WHen I consider that Nature designed us to be Friends, by making us Country­men, and that the chief design of our present meeting is to enlarge and indear [Page] [...] [Page 5] [...] [Page 6]our mutual Friendships; I cannot think of a Subject, which may yield a more suitable Entertainment than the excel­lent Vertue of Friendship, which tho seldom discoursed of from the Pulpit, is yet no inconsiderable Part of our Reli­gion; and though very rare to be met with in the World, is certainly a very great advantage, delight and ornament of human conversation.

In pursuance of this design, I here present you the fair and lively Pourtrai­cture of a true Friend, drawn by the most skilful hand, in this divine Apho­rism of the Text, wherein we may ob­serve,

1. The Essential Form or Principle of a Friend, which is Love, a true Friend will love.

2. His genuine Features or Properties which are chiefly these Two.

• 1. An immutable constancy of af­fection, He will love at all times.
• 2. A generous Faithfulness in the most needful time of trouble, He is a Brother born for adversity.

In the following discourse I shall en­deavour to draw a true Copy from this original, but more large, that its beau­ties may be more display'd to your view; and that I may not miss in the principal stroaks, I shall keep within the lines of the Text.

• 1. I shall describe that love which constitutes a true Friend.
• 2. I shall represent those admirable Properties of an immutable constancy of affection and a generous faithfulness in a time of adversity, which complete and adorn him.
• 3. I shall review the draught in some useful reflections.

1. I begin to describe that Love, which frames and constitutes a true friend. It must be premis'd, that I do not here consider a Friend in that large Sense, wherein the vulgar apply the Name to any Neighbour or Acquain­tance, that is not an Enemy; but in the strictest Sense, as he is denominated such from that particular vertue, which we [Page 8]properly call by the Name of Friend­ship; and of this I design to discourse rather according to the Principles of our Religion, than the mean and imperfect Notions of the antient Moralists. That this friendship is a genuine Off-spring of Love, is too evident to need a proof; and what kind or sort of love it is, which properly assumes the form and name of Friendship, we shall easily discover, by observing some of those modifications whereby the great and eminent grace of Christian Charity, brancheth it self in­to a great variety of particular Virtues, and among the rest into this of Friend­ship: Such are the various objects a­bout which it is conversant; the diffe­rent degrees to which it is advanced, and the several good Offices in which it is imployed: In a distinct view of these we shall discern, how love is shap'd and determined into the Specifick form of Friendship.

1. We observe that Love takes up various forms and names, from the va­rious [Page 9]object to which it is addressed, as the Sea takes different Names from the several shoars it salutes. Thus Love, as it looks upward to Superiors is piety to a Parent, duty to a Governour, and gratitude to a Benefactor; as it looks downward on Inferiors, it becoms mer­cy to an Offender, charity to the Indi­gent, and pitty to the Distressed; as it looks round about on equals, we call it kindness; and if among these it meets with any fitly qualifi'd to reciprocate the Offices of kindness, it becomes Friendship.

The principal qualification which fits a Person to become an Object of Friendship, is moral goodness, espe­cially, that he be competently indued with probity and integrity, with true wisdom and courage, with ingenuity and Modesty, with meekness and humi­lity, with a large Soul and a tender Heart, with a pleasant Temper and a cheerful Spirit; for if these dispositions be want­ing, either we shall not love, or our love must be call'd by some other name [Page 10]than friendship. Yet this is not all, for there will be farther requisite such a combination of external Circumstances, as may fit a Person for maintaining an actual intercourse of Friendship. For tho we cannot but love and honour e­very vertuous Man we see and hear of, yet we contract our Friendships only with those who are plac'd within the Sphere of our acquaintance, who are most like us in age, temper and condi­tion of Life; who may be most nearly adapted to us as a second self, and with whom we may have the most frequent, intimate, and delightful, as well as the most useful conversation.

