I

HOw neer was I to danger, yet escaped? I was upon the Brink of the Brink of it, yet fell not in; they are well kept who are kept by thee. Excel­lent Archer! Thou [Page 2] did'st hit thy Mark in missing it, as meaning to fright, not hurt me. Let me not now be such a Fool, as to pay my thanks to blind Fortune for a favour, which the eye of Providence hath be­stowed upon me. Ra­ther let the Narrow­nesse of my Escape make my Thankful­nesse to thy goodnesse the larger, lest my In­gratitude justly cause, that whereas this Ar­row, [Page 3] but hit my Hat, the next pierce my Head.

II.

WHen thou shalt visit me with a sharp disease, I fear I shall be impatient. For I am Cholerick by my Nature, and tender by my Temper, and have not been acquainted with Sicknesse all my life time. I cannot ex­pect any kind usage [Page 4] from that which hath been a stranger unto me. I fear I shall rave, and rage. O whither will my mind saile, when distemper shall steer it? Whither will my Fancy run, when diseases shall ride it? My tongue, which of it self is a Iames 3 6. fire, sure will be a WILDE FIRE, when the Four­nace of my Mouth is made seven times hot­er, with a burning Feaver. But Lord, [Page 5] though I should talk idely to my own shame, let me not talk wickedly to thy dishonour. Teach me the Art of Patience, whilst I am well, and give me the use of it when I am sick. In that day either lighten my Burthen, or strengthen my Back. Make me, who so oft­en in my health, have discovered my weak­nesse, presuming on my own strength, to [Page 6] be strong in my sick­nesse when I soly re­ly on thy Assistance.

III.

THis morning my unseasonable vi­siting of a friend, di­sturbed him in the middest of his Devo­tions: Unhappy to hinder another mans Goodnesse. If I my self build not, shall I snatch the Axe, and Hammer from him [Page 7] that doth? Yet I could willingly have wished, That rather then he should then have cut off the Cable of his Prayers, I had twisted my Cord to it, and had joyned with him in his. Devotions. How ever, to make him the best amends I may, I now request of thee, for him, what­soever he would have requested for himself. Thus he shall be no loser, if thou be pleas­ed [Page 8] to hear my Prayer for him, and to heark­en to our Saviours Intercession for us both.

IIII.

SInce these wofull Warres began, one, formerly mine Inti­mate Acquaintance, is now turned a Stran­ger, yea, an Enemy. Teach me how to be­have my self towards him. Must the new [Page 9] Foe, quite justle out the old Friend? May I not with him, Con­tinue some Com­merce of Kindnesse? Though the Amity be broken on his side, may not I Preserve my Counter part en­tire? Yet how can I be Kind to him, with­out being Cruell to my self, and thy cause. O guide my shaking hand, to draw so small a line, strait, Or rather because I know [Page 10] not how to carry my self towards him in this Controversie, even be pleased to take away the Subj [...]ct of the Question, and speedily to reconcile these unnaturall dif­ferences.

V.

MY voice by Na­ture is harsh, and untunable, and it is vaine to lavish a­ny Art to better it. [Page 11] Can my singing of Psalmes be pleasing to thy Eares, which is unpleasant to my own? yet though I cannot Chaunt with the Nightingale, or Chirp with the Black Bird, I had rather Chatter with the Isaiah 38.14. Swallow, yea, rather Croke with the Ra­ven, then be altoge­ther silent. Hadst thou given me a bet­ter voice, I would have praised thee with [Page 12] a better voice. Now what my Musick wants in sweetnesse, let it have in sence, singing praises with Psal. 47. understanding. Yea Lord, Create in me a New Heart, (therein to make Ephes. 5.19. Mellody) and I will be content­ed with my Old voice, untill, in thy due Time, being ad­mitted into the Quire of Heaven, I have an­other, more Har­monious, bestowed upon me.

VI.

WIthin a little Time I have heard the same Pre­cept in sundry Places, and by severall Preach­ers pressed upon me. The Doctrine seem­eth to haunt my Soul, wither soever I turn it meets me. Sure this is from thy Pro­vidence, and should be for my Profit. Is it because I am an ill [Page 14] Proficient in this point, that I must not turn over a new leafe, but am still kept to my old Lesson? Ioh. 21.13 Peter was grieved, because our Saviour said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? But I will not be offended at thy often inculcat­ing the same Precept. But rather conclude, That I am much con­cerned therein, and that it is thy Pleasure, that the Naile should [Page 15] be soundly fastned in me, which thou hast knockt in with so ma­ny Hammers.

VII.

BEfore I commit a sinne, it seems to me so shallow, that I may wade thorow it dry-shod, from any Guiltinesse: But when I have commit­ted it, it often seems so deep, that I can­not escape without [Page 16] drowning. Thus I am alwayes in the Ex­tremities: Either my sinnes are so small that they need not my Repentance, or so great that they cannot obtain thy Pardon. Lend me, O Lord, a Reed out of thy San­ctuary, truly to mea­sure the demension of my offences. But O! as thou revealest to me, more of my Mi­sery, reveale also more of thy Mercy: Lest, [Page 17] if my wounds, in my Apprehension, gape wider then thy Tents, my Soul runne out at them. If my Badnesse seeme bigger then thy Goodnesse, but one hair's breadth, but one Moment, that's Room and Time enough for me to run to eternall despair.

VIII.

I Do discover a Fal­lacy, whereby I [Page 18] have long deceived my self. Which is this: I have desired to begin my Amend­ment, from my Birth day, or from the first day of the Yeer, or from some Eminent Festivall, that so my Repentance might bear some Remark­able date. But when those dayes were come, I have adjourn­ed my Amendment to some other Time. Thus whilst I could [Page 19] not agree with my self when to Start, I have almost lost the Running of the Race. I am resolved thus to befool my self no longer. I see no day to To day, the instant Time is alwayes the fittest time. In Dan. 2.33. Na­buchadnezars Image, the lower the Mem­bers, the Courser the Mettall, the further off the Time, the more unfit. To day is the Golden Opportunity, [Page 20] to Morrow will be the Silver Season, next day, but the Brazen one, and so long, till at last I shall come to the Toes of Clay, and be turned to dust. Grant therefore that Psal. 95.7. to day I may hear thy voice. And if this day be ob­scure in the Kallender, and remarkable in it self for nothing else, give me to make it memorable in my soul, thereupon, by thy Assistance, begin­ing [Page 21] the Reformati­on of my life.

IX.

I Saw one, whom I knew to be notori­ously Bad, in great Extremity. It was hard to say whether his former Wicked­nesse or Present Want were the Greater; If I could have made the distinction, I could willingly have fed his Person, and sterved [Page 22] his Profanesse. This being impossible, I ad­ventured to relieve him. For I know, that amongst many Objects, all of them being in extream Mi­series, Charity, though shooting at Random, cannot misse a right Mark. Since, Lord, the Party, being re­covered, is become worse then ever be­fore. (Thus they are always impaired with affliction, who there­by [Page 23] are not improved.) Lord, count me not accessary to his Bad­nesse, because I re­lieved him. Let me not suffer harm in my self, for my desire to do good to him. Yea, Lord be pleased to clear my Credit amongst men, that they may understand my hands according to the Simplicity of my heart. I gave to him onely in hope, to keep the Stock a live, [Page 24] that so afterwards it might be better graft­ed. Now, finding my self deceived, my almes shall return into my own bosom.

X.

THy Servants are now praying in the Church, and I am here staying at home, detayned by necessa­ry Occasions, Such as are not of my seek­ing but of thy sending, [Page 25] my Care could not prevent them, my Power could not re­move them. Where­fore, though I cannot go to Church, there to sit down at Table with the rest of thy Guests, be pleased, Lord, to send me a dish of their Meat, hi­ther, and feed my soul with holy thoughts. Num. 11.26. Eldad and Medad, though staying still in the Camp, (no doubt on just cause) yet [Page 26] prophesied as well as the other Elders. Though they went not out to the Spirit, the Spirit came home to them. Thus never any dutifull Child lost his Legacy for being absent at the making of his Fathers will, if at the same time he were imployed about his Fathers businesse. I fear too many at Church, have their Bodies there, and minds at home. Be­hold [Page 27] in exchange my Body here, and heart there. Though I cannot pray with them I pray for them. Yea, this comforts me, I am with thy Con­gregation, because I would be with it.

XI.

I Trust thou hast pardoned the bad Examples I have set before others, be pleased also to pardon [Page 28] me the sinnes which they have Commit­ted, by my bad Exam­ples. (It is the best manners in thy Court to heap Requests up­on Requests.) If thou hast forgiven my Sinnes, the Children of my corrupt Na­ture, forgive me my Grand-children also. Let not the Tran­scripts remain, since thou hast blotted out the Originall. And for the Time to come, [Page 29] blesse me with Barren­nesse in bad Actions, and my bad actions with Barrennesse in procreation, that they may never beget o­thers, according to their likenesse.

XII.

WHat faults I correct in my Sonne, I commit my self: I beat him for dabling in the dirt, whil'st my own Soul [Page 30] doth wallow in Sinne: I beat him for crying to cut his own Meat, yet am not my self contented with that state thy Providence hath carved unto me: I beat him for crying when he is to go to sl [...]ep, and yet I fear I my self shall cry, when thou callest me to sleep with my Fa­thers. Alas, I am more Childish then my Child, and what I inflict on him, I justly [Page 31] deserve to receive from thee: Onely here is the difference: I pray & desire that my Correction on my Child, may do him good, It is in thy power, Lord, to effect, that thy Correction on me, shall do me good.

XIII.

