Listen sir, ile gather it as breefe as I can for you, Anno Primo Evandri, bee it (for the care and good of the Com­mon wealth for divers necessary reasons that wee shall urge) thus peremptorily enacted [...]

A faire pretence if the reasons foule it not.

That all men living in our Dominions of Epire in their decayd nature, to the age of foure score, or women to the age of three score, shall on the same day bee instantly put to death, by those meanes and instruments that a former Proclamation had (to this purpose) through our said territories dispersed.

There was no women in this Senate certain.

That these men being past their bearing Armes, to aide and defend their Countrey, past their manhood and livelihood, to propogate any further issue to their posterity, and as well past their councells (which overgrown gravity is now run into dotage) to assist their Countrey, to whom in common reason, nothing should be so wearisome as their owne lives, as it may be supposed is tedious to their successive heires, whose times are spent in the good of their Countrey, yet wanting the meanes to maintaine it; and are like to grow old before their inheritance (borne to them) come to their necessary use, for the which are the women, for that they never were defence to their Countrey, never by Counsell ad­mitted to the assist of government of their Countrey, onely neces­sary to the propagation of posterity, and now at the age of three­score to be past that good, and all their goodnesse: it is thought f [...]t then a quarter abated from the more worthy member to be put to death as is before recited: provided that for the just and impartiall execution of this our Statute the exa [...]ple shall first begin in and a­bout our Court, which our selfe will see carefully performed, and not for a full Month following extend any further into our Do­minions: Dated the sixt of the second month at our Pallace [...]Roy­all in Epire.

I and they knewt. 2. Cou. Pe [...]ce let them never knowt.

A Pox the [...]e be yong heires will soone smelt out.

Tis as a Court should be: Glosse and good Clothes,

My Lord no matter for merit and herein your Law p [...]ooves a provid [...]nt act my Lord, when men passe not the palsie of their Tongues, no [...] co [...]our in their Cheeks.

Mother.

Awa [...] unnaturall.

Come hither sir.

What are those orders?

Peace, take heed mother, you have but a short time to bee cast down your selfe, and let a yong Courtier doo't, and you bee wise, in the mean time.

Hark whence those sounds, whats that?

Oh my Lord.

Yes mine did once.

I would I had een another father, condition he did the like

My father wore cheap garments, he might doot, I shall have all my Clothes come home to morrow, they will eat up all you, and there were more of you sirs; to keepe you sixe at Livery and still mun­ching.

Thou mad [...]st my fathers clothes that I confesse,

But what sonne and heir will have his fathers Taylor

Unlesse he have a mind to be well laught at? Thast beene so us'd to wide long side things, that when I come to trusse I shall have the waste of my Dublet lie upon my buttocks, a sweet sight.

Theres Jeast neede of thee fellow, I shall nere drinke at Home, I shall be so drunke abroad.

But a cup of small beere will do well next morning sir

I grant you, but what neede I keepe so big a knave for a Cup of sm [...]ll Beere?

The more asse art thou to think so, for what should I doe With a Mountebancke, no drinke in my house, the banishing the Butler might have beene a warning for thee, unlesse thou meanst to Choake me.

I prithee hold thy tongue fellow, I shall take a course to sp [...]nd em faster then thou canst reckon em, tis not the rents must se [...]ve my turne, unlesse I meane to be laughed at, if a man should be seene out of slash me, let him nere look to be a right gallant: But [...]irrah with whom is y [...]ur businesse?

Why heares an age to make a Cooke a Ruffin, and scald the D [...]vell indeed, doe strange mad things, make mutton pasties of Dogs flesh, backe Snal [...]es for Lamprie Pies, and Cats for Cunnies:

Come will you bee ruld by a Butlers advice once? for wee must m [...]ke up our fortunes some where now as the case stands, le [...]s [...]en therefo [...]e goe seeke out widdowes of nine and fiftie and we can, thats within a yeare of their deaths, and so we shall bee sure to bee quickly ridd of em, for [...] yeares enough of conscience to bee [Page 23] troubled with a wife for any man living.