It may be necessary to add, that tho Friendship doth thus contract our Love to a few select Objects, yet it will no way impair or hinder the great Duty of Christian Charity, or make any Schisms or Factions among Christian Brethren; for Christian Charity can, like the Sun, shine on all Mankind, tho it strike on some with a more direct and warmer [Page 11]Ray; or like a well-drawn Picture, it can cast a look on all about it, not over­looking an Enemy or a Stranger, tho it may have a peculiar aspect for a Friend, who is situated in the fitted Place and distance to it. The great Apostle sup­poseth a different communication of Love, in that advice, 6 Gal. 10. As we have opportu­nity let us do good to all men, especially to those who are of the houshold of Faith. And with parity of reason we may determine, that we may be differently affected to­ward our? Brethren of the same hous­hold, as they differently excel in Chri­stian Virtues, and as Circumstances con­spire to make us a fitter opportunity for maintaining an Intercourse of Friend­ship with them.

We observe also that Love as­umes different shapes from the diffe­rent degrees to which it is advanced; and thus that Love which in a remiss degree is but ordinary kindness and common civility, is by higher degrees exalted up into the fervour of Friend­ship. The Love of Friendship cannot [Page 12]but be thus intensely great, it being founded on true Vertue; which is the most excellent kind of goodness, and the highest incentive of Love; it being al­so contracted to a few, and mutually reflected, all which will conspire to in­crease its ardors. And we can suppose nothing less sufficient to transform friends into so near a likeness, to incline them to one another with so passionate an affection, to yield them so delight­ful a complacency in their mutual Soci­ety, or to ingage them in so many ha­zards and hardships in serving each o­thers Interests. The Philosophy of the Antients describes this Love of Friend­ship in such transcendent heights, as if it could not only mingle the concernments of Friends in a common Interest, but al­so unite their Souls into one Person. And the account we have of it from the Holy Scriptures will little abate the Hy­perbole; Solomon brings a Friend as near as a Brother in the Text; and elsewhere tells us, 18 Pr. 24. that he will stick closer than a [Page 13]Brother. David professeth that Jonathans friendship to him was wonderful, 2 Sam. 2.26. 13 Deu. 6. passing the love of Women. And God himself, in cautioning Israel against the enticements of those who were like to have the high­est ascendent over them placeth a Friend in the highest rank, above a Brother, or Son, or Daughter, or the Wife of the Bosom, and calls him, a Friend which is even as thy own Soul. 41 Is. 8. 33 Ex. 11. And hence it is, that God expresseth his singular love to A­braham and Moses, by calling them Friends; and by the same Name also, the incom­prehensible height of our Blessed Savi­ours love to his Church, is sometimes expressed in the Canticles and in the New Testament, 5. Cant. 1, 15. John 14, 15.

And I may add, tho our blessed Lord hath, by a new Commandment, advan­ced the common love of Christians, so far above all that was practised among Jews or Gentiles, as to become the distin­guishing Character of all his Disciples; yet still we must allow Christian friend­ship to superadd as much to Christian [Page 14]love, as common friendship us'd to do to the love of Nature. If therefore St. Peter exhorts all Christians to have fer­vent Charity among themselves, how in­tensely great must be the love of Chri­stain Friends?

3. We observe farther, 1 Pet. 4. S. that Love takes up various Names from the varie­ty of good Offices, in which it is im­ploy'd; for as it bears injuries, we call it Meekness, and as it forgives them we call it Mercy; as it pitties the distressed we call it Compassion, and as it relievs them we call it Charity; and when be­side all other Offices, it attends to the intimate privacies and peculiar concern­ments of a Friend, we call it Friend­ship. The power of Friendship is e­qual to its love, and as this includs all in­ferior degrees, and exceeds them too, so will that perform all common kind­nesses, and outdo them also. It would be strange indeed, if that Love which can shew mercy to an Enemy, pitty to a Stranger, and kindness to a Neighbour, [Page 15]should not be ready to do as much and more for a Friend.

