OH Meditation! I see thee, and now I will leave my Joh. 4.28, 29. water-pots, and go call all mankind to come and see the Duty that told me all that ever I did; ay, and that my God ever did. Lu. 11.27. Blessed is the womb of that Grace, that bears thee, and the paps that gave thee suck. Mat. 5.6. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be fil­led with thee! Mat. 2.18. The fair Rachel of piety, may cry out her eyes, for children, and holy seed, and break her heart, because they are not, if she be not impregnated by theel Psa. 113.9. Thou makest barren Graces to [Page 2]keep house, and to be the joyful mothers of children. Thou sufferest no Psal. 105.44. man, nor devil to do them harm, thou rebukest the Prince of darkness for their sakes. They that will be 1 Ti. 6.9. rich in thee, will not fall into many temptations! for by thee, one Grace will chase a Deu. 32.30. thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight! Thy Job 13.11. Excellency makes them afraid, and thy dread falls upon them! Thou Plal. 104.32. look­est on earthy affections, and they tremble! thou touchest the hills of corruption, and they smoke! In thy Name I have cast out devils! and over thee the Mat. 16.18. gates of hell can­not prevail! Thou art, as it were, an Emmanuel, God with us! In thee grace and peace do live, move, and have their being! Thou rain­est down manna, and givest Angels food to them whose soul Psa. 107.18. ab­horreth all manner of meat, and draws near to the gates of death! If thy Psa. 11.3. foundations be destroy­ed, what can the righteous do? [Page 3]Thou deliverest in Job 5.19, 26. six, yea sea­ven troubles! in spiritual famine from death, and war from the sword! Thou hast made a Job 1.10. hedge about piety, about her house, and all that she has, on every side! thou blessest the work of her hands! Pro. 29.18. Where there is none of thy vision, the people perish; but in thy light we see light! Thou Mat. 7.5. castest out the motes out of thy own eye, and seest clearly to cast out the beams of ours! Thou Luk. 1.76, 79. shalt be called the prophet of the Highest; for thou goest before the face of the Lord, to prepare his way! thou givest light to them who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death! Job 28.13. Man knoweth not thy price, neither is it found in the I and of the living. The Job 29.13, 15, 16. bles­sing of him that was ready to pe­rish, has come on thee a thousand times 1 for thou art eyes to the blind, and legs to the lame! a Fa­ther to the poor; and that which thou knowest not, thou searchest out [Page 4]Thou Job 35.11. teachest us more than the beasts of the earth, & makest us wi­ser than the fowls of heaven! I Psal. 119.93. will never forget thy precepts, for with them thou hast quickned me! and sure I am of those who follow thee. Psa. 73.5. They are not in trouble as other men, neither are they plagued as other men. To what Isa. 1.11. purpose is the multitude of our sa­crifices without thee? without thee the Am. 5.18. day of the Lord is darkness, and not light! I have said, That without thee it Mal. 3.14. is vain to serve God, and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance? Faith comes not by Ro. 10.17. hearing, without thee; yea, without thee, the Mat. 21.13. House of prayer is a den of thieves! thieves that break through and steal, duty and comfort! Hope, without thee Ro. 5.5. maketh asham'd; and Repentance, without thee, is to 2 Co 7.10. be repented of! Without thee, sin doth Heb. 12.1. easily beset us! and methinks thou art the in-door Zec. 13.1. fountain, opened for sin, and for [Page 5]uncleaness! without thee, the whole Isa. 1.5. Head of piety is sick, and the whole heart is faint! Thou art the Apothecary to the Mar. 9.12. phy­sician of souls! There is no Jer. 8.22. Balm in the Gilead of the Gospel; and there's no physician there with­out thee! Duties without thee, are physicians Job 13.4. of no value! tis thou 2 Co 7.1. perfectest holiness in the fear of God! 'Tis impossible to serve thee Mat. 24. and mammon! Thy two Mar. 12.42. mites, make such a farthing, which I had rather present the Lord with, than with Mie. 6.7. thousands of rams, and ten thousands of rivers of oyl! Luk. 7.22, 23. Blessed is he, whosoever is not offended in thee, who makest the blind to see, the lame to walk, the leper to be cleansed, the deaf to hear, the very dead to be raised! Psal. 22.1. Oh my Soliloquy! my Soliloquy! why hast thou for saken me? why art thou so far from helping me? Can. 1.6. Tell me, oh Meditation, thou whom my soul loveth, why should I be, as one that turneth aside by the flocks [Page 6]of thy companions? Psa. 42.2. As the Hart pants after the water-brooks; so panteth my soul after thee! My soul thirsteth for thee, in this desart land, De. 32.10. and howling wilderness, to lead me about, and instruct me! Ex. 28.36. 'Tis thou onely that canst grave like the ingraving of a signet, on the plate of my heart, holiness to the Lord! Ge. 3.13. For really, without thee, the serpents will beguile me, and I shall eat! Ge. 4.13. and my sin will be greater than I can bear, as Cain said. At every fools bidding, my own and all, Job 2.9. I shall curse God, and dye, if thou stand not by me! What are my gifts, graces, duties, &c. without thee? Job 4.21. Doth not their excellency which is in them, go away, and they dye without wisdom? Job 5.14. Don't they meet in darkness in the day-time? and grope in noon-day, as in the night? 'Twas ever well, when thou and I Psa. 55.14. took sweet councel together, and walk'd unto the House of the Lord in company. Isa. 1.24. Ah! I will ease [Page 7]me of my Adversaries, and be aven­ged of those enemies, which keep thee and me apart! Isa. 1.22. Let not thy silver be mixt with dross, nor thy wine with water, and thou shalt be preferred to my chiefest joy! Psal. 137.1, 6. While I sit down by the rivers of Babylon, and weep in the remem­brance of Zion, Thou, oh Soliloquy! Psa. 139.3. thou shalt compass my path, and my lying down: Thou shalt be acquainted with all my wayes, Can. 1.13. Thou shalt be to me as a bundle of myrrhe, and lye betwixt my breasts all the night long! Can. 4.16. Thou shalt blow upon my garden, and make the spices to flow forth, that Jeho­vah Jesus may come in, and eat his pleasant fruit. Psa. 119.127. So will I love thy commands above gold, yea, above fine gold! Ge. 2.24. I will leave father, and mother, and wife too, and cleave to thee. Amen and Amen.

OH my God! Heb. 4.13. There is no creature which is not mani­fest in thy sight! But alas! that there is any such thing as a creature, or that there ever was such a work as Creation, is hardly manifest to mine. 2 Co 5.17. It cost thee a second crea­tion of me, to make me believe the first! For that the world was made by Christ, I never believ'd, 'tis I was made by him too: And it may well be faid, Eph. 3.9. Thou hast created all things by Christ Jesus, since the very Faith, of all things being cre­ated, is by him also; it being im­possible, that man should rightly know himself Gal. 6.15. to be any crea­ture, 'till he is a new one! They are not many thousands of years past, since there was no being, but thy own; nor indeed is there any now, [Page 9]whose name is, Jam, or is not ra­ther a Nothing, than a Being, be­sides thy own! but as if when thou created'st ours, thou hadst annihila­ted thy own, and thou hadst ceased to be, scon after we began to be; how art thou as sar out of mind, as out of sight, with me, for the most part? How rarely, and faintly, do I say, Job 19.25. I know that my Redeem­er, or my Creator either liveth! So difficult it is to weak Faith to be­lieve thee the Maker of heaven and earth, that I am put hard to it, ma­ny times, to think thee the Maker of that little spot and clod of earth that I carry about me. I am so bad at remembring thee, the worlds Creator, that I have much ado to remember thee, my very own. But did Ec­cles. 12.1. I not live, move, and have Act. 17.28. my Being in thee, the fault would be less heinous, and monstrous. Thou art nigher to me, than I am to my self; and I have as perpetual­ly, and necessarily, thy upholding, as my own subsisting: so that did I [Page 10]not forget my self, I could not pos­sibly forget thee: Nay, and did I not forget all things, 'twere impos­sible but I must remember their Ma­ker, being all bear thy superscripti­on; yea, and aloud say of thee, It is he that hath made us, Psal. 37 17. and not we our selves. 1 Ti. 4.4. Every creature of God, is good to teach me, were I but good to learn; its being a crea­ture, and God being its Creator! But, oh my God! I neither learn of creatures, to honour their Creator; nor of the Creator, to scorn crea­tures! I can very seldome see, ei­ther thee as thou art in thy self; or them as they are in themselves. I converse much with both, and yet but little, because I converse with thee without thy Attributes, and with them without theirs; not view­ing them as insufficient, or thee as alsufficient. Isa. 54.5. If thou my Maker, (as the prophet speaks) art my hus­band, and jealousie be the rage of a man himself; sure it concerns me, to look better to my wayes, than to [Page 11]go a whoring after the idols of my foolish imagination. I find to my wo, I converse mostly with nothings, not with thee the Creator, or thy creatures; but with the idols and creatures of my own corrupt fancy. For as there is no such God. as I but too oft conceive thee: so there are no such-creatures, as I oft con­ceive them to be. There is no God less than omnipotent; there are no creatures more than nullipotent. I am making an idol, not worshipping thee, when I contemplate of thee otherwise, than of an Albeing God! and I am setting my Pro. 23.5. eyes on that which is not, when I am meditating of them, as any other, than as very Nothings, as to subsistence, without thy providence, as they were to ex­istence, without thy creation. There were variableness with thee indeed, and more than shadow of turning, if thou wert not as Albeing a God now, as before thou madest all be­ings: and sure if I, and all thy o­ther creatures, were more than No­things; [Page 12]and if thou wert not-the very Being of our beings, thou couldst not so be. Teach me then, oh my God! teach me to have all creatures manifest in my sight, and thee the Creator also! Shew me manifestly, That thou Art as really, and to Faith as apparently, the Al­being God and Good, as thou wast before the world began; and that all thy creatures Beings, consist in being Nothing without thee now, as before they ever were manifest to me. Oh my God! how thou hast made Nothings, but very Nothings! not one Being, that has any Beings more, without that which it de­rives from thy prouidence, than it had without that, which it drew from thy creation. Not being, with­out thee, is as essential to a creature, as being by thee. For could it be any thing without thee, its name would be I am, Isa. 40.6. and it must be a God. And wo is me, if I deny the Unity of the Godhead, as oft as I think of created Beings, without [Page 13]the thought of their not Being, it being not possible that thou shouldst be, I Am: if there be any beside thee, or if there be any thing be­side thee, which is not a Nothing without thee! Every creature de­clares by its experience, that God is its 1 Co. 15.28. All in All; and God works all its works, in it, and for it. Lord make my soul (the worst of thy creatures) to make thee its All in All; the Being of its being, and of all other beings, neither conceiving of thee as less than All things, or of the world, more than a Nothing. I may lose it, and lose nothing; but were it so, that I could save my soul, and lose thee, I should lose my All. I may gain a world, and gain just nothing; but could I gain thee with the very loss of my soul, I should gain all things! For, sure I am, gain is of Good onely, &c. Mat. 19.7. There is none Good but God; thy Self, oh my God, who dost truly say to thy creatures all, without me ye can do nothing.

I Will now go to my soul, I will consider her wayes, and be wise. Come now, and let us reason toge­ther, oh my soul! If I should ask that, which was once God's Questi­on, From whence connest thou? I doubt you must return, that which was once the devil's Answer; Job 2.2. From going to and fro in the earth. The earth, which he hath Job 38.6. hang'd on nothing, and charg'd you to lay no stress upon, while you keep in this my Co. 4.7. earthen Vessel, your life, indeed, must be on earth; but Phil. 3.20. your conversation in heaven. I would that you so use the world, as not abusing it, or your self! You are both poor enough, and you know who bids you, wrong not the [Page 15]poor, because the Lord is their Ma­ker. If you tell me, That God pro­nounc'd all that he made Ge. 1.31. very good: I must tell you, So it was, and so it is, for Gods ends with it. But whether it be not as very ill for your ends with it, is a doubt; He intended all for his own glory: for which 'tis good and fit, if you intend it for yours, you will find it much otherwise; because though i Co. 1.27. God has chose, even the foolish things of the world, to manifest his wisedom with: you must chuse the wise ones of a better world; to ma­nifest yours. God that so loved the world, as you know, bids you not to love it, as you are not ignorant of; for the earth he has given into the hands of the sons of men, but 'tis himself he gives to the Son of God: And because he resolv'd to satisfie them, that they should, and could have no more, he calls him­self their Ps 16.5. La. 3.24. portion and godli­ness, with content in it self, their great gain; pearl of price, and one [Page 16]thing necessary. Oh my soul! The mighty Lord who humbles him­self to behold the things that are done in earth, calls thee to look up to him in heaven, making the earth thy footstool, as well as his own. Knowing the emptiness of the earth, and of the fulness thereof; knowing the creature not onely subject to va­nity, but altogether lighter; know­ing all made things to be but no­thing, he charges thee to trust in none of their vanities. I hope for salvation from none of their hills, but to say of all creatures, as he of all men; Psa. 14.3. There is none that doth good, no not one. Ponder it then, oh my soul! though thy self art a very nothing; and if it be worth my while to lose thee, to gain the world, yet sure, it were a hard bar­gain to lose thy God for ten thou­sand worlds: yea observe, whoever parts with God, parts with him for nothing, though it be to save him­self, and all he has. And do but think how heinously God must [Page 17]needs take it, That of Nothings themselves, any thing should be thought too much to part with, for him who is our All. What thinkest thou, oh my soul! of Popish do­ctrines of Merit? we our selves are but Nothings, without God; our services are less, and are incapable of being greater than our selves. Our God is our All, if we give him any thing that's good, we must give him his own goodness; and 'tis a pro­digious way of meriting, to give a­ny one his own. Take heed to your self of this leaven, and know, You have, and are nothing, but what is Gods own. I adjure thee by the li­ving God, That thou for ever seek him, as no less than thy All; that thou tell him, That though every thing he made answers his Ends, 'tis He onely, that made every thing, can answer thine. That thou say plainly, That unless he be all things, he is a poor God: All he has beside himself, being very Nothing to thy wants and desires, and such as leaves [Page 18]thee in straits, in the very Job 20.22. ful­ness of its sufficiency. Thou know­est, oh my soul! that wherever in a Duty, Prayer, &c. he gives in of himself, to a poor Nothing spirit, 'tis Job 3.17. there the wicked cease from troubling, and there the weary are at rest.

OH my God! even Job 4.8. as I have seen, They that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same: & 20. They are destroyed from morning to evening, they pe­rish for ever, none regarding it, Were it of necessary choice, I vow I had rather have the very devil my Guest, than Ro. 7.17. the sin that dwelleth in me; and have Satan my Tyrant, than sin my King. Other evils are drones, it is sin 1 Co. 15.56. which is the sting [Page 19]of all. Make me any thing what thou pleasest, besides Isa. 45.99 a striver with my Maker, the Deu 32.33. wine of which contention, is the poyson of dragons, and venom of asps. Oh my God! I read that 2 Ti 4.3. godliness is profitable unto all things; if so, it must be profitable to sin it self; I mean, the finding, driving, and keeping it out, and profitable to it self, in maintaining, feeding, and cloathing it self well. 2. iT 6.6. With con­tent herein. I am told 'tis great gain, and I protest I believe it, because as thou dost Psa. 4.3. set a part him that is godly, for thy self: so he that is godly, sets apart thee for himself. Methinks it is a strange question, Ex. 15.11. who is like unto thee— Glorious in holiness? Lord, I would ask thee, Who has any glory or holiness, but is just like thee? and that with a likeness of participation and repre­sentation. Were I ask'd, to whom I would liken God, I would answer (in both those wayes) to every Saint on earth. For, Joh. 5.22. as the Father [Page 20]judgeth no man; so neither do they, but commit all judgment to God the Son: As Ge. 18.25. the Judge of the whole earth doth right, 1 Pe. 1.17. so doe they, and that Phil. 2.15. without respect of persons, their own, or others! The same mind is in them, that was in God our Saviour; and I may bold­ly say of Saints wills-deliberate Ro. 9.19. who hath resisted his will? To will, just as God wills, is Ro. 7.18. present with them: Thou chusest them, and they chuse thee; and they are a chusing, as well as 1 Pe 2.9. Luke 10.42. a chosen, Generation: Among their affections, there is not one (habitual) Non conformist. The very love of God 1 Jo. 4.16. dwells in them; their love and Gods has one object: and 'tis no other than that God hates, which they hate! if God loves his enemy, they Mat. 5.14. do so to: if he hates themselves, they will do so too: Their way is to follow and imitate God, and nothing satisfies them, but his Ps. 17.15. likeness: They never think they have done like themselves, save when they have [Page 21]done like Christ Jesus. They make the very graven image, and likeness of him that is above, in their con­versation here below on the earth. Their very eating, drinking, and sleeping bears the image and super­scription of Christ on it; and if any word or deed be not conformed to his likeness, season'd with justice, like salt, they disown and renounce it, and would not have it imputed by God unto them, for the whole earth. I may then call Saints, i Co 11.7. the image and glory of God, the ex­press image and likeness of him! O my God, my God! Let this like­ness of thine be mine; and let not my heart or life be disfigured by my corruptions and temptations, which Mat. 6.7. use vain repetitions, as the heathen do, thinking that they shall be heard for their much speak­ing, against thy likeness. Scatter my proud Lu. 1.51, 52. lusts, pull down the migh­ty ones from their seats, exalt my likeness to thee, which is of so low degree: Hear me, oh my God! [Page 22]what I say, e're I give sleep to my eyes, or slumber to my eye-lids. Job 6.8, 9. Oh that might have my re­quest, and that God would grant me the thing I long for! Even that it would please God to destroy my unlikene ss to himself; and that he would let loose his hand, and cut it off!

