WE the Commissioners of the grand and weighty busi­nesse of Regulating the Law, which have taken no small pains in sitting all this while, with the assistance of a single-soald Minister, have at last grown big of these high and mighty Articles, and desire to be delivered of them into the World for the publick applause and consent: for by them we hope to give a free interpretation of Modern Iustice, and a strict account of the reformation of all fees, tedious demurs, and practice of Courts, that by it the Commonwealth may be eased of the burthen of unknown charges which waits upon buckeram baggs, and we richly rewarded for our sweat and travell in so acceptable and laudable a work.

• Proposall 1. That whereas all the good Laws, Statutes, and Acts of Grace in this Kingdom, have been derived clearly from Noble and Heroick Prin­ces and their free Grant; and (untill they shall be repeald by a Knack of Parliament) are the sole tye and safety of humane Society, Trade, and Traffique; It is thought fit, That the charity and love of former Kings to their Liege People, be esteemed nothing to the mercy of the State we now live under, and the famous Liberties, Properties, and Bounty of their ge­nerous Spirits we partake; And that it shall be thought reason and Law both, That an Ordinance of Parliament may take the Wall of Magna Charta, though it be in the middle of Lincolns-Inne-Fields, and in all Causes and over all Persons to be Supreme Moderator.
• [Page 2]2 That the Sword was the first inventer of Kings, and the present upholder of States and Parliaments; and therefore notwithstanding any right or equi­ty to the contrary, the Sword is the best Lawgiver; and as it has attempted already to cut off the head of the Commonwealth, so it does require all the rest of the members to an observance of his command, be it never so unjust, inhumane, cruell, sacrilegious, or prophane.
• 3 That in all administration of modern Iustice, we may be no more bound to Conscience, than Conscience is to us: for let a man look over all the A­natomy of the Law-givers, it is impossible to conjecture in what part of that body Conscience lyes.
• 4 That the Kings Bench Bar be subservient to the High Court of Iustice, in regard the one has no power but meerly to distribute Ius suum cui{que} the candid censure of the Law between man and man, the other has a Sovereign­ty above Sovereigns.
• 5 That the Court of Iniquity, alias the Chancery (where a man may be suspended and demurd in his just right from generation to generation, by the power of the purse) may be judged no more by the Keepers of the Liberties and privileges of England, but rather to be taken in its true and genuine sence by the Preservers of the controversies and sins of the people; and whereas a man after the expence of 1000 pounds to bring his sute to a hea­ring, was used to be blown off with a non-assumption of the Engagement, they shall henceforth be allowed 20 shillings towards their costs and char­ges, and the half dozen Clerks dagled gowns scowred.
• 6 That that bloody and deadly Term Murderaverunt may be looked up­on as a word in fashion, and because it concernes many of great quality, it is ordered, that it be alwaies written in Capitall Letters.
• 7 That as many as Swornaverunt themselves into the high stile of the Knights of the Post, are not a jot concerned in the Act of degrading late honours con­ferred, but this being an antient order of Knighthood, and very ready at all times through the course of these ten years past to bestead the Common­wealth upon occasion, be it therefore confirmed by all the sinnews of Law, that this Fraternity be upheld to perpetuity of ages.
• 8 That no Adjournamentums of causes shall henceforth be allowed; for suppose a man having but one poor Cot [...]agium in the world, have a sute de­pending oro Cabagio, Anglicè, a Cabbage, in Michaelmas Term, and withall a Iudgment and Execution, the Plaintiff must be constrained perhaps to wait a twelve-moneth for satisfaction, and to be paid in his own Coyn.
• [Page 3]9 That it shall be held fit in a Circult or Assize, though it become not a Judge Itinerant, with his bunch of gravity on his chin, to take bribes, yet it may be convenient that the price of a pair of gloves, called 50 peices, be deposed in his Clerks pocket to be presented to his Lordship the next mor­ning when he goes to wash his hands, that like Pilate he might purifie him­self to the world in formality and circumstance, as in the case of Martin San­dy and Steyner.
