And ich knew Hodge so bad as tow, ich wish me endlesse sorrow
And chould not take the pains, to hāg him up before to morow.
Chat.

What have I stoln from the or thine thou ilfavored old trot?

Gam.
A great deal more (by God blest) then chever by the got,
That thou knowest well I need not say it.
Baily.
Stoppe there I say,
And tell me here I pray you, this matter by the waie:
How chaunce hodge is not here? him wold I fain have had.
Gam.

Alas Sir, heel be here anon, ha be handled too bad,

Chat.
Master Baily, sir ye be not such a fool well I know,
But ye perceive by this lingring, there is a pad in the straw.
Thinking that Hodge, his head was broke, and that gammer
Wold not let him come before them.
Gam.

Chil shew you his face ich warrant the, lo-now where he is.

Baily.
Come on fellow, it is told me thou art a shrew iwysse.
Thy neighbours hens y u takest, and plaies the two legged fore
Their chikens, & their capons too, & now and then their Cocks
Hod.

Ich defy them all that dare it say, chame as true as the best,

Baily.

Wart not-y u take within this hour in dame chats hens nest?

Hod.

Take there, no master chould not dot for a house ful of gold.

Chat.

Thou art the devil in thy cote, swarthis I dare be bold.

D. Rat.
Swear me no swearing quean, the devil he geve the sorrow,
As is not worth a gnat, thou canst swear till to morrow.
[Page]Where is the harme he hath? shew it by gods bread,
Ye beat him with a witnes, but the stripes light on my head.
Hod.
Bet me, gogs blessed bodie, chold first ich trow have burst the,
Ich think and chad my hands loose callet chould have crust the.
Chat.
Thou shirte knave I trow y u knowest y e full weight of my fist
I am fowlie deceived, unles thy head and my door bar kiste.
Hod.

Hold thy chat whore y u criest so loud, can no man els be hard?

Chat.

Well knave, & I had the alone, I wold surelie rap thy costard.

Baily.

Sir answer me to this, is thy head whole or broken?

Chat.

Yea master Baily, blest be everie good token.

Hod.
Is my head whole? ich warrāt you, tis neither scurby nor scald,
What you foul beast, does think tis either pild or bald?
Nay ich thank god, chil not for all that thou maist spend,
That chad one scab on my narse, as brode as thy singers end.
Baily.

Come nearer here.

Hod.

Yes that ich dare.

Baily.
By our Lady here is no harme,
Hodges head is hole enough, for all dame Chats charme:
Chat.
By gogs blest, how ever the thing he clockes or smolders,
I know the blows he bare awaie, either w t head or shoulders,
Camest y u not knave within this hour, creeping into my pens,
And there was caught within my house, groping among my hens?
Hod.
A plage both on thy hens & thee, a cart whore, a cart,
Chould I were hāged as hie as a tree, & chware as false as y u art
Geve my gammer again her washical y u stole away in thy lap.
Gam.
Yea master Baily there is a thing, you know not on may hap
This drab she kepes away my good, y e devil he might her snare
Ich pray you that ich might have a right action on her.
Chat.
Have I thy good old filth, or any such old sowes?
I am as true, I wold thou knew, as skin between thy browes,
Gam.

Many a truer hath been hang'd, though you escape the danger

Chat.

Thou shalt answer by gods pitie for this thy foul slaunder.

Baily.

Why, what cā ye charge hir withal? to say so, ye do not wel,

Gam.

Mary a vengeance to hir hart, the whore has stoln my néele.

Chat.
Thy nedle old witch, how so? it were alms thy scul to knock,
So didst thou say, the other day, that I had stoln thy Cock,
And rosted him to my breastfast, which shall not be forgotten;
The devil pul out thy lying tong, and teeth that be rotten.
Gam.
Geve me my néele, as for my cocke, chould be verie loth
[Page]That chuld here tell be shuld hang on thy false faith and troth.
Baily.

Your taske is such, I can scarse learn who shuld be most in fault

Gam.

