IF all our European Travellers direct their courſe to Italy, upon the account of its Antiquity, why ſhould Scotland be neglected, whoſe wrinkled ſurface derives its original from the Chaos? The firſt Inhabitants were ſome Straglers of the fallen Angels, who reſted themſelves on the Confines, till their Captain Lucifer provided places for them in his own Countrey. This is the conjecture of Learned Criticks, who trace things to their Originals; and this opinion was grounded on the Devils Bratts yet reſident amongſt them, (whoſe fore-ſight in the events of good and evil, exceeds the Oracles at Delphos) the ſuppoſed Iſſue of thoſe Priſtine Inhabitants.

Names of Countrys were not then in faſhion, thoſe came not in till Adam's days, and Hiſtory (being then in her Infancy) makes no mention of the changes of that renowned Country, in that Interval betwixt him and Moſes, when their Chronicle commences, ſhe was then Baptized (and moſt think with the ſign of the Croſs) by the Venerable name of Scotland, from Scota, the Daughter of Pharaoh K. of Egypt. Hence came the riſe and name of theſe preſent Inhabitants, as their Chronicle informs us, and is not to be doubted of, from divers conſiderable circumſtances; the Plagues of Egypt being entailed upon them, that of Li • e (being a Judgment unrepealed) is an ample teſtimony, theſe loving Animals accompanied them from Egypt, and remain with them to this day, never forſaking them (but as Rats leave a Houſe) till they tumble into their Graves. The Plague of Biles and Blains is hereditary to them, as a diſtinguiſhing mark from the reſt of the World, which (like the Devils cloven Hoof) warns all men to beware of them. The Judgment of Hail and Snow is naturalized and made free Deniſon here, and continues with them from the Suns firſt ingreſs into Aries, till he has paſſed the 30th. degree of Aquary.

The Plagues of Darkneſs was ſaid to be thick darkneſs, to be felt, which moſt undoubtedly theſe people have a ſhare in, as the word 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 (Darkneſs) implies; the darkneſs being appliable to their groſs and blockiſh underſtandings (as I had it from a Scholar of their own Nation) Upon theſe grounds this Original is undeniably allowed them, and the Country it ſelf (in Pyramid's) reſembles Egypt, but far exceeds them both in bulk and number; theirs are but the Products of mens labours, but theſe are Natures own handy-work; and if Atlas wou'd eaſe a ſhoulder, here he may be ſitted with a ſupporter.

Italy is compared to a Leg, Scotland to a Louſe, whoſe legs and engrailed edges repreſent the Promontories and buttings out into the Sea, with more nooks and angles than the moſt conceited of my Lord Mayors Cuſtards; nor does the compariſon determine here: A Louſe preys upon its own Foſterer and Preſerver, and is productive of thoſe Minute-Animals called Nitts; ſo Scotland, whoſe Proboſcis joyns too cloſe to England, has ſuckt away the nutriment from Northumberland, as the Countrey it ſelf is too true a Teſtimony, and from its oppoſite A—, has calved thoſe Nitty Iſlands, called the Orcades and the Shetland (quaſi Shite-land) Iſlands.

The Arms of the Kingdom was anciently a Red Lyon Rampant in a Field of Gold, but An. Dom. 787. they had the Augmentation of the double Treſhure, for aſſiſting the French King; but his Majeſties Arms in Scotland is a more Hyſteron Proteron, the Pride of the people being ſuch, as to place the Scots Arms in the dexter quarter of the Eſcutcheon, and make the Unicorn the dexter Supporter, with the Thiſtle at his he • l, with a ſuitable Motto, Nemo me impun • laceſſit, true enough; whoever deals with them ſhall be ſure to ſmart fo ••… : The Thiſtle was wiſely placed there, partly to ſhew the fertility of the Countrey, Nature alone producing plenty of theſe gay Flowers, and partly as an emblem of the people, the top thereof having ſome colour of a flower, but the bulk and ſubſtance of it, is only ſharp, and poyſonous pricks.