Pro. 10.26. AS vineger to the teeth, and as smoke to the eyes: so is a sluggish heart, to them that send it towards thee. Oh piety! Pro. 13.7. There is, that maketh himself rich without thee, yet hath nothing! There is, that maketh himself poor with thee, yet hath great riches. Psal. 9.10. They that know thy Name, will put their trust in thee; for thou hast not forsaken them, that seek thee! [Page 23]They that seek thee early, will find thee; and they that find thee, never lose their way. If God himself make me happy without thee, he must make me happy without happiness. Mat 8.8. I am not worthy indeed, that thou shouldst come under my roof! because in my house, there are ma­ny mansions of thy implacable ene­mies, because too too often I have Mat 7.6. given thy sacred things to dogs, and thy pearl to swine. I have killed the counsels and rebukes that were thy prophets, and stoned the Em­bassadors that were sent unto me! I have sometimes betrayed thee with a kiss, and calling thee Lord, done thee disservice! Sometimes, I have hid thy Talent in a Napkin, and o­therwhile sacrific'd to thee, with the strange fire of blind zeal, fire prepared by the devil and his an­gels! I have seen thee a stranger, and not took thee in! Naked, and cloathed thee not, so much as with the garment of praise! Sick and in prison hast thou been, and I not vi­sited [Page 24]thee! Nay, I have cry'd with the rabble, Lu. 23.21. Crucifie him, cruci­fie him! I will Psal. 38.18. declare my ini­quity, and I will be sorry for my sin. I will now count all things but dung that I may win thee! Though thou slayest me, I will put my trust in thee, and the loftiness of my looks to thee, shall never be humbled! Open, oh piety! open thou my lips, and my mouth shall speak forth thy praise! in thee I'le Act. 17.28. live, move, and have my being! I'le lust after no other beauty, thy Pro. 5.19. breasts shall satisfie me at all times, and I'le be ravisht alwayes with thy love! I'le fight the devil, and wrestle with God for thee!

OH my God, my God! Psa. 2.1. Job 21.1. Why do the Heathen rage! and the people of the earth set themselves against the Lord, and his Christ: Why say they to thee, De­part from us, for we desire not the knowledge of thy wayes? Why cant they abide Christ's Gospel Mal. 3.2. coming, and endure that he should appear? Does Heb. 7.19. thy Law make nothing perfect? yes it does. It makes the world Psa 139.2. hate thee, with a per­fect hatred, and count thee its ene­my! Thy Law which binds the Kings of their lusts, in chains, and their Nobles in fetters of iron; Psa. 135 8. which smites the first born of their Egypt, and dasheth their little ones against the stones, makes them say to the whole Trinity, Mat 25. Depart [Page 26]ye cursed, and call to the devil, Jud. 9.11. as all the trees to the Bramble, Come thou and reign over us! Oh my God, Ro. 7.7. I had not known my own sin, or other mens, but by the Law; for the sake of which Gal. 3.29. Schoolmaster, the whole world is out of love with thy School, Mat 5.19. Had Christ made an end of the Law. I see none would have been offended in him; but I see now, his first Sermon has made him thou­sands of rebells. But till the Fifth chapter of Matthew be blotted out, there's no hope of their return: They will still pray, That Mat 6.9, 10, 13. their Father which is in hell, his name may be hallow'd; That his kingdom? may come, and his will be done, in earth as 'tis in hell; That his may be the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. But oh my God! were Job 6.25. right words forcible, and would arguing re­prove, there were some hope! For, alas! alas hast thou not made it Jam 1.29. perfect liberty, as perfect law? [Page 27]And have not the Ro. 8 21. sons of God a glorious liberty, whom God re­strains from nothing, but Joh. 8.32. sla­uery; and exacts nothing from, but to Mat. 5.4. be like himself! Lord, Thou hast commanded nothing that I know of, but the Ex. 20. having no other God beside thee, and what hurt is in this, there is no other to have! And if we make an idol, that is, a Nothing, what true plea­sure is theré in serving such a Lye, any more than in making it? If it be Mal. 3.14. vain to serve any God, sure 'tis so, to serve a vain one, as a Phi. 3.19. Belly, and the other gods of this world! Oh my God! in taking humane nature on me, I have took on me Phi. 2.7. the form of a servant; and his servant I am, to whom Ro. 6.16. I obey: could I find a better Ma­ster, I would not say as David, Psa. 116.10. I am thy servant, I am thy servant! I would say of this thy Law, 'Tis a hard saying, who can bear it? Nay, I would psal. 2.3. break this Bond in sun­der, and cast this cord behind my [Page 28]back, if I could! But seeing Isa. 44.6 thou art God, and there is none be­sides thee. If this Law be a Mat 11.30. yoke, I'le say it, 'tis an easie one; and if any burden, light enough in conscience, a burden that I would not be without for my head, and a yoke, I had rather lose my neck, than lose it. If there be any 2 Co 4.17. weight in it, 't is a weight of glory; and if at any time it seem Heb 12.11. grie­vous, I am sure it does seem so one­ly, but afterwards bringeth forth the peaceable fruit, which unde­ceives us. I am sure, as many as have known the good of it, have took joyfully the Heb 10.34. spoiling of all other goods for it. If it mar any mirth, how comes Psal. 16.11. fulness of joy into thy presence? If it check pleasures, how flourish they so at thy right hand? Sure enough, this Law is in full force there: if it confine a man, David took an ill course to walk Psal. 119 45. at liberty, when he chose to live by it, for that end: and they err, who call thy service perfect freedom; if [Page 29]it makes valour flat, how come pro. 2 8. the righteous to be bold as lions? and they that violate it, to flee, when none pursue! Oh my God! I do confess, I am Jam. 1.18. a double-min­ded man, and therefore unstable in my wayes: I see that within me, which tastes thy Law as Mat 27.34. vine­ger and gall; but I have also that in me, which sayes to thy Law, Thy Can 4.11. lips, oh my spouse! drop as the honey-comb; honey and milk are under thy tongue, and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon. I have that, which sayes to thy Law, 1 Sa. 17.43. Am I a dog, that thou comest to me with staves! And I have that which rejoyns; yes, 'tis a dog, for the love of Christ beat it out. I have that indeliberate­ness, which upon the devils, Mat 3.9. all these things I will give thee; will give the Law a repulse: and I have that deliberacy, which if it might have Nu. 22.18. a house full of gold and silver, will not go beyond the word of thy Law, to do more or less. I [Page 30]have that which resents Mic. 4. the best of thy Laws, as a briar; and the most upright, as a thorn hedge. And I have that, which in the Mal. 3.7. day or night, when it makes up its jewels, maketh Job 28.18. no mention of coral, or pearls, Ophirs gold, or the precious Sardonyx, but calls thy Law its Isa. 58.15. delight, the ornament of Grace, Pro. 3.22. life to my soul, and grace to my neck: and this I can truly aver, Psa. 139.21, 23. I hate the men, and things, that hate thy Law, I am griev'd with those that rise up against it! I hate them with perfect hatred, and I count them my enemies. When thy righ­teous Law Psal. 341.5. smites me, it is a kindness; when it reproves me, 'tis an excellent oyl. It breaks not my head with thoughts, how to break its own; but my heart with cares, how to get a plaister from Christ! For though I can't Pro. 18.14. bear an un­broken spirit, neither can I bear a wounded one! Some imagine, that the voice of thy Law is nothing, but Cursed be every one! But me [Page 31]thinks I hear all thy Laws, saying with one mouth, Ge. 1.26. Come let us make man in our own image! and their design seems to me, to be Tit. 2 14. the redeeming us from all iniquity, purifying us as a peculiar people, zealous of good works. Oh my God! none ever perish'd by the Law falling on them, but by their own Mat 4.44. falling first, on the Law; 'tis we break it, and our selves in it. If none are its Joh. 15.14. friends, but such as do whatsoever it commands, I must stand out! But if Ro. 13.10. love unto, be the fulfilling of the Law, fure I am one, such a one as 'tis. Though Luk 2.1. Augustus like, it tax the whole world, and meet not with any that payes it, so slender tribute of obedience, as my rebellious heart: Yet this, oh my God, Psa. 38.18. I declare, I will declare my iniquity, and I will be sorry for my sin! For I must needs say of thy Law, as Joh. 19.4, 6. Pilate of thy Son, I see no sault in him! I will pray, That all its Heb. 10.13. enemies within me, may be made [Page 32]its foot-stool, and that it may Jude 14.15. come into me, with ten thousand of its arguments, to execute judgment upon all, and convince all ungodly lusts of their hard speeches against it! and that now he may Re. 2.27. rule them with a rod of iron! For re­ally, Ro. 3 19. the way of peace they have not known, except by fighting against it. Oh my God! let thy Law take away Joh. 15.2. every branch that beareth fruit, let it purge it, that it may bring forth more fruit! It hath of Mat 4.24. old heal'd sick peo­ple, taken with divers diseases and torments; those that were possess'd with devils, those which were lu­natick, and had the palsie! And sure its Nu. 11.23. hand is not shortned, that it cannot save! It has of old, led souls into the Can. 2.4, 5. Banquetting house of the Gospel, staying them with its flagons, and comforting them with its apples, when they have been sick of love to God, and ha­tred to their sins! Other Isa 3.12. Ica­ders cause poor souls to err. But, [Page 33]oh my God, let this Luk 1.79. Guide lead my feet into the way of peace!

LOrd, when I turn to thy pro­mises, I am ready to ask my soul; Pro 23.5. Wilt thou set thine eyes on that which is not? as if thy mouth spake vanity, and thy right hand, were a right hand of lies! Psa. 104.8. Promises from God, think I, Joh. 3 9. how can these things be? Psa. 113.9. He humbles himself indeed, to behold the things that are done in heaven! But he won't humble them so low, as to bring them to us on earth to, will he? Mat. 16.19. Whomsoever thou bindest to thy service on earth, to them art thou bound, for reward­ing each one in heaven? Lord, Isa. 53.1. who can believe this report? and to whom is this Arm of the Lord [Page 34]revealed? Pro. 19 4. Every one is a friend to him that giveth gifts; Jam 1.17. and if so good & perfect gifts, come down from thee, oh my God! Why is not every power of my soul, thy friend? Pro. 18.16. A mans gift maketh room for him, won't God's do so too? 'Tis good advice, Mar. 13.5. Take heed least any man deceive you! But what, am I affraid God will de­ceive me too? Psa. 119.86. I hy command­ments are faithful, and are not Ro. 4.16. thy promises sure? Are they call'd exceeding great, because they ex­ceed belief and credibility? 2 re. 1.4. and precious, because too good to be true? Are their Yea and 2 Co 1 20. Amen changeable into Nay, nay? and must my faith, Jam. 2. 19. as the devils, believe and tremble, while it does so? Shall I, oh my God! shall I think it not He. 6 18.17.16. impossible for thee to lie, be­cause my own incredulousness, has made thee swear? Do mens oaths put an end to strife, Luk 1.37. and shall not thine? Must I be jealous, that thy Word is the more infirm, because [Page 35]firm'd by an oath? Oh foolish brute, Gal. 3.1. who hath bewitched me? Oh my God, my God! Acts 2.39. thy promi­ses to me and my children, are to them that are afar off from belie­ving them! We make Mat 22.5. light of them, and go every one our wayes; one to his Book, another to his play: A fit of sickness, a storm at Sea, &c. will make me cry. Mat 14 18. Bring them hither to me; but alas even then, Mat 22.14. though many are cal­led, few are chosen; they cannot an­swer me satisfactorily, Job 9 30. one of a thousand. Nav, sometimes Psa. 14.3. there's none that does me good, no not one. Though they have all Joh 10.30. one Father, and in truth, they and their Father are one; For my very life, I can't Psal. 61.31. trust in them at all times, an least not securely; For some times, in my thirst, they have given me Joh 19.29. vineger to drink, the condi­tions frightning me more, than the grace comforting. But oh my God, thou knowest, I wish I were Mat 25.43, 44 sick, so they might visit me: and in [Page 36]prison, so they might but minister to me! for they have instructed ma­ny, Job 4.3, 4. and have strengthened weak hands! They have upholdem him that was falling, and strengthened feeble knees. Dying souls have set down under their shadow, Can 2.3. and their fruit has been sweet to their taste! From thy promises, oh my God, I have known those who have Can 5.1. gathered myrrh, and spice; ho­ney and honey-comb, wine and milk, when they had been Lam 3.15, 17. filled with bitterness, and made drunk with wormwood: when their souls had been removed from peace, and they had forgot prosperitie! Psal. 30.6. In my prosperitie I would say indeed, I should never be moved, and con­fidently bid Luk 12.19. my soul, take more ease than now it dares, as having Goods laid up for many years; yea, for eternity, I would remove Ec. 11.10. sorrow from my heart, could I but undoubtingly say of thy promises. That Joh 17.4, 6, 10. I have finished the world they gave me to do! Could I but [Page 37]boldly tell thee, oh my God, That thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and all mine are thine, and thine are mine, and I am glorified in them! But alas, as oft as these are not my Psal. 33.1, 2. shield, my glory, and the lifter up of my head. Lord, how are they increased that trouble me; many are they that rise up a­gainst me; many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. By night on Can. 3.1. my bed, when I seek the particular pro­mises, which I have chose for my joy, when I seek them, and find them not: When Can 5.6. I open my heart to them, and they withdraw themselves, and be gone, when Pro. 1.28. I seek them early too, and can't find them, though my coneeits be­fore had been high, Oba 1.3, 4. though I had exalted my self as the Eagle, and set my nest among the Stars, how am I brought down in a mo­menr? How are my [...] 2.7. lofty looks humbled, and my haughtiness brought low? My own former [Page 38]comforts Job 30.10, 15. abhor me: They flee from me, and spare not to spit in my face! Terrors are turned upon me, they pursue my soul as the wind, and my welfare passeth away as a cloud. For why? 'tis very true, in all thy Laws and Threat­nings, Psal. 34.8. I see the Lord is good, but 'tis in the promises, that I taste and see; he is good, I can safely say, all thy words are sweet, but 'tis of thy Psa. 119.103. promises, that I dare cry out, Oh how sweet are thy words to my taste: All their sweet­ness is lasting, not onely giving my soul a feast, but a continual one; and that a physical, not a disease­gendring one. It doth good, and that like a medicine, it's honey pur­ges, as well as pleases. Were it sweet Job 20.12. as sin, only in the mouth, I could not give it a good word. Oh my God, the Pro. 9.17. stoln waters of it, which my heart in musing takes secretly away; the bread of it, that I eat in secret places, I can't say, How sweet they are; 1 Co 15.41. there [Page 39]is one glory of the Sun, another of the Moon, that gives light, and heat too, and life, this onely light. There is one glory of thy commanding word, that Moon rules in the night we are in, throughout our life, in this dark world. There is another glory of thy promising word, that Sun gives light and life to poor souls, and makes 2 Co 5.6. us present with the Lord, even while we are absent: And really Mat 9.15. the chil­dren of the Bride-chamber can t mourn, while in thy promises they have the Bridegroom with them. When they sit at any time in the dark, and see no light; lo, thy pro­mises do make both Josh 10.12. the Sun a­foresaid, to stand still, upon their Gibeon; and the Moon in their val­ley of Ajalon, till the faces of their enemies are cloathed with Psa. 83.16. shame, and the crown of their faith flourisheth on their own heads. Mat. 2.20. The Herods which seek the lives of my poor Infant-Graces and Com­forts, oh my God, they are never [Page 40]stone dead. I can never say, They which sought my childrens lives, are dead: No, they make, and I am sure, they keep war Rev 17.14. with my Lambs. Thy very promises Psal. 46.9. can't make their wars to cease; but they can Psal. 68.30. and do scatter them that delight in war? and that which they help me do, makes me say ex­perimentally, Ex. 15.39. The Lord is a Man of War. But, oh my God, my God, How to put on this ar­mour, 'tis rare that I can tell! Though thy promises be Ro. 13.12. armour of Light, yet sure 'tis such dazling light, that I can't tell how to wind and turn it. From whence it comes to pass, that I am daily Lev. 26.25. deliver­ed over into the hands of sin and sorrow, doubt and fear, and all ene­mies; and didst thou not, as an e­very dayes Emanuel, rid me out, and lead my Re. 7.23. captive, the sorrows of hell would not one­ly compass me, but swallow me up, and I should be, not as my 1 Isa 15.29. Savi­our was, rejected of men, and a [Page 41]man of sorrows, but rejected of God, Isa. 53 3. and a man of sorrows. How oft, oh my God, do I hear that voice, Luk 12.20. This night thy soul shall be required of thee! How oft am I afraid, to Pro. 6.4. give sleep to my eies, evenwhen I have much ado to keep it from them? How few nights in a week can I sleep, as do 1 Th. 5.6. athers? for they rest from their labours, which I can't; Psa. 40.12. in­numerable evils compass me about, my iniquities take hold of me, so that I am not able to look up, or lye down! my conscience it self reviles me, saying, Psa. 42.3. Where is now thy God? I am Psa. 29.9. dumb to my friends, because they can't re­move my stroak: Nay, I live, 2 Co 6.10. though as sorrowful, yet as al­wayes rejoycing, in my worst fits, being sure of this, La. 3. I am a living man. And 'tis meet for the Isa. 38.10. li­ving, to praise thee, not complain of thee. But, oh my God, my God, I pray thee for time to come, let that word of Truth, by which [Page 42] [...] Jam 1.18. begat'st me, and of a stone dead imp, madest me a child to Abraham. Feed my 1 Pe 2.2. Babie graces and comforts with its sincere milks, and be within me a word of Life. Amen, Amen.

