THE Fatal Marriage: OR, THE Innocent Adultery.
A PLAY, Acted at the THEATRE ROYAL, BY Their Majesties Servants.
Written by THO. SOUTHERNE.
LONDON, Printed for Jacob Tonson, at the Judges Head near the Inner-Temple-Gate in Fleetstreet, 1694.
TO Ant. Hammond Esq OF SOMERSHAM-PLACE.
I Have so many Obligations upon me, that to bring in a fair Account of my Debts, is all that lies in the present power of my Honesty: In the first place, I thankfully confess my self indebted to the good nature of the Town in general: then, in the deepest sense of my gratitude, I acknowledge the Indulgence, and Patronage of particular Men of Quality, who were almost industrious, and contriving for the Fortune of this Play; to make it Considerable to the World, in its Reputation; and to Me, in the Profit of the Third Day. I think it becomes every Mans Character to be pleased with pleasing others; and I know, that to be pleas'd is full as much as I ought to be, upon the success of any thing, that I can attempt in this kind; my Poetry will never run away with me; but the good fortune of finding so many Honourable Patrons, I must confess, has transported me; and if I am a little vain now, 'tis from their good Opinion of me, and not from what I think of my self. I took the Hint of the [Page] tragical part of this Play, from a Novel of Mrs. Behn's, called The Fair Vow-Breaker; Tou will forgive me for calling it a Hint, when you find I have little more than borrowed the Question, how far such a distress was to be carried, upon the misfortune of a Womans having innocently two Husbands, at the same time. I have given you a little taste of Comedy with it, not from my own Opinion, but the present Humour of the Town: I never contend that, because I think every reasonable Man will, and ought to govern in the pleasures he pays for. I had no occasion for the Comedy, but in the three first Acts, which Mrs. Bracegirdle particularly diverted, by the beauty, and gayety of her Action; and though I was fond of coming to the serious part, I should have been very well pleas'd (if it had been possible to have woven her into that Interest) to have had her Company to the end of my Journey. I could not, if I would, conceal what I owe Mrs. Barry; and I should despair of ever being able to pay her, if I did not imagine that I have been a little accessary to the great Applause, that every body gives her, in saying she out-plays her self; if she does that, I think we may all agree never to expect, or desire any Actor to go beyond that Commendation; I made the Play for her part, and her part has made the Play for me; It was a helpless Infant in the Arms of the Father, but has grown under her Care; I gave it just motion enough to crawl into the World, but by her power, and spirit of playing, she has breath'd a soul into it, that may keep it alive. I hope I have, in some measure, discharged my self to the Publick; but for fear of the worst, Sir, I have brought You for my Security, because I always found You in Nature enclining to be responsible for Your Friends; You have allowed me that Title, and I thank You for it; but I value my self upon Your being as heartily disposed to give it, as I was desirous to receive it. I cannot but remember some Passages, that would become Your Character, and this Dedication of my Friendship to You; but I must be silent; and 'tis the hard part of Your Favours, that You won't allow 'em to be acknowledged. I can never speak enough to my Obligation, and never little enough to Your Modesty; when I would be Grateful, I shall be Troublesom; and I know you too well, to think You will be pleased with what I can publickly say of You. Every Man, who knows You, will think I say very little, and they, who are to know You, will find I have [Page] said nothing. You are rising upon the World, and every Creature is the better for You, that's near You; and as Juvenal says of his Emperor, Sat. 7. Materiamque tibi vestra indulgentia quaerit. I may speak of Your Virtues, and good Qualities, though You wont allow me to be a Witness to the World of the frequent Occasions You have found out to employ 'em. If Generosity with Friendship, Learning with Sound Sense, True Wit, and Humour with good Nature, be Accomplishments to Qualifie a Gentleman for a Patron, I am sure I have lit right on Mr. Hammond. I have reason to think I have made You my Friend; and You shall have reason to believe that You have secured me to be,
To Mr. Southerne, on his PLAY, call'd, The Fatal Marriage; or, The Innocent Adultery.
PROLOGUE.
Spoken by Mrs.
Bracegirdle.
The Persons Represented.
MEN. | By |
Count Baldwin, Father to Biron, and Carlos. | Mr. Kynaston. |
Biron, Marry'd to Isabella, suppos'd Dead. | Mr. Williams. |
Carlos, his younger Brother. | Mr. Powell. |
Villeroy, in Love with Isabella, Marries her. | Mr. Betterton. |
Frederick, a Friend to Carlos. | Mr. Verbruggen. |
Fernando, Husband to Julia. | Mr. Doggett. |
Fabian his Son. | Mr. Mich. Lee. |
Jaqueline Frederick's Servant. | Mr. Bowen. |
Sampson Porter to Count Baldwin. | Mr. Underhill. |
A Child of Isabella's by Biron. | |
Bellford, a Friend of Birons. | Mr. Harris. |
Pedro, a Servant to Carlos. | Mr. Freeman. |
Isabella, Marry'd to Biron and Villeroy. | Mrs. Barry. |
Julia, VVife to Fernando. | Mrs. Knight. |
Victoria, Fernando's Daughter. | Mrs. Bracegirdle |
Nurse to Biron. | Mrs. Lee. |
Officers, Servants, Men and Women. |
The Scene Brussels.
THE Fatal Marriage; OR, THE Innocent Adultery.
ACT I. SCENE I. The Street.
SUCH an unlucky Accident! such a Misfortune!
What is't, Fabian?
A catching distemper; 'twill infect every body that comes near me: The Tokens will appear on the Faces of my Friends, in a day or two; and all the Professions they have made to my Prosperity, will cool into a Complement of Condolance; a civil Salutation of the Hat in haste; and end in the usual Form of, Your Humble Servant: with the hearty hope of never seeing me again.
This is the old quarrel between your Father and you.
Ev'n so: My liberal, conscientious, loving, welldispos'd Father has forbid me his House; and civilly desir'd me to seek my Fortune.
O, you must expect to be dis-inherited twice or thrice, to try your Obedience, before you're the better for him. But it happens unluckily at this time: What will become of the Ladies?
'Tis that troubles me: to be turn'd out of doors, when I had honestly undertaken the making my Mother-in-Law's, and Sister's Fortune, as well as my own. I have promoted the design as far as I cou'd: I hope you and Carlos will carry it on. There's a Letter from my Sister,
to desire your assistance: I think she wants nothing but an opportunity of running away with you.