I Perceive my soul deeply guilty of Envie. By my good [Page 32] will, I would have none Prophesie, but mine own Num. 11.28. Moses. I had rather thy work were undon, then don better by another, then by my self. Had rather thy Enemies were all alive, then that I should kill but my thousand, and o­thers their ten thou­sands of them. My Corruption repines at other mens better Parts, as if what my Soul wants of them in [Page 33] Substance she would supply in swelling. Dispossesse me, Lord, of this bad Spirit, and turn my Envie into holy Emulation. Let me Labour to ex­ceed them in pains, who excell me in parts, and knowing that my sword in cut­ing down sinne, hath a duller Edge, let me strike with the greater force; Yea, make other Mens Gifts to be mine, by making me [Page 34] thankfull to thee for them▪ It was some comfort to Naomie, that wanting a sonne her self, she brought up Ruth. 4.16. Ruth's child in her bosom. If my soul be too old to be a Mo­ther of Goodnesse, Lord, make it but a dry-Nurse. Let me feed, and foster, and nourish, and cherish the Graces in others, honouring their Per­sons, praising their Par [...]s, and glorifying [Page 35] thy Name, who hast given such gifts unto them.

XIIII.

WHen young, I have almost quarrelled with that Petition in our Litur­gie, Give Peace in our time▪ O Lord, Nee [...]lesse to wish for light at Noon-day; for then Peace was so plenti­full, no fear of Fa­mine, but suspition of [Page 36] a surfet thereof. And yet, how many good Comments was this Prayer then capable of? Give Peace, that is, continue and pre­serve it. Give Peace, that is, Give us hearts worthy of it, and thankfull for it. In our time, that is, All our Time: for there is more besides a fair Morning required to make a fair Day. Now I see the Mother had more Wisdom then [Page 37] her Sonne. The Church knew better then I, how to pray. Now I am better in­formed of the neces­sity of that Petition. Yea, with the daugh­ters of the Prov. 30.15. Horse-leech, I have need to cry, Give, give Peace in our Time, O Lord.

XV.

UNruly Souldiers command poor People to open them [Page 38] their doors, otherwise threatning to break in▪ But if those in the house knew their own Strength, it were easie to keep them out. See­ing the doors are Threatning Proof, & it is not the breath of their Oathes can blow the [...]ocks open. Yet silly Souls being affrighted, they obey, and betray themselves to their Violence. Thus Satan serves me, or rather thus I [Page 39] serve my self. When I cannot be forced I am fool'd out of my Integrity. He cannot Constrain, if I do not Consent▪ If I do but keep Possession, all the Posse of Hell, can­not violently eject me: But I cowardly sur­render to his Sum­mons. Thus there needs no more to my undoing, but my self.

XVI.

WHen I am to Travell, I ne­ver use to pro­vide my self, till the very Tyme; Partly out of Lazinesse, loath to be troubled till needs I must, partly out of Pride, as pre­suming all necessaries for my Journey will wait upon me at the instant. (Some say this is Schollers fashi­on, [Page 41] and it seemes by following it, I hope to approve my self to be one) However, it often comes to passe, that my Journey is fi­nally stopt, through the Narrownesse of the Time to provide for it. Grant, Lord, that my confess'd Im­providence in Tem­porall, may make me suspect my Provi­dence in Spituall Mat­ters. Eccles. 12.5. Salomon saith, Man goeth to his long [Page 42] Home. Short Prepa­ration will not fit so long a Journey. O! let me not put it off to the last, to have my Mat. 25.10. Oile to buy, when I am to burn it. But let me so dispose of my self, that when I am to dye, I may have nothing to do but to dye.

XVII.

WHen in any wri­ting, I have occa­sion [Page 43] to insert these pas­sages, God willing, God lending me life, &c. I ob­serve, Lord, that I can scarce hold my hand from incircling these words in a Paren­thesis, as if they were not Essentiall to the Sentence, but may as well be left out, as put in. Whereas indeed they are not onely of the Commission at large, but so of the Quorum, that without them all the rest is nothing, [Page 44] wherefore hereafter, I will write those words fully and faire­ly without any Inclo­sure about them. Let Criticks censure it for bad Grammer, I am sure it is good Divi­nity.

XVIII.

MAny temporall Matters, which I have desired, thou hast denyed me. It vext me for the pre­sent, [Page 45] that I wanted my will. Since, con­sidering in cold blood, I plainly per­ceive, had that which I desired been done, I had been undone. Yea, what thou gavest me, instead of those things which I wish­ed, though lesse tooth­some to me, were more wholsome for me. Forgive, I pray, my former Anger, and now accept my hum­ble thanks. Lord [Page 46] grant me one suite, which is this? Deny me all suits which are bad for me, when I Petition for what is unfitting, O let the King of Heaven, make use of his Negative Voice. Rather let me fast then have Num. 11.33. Quailes given with intent that I should be choaken in eating them.

XIX.

THis day I disputed with my self, whe­ther or no I had said my Prayers this Morning; And I could not call to mind any remarkable Passage, whence I could certainly con­clude that I had offer­ed my Prayers unto thee. Frozen Affecti­ons, which left no Spark of Remem­brance [Page 48] behind them. Yet at last I hardly re­covered one Token, whence I was assured that I had said my Prayers. It seems I had said them, and onely said them, rather by heart then with my heart. Can I hope that thou wouldest Re­member my Prayers, when I had almost for­gotten that I had pray­ed? Or rather have I not Cause to fear, that thou remembrest my [Page 49] Prayers too well, to punish the Coldnesse and Badnesse of them? Alas, are not Devoti­ons thus done, in ef­fect left undone. Well Gen. 43.12. Iacob advised his Sonnes, at their second going into Egypt, Take double Money in your hand; perad­venture it was an O­versight. So, Lord, I come with my second Morning Sacrifice: Be pleased to accept it, which I desire, and [Page 50] endeavour to present, with a little better De­votion, then I did the former.

XX.

THe motions of thy Holy Spirit, were formerly fre­quent in my heart. But, alas, of late they have been great Stran­gers. It seems they did not like their last entertainment, they are so loath to come [Page 51] again. I fear they were Ephes. 4 3. grieved, that either I heard them not attentively, or be­leeved them not faith­fully, or practised them not Conscionably. If they be pleased to come again, this is all I dare promise, that they do deserve, and I do desire they should be well used. Let thy holy Spirit be pleased, not onely to stand before the door and Revel. 3.20. knock, but also to come [Page 52] in. If I do not open the door, it were too unreasonable to re­quest such a Miracle to come in, when the doors were shut, as thou did'st to the Ioh. 20.19. Apostles. Yet let me humbly beg of thee, that thou wouldest make the Iron Gate of my heart open of it's own Acts 12.10. accord. Then let thy Spirit be pleased to sup in my heart, I have given it an Invi­tation, and I hope I [Page 53] shall give it room. But O thou that sendest the Guest, send the Meat also, and if I be so unmannerly, as not to make the holy Spirit Welcome, O! let thy effectuall Grace, make me to make it welcome.

XXI.

I Confesse this Morning I remem­bred my Breakfast, but forgot my Pray­ers. [Page 54] And as I have returned no praise, so thou mightest justly have afforded me no Protection. Yet thou hast carefully kept me to the middle of this day, and intrusted me with a new debt, before I have paid the Old Score. It is now Noon, too late for a Morning, too soon for an Evening Sacrifice. My Cor­rupt Heart prompts me to put off my [Page 55] Prayers till night, But I know it too well, or rather too ill to trust it. I fear, if till night I deferre them, at night I shall forget them. Be pleased therefore now to accept them▪ Lord let not a few hours the later, make a breach: Especially seeing (be it spoken, not to excuse my Neg­ligence but to implore thy Pardon) a thou­sand yeers in thy sight [Page 56] are but as yesterday. I promise hereafter by thy Assistance to bring forth fruit in due Season. See how I am ashamed the Sun should shine on me, who now newly start in the Race of my Devotions, when he like a Gyant hath run more then half his Course in the Hea­vens.

XXII.

THis day casually I am fallen into a bad company, & know not how I came hither or how to get hence. Sure I am, not my Im­providence hath run me, but thy Provi­dence hath led me in­to this Danger. I was not wandring in any base by-path, but walking in the high way of my Vocation. [Page 58] wherefore, Lord, thou that calledst me hi­ther, keep me here. Stop their mouths that they speak no Blasphemy, or stop my ears that I hear none; or open my mouth soberly to re­prove what I hear. Give me to Guard my self, but Lord Guard my Guarding of my self. Let not the smoak of their Bad­nesse, put out my eyes, but the shining of my [Page 59] Innocence lighten theirs. Let me give Physick to them, and not take Infection from them. Yea, make me the Better for their badnesse. Then shall their bad Company, be to me like the Dirt of Oysters, whose mud hath sope in it, and doth rather scour, then defile.

XXIII.

OFten have I thought with my self, I will sinne but this one Sinne more, and then I will repent of it, and of all the rest of my Sinnes to­gether. So Foolish was I, and Ignorant. As if I should be more able to pay my Debts, when I owe more: Or as if I should say, I will wound my friend [Page 61] once again, and then I will lovingly Shake hands with him. But what if my Friend will not Shake hands with me? Besides, can one Commit one Sin more, and but one Sinne more? Unclean Creatures went by Couples into the Gen. 7.2. Arke. Grant Lord, at this instant I may break off my Badnesse; Otherwise thou maist justly make the last Minute, wherein I do [Page 62] Sinne on Earth, to be the last Minute wherein I shall Sinne on Earth, and the first wherein thou might'st make me suffer in an­other place.

XXIIII.

THe Preacher this day came home to my heart. A left handed Gibeonite with his Iudges 20.16. Sling, hit not the Mark more sure, then he my Dar­ling [Page 63] Sinnes. I could find no fault with his Sermon, save onely that it had too much Truth. But this I quarrelled at, that he went farre from his Text to come close to me, and so was faulty himself in telling me of my faults. Thus they will creep out at small Crannies, who have a mind to escape, And yet I cannot de­ny, but that that which he spake, [Page 64] (though nothing to that Portion of Scrip­ture which he had for his Text) was accord­ing to the Proportion of Scripture. And is not thy Word in gene­rall the Text at Large of every Preacher? Yea, rather I should have Concluded, that if he went from his Text, thy goodnesse sent him to meet me. For without thy Gui­dance it had been im­possible for him so [Page 65] truly to have trac'd the intricate turnings of my deceitfull heart.

