Some passionate Letters and Verses, &c.
SInce this, Madam, Addresses it self to you, shrowded under such a permission as can defend it, from the violence of those apprehensions that attended my last; You may easily guess how I wish every Letter laden with such a legible Gratitude, and adorn'd with so submissive a Reverence, as might agreeably represent the power of your Merit, and the passionate Admiration I have of it. But Madam, it is as equally above my Hope, as my Capacity. And I shall only beseech your Ladyship, you will illustrate the Sense of the one, by your Knowledge of the other, and then, tho' you may still believe I want enough to make [Page 2]the return proportionable, yet you will no longer doubt my paying all. These are not, Madam, the suddain Impresses upon Sense only, nor the immediate effects of that Fury which so commonly surprizeth, tho' I must confess I have with Impatience and Delight felt the influences of Methridatia's Eyes; but all that consideration, years, and a hopeless resistance could do, have so fataly convinced my reason, as what was but at first my inclination, hath long ago so much be come my Judgment, as pardon me for having often concluded with my self, 'twas no crime to acknowledge or submit to what I saw was inevitable. Yet Madam, they who have set the most refined Rules, and made such Discoveries the nicities of Romances, have never doom'd them to so long a confinement, nor produced more misfortunes for an expiation; if therefore the silent Oratory of Unhappiness, or the dumb Eloquence of Respect for so long a time past, can be any obligation to your being farther acquainted with what had so blameless [Page 3]a beginning, let me be forgiven: for seeing you would admit its continuance, and I here protest by all that's Sacred, it shall never know the violation of your Commands; and can a Passion destitute of pretences, by the merit its paid to, destructive of its own being by Arrogance or Disobedience, and hopeless of any Favour but what its Humility may intitle it to, be rejected or despised by one whose Generosity is extensive enough to oblige the World, and yet discerning enough to know the properest Objects for that venture; put me past this doubt, I beseech you, and let me know, that till you have a greater exception to my admiring you, then that I do admire you, it shall be allowed: Oh Madam, charm me with a favourable Return, as you have done with your Beauty, your Humour and your Wit, and perm [...]t me to tell you, that all the Reason and Senses I have, are tributary to several of your Perfections; nay, so irrevocably fixed, that like the Eart [...], it cannot loose its Natur [...], tho [...] it [Page 4]may its prolifick Virtue, when it lyeth benighted under the absence of the Sun, or where it never knows the power of a fertile Shower; Forgive this, and let me know it, unless you wish me the unhappiest of Men.
II.
WHat sweet Mithridatia terms Captivity, she has no reason to be dissatisfied withal; since being confined by no other obligation than her Parole, nor no longer by that, than [Page 6]whilst she is treated with all the respect and submission that can be due to a Princess; it may more properly be called Generosity, the Desert as well as Demerit of what ought to be paid her, having long ago justified a Remove; 'tis therefore generous Mithridatia that makes her obliging Mithridatia. And since I can find out no other reason to hope for her Favour, than that which makes her give it; She can be no longer tyed, than she declines making use of her Authority, and happy Call. That it so falls out, for had Call, by surprize, or her own negligence divested her of it, she could not have failed of regaining it by the accession of new Force, or by the weakness of that, by which I must have maintained it; but having laid down some part of her own Power, having descended from her Throne to raise a Peasant to the foot of it; it would be a greater violation of her Generosity to depress him now, than if she had never exalted him; You see Madam, the Terms I own to stand upon, I think it tacitly acknowledges [Page 7]all the Duty of my Soul, for my Happiness, and that being so closely allied, I must chuse to be miserable when I cease to be obedient; if you will therefore take a right estimate of the disproportion between poor Call. and charming Mithridatia, there can be no room for diffidence, but what either severe Mithridatia the other day said of her self, or from an Opinion I shall conspire to be the executioner of my own Delights, preferring Reproach and Affliction, before Honour and Content; I think I may lawfully Swear, I shall not do this, and as secure I am against the other; Pardon me, charming Mithridatia, that I vow, amongst other things, to have admired you for being just contrary to the Characters you gave of your self, and I am sure I am not mistaken, the Conditions upon which you admit my Respects, justifying my Belief; if therefore the having all that one can wish, or think of to Love and Admire, be any security that one should Love and Admire it. If our Reason and our Senses can conduct [Page 8]us to the sole Object of our Desires; I am undoubtedly brought within prospect of all that Interest, Inclination and Reason can think most valuable; there is no Soul so stupid, whose Delights are not comprehended in these, not to be fixed when these are attained, is to make it the pittifullest piece of the Creation; but we are better informed by those inferior Agents which all acquiesce in their Centers; And is Man alone the worse for being endued with the Happiness of a nobler, and more certain guide, than all the World besides, to be false to this Direction is to turn Beast, to destroy the Delights we aspire at, and wilfully extinguish that Glorious Light which the bounty of Fate hath allowed us; there is therefore fine Mithridatia, a period to a rational Man's Inconstancy, a time when he is past another Choice, by the Laws of his own Content; If you can therefore allow me Reason enough to know what I like, you must conclude me past a farther search; and that tho' I am as far from its possession, as if I [Page 9]had not found it, yet that I know where all that is delightful duely, I thought my self secure for one halfe Hour, but I am called and can only say, that I am with all the Passion and Respect imaginable Mithridatia's Admirer: altho' I am infinitely satisfied, Dearest Mithridatia, that upon the strictest inquiry, I cannot inform my self, whether has the greatest prevalency upon my Soul, my Passion, or my Respect; yet I cannot but confess the different Considerations they infuse, are oftentimes my disturbance, the present contest about this humble Offering, hath admitted of such a Dispute, as should I stay to hear what both could say, I might probably lose the opportunity, you will see the succession of this, which being carried in favour of my Desires, I am resolved to hope it will be as agreeable that I have waved the Rules of Ceremony, by so suddainly pursuing you with this trouble, as that I should have paid you that Compliment by the omission of this: Sweet Charming Mithridatia, tho' I am not [Page 10]so far raised upon the steps to Happiness, as to believe my Passion were the gratefullest Sacrifice I can make you; yet I should be too low for one that is admitted to make use of his Ambition in the service of so fine a Woman; if I thought you took no notice of its neglect, I will not so much as doubt then your forgiving this, but looking upon the greatest Indulgence to be most properly a Virtue of the greatest power, I beg of you to use it as a thing of your own Creation, the Genuine effect of that Beauty, Wit, and Generosity which hath made me the most passionate, and the most faithful of Men. Oh Mithridatia! How do you allay the pleasure I take in this Contemplation, by saying it cannot be, and if it were it could not make you happy: Had you only mentioned your doubt, I had not despair'd of its conviction, but if its assurance cannot confirm your Happiness, How little do I fear you wish it; 'tis true, I ought not to set so narrow limits to what deserves the whole World. But [Page 11]Madam, since not a Multitude but Fidelity; not Extent, but Obedience makes both Dominion and Happiness, Why may not you enjoy both? where the Territory is not small, as the Duty is large; It is not here confined by those common Considerations of Convenience or Satisfaction; Let but Mithridatia propose, and if I obey not implicitely, let her make me as much the Object of her Contempt, as I wish to be of her Favour: Why should you be so great a stranger to the happiness of being Absolute in the Breast of your Admirer; it must be the deserts of the place you are admired in, that prevent it, and those methinks you have too long known to turn so severely upon now: besides, I resolve to transform them into something so fit for the service I design you, that you shall not only make me a better Lover, but a better Man than ever I was; this claim to your kindness you ought not to deny, it being the consequent of such a Merit, and such a Love, as I beg of you to aske Sweet—Whether it [Page 12]were not a crime to part them,? If you will let her be the Priest, she shall at our next meeting, pronounce them inseparable, and then should my journey prove my death; I shall have all the satisfactions, that being parted from you can admit; and if there be such a thing in the next State, as retaining our least sentiments here, they will have Purity and Innocence enough to be my Companions there, Adieu.
III.
