I.

WHen I consider that yesterday was the Conclusion of the last year; and that I now am entred on [Page 17]another; 'tis seasonable to re­flect on the mutable condition, and short Duration of all Things in this world, which are measu­red by Time. That as they have their Beginning, so they have their End: and that the distance, or space of Time between the one & the other is very little. Let me not then, o my soul! Rejoyce & please my self to much in New Injoy­ments; remembring a Change may be at hand, & the End is certaine.

Many who were Rich, and Flourishing the last year may be reduc'd to Poverty and deep dis­tress, before the end of this: who are now in a capacity to relieve others, within a few moneths, or a shorter space, may be objects of other mens Charity. The thing which hath been, is that which may be: and that which hath been seen in one year, may hap­pen in another: so easily so quick­ly [Page 18]may a Change be made! Ri­ches may unexpectedly change their Owners, and borrow wings of a thousand Accidents, wher with to flye to Heaven for a new Disposal. 1 Cor. 7. v. 29. They therefore who pos­sess should be as if they possessed not: for the Fashion of this world pas­seth away. Innumerable casual­ties may effect that change, which no humane Art or skill can pos­sibly foresee or hinder. afflictive unexpected Evills attend us eve­ry where, we cannot promise our selves Tranquillity for a Day, much less an Year to come. they lay in wait for us on every side, enter at every crevice, and com­monly overtake us, when we are least apprehensive of their ap­proach. Job. 9.25. Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of Trouble: He cometh up as a flower, and is cut down: fleeth as a shadow, and continueth [Page 19]not. What then are Riches, Beauty, Strengh, and Honor, the accidents of this Substance, which is it self but a Shadow! His Life is but a vapor, on which they all depend; then how much less are they? to how speedy an alteration are they subject! what numberless Instances of this doth one years experience fur­nish! what sadning Disapoint­ments and unexpected Calamities have befallen many since this Day Twelve moneth! and multitudes who are now at ease, and think their mountaine too strong to be removed, shall meet with shar­per Trials before the end of this year. Alas! how few consider or believe it, till they find it so? All men should count upon trouble and Disapointment, suffering and sorrow in this world: and he that hath the least share is reck­on'd the most Prosperous man: [Page 20]and yet he knows not how soon his Portion may be doubled. We reckon our Joys by the absence of some degrees of sorrow and Ca­lamity, that others meet with: and before the end of this year, our condition may be as discon­solate as theirs. O my soul! tho I know this to be true; tho I can­not, I dare not deny it; yet how difficult is it to conquer the Love of this world, and of this Body, to that degree I ought! to under­value the intrest of a short, a mu­table, uncertaine, and trouble­some Life, in comparison of the permanent possession of an Ever­lasting Good! tho I know that what is earthly and temporal must needs be thus changea­ble and fading: and that it is as true of Man himself as of a­ny thing under the sun; yet how do I forget what Man is! how do I live, as if all this were as certain­ly [Page 21]fals, as it is unquestionably true? admire, love, fear, trust in Man, as if he were the direct-contrary to what he is, and seek for immortality upon earth, & act as if I were assured of it, & were not liable to any change: tho I acknowledgd and know the contrary. Tho the last years ex­perience, and the observation of every day doth convince me of it; tho all history and all the re­cords of the Grave attest it; tho all mankind in every Age have found it so; tho it be a manifest notorious truth, legible in the various changes and calamities, but especially in the Dust and ashes of all who have lived be­fore us, (our Graves being of­ten made of our Predecessors Dust, and the Earth we bury in having once been living) yet how little is it believed, how seldom considered. The Con­firmation [Page 22]of it which one year gives us hath little Influence on our Hearts of lives, with respect to the next. We ought therefore to accustom our sel­ves to these thoughts, be­fore such changes Happen, to which our Final change shall ere long succeed. They will be less efficacious, if never admitted till our minds are opprest and feeb­led by the weight of Affliction. We shall then want that vigor of Reason which should coope­rate with the remedy: and which if used before hand would help to support and stay our minds un­der all subsequent revolutions. For those Considerations may be able to fix and stay our minds under changes, that may not be sufficient to recover and raise our spirits after they are dejected and fallen.

II.

WHat a discovery doth one year make of the mutability of Man, not only of his outward Condition, but of the Man him­self, his temper, his Practise, his Inclinations, his Aversions, &c. He abideth not at one stay: every breath of wind turns him to ano­ther shape. We despise to day, that which we admired yester­day: and to morrow hate the ob­ject of our present Love. We be­gin friendships, and cancell them [Page 24]on slight occasions: and a mor­tal enmity often succeeds to a ten­der affection; the very Persons, who are in one year our darling Friends, and possibly deserved to be so, may yet be open Enemies the next, and seek our Ruine. Lord! what is man? How de­ceitfull and mutable the Heart of man! we know not what other men are, or will prove to be, till a trial; and we are equally Ignorant concerning our selves, till an hour of temptation. How patiently do we think we could bear Afflictions till we feel them! how Partial and mistaken a Judg­ment do we make of our wisdom and strengh in reference to the future! we counsel others to sub­mission and resignation in the most difficult trials, and wonder they complaine so loud; when we our selves despond and sink under half their Burden: and [Page 25]send up our more impatient mur­murs to Heaven, when God thinks fit to prove us by a lighter Stroke. We censure and con­demn others, who are in an higher Station, and are called to more difficult work then we; when by a little Advancement, and the like Temptations, we discover that we are as bad as they. They who were reputed Humble Tem­perate and Religious, when they have been exalted higher, be­come Proud, sensual, and un­godly. Had some been told a twelve moneth since, what now they are, and speak, and act, they would have made Hazael's answer, Am I a Dog, that I should do this? A change in the publick affaires of the State, and by that means of particular In­trests, or some alteration of our own more private Circumstances (calling us to new Duties and ex­posing [Page 26]us to new Temptations) discovers us more to our selvs, and to other men, then was ex­pected, and proves us to be very different from what we appeared to be. Such a change, for In­stance, as from Poverty to Ri­ches, from Sickness to Health, from obscurity to Honor, from Privacy to a Publick charge &c. or on the contrary. May we not fear, that some, who a year since dared not live a day in the neglect of Closet and family Devotion, do now omit it, for many Days and weeks together? And that some, who once were careful to improve the whole Sabbath to religious purposes, now place the whole of their Religion in at­tending the publick worship, and think it enough, not for that Day only, but for the whole week. Under the afflicting hand of God, or some apprehensions of an [Page 27]proaching change, or sens of Guilt upon Great Transgres­sions, the convictions of sin are lively, Conscience is sensible and awake, affections warm, Reso­lutions strong, &c. but alas! how soon doth the case alter! our Spi­rits cool, our zeal abates, our good Purposes untwist and dye, and come to nothing. By degrees we return to Folly, and boldly venture on that sin, we lately trembled at. Thro the want of continued smart afflictions, or of a serious awakening Ministry, and friendly faithfull admonition: or thro the Temptations of vaine Company, and the remaining power of fleshly Lusts. So that we falsifie our most sacred Promi­ses and Resolutions, violate our holy vows, cancell the bonds of God upon us, suffer the Devil to reenter and prevail again, to take possession of our hearts, and [Page 28]yeild our selvs an easy prey to his Temptations, till our latter end be worse then our Beginning. Oh what a change doth one year let us see! in Persons as well as things! in our selvs as well as other Men! And as it is with Man himself, so with every thing that he values himself upon, or for which he is esteemed by others: and even this esteem and Reputation is also changeable and uncertaine. Not to Instance in Riches, but in what is nobler, Learning, and the Im­provements of the mind by stu­dy; how soon may the violence of a Diseas disturb or stupifie the Braine to that degree, as shall reduce the greatest scholar to the Pittied condition of a Fool, or Bedlam? and where is his Re­putation and Renown, in such a case? But much less then that, will blast the fairest Reputation, with the far greatest part of the world: [Page 29]it may be lost by unwary mistakes, by falss reports, by envy and ma­lice, by the subtle hatred of Enemies, or by the weakness and credulity of Friends, (who will listen to every Backbiters story) or by one or two indiscre­tions of the man himself; and no man can be certaine to secure his Reputation, while he lives: much less after he is dead. People will talk of us as they please: and their opinions very often change from one extreme to the other. But he who hath the loudest Fame shall only be talkt of a little longer then his Neighbors: and that by a few dying Men, that must them­selvs be ere long forgotten. And how small a part of the Inhabited world, is acquainted so much as with the name of the greatest men in Europe? and how diffe­rent and Contrary are mens Opi­nions and Discourses of them, [Page 30]where they are known, and talkt of. And how many holy excel­lent persons are buried in obli­vion, or mis-represented as un­worthy to live on earth, whose names will be found in the book of Life. Our Life is yet as mu­table and uncertaine as any of thes. Our Breath is in our nostrils, and tho there be room enough for it to goe out, we have no assurance that we shall have power to draw it in againe.

III.

I Now begin another year: but what Assurance have I to out live it? I cannot say how soon [Page 31]my Soveraign Judge may call me hence, and summon me to appear before his Righteous Bar. Oh let me not defer my necessary preparations for Death, which may be nearer then I imagine! let me mind the Great things first, which are of absolute necessity, to be done, sometime or other before I dye! This perishing Body which I have pamperd and indulged, at the expence of so much cost and Time, may be pu­trifying in a silent Grave, before half this year be past. Lord! bless this thought, to awaken my dili­gent endeavours to secure the Blessedness of Eternity! to mor­tifie the desire of Great things for my self, in future years; by the considered possibility of dying before the end of this! For no glass is more brittle, no Bub­ble more vanishing, no Ice more dissolving, no Flower more sa­ding, [Page 32]no shadow less substantial, no sleep or dream more decei­ving, no sound more Transient, nothing more vaine, and more uncertaine then Life, on which all other things in this world de­pend. We sleep every night in the outer chambers of Death: and in some diseases, sleeps, which is the image and picture of death is taken away, to give place to the Original, and make way for death. And every year, every week, every day are hastening to our final change: which may over­take us ere we are aware. Every word we speak, is formed of that Breath whereby we live; and we may not live to pronounce ano­ther sentence: but the lamp of life be extinguisht and blown out by a sudden blast. Every thing we do carries away some sands of our little Glass of Time; and how little may remaine? Or how soon [Page 33]may the Glass be broke? our souls are in our bodies, as a little air inclosed in a thin bubble: how easily is that broken, and where are we? How many who are now a live, in health and vigor, who deliberate on their meat and drink, and are curious of air and exercize, to maintaine them­selvs in health, and pleas them­selvs with the dream of years to come, shall never see another New-years day? it may be not another moneth, or week, or morrow? When I lye down to sleep, I hope to rise stronger, and fresher, and fitter for work, but I know with all, I may rise no more. And may not my name be on the Roll of those who shall next be called, at least some time this year? Let me not then neglect or foolishly delay my Principal Bu­siness; to provide against a chan­ge, which is inevitable, but the [Page 34]time of it altogether doubtfull. Ought not my first and chiefest care be imployed to make my Peace with God. (He alone can be my Happiness: to his final Judgment I am hastening: His Favor alone can give me support and Joy in a dying hour: To his mercy I must trust, when I leave this world, and can have no ad­vantage more by any thing in it:) that he may mercifully receive my soul at Death and be my ever­lasting Portion. Do I know my Life is thus vaine and transient? and shall I not seriously improve it to such a Purpose? Shall thes thoughts leave no Impression u­pon me? Do I breath continually in this Element of vanity? and yet forget where I am? and re­maine insensible of so near a change? Shall thes thoughts pass away as a vanishing Cloud, and distill no softening drops on [Page 35]my soul? Shall the Image of Death, which meets me every where, be only like an appearing Ghost or Phantasm, that startles and scares a little, but is presently gone, and no more considered? Oh! let me now remember to make God my friend, and secure an intrest in his Eternal mercy, while the Day lasts; yea while my Reason and understanding are free, and not disturbed and clou­ded by Fear and paine, and the disorders of the Body, as com­monly they are in sickness, if God should vouchsafe me that warn­ing which yet I may not pro­mise my self to have, for I may be cut off by a sudden stroke, before the end of this year, I now begin.

IV.

WHen I look back on the preceding years of my Life, how easily can I grasp them all at once? they are even as Yester­day when 'tis past. But so many years to come hath something great and vast, which fils my thoughts, and affects my mind, after another manner. Such is the difference between past In­joyments, and the Expectation of future. Let me suppose the same term and duration of Years, and yet how different are my Appre­hensions of what is past, and of what is yet to come! Things past by a remembrance of some re­markable [Page 37]passages when they happened, seem to be present with me: but not knowing what may happen in the same number of years to come, I have nothing wheron to fix my thoughts. Or the reason of this difference may rather be, that men in this dege­nerate and necessitous State, (with unsatisfied desires reaching after Happines, and sensible no­thing present can afford it, and knowing by Experience that no­thing past could have done it,) are eagerly desirous of Felicity, and because we know not but what is to come may procure it, we hope it will; which makes the Time seem long by reason of our Expectation and desire of Good. Wheras the foresight of Evill, and the Expectation of that, some years hence, makes the Time rather seem short and near at hand: So many years to come; [Page 38]in the Expectation and desire of Good, are long and tedious, such Hope deferred makes the Heart sick: even tho 'tis of that, sort as must needs fail our Expec­tations. Prepare me, Lord! for what thine unerring Counsell shall pleas to order, as to the re­mainder of my time on earth: and suffer me not to count upon a great number of Years to come, since this for ought I know may be my last; neither let me expect Rest and Happiness in this world, which nothing Temporal can af­ford. This is not the state or sea­son, wherein, by any promise of God, I am encouraged to hope it. And if fifty or threescore years to come, be thought so great a mat­ter, and really is so, as to our stay on earth; Oh what apprehen­sions ought I to admit concern­ing an endless, Everlasting State! especially being as cer­taine [Page 39]of the latter, after death, as I am uncertaine about the former; wither so many years be yet to co­me before my death?

V.

THink o my soul! how short is that Life at longest, made up of years and moneths and days: such little parts, and yet in num­ber few. Well therefore may it be exprest as I find in holy writt by years of number. That is, such as may soon be numbred. 16. c. 22.12. Ezek. 16.10 Isai. 19. When a few years are come, saith Job, (or the years of number, as in the original,) I shall go the way, whence I shall not return. By the years of on Hireling, which [Page 40]were not above three. 16. Is. 14. We usually compute Threescore and ten years, to the Life of man: let me suppose four score. The Bed with most imploys one half: and hardly one in Thirty doth reach the Age of Seventy Years. And they who live to such an Age, Winter Evening Conference. Conf. 1. do yet complaine how soon 'tis done. Ignorant child hood, and Heedless Youth, and Infirm old Age may be supposed to take up be a third part of that Time. In either of them very little of the great Ends of Life are answered. We ordinarily begin to reck­on our lives from our Birth: wheras for a good while after we know not wither we are alive or no, but are beholding to others to make the account for us. When we first come to the steady use of Reason, or what we call the years of Discretion; how few are there but from the preju­dices [Page 41]of Education, from the cor­ruption of Humane Nature, from the want of Experience, from the Infection of bad Compa­ny, how few, I say, but spend their younger years in those things, which afterwards they are ashamed of, when Experience hath taught them the Wisdom of men. How great a part of our re­maining Time is taken up in the necessites of Nature about food and Rayment, and in lawfull cares, to support the Body? and how much more then needs, in pampering dressing and adorning it? out of the smal remainder, how much is imploied in the con­cerns of a Family, and near Re­lations, in particular Callings, in necessary Civil Business, and in getting, keeping, or impro­ving an Estate? Besides all the Time that is spent in Recreations, visits, unprofitable discours, im­pertinent [Page 42]thoughts, journeys, sickness, and innumerable other occasions, some allowable and many needless? After this, how little Time remains wherein to Cultivate and improve our minds, by Languages, Arts and Sciences, or the knowledg of a Trade, &c. How little then after all, may we say, is left for the the matters of Religion! for De­votion to God, and serious pre­paration for another world! Alas! how smal a number of years make up the Life of Man! and how smal a Portion of that, is im­ployed about the Principal Busi­ness, for which we were born, & for which we live? We divide Time into Past, Present, and Future: but the Past is not now ours; the Future is not yet, and the Present now is past, ere the sound be pronounced And yet this is all the Time alloted us, [Page 43]wherein to secure the Blessedness of Eternity. How many Hours more of our little Time might be improved then commonly are by the Best? In every year there are eight thousand seven hundred se­venty five Hours: if we allow the greatest half for sleep, and ne­cessary attendance on the Body, and take but four thousand Hours for our work and business of con­sequence: how poor an acount can most men give of all thes four thousand Hours, in every year? not one hour in seven, not one in ten, is ordinarily devoted to God, and the purposes of Re­ligion. Should it not affectus, seriously to consider this? espe­cially if we remember, at what an uncertainty we are, how smal a number of Days and Hours do yet remaine. This year, this moneth, this week, this day, or hour may be my last. What an [Page 44]unsuspected accident or a sudden diseas may doe, I know not: but this I know that there is scarce any thing that hath not killed some Body; an hair, a feather, a vapor, a breath hath done it, and when the Apostle James asks the question, What is your Life? he answers, It is even a vapor, that appeareth a little while, and then vanisheth away.

VI.

IS the Life of men so short and fleeting, our days on Earth so few, and so uncertaine, how careful should I be to manage every hour? indevoring to match the swiftness of Time by [Page 45]my celerity and diligence to im­prove it! As there is no Cove­nant to be made with Death; so no Agreement for the arrest and stay of Time; it keeps its pace wither I redeem and use it well or noe. The greatest part of our life is designedly imploied to av­oid death, we eat and drink and sleep and labor and rest, that we may not dye; and yet even by thes we hasten to death. Every Breath, every puls, every word leaus one less of the number which God hath apointed me, and carries away some sands of the glass of Time; and yet how little care is taken to imploy it well. We sel­dom value it, till we can no lon­ger use it to any advantage: and tho we know it can neither be re­tarded in its motion, or recalled when past, yet of nothing are we more Prodigal. Yea how many complaine of it as a Burden; and [Page 46]know not what to do with their Time, are excedingly at a losse wherein to imploy it; what to doe to be rid of it. But alas! how near is that change, when they shall think nothing too dear to purchase some few grains of that sand, which now seem too many, while they are passing thro their Hourglass? Did we consider it as we ought, we should not foo­lishly throw away so much of it in trifles, and things Impertinent, or what is worse? How much more might we redeem then com­monly we doe! to how much better purpose might we hus­band it! how much more work might we doe, were we never Idle, or did not loyter! we might walk far, did we not often stand still, or goe out of our way. We see it plainly by the great and ex­cellent effects of some few mens Industry in every Age. Art hath [Page 47]found means to set spies and watches as it were on the Sun; that He cannot look out, but they take hold of his shadow, and force it to tell how far he is gone that day: and yet while we are curious in making time give a just account of it self to us; how little do we consider the account of our Time which we must shortly give to God. Oh that such a thought might effectually per­suade me to redeem it! that I may not tarry till the end of Time to know the worth of it, Let me not undervalue it, while 'tis given me to be used, that I may not eter­nally regret my folly, when Time shall be no more.

VII.

WHen I consider the Begin­ning of another year, I can hardly avoid reflecting on its se­veral parts, summer and winter, spring and fall, and day and night, and their alternate Turns. This calls me to observe and ad­mire his Eternal power and God­head, Wisdom and Truth, who is the Great Author of this admi­rable variety. Who hath fixed the Earth with his Foot, and hanged it on nothing, and setled the Luminaries of Heaven for Excellent Ends: The Sun to rule by day, and the Moon by night, therby to distinguish Times and Seasons, to separate Day and Night, Winter and Summer, and consult the convenience and [Page 49]coin ful of Man and Beast by their doe succession. The Day is thine, the Night also is thine, thou makest Summer and Winter. How wonderfull is their order, Beauty and constant cours! that when the sun withdraws, and the shadows of the Evening cover the Earth with darkness, to conclude the Day; the Moon and Stars sup­ply the place of the absent Sun during the Night: and that tho they differ in length, yet gradually lessen till they are both equall at the years end, and have made the same circuit. How excellent a work of God is that quick suc­cession to one another. The sup­position of a perpetual night, is a dismal gloomy thought, O what will the Everlasting Dark­ness of the Infernal prison be! The Sun by day inlightens the Earth, directs our motion, gui­des our way, governs our Tra­vail, [Page 50]assists conversation, awa­kens Industry, warms the Earth and Air, gives life, and vigor, and fruitfulness to all things un­der the Sun, and makes the whole Inferior Creation to rejoice. An Emblem of God's universal Goodness, who is kind to all his creatures. How admirable is its Lustre! how glorious is its Light! how loudly doth it proclaim his power and wisdom! who made this, and the other Lights of Heaven, by his powerful word, and preserns them hitherto by his daily Providence. If God be now so glorious, contemplated in his works, considered in the lustre of the created sun, viewed only thro the windows of s [...]ns; how much more glorious will he appear hereafter, when we shall see him face to face, and nothing interpose betwixt us and his in­comparable Light? If mine Eyes [Page 51]darle to look upon the meridian Sun, in what inaccessible Light must he dwell, who is the Father of Lights? If this lower world, the common receptacle of his Friends and Enemies, have so much of his Glory vouchsafed them by the Heavenly Bodies; O what a place will Heaven be, where shall be no Sun or Moon nor need of any, but the Glory of God shall lighten it, and the Lamb be the Light therof. While I thus consider the Sun and the Day, I must not think the Night is use less: which discovers another part of the Heavens, not discer­nible by Day, viz the Stars and Planets, refreshing the Earth, cooling the air, giving necessary rest to the Creatures, &c. their order, motions, aspects, op­positions, influences, are all usefull, and Instructive. The [Page 52]agreable mixture of Light and Darkness, the regular succession of Day and Night within a few hours, are exceeding wonder­full, and advantagious. In other parts of the world, where the Sun beams are more direct and its he at excessive, God hath made amends by the length of the night, (under the Equinoctial line it is allways 12 hours) and in the more northern parts, where the Influence of the Sun is weaker, the days are proportionably lon­ger. So good is God to all his Creatures, in all parts of the world! As the morning and eve­ning answer to the day of 24 hours, so doth Spring and Au­tumn to the 12 moneths of the year: that we may not pass im­mediately from one extreme to another; but gradually be dis­posed for so great a change, as is between summer and winter, be­tween [Page 53]winter and summer. So mercifull and gracious, and in­finitely wise is God in all his works! so that we cannot say, one part of the year is more ne­cessary then another. The winter is as usefull for the good of the universe, as the summer: in this we are supplied with what is ne­cessary to maintaine us in that, and the admirable situation of the Sun, (most probably) in the center of the world, seems much to contribute to it. If it had been at a farther distance from us, our earth would have been in a manner desolate; be­cause the influence of the sun could not have been considera­ble: and if it had been nearer, the stars above would have want­ed Light, and this Earth in under been burnt up. The Excellent or­der which it hath now obeyed for above six thousand years, is also [Page 54]wonderfull. The sun never stood still but once, and that by a mi­racle. tho much inferior to that of its daily Progress. What a subject is here to admire the Power, goodness, Wisdom, and Faithfulness of God? Lord! what is man! for whom then dost all this? and because I find every year that the Day dies into night, the summer into winter, and herbs and plants lose their beau­ty and verdure, and shed their blossoms; may I not hence learn to consider and prepare for my own approaching Change? In prosperity, health, and ease, and life, to expect, and make provi­sion for trouble, sickness, paine, and Death? as every wise man in summer would do for winter; and work with all my might, while it is called to day, while the Light continues, because the night of darkness is at hand, when none can work.

VIII.

NOt only few, and uncertaine, but Evill likewise are the days of the years of my Life, may every one say, with the Patriarch Jacob. A sufficient portion of evil for every year may well be expected, when our Lord tells us, there is a certaine measure allo­ted for every day. Sufficient to the day is the evil of it. Not only is our Life short, but troublesome, full of vexatious mixtures. We can not sing a Requiem to our souls, when one Great Calamity is past; for we know not, in this Region of Changes, but ano­ther, a greater may be at hand. [Page 56]one messenger of ill news may succeed and out doe another, as it was with Job. We come weep­ing into the world in a most help­less forloen state: and if we escape the dangers of Infancy, and the casualties of childhood; and after that, out live the snares & follies of youth; we are tost upon the Pikes of Time and Chance, and sadden and disquiet our selvs with a thousand griefs and sorrows, by inevitable and unexpected oc­casions, tho we increas the num­ber of needless Cares and Fears, and discontents; till at length a sudden stroke arrests us, we fetch a groan, and dye. Who can give a Catalogue of the Afflictions and Calamities, Perplexities and Disapointments, incumbrances, crosses, and Evill accidents of Humane Life? by means whereof millions are disconsolate and sad, mourn and complaine, [Page 57]weep and sigh, and from day to day are fed with the Bread of Af­fliction, and the water of Adver­sity. Not to mention mens fluc­tuating restless thoughts of Heart, importunate, desires, baf­led projects, defeated Purposes, which suppose or bring vexation. A good share of these is not to be auoided; and yet very few can be particularly fore seen. who could prognosticate a year agoe the Evills which have happened since? publick and private, personal and relative, to the Countries, Cit­ties, Families, and persons we are concerned for? and who can certainly foretell the Events of this insueing year? God hath in­termixt Good and Evill in the Life of Man: he hath set Prospe­rity against Adversity, saith So­lomon, to the end, that man should find nothing after him. 7. Eccles. 14. that he may not [Page 58]know what shall come next, wither a Prosperous or a Calamitous Event. What a change may be made in a year by the meer Ca­sualty of humane Events? by the Treachery of friends, or the ma­lice of Enemies, or the more im­mediate hand of God? We know not what shall be on the morrow, much less what a twelve moneth may produce. Because what ever may be disposed to happen, from natural causes, or Civil counsels, may be altered by a perticular decree of Providence. Prepare me Lord! and every of those in whose Felicity I more especially take part, for all the Calamities and Sorrows, thine Infinite Wisdom shall think fit to exercize us with, this following year: and by thy mercifull Providence, and gra­cious Conduct, cause them to work for Good Furnishing us with suitable strength and wisdom, [Page 59]to acquiesce in thy good pleasure, and obey they Will. I thank thee, O Heavenly Father! that thou hast reserved the knowledg of future Times and Seasons to thy self; and hid Events from men. Least by considering them cer­taine, we should presume in case they are Good; or should despairingly afflict our selves, by fore­seeing the Evill we know to be inevitable. Did we certainly foreknow the Good that would befall us, we should not Trust in thee to bring it to pass, or heartily implore thy Care and conduct. Did we forsee the Evills we shall suffer, before they overtake us, we should be overwhelmed with diffidence and Despair. Many a Mother who rejoiceth at the Birth of a son, would mourn to foresee what a man, what a Son he will prove. Such an increas of knowledg would increas our sorrow such a [Page 60]Prescience would transport and discompose us, by unseasonable Joys and Sorrows, born out of Time, make us Remiss in our Duty to thee, and weaken our Dependance on thine unerring Wisdom, Truth, and Power.