Woods they have none, that ſuits not with the frugality of the people, who are ſo far from propagating any, that they deſtroy thoſe they had upon this politick State Maxim, That Corn will not grow on the Land peſtered with its Roots, and their branches harbour Birds, Animals above their humble converſation, that exceeds not that of Hornleſs Quadrupedes; ma •… y perhaps ſome of their Houſes lurk under the ſhelter of a plump of Trees (the Birds not daring ſo high a preſumption) like Hugh Peters Pu • s in her Majeſty, or an Owl in an Ivy buſh. Some Firr-woods there are in the High-lands, but ſo inacceſſible, that they ſerve for no other uſe than Dens for thoſe ravenous Wolves with two hands, that prey upon their Neighbourhood, and ſhelter themſelves under this Covert; to whom the ſight of a Stranger is as ſurprizing as that of a Cockatrice. The Vallies for the moſt part are covered with B •• r, or Bige, and the Hills with Snow; and as in the Northern Countries the Bears and Foxes change their Coats into the livery of the ſoyle, ſo here the Moor-Fowl (called Termagants) turn white, to ſute the ſimple, though the Inhabitants ſtill ſtand to their Aegyptian Flue.

They are freed from the charge and incumbrance of Encloſures, the whole being but one large Waſte, ſurrounded with the Sea: Indeed in many places you may ſee half a Rood of Land divided with an Earthen Bank, into many differing Apartments, according to the quality of Beaſts that are to poſſeſs them.

The whole Countrey will make up a Park, Forreſt, or Chace, as you'l pleaſe to call it; but if you deſire an Account of particular Parks, they are innumerable, every ſmall Houſe having a few Sodds thrown into a little Bank about it, and this for the ſtate of the buſineſs (forſooth) muſt be called a Park, though not a Pole of Land in't.

If the Air was not pure and well refined by its agitation, it wou'd be ſo infected with the ſtinks of their Towns, and the ſteams of the naſty Inhabitants, that it would be peſtilentful and deſtructive; indeed it is too thin for their groſs ſences, that muſt be fed with ſuitable Viands, their Meat not affecting their diſtempered pallats, without it have a damnable hogoe, nor muſick their Ears without loud and harſh diſcord, and their Noſtrils (like a Jews) chiefly delight in the perceptible effluviums of an old Sir R —

Fowl are as ſcarce here as Birds of Paradiſe, the Charity of the Inhabitants denying harbour to ſuch Celeſtial Animals, though Gulls and Cormorants abound, there being a greater ſympathy betwixt them. There is one ſort of ravenous Fowl amongſt them that has one web foot, one foot ſuited for Land, and another for Water; but whether or no this Fowl (being particular to this Countrey) be not the lively picture of the Inhabitants, I ſhall leave to wiſer conjectures.

Their Rivers, or rather Arms of the Sea are ſhort, few places in Scotland being above a days Journey from the Sea, but they are broad, deep, and dangerous, peſtered with multitudes of Porpoſes or Sharks (ſome of them perhaps amphibious too, that live more on Land than Water) which deſtroy their Salmon, the great Commodity of this Countrey, which being too good for the Inhabitants, are barreled up and converted into Merchandize, &c. The Banks and borders of theſe Rivers (eſpecially near their Towns) are adorned with hardy Amazons, though inverted, their valour being (chiefly) from the waſte downwards, which parts they readily expoſe to all the dangers of a naked • encounter. The exerciſe of their Arms, I ſhou'd ſay Feet, is much about Linnen; Sheets are ſufferers, a fit receiver is provided (not unlike a ſhallow Pulpit to mind them of their Idol Sermons) wherein foul Linnen is laid to ſuffer perſecution, ſo they turn up all, and tuck them about the their waſts, and bounce into a Buck-tub, then go their ſtock, and belabour poor Lint till there be not a dry thread on't. Hence came the invention of Fulling-Mills, the Women taught the Men, and they put in practice.

The Country is full of Lakes and Loughs, and they well ſtockt with Iſlands, ſo that a Map thereof, looks like a Pillory Coat beſpattered all over with Dirt and rotten Eggs, ſome pieces of the ſhells floating here and there, repreſenting the Iſlands.