XXV.

BE pleased to shake my Clay Cottage, before thou throwest it down. May it totter a while, before it doth Tumble. Let me be summon'd before I am surpriz'd. Deliver me from Sudden Death. Not from Sudden Death, in respect of it [Page 66] self, for I care not how short my passage be, so it be safe. Ne­ver any weary Travel­ler Complained, that he came too soon to his Journeys end. But let it not be Sudden in respect of me. Make me alwayes ready to receive Death. Thus no Guest comes un­awares to him, who keeps a Constant Table.

I

IN the Parable of the four sorts of Ground whereon the Seed was sowen, the Matth. 13.8. last alone proved fruitfull. There, the bad were more then the good: But amongst the Ser­vants [Page 68] Two improved their Matth. 25.18. Talents, or Pounds, and Luke 19.20. One onely buried them. There the Good were more then the Bad. Again, amongst the ten Virgins, five were wise, and five Matth. 25.2. Fool­ish: There the Good and Bad were Equall. I see that concerning the number of the Saints, in Comparison to the Reprobates, no Certainty can be col­lected from these Pa­rables. [Page 69] Good Reason, for it is not their Prin­cipall purpose to med­dle with that point. Grant that I may ne­ver rack a Scripture Similie, beyond the true intent thereof. Lest instead of Suck­ing Milk, I squeez Blood out of it.

II.

THou didst intend from all Eternity, to make Christ the [Page 70] Heire of all. No dan­ger of disinheriting him, thy onely Sonne, and so well deserving. Yet thou sayest to him. Psal. 2.8. Aske of me and I will give thee, the Hea­then for thine inheri­tance, &c. This Ho­mage he must do, for thy Boon to beg it. I see thy goodnesse delights to have thy favours sued for, ex­pecting we should crave, what thou in­tendest we shall have; [Page 71] That so, though we cannot give a full price, we may take some paines for thy favours, and obtain them, though not for the merit, by the Meanes of our Pe­titions.

III.

I Find that Ezekiel is in his Prophesies, stiled Ninety Times, and more, by this Ap­pellation, Sonne of [Page 72] man, and yet surely, not once oftner then there was need for. For he had more Visi­ons then any one (not to say then all) of the Prophets of his Time. It was necessary there­fore, that his Mortall Extraction should often be sounded in his Eares, Sonne of man, lest his frequent Conversing with Visi­ons, might make him mistake himself, to be some Angell. A­mongst [Page 73] other Revela­tions, it was therefore needfull, to reveale him to himself; Sonne of man, lest seeing many Visions might have made him blind with spirituall Pride. Lord, as thou increas­est thy Graces in me, and Favours on me, so with them daily in­crease in my soul the Monitors, and Re­membrancers of my Mortal [...]ty. So shall my Soul be kept in a [Page 74] good Temper, and humble deportment towards thee.

IV.

I Read how Gen. 28 22. Iacob (then onely accom­panied with his staffe) vowed at Bethell, that if thou gavest him but Bread and Rayment, he would make that place thy House. After his re­turn, the Condition on thy side, was over­performed, but the [Page 75] Obligation on his part, wholy neglected: For when thou hadst made his Staffe to swell, and to break in­to two Bands, he, after his return, turn'd Gen. 33 19. Purchaser, bought a field in Shalem, intend­ing there to set up his rest. But thou art pleased to be his Re­membrancer in a new Vision, and to spur him afresh, who tired in his Promise. Gen. 35 1. Arise, go to Bethell and make [Page 76] there an Altar, &c. Lord, if rich Iacob forgot what poor Iacob did promise, no wonder if I be bounti­full to offer thee, in my affliction, what I am niggardly to per­form in my Prosperi­ty. But O! take not advantage of the for­feitures, but be pleas­ed to demand Pay­ment once againe. Pinch me into the Remembrance of my promises, that so I [Page 77] may reinforce my old Vows with new Re­solutions.

V.

I Read when our Saviour was ex­amined in the High Priests Hall, that Pe­ter stood without, till Iohn (being his Iohn. 18.16. Spokes-man to the Maid that kept the door) procured his Admission in. Iohn meant to let him out [Page 78] of the Cold, and not to let him in to a Temptation, but his Courtesie in Intenti­on, prov'd a mischief in Event, and the Oc­casion of his denying his Master. O let never my Kindnesse concurre in the Re­motest degree, to the dammage of my friend. May the Chain which I sent him for an Ornament, never prove his Fet­ters. But if I should [Page 79] be unhappy herein, I am sure thou wilt not Punish my Good will, but pitty my ill successe.

VI.

THe Apostle saith to the 1 Cor. 10.13. Corinthi­ans, God will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able. But how comes he to Contradict himself, by his own Confessi­on, in his next Epistle? [Page 80] Where, speaking of his own sicknesse, he saith, 2 Cor. 1 8. We were pressed out of Measure above strength. Perchance this will be expound­ed by propounding another Riddle of the same Apostles: Who praising Rom. 4.18. Abraham, saith, that against hope, he beleeved in hope. That is, against Carnall Hope, he beleeved in Spirituall Hope. So the same wedge, will serve to cleave the for­mer [Page 81] difficulty. Paul was pressed above his Human, not above his Heavenly Strength. Grant Lord, that I may not mangle, and dismember thy Word, but study it intirely, comparing one Place with another: For Diamonds onely can cut Diamonds, and no such Comments on the Scripture, as the Scripture.

VII.

I Observe that the vulgar Translati­on, reads the Apostles Precept thus, 2 Pet. 1 10. Give diligence to make your Calling, and Election sure by Good Works. But in our English Testaments these words by Good Works are left out. It grieved me at the first to see our Translation defective, but it of­fended [Page 83] me afterwards, to see the other Re­dundant. For those words are not in the Greek, which is the Originall. And it is an ill work, to put Good Works in, to the Corruption of the Scripture. Grant, Lord, that though we leave Good Woorks out in the Text, we may take them in, in our Comment. In that Exposition which our Practice is to make [Page 84] on this Precept, in our Lives and Con­versations.

VIII.

I Find the Genealo­gie of my Matth. 1.7, 8. Saviour, strangely Chequer­ed with four remark­able Changes in four immediate Generati­ons.

• 1 Rehoboham begat Abiam ▪ that is, a [Page 85] bad Father, be­gat a bad Son.
• 2 Abiam begat Asa; that is, a bad Father, a good Sonne.
• 3 Asa begat Iehosa­phat; that is, a good Father a good Sonne.
• 4 Iehosaphat begat Ioram; that is, a good Father, a bad Sonne.

I see Lord, from hence that my Fathers Piety cannot be en­tailed; [Page 86] that's bad News for me. But I see also, that Actuall Impiety is not always hereditary; that's good News for my Sonne.

IX.

WHen in my daily Service I read Davids Psalmes, Give me to alter the Accent of my soul, ac­cording to their seve­rall Subjects: In such Psalmes, wherein he [Page 87] confesseth his Sinnes, or requesteth thy Par­don or praiseth for former, or prayeth for future favours, in all these give me to raise my soul to as high a pitch as may be. But when I come to such Psalms, wherein he curseth his Enemies, O there let me bring my soul down to a lower note. For those words were made only to fit Davids mouth▪ I have the like breath, [Page 88] but not the same Spi­rit to pronounce them. Nor let me flatter my self, that it is lawfull for me, with David, to curse thine Enemies, lest my deceitfull heart intitle all mine Enemies to be Thine, and so what was Religion in David, prove Malice in me, whil'st I act Revenge under the Pretence of Piety.

X.

I Read of the two Witnesses, Rev. 11 7. And when they shall have finished their Testimony, the Beast that ascendeth out of the bottomlesse Pit, shall make Warre against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them. They could not be kil'd whil'st they were doing, but when they had done their worke, during [Page 90] their imployment they were invincible. No better Armour against the darts of Death, then to be bu­sied in thy Service. Why art thou so hea­vie, O my soul? No Malice of man can Antidate my end a Minute, whil'st my maker hath any work for me to do. And when all my daily task is ended, why should I grudge then to go to Bed?

XI.

I Read at the Trans­figuration that Matth. 17.1. Pe­ter, Iames, and Iohn, were admitted to be­hold Christ; but An­drew was excluded. So again at the revi­ving of the daughter of the ruler of the Mark. 5.37. Sy­nagogue, these three were let in, and An­drew shut out. Lastly, in the Mark. 14.33. Agony, the aforesaid three, were [Page 92] called to be witnesses thereof and still An­drew left behind. Yet he was Peters Brother, and a good man, and an Apostle, why did not Christ take the two pair of Brothers? was it not pitty to part them? But me thinks I seem more offended thereat, then Andrew himself was, whom I find to expresse no dis­content, being pleased to be accounted a loy­all Subject for the ge­nerall, [Page 93] though he was no favourite in these particulars. Give me to be pleased in my self, and thankfull to thee, for what I am, though I be not equall to others in personall perfections. For such peculiar Pri­viledges are Courte­sies from thee when given, and no Injuries to us when denyed.

XII.

Saint Paul teacheth the Art of heaven­ly thrift, how to make a new Sermon of an Old. Many ( Phil. 3.18. saith he) walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you weeping, that they are Enemies to the Crosse of Christ. For­merly he had told it with his Tongue, but now with his Tears, formerly he taught it [Page 95] with his words, but now with his weep­ing. Thus new affe­ctions make an old Sermon new. May I not, by the same pro­portion, make an old Prayer new? Lord, thus long I have offer­ed my Prayer drye unto thee, now, Lord, I offer it wet. Then wilt thou own some new Addition there­in, when, though the Sacrifice be the same, yet the dressing of it, [Page 96] is different, being steep't in his Tears, who bringeth it unto thee.