IX.

THe longest Life is but a day multiplied: and who can [Page 61]certifie or assure me, which will be my last? He only who was God as well as man, could say, Mine Hour is not yet come. Is all my Life given me to resolue this Question? Whither I shall be in Heaven or Hell for ever? And have I any time to lose, and squander away, as superfluous? have I any more then needs? 'Tis no impossible or unreasonable supposition to make, that I may dye this year. Let me admit that thought, and imagine my self on a bed of sickness, wearied with paine, and ready to leave this world: the Physitians gone, des­pairing of my recovery: my friends about me weeping: and all things in a doleful melancholy posture, suited to such a state: feeling within my self the presa­ges of Death: expecting the fi­nal stroke, in an hour or two more. What is then the value of [Page 62]sensual Pleasures, can I then relish or savor them? what then is Ho­nour to me, who shall never goe abroad more to receive it, till carried to my grave? will it then comfort me to have lived in Re­putation, and Applause, if my Heart was not humble under it, and the Honour of God promo­ted by it? can Riches and a great estate support me, when I am just packing up for a removal to the other world? in that hour will it be any satisfaction, to have made a stir and noise for a few years upon Earth, to be talkt of for a while longer then other men? are thes the things my dying thoughts will be most concerned to reflect on? Thes dignities pleasures and possessions offerd to a dying man, would rather opraid then tempt him; they come too late, as a Princes pardon to a man whose head is off. Dye [Page 63]I must, and appear before my Judge, to answer for all that I have received and done in the body. Fool that I was, (shall I then too justly say to my self,) not to have considered this, much sooner! not to have provided for it at a better rate! my sins stare me in the face, my conscience tells me I am not ready for such a Trial: I have lived a stranger to such thoughts as now I cannot refuse, and which should have been admitted sooner. But if to such a state any hope of mercy may be granted, (tho it be un­speakably little,) yet I cannot promise my self any such warning by sickness. The sleeping virgins were called at Midnight, and so may I. where can I pitch my Tents on Earth to be secure against a sudden remove? Lord! make thes thoughts effectual to prevent my loss of precious Time, which [Page 64]at such a season, will be esteemed precious, tho now it be not. O how swift, how short, my Time of Trial in order to Eternity! how difficult, how important a work is it to prepare for an Everlasting state! what is all this world, how little, how meer a nothing, to a departing soul! and shall I after such reflexions, continue to pur­sue shadows, and pleas my self with empty dreams? when being so near my final Judgment, the common wisdom of a man requi­res me to mind it in good earnest; and be more sollicitous about it then for any Thing Temporal? O in what manner will Death open mine eyes? by shutting the windows of sens, how shall I then see the nothingness of what is but Temporal, and the reality of what is Eternal! We sometimes laugh to see the vanity of little Children, who are greatly plea­sed [Page 65]with painted toys, and busily imployed about trifles. It extorts a smile to see them eager, and industrious, and mightily con­cerned in their childish sports: to see them fight or weep for little things which we despise: to ob­serve with what sollicitude and care theyl raise a little fabrick which three moments after they themselvs pull down, or would otherwise tumble of its own ac­cord. We laugh at thes, but should weep over our selvs, as the greater and Elder Fools: who are every whit as Silly, yea infi­nitely more so: that considering we know the frailty of our present Life, and can look beyond the Grave to another world, should yet mispend our precious Time on things which cannot profit; and pleas our selvs with what is so unsuitable to our Age and State; and suffer our passions to work [Page 66]with violence, for a thing of nought; and our greatest dili­gence, care, and zeal to be ex­ercized on things impertinent and vaine; that are perishing in in themselvs, and can contribute nothing to our Eternal wellfare. And is it not thus with reference to all that men toyl and labor for with the neglect of an immortal State?

The voluptuous Sadducee will not refuse the present gratifica­tion of his sensual appetite, be­cause he is uncertaine of another day. Let us eat and drink for to morrow we dye. Should not the same motive quicken my diligen­ce in a better work? and because my Lord may come suddenly as a thief in the night, immediately prepare to meet him? Let me now therefore, o my soul! look forward to the end of Life and Time! and so let me esteem and [Page 67]seek, and choos, and do every thing in the first place, which then I shall wish I had! Let me do nothing now, which I verily be­lieve I shall then be ashamed, or sorry to reflect on: that by think­ing what a condition I shall then wish to have my soul in, I may now provide my self, much bet­ter then I have done thitherto. That while I am in the greatest probability of living, I may sup­pose my change to be near, and so not dare do any thing, but what I would or might do, if I were in the present expectation of Death. To this end, let me goe down to the Potters house, descend to the consideration of my mortality, and dwell among the Tombs: re­membring the Aegyptians built themselvs better Tombes then Houses, because they were to dwell longer in them. Let every nights repose serve me as a me­morial [Page 68]of my last sleep! and let my Bed stand for the model of my Coffin! This is the only way, to be dead to this world, to be able to judge of things now, as we shall do after death, according to immutable Eternal Truth.

X.

THe shorting of our Days is the fruit of sin. We dye be­cause we have sinned, and yet we should not sin as now, if this were not forgot, that we must dye. From the First Transgression of Adam we derive our death: and there­fore [Page 69]some of his Posterity lived longer then he. Which proves that the lengthning of our Days is the peculiar Gift of God; and yet 'tis such a Gift as was more desired formerly, then since the apearance of Christ: for we read of none in the New Testa­ment, since Life and Immorta­lity is brought to Light by the Gospel, who desired a long con­tinuance here on earth. Were we delivered from sin, the sting of Death, by having made our peace with God in the Bloud of Jesus, Death would not be fright­full, or put on such a ghastly vizor, as to most it doth. But we are uncertaine of our Justifi­cation, we waver between hopes and Fears as to our Final Senten­ce; and are conscious to our selvs that we are not ready for our great Acount. This makes Death [...]o terrible. Considering with all [Page 70]that it is inevitable: the way of all the Living. For tho the curs be removed, and the sting be taken out by our H. Saviour; so that the Souls of Believers are safe, and shall not be toucht by the second Death: yet God hath not taken away the stroke of it from the Body: tho a Christian is assured of deliverance from Hell, he is not exempted from the Grave, as his passage to Hea­ven.

Prepare me, Lord! by the free Remission of all my sins, and make me meet for the Blessed In­heritance, by sanctifying grace; and then thy Time is best; Thy Holy will be done. No matter then, wither my Death be violent, or what we call Naturall. It will be one of the two, for I can't ex­pect to be Translated, by a mira­culous change, as Holy Enoch was, and as they shall be, who [Page 71]shall be found alive at the world, when our Glorious Judge shall come againe. There are but those three ways of leaving Earth: and the Three First Men of whose de­parture we read in Scripture, are Instances of all Three. Abel of a violent Death, Adam of a na­tural one, and Enoc of a Transla­tion. The variety and order of their Departure, as one obser­ves, is very admirable, and de­serves to be considered. For all mankind must follow one or other of those three Examples. Every man or woman, that is born into the world, must leave it by one of those three ways, Either be cut off by a violent Death, as Abel, the first man who dyed: or dye a Natural Death, as Adam did, who was the second: or be translated, as Enoc, who was the Third we read of.

But tho I know that within a [Page 72]few years at farthest I must leave this world by one or other of these ways; tho I have been dying ever since I began to live; am Dead to the last year, and to all the pre­ceding Portions of my Time; and know withall, that what remains will quickly passe and be gone, after the same manner; yet how have I overloved this Body, as if I should never live out of it! and set my Heart and affections on this world, as if I should never remove to another! and trifled away my precious Time and Life, as if a change would never come!

That few do seriously admit such thoughts is too evident, by the general cours and practise of their Lives. For to what hazards do men expose themselves? what pains will they take? what Incon­veniencies will they bear? with what unwearied Industry will they [Page 73]toyl and labour, to get a little money, or honour in this world, to they know not but they may be called out of it, before the end of this year? And yet the same persons are remisse and slothfull about a future Life; negligent and unconcerned about an Eter­nal state; careless and indifferent, yea sottishly stupid, about the wellfare of their Immortal Souls. Henceforward, o my Soul! what ever others do, let me resolue to live in the expectation of a chan­ge, which I know is certaine, and may be very near.

XI.

LEt me retire a little, o my Soul! and bethink my self, what a world this is: what men design and seek, and do and suf­fer: with what false and feigned Joys they are pleased, being only happy by comparison: and with what real sorrows then are afflic­ted: what innumerable disapoint­ments, sicknesses, (and as trou­blesome remedies,) dangers, labors, pains, and calamities of all sorts; multitudes groan un­der, and lodely complaine of: and what little unworthy ends are pursued by all that do not serious­ly seek Eternal Rest? and how often frustrated? and withal con­sider the cares that disquiet us, the errors that deceive us, the many Temptations that assault and overcome us: how busie we [Page 75]are about vanities, how often de­jected; and melancholy for the breaking of a bubble, how eager and industrious to pursue a sha­dow; active and in earnest to de­stroy our selvs, and one another; and then reflect on the malice, and cruelty, the filthiness, and impiety, and great corruption, which abounds every where; whereby God is dishonored and provok't to anger. After this what a Theater of Tragedies, must this world appear? what an Hospital of sick, and diseased, or rather distracted Persons? How should I be tempted to say, Lord! why hast thou made all men in vaine? If I could not look from this sea of troubles, to the Haven of Rest: from this dark Prison, to the Region of Light: from this deceitfull, troublesome, and defiling Earth, to a Blessed, Everlasting Heaven. For verily, [Page 76]if there be no world but this, every Man in his Best estate in this world, is altogether vanity, Se­lah. 39. Ps. 5. 'Tis a certaine undoubted Truth, the prefixed verily tells us so; and that it de­serves to be well considered, we learn from the concluding Selah. Every man is vanity. Not the In­ferior parts of the Creation only, But man the Lord of all and Eve­ry man, every Adam from him­self, to the last man that shall by ordinary generation descend from him. Not the Ignorant, poor or wicked only, but all the Indivi­duals of this Species. Young or old, strong or weak, beautifull or deformed, rich or poor, high or low, good or bad, in respect of the Body, and this present Life, every one is vanity; and this is true, suppose him in his Best Estate, not only in helpless In­fancy and childhood, or in de­crepit [Page 77]old age not only in paine, and poverty, and disgrace, but in his most setled, most flourishing, most envied, and admired condi­tion upon Earth, in the midst of strength, and wit, and honour; when at best, as to body, and mind, and outward Circumstances; when he looks fairest, when he shines brightest; in the height of all his glory, with the greatest likelyhood of a Continuance: yet then he is but vanity. In his fra­me, in his temper, constitution, inclinations, actions and imploy­ment; he is a meer shadow, an empty mutable inconsiderable thing, and not to be acounted of. His Heart, his head, his imaginations, reasonings, de­sires, purposes, projects, hopes, and fears, are all vanity; and al­together vanity, in all the parts, and kinds, and particulars of it. He not only may be, but he is so, [Page 78]in his best estate: if this world be his Best; If this be our all; and nothing more to be expected af­ter death. And how should such a Reflexion strike me to the Heart, to suppose that after a few years are ended I must return to my first nothing, and my very being be swallowed up of Eternal Death! V [...]d. Mr. Howes va­nity of Man as Mortal. what satisfaction can I then take in any present Injoy­ments, if an eternal annihilation be at hand when I must bid adieu for ever to all that I now possess? What delight can I have in the ordinary comforts of Life, with this belief, that within a year or two, it may be to morrow, I shall sink into dust, and exist no more? What pleasure in any thing with this dismal expecta­tion? The more flourishing my condition in this world, the more should I dread to lose it, if no­thing, better nothing at all, [Page 79]can be injoyed after Death. Some Philosophes have igno­rantly urged such a consideration as an Antidote against the fear of Death: but the admission of it may rather deprive a man of all the Comfort of Life. What then is the advantage of a wise man above a Fool? the exercize and improvement of our noblest Fa­culties would render us more mi­serable then others, if nothing be expected, and certaine, when this Life is over. Not only sen­sual but Intellectual Pleasures would be disturbed and destroied by such Thoughts; that very shortly, the next Year, or Day, I must disappear; and all my Injoy­ments and Hopes be utterly and for everlost, with my very Being. Were the case thus, (which such Consequences evince it is not,) it were better for most men they had never been born; wither [Page 80]their condition here be Prospe­rous, or Afflicted. For what Comfort or quiet can any man have in Plenty and Prosperity, when this frightfull apprehension of an approaching end is ever present? and what consolation can it yeild a man who is afflicted and Calamitous, and yet loves his Life above all things; to think that he shall not ceas to be mise­rable, but by ceasing to be? And what is become of all Religion, if such a thought be entertained? all devotion to God is therby ex­tinguisht, all the restraints of vice removed, the floud gates of Im­piety, opened, the encourage­ments of vertue, the rewards of Holiness, the foundation of Pa­tience in Tribulation, and suffe­ring for Righteousness sake; all at once taken away. Lord! con­firm my belief of the invisible fu­ture state of Rewards and Pu­nishments! [Page 81]and let not Saddu­ceism and Infidelity damp my zeal in thy service, or rob me of the comforts of this Life, which, if I have any solid ones, must suppose the hopes of a Better. Let others therefore, o my Soul! who ex­pect not an Everlasting Heaven beyond the Grave, place their affections on Earthly things and mind this world, as if there were no better, no other. Let them who doubt, or disbelieve the promised rewards of Eternity, take up with what they must shortly leave, and labor for the Bread that pe­risheth. But since I profess to be­lieve and seek the Life Everlas­ting; let me dayly intertaine my self with the hopes of it, and let all the flattering dreams of what is desireable upon Earth, give place to nobler and better Thoughts. Let me derive my principal Joy, from the promise [Page 82]and expectation of that future fe­licity, and indeavor nothing more then a meetness to pertake of it. O my God, my God! thou art my Life and Joy, and Portion; in thee, and in thy love, all my de­sires, and hopes are answered, and all my wants supplied. How ever Evill this world is made by sin, yet thou art the infinite and supreme Good. How mutable, how uncertaine, how perishing soever are all sublunary things, yet thou art the rock of Ages, the fountaine of Everlasting Life, and hast apointed another world, and another Life, when this is ended, wherein thou wilt be better known, and loved, and served, and honored, and communicate thy self more abundantly then now, to those the desire of whose souls is towards thee, that believe and love thee, that partake of thine image, and are devoted to [Page 83]thy fear. The assurance of this and nothing els, will answer the objection of the present vanity and misery we are subject to.

XII.

HAth divine Patience added one year more to the number of my Days, when so many others were removed by Death the last year? Others, whom a few mo­neths since I knew in vigorous health; wiser, stronger, more [Page 84]likely to live, and to answer the ends of Life then me: some of them, my near Relations, and usefull Friends; in whose con­verse I took delight, and promi­sed my self advantage by their Company and Exemples; But they are taken, and I am left. Thy Holy will, o Lord! is done: and they, who were prepared, are infinite Gainers by this my loss. Quicken my preparations by following their piety, to meet them in thy Heavenly Kingdom. Let thy long suffering lead me to Repentance; and suffer me not to slight thy warning by the death of others, to expect my own. Lord! cure my Earthly minded­ness, and practical unbelief? and by all such admonitions of thy Providence, teach me to possess, and use this world; as knowing I must shortly leave it, and let not the thoughts of my mortality [Page 85]wear off, assoon as the funeral of my Friends is over.

Every year some or other of our Acquaintance drop into the Grave, we attend them thither, and lament, it may be, for a few days, their departure and remo­val; but consider not, that others will ere long do the same for us; it may before this year is ended. Oh how soon do we forget our deceased Friends, and our selvs, who are likewise dying! and count upon a long life, which we can­not reasonably expect! and hug the injoyments of this transitory world, as if our present state would last for ever! Will nothing but our own dissolution effectual­ly convince us of our mistake, and folly, in this perticular?

Tho the arrows of Death flye continually round about us; so­metimes over our heads, when Superiors are taken away; some­times [Page 86]fall at our feet, when Chil­dren and Servants and inferiors dye; sometimes on our left hand, when an Enemy is cut off; and while I am pleased with that, in that very hour, it may be, an­other arrow on our right hand strikes the Friend of our bosome and delight: and can we see all this, that great and smal, high and low, friends and foes are all vanity, and drop down dead round about us; and shall we not consider, that we are as vaine as they, and must shortly follow? shall we not by a Christian Chymi­stry extract Spirits out of thes dead Bones? and by thes Exam­ples learn the End of all Men, and lay it to heart?

When ever I see the funeral of another, let me think thus with my self; why might not I have been that man or woman, that is now carried to the Grave? [Page 87]If we had been compared a few days since, 'tis probable I should have been thought as likely to have been his monitor by dying first as he mine. By such an im­provement of thes warnings, the request of Dives to Abraham were in great measure granted; for 'tis a call from the dead that speaks loudly to us, to consider our selvs, and prepare in time for so great a change: and say, as the Prophet to Hezekiah, Set thine house in order, for thou shalt dye.

Can we look upon a Deaths-head, and not remember what we shall shortly be? may not much be learnt from its common motto? Sum quod Eris, Fueramque quod Es. I am that which thou shalt shortly be, and have been that which thou art now: that is, I have been as gay and jocund, as brisk and merry, as proud and [Page 88]vaine, as rich and great, as ca­reless and secure, as honourable and as much esteemed, as beau­tifull and as well beloved, as witty and as learned, as thou art or canst be now. I valued my self as much upon my estate, and trade, and health, and beauty upon my education, profession, imployments, parts, friends, family &c. as thou hast ever done, or canst doe: I lived in ease and pleasure, in mirth and jollity; I minded the world as much, and indulged my self as much in sen­suality; and was as carefull of my body, and pampered and pleased my flesh as much as thou, and thought as little of a sudden death, and prepared as little for such a change, as thou dost: but now my dry Bones are lookt upon with contempt and scorn, but thou shalt shortly return to dust, and be as vile as I am.

It cannot but affect us, did we consider it, to see Divers snatcht away in their Youth, and out­ward Prosperity; and in the midst of their sin and folly, without any visible signs of true Repentance: or in terrible anguish and hor­ror for their past crimes: and yet how few do take the warning, carefully to prevent the like un­happiness? O Lord! preserve those strong Convictions, those serious thoughts, those holy Re­solutions, those lively apprehen­sions of the Life to come, of the Evill of sin, and the Terrors of thy wrath, which the Sight of dying persons hath at any time awakened in my soul! O the Elo­quence of a dying sinner to per­suade to Repentance! even when he hath lost his speech, and lays gasping, and trembling, on a bed of sickness; breathing out his last faint breath, and passing into [Page 90]the other world, to answer for the crimes and follies of a wicked Life! Lord! revive thes thoughts upon my soul, and let me feel the power and influence of them, in the hour of Temptation, and in every time of need! And let the consideration of the death of Be­lievers, the Blessedness they are thereby entred into, and the Holi­ness they are to posses'd of, quic­ken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow. When I think where they are, and what they are doing, what is their work, and what their state, what their continual imployment, and what their Injoyments; and how dif­ferent from ours: I cannot but wish to be with them: to be as they are, and do as they do, to know and love and praise God as they. They are not hindred by such a clog as this body is to us; or tempted by their senses, appe­tite, [Page 91]and fancy, to sin against him: they complaine not of a se­ducing flesh, unruly passions, low and disordered thoughts, of Tem­poral afflictions, spiritual deser­tions, the snares of the world, and the malice and subtility of the Devil: we who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties, and storms which they are freed from. They are now rejoycing in the light of God's countenance, and shall never question his love more, while we are in Tears and sor­rows, groaning to be delivered.

But think, o my soul! that they were lately such as we are now. They were members of the mili­tant Church, before they entred into joy and Triumph. They had their conflicts and difficulties, their hour of Temptation, and time of trial, as we have ours. They were slandered, and per­secuted, [Page 92]and sadned, and dis­apointed, as their Followers are: They went to Heaven the same way, and got the victory after the same manner, by Repentance, and Faith, and humble perseve­ring Obedience. They were once imperfect as we are now; and complained of the Body of Sin and Death, and struglings of un­mortified lust, as we doe: and were sometimes in the dark about their intrest in the promise, and walkt heavily by the hiding of God's face, and indured Temp­tation, even as we. And as we have nothing to doe, or suffer, but what they met with; we have the same encouragement, that administred to their support: the same God and Saviour, the same way and rule, the same assistance, by the aids of his H. Spirit, off­red us; the same promises, and the same rewards proposed, which [Page 93]they injoyed, first in faith and hope, and afterwards in fruition. Yea they pass'd thro the dark val­ley, and so must we: their Earthly Tabernacle was dissolved, and so must ours be. We must expect to goe the same way to Rest and Glory; and wait God's Time for our admission. We must finish first the work which God hath for us to doe and suffer; and then all Tears shall be wipt from our eyes, we shall grieve no more, we shall sin no more, but be as the Angels in Heaven, or as the Spi­rits of the Just made Perfect.

XIII.

WIth what Humility, morti­fication, and self denial, what seriousness, watchfulness, and resolved constancy, would every Christian live on Earth, did he act allways under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith, concerning the Life to come? We should not then grudge at a little labor, or boggle at a few difficulties in our way. What tho I meet with injuries and affronts, hardships and inconveniencies: being now in a forreign country, and every day I live, one days journey nearer my Eternal Ho­me! Shall I not patiently bear momentany sorrows, while I be­lieve I am hastening to Eternal Joys? Did I look more to the Everlasting World, should I not make the pleasing of God, in or­der to my Eternal welfare, the great Business of my Life? Should I not serve the Lord with more [Page 95]fervency of Spirit, and be better fortified against the Fears of man, who can but hurt and kill the Body, nor that neither, without the permission of God? Should I not order all my affaires, answer all Temptations, mortifie in ward Lusts, live in the Exercize of Grace, and in circumspect per­severing Obedience, in order to it? Should I not watch more over my Heart, and Lips and Ways, be more diligent to trim my Lamps, more dead to this world, more carefull to call my self fre­quently to an account, to renew my Repentance? Would not my converse be more usefull and edi­fying, my discourses more sa­vory, and full of Religion, my Prayers to God, more humble and earnest, my charity to men more unfeigned and extensive, and my preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith, and [Page 96]to such apprehensions of an Ever­lasting State? Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day, and often admit them in our civil and secular af­faires, did we repeat it frequently to our selvs, at least every morn­ing, as soon as we are awake, that we are near Eternity; this graine of Incense would perfume the whole Temple; and be an Anti­dote against inward Lust, and im­pure thoughts, against the In­fection and defilement of bad Company, and the snares of worldly Business, and do much to prevent vaine and sensual actions, and to cure vaine affections.

Did we believe it, and believe it near, should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal life, as we see men doe to get Riches? Should we not use the same dili­gence, care, and circumspection, the same prudent foresight, watch­fulness, [Page 97]and perseverance, to prevent Everlasting destruction as others doe to provide against Poverty, and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth? Should we not rejoyce as much in the pro­mise and hopes of it, as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage? Lord! I confess and bewail the weakness of my faith. How often have I concluded, and said, that Hea­ven alone is the place of Happi­ness, and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly Thíngs! How often have I resol­ved, (upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal world,) to mind this less, and to affect and seek it no more as I have done! and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still. O cru­cifie my affections to things be­low! and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life, ren­der [Page 98]me victorious over all the Temptations of this. Pardon and cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart, by greater measures of a lively Faith. That my desires may be strong and urgent; and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth, be some way cor­respondent to the important Ar­ticle. Let me live only for Eter­nity, hope for nothing but Eter­nity, design and intend nothing as my chief end, but Eternity, and seek and mind nothing in compa­raison with Eternity! Did we be­lieve it, how would every thing in this world be look't upon as eligible, or fit to be refused, as it is like to be an help, or an hin­drance, with reference to Eter­nity! we should then indeavor to do nothing unbecomming such an Expectation. Considering this world as our passage, and the invi­sible [Page 99]future world as our abiding Country; where we are to dwell forever; what ever we meet with here, wither sweet or bitter, easy or troublesome, pleasing or ungrate­full, we should not much matter, but as it relates to hereafter.

