FAMILY REFORMATION PROMOTED.
IN A SERMON on Joshua, Chap. 24. ver. 15.
AND By short Catechismes fitted for the Three-fold Relations in a Family. Of
- 1. Children and Parents.
- 2. Servants and Masters.
- 3. Husband and Wife.
By D Cawdreys Preacher of the Word at Billing Magn. in Northmptonshire.
I know Abraham, that he will command his Children and his houshold after hm, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, &c.
But if any provide not for his own, and specially those of his own House, he hath denyed the Faith, and is worse then an Infidel.
LONDON Printed by T. C. For John Wright at the Kings Head in the Old Baily 1656.
The Preface to the Reader.
FOr the better understanding, and easier practice of the following Treatise, be pleased to take notice of these three things: 1. The reason of my undertaking this work 2. The end, or design I had in it. 3. The use of it; with the directions tending thereunto.
1. For my undertaking this work, I desire no [...] to assume or arrogate to my selfe, any thing more than [Page] is mine own (the Method and ordering of the several Questions & Answers in the little Catechismes) professing ingenuously, the Materials thereof to be none of mine: they were lent me first by my ever honoured Father, Master Robert Cawdrey (long since gone to his rest and glory) in a Tract first written and published by him, called, A Godly Form of Houshold Government; which found good acceptance and successe among the people of God: But since his decease perused and augmented by those two pious & famous Divines in this generation, Master [Page] Dod, and Mr. Cleaver. In whom I have nothing to complain of, in their publication of it, but that they raised up seed to themselves, and not to their deceased brother: I meane, for putting to their Booke their own Names, concealing (or at least obscuring the Name of the first Father of it; onely putting the two first letters of his names, R. C. which signifies nothing to a strange Reader. But I shall as much commend them for their learned Additions, and pious Augmentations, to make that Discourse more full and compleat. From [Page] that Book, I say, I borrowed the Materialls; and after them, from that Reverend, Iudicious and godly Divine, (whose works and labours, are famous in all the Churches and his Reward now with his God) Dr. Gouge, in his Tract of Domestical Duties; Wherein, they are more elaborately, and largely handled; but perhaps two largely for young ones, to learne or remember; and the Book too dear for many, yea most poor housholders to buy. I once (during our sitting together in the assembly) motioned the businesse to himselfe, That hee would [Page] be pleased, to extract that his larger discourse, into some shorter questions and answers, fitted both to the Capacity of younger people in a Family, and to the Purses of the poorer sort; who have most need of such Instructions. His answer (as I remembred) was, that he liked the motion well, but wanted time and leasure to do it: and withall, not onely gave me leave, but desired me to do what I thought to be most useful therein. I had some thoughts, divers years sence, to have done it in his life time, to have had his judgement and directions in it: But other [Page] troubles and businesse, hitherto diverted the execution of it. I onely drew out some particulars, for the use of my own people, and family, and some private friends: Which being now perfected, and methodized, I present to the publick view, together with a short Sermon, of the Duty, and Necessity of Family Reformation; to perswade, if possible (the blessing of God accompanying it) all Housholders, to put the same in practice: I doubt not, but if all the aforesaid Authors were now living, they would approve of this my undertaking, as others yet [Page] alive have done. That for the first.
2. For the end or designe in it, it was in general, nothing but the Glory of God, and the Good of Soules, Families, Townes, Churches, and the whole Nation in all these; To the advancing whereof, not onely my Holy Calling (however now despised by ungodly men) but my Resolutions of a long time, have obliged me; having devoted my selfe (while I live, which cannot now be long) to the publick good; which I believe may be much promoted, by a conscientious use of the directions [Page] herein given, for it is obvious to every observation, that Families are the Seminaries of Towns, Churches, Countries, and Nations; and are as it were, the Hives, out of which do swarm the materials of greater assemblies; if therefore they be not wel Principled therein all their Relations, the rest must needs miscarry. And here I observed, was the true Original of all our Miscarriages and mischiefes abroad; that when young people went out thence, to constitute new families, either as servante, or by marriage, they knew not the particular [Page] duties of their New Relations; as Husbands and Wives, as Parents and Children, as Masters and Servants: because for the most part, they were never taught them in the Families from whence they were transplanted. Remove a Crabstock from a barren to a fruitfull soile, it will still be a Crabstock, without change of nature. It is a certain Truth, a thousand times exemplified, That (without speciall converting grace) he or she shall never be good parents to their children, that were not good children to their parents: [Page] Nor they good Governours of servants that were not good servants to their Governours; nor they good Husband or Wife, in their own families that were not good in their former family Relations, as children or servants; Nor lastly, will those who are naught in their Family Relations be good Neighbours in a Town, good Members of a Church, or good Subjects, or Magistrates in the State: A good man is the proper subject of the the goodnesse of all other Relations: And he onely is a good man, that is good [Page] in his first Relations; The Spring then of all Reformation, in Townes, Churches, Nations, (next to personal Reformation, where every one mends one, that is himselfe) is that which is found in Families. If they were but either well constituted, or well ordered and reformed, the whole work were done. And that's the Design of this Discourse, and the second thing propounded to consideration.
3. The third and last now onely remaines, which is, the Use and Directions how to improve this Treatise, to the ends for [Page] which it was designed. For the expediting whereof, I shall have a respect. First to the Constitution of a new Family; and secondly to a Family already Constituted: For as it is in Churches, (and the House is or should be a little Church) they are considered either in their first Constitution, or as already Constituted: So it is in Families; some Rules will fit the first Constitution of it, and others the ordering of it, when corrupted.