XIII.

I Read of my Savi­our, That when he was in the wilder­nesse, Matth. 4.11. then the Devill leaveth him, and behold Angels came and Mi­nistred unto him. A great change in a little time. No twilight betwixt [Page 97] night and day. No Purgatory-condition betwixt Hell and Heaven, but instantly, when Out Devill, In Angell. Such is the Case of every solitary Soul. It will make Company for it self. A musing mind will not stand Neuter a Minute, but presently side with Legions of good or bad thoughts. Grant therefore, that my soul, which ever will have some, [Page 98] may never have bad Company.

XIV.

I Read how Cushi, and Ahimaaz ran a Race, who first should bring Tidings of Victory to David▪ Ahimaaze, though last setting forth, came first to his Journeys end; Not that he had the fleeter feet, but the better brains, to chuse the way of most [Page 99] advantage. For the Text 2 Sam. 18.23. saith, So Ahi­maaz ranne by the way of the Plain, and over­went Cushi. Prayers made to God by Saints, fetch a need­lesse compasse about. That is but a rough and un-even way. Be­sides one Steep Pas­sage therein, question­able whether it can be climbed up, and Saints in Heaven, made sensible of what we say on Earth. The [Page 100] way of the plain, or plain way, both short­est, & surest is, Call up­on me, in the time of Trouble. Such Prayers, (though starting last) will come first to the Mark.

XV.

THis morning, I read a Chapter in the Bible, and therein observ'd a memorable Passage, whereof I never took [Page 101] notice before. Why now, and no sooner did I see it? Formerly, my Eyes were as open, and the Letters as Le­gible. Is there not a thin Vaile laid over thy Word, which is more rarified by Reading, and at last wholly worn away? Or was it because I came with more appe­tite then before? The Milk was alwayes there in the brest, but the Child till now [Page 102] was not Hungry e­nough to find out the Teat. I see the Oile of thy Word will never leave Increasing whil'st any bring an empty Barrell. The Old Testament, will still be a New Testa­ment to him, who comes with a fresh desire of Information.

XVI.

AT the first Exod. 12.41. Passeover, God [Page 103] kept touch with the Hebrews very Punctually: At the end of the four hundred and thirty yeers, in the self same day it came to passe, that all the Hosts of the Lord went out of the Land of Egypt. But at the first Easter God was better then his word. Having pro­mised, that Christ should lye but three dayes in the Grave, his Fatherly Affection did runne to relieve [Page 104] him. By a Charita­ble Synechdoche, two pieces of dayes were counted for whole ones. God did cut the work short in Rom. 9.28. righte­ousnesse. Thus the Measure of his Mercy under the Law was full, but it ranne over in the Gospell.

XVII.

THe Heb. 13 5. Apostle di­swadeth the He­brews from Covetous­nesse, [Page 105] with this Ar­gument, because God said, I will not leave thee, nor forsake thee. Yet I find not, that God ever gave this Promise to all the Jews, but he spake it onely to Iosh. 1.5. Ioshua when first made Command­er against the Canaa­nites. Which, (with­out violence to the Anallogie of faith) the Apostle applyeth to all good men in ge­nerall. Is it so that [Page 106] we are Heirs apparant to all promises made to thy Servants in Scripture. Are the Charters of Grace granted to them, good to me? Then Will I say with Iacob Gen. 45 28. I have enough. But because I cannot intitle my self to thy promises to them, except I immi­tate their piety to thee; Grant I may take as much Care in follow­ing the one, as Com­fort by applying the oth [...]r.

XVIII.

I Read that thou didst make Gen. 1.12. Grasse, Hearbs, & Trees, the third day. As for the Sunne, Gen. 1.16. Moon, and Stars, thou madest them on the fourth day of the Creation. Thus at first thou didst confute the fol­ly of such, who main­tain that all Vegeta­bles in their growth, are inslaved to a Ne­cessary, [Page 108] and unavoid­able dependance on the Influences of the Starres. Whereas Plants were even when Planets were not. It is false, that the Mary-gold fol­lows the Sunne, whereas rather the Sunne follows the Mary-gold, as made the day before him. Hereafter I will ad­mire thee more, and fear Astrologers lesse; Not affrighted with [Page 109] their dolefull predi­ctions of Dearth and Drowth, collected from the Complexi­ons of the Planets. Must the Earth of Necessity be Sad, be­cause some ill-natured Starre is Sullen? as if the Grasse Could not grow without asking it leave. Whereas thy power, which made Hearbs, before the Starres, can pre­serve them without their propitions, yea, [Page 110] against their Malig­nant Aspects.

XIX.

I Read how Paul writing from Rome, spake to Phile­mon. verse 22. Philemon, to prepare him a lodg­ing hoping to make use thereof, yet we find not, that he ever did use it, being Mar­tyred not long after. However he was no loser, whom thou didst lodge in a higher [Page 111] Mansion in Heaven. Let me alwayes be thus deceived to my Advantage. I shall have no Cause to Complain, though I never wear the new Cloaths fitted for me, if, before I put them on, death cloath me with Glorious Im­mortality.

XX.

WHen our Savi­our sent his A­postles [Page 112] abroad to Preach, he enjoyned them in one Matth. 10.10. Gospell, Possesse nothing, neither Shooes, nor a staffe. But it is said in another Mark. 6.8. Gospell, And he com­manded them, that they should take nothing, for their Iourney, save a Staffe onely. The Reconciliation is ea­sie. They might have a Staffe, to speak them Travellours, not Souldiers: One to walk with, not to [Page 113] Warre with, a Staffe, which was a Wand, not a Weapon. But Oh! In how dolefull dayes do we live, wherein Ministers are not (as formerly) arm'd with their Nakednesse, but need Staves, and Swords too, to defend them from violence.

XXI.

I Discover an arrant Lazinesse in my [Page 114] Soul. For when I am to read a Chapter in thy Bible before I be­gin it, I look where it endeth. And if it endeth not on the same side, I cannot keep my hands, from turning over the leaf, to measure the length thereof on the other side; If it swels to ma­ny Verses I begin to grudge. Surely my heart is not rightly affected. Were I truly hungry after heavenly [Page 115] Food, I would not Complain of the greatest Messe of Meat. Scourge, Lord, this Lazinesse out of my Soul, make the reading of thy Word, not a Penance, but a Pleasure unto me. Teach me, that as amongst many heaps of Gold, all being e­qually pure, that is the best, which is the biggest, so I may esteem that Chapter in thy Word, the [Page 116] best that is the Longest.

XXII.

I Find David mak­ing a Syllogisme, in Mode and Figure, Two Propositions he perfected.

Now I expected that David should have Concluded thus: ‘Therefore I regard not wickednesse in my heart.’

But farre otherwise he Concludes.

Thus David hath deceived, but not [Page 118] wronged me. I look't that he should have clapt the Crown on his own, and he puts it on Gods Head. I will learn this Excel­lent Logick, For I like Davids better then Aristotles Syllogismes, That whatsoever the Premisses be, I make Gods Glory the Con­clusion.

XXIII.

WIse Pro. 30 9. Agur made it his wish, Give me not poverty, lest I steal, & take the Name of my God in vain. He saith not, Lest I steal, and be caught in the manner, and then be stockt or whipt, or branded, or forc'd to four fold Restitution, or put to any other shamefull, or painfull punishment. But he [Page 120] saith, lest I steal, and take the name of my God in vain, That is, lest professing to serve thee, I confute a good Profession, with a Bad Conversation. Thus thy Children count Sinne to be the greatest Smart in Sin, as being more sensi­ble of the wound they therein give to the glory of God, then of all the Stripes that man may lay upon them for punishment.

XXIV.

I Read that when my Saviour dispos­sessed the Mans Mark. 9.25. Sonne of a Devill, he enjoyned the Evil Spi­rit to come out of him, and enter no more into him. But I find that when my Saviour himself was tempted of Luke. 4.13. Satan, the Devill departed from him but for a Sason. Retreat­ing, as it seemes, with [Page 122] mind to return. How came it to passe, Lord, that he who expell'd him finally out of others, did not propell him so from himself. Sure it doth not fol­low, that because he did not, he could not do it. Or that he was lesse able to help him­self, because he was more Charitable to re­lieve others. No, I see my Saviour was pleas­ed to shew himself a God in other mens [Page 123] matters, and but a Man in such cases wherein he himself was concerned. Being contented still to be tempted by Satan, that his Suffering for us, might cause our Conquering through him.

XXV.

IAnnes and 2 Tim. 3.8. Iambres the Apes of Moses and Aaron, immitated them in turning their [Page 124] Rods into Serpents; Onely here was the difference: Aarons Exod. 7.12. Rod devoured their Rods. That which was Solid and Sub­stantiall lasted, when that which was slight, and but seeming, va­nished away. Thus an Active Fancie in all outward expressi­ons may immitate a lively Faith. For mat­ter of Language, there is nothing what Grace doth do, but Wit can [Page 125] Act. Onely the diffe­rence appears in the Continuance: Wit is but for fits and flashes, Grace holds out, and is lasting; And, Good Lord of thy Good­nesse, give it to every one that truly desires it.

I

THe English Em­bassadour some yeers since, prevailed so farre with the Turkish Emperour, as to perswade him to hear some of our Eng­lish Musick, from which (as from all [Page 127] other liberal Sciences) both He & his Nation were naturally averse. But it happned that the Musitians were so long in tuning their Instruments, that the Great Turk distasting their Tedi­ousnesse, went away in discontent, before their Musick began. I am affraid, that the differences, and dis­sentions betwixt Christian Churches, (being so long in [Page 128] reconciling their dis­cords) will breed in Pagans, such a dis­relish of our Religi­on, as they will not be invited to attend thereunto.

