THE LADY BARK, OR, New Upstart-Lady.
In a very merry and pleasant Dialogue, Betwixt a SKIPPER, A NEW-LADY, A Young SCHOLAR, And a TAPSTER-LASS.
A North bound Skipper coming from the Sea,
Meets a New-Lady, thus makes Courtesie:
(SKIP.)
God save you,
Lady-Bark and make you better,
Unto you
Lady-Bark I have a Letter.
(LADY.)
O
Skipper for that Letter I have long'd.
(SKIP.)
The Wind (not I) your
Lady-Vessel wrong'd.
(LADY.)
How fold your stuff?
(SKIP.)
Indeed your
Lady-Bark,
When all cost quit will scarce gain half a merk:
The Markets fallen,
(LADY.)
You stay'd too long at home.
(SKIP.)
Your
Lady-Bark hath Wind and Tide to blame,
We cannot mend the Weather, coming from her
He said farewell I bid your
Lady Crear.
A Scholer standing by, thus jeer'd upon
The Skippers Sea-bred salutation.
(SCH.)
It seemeth
Skipper you are come from
France
Could you but sing, and make a Leg, and Dance
As you can Compliment; you'd streight be made
A Master of a School in court-ship Trade.
[...]
(SKIP.)
What Cryme I pray unto my Charge is laid?
(SCH.)
God save your
Lady Ship ye should have said,
And ye said
Lady Bark.
(SKIP.)
I did so, then
I see great Clerks are not still wisest men:
What need you jeer my Words, or Quarrells pyke!
Bottoms of Burden are not all alyke.
Ye must grant odds (if you be not a Sot,)
'Twixt
Indian-Merchant-Ship, and Oyster-Boat:
'Twixt my
Bark and the
Admirall of Spain,
Or, our brave
Royall Charles on the
Main.
This
Lady must not (though her flaggs be brave)
Such Tytles as my
Lady-Countess have,
Whose own, even as her
Noble Lords forbears,
In SCOTLAND diverse Ages have been peers:
Yet when to her my
Top Halyardes I slip,
I only say GOD save your
Lady-Ship.
(SCH.)
But yet this is a
Lady still, for (look)
This
Pocket-Byble in my hand's a Book
In all Respects, as well (though of less syse)
As one in Folio is in any-wise:
So is this
Lady;
(Lady)
though content
With shorter standing, Smaller Lands and Rent.
(SKIP.)
You must grant odds betwixt
Turbet and
Flook;
Though both be Fish, I grant a Book's a Book;
There are then (arguings from your own Confession)
Some Pocket
Ladyes of a late Edition.
The Sea doth not my Senses all benumb
For Husbands worth, I know the King to some
Doth Honors give and so doth
Ladyes make them
Some
Tytles steall or at their Feet uptakes them,
In Townes, from Mercat, Chruch, House, Shop and Street,
Good-Wife is sunk, the
Mistress there doth fleet
And stands a Land-ward: next year you her find
A
New-Rigg'd-Lady looffing by the Wind.
Perchance a
Vessel that in
Summar last
Was
Good-Wife Floy Boat with a jurie Mast:
Now out
New-Flaggs, hoyse the Top Sail a fathom,
For
Top-Sail Tytles, what needs all this work?
A
Year, Old Lady is but
Lady Bark.
(SCH.)
The onely outward
Skipper you do take,
With diligence a search if you do make;
You'l find that reall Goodness doth stand
In
Old-High-Race in
Riches, or in
Land:
Then Women of Deportment still should have
Such Compellations as their (Meene) doth crave.
Beware you do not irritate your Betters
With Gibberish,—which you use upon the Waters:
Ask
Nomen-Clators when ye wail your
Bonnet
Madam or
Lady is as soon said as
Jannet.
(SKIP.)
What?
No Man clatters? fore and aft ye clatter,
And slug three way-rope length asterne the matter:
I'm not a
Quaker yet I'le not dissemble,
The rageing Seas sometimes have made me tremble.
I know not what you say, yet one thing's true,
I honour those to whom honour is due.
Yet should each
Sail, in her own
Squade be set,
And not such
Tytles as the greatest get
Though
Ensign, Streamers, Jack and
Flye look tall,
In
Fleets each
Vessell's not an
Admiral:
If I do know a
Ladyes true Condition,
I can salute her in a decent fashon.
If one unknown,
High-Top-Sail-Termes do covet,
I'le how her
Mistris, till I know more of it.
A
Gentle-Woman sure wilt think no worse,
If she but know her Compass or her Course.
Now at
high water, if ye on the street,
Too and again of Women new the
Fleet:
On either
Boord, on
Head, or yet
A-stern,
You
Ladyes can from
Tapsters scarce discern?