Oracle Butler, Oracle Butler, hee puts downe all the Doctors a'th name.

Do not you know the craft of your yong Tumblers? That you wed an old man, you thinke upon another husband as yo [...] are marrying of him, wee knowing your thoughts made bold to see you.

Yes sir, I have found out the true age and date of the party you wot on.

Likely to be the wiser man si [...], for your greatest Clarks are not alwayes so, as tis reported.

I understand my self so much the better [...]ir, for all the best in the Parish pay duties to the Clark, and I would ow you none sir.

Mine is a capcass now to our busines in your hand, good luck I hope, I long to be resolv'd.

Mark sir, Agatha the daughter of [...]ollux, this is your Wives name, and the name of her father, born.

Born in an. 1540. and now tis 99. by [...] i [...]llib [...]e record sir (let me see) she is now just 59. and [...] but on.

Why sir? alas tis nothing, tis but so many months, so ma­ny weeks, so many—

Do not deduct it to dayes [...] twill be the more tediou [...], and to measure it by houre glasses were intollerable.

Doe not think on it sir, halfe the time goes away in sleep, tis halfe the yeare in nights.

Oh you mistake me neighbour, I am loath to leave the good old woman. if shee were gone now it would not grieve mee, for what is a yeare alasse but a lingring torment? and were it not bet­ter she were out of her paine, t [...]must needs bee a griefe to us both.

I would I knew how to ease you neighbour?

You speake kindly truly, and if you say but Amen to it, (which is a word that I know you are perfect in) it might be don, Cla [...]ks are the most ind [...]fferent honest men, for to the marriage of your enemy, or the buriall of your friend, the Curses or the Bles­sings [...]o you are all one, you say Amen to all.

With a better will to the one then the other neighbour, but I shall be glad to say Amen to any thing might doe you a plea­sure.

There is first somthing above your duty, now I would have you set forward the Clock a little, in to helpe the old woman out of her paine.

I will speake to the Sexton for that, but the day will go nere the faster for that.

Oh neighbour you d [...]e not conceit mee, not the Jack of the Clock-house the hand of the Diall I meane, come, I know you be­ing a great Clark, cannot chuse but have the art to cast a figure.

Never indeed neighbour, I never had the judgement to c [...]st a figure.

I'le show you on the back side of your booke, looke you, what figures this.

Four with a Cipher thats forty.

So forty, whats this now?

The Cipher is turn'd into 9. by adding the taile which m [...]k [...]s forty nine.

Very well understood, what i'st now?

The 4. is turnd into 3. tis now thirty nine.

Very well understood, and can you do this agen?

Oh easily sir.

A wager of that, let me see the place of my wives age agen.

Looke you sir tis heere 1540.

Forty drachmaes, you do [...] not turne that forty into thirty nine.

A match with you.

Done, and you shall keepe stakes your selfe there they are.

A firme match, but stay sir now I consider it, I shall add a yeare to your wives age, let mee see Scirophon the 17. and now tis H [...]catomcaon the 11. if I alter this your wife will have but a month to live by the Law.

Thats all one sir, either doe it or pay me my wager.

Will you lose your wife before you lose your wager?

A man may get two wives before halfe so much money by em, will you doot?

I hope you will conceale me for tis flat corruption.

Nay sir I would have you keepe counsell, for I lose my money by't and should be laught at for my labour, if it should bee known.

Well sir, there tis done, is perfect 39. as can be f [...]und in black and white but mum sir, thers danger in this figure casting.

I sir, I know that better men then you have beene throwne over the barr for as little, the best is, you can be but throwne out of the Belfrie.

Lock close heere comes company, Asses have eares as well as Pitchers.

Oh Gnoth [...]s, how i'st? heer's a tri [...]k of discarded Cards of us, wee were ranked with Coats as long as our old master li­ved.

And is this then the end of Serving men?

Yes faith, this is the end of serving men, a wise man were better serve one God then all the men in the world.