That I have setled in a Letter to her.
I have contriv'd her escape: but how to send it now—
That, Sir, I think, falls under my employment: Let me alone for the Letter.
There's an old Gentleman coming this way will certainly deliver it.
Gad, and so he shall: 'tis very well thought upon: Sir, your most humble Servant. The Letter, the Letter, Sir;
I'le do your business, I warrant you.
I have left it unfortunately behind me upon my Table: Jaqueline, make haste, and bring it me.
I have it in my head to be reveng'd of this old Fellow: Run away with my Sister, be sure, whatever you do: rely upon the old Man's conscience to give her a Portion: all that I can do for you—is to pray (tho' I think there will be no great need of my Prayers) that he will never give you a Shilling.
Carlos, I suppose, knows how to behave himself between a handsome young Lady, my Mother-in-Law, and a Coxcombly old Fellow, my Father. When we are all in Rebellion, a general Pardon must follow.
Sure I saw just now a glimpse of my Rascally [Page 3] Son shoot by the corner there: Hark you, Friend, was not one Fabian with you before I came?
Your Son Fabian, Sir; he was here but just now.
My Son! hum! he may be your Son, if you like him; for I disown him.
Ay, so I hear indeed: 'tis a thousand pities, a pretty Gentleman, as he is—
A pretty Gentleman! yes, truly, he's a very pretty Gentleman: When you can find nothing that a Coxcomb is good for, but to spend money, you cry, he's a pretty Gentleman. What, I suppose you were with him last night, a Serenading (as you pretty Gentlemen call it) but in my language, 'tis catterwawling; good for nothing but to disturb a civil neighbourhood; waken our Wives into wicked wishes; and put 'em in mind of younger Fellows than their Husbands.
You mistake me, Sir—
I don't know whether I mistake you: but I'm sure, among other his enormities of last night, had not a less Rascal of the Company interpos'd, that Fabian you speak of, wou'd have carry'd me bodily away with him, in the Case of a Base Viol.
Nay then he is to blame indeed.
To blame, do you call it!
I hope I shall make you a better Son, Sir, if you please to accept of me: I have made my applications to you a great while.
Hold, hold, Sir; I have plague enough with those Children I have already; I want no more, I thank you. What, I warrant you, you'll say I have a handsom Daughter; why, very well: and every body will say I have a handsom Wife.
Yes, indeed Sir, every body must say your Wife is a very fine Lady.
O, must they so? Why how do I know then, that you han't as great a mind to my Wife, as you have to my Daughter? you look as if you wou'd rather help to bring some more Children into my Family, than take any out of it: But I shall watch you for spoiling my Wife's shape, I promise you. 'Tis very hard upon marry'd Men, that's the truth on't: 'tis [Page 4] a sin, and a shame, there shou'd be so many ways of making a Cuckold; when there are so few, or none to prevent it. Now are you going to put in a long answer to every particular, but I shall save you the trouble.
Sir, I shan't think it a trouble—
To make me a Cuckold? no, no, I believe you.
You won't understand me.
I do understand you.
Then, Sir, I leave the business entirely to your prudence, to manage according to your discretion.
Is the Devil in the Fellow? because I understand that he has a design upon my Wife, he says, he leaves me to manage it according to my discretion: Why perhaps you expect I shou'd pimp for you: Are not you a very impudent Fellow? or is this your way of proceeding with the Husbands? From this time forward you shall not so much as see my Wife through a double-barr'd window; and to put you out of all other hopes, I will marry my Daughter very shortly to a Friend of my own that will deserve her.
Will you resolve without hearing me?
Resolve! why I do resolve to have nothing to say to you; to you, nor your Rogue there, that follows you. Odd! that Fellow looks very suspiciously.
Sir, Sir, say your pleasure of my Master, or to my Master; but don't disparage my Countenance: what have you to say to my Face?
Why, I don't like it.
Nay, nay, if that be all—
But that is not all: I say moreover that you must be a very impudent Fellow, that can keep such a Face in countenance.
Sir, I wou'd have you to know, what it seems you are ignorant of, That whatever you take me to be, Sir, I am a Gentleman, Sir.
Nay, keep your distance, Friend, however. A Gentleman, say you! like enough: take a Pick-pocket into custody, and upon the first question of his Roguery, he shall [Page 5] answer, I'm a Gentleman. You never hear of a Fellow to be hang'd, tho' for stealing a clean Shirt, but he's a Gentleman; and such a Gentleman I cou'd allow you to be, if you were going to the Gallows.
What the Devil shall I do with my Letter? Sir, Sir, under your favour one word; I beg your pardon, Sir; if my Master has said any thing to disoblige you—Lord, Sir, you Lovers have bad memories—
My Master has forgot his main business with you, Sir.
You have forgot the Mony you came about, Sir.
Mony, Friend! if you come about Mony, I can hear you.
What Mony do'st talk of? I want no Mony.
Pray, Sir, pardon me; I am your Steward, and know your wants; you do want—and I want—
Pox on him, he won't apprehend me.
There's something to be done with that Letter: I don't understand him, but I'le give into't if I can—
I was loath to discover it, but the best Estates may want Mony sometimes: You shall have what Security—
I am for a Mortgage, or nothing—
What a pox do you mean, gathering about me so?
Have you a design upon my Person?
Fye, fye, Sir; well you minded what I said?
Minded what you said! I thank you, I had more occasion to mind what you did: for ought I know I may be robb'd—
Of your Daughter, in good time.
My Pockets may be pickt.
Of a short Pipe, and Iron Tobacco-Box.
Very well, Sir, this trick won't take.
Yes, but it will, Sir.
What then, you design'd to abuse me, to make me [Page 6] your Property, your Go-between? ha? what shall I do for you? have you no Commendation-token of your affection, or so, to my Wife, nor Daughter? what, you have a Letter; I know. I shall certainly deliver it.
That will be kind, indeed, when my Master sends one along with you.
At any time, at any time.
I'm glad I know the way.
By my troth, I think not, Sir; ha, ha, ha.
Do you laugh at your good Fortune already?
I beg your Pardon, Sir, but I must laugh.
Do, do, try with the silly Gentleman, your Master, whether you can laugh me out of my Daughter, or no.
I think I have bid fair for't.
