THere is no greater sign in the World of a Bad and Bafled Cause, than its being supported by Ill-words, instead of Arguments; Railing, for want of Reason, and False Suggestions instead of Answers, to plain and positive Proofs. In the Modest An­swer to Brown's and Smith's Immodest Me­moirs and Remarks, I charge them with matters of Fact, and quote Credi­ble Witnesses to prove every Allegation; and they being utterly unable ro refute any one particular through the whole Discourse, are pleased to drop the Con­troversy, and fall upon me, in such a Rude and Barbarous Dialect, as none but Things of their own Characters could be Guilty of: And therefore if the Provocations they have given me, shall sometimes make me so far forget my self, as to requite them in kind, I hope the Reader will for­give [Page 2] give me, considering I am engaging a­gainst a Couple of Infamous Scoundrels, who in hopes that the Devil will always sit at their Doors, defy Law and Justice, and are Sworn Enemies to Truth, as well as to Good Manners. But thanks be to Hea­ven, our Age is more Wise, Genteel and and Modest, than to take the Drivel of Cankard Mouths, and the Nasty Froth of Ulcerated Lungs, for a Reply to Serious Matter; but on the contrary, will de­spise every Author, that treats his Anta­gonist, and Manages his cause after such a Beastly manner as these Poultrons have done, who if they had been bound Seven Years to the Devil to learn the Arts of Lying and Slandering, they could not have been more their Crafts Masters than they are; and for which Abuses, if I don't take my Remedy at Law against both the Authors, Printer, and Publishers, let all Mankind conclude me Guilty, and till then they must not expect, I will so far Credit their Scurrilons Reply, as to take any Notice of their Egregious and Suppo­sitious Calumnies, which are assisted by no other Proof, Colour or pretence, than the Impudent Assertions of a Couple of Exploded Villains.

Now before I rejoin to this Insignifi­cant, Incoherent, and Scandalous Reply, [Page 3] it will be necessary to acquaint the Rea­der why they Dropt the Argument to take Revenge upon me, and who the Persons are, that industriously but In­effectually strive to Blast my Reputa­tion; for which no other reason can be assigned, but that Brown and Smith are Tools for a Party, that are the Common Scandalizers of the Govern­ment, and Reproachers of every Ad­ministration: Against whose Calum­nies my Pen having been thought too severe: That sort of Malcontented Hu­morists, have by all Clandestine Arts im­aginable, endeavoured to weaken my Credit in that kind, and having this op­portunity, lived in hope to gain their point, and that their Libels against the Government might pass with greater Currency, when they had no body to op­pose them.

Another Reason of their Malice is, that I have stirr'd a Wasps Nest, some Men were more Afraid than Hurt, and fearing their ill designs would be discovered by my dipping in this Controversy, and know­ing that Brown and Smith had neither Re­putation to lose, nor Estates, nor any thing to Pay Damages for their Abusive Language, they thought them proper En­gines to execute their Pay-masters Ma­lice, [Page 4] and therefore have maintained them in Meat, Drink and Clothes: First, to abuse an Illustrious Peer, and then me for Detecting the Villanous Contrivance; who am able to Prove, tho' the Varlets Smith and Brown, and Brown and Smith, bear the blame, yet some considerable Persons (by their Titles) were at the Middle and both Ends of this Conspi­racy.

Now, tho' I cannot imagine what Spi­rit of Impudence, or Revelation from Hell, first engaged Smith and Brown into so Base and Vile an Undertaking, as the Printing their Memoirs and Remarks was; yet I cannot but think their Deserting that point is one of the Wisest things they ever did, for when they consider, that if their Slan­derous Tongues should still continue too long for their Mouths, in Abusing their Superiors, they might at last draw dan­gerous Knots about their Necks, 'tis no Wonder they begin to Bite them in as much as they can, without offending their Lords and Masters.

The Copy of Browns and Smiths Libel, was Offer'd from Bookseller to Book­seller in Fleetstreet and other Places, but none would undertake to Print so Scan­dalous a thing upon any Terms what­soever, till they met with the common [Page 5] Scandal Printer, Pillory Darien John Darby, who is the Third of his Family that has stood in the Pillory, for Printing Libels against the Government, and is so Bigotted a Phanatick Republican, that nothing can cure his Spleen or his Wifes Vapours against Monarchy but the Quintenssence of a Rope and Butter, which they have both stunck for want of these Ten Years.