Twas wel! spak of a Cook, and are all faln into fasting daies and ember we [...]ks, that Cooks are out of use?

And all Taylors will bee cut into L [...]sts and Shreds, if this world hold, we shall grow both out of requ [...]st.

And why not Butler [...] aswell as Taylors, if they can goe naked, let em neither eat nor drink.

Thats strange mee thinks, a Lord should turne away h [...]s [Page 32] Taylor of all men, and how dost thou Taylor?

I do so so, but indeed all our wants are long of this Pub­lican my Lords Bayliff, [...]or had he been rent gatherer still, our pla­ces had held together still, that are now seame rent, nay crack'd in the whole peece.

Sir, if my Lord had not sold his Lands that claime hi [...] Rents, I should still have beene the rent gatherer.

The truth is, except the Co [...]thman, and the Footman, all [...]erving men are out of requ [...]st.

Nay say not so, for you were never in more request then now; for requ [...]sting is but a kind of a begging, for when you say I b [...]seech your Worships Charity, tis all one if you say I requ [...]st i [...] and in that kind of r [...]questing, I am sure serving men were ne­ver in more req [...]est.

Troath hee sayes true, well let that passe, wee are upon a better a [...]venture. I see Gnothos you have beene before us, we came to deale with this Merchant for some commodities.

With me sir any thing that I can.

Nay we have look'd out our Wives already, marry to you we come to know the prices, that is to know their ages for so much reverence we beare to age, that the more aged, they shall be the more deere to us.

The tru [...]h is every man has laid by his Widdow, so they be lame enough, blinde enough, and old, tis good enough.

I ke [...]pe the town stock, if you can but name em, I can tell their ages today.

We can tell their fortunes to an houre then.

Only you must pay for turning of the leaves.

Oh bountifully, come mine first!

The Butler before the Cooke while you live, thers few tha [...] eate before they drinke in a morning.

Nay then the Taylor puts in his needle of priority, for m [...]n do cloth themselves before they either drink or eat.

I will strive for no place, the lo [...]ger ere I ma [...]ry my wife, the older shee will be, and nearer her end and my ends.

I will serve you all gentlemen if you will h [...]ve patience.

I commend your modesty sir, you are a Bayliff whose place is to come behind other men, as it were in the bumm of all the rest.

So sir, and you were about this businesse too, seeking out [Page] for a Widdow.

Alack no sir, I am a married man, and have those cares up­on me that you would faine runn into.

What an old rich wife, any man in this age desires such a care.

Troath sir I'le put a venter with you if you will, I have a lusty old qu [...]ane to my wife, sound of wind and limb, yet I'le give out to take three for one [...] at the marriage of my second wife.

I sir, but how neere is shee to the Law?

Take that at hazard sir, there must bee time you know to get a new: Unsigh [...], unseen, I take 3. to one.

Two to one I'le give if shee have but two teeth in her head.

A ma [...]ch, theres five drachmes for ten at my next wife.

A match.

I shall be fitted bravely, fifty eight and upwards, tis but a yeare and a halfe, and I may chance make friends, and beg a yeare of the Duke.

Hey boyes I am made sir Butler, my wife that shall bee wants but two months of her time, it shall bee one ere I marry her, and then [...]h [...] next will be a hunny moon.

I out st [...]ip you all, I shall have but six weeks of Lent, if I get my Widdow, and then comes eating tide plump and gorgious.

This Taylor will be a man if ever there were any.

Now comes my turn, I hope goodman Finis, you that are still at the end of all with a so be it, well now sirs, doe you venter there as I have done? and ile venter heereafter you, good luck I be­seech thee.

Amen sir.

That deserves a fee already, there tis, please me and have a better.

Amen sir.

How two for one at your next wife, is the old one li­ving?

You have a faire Match, I offer you no foule one, if Death make not hast to call her, shee'l make none to go to him.

I know her, shees a lusty woman, I'le take the venter.

Theres five drachm [...]es for ten at my next wife.

A bargain.

Nay then weel be all Merchants give me.