'Twas pretty well towards it, to make him carry the Letter himself.
There's no danger of its miscarrying; the whole Family is in a Conspiracy against him; and whoever gets it, will deliver it to Victoria.
I know Fabian will do any thing that's mischievous to assist me: Go home, and desire him to stay for me: Behave your self handsomely in this business, and you shall be a Gentleman in earnest. Who's here? Villeroy and Carlos: here, here Jaqueline.
This constancy of yours will establish an immortal Reputation among the Women.
If it wou'd establish me with Isabella—
Follow her, follow her: Troy Town was won at last.
I have follow'd her these seven years, and now but live in hopes.
But live in hopes! why, hope is the ready Road, the Lovers baiting-place, and for ought you know, but one Stage short of the possession of your Mistress.
But my hopes, I fear, are more of my own making, than hers: and proceed rather from my wishes, than any encouragement she has giv'n me.
That I can't tell: the Sex is very various: There are no certain measures to be prescrib'd, or follow'd, in making our approaches to the Women. All that we have to do, I think, is to attempt 'em in the weakest part: Press 'em but hard, and they will all fall under the necessity of a Surrender at last. That Favour comes at once; and sometimes when we least expect it.
I shall be glad to find it so.
I'm going to visit her.
What Interest a Brother-in-Law can have with her, depend upon.
I know your Interest, and I thank you.
Be sure of me to help the Marriage forward.
Why so, Frederick, am not I a very honest Fellow, to endeavour to provide a good Husband for my elder Brother's Widow?
A very kind Relation indeed: you'll give your Consent to the Match, where you are to have the Benefit of the Bargain.
Tho' I have taken care to root her out of our Family, I wou'd transplant her into Villeroy's.
That has a face of good Nature; but it squints with both Eyes upon your own Interest.
That trick I learnt in the Schools, in your company, when I was a younger Brother, and design'd for the Church.
The Church is a very good School: there are wise Men and Fools of every Foundation: but there are Lessons for every Learner; Doctrines for all Disciples, and calculated to all capacities, to thrive or starve by, as they are able to digest 'em. The Church will teach us to rise in this World, as well as in the next, if we have but Grace to follow her Example.
I think, I have taken care to improve the Principles I receiv'd from her. What did they turn me into a Trade for, but to thrive by the Mystery? and Cheating is the Mystery in all the Professions I know of.
I have a great deal of News for you, about Fernando and his Family; the Wife and Daughter are in distress, we must have mercy on 'em.
When you have secur'd the main matter of Villeroy, and Isabella; Julia desires to fall under your consideration.
Scene 2. Fernando's House.
Here's your Father behind us.
I hope the Old Eves-dropper has not over-heard me.
Who's that dares talk of Love in my House?
It shall be Treason to mention it.
Your own jealous suspicion; here's nothing
Of Love in this House to be talkt of.
My own jealous suspicion! it may be so; however, I shall take an occasion to search my House, from the Garret to the Cellar; and if I do find any Love in it, or any thing towards, to encourage it—
In the Cellar, Sir! what shou'd you find there?
Cold Meat, and small Beer, are no great Provocatives:
Won't you allow us to Eat and Drink, Father?
To Eat and Drink, Father! thou art always cramming, by thy good will: That Jade's Gut wou'd ruine a little Fortune; wou'd any, but I, were oblig'd to provide for it. Let me see, I don't know but, in my absence, you may have let in some Rascal or another, and hid him—
Why don't you look under the Table?
There's something going forward against me, I know, Gentlewomen, by your always being together: Come, come, what's the contrivance? let me know your design, I'le tell you whether 'twill prosper, or no.
In short, Husband, I must tell you, your Jealousie has quite tir'd me, and I can live no longer under your Tyrannical Government.
Very well; mine is a Tyrannical Government:
And why, I pray? because it refuses you the priveledge of making me a Cuckold:
A pretty Priviledge truly! and you will plead it as often as you can, no doubt on't:
But I shall watch you.
Hey day! what merry Company has my Father been in?
Why, do you find me in so merry an Humor, Mistress?
The Spirit of Rebellion has been among you in my absence, to perswade you to resist my Lawful Authority: but whether that Spirit appear'd in the simple shape of a Letter only, or in the more lewd Limbs of a Lover, you know best—
I know nothing.
Look you, Wife, if there is a necessity for doing it, do it the cheapest way:
Your Expresses, your Letter-carriers, will cost Mony: Ah! wou'd I cou'd light upon one of those Letter-carriers, I wou'd so pay 'em.
Nothing, Sir, but some Fool or other has been chalking you upon the back.
O! 'twas that Rogue Frederick's Man: I felt him indeed fumbling about me when his Master whisper'd me: but I shall take an occasion to score him over the Coxcomb, when I see him agen.
Did he send it, Father?
Send what, Daughter! wou'd you have had him sent any thing? I cou'd do no more, than offer my Service. He did not like the conveyance, I suppose; and so you are disappointed.
As much as you expected, or desir'd!
What have I to do with him?
Scene 3. The Street.
Why do you follow me? you know, I am a Bankrupt every way; too far engag'd ever to make return; I own you've been more than a Brother to me, been my Friend;
[Page 11] And at a time, when Friends are found no more;
A Friend to my Misfortunes.
I must be always your Friend.
I have known, and found you truly my Friend; and wou'd I cou'd be yours: But the Unfortunate cannot be Friends: Fate watches the first motion of the Soul, to disappoint our wishes; if we pray for Blessings, they prove Curses in the end, to ruine all about us. Pray be gone, take warning, and be happy.
Well, what's to do now, I trow? you knock as loud, as if you were invited; and that's more than I hear of: but I can tell you, you may look twice about you for a Welcome in a great Man's Family, before you find it unless you bring it along with you.
I hope, I bring my Welcome along with me.
Is your Lord at home?
My Lord at home!
Count Baldwin lives here still?
Ay, ay, Count Baldwin does live here:
And I am his Porter: but what's that to the purpose, good Woman, of my Lord's being at home?
If you had enquir'd for Mrs. Comfit, the House-keeper, or had the good Fortune to be acquainted with the Butler; you might have what you came for; and I cou'd make you an answer: but for my Lord's being at home to every idle Body that enquires for him—
Why, don't you know me, Friend?
Not I, not I, Mistress; I may have seen you before, or so: But Men of Employment must forget their Acquaintance; especially such as we are never to be the better for.