True friendship is the most officious thing in the World, it will disdain no Offices as too mean, decline none as too difficult; it will not only take, but seek all opportunities of doing good, and reward it self with the delights and plea­sures of such kind employments. It makes but one exception to this general rule, that it be put on no Services incon­sistent with that Vertue, on which its very life and being depends. It will engage a Man to do any thing for his Friend, but to commit a sin; to follow him into any danger, but into no Vice. And therefore, when Pericles desir'd his Friend to bear a false Testimony for him, and he consented to serve him [...] He is justly censur'd by the Moralist, for coming too near the Al­tar. And in a like case the Oratour cen­sures the ill conduct of those, who were betrayed by their Friendships, into Fa­ctions and Conspiracies against the Com­mon-wealth.

But beside all other common Offices of Love, Friendship hath its own pro­per Province, within which it performs some peculiar Offices, which are im­practicable to any other love.

Every Man is conscious of some con­cernments which lie deepest and closest to him, which are too great for his own thoughts to manage, which yet fall un­der the cognizance of no Relation or Society but this of Friendship. He may have some secreets too big for his own Bosom, which he can no where lodge with safety, but in the breast of a Friend; He may have some designs fit only to be intrusted to the sincerest Friendship; He may have some Infirmities, which he dare not expose to any severer eye than that of a Friend, He may have some in­ward wounds, which can bear no air or touch, but the softest breath and gen­tlest hand of a Friend; He may need such caution or advice, such comfort or assistance, as none could, or would give but a faithful Friend.

In such cases Friendship discovers its own proper excellency and usefulness, in providing a safe Closet for our choi­cest secrets, a Soveraign balm for our deepest wounds, in resolving our doubts, correcting our errors, advi­sing our affairs, communicating in our most secret joys to double them, and in our most silent sorrows to lessen them, and performing all this with such propensness and sincerity, that even self-love could hardly equal it. Such kind Offices Job expected of his Friends, but in vain, when he cryed out, To him that is afflisted pity should be shew'd him of his Friends; 6. Job. 14. 19 Job 21. Have pity upon me, have pity up­on me, O my Friends! For the Hand of God hath touched me. Such also our wise man asserts in several Proverbs, Faithful are the wounds of a Friend: 27. Prov. 6.9.17. As Ointment and Perfumes rejoyce the Heart, so doth the sweetness of a Mans Friend by hearty Coun­sel, As Iron sharpneth Iron, so a Man sharp­neth the Countenance of his Friend. Thus far I have describ'd a Friend by that [Page 18]principle of Love, which constitutes him such; and that his inward frame might be more exposed to your view, I have described his love also, by the select Objects to which it is addressed, the eminent degrees to which it is ex­alted, and the most useful Offices in which it is imploy'd.

2. I proceed to represent those ad­mirable properties of a true Friend, which complete and adorn him; they are chiefly these two mentioned in the Text: An immutable constancy of af­fection, and a generous faithfulness in a time of Adversity.

1. A true Friend is immutably con­stant in his affections, He will love always or at all times. The contract of Friend­ship is so solemn and sacred, that a Friend may not violate it, if he would, and so useful and pleasant, that he would not, if he might, break this Bond asun­der, or cast away this Cord of Love from him.

The slight friendships of the vulgar are indeed mutable and uncertain, as that fickle humor or fortune is, on which they depend: but that friendship which is built on solid Vertue, condu­cted with true Wisdom, and fixt in the strongest inclinations or Love, cannot but be permanent and pepetual. Such a friendship is seated too deep to be at all varied with that variety of Circum­stances, which happen without, for as a change of Fortune, like a change of Garments, will make no alteration in the Man, so neither will it in the Friend; and he who did not at first love his Friend for the sake of his good fortune, will not afterwards plead the want of it, for a forfeiture or discharge of his Friendship. If therefore one Friend be advanced in prosperity, he will reach out a kind Hand to raise up the o­ther to him, or stoop himself down to his level, but he will never think him­self too great for that friendship, which is it self the greatest thing in the world. [Page 20]Likewise, if a worthy Friend fall into disgrace or distress, though this may vary the Offices of Friendship, yet it will not its nature; it may excite pity and compassion, but no slight or con­tempt, it will rather by irritation heigh­ten the love of Friendship, than abate or extinguish it.