The Title of the Libel should have been Mercurius Bifrons, one of whose Faces wants Wit, and the other Honesty. It was written by that Infamous Town Poet Tom Brown, the only Wretch alive that ne'er pretended to be Honest, and 'tis owned by Matt. Smith, generally called Frigster Smith: A Thick Scull'd, Empty Headed, Dull Insipid Coxcomb, who for want of Solid Greatness, swells the Title Page with Empty Ceremory, call­ing himself Esquire, tho' he was never own'd for such but by the Bullies of Al­satia where he lived till the Dissolution of that Society, and has all the Qualificati­ons, that may entitle him a Dignitary of that Ignoble Order. Smith is the Cats Foot in the Monkey's Paw: Brown writes Libels and silly Smith own's them. Brown is the Monster to be seen above Stairs, and Smith is the Zany that stands at the Door with [Page 6] a Trumpet at his Mouth, to invite Pas­sengers, to see a Calf with two Heads, or Brown's drunken Noddle, graffed upon Smith's Trembling Shoulders, which must needs be a dismal Figure and richly worth Sixpence a piece the shewing; or to make it more Comical, Smith is the Puppet in view, and Brown the Jugler be­hind the Curtain, that makes the Puppet speak, and Wiredraws him into all his Antick and Ridiculous Motions, and ac­cordingly I shall treat them as Fool and Knave in conjunction. Pray step in and see the beginning.

Brown innitiates Smiths Scandalous Sto­ry, by lamenting the loss of his Liberty; and yet Smith has often told his Friend Mr. Read since he has been in Custody, that his continuing in Prison was for his Good. In another place he makes Smith say, that he suffers for the breach of an Order he was ignorant of; when he knows the Bookseller and Printer, see­ing in his first Copy a Letter to the House of Lords, they shewed him the danger of Printing it, and refused to proceed fur­ther, burnt all the Sheets that were Print­ed off, and so lost above fifteen Pounds by Brown's recommending Smith to their acquaintance. Now if Smith's remaining in Custody be for his Good, his Complaint [Page 7] is giving himself the Lye in that particu­lar, as well as pleading Ignorance to a Danger he had notice of. Next Brown makes Smith say he is destitute of Friends, and yet I can, and when-ever Smith de­sires it will shew him under his Friend Mr. Charles Read's hand, credibly attest­ed, the Names of no less than eight Noble Peers that Smith told him were his particular Friends: And his Famous So­licitrixes Mrs. Mortimon and Mrs. Scot, whom but to name is to scandalize any Cause they have a Finger in, have also said Smith has many considerable Friends also in the Honourable House of Commons, that watch an opportunity to do him service, with other Fine things that I for­bear to relate, because those Noted Fe­male are the Authors of them. And then with what Face can Brown make Smith say he is destitute of Friends, when him­self and Friends at other times boast of the Numbers of them.

Next, Brown makes Smith insinuate (for they dare aver nothing directly) that I have vouched several Persons as Witnesses to Facts of my own inventing, p. 4. and in pag. 8. says, he hears that A: R. and B. B. protest against what I have Quo­ted them for against Mr. Brown, because 'tis utterly false. These two Passages I shew­ed [Page 8] the Gentlemen intended under the two initial Letters of their Names, and they were pleased not only to deny what is there insinuated upon pretended Hearsay; but did me justice in the following Cer­tificate.

This Scandalous Suggestion being thus disproved, I proceed to the next Particu­lar, wherein Brown and Smith labour hard to persuade their Reader, that Smith and not Brown wrote the Book called Memoirs of Secret Service, and the other Pamphlet called Remarks, &c. and truly it concerns them both to struggle for this point, for the whole matter turns upon this Di­lemma. [Page 9] If Brown wrote the Preface, the Observations, the Minutes, the pretend­ed private Conferences, and Mended, Alter'd, and added whole Sentences to Smith's Letters, then all Smith's Pretences are but one Intire Abominable Contrivance, and both Principal and Accessary deserve an Exemplary Punishment.

Now the Course Brown takes in this Reply to persuade his Reader that those Books before-mentioned were of Smith's writing, is enough to convince those that know him, that all the rest he says is of the same Complexion, since all Smith's Acquaintance laugh him to scorn for pre­tending to it. Away trifling Brown, don't impose upon the World! call thy Brother Smith by any other of thy own Names but an Author, and we shall readily be­lieve thee, thou knowest wretched Fel­low, that he has not the Wit or Learn­ing of a Dormouse: He talk of Government and Politicks? Bid the Truant go to School again, learn to manage a Fescue discreetly, play at Push-Pin or Cockall wisely, con his Eight Parts of Speech di­ligently, and never hereafter pretend to any thing above the capacities of Boys, and Girls Slobbering Bibs, and Sucking Bottles, lest thou in time say of him as thou didst of Mounsieur le Cross, that he [Page 10] is like thy self, and fit for nothing but Hanging.