SInce all the content of my Life depends upon giving you these reiterated assurances of my Passion, you must, finest Mithridatia forgive me, if I seize upon all opportunities to tell you, I am now arriv'd to that [Page 14]degree, that living and loving you, is one and the same thing, and that nothing but the expiration of the one, can be the destruction of the other; the loss of your Favour will make me miserable in excess, but the end of my passion depends upon nothing but death, too violent a remedy for any thing but the dreadful misfortune of your unkindness, not so gastly, if I know my Heart, as to make me rather bear that burthen than shun it; but if you will incourage me to throw away these melancholy Reflections, and make me desire to preserve my life for your service, Accept of that Love which properly makes a Life, and which, under the severest dispensations, shall be pleasant to me with your kindness, the greatest Blessing I beg of this side Heaven, and of Heaven I beg it. Since the Reverence and Respect, I will use so great a Blessing with, shall be such as Angels shall not think Criminal, my desires have been regulated by that Virtue which makes my Passion such: My Friendship shall be Just and Constant, my Fidelity [Page 15]shall be as uncorrupted, as the sweet Mithridatia I adore; and the Admiration I have for you shall be so particular, as excluding all possibility of other Temptations; My Love shall Saint us; confirm this Passion of no common Nature, by all the Holy Obligations that such things can admit: Let our Vows, our Promises make as firm a Contract as Love can tye, and if I pursue you not all the days of my life with such uncessant peals of kindness as to Mankind, is now a stranger, make me the unhappiest of Men; for I am content you have this Reserve of banishing and ruining me, the moment I digress from what I say, you need not tell me of what any Mortal would dread, but I never presume to trouble you with that. Did your confidence in me bear an equal sway, I scarce know what could hinder you from preferring my Love before that of other Men, nay, all the World, since nothing in it ever lov'd a Woman more, or more submissively; the uncertainty of telling you this, and the care I must always take to preserve [Page 16]the niceties of your Reputation before my own Happiness; make me decline the Blessing of being near you, to give you these more distant Discoveries, I shall not expect you should be under so great inconveniencies in this place to make me returns of the same nature, but I must, and do upon my knees beseech you to make your Eyes and Tongue the messengers of my Happiness, you shall, with your permission, receive, when I can make an answer to them this way, for God above knows I had rather spend my time in this, or in the pleasure of your converse, than in all that my ambition or wishes can aspire to, Adieu, forgive me this, Callimicles.
IV.
I Come sweetest Delia, upon so sad an Errand, as will require both your Generosity and Compassion, to extenuate the misfortunes that attend it; 'Tis, Madam, to take my leave of you, and by that Word and Action of Parting, to tell you I am as unhappy as a [Page 17]Man divested of all he can call or think satisfaction can be supposed to be; 'tis true, the great part of my Life looks like a continued parting, but distance is a great aggravation of absence, and I am more unfortunate, as the space is greater between me, and that which alone can allay the troubles of my Life, or add to its content; The truth of this, Madam, is, as great as that I have a Being, and fixed upon my Soul in such indelible Characters, that to live and have respect for you above the rest of the World, is one and the same thing. Give me, dearest Madam, the delight to know you desire it should be so; and it shall not be in the power of any thing Humane to make it otherwise; This Passion implanted by all the irrefragable Arguments of Reason and Inclination, shall pursue you and your Interest, in all the shapes of friendship Gratitude and Service, shall pay you all those Duties the censorious World admits in acquaintance, and all those which Reverence and Fidelity impose upon one tyed by Vows and Love; if [Page 18]this condition charming Delia presents its self agreeably enough to obtain your Opinion of its being a Happiness desirable; scruple not to let me know it; 'twill be the only companion I wish in my journey, a permission to entertain my self with an assurance you will instate me in so great a Bliss will be all I now desire. Oh my admired Delia, make me as irresistibly yours by Obligation, as I am inevitably so by Passion; not that I can wish more reasons to be so, than I have, but that I would not have you want one to conclude me so; I hope you will forgive me if I am now more importunate than ordinarily in petitioning your Favour, and that I presume to give you this Note at this time, 'tis to beg of you, and I do it this moment upon my Knees, that you will add something this Afternoon to what I know you design me, that may convince me of my being in your Favour; let me in plain words without a dash, receive some such expression, as you do not usually part with; in return I will present you [Page 19]with Services shall be legible enough for you to understand, no Mortal was ever more in love, the Sun can as well cease his motion as Po. loving, you see how little I prize my own preservation, when I am always acquainting you with what you make use of to my destruction; However, I must, and do with all imaginable sincerity, protest my Vows and my Love, are the never to be parted Companions of my Soul, joyn'd by the force of Inclination, and secured by Laws, both Humane and Divine. Adieu.
V.
MY Dearest Dear Lady, every way Dear to poor Call. Where alone it is the faithfullest Servant living, searches for what is most valuable upon Earth, his Pleasure, his Ambition, and his Love terminates all their Wishes there, distant from thence every thing looses both its Nature and its Name: Quiet is a stranger, Content is not to be found, Time, the Soul, and Essence of every thing turns to torment to the then dear Authoress of all my Joy I have, and inseparable from my Thoughts. Doth Call. send this little and imperfect Atom of his Love, from larger Worlds of Thought; this Season having made him a Creature of Contemplation and Devotion: I do from the truth of the one, and consideration of the other avow, that I am sure I know his Soul so well, as to swear for him; he has more Love, more Admiration, and more Fidelity for dear Mithridatia, than all the World besides [Page 21]for the rest of her Sex; Oh Madam, I am in no humor to Lye, and yesterday being Sunday, where I eat the food of Angels, may all its Holy nourishment turn to my destruction, if ever I forsake or love my charming Mithridatia less; this is not the impression of a suddain Passion, no Madam, years before you ever knew it was my Adorable and admired Mithridatia, my Choice both by Reason and Inclination; But alass, What a Bar has Fate thrown betwixt us, will you be angry if I repeat what I told you the last time I had the Blessing to see you, come, it must be, it will be so; The old Parliament Gentleman chear'd up after Sixteen years despair. I shall yet live to own to the World a Passion, that you too much trusted in your last; Ah Mithridatia, I am so little able to support my self under the affliction of your disfavour, or under the seeming guilt of any thing derogatory to that respect and love, under which I have vowed to live and dye, as I have sent this to Mithridatia to beg, and beg it I do with all the [Page 22]earnestness imaginable, that she will send me one kind Line by this Bearer, and to dissipate my Fears she will bid me come and lay my self at her Feet; First to tell her of my Love, and then how it was my Brothers Business with my Mother, which I have been forc'd to adjust, there being accounts between them, that has created me much trouble; but how can I talk of trouble, when▪ I have all that can be called so in your unkindness; that I cannot, bear, oh dear Madam, let me no longer be left destitute of all I can think or esteem happiness, let not that be laid to my Charge, which whenever I contract upon my self, I withal bring a Sorrow that is as inconsistent with my Health, as Light and Darkness; Well, my dear Mithridatia, adieu, despise me not for my Demerit, nor yet for my Age, for upon my Salvation, I have Love enough to hide those blemishes, and Courage enough to dye for you, rather than live for any Woman else upon Earth; and to convince you of the truth of what I now say, I am come this moment out of [Page 23]my little Grove, where I have invoked the Holy Angels to witness against me to my Creator, whenever I prove false to my Vows. Ah Madam, I must lose the Image of my Maker, and the reasonable Soul wherewithal he has endued me, when such villanies enter my Breast; and till then disdain me not from being the most passionate, the most faithful, and the most obedient of Men, Callimachus.
VI.
I Should be unfortunate beyond expression, if the Malice or Design of prejudiced persons should lessen me in the Favour of her, to whom I pay a Homage of such a nature as I think in the Eye of Heaven, cannot be deemed criminal or defective, if there be such a thing as allowance for Humanity, if sweet Mi. find it guilty of either I shall submit to her Censure, but 'tis too unhappy to be at the mercy of others, for what they are not concern'd in. I beg you to distinguish between those who prefer you [Page 24]before all the World by Inclination, and those whose envy pay your Merit an unwilling acknowledgment in their emulation; we both in our way do you right, but I wish such a Joy as my own Happiness is not more engaged by it, than the content I take in your being more deserving than all the World. I beg leave to tell my amiable Mi. there dwells not in the Soul of Man, a Passion more securely guarded by Fidelity and Respect, as the one will always make me love and admire you, the other will always oblige me to do it in the manner you will approve, so that till you find I grow disobedient, give me not death by your unkindess, and when I change from what I have so often vow'd to Heaven and you; then my Charming Mi. may I become not only the scorn of every one, but an exemplary punishment of him that made me; May I dye unpittied, and my Grave be filled with infamy and reproach, when ever I forsake the only Woman upon Earth I ever lov'd (for by that great Argument Comparison, it is so,) [Page 25]then why will not my Adorable Mi. be contented with my Love. When she can tell her self it is such an one as the dull World is yet a stranger to; it pursues you Madam in every shape, Obedience, Duty and Submission are its attendance; my Fortune and my Life shall follow you to the last period, be but then contented I should live, and that impulse which has told me, so a thousand times, tells me now we shall yet live to get of the bright side of the Cloud, and end our days together, and if I fail you, may I never see the face of the Holy Beatitude: Adieu; Let me hear the next Post, unless you design me more misery than I can bear. Calli.