Handsomer words wou'd become you, and mend your Manners,
Do you know who you prate to?
I'm glad you know me, Nurse.
Marry, Heaven forbid, Madam, that I shou'd ever forget you, or my little Jewel—
[Page 14] Now my Blessing go along with you, wherever you go, or whatever you are about. Fye, Sampson, how cou'dst thou be such a Saracen? A Turk wou'd have been a better Christian, than to have done so barbarously by so good a Lady.
Why look you, Nurse, I know you of old: by your good will you wou'd have a finger in every body's Pie, but mark the end on't; if I am call'd to acount about it, I know what I have to say.
Marry come up here; say your pleasure, and spare not. Refuse his eldest Son's Widow, and poor Child, the comfort of seeing him! she does not trouble him so often.
Not that I am against it, Nurse; but we are but Servants, you know: we must have no likings, but our Lord's; and must do as we are ordered.
Nay, that's true, Sampson.
Besides, what I did, was all for the best:
I have no ill will to the young Lady, as a body may say, upon my own account; only that I hear she is poor; and indeed, I naturally hate your decay'd Gentry: They expect as much waiting upon as when they had Mony in their Pockets, and were able to consider us for the trouble.
Why, that is a grievance indeed in great Families; where the Gifts at good times are better than the Wages:
It wou'd do well to be reform'd.
But what is the business, Nurse? you have been in the Family, before I came into the World: What's the reason, pray, that this Daughter-in-Law, who has so good a Report in every body's mouth, is so little set by, by my Lord?
Why, I'le tell you, Sampson; more nor less; I'le tell the truth, that's my way, you know, without adding, or diminishing.
Ay, marry, Nurse.
My Lord's eldest Son, Biron by Name, the Son of his Bosom, and the Son that he wou'd have lov'd [Page 15] best, if he had as many as King Pyramus of Troy.
How! King Pyramus of Troy! why, how many had he?
Why the Ballet sings he had fifty Sons: But no matter for that. This Biron, as I was saying, was a lovely, sweet Gentleman, and indeed, no body cou'd blame his Father for loving him: He was a Son for the King of Spain, God bless him; I was his Nurse. But now I come to the point, Sampson; This Biron, without asking the advice of his Friends, hand over head, as young Men will have their Vagaries, not having the fear of his Father before his Eyes, as I may say, wilfully marries this Isabella.
How, wilfully! he shou'd have had her consent, methinks.
No, wilfully marries her; and which was worse, after she had setled all her Fortune upon a Nunnery, which she broke out of to run away with him. They say they had the Churches Forgiveness, but I had rather it had been his Father's.
Why in good troth, these Nunneries, I see no good they do. I think the young Lady was in the right, to run away from a Nunnery: And I think our young Master was not in the wrong, but in marrying without a Portion.
That was the Quarrel, I believe, Sampson:
Upon this, my old Lord wou'd never see him; disinherited him; took his younger Brother Carlos into favour, whom he never car'd for before; and at last forc'd Biron to go to the Siege of Candy, where he was kill'd.
Alack-a-day, poor Gentleman.
For which my old Lord hates her, as if she had been the cause of his going thither.
A great while indeed for a young Woman, Sampson!
Gad so, here they come, I won't venture to be seen.
Why indeed, my Lord, I did as good as tell her before, my thoughts upon the matter—
Good my Lord, what I did was in perfect Obedience to the old Nurse there: I told her what it wou'd come to.
ACT II. SCENE I.
Why so I mean.
These hardships that my Father lays upon her,
I'm sorry for; and wish I cou'd prevent:
But he will have his way. Since there was nothing to be hop'd from her prosperity, the change of her Fortune may alter the condition of her thoughts, and make at last for you.
Try her agen. Women commonly love according to the circumstances they are in.
Since you are not accessary to the Injustice, you may be perswaded to take the advantage of other Peoples Crimes.
Well, all goes well, I hope.
As I cou'd wish. I can't stay with you: I must be near, if occasion be, to lend a helping hand: When this Marriage is over, I design to come in for a snack of Fernando's Family.
You Men of Intrigue are commonly lookt upon to be the idle part of Mankind, that have nothing to do: now I am of a contrary Opinion—
Why so, Jaqueline?
Because a right good Whoremaster is never at the end of his business.
How! Fabian turn'd Fryar!
As you see, Frederick; you will all come to a serious sense of your Sins, one time or other, as I have done. I have had a good Father, and I have been an [Page 22] ungracious Boy to him; that's the truth on't. Therefore to make him what satisfaction I can, for my past faults, I have taken this Habit, with an intention to pray for him—
Why thou art not mad, Fabian?
Not mad of a Monastery, I assure you. I am never the nearer being a Saint, for putting on the Habit of Piety: the Profession and the practice of it are two things in the Schools; and wise Men distinguish 'em into several Interests. In short, I have told our honest Abbot the whole History of my Father's Jealousie, Covetousness, and Hardheartedness to his VVife and Children: He, good Man, making it a point of Conscience to contribute as much as he can to a Work of Charity, has giv'n me leave to put on this Habit, for the carrying on the method of his Cure.
But what do you propose by this?
Why, I propose that every body shall be the better for it, but my Father. For, upon the credit of this my Reformation, believing, from my Cloathing, that I shall have no more occasion for the Transitory things of this VVorld, his Pocket will plead for me, and the old Fellow take me into favour agen.
That's something indeed.
Then, in the first place, if you miscarry to Night in your design upon my Sister, I shall be able to deliver a Letter, and bring it about another time.
Very well.
Secondly, I intend to put the means honestly into my Mother's hands, to make my Father a Cuckold, if she pleases.
These are very good reasons indeed, Sir.
Besides these advantages to the Publick, I have a private reason of my own, to be reveng'd upon the Person of the old Gentleman. I must not discover too much of my contrivance, for fear of lessening the pleasure in bringing it about—
[Page 23] I shall have occasion of some witty Rogue, that can be mischievous, when there's no danger: I think that's pretty near your Character, Jaqueline.
O, Sir, you do me too much Honour.
Can't you spare him a little?
Not well to Night: to Morrow—
Will do my business. I have one part of my Farce, the Fryars will scruple a little: Jaqueline must act that: The whole Fraternity are concern'd in my Plot, I assure you.