Their Cattle are only repreſentatives of what are in other Countreys, theſe being ſo Epitomized, that it is hard to know what Claſs they relate to. Their Horſes are hardy, and not without Gall (as ſome ſay other Horſes are) uſing both tooth and nail to miſchief you; that they may not uſe more ſtate than their Maſters, they go Bare-foot, which preſerves them from the Gout; and if Hudibraſſes Horſe had been of this race, he had not needed a Corn-cutter: Their Furniture or Harneſs is all of the ſame matter, all Wood from head to tail, Bridle, Saddle, Girths, Stirrups, and Crupper, all wood; nothing but a Withy will bind a Witch, and if theſe be called Witches, I ſhall not oppoſe it, ſince by their untoward tricks one wou'd gueſs the Devil to be in them; their Bridles have not Bitts, but a kind of Muſroll of two pieces of wood; their Crupper is a ſtick of a yards length, put croſs their docks, both ends thereof being tyed with woven wood to the Saddle. Their Bed and Board too is all of a ſame dry Straw, and when they have it up, whip on Harneſs and away. Their Neat are Hornleſs, the Owners claiming ſole propriety in thoſe Ornaments, nor ſhould I deny them their Necklace too, for me-thinks that hoiſted wood wou'd mightily become them. Their Sheep too have the ſame preferment, they are coupled together near their Maſters Palace. Some Animals they have by the name of Hogs, but more like Porcupines, briſtled all over, and theſe are likewiſe faſtned to the Free-hold by the former Artifice; all their Quadrupedes (Dogs only excepted, in which ſort they much abound) are honoured with wooden Bracelets about their Necks, Legs, or Arms, &c.

Their Cities are poor and populous, eſpecially Edenborough, their Metropolis, which ſo well ſuits with the Inhabitants, that one Character will ſerve them both, viz. High and Dirty. The Houſes mount ſeven or eight ſtories high, with many Families on one Floor, one Room being ſufficient for all occaſions, eating, drinking, ſleeping, and ſhit—The moſt mannerly ſtep but to the door, and neſt upon the Stairs. I have been in an Iſland where it was difficult to tread without breaking an Egg; but to move here, and not murder a T—is next to an impoſſibility; the whole pavement is Pilgrim-ſalve, moſt excellent to liquor Shooes withal, and ſoft and eaſie for the bare-foot Perambulators. The Town is like a double Comb (an Engine not commonly known amongſt them) one great Street, and each ſide ſtockt with narrow Allies, which I miſtook for Common-ſhores; but the more one ſtirs in a T— the more it will ſtink. The other Cities and Towns are Copies from this Original, and therefore need no Commentators to explain them; they have ſeven Colledges (or rather Schools) in four Univerſities; the Regents wear what colour'd Cloaths or Gowns they pleaſe, and commonly no Gowns at all, ſo that it is hard to diſtinguiſh a Scholar from an ordinary Man, ſince their Learning ſhines not out of their Noſes; the younger Students wear Scarlet Gowns only in Term time; their Reſidence is commonly in the Town, only at School-hours they convene in the Colledge to conſult their Oracle Buchanan; their chief Studies are for Pulpit-preferment, to prate out four or five Glaſſes with as much eaſe as drink them; and this they attain to in their ſtripling years, commencing Mr. of Arts (that is meant onely Mr. of this Art) before one wou'd judge them fit for the Colledge; for as ſoon as they can walk as fas as the School (which they will do very young, for like Lapwings they run with ſhells on their heads) they are ſent thither, where they find no Benches to ſit on (only one for the Mr.) but have a little Heath and Fadder ſtrewed for them to lye upon, where they litter together, and chew the Cud on their Fathers Horn-books, and in good time are preferred to the Bible; from this petty School away with them to the Grammar School, viz. the Colledge where in three or four years time they attain to (their ne plus ultra) the degree of A. M. that is, they can extempore, coin Graces and Prayers for all occaſions; if you crack a Nut, there is a Grace for that, drink a diſh of Coffee, Ale, or Wine, or what elſe, he preſently furniſhes you with a Grace for the nonce; ſo if you pare your Nails, go to Stool, or any other action of like importance, he can as eaſily ſuit you with a Prayer as draw on a Glove; and the wonder of all is, that this Prayer ſhall be ſo admirably framed, that it may indifferently quadrate with any occaſion, an excellency no where ſo common as in this Countrey. Thus you ſee the young man has commenced and got ſtrength enough to walk to the Kirk and enter the Chair, where we ſhall find him anon, after we have viewed the out-ſides of their Kirks, ſome of which have been of Antient Foundations, and well and regularly built, but order and uniformity is in perfect Antipathy to the humour of this Nation, theſe goodly Structures being either wholly deſtroyed (as at St. Andrews and Elgin, where by the remaining Ruins you may ſee what it was in perfection) or very much defaced; they make uſe of no Quires, thoſe are either quite pulled down, or converted into another Kirk, for it is common here to have three, four, or five Kirks under one Roof, which being preſerved entire, wou'd have made one good Church, but they cou'd not then have had Preaching enough in it: Out of one Pulpit now they have thirty Sermons per week, all under one Roof, plenty of Spiritual proviſion which guſts much better with a mixture of the fleſh; as you may gueſs by their Stools of Repentance in every Kirk, well furniſhed with Whore-mongers and Adulterers of both Sexes. In Venice, the ſhadows only of Curtezans are expoſed to publick view only in Effigie, but here the Whore in perſon has a high place provided her in the view of the whole Congregation for the benefit of Strangers, who (ſome think) need not this direction, but may truck for all Commodities with the firſt they meet with. They uſe no Service-Book, nor Whore of Babylons Smock (as they term a Surplice) nor decency, nor order in their divine or rather contumelious Service. Wou'd a King think himſelf honoured by Subjects, that Petitioned him with bonet valed, but cockt his Cap the while his requeſt was granting, while precious Mr. Presbyter, grimaces, prays or houls, the Monſter Rabble vails; but as ſoon as Text is taken, Blew-bonnet takes place again, and this Pulpit-prater is eſteemed more than Gods Ambaſſador, having the holy Spirit at his beck to prompt him every word he ſpeaks, yet not three ſentences of ſence together, ſuch Blaſphemy as I bluſh to mention.