II.

A Sibill came to Tarquinius super­bus King of Rome, and * M. Varro, So­linus, Plinius, Halicar. &c. offered to sell unto him three Tomes of her Oracles: But He, counting the price [Page 129] too high, refused to buy them. Away she went, and burnt one Tome of them. Re­turning, she asketh him, whether he would buy the two remaining at the same Rate; He refuseth again, counting her little better then frantick. Thereupon She burns the second Tome. And peremp­torily asked him, whe­ther he would give the Summe demand­ed [Page 130] for the all three, for the one Tome re­maining; Otherwise she would burn that also, and He would dearly repent it. Tar­quin, admiring at her constant Resolution, and conceiving some extraordinary worth contained therein, gave her Her De­mand. There are three Volumes of M [...]ns Time; Youth, Mans Estate, and Old Age; and Mini­sters [Page 131] advise them, Ephes. 5.16. redeem this Time. But men conceive the Rate they must give, to be unreasonable, because it will cost them the Renoun­cing of their Carnall Delights. Hereupon one Third Part of their Life (Youth) is consumed in the fire of Wantonnesse. A­gain, Ministers Coun­sell men to redeem the remaining Volumes of their Life. They are [Page 132] but derided at for their pa [...]nes. And Mans Estate is also cast away in the smoak of Vanity. But Preachers ought to presse peremptorily on old People, to re­deem, now, or never, the last Volume of their Life. Here is the difference: The Sibill still demanded but the same Rate for the rem [...]ining Book; But aged Folk (because of their custom in sin­ing) [Page 133] will find it hard­er and dearer, to re­deem this, the last Vo­lume, then if they had been Chapmen for all three at the first.

III.

IN Merianith Shire in Giral­dus Cam­brensis. & Camb­der, in the descripti­on of th [...]t shire. Wales, there be many Mountains whose hanging Top come so close toge­ther, that shepheards, sitting on severall [Page 134] Mountains may au­dibly discourse one with another. And yet they must go ma­ny miles, before their Bodies can meet to­gether, by the reason of the vast hollow Valleys which are be­twixt them. Our So­veraign, and the Members of his Par­liament, at London, seem very neer agreed, in their Generall and Publike Professions; Both are for the Pro­testant [Page 135] Religion; Can they draw neerer? Both are for the Pri­viledges of Parliament; Can they come closer? Both are for the Li­berty of the Subject; Can they meet Evener? And yet, alas, there is a great Gulf, and vast distance betwixt them which our sinnes have made, and God grant that our Sorrow may seasonably make it up again.

IV.

WHen Iohn, King of France, had Communicated the Order of the Knight­hood of the Star, to some of his Guard, Men of mean Birth and Extraction, the Nobility ever after disdained to be admit­ted into that degree, and so that Order in France, was extin­guished. Seeing that [Page 137] now adayes, drinking, and Swea [...]ing, and Wantonnesse, are grown frequent, even with base beggerly People, It is high Time, for men of Honour, who Con­sult with their Credit, to desist from such sinnes. Not that I would have Noble Men, invent New vices, to be in Fashi­on with themselves alone: But forsake Old Sinnes, grown [Page 138] common with the meanest of People.

V.

LOng was this Land wasted with Civill Warre, be­twixt the two Houses of York and Lan­caster, till the red Rose became white with the Blood it had lost, and the white Rose, Red, with the Blood it had shed. At last, They were united in a hap­py [Page 139] Marriage, and their joynt-Titles are [...]wisted together in our Gracious Sove­raign. Thus there hath been a Great dif­ference betwixt learn­ed Men, wherein the dominion over the Crea­ture is founded. Some putting it in Nature, others placing it in Grace. But the true Servants of God have an unquestioned Right thereunto. See­ing both Nature and [Page 140] Grace, the first and Second Adam, Creati­on, and Regeneration are contained in them. Hence their Claime is so clear, their Title is so true, Ignorance cannot doubt it, Im­pudence dare not de­ny it.

VI.

THe Roman Sena­tors conspired a­gainst Iulius Caesar to kill him: That very [Page 141] next morning Artemi­do [...]us, Plu­tarch. in Iul. Caesar. Caesar's friend, delivered him a Pa­per, (desiring him to peruse it,) wherein the whole plot was discovered: But Caesar complemented his life away, being so taken up, to return the salutations of such People as met him in the way, that he pocketed the Paper, among other Petiti­ons, as unconcerned therein, and so going [Page 142] to the Senate house, was slain. The World, Flesh, and Devill have a designe for the destruction of men. We Ministers, bring our People a Letter, Gods Word, wherein all the Con­spiracy is revealed. But who hath believed our Report? Most men are so busie about worldly de­lights, they are not at leisure to listen to us, or read the Letter, but [Page 143] thus, alas, runne head­long to their own Ruine and Destructi­on.

VII.

IT is reported of Philip the Second, King of Spain, That besieging the Town of St. Quintine, and being to make a breach, he was forced with his Cannon to batter down a small Chappell on the [Page 144] Wall, dedicated to Saint Laurence. In Re­paration to which Saint, he afterwards built and Consecrated unto him that famous Chappell in the Esca­riall in Spain, for workmanship, one of the wonders in the World. How many Churches and Chap­pels of the God of Saint Laurence, have been laid waste in England, by this wofull Warre. And which is [Page 145] more, (and more to be lamented) how many living Temples of the Holy Ghost, Christian People, have therein been causelesly and cruelly destroyed. How shall our Nati­on be ever able to make Recompence for it. God of his Goodnesse forgive us that Dept which we of our selves are not able to satisfie.

VIII.

IN the dayes of King Sir Iohn Hey­wood▪ in the life of Edward the 6. Edward the sixt, the L. Protector march't with a Powerfull Army into Scotland, to demand their young Queen Mary in Mar­riage to our King, ac­cording to their Pro­mises. The Scotch refusing to do it, were beaten by the English in Musl [...]borough fight. One demanded of a [Page 147] Scotch Lord, (taken Prisoner in the Bat­tell) Now Sir, how do you like our Kings Marriage with your Queen. I alwayes, (quoth he) did like the Marriage, But I do not like the wooing, that you should fetch a Bride with Fire and Sword. It is not en­ough for men to pro­pound Pious Proj [...]cts to themselves, if they go about by indirect Courses to compasse [Page 148] them. Gods own Work must be done by Gods own wayes. Otherwise we can take no Comfort in obtaining the end, if we cannot justifie the means used thereunto.

IX.

A Sagamore, or petty King in Virginia, guessing the Greatnesse of other Kings by his own, sent a Native hither, who [Page 149] understood English. Commanding him to score upon a Long Cane (given him of Purpose to be his Re­gister) the number of English men, that thereby his Master might know the strength of this our Nation. Landing at Plimouth, a Populous Place, (and which he mistook for all Eng­land) he had no leisure to eat, for notching up the men he met. At [Page 150] Exeter, the difficulty of his Task was increas­ed; Coming at last to London (that Forest of People) he brake his Cane in Pieces, per­ceiving the impossi­bility of his imploy­ment. Some may con­ceive that they can reckon up the Sinnes they commit in one day. Perchance they may make hard Shifts to Summe up their notorious ill deeds: More difficult it is, to [Page 151] score up their wicked words. But O how infinite are their idle thoughts! High Time then, to leave off counting, and cry out with Psal. 19.12. David, Who can tell how oft he offendeth, Lord cleanse me from my secret sinnes.

X.

MArtin de Golin, Mun­sters Cos­mography 3. Book. Page 878 Master of the Teutonick Order, was taken Prisoner by the Prusians, and de­livered [Page 152] bound, to be beheaded. But he per­swaded his Execu­tioner (who had him alone) first to take off his Costly Cloaths, which otherwise would be spoil'd with the sprinckling of his Blood. Now the Pri­soner, being partly un­bound, to be un­cloath'd, and finding his Arms somewhat loos'ned, strake the Executioner to the Ground, kil'd him [Page 153] afterwards with his own sword, and so regained both his life and Liberty. Iohn 16 33. Christ hath Overcome the World, and delivered it to Us, to destroy it. But we are all Achans by Nature; and the Babylonish Garment is a Bait for our Co­vetousnesse: Whil'st therefore we seek to take the Plunder of this World's Ward­robe, we let go the Mastery we had for­merly [Page 154] of it. And too often, that which Christ's Passion made our Captive, our Folly makes our Conque­rour.

XI.

I Read how Pope Camb­den Brit: in Kent. Pius the fourth, had a great Ship richly Loaden, Land­ded at Sandwich in Kent, where it sudden­ly sunck, and so, with the Sands, choaked up the Harbour, that ever [Page 155] since that place hath been deprived of the benefit thereof. I see that happinesse, doth not alwayes attend the Adventures of his Holinesse. Would he had carried away his Ship, and left us our Harbour. May his Spirituall Merchan­dize never come more into this Island, But rather sinck in Tiber, then Saile thus farre, bringing so small Good, and so great [Page 156] Annoyance. Sure he is not so happy in opening the doors of Heaven, as he is un­happy to obstruct Havens on Earth.

XII.

Gualterus Mappaeus de nugis Curiali­um. IEffery Arch-Bishop of York, and base Son to King Henry the second, used proudly to protest by his faith, and the Royalty of the King his Father. To whom one said, You may sometimes, Sir, [Page 157] as well remember what was the honesty of your Mother. Good men when puffed up with Pride, for their heavenly Extraction, and Paternall descent, how they are Gods Sonnes by Adoption, may seasonably call to mind, the Corruption which they carry a­bout them. Iob. 17.14. I have said to the worm, thou art my Mother. And this Considera­tion, will temper their [Page 158] Soules with humility.

XIII.