OH my God, I have thought, That 'tis not for indisturbed Professors, Pro. 31.4, 5, 6, 7. to drink too much of the wine of the promises; and that least they drink, and forget the Law, its direction and ob igation! I have judg'd the strong drink of thy promises to belong to him, that is ready to perish, and their wines, to them that are of feeble hearts, that they may drink, and not for­get, but redress their poverty by Christ's wealth, and consider, That in him they shall feel their misery no more. Now, thou knowest, I [Page 43]am one of that wretched number of men, who are setled on their lees, and that (too often) say, Zep. 1.12. The Lord will not do good, Deu 24.19. neither will he do evil! Oh my God, thou knowest, I have blest my self in my heart, saying, I shall have peace, though I walk in the imagination of my heart! I have not been Jer. 48.11. emptied from vessel to vessel, nei­ther have I gone into the swift cap­tivity of the Gospel: My taste has remain'd in me, and my scent has not been chang'd, so setled have I been on my lees! Oh my God, I need, that word of thine, which is quick and powerful, Heb. 4.12. sharper than any two edged sword, pier­cing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit! I need some of its faithful Pro. 27.6. wounds, which will do me infinitely more good, than all the Pro. 28.23. deceitful kisses. which my presumption will never be able to fasten, on thy sweetest promises! Oh correct me with them, with­hold them not from my soul; for if [Page 44]thou beatest me with them, I sha not die! Whatever the minds of others are, Lord, thou shalt beat me with thy Pro. 23.13, 14. rod of threatnings, and deliver my soul from the hell of self-liking, and self-applauding. I dare not say to thy richest promi­ses, Job 6.22, 23. bring unto me, or give me reward of your rich substance! or deliver me from the enemies hand, redeem me from the hand of the Almighty; without first say­ing to thy threatnings, O ye just statutes, upon my hardness of heart, and all my wicked lusts, Psal. 11.6. rain ye fire, brimstone, and horri­ble tempest! Bring upon them, that shut out my peace, 2 Pe 1. a swift destruction; for I am sure, before such their destruction, the heart of man will be haughty! O Lord, without this passing through the fire of thy threatnings, I find, when I do my best, my hope is cut off, and my trust is but Job [...] a spi­ders web! Thy justice conspicuous, in thy treats, being as needfull to [Page 45]keep me from presumption, as the mercy in thy promises, to keep me from despair! Oh my God, I love thy book the better for thy threats, because I find, they are the harbin­gers of the promises, and Laws to the world. The world cries out, Joh. 6.6. They are hard sayings, who can bear them? I esteem them soft, and gentle, in every thing, saving their objects, to whom they are denounced; and they are Ro. 2.5. heart-hearted indeed. Thou, oh my God, their authour, art a God Ex. 34.6. of grace, thy end in giving them is 2 Ti. 1.9. gracious; their effects on honest hearts, are graci­ous; but to the hard-hearted, all things are hard: It's true, they bruise but Gen 3.15. a sinners heel, even while they bruise sins head; if they do give us stripes, those stripes are gifts, for with them, we are Isa. 53.5. heal'd; they never cutting open any more than an orifice, for the oyl of thy promises to come in at! I know for the grace of the promises lips, and the Can 1.2. savour of their good [Page 46]ointment, the virgins, foolish as well as wise, love them and follow them! But, oh my God, thou Mat. 25.12. knowest thy holy promises will not give that which is holy unto dogs, or dogged snarlers at thy righteous treats; they won't cast their pearls unto swine! Mat 7.6, 7. They may ask, and conceit it is gi­ven them; they may seek and fancy they find divine puri ie and peace, but a lie is in their right hand, Eccl 4.12. and their three fold cords of ignorance, errour, and pride are ea­sily broken, sometimes with mans, but ever with Gods judgement; which hath made me chuse Heb 11.25. ra­ther to suffer the humiliations and breakings of thy threats, than to enjoy such kind of pleasures of hea­ven it self, as are but for a season. Oh my God, I find within me, that which is sweetly drawn to thee, with the Hos. 11.4. cords of a man, and the bands of love: But I also find within me, that which were not Jer. 23.19. thy word. A hammer, it could ne­ver beat any good into me. If thou [Page 47]onely Can 1.5. drawest thy spiritual part with thy promises, it will run after thee! but my carnal part is not made willing to stoop, but in the Psal. 110. power of thy forcive Threats. Mar 16.16. He that believes shall be saved, will animate the Law of my mind; but 'tis he that believes not, shall be damn'd, that will break in pie­ces Ro. 7.23. the Law of my Members. I thank thee, oh my God, for such Zec 2.5. a wall of Fire, round about my graces and duties! The Law is a defence, and the promises are Eccl 7.12. a defence against the weakness of Grace! But these Threats are the defence, against the streng th of cor­ruption: Ten Laws, and ten promi­ses, won't Deu 32.30. chase a thousand lusts; but Two of these will put ten thousand to flight. Oh my God, Thy promises do lead many, but thy Threatnings 2 Co 10.5. drive every thought, to the obedience of thy Son, Lu 19.27. even those that would not, that he should reign over them. These rods of iron, rule those my [Page 48]Rebels, whose 1 Sa 15.23. rebellion is as the sin of witchcrast; they are the rod, which with the staffe ef thy Laws and Promises, do exceeding­ly Psa. 23.4. comfort me. If I say, That I (the chief of sinners) have no sin, I deceive my self: and if I say, whilst I have sin, 1 Jo 1.8. I am so whole, as not to need the Lancet of thy Threatnings, sure the Truth is not in me. 2 Ti 3, 16. All thy Scripture is profi­table, I will never except the threa­tning part. Psal 19.9, 10, 11. Thy judgements, David sates, are to be desired above gold, and are sweeter than honey: By them, not onely thy enemies, but thy Friends are warn'd and in keeping them, as the apple of ones eies, there is great reward. Lord, I find this true of thy Threatnings, which as Ro. 7.12. thy Law are holy, just and good: and as 2 Pe 1.4. thy promises are exceeding great and precious, and so let them ever be to my soul: Amen, Amen, and Amen.

OH my God, (the greater in­cludes the less) See Rom. 8 31. he that has the best Friend, has all friends. Methinks when he bids me Pro 22.24. make no friendship with an angry man, doth almost bid me, Make none with any man! For indeed, though Eccl 7.11. anger rests not, save in the bo­some of Fools, yet it finds too easie an impress into the bosome of Pro. 15.1. the Wisest! Though thou my God beest Joel 2.13. slow to anger, they are few of thy servants who are so: in­somuch, That Solomon must be un­derstood of Dutie, what should be; not of Certaintie, what is, when he saies, That Pro. 17.17. a friend loves at all times. Brethren, Zec. 13.6. there are, that one would think, were born for ad­versity indeed; the giving it to us, not the taking us from it. Nay, and [Page 42](such is the heighth of pride) few give their heartie friendship on o­ther ther tearms, than what the common Saviour gives his upon; every fa­miliar saying implicitly to us, Joh 15.14. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatso­ever I command you! and if we won't make them our Gods, they'l make themselves our Devils: if we shall Esth 3.5, 6. be Mordecai's, they'l be Haman's Pro. 19.4. Wealth, 'tis true, makes many friends; and when goods encrease, they are encreased, but 'tis to eat them; and when they are Ecc 5.11. eat up, many friends will not make wealth. Mat 11.5. the poor shall have the Gospel preach'd to them, and be turn'd off with a 2 Ti 4.8. God will provide: but for any glad ti­dings out of the worldly friends charitie, they must not expect it, but sit down, and content them with 1 Ti. 6.6. the gain of their own Go­spel! Godliness, which is indeed so 1 Ti 4.8, 18. profitable to all things, that their friends unkindness is matter of pure notice, no resent. Oh my [Page 53]God, I have seen precious friends take much more joyfully Heb. 10.34. the spoiling of their friends, than the spending of a pittance of their goods. I have seen them in a cor­rupt sense, 1 Th 5.21. hold fast that which is good; and making what good­ness they have laid out, as fleeting Hos. 6.4. as Judah's, a very morning cloud, and early dew. Sure if there be any faith in mortals, it is less than a very grain of mustard seed, which is the Mat 13.33, least of all seeds, though when it's grown up into high professions, &c. it is the grea­test among herbs, and becomes a tree: so that silly deluded men, (hastning to snares as very birds,) come build most strange nests, and lodge in the confidence of its bran­ches. It seems from mens practices, to be of the same certaintie. Ro. 3.4. God is true, and that every man is a liar, and experience manifests it, That to trust to man, is but to make Isa. 28.15. lies our refuge, and Jer. 13.25. trust in falshood: For out of the Jam. 3.10, 12 same [Page 54]mouth proceedeth both blessing and cursing; and out of the same heart sweet and bitter. Oh my God, when in distress one shall call aloud to his friend, (as 1 Ki 18.27, 29. the Baaelites to Ba­all (either he is taking a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must not be awaked: There's nei­ther voice, nor any to answer or re­gard, if otherwise; yet the friend can't shut up the sea of sorrows Job 38.8, 11, 31. with doors, or say to ones calamitie, Hitherto shalt thou come, and no further; he cannot bind the sweet influences of the Pleiades, or loose the bonds of Orion. My friend is Psal 23.1. my shepherd, (my friend in Court) therefore I shall not want, is a Lo­gick in its argument unsound; in its experiment unsafe! No mortal Can 4.4. neck is like the tower of David, builded for an Armorie, hnng with Psal 35 2. Bucklers and Shields, against all assaults: Nay, there's none but what may need our help, while we seek its. Mat 25.8. If our lamps be gone out, it's vain to say to friends, Give [Page 55]us of your oyl. Joh. 3.27. Christ saies, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from Heaven; much less can he give any thing, except he receive it from heaven. Whence it came to pass not unfrequently, Ro. 7.19, 17. That as the evil our friends would not do us, that they do: So the good they would do us, that they do not; or if they do do it, it is no more they that do it, but God by them. Help me then, oh my God, and teach me for Jesus sake, Mat 2.25. to render to friends the things that are of friends; and unto thee, oh my God, the things that are thine. Make me know, that the flesh of my friends is Isa. 40.6. grass, as well as other mens; and though their love comes up like a flower, it's obnoxious to be cut, or trod down like grass, Mat 6.30. which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the o­ven: Be thou my friend, who chan­gest not, but lovest to the end; yea, world without end, Rev 2.10. who art faithful to the Death, and givest [Page 56]thy friends a crown of Life; whose love neither death can strike, Ro: 3.38, 39 nor life consume, nor angels stop in the way, nor principalities Ro. 13.2. and powers resist to any, but their own damnation; nor things present cross, nor things to come annoy, nor heighth pull down, nor depth swal­low up, nor any other creature do any other injury unto. Oh my God, make me know, men Jam. 1.8. are dou­ble-winded, and their love is unsta­ble in all its waies, He. 12.15. any root of bitterness may spring up, and trou­ble it; the rust of money Mat 6.19. may corrupt it; thieves may break in and steal it! An unbridled tongue may ride over it, and spoil it! Oh make me sell all I have to get thy love; thy love which is an inheritance 1 Pe 1.4, 5. incorruptible, undefiled, and that fades not away, reserv'd in heaven, kept through my faith indeed, but by thy power, unto salvation! Make me know, good Lord, That all the friends on earth, can't make one Mat. 5.36. hair of my head white or black; nor [Page 57]by Mat 6.27. taking ever so much thought, add one cubit to my stature! when sick or sorrowful, there's not one to whom I can say, Mat. 8.2, 7. If thou wilt thou canst make me clean and whole! nor can a soul of them say, I will come and heal thee. Job 7.38. But oh my God, he that believeth in thee, though he were dead, yet should he live! Thou canst Ezo 37.6. lay sinews upon dry bones, cover them with flesh, and breath in life! 'Tis but a word, Heb 11.3. and a world with thee! Ecc 1.15. that which is crooked, thou canst make strait; and that which is wanting, thou canst number it. My God, my God, I beseech thee put away my lovers and friends from me, and Job 19.13. let my acquaintance be estranged from that intimacie and perpetuitie of converse with them, which hinders my communion with thee! Though of all things below, they are the sweetest, they cannot Pro 30, 8. feed me with food convenient for me; though I am greatly prone to put Pro. 25.19. confidence in them, I [Page 58]find that confidence in them in time of trouble, is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joynt. Though they have Eph 4.28. stole away too too much of my affection already. Oh my God, let them steal no more! Enable me to Luk 14.26. hate my very fa­ther, as much as is requisite, to come a friend to thee! Be thou my whole acquaintance, and let me be ever with thee! either in delights, or desires! Let me be a Psal 119.23. compani­on of all them that love thee; but let my communion be with, and my strong confidence be in thee, who art never better known than trust­ed! Amen, my God and Saviour, Amen, Amen!

BLessed God Job 6.25. how forcible are right words, thine I am sure are Right, because thine! and right forcible, because they are such Jer. 23.29. hammers as break the very Rocks of my heart! such a fire as pierces into my inmost depths, and reaches the dross, 1 Co 2.9. which no Eye hath seen, or ear heard. Such Monitors, as whoever won't hear, Luk 16.31. would not believe, if one came from the dead! Such as Psal. 119.9. cleanse the ways of even young men themselves, so hard to be reclaimed, that David cries out astonishedly, Wherewith­all shall a man young, cleanse his waies! Of very stocks and stones, thy word Mat. 3.9. has rais'd up children to Abraham! It is Isa. 43.1. the arm of [Page 60]God; yea, and very sword too! God the Father's arm, God the Son's 1 Co 4.20. power, God the Eph 6.17. Spirits sword! Oh my God, Pre. 15.23. words spoken in season, how good are they? but when are thine out of season? When 1 Pe 2.2. we are babes, they are milk, Pro 16.24. sweet and nourishing! When grown, they are strong meat, making us go in thy wayes without weariness; yea, Psal. 19.5. run without fainting; when in bitterness of sin and sorrow, they are honey, plea­sant and purgative too! When in doubts, they are Counsellors! when fainting, Can 2.5. they are flagons of soul-reviving cordials, and apples of comfort! When quite dead, and the spirit gone, Jo. 6.6 [...]. the words which thou sayest, they are spirit, and they are life. Jam 1.18. We are begotten by thy holy word, psa. 119.93 as many as are born of God! We are fed by the same, and no better fed than taught nei­ther. O my God, there is not a Psa. 119 105. word in my tongue, but thou knowest it altogether. Oh would [Page 61]to Christ, there may not be a Psal. 139.4. word in thy Book, but I may know it altogether. Jam 1.5. Praised be thy holy Name, thou dost not say; If any man want wisdom, that then he shall strait be damn'd for a fool; but sayest, That then he should ask it of thee! Lord, I ask of thee that 2 Ti. 3.15. wisedom to salvation, which thy word alone is able to give me. I observe, That all worldly wise withour this, are Mat. 10.16. as harmless as serpents; as wise as doves without hearts: they are wise to do evil in the form of godliness, but to do good as good, they have Jer. 4.22. none; the least knowledge. What are all humane Authors, that I should take knowledge Psal. 144.3. of them? Or the most Learned, that I should make account of them? Isa. 55.8, 9. Their words are not as thy words; nor their no­tions as thy notions! As the hea­vens are high above the earth: so are thy words high above their words; & thy notions above theirs! Methinks of all the Books in my [Page 62]Studie, it is my Bible onely which can use the mighty Lords own words. Isa. 45.22. Look unto me, and be ye saved! All the ends of the earth, Pro. 8.18, 20, 21, 14. riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and honours lead in the way of righte­ousness, in the midst of the paths of Judgement. That I may cause those that love me to inherit substance, and I will fill their treasures! Coun­sel is mine, and sound wisedom; I am understanding, I have strength. Other Books, I confess, with their much Pro. 7.21. fair speech, do cause me to yield, with the flattering of their lips they force me: But when they draw me from thy Book, oh my Book, I find my going after them, is just a meer oxes going to the slaughter, and a fools to the corre­ction of the stocks. Other books Pro. 25.14. boast in Title pages, of false gifts, and are meer clouds, and wind without rain; but thine gives good and Jam 1.17. perfect gifts, coming down from the Father of lights. Pro. 23.35. They [Page 63]have stricken me with reproofs, and [...] was not sick; they have beaten me with inculked rebukes, and my conscience felt it not; but in thy word, the Mar. 26.75. Cocks crow so loud, that they will make one go out of [...]n, Luk 22, 62. and weep bitterly, that one can go out no further. The word Mal. 3.2. is a Refiners fire, and suffers some cleansing inside and out! Theirs maketh Scribes and Phari­sees, painted sepulchres, but no Joh. 1.49. true Israelites, in whom there is no guile; Isa. 5.12. the harp and the viol are in their feasts, the tabret and pipe of the excellency of mans wisedom, pleasing words, and tinkling cym­bals. But thy Book gives Can. 15.1. the myrrh with spice; the honey with the honey-comb; the wine with milk. Oh my God, thou hast made great Psal 136.8, 9. lights in thy word, the Sun, the Moon, the Stars, of pre­cepts, promises, and providences; else would this world be Joh 10.21, 22 a land of darkness, and the shadow of death: A land of darkness, as hells [Page 64]darkness it self, of the shadow of death, without any order, and where the light would be as dark­ness. Some deal with thy word, as Ru. 1.14, 16. Orpah with Naomi, go some part of the way with her, kiss her, and then leave her. But oh! may my soul (as Ruth's) cleave to it, and for ever say, Whither thou goest, I will go; where thou lodgest, I will lodge; thy wayes shall be my wayes, and thy God shall be my God. psal. 145.10, 11, 12, 14, 15. All thy works do praise thee, O Lord, and thy Saints do bless thee! they speak sweetly of the glory of thy Kingdom, and talk of thy power; but 'tis thy word makes known to the sons of men, thy mighty Acts of Creation and Redemption, and the glorious Majesty of thy King­dom! 'Tis thy word upholds all them that fall; and raises up those that be bowed down! Out of thy word thou givest the best meat to them, whose eyes wait upon thee. Thy gracious providences often make me cry out, psal. 136.1, 10, 15, 16, O give thanks [Page 65]to the Lord, for he is good! But 'tis thy Word onely makes me add, His mercy endureth for ever. For why? 'Tis by thy Word that thou smitest Aegyptian lusts in their first-born! and overthrowest reigning sins, and their hosts of snares and temptati­ons, in the Sea of thy grace, red with the Bloud Royal of thy Son! 'Tis by thy Word thou leadest thy people through the valley of sin ond sorrow, into the heavenly Ca­naan! 'Tis thy Word, that in the wilderness of this world, Psa. 105.41 opens very rocks that waters gush out! yea, Psal. 107.35 that turns my part of this wil­derness into a standing pool of mer­cies; and my dry ground into wa­ter springs.

