The Countrey Cozen, Or: The Crafty City Dame.
Who invited a Gentleman to her House in Womans apparel, whereby her Husband was deceived, he taking him for a she countrey cozen, and how he found out, and punished the Deceipt.
Tune of, Good Morrow Valentine.
THere dwells a brave young wife in
London City,
She is both eloquent, pregnant, and witty,
She hath a curious hand to write a Letter,
She loves her husband well, but others better.
and though she be ensnar'd with at least a dozen,
the man whom she loves best she calls her cozen.
The good man had a trick which his wife hated,
For often times he would be jealous pated,
For which the good wife vow'd to be revenged,
Though out of her own house she never ranged:
but mark what happen'd 'twixt her and her cozen,
I think 'twas the pretiest trick done of a dozen.
A secret Letter by wit she invented,
And by a trusty messenger sent it,
To be delivered unto her husband Sir,
Who in the countrey liv'd, pray mark the end Sir,
This Letter it was sent unto her cozen,
who was the man she lov'd best of a dozen.
Kind cozen then, quoth she, I am grown sickly,
I pray make hast to me, come ease me quickly:
You are the man I know must give me Physick,
To rid me of my cold and cure my Ptisick.
But I would have you to consider sweet cozen,
That my husband jealous is most of a dozen.
BVt for to blind his eyes, I do desire,
That you would lay aside your mans attire;
And quickly-dress your self like a young woman,
But of your coming let it be known to no man:
Then welcome to me you'r most of a dozen,
Thus ends my Letter, think on it sweet cozen.
When he this Letter had seen and perused,
Her courteous proffer he never refused,
To act a womans part he did his endeavour,
And bought a brave new Gown, and a rich Beaver,
New Apron, Hose, and Shooes he soon had chosen,
Which was the counsel he had from his cozen.
When as the Barber had trim'd him compleatly,
He shew'd himself like a woman dress'd neatly,
And towards
London went as fast as may be,
Where many took him for some countrey Lady,
And coming to the house of his sweet cozen,
She gave him kisses thirteen to the dozen.
The good wife being most skilful and cunning,
Vnto her husband with speed she was running,
And having plotted against him all treason,
She told him a lye sir, and shew'd him a reason:
Husband quoth she this is my countrey cozen,
I pray make much of her, she's best of a dozen.
Then the good man began with words very finely,
You'r welcome to my house quoth he very kindly,
And after complements he courteously kist her,
More welcome to my house than my own Sister:
You are the welcom'st guest of a whole dozen,
And't please you stay all night welcom sweet cozen.
Then good cheer was sent for and supper provided,
But mark how after this matter was guided,
They having feasted, their chops very merry,
The one to the other said, now I am weary;
I have come miles this day at least a dozen,
Then let me go to bed my loving cozen.
Then said the good wife I will not deny you,
The Bed is ready, and I will lye by you,
Pray husband give us leave to lie together,
Only to talk a while one with another.
Then quoth the good man for 2 nights in a dozen,
I will allow you to lie with your cozen.
When as this horned man had thus consented,
These lovers went to bed safely contented,
but judge what sport they had to hinder
mourning,[?]
They lay in bed till Sun rising next morning,
And a Sack posset against they were risen,
The good man ready had for's wife and cozen.
This Posset being eaten, and breakfast ended,
These Lovers for delight further intended,
And to the tavern went with good discretion,
And drank seven quarts of wine for recreation.
And coming home again in the night season,
The good wife lay again with her sweet cozen.
But then the good man thought there was some treason,
Plotted against his head in two nights season,
He dream'd like
Acteon he was transformed,
And like unto a Buck his pate was horned,
With a great noise of Hounds after him running,
So that to hide his head he wanted cunning.
When out of this drousie dream he was awaken,
He vow'd he would be no further mistaken,
But quickly out of bed without much dodging,
And coming to the bed in his wifes lodging,
He took her napping in'th arms of her cozen,
Which was the prettiest trick done of a dozen.
When he had searcht him & found him a man sir,
Having in one hand a good holly wand sir,
He soundly beswing'd him back, side, and bone sir,
And threatned the next time he'd cut off his
stones sir,[?]
Then naked out of doors he turn'd his cozen,
This was the prettiest trick done of a dozen.
Printed for P. Brooksby, at the golden ball in West-smithfield, near the Hospital-gate.