• 10 That all Attorneys of Courts errant, passant, or regardant, may no more run up their Clients with twelve-pence wet, and six-pence dry, be­sides Baytings, Breakfasts, Collations, and Banbury Cheeses; but that justice may run clear without proclivity or irregular buggering of a Coun­trymans purse, it is ordered Cum warranto that the pettifogger shall require no more than his ten groats, and if so be the free-hearted Client tickle him under the short ribs with an ordinary of boyld beef at Fetter Lane end gra­tis, it shall be thought a considerable Easeamentum of expence, and no more to be extorted for expedition.
• 11 That all dashes whatsoever used in writing shall be held for a Capitall Crime, for under the notion of a Counter stroke, the Law and Latin Cases were so martyr'd that it puzzled the worshipfull the Judges (having forgot­ten their Grammer by long experience) to understand them, and therefore it is desired, that all words be written at length, and not in figures, for the conveniency of the Benchers.
• 12 That it may be thought reason, that the word Villenagium be utter­ly expunged out of the terms of the Law, since we are all free-men and no more slaves than they which row in the Turks Galleys.
• 13 That by the motion of Mr. Peters the Term Simony may be looked upon as convenient, if not lawfull, since the first day he begun to sell the Pa­tronage of Southwales.
• 14 That the right heir at Law is he alone that is in possession, and as by the outing of the best tenure in England, we see it apparent, inter arn a silent leges, so whosoever he be that is born to an estate, unlesse he can derive his claim from the Engagement, he is no longer to be suffered by the Sheriff of the County to live in peace, till such time as he has run the gauntlop at Ha­berdashers Hall, and then he shall be freely manumitted.
• 15 That an under-Sheriff, a Jaylor, a Catch-pole, and Clerk of Assize being Individuums in natura, or termini convertibiles, shall no more be dashed in their reputation with the circumflex of a K. but rather to be considered as publique Officers which in this catch­ing [Page 4] Age ought to have a little touch of Hocus Pocus in all their perfor­mances.
• 16 That the Excize, notwithstanding there be no Law extant, or Conscience to warrant so sore an Imposition upon a Free-people, it may be thought Jure divino, because it enlarges the hawking-baggs of the Saints.
• 17 That no expedition be henceforth used in any Court, practice, or pro­cedure, but rather all delayes and labyrinths to dwindle out a Bumpkins pa­trimony to the last thrid. That the puny Clerks may be prevented in the vein of their spending-mony, and the masters of Offices may be enriched with double Fees to the capacity of buying of Bishops Lands and Fee-farm rents; Besides the Law being just shaking hands with us, it is necessary we make the most of it while it is here.
• 18 That whereas a Country Solicitor, vampt up to the singularity of a vinegar cloak, and a green bag, is wont to dun the Offices with a pitifull importunity, more especially when his Novice is at hand to quicken him with a piece of four; it is desired he may make the benefit of a fallacia signi when the Term is ended, to keep his Vnder-vamper in Town to bear his char­ges untill the poor Fellow is compelled to pawn his Cloak in Long lane to carry him home, and then take his leave with a Philosophicall Bill of Char­ges at his back like an Indenture in Folio to bemoan his Lawship to his ad­miring friends.
• 19 That the term Prerogative, being a sequestrable Phrase, a malignant and dangerous word, full of Plots and Treasons, a word pray'd and preach'd against by many wel-wishing and confiding Divines and godly Souls of this Nation, may be laid aside, and charmd into the happy conversion of the Peo­ples Birth-right. And since the Representatives of the Plebeians have the managing of all Delinquent Incumbrances, Be it proposed to be enacted and made Law That all such Tyrannicall expressions, denominations, or Inventi­ons be pocketted up, to raise the wages, salaries, stipendiaries or allowan­ces of the aforesaid Representatives from this time forth for ever­more.
• 20 That whereas Meum and Tuum have been the old Pronounes of distinguishing Titles and claims in this blind and ignorant patch of the World, in regard they are Latin, and so of grievous consequence to a People new-lighted, in respect of their alliance, relation, affinity, and consanguinity to the Pope, being their Countrey-man; Be it confirmed by a perpetuall Decree, That those words are no better [Page 5] than Iesuits, and have nothing to doe with us in the decision of Rights of the new Modell.