Their Chriſtnings (as all other things) are without form, only water poured on the Infant, and ſuch words uſed as Sir John's Mephiſtophilus ſupplies him with, and ſo the Child commences Chriſtian, as good (or better) than the beſt of them. Some think Marriage an unneceſſary thing amongſt them, it being more generous and uſual amongſt them to take one anothers words; however 'tis thus performed, The young Couple being attended with Tagrag and Bobtail, gang to Kirk, where Mr. Scruple (like a good Caſuiſt) controverts the point in hand to them, and Schools Mr. Bridegroom in his Leſſon, then directs his diſcourſe to Mrs. Bride, who being the weaker Veſſel, ought to have the more pains taken with her; he chalks out the way ſhe is to walk in, in all its particulars, and joyns their hands, and then let them fall to on Gods name: Home they go with loud raviſhing Bag-pipes, and dance about the Green, 'till they part by Couples to Repetition, and ſo put the rules in practice, and perhaps Sr. Roger follows Mrs. Bride to her Apartment, to ſatisfie her doubts, where he uſes ſuch pungent and preſſing Arguments, as ſhe never forgets as long as ſhe lives.

When any one dies, the Bell-man goes about ringing their paſſing Bell, and acquaints the people therewith, in form following, Beloved Brouthrin and Suſters, I let you to wot that thir is an fauthful Broothir lawtli departed awt of this priſant • arld, aut thi pleſuir of Aulmoughti Good (and then he vails his Bonnet) his Naum is Volli Voodcock, thrid Son to Jimmoy Voodcok a Cordinger; he ligs aut thi ſext door vethin thi Nord Gawt, cloſe on thi Nawthwr Rawnd, and I wod yaw gang to hus burying on Thruſdan before twa a Cloak, &c. The time appointed for his Burying being come, the Bell-man calls the Company together, and he is carried to the Burying-place, and thrown into the Grave (as Dog Lyon was) and there's an end of Wolli. Few people are here buried in their Kirks (except of their Nobility) but in the Kirk Garths, or in a burying place on purpoſe, called the Hoof, at the further end of the Town (like our Quakers) encloſed with a Wall, ſo that it ſerves not only as a Burying place, but an Exchange to meet in; perhaps in one part of it their Court of Judicature are kept; in another are Butts to ſhoot at for Recreation. All agree that a Womans tongue is the laſt member ſhe moves but the Latin Proverb, mulieri ne credas, &c. ſeems to prove it after death: I am ſure the pride of this People never leaves them, but follows them to their long homes (I was about to have ſaid, to the Devil) for the meaneſt man muſt have a Grave-ſtone full fraught with his own praiſes (though he was the vileſt Miſcreant on Earth) and miſerable memento mori's, both in Engliſh and Latin, nay Greek too, if they can find a Greek word for Cordinger, the Calling he was of, and all this in ſuch miſerable Scotch Orthography, that 'tis hard to diſtinguiſh one Language from another.