O My soul! my soul! Pro. 2.6, 16. 'Tis in thy own conceit, That such a sluggard as thou, is wiser than se­ven men, that can render a reason. Dost think it enough, as Mat. 9.20. the woman with the bloody Flux, only to come behind Christ, and touch the hem of his garment? Hers was a Flux of Blood; thine of such sins, as made a Flux of Christs Blood! Her disease but of Twelve years, thine of almost twice twelve, for thou wast conceiv'd in it! Mat 9.21. As she said of Christ, darest thou say of Christian Religion; If I may but touch its garment, I shall be whole? If not, why standest thou idle? hath not God sent thee to hotter work. Mar. 6.8, 9, 7. Is this like a Disciple of Christ, to be projecting for scrip, bread, money in thy purse, and two coats? [Page 67]and not be caring for power of thy unclean spirit, and being shod with the sandals of the Gospel? Art thou my soul, the Bethlehem wherein Christ is born? or the Sodom where­in pride, idleness, and fulness of bread reigns? Pro 21.25. The desire of the slothful Christian to be saved, damns him, because his hands refuse to a­bound in the work of the Lord. Mat. 19.20. All these things have I kept from my youth up, was the word of an hypoorite, and very likely an A­postate! 'Tis another diligence 2 Pe 1.10. ensures Election, and secures from falling? Be not Jam 1.22. Jam. 1.21. deceiv'd, oh my soul, with vain words! It is the do­ing Christian onely, that undoes not himself! A mans own words are not (as God's) able to save his soul! Salvation must be Phil 2.12. work'd, not talk'd out! Examine thy self, prove thy self, oh my soul! for knowest thou not, that great industry is in thee, 2 Go 13.5. except thou beest a repro­bate! Not to do well, or Gal 6. to be weary of well doing, is a mani­fest [Page 68]token of God's being weary of thee, and thy being so of him! and every such Heb. 10.38. drawing back, final­ly persisted in, is to perdition! 'Tell not me there is a lion, or singularity in the way; a lion of censoriousness in the streets, I shall be bit! Thou must be so, but who can help it? If Christ Mal 10, 16, 25. will send forth his Dis­ciples in the midst of lions and wolves, 'tis so much the better for you, if you are bit soundly, you will be the more like your Master! Heb 10. The sacrifice of thy fame, the offering, the burnt-offering of it, on this account, is such as God will not despise! but has pleasure in: Men indeed, and of repute, for pi­ety, too many won't endure 2 Ti 4.3. sound doctrine! much less convin­cing conversation! But God will have us do more Mat 5.47. than others, either do, or allow us to do! Oh my soul, look right before thee, Were it not better that men should say to thee and thy graces, Why do ye more than others, by way of ac­cusation, [Page 69]than that Christ, when he comes, should say, What do ye more than others, by way of con­demnation. Christ, Mat 7.29. Read the four Evange­lists. thy Doctor, teaches not as the Scribes, but as one having authority, Don't thou live as the Scribes, but as one ha­ving activity! Christ thy Saviour did and suffered nothing, but mira­cles for thee, double miracles, to wit, because he did them, and be­cause he did them for thee! and wilt thou stick to do more than ordina­ry for him! Hear, oh my soul! not meerly Mat 9.13. the whole in sin, but the sick in grace, do need the physician! For Jesus came not onely that his souls should have life, but that they Joh. 10.10. should have it more abundant­ly! If thou art not purged to bring forth more fruit, 'tis dubious whether thou art yet ingrafted in him, Joh. 15.2. or bearest any! David con­fidently sayes, God's right See Psal. 63 8. hand upheld him! but when was that, not when he ran from God; no, nor when he sate still neither; no, [Page 70]nor when he followed God ordina­rily neither, but when his very soul followed hard after God. Solomon sayes, Pro 1.16. That the feet of some run to evil. 'Tis pity that good should be gone unto a slower pace; and know thou my soul, If hell be most­ly Psal. 119.32. Can. 1.4 Heb. 12.1. run unto, 'tis a shame but to go to heaven! and thou wast best look to it too; for I mistake, if there be any way to heaven, besides See 1 Cor. 9.24. the Race one! in which it self, be confident, every Runniug won't obtain! Beware of a false gallop. Methinks S. Peter makes 2 Pe 1.8. aboun­ding in grace, and daily addition, the onely security against substra­ction. St. Paul contends for 2 Co 8.7. a­bounding in every particular grace, I am sure one degree of abounding would not serve his turn neither; Abound 1 Th. 4.1. sayes he) more and more; nay, and he was for 1 Co 15.58. a­bounding alwayes too: Youth and old age, prosperity and adversity, &c. still abound. And really all but need, sith now I remember it, what [Page 71]ever a man hath, and abounds not in, goes for nothing with him who is to be our Judge. From him Mat. 25, 29. saith he) that hath not, shall be ta­ken away even that which he hath. If so, as 1 Ti 5.17. the Elders must la­bour, in the word and Doctrine, I protest thou and thy neighbours were best labour hard, in the word and practice of it. 'Tis true, they Re. 14.13. who do rest from their religious labours, have their works follow them; but if they don't follow them too, and cast them at the bar of God, far from that rest. Say not, oh my soul, the wind blows in thy face, set heavenward! 'Tis onely a Pro. 20.4. sluggard, that will not plow, by reason of the cold! He that ob­serves the wind (of any opposition) well he may scatter, he will never sow, in the whole seed-time of grace: and he that does but so much Eccl 11.4, Pro. 20.4, as regard the clouds, that drop down scuds of temporal in­conveniences, he may dream of rea­ping in the harvest of glory; but [Page 72]there he may be, and have nothing; no, not a drop it self to cool his tongue. I tell thee, oh my soul, hindrances of thy pious diligence, numberless thou maist make, not one canst thou find made to thy hand. Thou liest, when thou saiest, Pro. 22.13. There's a lion in the way with­out! The lion that will bite thee, I mean, for why? 1 Pet 5.8. Satan is a li­on, that if but resisted faithfully, will not bite thee at all, unless his flight, and leaving thee to sin alone, will bite thee! The lion, if any be, is in the den of thy brutish sluggish heart, whose lusts, indeed, are roar­ing lions, ever seeking what graci­ous motions they may devour! No man stands idle, but he who stands for idleness; and I may boldly say it (as of every wicked Agent, so) of every one wickedly inactive, (who Ro. 9.19. hath resisted his will? Even we poor potsheards, have Ro. 9.21. power over the dab of clay, call'd our selves, to make freely one acti­on unto the honour, and another to [Page 73]the dishonour of our Christian names! God gives us, would we but give our selves Phi 2.13. to will, and to do: We have his, could we get but our own good pleasure. Pro. 19.15. The deep sleep, in which we can't work, 'tis slothfulness casts us into that; the Pro. 15.19. nettles and thorns that make irksom our work, are also its product. Oh my soul, let not idle­ness Pro. 24.30, 31. hinge thee on thy bed, and give thy hand to thy bosome, Pro 26.14, 15. and then thou shalt find it no more grievous, to set thy hand to God's plow, than to put it to thy mouth, even with thy necessary food. Methinks the Authour of the Epistle to the See Heb. 6.12. Hebrews, makes Believers and slothful Professors no­thing a kin, his But is so adversa­tive; and I protest, 'tis enough to make thy betters in sacred industry shake again, to once Con Solomon's Observation. Slothfulness not one­ly confuses the materials of one that is going Ecc 10.18. to build, but it even decayes that which is ever so well [Page 74]built up already; Nay, and though it be built, ay, and possessed too; though it bea house, a furnish'd house, yet idleness will make it un­tenantable! My soul, my soul I though thou wert built up; ay, and Christ inhabited thee; thou must not lend, but give; not some, but all diligence to secure his House, and Hold.

OH pride, pride! Job 9.30, 31 If I mash my self with snow water, and make my hands never so clean, yet dost thou plunge me in the ditch, and make my own clothes to abhor me! Hos. 13.8. Thou meetest every gift and grace I have, as a Bear that is bereft of her whelps, and dost rent the very caul of their hearts. Ge. 49.7. Cursed be thy anger, for it is fierce; [Page 75]and thy wrath, for it is cruel! Thou hast smitten all God's friends on the cheek-bone, nor art thou Psa. 3.6, 7. afraid of ten thousand of Gods threat­nings, which have set themselves [...]ound thee! Who Job 41.2, 14 21, 26, 28, 29, 33. can put an hook into thy nose? or bore thy jaw through with a thorn? Who can open the doors of thy face? thy teeth are terrible round about? Thy breath kindles coals, and a flame goes out at thy mouth! The word of God, that layes at thee, cannot hold! the spear, the dart, for the Habergion! God's arrows make thee not fly, thou countest his darts as stubble! Upon earth here is not thy like, thou art made without fear. Psal. 55.21. Thy words are smoother than butter, but war is in thy heart! They are softer than [...]yl, yet are they drawn swords! Thy voice, oh pride, is Ge. 27.22. Jacob's voice, but thy hands are the hands of Esau. Job 13.7. If thou dost speak for God, 'tis wickedly! and if thou dost talk for him, 'tis deceitfully; as [Page 76] Job said of his friends. Psa. 45.8. All thy garments smell of myrrh, aloes and Cassia! but they are fearfully Jude 23. spotted by the flesh, if look'd into! Gifts, which are Job 1 14, 15 thy oxen, thou keepest ever plowing; lusts, which are thy asses, thou kee­pest feeding, till the righteous God send his Executioners of Justice, to take both, and slay them, with the sword of vengeance. [...] Ti 6.6. Thy god­liness is no gain, nor is it profitable to any thing 2 Ti 3.5. with its form, but to gnaw out the heart of the pow­er. Heb. 5.7. The strongest cries of thy prayers are but idle clamorousnes­ses, and stark sin; it's Psal 109.7. strength is just as its length, but for a Mat. 23.14. pretence! Mat. 21.13. Thy House of pray­ers is but a Den of thieves, lying in wait for the curse of being well spoken of by all men! Jam 2.18. Thou shewest thy faith by thy works! I'le say it is a faith of miracles, which Mat. 17.20. if one have of it no more than a grain of mustard seed, one shall throw away mountains of the [Page 77]convictions of God on ones soul. Heb. 11.33. 'Tis a faith that subdues King­domes indeed! For I call God to witness, it subdues the Kingdom of Christ Ro. 14.23. in the Gospel. Luk. 7.50. 'Tis a faith, that whatever is of it is sin: Tis a saving faith with the venge­ance; for I confess, it saves it self, though it 1 Ti 1.19. make Shipwrack of a good Conscience! 1 Jo 4.28. Thy love [...] Pride is so perfect, that it casts out all fear of the Lord! Exo. 20. and shewes kindness to thousands of those both men and things, which love thee, and keep thy Commands! But 'tis true, for Gods Statutes, which are thy Mat 5.44. enemies; thou canst not love them: and for Gods Attributes, which despitefully use thee, thou canst not pray for them. Thou dost indeed, oh Pride Col. 3.2. set thy Affections on those things which are above, and (to use thy own hearts dialect.) Psal. 113.6. thou dost humble thy self, to behold the things that are done in heaven! But, having said in thy heart, That Isa. 45.22. [Page 78]Thou art God, and there is non beside thee; 'tis the plainest thing of ten thousand, Psal. 53.3. that every of thy affections is gone back to thy self, they are altogether become filthy, there is none that doeth good, no not one. Psa. 57.4. Their poison is like the poison of a serpent, and they are deaf adders. Let God Job 2.11. but touch their bone or their flesh, they will curse him to his face. Ex. 1.12. And the more they shall be afflict­ed, the more they will grow. Let Religion ask them for water, they will Jud 5.25. 26, 27. give her milk, and butter promises in gay professions; but they will put their hands to the mail and their right hands to the devils hammer; with the hammer they will smite piety, and smite off its head; when they have pierced through its Temples! Job 10.14, 12, 13. They break down godliness with breach upon breach; and rush upon it as a Gyant, they take it by the neck, and shake it to pieces, and set it up for their mark. Oh pride, I do not wonder that God [Page 79]hates even the very Pro 6.17. look of thee! For I am sure, thou and all thy fathers house, do hate God with a Psal 139. perfect hatred, & count him your enemy! Thy natural lan­guage is, Eze 21.26, 27. Remove God's dia­dem, take off his Crown, overturn, overturn, overturn him! I have sworn by my self, that unto me eve­ry knee shall bow. Oh pride, pride! Jer. 13.27. I have seen thine Idolatries, thy Adulteries, and thy Neighings; the lewdness of thy spiritual whore­dom, and all thy abominations. Hab. 2.16. The cup of the Lords right hand be turn'd upon thee, and a shameful spewing be on all thy glory, in my heart and life! [...]. 3. 17, 18, 24. The Lord smite the crown of thy head with a scab, and discover thy seeret parts! The Lord take away the braverie of thy tinkling ornaments! In stead of thy sweet smells, let there be in my soul the stink of my own corruption! In stead of thy girdles, a being rent and broken in spirit! In stead of thy well set hair, baldness! In stead [Page 80]of thy stomachers, a girding of sackcloth, and burning by the Heb 11.34. fire of his spirit, In stead of thy beauty! How joyfully could I take the spoiling of rhy Goods! Have thy Mat. 5.29, 40. right eyes bor'd out, and thy right hands cut off! and not onely have thy cloak, but thy coat also took away! God fire out thy Lu. 9.58. Foxes out of their holes, and thy unclean birds out of their nests, that the Son of Man, and Saviour of men, may have where to lay his head, within my Eph. 3.17. heart! May thy Sun, thy Moon, and thy stars be darkned. Eccl 12.2, 3, 6, 1. May the keepers of thy House Tremble, and thy strong men bow themselves, may thy sil­ver cords be loosed, and thy golden bowls be broken; may evil dayes come on thee, and such wherein my Soul may say, I have no pleasure in thee. Job 4.9. By the blast of God, mayst thou perish, by the breath of his nosthrils maist thou be consum'd Rev 2.13. I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where Satans [Page 81]seat is, in the hearts and manners of men! I know thou 2 Pe 2.1. bringest in damnable Heresies, even denying the Lord that bought me! Thou Heb. 13.9. carriest men away with divers and strange doctrines; thou makest the morality of the earth, Jam 3.15. earth­ly, sensual, divelish. Cursed be the Luk 11.27. womb that bare thee, and the paps that gave thee suck. Psal. 137.9. Hap­py shall he be that taketh and dash­eth thy little ones against the stones! Job 20.9. May the eye of God, which hath seen thee in my heart & ways, never see thee more, nor those pla­ces know thee any more! Maiest thou, oh pride, Psal. 132.18. be clothed with shame; and upon all the graces of God, that are thy enemies, may the Crown flourish, so even so.

Psal. 130.6. My soul shall wait for the Lord, more than they that watch for the morning; I say, more than they that watch for the morning! Amen, Amen, Amen.

MY soul, my soul! It is said Eccl 6.7. All the labour of man is for his mouth. But who had thought, this could have been true of his religious labour? For really, though Josh. 1.8. the Law ought not to depart out of a man's mouth; so neither ought it to enter in, save Mat. 12.34. out of the hearts abundance. Eliphaz advises Job 22.22. Job, to lay up God's word in his heart, not his mouth: Pro 3.1. Prov. 4.23. and Solomon thought no cabinet so proper to keep divine Commands in, as it: Nay, God himself chuses the Tables of the heart, Jer. 31.33. for to write his Laws in; which makes me conclude, A man may keep his mouth and tongue richly, and yet never keep Pro. 21.23. his [Page 83]soul from troubles: and this, be­cause I know, whatever entreth in at the mouth, (if it find no place in the heart) it goes into Mat 15.18. the belly of hidden lusts, and is cast out into their draught. The things of God which proceed out of the mouth, when they proceed not forth out of the heart, they defile the man. So little a praise is it, to be a man of pure lips, if no more; and especially if that of the Isa. 29. wise man be true, to wit, that though Pro. 14.23. in all labour there be profit, yet lip labour has a direct tendency to povertie! Oh my soul! Pro. 11.9. Solomon tells thee, That the Hypocrite with his mouth destroy­eth his neighbour. I tell thee more, even that he destroys himself: for though he has Pro. 7.14, 9, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Peace offerings with him, and every day payes his vows; yet he goes forth, in the black and dark angels of his soul, to meet the Devil, diligently to find him, though he decks his bed with covering of religious Tape­stry, [Page 84]with carved works and fine li­nen of profession, though he per­fumes his bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinamon; yet he takes his fill of spiritual whoredom, and solaces himself with atheistical loves, while the good conscience is not at home, but is turn'd out of doors with a bag of money, not to come home till the day appointed, even that of Death and Judgement! If of any soul alive, this, oh my soul, is true of the hypocritical one, He feedeth on ashes, a deceiv'd heart hath turn'd him aside, that he cannot de­liver his soul, nor say, Isa. 44.20. Is there not a lye in my right hand. Pro 12.15. For the way of such a fool is right in his own eyes: And Christ himself does not deny, but he has his re­ward. Mat. 6.2. Mat. 6.4 Mat.6.7 Mat. 6.6 Mar. 6.31, 32, He does his alms to the devil in secret; and that father of his, who seeth him in secret, himself rewards him openly! Though when he prayes to God, he uses as vain re­petitions as the Heathens do; yet when he prayes to the devil, and [Page 85]wishes for devilish things, he keeps in the closet of privacy, and shuts all the doors, at which men may see in. He takes no thought, saving, What shall I do to eat Christ's flesh, or drink his blood, or cloath me with the garment of his Righteous­ness. (For after all these things do true Israelites seek) but he seeks first the titular Kingdom of God, and the professional Righteousness thereof, and thinks all these things shall be added. He takes no care for to morrow, but lets that care for it self! Sufficient he thinks, un­to the Day of Judgement, if to any day, is the evil thereof. His love, I can't say, is without dissimulation, but sure Mat 5.44. love he does his ene­mies, God's Lawes; bless he does them, though they curse him; and pray for God's promises, though they despightfully use him, and give him no one drop of comfort! He's even almostas perfect as his father, which is inHell, is perfect. This indeed, oh my soul! Mat 7.11, 9, 10, 9, 10. I observe; [Page 86]that being evil, the hypocrite knows how to give good gifts: and though when his friend asks of him for bread, what he gives him, in respect of himself, be no more than a stone, and he takes no more in it; yet to his friend 'tis good bread. Though the Truths he delivers, be to him­self serpents, that sometimes sting his soul, yet, as he delivers them, they are fish. What is 2 Co 4.2. handling the Word of God deceitfully, if this be not? to wit, Taking it Deu 30.14. very nigh one, even into ones mouth, and yet not so much as know it, any otherwise than God knows the proud, to wit, Psal 138.6. afar off; to be not a hearer onely, but a talker too, and yet not a Jam 1.22. doer of the Word; to do with it many wonderful works, by it to Mat 7.22. cast out devils, and nevertheless (as the Pharisees and Scribes) Mar 7.13. ma­king that of none effect to ones self. Oh my soul! for the love of God let not the Word of God Psa 119.103 be sweet to thy mouth, and not to thy [Page 87]tast! 1 Th 5, 26. Kiss it with no Judas-like but with a holy kiss. Mat 13.57. As 'tis said of a prophet, he is not without ho­nour, save in his own countrey: so may it be said of the Word, it is not without honour, save in its own proper Region, that of the heart. Deu 4.9. Oh keep thy heart and it, more dear than thy hearts blood, with all diligence; Psa 45.1. Let thy heart en­dite good matters of it. Pro 15.13. Pro. 15.15. A mer­ry heart makes a chearful counte­nance! Let thy hearts mirth in it, be that which sets thy chearful countenance on it! 'Tis a heart, a heart, a heart I tell thee, a merry heart with it, which hath a continu­al Feast for the Lord, and from the Lord. In the Word, God opens his heart; to the Word, open thy heart, even the hidden man of thy heart. Oh my soul, 1 pe 3.4. I charge thee before God, who has quickned thee, and before Jesus Christ, who never made or will endure rotten professions; that thou take not the oyl Psa. 104.15 of the Word, to make thy [Page 88]face to shine without the wine of the Word, to make thy very heart glad in the Lord. Jam 3.5. The tongue is a little member, don't think that God intended it for the Seat and Dwelling house of his great Law. Pro. 16.1. The answer of the tongue, is in­deed from the Lord, but when? When the preparations of the heart in man, be so to pro. 15.7. the tongue, is the dispenser, and should be the di­sperser of holy knowledge! But the heart, my soul, the heart 'tis, that has the good Mat 6.21. treasure; and as 'tis true, where the treasure is, there the heart will be: so really, where the heart is, there the Mat 12.35. treasure will be, good or bad. O my soul, better is a little in the heart, Pro. 15.16. with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure of God's word in thy mouth, and the trouble of thy tongue therewith. He, Heb 11.4. who be­ing dead, yet speaks of spiritual life, is infinitely far from that speech, which Ca. 411. Christ Jesus calls comely; and yet, if he were not, the wise [Page 89]man tells us, Excellent speech Pro. 17.7. becomes not a fool. O my soul, my soul! Take thou Mat 10.19. then no thought, how or what thou shalt speak of God, or his wayes, Mat 12.35. but out of the good treasure of thy heart. Let it ever be given unto thee, what thou shalt say. Mal. 2.6. Let the Law of Truth be in thy lips, Psal. 15.2. and speak the truth in thine heart. The way to be without of­fence, is to be sincere, and make clean the insides of the vessels, Phil 1.10. the Kingdom of God is not in word!