And me.

What has the Bayliff sped?

I am con [...]ent, but n [...]ne of you shall know my happiness.

As well as any of you all believe it sir.

Oh Clarke you are to speak last alwayes.

I'le remember't h [...]reafter sir [...] you have done with mee Gentlemen?

For this time honest Register.

Fare you well then, if you do, I'le cry Amen toot.

Looke you sir is not this your Wife?

My first wife sir.

Nay then we have made a good match ont, if she have no froward Disease, the Woman may live this dozen yeares by her age.

I'me afraid shees broken winded, shee holds silence so long.

We [...]l now leave our venter to the ev [...]nt, I must a woo­ing.

Ile but buy me a new dagger, and overtake you.

So we must all, for he that goes a wooing to a Widdow without a weapon will never get her.

Oh Wife, Wife!

What [...]yle you man you speake so passionatly.

Tis for thy sake sweet wife, who would thinke so lusty an old [...]oman, with reasonable good teeth, and her tongue in as per­fect use as ever it was, should bee so neere her time, but the Fates will have it so?

Whats the matter man, you doe amaze me?

Thou art not sick neither I warrant thee.

Not that I know of sure.

What pitty tis a woman should bee so neere her end, and yet not sick [...]

I alas I see thou hast beene repairing time [...]s well as thou [Page 35] couldst, the old wrinckles are well fild up, but the Vermilion is seene too thick, too thick, and I read whats written in thy fore­head, it agrees with the Church Booke.

Have you sought my age man, and I preethee how is it?

I shall but discomfort thee.

Not at all man, when there's no remedy, I will go though unwillingly.

1539. Just it agrees with the Booke, you have about a yeare to prepare your selfe.

Out al [...]s, I hope theres more then so, but doe you not thinke a repreeve might be gotten for halfe a score, and twere but five yeare, I wo [...]ld not care, an able woman (me thinks) [...]ere to be pittied.

I to be pittied, but not help'd, no hope of that, for indeed women have so blemishd their own reputations now a dayes, that it is thought the L [...]w will meet them at fifty very shortly.

Marry the H [...]avens forbid.

Theres so many of you that when you are old become Witches, some professe Physick, and kill good subjects faster then a bu [...]ning Feavour; and then Schoolemistresses of the sweet sinne, which commonly we call Bawds innumerable of that sort: for these and such causes tis thought they shall not live above fifty.

I man but this hurts not the good old women.

I faith you are so like one another, that a man cannot distinguish 'em now; were I an old woman I would desire to goe before my time, and [...]ff [...]r my selfe willingly, 2. or 3. yeares before; oh those are brave women and worthy to bee commended of all men in the world that when their Husbands die they run to bee burnt to death with em, theres honor and credit, give mee halfe a dozen such wives.

I if her Husband were dead before, 'twere a reasonable re­qu [...]st, if you were dead I could be content to be so.

Fie, thats not likely, for thou hadst two husbands before me.

Thou wouldst not have me die, would'st thou husband?

No I do not speake to that purpose, but I say what credit it were for mee and thee, if thou wouldst, then thou shouldst never bee suspected for a Witch, a Physitian, a Bawd, or any of those things, and then how daintily should I mourne for thee, how brave­lie [Page 36] should I see thee buried, when alas if hee goes before it cannot choose but bee a great griefe to him to thinke hee has not seene his wife well buried, there be such vertuous women in the world, but too few, too few who desire to die 7. yeares before their time with all their hearts.

I have not the heart to be of that mind, but indeed Hus­band I think you would have me gone.

No alas I speake but for your good and your credit, for when a woman may die quickly, why should shee goe to Law for her Death, al [...]k I neede not wish thee gone, for thou hast but a short time to stay with me, you do not know how neare tis, it must out, you have but a month to live by the Law.

Out alas.

Nay scarce so much.

Oh, oh, oh, my heart!

I so, if thou wouldst go away quietly twere sweetly done, and like a kind wife, lie but a little longer and the bell shall towle for thee.