The
Stern-most have their
Taicklings and their
Sailes
Their
Stirrage, Midships, Fore-Decks, and their
Tailes;
Their
Flaggs and
Streamers blowing in such state,
As they were
Frigots of the formest
Rate,
[Page 4] Must I
Dame-Ship them all? they strive for place,
Much like
Ostend-freebooters in a chace:
They'l clap abroad like
Fire Ships, and in rage
Blow up their Consort, for the
Weather-Gage.
What, She in head of us? It's but short time
Since her best Loading was but
Coals and
Lyme
A
Herring-Boat that sculk'd it by the Shoar,
A
Scout, a
Kenning still astern or more.
When wee'd aboord
Cloath, Hair, Silk, Silver-Laces;
Tobacco, Sugar, Sack, Spyce, Chrystall-Glasses.
Now She's in head of us, lett
Fore sail fall,
Get
Larbooard-Tacks aboord, down the
Main-sail
Heave out
Fore-Top-sail, heave
Main-Top-sail out
Hoise up
Fore-Top-sail, hoise
Main-Top-sail stout
Let
Sprit-sail fall,
Top Gallon sail, out
Maine,
Fore-Gallant-Top-sail out, hoise all again:
Hoise up the
Mizen, hoise
Mizen-Top-sail high,
Take heed at
Helm there; keep her under the
Lee.
She is about and winds us; Port, Port hard,
Let ryse
Main-Tack, let rise
Fore-Tack: reguard
Brace on the
Lar-Board Braces, and get too
The
Star-Board-Main-Tack Star-Board-Fore-Tack, do
Cast off the
Star-Board-Braces, right the Helm,
Keep her a
Lee-ward, whither wind or calm;
Thus in and out of Course in any case;
They'l break their
Bold-Sprits ere they lose their place.
(SCH.)
If ye speak so, I'le understand as soon
What you do say, as the Man in the
Moon;
For your
Sea-hubbub soundeth just like charmes
Use
Luculent, and not
Exotick Termes.
(SKIP.)
What termes do ye call
Jackalent and
Sattick?
I speak my
Callings Language, and its Prattick.
In
Schools or
Pulpit you, I on the
Sea,
I'le understand you just as you do me:
When you coyne words from
Latin, French or
Greek,
Old
Palinurus hath the sense to seek.
It blew a Gale this mourning, I toyled sore
[Page 5] And have drunk nothing since I came a shore.
I'm dry, and I can jest no longer, come,
I'll give a pynt, or take my welcome home,
(SCH.)
Go
Skipper, I will follow, go before,
Pray enter
Skipper, enter, take the Doore,
Pray enter
Skipper, enter, enter.
(SKIP.)
brave!
In offering me the place ye it do crave:
Nay take it, for I know, and so do ye,
Doggs, Clerks, and
Women, still should foremost be.
I am dry, dry, dry, if I had once a drink,
In plain
Land-Terms I will speak all I think.
How
Lady-Lass! come fill a pynt of
Ale,
See it be good and fresh, not new nor stale.
Good
Ale indeed drink
Lady, drink and try't,
Your
Lady-Lass-Skip, fair its not denyed.
(LASS)
for all your jesting
Skipper, it may be
I may prove
Lady once before I die.
(SKIP.)
I do believe ye may have your desire
Tho you get neither
Lord nor
Knight nor
Squyre
Nor one who doth an old Estate inherit
Nor one whose Vertues doth new honors merit.
The
Ladyes-Springing-Season's passing good,
For never was there since the World stood
So great a Cropt of
Ladyes as this Year,
They're even as many as the Ground can bear:
Yea, some like
Ground-swyle thrive so well, they rise
Grow up and wither in one
Summer thrice
Scrape some few Pennies, scrape in any sense:
Though not with honour or good Conscience:
On some
Old-Good-Wifes-Dunghill lay them out,
And in one
Watch, a
Lady thence will sprout.
A
Lady this and that, a
Lady Mother,
A
Lady-Auntie, Lady, who's the other?
Then
Lads and
Maids, and
Bairnes shall be whiped
If this
New-Lady be not stoutly
Shiped
Thence this
New-Lady, doth
Young Ladies yeeld,
That flowrish like the
Lillies of the Field:
[Page]
[Page 6] Who though they will not toyle, nor can they spin;
Yet ne're was any
Queen arrayed more fine:
In
Rhadicipris, Saradines, Briggade,
Alasants, Curles, of silk and worset made
Taffeties, Satines, plain and
Morall, Tabbies,
Villerasas, Velvets of all sorts like
Babbies.
Well dressed of more Colours and fine hew,
Then hundreth
Rain-bowes 'gainst the
Sun can shew.
These plain or painted, with more various Flowers;
Than all the product of the
Spring-time showres:
Nor have they only such fine
Silk and
Tissue,
But other
Gigawes of
Old-Eves proud issue
Colbertines, Trollies, Poynt and
Mazarine,
And these again or brigg'd, or closs, or plain.