I'm glad to hear that, Sir; I love a Plot where the Clergy's concern'd: They will always be sure of the Benefit, without the danger of the beating: I am mainly of their Principles.
Scene 2. Isabella's House.
Why truly very little to the purpose: Like a Jew as he is, he says, you have had more already, than the Jewels are worth: he wishes you wou'd rather think of redeeming 'em, than expect any more Mony upon 'em.
[Page 25] Manage it, as the last remaining Friend, that would relieve us.
Heaven can only tell where we shall find another.—My dear Boy!
SCENE the Street before Fernando's House.
Well! This is the time; and that's the Window.
And here is a Ladder, to put her in mind of her fortune.
How's that, Sirrah?
Why, Lord, Sir, if the Gentlewoman be Mad enough to run away from her Father, upon your account, she'l carry the frolick a little farther, in a Fortnight, and hang her self, upon her own.
Why, you Rogue, I'm in love with her.
I am but your poor Servant, Sir, and if you command me to be believe you, 'tis another thing.
But I know what your love commonly ends in—
In what, Sir?
In a Week, Sir; but that's her business, and not mine; unless the spirit of her Revenge, rises upon the folly of her Pride, and frightens her into the consideration of your humble Servant, Jaqueline,
O! You are witty, Sir! The Window opens.
I heard a noise: I'll listen.
Victoria!—
Be sure you fasten it above.
Any thing to get loose below.
O the discretion of a Girl! She will be a Slave to any thing, that has not a title to make her one. If my Master does commit Matrimony, which he is not much addicted to, 'tis but changing a Father for a Husband: removing from one Prison to another; but that has an appearance of Liberty for the time; tho' it ends in a worse confinement at last.
My Master, Madam; what should you trust to?
You can't trust an honester Gentleman, who, to my knowledge, will more infallibly break his word with you.
Why my particular is at your Service, and pray come down, and be satisfied; Lord, here's such a-do to perswade a Woman to her Liberty.
I'm answer'd, I'm answer'd, and coming down as fast as I can: any thing to get rid of this Father.
Say you so, Gentlewoman?
Undone, and ruin'd! what shall I do?
I'll tell you what you shall do; get you in, Hussy, go.—Now will I personate this hopeful young Jade; and, by that means, discover the whole Intrigue.
What's that!
What's what? where?
You Blockhead, the noise was in the Street.— Victoria.—
I am here, my Deat.
Are you sure you are there, Madam? For my heart misgives me plaguily about this Father of yours.
Does it so, Rogue enough?
You had best make haste: Old Argus will have an Eye upon you, and then—
You'l slip your Opportunity.
I'll lay hold ont—and your Ears, when I come within reach of 'em.
Are you coming?
Now, speak softly. [Fernando goes down the Ladder.
There 'tis for you—
By my troth, and so 'tis; but not quite so soft, as might be expected from a Lady: Sure you, or I, are mistaken, Madam.
Mercy upon me! what do I see!
Why, what do you see? You see the Party you expected to see; don't you, Sirrah?
The Devil, the Devil, the Devil.
You lye, you lye, like a Rogue,
I am none of the Devil; but I will make a Devil of you before I have done with you: I'll disappoint you of a Halter, and send you a nearer way than you thought of.
Have at you.
Deliver us from a Blunderbuss.
O Lord, Sir, a thousand thanks to you: I am not perfectly satisfy'd whether he has kill'd me, or no; But if I am Dead, I shall be glad to hear the Old Rogue was hang'd for me.
Who are you, that wou'd Murder my Servant?
One that wou'd do as much for his Master.
Oh! he's the Devil of a Fellow; take care of him.
Fernando! how came you here?
Why your Mistress, and my damn'd Daughter, not being quite ready to run away with you, desir'd me to make her excuse, and come down in her room to receive you.
My reception was a little extraordinary: Pox take you.
I beg your Pardon, Gentlemen, I am a little unprovided at present to entertain you; but my Servants are up in the House, I'll get them together as fast as I can; and then you shall be sure of a welcom.
Unlucky Disappointment!
No, no, no disappointment in the World: Stay but a little, I'll bring my Daughter my self to you; you shan't be disappointed.
[Page 34] How's this! my Door open! and a Man come out of my House! Who are you? What wou'd you have? Thieves! Thieves! lay hold upon him: I charge you in the Kings Name to secure him—Thieves, Thieves—
As you are Gentlemen protect me; I am no Thief.
How do we know that, Friend? 'Tis very suspicious.—
Ay, ay, they are your Accomplices—I shall be with you—Thieves, Thieves.
If you don't find me worth your protection, when you know me, do what you please with me.
That's fair enough, Sir, we had best draw off in time; the House will rise upon us.
A Pox on this unlucky adventure. Poor Victoria, she must pay for all.
Fire, fire, you'll be burnt in your Beds; will no Body come to me?—Thieves, Thieves.
Where, where?
How came my Doors open? Where's my Wife? Bid my Daughter come down. I have lost—I don't know what I have lost. They may be Plotters against the Government for ought I know; run every way to apprehend 'em.
This way, this way.
A little of the Old Rogues broad Gold would have purchas'd your Pardon if you had Robb'd him: I was in hopes of a snack of the Plunder.
My design lay another way, I assure you.
But that we must not enquire into.
Why, faith, yes, If you please. I am so much oblig'd to you for my Deliverance, I'll make nothing a Secret to you.
Nay, Sir, if it be a Secret—
'Twere not worth telling, Sir, if it were not a Secret.
It is a Secret, indeed, as every thing ought to be, when there's a Woman in the case.
Is there a VVoman in the case then?
A very pretty Woman; but you are a Man of Honor—
That he is upon my word, Sir; my Master is as good at a Ladies Secret as you can be, and will betray it to no body—before he has discover'd it himself.
And therefore I will honestly own to you, that my business was with Victoria, Fernando's Daughter.
With Victoria!
This Fool will discover himself to his Rival.
Does Victoria know of your business?
Know of my business! Why I make Love to her. I have had an Intrigue with her these three months: I am almost tir'd of her. I lye with her every Night in her Fathers House, and the Devil's in't if she is not acquainted with my business.
It must be your fault, if she is not, that's certain.