Oh my hart, but a month to live.

Alas why wouldst thou come back agen for a month, i'le throw her downe agen, oh woman tis not three weeks, I thinke a fortnigh [...] is the most.

Nay then I am gone allready.

I would make hast to the Sexton now, but I'me afraid the towling of the Bell will wake her agen; if she be so wise as to goe now, she stirs agen, ther's two lives of the nine gone.

Oh wouldst not thou helpe to recover mee husband?

Alas, I could not find in my heart to hold thee by thy nose, or box thy cheeks, it goes against my conscience.

What a spites this, that a man cannot perswade his wife to dye in any time with her good will, I have another bespoke al­ready, though a peece of old beefe will serve to breakfast, yet a man would be glad of a Chicken to supp [...]r; the Clarke I hope un­derstands no Hebrew, and cannot write backward [...]hat hee hath writ forward already, and then I am well enough: tis but a month [Page] at most, if that were gon My venter comes in with her two for one, Tis use enough a con [...]c [...]ēce for a brother if he had a consc [...]ēce.

Gentlemen Courtiers.

Well s [...]yd.

VVE [...]come G [...]ntlmen, will you not draw [...]ere, will you drinke at Do [...]e Gen­tlem [...]n?

O [...] the Summer Ayres b [...]st!

What Wine will ple [...]s [...] you drink Gentlemen?

Declare sirrah.

What y'are all sped already bullies?

My W [...]d lowes a [...]h spitt and halfe ready lad, a turne or too more and I have done with her.

Then Cooke I hope you have basted her b [...]fore this time.

And stuck her with Rosem [...]ry too, to sw [...]eten h [...], she was t [...]i [...]ed [...]er [...] she came to my h [...]nds what an old pe [...]ce of fl [...]sh of fifty nine eleaven mooths and upwards, she must needs be fl [...]blown.

Put her off put her off, tho you lose by her [...] the weathers hot.

Why D [...]aw [...]r?

By and by, h [...]e [...]e gentlemen, heeres the quintessence of Greece, the Sages never drunck better Grape.

Sir the mad Greeks of this age [...]a [...] taste their Palermo [Page 47] as well as the sage Greeks did before em, fill lick splggot.

Ad imum sir.

My friends I must doubly invite you all the fifth of the next month, to the funerall of my first wife, and to the marriage of my second. my two to one this is she.

I hope some of us wil bee ready for the funeral of our Wives by that time, to goe with thee, but shal they bee both of a day?

Oh best of al sir, where sorrow and joy meet together, one wil help away with another the better [...] besides ther [...] wil bee cha [...]ges s [...]v'd too [...] the same Rosemary that serves for the Funeral, wil serve for the Wedding.

How long do you make account to be a Widdower sir?

Yes sir, [...]eere are sweet wire drawers in the howse.

Oh tha [...] makes them and you seldome part, you are wine drawers, and they wyer drawers.

And both govern by the peg [...] too.

And [...]ou h [...]ve pip [...]s in your consort too.

And S [...]ck-b [...]ts too sir.

But the Heads of your Instruments diff [...]r, yours are Hogs-heads their Cittern and Gittern Heads.

All wooden heads there they meet agen.

Bid em strike up, weel have a Dance, Gnothoes come [...]hou shalt foole it too.

No dancing with me, we have Siren heere.

Siren, twas Hiren the faire Greek man.

Five Drachmes of that, I say Siren the fair Greek, and so are all fair Greeks.

A match, five Drachmes her name was Hiren.

Sirens name was Siren for 5. Drachmaes.

Tis done.

Take heed what you do Gnoth [...]es.

Doe not I know our own Country women Siren and Nell of Greece, two of the fairest greeks that ever were.

That Nel was Hellen of Greece too.

As long as shee tarried with her Husband shee was Ellen, but after she came to Troy shee was Nel of Troy, or Bonny Nell [Page 48] Whether you will or no.

Why did she grow shorer when she came to Troy?

