FOreseeing many Hours are not allotted me to remain in my Earthly Tabernacle I judged it requisite to impart my Sentiments to Thee before my Exit.

Ah Friend! If Thy Self, thy Father, and old Ezrael Tonge, &c. in 1678. (instead of honest K. K.) had made a timely application to Me, after you bugger'd out your ill favour'd and imperfect Embryo at Fox-hall and in Fulwoods Rents, I could have lickt the uncouth Cub into a much more gainly and Gentile Form, that would have made the People Moon-blind, and transform'd them into such confounded Asses, that they might have been Bridled, Saddled, and Rid as your good pleasure should have deem'd convenient; yea, and have striven with all their Might and Main to have lost their Liberty, Property and Religion, and like egregious Sots and Coxcombs wilfully to thrust their Necks into a certain Noose of Eternal Slavery and Confusion,

If this notorious Tragi-comedy had been first revised and corrected by my expe­rienc'd Hand, I should have imbelished it with most curious Touches, and England at this day had seen many fair Commissions Sealed I ^SH, and Signed Johannes Paulus d'Oliva; But Ye, like a Triumvirate of silly Tubsters, had not the Brains to consi­der, that One Commission would have been a Scene superiour to any in your Farse, and have far out-done those Letters, which (unknown to You) gave you Reputation.

If my Hand had been earlier at the Oar, Dear Doctor, thy Forty Thousand Pil­grims and their Black Bills had not now been invisible, nor thy numberless Drury-Lane Daggers been believ'd Non-Entities, nor thy Doctorhood at Salamanca a very Ridicule, nor the Illustrious Don John of Austria a Tall Fair Man; Neither had thy worthy Father at this day sold Pies at the Half Moon in Bloomsbury, (where he died,) nor thy little Brother boyl'd Rumps of Mutton in Red-cross-street, nor Sea Bully Sam enter'd the Appartments of the Scolds in Long-ditch.

If Ye had attended Me when Ye ought, no Mortal durst now have averred, that there never was such a Man as Father Strange the Jesuit, who so candedly and frankly unbosom'd himself, and (as Gabriel to Mahomet) reveal'd to Thee the mighty Mysteries of thy Alcoran, which T. Sm. of the Temple digested into things call'd Depositions, or rather Stories of Cocks and Bulls, and Parson Jones prefix'd the Epistle, and call'd it by the name of Narrative: This was the Sire to numerous hopeful Babes of the same Name and Nature, and Grand-sire to the admired Nar­rantine of thy Renowned Brother the Ingenious Eustace Comins; So, as thy prudent Predecessor Mahomet, the Impostor, had a juggling Jew and a mischievous Monk; Thou hadst a discontented Law-man, and a discarded Naval Chaplain thy Co-adju­tors; yet the veryest Logger-head in the Three Nations will never account Thee a Prophet; or a Saviour worth a Farthing.

I was constrain'd to flie my Countrey in order to preserve my Neck, and to take Sanctuary in that very Carthage, I formerly took Measures to have destroy'd. Oh! let my Speech to the Lords and Commons be blotted out of the Records of Time! Oh! may my Delenda est Carthago, [Amsterdam must be Damn'd,] never be re­membred by Butter-boxes of this or the next Age! Oh! may my Country-men never revert upon Me Delenda est Septonia, S—y must be sent to the Devil!