And were I certaine I should have no longer time of Trial in order to this Eternal State, then this one year, which is now be­gun; if a Messenger from God should convincingly assure of it; what would I not doe to prepare for Death, and secure the Intrests of Eternity? with what remorse and deep Repentance should I re­flect on the Follies of my past Life? with what importunate cries should I beg Forgiveness? how patiently should I bear Cala­mity, for so short a time? how little should I value the favors or frowns of men? how circumspect to improve every Season of doing [Page 100]and receiving good? how care­full to avoid Temptation, and how resolute in resisting it? Did I verily believe I had no longer time to live on Earth, then this one year at most: how insipid would be the offer of carnall mirth, vaine pastime, sensual di­versions, idle company &c.? how should I value every hour, every inch of my little Time, under the apprehension that Eternity is at hand? O my soul! shall I make no provision against the possibi­lity of such a case? is not my change as certaine, as if it were this year, as if it were to mor­row? tho I am not certaine it is so near, nor certaine but it may be. Let me then seek first the Kingdom of God, and his Right­cousness: let me fix it well, and make it clear, that I have secured my great Concern, and am ready for a sudden summons.

XIV.

I May dye this year: then all my cares and fears, if I am Rich, all my sorrows and cala­mities as to this world, if I am Poor, will die too. I may dye this year: then I shall have no more Enemies, no more sickness, and which is infinitely better, I shall sin no more. I must shortly dye, it may be, this year: but there is no other way to come to a Blessed Life but by dying, and my Sa­viour hath dyed for me, and he that believs in him, shall never see death: he lives who was once dead, yea he lives for ever more, [Page 102]and hath promised, that I shall be with him to behold his Glory. He hath the Keys of Death and Hell: He is the Resurrection and the Life, he hath removed thes thing of Death, and I need not fear a conquered Enemy. If I dye this year, I must quit the company of all my dearest Friends on earth; but I shall goe to better Company above: and if they are the friends of Christ, we shall shortly meet againe, and love one another in a better manner then now, and never more be parted. I may dye this year: my Friends, and Ene­mies may dye to. Let me injoy the one as mortal dying persons, that must ere long leave me or I them: and not fear the other, who may so soon perish, and quickly be uncapable of doing me or o­thers mischief. I may dye this year: let me not then think much of Temporal sufferings, of any Evils [Page 103]which may so soon be over. Oh what would condemned sinners in the other world give to be able to believe and say so of their suffe­rings! I may dye this year: and can I wonder that I am sometimes Sick, and in paine, and my Body out of order. Am I not mortal, and dwell in an house of clay, which must shortly moulder into dust? and is it any thing strange, that such a crasy Building doth sometimes shake, and need re­pair, and threaten a dissolution? 'Tis a greater wonder, I am any time well. That such a Body, compounded of so many little parts, and so easily disordered by innumerable accidents, should be in health, is hardly less to be ad­mired, then that an Instrument of a thousand strings should be kept in Tune. I thank thee, o Heavenly Father! for the many advantages of sickness, to weaken [Page 104]the power of sin, to humble my Pride, and cure my world­liness and sensuality, to re­duce me from wandering, to empty me of self conceit, to awaken the consideration of Death and Judgment, to impress the Thoughts of the vanity of this world, and the Eternity of the next, to assist me to mortifie the flesh, to rule my Passions, to exercise Patience, and quicken Prayer, and try my faith and love, and excite my diligence to redeem Time, and convince me of the worth and uncertainty of it, and thereby promote my prepara­tions for my final change. The Great Apostle by dying dayly, had as many victories over this world, as he lived Days. Oh that I might so far walk by the same Rule, as every day to think of providing for my last! and in health to do that which in sickness I shal wish I had done!

I may dye this year: it may be by some tedious painful Sickness, some troublesome and loathsome Disease. But God hath promised his Grace shall be sufficient: he will make my bed in my sickness: and put under his Everlasting arms, for my support; and not suffer me to be tempted above what I am able: he will increas my Patience and carry me thro the pangs of Death, and the dark valley, and when Heart and flesh fail, be the strength of my Heart, and my Portion for Ever.

I may dye this year: what if it should be by an hand of violence; if for Righteousness sake, in de­fence of the Truth, for a good Cause, and a good Conscience, and my peace be made with God, and am accused for doing well, or innocent of the Evill which is laid to my charge; there is ground enough for encouragement and [Page 106]support. Thousands of my Bet­ters have met with the like, whose names are precious & renowned. Innumerable Christians have dyed by the sentence of a Judge, with more chearfullness and Joy, then others, or it may be, then they themselvs, would have done, by the sentence of the Phisitian. The Torture of many diseases is un­speakably more formidable as to the meer paine: and for all the Rest, the Righteous Lord who loveth Righteousness, will clear my Integrity, if it may best sub­serve his own Great and holy ends: at least he will stand by and help me, when all forsake me: and if he speak Peace, and give in­ward Consolation, who can speak Trouble: and his final Judg­ment, which is near at hand, will distribute rewards and punish­ments to all, according to their works.

Suppose farther, that I should want a sepulcher, after Death. There is nothing I could better be without. If God receive my Soul, and will raise my Body at the last day, wither it putrifie and consume under ground or above it, is no great matter. They who are alive will be more concern'd in that, then I shall be; Graves are for the sake of the Living ra­ther then the Dead. The Sun, the Raine, the Air, Birds, Beasts, Worms, will all contribute to give me Burial, if men deny it. The only difference is, that it will be a little longer ere I am bu­ried. If my soul rest in the Bo­some of my Saviour, and by per­severing in the love and practise of the Truth, I have secured my Reputation with wise and Good men, I need not be sollicituos what become of my Body. My Almighty Judge will raise me a [Page 108]glorious Body, like his own, and reunite it to my soul? As easily, as certainly, as for any of those, whose Bodies were preserved in Caves and Vaults, in Proud Se­pulchers, and under stately Mo­numents.

I may dye this year: and shall not then have the satisfaction to see my Children or nearest Kind­red educated & provided for, set­led and disposed of. But is not the Everliving God the same? cannot he as well take care of them when I am gone, as now? answer all my prayers after my deceas? and exercise that Father­ly care, wisdom, and love, which shall dispose of their conditions, save them from Temptations, and supply all their wants, and exceed all my desires, in reference to them? and fullfill his Cove­nant promise from generation to generation, to the Childrens [Page 109]of them that fear him? O how weak is my Faith, that cannot trust God in so common and plaine a case!

Lastly, I may dye this year: and not live to see the Ruine of the Antichristian Kingdom, and Interest, and the accomplishment of many Excellent Promises, which concern the Rest, and Peace, and Purity, and Glory of the Churches of Christ on earth, in the latter days. But have I not deserved by my pro­voking unbelief, Ingratitude, and Disobedience, to dye in the Wilderness, and not behold the promised land, or see the Peace of Jerusalem? and will not the strugglings of Satan to support Babilon, infer a dismal night of darkness and distress, before the expected morning of deliveran­ce? so that it may now if ever be truly said, Henceforth, Blessed [Page 110]are the Dead who dye in the Lord. And if God will take me to him­self in the other world, I cannot possibly be a looser; tho I should not see the Beginnings of a New Heaven, and a New Earth, in this. However I rejoice in Hope, and pray incessantly for the Re­surrection of the Witnesses, and the rebuilding of Sion, and the more plentifull Effusion of see the H. Spirit, (the great comprehen­sive promise of the Latter Times) to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on earth: and my Faith assures me, I shall hereafter the Son of God revealed from Hea­ven, clothed with Majesty, sit­ting on a cloud, leading the Hea­venly Host, raising the Dead by his powerfull voice, summoning all the World to appear to Judg­ment, gathering his Elect, and finally destroying death, and him that had the power of it, the De­vil, [Page 111]condemning the wicked to Everlasting Destruction, but ac­quitting, honouring, and re­warding his poor members, with infinite and Eternal Blisse.

XV.

I May not live to the end of this year; God in his Providence having called me abroad, I may never see my Native Country more. Let me still remember, o my Soul! that wherever I am, I am travelling towards the Grave, and passing to another world: that I may live in all Places, as a Pil­grim and Stranger here on Earth; with Affections suited to my condition, becoming one who [Page 112]is travelling in a Strange Land. Let me bear the Inconveniencies I may meet with in this world, as Strangers in their Travells are wont to doe. Let me not repine at the ill accommodations of an Inne, where I am to lodge but a night or two: but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home, when my Pilgrimage is ended, and my Journey over. One of my dearest holy Friends, Mr. Tho­mas Bent, who dyed, at Geneva, May 10. 1683. and Fellow Tra­vellers, (whose memory will be ever precious, with those who knew him) quickly arrived to his Journeys end, and is entred into Rest betimes. Which of his Companions shall next follow, we know not, or how soon. Lord! make me apprehend the near­ness of my change in every place: and if I am prepared for dying, no matter where it be. There is no one Country farther from the [Page 113]Presence of God then another. The whole world may be consi­dered as one Great House, and the several Kingdoms and Coun­tries of it, but as different Apart­ments in the same house: and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death, then they who Travell abroad.

The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same: in some measure, Blessed be my God, I have hitherto found it so. And may I not rejoyce in God in a desart, in a Wilderness, tho all the World should forsake me; tho all the world should be against me? Should I have no other Friend or Helper; is not God, an infinite God, Enough? and without his favor and Presence; what can all this world do for me? If I am sick, and in danger of Death, among my Relations and Friends, if the comforts of the [Page 114]Allmighty do not refresh and de­light my soul, they cannot: and if I want not these in my last ago­nies, no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last, If the word and promise of God be my Foundation, an holy Hope my anchor, Christ my Pi­lot, and Heaven my Country, I shall not fail of being landed there at last. Suffer me not to forsake thee, o Heavenly Father! while I live; and do not thou forsake me, in my last Hour; and let it come when and where thou wilt! If my Blessed Saviour will receive my departing soul at death, I am not sollicitous in what Country, or part of the Earth it be.

And that I may not be unwill­ing in the flower of my Age and Time, in Youth and Strength, to leave this world; let me think often, that no one age or part of Life is more privileged against [Page 115]the stroke of Death then another. If I have done my work betimes, as my deceased Fellow Traveller had, is it not better to receive the Blessed Recompence, then to tarry longer, in a world of sin and suffering, absent from the Lord? Shall I not thereby escape a mul­titude of Temptations, sins and sorrows, which others by living longer are exposed to. If my Peace be made with God, what should make me willing to live at this distance from him? what shoul render this world so desire­able, where God is so dishonored, where I am so often tempted to displeas him, and so often yeild to such Temptations: and may I not fear least I should fall into such scandalous and greivous sins, that may bring a publick re­proach on the Gospell of Christ, and sadden the Hearts of all my Aquaintance who love the Lord [Page 116]Jesus in sincerity. And tho I should maintaine my Integrity, yet in this world my highest love and obedience to God, and my swee­test communion with him, is but imperfect. How many Impedi­ments and Diversions do I dayly meet with, that deaden my Heart to Heavenly contemplations and affections? what disapointments and sorrow full disasters, to con­vince me this is not the place of Rest and Happiness? what smart Afflictions may some of my Rela­tions prove? what dangerous sna­res may attend me in the remain­ing Portion of my Time? what opposition and hatred from men may the stedfast professing of the Truth, and fidelity to God ex­pose me to? what publick natio­nal calamities may I have my share in &c.?

But if I consider old Age it self, which we doe desire to reach, what [Page 117]and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs, and troublesome Cir­cumstances which attend that sta­te, which dying young will pre­vent? are not most men who reach a very great old Age, helpless ob­jects of Pitty? a Burden to them­selvs, and to all about them? And, (which commonly happens,) may I not then be as unwilling to dye, as at present? as loath then to leave the world as now, tho in a manner it will have left me? for how many old men, past the re­lish of sensual Pleasures, are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life!

Have I not been told by Hea­thens, as well as Christians, that 'tis not the length of Time but its improvement, that doth really make a Long Life? If I have anfwered the ends for which I were born, 'tis not too soon to dye. No man ever miscarried as [Page 118]to his Everlasting Intrest, because his Life was short, but Evill. He that is prepared for Death, hath lived long enough: and should thank God for a speedy call to the possession of that Felicity, which the Holiest Saints on Earth desire and breath after. Gideon lost no­thing by returning from victory, while the Sun was yet high. If I have wrought but a few hours in the vineyard, and done but a little service for my Lord and Master; and yet am dismist, and reward­ed, before the Rest of my Fellow Laborers, shall I repine, and think my Lord doth not be friend me? If he hath any farther Ser­vice for me, he will prolong my days, and make me diligent, I hope, and contended. Otherwise I pray he would make me rea­dy to dye, and make me willing, and desirous to depart this Life. For to be only content to dye, [Page 119]that I may be perfectly Holy, and fully Blessed, is me thinks too low for a Christian who acts like himself, believing the Certainty of his anowed Principles and Hopes, and knowing that while we are present in the Body, we are absent from the Lord.

XVI.

AL that is in the World, saith the Apostle, is the Lust of the Flesh, the Lust of the Eyes, and the Pride of Life. The dust and ashes, of our own mortality duely considered and applied, will help to dead and extinguish [Page 120]each of thes. By Pride of Life, we lift up our selvs against Hea­ven, and despise our Maker: by the lust of the Flesh, we overlove and indulge the body, and study to gratifie the sensual Appetite: by the lust of the Eyes, our Desi­res are immoderate after Tem­poral and External Goods. The thought of our approaching End hath a tendency to oppose and mortifie these Lusts: to humble us before God; to take us off from the inordinate love of the Body; and to moderate our passions to Earthly Things. It may help us against Pride, by showing us the infinite distance between the E­ternal self-sufficient God, and such poor Dust as we: who are but of yesterday, and if he up­hold us not, and maintaine our souls in life, shall be laid in the dust to morrow. It will mind us of his Justice against Sin, the [Page 121]Parent of Death, and of all the miseries of our mortal state; and convince us of our weakness to resist his will, or avoid his wrath. As to our fond affection to the Body, it may instruct us, that it de­serves not to be so much accoun­ted of; it will open our eyes to discern the preference of our Im­mortall souls, and what concerns them, to the interest of a perishing Body. It may convince us, that we are cruel and unkind to our very bodies, by overloving them, because we thereby contribute to their Eternal sufferings: and so teach us to love and use our bo­dies, as Servants to our Souls in this world; and as expecting to share in Glory with them, after the Resurrection. It may also help to moderate our desires after Earthly Good, and so cure the Lust of the Eyes, by letting us see the vanity, uncertainty, and short [Page 122]duration of these things, and their insufficiency to make us Happy, and give us true Content.

The Thoughts of an approa­ching change may, if any thing will do it, damp the mirth of the Luxurious Epicure, and strike him into a fit of trembling, as did Belshazzar's handwriting on the wall. It may discover the distrac­tion of living in pleasure, and of care to please the senses, and the fleshly appetite, when the End is so near. If may likewise check the folly of Ambitious Designs: that men should make so much a doe to get into slippery places, from whence they may so easily fall. Where being puft up with vaine applause, they forget them­selvs and their latter end, till their Life, and Glory expire to­gether. Where are now the Great, and Mighty, and Honorable, who have made such a noise in the [Page 123]world? what is now the difference between the dust of an Alexan­der or Caesar, and that of their meanest slaves or Captives? Could their dignities and earthly Glory preserve any of them, from the stroke of Death, or the Judg­ment of God, or without Repen­tance, from his condemning Sentence?

Think, o my Soul! how little it will shortly signifie, wither I have been known and honoured among men or no; any farther then God may be glorified by it. How should it suppress vaine Glory? to think of being one day esteemed, and worshipt, reve­renced, and applauded by dying men, and laid in the Grave the next? Let me rather seek that Glory and Honour, to which Immortality is annext: and labor to be accepted with God, at whose Bar I must be judged, endeavor­ing [Page 124]to keep the testimony of a good conscience: and then it is not much wither I pass thro good Report or Evill Report: no con­tempt, or frowns, or threatnings of men need then discourage me. Tho I should be trampled on by the foot of Pride, while others are happy in a dream for a little while; and it may be have a pros­sperous passage to damnation; I'le rather thank God for deli­vering me from their Tempta­tions, and giving me the oppor­tunity, and call, to hasten my Preparations for a Better World. Let God dispose of my Condition here, and Reputation too, as best shall please his Sovereign will: only be pleased to keep me upright, and to preserve me from Everlasting shame and confusion of Face, after the general Re­surrection, and final Judgment! vouchsafe me a portion now in [Page 125]thine approving love, and own me for Thine at last, in the Great and Terrible Day of Reckoning; that then I may hear the Blessed Euge, and enter into my Lords Joy!

XVII.

ARe the years of my Life but few, and they hastening to a Period, and may this be my last? Let me not then greedily covet riches and abundance, and wast my little time to scrape together large Provisions, for many years to come; when I have no assurance [Page 126]to see the end of this. Is it beco­ming such a belief, to toyl from day to day, that I may lay up that which I must so soon leave? as if I were to spend and Eternity here on earth? and in the mean while neglect the one thing Necessary. Am I not upon the shore of Eter­nity? may not the next tide carry me off? and shall I spend my whole Life in Diversions from the maine Busines of it? have I nothing els to doe, but to gather shells, (if they were Pearls the absurdity, were still the same) and pile them upon heaps, till I am snatcht away past all Recovery? Shall I be re­gardless of an Eternal State, and run the hazard of being undone for ever, by sollicitous care about pretended Necessaries for a long abode on Earth? Much less for superfluities; when I am not cer­taine of the possession, this one year? Shall I magnifie and ad­mire [Page 127]what is so soon to be parted with? value my self upon thes things, so as to despise those that have less, and envy such as have more, and suffer my mind to be distempered, and my passions im­moderate on every change of these things? Tho I know besides my own mortality, that to inforce the argument, there is a princi­ple of Corruption in all these things; that our very Manna here in a little while will stink, and Bread, which is the staff of Life, moulder, our richest garments wax old and rot, silver and gold rust, and the greatest Beauty wi­ther, and every thing that is Earthly decay and perish. And shall not this teach me to sit loose from all such Things? Can I ima­gine, that in my last hour it will be easier to part with much, then little? or better in the day of Judgment to have a great Estate [Page 128]to answer for then a lesser one? We read concerning the Pa­triarch Abraham, (who rightly understood the transitory nature of riches, and his own mutable Condition,) that the only pur­chase he made with his riches, was a Grave: choosing to take possession of the land promised him, rather by a mark of his par­ting with it, then of his Possessing it. Did I think oftner and more seriously, o my Soul! of tarrying here but a littte while; I should more easily be persuaded, that a little of this world were sufficient to carry me thro it. I should consi­der more that my Heavenborn soul is made and designed for another, an endless World; and therefore should not so far forget his own People, and Fathers house, as eagerly to pursue and seek what is suited only to the Body, for a little while, and whereof a little [Page 129]with Contentment will be suffi­cient.

The same Reflexion may be usefull to contract our Thoughts to present duty; that we may not perplex our minds with long de­signs and projects; which if we dye this year, will come to no­thing. Our great Business in this world is adapted to the little por­tion of Time, which is allowed us. Not that good Designs for the publick Benefit, may not be be­gun by one, and finisht by others: or that we are not obliged pru­dently to provide for those who shall come after us, by attempting many Things of probable Ad­vantage to Posterity. But consi­dering the shortness, and uncer­tainty of Life, not only should the most necessary Things be first minded, and not put off by pro­secuting such designs as may signi­fie some what to others, when we [Page 130]are dead: but we should not now omit that which we may hope to compass ourselvs, to begin such things, whose accomplishment must depend on the Pleasure of our successors. Consideration and faithfull Counsell would in this case have prevented the fruitless expence of many mens Time and Money, which if otherwise im­ployed might have turned to good account to themselves and others.

And this heightens our folly, that while we pursue great pro­jects in reference to this world, and dye without effecting them, our preparations for Eternity are neglected: and so we are suddenly cut off in the midst of our Folly, and all our Thoughts perish: how easily, how soon may they do so! the difference and distance be­tween Death and Life, being no more then that of a Candle light­ed, [Page 131]from its being blown out, and if it is exposed to all winds, how quickly may that Happen?

XVIII.

IN this world we begin a Year, and quickly come to the end of it; and ere long the little number of our years, and days, will be expired. But when death conveys us into the World of Spirits, the day of Eternity shall never be closed with an Evening. Of how fearfull consequence is that Death, by which an Eternity must be decided! What atten­tion, what seriousness, what di­ligence, what care, doth the de­cision of so important a matter [Page 132]call for! ETERNAL! what will be the next word, o my soul! how much am I concerned to know it! will it be Blessedness, or Misery? will it be Life or Death? This one word is the Joy of An­gels, and the Horror of Devils; the unspeakable Delight of bles­sed Saints, and the confusion and Despair of condemned Sinners.

At the Creation of the World, Time got the start of us, and was five days elder then we: but our Immortal Souls shall indure be­yond the utmost limits of Time, and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits, of whose du­ration there is no end. Shall I then exist and live, tho my Body perish and see corruption? Shall my soul, my self exist beyond the Grave, in Felicity or Misery, and that for ever and according to my present Actions? what am I then most concerned to mind? [Page 133]what am I to choose? What am I most to fear, to wish, to do? What is a shadow of honor and reputation among dying men? What are a few drops of fleshly Pleasure for a moment, to eter­nal Rivers of Pleasure, at God's right hand? What are the suf­ferings of an hour or two, to the pains and anguish of Eternity? What can the World, Flesh, or Devil give me, comparable to Eternal Life? What can I suffer in the way of Holiness, that may be set in the balance against an Everlasting Hell? And yet how often, o my soul! how boldly, how unconcernedly, how foo­lishly, do I hazard the one, and forfeit the other, for the sins and vanities of this world! Whereas one prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Tempo­ral appear little in my eyes: the highest elevation of earthly [Page 134]Greatness, abundance of Riches the great Affaires, Business, and Imployments of the World, Pomp, and Splendor, and Re­putation, and all that now flat­ters the senses, and the vanity of Mankind.

Oh that I could but live as be­lieving and expecting an Eternal State! as having it in my Eye, managing all my affaires with a vi­sible reference to it: discovering to all the world by my Behaviour and Deportment, that I doe in earnest believe it certaine? for be it never so Certaine, if I do not apprehend, and consider it as such, it will no more affect me then a Fable. Neither is it enough to consider it as certaine, but as Near: for the most weighty, the most terrible things, apprehend­ed as at a great distance, will little move. Thinking of the long In­terval between, the advantage of [Page 135]being exempted from such evills for so long a time, will please me more, then such distant Calami­ties will affright.

Let me therefore indeavor to impress the consideration of E­ternity at hand, more deeply on my heart: that I may walk, and live, discours, and pray, and demean my self in every thing, as near an unchangeable State. Am I not convinc't that this is Certaine, from the nature and operations of my soul, from the reflexions of Conscience, from the Righteousness of God, in his Government of the world, from the present unequal Distribu­tions of Good and Evill by his Providence, and from the plaine and frequent assertions of his Re­vealed Will? I have nothing to object, nothing to reply; but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in [Page 136]order to its influence. I find it needfull to reflect often, how near I am to such an Endless State: that in one Instant, by Death, I enter upon it: and that this instant may be as near me, as my next Thought. That the H. Scripture describes the two con­trary Conditions after death, (and every man and woman in the world shall share in one of them) as both Everlasting: the one, by Eternal Life, Eternal Glory, an incorruptible Crown, that fadeth not away, an incor­ruptible Inheritance, an House Eternal in the Heavens, &c. the other, by unquenchable Fire, a Pri­son whence no escape, Eternal Damnation, Everlasting Burn­ing, everlasting Punishment, ever­lasting Destruction, a worm that never dies, wrath that is ever to come, blackness of darkness for ever, &c.

Think, o my Soul! that in one of these two contrary States, I must abide for ever. In endless Joy, or sorrow: Blessed in the presence of God, or forever ba­nisht from it. And who ever thou art that readest this, apply it se­riously to thy self, 'tis thine own case. Yea I tell the from God, that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely necessary to the for­mer, and that without it thou shalt never see his face, but be punisht with Everlasting Destruc­tion from the presence of his Glory.

Is this an unquestionable Truth? O let me consider it, till I feel the power and efficacy of so important a Principle! let the im­pression be deep and lasting! let it peirce and enter into my very soul! to cool the heats of lust, to quench sensual and earthly desi­res, and to mortifie all in ordi­nate [Page 138]affections to this world; and fix my resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart!

These are not difficult and per­plexed Niceties, which wise and holy men differ and disagree about. They are not metaphisi­cal Subtleties, which few can un­derstand; but the express word of God, and the dayly dictates of my own Reason and Conscience: which all Christians, and all most all men, in their wits, except in an hour of great Temptation, confess and own; or whither they will or no, are forc't to expect and Fear, if they are not in a con­dition, to consider them with a joyfull Hope.

Lord! cure the unbelieving doubts concerning these Great things, which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence, the Devil may at any time suggest! let a con­firmed [Page 139] Faith, be the Reality of what is thus future, that my soul may be influenc't by them, as it is wont to be by things present! Let it be the Substance of things hoped for: and the Evidence of things unseen, and as yet at a di­stance: as if the Day of Judgment were allready come, and there were no intermediate Time to passe between this and that.