OH my God, my God! Job 19.23, 24. oh that thy words were now written in the Book of my heart! Oh that they were printed in my conscience! That they were engra­ven with an iron pen, and lead, in the rock of my heart for ever. But alas, Psal. 1.6. I am affraid of ten thou­sands of vile affections, which have beset themselves round about me; not onely to keep me from holy wis­dom, that Pro. 6.25. I lust not after her beauty in my heart, nor let her take me with her eye-lids; that I am not ravish'd with one Can 4.9. of her eyes, and one chain of her neck, Job 29.22. but to make me mock at her sear, and not be affrightned, nor turn back from her swords, to say, [Page 91]among her trumpets, Ha, ha; to scorn the thunder of her captains, and their shouting! Nay, and as if they themselves were not enough, they say to all temptations, Pro 1.11, 12, Pro. 1.17. Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for all the Laws of God that ever come here; Let us swallow them up alive, as the grave; and whole, as those that go down to the pit. O my God, are not all thy nets spread in vain, in the sight of such Birds, as my worldly affections: who say of heavenly-mindedness Ecc 2.2. that it is mad: and of self-denyal, what doth it? who taunt at my conscience, saying, Can 5.9. What is thy beloved more than another beloved? O my God! I confess it 'tis but just on me; Isa. 1.2. I have nourish'd and brought up these children of Belial, and now they rebel against me, domi­neering over my heart, (the womb that bare them, and the dugs that gave them suck,) so that Ro. 7.15. that which she allows not, she does: that [Page 92]which she would, she does not, and does what she hates. And verily, oh my God, these 1 Co 1.27. foolish things confound the wise within me: these weak, confound the things that are mighty! Eccl 4.1. I have considered all the oppressions that are done under the Sun; but, oh my God, I know none like those done by my vile af­fections, Isa. 3.15. which beat thy good Teachings to pieces, and grind the faces of my poor convictions, which fence up my way, that I cannot pass from them, and set darkness about all my paths, which make me ever and anon grumble. Psal 73.13. I have cleansed my heart in vain, and wash­ed my hands in innocency! to wit, while they say to my graces and comforts, Jer. 13.18. Humble your selves, sit down, for your principalities shall come down, even the crown of your glory! Oh my God, my God! 'tis through these that Jer. 12.2, 3. thou so often art near in my mouth, and far from my reins! but oh thou that knowest me, seest me, and try­est [Page 93]my reins; thou knowest that I pray thee, for the love of Christ, to pull them out like sheep for the slaughter, and prepare them for the day of slaughter. For alas! alas! Isa. 57.20. they are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt! the winds and the seas will obey me, assoon as they; and the worst of it is, Pro 29.12. That my Rulers, my judgement and conscience, do but too often hearken to their lies, and then all their servants, my will, memory, and all other powers are wicked; and so wicked, as that if any good seed get into me, Job 14.2. it comes up like a flower, and is cut down; it flees as a shadow, and continues not. My God, I fear at my yery heart, 2 C [...] 26.2 [...]. That (as Ʋzziah) I shall be a leper to my death, and dwell in a several house, sever'd from the near access to thee, and thy holiness, which my heart pants for! because really I am Job 2.6. in the hand of these devils, onely thou savest my life! [Page 94]of which it self I am wofully afraid, when many times Psa. 46.9. they make my very warfare with them to cease; they break my spiritual bows, and cut my spears in sunder, and burn the Chariots of God in the fire! Their cursed peace being Isa. 48, 18.19. all the whiles as a River, and their unrighteousness numerous and boisterous, as the waves of the sea! Their ungodly seed as the sand, and their off-spring as the gravel thereof. Oh my God, if whosoever Luk 14.11. exalts himself, shall be abased, sure I should hope these corrupt af­fections were to be brought down; for sure they exalt themselves above thy own Majesty. When I some­times query with them, methinks the sum of their answer is, what was said of old, These Isa. 48.5. and these things mine idol hath done, and my graven image, and my molten image hath commanded them; They are stedfast and unmoveable, alwayes abounding in the works of sin and vanity. They are Eph 6.10, 11, 17. strong in the [Page 95]Devil, and the power of his might, putting on his whole armour, that they may be able to stand against the very sword of the spirit, the Word of God. O my God, 2 Ti 3.16.17 I find they are notable for doctrine for reproof, for corrections, for in­struction in unrighteousness, that the child of disobedience may be perfect, throughly furnish'd unto all evil works: they subtly Tit 2.12, 13 teach to deny all spiritual Godliness and Grace, and to live indeed unsober­ly, unrighteously, and ungodly in this present world, looking for that hope which makes asham'd! They Jam 1.21. lay apart all spivituality, and godly sineerity, and receive with proud desperateness the devices of Satan, the least of which, is — enough to damn humane souls! To do evil, and to communicate it, they Heb 13.16. forget not; for with such sacrifices, the god of this world is well pleased: and indeed, the De­vil is not so Heb 6.10. unrighteous to them, as to forget their labour of [Page 96]love to him: No, he gives them day by day Mat 6. their daily bread, Pro 30.8. and feeds them with food con­venient for them, crying, Eze. 13.10, 13. Peace, peace, where there is either none, or but such, as thou, oh my God, wilt rent with a stormy wind, in thy fury, and consume with-an over-flowing showre in thine anger! and verily, as these vile affections Psal. 109.18. have cloath'd themselves with cur­sing, as a garment, so let it come in­to their bowels like water, and in­to their bones like oyl. Through them, oh my God, through them, oft have Jer. 12.7. I forsaken my house; ay, my tower, (for so is thy Name) I have left my heritage, for so is thy Word, and given Christ, the dearly beloved of my soul, into the hands of his enemies, I have! — Jer. 11.20. But, oh Lord of Hosts, that judgest righteously, that tryest the reins and the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them; for unto thee have I revealed my cause! Amen, oh Jesu, Amen, for thy Name sake. A­men, Amen.

O My God! my self has Mat 18.15, 16, 17. trespass'd against me; (and thee too!) I have gone, and told it its fault between it and me! It has not heard me, nor have I gain'd it! I have took with me two, nay three witnesses, the Three that bear record in heaven, and it has refus'd to hear them! What shall I do, but count it a heathen, and a Publican? I profess, were not Jesus a friend Mat 11.19. to publicans and sinners, all the manners Mat 12.31. of its sin and blasphe­my, could not be forgotten! Is not Job 22.5. its wickedness great, and its iniquities infinite? Oh my God, what soul Job 34.7, 8. is like it, it drinks up scorning like water, it goes in com­pany with the workers of iniquity, Psal. 1.1, 2. and walks with wicked lusts! It walks in the counsel of the un­godly, [Page 98]it stands in the way of sin­ners, it sits in the seat of the scorn­ful: its delight is great in the law of its members, and in that law doth it meditate day and night! Pro. 17.1. Better to it is a dry morsel of temporal loss, and dung, and carnal quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrifices to God, with stri­ving to be holy! It Ecc. 10.20. Mat. 9.20. curses the King of Heaven in its thought, and thy rich grace in its Bed chamber; and this issue of its mad blood, has been more than of Twelve years. Among them that are us'd by the Devil, to devour me, there hath not risen an agent greater than self; For, oh my God, thou knowest, from Ge. 1.1, 2, 3. the beginning wherein thou createdst the little of heaven within me, or from the very time wherein thou saidst, Let there be light, and there was light within me, thou knowest it has been this my self, which has made me with­out form, and (as it were) void: and has put darkness on the face of [Page 99]my soul, making it, as if the spirit of God had never mov'd on the face of it. O Lord, this self is Jud. the Sampson, which with its Asses jaws, has slain many thousands of thy spirits motions and convictions in me. It is the Herod which seeks the life; nay, it is the Judas which betrayes, and the Pontius Pilate which condemns, and the Jew which crucifies Christ within me: it is the Ex. 1.11, 24. Pharaoh which oppres­ses my graces with Task masters, and makes their lives bitter with hard bondage, in mortar, and in brick, and in all manner of vile ser­vice. Phil 3.19: The end of which, is destruction; the God of which, is the belly; the glory of which, is shame; the nature Jam. 3.15. earthly, sen­sual, devilish, foolish, disobedient, deceiv'd, serving divers lusts and pleasures, malicious, envious, Tit 3.3, 4. hateful, and hating the kindness and love of God our Saviour to­ward man. O God, this self, which Hos 12.1. so feeds on the wind, and fol­lows [Page 100]the East wind, increasing lies and desolations, what a Job. 10.22. land of darkness as darkness it self, does it make my heart; a place of the sha­dow of death, without any order, and where the light is as the dark­ness. Lord, if I know my heart at all, sure Job 42.6. I do abhor this self, and desire to repent in dust and ashes! Though all its pleas and arguments are Pro. 30.26, 27, 30. a feeble folk, yet make they their houses so, in the rocks of my heart, that I can't for my life get them out: though its lusts have no King reigning in my heart, (as I know of,) yet so they go forth all of them by bands, that l'le say it, I cannot dissipate them as I would: for, they are as a lion, the strongest among beasts, and which turns not away for any. O my God! Selfs Isa. 1.13, 14. vain oblations, and its incense, are an abomination to me! its ap­pointed feasts my soul hates, they are a trouble to me, I am weary to bear them! Pro. 23.3. I am not desirous of its dainties, I know they are most [Page 101]deceitful meat. But alas, I too oft eat its pro. 9.17. bread in secret places; and though I know, its wine is a mocker, and its strong drink is ra­ging, Pro 20 1. and whosoever is deceiv'd thereby, is not wise; yet (wo is me) Pro; 23.31, 32. when it is red, when it gives its colour in the cup, when it moveth it self aright, how do I forget, that at last 'twill bite like a serpent, and sting like an adder? Oh Lord my God! When shall I be able (as my Love did) to phil 2, 7, 8. make my self of no repute, and humble and empty my self? Oh that to morrows Ep. 4.26. Sun might go down upon my wrath against self! for, of a truth, in selfishness dwells all the fulness of Antichrist, and that bodily; and 'tis compleat in it, which is Col 2.9. the head of the De­vil's principality and power! 1 Th 2.3. Its exhortation is of deceit, unclea­ness, and guile. Its lust opposes and 2 Th 2, 3. exaltsit self, above all that is called God, or is worshipped, that it may sit in the Temple of God, [Page 102]shewing it self, that it is God. Its rise and progress is after the work­ing of Satan, with all power, and signes, and lying wonders. Oh my God, if 1 Ti 1.51. Christ came not into the world to save selfishsinners (of whom I am chief,) 1 Co 15.17. my faith is vain; and as I live in, I shall dye in my sins. But through him strength­ning me, I hope I shall (as Paul Acts 28.5. spake of this viper, though it fasten about me, I hope I shall both pluck out my selfish Mat [...]5.29, 30 eye, and cast it from me too: chop off my selfish hands, and cast them from me also; yea, and throw out my selfish holi­ness it self, unto the dogs. I hope to see the Job 31.22. ar mof all self, fall from its shoulder-blade, and broken from the bone; broken in pieces psal 89 10. as Rahab; and serv'd as the Midianites, as Sisera; as Jabin, at the brook of Kison. If not, piety must say within me, Jer. 10.20. my Tabernacles are spoil'd my cords are broken: there is none to stretch forth my Tent any more, and to set up my curtains! and, [Page 103]wo is me, I must say to the power of godliness (if any live in me) 2 Ki 20.1. set thy house in order, for thou shalt dye, and not live; for sure I am, selfishness wipes out spirituality of obedience, as a man 2 Ki 21.13. wipes out a dish, wiping it, and turning it up­side down: Nebuchadneuzar like, it makes a decree, that every power of the powers of the soul, that shall Dan 3.5, 6. hear the sound of its cornets, flutes, and harps, shall fall down, and worship the golden images that it sets up; and if any grace with­stand, it must be cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace of rage and malice! (like the woman in the Revelation) it is Rev 18.21. array'd in purple, and scarlet-colour'd pre­tences, deckt with gold, precious stone, and pearl, in its professions, and hath in its hand a golden cup, like a sacred chalice; but it is full of abominations and filthiness of its fornications: upon its forehead should be wrote, Mystery, Babylon, the great, the mother of harlots, [Page 104]and abominations of the heart and life! wherefore thou, oh my God, send thou the Angel of the Cove­nant, Rev 18.21. the mighty Angel indeed; and by his holy spirit, let him take up thy word, like a great milstone, and cast this Babylon into the sea, and let it be found no more at all in my soul, or any of its wayes! As Exo 15, 4, 5. Pharaoh's chariots, and his host, were cast into the sea, and his cho­sen captains drown'd in the red sea; so let the deeps cover my selfishness, and all its Aegyptian crew, let them sink into the bottom, as a stone! Amen, my God, Amen.

OH my soul, my soul! Pro. 24.24, 25. He that saith to the wicked, thou art righteous, him shall the people curse! Shall nations abhor him? I prethee, He that saith to his wicked self, Thou art righteous, shall not God curse him too? shall not Saints also abhor him? Psal. 39.1. Take heed then to thy wayes, that thou sin not with thy tongue! Keep the mouth of thy very heart also, with a bridle, while thy wicked lusts are before thee. Job 12.6. The tabernacles of them who rob, and take from Gods promises their comforts which they give them not, do prosper for a while; but the wealth of evidences for heaven, Pro 13.11. got by vanity, will be diminish'd; when they that ga­ther [Page 106]them by laborious consulting the conditions of Gospel promises, shall increase. The devil's beasts do not know Isa. 1.3. their Owner; nor his Asses their Master's crib. Without are dogs, which neither ken their being dogs, but dream themselves God's children; nor believe them­selves without divine favour, but conceit them wrapt up in the bow­els of it. Thousands, I am out of doubt, thousands of Christ's Mat 25.33, 37, 44. sheep, think they are goats; but thousands of thousands among Sa­tan's goats, think they are sheep! Many, in whom Christ is, think 2 Co 13.5. they are Reprobates; but more, who are Reprobates, think that Christ is in them! Oh my soul! my soul! If I my self, Gal. 1.8. or an angel from heaven, do preach to thee any other Gospel, or salvation on any other Terms, than what are delive­red in Christ's own, hold it accursed; He that doth Joh [...] 21. the truth, cometh to that light, e're his deeds can be made manifest, that they are of God. [Page 107] pro. 18.17. It being first in thy own cause, thou shouldst seem just, God, thy very near Neighbour, will be sure come search thee out. He leads cor­rupt Job 12.17. self-counsellers away spoil'd, and makes partial Judges of themselves, fools: and believe me, the Mat. 24.35. heaven of presumptions ma­king, shall pass away, but his works will not pass away. pro. 20.6. Most men, and especially the worst, will pro­claim every one his own righteous­ness; but, a faithful friend to God, who canfind for all that? My soul, I am sure thou hast those within thee, which Isa. 30.10. say to thy Seers, see not: and to the Prophets, pro­phesie not right things, speak unto us smooth things; but for the love of Christ, don't let them make Isa. 28.15. thee make lyes thy refuge, and un­dersalshood hide thy self. God has written to thee excellent things in counsel and in knowledge, pro. 22.20, 21. that he might make thee not guess, but know, not the probability, but cer­tainty of the words of Truth. [Page 108] Pro. 3.5, 6. Lean thou not then to thy own understanding, but in all thy wayes acknowledge them. Job 38.2, 3. Don't darken counsel by words without knowledge. Gird up now thy loins, for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me! Hath thine eye seen God, Job 42.6, 7. so as that thou abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes? Are all thy springs in God? and Psal 121.1, 2 dost thou lift up thy eyes to no o­ther hills, for thy salvation? Dost find, that 'tis indeed his Psal. 104.28, 29. open­ing his hand, that fills thee with good; and 'tis his hiding his face that troubles thee? Art thou sure of this? Dost verily believe Psal. 84.11. that God is the Sun, who gives thee all thy light, without any efficiency of thy lower Moon and Stars? and that he is the onely shield in life and death? Is he in good earnest thy love, Isal 119.16. delight, desire, and joy, and hope? Hast thou said (as he sayes) to all other gods, Ye shall die? Is Psal. 97.10. he Lord of lords, God of hosts, I am that I am, wonder­ful, [Page 109]Counsellor and mighty God, See the whole Law & Gospel. Holy, Faithful, and True, in thy in­most reins? Is his Son God-man, crucified under his Fathers wrath, satisfactoriously, meritoriously, and victoriously dying, rising, triumph­ing, and interceding at his Fathers right hand, thy life, light, bread, raiment, ark, City of Refuge, Priest, Prophet, King? Is God the Joh. 14.18. ho­ly Spirit, thy Enlightner, Quickner, Convincer, Converter, Comforter? Is thy being shapen in sin, and con­ceived in Psal 51.3, 5. iniquity, ever before thee? Dost. set thy secret sins be­fore thee, thy Psal 90.8. hidden ones in the light of thy countenance? Dost smell them stink, ready to choak thee, bowing thee, ready to break thee, and killing thee all the day long? Tell me, is the Law the de­light of thy eyes, and dost keep it in them? Dost make it a light to they feet, as well as thy brains? Canst say without lying, thou hast not a 2 Co 1.9. comfort in all the world, but it springs from one or other of the [Page 110]Lord's promises? Does his threat­ning Isa. ult. 2, 3. word make thee tremble? Dost live by sense as a horse; by carnal reason, as a man; or by faith as a Christian? Has thy faith any Acts 26.18. eyes, do they see God, heaven, helf, death, and Judgment, every day, every duty, every time, of serious­ness; and that as real, certain, indi­sputable things? Jer. 6.10. Has thy faith any ears, can it and does it hear the voice Job 35.10. of God, in his Word and providential works, that which na­tural men do no more hear, than stocks and stones? Don't thy na­tural Eze 12.2. ears hear the Minister speak a great deal, while thy spiri­tual ears don't hear God speaking one word of it? Don't lye, but tell me, Hast ears for God's mouth, as thou hast for men? Has thy faith Psal 135. a nose, one that smells myrrh, aloes, cinnamon in every Truth, and every good notion, practice, and person, together with fire and brim­stone in every sin, though sweetned with profit, pleasure, honour, love [Page 111]of Kings themselves? What man­ner Psal 34 8. of Tast has thy faith? Does secret converse with God, in bed, at board, on horseback, in closet, &c. Does converse with thy self, and Christ's members (as such)? Do duties of all kinds, such as most ex­clude thy own carnal ease, and mens carnal peace and fayour? Do these tast indeed, and in good ear­nest, so well Psal 119.103. as honey to thy 1 Pe 2.3. palat? Do they affect thee with so palpable a pleasure and sweet­ness? And lastly, for God's sake tell me, what feeling is thy faith of? Can't it let thee go without its robes about thee, but strait feel the sterming wind of God's wrath, and scorching Sun shine of his fury? and that as plain, as thy naked body would feel a December frost, or March wind, on a hill? Is God thy All, art thou all Gods, and that in secret sober sadness? Canst vow and protest to Father, Son, and Spi­rir, that thy heart labours after, and can't, and won't be satisfied with­out 2 Co 13 14. [Page 112]the grace of the Lord Je­sus Christ, the Love of God the Father, and the communion of God the Spirit? If so, Go in peace, and the God of peace be with thee. Amen, Lord Jesus, Amen, Amen.