The Caſtles of defence in this Countrey are almoſt impregnable, only to be taken by Treachery or long Siege, their Water failing them ſooneſt; they are built upon high and almoſt inacceſſible Rocks, only one forc'd paſſage up to them, ſo that a few Men may eaſily defend them. Indeed all the Gentlemens Houſes are ſtrong Caſtles, they being ſo Treacherous one to another, that they are forced to defend themſelves in ſtrong holds; they are commonly built upon ſome ſingle Rock in the Sea, or ſome high Precipice near the Mid-land, with many Towers and ſtrong Iron Grates before their Windows (the lower part whereof, is only a woodden ſhutter, and the upper part glaſs) ſo that they look more like Priſons than Houſes of Reception; ſome few Houſes there are of late erection, that are built in a better form, with good Walks and Gardens about them, but their Fruit rarely comes to any perfection. The Houſes of the Commonalty are very mean, Mud-wall and Thatch the beſt; but the poorer ſort live in ſuch miſerable Hutts as never eye beheld, it is no difficulty to piſs over them; Men, Women, and Children pigg altogether in a poor Mouſe-hole of Mu • , Heath, and ſuch like matter, in ſome parts where Turf is plentiful; they build up little Cabbins with Arched Roofs of Turf, without a ſtick of Timber in it; when the Houſe is dry enough to burn, it ſerves them for Fuel, and they remove to another. The Habit of the People is very different, according to the qualities or the places they live in, as Low-land or High-land Men. The Low-land Gentry go well enough habited, but the poorer ſort go (almoſt) naked, only an old Cloak, or a part of their Bed-cloaths thrown over them. The Highlanders wear ſlaſhed Doublets, commonly without Breeches, only a Plad tyed about their Waſts, &c. thrown over one ſhoulder, with ſhort Stockings to the Gartering place, their knees and part of their thighs being naked; others have Breeches and Stockings all of a piece of Plad ware, cloſe to their thighs; in one ſide of their Girdle ſticks a Durk or Skean, about a foot or half a yard long, very ſharp, and the back of it filed into divers notches, wherein they put Poyſon; on the other ſide a brace (at leaſt) of braſs Piſtols; nor is this Honour ſufficient, if they can purchaſe more, they muſt have a long ſwinging Sword.

The Women are commonly two-handed tools, ſtrong-poſted Timber, they diſlike Engliſh men becauſe they have no leggs, or (like themſelves) poſts to walk on; the meaner go bare-foot and bare-head, with two black Elflocks on either ſide their faces; ſome of them have ſcarce any Cloaths at all, ſave part of their Bed-cloaths pinn'd about their ſhoulders, and their Children have nothing elſe on them but a little Blanket; thoſe Women that can purchaſe Plads, need not beſtow much upon other Cloaths, theſe Cover-ſluts being ſufficient. Thoſe of the beſt ſort that are very well habited in their modiſh Silks, yet muſt wear a Plad over all for the Credit of their Countrey.

The people are Proud, Arrogant, Vain-glorious boaſters, Bloody, Barbarous, and Inhuman Butchers. Couzenage and Theft is in perfection amongſt them, and they are perfect Engliſh-haters, they ſhew their pride in exalting themſelves and depreſſing their Neighbours. When the Palace at Edenburgh is finiſhed, they expect his Majeſty will leave his rotten Houſe at White-Hall, and live ſplendidly amongſt his nown Countrey-men the Scots; for they ſay that Engliſhmen are very much beholden to them that we have their King amongſt us. The Nobility and Gentry Lord it over their poor Tenants, and uſe them worſe than Gally-ſlaves; they are all bound to ſerve them, Men, Women, and Children; the firſt Fruits is always the Landlords due, he is the Man that muſt firſt board all the young Married Women within his Lairdſhip, and their Sons are all his Slaves, ſo that any mean Laird will have 6 or 10. or more followers, beſides thoſe of his own name, that are inferiour to him, muſt all attend him (as he himſelf muſt do his Superiour, of the ſame name, and all of them attend the Chief) if he receives a Stranger, all this train muſt be at his beck Armed as aforeſaid; if you drink with them in a Tavern, you muſt have all this Rubbiſh with you; and if you offend the Laird, his Durk ſhall ſoon be ſheathed in your Belly, and after his, every one of his Followers, or they ſhall ſuffer themſelves that refuſe it, that ſo they may be all alike guilty of the Murder: Every Laird (of note) hath a Gibbit near his Houſe, and has power to Condemn and Hang any of his Vaſſals; ſo they dare not oppoſe him in any thing, but muſt ſubmit to his Commands, let them be never ſo unjuſt and Tyranical. There are too many Teſtimonies of their Cruelty amongſt themſelves in their own Chronicles, 40 of their Kings have been Barbarouſly Murdered by them, and half as many more have either made away themſelves for fear of their torturing of them, or have dyed miſerably in ſtreight Impriſonment. What ſtrange Butcheries have been committed in their feuds, ſome of which are in agitation at this day, viz. Argile with the Macclanes, and Mac Donnels about Mula Iſland, which has coſt already much blood, and is likely will coſt much more before it will be decided; their ſpirits are ſo mean, that they rarely Rob, but take away life firſt, lying in Ambuſcade, they ſend a brace of Bullets on Embaſſy through the Travellars body; and to make ſure work, they ſheath their Durks in his liveleſs trunk; perhaps to take off their fire edges, as new Knives are ſtuck in a Bag-pudding. If an Highlander be injured, thoſe of his own name muſt defend him, and will certainly have ſatisfaction from the Offenders: A late inſtance whereof was at Inverneſs, (a conſiderable Town) where one of the Macdonnels was ſlain, but ſhortly the chief of the Name came down againſt the Town with 1500 Men of his own Name, and threatned to ſire the Town, but the Inhabitants compounded with them for 2000 l.