O Eternity! Eternity! the more I consider it, the more un­fathomable still I find it. Unchan­geable Blessedness, or remedi­less Endless Torments! An Eter­nall blissfull Day, or Everlasting Horror, Darkness, and Despair! Life or Death, Glory or Destruc­tion, to last as long as the Immu­table Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest ar­rived to the period of a Thousand years, which in comparaison of God's Everlastingness is set forth [Page 140]but as one day. But strictly con­sidered, millions of years and ages have no proportion with it; because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity. Whereas one hour hath some proportion to an hundred thou­sand years, because a certaine number of hours will amount to so many years. But no number of years or Ages, never so often multiplied, will make up Eter­nity: as no substraction of Mil­lions of years will lessen it: an in tire Eternity will be still to come, and will ever be to come. When innumerable myriads of years are past, Eternity shall then seem but to begin; because when as many more are over, it shall be as far from an end. Oh that the Thoughts of Eternity may be po­werfull and prevailing above all others! that I may Judge of every thing by its relation to it, by its [Page 141]influence upon it! Chuse now, o my soul! whither Everlasting Joys, or Miseries, shall be my Portion: but consider well, that thine E­ternity is concerned in thy pre­sent choice: and that this choice must be pursued with stedfastness and Constancy, as long as I live: and what are a few years to prepare for an Eternal State: were we obliged to spend several hun­dred years in serious humble pre­paration for it, with the greatest strictness and severity of Life, du­ring all that Time; it were infi­nitely less then to spend an hour or two, in preparing for the grea­test Dignity and Imploy on Earth, which can be injoyed but for a few years at longest. For to these an hour hath some propor­tion; but an hundred or thousand years have none, with an Ever­lasting Duration. Therefore to consider how many years of toyl, [Page 142]and pains, and diligence, many bestow on the probable prospect of some Temporal Good: should reprove and shame my negligence and remisness in providing for Eternity!

XIX.

THe Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom, the entrance into the way of Life, as it is ordinarily one of the first means to awaken the soul to a se­rious concern for Eternity? let me therefore first consider the Endless Punishment of the wick­ed, in the other world, before I [Page 143]enter upon the Ravishing Pro­spect of the Blessedness of Hea­ven, promised to the Righteous. And with what serious trembling d [...]ld I think of the Terrors of [...] Everlasting Destruction, which [...] Lord shall be revealed from Heaven to render, to All who know not God, and obey not the Gospel. When the wicked shall goe away into Everlasting Punish­ment; as the righteous into Life Eternal. The Dreadfulness of that Punnishment, the endless Duration of it, joyn'd to the con­sideration of its unquestionable Certainty, deserves the most at­tenitve Thoughts of every man, who loves his soul, and would manifest he doth so, by securing his greatest Interest.

The description of that mise­ry, under insupportable and E­ternal Torments, demands more then a transient view: because no [Page 144]words can sufficiently express the Horror of that State. What is it, o my soul! to be banisht from the Blessed Sight and Presence of God for ever, and all the Im­pressions of his holy Image and likeness? and to know that this is the fruit of my own choice, that I lost it by my own Fault and Folly; that I deserved to lose it; that the sentence is as Just, as it is irrevo­cable? Who can fully imagine the dismal Despair of a condem­ned Sinner, under this anguish of a Guilty self-accusing Mind? while under the stroke of God's Allmighty revenging Justice; with a distincter view and know­ledg, then now, of God and his Excellencies, of himself, and his own vileness and malignity, which must greatly increas his rage and Torment: add to this, his being inraged by the accusa­tions and cries of wicked Ac­quaintance, [Page 145]and Relations: and his being mockt, and insulted over, and tortured, by malicious damned Spirits; with a clear un­derstanding of that glorious Fe­licity he despised, refused, and forfeited; with a deep sense of his former Madness in preferring the sinfull Pleasures and Advan­tages of this world: and this after so many warnings, and invita­tions, and calls from God, to have prevented it; never to be di­verted one moment from the consideration, sense and feeling of his misery, and the duration of it; to have all his Passions let loose with the greatest violence and nothing to satisfie them; and continually to preserve an Hell of wickedness and Horror in him self; and to indure the reproaches convictions, regrets, & stinging Reflexions of Conscience, the Gnawing worm, which shall never [Page 146]dye? who can conceive the unspea­kable misery of such an accursed State? So great Calamity, & yet Everlasting! How long doth one Day or Night now seem, to a man, under some violent racking Paine, in any one part of his body, tho he be under the means for cure, and have his friends about him to pitty, comfort, and assist him, with the hopes of ease in a little while, and the certaine knowledg that it cannot last long? Vide Mr. Baxters Saints Rest. part. 2. chap. 4. Oh what then will be the dismal state of tormented sinners in Hell! how infinitely must it exceed the most Terrible Idea we can now frame of it! to languish out a long Eternity in that Gulph of Darkness and Despair, under unpitied intolerable Torments, without Intermission, or hope of End! Miseries without measure! Judgment without Mercy! Pains and sorrows intense, and yet End­less! [Page 147]without the least succour or relief, relaxation or remedy, di­minution or change! without a drop of Comfort, without a mo­ments Rest, without the smallest beam of Light, or the least glim­mering of Hope! Perpetually dying, and never dead! under unsufferable Wrath, which yet will be for ever Wrath to come! seeking Death, and never able to find it, but Eternally to indure all that Calamity, which the Con­junction of Death and Life toge­ther can render dreadfull! what Groans and Cries will these Thoughts, and these sufferings wring from their Hearts? But no Refuge will then be found, no excuses admitted, no prayers, no intreaties will then prevail, no Tears move pitty. He that made them will show them no mercy, and he that formed them will show them no favor. When once deli­vered [Page 148]over to that prison of God's wrath, they shall no longer be prisoners of Hope. Judgment shall be brought forth unto final victory: and the Redemption of the soul shall cease for ever.

Might we but suppose, that one of those Miserable Souls in the place of Torment did let fall but one Tear, in an hundred thou­sand years; and if after he had by this means wept so much, as that his Tears would equall the drops of water in the whole Sea, his Misery should have an end; this were Hope, this were Comfort. But alas! after that period, his Misery will be as far from an end, as when he first began to feel it. It will then be but the Beginning of sorrows, which will never, never, never End.

Think, o my Soul, that this is the Portion of the Sinners Cup: this is the wages of Sin: and the certaine doom of final Impeni­tence [Page 149]and unbelief. 'Tis no po­litick Cheat, or melancholy dream, but the express repeated word of God, and Christ, the holy Prophets, and Apostles. and the voice of Reason too, sup­posing but the Immortality of the soul, and the power of self-Re­flexion: the punishment of Sin­ners must needs be Everlasting, as carrying continually an Hell within them, unless God work a miracle to prevent it, which there is no ground to imagine he will, or shadow of reason why he should. God hath pawn'd his Truth, and his Eternity, Deut. 32. c. 40, 41. to exe­cute this sentence of his threatned wrath. He is a God of infinite mercy, 'tis true, but he hath told us how far his Mercy shall ex­tend. He will not exercise one Attribute to the dishonor and the disparagement of the rest. That obstinate and impenitent [Page 150]Sinners, shall thus perish, is not because the Goodness and mercy of God are not infinite, but be­cause his other Perfections are so, viz. His Holiness, Justice, Truth, Soveraignty, and wisdom. Was it wisdom and goodness to annex such a penalty to the violation of his law, and can it be inconsistent with them, to inflict his threatned wrath? Shall we suppose God to uphold his dominion and go­vernment by a Falshood? to keep the world in awe by the menaces of such Punishments, as shall no where, never be executed? Is it unlikely, that God should exer­cise so much severity? and is it not as improbable, that his repeated word & Oath should prove fals? Is it not a righteous thing with God, as the Governor of the World, thus to punish the obstinate Des­pisers of his Grace? who slighted his Authority, disobeyed his Law, [Page 151]affronted his Soveraignty, derided his Power, denied his Truth, contradicted his Holiness, and joyn'd issue with the Devill, to pull him from his throne; who abused his Patience and Long suf­fering, and scorned all his threat­nings; who thrust away their own Happiness, and would not take warning; who burst all his bands a sunder, and broke thro all ob­structions, and would not be stopt in their course of vanity and folly, or so much as consider their danger; who rejected his calls to Repentance, and refused his mercy, when it was offered; and prefer'd a Lust before his favor, and the pleasures and profits of this world before the Heavenly Glory; and notwithstanding all the methods of his Grace, and the checks of his Providence, and of their own Conscience, they would goe on, they would [Page 152]Dye? Let me, o my soul! adore the Soveraign Justice of God in all his Judgments; and tremble at the threatnings of that Eternal Wrath, which so few consider or believe, till 'tis too late. Let the foresight and the fear of such an intolerable endless Punishment, be a means to save me from it! let me herein read the Evill of sin, and learn to abhorr and avoid it. Let me pitty, and warn, and counsel, and pray for those of my Relations and Acquaintance, who live in sin, and run the ha­zard of this Eternal Ruine. Let me not envy the foolish Mirth, and momentany Prosperity of the wicked, whose present Joy must ere long expire, and an Ever­lasting Destruction succeed in its room. Job. 20. c. 4.5. How short is the Joy of the Hypocrite, and the Triumph of the wicked is but for a moment. Let me fear and dread every [Page 153]thing, that leads to this dismal issue: and improve every thing that may help me to escape it. And by consequence, let me less va­lue all the Good and Evill of this present Life: judge of all things by this light: be patient under Temporal Calamities, and thank God that it is not Hell: and thank him more, that present sufferings do help to save me from Eternal ones.

Did I believingly consider an Everlasting Hell, Qut non expergisci­tur ad hac Tonitrua, jam non dormit, sed mortuus est. S. Augu­stin. I should not think much of any thing that is required to prevent it, the se­verest exercises of Religion, the strictest Temperance, the nic [...]st Chastity, the largest Charity, the greatest selfdenial, all the Hardships of Repentance and mortification, and continuance therein to the death, tho for many years more then I am like to live, would be reckon'd Easy, as well [Page 154]as Just, if set in the balance a­gainst the Eternal Mischiefs of the Damned.

What will not men do, & suffer to prevent a Temporal Death? They will endure a painfull course of Physick; tear out their very bowells, by purges and vo­mits: and are content to be cut and scarified, and to suffer any thing almost to save their lives: but how little will they do, to be saved from the wrath to come! One would think, they should have no Rest, or Peace, or be able to live a quiet hour, till they had made some Provision against the hazard of this Eternal De­struction: and look upon all men as their Friends, or Enemies, ac­cording to the help, or hindran­ce, they received from them, in reference to it. But the direct Contrary is every where appa­rent. Men are careless and se­cure, [Page 155]jovial and merry, in the way that leads to Hell, and esteem, and love, and choose that Company, that will help to bring them to this place of tor­ment. Yea such is their stupidi­ty, and strange Perversness; that they will not suffer to be told of their danger. If you tell them, that by such a course, or such an Action, they will lose so much money, or their lives will be in in danger, they reckon it an ob­ligation, will take it kindly, and return you thanks. But when they are told by such Courses and Ac­tions, they will lose their souls, & the favor of God, & the hopes of Heaven, and must perish for e­ver; this they will not receive, they despise the message, and scorn and hate the Messenger; are displeased and angry at such Faithfulness.

O Bless the Lord, o my Soul! [Page 156]for any good hope, thro Grace of escaping this Intolerable and Endless Misery. And let all that is within me, bless his holy Name. And let me heartily compassio­nate the delusion of those multi­tudes of deceived, perishing Souls, whose Eyes are blinded by the God of this world; who will not believe it, till they are convinc't by the Light of that Fire which shall never be extin­guisht. Yea when I read or hear of ten or twenty thousand men slaine in a War, (whither of In­fidels, or Christians,) let me think of it, with other appre­hensions then formerly I was wont to doe. Considering that many, it may be the most, of these shall never have any Com­fort or Mercy more: fearing least the same sword or Bullet, that gave them their mortal wound, hath fixt them under God's Ever­lasting [Page 157]Wrath: and that by dying, they are undone for ever. In very many other cases, the Faith of this Article would rectifie my opi­nions, and direct my Actions; if seriously considered, and im­proved. This would make me think of Death, under another Notion, then 'tis commonly con­sidered. For without the conside­ration of Hell annexed to it, it is not so very formidable, but that Heathen have been able to des­pise it. The most contrary Sects among them, on different grounds have been able to do it: but con­sider Death, as a passage to Eter­nal misery, as the Gate of Hell, as the End of all Comfort to a wicked Man, and the Beginning of an Endless Calamity, and no­thing can be imagined more dreadfull to a Guilty unholy Soul. Some of my Acquaintan­ce, it may be, who dyed this last [Page 158]year, are now among those Ho­peless Despairing Wretches, who expect the final Judgment of God, to consummate their insup­portable Misery. If they were permitted to come, and tell us, what they suffer, and what they know; what a terrible consuming Fire God is; what Vanity, Lust, and Folly brought them to this place of Torment; what diligence they would advise us to, while in a state of Hope, to prevent the like; if we have any love and kindness for our selves, any bo­wells of Compassion to our own Souls; what a change do we think it would work upon us? But if we will not hear Moses and the Prophets, Christ, and his Apost­les, neither should we believe, tho one came from the Dead.

XX.

DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Ti­me? and doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend, on the Com­munications I now receive from God? on the preparations I now make, and the meetness I can now attaine for Eternal Felicity in the presence of my God and Saviour? O with what Intense­ness of mind, should I now pro­secute that glorious object! with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me? Least I fall short of the In­corruptible [Page 160]Crown of Life? how should every thing be underva­lued, and rejected, that would divert, retard, or hinder me from pursuing this end? Lord! be not a stranger to my soul in this di­stant Wilderness state! Let me see more of thy light! be trans­form'd more into thine Image! experience more of thy Love! feel more of thy vital Presence, and quickening Spirit! let the divine life in my soul be more po­werfull! and the characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it! by the dayly exercise of Faith, and Hope, and holy Af­fections, carry me thro this World! till my Pilgrim state be over, and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness! And let the believing fore­thoughts of it, fill all the powers of my soul, with Joy, and won­der, Desire, and Love!

Give me, Lord! to think a­right of the Heavenly Glory: as a confirmed State of positive per­fect holiness; of heavenly Light, Love, Liberty, and Joy: with the satisfying vision of God, in the face of Christ, and his im­pressed Likeness: dwelling for­ever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory: with compleat conformity of the soul, to Eternal Goodness, Truth, and Love, as its perfection: esteeming nothing, desiring no­thing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire subjection to his will, adherence to him, Rest and Confidence in him: swallowed up in the love, admiration, and praise of God, and our Lord Jesus: living in joy­full repeated Acts of Subjection, Adoration, and acknowledg'd Dependance: ravisht to behold the Glory of God, in the Face [Page 162]of Christ? see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints, &c. When all the present Blindness of our minds, the er­rors of our Judgment, the Per­versness of our Will, the disor­der and rebellion of our Passions, the remaining Aversation from God, and disaffection to him, which in this world we complaine of, shall all be done away. The Flesh shall no more lust against the Spirit; or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds, but an Everlasting Tran­quillity and holy Peace take pla­ce: a Peace, which passeth all understanding; without any out­ward Molestation, or inward cause of disquiet.

Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth mire and dirt as now: we shall have no more vaine or wicked Thoughts; no more sinfull Fears, or foolish Hopes; [Page 163]unbecoming Heats, unruly De­sires, sensual Inclinations, Earth­ly Affections, feeble, slothfull, Spiritless Duties, dead and heart­less Prayers cold Thanks gi­vings, &c. but as we shall then know God without Error, and see our Lord Jesus face to face, so we shall love him without re­serve, more then now we can think; and serve him without dullness and distraction; and praise him without weariness; the spiritual actings of our souls shall have no allay of drosse. And thus shall we be with him, and admire and injoy him, without end.

Thus when Death is swallow­ed up in victory, and what was im­perfect is done away, and what was corruptible and mortal hath put on Immortality; God in Christ shall be All in All, And when it is truly and perfectly so, Then it is Heaven. A Word, tho com­monly [Page 164]used, as little understood, as Holiness; which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood, by the Blessed Saints: as the Malignity, and intrinsick Evill, of Sin shall be, by the Damned Spirits.

Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun, and carried on in my soul, by a farther participation of his holy Image, and conformity to his will! by more vital effects of his indwelling Spirit, in my soul, forming it to be a Temple to him­self, for his own delightfull re­sidence! that forgetting that, which I have received, I may still be Covetous and desirous of mo­re: forgetting what I have at­tain'd, I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency to­wards the mark!

When I seriously examine my [Page 165]own heart, had I nothing els to prove the weakness of my Grace, & the sinfull remainders of unbe­lief, but the low desires, and few confortable Thoughts, the seldom joyfull prospect of this Blessed State, how sad an Evidence were it? that I breath with no more Impatience, after that Blessed holy Rest, in the injoyment of God and Christ; and labor no more in preparing for it? when all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix't on Him, and filled with him, as our Infinite and supreme Good: and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope, swallowed up in endless admiration, grati­tude, and Joy: being fully satis­fied and at Rest, in the Presence and vision of God; without the least Inclination or Desire of change. And by consequence,

There will be no need of No­velty, as now, to give a relish to [Page 166]our Happiness. All Happiness in this world is by comparing a man's present Condition, with his past, or with that of some In­feriors. But the Intrinsick Good, Felicity, and Joy of Heaven, will need no such foile to set it off; no such comparison to make it prized. The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively sense of that low and miserable Condition, from which they were raised to so great a Glory: and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonder­full change. And what was at first delightfull, will for ever be so; and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance: as it happens in this world, from the Emptiness, shallowness, and vanity of the Creature. An Affectation of va­riety, and desire of change, pro­ceeding allways from a sense of want. But Holy Souls shall never [Page 167]be weary of seeing, loving, and injoying God; his blessed pre­sence will afford us undecaying, and endless satisfaction: Pleasu­res, never to be interrupted, or abated, and never to ceas. The blessed object is absolutely Infi­nite, and so will be allways new to a finite understanding, and continual fresh Communications from his infinite fullness, must needs make our subjective Hap­piness to be allways new, & Eter­nally So.

Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent endeavors, after a greater meet­ness to injoy so Great a Bliss. And to that end consider whither any of those happy souls, who have finisht their course, and ob­tained the Prize, do now regret their utmost diligence, patience. and perseverance, during their short abode here, to secure the [Page 168]Blessedness of an Endless Life, No, no, they are far from re­penting the Time they spent, the trouble they were at, the care they used, the difficulties they met with, the sufferings they in­dured: to conflict with the world, and the flesh, to resist temptation, to watch over their Hearts, and words, and ways, to work out their Salvation, to please God, and be faithfull to him, &c. They find to their unspeakable comfort, and Everlasting Joy, that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their coming thither. Yea they find, that they were not diligent, and humble, and patient, and circumspect enough. That they did not love God, and seek his glory, redeem their Time, and improve all their Talents and op­portunities of doing and recei­ving good, and give up them­selves [Page 169]intirely to prepare for Heaven, to that degree, they should have done. They find, by the transcendency of the Blessed Recompence, that it deserved infinitely more then the most active zealous Christian upon earth did ever do, in order to it.

Lord! quicken my Resolu­tions and Endeavors, by such thoughts as these? inspire my sluggish carnal Heart, with holy Light, and Life, and Zeal, and fervor! that looking to the things, which are not seen, which are E­ternal, I may lay up a good Foun­dation, 1 Tim. 6. c. 19. against the Time to come, and so lay hold of Eternal Life!

But alas! how much have I ne­glected the great Duty of Holy meditation? how little skill and experience have I in it, how tast­less and insipid oftentimes are my [Page 170]Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady! how little Pleasure or advantage have I by contem­plaing his Highest Excellencies? Yet methinks, could I but re­taine the same awakened lively thoughts of Heaven, and Eter­nal Life, which sometimes I have had; might I continually feel the sweet and sacred Influence as for a little season I have someti­mes felt it; how little, how very a Nothing, would all this world be to me! how comparatively weak, its strongest and most all­uring snares, to draw me off from. God! with what an unshaken mind could I refuse and re­sist'em! with what an uncon­cerned indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory!

Could I maintaine such a frame of Spirit, as I have sometimes had for a little while; in the se­rious [Page 171]contemplation of divine mysteries, in fervent Prayer, and other solemn duties of Religion; when the acts of Faith were strong and lively, my heart set on fire with love to God, and holy brea­things after him, admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sin­ners; (and to my Soul in parti­lar:) when he brought me to the very suburbs of Heaven, (tho alas! how seldom,) by the de­lightfull Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above injoy; in being where Christ is, and be­holding his Glory: when I was ready to say within my self, 'Tis good to be Here: this is no other then the gate of Heaven; Oh when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life! But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations, how quickly did my lazy backward [Page 172]Heart flye off! how soon did the flame decay, and dye away! how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth againe! sunk down from the bosome of my Lord, presently forgot my self, and Heaven, to dwell among the Pots, and imbrace a dunghill! 'Twas not on my own wings, o Lord! that I soared so high: but I hope, by the breathings of that H. Spirit of Light and Love, who bloweth when, and where, and how long he listeth. Who gave me at any time any such first fruits of the Spirit; who convinc't me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance, by a lively believing foresight of it; who made me earnestly desire the wings of a Dove to be gone, and appear be­fore God in Sion; made me pant, and groan to be delivered, and to be with God, and Christ, with [Page 173]inexpressible desire and joy, un­conceivably mixt together with sighs and Groans. O my God! let not this experience be only such a Taste of the Powers of the world to come, as is consistent with final Apostacy! only the seeming zeal of the stony ground! the rapturous Joy of an hypocrite! from the power of Imagination, and an heated Fancy; from the workings of meer natural self love; upon mistaken apprehen­sions of God, and a fals Opinion of Heaven! but by the holy ef­fects, let me be assured of the cause and Principle; that it was of God!

Teach me from the sweetness of a Spiritual Communion with God now in any of his apointed Ordinances, to argue to my self what that most ravishing satis­faction will be, that the En­joyment [Page 174]of God in Heaven will afford the soul. Our Holiness is now imperfect, to what it shall be: and therefore our Consolation, Peace, and Joy, is but in part, and incomparably less then we are assured it will be, when we shall be admitted to behold the Glory of the Lord. 'Tis now at most but as the Break of Day, to the lustre of the. Meridian Sun. But if in this low imperfect State, we can sometimes obtaine so near a view of his Glory, and feel such sweet communications of his Grace; how much more of this consolation and Joy is reser­ved to Heaven? If in this Pilgrim state, the gifts and graces, and comforts of the H. Spirit are so refreshing; O what hath God pre­pared beyond the Grave, for those who love him! If now he sometimes shed abroad his love in [Page 175]our Hearts, after such a manner; how much better shall I love him, and feel the influence, and evi­dence of his Love to me, when I shall be with him, and see him face to face? If the apprehensions of this future Blessedness, do now encourage, raise, and animate my drooping soul; O what shall I know, and see, and how shall I rejoyce when the vail is removed! If a Sacramental Communion with God and J. Christ be some­times so sweet, and so affecting; what will the Blessed Commu­nion with God, and all his Saints above amount to! when I shall sit down with all the Children of God, in the Presence of the Bri­degroom, at the last Great Supper of the Lamb in Glory! If the ear­nest of our Inheritance be so re­viving, what will be the ful Pos­session of it! If the Hopes of that [Page 176]glorious day, by holy medita­tion, be so transporting; what will be the end of our Faith and Hope? If a Grape or two in the Wilderness, be such a cor­diall; what will be the whole vintage in the Land of Pro­mise!

Shall I after all this forget my own Experience, and run from God and Heaven, to imbrace or seek a perishing Toy? Shall I hide my self, with Saul, among the stuff, and lumber of this world, when God is calling me to a Glorious Crown? Art thou, o my Soul! a Kings Son, an Heir of Heaven, an expectant of such Great Felicity; and yet stoop so low? Hope for Heaven; and yet grasp this Earth, and hugg the vaine Appearances of Earthly Good? Hope to be like to God: (and oh how Glorious an Hope [Page 177]is that!) to pertake of his Image, and live Eternally with him; and yet be sollicitous, anxious, and disquieted about Honor, and money, and a Tempora! Interest? and mightily concerned about the momentany gratifications of the Flesh, and the Injoyments of this World? Art thou a Pilgrim, and Stranger here; and travelling home to the Heavenly Country, and yet Eager and passionate about Earthly Things? Should an Heart, that is set upon Hea­ven, (or may be so, and ought to be so,) should it burn with such kitchin, such common Fire? and neglect the unconceivable Ri­ches, and Pleasures, and Immor­tal Honors of the other Life? and the dawnings of that Glory upon my soul, by the foretasts of it in this? Should I not live, as seeking such things? as ex­pecting such a Glory? And are [Page 178]careless and indifferent thoughts, sleepy heartless prayers, faint and weak indeavors, becoming in such a case? Shall I not mend my pace, and double my diligence in my preparatory work? When I can believingly foresee the Blessed Recompence; Wayting for that Everlasting Light of the Sun of Righteousnes, which no Ecclipse shall ever darken or ob­scure; for that Eternal Glorious Day, which shall never be closed with an Evening. When I shall see the face of God, in Christ, and be like him, participate more of his image, rest in his love, and dwell for ever in the light of his Countenance: according to the Prayer and Promise of my Blessed Saviour. And ought not such a prospect to sweeten the Bitterness of all our intermediate sufferings? we are now oftentimes in heavi­ness, and sorrow; but Eternity [Page 179]will be enough for an interrupted Joy. When we shall exchange all our troubles for Everlasting Rest; our prisons for perfect liberty; our Poverty for the Riches of God; darkness for Light; discord for love; deformity for beauty, our weaknesses, and present lan­guishings, for strength and vi­gor; folly for wisdom; disgrace for Glory; sickness and paine for Eternal Ease and Health; the Animal for the Angelical Life; imperfection and pollution for consummate Holiness; our Sighs, and Tears, and Sorrows, and complaints, for triumphant E­verlasting Praise; our losses, af­fronts, disapointments, perple­xities, fears, groans, and Death, for crowns and scepters, hymns and Hallelujahs, light, and life, and Bliss unutterable; and such great things, as are fit for us to hope, but too Great to be now [Page 180]particularly understood and talk't of; while we know but in part, and see thro a glass darkly: yea it seems as if it were not lawfull to utter'em. 2 Cor. 12.4. and now they can not be exprest, or fully known; for Eye hath not seen, or ear heard, or can it enter into the Heart of man to conceive that pre­pared Glory.