VII.
I This day, Madam, found two Papers with Superscriptions that soon recalled those Thoughts, that either publick or private Business had set on work, like Atoms that Stormy weather had set on float, retire when the Calm arrives; that Centre, Dear Methridatia, [Page 26](if I may say so) did all the wishes of my Soul repair to, yet not to be so firmly fixed, as to be without such agitations as Love produces, I was glad to see, yet feared what I was to see, and now I find my fears were not ill grounded; for after all the redress I found was a long reproach, Two whole Letters loading me with Injustice and Falsity, that never sound a moments Rest in any part of my Soul. What? did I go down to you to avoid you? And did I call at—going and coming, on purpose to miss you? Had I spent my time in some of your Business, that I might keep it from your Knowledge? Why such contradictions? Why such impossibilities, to contrive my misfortunes with? Why did you not throw a thicker Veil over your unkindness? A dim sighted Man may look through this, but I must not see, yet you force me too; For why such pleasure in resigning up my Vows? Why such suddain Declarations? that you wish no other causes of my Service, than my Service; you would have scorn'd that Notion [Page 27]at another time, as much as I prefer the Honour and the Love of Serving you before any other thing. and so you bid me adieu. Ah! How well do you know that is a farewel to all my Content; and how little I deserve this, let your own Reflections judge? You applaud my Generosity, Madam, But would it not prove the gratefullest effect of it? To bid adieu to my pretensions, and make in that Sacrifice, room for the more fortunate. Ah! Madam, I am scarce sit to write in the Humor I am in, my Soul being heavy to death; The All-seeing Powers know, I wish the World yours, and my little one in it, you should be sure of in spight all my great misfortunes; Your intelligence, Madam, I much admire, but were you halfe so kind to poor Call. as to lying Fame, you had been greater proof against such weak Assaults. Well, Madam, I'l trouble you no more now, but since you have made me so frank a Present of all my Vows, they come seasonably to my Relief. I send them to you all again, born upon the Wings of [Page 28]thousands more, and tho' they never reach the breast of my unjust Methridatia, I lay them all at her Feet with Love and Friendship. Well, for your Comfort, I am as little happy as you wish me, but when I am that false wretch you represent me, let Disease and Misfortune be my portion, and when I break one of the Vows I have made, ever to love you, may I be pointed at for the basest of Men. Adieu.
VIII.
HAving but one source, dearest Delia, from whence I derive all my Happiness, and but one refuge to appeal to in all my misfortunes, I hope you will no more repine than wonder, if you be the object of all my Addresses; 'tis from the joint consent of both these, that this presumption arrives you, and the Fate of both depending upon you; it were as unreasonable as impossible to expect any other redress; Give me leave therefore to tell you, that retiring into this little Cell, to spend those Minutes [Page 29]I can call my own in contemplation of what is so distant from all but my Thoughts, I was assaulted with such melancholy Reflections, upon that Discourse of charming Delia, which Subject I too well remember, (that my endeavours to love her less would be an obligation) if you had observed how it surprized and oppressed me; then, when I was with you, and when I had a thousand pleasures (like Showers upon a Flame) to allay it: What influence do you think it hath now, when I have nothing to withstand the cruelties of that Consideration. For my part, I am of opinion it gave me more trouble and more misfortune than you wish your greatest Enemy; but there being no Entertainment worse than that of Sorrow, I will at least exclude it from this Paper, and tell my Delia, that having lain under this pressure till it became insupportable; I was necessitated to that recourse of thinking more upon Delia, than what she said, which I own to have given me all, and the only quiet Moments I can enjoy [Page 30]in absence; Had you seen how diligently I searcht those Treasures of Bliss for an Antidote; I cannot but think in pity you would have given one your self to the Man that dies without you, and wishes not to live but for you; surely you would Delia, yes and have reversed the very mention of what carries with it Death, and so great an impossibility of Obedience: If I err in this, dear Madam, or am thought to have done too much to rescue my self from the tyranny of Grief, my submission shall yet inform you, I am unacquainted with presumption; nay, I will rather chuse to dye and love you silently, than lose one drachm of your esteem by an unpardonable Arrogance; Ah Delia did you know how madly I dote on you, you must be troubled at that cruciating thing you said to me; Tell me Dear, tell me who is that happy Man, I must be made a Sacrifice to, for were there not that in the cause, why, after so many years services of Duty and Fidelity (the strictest Man ever paid) Should I be wished out of the World, [Page 31]for there is no difference betwixt that, and what you would have me do; However, use me as you please, for never, never will I change from the vows I have made ever to love you, and to aver the Truth of what I now say, could I invent greater Curses than those I have already wished on my self, when ever I am that perjur'd Villain to renounce my Fidelity and Faith with you, I would by them conjure you, never to persecute me more with that which will bring me to my Grave; but as my Religion binds me to believe those I have already sworn to, will disrobe my Soul of all the Lustre and Bliss I wish it; so will they, I hope, be of consequence great enough for you to depend upon poor Pol. who has no life under your disfavour, which if you'll deign to preserve, shall be laid at your Feet with more Devotion, and more Delight, than ever Gums or Incense were offered by the most Seraphick Hermite. Adieu, my most admired Delia.
IX.
'TIs Joy upon Joy, Dear Madam, to have a long, (probably) an unlucky day, crown'd with the delight of hearing from sweet Asteria. Those Evenings are the propitious times that bring me a recompence for all my pains; that Salves all, Cures the distempers of a troubled Mind: What shall I say, How shall I thank the dear Fountain of all my Joy and Pleasure? 'Twas last night I received the Bliss, 'tis this Night, Darling, that I pay my Thanks; let such a distribution of my time ever be my Fate; Let me ever be receiving or acknowledging Benefits from that place, which makes the least Favour more materially my Happiness, than the greatest elsewhere; Ah dearest, ask me again and agan, when you shall see Orantes, do send me a thousand such Questions, I'le answer them in a thousand— when you'll permit me to see you; till then I'le only say I see nothing else, [Page 33]that can divert me, I have just sight enough to conduct me from one trouble to another: Thus the kind Turtle parted from his Mate, passes by a thousand Objects, and only mourns at all he sees; but met, their Joy, their Life and Love are through each others Bill conveyed. Dearest Asteria, give me one quarter of an hour, sit down and write all that Love inspires, shew me its strength in that kind Glass, it may flatter, and yet be like, That Art our finest Painters study, and Colour now set off the Features, it is impossible my sweetest, finest Asteria to Treat thee so; nay, contrarywise How dull a Rogue should I be, if I were call'd to Limn thee so, all I can say, can never tell the World, how much thou deservest my Passion, and my Duty, nor how much I love; but whither could I flye? to thy Arms I cannot? What matters then my poor remove? But not to be too troublesome, I will only add the firm resolution I have made, that as long as Heaven endues me with Reason and Sence, I will love Asteria, and nothing else, [Page 34]I wish my Period and a Thought, contrary to this, may have one and the same Moment. Adieu.
X.