It is true, that the external Circum­stances, which at first invited a Friend­ship, may afterwards so varie, as to incommode and interrupt its inter­course, by long distance, frequent ab­sence, different affairs, &c. But these things are too slight to dissolve that Bond, which even the stroak of death can scarce cut asunder. Sometimes al­so Friendship may mistake its object, and address to a Person, who afterwards proves unworthy and uncapable of the Correspondence; in which case a friend is compared by Plutarch, to one who hath taken unwholsom food into his Sto­mach, which he can neither cast up without pain, nor retain without dan­ger; [Page 21]and though in such a case, a friend may lawfully Sue out a Divorse, yet his ingenuity will dispose him rather de­cently to untie, than roughly to break asunder the Bond of his friendship. It must be confessed also, that the best and wisest friends are but Men, subject to many surprizes and infirmities, which may too much impair and obstruct their friendships; who yet; if true friends can be very ingenious in excusing, very pa­tient in bearing, and very ready in for­giving the faults one of another; and if their friendships be of the right kind, they will be able, not only to endure these discouragements, but also to sur­vive them with advagtage; like Trees, which after a shaking wind take the deeper root; or like skillful Musick, which can improve the greatest dis­cords into the most graceful and de­lightful Harmony. And though Solomon informs us farther, that there are froward Men who will sow strife, 16. Pr. 28. and whis­perers who will separate chief friends; by [Page 22]whose accursed practices the Devil en­deavours to destroy the greatest good and delight of Mankind; yet they do not easily or often prevail, for true friendship will not be soon tinctured with jealousie, nor lightly yield up a Friend to the malice of a detractor, but first or last, the truth of friendship will triumph over the falshood of the ca­lumnie. After all these vain attempts, to vanquish the constancy of a true friendship, we cannot suspect that it will tire or wear out with length of time. So litle is it subject to decay, that like our most generous liquors, it will gain strength and sweetness by Age. A friend, like a garment, becomes more fit and suitable by daily use: And that Ce­ment of Love, which time hath seaso­ned and approved, is the strongest and most durable. Wherefore our wise Man adviseth us by no means, to for­sake an approved Friend, especially not a Fathers Friend, for the older he is, always the better. 27 Pr. 10.