Yet shall ye find no other wight, save she, by bred & salt

Baity.
Kepe ye content a while; se that your tonges ye hold,
Me thinks you shuld remember, this is no place to scolde,
How knowest thou gammer gurton, dame Chat, thy nedle had?
Gam.

To name you sir the partie; chould not be verie glad

Baily.

Yea but we must needs hear it, and therefore saie it boldlie.

Gam.
Such one as told the tale, full soberlie and coldlie,
Even he that loked on, will swear on a booke,
What time this drunken gossip, my fai [...] long néele up tooke,
Diccon (master) the Bedlam, cham ve [...] sure ye know him.
Baily.
A false knave by Gods pitie, ye were but a fool to trow him,
I durst aventure well the price of my best cap,
That when the end is known, all will turn to a jape.
Told he not you that besides, she stole your Cocke that tide?
Gam.
No master, no indeed, for then he shuld have lied,
My cocke is I thanke Christ, safe and well a fine.
Chat.
Yea but that ragged colt, that whore that tib of thine
Said plainlie thy cocke was stolne, and in my house was eaten,
That lying cut is lost, that she is not swinged and beaten,
And yet for all my good name, it were a small amends;
I picke not this geare (hearst thou) out of my fingers ends.
But he that hard it told me, who thou of late didst name,
Diccon whom all men knows, it was the verie same:
Baily.
This is the case, you lost your nedle about the dores,
And she answers again, she hase no cocke of yours;
Thus in your talke and Action, from that you do intend,
She is whole five mile wide, from that she doth defend:
Will you say she hath your Cocke?
Gam.

No mery sir that chil not,

Baily.

Will you confesse hir neele?

Chat.

Will I? no sir will I not.

Baily.

Then there lieth all the matter.

Gam.
Soft master by the way,
Ye know she could do little, and she could not say naie.
Baily.
Yea but he that made one lie about your cocke stealing,
Will not sticke to make another, what time lies be in dealing.
I wéene the end will prove this brawle did first arise,
[Page]Vpon no other ground, but onely Diccons lies.
Chat.
Though some be lies as you belike have espied them
Yet other some be true, by proofe I have wel tried them
Baily.

What other thing beside this dame Chat?

Chat.
Mary sir even this,
The tale I tulde before, the selfe same tale it was his,
He gave me like a frende warning against my losse,
Els had my hens been stoln, eche one, by Gods crosse.
He tolde me Hodge wold come, and in he came indeed,
But as the matter chaunsed, with greater hast then speed.
This truth was [...]id, and true was found, as trulie I report.
Baily.

If Doctor Rat [...]e not deceived, it was o' another sort.

D. Rat.
By Gods mother thou and he, be a cople of su [...]tle foxes,
Between you and Hodge, I bear awaie the boxes.
Did not diccō apoint the place, wher y u shuldst stād to meet him?
Ch.

Yes by the masse, & if he came, bad me not sticke to speet hym.

D. Rat.
Gods sacrament the villain knave hath drest us round about,
He is the cause of all this brawl, that dirty shitten loute:
When gammer gurton here complained, & made a ruful mone,
I heard him swear y t you had gotten hir nedle that was gone.
And this to try he furder said, he was full loth how be it,
He was content small ado, to bring me where to see it.
And where ye sat, he saith full certian, if I wold folow his read,
Into your house a privie waie, he wold me guid and lead.
And where ye had it in your hands, sewing about a clowt,
And set me in the backe hole, therebie to finde you out:
And whiles I sought a quietnes, creeping upon my knees,
I found the weight of your door bar, for my reward and fees.
Such is the lucke that some men gets, while they begin to mel,
In setting at one such as were out; minding to make all well:
Hogd.
Was not well blest gāmer, to scape y e scour & chad ben there,
Then chad ben drest be like, as ill by the masse, as gaffer vicar.
Baily.
Mary sir, here is a sport alone, I loked for such an end,
If diccon had not plaied the knave, this had ben sone amend.
My gammer here he made a fool, and drest hir as she was,
And goodwife Chat he set to scodl, till both parteis, cried alas.
And D. Rat was not behind, whiles Chat his crown did pare,
I wold the knave had bē starke blind, if hodge had not his share.
Hod.
Cham meetlie wel sped alredie amongs, cham drest like a coult
[Page]And chad not had the better wit, chad been made a doult.
Baily.