Now you must know her Father is Jealous of every body for her, but me; there's one Frederick has a design upon her, she has given him some Encouragement of late, for the sake of her Liberty. I thank her, she has thought him fitter for the Fortune of her Husband than I shou'd be; she designs to Marry him, good Man, for her convenience; and I am to continue upon all occasions of Pleasure, as I tell you, Sir, her Ladiships humble Servant.
You will have a rare time on't with this Fool of a Husband.
I shall manage him, I warrant you; do you know him?
I have seen him.
I have the Honour to know him a little too.
Why, faith, no, I thought not
But there's no faith in Faces, you know, Sir.
It seems so indeed by what this Gentleman has told us; But Sir, do you know your Cuckold? This Frederick?
Ay, Sir, I know him
Hold up your Lanthorn Jaqueline
Bless me! who are you?
That very Man, the Frederick you speak of; your Cuckold that is to be.
Say you so, Sir, why then you are oblig'd to me for telling your Fortune beforehand; you may avoid it if you please; I have giv'n you warning.
But I must reward you for your care of me.
'Tis a pretty impudent Fellow, and I'm sorry for him.
Look you, Sir, if I believ'd any thing that you have said of Victoria, I wou'd not think you worth a beating upon her account: I wou'd leave you to your Vanity, and her to the folly of throwing her self away upon such a Rascal; but I know you lye; yet I'll use you better than you deserve—Draw—
Not in the dark; besides you are two to one. I scorn to recant what I said; and to morrow as soon as you please—
I shan't part with you so, you shall go home with me to Night, that I may be sure of you in the Morning.
With all my heart; you know me well enough, and when you see my face—
Pray let us see it—
You will believe that I am more—a—Woman of Honour, than to refuse a Gentleman any reasonable satisfaction.
May I believe my Eyes! Victoria!
Now I won't part with you, Sir, what say you? Shall I go home with you to Night, that you may be sure of me in the Morning?
I will be sure of thee to Night, Child.
No, not to Night; nothing in the dark, as I told you before.
I am confounded at your escape; your manner of making it; your Fathers coming down upon us; your Mans Clothes; and a—
Never wonder at a Womans Invention: We have Wit enough for our own Affairs, I warrant you. In a design of pleasing our selves, you find, one way or other we bring it about.
You have play'd the Rogue with me, Victoria, but I shall be reveng'd of you.
Why, you won't offer to Marry sure, after the character you have had of me?
I have had fair warning indeed, but he must have more Grace than I, who can take warning of any thing he has a mind to.
Marriage is a bold venture at the best.
But where we please our selves we venture least.
ACT III. SCENE I. Fernando's House.
HOW now, Son, what News with you? Bless you, bless you—tho' I am but in an indifferent humor, of Blessing at present.
Sir, I come out of my Duty to see you.
Why, that's well: I am lusty, as to that matter still, but your Sister, like a vagrant, a vagabond Jade, is run away from me: Let her alone, see who'll have the worst on't; thy Estate will be the better for it by some Thousands.
Alas! my Estate, Sir! I have done with the things of this World.
Nay, I don't perswade you; I wou'd not go about to alter your Holy resolution—But a Scurvy Jade! if I had known of her Disobedience a little sooner, I cou'd have the better afforded to have been kinder to thee—
You have been kinder than I deserv'd, in forgiving me.
For I am afraid I was not so kind as I shou'd have been to thee—ha?
O dear Sir.
Indeed I am; there might be faults on my side; If truth wou'd out, I believe I lov'd my Money a little too well, did I not? ha?
I did not deserve it, Sir.
But I'll make thee amends. We old Fellows seldom think of doing good for our Children, till they are out of the way of receiving it. Well, and how dost thou like a Religious Life? ha?
Very well, Sir.
Why, very well, 'tis better than rambling up and down the Town, spending thy time and Money with the Prophane. When I die, I shall leave a swinging Legacy to the Monastery, upon thy account.
Upon your own, Sir, we shall pray for you.
No, no, I'll not put you to the trouble.
And help you out of Purgatory.
Ah! my Purgatory is in this World; and a young Wife my Tormenter. Good Son call her to me.
Let me see, I have lost my Daughter, but then I have saved my Money; all Daughters are lost to their Parents, one time or other; why then the cheapest way of getting rid of 'em, is always the best for the Family. If Frederick has got her, and will play the Honourable Fool to Marry her, for Love, that is, without a Penny of Portion; he is in the way of repenting his Bargain, and not I, I take it; but then I shou'd have Married her to my old Friend Francisco—why, my old Friend Francisco is luckily rid of a damn'd young Wife, that wou'd as certainly have made him a—
A what, Husband?? as who? you are always bringing your filthy Comparisons into the Family: You put this business so often into my Head, it may [...]a [...] upon your own, one day.
Fie, fie, Wife, I did not mean thee; that undutiful Daughter of mine! was reflecting upon; [...] us! I warrant you, [...] time! We shall [...] her [...] up, full of [Page 39] the Experiment, with a pitiful Petition for Pardon, and Portion.
Not if she be wise: What Woman that has but the least sense of what it is to be happy, would not prefer want, hunger, any thing, to such an intollerable Slavery?
Why then you are of her opinion, it seems?
Have a care of making me so.
I shall have a care of other Peoples making you so.
Jealousie, and ill Usage may do much.
A good opportunity may do more.
One with the other, Husband.
Wou'd make you run away from your Husband? ha?
Ay, and run to another Man too; any thing, if my Virtue would permit me.
Your Virtue! ah! when I stand to the mercy of your Virtue, I'll be contented to fall by that folly: No, no, I have a trick worth two on't: I'll keep you out of the temptation, and then 'tis not much matter whether you have any Virtue, or no.
Pray, do, lock me up, that your Neighbours may know you dare not trust me at your Kinsmans Wedding.
Sir, you and my Mother are invited: Villeroy is your Relation, and will take it ill, if you don't go.
Yes, yes, Wife, we will go—
Or I shall be disappointed.
Hanging days are commonly Holy-days; I love to see the execution of a Husband: They have had their jest long enough upon me, I shall be glad to laugh in my turn. Besides, 'tis a publick Wedding, is it not?
Why, What's that to the purpose?
'Tis kept publickly.
Why so much the better; there's less danger of you, Wife: These publick Entertainments seldom do any body hurt, but those that make 'em. All the young Fellows I know will be designing upon the New Married Woman; you must not take it ill, Wife; every one in their turn, you have had yours already. When the Husband invites, 'tis a sort of a mannerly gratitude to be civil to his Wife.