But Smith forsooth out of his Speaking Trumpets Mouth, makes it a doubt whe­ther Brown ever said he writ the Books in Question or not; and because 'tis nei­ther fit for them nor me to determine that Controvesie, let us hear what indif­ferent and disinteressed Persons have to say in that matter. You have heard al­ready what the Former Witnesses have said to the whole, I will next produce you a Certificate from another Gentle­man.

Now Brown knowing that these unde­niable Proofs were ready to be produced against him, and that he had a Bill of Fifty Pounds for writing that Book, he to save Smith's Credit, and keep up his In­terest with the Party, he exposes himself, [Page 12] and gives Smith Authority to call him a Lyar, if he said what is proved against him. What Shifting, Doubling, and Pre­varicating is here, between a Couple of Scoundrels to uphold a wicked Cause: But seven Lines before, Smith said Brown was a man of great Veracity, and here he takes the liberty to say he is a Lyar, or if you please to have it in a softer Phrase, what Brown says is utterly false. In truth one of these two are both Common Lyars; but in this particular the Scale turns to Brown's advantage, for the Books them­selves, and Smith's known inability to write them, is an irrefragible Evidence on behalf of the Poet, against the Alsatian Squire.

From this Sentence Smith appeals to an Original Manuscript which he presented to His Majesty's own Hand in November 1696. Bless me God, what an Impudent Asserti­on is this! sure these Wretches think they have a Patent for Writing themselves to the Devil Cum Privilegio, or they durst not obtrude such a Notorious Lye upon the World, as to say he deliver'd an Ori­ginal Manuscript into the King's Hands in November 1696. nothing different from the Printed Memoirs, when the whole Printing House can testifie, that they were forced to stay for Copy several days [Page 13] together, while Brown was writing it for the Press in 1698. Sure Brown was Drunk when he writ this Paragraph, or tho they are able to Lye with the Devil for the Whetstone, yet they have worse Memories than the Fool at Athens that forgot his own Name, and so want an Essential Requisite to carry on their Trade of Lying, and Slandering, without being detected in every Paragraph.

He also Appeals to his Original Letters left in the House of Lords. Brown and Smith are fond of the word Original, and are a Couple of Original Lyars for their pains; for they both know his Original Letters were lost, and that there were above twenty Copies, Sould, Pawn'd, and given away, before he produced those that were left in the House of Lords; but that which for ever puts an end to this pretence, I hereby offer to shew any man, Browns Alte­rations, and Additions to those Letters, un­der Brown's own Hand: Which they know I received from the Hands of the Printer, that was first employ'd in Printing their Infamous Memoirs.

In the next place he says I have taken care (as much as in me lies) to destroy Mr. Brown's Authority by the Scandalous Character I have given him: To which I only Answer, I am sorry he gave me [Page 14] cause by his Villanous Practices, in beg­ging Pardon for one Crime, and immediate­ly running into a greater; for which I am so far from repenting of, that to do my Reader justice, and convince him that I treated Brown but too Modestly, I shall enlarge a little upon that head, and refer him for the rest to the History of Brown's Life which is now a Printing, and then all mankind will say I treated him Mo­destly, till his Scandalous Reply provoked me to lay him open to the World.

In all their Scurrilous Pamphlets, Mulus Mulum scalpit, they Nab and Flatter one another at such a vile Rate, as would make a Dog break his Halter to see it. Brown sets up Smith for a Learned Prefa­cer, and a Profound Politician, and Smith daubs Brown with the Character of a Per­son of great Honour and Veracity, when Handy Dandy, Pickly Pandy, Overmost or Lowermost, take which of them you will, they are a Couple of Incorrigible Rascals.

'Tis true in the Modest Answer I called Brown a Scoundrel, and now I take the liberty to Add that he is a Common Shark, an Infamous Scandalizer, a Notorious Cheat, and has long since forfeited his Ears to the Pillory, and this I will prove not by ask­ing Ridiculous Questions, such as he [Page 15] concludes his Libel with (and might be asked of any man in Christendom) but by matters of Fact and Irreproachable Evi­dences, of which I have many more by me, though I now produce but one upon each Head, for fear of swelling this Re­joinder, and Forestalling the History of his Life, where you will find them Usque ad Nauseam.