XXI.

WHat is there in Heaven or in Earth, o Lord! but Thy Presence to be valued, loved, de­sired, chosen, sought, or de­lighted in? there is nothing in ei­ther world desireable without [Page 181]Thee; nothing certainly above Thee; nothing in Comparison with Thee. In Thee alone I trust. On Thee I depend. In Thee I re­pose my confidence and hope. From thee I expect all my felici­ty, and Salvation. What ever I can lose, yet with the continuance of thy Favor, which is my Life, I have still Enough. With that I am Rich, and without it I am poor and miserable. And if I want the Love of God, all that Heaven and Earth can give besi­des will not make my Happy. In Thee, therefore I would termi­nate all my affections, all my de­votions! There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth, but in thy favor, image, and love, and the reviving Sense of it. And all the Heaven I expect hereaf­ter, 'tis in the more full and im­mediate communications of these, in thy blessed Presence. I [Page 182]can desire nothing, upon Earth; I can injoy nothing in Heaven, but Thee! both here and there, thou art, and shalt ever be my all sufficient satisfactory Portion, my Everlasting All! None els can be the Portion of my soul. No­thing els can fill up all its wants, answer all its cravings, be suited to all its capacities, appease and charm all its restless motions, and give complacence to all its Desi­res, and be the proper object of all its Affections.

What is there els can justly claime my Love? or pretend to my supreme Affection, in com­parison with God? Thou art alone the proper center of it. Thine infinite and incomparable Excellencies, (who art Love it self,) deserve my choicest Love: and thy numberless mercies and Benefits challenge it, as a just debt: as a peice of Homage due [Page 183]from All, and of special Grati­tude also from me. Oh that I could love thee above all Things! who alone art worthy of all my Love! O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me! to inspire all my Thoughts, to regulate all my desires, to set all the Powers of my soul on work! O that it might take the full possession of my Heart, and so animate and order all my Ac­tions, to please him, whom my Soul Loveth! If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle, Lord! thou that knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee. Yet I can say, Lord, thou knowest, that I would love thee! Thou hast pro­vided for our Happiness, by that first and great command, of lo­ving thee with all our hearts, and souls, and strength. But alas! how backward is my sluggish car­nal Heart, to this delightfull [Page 184]exercise? tho I have so oft been told, that God is Love, and that he that dwelleth in love, dwelleth in God, and God in him. O shed abroad thy love into my Soul! that I may feel the vital power and influence of it, and live con­tinually in the love of God, and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it.

Whom have I in Heaven or Earth, to Hope in, but Thee? I expect more from Creatures, then they can or will perform: but God can do for me more abun­dantly, then I can ask or think: exceed my largest thoughts, out­strip my highest expectations. And no man was ever disapointed who made Thee his Hope. When I meet with crosses, and wrongs, unfaithfulness, contempt, ha­tred, and persecution from men; I need not wonder. I was never told by God, it would be other­wise [Page 185]here. Did I look for less from Creatures, and expect more from God: did I reckon this World to be a state of Trial, and not a place of Rest and Satisfac­tion: my Faith and my desires, would be stronger with respect to God, and Heaven; and tempo­ral Calamities and disapoint­ments less afflictive and vexa­tious.

And what is there, o Lord! in Heaven, or in Earth, my soul can desire besides Thee? is there any thing desireable, but as it is thine, of thee, and from thee? and bears some impression of thine Excellence, or brings some intimation of thy Love? and what can I reasonably desire; what, that is worth desiring, or having, but thou art able to be, and do, and give?

In whom, or what, shall I Rejoyce? but in Thee, o Lord! [Page 186]shall I solace my self in transitory Goods, that slip between my fin­gers, and perish in the using? or relish carnal Joys, which pollute and debase the soul? when I may and ought to rejoyce in Thee at all Times, as the only Source of perfect Everlasting Joy. Let me then stirr up my drooping, des­ponding, unbelieving Heart, to rejoyce in God: who takes plea­sure in the chearfull service and obedience of his children: who delighteth in those, who delight in him. Vid. Mr. Howe, of Delighting in God. Is not Delighting in God, a most essential vital part of Re­ligion? should it not be my con­stant Frame? hath not God suffi­ciently provided, that it may be so? Can I say and believe, that God is the Portion of my Soul; that he is my God, and I hope to live with him for ever, and not rejoyce? or can I consider the grace of the New Covenant, the [Page 187]matchless Love of Christ, and the precious promises of the Go­spel, and not see reason to rejoy­ce? yea doth my soul love God, and endeavor to please him. And is not the very act and exercise of holy Love, mixt with unspeaka­ble sweetness.

Whom is there in Heaven, or in Earth, or Hell, that I ought to Fear, but Thee? who hast a negative voice in all the designs men and Devils; an hook in their nostrils; a bridle in their mouths; to make them fullfill thy pleasure, and in every thing accomplish thy Soveraign Decree.

Is there any Other, in whom I may repose my Trust, but in Thee, o Lord! the Rock of A­ges? the might of thy Power, the unsearchableness of thy wis­dom, the Righteousness of thy Nature, the stability of thy Truth, the riches of thy Grace, and the [Page 188]immutability of thy promise, are a sure foundation, for my soul to trust to, and rely upon. Thy word stands firm for ever: and the Truth of thine ability, and readiness to help in every Time of need, endures the same thro out all Generations. At all times, and in all places, my soul may trust in thee, and find relief. And they who know thy name will do so: for in the Lord Jeho­vah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength. To answer all my doubts, to supply all my wants, to fill all my desires. May not God take it unkindly, that I trust him no more? And is it not a cri­minal unkindness? that I give him not the glory of all these Ex­cellent Attributes, which are the grounds of Trust: by a constant steady intire dependance on him for all that I need.

I have none in Heaven but [Page 189] Thee, o Lord! as the object of my Invocation and Worship. Let other Christians have recourse to new Mediators, and call upon other Gods: I will-make men­tion of thy name, and of thy Righteousness only. And ask of thee whatsoever I need, for the sake of thy Christ, my only ado­rable Mediator. Him thou hea­rest allway; with him thou art all­ways well pleased. I honour the holy Angells, as glorious Atten­dants about thy throne: and bless thee for them, as Ministring Spi­rits, for the good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke, or worship 'em, because they are Fellow Ser­vants. On the same account I ho­nour the memory of Departed Saints, but neither invoke them, or pay them religious worship. That Glory, thou will not give un­to another. I have no precept in H. Scripture to direct, no promise [Page 190]to encourage, no Example to authorize the invocation of any other but Thee; in whom I be­lieve, and Trust. 10. Rom. 14.

Having such a God in Heaven, what can I need on Earth? His eyes behold me, his wing is over me, his hand can supply me, his Grace provide for me. I can want nothing that is Good: un­less I should need somewhat, which God, the infinitely Blessed and Allsufficient God, cannot bestow. If thou art the Portion of my Soul; all mine Enemies cannot make me miserable: un­less they can void Heaven of the presence of God, hinder his care, bind up his hand, or obstruct his Love. But tho my Enemies can­not, I fear my Sins may. They alone can separate between God, and my Soul. And considering the multitude and aggravations of them, and thine unspotted Holi­ness [Page 191]and Justice; I should have too much reason to fear and tremble, yea and utterly despair, if I had none in Heaven but Thee. But thy word assures me, that I have a Mediator there: a faith­full and a compassionate High Priest, Jesus Christ the Righteous; whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince, and a Saviour, to give Repentance and Remission of Sins. Who lives for ever in Heaven, to make Intercession, till he hath brought me there, to behold his Glory, and pertake of it.

That Glory, o Lord! thou hast reserved for Heaven: in this world we only desire, believe, and hope to injoy it Whom have I in Heaven? that is the place of Fruition. What can I desire upon Earth? This world is the place of Desires, as the other of full Injoyment: most of that which men call Injoyment in this [Page 192]Life, consists but in desire. De­sire or Lust is all that is in the wicked world. 1 John. 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous world­ling makes him desire more: and the great mystery of Intemperan­ce is to create and increase desires: & Desires of another kind are the portion of good men in this world. O that I could breath after a state of perfect Fruition in Hea­ven with more importunate de­sires! Who will give me to be in Heaven with Thee? On Earth I desire nothing. So one version. Let me, o my Soul! think of Heaven, as such a place, or state of blessed Injoyment! speak of it, seek it, long for it, prepare for it, as such. And let J. Christ, who is the desire of all Nations, (thro whom all divine communi­cations are made to fallen Sin­ners) be the great object of my present desires and love! Let me [Page 193]desire nothing but as in him; and for him! that believing his word, obeing his Law, adoring his per­son, imitating his Example, tru­sting his promise, constrained by his love, pertaking of his Image, filled with his grace, and com­forted by his Spirit; my medita­tions of him may be sweeter, and my love stronger, and I may have nothing more left to desire for my self, but that God who hath raised and exalted him, would keep alive my faith, and hope, and holy desires, till he hath made me meet to be with him; and after having guided me by his Grace, and Spirit, and councells, here on Earth, would receive me to his most blessed and Glorious Presence in Heaven. Amen, Amen.

XXII.

WHen our Blessed Saviour shall appear to judge the world, I read that it shall be, in his own Glory, the Glory of his Father, and of the Holy Angels. If by the glory of his Father, be meant that of the Divinity, as the Original and Author of all things in nature, as Creator of the World: and by the Glory of his holy Angels, be understood that of the Legal administration: the [Page 195]Law being given by the disposi­tion of Angels: and by his own Glory, that of the Gospel, as he is the Messiah: that in the Glory of all these, he shall come to Judg­ment, we have a summary account of the three different Revela­tions. which God hath made of himself to mankind; by the Light of Nature, that of the Law, and the more manifest one of the Gospel. According to which every man is to be judged at the last day.

Tho we cannot distinctly tell what or how great our Lord's Glory will then be; we may be certaine, it will be suitable to the dignity of his Royal person: sui­table to the grandeur of his Fa­thers Majesty: with the splendor of a Triumphant Prince, who is Heir of all Things, and hath all power in Heaven and in Earth committed to him, the Great [Page 196]Lord of both Worlds, Head of Angels an men: and suitable to his glorious office, as Mediator, and the apointed Judge of Quick and Dead.

If at his Transfiguration his Face shone, and his Rayment was white and glittering, how much more splendid will his last Ap­pearance be? When the Bodies of his Saints shall be seven times brighter then the lustre of the Sun? and if his Members shall then be so glorious, how tran­scendently more so will their Head, their Lord appear? If the delivery and promulgation of the Law, on Mount Sinai, was accompanied with such circum­stances of terrible Majesty, how much more may we suppose the Great Assize will be attended with? When he comes to judge for the violation of the Law, and the contempt of the Gospel. And [Page 197]if even Moses did then exceed­ingly quake and fear, what will be the consternation and trem­bling of the wicked World at the Coming of Christ? When he shall be revealed from Heaven, in fla­ming Fire, with a glorious reti­nue of his mighty Angels, as so many bright Stars about the more glorious Sun of Rightousness. The lights of Heaven shall be Ec­clipst: the visible Sun shall vail its blushing head as infinitely out shone: the present glory of the Creation be all benighted, by reason of his transcendent Bright­ness. Yea the Heavens shall be wrapt up as a scrol; the Elements melt away with a mighty noise; the Earth and all its works be burnt up; and the whole universe as one great Bonefire, to adorn the Triumph of our Lords Ap­pearance. And this ushered in by the voice of an Archangel, pro­claiming [Page 198]his approach: and the voice of God supplying the use of a Trumpet, to raise the Dead, and possess mankind with an awe­full Reverence of their Judge.

Thus in triumph, as a Con­queror and a Judge, shall he come againe, who once appear'd in the form of a Servant to be judged and condemn'd by Man. Then he was called King in scorn: now he will appear as much above all Earthly and Humane Greatness, as once he stoopt for our sakes beneath it. Then the Contempt of Nations, and no way esteem'd Desireable, when he came from the womb of his Virgin-Mother: now the Terror of the World, when he comes againe from the right hand of his Father. No more to be subject to a state of Meaness, but to render vengeance to all, 2 Thess. 1. chap. who know not God, and obey not the Gospell: and to be glori­fied [Page 199]in his Saints, and admired in, and by all them that believe.

The Holy Scripture doth fre­quently and expressly assure us, that he will thus come againe, and for these ends. He is exal­ted, and gone to Heaven, as the Head of his Church, and the King of Glory, and when he foretold his Ascension, he gave a promise of his Return. The Hea­vens are to containe him till the Restitution of all things. By his Providence, and by the H. Spi­rit, he now carries on the designs of his Death: and when these are accomplisht, he will appear to the Joy of Believers, and the confusion of the Wicked. He is entred as our Forerunner, Heb. 19, [...] 10. c within the vail, to prepare Mansions, and to take possession for us: and will not allways leave us in this dark and defiling World. He knoweth our sorrows, and heareth [Page 200]our prayers, and bottles our Tears, takes notice of our groans, and in all our Afflictions he is af­flicted. Being reconciled by his Death, at his first Coming, we shall be saved by his Life: since he lives to make good his word of coming againe.

How confortable is the news of it? how joyfull will be the mee­ting, to such as expect and pre­pare to see him? When the Sea and the Graves shall yeild up their Dead; and all the Prisoners of Hope lift up their heads, arise goe up, and meet the Lord in the Air, and ascend with him to the Heavenly Glory. But who can express how dismal a Sight this will be to the secure and the Im­penitent, to all who dye in their Sins? to behold their Judge, (who formerly offered to be their Saviour,) upon a glorious Thro­ne, and all the Children of Adam [Page 201]summon'd to his Tribunal! to have nothing to answer against his charge, and no way to escape his condemning sentence! they despised him as a Lamb, offer'd in Sacrifice, to take away the sins of the World: but shall no lon­ger do so, when he comes as the Lion of the tribe of Juda, to de­vour and destroy the Enemies of his Crosse. Now, they will not own him for their Lord; but shall then find he is so, by the vengeance he will execute. As a Jesus, as a Saviour, they rejec­ted him, making light of his Sal­vation, despising his Mercy, re­fusing his Grace; but the ne­glected Gospell will then be a more killing Letter then the Law. He who by his Ambassa­dors doth now intreat Sinners to be reconciled; will then be as deaf to their Intreaties, as they have been to his. Because they [Page 202]would not turn at his Reproof hearken to the call of his word and obey its voice, they must hear the sentence of Condemna­tion, and feel the Execution of it, wither they will or no. Yea the bloud of his Crosse will up­braid, accuse, and plead against them. And what ever foolish Evasions they now make, to con­tinue in security, they shall then be speechless and self-condem­ned. Nothing will be able to hide them from the amazing Presence of their Judge, or from the Wrath of the Lamb. Who will inflict an intolerable and right­eous vengeance, an Everlasting Destruction, upon all the Igno­rant and ungodly World. The Greatest, the Stoutest, the boldest of them shall then be humbled, and stand before Christ's Tribu­nal, upon an equal Level with the meanest: seized with horror, [Page 203]filled with Guilt, Anguish, and Despair: and find to their Eter­nal Confusion that the Judge is no respecter of Persons, but every man shall receive according to his w [...]rks. The Mighty shall not be spared for his Greatness, nor the mean man for his Poverty. O Fool! o Wretch that I am, shall many then say, who now brave it out in Pride and vanity, uncon­cern'd about a future Judgment! not to be persuaded by the Ter­rors of the Lord, which I was so often warn'd and foretold of! what refuge of Hope can I now flye to? what can I say for my self? what can I doe to escape, to dye, to exist no longer? I would have no compassion on my own Soul; I would not so much as con­sider its Danger; I shall now find none from Christ, I can expect none! his Mercy is gone, and gone for ever! I am lost, undone [Page 204]tormented, and must Eternally be so! O the amazement, Hor­ror, and Despair of self condem­ned Sinners in that day of Ven­gence!

O my Soul! what is there of greater Consequence, or of grea­ter Certainty from the word of God, then that I must appear to Judgment, when Christ shall come againe? Lord, teach me to be­lieve it firmly, to consider it of­ten, to lay it seriously to Heart, to act under the influence and power of it, as long as I live; that at the Great Resurrection from the Dead, I may lift up my head, with a joyfull Hope, and find the Judge to be my Friend, my Advocate, my Jesus, and not my Enemy, and Destroyer.

XXIII.

THe Terror of our Lords Appearance to Judgment cannot be greater to the wicked, then the comfort and Joy it will be to the Saints. When they shall see him whom their Souls love, ascend with him to Heaven, and be wellcom'd, according to his promise, with those indearing words, Matt. 25. ‘ Come the Blessed Children of my Father, inherit the King­dom prepared for you, from be­fore the foundation of the world! 'Twas for your sakes, I assumed [Page 206]flesh, lived on Earth, and dyed on the crosse, to purchase this Glorious Kingdom for you, which I now come to give you the Possession of. 'Twas for this I prayed, and suffered on Earth, for this I interceded ever since in Heaven: I was heard in that prayer, accepted in those sufferings, and my In­tercession granted, that where I am you may be also, to behold my Glory. Come therefore Good and Faithfull Servants, enter into your Lords Joy.’ O what Ravishing words will thees be! what an Extasy of Love and kind­ness is implied in them? What matter of Rejoycing may it now give me, to admit the Hope, that my Blessed Saviout will say such words as these to me? and bid me stand upon his Right Hand, among his sheep? O what an exulting frame of soul will [Page 207]such Expressions raise! how shall all my doubts and fears and sor­rows be scatter'd in a moment, and cease for ever! O Glorious Day! when my Blessed Lord shall thus publickly acknowledg me for his own, and plead my cause against all the accusations of Sa­tan and the malicious Calumnies of all his Instruments! when I shall be able to say of all my Sins and sufferings, as my Lord upon the crosse, It is Finished, It is Finished. My warfare being ac­complisht; being more then Con­queror over all, thro him, who loved me, and dyed for me, and now is come to wipe away all Tears from mine Eyes, as it were with the Napkin, that was bound about his Head, when laid in the Grave: all being the fruit of his Meritorious Death. Then shall I have nothing more to fear, or wish, or beg. I shall offend, pro­voke, [Page 208]and dishonour him no more; or by my folly and scan­dal discredit his holy name and Gospell. But by consummate Holiness be fitted to Rejoyce in his Presence Love, and celebrate his Praise for ever. I shall never more lament his Absence, or complaine of his Anger: never see a cloud on his Face, or a Frown in his look any more. Now I must wait and pray, struggle and strive, labor and suffer, de­sire and expect, believe and hope, &c. but then perfect Rest and Holiness, love and joy, vision and fruition, bliss and glory un­utterable and everlasting shall take place.

All the Attributes of God, all the wonderfull Perfections of Christ will then be glorifyed in Believers, and admired by them. His invariable Truth will then be honoured, which they trusted to, [Page 209]and waited for, for now they shall know and find they did not wait in vaine, they hoped in his word, and ventured their Salva­tion upon it, and now they shall receive the End of their Faith and Hope, infinitely beyond what they ever expected or believed.

The Glory of Divine Wisdom will then appear, when the Con­stitution Administration and de­sign of the Mediators King­dom shall be fully known: in the admirable order and beauty of every part of it, with the exact tendency of all the particulars to one Glorious end: and the whole undertaking crownd with so blessed an issue. What is now a mystery even to Believers them­selvs, and hath a vail upon it, shall then no longer be so: all the riddles of Gods Graee and Providence be plainly under­stood. O how transporting a view [Page 210]must it needs be, when the Glo­ry of all the divine Attributes which God intended to accom­plish, in and by Christ, shall be ma­nifest to his Redemed Saints. The whole method of our Salvation will then appear to be the fruit of unscearchable Wisdom. when we shall all see the reality and sub­stance, and intire scheme, of all that God designed in and by him; all that was typified of him, and foretold concerning him, in the old Testament. How will it all appear to be the Manifold Wis­dom of God. Ephes. 3. c. 10.

As in uniting Heaven and Earth together in the Person of our Me­diator: fullfilling the Truth of a terrible Threatning in his death, & by the same way accomplishing many gracious Promises: Vid. Mr. Charnock of the Div. Attrib. Wisdom. Satis­fying Justice, and at the same ti­me showing Mercy: manifesting infinite Grace and kindness by [Page 211]shedding of bloud: conquering Death by dying; and disarming the Law by obedience to it, &c. afterwards subduing the world to the Faith of the Gospel, by the foolishness of preaching: ma­king men wise to Salvation by the knowledg of the Crosse: and spreading that Faith the more by all the opposition made against it, &c. how wonderfully will a clear view of these things discover, and glorifie the Wisdom of God.

But the Love and Grace of Christ; the infinite Goodness and Compassion of God, will then be magnified in an especial man­ner. What but Soveraine Love in the whole Contrivance and Counsell of God about our. Re­demption? what admirable Love and Grace in the whole manage­ment of that design? what unpar­rallel'd kindness in the accompli­shment of it by the sacrifice of the [Page 212]son of God? and how glorious will this Love appear, when he shall come againe to give us the full Harvest of all his Purchase? with what admiring Thank full­ness shall Believers then contem­plate the unskearchable Riches of his Grace? in all the parts and instances of his Humiliation, from his conception to his Cruci­fixion and Burial: in all the Evi­dences and discoveries made of it, from the first Promise to it's com­pletion: yea from before the foundation of the World, in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the son, untill his se­cond Coming, to Judge the World, and deliver up the King­dom to his Father.

How shall we then admire and adore his Powerfull Grace? which snatcht us as fire brands out of Everlasting Burnings; that effectually shin'd into our minds [Page 213]by Heavenly Light; conquer'd the opposition of our Stubborn Wills; Sanctified our Carnal Hearts; rescued us from the ty­ranny of Satan, and the domi­nion of lust; giving, cherishing, and preserving the holy Seed of Grace, and making it Spring up to Eternal Life; defeating the malicious and subtle endeavors of the Devil to destroy it; inabling us to indure Tribulation, and persevere to the End; giving us victory over Death; conducting us thro the dark valley; raiising our Bodies, reviving and reuni­ting them to our Souls, and ren­dring them glorious like his own Body; and at length raising our imperfect Services with. Eter­nal Life. yea tho our best servi­ces were mixt with sin, our ho­lyest duties spotted, our most couragious sufferings mixt with unbelief, yet rewarded with a [Page 214]Blessedness that hath no alloy of Evil, but all the ingredients of a perfect Felicity, and nothing to lessen and interrupt it. How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord, the freeness, tenderness, riches, and the ex­ceeding Greatness, and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Gra­ce to poor Believers?

With what extasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redecmed ones?

Saying, This is He, who made our peace with God, and re­verst the Sentence of Damnation, which we were under: who bought us with the price of his most pre­cious Bloud, bore the Wrath of his Father, and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us: he assumed our nature, that we might pertake of his: became the Son of Men, that we might be [Page 215]made the Children of God; for our sakes he became poor, that we thro his Poverty might beeome Rieh: stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and reproach, to con­ferr honour on us: was for a time forsaken of his Father, that we might not be so Eternally: felt the stroke of his Anger ag­ainst sin, that we might not pe­rish under it. Was a man of sor­rows, and acquainted with griefs, that we might rejoyce: his ago­nies and bloudy sweat were for our Refreshment, and by his stri­pes we are healed: he bowed his head on the Crosse, that we might lift up ours in Triumph: and because we had eaten of the for­bidden fruit, he hung on the ac­cursed Tree. 'Twas for us that he suffered the frowns of Hea­ven, the enmity of Hell, the rage of Devils, the hatred and persecution of the world: He was [Page 216]judged, that we might not come into Condemnation: he was cru­cifyed, that we might be glori­fied; and he is now Come againe finally and fully to effect it.

O the height, and depth, and length, and breath of the Love of Christ, which passeth know­ledg, but calls for admira­tion, and Everlasting Gratitude! This is the Blessed Day, we long'd and waited, and prayed for! This is our Gracious, our Glorious Lord, whose love melted our Hearts, whose Promise was our Support, whose Word was our Rule, whose Spirit was our Com­forter, whose Crosse was our Crown, and the hope of his Ap­pearance our chief Consolation!

Lord! what am I, what was I, that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me? I can remember when I was ignorant of God, a [Page 217]Stranger to him, at Enmity with him, under the power of Dark­ness, and the Devil, serving di­vers lusts and Pleasures, hasten­ing to Hell, and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the world, stampt his Image upon me, pardoned my Sin, and imbrac't me in the arms of his unchangea [...] Love. O Happy Change! a [...] yet how little did I prize his Grace, admire his love, and express my own, or pomote his glory, and honour him in the Eyes of others? how did I disho­nor my profession and holy Call­ing, as his Disciple, by agrava­ted Apostacy? but he recovered me by Repentance, and healed my Backslidings, and received me graciously, because he loved me freely. O admirable Grace! to pardon, and save, and bring to Glory such an unthankfull Wretch, as I have been! to [Page 218]make such a difference between me and others, whom I knew on earth! that the same Power, which makes them Miserable, now ma­kes me Blessed! that when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction, I am admitted to behold his Glory, and shall dwell with him for ever!