I Could both Sigh, and Smile, at the Simplicity of a Native American, sent by a Spaniard, his Master, with a Basket of Figgs, and a Letter (wherein the Figgs were mentioned) to carry them both to one of his Masters friends. By the way, this Messenger eat up the Figgs, but de­livered [Page 159] the Letter, whereby his deed was discovered, and he soundly punished. Be­ing sent a Second Time on the like Mes­sage, he first took the Letter (which he con­ceived had Eyes, as well as a Tongue) and hid it in the Ground, sitting himself on the place where he put it; and then securely fell to feed on his Figgs, presuming that that Paper which saw no­thing, [Page 160] could tell no­thing. Then taking it again out of the ground, he delivered it to his Masters Friend, whereby his fault was perceiv'd, and he worse beaten then before. Men Conceive they can manage their sinnes with Secresie. But they carry about them a Letter, or Book ra­ther, written by Gods Finger, their Rom. 2.15. Consci­ence, bearing witnesse [Page 161] to all their Actions. But sinners being often detected and ac­cused, hereby grow wary at last, and to prevent this speaking Paper for telling any Tales, do Smother, Stifle and Suppresse it, when they go about the Committing of any Wickednesse. Yet Conscience, (though buried for a time in Silence,) hath after­wards a Resurrection, and discovers all to [Page 162] their greater Shame, and heavier Punish­ment.

XIV.

IOhn Courcy, Earl of Vlster in Ireland, en­deavoured fifteen se­verall Times, to saile over thither, and so often was beaten back again, with bad Wea­ther. At last he expo­stulated his Case with God in a Annales Hyber­nici, in Anno 1204. & Camb­dens Britt. pag. 797. Vision, Complaining of hard Measure, That having built and repaired so [Page 163] many Monasteries to God and his Saints, he should have so bad successe. It was an­swered him, That this was but his just Pu­nishment, because he had formerly put out the Image of the Law­fully I presume to apply a Popish Vision to confute a Popish Practice. Tri­nity, out of the Ca­thedrall Church of Down, and placed the picture of Saint Pa­trick in the room thereof. Surely, God will not hold them Guiltlesse, who justle [Page 164] him out of his Tem­ple, and give to Saints that Adoration, due alone to his divine Majesty.

XV.

THe Lybians kept all Woemen in Common. But when a Child was born, they used to send it to that Man to maintain (as Father thereof) whom the Infant most re­sembled in his Com­plexion. Satan and [Page 165] my sinfull Nature en­ter-Common in my soul, in the causing of Wicked Thoughts. The Sonnes by their Faces speak their Syres. Proud, Wan­ton, Covetous, En­vious, Idle thoughts, I must own to come from my self. God forgive me, it is vain to deny it, those Chil­dren are so like to their Father. But as for some hideous horri­ble Thoughts, such as [Page 166] I start at the Motion of them, being out of the Road of my Corruption, (and yet which way will not that wander?) So that they smell of Hells Brimstone about them: These fall to Satans lot to Father them. The Swarthy Blacknesse of their Complexion plainly shewes who begat them, not being of Mine Extraction, but His Injection.

XVI.

MArcus Manlius deserved exceed­ingly well of the Ro­man State, having valiantly defended their Capitol. But af­terward, falling into disfavour with the People, he was Con­demned to death. However the People would not be so un­thankfull as to su [...]fer him to be executed in any place, from [Page 168] whence the Capitoll might be beheld. For the Prospect thereof prompted them with fresh Remembrance of his former merits. At last, they found a low Place, in the Livie libro Sexto, Cap. 20. Petiline-Grove, by the River-Gate, where no Pinacle of the Ca­pitoll could be per­ceived, and there he was put to Death. We may admire how men can find in their hearts to sinne against [Page 169] God. For we can find no one place in the whole world, which is not markt with a Signall Character of his mercy unto us. It was said properly of the Jews, but is not untrue of all Christi­ans, that they are Gods Vineyard. And Isai. 5.2. God fenced it, and gathered out the Stones thereof, and planted it with the choisest Vine, and built a Tower in the middest thereof; and also digg'd a [Page 170] Wine-presse therein. Which way can men look, and not have their Eyes met with the Remembrance of Gods Favour unto them. Look about the Vineyard, it is fenced, look without it, the Stones are cast out; look within it, it is planted with the choisest Vine; look above it, a Tower is built in the midst thereof; look be­neath it, a Wine-presse is digg'd. It is impossi­ble [Page 171] for one to look any way, and to avoid the beholding of Gods Bounty. Ungratefull man! And as there is no place, so there is no time for us to sin, without being at that instant beholden to him. We owe to him that We are, even when we are Rebelli­ous against him.

XVII.

A Duell was to be fought, by con­sent [Page 172] of both Annales Hyber­nici, in Anno 1204. & Camb­dens Britt. pag. 797. Kings betwixt an English, and a French Lord. The aforesaid Iohn Courcy Earl of Vlster, was chosen Champi­on for the English: A Man of great Sto­mack and Strength, but lately much weak'ned by long Im­prisonment. Where­fore, to prepare him­self before hand, the King allowed him what Plenty and Va­riety of Meat, he was [Page 173] pleased to eat. But the Monsieur (who was to encounter him) hearing what great Quantity of Victuals Courcy did daily de­vour, and thence col­lecting his unusuall Strength, out of fear, refused to fight with him. If by the Stand­ard of their Cups, and Measure of their drinking, one might truly inferre Souldi­ers Strength by rules of Proportion, most [Page 174] vast, and valiant Atchievements, may justly be expected from some Gallants of of these times.

XIII.

I Have heard that the Brook neer Lutter­worth in Lestershire into which the Ashes of the burnt Bones of Wickliffe were cast. never since doth drown the Meadow about it. Papists ex­pound [Page 175] this to be, be­cause God was well pleased with the Sa­crifice of the Ashes of such a Heretick. Pro­testants ascribe it ra­ther to proceed from the vertue of the dust of such a Reverent Martyr. I see tis a Case for Friend. Such Accidents signifie no­thing in themselves, but according to the pleasure of Interpre­ters. Give me such Solid reasons, where­on [Page 176] I may rest and relye. Eccles. 10.11. Salomon saith, The words of the wise are like nailes, fastned by the Masters of the Assem­bly. A Naile is firm, and will hold driving in, and will hold dri­ven in. Send me such Arguments. As for these Waxen Topicall devises, I shall never think worse or better of any Religion for their Sake.

XIX.

ALexander the Plu­tarch. in the life of Alex. the Great. Great, when a Child, was check'd by his Governour Leoni­das, for being over­profuse in spending Perfumes: Because on a day, being to sa­crifice to the Gods, he took both his hands full of Frankinsence, and cast it into the fire. But afterwards, being a man, he con­quered the Countrey [Page 178] of Iudaea, (the Foun­taine, whence such Spices did flow) he sent Leonidas a Present of five hundred Ta­lents weight of Frank­incense, to shew him, how his former Pro­digality, made him thrive the better in Successe, and to advise him to be no more niggardy in Divine Service. Thus they that sow plentifully, shall reap plentifully, I see there is no such way [Page 179] to have a large heart, as to have a large heart. The free giving of the Branches of our pre­sent Estate to God, is the readiest means to have the Root in­creased for the future.

XX.

THe Poets Fable, that this was one of the Labours im­posed on Hercules, to make clean the Au­geian Stable, or Stall rather. For therein [Page 180] (they said) were kept three thousand Kine, and it had not been cleansed for thirty yeers together. But Hercules, by letting the River Alpheus in­to it, did that with ease, which before was conceived impos­sible. This Stall, is the pure Embleme of my impure Soul, which hath been de­filed with Millions of Sinnes, for more then thirty yeers together. [Page 181] Oh! that I might by a lively faith, and un­feigned repentance, let the Stream of that fountain into my soul, which is opened for Iuda and Ierusalem. It is im­possible by all my pains to purge out my uncleannesse. which is quickly done by the Rivolet of the Blood of my Saviour

XXI.

THe Venetians shewed the Trea­sure [Page 182] of their State, be­ing in many great Coffers, full of Gold and Silver to the Spa­nish Ambassadour. But the Ambassadour peeping under the bottome of those Cof­fers, demanded, Whe­ther that their Trea­sure did daily grow, and had a Root for such (saith he) my Masters Treasure hath, meaning both his In­dies. Many men have attained to a [Page 183] great height of Piety, to be very abundant & rich therein. But all theirs is but a Cistern, not Fountain-Grace, onely Gods Goodnesse hath a Spring of it self, in it self.

XXII.

THe Iustin. lib. 18. Pag. 196. Sidonian Servants agreed amongst themselves, to chuse him to be their King, who that morning, should first see the Sunne. Whil'st [Page 184] all others were gazing on the East, one alone lookt on the West; Some admir'd, more mock't him, as if he look't on the Feet, there to find the Eye of the Face. But he first of all discovered the light of the Sunne, Shining on the Tops of houses. God is seen sooner, easier, clearer in his Opera­tions, then in his Es­sence. Best beheld by Reflection in his [Page 185] Creatures. For the in­visible things of him, from the Creation of the [...]om. 1.20. World, are cleerly seen being understood by the things that are made.

XXIII.

AN Italian Prince, as much delight­ed with the Person, as grieved with the Pro­digality of his eldest Sonne; commanded his Steward to deliver him no more Money, but what the young [Page 186] Prince should tell his own self. The young Gallant fretted at his heart, that he must buy Money at so dear a Rate, as to have it for telling it. But, (be­cause there was no Remedy) he set him­self to his Task, and being greatly tired with telling a small Summe, he brake off into this Considerati­on. Money may spee­dily be spent, but how te­dious, and troublesome [Page 187] is it to tell it. And by Consequence how much more difficult to get it. Men may Commit sinne presently, plea­santly, with much Mirth, in a Moment. But O that they would but seriously consider with them­selves how many their offences are, and sad­ly fall a counting them. And if so hard truly to summe their sinnes, sure harder sincerely to sorrow [Page 188] for them. If to get their number be so difficult, what is it to get their Pardon?