Now to shew you Smith's Man of Ho­nour and great Veracity, who is stigmatiz'd by all that know him, for one of the greatest Lyars in the World, and a Com­mon Cheat! Come out Dear Tom. shew thy self in thy own proper Shapes and Colours. See how simply he looks now? How Mal à Droit the poor passive Villain makes his appearance, now he's entring upon his Trial. First,

I charge him with Borrowing a Sute of very Fine Linnen, some years since, of Mr. Henry Playford, Bookseller near the Temple, and never returning it, nor ma­king any satisfaction for it. Secondly,

I charge him wirh selling a Copy of a Book, called The Welsh Levite Toss'd in a Blanket, to Mr. Thomas Jones Bookseller, for Four Pounds, and receiving the Mo­ney of him, and afterward took the Co­py from him, under pretence of adding something to it, and Sold it to another [Page 16] Bookseller for the same Sum, without ever making Mr. Jones any kind of satisfaction to this Day: As you will find by the fol­lowing Letter he sent to me.

Mr. Roper Bookseller, at the Black Boy in Fleetstreet, who had been Brown's spe­cial Friend upon all occasions, employ'd him to write a Banter upon the New Sect called Philodelphians. Brown went seve­ral times to Hungerford Market to hear them, and having as he said furnish'd himself with matter, undertakes it, gets Mony at several times of Mr. Roper, while Brown pretended the Work was un­der hand, and hearing Mr. Roper was go­ing [Page 18] out of Town, Brown tells him the Copy was almost finished, and therefore desires him to leave Order, that upon de­livering the Copy he might receive the rest of the Mony agreed for. Mr. Roper consented to his desires, and the very next day after Brown knew Mr. Roper was upon his journy, Brown sews up a parcel of Useless Papers under a Marble Paper Cover, with the following Title. ‘Speculum Hoeresiarcharum;
Or, the Impostures of the New Sect, that call themselves Philodelphians, laid open in Six Letters, by Mr. Brown:’ And flou­rishes the Title Page with a Verse out of Horace, which in truth is his own pro­per Character, Prayer, and Practice.

With this Specions Title, under which was not one word relating to the Subject, Brown Trots to Mr. Roper's Shop, and shewing a Manuscript under the Title above written, Mrs. Roper not suspecting so vile a Cheat, pays Brown three Pound, that her Husband had order'd for him upon delivery of the Copy agreed for: [Page 19] Which Fraud was undiscover'd till her Husband's return; but Brown never made any satisfaction for the Cheat. And if these repeated Frauds don't merit a Pillo­ry, I know not what does.

Having sufficiently proved him a Shark, and Cheat, my next affair is to prove him a Common Makebate and Slanderer, which tho I might do sufficiently by reciting se­veral of his Pamphlets and Lampoons, wherein he has blasphemed the Gods, Af­fronted Kings, Libell'd Princes, Scanda­liz'd the Court and City, and in his Scur­lilous Petitions spared no Sex, Order, or Quality of Men or Women whatsoever; yet I rather chuse to do it under this pleasant Relation.

A Gentleman of a Clear Reputation, and a Plentiful Fortune near B—w in Es­sex, accidentally falling into Brown's Com­pany in London, he invites him to his House in the Country, where he enter­tain'd him nobly for a Month, took him with him to other Gentlemens Houses, and at length sent him away with Mony in his Pockets. Not long after the Gen­tleman commending Brown as a Pleasant Fellow to some of his Neighbouring Gen­tlemen, at whose Houses Brown had been, they all agreed that Brown was pleasant in his humour, but said he was a very Rascal [Page 20] in his Nature, for he had scandalously treated that Gentleman behind his Back, that had been so kind to him: Upon which they premeditated a Revenge, in­vite Brown again into the Country, and down he comes as Bluff as a Bully at an Ordinary.

The Neighbouring Gentleman hearing of his Arrival, came to attend a Ceremo­ny that Brown little dream'd of; and ha­ving repeated his foul Crimes and Mis­demeanors to him, in Reviling a Gentle­man that had been so extraordinary Civil to him, they told him Nolens Volens he must with his own hand draw up, and Sign a Confession of his Fault, Beg Par­don upon his Knees, and submit to a Punishment which was to be inflicted up­on him. Brown readily perform'd the first part of his Pennance, and then was lead into the Gentleman's Hall to perform the latter.

Now the Servants roll'd him upon the Table, as they mould Cockle Bread. Then they Scuer'd him up in a Blanket from Head to Foot, leaving a place like the Holes of a Pillory to speak through, and having soundly shaked his Corps to set­tle him in his Geeres, they Mount him up­on a Stool of Repentance, set for that purpose in the middle of the Hall, and then let in [Page 21] the Mob to be his Auditors, whilst with an audible Voice Brown makes this Con­fession.