Sir knave make hast diccō were here, fetch him where ever he be,

Chat.

Fie on the villian, fie, fie, that makes us thus agree.

Gam.

Fie on him knave, with all my hart, now fie, and fie again,

D. Rat.

Now fie on him may I best saie, whom he hath almost slain

Baily.
Lo where he commeth at kand, belike he was not fare,
Diccon here be two or three, thy companie cannot spare.
Dic.

God blesss you, and you maie be blest so manie all at once,

Chat.
Come knave, it were a good deed to gled the by cockes bones.
Seest not thy handiwarke, sir Rat can you forhear him?
Dic.
A vēgeance on those hands life, for my hāds cam not neer him
The horsen priest hath lift the pot in some of these alewives chaires.
That his head wold not serve him belike, to come down the staires.
Bai.
Nay soft, thou maist not plaie the knave, & have this language to
If thou thy tong bridle a while; the better maist thou do.
Confesse the truth as I shall ask, and cease a while to fable,
And for thy fault I promise the, thy handling shalbe reasonable.
Hast thou not made a lie or two, to set these two by the ears?
Dic.
What if I have? five hundred such have I seen within these seven years:
I am sory for nothing else but that I see not the sport,
Which was between them whē they met, as they themselves report.
Bay.

The greatest thing master rat, ye se how he is drest,

Dic.

What devil need he be groping so deep, in goodwife Chat hēs nest

Baily.

Yea but it was thy drift to bring him into the briars

Dic.
Gods bread, hath not such an old fool wit to save his ears?
He showeth himself herein you see, so verie coxe,
The Cat was not-so madly alured by the Foxe,
To run into the snares, was set for him doubtlesse,
For he leapt in for mice, and this sir John for madness.
D. Rat.
Well and ye shift no better, ye losel, lither, and lasie,
I will go near for this, to make ye leape at a Dasie.
In the kings name master Baily, I charge you set him fast,
Dic.

What fast at cards or on sleep? it is the thing I did last.

D. Rat

Nay fast in fetter false varlet, according to thy deeds

Baily.
Master doctor there is no remedy, I must intreat you needs
Some other kinde of punishment,
D. Rat.
Nay by all Halows
[Page]His punishmēt if I may judge, shalbe naught tis but the gallous
Baily.

That were too sore, a spiritual man to be so extream.

D. Rat.

Is he worthy any better, sir how do you judge and deam?

Baily.

I graunt him worthy punishment, but by no wise so great.

Gam.
It is a shame ich tell you plain, for such false knaves intreat
He has almost undone us all, that is as true as steel:
And yet for all this great add, cham never the nere my néele.
Baily.

Canst y u not say any thing to that diccon, with least or most:

Dic.

Yea mary sir, thus much I can say well, the néele is lost.

Baily.

Nay canst not thou tell which way that nedle may be found?

Dic.

No by my fay sir, though I might have an hundred pound.

Hodg.

Thou lier lickdish, didst not say the néele wold be gitton?

Dic.
No hodge, by the same token you were at that time beshitten,
For fear of Hobgobling, you wot well what I mean;
As long as it is sence, I fear me yet ye be scarce clean.
Baily.
Well master rat, you must both learn, & teach us to forgeve,
Since Diccon hath confession māde, and is so clean shreve,
If ye to me consent, to amend this heavie chaunce,
I will injoyn him here some open kind of penaunce:
Of this condition, where ye know my fee is twenty pence,
For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here to dispence;
Ye shall go quite, so that ye graunt the matter now to run,
To end with mirth emong us all, even as it was begun.
Chat.
Say ye master vicar, & he shall sure confes to be your detter,
And all we that be here present, will lobe you much the better.
D. Rat.
My part is the worst, but since you all hereon agree,
Go even to master Baily, let it be so for me.
Baily.

How saiest thou diccon, art content th [...]s shall on me depend?

Dic.