• 21 That the thing call'd a King, a Title of Usurpation, to whom by compulsion and imminent necessity men of greatest rank, Nobility, and Professions took most formally the Oathes of Allegiance and Su­premacy: because we that are wiser than our Fore-fathers know there is an inconvenience in having any one above us to call us to an account, or controll the liberty of our Concupiscence; It is beseech'd, that all Britain, of what tongue, language or speech soever, would be pleased to forget that obligation, and to acknowledge no Supremacy but in them­selves.
• 22 That in all Contracts, Covenants, or Agreements, it shall be consi­derable for every man to have a mentall Reservation, or intricate meaning, that upon advantages we may turn weather-cocks, and adore those mighty and modern Deities, profit, and self-ends.
• 23 That all Records or Registers of Antiquity may be burnt and imbez­zeld, for fear lest in reading and turning over those slighted and moth­eaten Papers, we may unwillingly be put in mind of a neglected and for­gotten duty and obedience to Magistracy, Ministry, nay I had almost said Soveraignty.
• 24 That every Country fellow may have the privilege of Pleading his own Cause, meerly to humour the high shooes, notwithstanding we in our known Wisdom and Integrity shall give sentence according to our under­feeling and proper discretion.
• 25 That all Committee-men shall be held forth Saints at their Death, and be enthron'd in the Church Windowes at the charge of the Parish; because they have been most eminent Instruments in the Ingrossing and Monopolizing of all Church-Lands, Gleab and Tythes.
• 26 That there may be a Provinciall Pare-royall of Iudges selected for the determining of Sutes in the same Country where they first take breath; Alwayes provided, that if the partyes be rich, fat, and well liking, and of good credit in the Sheriffs books, and withall able to endure the heat of a London Tryall, That in such cases there must and ought to be a further appeal to our Palace at Westminster, where such differences are most peculiarly required to be decided with a wet finger.
• 27 That the Oath ex Officio, or an Injunction for a man to discover [Page 6] himself against himself, has alwayes been held a most injurious Circumven­ting and unjust invention amongst Grandees, (except in matters of Seque­stration) it shall be lawfull henceforward for no man to unrip, untruss, or divulge the least syllable of his own privity or hidden knowledge of deluding, deceiving, or couzening the Commonalty, against his own Conscience.
• 28 That the damnable expensive Fees of all Offices and Officers shall be brought to an Abatamentum, and be left to the pleasure of every mans heart to gratulate and requite his Trustee; And so the Lawyers being brought into subjection to the mercy of the Bores and Swadds, they may not flaunt so stately in their Pontificalibus, being but publique servants, and a hickle of Animals, which breath by the iniquities of the Land.
• 29 That whereas Incontinence has been evermore held by the Antients a most decryed and punishable vice, and trick of youth in most Countries, it is conceived fit to be esteemed veniall, and more pardonable in this cold cly­mate; and to permit all men of experienced activity the freedom of a Wife and an Intimate, for the fructifying of the Sister-hood, and the enlargement of the number of the Geneva frie.
• 30 That the old Proverb (Change is no Robbery) be put in practice in these modern times. And whereas the grievous and mighty tax called Ship-money imposed by the Royalists hath been esteem'd Tyranny, Injustice, and Covetousness: The easie and frivolous Sess of 60000 lib. a Moneth loa­ded by the Reformed sighers and groaners shall be construed by all sorts of pay-masters a trifle, a piece of Nothingness, necessary to the supportation of the Armies, and other small disbursements, which do not amount to half the summe.
• 31 That whereas the taking up of Arms in former Ages against a Prince by his own Subjects, was by the Law found Treason; in respect that now we know he is but a man, obnoxious to death and mortality at pleasure, it shall no longer be judged Treason, but Convenience; and that such ought to be rewarded for it, under the notion of good service and gallantry.
• 32 That whereas in Case of Manslaughter, and other casuall offences, men were allowed the benefit of their Clergy, it is granted necessary in this metamorphosis of things, that no man be put to his book again, for there is hardly one in a hundred can read his neck-verse, and so many of the good Intenders to the weal-publique may incur the hazard of the hempen twist.