XXIV.

I Know the Village in Cambridge-shire, Coten­ham. wherein there was a Crosse, full of Ima­gery; Some of the Images were such, as that People, not foolishly factious, but judiciously conscien­tious, took just excep­tion at them. Hard by, [Page 189] the Youths of the Town erected a May­pole, and to make it of Proof, against any that should endeavour to cut it down, they armed it with Iron, as high as any could reach. A violent Wind happened to blow it down, which falling on the Crosse, dashed it to pieces. It is possible, what is Counted Propha­nesse, may accidental­ly correct Superstiti­on. [Page 190] But I could heartily wish that all pretenders to Refor­mation, would first labour to be good themselves, before they go about the amending of Others.

XXV.

I Read that Aegaeus the Father of Plu­tarch. in Theseo The­seus hid a Sword, & a paire of Shooes, un­der a great Stone. And left word with his wife, (whom he left [Page 191] with Child) that when the Sonne she should bear, was able to take up that Stone, weild that Sword, and wear those Shooes, then she should send him to him. For by these Signes, he would own him for his own Sonne. Christ hath left in the Custody of the Church, our Mo­ther, the Sword of the Spirit, and the Shooes of a Christian Con­versation, the same, [Page 192] which he once wore himself, and they must fit our Feet, yea, and we must take up the weight of many hea­vy Crosses, before we can come at them. But when we shall appear before our Heavenly Father, bringing these Tokens with us, then, and not before, he will acknowledge us to be no Bastards but his True-born Chil­dren.

I.

WHen I look on a Leaden Bul­let, therein I can read both Gods Mercy, and Mans Malice. Gods Mercy, whose Provi­dence foreseeing, that men, of Lead, would [Page 194] make Instruments of Cruelty, didst give that mettall a Medici­nall Vertue; As it hurts, so it also heals; and a Bullet sent in by mans Hatred into a fleshly and no Vitall Part, will (with or­dinary Care and Cu­ring) out of a naturall Charity, work it's own way out. But Oh! how devillish were those men, who, to frustrate and defeat his Goodnesse, and to [Page 195] Countermand the healing power of Lead, first found the Champing and Im­poysoning of Bullets. Fools, who accompt themselves honour­ed with the shamefull Title of being the Inventors of Evill Rom. 1.30. Things, indeavouring to Out-infinite Gods Kindnesse, with their Cruelty.

II.

I Have heard some Men (rather cause­lessely Captious, then judiciously Criticall) cavil at Grammarians, for calling some Con­junctions, Disjunctive, as if this were a flat Contradiction. Whereas, indeed, the same Particle may conjoyn words, and yet disjoyn the sence. But alas, how sad is the present condition [Page 197] of Christians, who have a Communion, disuniting. The Lords Supper, ordained by our Saviour to con­joyn our Affections, hath disjoyned our Judgements. Yea, it is to be feared, lest our long quarrels about the manner of his Pre­sence, cause the matter of his Absence, for our want of Charity to receive him.

III.

I Have observed, that Children, when they first put on new Shooes, are very cu­rious to keep them clean. Scarce will they set their foot on the Ground, for fear to dirty the Soles of their Shooes. Yea, rather they will wipe the Leather clean with their Coats; and yet perchance the next day, they will tram­ple [Page 199] with the same Shooes in the Mire up to the Anckles. Alas, Childrens play is our Earnest. On that day wherein we receive the Sacrament, we are often over-precize, scrupling to say, or do, those things which lawfully we may. But we, who are more then Curious that day, are not so much as Carefull the next. And too often, (what shall I say) go [Page 200] on in sinne, up to the Anckles, yea, our sins go Psal. 28.4. over our Heads.

IV.

I Know some Men very desirous to see the Devill, because they conceive such an Apparition would be a Confirmation of their Faith. For then, by the Logick of Op­posites, they will con­clude, There is a God, because there is a De­vill. Thus they will [Page 201] not believe there is a Heaven, except Hell it self be deposed for a Witnesse thereof. Surely such mens Wishes are vain, and Hearts are wicked: For if they will not believe, having Moses, and the Prophets, and the A­postles, they will not believe, no, if the De­vill from Hell appears unto them. Such Ap­paritions, were never ordained by God, as the means of Faith. Be­sides, [Page 202] Satan will never shew Himself, but to his own advantage. If, as A Devill, to fright them, If as an Angell of light, to flatter them, how ever to hurt them. For my part I never desire to see him. And O! (if it were possible) that I might never feel him in his moti­ons, and Temptati­ons: I say, let me never see him, till the day of Judgement, where he [Page 203] shall stand Arreigned at the Barre, and Gods Majesty sit Judge on the Bench, ready to condemn him.

V.

I Observe, that Anti­quaries, such as prize Skill above Profit, (as being rather Cu­rious, then Covetous) do preferre the Brasse Coyns of the Ro­man Emperours, be­fore those in Gold and Silver, Because there is [Page 204] much falsenesse and forgery daily detected, (and more suspected) in Gold and Silver Meddals, as being commonly cast and Counterfeited; Where­as Brasse Coyns, are presumed upon, as true and antient, be­cause it will not quit cost for any to Coun­terfeit them. Plain dealing. Lord, what I want in Wealth may I have in sincerity. I care not how mean [Page 205] Mettall my Estate be of, if my Soul have the true Stamp, really im­pressed with the un­feigned Image of the King of Heaven.

VI.

LOoking on the Chappell of King Henry the seventh, in Westminster, (God grant I may once again see it, with the Saint, who belongs to it, Our Soveraign, there in a wel con­ditioned [Page 206] Peace) I say looking on the out­side of the Chappell, I have much admired the Curious Work­manship thereof. It added to the Wonder, that it is so shaddow­ed with mean Houses, well nigh on all sides, that one may almost touch it, as soon as see it. Such a Stru­cture needed no Bace Buildings about it, as foiles to set it off. Ra­ther this Chappell [Page 207] may passe for the Embleme of a great Worth, living in a private way. How is he pleased with his own Obscurity, whil'st others, of lesse desert, make greater Shew. And whil'st Proud People stretch out their Plumes in O [...]tentation, he useth their Vanity for his Shelter; more pleased to have worth, then to h [...]ve others take Notice of it.

VII.

THe Mariners at Sea count it the sweetest perfume, when the Water in the Keel of their Ship doth stinke. For hence they conclude, that it is but little, and long since I ak't in. But it is wofull with them, when the Water is felt before it is smelt, as fresh flowing in upon them, in abundance. It is the best savour [Page 209] in a Christian Soul, when his Sinnes are loathsome and offen­sive unto him. An happy Token that there hath not been of late in him any insen­sible supply of hai­nous offences, because his Stale Sinnes, are still his new and daily Sorrow.

VIII.

I Have sometimes considered in what a Troublesome Case [Page 210] is that Chamberlain, in an Inne, who being but one, is to give At­tendance to many Guests. For suppose them all in one Chamber, yet if one shall Command him to come to the Win­dow, and the other to the Table, and ano­ther to the Bed, and another to the Chim­ney, and another to come up Stairs, and another to go down Stairs, and all in the [Page 211] same instant, how would he be distract­ed to please them all. And yet such is the sad Condition of my soul, by Nature; Not onely a Servant but a Slave unto Sin. Pride calls me to the Win­dow, Gluttony to the Table, Wantonnesse to the Bed, Lazinesse, to the Chimney, Am­bition Commands me to go up Stairs, and Covetousnesse to come down. Vices I [Page 212] see, are as well Contra­ry to themselves, as to Vertue. Free me, Lord, from this di­stracted Case, fetch me from being Sinnes Servant to be thine, whose Service is perfect freedom, for thou art but One and Ever the same; and al­wayes enjoynes Com­mands agreeable to themselves, thy Glory, and my Good.

IX.

I Have observed, that Towns, which have been casually Burnt, have been Built again more beautifull then before: Mud-walls, afterwards made of Stone; and Roofs, formerly but thatch't, after advanced to be tiled. The 1 Pet. 4.12. Apostle tels me, that I must not think strange concerning the fiery Triall which is to happen unto me. May [Page 214] I likewise prove im­proved by it. Let my renewed Soul, which Grows out of the Ashes of the Old man, be a more firm fabrick, and stronger, structure: So shall af­fliction be my Ad­vantage.

X.

OUr Saviour saith, Matt. 6 3. when thou doest Almes, let not thy left hand know, what thy right hand doth. Yet one [Page 215] may Generally ob­serve, that Almes­houses are Common­ly built by High-way-sides, the ready road to Ostentation. How ever, farre be it from me, to make bad Comments on their Bounty: I rather in­terpret it, that they place those houses so publikely, thereby not to gain applause, but Immitation. Yea, let those, who will plant pious works, have the [Page 216] liberty to choose their own Ground. Especi­ally in this Age, wherein we are likely, neither in by wayes or High-wayes to have any works of mercy, till the whole King­dom be speedily turn­ed into one great Hospitall, and Gods Charity onely able to relieve us.

XI.

HOw wrangling and litigious [Page 217] were we in the time of Peace? how many Actions were created of nothing, Suits we had Commenced, about a mouthfull of Grasse, or a handfull of Hey. Now he, who formerly would sue his Neighbour, for Pedibus Ambulando, can behold his whole Feild lying waste, and must be content. We see our goods taken from us, and dare say nothing, not so much [Page 218] as seeking any legall Redresse, because Cer­tain not to find it. May we be restored in due Time to our former Properties, but not to our former Peevish­nesse. And when Law, shall be again awaked (or rather re­vived) let us expresse our Thanks to God, for so great a Gift by using it not wanton­ly, (as formerly in vex­ing our Neighbours about trifles) but so­berly [Page 219] to right our selves in matters of moment.