O how much [...]e do I now see and find then ever I believed, of the Love of Christ, and his promised Salvation! how much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer! how much more Excellent is the Heavenly State, then ever I thought or expected! I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth part of that which I now see and feel. I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring, and prai­sing the Incomparable Grace and Glory of my Blessed Redeemer.

Such holy admiration will cer­tainly produce the most thankfull Adorations of our Lord Jesus. Saying one to another, I Bless the Lord of Love and Glory! who humbled himself so low, as our Mediator, and hath exalted us so high, as the blessed fruit of it! how can we ever enough adore and praise him, who condescended so far, and hath done and sufferd so much for us? See how the Holy Angels worship this King of Glory! and have not every one of us more reason to do so? O let all the Quire of Heaven ce­lebrate his glorious Love! and let us, his Redeemed, his Glori­fied ones say continually, Let the Lord be magnified: who hath lo­ved us, and washed us from our sins in his own Bloud, and made us Kings and Priests unto God, his Father, and thro him ours.

O Mercifull Saviour! O glo­rious [Page 220]Change! O Happy Socie­ty! with whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth, how we wept, and praid, and fasted, and mourned together, when we suffered, and complain'd, and sin'd together. O the Marvellous change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us, and in us! These Bodies, these Souls, this Life, this Place, this Company, these Injoyments, are not like those in yonder World. But alas, who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour! how smal a portion is it we understand of that World? How little can I conceive, and much less express? Blessed be God we know so much, as the matter of our joyfull Hopes: and forever Blessed be God, who hath promised and provided such [Page 221]a Glory for us, as cannot now be fully known.

What inexpressible sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope, did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls? we might listen as it were to the shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above, and say Amen to their Thanksgivings. We might behold them about the Throne of God, and of the Lamb, with Palms of victory in their hands, a Crown of Glory on their heads, and songs of Triumph in their mouths, saying Allelujah; Worthy art Thou, o Lord, Rev. 4. c. 11.5. c. 12.13. to re­ceive Glory, and Honour, and Power, for thou hast Created all Things, and for thy Pleasure they are, and were created. And worthy is the Lamb that was slaine, to receive Power, and Ri­ches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and Bles­sing. [Page 222]And againe, Blessing, Ho­nour, Glory, and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne, and to the Lamb, for ever and ever.

Whence is it, o my Soul! if indeed I believe and expect all this, that I can hear, and read, and think, and speak of these great Things, with no more ar­dent affections, suitable prepa­rations, importunate prayers, and vigorous desires? How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly mind­edness, self-denial, contempt of the world, patience, and perse­verance? quicken my zeal, se­cure my stedfastness, and give life and spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it? how should my soul rise towards Heaven, by holy Love and desire, ascend and meet him, get as near him as I can, breath after more of his pre­sence, [Page 223]and beg him to prepossess my Heart, to anticipate his se­cond Coming by clearer disco­veries of his Love, and fuller communications of his Grace. Even so Come Lord Jesus!

XXIV.

I Am hastening every year, every day, to the period of this Life: I must shortly appear be­fore my Glorious Judge; and ex­perience these Terrors or Com­forts, this Blessedness or Misery, which I have now read of. Shall I [Page 224]not therefore inquire, which of the two belongs to me? Is it not worth considering, wither I must goe, and how I shall fare, when I quit this Body? what is like to be my next Habitation? to which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd? Shall an In­quiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite Hereafter? do I not desire to know the worst, while a remedy may be found? or am I content to dye, thro an un­willingness to discover that I am Sick? The question to be re­solved is of infinite weight. Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever? An error is more then possible, 't is easy to mistake: and the ha­zard of doing so is unspeakably great. How many thousands pe­rish eternally, even under the light of the Gospel, who never suspected their danger? how or­dinary, [Page 225]how common a thing is it; for men to be thus deceived? how successfull is the Devill in this Stratagem against the Souls of men? Is it not then a most cri­minal stupidity, to be contentedly. Ignorant and unresolved? Wi­ther I am reconciled to God or no: Wither I am led by the Flesh or the Spirit; wither I am in the broad or narrow way, which lead to such contrary Ends; that is, wither if I dye in this condition, I shall be saved or perish. Can such an Inquiry be frivolous, or indifferent? Is the subject of it so contemptible, and my concern in it so small, that it merits not to be attentively considered? Shall I never ask my soul, till I am leaving this world, (the un­fittest Time of all to begin so important an affaire,) what am I? to whom do I belong? whose Image do I bear? how have I [Page 226]liv'd? & what do I doe? what do I love most? what do I most con­stantly desire, and choose, and seek? how doth the Pulse of my soul beat? is it quickest towards God, or towards the world? wither am I goeing? what will be final upshot and issue of my present course? Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by Dyeing? what Security have I got for Eternal Life? what pro­visions have I made? what foun­dation have I laid?

How strangely infatuated are most men, who talk of an Ever­lasting Life as an Article of their Creed; and say they count upon it, that they must dwell in Hap­piness or Misery for ever; and that seldom or never bethink themselvs in good earnest, and for any Time, with a setled composed exercize of Thoughts, Which of these Two is like to [Page 227]be their Lot. Or If they begin to search and try themselvs, they come to no Conclusion, or con­clude too hastily: they pluk off the plaister, assoon as it begins to smart; they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes, or, haveing escap't the grosser Pollutions of the world, judge too favourably of their own case. They commonly do the work but by halves, and so goe from the glass and forget what manner of persons they were.

Let me therfore, o my Soul: Sequester my self from the world, to commune with my own heart to reflect upon my past Life, and look in to my present strate, to recollect and review the most considerable passages of my course and Time hitherto. O how neglected and disused a Pra­ctise is this! which doth challen­ge [Page 228]and require our principal and most Serious concern about it, and how many begin it and are discou­raged, and leave off without reaching the End of such an En­quiry.

How much wiser, in this respect, are the Children of this world, in their Generation, then the Children of Light? who is so Exact in his accounts between God and his own Soul, as Tra­des-men in their dealings with one another? who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies? the grounds of his Fear, and the encouragements of his Hope? or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State? who doth at set times, once a moneth, or once a Quarter, or even once a year, take a just view of him self, his Heart, and Life, and State, as a Christian? that he may see what he hath recei­ved, [Page 229]and done; what he owes, and what he may expect: that he may know wither he thrive or decay; wither be increase or decrease, wither he goe backward or forward; wither he be Richer or Poorer, this year then the last: And is it not a symptom that you are declining, when you love not to examine your Accounts? Is there not ground of Jealousie and Suspicion, that you are behind hand, because you are loath to inquire, whither you are or no? and unwilling to know the worst of your Con­dition. Nevertheless, without Such Enquiries, and bringing the matter to a determination, at what uncertainties must we live? and how unconceivable an haszard do all Hypocrites and un­renewed Sinners run? and how reasonable, how necessary is it that we should know, and in order [Page 230]to it, prove our selves? we must therfore bestow Time and serious Diligence about it, that we may examine matters to the bottom, and come to some Result, that we may form a right Judgment concerning our own case.

He that would do it to good purpose, must endeavor to un­derstand cleerly the terms of the Covenant on God's part, and on ours: and take care not to Judge of himself by, mistaken rules; by a false Standard, that God will not justifie; or by any, such characters as will not conclude. But most men are unwilling to bring themselves to a Trial, or let Conscience deal plainly and faithfully with them. They are stupidly secure, and see not the necessity of this duty. Or do not suspect themselus. They presu­me they need not be at that Trouble: or are so taken up with [Page 231]the World, that they cannot find Time and leasure [...]r it. And many men dare not bring their Hearts and ways to a Trial. There is commonly some seeret Lust indulg'd, which they are loath to let goe. But most goe on in sin, and perish Eternally, because they think there is no danger of perishing: and never repent, and make their Peace with God, be cause they fancy and presume tis done allready.

Therfore let me beg of thee, who ever thou art, who readest this, to put the case to thy self seriously to admit the doubt, wither you are not mistaken; make the supposition, tho you have not hitherto sufficiently considered the State of your Soul. You are confident that all is wel; and therupon are unwil­ling to examine farther: but for that very reason you ought to [Page 232]question, whither it be so or not? do but ask your self seriously, what is the ground of your good Opi­nion concerning your self? for what reason can you thus conclu­de?

Did you ever seriously lay to heart the Characters and descrip­tion, which the Scriptures give, of those whom Christ will own, at the last day, and of such whom he will reject and reprobate? with unfeigned application to your own case, have you therwith prov'd your selves? and come to a setled Judgment, after a deliberate Enquiry? And was the Conclusion to your comfort, and Joy? If so, what influence hath it since had upon your Heart and Life? hath it promoted Purity, Thank fullness, Heavenly-min­dedness: contempt of this world, and stronger Desires after the Image, love, and presence of [Page 233]God, and the Glory of Christ? Moreover, consider.

Is it not this a good while a goe? how have you behav'd your self ever since? have you not reason to look back with shame? If you but slightly examin'd your self formerly, resolve to do it more effectually now: review the sins you have been since Guilty of. And if you have not done any thing considerable of this kind, you ought now to begin. It is seasonable to begin the year by such an Exercise, and it will be found of great use, in all the following parts of it: especially when you come to exa­mine your self afresh, in order to the Lord's Supper. For we ought frequently to renew the sad remembrance of our former Sins, that from time to time we may renew our Repentance, which is the work of our Life, and not [Page 234]of one day. And he that comes to the Sacrament, and will look no farther back, then to the last Communion, may possibly pre­sume too much, that all was then as it should be, and not be humble enough.

If any one therfore resolve in good earnest up on an holy Life, and seriously design to prepare for Eternity, as it is necessary to make a general review of his Life, so I desire to afford him the best Counsell I can, in order to it

It may be adviseable, Vid. Mr. Baxter's Saints Rest. p. 3. chap. 7:8:9. if you have not formerly begun this work, to imploy one hour at least in a Day, for several Days fol­lowing, in writing down the most considerable Passages of your Life you can remember, desiring God's Assistance therin; and keeping your Eye upon your End, in the whole; that is, [Page 235]thinking seriously that 'tis in order to Eternity, that you now examine your self. Choose a place of Retirement, and the most convenient Time, that you may not be interrupted, and when your Heart is most serious. Every man may divide his Life into several parts, as from In­fancy till he left off goeing to school, or was bound Appren­tice, or setled in any way of edu­cation. From thence 'till fixt in some Imployment: til a married person, till entred into that Con­dition. And from thence to another remarkable Period, or to the present Time. It may better assist some persons memo­ry, to consider the several Places of their abode, and compute ac­cording to them. In each portion of time, recollect what sins you were most addicted to: in what In­stances, in with what Frequency, [Page 236]and with what other various ag­gravations you committed 'em: and what have been the effects and consequences of those sins, to your selves, and Others, in order to Repentance, and godly sorrow. Which must not be judg'd of by Tears, but Grief, and inward hatred of Sin. Remembring that no man is the better meerly for being examin'd, if there follows nothing after it. Tis in order to a Judgment to be pass'd upon our selues. Tis to seearch out our own Iniquity, our Belo­ved sin, in order to the mortifi­cation of it. That Goliath must first be Slaine, if ever the other Philistims are conquered. In some it is Pride, in others Worldli­ness, in some Uncleanness, in others Drunkenness Gluttony &c. That you may discover it, ob­serve

What sin 'tis you are most un­willing [Page 237]to part with: which you could even wish were not forbidden.

Which you have formerly been most apt to plead for, ex­textenuat or excuse, and hide.

The thoughts wherof do most frequently occur; especially when Alone: first in the morning, and last at night: and are most distra­cting in Prayer and worship.

Which an awaken'd Con­science hath most plainly told you of; under a Sermon, or at a Sacrament or under some heavy affliction, or on a sickbed &c.

Which you can least bear to be Reproov'd for.

Which the Temperament of your body doth most incline to.

Which your Calling, imploy­ment, Company, and converse, administer the greatest Tempta­tions for.

That especially which hath the [Page 238]Throne of the Heart, and sets all the faculties a work to contriue fuel and opportunities for its Gratification.

Observe likewise what Passion was most Predominant in each Period: or is yet so; and what ill effects it hath produced. Consi­der farther what dangerous Tem­ptations you have met with: how you have fallen by 'em, or been inabled to resist. Consider withall the Time and the Means, wherby God hath at any time for­merly awaken'd, convinc't and humbled you: what Purposes of Amendment, and Promises of Reformation you have ever made, and how far you have, or have not, perform'd 'em. Re­collect likewise all the special Mercies, you have receiu'd from God, in every State and Period of your Life; in order to Thankfullness. The last section [Page 239]of thes Papers may giue you some assistance therin, and con­sider what Retrun's you have made to God, for all his Kindnesses.

You may do well to consider your self also in the Relations you have stood to others; as Inferior Equal, or Superior: in family, Church, or State; in your Calling, profession imploy­ment, &c. And examine in what more notorious Instances, you have been faulty in your Relative Duties. How you did ordinarily Carry it in your Place and sta­tion: for that is the best the truest Picture of a man, which is like him in his ordinary every-day's habit. Perticularly reflect upon the sins you have committed in Company with Others. By whose Example you have been drawn to sin: who may probably have been tempted by yours, and bewail it, [Page 240]and if the persons are living, ad­monish them to Repent: and if you have injur'd and wrong'd any, acknowledg your fault, and to the utmost of your power, make speedy Restitution. If any of your Companions in sin are dead, and you fear dyed without Re­pentance; humble your self par­ticularly before God for hauing contributed to their Damnation. I know of some who have made such a Catalogue of their Sins, with the most observable agrava­tions of them; which they con­stantly preseru'd; and frequently review'd, to keep them Humble, Penitent, Watchfull, and Thankfull; and on some occa­sions of secret Humiliation, have spread them before the Lord (as Hezekiah that of his enemy) Covering them selves with shame and Confusion of Face, by con­sidering what they have been, and [Page 241]thence admiring the Riches of free Grace, in the forgiveness of such Crimes, thro the Bloud of Christ.

Examine me, o Lord, and prove me; try my Reins and my Heart, for thy Loving kindness is before mine Eyes, and I will walk in thy Truth. Thou hast searched me, o Lord, and known me: thou knowest my Thoughts a far off: all my secret Sins are in the Light of thy Countenance: and thou art acquainted with all my ways: set my Sins in order before me, that I may Repent, and for sake them. Show me mine Infirmities, and weaknesses, that I may watch against them. And teach me to Judge and condemn my self, that I may not be judged of the Lord.

XXV.

IT cannot but be of use to Be­lievers also, at stated Times to examine themselves, concer­ning their Languishings and Decays in Grace, Falling from their first Love to a spirit of in dif­ferency and Lukewarmness, dis­orderly walking, or unfruitfull­ness: wither Gray Hairs are not here and there upon them, and they [Page 243]know it not. For God may withdraw by degrees, so that his departure may not presently be perceiv'd: and some kind of Acti­vity in Duty may be continued upon false Principles, and from Common Assistance, while a Christian, as to his spiritual State, may be under a dangerous Con­sumption. 'Tis not difficult for others to observe it some times, and would be visible enough to themselves, would they spare a few hours to examine the matter. The Punishment of such Back­slidings, the loss of the quickning and comforting presence of the H. Spirit, deserues likewise to be inquir'd into, in order to a speedy remedy, and should en­force the Counsell.

I mean not barely the ebbing of Affections in the duties of Re­ligion or the want of life and quickning from sensible Consola­tions, [Page 242] [...] [Page 243] [...] [Page 244]which new Converts, (especially such as have been reclaim'd from a course of no­torious Impiety,) have more of at first then afterwards. Which doubting Christians should parti­cularly take notice of, by the Instance of the Prodigal, who was extraordinarily feasted at his first return, but was doubtless contented afterwards with the or­dinary Provisions of his Fathers house. Neither doth God dispen­ce the same measure to all alike, nor to any alike at all Times: some, who are called to greater services, and sufferings then others, or had greater Conflicts before Conversion, may have a greater share then the rest of their Brethren. Neither will the same degree of Grace imparted to some persons, so discernably moue and comfort, as it will do some others of a different [Page 245]Temper. 'Tis not therfore so much to be the matter of our Enquiry, (if at all it need to be so,) wither we have more or less of sensible joy in the performance of duty. But

Wither we are not fallen and declin'd, as to the inward vital Acts of Grace, and in the out­ward Fruits of Holiness. Wither we have such clear convincing Apprehensions of divine and spiritual Truths, and the my­steries of the gospel, as for­merly: wither our minds are not become more vaine and heedless: wither our knowledg of God, and of the Revelations of his will be as powerfull and effi­cacious upon our Hearts and Lives, as heretofore: wither there be not less frequency, less Consistency, less inward satis­faction in holy serious thoughts then formerly. You were wont [Page 246]to pray and endeavor, that God might be first and last in your thoughts every day, and by frequent Ejaculations in civil af­faires, to maintaine a dayly con­verse with God; but now you mind not wither it be so or not, yea you cannot but know, that it is not thus with you still. It was once your Burden to be pester'd with foolish, filthy, wordly, vaine Thoughts, espe­cially on the Lord's Day, or in the worship of God, you reje­cted and disown'd them, you la­mented and pray'd against them: do so much as examine, wither it be thus still.

Consider all your Affections, and their several objects; and see wither a criminal Lukewarm­ness hath not diffus'd it self in to every of them. Examine every Grace: and see wither your Faith, Hope, Love, holy De­sires, [Page 247]and Delight in God be not miserably abated: as to the strength and vigor, the efficacy, and frequent exercise of every of them: so that your Thoughts of God are few, cold, and li­feless, without desire, delight and love.

Consider the Opportunities and solemn Occasions of approa­ching the divine Presence: Are they as much the Desire of your souls, and the rejoycing of your Hearts as once they were? Are you not more easily diverted from them, less satisfy'd and refresht by them? are not all Gospel Ordinances less power­full and quickning, and your profit and advantage therby un­speakably less then formerly? Doe you hunger and thirst, and pant as the Hart after the water brooks, to draw nigh to God, and come into his Courts? [Page 248]doe you make Conscience of preparing before hand? do you come with a real desire, and design, and expectation of pro­fiting, and bettering your Spirits? do you joyn in every part of divine worship, with that attention, seriousness, and com­posure of mind, and taste the sweetness and benefit of such so­lemnities, as formerly? are such services performed with that Awe of God, with that Humility, Fervency, and Intensness of Spirit, as some times they were? are you not more Negligent and unconcern'd before and after, wither you find any thing of this or no? your Desires weak, your Hearts flat, your Thoughts wandring, your Spirits trifling? so the work be done, and the duty be over, (in how formal, customary, and careless a manner, soever it be,) you [Page 249]consider it not, you lay it not to Heart, you reflect not upon it, you bewail it not, or at least are better contented and sooner quieted, and take less notice of the frame of your Heart in such Duties then formerly?

Examine farther how 'tis with you as to the great distinguish­ssing Duties of an upright Chri­stian, (if performed as they ought to be,) I mean Secret Pra er and meditation: Are you as strict and carefull, con­stant and Conscientious, frequent and abundant in these, as for­merly? may not our Closets and places of Retirement witness against us? our former humble and importunate Prayers joyfull Thanksgivings, and sweet Con­templation of the Mysteries of Religion, compared with our present dayly practice, will testifie that we are declin'd and fallen.

Moreover consider the Evil of Sin, and how your Heart stands affected to it. Is not your Hatred of Sin and Zeal against it much decayed? especially with respect to inward Spiritual sins, such as the secret workings of unbelief, and distrust, pride, envy, un­charitableness, &c. Doe you bewail it, shire against it, and shun the occasions, and fear the Temptations, that may lead you unto Sin, as once you did? Have you not lost much of that tenderness and holy Jealousy over your heart and ways, you for­merly had? Doe you not now make more bold with Tempta­tion? Are you not of oftner con­quered? and with less Reluctan­ce? and by small Temptations &c.

Are you not more Unservi­ceable? Root and Fruit in a withering condition? God less [Page 251]Honour'd, and Others less pro­fited and edifyed by your Exam­ple and Life? doe you not adhere more to the world? conform to it, and comply with it in many things, which formerly you durst not have done? and are every day waxing worse? Make a pause a while and bethink your self what this will come to at last? even the little Good that remains is ready to dye.

May I not ask such Christians, or desire them to ask themselves, what is all ready the effect and consequence of this declension? Is not God's Spirit removed, and the Light of his Countenance Ecclipst? yea as to many of them, are they not under Sad apprehen­sions of God's displeasure? do they not feel the terrors of the Lord? do they not walk heavily from day to day? they that could [Page 252]once converse with God on all occasions as a Friend, and a Father, do now think of God and are troubled: thick Darkness doth incompass them round about: they have lost the sence of his Love, the comforts of his pre­sence, and their Song in the night, and see no relief. This is a more hopefull case however, then theirs, who are under great Backslidings and Desertion, and hardly sensible of it. To awaken and affist both, Consider I beseech you, whence you are fallen, and what you have lost, and what will be the issue of this, if Sickness, or some smart Affliction overtake you, or if you should dye in this condition. And inquire seriously, and pre­sently, into the cause of all this Evil: for a few transient thoughts will not affect the Heart and per­suade to Action. And do it pre­sently, [Page 253]because by every delay your work will be the harder, your danger the greater, and your Recovery the more difficult. Reflect upon the Sinfullness as well as Affliction of this case: know you have displeased God, and run from him, neglected his Presence, and griev'd his Spirit, and in what Instances you have done so; that have made him weary of his dwelling: what Ordinances you have slighted; what Duties you have omitted; what sins you have given way to; in order to Repentance and deep Humiliation.

Can you contentedly sit still, with this dismal State of Things? while God hath somewhat (yea a great deal indeed,) against you, for having left your first Love? will you not endeavor to remove that which hath made such a separation between God [Page 254]and you, and brought you thus low? what Communion with, God, what communications of his Grace, what influences of his Spirit, and Evidences of his favor have you lost? and will you not acknowledg your Iniquity, and abase your selves in the Dust, and return to the Lord, and doe your first works? that he may heal your Backslidings, and receive you graciously; that you may againe take hold of his Covenant, and be at Peace with him.

But to be at Peace with God, is not the whole of your Concern, you need not only a Pardon, but a Physitian to heal you; as doth a Malefactor, that is not only lia­ble to the Law, but desperately sick. Your State is sinfull and dan­gerous, as well as troublesome. From performing duties in such a manner as you now do, you [Page 255]may quickly be Tempted to let them altogether alone. God may be so far provok't to suffer Satan to make attempts upon you of that kind: and he is forward enough to make use of such an opportunity, to try all his Snares and Stratagems against you: till he prevail with you, to think hardly of God himself, Vid. Mr. Gilpiu of Tempta­tions. p. 2. chap. 6. unthankfully to overlook all his former kindnesses, to put the worst In­terpretation that can be upon all his Providences, to distrust and quarel with him, as if his faith­fullness had failed, and his Mercy were clean gone for ever, and there were no hope left, for one in your case: and so run into Desperation, and thro the subtle­ly and violence of Satan's Tem­ptations, try the most foolish and unlawfull means for ease and cure, either open Licentious­ness, or it may be, self Murder.

Therfore speedy present Re­pentance is necessary, to find out and mortifie every Corrup­tion, and that especially, which Conscience tells you, you have most indulg'd, from whence your Distresse doth principally arise: Confessing your sin freely, fully, and without reserve, and waiting on God in the diligentuse of all means, for the recovery of that which you have lost: and Justi­fying God in his Righteousness, Truth, Wisdom, Holiness, in all his Rebukes. That you may regaine a Spirit of Prayer, and taste the sweetness, vertue, and efficacy of every duty, and of every ordinance; and God may give you the Garment of Praise for the Spirit of Heaviness, and the Joy of the Lord may be your Strength, for future service and suffering.

In the mean time do not cast [Page 257]away your Hope, but tho you have (too justly) depriv'd your self of the Faith of Assurance, yet indeavor to maintaine and ex­ercise the Faith of Adherence. Vid. Dr. Owen on 130 Ps. 2. Say unto God, that because there is Forgiveness with him, therfo­re he is to be feared. My sin is not too Great to be forgiven. Tis not the Ʋnpardonable Sin: fer I desire to repent, and am resolv'd to return. I will still cleave to the Lord, and wait upon him, and follow hard after him, and take no other course for Delive­rance and comfort. Mine is not a single Case: I am not the only Soul that hath been so distress'd, and yet found relief, by seeking unto God. This therfore good for me to hope, Lam. 3 c. 26. and quietly wait for the Salvation of God. I will draw near to God, I will lay at his foot, and continue in all ways of Worship and Duty, wherin I [Page 258]may hope to meet with the quickning and comfort of his Spirit. I will seek relief from no other; I will keep as near him as I can; wither els shall I goe, he alone hath the words of Eter­nal Life; he alone can create (what is the fruit of his own lips) Peace, Peace.