S [...]e gr [...]w longer if you marke the story, when sh [...]e grew to be an ell sh [...] was de [...]p [...] then any yard of Troy could reach by a quarter: there was Cressid was Troy waigh [...], and N [...]ll was ha­berdepoyse, she held more by fowre ounces then Cresida.

They say sh [...] c [...]usd m [...]ny wounds to be given in Troy [...]

True, she was wounded there her selfe, and cured againe by Pl [...]aster of Paris, and [...]ver since that has beene usd to stop holes with.

Gentlemen if you be disposed to bee merry, the Musick is ready to strike up, and heeres a con [...]ort of mad Greeks, I know not [...]hether they bee men or women, or betweene both, they have wh [...]t y [...]u call em vizards on their faces.

Vizards goodman licksp [...]got.

If they be wise women they [...]y be wizards too.

They desire to enter amongst any merry company of Gentlemen good fel'owes for a [...]traine or too.

Weel strain our s [...]lves with em say, let em come Gnothoes: now for the honou [...] of Epire.

I so kind t [...]en every one his W [...]ch to his seve [...]all room [...] Gn [...]thoes we are all provided now as you are

I shall have two it seemes away I have Siren heere already

What a Mermaid?

No but a maid horse face, oh o'd wom [...]n is it you?

Yes tis I, all the rest h [...]ve gu [...]d themselves, and taken their own w [...]v [...]s, and shall know that they have done more then they c [...]n well answer, but I pray you, Husb [...]n [...] what are yo [...] doing?

F [...]ith thus sh [...]uld I do if thou weart dead [...] old Ag. and thou hast not long to live [...]me sure, we have Siren 'heere.

Art [...]hou so shameless whilst I am living to keepe one un­der my nose.

Noe Ag I doe prize her far above thy nose, if tho [...] wouldst lay me both [...]hine eyes in my hand to boot, ile not l [...]ave her, ar [...] [Page 49] not ashamd to bee seene in a Tavern, and hast scarce a fortnight to live, oh old woman what art thou, must thou find no time to think of thy end?

Oh unkind villaine.

And then sweet heart thou shalt have two new gownes, and the best of this old old womans shall make thee rayments for the working [...]ay [...]s.

Oh rascall dost thou quarter my clothes already too.

Her [...]usfs will serve thee for nothing but to wash dishes, for thou shalt have nine of the new fashion.

Impudent villaine, shamelesse harlot.

You may heare she never wore any but railes al herlife time

Let me come i'le teare the strumpet from him.

Darst thou call my wife strumpet, thou preterpluper­fect tence of a woman, i'le make thee do penance in the sheet thou shalt be buried in, abuse my choice, my two to one.

Cud so Gnothoes [...] ile not tarry so long, five yeares, I may bury two husbands by that time.

Alas give the poore woman leave to talke, she with child, I with a puppy, as long as I have thee by me, she shall not bee with child I warrant thee.

The Law and thou and all shall find I am with child.

i'le take my corporall oath I begat it not, and then thou diest for adultery.

No matter that will aske some time in the proofe.

Oh you'd bee stond to death would you, all old women would die a that fashion with all their hearts, but the Law shall overthrow you, the tother way first.

Indeed if it be so, I will not linger so long Gnotho [...].

Away, away, some botcher has got it, tis but a chushion I warrant thee, the old woman is loath to depart, she never sung o­ther tune in her life.

Wee will not have our noses board with a chushion if it be so.

Go, go thy wayes thou old Almanack, at the 28. day of December een almost out of date, down on thy knees, and make [Page] th [...]e rea [...] [...] [...]e of thy clothes to buy thee a Deaths head, and p [...] upon thy m [...]ddle finger, your least considering Bawds doe so much; be not thou worse though thou art an old woman as she is, I am cloyd with oli stock fish, heers a yong perch is sweeter meat by halfe, prithee die before thy day if thou canst, that thou maist not be counted a witch.

No, thou art a witch and i'le prove it, I said I was with child, thou knewst no other but by sorcery, thou saidst it was a cushion and so it is, thou art a witch fort, i'le be sworne too't.