Their Cruelty deſcends to their Beaſts, it being a cuſtom in ſome places to feaſt upon a living Cow they tye in the middle of them, near a great ſire, and then cut collops of this poor living Beaſt, and broil them on the fire, till they have mangled her all to pieces; nay, ſometimes they will only cut of as much as will ſatisfie their preſent Appetites, and let her go till their greedy Stomacks calls for a new ſupply; ſuch horrible Cruelty as can fearce be parallel'd in the whole world! Their Theft is ſo well known that it needs no proving, they are forced to keep Watch over all they have, to ſecure it; their Cattle are watch'd day and night, or otherwiſe they wou'd be over-grown by morning. In the Highlands they do it publickly before the face of the Sun, if one Man has two Cows, and another wants, he ſhall ſoon ſupply himſelf from his Neighbour, who can find no remedy for it. The Gentry keep an Armory in their own Houſes, furniſh'd with ſeveral ſorts of fire Arms, Pikes and Halbe • ts, with which they Arm their followers, to ſecure themſelves from the Rapine of their Neighbourhood. The Lowland Language may be well enough underſtood by an Engliſhman, but the Highlanders have a peculiar Lingua to themſelves, which they call Erſt, unknown to moſt of the Lowland men, except only in thoſe places that border on them, where they can ſpeak both: Yet theſe People are ſo curriſh, that if a Stranger inquire the way in Engliſh, they will certainly anſwer in Erſt, and find no other Language than what is forc'd from them with a Cudgel. If Cornelius Agrippa had travelled Scotland, ſure Cookery had not been found in his Vanity of Sciences, ſuch is their ſingular skill in this Art, that they may defie the world to rival them; King James's Treat for the Devil, that is a Poll of Ling, a Joll of Sturgeon, and a Pigg, with a pipe of Tobacco for digeſtion, had been very compleat, if the ordering thereof had been aſſigned to a Cuke of this Countrey, who can ſute every diſh with its proper hogoe, and bring Corruption to your Table, only to mind Men of Mortality: Their Meat is Carrion when 'tis kill'd, but after it has been a Fortnight a perfuming with the Aromatick air, ſtrained through the calmy trunks of Fleſh flies, then it paſſes the tryal of fire under the care of one of thoſe exquiſite Artiſts, and is diſh'd up in a Sea of ſweet Scotch Butter, and ſo cover'd and ſerved hot up to the Table: O how happy is he that is placed next to it, with a priviledge to uncover it, and receive the hot ſteams of this dainty diſh, almoſt ſufficient to cure all Diſtempers. It will be needleſs to inſtance in particulars ſo plain and evident to all that have travell'd through the Countrey, that they may certainly bear away the Bell from all their Neighbouring Nations, or indeed from the whole world. Their Nobility and Gentry have Tables plentifully enough furniſh'd, but few or none of them have their Meat better order'd: To put ones head into their Kitchen-doors, is little leſs than deſtructive; to enter Hell alive, where the black Fairies are buſied in mangling dead Carcaſes, and the Fire and Brimſtone, or rather ſtew and ſtinck, is ready to ſuffocate you, and yet (which is ſtrange) theſe things are agreeable to the humours of the people. The Poorer ſort live of Haddock, Whiting, and ſower Milk, which is cryed up and down their Streets (Whea buyes ſawer Milk) and upon the ſtinking Fragments that are left at their Lairds Table. Prodigious Stomacks, that like the Gulon, can feed on their own Excrements, and ſtrain their Meat through their Stomacks, to have the pleauſe of devouring it again!