I will encourage my self in the consideration of his General Grace, Vid. Mr. Baxter's method for Peace of Conscience. and the probabilities of his special Love: I will recollect my former Experiences, when I had some good hope, thro Grace, concerning my Adoption: I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. If God will give me so much Grace as to continue waiting, I will hope still; and tho I walk in darkness, and see little or no Light, I will stay my self upon the Lord. And if by the want of sensible Conso­lation he will make me more [Page 259]humble, and keep me in a greater Submission to his will, I will bless his holy name; and derive more comfortable hope from thence, then from the most sweet and sen­sible Consolations I ever had; and look upon Humility, self denial, Dependance on God, Resigna­tion to him, and Hatred of sin, as a better sign of his Love, then the highest fervors of Affection in his service can be.

Oh that I had formerly done as much for Holiness, as I have for Comfort! by the joyment of the one, I should have had more of the other: the exercise of Grace would have discover'd the Truth of it. Let me therfore accuse and condemn my self; but still trust, and love God, and wait upon him. Let me resolve never to choose a new Lord or Master. Or take up with any Portion beneath God him self; or any [Page 260]of Hope or Salvation, but by J. Christ, my only Saviour, neither let me forsake the way of Faith and Holiness, for all the hopes and Happiness of this world, if put to my choice. But be allways able to say, Blessed be God I now can, that I will return to my former Husband, for then it was better with me then now. I had peace and refreshment in my former ways, I will return to them. Lord, forsake me not utterly! keep not thine Anger for ever: cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy H. Spirit from me: Restore unto me the Joy of thy Salvation, that my Heart may be in larged to prayse thy name, and to run the way of thy Commandments.

XXVI.

THat we may turn unto the Lord, is the end of searching and trying our Ways. Lord, I have been searching my Heart, and considering my ways, but can find little or no good; neither can I discover all that is evill in both. But I find enough to make my own Heart condemn me, and Thou, who art greater then my Heart, and knowest all things, mayst much more condemn me. [Page 262]I am altogether unclean, pollu­ted, and abominable.

If I goe about to enumerate the Sins of my Thoughts, words, and actions, in all the periods of my Life hitherto; if I con­sider my omissions of Duty, and dayly Crimes by actual commis­sion; if I reflect upon my Sins according to their respective objects, as either against Thee, o God, and against my Neighbour, and against my own Soul; or compare my Heart and Life with thy strict and holy Law, and think in how many Instances I have tansgrest every of thy Righteous Commandments: I find they are more then the hairs on my head, they can not be number'd. who can tell how oft he hath offended? many of my sins make little Impression on my Memory, doe I observe them not, I remember them not: but [Page 263]this hinders not but they may make deep Impression on my Conscience, which will one day be awake, and set them in order before me, and they are all written in thy book of Remembrance, in order to my final Judgment. All my sins are before thee: but thou requirest my humble Confession of them in order to Repentance and as a part therof that I freely acknowledg their hainous aggra­vations to shame and humble my self the more before thee whom I have offended and provok't.

How long did I serve diverse Lusts and Pleasures, with the ne­glect and forgetfullness of God? How sad a prospect may I take of the far greatest part of my Life past? especially of my youn­ger years, which have been trifl'd away in vanity and folly? And since I have known the way of Truth, how shamefully [Page 264]have I prevaricated with God? I am confounded to consider, how often I have despised the Com­mandment, and rebelled against the Light; against the Principles of education, and the checks of Conscience, frequent warnings from God, and reproofs from Others; contrary to my Profes­sion, and Experience, contrary to the obligation of peculiar mercies, solemn Promises, Re­solutions, and Engagements and a nearer Relation to God then of many others; which sins have more dishonor'd my Lord, dis­credited his H. Gospel, gratifi'd the Devil, scandaliz'd the world, and strengten'd the hands of the ungodly, then the sins of others. And alas! How much of my pre­cious Time is thus gone, which if duely improv'd, would now afford me comfort to review.

How much Guilt have I con­tracted [Page 265]every year, particularly in this last? I now begin another which will soon be gone as that which was concluded yesterday. And shall I only advance in Age, to increase the number of my sins, and heigthen my Account against the Day of Reckoning? In Tem­poral and Civil Affaires Day unto Day uttereth knowledg, and Night unto Night teacheth Wisdom. We are Taught by Experience many usefull lessons which we should not els have learnt; to reform many Errors and mistakes, to correct many rash and foolish Actions and Speeches, &c. And shall I not learn wisdom by the Experience of another year, in what concerns my greatest, my Eternal Interest? shall not the reflexion on my past sins prevent my Commission of the like?

How many Years hath God vouchsaf't me to work out my sal­vation? [Page 266]but how little have I done towards it? had I dyed this last year, how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance befo­re his Tribunal? what opportu­nities of doing and receiving good have I let slip? have I not made it more my business to seem Religious, then really to be so? how much of the Patience of God have I abus'd? refusing his calls to Repentance, resisting the strivings of his Spirit, smothering my Convictions, and turning the grace of God into wantonness? In stead of returning gratitude for all his Love, I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgi­veness: and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning, even to this day. Lord, I am Asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee. To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face. If God should condemn and punish [Page 267]me as a Rebell, and a Traitor, and give me the Portion of Hypocri­tes, I cannot but own his Justice; even in Hell I must do it, with my flaming Tongue and Breath.

O Spare me for thy mercies sake! Enter not into Judgment with thy servant, for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justifi'd: if Thou lay Judgment to the line, and equity to the Plummet. Give me Repentance unto life, never to be repented of, never to be retracted againe. Bring me to the Bloud of Jesus, which cleanseth from all sin. Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit: For I acknowleg my Transgressions unto thee, against whom I have sinned; o Lord; forgive the Ini­quity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my hands and Eyes towards Heaven, unworthy to be called thy son, or thy servant: I am vile in mine own eyes, because [Page 268]I have made my self vile in thine. For this I am troubled, and mourn, and my Soul is grieved within me.

O thou Heavenly Physitian of Souls! from thy Pitty alone I expect my cure. I am miserable and undone without thy Compas­sion, and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace. I must perish, and sink under the burden of Sin, if thy mercifull hand doe not save me, and lift me up. I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devill and my Lusts, and without thy Succor can never hope to get free. O Lord for give my Sin, and heal my Soul: deliver and save me for thy mercies sake!

May I not yet hope in thy mercy? thou hast mercyfully born with me hitherto: thou callest me to repent: thou commandest me to return, and promisest to forgive [Page 269]those Sins which are confessed and forsaken: O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence, now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee! I abhorr my self in dust and ashes, for my past Iniquities. But alas! such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart, that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance: how much more may God despise and reject it? But hast thou not given thy H. Son to dye for Sinners? and exalted him to this very end, to be a Prince and a Saviour, to give Repentance, and Remission of Sins? And by the word of thy Grace, thou beseechest all, (even the Greatest Sinners,) to accept of mercy; and art more willing to pardon, then we can be to Repent. Tis thy Delight and Glory, agreable to thy na­ture, and declared Name, as a God gracious, and mercifull, [Page 270]slow to Anger; and of great Kindness, fergiving Iniquity, Transgression, and Sin. O Par­don mine Iniquity for it is great, and receive an humble Penitent, who implores thy Grace, accor­ding to the Tenor of thy new Co­venant, flying to the arms of thy Mercy, thro the merits of Jesus Christ, who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him.

Lord, hear my Prayer, and let not the mixture of my weak­nesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin: but graciously vouch­safe to look upon a returning Prodigal; and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness, that my sorrowfull Heart may be comforted, and my life be dire­cted to thy Praise. Lead me into the path of life, that I may no longer erre from the way of thy Commandments: Teach me to [Page 271]do thy Will, o God, and write thy Law upon my heart, that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evill of Sin, of thy Right to govern me, of the equity and Justice of thy Law, of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts: O sancti­fie my Heart, and make me Sound in thy Statutes, that I may hate every false way, and be de­voted to thy Fear, the remainder of my Life.

If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness, which thro the power of Temptation, and the deceitfullness of Sin you have fallen into; that hath wasted Con­science, and robb'd you of your Peace, and provok't God to write bitter things against you; be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding: Confess it freely, with its aggra­vations. [Page 272]Consider wither it was not after some special manifesta­tion of God's Love, after some special warning, some strong Conviction, under or soon after some great Affliction from God, or some more then ordinary kindness of his Providence, &c. and impress such Thoughts, to humble your self the lower, search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy, such as the abatement of your watchfull­ness, the neglect of serious closet devotion, making bold with Temptation, too great compliance with vaine Company, venturing too far in lawfull or indifferent Things, too much Confidence in your own Wisdom, Strength and stedfast­ness, not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin, or avoiding the fuell, in­centives, and occasions of it, [Page 273]&c. Palliate and disguise nothing, that may make your sin exceeding sinfull, least by some little Art of the Devil, you deceive your self by an half-Repentance; and the Evil Spirit, you think to be cast out, return againe with seven worse then himself, and so your latter end be worse then your Be­ginning. For if the sin be not truly hated, but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes, it will quickly flame out againe, when it meets with combustible matter, and a strong blast of Tem­ptation.

But if you are griev'd to the very Heart, and abhorr the Sin, and resolve to quitt it, you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy. His Spirit is yet striving with you, if you are willing to Repent, and return to God. He sought you, and call'd you to return, when you were [Page 274]wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way; and can you think, he will not be found of you, if you seek him with your whole Heart? Therfore renew your Repentan­ce, and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility, Holy Fear, and Watchfullness: and every mor­ning implore divine succors against that Sin, and all Tempta­tions to it. ( Which, as much as possible, you must avoid.) Con­stant and fervent Prayer, after Repentance, must be your refu­ge, and your Remedy. If you let fall your hands, this Amaleck will prevail againe: assoon and as far as you fail in the constancy, and fervency of that Duty, your Sin will get strengh, and success­fully attempt you another Time. But by this practise, God may turn Evil to work for Good, make you gaine by your loss, stand the faster by your Falls, and become [Page 275]stronger by the discovery of your weakness, and better establisht for the future.

But take heed that you pervert not the Grace of God, and en­courage your self to sin againe by the supposition, that if you should Fall, 'tis but to Repent, and renew your Resolutions, and all will be well. This is a subtle Ar­tifice of Satan, but such methinks, as should take with none, who have ever known by Experience, what it is to Repent. Luke 23. c. 30 17. [...] 2. Who have felt the burden of Sin to be hea­vier then a Millstone; then the weight of a Mountaine. Who have tasted, how evill and bitter a thing it is, to depart from God. Who have loathed and abhorr'd themselves, with deep Remorse, and sorrow, and An­guish of Spirit: wishing with all their Hearts, that they had not sinn'd, and if it were in their [Page 276]power would give all the world to retrieve it, and would rather dye then commit that Folly again, they then repented of. Let those who have not their own Experience to confirm this, read over (and consider the case of David, when he wrote) the Pe­nitential Psalms. How many like him have roar'd and cryed out under the sence of sin, of stings and furies in their Conscience, of the poison'd Arrows surroun­ding them wherever they went: from the weight of sins Malignity, the apprehensions of God's Anger, and the consequent Fears of his Wrath. Serious Repen­tance after great Transgressions is another Thing then most ima­gine it. When their aggravated Sins shall besett them behind, and before, be placed in order before their eyes, and set in array against them. 'Tis allways a work [Page 277]of Difficulty as well as Importan­ce, to crucifie corrupt affections, to tear a beloved Lust from the Heart, with self-indignation to abhorr and cast away what before you lou'd and delighted in. How did David's sin stare him in the Face, it is continually with me, it is ever before me, saith He. It haunted him like a Spectre, or like Belshazar's handwriting on the wall, it still appear'd before him in some horrid shape.

How ever Sin may smile in its first address, and bespeak us in flattering language, and promise Pleasure, and Profit, and great Advantages and Satisfaction; These are but fair Appearan­ces; This is but the outside of the Cup, and the colour of the Liquor: it will prove Gall and Wormwood, and a mixture of deadly Poison, if ever God set it home upon the Conscience, [Page 278]and awaken us to a true sence of it. And the Continuance of dayly Repentance for Sin, Which all Christians are called to, is no such easy matter neither. Con­stant self-abasement and Humi­liation before God, from a sence of his Majesty and Holiness, and of our many Sins, and pollution therby: the imperfection of our best duties continually to be be­wailed, inordinate affections to be still mortified, always resisting and opposing Sin, in its Root and branches, conflicting against the whole Intrest of the Flesh, the world, and the Devil, seeking after more Holiness, to be de­riv'd unto us by the Grace of Christ, to be wrought in us by his Spirit, and maintain'd by his power; and making dayly appli­cations to the Fountaine of all Grace, for spiritual strength, to continue our warfare against Sin, [Page 279]in all Instances of outward duty and inward Actings of Grace, even as long as we live; all this is included in it. Due Apprehen­sions concerning Repentance, would teach us to beware of Sin.

XXVII.

HAving acknowledg'd my Transgressions unto God, and beg'd forgiveness, and experimentally learnt the Evil of Sin by the bitterness of Repentance, I resolve for the future to watch against it more [Page 280]narowly, and against every thing that leads to it: endeavoring to please and honour my God and Saviour by an upright obedient Heart and Life: And for the Re­mission of my former contra­cted Guilt, I trust to J. Christ according to the Revelation made in the Gospell, of what he is, hath done, and suffer'd, and continues to do in Heaven, for the salvation of Repenting Sin­ners, who desire to come unto God by Him.

But how often, o my Soul, have I mockt God, and deceiv'd my self, with formal and faint Purposes of amendment? my good Resolutions have been all of them as the morning cloud, and the Early dew, which quickly passed away. One fresh assault of Temptation hath swept away all my good Purposes as a spiders web. I have falsified so many, [Page 281]and broke my word so often, that I dare not trust to any thing I now resolve, or rely on any pro­mise I should farther make. Suc­cor me therfore o Lord, by thy Powerfull Grace, that what was defective in my former fruitless Resolutions, may be now rectified. Let me be more Humble in the sense of my weakness, more dependant on thy Grace, and more heartily seek it from time to time. Strengthen me with Strength in my Soul, with might and power in my inward man, that I may so resolve and purpose, as to perform: that I may not be one day hot, and the next cold, zea­lous in the Beginning, but faint and lukewarm in the Progress, fervent and serious only in Re­solving, but weak and impotent in the Execution.

Having chang' my Master, my End, and my Hopes, by retur­ning [Page 282]unto God, from whom I had gone astray, I firmly resolve, thro the assistance of his Grace, to change my course of Life. That old things being done away, all things may become new: that being made free from Sin, by par­doning Mercy, Rom. 6. c. 22. and become the servant of Christ, I may have my fruit unto Holiness, that my End may be Eternal Life. In the inte­rim wither I live or dye, let it be unto the Lord, resolving both in Life and Death to be absolu­tely His. And to that purpose, O my Soul, let me seek for con­tinual supplies of Grace from Christ my Head, to inable me to yeild ready obedience, in the most difficult, hazardous, pain­full and humbling duties. In vaine do I resolue it, without the assistance of his mighty Power, to strengthen my Heart and hands, when ever I am called to such a [Page 283]Trial of my sincerity. Without it I shall never recover my Liber­ty, or break a sunder those bonds and cords, wherwith I have for­merly been held Captive, as the Servant of Sin and Satan, such is the weakness and treachery of of my own Heart, the influence of ill Examples, and the subtle­ty and cunning of the Tempter, that otherwise I shall quickly change my mind, and return to Folly, as the Dog to his vomit. The Spirit is so weak, and the Flesh so frail, the snares of the World so many, the power of remaining Corruption so strong, and of my self I am so unsetled and wavering, fickle and unstea­dy, and prone to Backsliding, that all my strongest Purposes will not be sufficient, without dayly strength from above. My senses are so deceitfull, my Passions so ungovernable, the Rule and Law [Page 284]I am to walk by, so strict, and spi­ritual, and extensive, Criminal Omissions may be so frequent, and easily overlook't, so many several and difficult Duties are to be performed, and by every change of my Condition, or of God's Providence so many new dangers, and new duties may arise, that I fear the issue of my firmest Resolutions. So strict a watch must allways be kept, such humility and Caution is every where to be practis'd, such speedy Repentance required after every fall; with thankfullness and con­tentment in every State, under all Calamities, be they never so many or never so pinching, and perseverance herein absoluty ne­cessary, tho never so many stra­tagems be used to discourage me from proceding, or to intice me to goe back, or turn aside to some other Path, that if God had not [Page 285]promised me his Continued pre­sence, and that his Grace shall be sufficient for me, and that I shall not be Tempted above what I am able to bear; I should utterly despaire of making good what I now resolve.

But besides these promises to encourage my resolved obedien­ce, he hath left upon record in his word, many glorious Exam­ples of his assisting and rewarding the courage and resolution of his servants to continue faithfull: as in the case of Joseph, Daniel, and his Three, Friends, &c. If Christ stand by and strengthen me, I know I shall be able to do all things: I shall not then be flatte­red, or frighted out of the way of my duty: no wind that can blow shall then turn me to another point: nothing shall then be able to prevail for my consent, to a willfull and deliberate forsaking [Page 286]of God; no Argument, no Temptation; tho Privacy, Op­portunity, Impunity from men, with rewards of wordly Gaine and Honour, should all concurr to enforce a Temptation. But by that heavenly mind, I shall be pre­serv'd Humble, Temperate, Chast, patient, Thankfull, self-denying, crucifyed to the World, and hold fast my Integrity till I dye: still perfecting Holiness in the fear of God, growing in Grace, and in the Knowledg of my Lord and Saviour J. Christ, waxing stronger from day to day, be sel­domer surprized, offend less, and repent more quickly, and watch more narrowly afterwards: till at last I receive the Crown.

Fix therfore I beseech thee, most Gracious God! my unfeig­ned Resolutions of cleaving to thee, with full purpose of Heart, [Page 287]and show thy strength in my weak­ness, by inabling me to doe what I now resolve. To that end, teach me to watch over my Heart, to keep it with all diligence, to be more conversant with my own Thoughts, examining the motions that arise in my Heart, whence they come, and whither they goe, and what they tend to, that I may suppress the beginnings of Sin. Let me live no longer as a stranger to my self, but by self-reflexion dwell more at home, reckoning my principal Work to be within doors, to keep my own vineyard. Teach me to watch over my senses, to guard the door of my Lips, to govern my Pas­sions, to be wary of my Compa­ny, to be circumspect in every step of my dayly walk, to call my self frequently to a reckoning, to cast up my accounts at the foot of every page, by every days [Page 288]review of my Actions, to live allways as in God's presen­ce, and be awed every where by the thought of his Holy Eye, to shun the occasions and appearan­ees of Evil, &c.

And because no place, no Con­dition, no Imployment is exem­pted from Temptations, let me fortifie my self every morning, against all Assaults for that day, by Serious Prayer, as Holy David was wont to do. My voice, (saith he) shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my Prayer unto thee, and will look up. Psalm. 5. v. 3.4. Let the law of God be my dayly and delightfull study: that I may be able presently to bring my words and Actions to the Touch­stone; and know how to manage the sword of the Spirit, on all oc­casions, against the fiery Darts of the Devil: that knowing the [Page 289]rule, I may not be doubtfull or at a losse, when ever I am Tempted: I may not make a stand to parley, but immediately, summon all my forces to resist, and reject the snare; being assur'd from God, that the Continuance of this warfare shall end in a most Glorious Victory. He will shortly tread down Satan under our feet. Thanks be to God, thro Jesus Christ, my Lord.

XXVIII.

ALl this, O my soul, which I have now resolu'd on is no more then what I am obliged to, [Page 290]by my vow in Baptism: to re­nounce the Devil and his works, the Flesh and the Lusts therof, the World, and conformity to it, that I may Love and Serve the Lord: agreable to the undoubted Right which God hath in me by Creation, Redemption, and his innumerable other Benefits. But The outward washing of Baptism, and a visible profession of obedience, will not save me, without the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. 1 Pet. cap. 3. v. 21. May I not by the consideration of my Baptismal Covenant suppose God speaking to my Conscience, to this effect? ‘Will you take me for your whole Portion and Felici­ty? and my Law for the con­stant Rule of your obedience? and fight against the world, the flesh, and the Devil, to your lives end? will you believe in [Page 291]Jesus Christ, and receive him as a Prince and Saviour? and ad­here to the faith and obedience of the Gospel, how hazardous and difficult soever, the profes­sion and practice of it may be? Will you receive the B. Spirit, as your Teacher Sanctifier, and Comforter? and cherish all his Motions, to inlighten, purifie, confirm, comfort, and assist you?’ 'Tis my hearty consent to these Terms, and resolved com­pliance with them, which Baptism obligeth to? and this is the Answer of a good Conscience towards God.

I have often renewed this Co­venant on several occasions; but did I ever duely consider the tenor and obligation of it? How have I lyed unto the God of Truth? dealt deceitfully whath Him? and been False and Fickle, treache­rous and unfaithfull to what I [Page 292]promised? O let me now againe repeat it, and give up my self once more to be the Lords, more unfeignedly, more firmly then ever I have hitherto done! that the bonds of God upon me may be strengthned, and my soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lords. O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness, as the most important Affaire of my whole Life! by thine aid and grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and De­dication of my self. O breath upon my soul, most H. Spirit, (the Power of the Highest,) that there may be no Hypocrisy or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and me!

O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY! Father, Son, and H. Spirit, Thy favor is my Life, and thy Loving kindness is [Page 293]better then Life: Thy Will should have been my Rule, thy word my Law, thy Glory my end, to please thee my principal Business, and to injoy thy Love and Presen­ce my ultimate Felicity. But I am one of thy revolted Creatu­res, who have lost thine Image, and rebell'd against thy Law, slighted thy Authority, and re­jected thy Grace, and deserve to be cast out of thy sight, and banisht from thy Presence for ever. Nevertheless, O most mercifull God, and Father, upon thy gracious invitation and call, I now return to thee my rightfull Lord: acknowledging thee, as my Allmighty, Wise, and Bountifull Creator, my absolute Owner my Righteous Gover­nour, my End, my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy; I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace; [Page 294]and give up my self to Thee, as my King, and my God; to rule and sanctifie me now, and be my Everlasting Portion. I desire to be no longer my own, but Thine, to whom of right I belong, and ought to be devoted. I yeild my self to Thee, O my Lord! Ac­cept and possess that which is thine own. I lay my self at thy Foot, at all Times, and in all Conditions, to be at thy dispose, and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure. Delibera­tely resolving, with unfeigned and free consent of my Will, to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life. Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual avowed Servant: Lord, I am thy servant, I am thy servant, the Son of thine Hand maid. Tho other Lords have had domi­nion over me, I will now make [Page 295]mention of thy Name, and of thy Righteousness only, by Jesus Christ.

O Blessed Jesus, my All suf­ficient Saviour! Thy dying Love, infinite Condescention, and matchless Grace hath at last over­come me, and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine, who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Bloud. I now acknowledge and own Thee, as my Lord, and my Jesus, my Prophet, Priest, and King, my Sacrifice, Surety, and Ransom, to satisfie for my sins, and recon­cile me unto God, to instruct me in his will, and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom, and the way to the Father. How often hast thou open'd thine arms, and called me, yea beseecht me to come unto thee, and accept of Life? but I refused, to come. I adore thy mercifull Condescen­tion, [Page 296]that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms. O thou Lord of life and glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner, who flies to Thee as his only Re­fuge and Hope: who is convinc't that None but Christ, None but Christ can make his Peace with God, and save from wrath come. I acknowledge thy Title to me, and my obedience, and to all I have, by dying for me. I desire to take thy yoke upon me, for it is Easy; and thy Burden, which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine, in an Ever­lasting Covenant, never to be broken: to take up the Crosse, and follow thee, whither so ever thou shalt lead me, thro the straight Gate, and the narrow way. I will reserve no Lust, refuse no Labor, grudge at no suffe­ring, stick at no difficulty, so I may please, and honour thee, [Page 297]and continue in thy Love. Os hed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart, to make all Things easy for his sake, who hath loved me, and washed me from my Sins in his own Bloud.

O God the Holy Ghost, I ack­nowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier, and give up my self to Thee, as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Ho­liness: By Thee I have been con­vinc't of my Sin, against the Law of God, and the Gospel of Christ, and of my necessity of his merit, satisfaction, and Righteousness, to Justifie my guilty Soul, by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin, and my ac­ceptance with God; and of the freeness of his Love, the Riches and all sufficiency of his Grace, towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee, O most Blessed Spirit, as proceeding [Page 298]and sent from the Father and the Son, to renew all the Powers of my Soul, and restore the divine Image there; to enlighten my mind, to know and receive the Truth, as it is in Jesus, and pu­rifie my Heart: and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body, and make them Instruments of Righ­teousness unto Holiness, which before were servants unto Sin; and gradually to deliver me from the power, the defilement, and abode of Sin; as from the Guilt and Punishment by the bloud of Jesus. And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the H. Scri­ptures; and as the Great Para­clete, to comfort and establish the Hearts of Belivers, sealing them up to the day of Redemp­tion, and giving them the Ear­nest of the Heavenly Inheritance. O Blessed Spirit, be thou my witness, that tho I have violated [Page 299]the Law of God, and defac't his Image, and formerly underva­lu'd the Love of Christ, and the Grace of the Gospell, yet by thine aid I now accept what I have so long neglected: and thankfully devote my self hence forward to be the Lords in a Covenant Rela­tion.

But fearing and distrusting my self, I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace, depen­ding upon it for my establishment and perseverance. O form my Heart into an obediential Frame! that in every thing I may endea­vor to answer the Ends and Obli­gations of this Devoted State.