I Thomas Brown do Acknowledge and Con­fess my self to be a Rogue, a Scoundrel, and a Rascal, that deserves not to live, for speak­ing Dishonourably of this Worthy Gentleman, pointing to the Master of the House, that has been my great Benefactor, for which Vil­lanous Offence I am heartily sorry, humbly beg his Pardon, and Promise never to com­mit the like Offence against any Man for the future.

When Brown had duly perform'd this Pennance, in Manner and Form as afore­said, and the Mob had exercised their Witts upon him, he was thrown into a Turnep-Cart scuer'd up as abovementioned, and the Cart environd by a strong Mob, Shouting and Hallowing; he was car­ried in Triumph through the Town, and at the end of it was Shot out of the Carts Arss into a Dirty Puddle, and Half a Crown being put in his hand was sent Packing on Bayard a-Ten-Toes to Lon­don.

Thus have I shew'd you in little, Smith's Man of great Veracity, whose true Character you see is a Cheating Lying Knave, that never gave any Man an Ill Word to his Face, nor a Bad one behind his [Page 22] Back, and therefore I thought it necessa­ry to describe them, lest those who con­verse with their Libel in the dark, should give it Credit for want of better Satisfa­ction, who, and what they are, that writ it.

That I wrote a Book called Cursory Re­marks is very True; but that I wrote an Answer to it my self is a Brownism; for the Answer to that Book was written by Mr. Sedgwick who Glories in it, tho' I ne­ver thought it worthy of a Reply, nor made one to it; and if Brown or Smith, or any of that Crew, can shew me any Reply to that Answerer either written by me, or any other Man living or dead, I hereby ob­lige my self to Pay him Ten Pounds that shall shew it to me. What little things Brown and Smith, and the rest of that Gang, lay hold upon to traduce me, and to perswade the World, that after I have written Eighteen Volumes for this Go­vernment, and have Answer'd the grea­test part of all the Books and Pamphlets that have been written against it, I should now Lampoon my self, by writing against a Government from whom I receive a comfortable Subsistence, and to which I will always remain a Dutiful Subject, tho' Brown and Smith, and all its Enemies, were Hang'd.

That Smith is maintain'd by a Party, I still affirm. He has no Estate, nor any honest way in the World to get a Penny, and I don't take him to be a Camelion that can live by the Air, and therefore till he publishes his Modus Vivendi. I shall still retain my former Opinion. I did also say, and credibly prove in my Modest Answer, That Brown said Dr. Chamberlain was Ca­shier to the Party, and sent Money to Smith as often as he sent for it: And now I fur­ther say, and can prove by other Witnes­ses than Mr. Read and Mrs. Scot, that the same Gentleman has paid Smith some considerable Summes since he has been in Custody, and I don't think it agrees with the Doctor's Circumstances, to give such large Sumes out of his own Pocket; for the Money that Smith pretends was left in Mr. Chamberlain's Custody to pay his monthly Pension abroad, was all spent long before Smith by his Brother Brown's hand set up for an Author.

Smith seems mightily concern'd at my saying he was broke for being a Notori­ous Coward, and wants to know the Lords Names, and the Instance of his Cowardize for which he was Broke, in which I am willing to oblige him, and therefore tell him he was Broke for being a [Page 24] Coward by those Noble Peers that were Commissionated by His Majesty to View and Reform the Army, whose Commissi­on is upon Record, and there he may find their Lordships Names, whom I have no need to trouble for Instances of his Cowardice, since there are so many nearer home: As his being Cudgell'd in White-Hall at the Head of his Company, being kick'd down Stairs by a Drawer at the Rum­mer Tavern; and others are pleas'd to as­sign his being so often Kick'd, and Cuff'd, and Tweak'd by the Nose, as the Cause of his having no moisture left in his Brains. In this Qualification I may also join him with his Brother Brown, who is as Rank a Coward as himself, who both had rather Eat than Fight, tho they had nothing but Dry Bread for their Dinners.

But now comes the Dead-doing Things, that must Ruin my Credit to all Intents and Purposes, and which has given them the Priviledge of calling me, I thank them, by their Own Names. The first is, that I call'd Charles Read by the Name of William, a Sad Crime indeed; but me­thinks he should first have enquir'd, whe­ther it were My Mistake or the Prin­ters before he had given me such hard Words. The next is, that Mr. Charles [Page 25] Read finding his Name used by R. Kingston to support divers things which he knew to be false, generously gave Smith a Certificate to disprove it.