Ha, ha, ha, I told thee twas a chushion, go get thy sheet rea­dy, wee'l see thee buried as we go to Churc [...] to be married.

Nay i'le follow thee, and shew my selfe a wife, i'le plague thee as long as I live with thee, and i'le bury some money before I die that my ghost may hant thee afterward.

And [...]'ve small cause Cleauthes t'afford you [...]he least delight that has [...] name.

Peace thou art so greedy Sim.

I would y'ad seis'd vpon him a minute sooner, [...]tad sav'd me a cut finger, I wonder how I came bi't, for I never put my hand forth i'me sure, I think my own sword did cut it if truth were knowne; may be the wier in the handle, I have liv'd these five and twenty yeares and never knew what cullour my blood was before I n [...]v [...]r durst eat Oysters, nor cut peck lo [...]ves.

Youl prove a bawdy batchelor Sim, to have a cut up­on your finger, before you are married.

BE ready with your Prisoner, weel [...]t [...]nst [...]ntly [...]n rise before leaven, or when we pl [...]se: Shall we not [...]o low [...]udges?

You are fresh and faire, practise yong womens ends when husbands are distrest provide them friends.

Oh my son.

I can see none there thats worth one hand to you from me.

N [...]me your off [...]nce.

Moreover is en [...]cted that all sons aforesaid, whom either this Law [...]or their o [...]ne grac [...], whom it sh [...]ll reduce into the true method of [...]uty, vertue [...] and aff [...]ction; and relate their triall and approbation from Cleant [...]es the Son of Leonides— from m [...] my Lord.

F [...]m none but you as fullest, proceed sir.

Whom for his manifest vertues, we m [...]ke such [Page] judge and censure of youth and the absolute reff [...]renc [...] of life and manners.

L [...]stly it is ord [...]ined that all such wives now wh [...]tsoe­ver that shall designe the husbands death to bee soone rid of them and entertaine suitors in their husbands life time.

Sh [...]ll not presume on the penalty of our heavy displea­sure to m [...]ry within ten years [...]fter.

Of all the rest i'le not be judge by her.

Ah heere shee comes, let mee prevent thy joyes, prevent them but in part and hide the rest, thou hast not strength enough to beare them else.

Leonides.

Fidlers crowd on, crowd on, let no man lay a block in your way, crowd on I say.

Sirrah doe you know where you ar [...]?

Yes sir, I am heere, now h [...]ere, and now heere agen sir.

Your hats too high crownd the Duke in pres [...]nce.

The Duke (as hee is my Soveraigne) I doe give him two Crownes for it, and thats [...]quall change all the wo [...]ld over, [...] am Lord of the day (being my marriage day the second) I doe ad­vance-bonnet crowd on a fore.

Forc'd, I w [...]ul [...] t [...]e Duke himselfe would say so.

I thinke so my Lord, and good reason too, shall not I stay when your g [...]ace sayes I shall, I were unworthy to bee a Bride­groom in any part of your Highness Dominions then, will it please you to tast of [...]he wedlock courtesie?

If your grace please to be cac [...]ted say so.

And which might be your faire Bride sir?

And hast [...]hou any else?

I have [...]n older my Lord for other uses.

Tis tr [...]e, pray expound that sir.

As the d [...]stiny of the day falls out my Lord, one goes out to wedding [...] another goes to hanging; and your Grace, in the due consideration shall finde em much alike, the one hath the ring upon her finger, the other a halter about her neck.

I take thee Beatrice sayes the Bridegroome, I take thee Agatha sayes the hangman, and both say together to have and to hold till death do p [...]rt us.

[...]his is not yet plaine enough to my understanding.

If further your Grace examine it, you shall find I shew my selfe a dutifull subject and obedient [...]o the L [...]w, my selfe (with these my good friends, and your good subjects) our old wives wh [...]se daies are ripe, and their lives forfeit to the Law onely my selfe more forward then the rest, am already provided of my se­cond choice.