THey that court Contemplation most, cannot brag of being more obliged by Her and all her Helps, than I, when I was last forc'd to repair to her for some assistance, against those misfortunes which began to attack me, when I was driven from that place, which neither comparison nor expression will permit me to describe; the time, dearest Delia obliged me with all the quiet, the Emblems of Death afford, Silence, Night, and the general retirement of all; but Poli, would have easily fed an ambitious Fancy, that he had all the World to himself; the Stars were full as bright as those which wandring Martillo changed for his Mistriss's want of Love; The Birds that Dion curst, for hindring Thought were all at rest; nay, Earth it self had got so soft a covering, my Horse could make no noise. [Page 35]Ah Dearest Delia, How do you think I spent the Night? or rather can you think it possible that the Beauties and the Charms I quitted, and the Passion I brought away, could make me spend it otherwise than I did; Blest Providence that made Thought not only the best argument of Man's living, but the best way to distinguish him from other parts of Created matter. I Thought indeed, and in that world of Thought, 'twas only Delia liv'd, and she appeared from thence as irresistible, as unparall'd. I did not long enjoy the pleasing Contemplation of the one, without the more severe one of the other; those very Powers which made her inevitable, rendred her also inaccessible; all the considerable occurrences of my life, since that moment, I had the presumption, or rather the necessity of telling sweet Delia that I lov'd, repassed the track of Thought, through which they had gone; guess then how many Storms I had within, which all the calm without could not allay, but futurity being so perfectly opposite to [Page 36]what is past, I must not expect to support the one, with what may serve the other; give me leave therefore to tell you, that death being infinitely my desire before life, without my love for Delia, that Passion must be unexpressibly miserable without her Favour. Ah Madam, I were unworthy and false to my own Reason, if I should not say, your Favour is inestimable; but since Heaven it self is attainable, May I not lay at your feet all the Service, all the Justice, and all the Fidelity, which Love, Merit and Gratitude have made irrevocable, and beg your leave, that these humble Emissaries may in my absence, make use of their intercession; I know they offer nothing which comes not also (like Tribute to the Sea) from numerous streams; But Just as well as Great, they who can least capitulate, have most reason to be protected.
XI.
SInce a Power above my own wishes, Dearest Delia, permits me not to chuse my own Happiness, I am forced to think it one to compound for such as I may hope to receve thus being now denied seeking for pleasures as innumerable as there are Beauties in Delia's Eyes; I must beg of my Charmer to transcribe them from that Copy; indeed I may not only read the Beauties of her Person, but the Ornaments of her Mind. I know not how kindly she may design to use me in the description of the the one, but the other must he natural, and I cannot but confess, nay, bind it with an Oath, that in absence I always found the power of Delia's Wit, enough to Eternize my Love and Respect, without any reflections upon her Face, and I must as firmly vow, That whenever I had the opportunity to make my Senses my Judges, I always thought it sufficient to be under the Dominion of her Eyes, [Page 38]without considering the Beauties of her Mind. But since I have heard of those who have been reproved for entertaining charming Delia upon this Subject, I shall only say, that it is not the first time my Love hath submitted to my Obedience. Ah, dearest Delia, let me hear from you, for I long to have some of those new Delights renewed, which this kind of Converse affords; Who can love as Pol. doth, and not seek to redress the miseries of Absence? Who that loseth the pleasure of one Sense, seeks not to indulge another? Who that is obliged to Thought for the greatest part of his Content, can live without seeking it some subsistance where Passion and Friendship meet; the integrity of the one obtains a Pardon for the other; What, fine Delia may not approve from her Lover, she may from her Friend: and it being yet disputable on which side the excess lies; sure where they both joyn, you must less doubt the truth, than I your reception: Dearest Delia, they both sympathize in the Message, and both beg of [Page 39]you to think upon poor Pol. And to conclude, he thinks of nothing but you: believe him in absence as miserable, as he believes Delia meritorious, dreaming and resolving upon nothing but his Fidelity and his Love; both these, Madam, shall take their measures from your directions; Oh, do but say how I ever can or shall serve you, and I will a thousand times sooner dispute being Happy than Obedient, Polierchus.
XII.
IF to all my Affliction I must meet with the addition of being so misinterpreted, as to have the destruction of that life attributed to me, which Heaven knows I would preserve with the loss of my own, I have then scarce another misfortune to look for, nor indeed, should want one to dispatch me, were I not in Reason as well as Opinion convinced, that upon consideration I shall be acquitted by that very breath that accused me; pray consider whether such a condition be [Page 40]consistent with what I have offered, if nothing else will do, think whether laying down every thing but my Soul to serve Delia, can have in it the thought of her prejudice; all this is at her service every hour of the day, but a thousand Worlds should never be my temptation for a days sorrow to her; give me not therefore this new wound, and throw that which is tenderer to me than my Eye, or my Heart; Ah charming De. heal all these by believing I love you with a Devotion above that of Authorities, as you might do all my other miseries, if you thought I deserved the Cure; No Delia, live, and live as the finest, the worthiest, and, the most charming Woman alive ought to do, and with this assurance, that whenever I must wade through a Sea of Miseries and Afflictions, nay, to death, to contribute to that happy condition you deserve, by all that's Sacred I'le do it; having said this, and vow'd once more by the Eternal Powers, that I will perform it, I will say no more. And now give me leave to tell you, that [Page 41]all kinds of Obedience, being as much your due as any ones, I will try what I can to live to serve you, till you require the other; yes, I will serve you with such Respect, with such Passion, and such Care, as neither you nor the World shall call me in question; Ah Delia; With what Transport did I find out that word Hope in your Letter, I know I perverted it to Senses you never meant, it was but a short Content I enjoyed by it, therefore pray forgive me, but in its most limited Sense I must acquaint you, that it gave me more redress than all the Physicians in Town could do; truly I must confess, I was in a condition very different from what I am in at this momoment; and tho' I try to recover, only that my relapse may be more dangerous, I will nevertheless obey you as fast as I can, and shall long of all things to hear, whether it be in my case better than Sacrifice; Blest Angels hover about you, and if it be true, that as faithful Guardians they inspire Dreams for our direction; may they infuse into your Soul, the [Page 42]and humble Passion I have for you, Delia will then know that no Mortal had ever more obedience than I, nor more power than Delia; make use of it, Madam, as you please, till Nature in my last Tragedy incapacitate me, you shall never fail of such effects, as the greatest Merit, and the greatest Love must necessarily produce. Adieu.
XIII.
YOu must be so abundantly satisfied, not only of the Notion I have of Happiness, but of the foundation I have laid of all I wish in this World, that it is impossible you should think Call. the person you represent him. Besides, knowing, fine Methri. so generous as to have some kind of content in making others happy. I am naturally led to the sad Reflections of my own Imperfections; when I enquire for a reason, why I should always be so unjustly and unkindly interpreted: Oh Madam, How can you say that the declaration of Contempt [Page 43]for charming Methri. would have lookt like the Sentiments of my Heart; but that you can never believe what I have made my whole business to convince you of: Bestow a moment, I beg of you, to consider, whether I were capable of saying the one, so long as Heaven Blest me with my Reason and my Sence; and think whether I deserve to have the other said to me; believe it, I have had no such pleasure since I see you last, as to want this allay, nor so unmindful of what is now the inseparable attendant of my life, as to merit this reproach. But how can you force your Reason to make such a construction of something else I said; as to conclude, I have taken such pains to deface that Idea, which is so infinitely preferible before any other object, 'tis true, I said since I admired you, and before you knew it; amongst other attempts I resolved to try the Philosophy of expelling Fire by Fire; but having given you an account of the success then, I wonder you could infer any thing but the contrary of [Page 44]what you did: Since that Blest moment wherein you deigned to know you were in my Thoughts the finest Woman living; I hope you do not expect I should give you Thanks for the obliging assistance you so readily offer me, or that in savour of your kind protestation, I should this Post, according to your desire, send you word, I am in want of your help; no Madam, I must tell you, that all the Trials you can find, not all the Charms of the Sex, not all the power of Call. can make me endeavour, desire, or think of so great baseness, or so much misfortune without horror; imagine then how infinitely you have afflicted one that loves the ground you tread on, one that would lay his Fortune and his Life, as he hath done his Love at your Feet, to obtain your Favour or Belief; But how impossible is it for me to enjoy these Blessings under the unhappy condition of Absence, where Malice, Emulation, and that ready Inclination that always waits upon you to make the severest and most undeserved [Page 45]Interpretation of whatever I can say or write, will still render me unfortunate. Well, sweetest Methridatia live, assured whatever Fate attends me in this unparallel'd concern, it shall be the last of this nature that shall ever possess my Soul, and that as you may secure me with all delight imaginable, whatever Passion, Reverence, or Fidelity made any Man, so under all misfortunes, you shall never divest me of these Resolves; adieu, if you will throw one Thought upon the greatest Fidelity in being; Let me not waste my tedious hours away in trouble of this kind, but send poor Call. some such expressions as have often fill'd his Heart with Joy, in return you shall be presented with treasures of Love and Respect in a Heart so full of Obedience, as shall make you as absolute in your power, as you are in your Merit. Adieu, Adieu.