Aye, now there's something in't, as the Fellow said when he drank down a Dish Clout: Before the Quarrel was fri­volous, only Tilting Foreheads, where the Hardest Skulls, not the Fullest must get the Victory; but now they have, procur'd a Certificate, certainly they'l Maul me, and I had better cry Quarter quickly, than be Ruin'd for ever.

What a Certificate! and a Certificate from Charles Read Gentleman? Wo worth the day! What Mortal Wight is able to bear up against the United Force of Brown Smith, and a Certificate; for if Three to One be Odds at Football, it is much more to my disadvantage at Logger­heads.

But Pleasantry a-part, are not Brown and Smith a Couple of Pure Rogues to Roast, that dare in the Face of the Sun, and in the same Parish where the Persons concern'd Reside, and while one of them is in a Goal, and the other Hides his Head for fear of being brought to Justice, dares, I say, write a Certificate under a Man's Hand that lives in Westminster that is ut­terly [Page 26] false, and consequently their Vil­lany might be easily Detected: I stand amazed to think on't. Han't they Crimes enow already to account for, but they must add Forgery to the rest? and yet as Strange and Wicked as it is, they have had the Impudence to do it more than once.

First, Smith contrived a much more Scandalous Certificate against me than what they now have Printed, which was also signed by Charles Read, wherein a­mong other Notorious Lies they accu­sed me as being a Spye upon His Maje­sty's Ministers, which Reade getting from Smith, brings it to me at the White-Hall Coffee-House, saying, See, Sir, what Smith has done, he has put my Name to a False Certificate, and at the same time shewed the Forged Certificate to me, written in Smith's hand, and signed Charles Reade; and other Gentlemen be­ing then and there present, Reade vo­luntarily offer'd to certifie under his Hand that it was false; which being thought ad­viseable and proper for him to do, Reade immediately signs the following Certi­ficate, and keeps a Copy of it him­self.

Thus upon the 29th Day of January, Three and Twenty Days after Smith's Certificate bears Date, did this Man of Singular Honesty Charles Read Gentleman, Certifie under his Hand, that Smith had inserted Words into a Certificate against Mr. Kingston, that were False, and Scan­dalous, and also that this Man of Singu­lar Honesty, Charles Read Gentleman, did also sign a Certificate, that he knew to be False, and Scandalous, and by this means have proved themselves to be a [Page 28] Couple of Fellows of Singular Villany and Perfidy.

This Practice being so early detected by Read himself, they thought it proper to lay aside that Certificate, and invent­ed that which is Printed in Smith's Libel, and which is as notoriously False in eve­ry Line of it, as Calumny could invent. As soon as I read this Certificate, I sent for this Man of Singular Honesty, Charles Read Gentleman, to come to me, and dis­course the matter: Which he promised several times to do, and to give me ano­ther Certificate under his Hand, that the Printed Certificate was also False and Scandalous, but never kept his Word; but on the contrary caused himself to be denied in Houses where he hid him­self out of the Way; so that neither my self, nor several other Gentlemen that made it their business three days together to find and speak with him, could ever see him since. And think­ing it a plain Case, that they which would Forge one Certificate, would Boggle at nothing in the same kind, I slighted him as a Self-detected Knave, and would wait his delaies no longer, being able to vindicate my Fair and Upright Dealing with Smith, and Brown by a Certificate from [Page 29] a Gentleman of known Reputation, which be pleased to take in his own Words as followeth.

With the same assurance that Smith Forged the Certificate, he says page 14. that he trusted me but with two of his Letters only, which is egregiously false; and to vindicate what I said in the Mo­dest Answer, that I had the sight of all his Letters under his own Hand, I appeal to the Right Honourable the Earl of St—d, to whom I shewed them all, and who was pleased to give himself the trouble of Reading them, at my House in the Old Palace Yard Westminster.

Brown and Smith are very merry about Smith's Dukedom, the Poet tumbles in his ugly Tropes, about the value of his [Page 30] Pension, and makes Reade say, that Smith never abused his Grace in any Reproach­ful Language; but these are all of a piece with the rest, as appears by the Certificate underwritten.

