A Duke and no Duke. As it is Acted by Their Majesties Servants. To which is now added, A PREFACE concerning Farce: With an Account of the Personae and Larvae, &c. Of the Ancient THEATRE. By N. TATE, SERVANT to Their MAJESTIES.
LONDON: Printed for Henry Bonwicke, at the Red-Lion in St. Paul's Church-Yard, 1693.
THE PREFACE.
BOTH Italy and France have swarm'd with Critiques upon the Business of the Stage, and trac'd it's History up to Thespis's Cart. The Mimica Satyra Tragoedia Comoediá have been thoroughly canvass'd. A Man might almost conjure with their Planipedes, Attalanae, Praetextatae, Tabernariae, &c. Distinctions, Divisions and Subdivisions, but amongst them All not one word of a Farce. None have taken into Consideration, or condescended to tell us, whether the Trappolin, Scapin, Harlequin or Scaramouch be Originals; or if France be a Species of Stage-Poetry unknown to the Ancients. This Subject therefore being yet untouch'd, and the Bookseller having occasion to re-print this short Play, I thought it worth the business of a Preface to speak my Sentiments of the matter, though but to provoke some Learned Person to clear the Doubt, and set the Question in a true Light.
In order to this Enquiry, 'twill be proper first to speak something of those Stage-Properties or Implements called Personae and Larvae, used by Players of former Times; for Harlequill was not the first that acted in a Vizard.
Athanaeus in his Twelfth Book mentions one Aristophanes of Byzantium, with several others, who had written particularly on this Subject. Amongst Latin Writers Anlon. Codr. Vre. is said to have published an Elegant Epistle concerning this matter. Caelius Calcagn. in his Book Entituled, [Page] Personati, speaks pretty home to the Point; and above all, the Learned Bullinger, lib. 1. de Theatro.
But I meet with enough for my purpose in the Syntagm. of Marischott, who, for the benefit of most Readers, contents himself with citing the Latin Version of Lucian De Personis & Larvis., and others, which I have so transcribed on occasion as I there found them. Neither can my Abstract of his Book seem needless, because the Treatise it self having been only Printed in Italy, is scarce to be met with in England.
'Tis agreed that the Word Persona in a restrained Sence signifies only the Vizard or Counterfeit Face worn by the Actor: But in larger and more frequent Acceptation, the whole Habit or Dress of Him that enter'd the Scene; which (under the Reign of Old Comedy) was contrived exactly like the usual wearing Garb of some Person whom they had a mind to represent upon the Stage. An Instance hereof against no less a Person than Socrates we find described at large by Aelian. The Substance of the Story is this: That Aristophanes in his [...] represented both the Figure, Gesture and Habit of Socrates, with which Spectacle the Athenians were at first surprized. However, the common sort presently expressed their Applause. Socrates himself being then amongst the Audience, not by chance but design, and seated where he might be most exposed to view, encountring with his grave, steddy and unconcerned Countenance at once the Mimickry of the Actor, and Rallery of the Poet.
But whether the Stage-dresses and Masks were made in Imitation of some particular Person, or contrived by Humour and Fancy, as might be most agreeable to the Fable, (in which they always observed a Decorum.) 'Tis evident, says my Author, that they never enter'd the Scene nisi Personis induti.
But who was the first Inventor of them is a matter of no small Dispute. They appear to be as ancient as the Practice [Page] of Plays and Drolls themselves, which were of as old a date as the Worship of Bacchus, or perhaps any other Gods. That this manner of Celebrating the Rites of Bacchus was in use not only among the Thracians and Greeks, but also very frequent and ancient among the Latins. We have evident Proof from Virgil's Georgicks, Lib. 11. with a most Elegant Description of the Personae in these Words:
Ovid hints almost as much in the Minores Quinquatrus celebrated in Honour of Minerva.
Suidas affirms Chaerilus the Athenian to have been the first that erected a Stage, and used the Larva; yet elsewhere (according to Diomedes and other Greek Writers) he makes Thespis Inventor of the Persona, who at first discoloured his Face with Vermilion, before he came to use the Juyce of Purslane; or, according to Horace, the Lees of Wine.
[Page] This Practice, and Cartshow's of Thespis were performed about the 56th Olympiad. Others give the Honour of this Invention to Aeschylus, and presume that they have likewise Horace's Word for their Opinion.
But Horace is still consistent, if rightly understood; for he does not affirm Aeschylus to be the absolute Inventor of the Persona, but of the Persona Honesta, of more graceful Masks and Habits than were contrived by others; for which Reason we may suppose, as Philostratus relates, this Aeschylus was called the Father of Tragedy. After Aeschylus Stage-Habits for Women were also invented by Phrynicus.
Amongst the Romans till Livius Andronicus his Time, the Galeri and not Personae were used upon the Stage; and Suidas will have Roscius Gallus to be the first that brought the Personae into custom with the Romans; But Donatus tells us, that Minutius and Prothonius were the first Players that Acted Tragedy, Personati: Which Fashion afterwards obtained that Degree, that Nero Caesar himself is recorded by Suetonius to have appeared in such Dresses upon the open Stage. Tragoedias cantaverit Personatus; Herôum Deorumque item heroidum & Dearum, Personis effictis. That pompous and splendid Dresses were proper for Tragedy, both Pollux and Donatus affirm.
Next to Tragedy came Satyr, which was but a Species of the former, as appears by the Cyclops of Euripides. This sort of Dramma (though less practised as the World grew more civilized) had also it's peculiar Personae or [...], made of Goats Skins and Hides, and other Beasts, which are described by Dyonisius, Pollux and Causabon.