They say indeed, whoever dances with the Bride, the Husband pays the Fidler.
Ay, ay, let 'em all dance with her, if Cuckolds would honestly declare themselves, their number would go near to keep 'em in countenance: I hope to see 'em so much in fashion, that no body may laugh at his Neighbour.
SCENE II. Isabella 's House.
You are the strangest Woman in the World, run away from your Father, and then scruple to Marry the Man you ran to!
That will admit of a scruple, Sir.
Don't you believe I love you?
O, yes, Sir, your present inclination may be good, I believe: But that present inclination, how long will it last, I beseech you?
There's a question for a Lover indeed!
When that begins to tire, as every thing is the worse for the wearing, they say, how many Husbandly reflections will you have upon the matter! You will find out a thousand pretty things you cou'd have done with my Portion; but not one civil thing with my Person, without it: The Woman, that plays the fool my way, in running from her Friends, must have more than she can carry about her, to be welcome long in a place; and Marriage is only for Life, they say.
I gad, she's in the right on't.
What can you say to this Frederick.
Nay, he can say more than I can believe, I assure you: But I won't put him to the expence of his Conscience. When I see which way my Brothers Plot works upon my Father, I shall be able to tell you more of my mind. In the mean time I have the priviledge of my disguise, to be at the Entertainment of this Wedding.
But you'll get such a habit of wearing the Breeches—
When you get me out of 'em, you must keep me out of 'em; that will be your way I believe; Not but if you care for a security, you have a pretty good one upon me.
As how pray?
Why, I have done too much with you, to do any thing with any body else; I shan't be twice run away with, I warrant you.
I have taken a great deal of pains to bring it about. The severity of my Sisters Widowhood, was the only bar to my hopes, in favour of her Son.
This Marriage has removed that.
And ruin'd 'em for ever with my Father.
How will you be able to thank 'em for the service they have done you?
The service pays it self; We are all pleas'd, I should have visited 'em with a formal Epithalamicun [...], to bless their endeavours; but I have a Sonnet is pretty well to the purpose. Strike up Boys—'Tis not much matter now, whether my Brother be alive, or no.
No news of the Bride or Bridegroom yet?
We are going to summon 'em.
By this time, I suppose, they may be glad of a handsome excuse to be rid of one another.
A SONG set by Mr. Purcell, and Sung by Mrs. Hudson.
Ah Nurse! A good Bed-fellow is a very good thing, And goes a great way—But, what, now my Lady is marry'd, I hope we shall have company come to the house: There's something always coming from one Gentleman, or other, upon those occasions, if my Lady loves Company.
Carlos, what have you done? A rising smile stole from her thoughts, just redning on her Cheek, and you have dasht it.
I am sorry for't.
My best friends will forgive me when I own I must prefer her Peace to all the world. Pray let us bury every thing that's past; look forward to the kindly coming hour. I have a prospect of sufficient Joy; wou'd you had all to entertain your hopes, and draw you on to everlasting Love.
Why, so you shall Cosin; fill some Wine.
Why, that's well said; fill some Wine. But one word with you—
I did not know you at first.
If my Father does not, I shall have the pleasure of teazing him.
Your Brother has taken care that he shall know no body.
If you had consulted me, I could have told you—
What, Cousin?
Why, that there goes a great deal of pains to keep a handsom Wife to ones self; remember I told you so.
Take care of your own, Cousin.
Why, that's true too—
Where are you? how! what have you to do with this Gentle-woman, Friend?
I wou'd have something to do with her, if you wou'd let us alone.
'Tis pity to disturb you, indeed.
'Gad so, Sir, I beg your pardon—
No harm done in the least, Sir.
You look like a civil Person—
O, a very civil Person.
You may have an Interest in the Lady, to speak a good word for me.
VVhy, so I may; I may speak a good word for you indeed. But for your comfort, I can tell you, she has the Grace never to mind what I say to her.
Then do me the courtesie to leave us together, and I shall be able to speak for my self.
I never doubted it.
I suppose you may be her Grandfather; 'tis your business, you know, to provide for your Family.
And why her Grandfather, pray?
Because you look to be about those years of discretion.
Come, you are an idle Companion, to talk at this rate to my VVife, and before my face too.
How, Sir, your VVife! is she your VVife, Sir?
I am her Husband, Sir.
I beg your pardon again, Sir; I was in hopes—
I know you were; you were in hopes to make me a Cuckold: But you are an impudent Fellow for your hopes; and so get you gone about your business. Ha! what's the matter with me?
VVhy, Husband, what's the matter?
I am so drowsie all on the sudden—
The Glass stays for you, Fernando.
I'll Drink no more. VVife, let us go home.
One Glass to the Bride, Sir.
O, are you there? You have a Daughter of mine in keeping, I take it; wish you Joy of her.
Your wishes will go a great way to't, Sir.
No farther;
they will go no farther I tell you. VVife, VVife, let us be going VVife. Sure I am Enchanted—
Come, come, Fernando, you will take your Daughter into favour I know.
Pray give me leave—
To depart in Peace.
VVhat I ought to do—
VVe shall know when he rises.
I leave you to consider it—
Upon his Pillow.
VVife, VVife, come along with me.
I'll take care of my Father; take no notice, but come as soon as you can to me.
Now, Madam, I may take care of you.
VVhat have we here?
You have not minded this poor Pageantry.
ACT IV. SCENE I. The Monastery Burying-place, Fernando's Tomb; Jaqueline, with others, Dress'd for Procession.
O, but this is carrying the jest too far; he has beaten him like a Dog.
VVhere have you buried him?
This is his Tomb.
A troublesome Companion indeed, if one knew how to be honestly rid on't: Can you advise me?
Nay, take your own way; you are past advising, it seems; for a Woman to play the Hypocrite, and counterfeit Virtue, when she has it not, is a very common thing—
But to play the Hypocrite, the wrong way!
To pretend to be a Woman of pleasure, and not have the benefit of the Character—
Is what, it seems, you are not acquainted with. But for the future, Sir, you may helieve there are Women, who won't be provoked to injure their Husbands.
Sir, there's a Letter for you at home.
The Messenger will deliver it to no body, but your self.
How, I must look about me then, I'le go with you.