I do also affirm that Read was present when these Words were spoken, and if the Party have since bought him off, I wish them Joy of their Purchase; for I shall never Covet such an Evidence [Page 31] that must be Hired, at the Price of who bids most for his Testimony, and will give it under his Own Hand that he is a Lyar and a Slanderer. He has hi­therto given me a daily account of what Smith has done, and said, what Com­pany resorts to him, and who brings and sends him Mony, to support his extravagant Expences in the Goal, which (credibly attested) is a Reserve for the next Encounter. In the mean time I cannot but take notice that his Complaint for want of Liberty, and his threatning what strange things he would perform if he had it, is as Ri­diculous as the rest of his Libel; for every Man knows, he is as much a Prisoner at his Lodgings in the Muse as in the Gate-House, and dares no more walk the Streets on Working-days, than Whet his Knife at the Counter Gate, or Face a Bayliff.

That Smith's Letters of Correspon­dence were Mended, Altered, and had several Additions made to them, is al­ready proved by Five Credible Witnesses: Against which they having made no Ob­jection, I am not obliged to waste more [Page 32] words about it, having once already offered to shew the very Letters so Mended, Altered, and Added to, in Smith's and Brown's Hand Writing, which proves their whole Memoirs to be a meer Fardle of Improbabilities, Incongruities, and Invented Falsities.

What an Impertinent Tedious Ha­rangue does Brown and Smith make a­bout John Hewet? I confess I was not at his Christening; but was credibly informed he was but Fifteen Years of Age when he entred into the Service of the Jacobites, and the Printer unluckily making it but Thirteen, gave occasion for all the Noise and Insults they have made upon it. But this is their Way, to stumble at Straws but leap over Blocks, take abundance of Pains to amuse the Reader about Trifles, that by Muddying the Water, they may shun the stroke that affects them. All I intended by naming Hewet, was to prove that John Hewet, being interro­gated upon Oath by the House of Lords, declared, That he never acquaint­ed Smith with any of the Jacobites Se­crets; but finding him Inquisitive, and [Page 33] Prodigal of his Mony, Hewet collected News out of the Post Boy to get Mony from him, under pretence that it came from France. And to this, notwith­standing all their Mudling themselves in Ink, they have yet made no direct Answer to it; but think sculking be­hind Ill Words answers every thing.

The like they have done in relation to Captain Porter, whose mistake about which side Smith was Related to Sir William Perkins, he would improve to a rejection of the Matter of Fact; which they cunningly slide over, be­cause they knew it would have brought an Old House upon their Heads, there being several other Gentlemen ready to attest the same thing if there be oc­casion for it.

After this Slurr, they make a Hor­rid Noise with Smith's no Service, and quoted Letters and Minutes in their Justification, which have already been proved to be Spurious, and consequent­ly ought not to be given in Testimony. They are also very angry that I say Smith is a Dunce, no Scholar, understands [Page 34] no Latine, which I am ready to prove to his Head whensoever he pleases: And that I understand Greek better than He or his Brother Brown understands the Principles of Honesty, or the Rules of Good Manners; of which, if God has given them any Knowledge, the Devil has given them the Applica­tion.

Brown and Smith have made very bold with the Honour and Reputation of several Gentlemen, that have done the Government very considerable Ser­vice; but that I pass over with silence, since it proceeds from such polluted Mouths that are the Contempt of Mankind, whom to Tye up from their Meat was to scandalize Tyburn, and spoil a Couple of Ropes that might serve for better purposes. The Gen­tlemen are all known to be such, and Brown and Smith can't hope to escape a due Chastizement from them, if their being such inconsiderable Scoun­drels is not a Protection to their Ears and their Shoulders.

I have already given my Reader a short sight of Brown, and referred him to a full view in the History of his Life; and now am obliged to shew you his Counter-part in the Alsatian Squire Smith: Who Railing at my Modest An­swer, has given me an opportunity to vindicate it, as a Modest Answer in Ge­neral, and particularly in this Instance.

In the last page of that Book, I said Smith was a Vain Creature, for when his Memoirs were Printing, and he upon the Pin of commending his own Power and Politicks, he said in the Presence of two Reputable Citizens, That it was in his Power to Ruine or Preserve the Present Government: Now to convince him that I had Authority for what I said, one of the Persons that heard him, was pleased to give me the following Certificate.

Mr. Roper, and other Persons, were in Smith's Company at the same time, who being all Persons well affe­cted to His Majesty and the Govern­ment, took such an Abhorrence against Smith, for his Boasting, Disloyal, and Scurrilous way of talking, that they would never come into his Company since. What shall I say! Smith and Brown think their being such Infamous Wretches, will always protect them from Punishment; but let them take care for the future; for tho Eagles don't Quarry upon Flies and Maggots, if they persevere in Affronting the King's Ma­jesty, and abusing his Ministers, they [Page 37] will at last fall under the Pounces of the Law, and be Compelled to render up their Asses Ears to Justice, before their Calves Heads can spare them. And now I think I have shewed my Reader a Couple of very pretty Bea­gles, but that have the worst Mouths of any of their kind in Europe.