[Page] The personal Habits used in the Licentious Comdiaaevetus were contrived (as we instanced) to represent particular Persons, Poet. Lib. c. 4. 14. Lib. xi. c. 12. l. 4. c. ix. Morum Charact. Ch. 6. which therefore could he no constant or fix'd Garb; For Suidus says expresly, [...], &c.— That is, Moris fuit ut Comici Personas Histrionibus darent eorum similes quos imitarentur. Horace alludes to the same Custom, Sat. 4. L. 1.— Quivis Stomacheter eodem quo personatus Pater. Their resembling Dresses (says the Scholiast upon Aristoph.) were so aptly contrived, that the Spectators knew what Person the Actor mimick'd at his first appearance, before he spoke a Word. While Athens was a popular State, the Rabble were so much delighted with these Representations of particular Men, that Isocrates complains they would run to those Entertainments from their Orators, while they were haranguing upon Matters of greatest Importance to the Publick. 'Tis true, this Practice of exposing Men upon the Stage, was at its beginning more justifiable, while confin'd to those Limits mentioned by Horace,
Nay, it did not a little conduce to the reforming of the State, in deterring Men from Wickedness; upon which Dionys. Halycarn. did not stick to Dionys. [...]. affirm of Eupolis Cratinus and Aristophanes, that they perform'd the Office of Philosophers and States-men as well as of Poets. But when from representation of evil Men, the Practice declin'd to the Traducing of the Good and Vertuous, and even to the Dishonour of Religion, and ridiculing their very Gods, 'twas [Page] high time for the Government to take Cognizance of the Matter, and enact Laws to restrain their License.
And a little after,
Upon this Regulation succeed the Media and Nova Comedia, in which the Personae ludicrae & ad risum accommodatae were invented and made famillar to the Stage. One contriv'd a peculiar Habit, when the part of a Paedagogue was to be plaid, another of a Parisite, others of Bawds, Cooks, &c. All which are recited by In prolegom. ad Terent. Donatus, and more largely by Lib. 4. c. 19. Pollux. That Comedians acted Personati in Terence his time appears by an ancient Copy of that Author preserved in the Vatican, where Figures are drawn of the Actors in the Play, as they were Larvati and Personati.
'Tis impossible for us to conceive the Art and Curiosity in the Contrivance and Making of these Shapes, in which these Players acted, or how much the Player himself was sometimes enamour'd on his Persona, or Stage-dress, attributing his Success and Theatrical Applause to the Semblance in which he acted. As to this Particular, Pliny has given us an Instance of memorable Event in his Natural History, [Page] Lib. 8. cap. 43. speaking of M. Opilius Hilarius. He tells us, That this Actor having wonderfully pleas'd the People in performance of a certain Part; He invited his Friends to a Treat upon his Birth-day, and this Shape in which he succeeded so well being brought into his sight, he pull'd off his banqueting Wreath from his Head to put it upon the Figure, which he survey'd with such Pleasure, that he lost his Sense, grew stiff and cold, and unperceived by the Company, expir'd with Transport.
Hitherto we have discoursed of the Persona in the larger Acceptation, as it signified amongst them, the intire Stage-Habit. But must acknowledge that it was sometimes taken in a more restrain'd Sense, and used by Actors for only the Larva or Vizard, as the Larva again is sometimes mentioned to express the Persona intire.
Martial uses the Word for a Border or Perriwigg, Epigr. 43. Lib. 3.
But Seneca expresly for a Mask or Vizard, Quid tantopere te supinat? Quid Vultum habitum (que) oris praevertit ut malis habere Personam quam faciem.
The Advantages of using these Persona or Disguises on the Stage were, in Comedy, that they might first have Resemblance to the Person imitated, and afterwards adapted for Humour, and to excite Mirth; besides the Consulting the Decency of the Actors, who were in those Days generally [Page] too modest to Act barefac'd, Yet Nero that Monster having compell'd Noblemen to act Parts in a Play, he Commanded them to pull off their Vizards on the Stage, Histrionum apparatu eos patefaciens Hominibus apud quos ipsi paulò ante Magistratum gesserant. and in usual Habits. In Tragedy the Dress assisted to the Pomp and Show. The Tragedian's Vizard making the Voice to come forth more sonorous, being made with a larger Lucian de Salt describing the Mimick-Mask, says it was Larva pulcherrima, Quae non immane hint ut Tragica. Mouth that seem Hiare as the Actor spoke, which I could almost suppose Persius to hint at in that Verse, ‘Fabula seu maesto ponatur hianda Tragedo.’ The Convenience of these Disguises on other occasions, as in Interludes at Sacred Rites (as they call'd them) is manifest from Servius on our fore-cited place of Vpon the—Baccho caper omnibus aris, &c. Georg. l. 2. Virgil, Quia necesse erat pro ratione Sacrorum aliqua ludicra & turpia fieri quibus populo possit risus Moveri, qui ea exercebant, propter verecundiam remedium hoc adhibuerunt, ne agnoscerentur.
Yet were not Disguises Masks and Maskers, employ'd only in the Service of the Theatre and Temples, but promiscuously used by the Ancients on many other occasions, as in Triumphs, Feasts, Marriages, Funerals, &c. the History whereof would be furnish'd with many entertaining Circumstances; but I must remember that I am confin'd to the scanty Limits of a Preface.