I have taken leave of the ol [...] my Lo [...]d. I have nothing to s [...]y to her, she [...]s going to S [...], you [...] G [...]ace knowes whether better th [...]n I doe, shee h [...]s a strong wind with her, it stands full in her poope when you please let her disemboge.

And the r [...]st of her neighbours with her whom wee pre­sent to th [...] satisfaction of your Highnes Law.

A [...]d so w [...]e take our leaves and leave them to your High­ness, croud on.

Alas She [...]l bee dead b [...]fore wee can get to Church, if your G [...]ace w [...]uld set her in the way, I would dispatch her, I have a v [...]nter on [...], which wou [...]d returne mee, if your Highnes would m [...]ke a littl [...] mo [...]e h [...]st two for one.

N [...]w t [...]y shall be dispatcht out of the way.

[...] w [...]uld they were gone once, the time goes away.

W [...]ich is the wife unto the forward B [...]idegroome?

I am and it please your grace.

Oh she paints my Lord, she was a Chamber Maid once, and learnt it of he [...] Lady.

Sure I think she cannot be so old.

Truly I think so too, and please your grace.

Two to one with your grace of that, shees threescore by th [...] Book.

Peace sirra y'are to loud.

Take heed Gn [...]hoes if you moove the Dukes patience, tis an edge toole but a word and a blow, he cut [...] off your head.

Cu [...] [...]ff my head, away ignorant, hee knowes it cost more in the haire, he does not use to cut off many such heads as mine, I will talke to him to, it he cut off my head, [...]le give him my eares, I say my wife is at full age for the Law, the Clark shall take his oath and the Church Book shall be sworne too.

My Lords, I leave this s [...]nsu [...]e to y [...]u

The fiddles will be in a foule case too by and by.

A messe of wise old men.

Sirrah what can you answer to all these?

Ye'are good old men and talke as age will give you leave; I would speake with the youthfull Duke himselfe, hee and I may [Page 72] speake of things that shall be 30 or 40 yeares after you are dead and rotten, a [...]as you a [...]e heere to day and gone to S [...]a to morrow.

I see your g [...]ace is disposd to be pl [...]asant.

Oh g [...]atious P [...]i [...]ce.

This is fine indeed.

Oh G [...]acious [...]rince m [...]y he live a hu [...]dred years more.

Your v [...]ntu [...]e i [...] not like to come in to day Gnot [...]oes.

G [...]v [...] me the princip [...]ll back.

Nay by my [...]roath weel venter still, and i'me sure wee have as ill a venter of it as you, for wee have taken old wives of pu [...]pos [...], where that we had th [...]ught to have put away at this mar­ket, [...] now we cannot utter a pen [...]yworth.

What for the Bride cake Gnothoes?

Oh m [...]st freely, free pardon to all.

I wee have deserv'd our pardons if wee can live hon [...]stly with such reverent wives that have no motion in em but their tongues.

Heaven blesse your Grace, y'are a just Prince.

All hopes dash'd, the Clarks duties lost, Venter gon, my second wife divorc'd, and which is worst the old one come back agen.

I take my leave of your Grace, as well as mine eyes will give me l [...]ave, I would they had been a sleep in their beds when they opend em to see this day: come Agg, come Agg.

Were not you all my servants?

D [...]ring your life as we thought sir, but our yong Master turnd us [...]way.

How headlong villaine wert thou in thy ruine?

We thank your Lordship for your love, and must thanke our selves for our bad bargains.

I had nere thought to have been brought so low as my knees agen, but since thers no remedy, fathers, reverent fathers, as you ever hope to have good sons and [...]eirs, a handfull of pitty wee confesse wee have deservd more then wee are willing to receive at your hands, though sonnes can never deserve too much of their fa­thers as shall appeare afterwards.

Alas sir you see a good pattern for that, now we have laid by our high and lusty meats, and are downe to our ma [...]y bones allrea­dy.

If these be weeds i'me afraid I shall weare none so good a­gen as long as my father lives.