XIV.
SInce the pleasures of poor Orantes increase with the health of sweetest Asteria, How do you think he is engaged for every moments care taken to preserve it; I know he is every day making it his business to requite the Obligation, and if I am not mistaken, or rather too short liv'd, I fancy I shall live to see dear Asteria convinced; Love, Friendship and Fidelity, are the Ballast of his Soul; Ah Madam, they carry his little Pinnace steady through all Storms and all Climates, and when he parts with them, may his Vessel sink, I long now for the happy time, but that submission which always guides me, is not now to fail me; well fine Asteria, Nature hath no stronger ties, no not those that hold the World together, than those that keep the faithful Orantes in your service, and you in the Heart of him, there it is you reign solely, that little Monarchy, adorable Asteria is your own; it is not in the power [Page 47]of Humane race to hinder it, and nothing but death can dethrone you; Yes Asteria, By the Eternal Powers 'tis true, and may I dye poor, unpittied and without friend, when I am perjured, or break rhe Vows I have call'd Heaven and all its Angels to witness to; no dear Asteria, Orantes would be the most inhumane, barbarous and unjustest of Mankind (the inferences from which will make up the greatest Imposture living) if he could admit a second Love to triumph there, then why may not the more powerful, and the more meritorious Asteria, love as well, and as long as Orantes, when once 'twas vowed; Why doth not that Law of the Medes and Persians tie the one as well as the other; Ah Asteria,
XV.
I Am, dearest Methridatia, saith a Miscellanie of Passions rais'd by hope of that tenderest compassion which so surround Delia. and so deprest by fear of my own demerits, that being unaccountable to my self, it cannot be supposed I should give any other relation to charming Meth. than that I love in spight of all those Calms and Tempests, whose suspence is a fresh torment; Ah sweet Meth. if I am to hear such news as will bring all the joys and quiet that can keep me alive, or can allay a thousand terrors, let me not be denied one minute from you, to inlarge upon Delia's resolution, whether she will depend upon Pol. for her Content, and Happiness, as he doth upon her for his Life, and every Breath he draws. But if inexorable Fate dooms me to more than I can express; and Delia gives up her self to another, that she may own her Conquest to the World; a little will serve to guess at what involves him [Page 49]unsuitable Sorrow, and what, I think will carry me to my Grave; Oh Methridatia, Delia is your Friend, perswade her I may live; tell her, 'tis pity such a mass of Love and Faith should be hurried to the lower Shades; tell her I will be her Skreen at Noon day, to keep her from the heat and violence of the Sun, and at night my Eyes shall keep a strict watch to guard her from the evils may happen; Do Methridatia tell her all this, and let me tell you, if ever Paper were attended with wishes violent enough to force success; this comes stored with enough, indeedi as many as ever the prospect of the greatest Bliss or Terror of the highest Misery, extorted from the Breast of Mortal. Adieu. For till I hear I have no more power to allow a word to any other Subject, than Misfortune hath to make Pol. alter his Faith and Love, that is to be his longest companion on Earth; wit that (let Delia use him as she please) He resolves to stemn all Tides, being assured as he can never be happy [Page 50]without it, so can he never be so miserable as to be divested of that support in the most unhappy condition.
XVI.
IF so mean an assistance as that of wishes could contribute to the Happiness of the meritorious Methridatia, there are enough sent her by the Humble Call. for a Newyears-gift, to make her Blest to such degrees, as her Thoughts cannot reach. Mental Services have always been the constant offerings of the greatest Lovers, and Heaven hath always placed them amongst the prime Oblations; but on Earth there is a material difference that attends, not our Sacrifices to those above, for there the Mind of them that pay, set a value upon what they pay; But here it is the inclination of them that receive that, stamps [Page 51]the Estimation, which being so, I dare not presume to lay a greater claim to the merit of what I offer, than what sweet Methridatia will permit, and that I fear depending upon the Humor this may find her in; I can but make very uncertain measures of what will be its sate; it comes charming Methri. to let you see, I will begin this as I ended the last year, and to beg you will give me leave to make this protestation, That nothing but death shall hinder me from performing these services, or any other I can pay you as successive as the years of my life; nothing comes incompassed with such advantage, surrounded with such Glory and Beauty as can divert my Thoughts, or looks one moment; no Meth know that I—
XVII.
YOu seem'd sweet Methridatia so inclinable to oblige me with the favour of your Note, as I could not but think you extremely unkind, to be so hardly perswaded to what I have often told you is so great a pleasure: But I begin to think you were in it more generous than at that time I apprehended; and that knowing how many things in the World discontent me, you declined giving me the occasion of increasing their number; if therefore my importunity drew upon me the misfortune, I confess my self properly chargeable, yet I cannot but say, there was a great deal of cruelty in the Fancy that dictated, and in the Hand that inflicted so severe a Sentence, as with so much Wit, and so little Kindness you shrouded under the seeming Obligation of Liberty: Oh Methridatia, Do you think it is ten thousand to one, but some new Object will come to deface the Impressions you have fixt in my mind, [Page 53]and that rather than fail, I shall be rifling my Memory to recall the Idea of something that may be agreeable enough to divert my Thoughts; Severity, Madam, could design, nor Infidelity deserve no more; if you really believe me this Man, or if I am so, I unworthily aggravate my Crimes by the presumption of coming near you, and ought to die; and if you think me not so, I am made too unhappy in your Expression; But too charming and too unkind Methridatia, was it not enough to render me odious to my self, but from the faults I will sooner expire than act, to lay a foundation for the liberty you are resolved to take; Ask, sweet—whether this be not too much, I dare swear, she will say it is probable my Misfortunes may, my Guilt will never oblige you with such a freedom; But if it may be allowable to answer for my self, let me say, if either a part or future prospect could have prevailed so far upon my imagination, as to have appeared under a possibility of redressing my misfortunes, I [Page 54]have not had more reason than time to put it in execution; Flattery or Change, Madam, never found way into my Soul, since that fatal time of renouncing my own Power, and submitting to Time, Mithridatia; I was never beholden to the hopes of Happiness for those resolutions my Reason obliged me with, in preferring you before the race of Woman-kind, nor was I ever frighted with the Image of my sufferings from one of those Vows, by which I have united those various emotions that too often hinder our considerations in what we undertake; without arrogating therefore to my self, I am as sure as our condition on this side Heaven will admit, that no exterior Object can dethrone my Sence, my Reason, and my Resolution to make room for any diversions, except such as result from the contemplation of M [...]thridatia's Merit; I am therefore, Madam, with or without your permission, under a fate impossible to be removed from, in point of Opinion, and as unalterable in Practice, If sweet Methridatia [Page 55]would think the Service and Respect of my Life were a fit offering to be accepted. I am resolv'd to find a way to take my leave to Morrow in the Evening, in hopes you will not be so willing to Manumiss one that courts h [...]s Chains, before the Liberty to you so easily give; and who in absence knows no other pleasure than to contemplate upon those Delights he had in seeing Methridatia last. Adieu Soul of my Soul, never to be diminished by time or misfortune in the thought of poor Callimiches.
XVIII.
IF you be convinced, your Happiness or Misfortune depends upon the Passion and Respect that is paid you by Call. pray conclude upon the first, if it be possible for him to confirm it, for I here call all that is powerful to attest this Protestation. that rather than make you miserable, I will not only quit my Delight, but my Life. Nor do I think the Compliment such as to make you scruple [Page 56]its belief; for if all the pleasure of my days consists in the Love I pay you, What reason have I to wish the length of that time, which doth but but give me a duration to my ruine and destruction, in making that which is as dear as my Soul, unhappy; I am now past all those doubts which attend new taken up Passions; I must love you, but that Love will make me wish my end, rather than your misfortune. Oh Methri. it is but your resolving to make us both happy, and we will be so; if poor Mortals are not deluded in their Belief, nothing creates it but Love and Fidelity: And I do here invoke Heaven to punish me with all the Afflictions the Aegyptians ever knew, when I cease loving my admired Methridatia, or break those Vows I have made to serve her, till I am no more; Yes, Methridatia may, and Sufferings be my Eternal Reward when I love you not, as now I tell you; we should be too happy could you love the faithful Calamiches halfe so well. Adieu.
XIX.