[Page] The good Uses that have been made of Vizards and Counterfeit-Habits, without the compass of the Theatre would make no small Collection, but the Abuses of them much greater. This would afford more Horror than Diversion. The yearly Harvest of Wickedness, and evil Consequences occasion'd by the Carnival at Venice, give too sufficient Proofs of the Mischief. Larvati took their Appellation from Larva, a Vizard; and Larva from the Lares, whom the Ancients supposed to possess Men's Minds with Madness. This was ascribed as peculiar to those Powers. Can there be greater Demonstration of Distraction and Frenzy of all sorts, than in the Impious Practices and Debaucheries at the fore-mentioned Festival? Can all their Mortifications of the ensuing Lent make any tolerable Amends for the Lewdness then committed? Has the Devil at any time such a Jubilee, where Vice like an Infernal Cebele sees all her black Offspring assembled together? What are the effects of this Masquerade, but Whoredoms, Adulteries, Incests, Brawls, Murders, and a general Corruption of Manners. Pollydor. recites it to the Honour of our English Ancestors, that they had Law in force against Masqueradings, Capitale fuisse si quis personam induisset. De Rev. Invent. l. 5. c. 2. Ludovicus vives, lib. de Christianâ Faeminâ, thinks he did the Masquerading Ladies no wrong, in affirming, that detrimentum quod sub Personâ earum accepit verecundia citra personam se proferat & ostendat. That they proved after wearing those Disguises just as modest out of their Masques as they were in them. And honest Iuvenal civilly puts the Question, ‘Quem praestare potest mulier Larvata pudorem?’
[Page] But restoring these Guises to their proper Owners, the Stage-Players, let us proceed from the Consideration of th Larva to our first Enquiry about Farce, and whether or no the Ancients had any such Species of Stage-Poetry.
In the first place I would ask the Readers Opinion, if he can suppose any more genuine and natural use of those Larvae or Vizards which we have described, than for Farce-Players, especially if we take in those other Implements mentioned by Lucian, de Salt. thus rendred by Marisch. Mitto adscitia pectora & ventres fictitios, adjunctam & arte compositam corporis crassitudinem. One would almost conclude from this Description of their Stage-Properties, that they could be contrived for nothing but Farce.
I have not yet seen any Definition of Farce, and dare not be the first that ventures to define it. I know not by what Fate it happens (in common Notion) to be the most contemptible sort of the Drama. 'Tis thought to bring least Reputation to an Author. But if the difficulty of the Task were to decide the Case, we should soon alter our Opinion. I would desire him who thinks it an easie thing, to make Tryal of it with all the speed he can, it being such a Work
The reason of the Difficulty I presume to be this, (and the Undertakers will find it true) That Comedy properly so called, is an Imitation of Humane Life, ( quicquid agunt homines) and subsists upon Nature; so that whosoever has a Genius to coppy her, and will take the Pains, is assured of Success, and all the World affords [Page] him Subject. Whereas the business of Farce extends beyond Nature and Probability. But then there are so few Improbabilities that will appear pleasant in the Representation, that it will strain the best Invention to find them out, and require the nicest Judgment to manage them when they are conceived. Extravagant and monstrous Fancies are but sick Dreams, that rather torment than divert the Mind; but when Extravagancy and Improbability happen to please at all, they do it to purpose, because they strike our Thought with greatest Surprise. But to our Question.
I cannot averr, that the Ancients had Entertainments on the Stage entirely resembling the Harlequin and Scaramouch, but 'tis highly probable that the Satyrical Diversions and Interludes invented to As the French now make use of their Farces. relieve the Heaviness of Tragedy were of this Nature▪ For that they were introduced for Mirth and Rallery, and thereby to help off the serious Action, is expresly told us.
For as Madam le Fevre In her admirable Preface to her Version of Amphitrio. says, the Stage-Satyr; or Satyrizing Scenes must by no means be confounded with Satyrique Poems written by Lucilius, Horace, or Greek Satyrist. The business of the Satyr-Actors was not to lash out into long Invectives, only now and then a Elurt of such harmless Sarcasm as used to be sometimes thrown out by Harlequin or Scaramouch, because as Horace adds,
Which shews they were to keep within Bounds; and what he subjoyns ‘—Ita vertere seria ludo.’ Seems to emply Drollery, Banter, Buffoonry, Vagaries, Whimsies, which are so many Ingredients of Modern Farce. Nay, I have some where read (though I cannot at present recollect my Author) that their Comick Actors used to deliver what they had to say in various and feigned Tones, which was Harlequin's manner.
Nor will this appear unlikely, if we consider particularly the Gesticulations, Tricks, Feats of Activity and wonderful Performances of another sort of Actors whom they called Mimi and Pantomimi, from their admirable knack at Mimickry; which was not the least of Harlequin's and Scaramouch's Talents. 'Tis unconceivable how expert these Persons were in humorous Actions, as will appear by a few Testimonies very well worth our mentioning.
Their Performance was so extraordinary, that as Strabo informs us, Lib. 14. their Art was called [...]. their Legerdemain Shifts, Slights and Postures, Magical Arts, Praestigia: And further asserts, Eos quam saepissime argumento è Comoediis desumpto varias personas representasse, nunc foeminae, nunc lenonis, nunc Adulteri, nunc temulenti. To which we may add that old Epigram,
[Page] There was no Fable accommodated to the Stage, which these Mute-Actors could not represent by Gestures and Movements of their Body. For as Lucian says, Personis in Scenam introductis, gestibus per omnia responderent, neque ea quae dicuntur ab introductit optimatibus, aut agricolis, aut mendicis discrepabant sed in unoquo (que) illorum proprietas & excellentia demonstrabantur. In dumb Action and Gestures they could express, and as it were, speak what they pleased. Wherefore Vid. Scalig. Poet. l. 1. Tigranes amongst all the Rarities the World's Imperial City afforded, begged one of these Pantomimes to serve him as it were for an Interpreter to all Nations.
Pantomimus (says Cassiod. Var. 4. Epist. ult.) a multifaria imitatione nomen est, idem corpus Herculem designat & venerem, f [...]minam presentat & marem; Regem facit & Militem; Senam reddit & Iuvenem ut in uno videas esse multos. And Lucian seeing a Pantomime prepare to personate five Representations, cries, That the Mimick seem'd to him to have five Souls, who could exhibit so many Personages with one Body. What was all this but Farce to the Degree of Harlequin with his Cloak, whisk'd about, and acting a Windmil.