My not being soon enough acquainted with thy Intrigue, is the certain source of all our miseries and misfortunes; That broke and dislocated all Measures. The World remembers well, after I became thy Patron and Pilot, how smoothly we all sham'd the Publick; how quickly thou attainedst 12 l. a week, to feed a numerous gang of Rebels and Sedition-mongers, with a Sett of antiquated Ruffians, and Beard­less Buggeroons to attend thy Tail; Any Mortal that would not believe thy Affidavit, and make thy Plot his Creed, was forthwith put into it, or into as had a condition; No Man was secure in his Bed, no Man's Life was his own; 'twas Peace, but a Peace [Page 2]as dangerous as War; for the malitious Oath of any Flagitious Villain, was sufficient to send a Man to the Gallows, and to Carve out his Carkase for Crows-meat. Then was the time of great Miracles, and stupendious Faith; Men believ'd every thing; Not a Sooty Chimney took Flame without a Popish Fire-ball; not an idle Fanatick could run from his Creditors, slip into a corner with a Wench, &c. but 'twas re­ported he was snatcht away by some Papist, and sent into another world; The French with innumerable Ships and Boats descended out of the Moon, and subdu'd the Isle of Purbeck; W. Bedloe travers'd Spain, France & Flanders in the Marshalsea, was wonderfully convey'd from Bristol to make strange Discoveries, and from a very great Rogue suddenly transform'd into a Man of Virtue and Integrity. Prance by an admirable Providence, confess'd, deny'd, and declar'd great things. Brigades of Horse in bright Armour by Moon-light Associated under a Hedge to Assassinate my Lordship, but were prevented by a Miracle. Then were deep Secrets drag'd out of the Bowels of the Midwives Meal-Tub, and 300 Wolves, 300 Letters, and as many Suits of Cloaths found in the Inchanted Chamber of Col. Mansel; The Wolves were slain by his own Hand; The Letters sent to Carolina by Tom Merry, and the Cloaths were reserv'd for the Col's own wearing; But those Commissions Waller and He had in their custody, are not yet come to light. Then thon didst wisely re-collect thy self, that thou hadst seen 2 or 3 Blue Garters through 4 Key-holes.

By this time some of the Greatest persons in the three Kingdoms were entangled one way or other in the Plot; the next thing was to make it glance upon the King Himself: First we contrived to pluck the Kingdoms Sword out of His hands; to get the Militia from Him; then to steal away His other Sword from His side, to Indict His Guards upon an obsoleted Statute, as Ryoters and Routers, These meane failing, we stirred up Legions of Factious Fellows to Petition Him for a Parliament; that trick not doing the feat, we caused many poysonous Libels to be made upon Him, and very carefully disperst; next we Printed Treasonable Pictures and Pen'd ob­scene Ballads stuft full of Sedition and most malitious Ribaldry; as the Raree-shew, and many others; These we diligently cast abroad, and ordered our Pensioners Aaron Smith, Stephen Colledge, S. harris, Bedlow, Dangerfield Brother Sam. Coll. Mancel, &c. to sing and chant them out in every place they came in. We very well understanding one way (a sure one too) to destroy a Prince, is, to render Him ridicu­lous, and little in the Eyes of His People.

All these projects, were backt with one more dangerous and dreadful, our late Association; this was our True Protestant-Flail, the Master-piece, of all our hopes.

London and Middlesex were certain Sanctuaries for any True Protestant Traytor. The Sheriffs were my Slaves, and their packt Juries my Vassals: Treason escaped Scot-free, and was esteemed a Cardinal virtue by every True Protestant Dissenter. All Loyal Men were called Papists, and all Ministers of State Pritectors of Popery-Juries would not see light at noon-day, and in spight of Magna Charta, damn'd up the Sacred Streams of Justice. With what Face will those base Recreants to com­mon sence, & the Sacrament of an Oath, who fixed an Ignoramus upon my Association, one day appear at a Barr, and hear the dreadful Statute of Edward the First read to them? Or how can those wilful Sots, those Antipodes to Reason and prudence, ever attone for their Folly and Madness, who endeavoured by Seditious Arts and Re­bellious Tumults, instead of two honest English-men, to set up two strange Calvini­stical Walloons for Sheriffs of London and Middlesex? Or canst thou but expect Ju­stice will catch thee by the crown, and thy Buggeroons by the back, who by thy command in all those Ryots dispence thy Bottles to the rude enraged Rabble to insence them up to commit Murthers on the King's Liege-people?

I leave thee to the Horror thou bearest in thy own Breast; for a wicked person is always in pain. He either practiceth the Evil he hath projected, or projects to avoid the Evil he hath deserved. Adieu.

Amsterdam January 17th. Stilo novo. 1683.