OH World, World! Joh. 8.48. Say I not well, that thou art a Sa­maritan, and hast a devil? Nay ra­ther, is not thy name Mar 5 9. legion, and art thou not many Abaddons, and Apollyons? I am sure thou hast oft caught Saints themselves, and they have been Luk 8. 29, 33. bound with thy chains and fetters, breaking God's holy bonds. And as for unregene­rate Swine, into whom thou entrest, and art not soon dispossess't, thou hurriest them down into the lake, where they are cloathed with fire [Page 113]and brimstone! The Devil had less specious Ge 3. apples of old, to de­lude eye with, than thy apples of gold in pictures of silver be. If that serpent did not eat and feed men with thy dust, we might triumph over him; oh Serpent, where is thy sting? Joh 8.44. oh Devil, where is thy victory? He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the Truth; and wast not thou a like apostate, of whom God said, Thou wast very good, and by and by Ge. 1.31. Gen. 3.17. cursed thee! that once barest good fruit for the use of man's body, now nothing but thorns and thi­stles, at least husks, for soul and bo­dy? I'le say't, Jud 6. Thou kept'st not thy first estate, but art now reser­ved to the jud gement of the great Day! And I'le vow my judgement is, that if I don't in the mean time drownthee in the Rev 12.15. flood of my penitential tears, and burn thee out of my soul with the fire of my love and zeal, for a better world, the flood cast out of thy mouth will [Page 114]swallow me up, and I shall find the God of this world a consuming fire! For if any Devil Heb 2.15. has the power of death, I dare say 'tis the world, to whose Eph 6.12. principalities and pow­ers, mankind so conforms its life! 'Tis the world makes every Luk 22.3, 5. Ju­das in it, and we betray not Christ to our lusts, till that enter into us, and covenant with us: Nor keep we back any thing from him, till this Act 5.30. Satan fills our hearts, to oppose the Holy Ghost! Thou, oh world, art the Satan that standest ever at our right hands, to resist us! and I vow, I think 2 Ch 10.10. thy little finger thicker, than the loins of all the Devils in hell. If the Saints must judge 1 Co 6.2. the world, and the things of the world, I doubt not but they will judge them the worst enemies, next to lusts after them. If they resist the Devil, he will fly from them; but the earth abideth for ever a Tempter, and its Herods which seek the life of Christ with­in us, will never be dead. We may [Page 115]chuse, whether we will give any place to the Devil, or no; but the world must have our backs, on which it makes (but too often) very long furrows: and our bellies, in which it leaves its Idol-gods. Of all its clothes, how few there be that won't be found naked, and un­covered with Christ's Garments. I cannot think without horrour, and surely did it poyson as many bellies as souls, it would have few to feed. Oh world, world! Mise­rable are thy men, and miserable the servants, 2 Ch 9.7. which stand conti­nually before thee, and hear thy wisedom, though with that plea­sure, of which the world is not worthy. I assure Ecc. 1.8. thee, my eye is satisfied with seeing thee; and my ear with hearing thee! The Devil brags of thy Mat 4.9. All these things; but God calls thy things, things which are not: and if that damn'd Ghost did not think my soul worth a thousand of thee, he would scarce be so busie with me, to give my [Page 116]soul in exchange for thee. I know by my experience, Jer. 2.13. thy cisterns are broken, and can hold no water. My comforts in eating and drink­ing, do tell thy bread and wine, as See 2 Gen. 45. Mat. 7.10. Joseph his Brethren, It was not you, but God, that sent me hither. My God knows. I pity as many as gather their grapes from thy thorns; and hold them children, who take their figs from thy thistles. Thy Mar 11.20. fig trees are cursed, and dryed up from the roots. Till Christ's bles­sing return, they are the roots of all evil. I confess thou hast Luk 12.19. much goods laid up for many years; but hang thee and them too, thou hast none for eternity. Job 14.11. As waters fail from the sea, and the flood dryes up: so thy Goods lye down, and rife no more. As oft as I have Psal. 37.25. seen the righteous forsaken by thee, I never saw them so more bru­tish, than Psal 104.21. the beasts of the wilderness, as to beg bread from thee. A man may possess all thy things, and yet not so much as have [Page 117]any thing to 2 Co 6.10. possess. One blessing of God's makes rich. Ten thousand of thine can't so do! For thee and thy followers are reserv'd to the Day of Destruction; and in the in­terim, even that which is wanting, cannot be numbred; and that which is, is besides vexation, no more than vanity. Oh world, world! I pro­test 'tis Jesus that must feed me with food convenient for me, and cloath me too; thy daily bread without his will starve me. Mat 13.44, 46, 52. If the Kingdom of heaven be trea­sure, thou art a dunghill: If a pearl, thou a cherry-stone. Go, get thee and offer thy accursed things to thy Achans; money, and change of rai­ment to Gehezies; fat cattel to thy Sauls; thy Dalilah's to thy Sampsons; preferments to thy Balaams; and thy preheminence to thy Diotre­phes! Lay thy suares in Mizpah, and spread nets in Tabor; use thy laws and menaces, thou shalt make no Demas of me. I have seen thee smite the Body of Religion with [Page 118] Job 2.7. sore boils, from the sole of its feet to thy crown! I have seen thee shaving many poor Christians, till their spiritual strength has gone from them, and they have Jud. 16, 17. be­come weak, and been like other men! When I my self have oft been going about my God's service. Oh world, world! how hast thou Nu. 22.22, 24. (as the Angel to Balaam) stood as an adversary in my way, against me? and made as it were a wall on this side, and a wall on that! Jud. 14.9. How rarely have I found honey in thy carcases? How often venom in thy sweets? God Job 35.10. deliver me from the songs that thou givest in the heighth. Better is a Dinner of herbs, where the love of my God is, than all thy stalled oxen, and thy love therewith! Pro. 15.17. Thy goodness is as a morning dew, and as an early cloud, it passes away: but of thy temptations, one generation passes, and another still comes! Thy men are every one a Jannes and Jam­bres: Thy things are all Sampson's [Page 119]Foxes, with Firebrands to destroy piety.

Yet will I be just, oh world! Fle give the Devil his due, I do acknowledge it is my sin that has made thee thus thy enemy! it is my own fault I am hurt by thee; and therefore say I now well to my own heart, my polluted heart, Thou art a Samarita, and hast a Devil.

OH my God, my God! I read in thy word that he is Psal 41.1, 2, 3. blessed, who considereth the poor, that thou wilt deliver him in time of trouble: That thou wilt pre­serve him, and keep him alive, and make him blessed on earth! That [Page 120]thou wilt not deliver him over into the hand of his enemies: That thou wilt strengthen him on the bed of languishing, and make his bed in his sickness! Oh my God, how oft has my faith considered all my poor distressed comforts and hopes? How oft has the blessing of them, when they have been ready to perish, come on my faith? Now therefore, oh my God! Deliver my faith in time of trouble, preserve it and keep it alive; bless it, and de­liver it not over to the hands of its enemies! Strengthen it on the bed of its languishment, and make all its bed, on thy promises, in its sick­ness! As with a sword in its bones, my lusts do reproach it, while they daily say to it, Psal 42.10. Where is now thy God? peace and joy, its Psal 38.11, 12. lovers and friends stand aloof from its sore; and hope and trust, its ve­ry kinsmen, stand afar off. They that seek after its life, lay snares for it; and they that seek its hurt, speak mischievous things, and ima­gine [Page 121]deceits all the day long! Oh my God, its Isa. 1.5. whole head is sick, its whole heart is faint, Pro. 24.11. it faints in the day of prosperity, its strength is so small. It is not with it, as in the dayes of its Job 4, 5, 6, 19. first Love, when the Secret of God was upon its Tabernacle; when the Al­mighty was yet with it, and its children (of Repentance, Zeal, and Heavenly mindedness, &c.) were about it! When it wash'd its steps with butter, and every rock it self pour'd it out rivers of oyl! when its root was spread out by the waters of Divine Love, and the dew lay all night on its branches! Now Jer. 15.9. she that hath born seven languishes, she has given up the ghost, her Sun is gone down, while 'tis yet day. My faith, oh my God, now Isa. 59.10. gropes for the wall, like the blind; gropes as if it had no eyes, stumbles at noon day, as in the night! My hope layes its 1 Ki. 23.30. carcase in its own grave, & mourns over him, saying, Alas my brother! [Page 122]Oh my God, what shall I do! All my graces seem to have said to thee as Exo 10.29. Moses to Pharaoh, We will see thy face no more. All their Gen 48.10. eyes are as Israels, dim, they can­not see: their ears are shortened, that they cannot hear thee: and their arms, that they cannot lay hold on thine. Their leanness ri­sing up in them, bears witness a­gainst them. Job 17.18. Their breath is corrupt, their dayes are extinct, the graves are ready to them. If their Off-spring of Duties be multiplied, oh my God, Job 27.14. it is for the sword of my vile corruptions; Jer. 15.3. to their sword, to slay: to their dogs, to tear: to their fowls and beasts, to devour and destroy. Those very duties, that e're while were Lam 4.5. brought up in scarlet, in the very blood of Jesus, how do they em­brace even dunghills of rotten, stinking Formality, &c. the skin of which being broken, becomes loathsom. Job 7.5. The hand of faith has offended my lusts, Mat. 18.8, 9. and they [Page 123]have cut it off! The eye of faith has offended them, and they have pluck'd it out! My hope has offen­ded them, and they have made it ashamed! They have tied milstones about the necks of all my souls graces, and thrown them into the depths of Distrust! But oh my God, my God! though the Gen 49.23, 24. Ar­chers have sorely grieved them, and shot at them, wilt thou yet return their bow to its strength, and shall the arms of their hands be made strong, by the hands of the Mighty God of Jacob? From whom is the shepherd and stone of Israel. Hos. 13.9, 14. Though they have destroyed them­selves, in Thee is their help! Ran­som thou them from the power of the grave, and redeem them from death! Say to their death, that thou wilt be its plagues; and to their graves, that thou wilt be their destruction! So shall the very dead praise thee, and those that have gone down to the pit, remember thy Name! Nor shall my lusts, my Eccl 9.4. [Page 124]living dogs, be better than my graces, though dead Lions I Re­deem, oh my God, Psal 103.4. Redeem their life from Destruction! And, for Christ's love, Psal 66.9. hold thou their souls (as well as mine) in life! Without thee, oh Jesus, my life, my food, my raiment, my All; with­out thee, what is the life of my grace? it is even a Jam 4.14. vapour that appears, and but appears for a time, and but a little time, and va­nishes away: Job 24.22. No man is sure of their life; no, though Job 2.4. all that a man hath he would give for their life! But, oh by thee, in whom my graces life is hid, may it Luk 21.28. lift up its head, and may its salvation draw nigh! The winds and seas obey thee, make thou the Rev 20.13. sea of my corruptions to give up its dead! So shall my love for thee be stronger than death, and my jealousie Can 8.7, 8. for thy glory, be cruel to them, as the grave; the coals thereof shall be coals of fire, which have a most vehement flame. [Page 125]No waters shall quench, or floods drown it, though the devil would give all the substance of this great house of the world for it, it should utterly be contemned.

OH my soul, my soul! Thy thoughts are thy Gen 49.3, 4. Reubens, thy first-born, thy might, the be­ginning of thy strength, the excel­lency and power, if good: but if unstable as water, thou canst not excel. Paul sayes, That 1 Co 13.11. when he was a child, he thought as a child: when a man, he thought as a man. But verily, when I was a child, I thought as a beast; when a man, I thought as a child. The mighty God Psal 139.2. understands thy thoughts afar off. Oh that thou wouldst understand them better, [Page 126]far and near! For solemnly I tell thee, that though Heb 4.13. all things are naked and open before the God, with whom I have to do, yet are they secret sins which he is said to set before him, and hidden ones that he puts in the Psa 9.7. light of his coun­tenance! Though he be justly cal­led Heb 12.23. Judge of all, yet particu­larly and chiefly he is said, Coming to judge Ro. 2.16. the secrets of men! Of every idle word, an account must be given; but Mat 12.36, 37. of every idle thought, which produces milli­ons of them, what account can be given? If (in my sense) I was to be justified by my words, I should scarce hope well! But alas, if a man offend not Jam. 3.2, 6, 8. in word, yet if he does in thought, he is no perfect man. Add hereto, that the tongue is no such fire, no such world of iniquity, no such untamable and un­ruly member; but the heart is by thousands, and by ten thousands, worse! Ecc 10.14. Fools indeed cannot rule their words, but the wisest [Page 127]cannot rule their thoughts. David protests he hated vain thoughts, but never once boasts of a conquest over them. Besides, what are our words? They are even a vapour which appear for a little while, and vanish away! Evil thoughts are a sin that dwelleth in us, and tell me, oh my soul, oh tell me, Jer. 4.14. how long shall they lodge within thee They have lodged in thee so long already, that they have begot a hundred monsters, opinionative, af­fectional, and practical. I protest in God's presence, to thy face, Ecc 4.1. I have considered many of the op­pressions that are done under the Sun; and like to that of thine own, by evil thoughts, I know not any. My God alone does know, what I would give, to have my thoughts taught Tit 2.5. young womens duty, to be discreet, chast, and kee­pers at home; good, obedient to the dictates of my own conscience, that the word of God might not be blasphemed: to be sober, grave, [Page 128]temperate, sound in faith, in chari­ty, and patience: to be in behavi­our as becometh holiness. But alas, alas! Job 2.2. their feet abide not in their home; like the devil, they are mostly going to and fro in earth: they are very Gen 49.21. Pro. 22 6. Naphtali's, Hinds let loose, and they love to wander. Let me train them, ever so much, in the way wherein they should go; Psal 90.9. Mark 14.20. yet instantly they will depart from it. If any good be thrown in upon them, yet it passes away like a Tale that is told! but rarely falls a seed of evil, but it takes root, and bears, some thirty, some sixty, some a hundred fold. As for all foregoing good inclinations, and purposes, they make them as grass upon Psal 129.6. Hos. 4.11. Rom. 11.8. the house tops, which wi­thers before it grows up. In a word, there is much of whoredom, and wine, and new wine in them, which utterly take away the heart, and in­fuse a spirit of flumber: The form of Godliness, they sometimes feed, even Luk 15.22, 23. with the fatted calf, and [Page 129]cloath with the best robe, putting rings on its fingers, and tinkling or­naments about its feet too. But for the power of Godliness, they serve it, as Samuel did Agar, they hew it in pieces. As for the object of De­votion, the Holy God, ah my soul, my soul! How abominates he vain thoughts, he removes his way far from them, he Pro. 5.8. Pro. 4.15. See Pro 6.16, 17, 18 will not come nigh the door of their house; he, be sure of it, avoids their mansions, passes not by it, turns from it, and passes away. Every vain thought is a virtual Gergesen, beseeching Christ to get him gone out of the region of the heart; and ordinarily, a few serve to send him going. As for the heart it self (the subject of De­votion) vain thoughts, take the Kingdom of Grace out of it, and very reason too, in a great measure, they drive it from Saints, yea, from men: They make its dwelling with Dan 4.31, 32. Hos. 12, 1. beasts of the field, they make it to eat the grass with carnal oxen; with Ephraim to feed on the wind, [Page 130]and follow after the Eastwind; yea, they sometimes turn the children Mat 3.9. of Abraham into stones, obdu­rate and insensible. As for acts of Devotion, Hos. 13.3. Prayer, Meditati­on, &c. Vain thoughts make them, First, to be as the morning cloud, and as the early dew; as the chaff driven with the whirl-wind, out of the floor; and as the smoke out of the chimney, which leave no sign behind them. And Secondly, to be meer Jud. 12, 13. clouds without water; trees whose fruit wither, without fruit, twice dead, pluck'd up by the roots: raging waves of a sea of hypocrisie, foming out the souls shame: they make them grievous to us, and odious to God. As for the means of Devotion, holy Me­ditation alone, holy conference with Christians, holy use of God's Word, and good Books. Oh my soul, sadly dost thou know, how vain thoughts make one Rev 3.16. spue them out of ones mouth, or at least tast no more in them, than in the [Page 131]white of eggs. Thou knowest, vain thoughts make the heart (like the Leviathans) firm as a stone; yea, hard as a piece of the nether mil­stone; and then let God's Books, or his Saints, or both say to us (as Job to his friends) Job 27.11. I will teach you by the hand of God, that which is with the Almighty, will I not conceal; Yet they will be ut­terly contemn'd, and be to us Phy­sicians of no value. As for the Op­posites and Contraries of Devotion, Pride, earthlymindedness, Atheism it self; vain thoughts are those, which took them out of the Psal 22.9, 10. Psal. 25 13. womb; upon vain thoughts they were cast from the very breasts; and vain thoughts were their Gods, e­ven from the belly. Vain thoughts make them to dwell at ease, and to lift up their heads above the heads of Humility, Heavenlymindedness, and practical piety. All things me­thinks, of every sort, sayes to vain thoughts, You are our Psal. 142.5. refuge, and our hiding-place: You are the [Page 132]hills, whence cometh our help? They will not in truth, my soul! they will Psal 3.5. Hos. 13.8. not be affraid of ten thousands of Sermons, which set themselves against them: They will lye down, and sleep, and awake, while vain thoughts sustain them, Sermons, Conferences, &c. would meet every of thy sins, and rent the caul of their hearts. They would make their strong holds like Nah 3.12. fig-trees, with the first ripe figs; if they were but shaken, they would fall. Were it not, that Psal 125.2. as the mountains stand round about Jeru­salem: so vain thoughts stand so a­bout my corruptions, that the means of Grace can't have full reach of them. Would my God but cast down my 2 Co 10.5. Rev. 18 2. Psal. 10.4. imaginations, and bring my thoughts into captivity, and the obedience of Jesus, then should my heart be no longer the habitation of Devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird! But hear, oh my soul, if God be [Page 133]in all thy thoughts, vanity and sin will be in all thy best words and deeds! For the love of Christ, go cry to thy God, and say, Pro, 6.2. Thou art snar'd with the thoughts of thy heart! Beg him for Christ's sake, that their root may be dryed up, and they may bear no more fruit; yea, though they should bring forth, Hos. 9.16. that he would stay even the beloved fruit of their womb, and dash their little ones against the stones. Now consider this, oh ye the poor beginnings of grace and comfort within me, least vain thoughts Psal 50.22. tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver you.