All this, you'll say, was only Farce of Action, Farce in the Player, nothing on the Poets Part, no Proof that the Ancients had any written Farce.
I will not affirm they had any Stage-Play entirely of Harlequin and Scarramouch's Cast; but if Molier's Comedies come under the Denomination of Farce, (as every body allows) 'tis plain that both the Greeks and Romans had Farcical Plays. The Comedies of Aristophanes and Plautus are mostly of this Cut, call them Palliatae, Togatae, mixt Comedy, low Comedy, or what you will. Their Old Comedy, generally speaking, had the very Air of Farce. Aristophanes his Socrates Philosophing in a Basket, &c. is as much Farce as any thing in the Character [Page] of Mr. Shadwell's Virtuoso. The Frog and Swimming-Master, Tame Spider, Bottled Air, &c. are not more Humorous and Farcy. Aristophanes his Frogs were a very Rehearsal of those days; As our Fletcher's Knight of the Burning Pestle was a sort of Quixot on the Stage. Which teaches us, that Farce is not inconsistent with good Sence, because 'tis capable of Satyr, which is Sence with a Vengeance. The Amphytrio and Menae [...]h of Plautus through the whole Contrivance and Course of Accidents are all Farce. They were the Originals of Shakespear's Comedy of Errours, and the Italian Trappoline. I would not be a Heretick in Poetry, but Reason and Experience convince us, that the best Comedies of Ben. Iohnson are near a-kin to Farce; nay, the most entertaining parts of them are Farce it self. The Alchymist which cannot be read by any sensible Man without Astonishment, is Farce from the opening of the First Scene to the end of the Intr [...]igue. 'Tis Farce but such Farce as bequeaths that Blessing (pronounced by Horace) on him that shall attempt the like.
The whole business is carry'd on with Shuffles, Sh [...]m and Banter, to the greatest degree of Pleasantness in the World. For Farce (in the Notion I have of it) may admit of most admirable Plot, as well as subsist sometimes without it. Nay, it has it's several Species or Distinctions as well as Comedy amongst the Romans Stataria mixta, &c. but still 'twas Comedy. So Comedy may admit of Humour, which is a great Province of Farce; but then it might be such Humour as comes within compass of Nature and Probability: For where it exceeds these Bounds it becomes Farce. Which Freedom I would allow [Page] a Poet, and thank him into the Bargain, provided he has the Judgment so to manage his Excursion, as to heighten my Mirth without too grosly shocking my Senses. I cannot call to mind one Humour in all Terence's Pl [...]ys, but what he might have taken by Observation, all lies within the Compass of Conversation; but therefore Caesar (amidst all his Beauties and Excellencies) says he, wants the Vis Comica, which made Plaurus so diverting. There is so much said for these two Authors by their respective Admirers, that a Man knows not where to give the Preference. All that I would presume to say, [...]s, That I esteem them both admirable in their way; that one chose to write pure Comedy in the strictest Notion, and the other liberty of extending Comedy sometimes into Farce; and each got his Point, Terence of being exact, and Plautus pleasant. Neat Terence, witty Plautus, says our greatest Ben. Ialmson 's Verses on Shakespear. Master of Comedy, who scorn'd not to Copy sometimes from the Ancients; yet for one Hint he has taken from Terence, he has borrowed three from Plautus. I will instance only that pleasant Passage in his Alchymist, where the Confederates banter and play upon Surly disguised like a Spanish Don, not supposing that he understood them. We find the same Humour in the Paenulus of Plautus, where the old Carthaginian speaks in the Punick Language; Milphio a Roman Servant plays the wagg, and drolls upon him, under pretence of interpreting for him; the Stranger suffers him to run himself out of breath with his Ribaldry, and then surprizes him with thundring out as good Latin as the best of them could speak. Vulpone's playing the Mountebank in the Fox is Farce; and Sir Politick's turning himself into a Tortoise. This Passage however is undiverting, which proves (as I said) the Nicety of Judgment required in managing Improbabilities. Had this [Page] been told to the Audience like other Projects which are only recited, it might have made a pleasant Relation.
Now if we enquire into the best of our Modern Comedies, we should find the most diverting parts of them to be Farce, or near a-kin to it. Remembrancer Iohn in the Cutter, Sir Martin turn'd East-India Gentleman, the Tryal Scene in the Spanish Fryar, where Gomes menac'd by the Colonel in dumb shew, runs Counter in his Evidence, says and unsays in a Breath, till he confounds himself and the Court. Such Pleasantry as this is I cannot think below it's great Author, who in the Serious Scenes of the same Play, has shewn us the Refinedness and Perfection of the English Style. Quintilian, speaking of Repartees, after these Words, Lib. vi. c. 3. de Risu. Longè venustiora omnia in respondendo quam in provocando; That more Wit's required to retort a Jest than to break one, adds this Expression, Accedit difficultati quod ejus rei nulla exercitatio est, nulli praeceptores. The same may be said of Farce; there are no Rules to be prescribed for that sort of Wit, no Patterns to Copy, 'tis altogether the Creature of Imagination. And our English Mec [...]nas (to whose Judgment the Muses willingly subscribe) has declared that he approves Genius and Invention beyond the best Performances of Imitation. Such is the Farce-Writers Task. Neither can I assume any thing to my self by the Preference I have given to Farce on account of the Trapoline, which I only new modell'd: I pretend but to have Improv'd what I would be proud to have Invented.
PROLOGUE
Written by a Friend of the Author's Upon the first Drinking of Islington Water.
- [Page] Lavinio, The Great Duke of Tuscany.
- Brunetto, alias Horatio, Prince of Savoy.
- Barberino
- Alberto.
- Lords, Councellors to Lavinio.