• [Page 7]33 That all subsizing, Querpo, gyzzard Clerks, which farm a parcell of scribling at three pence a day, shall not be suffered henceforward to lay on their Fathers allowance, and their own lamentable revenue upon a suit of Cloathes, and a Horse Coller of Ribbands: for as it is even in the grea­test order of the busling Gallants a most unseemly, ranting, loose, pro­fufely, ugly garb, to be dressed about the hips like a Morris Dancer, and to have more variety of strange colours than good conditions, it is judged commendable both in State Policy and common civility to enact, That all such which are found whifling in such antick dresses, be accounted no bet­ter than W— Masters, Tooth-drawers, and Mountebanks, from this time forth for ever more.
• 34 That all Lawyers wives which have come sneaking into the Innes of Court, with their bagg and baggage, whether it be to be proficients in their husbands absence in the practice of fee tayle, or whether it be to con­vert those gallant edifices from a Nursery of Law, to a Shambles of Laun­dry-women I know not, but is is requested to be voted, that all such pre­sumptious whipsters, with their litter and lumber, reduce themselves ei­ther into Ram-Alley, Perpool-Lane, or Castle-Yard, more fit stages for such comicall subjects, than seminaries of learning, and there to set up for themselves, where only such kind of cattell are to be expected.
• 35 That the corruption of Courts has been a most horrid and crying cri­minall in this Nation, in that the poor have been overborn by the rich in a most high way, and all by intercession of the Lady Pecunia, a Gentlewo­man much Idolized of late; It is therefore ordained, That no more money be produced to tempt the frailty of a Clerks conscience, but that every thing be carried in a round way between man and man, and by that time the Excise, Sequestration, Monthly Taxes, &c. have continued their reign over us one year more, be it accounted Treason for any Man whatso­ever to be able to off [...]r an Attorney, Solicitor, or Councell, more than his just fee, except it be a rasher of Bacon, to relish his mornings draught.
• 36 That there may be a distinction made between Clerks of the Chil­drens threes, and Stagers of the long twelves, men of the tribe of Anack in their prosession, and typlers of the stock of Benjamin, whose Goose-quill fancyes were never elevated beyond the Pernassus of a green nogging in their Masters absence. It is therefore proposed that such nyffling fellows be distin­guished by the childish wear of yallow Ribbands, from the Marshall Seni­ors with their fiery facies.
• [Page 8]37 Item, That all Indentures, Bills, Leases, Conveyances, and Bonds obligatory, shall no more be dated from the year of our Lord God, nor the Coronation of the King, but Stilo Novo, from the first day of the ele­venth moneth, in such a modell of the State Government, under the con­duct of such a party.
• 38 Item, That all Impropriations, College-holds, Lapses, or Patro­nage of Church means, be all referred to a Iury of Saints to dispose of: be­cause it is the patrimony of the elect in this world, and to sustain the indigen­cy of the Spirit of talking.
• 39 That all right might be judged by the touch-stone of affection, and if so be the Plaintiff or Defendant cannot bring proof, that he is one of such a collected Church of the marching ministry, it is fitting he should be repro­bated in Estate, as well as point of Salvation.
• 40 That no maried persons may justifie themselves by the old common Prayer Book, but he that means to be dabling with his Mistris now, must per­mit himself to be posted three severall Sundays upon the Church door, and when every Country Hogo has spent his greazy jear upon him, then he must be examined by two justices of Peace upon Oath, whether he has his and her friends consent, and then if please the parties they may go to bed together without any further ceremony. Qui aliter maritaverit perdit do­tem.
• 41 That the multiplicity of Heriotts be reduced to nothing, and the Mar­keta mulieris be set up in their place, or rather the forfeiture of that money by the occupation of the Feminine feature by the three Articles of the Lord of the Mannor.
• 42 That the Lottery and the publick Faith may walk hand in hand toge­ther from Town to Town, to see if it be possible to inveigle any more silver Spoons or Bodkins into the Common or the Commons Treasury.
• 43 That it may be lawfull for any man to Exercize, Own, Preach about, or Practise any religion, heresie, or diabolicall Tenets; That the Law may be brought into six words, Do as thou would'st be done to, that Divinity may be made mercenary, and the fundamentalls of Church and Commonwealth laid wast and abolished; That one man may be as good a Gentleman as ano­ther, and for all these, We beseech you to hear us great Lords.