Go to M. Baily, say on your mind, I know ye are my frend.

Baily.
Then marke you well, to recompence this thy former action,
Because thou hast offended all, to make them satisfaction;
Before their faces here kneel down, and as I shall the teach,
For thou shalt take an othe of hodges leather breach,
First for master Doctor, upon pain of his cursse,
Where he will pay for al, thou never draw thy pursse:
And when ye meet at one pot, he shall have the first pull,
And thou shalt never offer him the cup, but it be full.
To goodwife chat thou shalt be sworn, even on the same wise,
If she refuse thy money once, never to offer it twise.
[Page]Thou shalt be bound by the same here, as thou dost taken
When thou maist drinke of free cost, thou never forsake it:
For gammer gurtons sake, again sworne shalt thou be.
To helpe hir to hir nedle again if it dolie in thee,
And likewise be bound, by the vertue of that
To be of good abering to Gib hir great Cat:
Last of all for Hodge, the othe to scanne,
Thou shalt never take him for fine gentleman.
Hogd.

Come on fellow Diccon, chalbe even with thee now,

Baily.

Thou wilt not sticke to do this Diccon I trow,

Dic.
No by my fathers skin, my hand down I lay it?
Loke as I have promised, I will not denay it,
But Hodge take good heed now, thou do not beshite me.
And gave him a good blow on the buttocks.
Hodg.

Gods hart thou false villain dost thou bite me,

Baily.

What Hodge doth he hurt the or ever he begin?

Hodg.
He thrust me into the buttocks, with a bodkin or a pin,
I say Gammer, Gammer?
Gam.

How now Hodge, how now?

Hodg.

Gods malt Gammer gurtons.

Gam.

Thou art mad ich trow.

Hodg.

Will you see the devil Gammer?

Gam.

The devil sonne, god blesse us.

Hodg.

Chould iche were hanged Gammer.

Gam.

Mary se ye might dresse us.

Hodg.

Chaue it by the masse Gammer

Gam.

What, not my néele Hodge?

Hodg.

Your neele Gammer, your néele.

Gam.

No fie, dost but dodge.

Hodg.

Cha found your neele Gammer, here in my hand be it

Gam.

For all the lobes on earth Hodge, let me see it.

Hadg.

Soft Gammer.

Gam.

Good Hodge.

Hodg.

Soft ich say, tarie a while.

Gam.

Nay sweet Hodge say truth, and not me begile.

Hodg.

Cham sure on it, ich warrant you, it goes no more astray

Gam.

Hodge when I speak so fair: wil still say me nay?

Hodg.
Go near the light gammer, this well in faith good lucke:
Chwas almost undone: twas so far in my buttocke
Gam.
[Page]

Tis mine own dear néele Hogde, sikerly I wot,

Hodge

Cham I not a good sonne gammer, cham I not?

Gam.

Christ blessing light one thee, hast made me for ever,

Hodge

Ich knew that ich must finde it, els chould a had it never.

Chat.
By my troth gossip gurton, I am even as glad,
As though I mine own selfe as good a turn had:
Baily.
And I by my conscience, to see it so cone forth,
Rejoyce so much at it as three nedles be worth.
D. Rat.

I am no whit sorry to see you so rejoyce,

Dic.
Nor I much the glader for all this noice.
Yet say gramercie Diccon, for springing of the game,
Gam.
Gramercie Diccon twentie times; o how glad cham.
If that chould do so much, your masterdome to come hether,
Master Rat, goodwife Chat, and Diccon together:
Cha but one halfpeny, as far as iche know it,
And chil nor rest this night till iche bestow it.
If ever ye love me, let us go in and drinke,
Baily.
I am content if the rest thinke as I thinke.
Master Rat it shalbe best for you if we so do,
Then shall you warme you and drest your selfe too.
Dic.
Soft sirs, take us with you, the company shalbe the more,
As proude comes behinde they say, as anie goes before,
But now my good masters since we must be gone,
And leave you behinde us, here all alone▪
Since at our last ending, thus mery we be,
For Gammer Gurtons nedle sake, let us have a plaudity.
FINIS.

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