- Trappolin. A Parasite, Pimp, Fidler, and Buffoon, transform'd by Magick, and Usurper to Lavinio.
- Mago. A Conjurer.
- Captain of the Guards.
- Isabella. The Dutchess.
- Prudentia. Sister to Lavinio.
- Flametta. Trappolin's Sweet-heart.
- Women. Puritan. Embassadours.
- Servants and Attendants.
The SCENE FLORENCE.
[Page 1]A Duke and no Duke.
ACT I.
Pretty Rogue! how she fires my heart! now could I cry like any roasted Lobster.—What would old Lord Barberino give for one such kind word from her. But young and poor as she is, she is yet most constant and Virtuous.—Not that I care much for Virtue neither.—Alas my Dear, I have been much opprest with Business since I saw thee. My Honour was at stake for procuring Convenients for no less than five Ministers of State. It'as been dead trading of late, but 'tis a comfort to see times mend, now we are upon our Matrimony.
All in good time Love; it becomes me to see my Betters go before me, when I do mend I shall certainly do it to purpose, [Page 2] I am so long about it.—In the mean time I give thee leave to be honest; and I think that's fair.—
Again my Dear— My good Lord Barberino, your Honours humble Servant.—For this free Promise, Love, I ne'er enough can thank Thee— Your Lordships to command —No Fortune shall divide or change our Wills.— Your Honours humble Slave—What's Wealth or Power where Hearts consent like ours?— Your Lordships Vassal— When thou dost sigh, thy Trappolin shall weep.— Your Honour always shall Command Me—And when thou sings't—
I beg your Lordships pardon. Your Lordship saw how I was employ'd. The poor wretch has taken a Fancy to me, and your Lordship knows I am a Person of liberal Education: That I bear not a Breast of Flint, nor was Nurs't with the Milk of Hircanian Bulls. Now if your Lordship has any thing to Command me, here I stand ready, I'l fido Trappolino, your Honours humble Servant in all things possible and impossible.
Fear not that Seignior Capitano, for I never mean to come into One.
I am glad to find your Honour has so much Interest in His Highness, and therefore make choice of your Honour as the most proper person to sollicit my Repeal.
Audacious Slave.
His Highness knows travelling is chargeable, and besides my Stomach is of no ordinary Dimensions.
Seignior Officer you may take his Lordships word when he says a Thing. You hear his Lordship hath private business with me, and desires your absence—For certain then his Highness is upon Treaty of Marriage with the Millanese; your Lordship and I, were always of opinion it would come to that.
My Lord, my Lord—Such a Primrose in a Corner for your Lordship, never blown upon my Lord,—
Force him along.
Flametta my Lord, what says your Lordship to Flametta? There's Eyes and Bubbies! Shall I bring her to your Lordship —Nay my Lord, my Lord.
SCENE. A Desart.
THis banisht life is very doleful—What an inhumane Duke was this to banish me, that never banisht him? At every step I take, my poor Flametta comes into my mind: She met me at the Towns end, and would fain have come along with me, but that I told her she was not banisht and might not.—Methinks this is a very melancholy place, I have not met a living Body yet, but they had wings or four legs. Let me bethink me where to betake my self, I would to Rome, and turn Friar, but that I have too much Learning. A Man of my Occupation might once have singer'd the Polux Ryals in Venice, but now the Gentry go a more compedious way to work, and Pimp for one another; 'tquite spoils all trading.
What sound is this? Sure this place must needs be haunted: This with a good Dinner were something, but as it is, it feels as if they were playing upon my small Guts.
So now, my airy Fidlers are fallen out amongst themselves; I [Page 8] lik'd their first strein somewhat better. I would his Highness would come and banish me from this place too.
What's here? a decrepit old man? Now and I were sure he was of mortal Race, I would set upon him in the name of Famine —But if he should blow Brimstone in my Face there were a hopeful beginner baulk't.
Son, Thou art Banish'd—I know all the matter.
'Tis true old Friend, I am banish'd—But how the Devil came you to know it?
Why, the Devil told me.
The Devil he did?—Why 'twas e'en his own doing, and so he could give you the best account of it.
Look you there again, he knows my name too—For certain, this must be the Devils kinsman—A Prince! poor Trappolin thanks you Father Conjurer, but has no mind to domineer in Hell: I know where your Territories lye.
Sure I have pimp'd for this old Fellow formerly, he's so kind—Well, as you say, Father Conjurer (on some private Considerations that I have) this may not do amiss: But how shall it be done?
By Eo, Meo, and Areo.
What they mean, I know not, but I am satisfi'd 'tis by going to the Devil for it, and so much for that matter.
Here, seat thee in this Chair.
To be shav'd Father Conjurer by one of your black Valets? I shall lather under their hands without a Ball.
Sit still, and see the wonders of my Art; Eo, Meo, and Areo, rise.
What will become of this temporal Body of mine?—I am glu'd to my Seat here.—But hear you good Father, must this Retinue of yours needs appear?
Of indispensible necessity.
Then good Father let them appear invisibly, I have no great inclination to their Company: For to tell you the truth, I like yours none of the best, you are like the Devil enough to serve my turn.
Oh Father what metal do you take me to be made of? I am not us'd to travel under ground? Oh for a Dram of the Bottle of a Quart or two! Call you this preferment? Marry he deserves it that goes to the Devil for't, but I see no preferment neither.
Thou dost not know thy self, look in that Mirrour.
Whose there, the Duke?—Your Highness is well return'd: Your faithful Servant Yrappolin begs of your Grace to call him home, and hang up this old Wizard; he'l Conjure [Page 10] your Grace out of your wits else, and your Subjects ou [...] of your Dominions.—What's he gone again? He's for his frisque under ground too. I have made way for him, I have work'd like any Mole, and made holes you may thrust Churches through.