Gen 15.5. LOok now toward Heaven, oh my soul, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them! Lift up thine eyes, Gen 13.14, 16. look abroad from the place where thou art, Northward, and Southward; Eastward, and Westward. if thou canst tell the stars, and count the dust of the earth, then may thy Job 6.25. Mar. 7.18. words also be numbred; words, of which there's not one, but is very forcible, whether right or no: for though (but too oft) thou ma­kest the words of God of none ef­fect in one sense, God will never make thine of none effect in ano­ther, but will by them, Mat 12.37. or ju­stifie, or condemn thee. Jam 3.10. Out of every of thy so many words, a blessing or curse is sure to proceed; [Page 135]and wo be to thee, if God make thee an offender, for a word unre­pented of. For as every unsanctifi­ed tongue, so every vain word thereof, is it self a world of ini­quity; yea, behold 'tis Psal. 51.5. sha­pen in iniquity, and in sin doth the heart conceive it. 'Tis by nature a Eph 2.3. child of wrath, even as other works of disobedience; 'tis of its Joh 8.44. Joh. 8.48. Luke 10.17. father the Devil, and the works of its father it will do, damn it self, and its corrupted hearers. Say I not well to every of thy idle words then, Thou art a Samaritan, and hast a devil? Devils, without all peradventure, they are; and oh would God, thou couldst now go, say, Lord, these devils are subject to me in thy Name. If 1 Joh 3.8. such as commit sin, be of the devil, I am certain they are his genuine seed and issue; for why, Ro. 3.23. sin dwel­leth in them, and they are carnal, sold under sin, they lay on thee weights, and make actual sins easily beset thee. Yea farther, oh my [Page 136]soul, thy idle words have not only sinned all of them, and come short of the Ro. 7.13, 14. glory of God; but they have made many to be sinful through them, who else had not known the sins imparted to them. In a word, idle words (the plague of their plagues is,) they become 1 Jo 2.2. propitiations for sin, and not for ones own onely, but the whole companies. God's (word is indeed the Psal 119.105. Read Isa. [...].8. Phil. 2.16. light to our feet, and the (due) lanthorn to our paths! But the very truth is, there's (a kind of ignis fatuus) a false light, sparkling out of ones own words, which generally does lead our feet, and chalk out our paths. Nor have evil communications a little influ­ence on like manners: every word of ours, is ordinarily a word of life, in a sense, God rarely holding our hearts, when once Psal. 12.4. Psal. 2. our lips are our own, and our hands ever break­ing his bonds asunder, and casting his cords behind us, assoon as his Josh 1.8. Law is departed out of our [Page 137]mouths. Nor yet, oh my soul, mayest thou think, that thy tongue or thy words are sufficient lodgings for Divine Love, they are but for walks, to move and appear in. Thy honour to God, though it be but barren, without the fruit, and the calves of thy lips, yet these oblati­ons are odious to the very soul of God, when they are not offered from out the very soul of man. Though stinking breath argues rot­ten lungs, and I am out of doubt, thou art most impure, if thy speech be not seasoned with salt; yet this I utterly set at naught, unless thou have Col 4.6. Mat. 9 5 salt in thy self also. The cleaner thou sweepest before the Mic. 7.5. doors of thy mouth, oh my soul, sweep so much the cleaner be­fore the doors of thy heart too, and within its chambers; other­wise, thy Psal 57.8. tongue will be indeed thy glory, but no more than thy vain glory. Add whereto, Mar. 3.24, 25. that the Kingdom of God cannot stand in humane souls, wherein the heart [Page 138]and tongue stand divided against each other. The practical impieties of an hypocrite, Job 29.17. will break his own jaws, and pluck the spoils of Grace out of his teeth. If his tongue break not its own word, his hands will. Being evil, he may speak great things, but not good to himself, who speaks them, nor very likely to be good to others, coming through so polluted lips as his. But, oh my soul, David sayes, The words of the Lord are pure words: And his son tells thee, The Psal 12.6. words of the pure are Pro. 15.26. pleasant words. Oh count thou them onely pleasant, which are pure; and them pure, which are godly. Christ, who in one sense Mat 10.19. forbids thee, in an­other commands thee, to take thought how, and what thou shalt speak. Ecc. 5.1. Be not rash with thy mouth, sayes Solomon: Be Jam 1.19. slow with it, sayes James. 1 Co 14.19. Five words with understanding ones self, and with edifyingness to others, are better than ten thousand with­out [Page 139]the same, sayes Paul. The wi­sest of men declares it, That acce­ptable words he did not find, with­out Ecc 12.10. seeking them out. The most godly of men professes, it cost him good Psal. 39.1. heed to keep sin out of his tongue, and sometimes 'twas a bridle onely, which could rule it. A blessed prophet mentions Mic 7.5. doors of the mouth, and calls for Porters to keep them to. Were it an easie thing, graciously to open those doors, Why prayed Psal. 51.15. Da­vid so urgently to God, to open his for him? Were it easie to keep them duly shut; one chapter in St. James his Epistle, would swarm with errors. Though one love pure­ness of heart, 'tis not the natural gift, but the supernatural Pro 22.11. grace of ones lips, for which the King of Heaven will become our friend. In the multitude of words utter'd by the best, if there be not a mul­titude, yet neither is there any Pro. 10.19. want of sin. Thy sad and woful ex­perience tells thee, Thou art apt to [Page 140] Exo 23.2. follow those multitudes to do evil. Wherefore do this now, oh my soul, and deliver thy self, go humble thy self to God! and give not sleep to thine eyes, Pro. 6.3, 4, 2 or slumber to thy eye-lids, till thou hast con­fess'd it to him, that thou hast been snar'd with the words of thy mouth, and taken by the words of thy mouth, which had they been savou­ry and sound, they had been Pro 8.11, 19. better than rubies, and their fruit better than gold; yea, fine gold: but being corrupt, Psal 58.4. their poison is like the poison of a serpent; and when best painted, they are but stinking sepulchres. Go, and be­seech the Christ of God, to give thee a Luk 21.15. Rom. 15.6. 1 Cor. 13.1. mouth and wisedom; wisedom with my heart, and mouth also, to glorifie him all the day long; to make his Word the rule and mold, wherein to cast mine. Would God, oh my soul, the tongue of men and Angels were but one; and the praises of God were as in­cessantly sung aloud on earth, as [Page 141]in heaven! Would God there were no such things, as tongues devising Psal 52.2. mischiefs, and like sharp rasors, working deceitfully! Would God there were no tongues of the beast, save in the mouths of beasts! and Psal 49.3. the meditation of humane hearts, were so of understanding, that the mouth of the whole world would be of wisedom! Would God iniquitie were more than tongue-ty'd, even rooted out; and the words of men, Psal. 12.7. Mat. 12.34. would become as the words of God, pure words, tried in the furnace purified seven times! But seeing so it (sadly) is, that out of the abundance of my hearts wickedness, my tongue is hastie to speak. And seeing in the Job 20.12. Pro. 10.14 Mal. 2.7. mouths of the most, wicked­ness is sweet, and holiness bitter as gall: seeing the mouths of fools are near destroying themselves, and others too: Seeing God will also require his Law at thy mouth; and Christ Jesus owns not those for his, whose lips are not as Can 3.8, 11. thred of [Page 142]scarlet, and speech comely; whose lips drop not as the honey comb; and under whose tongues there's not honey and milk. See Can 5.13. I charge thee, oh my soul, before God, and the elect Angels, that thou slack not prayer, till thou hear God saying to me; All dayes of thy life, I will be with thee, and with thy mouth, and Exo 4.12. teach thee what thou shalt say.

CUrse ill companie, oh my Psal 103.1, 2, 3, 4, 5. soul, and all that is within me, curse its wicked name! Curse it, oh my soul, and forget not all its injuries! which sets afoot all thy iniquities, and strengthens all thy diseases, which reduces thy spiritual life to destruction, and crowns thee with the thorns of its loving kind­ness! [Page 143]which fills thy mouth with evil things, Isa. 65.4. & broth of abomina­ble things! Psal. 103.12. As far as the East is from the West, so far hath it remo­ved the thoughts of my God, and my Christ from me. Even when I remember it, Job 21.6. I am affraid, and trembling takes hold on me. For it hath cast down many wounded; yea, many strong in grace, have been slain by the wiles of it. Satans agents are subtile spirits, and his mi­nisters a Psal 105.4. Psal. 76.7. Psal. 76 1, 2, 3. flaming fire! They, even they are to be feared, and who can stand not guiltie, or at least not accessary in their sight? In evil companie. Satan is well known, his name is great in evil companie, in e­vil companie also is his tabernacle, and his dwelling-place in evil companies. There breaks he the ar­rows of the Almightie, the shield of Faith, the sword of the Spirit, and the whole armour of God. Oh my soul, Psa. 1.1. 'tis bad walking in the counsel of the ungodly; 'tis worse standing in the way of sinners, and [Page 144]to sit in the feat of the scornful is worst of all; unlikely to dwell in God's holy Hill, is that man, in whose eyes a vile person is not con­temned. Of evil companie, Job 42.5, 6. I had long heard, by the hearing of the ear; but when my eye saw it, and by sad experience I felt it, I ab­hor'd it, and my self for no more abhorring it, in dust and ashes. Psal 149.8. For it binds the motions of the ho­ly Spirit in chains; and the Dictates of conscience in fetters of iron: and it works with 2 Th 2.10. such deceiva­bleness of unrighteousness, in them that perish by it, that few who Pro. 2.19. go in unto it, return again, nor take hold such of the paths of life. Thy good companie be to me, but as a very lovely Eze. 33.32. song, of one that hath a pleasant voice, and can play well upon an instrument. Though I hear their words, and ei­ther do them not, or not as I ought; Yet alas, in evil companie all things are said, and done too, unto edifica­tion! They build one up in vanity, [Page 149]and sinful-mindedness; and the 2 Co 10.4, 5. weapons of their warfare, I will say it, are (though carnal) yet mightie, through the Devil without, and devilish Justs within, to the pulling down of the strong­est holds of Grace, and casting down holy apprehensions, and eve­ry divine thing, that exalts it self against the works of Satan. True it is, evil companie cannot enjoyn or enforce: yet Phil 9, 10. as Paul did Philemon) for loves sake, it will be­seech us to entertain again, those very sins which we have renounced. Satan cannot force, but shrewdly can he tempt; and I much mistake, if evil companie be not the very brightness, and Heb 1.3, 13. Pro. 2.27. express image of his person: Nay, and methinks, I hear the Devil saying to all com­panie, Sit you at my right hand, and I will make some of your ene­mies my foot stool. Deep, oh my soul, deep is the ditch, and narrow is the pit of evil company; and it is almost Heb 8 4. impossible for those, [Page 150]who are once so darkned, as to tast their hellish gifts, and be made par­takers of the damned Ghost, who is never more an Abaddon and Apol­luon, than in evil company, ever again to return savingly, to the great Shepherd and Bishop of souls. Rev 2.13. I know the works of such as dwell in evil companie, even where Satan's seat is; they hold fast Sa­tan's name, and deny not his ser­vice. No wonder that Elihu cries out, Job 34.7, 8. What man is like Job, if once he goes so much, as in com­panie with workers of iniquitie, and walks with wicked men? Da­vid said once to Abigail, 1 Sa. 25.32, 33. Bles­sed be the Lord God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me. Blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou! But alas! How oft have I said, Cursed be my own sin in unnecessary visits and resorts! cursed be their advices, and cursed their wayes. It was a true report which I had heard in my minoritie and childhood, of the Acts and [Page 151]madness of evil companie; how­beit, 2 Ch 9.5, 6, 7 I believed not their words, who told me thereof, till my eyes had seen it. And behold, oh my soul, my soul, and all that is within me, Behold, the one half was not told me, the sin of evil companie, and its infectiousness ex­ceed the fame thereof! Cursed are their men, and cursed their servants, which stand continually about them, and hear their folly. Psal. 24 7.9. Open the gates of the house, and of the heart to evil companie, and with­out the least doubt, the Prince of darkness shall come in; and when he comes, shall find or make the heart emptie, swept and garnish'd for his use. Egypt was no house of Bondage, comparable Exo 20.1. to that of Egyptian Companie: nor is ever the Lord's flock so carried away cap­tive, as when they are carried by their own heedlesness or worse, in­to the Synagogue of Satan: for these captivities Jer. 13.17. weep thou, oh my soul, in secret places, my [Page 152]eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears! 'Tis evil companie, oh my soul, that deceives its neighbor, Pro 26.19, 18, 25, 26. throws fire-brands, arrows and death, and saith, Am not I in sport. Oh when it speaks fair, be­lieve it not, there are seven abomi­nations in its heart! Their hate is covered with deceit: may their wickedness be shewn before the whole Congregation of God. In a worse sense than Paul's, We are made of the filth of the world, when we have fellowship with those who are so. Mat 11.19. 2 Cor. 6.14. Christ was a friend indeed, to Publicans and sinners, and so may we. Though he held companie, he held no commu­nion with them, nor may we. His companie with them, was to re­form them. Wo to us, if our com­pany-keeping with men evil, be not to make them good, and with a care, they make not us evil. Had the Prince of this world any thing in him to catch him by? nothing at all. Wo then to us, who have so [Page 153]much for him to catch us by, if we make so bold as he, in some cases: Psal. 119.63. David was companion to all them who feared God, and kept his precepts; in order to which, he took a very good (and it may be the onely) course, when he resol­ved, that he would not know Psal 101.4. a wicked person. If I will imitate my God, Psal. 7.11. who is angry with all wicked every day, I must be angry every day with my wicked self, and beware of my own companie; and why not as well of all wicked companie. Pro. 15.9. A wicked man is loathsome to God, why should he be lovely to me; or how can he, if I am like God in my affections? Had the Lord Christ thought it im­possible for me, to converse with worldly men, without holding communion with them, I am per­swaded he would have Joh. 17.15. prayed the Father, to have taken me out of the world; which sith he has not, I resolve to sojourn (if pro­vidence will require me) in [Page 154] Psal 120.5. Mesech; and have my habita­tion in Kedar: But to put away Psal 119.119. all the wicked like dross, to beware of devils very much, but of men, more, and put a wide difference between men and brethren. And now, Acts 15 13. oh my soul, to confirm thy faith, and animate thy zeal, herein I charge thee before the Trinitie, and the elect Angels, to con well Two Texts, which have flaming swords to keep thee out of ill com­panie: The one is Gen. 3.15. The other Rev. 22.11. All between re­member, but these repeat thou eve­ry morn, noon, and night. A­men.