DId. Sweet Asteria know how fearful poor Orantes is of being troublesome, and yet how impossible it is for him to resist any opportunity, he would be forgiven for erring on this side; it would be an unspeakable torment to him to be injurious to her Repose; But he hath begg'd these may be always laid aside till some auspicious moment gives them admittance, they are truly, the only Entertainment he hath, which gives him any content or ease; they unlade a part of his Sorrows by sending them to represent the Sence he hath of being wounded in the tenderest part, but Heaven hath reserved the Knowledge of our Spirits to its self, for who can describe Pain, or paint Sorrow in its true sufferings, and yet there is something both so certain and unaccountable in our Souls as methinks I know and seel my dear Asteria's troubles, I am sure, I do enough to make it the greatest Grief and Affliction that [Page 59]ever reacht my Soul; Ah, when shall disconsolate Orantes hear Asteria mends and is chearful; 'tis an Age since those Joys arrived, but sure you are not so wanting either to Heaven or your self, as not to promote them to your Power; but I fear I am too long, Guards of Angels attend you, tender as my wishes, may my disasters never load you, nor my Prayers never fail you; may all I have vowed be my Damnation, if I leave you, and may you live to be convinced beyond a doubt, that Orantes prefers his Fidelity before his Life. Adieu.
XX.
I was not more loath to leave the sweet Authress of my Joy, the night before I came away; then I was troubled not to see her the Morning after, but I was so plagued with the disorders and noise of a company of Excize-men, who were going out or Town, that I was forced to get up; it was like midnight when I passed by the Door of my Dearest [Page 60] Delia. Besides, the Snow and the Winds were so excessive sharp, that I was near being cured of all manner of trouble by their having taken from me the sence of Pain; indeed I put my Face almost benumm'd into the weather, and can safely swear I never self such Cold before, nor have yet recovered one of my Hands, I had that day a Conviction, that our Soul's are most imployed when the Body's useless, for I only knew I lived because I thought; and how often did I think of the vast difference betwixt what I enjoyed over night, and what I then wanted; that mighty disproportion, dearest Madam, lookt most dismal, I had no charming Mithridatia's Eyes to warm me, no inchanting of Delia's Tongue to allay my Griess, no meritorious Asteria by me, and for an addition, that cruciating Thought, like Wild fire flew about me, for not having paid the Duty I both desired and ought to do; I had all the afflictions were wisht me by a power which can as easily inflict them, as she can confer Blessings; [Page 61]Ah Dear Dear, wish me no ill, for if you do, may this hour be my last, if I wish to prosper; you have my Life and my Happiness, and I may say without presumption, my Salvation depends upon you, it being absolutely in your Power to make me a better or a worse Man, as you please; Why may it not then be the first: Have we not often, my dear Delia, concluded something in our Natures, our Humors and Reason so alike, as if Heaven had design'd but one Soul betwixt us; and will you not take care of your own? Ah Delia, deny it not, and you shall have a Life spent in your service, the expiration of which shall only end it; but I must now leave this, and tell you I am again incouraged to go to London and there being some things which are the common intercourses of acquaintance, as such disdain, not to know you must command your faithful Pol. Ah Delia, (this is business) He hates to mention any thing in love, but what the nicest Thought of Delia may allow from the Humble and Passionate Pol. [Page 62]Who has not a Iess solid, tho' a differnt foundation, who has Indies, tho' not Golden ones to offer, Empires, tho' not so gross as Interest and Ambition lives upon. Ah Delia, Heaven and the Powers above (of which the Mind of Man is a Type,) confirm what I say to you for Truth, and shew you the vast difference betwixt the lasting power of Merit, and the short dominion of Design; but whether am I falling, let some prosperous Gale direct my Passion into Delia's Breast, sweet, safe and happy Harbor, let me there unload all that Love, Fidelity, Religion and Honour ever made binding, and let Delia take choice of all I have to offer; nay, she must refuse none, it being the gift of Heaven as well as mine; well, Adieu, all the Blessings of Heaven descend upon you, quiet Hours, soft Dreams, and steady Friends be your Portion, and let me beg you to believe none so much, so as your unfortunate Lover Polierchus.
XXI.
SInce all the ambition of my Life receiv'd its Original from, and hath its termination in finest Methridatia; How pardonable is it, I complain of the unjust diminution you make of that Merit which gave my Passion its Being, and is the happy assurance of its duration; it is of the highest concern possible to me, to oblige you to believe, that I think you what you are, but 'tis very strange you'll not own what you know you are; 'tis yet some satisfaction to see what Arguments you are forced to support your diffidence withal, either to resolve I must be ignorant of what I make appear I know, or to disown your own knowledge, rather than believe what I vow to be true, Charming Methridatia, be not any longer injurious to so many attractions as make all can be paid your due, nor to that Love which besides being its own destruction, would in its Falsity, be my Infamy and misfortune. But consider, [Page 64]had you not upon a long Contemplation been preferible to me before all the World, you had not been my choice, and had you not been that, my Passion had been impossible, now my Reason is its companion, and being determined by a Power which can confer what the nature of Reason and Love can desire; there can be no greater assurance of its continuance, than your Favour; give me that, dearest Madam, and believe me Just, and it shall not be in the power of Second Causes to violate in our Case, that Order which Nature in other things is so careful to preserve; my Happiness shall depend upon my Love, that upon my Vows, they upon my Reason, and all upon Methridatia's Merit; as the Spring, the only sweet Fountain from whence to derive upon passionate Call the pleasant moments of his Life; Call not this Folly, Madam, nor think it so easily alterable, at your own, or any other bodies pleasure; for had you an equal Obligation both from your Judgment and your Inclination to value Call. before [Page 65]any thing else; you would not know where to look for either Power or Will to resist the sweet violence of a particularity: But because this Case is not like to arrive from the inequality you will always find betwixt your self and others; yet must you not by this Rule judge them, especially poor Call. whose unhappy defects make his pretences to any right in your kindness impossible, but yet cannot stop the tide of that Ambition which riseth as far as Admiration and Respect will admit; I cannot give you a greater Instance of both, than when I tell you that nothing hath been more my wish and desire, than your being satisfied to allay the terror of Absence with this kind of Converse; but since you say 'tis troublesom, and I cannot be obliged but at the expence of being disagreeable, I will endeavour to moderate the heat of those impatiencies which yet I cannot so regulate, as not to wish for a Note to day; But pardon me, if I err in the moment, I pretend to repent; and indeed I fear your own Declaration looks [Page 66]too like a Civil notice, that mine are too frequent and too long, yet I cannot forbear saying, that if I have any Sence, you designed my making use of it, when you tell me, if your observation fail not, the heat will be over by that time you return. Oh Methridatia, it had all the Cruelty imaginable in it, to answer for one, and pardon me if I say all the disobligation and injustice possible to include the other; it carrying with it all that can conclude me miserable or infamous: No Madam, I have not built my Passion upon the hopes of Happiness, it had misfortune in prospect, but it lookt not grim enough to divert me more from loving you to come in that State, then it did long ago under a suffering Silence; you cannot therefore be free from my Respect; however, I may be divested of your Favour, which yet I will prosecute with a life so spent in your Service, as shall make you wish I had more Merit, to have been made more Happy. Adieu.
XXII.
IT is not my charming Delia without a mixture of all those apprehensions which make up the greatest Concern, that I ever now receive the Honour of a Letter, the Joy to see it, and the fear to find in it any thing ruinous to my Love, are always endeavouring to supplant one another, and truly I cannot but say I found enough couched under a serious and grave stile to set my Fears on work; for dear Delia, should it proceed from a diffidence of my Love (as sure thus many years has convinced you I can never change) I will waste away this wretched Life in despair; Yes Madam, if my Vows and Oaths, which Heaven only knows I have made, without those I have paid at your Feet, will not secure you to this Breast, and [Page 69]perswade you I will carry this Passion to my Grave, I am not sitting to live; Alas, to break with you would be barbarous, inhumane and base, I am not arrived at such Villanies yet, and when I do, let my end come, or what is worse, be every Man's wonder. Then give me leave to hope you believe this, and to send you a Vow taken from the bottom my Soul, sent with a Passion and Fidelity inferior to none I ever read of, that if you will keep me alive and give me leave to love you, it shall never violate the Rules you set to your own Goodness and my Duty, nor ever know decay till Pol. His great one, Ah dearest Delia, believe poor Po. that is ready to dye for Love and Grief, to read a melancholy Letter, let me implore you not to question my Faith; but to conclude me as unalterable as the decrees of Heaven; come Delia, the Sun will yet shine, and we shall yet live to appear our selves. Charge not your self for not searching the World, nor do not lay such Corrosives as too many of them will cause [Page 70]the death of the passionate Poli. Adieu Soul of my Soul.