The Dress is just like him, and for ought I know, it is Dress that makes a Duke.—Let me see, what must I say now? my Highness is your Highness's humble Servant.—This Conjurer is a rare Fellow.
Trust me for Duking of it: I long to be at it. I know not why every man should not be Duke in his turn—Father Conjurer, time is precious with us great Persons: However, I should be glad to see you at Court. It may be the better for you, for as I take it, we shall have some change of Ministers, and so Farewel.
SCENE. The Palace.
So please: your Grace, where is our Dutchess?
Your Dutchess will not come 'till the Gods know when; for my part I know nothing of the matter. I left my Train behind me and came unlookt for, to see how you Governed in my absence, which I fear you have done scurvily enough.
How wild he talks!
Eo, Meo, and Areo, well stuck to me I'faith—Well Lords, you never pity my Misfortunes; I have been robb'd in my journey, had my Horse taken from me, and if it had not been for Father Conjurer.
How Sir?
I say, if I had not been a Conjurer, I had ne're got home in my Royal skin;—Well stuck there again, Boys, well stuck.
What means your Highness?
Our Highness means to take exact account of Affairs; I left an honest Fellow here, call'd Trappolin. What's become of him?
Your Highness gave me charge to banish him.
Why there's the Pillar of our State gone. You took him for Buffoon, but I found him one of the best Politicians in Christendom; other Countries will value him, and for ought I know, he's a Prince by this time— Eo, Meo, and Areo true Lads still.
I am amaz'd!
Hear me, you Lord Barb. I love dispatch in Affairs, tell me therefore quickly what you take to be the duty of a Statesman?
Why there 'tis. I have travel'd, and can tell you what a Statesman should be. I will have him ten times prouder than his Master; I, and ten times richer too. To know none of his old Friends, when he is once in Office; to inform himself who has Merit, that he may know whom to do nothing for; to make Sollicitors wait seven years to no purpose, and to bounce thr'o a whole Regiment of 'em, like a Souldier through the Gantlet.
This is meer Frenzy.
And there is another good Friend of mine, Brunetto, where is he?
Dread Sir, You Highness knows that for his presumption in Courting of your Sister, you confin'd him.
Nothing but lying in this world! I confine him: 'Tis well known I never had a Sister in my life.
No Sister, Sir?
No, Iack Sawce, none that's worth imprisoning a Friend for; honest Brunetto I'le be with thee in the twinkling of a— Eo, Meo, and Areo, fit fast; pass.
SCENE. A Prison.
WHat a dismal Place is here? I'le have it carry'd bodily out of my Dukedom. Alass poor Brunetto, what has he done to be shut up here?—Oh here he comes!
He makes a very low leg, but I scorn to be out done in Courtesie.
Not without thee: Therefore up I say; away with Complements, I cannot abide them.
You honour me above expression.
A Fig for honour, I love thee man; Sirrah Jayler, bring Chairs hither presently.
Your Highness.—
Away with Highness, I say, away with it; call me Lavin, plain Medicos.
Sure I am awake, this is no Dream?
We will live merrily together, i'saith we will! Come Sirrah what a while have you been bringing these Chairs? I have known a Pimp made a Prince in less time. Brunetto sit thee down, sit down I say.
I will attend your Highness on my Knees.
Why, I am not thy Father, am I? Sit thee here.
On the right hand—That must not be.
Why an'thou wilt have it there, there let it be— But hold, I am mistaken, that is on the left hand; that must not be: Dost thou think I have no manners in me.
There is no remedy, I must obey.
Very well,—What now art thou afraid of me? Marry an'thou draws't back, I'le draw back too: Therefore sit still I say, and let us talk.
I love not these set speeches. Let us talk as if we were in a Tavern together.—Now, I prithee Man, how cams't thou into this damn'd Dungeon?
I, now the Storm comes,—Pardon me Dread Soveraign.
What, on thy Knees again? Dost take me for Mahomet? As well as I can pardon thee, I do pardon thee whatever it be, tho' thou hast kill'd every body.
Wast thou laid up for that: Alas for thee! Hast marry'd her?
Beseech your Grace.
Well, An'thou hast not, I would thou hads't; get her consent, and here I give thee mine. So come along with me to Dinner.
Your Highness shall command me to my Death.
I say, Thou shalt have her, and if I had two Sisters thou shoulds't have them both—Who waits there?
Now my good Lords, you see this Apartment, and you thought sit to have Brunetto shut up here for making Love to my Sister.
It was your Highness Judgment and Command.
Jayler, take me these two Coxcombly Lords, and keep them under Lock: They are never well but when they are doing mischief. In my Conscience and Soul, here is such incumbrance of perplexity, that I protest—Come along Friend.
Why, this is meer Distraction.
We must endure it.
ACT II.
SCENE. The Palace.
THis Dukes Life is very pleasant! Did ever any man come to preferment upon lighter terms, I am made a Prince; and Father Conjurer goes to the Devil for't.
Whose here my pretty little Rogue? I mar'l what makes her at Court, tho' I fear this Affair will cost Lord Barberino a Castration.
'Tis so; What a torment is this now, that I must counterfeit with her? Fair Maiden rise; What is your Name?
Flametta.
Thou shal't fare the better for that:—Trouble not your self, your Trappolin shall be recall'd; and I would I were sacrific'd, if I do not love him as well as I do my self.— Who comes yonder? the Princess.
This is most Gracious.—
Some of my roguy Lords talk't of hanging him, if er'e he come home again; but upon my Honour I swear it, that if they hang him, they shall hang me; and so set thy heart at rest.
Heav'n bless your Highness.
If this be the Princess, I'le be sworn Brunetto was in the Right of it.
Fair Lady, come hither—You are our Sister you'l say.
For a Carnal Reason, that shall be Nameless. But since we are Brother and Sister, we must content our selves as well as we can.