Sir, Sir, I think I hear him stir in the Tomb.
We'll be within call, Jaquelin, begin as soon as you please.
Heigh ho! where am I now! who are you? what wou'd you have with me? ha!
Bless us! what do I see! appropinquote in nomine—
O good Sir! have a care of your hard words; you may raise the Devil before you'r aware of it; I have had too much of his company already.
Avaunt, speak I conjure thee; if thou art the Devil—
O, no, Sir, I am none of the Devil; though I have seen him very lately.
What art thou?
Truly that's a very hard question at present; when I was in the land of the living, my name was Fernando, an old Jealous, Covetous Fellow; but what I am in this Country, whether I am Fernando, or no—
Fernando! save thee Fernando! what coming out of thy grave!
From whence I am coming, or whither I am going, I can't tell you; but I have been in very bad Company I remember; I have seen the Devil.
Our prayers are heard; we have been fasting, and praying thee out of Purgatory, ever since thou wert buried.
Buried! have I been buried too?
And now coming by thy grave in procession, what a Miracle is wrought for thee, to bring thee to life again!
Nay, if I am alive again, 'tis a Miracle, that's certain; but are you sure I am alive?
Why, don't you find you are alive?
Alas! Sir, I have been so often mistaken of late, I don't know what to say to't; I thought I was alive in Purgatory; and stood in't a good while; but there's no contending with the Devil in his own Dominions you know; I was forc't to confess my self, at last, as dead as a Herring.
That's very true.
Ay, so it had indeed.
Yours was a very good one, I hear.
A lack a day! I am beholden to her—
They say you were jealous of her—
Indeed I am, very much beholden to her.
That you were extreamly jealous.
I'st possible!
VVhat! risen from the dead!
May I believe my Eyes?
Ay, ay, you may believe your Eyes.
The very Shrowd my Husband was buried in!
VVell enough truly Sir, for a Man, that has been buried. You look well enough, but you smell a little of the place, you come from, that I must own to you.
A day or two more had made it intollerable.
Ah, VVife! I have suffered a great deal upon your account—
Alas! upon my account!
'Tis well it has wrought that cure upon you.
Leave that to me Husband.
Fabian you look Melancholly; Don't be sorry that I am alive again: You have some Friends in the other World, that put me in mind of you: I'll settle half my Estate upon you in present; and when I die—Who's that Frederick? You Marry'd my Daughter I remember.—
Indeed, Sir, I had more Grace, than to dispose of my self without your consent; and more respect for your Family, than to Marry any Man without a Portion.
Why that's well said: You have my consent; Marry her, and I'll give her a Portion; but be sure you are as good as your word.
In what, Sir?
In making me a Grandfather: I am so over-joy'd that I am alive again, I care not how many Children I have to provide for.
You see the fruits of Jealousie.
I'll keep out of Purgatory I warrant you.
O don't name it good Son-in-Law:
I shall never get it out of my mind; that's certain.
Come my dear Wife, and Children, I owe my deliverance to your Intercession, and Piety: since you have brought me to Life again: You shall have no cause, for the future, to wish me Dead: Some fifty Years hence, I may be contented to go to Heaven; without calling by the way.
[Page 55] In the mean time, Husbands who doubt my Story,
May find in Jealousie their Purgatory.
SCENE II. The Street.
Who's there? What would you have?
Is your Lady at home, Friend?
Why, truly Friend, it is my employment to answer impertinent Questions. But for my Ladies being at home, or no, that's just as my Lady pleases.
But how shall I know, whether it pleases her or no?
Why, if you'll take my word for it, you may carry your Errand back again: She never pleases to see any body, at this time of Night, that she does not know; and, by the length of your Beard, you may be grown out of her remembrance.
But I have business; and you don't know how that may please her.
With you, Mistress, if you can help me to speak to your Lady.
Yes, Sir, I can help you, in a civil way: But can no body do your business but my Lady?
Quite contrary, I hope.
Nay, I hope so too; but my Lady was very much surpriz'd when I gave it her. Sir, I am but a Servant, as a body may say, but if you'll walk in, that I may shut the Doors, for we keep very orderly hours, I can show you into the Parlour, and help you to an answer, perhaps, as soon as those that are wiser.
SCENE III. A Bed-Chamber.
I've heard of Witches, Magick Spells, and Charms, that have made Nature start from her old course: The Sun has been Eclips'd, the Moon drawn down from her career, still paler, and subdu'd to the abuses of this under World: Now I believe all possible. This Ring, this little Ring, with Necromantick force, has rais'd the Ghost of Pleasure to my fears; Conjur'd the sense of Honour, and of Love, into such Shapes, they fright me from my self: I dare not think of them—
I'll call you when I want you.
Madam, the Gentleman's below.
I had forgot, pray let me speak with him.
This Ring was the first Present of my Love, to Biron, my first Husband: I must blush to think I have a second: Biron Dy'd (still to my loss) at Candy; there's my hope. O! Do I live to hope that he Dy'd there! It must be so: He's Dead; and this Ring left by his last breath, to some known, faithful Friend, to bring me back again.
That's all I have to trust to—
My fears were Womans: I have view'd him all: And let me, let me say it to my self, I live again, and rise but from his Tomb.
Have you forgot me quite?
Forgot you!
ACT V. SCENE I.
For I have heard, the Law says, a Woman must be a Widow, all out Seven Years, before she can Marry again, according to Law.
Ay, so it does; and our Lady has not been a Widow altogether Seven Years.
Why then, Nurse, mark my words, and say I told you so: The Man must have his Mare again, and all will do well.
Why, if he does, he is not the first Man, that has had his Wife taken from him.
For fear of the worst, will you go to the old Count, desire him to come as soon as he can, there may be mischief, and he is able to prevent it.
Now you say something, now I take you, Nurse, that will do well indeed: Mischief should be prevented; a little thing will make a quarrel, when there's a Woman in the way. I'll about it instantly.—
Pray Read it.
SIR, I find I am come home only to lay my Death at your Door: I am now going out of the World, but cannot forgive you, nor my Brother Carlos, for not hindring my poor Wife Isabella, from Marrying with Villeroy, when you both knew, from so many Letters, that I was alive.—
BIRON.
Amazement! all.
O, Carlos! are you come? Your Brother here, here in a wretched Letter, lays his Death on you, and me: Have you done any thing to hasten his sad end?