To this One God I have once againe dedicated and resign'd my self; to serve, and please, and honour Thee, in Thought, Word, and Act, to the last moment of my Life: in the Per­formance of all Duties, even [Page 300]those whic I have been most aver­se from; in the mortification of every Lust, and the forsaking of every Sin, even those which I was once most addicted to: Re­solving deliberately to allow my self in nothing, great or little, secret or open, which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy will, making it my business to be fruitfull in good works, to the praise of my Redeemer: waiting in the use of all his apointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness, to be more victorious over inward Lusts, and outward temptations, still pres­sing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling, even eternal Life.

I call Heaven and Earth, O Lord, to witness this day, that I own and avow this to be my Mind, and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I againe [Page 301]ratifie and confirm, with out any Clauses, or Exceptions. So help me, O my God. Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the H. Spirit.

XXIX.

I Have this day solemnly avou­ched the Lord to be my God, Deut. 6. c. 17.18. to walk in his ways: therby to fortifie my Resolutions, that I and my House, (and All that I can per­suade to be of my mind,) will serve the Lord. I intend, desire, and hope never willfully to viola­te the Faith, I have now plighted in the presence of God: but to continue stedfast unmoveable, [Page 302]all was abounding in the work of the Lord, &c.

Should I undertake any new Imployment, or enter into any new Condition, or change the place of my Abode, where I might see more of God's disho­nour, and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin, and be called to the performance of more difficult duties, greater Watchfullness and self denial, &c. I would hope hereby to in­gage the presence of God with me, and his Blessing on all my Affaires, on which depends the success of all that I undertake: and would hope the better to pre­serve my Integrity, not only This Year, but in all the remaining portion of my Time, by the abi­ding sense of my Covenant with God, thus seriously renewed.

This is the method, I have been often advis'd to, for Peace of [Page 303]Conscience, under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual State: to put the matter out of doubt, by againe accepting the offered mercy and Grace of the Gospell, and heartily consenting to the new Covenant: giving up my self to God in Christ, to be ruled and saved by him. Blessed be God, I have now done so. Lord, say Amen to thy part of the Cove­nant, that Thou art and wilt be my God; as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine, that I will be thy Servant.

But because Articles are sooner consented to, then made Good; (tho I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed, but firmly to adhere to it, as long as I live; that having sworn, I will endeavor to perform it, that this shall be my Everla­sting Choice, never to be recan­ted or alter'd, yet) considering [Page 304]the sad Instances of my former weakness, and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adver­sary, I againe implore the succor of divine Grace, to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart, that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians, never to be reverst. I have given up my name to be Thine; O put thy Fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee. Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart, that my obe­dience may be uniform and uni­versal, unwavering and perpe­tual; suitable [...] so honourable and near a Relation to Thee. I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose, but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee, who givest liberally, to All without desert, and upbra [...]est not, with present unworthiness or former faults. O lead me not into Tempta­tien, but deliver me from Evill. [Page 305]Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial, least I forget my vows, and deny Thee. O that my Soul may never draw back, least Thine have no Pleasure in me. I can serve no better Ma­ster: O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine house, as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 'tis my Duty, I am sensible 'tis my Priviliedge, and Honour, I am convin'd, that 'tis my Interest and Felicity; my Soul, my Life, my present and everlasting Well-fare and All depends upon it, that thou shouldst be my God for ever: O conduct me by thy H. Spirit of Grace, that I may walk and Act, as having heartily consented he should be so: and direct my Heart into thy Love, and the faithfull keeping of thy Commandments. That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a [Page 306]Good Conscience, and discredit the Religion of my Lord, by their shamefull Falls, thou mayst make me to stand, and improve the warning of their Examples, to walk humbly, and while I stand to take heed least I fall.

Having thus surrendred my self to God, what is there o my Soul, that is ever like to prevail with me to goe back, and revolt from him? Is the gratification of a Lust, the securing of an Estate, compliance with a Friend, the pleasing of a Superior, living in Ease and Honour, and outward Prosperity for a little while, the saving my Body from suffering, or my Life from violence, (or what ever els be the Motive of my ufaithfullness to God, and Apostacy from Him,) Is Any, is All of these any way considera­ble, compared with the Blessed­ness of having God to be my God. [Page 307]For therby I have the forgiveness of all my Sins; and the Assuran­ce of his Favor, the certainty of present Protection, and Provi­sion, all Creatures reconciled to me, and to be imployed for my Good, as the Friend of God; All things to work together for my Advantage; and by the evi­dence of my Adoption, a well grounded hope of Eternal Life. God as my Sun and Shield, will give Grace and Glory, and with hold no Good Thing. So unspeaka­bly Comprehensive are the Privi­liedges of so near a Relation to God in Christ. O happy are the People, who are in such a case! Blessed are the Persons, whose God is the Lord.

Doe I resolve to abide by my Choice, and to trust in Christ, for persevering Grace, and shall I not, ought I not to take Comfort in it? Shall I not give God the [Page 308]Glory of his infinite Goodness, by adhering to him and rejoycing in him, notwithstanding all Temp­tations to the Contrary? Casting all my care upon him, and quieting my self in the All-sufficiency of my Heavenly Fa­ther: having a God in Covenant, who will supply all my wants, and take care of me as his Own. Shall I not give him the glory of his Truth and Power, by trusting him in every Condition? by confi­dence in his Promise, Depen­dance on his Word, Faithfull­ness to his Interest, and Con­stancy in his Service to the end? Is it not a most encouraging Thought, that God doth never Abandon any, who do not first forsake him? And after such strict Engagements as I have laid upon my self, shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own Hand? shall I be off and on, say [Page 309]and unsay, promise and retract? and after I have proceeded thus far, shall I forsake the Fountaine of Living Waters, and turn agai­ne to broken Cisterns?

After I have examin'd my self, considerd my ways, confest my Sins, and upon serious Delibe­ration am come to a Resolve, and in pursuance of it have devoted my self with such solemnity to be the Lords, shall I ever after this, forsake Him, & my own Mer­cies, and lightly esteem the Rock of my Salvation? Now I have learn'd in some mensure what Sin is, by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance; now I have discoverd so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan, wherby I have formerly been be­traid: now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerfull in­fluence and Infection of bad Company, the Treachery of [Page 310]fleshly Lusts, the bewitching Temptations of the World, and have tasted a little, by my own Experience, of the Pleasantness of Wisdoms Paths, the Peace and satisfaction of Devotedness to God, by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience, the com­munications of divine Grace, and the Encouragement of an Holy Hope, &c. and am per­fuaded of the Stability of his Word, and the Certainty of Eternal Life to all who continue in well-doing; shall I after all this ever break with God againe? shall I ever cancell this Engage­ment? violate this my Vow? and falsifie so many repeated Promi­ses and Resolutions? Oh that his Power may rest upon me! and his Grace work in me both to will and to Doe! that this God may be my God for ever, and my Guide unto Death. Let me never reassu­me [Page 311]this Gift and Surrender of my self, or defraud God of his Right and Propriety. His I am, and Him I will serve: living whol­ly to Him; using all I have for him: being willing he should do what he list with his own, and consequently dispose of me, and of all that any way belongs to me, as shall seem Good in his Eyes. I am Thine, O Lord save me. Command me my work, apoint me my Duty, direct my Station, order my Condition; let me be Thine, tho imploid in the mea­nest service, and the most! abo­rious selfdenying work. Tho I should be but a Doorkeeper in thine House, an Hewer of Wood, or a Drawer of water: Tho I must pinch the flesh, and swim against the Tide, and renounce what before I valued: yet This God shall be my God for ever.

By this means when I come to [Page 312]Dye, (if God should add more years to the little number I have past, besides this I have now be­gun,) I may be able to say with Upright Hezekiah, Remember Lord, how I have walked before Thee in mine Integrity. That in the face of Death, and the Grave, in the view of another World, and the near prospect of Eternity, I may be able to Reioyce in Hope, and Say, Lord Jesus, Receive my Spirit. Thou art my Saviour, and I have waited for thy Salvation. I have sought Thee with my whole Heart; I have chosen thy Favor rather then Worldly Grandeur and Prosperity; I have prized thy Love, and endeavor'd to obey Thee, (as the best Expression of my own) tho with many Im­perfections, which I bewail; I have delighted more in thy Servi­ce and Presence, then in the [Page 313]Pleasures of Sin and vanity; thy Testi­monies have been the Joy of my Heart; I took no delight in the Company of the ungodly, after I was devoted to Thee; O let me not have my Portion with them in the other World! Fortifie me now against the King of Terrors, strengthen me in this my last Conflict, enable me to triumph over Death by the Crosse of Christ, (my victorious Redeemer,) and carry me thro the dark valley, at the di­vorce of Soul and Body, and grant me an abundant entrance into thine heavenly Kingdom; Let me be numbred among thy Chosen, and my Body wait in Hope, 'till the general Resurrection, that I may then see thy Glory, and dwell with Thee for ever.

By voluntary consent and Choice, thou art my God; and thy Presence in Hea­ven, my ultimate Felicity; I have trusted to thy Gracious Promise, to prepare me for it, and bring me to it; O fullfill thy Word unto thy Servant, wherin thou hast caued me to hope, and mercifully receive [Page 314]my departing Soul, that seeks Thee, that loves Thee, that breaths after Thee, and desires nothing but to know Thee better, and love Thee more, and be more enti­rely conform'd to thine Image, and live allways in thy B. Presence. Amen, Holy Father, be it unto me according to thy Word; thro the Merits and Intercession of my Allsufficient Saviour, J. Christ, the Faithfull and True Witness, in whom all thy Promises are Yea, and Amen.

XXX.

HOw precious and delightfull are the Thoughts of thy Benefits? O Lord how great is the sum of them? Should I count them, they are more in number then the stars. Shall I not observe an [...] consider them? maintaine a grateful [Page 315]sense of 'em and publickly acknowledg them on all occasions? that I may Bless the Lord at all Times, and his Prayse be continually in my mouth. More especially should I conclude and begin the Year with solemn Praises to my Great Benefactor and Preserver. I ought to begin and close every Day with it, therby to make the outgoings of the Morning and the Evening to rejoyce in God. Every year, every Day, every Hour, every Moment offers me an occasion to praise Him: because he is every minute gracious; and hath been so ever since he gave me my Being.

Allmost one half of my Time hath been spent in Sleep, when I remember not God, nor my self; yet doth He, who never slumbers or sleeps, remember me in Mercy, and watch over me for Good. Yea tho in the other half, by Day, I have forgotten him in a worse sense, by casting off his Fear, and not remem­bring that his Holy Eye is upon me, yet hath he not forgotten to be Gracious. [Page 316]Therfore I will Praise the name of God with a song, and will magnifie him with Thanksgiving, and never forget his Be­nefits. With which Sacrifice, he is better pleased then with an Oxe or Bullock, that hath horns and hoofs.

He hath prolonged my Life this last Year, when so many others, of his more usefull servants, have been remov'd by Death: and given me farther Time and Space to Repent, when multitudes have been surpriz'd in their Impenitence. Yea, it was He, who formed me in the womb, and brought me safely into the world; by whose Providence I have hitherto been supplied: in Him I live, and move, and continually exist, To his undeserved Goodness I am beholding for all the Good of any kind, which I ever enjo'yd: to his Bounty I am indebted for all that I now have; and must depend upon it, for what ever I can here after exspect.

Thro Infancy and Childhood he was pleas'd to preserve me; ¹ favouring me [Page 317]with many advantages in my Birth and Education; prividing for me a Compe­tent Livelyhood; disposing the Circum­stances of my Condition, Relations, Places of Abode, &c. more advanta­giously then he hath done for Thousands: affording me many helps, for the Im­proving of my mind, and the increase of Knowledg: and preventing my Ne­cessities, and even my Desires, with numberless Blessings which I never so much as askt for. He hath caused Seve­ral of my Relations to yeild me Comfort, when they might have been sore Affli­ctions. He hath raised up Strangers to befriend me, and show me kindness. How many favours have I receiv'd from God, by the Instrumentality of other Men? to whom God gave the Will, and the Power, the Opportunity, and the Incli­nation.

How often hath he deliver'd my Soul from Death, mine Eyes from Tears, and my Feet from falling, by seasonable Preservations? so that I do yet walk be­fore [Page 318]Him in the Land of the Living. He hath rescu'd me from the brink of many a Precipice, which, thro Ignorance or Inadvertency, did not apprehend or Fear. When I knew not which way to turn, he hath made my Path plaine. Under sinking Disapointments he hath comman­ded Succour; and been a present Help in the time of Trouble. In Great Perplexities, his Eye hath been my Guide, and his own Arm hath brought Salvation: it may be by the Ministry of his H. Angels, ob­eing his order, and giving unusual Inti­mations of very great, and otherwise un­suspected Dangers: or sending Relief and Deliverance, by such small, unlikely, and unexpected Means, as carried the name of God visibly ingraven on them. Innumerable Calamities he saves me from, which Others groan under: and as many Blessings am I favor'd with, whe­reof they are destitute. He Spreads my Table, and fills my Cup, and gives me All Things richly to enjoy, when many Excellent Persons, of whom the World [Page 319]is not worthy, are fed with the bread of Affliction, and the Water of Affliction. Others have only Necessaries, or but few Conveniencies, in Comparison with the Plentifull Provisions God hath made, for my Chearfull Obedience to Him. And shall I not Praise Him for the pre­cious Things of Heaven, the blessings of the Earth, the dew, and the deep? and more especially for the Goodwill of Him, who dwelt in the Bush, to sanctifie and sweeten All: Wherby Common Mer­cies become the pledge and fore-runner of better Things; as the fruit of his Special kindness, the witness of his Truth, and the seed of Peace and Joy, and Righteousness, and Praise; by rea­son of his Blessing on all that I possess, which otherwise would prove a snare, and a Temptation, and be intermixt with a Curse.

And besides the ordinary and Conti­nued Bounty of every Day, in the midst of how may Difficulties and Dangers, ² [Page 320]have I felt the dear obligations of his Preserving Mercy? abroad and at home; in forreign Countries, as well as my own; in the midst of Enimies, and among Friends; in all Places, and at all Times.

He hath prolonged my Health, or made my Bed in Sickness. He hath often granted the Desires of my Heart when ever it was for his Glory; and contradi­cted my wishes, and disapointed my En­deavors, in other Instances, when it was more to my Advantage. From how many Mischiefs hath he sav'd me, by such Things as I deprecated, and would have hinder'd? How many Evills hath he turn'd for Good? He hath heard my Cry in the day Adversity, and set my feet in a large Place. He hath Chasten'd me for my Profit: His Rod and his Staff have comforted me: He hath spoken comfortably to me in the Wilderness. Affliction hath been usefull and necessary Physick; made an Instrument of Vertue, and so a token of his Love. Therfore [Page 321] I will sing of the Mercy of the Lord for ever, and with the voice of Thanksgiving, will make known his Faithfullnes.

He hath all along conducted me by his Wisdom, guided me by his Providence, and the Angel of his Presence hath directed my Path, and ordered all my Goings. He hath been a Cloud to me by Day, and a Pillar of Fire by night: he hath helped me in my Straits, and sup­pli'd my wants, and comforted me in all my sadnesses: His powerfull and gracious Presence hath been my constant Guard; and his Soveraign never-failing Goodness hath com­past me about with Mercy on every side. For which, O most Mercifull Father, my Soul, and all that is within me, desires to speak thy Praise. ³

The advantagious Circumstances of many divine Favors do raise their [Page 322]value, and deserve to be particularly observ'd and and acknowledged. How suitably, how seasonably, how wisely hath he conser'd his Benefits? with what Tenderness and Kindness? with what Freedom and Readiness? Of his own bounty and goodwill, without any Necessity, or Obliga­tion on his Part; without any desert, and Sometimes without so much as a Prayer on mine. And what is more, notwithstanding my Ingratitude and Forgetfullness of Him, and great Provocations, heigthned by the abuse of so much Mercy: deman­ding nothing after all, in requital of so much Kindness, but my Accep­tance of his Love, and gratefull sense of his Goodness, and the sweetest and most reasonable Ex­pressions of it, by Thankfull Obe­dience.

More especially, would I Bless the Lord, for Inlightening my mind in the Great Mysteries of Religion: [Page 323]disposing in wonderfull Wisdom the several means and methods, wherby he brought me to the Know­ledg of the Truth, by Parents, Mi­nisters, Friends, Acquaintance, Books, Afflictions, &c. Beginning with me in Childhood, awakening and cultivating the inbred notions of God, and natural Religion, of Good and Evil, Rewards and Pu­nishments, by the carefull Instru­ctions of Parents, or others concern'd in my Education: giving me the ad­vantage of Good Examples, Coun­sels, and Encouragements, to know and do well; with more assistance, and less hindrances, and diversions, then to many Others. Particularly, for the Excellent Priviledge and in­estimable Blessing of his H. Word and Sacraments; the liberty of the Christian Religion, in the Purity of it, in most of those Places, where God hath been pleas'd to cast my Lot. Causing me to lay, down in green [Page 324]Pastures, and leading me beside the still Waters: Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by J. Christ: acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles, Precepts and Rules, Promises and Hopes of the Gospel, in order to E­ternal Life.

I bless Thee, O Lord, and shall for ever do so, that with any or all these advantages and helps, thy H. Spirit, hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus, heartily to believe and obey it. That by thy Grace, I have been convinc't of Sin, and brought to Repentance; showing me the necessity of a Saviour, to make my Peace with Thee, the All sufficiency of his Grace, the fullness of his merit, the freeness of his Love, and his readines to re­ceive me to mercy; inviting and calling me to it, and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation, and obey his Compassionate Call: ma­king [Page 325]me willing, by a Powerfull and Victorious Grace, drawing me with Cords of Love, and so effe­ctually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant, and comply with thy message, on the gracious terms of the Gospel. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord J. Christ, who, thro his abundant mercy, hath be­gotten me againe to a lively Hope: having humbled my proud Heart, and conquer'd the perversness of my Stubborn Will, and brought my Soul to an entire Subjection to him­self. Who took pitty on me, when he saw me in my Bloud, spread his skirt over me, cast a mantle upon my nakedness, washed me from my Sins, and put his own Comeliness upon me, by sanctification: who open'd my Eyes when I was leaping blinfold into the pit of Destruction: who healed my Soul, when I was fick unto Death: who rescue'd and recover'd me from the slavery of the [Page 326]Devil, when I was led Captive by him at his will. Shall not a ransom'd, redeemed Slave, be thankfull to his Deliverer? shall not a miserable un­done Sinner, who is receiv'd to mercy, be thankfull for a Pardon? A wake O my Soul! and utter a song of Praise to Him, who forgiveth all thine Iniquities, and healeth all thy Diseases, who redeemeth thy Life, (thy Soul,) from Destruction, and erowneth thee loving-kindness, and tender mercies.

Hath he made thee pertaker of his own renewed Image and likeness? given thee his Son, his Grace, his Spirit? and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a Relation to Himself, and promised to be thy God and Guide, thy Portion, and thine Inheritance, thy Friend, and thy Physitian, thy Sun, and thy shield, and thine exceeding great Reward? ⁴ and shall not my Soul speak [Page 327]aloud his Praise? Hath he been mercifull to my unrighteousness, and blotted out my sins? hath he gathe­red me with his arm, and carried me in his bosome? hath he been my Sa­viour and Redeemer, adopted me into his Family, and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory, with the H. Angels? the Curse being re­moved, and the hand writing against me cancell'd, the Price paid, the breach made up, the mouth of Ju­stice stopt, and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious pardon, thro the Sacrifi­ce of my B. Lord Jesus? and shall I not praise his incomprehensible Love and Grace?

I likewise thank Thee, most Holy Father, for saving me from Guilt and Ruine, when assaulted by powerfull and dangerous Tempta­tions: that by preventing mercy, or Restraining Grace, ⁵ thou hast kept [Page 328]me from many Scandalous and pre­sumptuous Crimes. I thank Thee, for making the Sins of Others, a warning and a Caution to me, an argument to humility, and a motive to watchfullness: for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and delusions, by which others are sedu­ced: for enabling me to improve any opportunities of doing Good: and making me in any thing usefull to Others: yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians; for all the Gifts and Graces and use­fullness of any of thy Servants, wherin, as a member of the same Body, I desire to rejoyce: for any support and comfort to me, or Any of them, under honourable Sufferings for thy name sake.

I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee, for any Succor, relief and victory, with respect to the snares and buffe­tings of Satan, and the vilest of his Temptations. When he hath temp­ted [Page 329]me to Apostacy, and Infidelity in Speculation and practise; to question the Truth of the H. Scrip­tures, and the Life to come; to doubt of the foundations of the Chri­stian Faith; or to despair of the mer­cy of God, and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts; or to draw me from God, by the love of the World, and the praise of men, by Evil Com­pany, Intemperance, secret wicked­ness, &c.

I bless Thee with my whole Soul, for calling me back from any of my Wanderings, and by infinite Good­ness recovering me after great Falls; enabling me to return, when I had gone astray, and seek thy forfeited Favor, that thou mayst heal my Back slidings: giving me, in order to it, a deep sense of my own Sin; and of thy Soveraign Grace; leading me to a Saviour, whose Bloud clean­seth from all Sin, when my guilty, defiled Soul so much needed its par­doning [Page 330]and cleansing vertue: awakening me to make holy vows, and calling upon me by thy word, and Spirit, and Providence to perform them.

I Bless Thee, who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace, when by the terrors of an accusing Conscien­ce, and the sense of unpardon'd Sin, and the apprehensions of thy deser­ved wrath, I was ready to despair. That tho thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time, it was but for a little while; but didst seasonably, and in mercy return, to wipe off my Tears, restore the Joy of thy salva­tion, and chase away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit, by the revi­ving presence of thy own. Thou who art the Author, wilt be the finisher of my Faith: and therfore tho thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fa­therly Rod, yet thy Lovingindness thou hast not taken from me, or suf­fer'd thy Faithfullness to fail, or [Page 331] thy Covenant of Peace to be removed, but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna, after great Perplexities, saying unto my Soul, I am God, even thy God: making me to hear thy voce, which was sweet, and to taste thy Love, which is better then wine; enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas, My Lord, and My God. And to have any Commu­nion with thee since, in publick or private Duties.

For all these innumerable Mercies, I desire to praise Thee, which yet are but in order to greater, to Ever­lasting Kindness in Heaven. These are but the taste, and earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter. O how great his his Goodness, that he hath laid up for Those that fear Him? And now Lord what wait I for? my Hope is even in Thee. I thank thee, who hast thus put it into my Heart, to render thee solemn Praise, and once more to renew my Covenant what thee.

I will magnifie the Lord, and my Spirit shall rejoyee in God my Sa­viour. Return unto thy rest, O my Soul, for the Lord hath dealt bounti­fully with me. While ^(a) I live I will praise Thee, and sing praises to my God, while I have a being. O come and behold the works of the Lord, what he hath done for my Soul! the Lord liveth; ^(b) Blessed be my Rock, and let the God of my Salvation be ex­alted. Let my Heart be glad, and my Glory rejoyce, for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God. Thanks be to God, who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus. Sing unto the Lord, O ye his Saints! and give thanks at the Remembrance of his Ho­liness. ^(c) I cryed unto thee, and thou hast healed, and sav'd me: I will give thanks to Thee for ever. ^(d) I will show forth thy Lovingkindness in the mor­ning, and thy Faithfullness every [Page 333]Night. For the Lord is Good, his mer­cy is Everlasting, and his Truth en­dures throout all Generations. O enter into his Gates with Thanksgi­ving, and his Courts with Praise: be thankfull unto him, and bless his na­me. Bless the Lord all ye his works in all places of his Dominion, Bless the Lord, O my Soul.

Let me add for a Conclusion; that the particular Deliverances, Sup­ports, and Consolations, which at any time God hath given in cases of great Exigence, or in answer to im­portunate Prayer, ought never to be forgotten. Many experienc't Chri­stians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them, with the particular Circumstances, that did recommend and enhanse the mercy, (wither Spiritual or Temporal,) as an en­couragement to trust in God, in future difficulties: and have afterwards found the Comfort and Ad­vantage, [Page 334]of being able to have re­course to such Papers. This practi­ce I recommend as what hath been usefull and Consolatory to diverse Christians, for many years after­ward: and to some others, of their more intimate Friends, to whom they might without vanity be impar­ted. What experiences might be re­corded of signal returns to Prayer, and seasonable manifestations of the Truth, and Goodness, and wisdom of God, if all the Instances therof were duely recollected and pre­serv'd? And how sweet and pleasant would the work of Prayer and Praise then be? with what rejoycing and delight should we set about it, & live in it? if the constraining Goodness & Love of God, and a Thankfull sense of his unspeakable mercies did bring us to him, and indite and animate every word? what support and com­fort, and probable hopes (at least) of the special Love of God might we de­rive [Page 335]from the various passages of his Compassion and kindness? And he­reby we may be able more heartily to give him thanks for Pardon, Sancti­fication, and Adoption, which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear.

It may likewise be advisable to ex­amine and record, the workings of your own Spirit, under such Dispen­sations. What Thoughts you then had of God? what acts of Faith, Love, Thankfullness you did then manifest? what Evidences of God's favor, and what discovery of your own Sincerity, you have had at such Times? when and how, and by what means you were cured of your un­comfortable unbelief, and raised from your despondency? what Pro­mises you had recourse to for relief? what Considerations were most help­full to you? what Frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer, before and after? what Resolutions and Engagements [Page 336]you made to God, to love, and trust, and praise, and serve him, and give up all to his dispose for the future? and what consequent obli­gation may be infer'd from thence, to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying, This God is our God for ever and ever, and He will be Our Guide unto Death.