XXIII.
I Was in such great hopes that the Saturdays Post would have brought some account of Delia's Health, as poor Po. hath wasted his whole Day with expectation and wishes, but the Post is come and no news; if it be designed as a continued piece of severity, Po. submits. But since he cannot but dread every accident which hinders his hearing when dear Delia is not well; it may easily be guessed how uneasie he is, all his Treasure is in one bottom, and how natural, at least how frequent is it, to make the apprehensions of a ruine, almost as great as the ruine it self; indeed Po. is extremely concerned as ever I saw him in my life; Alas, he is so far from omitting [Page 71]any opportunity of sending, as were the conveniencies every hour of the day I dare say, Delia would miss very few, for he spends them all in thinking of his Dearest; and his only Concern. Truly all the tenderness that the Soul of Man hath, is imployed, when we fear for that dear Friend; you must let me some way or other, know how you are, or torment me to death; order some body to write two words, for I would not have you venture your Eyes yet: But alas, what do I talk, you may be dead, you may be any thing, I have not heard these three Posts; Ah how wretchedly miserable has this made me, if satal this arrives, farewel to Joy with as much resolution, as I will welcome Death, which the Holy one knows I will do whenever I lose my Delia; I was in hopes the worst had been past, when I left you, and if so, Why do I not hear from you; remember what Grief and Sorrow plunged me into at the beginning of this great misfortune, you know I am but just recovered, and if you have a mind to [Page 72]defer my death, have a care of the most deserving of Women, for 'tis to her alone my Services and my Life are Dedicated; Fidelity is not more your due, than 'tis my nature, therefore whatever Calumnies from Malice or Ignorance I may lie under, you can answer for me for many years: I pray take it here for an undeniable Truth, bound with all the reiteravows and Resolutions my Soul can make, that only at the Feet of my charming Delia will I breath out my Love and my Obedience in my last breath; my Love shall end with my Life, and when that goes my Eyes shall close up the Image of my Adorable Delia; Let me hear, I beseech you, as soon as possible, for if ever uncertainty was pain, it is now a torment, an unspeakable one to me; Ah Delia, What did I not leave you well, and of such a Disease, how cruel is the mention of it? Why did not Fate permit Po. to bear the burthen; I repent the word, for I should esteem it one, tho' it were my destruction: Ah think how loth I am [Page 73]say Farewel to all that is my Joy, and all that is my Life. Adieu.
XXIV.
DId you know how valuable every little is that comes from the Head and Hand of finest Methridatia, there would have been more care taken, than to have let so great a part of that little, suffer Martyrdom before it came to Tryal: Nay, having made Call. Judge, I am sure the execution had been deferr'd till they had been companions in destruction; But remember you are accountable to me for the Ruine of what I esteem above the value of anything, but such an reparation as you can make, and having [Page 75]now so fair an opportunity of appealing to your generosity; think not I have so much as to lose it; nay, had I as much as generous Methridatia her self, I should dare intrench upon what she prizeth so much, or rob her of so great a share, as she hath now occasion for; Know then the thirsty Earth was never more covetous; nay, that I have in this case a Soul so great, as not to be contented with less, than what the Noblest Person living can give in compensation, for what was almost inestimable; expect me therefore to come and dun you. I should not be in a condition to have entertained any one so much at random upon this Subject, if I had not been last night blest with the happy news of a friend of mine being recovered of a Distemper I dreaded, a person so dear to me; by all that merit and obligation can inspire, as I must beg of you to congratulate with me; Oh! Comparisons are odious, yet I must say, that neither Methridatia nor Delia, (both whom I am sure you admire) put together, have more Charms, she [Page 76]hath as well the awful Grandure of the one, as the more gentle attractions of the other: She hath the smart Wit of one, as well as the sweet and conversible temper of the other; she wants not those Beauties that variety in Humor gives the one, nor those several Graces wherein the particularity of the other abounds; that misterious kind of negligent Charm in one, which makes all sorts of Persons and Tempers follow her, whilst it neither looks like pain or design in her: nor that irresistible Power in the other, which never yet fail'd her whenever she design'd it, either for Bliss or Punishment, have not in either kind made them more considerable; then this friend of mine who hath that easie unexpensive, yet bewitching Civility of the one, which makes every one doubt, whether their Happiness or her Kindness be possible; and that more peculiar advantage in her particular converse which in the other, makes the Friendship and Fidelity she would preserve inviolabe. Oh Madam, no attractive [Page 77]or admired quality in the Soul of either of these, exceeds what my friend enjoys; nay, there is so great a resemblance as would you give me incouragement, I should not despair of pleasing you upon this Subject; since the Picture I should give you of my own, would be almost the Character of your two Friends, who seem to be both born to be like mine; for she hath the fine Hair and Eyes of one, the sweet moild Shape and Mien of the other, Motion and Cloaths are as much her Friends, as she is happy in defiance of both. Negligence or Design being ever thought best, as she is found in either; but I begin to fear you will think me as fond of the Parallel as of my Friend, and doubt whether I love yours or my own best, and if so, I am in some hope also, that you will begin to suspect your self, and truly I think not without reason, for if in sweet Asteria you can find all the Charms, that are in Methridatia and Delia, Why should you not be contented to contract what now you are [Page 78]forc'd to divide; but if not, I will propose this, That I will promise to gain you all the Friendship and Interest imaginable in mine, if you will endeavour to set me firm in the Opinion and esteem of your Friends; Oh did you, or would you know the pleasure of such a Converse; this little parcel of Friends, with almost any misfortunes else were more preserible, than what the World in great mistake, besides Calls great and pleasant; the thought of it makes my Cell a Paradise, its enjoyments admits no parallel; Adieu, I do not intend to take your forgiving this for any part of the recompence I expect, for the using Wit, and may be kindness, as the Romans did the Bodies of diseased Friends; theirs was Honourable Interrment, yours was Murther. Adieu.
XXV.
IT is no wonder if all that ever represented it self, obligatory to the Mind of Man, appears with advantage [Page 79]when it comes under the consideration of my Love, for this great Merit and great Passion may have been your Observation; yet it is so seldom that these are supported by foundations, great as any of themselves, that poor Po. may not only Bless his own Fate, but surely convince dearest Delia, that if a sence of having been tyed by Honour, the highest Obligations Interest and Friendship can Eternize the Thoughts of a Gentleman; He may then say, change, misfortune, or ambition can no more dethrone the Sweet, the Charming Image of my Adored Delia from the Soul of Po: then the Giants, (those Monsters of Earth,) could Jupiter from Heaven; no, Delia is there; neither can the Objects of most prosperous or adverse condition make her less absolute. To this I sign the purest part of that Fidelity Heaven endued me with, to you, oh dearest Delia, I send as many and more Sighs than here are Letters; a croud of Thoughts and Wishes inspire my passionate Soul; Yet I must keep within bounds: [Page 80]So adieu, Million of Blessings surround you.
XXVI.
ALas Dear Asteria, to say Orantes loves, is but to say he lives, and to own its due to Asteria, and the Obligations she hath conferred, is but to say I have not lost my reason, and that I am not the basest of Men; truly I boast not, but I rejoyce that Gratitude and Fidelity are as inseparable from my Life, as Life from my Soul; Where is the place, What doth Orantes do, that makes your diffidence his misfortune? Ah Asteria, examine all your unkindness can suggest? Think how it is possible for him to be unjust, whose Fidelity by being his recompence is to be his happiness; besides, is not Asteria my deliberately chosen Object, have I not in a croud, as well as in private, sworn, no Man's choice was so well fitted to his Mind? Ah Madam, I must lose the name of Man, and turn to that of Beast, whenever any temptation or bait fetch tha Passion [Page 81]from my Soul, or one spark of it from my Breast, which I have sworn to you: No, Asteria, my preferring you before all the World, has only made me wish to have my Life prolonged; those only being the darling Moments of my time, that are spent in Asteria's Favour, and Service; then conclude, no exchange, no barter for such Joys, whenever I do, may I break, grow wretched, and dye unpittied. Adieu.
XXVII.