She'l come soon enough, never fear it: But Sister, To our Affair in hand (for I am Vengeance hungry.) At my Return here I found Brunetto in Goal, and it appear'd to be for Love of you: Tell me Sister, can you fancy him?
My Friend a Prince; besworn I no more thought of seeing him a Prince than my self: Sister, you shall have my Consent to marry him, and so there's an end.
What's there to do?
Dread Sir, This is the Day and Hour, in which your Highness is wont to determine Causes in your Chair of State here. And accordingly here are several Persons come to appeal to your Highness for Justice.
What! Justice before I have Dined? I tell you, it is a dangerous thing: I had like to have been hang'd once my Self, because the Judge was Fasting;—Well, let them enter.
Well, here sits the Government: In the first place I would have the Court take notice, that in Affairs of State, I think that words are not to be multiply'd, and I think so I shall not do so; and if I do not, no body else must: So that in this Assembly, he that speaks little, will speak better than he that talks much; and he that says nothing, better than they both.
Debauch'd? That is to say, lay with her? and got her Maidenhead.
Your Highness has a most discerning Judgment.
And how did he do this? Lawfully by the help of a Pimp, or without it?
O most unlawfully! For Sir, he has a Wife and Son too of his own Inches.
Do you hear Woman, we will have that Son debauch'd, you shall get that Son's Maidenhead, and spoil his Fortune.
Hold, hold, I will have no flourishing—This Cause requires some half a Minutes Consideration more than the former: Whipp you say, being drunk drove over your Child and kill'd him: why look you Woman, Drink will make a Coach man a Prince, and Vice versâ by the Rule of Proportion, a Prince a Coachman, so that this may be my own Case another time; however, that shall make no obstruction of Justice:—Therefore Whipp shall lye with you, and be suspended from driving, till he has got you another Child.—
So please your Grace, this is still worse.
No replying after Sentence.—Whose next?
So please your temporal Authority.
How now! my mortifi'd Brother of Geneva, what carnal Controversie are you ingaged in?
Verily, there is nothing carnal in my Cause: I have sustained violence, much violence, and must have much Compensation from the ungodly.
What is your Grievance?
I will pour it forth in the words of Sincerity.
I care not a Farthing for Sincerity, let me have it in Brevity.
This Person here is by Occupation a Mason or Tiler, as the Language of the world termeth it; whilest therefore I stood contemplating a new Mansion that I had prepared unto my self at the same time that this Person occupied his Vocation aloft thereon, or rather should have occupied; such was his wicked negligence, that he fell from the top of the building most unconscionably upon my outward man, even with all his carnal weight, and almost bruised me unto the Death, I being clad in thin Array (through the immoderate heat of the Season,) namely, five Cassocks or Coats, seven Cloaks, and one dozen of quilted Caps.
Believe me Sirs, a most important matter! If such enormities go unpunish'd, what Subject can be safe? Why, if any perverse Fellow take a Pique against his Neighbour, it is but getting up 8 or 10 or 14 stories high, and so fall down upon him as he stands thinking no harm in the Street: I do therefore Decree, That this Tiler shall stand below, while you get upon the Battlements of the House, and fall down upon him.
This is still most monstrous.
As for petty Causes, let them wait till we have Dined— Eo, Meo, and Areo!—Come along Sister.
The self same time you went in Person thither to free Brunetto.
Whose here? the Princess in Tears? Dear Sister, how dost thou do? Come, I know your Grievance, and out of my Natural affection have taken care for you; you marry the Prince Horatio this Night.
A Prisoner say you?—Run Guards and fetch him to our Presence.—Do not so much abuse your self dear Sister, to think I would confine my Friend to Prison.
You did it Sir this Minute, he's scarce there yet.
Madam Sister, If I did, it was in my Drink, and certainly I had some politick Reason for it, which I have now forgot.—Some more Wine Slave to clear my Understanding.
How soon his mind is chang'd? The Heaven's be prais'd.
Dear Prince Horatio an' you do not forgive my Locking you in Prison, I shall never be merry again, and so here is to you dear Prince Horatio.
Upon my knees I pay my humblest Thanks.
Come, come, Take her along Man, take her along, I know Lovers would be private, and to agree the rest among your selves.
Who's yonder? My Lords Banishers at large agen? will the Government never be able to drink in quiet for 'em? Seize these Traytors there, and carry them to Prison. And do you hear Sirrah, it shall be Treason for any body to let them out.
Unless by order from your Highness.
Orders from my Highness? I tell you Rascal, it shall be Treason to let them out, tho' I command it my self. Away with them, go.
What Bona Roba have we hear now?
My Dearest Lord.
For her Dress and Beauty, she may be a Dutchess, who are you Madam?
Do you not know me Sir?
It seems she is none of the wisest, tho'.
How am I alter'd since I came from Millain?
Oh! 'tis the Dutchess: You are our Wife, you'l say?
Sir:
I am glad of it I promise you; come kiss then incontnently.
What mean you Sir, you are merrily dispos'd.
Madam Dutchess, I am somewhat jovial indeed, I have been drinking freely, and so kiss me again.
My Lord.
You are a handsome Woman I promise you, and tell me Madam Dutchess, am not I a proper handsome Fellow?
What a winning look was there too?—To Bed my Dear, to Bed.—I'le but take 'tother Flask, to put State Affairs out of my head, and then—Ah! ha! ha!
ACT III.
SCENE Draws, and Shews Trappolin asleep, Flasks of Wine by him.
WHat a Princely Nap have I taken!—But as I remember I was to have gone to my Dutchess, or dreamt so.—Give me a Bumper.
My Lords at large again?
Long live your Highness.
Amen.
And happily.
Amen for that too—But my small Friends how came you hither? I thought you had been under Lock and Key.