LOrd! Psal 119.79. Psal 139.14. thy hands have made me, and fashioned me: But nor 1, nor my parents know how! I am fearfully and wonderfully made, in the very Isa. 40.6. grass-plat of my flesh; and even such Psal. 139.6. knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is high, I can­not attain it. But as for my spiritu­al substance, Heb 10.34. Heb. 12.9. my better and in­during substance, my spirit, where­of thou art the immediate Father, how that lives, moves, and has its being; what it is, how it-acts, how it lives, man knows not; it Job 28.21, 23. is hid from the eyes of all living, God onely understands the way thereof, and knows the place thereof. Though it dwell in a clod of earth, and a few drops of blood, all the world to it is as nothing, as a [Page 156] Isa. 40.15, 17. drop of a bucket, and the small dust of the ballance, less than nothing and vanity; it takes up the Isles as a very little thing. Oh my God, my bodie is not so little a a thing to the whole world, as the whole world is to my soul: fewer such bodies would fill the world, than such worlds would fill my soul. Thou hast but little in saying, The world is mine, and the fulness there­of; than thou magnifiest thy self, when thou sayest, Eze. 18, 4. All souls are mine, souls, Heb 11, 38. of whom the world is not worthy. I have read of the ends of the earth, and Psal. 135.7. I have seen an end of all perfection here­in. But the capacitie of my soul, I find exceeding broad, so broad, that nothing less than what Jer. 13.24. sills Heaven and earth too, can fill it; and if thou, oh my God, wilt fill it when 'tis Luk. 1.53. hungry, with good things, thou must fill it with no worse, nor less, than the fulness of God. The Lu. 58. heles of the earth may contain foxes, and the worlds [Page 157]nests may hold unclean birds; nay, each of them possibly may say, Psal 132.14. This is my rest for ever, here will I dwell, for I have desired it! But alas, my soul hath not where to lay its head herein! Thy Psal. 15.1. taber­nacle, oh my God, thy holy hill, thy House not made with hands is the least it can dwell in! The whole Earth is not a livelyhood for one soul, without thee; nor were Hea­ven it self tenantable, did not thy presence make it a Court. Thou didst once bid man Ge. 1.28. replenish the earth, but never the earth re­plenish man, whose soul thou know­est, Pro. 30.15. and makest one of those things which are never satisfied; and say not 'tis enough, till it has as much more than the World, as the Gen 3.14. Creator is than the Creation. Oh my God, I find that my soul cannot go upon its belly, and eat dust: if thou thy self wouldst tell me of the Kingdoms of the earth, Mat 4.9. All these things will I give thee for thy portion, it would utterly be Can 8.7. [Page 158]contemn'd. I find my soul is opini­onated, that 'tis a substance of more value, than many sparrows, and will not be put off with a this-years nest, nor with Luk 12.19. goods laid up for many years neither, no lease for less than eternity: No inheri­tance besides an 1 Pe 1.4. incorruptible, and in no place but heaven will sa­tisfie it, much less at all gratifie it. If thou shouldst bid it go seek a happiness, it would return. Lord, Joh 6.68. to whom shall I go, thou hast the words of eternal life! it would say, Lord, every of thy 1 Ti 4.4. crea­tures is good, and nothing to be re­fused for a servant; but I will call none upon earth master, while I breath. Joh 18.36. Had Christ's Kingdom been merely of this World, I would never have fought for him so much as now I have and will, though I am driven out of the World. But the very truth is, Joh 3.16. God has so lo­ved the World, that I will never love it. I read in thy holy Book of many things lost; of but two (that [Page 159]I think of) won. Solomon menti­ons Pro. 11.30. Phil. 3.8. winning of souls: St. Paul, winning of Christ; let me win but those Two, and let Ziba take all for me; I cannot be excee­dingly anger'd, or pleas'd Jon. 4.6, 7, 10. Isa. 5.10 with the gourds, which come in a night, and perish in a night. Oh my God, I find, that whereas Christ's soul vvas made an offering for sin, most men make their souls an offering to sin: But my soul (mindful of its primitive glory, and likeness to God) declares its Ro. 1.18. Job 20.9. Wrath a­gainst all sin, offers it self to thee; and resolves if thou vvilt not, yet sin shall not have it; it vvill not serve sin, or abide by its crib. Nor vvill it humble and Psal. 113.6. abase it self to behold (amorously) the things that are on earth. In compa­rison of God, it Job 42.6. abhors it self; in comparison of it self, it abhors the gain of the vvhole World. The World, vvhose Mic. 6 10. scanty measure is an abomination to it; and to all of vvhose Treasures, the Heaven­born Joh. 8.23. [Page 160]Spirit saith, not infrequent­ly, (as Jesus to the Jewes) Ye are from beneath, I am from above: Ye are of this World, I am not of this World; Adding, that Mat 5.18. Heaven and Earth shall pass away; but not a jod or tittle of its sub­stance shall pass away. Hab. 3.17. Though the fig-tree blossom not, nor fruit be in the vines. Though the labour of the Olive fail, and the fields yield no meat: Though the flock be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls: Though Moab reproach, and Ammon revile, Zeph. 2 8. my spirit can sustain its infirmity, and through Christ prosper too; but without him, enjoyments are torments, and gains losses. Where­fore surely, oh my God, I may say of humane souls, That man know­eth not the price: and it is so far from being Pro 28.13. found in the land of the living, that with infinite justice and prudence we may all cry out, What shall we give in exchange?

OH my God, I cannot but ever and anon break out into such a Quaery of Heaven, as Abraham put to thee of Canaan; Lord God, How shall I know, Ge. 15.8. That I shall inherit it. I thank thee, O Lord, I do not yet hear thee say of it to me, as of that Canaan to Mo­ses, I have caused thee Deu 34.14. to see it with thine eyes, but thou shalt not go over thither: But nor yet do I hear thee say, (so plainly as I would) Fear not, it is my good pleasure to give thee Luk 12.33. the Kingdom. Many seek to enter in, and are not able: Thousands not onely say and read, but cry Lord, Lord, Open, and yet are shut out. Some get so far, that they be not [Page 162]far from Mat 7.22. thy Kingdom, and yet never reach it. Nay, the chil­dren of the Kingdom themselves, (Christ tells me) Mat 8.12. are cast in­to outer darkness, the most part of them; and if so, Lord, what cause have I to say to my soul, as Rut 3.1. Naomi to Ruth, Shall I not seek rest for thee, that it may be well with thee? Of that soul, oh my God, so forgetful am I, that oft it checks me (as Jud 16.13, 15. Dalilah her Sampson) Hitherto hast thou mocked me, and told me lyes; How canst thou say I love thee, and thy heart is not with me. When it reflects on the madnesses of my heart and life, it fears thou wilt one day say of me, as Achish 1 Sa. 29.15. of David, Have I need of mad men? Shall this fel­low come into my house? Heb. 4.1. It doth not infrequently alarum me in the being left us of entring into God's rest, we should come short of it: For 1 Pe 4.12. if the righteous scarcely be saved, Where shall we appear? Solomon sayes, Blessed is the man [Page 163]that fears alwayes. Oh my God, Let me not serve thee therefore without fear of my self. Psal 118.6. Da­vid said, He would not fear what man could do unto him, but sure he meant of other men: he fear'd his own heart, when he cry'd, Keep, yea, Psa. 119.13 Pro. 29 25. keep back thy servant from presumptuous fins. Indeed the fear of other men, bringeth a snare, as Solomon sayes; but the fearles­ness of ones self brings a million. The counsel is divine not to fear o­ther men, who Mat 10.28. can kill our body, and no more. But 'tis also as divine, that a man should fear him­self, who is not onely able, but prone by sin, and by disobedience, to destroy both soul and body in hell. Oh my God, Help me to at­tend Moses's advice, Deu 4.9. Joh. 13.13. to take heed to my self, and keep my soul diligently. I find, That in every Prayer and Conference, wherein I do not so do, I must cry out to my Lord and Master, as Josiah to his servants, when shot by the Archers, [Page 164] 2 Ch 35.23. Have me away, for I am sore wounded, and that in my grace and peace too. As Martha of Lazarus to Christ, I oft say of my faith and hope, to my care of my evidences for Heaven. Oh divine eares, hadst Joh 11.21. thou been here, my faith and hope had not dyed; and indeed when that is absent, whatever my labour is in Duties, in the end I must say, as Simon to Jesus, Master, Luk 5.5. We have toiled all night, and have taken nothing. Wherefore, oh my Blessed God and Bounteous, Grant thou, that when thy holy Spirit Mat 5.41. compells me to go one mile with him, in securing my title to glory, I may go with him twain. Oh let my conscience be ever tel­ling me, like to what Michol told David, If thou save not 1 Sa 19.11. thy life to night, (by ensuring thy evi­dences,) to morrow thou wilt be slain. With sins, sorrows, and tem­ptations. If at any time. I call the proud, Mal. 3.15. happy (as Malachi sayes;) and say in a but seeming prosperity [Page 165]of grace, that I shall never be mo­ved. Oh my God, let thy good Spirit take me off, as the King 2 Ki. 18.19, 20. of Assyria did Hezekiah, What con­fidence is this wherein thou trustest? Thou sayest, (but they are but vain words,) I have counsel, and I have strength. O my God, say to me of the host of my corruptions, my pride, follie, &c. as once thou didst to Gideon! Arise, Jud 7.5. Get thee down to the host, for I have delivered it into thy hand. Help me, oh Lord, incorruptly to say to Jesus of his Redemption-work, Rut 2.12. as Boaz to Ruth; The Lord recom­pense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou hast caused me trust; and to vow unto him, as Ittai to David, As the Lord liveth, and as my Lord Jesus liveth, (as the living Father liveth, and Je­sus liveth by the Father) surely in what place my Lord, (the King of Saints) shall be, 2 Sa. 15.21. Whether in death or life, even there will thy [Page 166]servant be. Help me, oh my God to set my Jesus Can. 8.6. as a seal on my heart and arm, with a love strong as death, with jealousie of all rivals, cruel as the grave. Give me to write on this World, and the glory of it, Dan 5.27. TEKEL, Thou are weigh'd in the balances, and are found wanting of any good for my soul. Col. 3.1. Job 23.2. Let my affections be on things above, my comforts in hea­ven, and my hopes on high. Let me know, oh my God, where I may find thee in all distresses, and let me come even to thy seat! When my heart is overwhelm'd, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I, Psa 61.2. Ps. 119.139. Job 32.12. Order my steps in thy Word, let not any iniquitie have Dominion over me in health, or distrust in sickness: in both let me esteem thy Word above my necessary food or physick! And so, oh my God, of my evidences for heaven, Mat 10.20. it shall not be I my self that speak, but thy Spirit in me. Amen, my God, Amen and Amen.

OH my God I am sure I can say, Mat 25.36. I was sick, and [Page 168]thou visitest me! Oh that in the Day of Judgement, thou maist say likewise to me, I was sick, and thou visitedst me! I read of thy own people, that once Isa. 42.25. they had a fire about them, yet they knew it not; nay, and it burn'd them, yet they laid it not to heart! Sure I am, I had my Disease about me, and I knew it not: nay, and it brake out on me, and never entred into my heart what it was, till by thy providence 'twas made known to me. So unable was I to do thy work; Psal. 103.3. , to heal all my diseases my self, that in St. Paul's sense, and another too, I might and still must say, 1 Co 4.4. I know nothing of my self. Psal. 39.12. When with this rebuke thou didst correct me, for my iniquities, thou madest my beautie to consume a­way like a moth, but in such mea­sure, did thy grace correct me, that I may use the great Apostle's words; 1 Co 1.27. When I was weak, then was I strong; for all the while Psal. 73.26. my flesh fail'd, my heart never fail'd: [Page 169]and whiles my disease chang'd, and my sores much destroy'd my skin. Isa. 1.5. neither was my head sick, nor my heart faint. Job 7.5.4. When my flesh was [...]ath'd with scabs and botches, my skin broken, and be­come loathsome through thy grace, oh my God, I was not full of tos­ssings to and fro, I had yet then it self Pro 24.33, 34. a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep, till my ease came to me, as one that travell'd, and my victorie of my Disease, as an armed man. My bodie did, (oh may my soul so too) Jam. 1.21. quickly lay aside all the filthiness and superfluitie of its naughtiness; and by thy bles­sing, receive that temper which sa­ved my soul from leaving it! it sud­denly laid aside every weight, Heb 12.1. and the Disease which did so easily beset it, by thy commission; all my distempers 2 Sa. 18.7. dealt as gently with me, as if th [...], oh my God, hadst charg'd them of me, as Da­vid charg'd Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, [Page 170]of Absolon; Deal gently with the young man; and at thy word of command, they departed from do­ing me evil; oh may they now do me good! For Psal. 119.67. before I was afflicted, I went astray, and so I am afraid to my heart, I shall after it. Hos. 5.15. If in my affliction, I sought thee early, what I shall do out of it, I am very jealous: for thousands call to thee, Psal 41.3. to make all their bed in their sickness, who commune not with thee, on bed or up, in their health. Thousands cry to Christ Jesus, to Mat. 2.17. take their infir­mities, and bear their sickness, who yet sacrifice their strength and health to the Prince of Devils, and live not to God. But in thee, oh my God, do I trust for good! I will not suspect that thou hast so cur'd my bodie, as to have kill'd my soul: this were to say to the whole Tri­nitie, (as Job to his Friends, Job 13.14.) Ye are all Physicians of no value. There is, oh my God, Jer. 8.22. aBa Im in Gi­lead, and a Physician there, for [Page 171]healthy as well as sick Israelites. Oh let me have both! for Lord, I ap­peal to him himself, who said, That Mat 9.12. the whole need not a Physi­cian, but the sick: if I don't need thee now I am whole, as much as when I was sick. When I was sick did I say? Alas, alas! Though my scabs be prettie well off, and sores competently up agen, I am (thou knowest oh Lord) nothing but spi­ritual wounds, and bruises, Isa. 1.9. Can. 2.5. and putrifying sores! I am still sick of all things, save of love to thee; nor do I find, that this rod of thy late correction, hath driven so far from me, as I could wish. Pro 22.15. Fol­ly, the seminary of all Diseases, that not only is in, but bound up in my my heart pit. Blessed God, I am not of them, on whom thy rod is not! but sith thy Job 21.9. rod with­out thy reproof, gives no wisedom that I know of, oh lend me the lat­ter, or I lose the comfort of the for­mer! If thou dost not spare thy Pro. 29.15. rod, yet if thou denyest thy [Page 172]counsel, I shall conclude my self a hated son, or a reprobate Heb [...] 8. Pa. 48.10. ba­stard. I read, affliction is called a fornace; Lord, if it be so, heat it as hot as Dan 3.19. Nebuchadnezar's, seven times hotter, and in with me into it, rather than let the Jer. 6.29. bel­lows be burnt, the lead consum'd of the fire, the founder melt in vain, and my wickedness not be pluck'd away. Help me, oh my God, that I despise not, or misim­prove this, or any of thy Job 5.17. cha­stisements; for that is a meer kil­ling Mat 23.37. of thy prophets, and sto­ning them that are sent to me! yea, 'tis a very saying, Who is the Lord, that I should fear him? All the sicknesses and the sorrows, that I improve not to Mat 3 2, 8. repentance and amendment of life, methinks in my reflections they bring me down, this thy dismal word, of old pronounc'd, Gen 3.16. I will greatly multiply thy sorrow! But verily, oh my God, when one of thy cha­stifements Deu 32.30. chases a thousand of [Page 173]my corruptions; and two puts ten thousand to flight: There be three that bear record in heaven, how unfeignedly I conclude, That affli­ction with Jo. 6.6. contentment is great gain! I cannot say of all my Visita­tions, Job: 17.12. as Christ of the Elect, Those that thou gavest me, I have saved, and none is lost; but yet sure I am, some of my afflictions there be, which when they have done all, cannot say, Luk. 17.10. We are un­profitable servants; for of one and another, oh my God! thou know­est, that Mat 1.20. that which has been conceiv'd in them, has been of the Holy Ghost. My perils by sea, that made me cry, Mat 8.25, 27 1 Cor. 3.21. Lord save, or I perish, through thy grace, made the wind and seas of my own tempe­stuous affections, more obedient to my conscience, ever since, in my de­liberacies. But alas, of any man a­live, I cannot glory in my self! Gen 47.9. Few and evil (like Jacob's dayes) have all my improves of thy corre­ctions been; and though in this [Page 174]sickness I hear a voice Mat. 19.21. of Christ, Come and follow me; and in the many singular providentials of it, I see a blessed plentie of thy good­nesses too, I fear I shall not Joh. 6.12. ga­ther up the fragments, so that no­thing be lost. But, oh thou that hast sweetly Phil 3.21. changed, and art yet changing my vile bodie. Let this sickness be unto the death of many a corruption, and let my soul be 2 Co 3.18. changed into the image of thy Son from glorie to glorie. Let not my pride, and securitie, and forgetful­ness of my God, like Lazarus, come out of their Joh. 11.39. graves, after they have been in for a few daies, and have stunk in my nosthrils! If thy Spirit help me not strongly to be­lieve in thee, though all my sins were dead, Joh. 11.25. Joh. 10.10, yet they would live, they would stand up from the dead, and unbelief would give them life! Unbelief, which when it comes, it comes that all sins may have life, and that they may have it more a­bundantly. How oft, oh my God, [Page 175]do I methinks hear this unbelief say of all sins (as Christ of him whom he loved) Our friends sleep, but I go that I may awake them out of sleep. Through faith, Heb 11.33. oh Lord, give me to subdue King­doms; yea, the world of oppositi­ons to my dutie, in improving this my Recoverie! I mean, this thy Eze. 37.6. laying sinews upon me, brin­ging flesh upon me, covering me a­gain with skin, and putting (as it were) a new life into me. Forbid good God, that the shew of my Isa. 3.9. countenance should cry a­gainst me, and Job. 31.38. Pro. 17.8. Pro. 17.17. the furrows thereof complain of me, for un­thankfulness to thee. Let this thy gift of my new life, be to me (as Solomon saies all gifts are) a preci­ous stone! Whither soever it turns, let it prosper to my faith, hope, and charitie. He tells me, a friend loves atall times; I know no such friend but thy self; nor any brother born for adversitie, but the Saints elder [Page 176]Brother. He saies, the Pro. 18.14. Spirit will bear infirmities. But oh, if he mean not by the upholding of thy Spirit, my experience contradicts him! Wherefore thou, oh Triune God, art my God, and early will I seek thee, because thy loving kind­ness is my life, and Psal. 63.3. Psal. 54 6. better than my life, I will bless thee while I live, and I will lift up my hands in thy Name, I will sacrifice unto thee. Psal. 4.12. Thy Vows are upon me, oh God, and I will render prai­ses! Psal. 119.11. Thy word will I hide in my heart, that I may not sin a­gainst thee! Every day will Psal. 145.2. I bless thee, and I will praise thy Name for ever and ever. Psal 146.2. While I live will I praise the Lord, I will sing praises to my God, while I have any being! and in this Quaery I will live and dye. Psal 116.12 What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits? Oh my God, the ve­ry word of the Devil I will veri­fie, and all that I have will I give [Page 177]thee for my life: Nay, and I will use his Words also to thee, of all that ever I shall have in this world, or in the world to come. Mat. 4.9. All these things will I give thee. Amen, my God, Amen, Amen.