THE Blessings of a Favour from my delightful Asteria, is so perfect a reward for all my sufferings, as I lose all my resentments and forget being unhappy whenever she presents to my view, the dear Paper filled with Kindness and Wit. But why should I say this, methinks it is like thanking you for missing the first Post, or complimenting the priviledge you have to put poor Orantes upon the rack, that you may give him [Page 82]the pleasure of a Cure; Ah charming Asteria you know your Power, and 'tis no matter what I confess, I, am sure you know that all my Streams of Bliss being derived from one sourse, I subsist no longer than the benign [...]ountain gives her self; and how great, how pleasant an one is it to find sweet Asteria, arguing me into into my own Happiness, that my safety should be the effect of her Care and my Joy, the product of her Love: well, sure it is not what I am, but what I think she would have me, that makes me happy; for I never can give any account of my self, but as I am sensible of the soft impressions of her kindness, or the ruffer impulses of her Favour; I must therefore now with all the force of Love and Gratitude, own the delight you gave me, at those two irresistible Charms of Wit and Kindness, and descending from a person sufficient to inspire Love without them both, are enough to justifie the truth of my professing to devote to sweet obliging Asteria my Love, my Life, my All; they are [Page 83]yours Madam, by the undoubted Right of a thousand Merits, and a deathless Passion, secured by all those Holy invocations, that our Reason commands us to hold binding; Ah Asteria, your dear Image is no more to be divided from my Soul, then my Soul from my Body; my Love and my Life shall know but one end; I am big with expectation of hearing this day from whence the only good news of my Life can come. I sit telling the hours as I have a thousand times done the miles. When I have wished the heavy Horse could flye; truly dear Asteria, every thing that comes from you has such a reception from me, as the thirsty Sands gives to the joyful Showers, such is the esteem Orantes makes of every thing that looks but kind from Asteria, but its no sit comparison, yet surely Asteria that knows he loves beyond all things on Earth; knows he will at any time make himself the price of Asteria's kindness; let that be a valuable price, which is all I have to offer, and the rather Heaven knows [Page 84]that shall never want to be offer'd well, poor Orantes loves and suffers, and could dye before any misfortune should divest him of that Respect which will live in his Soul, whilst Breath is in his Body; 'tis as natural to submit to Asteria, as 'tis to live, and to live and love is all one; Ah Madam, How long could I entertain you, and how little reason is there to suspect that I have any other pleasure. Adieu, Adieu, Blessings surround you.
XXVIII.
HOw doth Delia melt her Oil into my Wounds, and then for fear they should heal too fast, applies her Corrosives, prepares Po. for the hardest of Fates, with so sweet a Lenitive as opiates all his Grief: But alas, when I go but two Lines farther, she says her Inclinations are far beyond Sea, Why, what hath Po. done to deserve this great misfortune; Hath he not always clothed his Love in that true genuine Passion [Page 85]of his Soul? Has he not offered his Blood to expiate any misfortunes of hers, and would he not at this hour drain every Vein to convince her, Man never lov'd so madly as he does: Yes Delia, its true, I want neither Resolution nor Courage, if your Quiet can be bought at no cheaper rate: then why, if it be a Dispute, should not Pol. carry it, and keep two such Loves, as separation in this kind would absolutely bring destruction to, within the four Seas; Ah Delia, Where can you be within that compass, that you and he may not meet often and advise? for if he live, he will make your ease the care and scope of all his time. Yes Delia, he has vowed it when the most ambitious and covetous has been at rest, and he now swears not to perform it, if Honour and Truth has not forsaken the Soul of Man. Ah Delia, I have a thousand unexpressible troubles upon me, for fear you should be perswaded to that which will undeniably prove my death. 'Tis not Affectation nor Untruth, my admired [Page 86] Delia, as I am a Christian, that it stops my Pen and Sight, accept the Tribute I may with your assistance wipe these from my Eyes, but never can that Sorrow which any affliction of yours will make inseparable from my Soul; could I be supposed to live without Delia, my Life would be either a miserable Knowledg, or a dull ignorance worse than death; Is not this Argument then a fit concerns my Being, and indeed both our Interests of weight enough to carry the Ballance; but as our Love lies so hard at stake, there is nothing ought to come in competition; Sure Delia did this to try her faithful Swain, one who will out-do Cassandra, and will not be unfortunate as long as she is Just: Come we have liv'd on the cold side of the Mountain a long time, Blasts and sharp Air have blown upon us, if we be near enough to help one another, we may climb over, go round about, or like Hannibal make our way thro' with Vinegar; we may get on the Sunny side, and though our Tubs be [Page 87]no bigger than Diogenes's, we may have nothing to desire of Alexander, but that he would stand between us and the Sun. Well dear Delia think of this, it will be ill driving us to despair, when we may not be past hope: Adieu; I have not a worse Enemy to my Quiet than my Fears, as Delia will manage them; She may ease the torment of her ever faithful Lover Polierchus.
XXIX.
SUre nothing suits the genius of this Age, worse than Orantes, for that like a rowling Sea sends Billow after Billow, and every Blast changes the face of the great Ocean; He, like the weather-beaten Shrub upon the Beach, flourishes never the more for a Calm, nor withers in a Storm: Dear Asteria is the Rock his Love grows upon, there's Merit enough for the Roots to fix in; he is now at leisure to consider the foundation all alone, free to [Page 88]Thought, the Reins are now loose, Asteria is the sole Object, he sees her with his Eyes shut, hears her at a hundred miles distance, and talks to her at the same; Rapture and Dream are not very unlike, yet this hath the better on it, for I can think it over and over again, and am not at the mercy of a starter or a noise to loose the dear Delight: Charming Asteria, Orantes is awake, not only thinks, but knows and resolves, and from his strictest reasoning can averr he loves, and she deserves all, and more than he can ever pay; yet with pleasure he is endeavouring all the dispatch possible to his design of seeing and serving her; it is his whole business. Sir William Temple makes an ingenious descant upon comparing the steady temper of the Dutch with the more acute Wit of other Nations; he says one cuts like a Razor, but blunted by hard opposition; the other like a Hatchet, and makes the deeper impression: they are, as he says, more dilatory, [Page 89]but more sure both in their Councils and Dispatch, because they are always intending what they are about; apply it dear Asteria, and doubt not the effect, 'tis not the trifling Project of some one advantage that animates the Spirit of Orantes, 'tis no less than all the whole Cargo is at stake, and then ask what every one doth for that, the Miser and the Generous are then alike. Adieu, Gratitude and Honour would flourish upon any opportunity of serving you, and would quit all pretences for this gratificacation of perfecting what I have so often promised, what I have been so long about, and what I hope to effect; Dear Asteria farewel; when you can with ease to your own Concerns, think of one whose enjoyments can never amount to a cessation of misfortune, till he hath the Blessing to see you again; Forgive this trouble, and if I may beg it, to love Orantes once more. Adieu.
THE Relation of Delia's Concerns, have like the suddain Fires you mention, startled me, and made me look round for Refuge; But alas, 'tis no news to poor Pol. His Reason to hear she hath a thousand Offers, and what she says, is inforced with as many Considerations of Prudence; the tenderest Concerns lie at stake, and nothing to stand in the way but unfortunate Pol. How can I think, that that, which every thing crushes can oppose so mighty a force, Ah Delia, my Pen is ready to drop out of my hand, by all that's Sacred, cold and heavy Grief has seized my Heart, and my Eyes will no longer perform their Duty; Forgive the little stop I make, Dear Delia, and I will on again; Is your Prosperity, Happiness and Honour dearer to me than my Lives Blood? and yet must I be the only Man to oppose it, Ah Delia! to what necessity am I brought, that I must quit both my Love and my Life; 'tis true, when ever I part with one, the other will undoubtedly follow, [Page 91]But may I not hope my Adorable Dear Delia will look once back, and think, whether two Souls, the nearest being one that ever were made, can now be parted: Consider it Delia, let your Pity be moved to your Slave; and I do here again upon my bended Knees implore your Compassion; Deny it not for Heavens sake, unless you will abandon me to all that Cruelty which would make the most barbarous Relent. Adieu, my Life depends upon the next, remember I have no Solicitor, none to Appeal to for help, but Delia her self: Well, I have only to say, that unalterable as Fate, is the Passion and Friendship of poor Polierchus; or may the Eternal Powers for ever hate him. Adieu.