Alass! he is relaps'd as bad as ever.
Sirrah Captain, Why kept you not these Vermine up till I bid you let them out?
So please your Grace I did.
Will you lie Rascal to my Princely Face?
Gods! will this Humor never leave him?
We must in again.
To Kennel with them, walk my good Lords Banishers▪ your Honours know the way. Along with them. Trugh! trugh!
There is no remedy.
Thus far I take it, we have kept the Government in good Order; now for my Dutchess, lead to her Graces Apartment.
Ambassadours from Savoy desire admittance.
What are their Names?
Sir, I presum'd not to enquire.
Then what's their Business?
That Sir were worse presumption.
Thou insolent Varlet, What a Vulgar Fellow dost thou take me for, to speak with Strangers before I know their Business? [Page 32] —Well Sirrah, set a Bumper by our Chair of State, and bring them to our Presence.
What can this mean?
Suppose now, that those should be Spies upon our Government, in the shape of Ambassadours: Loving Subjects, if that be their business, I shall be frank and tell them, they have the wrong Sow by the Ear. For as the Ancients were wont to say, (those Ancients were a wise Nation) it was with them a principle Maxime, Some wiser than some: Trust me for Politicks, I'faith.
'Tis civilly done, by my Troth, and there is no Love lost, I can assure him.
I say, it shews his good Nature as well as his Breeding, and so here's his good health.
If you bring nothing but War, e'en carry it back with you again: We can drink and quarrel fast enough amongst our selves;—But heark you, For the sake of some Dukes that shall be nameless, before I treat with your Master, I must know by what Title he holds.
By Native and Legitimate Claim.
That is as much as to say, I am an Usurper.
By most unquestion'd and immediate Right From Heav'n.
As who should say, my Preferment came from the Devil.
We ask your final Answer, Peace or War.
My final Answer is, to tell no man my Pleasure, till I know it my self.
Look you Sirs, Your Master and I, can agree to fall out at our leisure; but if he pretend to love the Prince Horatio better than I do, he is a very uncivil Person, and so I shall tell him when I next light into his Company.
Why no more have I, nor ever had in my life, and yet I have given him mine.—But as for your Princess, let her set [Page 34] her heart at rest; for if my Friend must not have her, I will marry her my self.
That I confess I had forgot, Care for the State has turn'd my Brain:—But here is to our better Understanding.
In the name of Mars, then let your Master know, I care not, when we meet at the head of our Army—to crack a Bottle.
The next is the Dutchesse's Bed-Chamber.—and yonder she is fast asleep.—What a Neck and Breast is there?—Now do I reckon that my Friend Brunetto and I shall encounter much about a time. I ought to have seen him a Bed first, but my Natural Affection to my Dutchess prevail'd above my Manners.
Here is your Ring again Sir,
What Ring?
Your Signet Sir, which you sent me with, I have according to your Order releas'd the Lords.
Give it me: Now, go Slave commend me to Brunetto, and bid him start fair.
from Prison Sir?
Prom Prison say you?—Here take my Signet with you again, and release him: and say, I charge him on his Allegiance to go to Bed to the Princess immediately; make all fast without there; I can find the way to her Grace by my self: Away.
There's some of Father Conjurer's Powder for you; what it will do for me I know not, but there 'tis.
The Sorcerer has blinded me.
Ay, so would Powder of Post for the present; but if this be all the wonderful Effects, I'le save my skin while I may.
Stop, stop the Traytor, help? Guards, Guards!
What will become of me? I shall never have the heart to swagger it out with him: The Guards are coming too:—Oh rare Powder! 'thas done the work I'faith.
I have thee, and will hold thee, wert thou Proteus.
Help Subjects, help your Duke's assaulted.
Audacious Slave.
Death and Furies.
What Trappolin return'd:
He is distracted sure.
No, no, Trappolin was too honest to assault his natural Prince, this is some Villain transform'd by Magick to his likeness, And I will have him flea'd out of his enchanted skin.
Blood and Vengeance.
Look to him carefully, till you have our further Orders: Now once more for my Dutchess.
Unhand me Slaves, I am the Duke your Soveraign.
Ha! ha! ha!
That Villain that went out, a damn'd Imposter.
Foul Treason, stop his mouth.
Alass▪ he is Lunatick.
Why did you let th'Impostor Devil scape?
Compose thy self poor Trappolin.
What mean the Slaves by Trappolin?
Sir, Are you come? Where is my Ring?
Trappolin come home? And as great a Knave, it seems, as ever: He has heard the Duke sent me with his Ring, and this impudent Rogue thinks to get it.
What do you with this frantick wretch? look to him And lodge him in the Hospital.
Eo, Meo, and Areo, rare Boys still.—I am out of breath with looking for her; the Bed I found, but no Dutchess, and not one of her Women can tell me where she is:—Why here they are now all on a Bundle. Dear Pigs-ney, what a naughty Trick was this, to Spirit your self away, when you know how frighted I am with lying alone?—My Princely Friend, Hast thou consummated? That sneaking look of thine confesses thee Guilty: Well, marry'd or not marry'd, I am resolv'd to see you a Bed together incontinently.
Alass, poor Trappolin! That ever such good Parts as thine should come to this.
Nay then, I see hee'l ne're come to good; to Prison with him, take him away.
Father Conjurer here?—I warrant he's going to the Devil now, and calls at Court for Company.
So here is his Grace and the Devil upon Articles of Agreement, and excluding me from the Treaty:—Well, I'le e'en banish my self whilest I have the Authority in my own hands: I have got a handsome Face by the Bargain, and it [Page 41] would grieve me to be flea'd out of it, and therefore I will steal off as silently as I can.
Savoy, Girl, Savoy—a Count, a Count I warrant thee.
By your leave Father Conjurer, you have serv'd the Devil too.