2. The other property of a true friend, is his generous faithfulness in the most needful time of trouble; he is a Brother born for adversity. A true friend is, by many excellent qualities, so fitly fram'd and provided for a season of ad­versity, that he is not only able to en­dure it, but he will stick the closer, un­der the adverse assaults of Fortune; and by a generous antiperistasis, his love will increase under the discouragements of adversity. It was a true observation which Sylla made to Pompey, That more did adore the Rising than the Setting Sun. And Solomon made the like observation, That wealth maketh many Friends, 19. Prov. 4.7. but the Poor is separated from his Neighbour. All the Brethren of the Poor do hate him, how much more do his Friends go far from him; he pursueth them with words, yet they are want­ing to him, There are Friends enough to be found, who are born for prospe­rity, who will feed on our plenty, and share in our joys; but it is the most de­plorable fate of adversity, that when [Page 24]it puts us under the greatest need of friends, it often put them farthest from us. While prosperity shines on a Man, crowds of vulgar insects will flutter a­bout him, to bask in its heat, and suck the warm influences of its raies; but those friends are too excellent to be ma­ny, who can stand firm, and stick close to us, amidst the storms and tempests of adversity. The wiseman tells us, that he who is become a Brother in the bonds of friendship, will stick closer than he who is so, only in the bonds of Nature; and therefore he adviseth us, in the day of our Calamity, 27. Pr. 10. to go rather to a Friend, than to the House of a Brother, for better is such a Neighbour, whom friend­ship hath made near, than a Brother, who in his affections is farther off. It is the peculiar honour of a true friend, that no interest can bribe him, nor dangers af­fright him; that he hath courage e­nough to make any attempt, and forti­tude enough to bear any hardships for an avowed friend. ‘Give me a friend, [Page 25]saith Seneca, for whom I may die, whom I may follow into banishment, De amicum pro quo ma­ri possim, quem in ex­itum se­quar, cujus me morti opponam & impendam. 15. John 13. for the rescue of whose Life I may expose my own.’ And our Blessed Saviour sup­poseth the love of friendship to be so generous, that a Man may, even, lay down his life for a Friend. And surely, that love which is stronger than Death, will never boggle at petty misfortunes. No, Solomon tells us, That many waters cannot quench Love, 8. Cant. 7. neither can the Floods drown it, and lesser sprinklings will but inflame it. True Friendship, like that Vertue on which it is founded, will grow brighter and stronger, by the conflicts of adversity, and increase its Love as fire doth its heat, by the sharp­ness of the season. To see a worthy Friend bowing under the weight of an unjust oppression, will strangely inspi­rit a true generous friendship; it will force modesty to speak in vindication of his innocence, and humility to contend for his just praises, it will arm the time­rous in his defence, and instruct the ru­dest [Page 26]Tongue into an eloquent advo­cate, such is the admirable force of friendship, that it will raise a Man in the Service of a Friend above what he could or would do for himself, yea, oftentimes to postpone his own interests to those of a Friend, and expose him­self to shield a Friend from an approa­ching danger. Such a friend was Jona­than to David, whom neither the hatred of a Father, nor the flattery of a crown could corrupt, who would not yield up his friend, though Saul with armed fury, storm'd the bosom which enter­tained him, nor would let go his friend­ship, tho he knew it would cost him the reversion of a Kingdom; but with an unshaken resolution he persisted to plead David's cause, tho to the preju­dice of his own, to advance his praise, though to his own diminution, and to secure his friend, though with the haz­zard of himself. Happy is the Man who is strengthened with such an alli­ance, and provided of so useful a sup­port [Page 27]for an evil day; who is secure of a faithful Friend to adhere to him, when all others forsake him, to condole with him, when others insult over him, to plead his cause amidst the loudest ca­lumnies, and solicit his interests when most desperate and deplorable.

Having now finished the draught I designed, tho with a much ruder Pen­cil than it deserv'd, let us stand a while and review it in some useful reflecti­ons.

1. If the face of a true friend be tru­ly represented in this Text, then the reverse and opposite of this must needs be false and counterfeit. I should not have made this reflection, but that I observe how the many [...] (as Plutarch calls the false Images and Counterfeits of friendship) do re­flect no small disgrace on this excellent Virtue. Such are the Mercenary friend­ships of the vulgar, who choose their friends as they do their cattle, the stron­gest for labour, or the fattest for sale, [Page 28]who keep or part with their friends, as will make most for their interest; whose friendship is nothing else but traffick and commerce.

Such also are the vain friendships of fond Amorists, which spend themselves in soft dalliances and imaginary delights; which can no more engage a wise and generous mind, than Sampson could be fettered with the ropes and withs of his Daliah. Nay, some have not been a­fraid to prophane the sacred name of friendship, by ascribing it to the good Fellowship of Debauchery, to combi­bations of Fraud and Violence, or to conspiracies of Faction and Treason: Such are indeed, like Simeon and Levi, Brethren in iniquity, 49. Gen. 5.6. But oh my Soul, come not thou into their secrets, unto their assembly mine Honour be not thou united. But the most common and dangerous imposter in friendship is the Flatterer, who like Jacob, appears in the dress of a Brother, and with a smooth voice supplants and betrays him; all whose officious Ad­dresses [Page 29]are no better than the crafty arts of a Fowler, to allure and decoy a friend into a prey. But time will disco­ver the false friend, at least in a sharp season of adversity, his disguises of friendship will drop off, like withered Leaves at the approach of Winter.