All the rest of their Libel spends it self in Reviling, and Threatening me. Against their former Insults and Scandals, I will seek my Remedy at Law; but since their Libel may in the mean time fall into the hands of Strangers. I think fit to Anti­dote their Venom, by giving a brief Account of my self: And as for their Folish Idle Threatnings. I am in no Pain, being secured of Life and Limbs by vertue of an Old Pro­verb, Canes Timidi vehementius la­trant quam mordent: To which, for Smiths sake, I will add another in English; Barking Currs commonly go with Bitten Ears.

Now, tho' I have already given sufficient Reasons in the Foregoing [Page 38] Discourse, why Brown and Smith ought not to be believed in any thing they affirm, and that they have offer'd at no kind of Proof to support their Scandalous Suggesti­ons; yet in Justice to my own Re­putation, which is dearer to me then my Life; I thought fit to exhibit the following Testimonials.

Their Insinuating my not being in Orders, after I am above Sixty Three Years of Age, and have Exercised the Ministerial Function in the Church of England, above Seven and Thirty Years; and have been Four times Instituted and Inducted into very con­siderable Ecclesiastical Preferments; shews their Ignorance is as great as their Malice; however to put it out of Doubt, let them read the follow­ing Testimonials, from a Gentleman that was Ordained by the same Bishop, and at the same time and place, with my self, which seems very Providen­tial, almost at Forty Years Distance of time.

Those whose Curiosity leads them further, may search the Bishops Subscrip­tion Book, to which Register I Appeal as an Undenyable Testimony of my Ordination.

In 1681, I had the Honour to be made Chaplain in Ordinary to King Charles the Second, and it being Usual for all persons, on whom that Dignity is Confered, to be Certified for by the [Page 40] Bishop of the Diocess to the Lord Cham­berlain. Dr. Gulston, then Bishop of Bri­stol, was pleased to give me the Certifi­cate following.

This Reverend Prelate is dead, but Mr. Nathaniel Powel, then his Lord­ships Secretary, is still alive in London, ready to testifie the truth of the above-written Testimonial. Next follows the Lord Chamberlains Warrant.

After this I had other considerable Preferments, a Prebend and a Recto­ry added to my Living of Henbury, and upon my Admission thereto, my Parishioners of Henbury were pleased to give me the under-written Testimo­nial. The Qualities of the Subscribers were added by my self.

And every other individual House­keeper that came to Church, and paid Parish Duties in the whole Parish: which consists of eight several Town­ships, whose Names would take up too much Room in this Paper, and there­fore are omitted.

In this Parish of Henbury I continued from 1678. till a little after the Happy Revolution: Then I sold an Estate in Henbury, paid my Just Debts, and brought above Two Hundred Pounds with me to London, where I have lived [Page 44] ever since. I have now served His Ma­jesty above Eight Years, and how I have behaved my self with Respect to the Publick, I appeal to the Right Ho­nourable the several Secretaries of State, with whom I have had the Honour to be concern'd: And in my private Con­cerns, to all the Tradesmen I have dealt with, who I am sure will all give me the best Words they have, and no man God willing shall ever have any Just Cause to say otherwise of me.

It was therefore a Foolish and Mali­cious Enterprize in Brown and Smith to think to advance their own Ill Designs by quarrelling with me, who am a Volunteer in this Service, and have averred nothing upon my Single Testi­mony, but what is confirmed by others; therefore if they design'd to take off my Evidence by these Clandestine Me­thods, their attempts were in vain, un­less they could remove the other Gen­tlemen also, who you see stand the Test, tho they have been often Intreated, and Threatned to do the contrary.

But the Poor Shabs are in their Trade, they must be Traducing and Slandering some Body, they care not Who! And what in the Name of Ill Luck have they gain'd by this Trial of Skill, but bruised Bones, and broken Heads, and seen themselves detected as Notorious Lyars and Slanderers in every Paragraph of their Libel. And since they Threa­ten still, and have made the Contest on­ly mine, let them know, The more they Stir the worse they'l Stink; for since I find I can write more in Three Days, than they were both (with that Shag­rag Dod's assistance) able to produce a Reply to in Seven Weeks, (tho they promised in the Post Boy to answer it in One) they have a full Employment for their Lives; for I will never give them over while these Three Poltron's are Unhang'd, or give over their Trade of Lying and Slandering.