XII.

ALmost twenty yeers since I heard a profane Jest, and still remember it. How many Pious Passages, of farre later date, have I forgotten? It seems my Soul is like a filthy Pond, wherein Fish dye soon, and Froggs live long. Lord, raze [Page 220] this profane Jest out of my Memory. Leave not a Letter thereof behind, lest my Cor­ruption (an apt Scholler) guesse it out again, and be pleased to write some pious Meditation in the place thereof. And grant, Lord, that for the time to come, (be­cause such bad Guests are easier kept out, then cast out) that I may be carefull, not to admit, what I find so [Page 221] difficult to expell.

XIII.

I Perceive there is in the world a good Nature, falsely so called, as being no­thing else, but a facill and flexible Disposition, wax for every impres­sion. What others are so bold to beg, they are so bashfull as not to deny. Such Osiers, can never make Beams to bear Stresse, in Church and State. [Page 222] If this be good Nature, let me alwayes be a Clown. If this be good Fellowship, let me alwayes be a Churle. Give me to set a Stur­dy Porter before my Soul, who may not equally open to every Commer. I cannot conceive, how he can be a Friend to any, who is a friend to all, and the worst Foe to himself.

XIV.

HA, is the In­terjection of Laughter. Ah, is an Interjection of Sor­row. The difference betwixt them very small, as consisting onely in the Transpo­sition of what is no Substantiall Letter, but a bare Aspiration. How quickly in the Age of a Minute, in the very turning of a Breath, is our Mirth [Page 224] chang'd into Mourn­ing.

XV.

I Have a great friend, whom I endeavour and desire to please, but hitherto all in vain: The more I seek, the further off I am, from finding his fa­vour. Whence comes this miscarriage? Are not my Applications to man, more frequent then my Addresses to my Maker? Do I not [Page 225] love his Smiles, more then I fear Heavens Frowns? I confesse, to my Shame, that some­times his Anger hath grieved me more then my Sinnes. Hereaf­ter, by thy Assistance, I will labour to ap­prove my wayes in Gods presence; So shall I either have, or not need his friend­ship, and either please him with more ease, or displease him▪ with lesse danger.

XVI.

THis Nation is scourged with a wasting Warre. Our Sinnes were ripe; God could no longer be Just, if we were Prosperous. Blessed be his Name, that I have suffered my Share in the Calami­ties of my Countrey. Had I poised my self so politickly betwixt both Parties, that I had suffered from nei­ther, [Page 227] yet could I have took no Content­ment in my safe escap­ing. For why should I, equally ingaged with others in Sinning, be exempted above them from the punishment. And seeing the bitter Cup, which my bre­thren have pledg'd, to passe by me, I should fear it would be fill'd again, and returned double, for me to drink it. Yea, I should suspect, that I [Page 228] were reserved alone, for a greater Shame and Sorrow. It is therefore some com­fort that I draw in the same Yoak with my Neighbours, & with them joyntly bear the Burthen which our Sins joyntly brought upon us.

XVII.

WHen, in my privat Prayers, I have been to con­fesse my bosome Sins [Page 229] unto God, I have been loath to speak them aloud. Fearing (though no men could) yet that the Devill would over­hear me, and make use of my words against me. It being Pro­bable, that when I have discovered the weakest Part of my Soul, he would assault me there. Yet, since I have considered, that therein I shall tell Satan no News, [Page 230] which he knew not before. Surely I have not managed my Secret Sinnes with such privacy, but that he, from some Cir­cumstances, collected what they were. Though the fire was within, he saw some smoake without. Wherefore, for the future, I am resolved, to Acknowledge my darling faults, though alone, yet aloud; That the Devill who re­joyced [Page 231] in, partly, knowing of my Sins, may be grieved more by hearing the Expres­sion of my Sorrow. As for any ad­vantage he may make from my Con­fession, this Com­forts me▪ Gods Goodnesse in Assist­ing me, will be above Satans Malice in As­saulting me.

XVIII.

IN the mid'st of my Morning Prayers, I [Page 232] had a good Medita­tion, which since I have forgotten. Thus much I remember of it, that it was pious in it self, but not proper for that time. For it took much from my Devotion, and added nothing to my In­struction, and my soul, not able to in­tend two things at once, abated of it's fer­vency in Praying. Thus snatching at two. Imployments, [Page 233] I held neither well. Sure this Meditation came not from him, who is the God of Order. He useth to fasten all his Nailes, and not to drive out one with another. If the same Meditation return again, when I have leisure, and room to receive it, I will say it is of his sending, who so mustereth, and mar­shalleth all good Actions, that like the [Page 234] Souldiers in his Ar­my, mentioned in the Ioel 2.8. Prophet. They shall not thrust one another, they shall walk every one in his own Path.

XIX.

WHen I go spee­dily in any Action. Lord give me to call my soul to an account. It is a shrewd Suspition, that my Bowle runnes down-hill, because it runnes so fast. And [Page 235] Lord, when I go in an unlawfull way, start some Rubbs to stop me, let my Foot slip or stumble. And give me the Grace to understand the Lan­guage of the Lets thou throwest in my way. Thou hast promised, Hosea. 2.6. I will hedge up thy way. Lord be pleased to make the hedge high enough, and thick enough, that if I be so mad, as to adven­ture to climbe over it, [Page 236] I may not onely soundly rake my cloaths, but rend my Flesh: yea, let me ra­ther be caught, and stick in the Hedge, then breaking in thorow it, fall on the other side into the deep Ditch of eternall Damnation.

XX.

COming hastily into a Chamber, I had almost thrown down a Christall [Page 237] Hour-Glasse: Fear, lest I had, made me grieve, as if I had broken it: But, alas, how much pretious Time have I cast away, without any Regret. The Hour-Glasse was but Christall, each Hour a Pearl; that but like to be broken, this lost outright; That but casually, this done wilfully. A better Hour-Glasse might be bought: But Time [Page 238] lost once, lost ever. Thus we grieve more, for Toyes then for Treasure. Lord, give me an Hour-Glasse, not to be by me, but to be in me. Teach me to Number my Psal. 90.12. dayes. An Hour-Glasse, to turn Me, That I may apply my heart unto Wisdom.

XXI.

WHen a Child, I loved to look on the Pictures in the Book [Page 239] of Martyrs. I thought that there the Mar­tyres at the Stake, seemed like the three Children in the fiery Dan. 3.27. Fournace, Ever since I had known them there, not one hair more of their Head was burnt, nor any smell of the fire singeing of their Cloaths. This made me think Martyrdom was no­thing. But O, though the Lion be painted fiercer then he is, the fire is farre fiercer [Page 240] then it is painted. Thus it is easie for one to endure an afflicti­on, as hee limnes it out in his own fancie, and repre­sents it to himself but in a bare Specula­tion. But when it is brought indeed, and laied home to us, there must be the Man, yea, there must be more then the Man, yea, there must be God to assist the Man to undergo it.

XXII.

TRavelling on the Plain, (which notwithstanding hath its Risings and Fallings) I discovered Salisbury Steeple ma­ny miles off: Coming to a declivity, I lost the sight thereof: But climbing up the next Hill, the Steeple grew out of the Ground again. Yea, I often found it, and [Page 242] lost it, till at last, I came safely to it, and took my lodging neer it. It fareth thus with us, whilst we are way-fairing to heaven, mounted on the Deut. 34.1. Pisgat Top of some good Meditation, we get a glimps of our Celestiall Canaan. But when, either on the Flat of an Ordinary Temper, or in the Fall of an Extraordi­nary Temptation, we lose the view thereof. [Page 243] Thus, in the sight of our Soul, Heaven is discovered, covered & recovered, till, though late, at last, though slowly, surely, we ar­rive at the Haven of our Happinesse.

XXIII.

I Find my self in the Latitude of a Feaver. I am neither well, nor ill. Not so well, that I have any mind to be merry with my [Page 244] Friends, nor so ill that my Friends have any cause to Condole with me. I am a Pro­bationer in point of my health. As I shall behave my self, so I may be either expelled out of it, or admitted into it. Lord, let my distemper stop here, & go on further. Shoot not thy Murthering Pieces against that Clay-Castle, which surrendreth it self at thy first Summons. [Page 245] O spare me a little! that I may recover my strength. I begge not to be forgiven, but to be forborn my Debt to Nature. And I onely do crave time, for a while, till I be better fitted, and furnished to pay it.

XXIV.

IT seemed strange to me when I was told, That Aqua-vitae (which restores life [Page 246] to others) should it self be made of the droppings of Dead Beer. And that Strong-waters should be extracted out of the Dreggs (almost) of small Beer. Surely many other excellent Ingredients, must concurre, and much Art must be used in the Distillation. De­spair not then, O my Soul! No Extraction is Impossible, where the Chymist is Infi­nite. [Page 247] He that is All in all, can produce any thing, out of any thing. And he can make my Soul, which by Nature is setled on his Zeph. 1.12. Lees, and Dead in Sinne, to be quickned by the Infusion of his Grace, and purified into a pious Disposi­tion.

XXV.

HOw easie is Pen and Paper-Piety for one to write Re­ligiously. I will not say it costeth nothing, b [...]t it is farre cheaper to work one's Head, then ones Heart to Goodnesse. Some, perchance, may guesse me to be good by my writings, and so I shall Deceive my [Page 249] Reader. But if I do not desire to be good, I most of all deceive my self. I can make an hundred Meditations, sooner then subdue the least sinne in my soul. Yea, I was once in the mind, never to write more; For fear lest my writings at the last day prove Re­cords against me. And yet why should I not write? that by Reading my own Book, the Dispro­portion [Page 250] betwixt my lines and my life, may make me blush my self, (if not into good­nesse) into lesse bad­nesse then I would do otherwise. That so my Writings may Condemne me, and make me to Con­demne my self, that so God may be moved to acquit me.