2. If so much be necessary to consti­tute and compleat a true friend, we see reason enough why true friendship is so great a rarity in the world, some have thought it matter of complaint and wonder, that so excellent and useful a vertue, should scarcely be met with a­ny where, but in the notional rules of Philosophy, or the feigned examples of some imaginary Hystory: But it is not to be thought strange, that what is most excellent and very difficult, should be scarce and uncommon in the World. A vertuous friendship must needs be rare, when Vertue it self is so. They are but few, whose Souls are refin'd with purity, adorn'd with modesty, supplee with meekness, sweetned with kind­ness [Page 30]and enlarged with goodness; which might render them capable of enter­taining so great a vertue. The most we may observe, are too selfish to love any besides themselves, too rugged in their tempers to admit of so close an u­nion, too vain and humorsome to be constant, and too mean and abject of spirit to endure a tryal of adversity: And hence it comes to pass, that a true Friend is as greatly admired, and as rare­ly seen among us, as the Stoicks wise man was among the Philosophers of old. Yet, if the vertues of our Reli­gion were as much in practice, as they might and should be, friendships would easily result of themselves; were every one but fit to be a Friend, nobody could be long without one. But alas! in our days, Christian Charity is not only wi­thered in these upper Branches, but de­cays at the very root, and so little can we endure the strictest bond of friend­ship, that even the largest bond of peace can scarce contain us.

3. Let us once more reflect on a true Friend, to behold in him that excellen­cy of worth, and those endearing pro­perties which may justly recommend him to our embrace and imitation. How many and how eminent are the vertues which meet in the composition of a true Friend? To how many and important uses will a true friendship serve? It is the ornament of our prosperity, and the relief of our adversity, it sweetens our sorrows and our joys too, and is the most delightful solace of our lives: In a word, true friendship is the highest im­provement of humanity, and the grea­test advance of Christian Charity we are capable of, in our present State. What greater vertue could I recommend, or what greater happiness could I wish to you my dear Countrymen? than such a mutual friendship, as would render our conversations wholesom and secure, fruitful and pleasant as that good Coun­try is, to which we are related. But who did ever dispraise friendship? or would [Page 32]refuse a faithful Friend? It were well if e­very one were as willing to be a friend as to have one, and would be content to correspond by that rule of equity. The wise Man gives, 18. Pr. 24. That he who hath friends must shew himself friendly. And yet it would become a Christian to do somewhat more, to importune others with the first addresses of his Love, and court them, if possible, into a League of friendship. Seneca thought every good Man ought to have a friend to exercise his friendship, ne tam magna Virtus jaceret, lest so great a Virtue should be neglected and lost in the world. It will much more concern us who are Christians, to make and cherish amongst us the truest friendship, because it is the most eminent pitch of that Charity, which is the most eminent grace of our Religion. Some have been vainly prejudic'd against friendship, as if it were a forraign Virtue transplanted from the Schools of Philo­sophy; but surely our holy institutions which require our love to an Enemy [Page 25]and a Stranger, cannot be supposed to disregard a Friend; our religion which qualifies Persons with the highest at­ [...]inments of Divine goodness, which [...]ssists out friendships with the mighty aid [...]f that Holy Spirit, who is the true God of love, which honours it with so many encomiums, and encourageth it with such great rewards, can do more [...]an all the morality of the Antients to [...]eed and promote the noblest friend­ships. The Holy Jesus the Author of [...]ur Religion had his beloved Disciple, [...]d expressed a particular friendship to [...]zarus and his Sisters. The Primitive Christians did so abound in their friend­ships, that they seem'd to have no other [...]nd of love among them; insomuch [...]at the Heathens suspected them to [...]ry Philtrums and Charms about [...]em, to beget such strong Indearments [...] Affection. And, to add no more, [...]e have reason to conceive one part of [...]e glorious happyness of Heaven, to [...]nsist in the most refined and exalted [Page 26] friendships of Angels and Saints mad [...] perfect above, where the poorest Laz [...] ­rus rests in the Bosom of the greatest [...] ­brabam, and all closely unite in the sam [...] harmony of Love and Praise. God gra [...] that we may so imitate their holy friend­ships here, that we may be admitted t [...] their blest Society hereafter, throu [...] the merits of our Blessed Saviour, t [...] greatest and best of Friends, to who [...] with the Almighty Father, and the [...] ­ternal Spirits of Grace, be Glory a [...] Honour; Praise and Thanksgiving, no [...] and ever, Amen.