Betwixt the
Lillies, and such Garments new
Great difference is These from the Sun and dew
On our own soyle do pleasantly flower out,
But each far-fetched forraign gaudie Clout:
From
France and
Holland, Smyrna, Naples, Spain,
From
China (farther) over the waterie plain
Are wafted: pains and moneys are not spar'd
From six to sixty
Scottish-Pounds a yard
In Trust, not present payment, of Bills a Charge,
Blowes off the Merchant, makes him take it large.
The Merchant for his
broken-Credit grieved
Doth
Law and
Aw his
Debters, till relieved:
Long
Lybells read, and
Blowing-Hornes do blast
New
Lady-ships wrackt are, or sail the
Mast.
(LASS)
My patience (Skipper) cannot bear your
Tale
I think you scald your lipps 'mongst others
Kale
Would you have no man to buy any
Land,
Tho he of money can great summes command?
(SKIP.)
Forbid I will not, (least I seem to reave)
They'l buy, and sell again, without my leave
(LASS)
A man buyes
Land, and it of right doth hald,
May not his Wife a
Lady then be call'd?
(SKIP.)
She may and will, (yea it is ten to one)
(LASS)
May not this
Lady (call her new or old,)
Wear any cloath in shopes for money sold?
(SKIP.)
I am a poor
Skipper I'le be still, because
I am no
Prince, therefore can make no
Lawes:
But were my sentence sought, none should put on
Nor
Silks, nor
Forraign Cloath, save
Dames alone
Of antient wealth and honour; all the rest,
(LASS)
The rest must all go naked, there's the jest.
(SKIP.)
Not naked, we have
Wool and
Flax at hame,
I think no honest woman will think shame,
To dress or cause her servants dress, and fyne.
Yea, her best
Maids spin, and wind up and twyne:
Cause make fine Cloath, and spare her money: saving
Herself and Houshold both from cold and craving.
(LASS)
Fy
Skipper fy, that is for
Rustick-Clowns,
And not for
Gentle-Women, not for Towns
Fy
Skipper fy, let paultry
House-wives spin
Who can not other wayes their living win:
As good go naked, (you do stirr my passion)
Yea better out of life than out of fashion.
(SKIP.)
Better be vertuous, and comely clade:
Nor till half Flood be spent to slugg in bed:
Then up, Comb, Wash, Dress, Dyne, and afternoon
Hover abroad like
Butterflies in
June:
To the
Man-market or some
Cummering visite,
By Maids and Wives, as now a days is used.
Now
Nakedness seems no great punishment,
For many Women are right well content
To have their
Breasts, and their
Raw-Spawlds behind
Like
Gally Slaves expos'd to
Sun and
Wind.
I wish they were well lash'd, or forc'd make bare
Their lower
Fore-Decks, and their privie ware.
(LASS)
Ill manner'd Cairle, I must let you know it,
If you had better Breeding you would show it;
If you prate more, (you
Railing Sea-bred-Sott
I'll break your jeering
Pigs-Nose with the
Pot.
(SKIP.)
Avast! Avast! I think this day a Morn,
Some sorrow Rowed in my
Cobles Horn;
Some Women look like
Lady-Galiot-ships,
Trim
Lady-Pynk ships. Lady-Pleasure-Boat-ships.
But they prove
Lady-Fyre-Ships; and begin
To throw
Granadoes if you bid them spin.
But yet not all, good Women are more wise,
Than to be cloathed in
Ape-like Toyish-guise.
O strange! strange tymes! (its with amazement spoken,)
Who so speaks truth, must have his head now broken.
I am out of Course, and need not stear more steadie
Women and
Clerks are in my Top alreadie;
If I do waken Doggs, a storm will blow
Will force me bring my
Top-sailes all below.
A storm, a storm, a Roaring storm falls near.
I'l stand to the
Offin, till the
Coast be clear;
Far better rule my
Bark in Rageing-Seas,
Than such light
Land-ships, and their vanities.
The Winds do bluster, and the Waves do swell:
Come take your Money,
Lady-Lass farewell.
A Licence for Printing this Book
Nebrida,
Day, Moneth, and year foresaid
The Court of Merry Drolls
well Minted:
Ordaineth these Presents to be Printed.
Sent South, North, East, West,
where ye would,
And for twelve Scottish Pennies
sold.
And whoso taketh offence at it,
Hath far more vanitie than Wit.
High Tytles,
and strange Cloaths;
Fooles jeer them
And Fooles indeed do take and Wear them:
Who if they grudge at this Epistle,
May fume, grin, fret, laugh, dance, sing, whistle,
Run out of Wit, or sit at ease;
All's one to us as what they please;
Fly wyld, sit tame, make foul fairwork.
Subscrived JOCOSERIVS
Clerk.
FINIS.
Be Da: Ferguson.