1. If a Family be to be newly Constituted, as commonly by the Marriage of single persons it is, then [Page] they become first Husband and Wife, then Parents to children, and with that Masters of servants, which are all the Relations of a Family. The principal care must be to chuse fit Materialls for the building; which how well, and how far it may be done, is delivered in the Sermon hereto anneved, to which I refer the Reader.
2. For a Family already Constituted, but corrupted and needing Reformation the same course must be taken, as in Reforming a corrupted Church: For as there, Preaching and Catechising, and all wayes of Instruction [Page] are first to be used by the Minister, the chiefe Officer thereof; and after that, the practice of that knowledge wrought must be pressed by Admonition, Reproofe, Exhortation; And lastly, (if these proceedings prove ineffectual) the exercise of Discipline and Censures upon wilfull and stubborn offenders: Just so it ought to be in a Family, as it is also a little more largely directed in the Sermon following, to which I refer. But we are to speak now onely to the first of those three, how the chiefe Housholder may lay that foundation of Reformation [Page] in his Family; which is by Knowing, and Teaching them under his charge, the true knowledge of those Duties, belonging to the several Relations of a Family, as afore. To which purpose I would commend (if they have not better) the reading, and practicing (in all good conscience and sincerity) of the Sermon following, as far as it concerns themselves in their single, double, or threefold Relation, viz. as Husbands to Wives, as Parents to chidren, as Masters to servants; And then to Teach the rest of the family (their correlates) wives, [Page] children servants, their particular duties according to their relations respectively. But when their children or seroants, are to be transplanted, either for the constituting a new family, as Husbands or Wives, or for the furnishing of another family, as servants; then to aquaint them with and make them understand, the duties of their new Relations, before they come to practice them. To which end, the little short Catechisme's fitted for each Relation, will much conduce, if they be taught, & explained wisely by the chieife Housholder, and [Page] impressed on them, by his own Example, in the performance of his duties in all his owne relations.
The Benefit of teaching and whetting on of these prineiples, conscientiously, will be exceeding great. For,
1. By this meanes Housholders themselves may come to see, repent of, and amend their own miscarriages, not onely when they were children or servants, but also their present neglects, of their duties, as Husbands, Parents, Masters, which they must performe, as they expect that their correlates should be good & [Page] serviceable to them, or Gods blessing upon both.
2 By the knowledge they may get by teaching others, they may not onely learn their own Duties in all their Relations, but also be able to call upon their Inferiours to do their Duties, and to exact them of them, when they goe astray.
3. This (if they have any conscience, or care to please God) may serve to make them the more carefull to performe their own Duties, in all their Relations; because now their Inferiours will be able to discover their failings, having learned their [Page] Duties in such Relations, when God shall call them to them.
4. This way they may fit and prepare their children and servants, to be Materials of new Families, as Husbands or Wives, (according to their Sexe) to be Parents or Masters; being already furnished with the knowledg of the Duties of those new Relations.
5. And lastly, make them Instrumentall and serviceable to the publick good, as good Neighbours in Townes, good Members of Churches, good Subjects in the [Page] State, and some of them good Officers in Church or State; For that Rule of the Apostle here holds well; He that cannot rule his own Family, how shall he govern the Church, or Commonwealth? 1. Tim. 3.4, 5.
One thing more, and I have done; Because Duties will not easily goe down or be digested, if they be not manifested to be imposed by Divine Authority: I have (following the Reverent Doctor herein) backed the most of them, by Texts of Scripture, which held out, either expresse Commands, or eminent Examples [Page] of holy Saints, the best comments upon commands; or noted Extravagances of wicked men, against the rule of the Word; which in opening and explaining of the Answers are to be taken notice of, and applied by the chief Housholder. I need say no more to perswade the Governours of Families, to set upon the exercise and practice of these Directions, than what I have said in the Sermon. I onely adde this short Ejaculation for them and theirs; That the God of all grace would blesse and prosper them, to the Glory of his Name, [Page] the Honour of Religion, the publick Good of Church and State; and to the furthering of their comfort here, and eternall Salvation and glory hereafter. Amen.
FAMILY REFORMATION Promoted.
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
THere hath been of late (all know) much talke, but (God knowes) more need of a general Reformation. The foundations of Church & State, are out of course; and unlesse God put under his hand, very like to come to confusion. The common mistake, and mischief is, that every man almost complains, but few or none do help to amend what is amisse, in [Page 2] themselves or others. It were the readiest (as first and chiefest) way to reform all, for every one to mend one; that is himselfe. For a Family, being made up of single persons, in several Relations; Townes or Congregations of many Families, and the whole Nation, of Townes, or Congregations; if single persons were but as they should be, and as in serious thoughts they acknowledge they ought to be, that is Religiously good, the whole body of Church or State, must needs be so. But it is not so easie a matter, to reforme one man; I meane, to perswade him to reforme himselfe; while some, for ignorance cannot, others for the Impetuousnesse of their lusts, will not; and others out of selfe-conceite, [Page 3] think they need not Reforme, unlesse there be some other Superiour, and Superintendent power to do it; we are not like in hast to see a Reformation. There are therefore (blessed be God) some other means left us to effect this work. First the Govornours of families. Secondly, Officers in the Church. And thirdly, Magistrates in the State. If Governours of families would but reforme their own Relations, the Church would have little use of her Discipline, and the State lesse of Execution of Justice. If on the other side, Townes or Congregations be loose and profane, the Nation consisting of them, cannot be good or happy: if Families be wicked and licentious, Townes and Parishes, [Page 4] consisting of them, must needs be naught: And if single persons, be (and in spight of houshold discipline, will be) vitious, Families consisting of such, must necessarily be bad; and consequently all very bad. The Reformation then of all, should first begin with Single persons; if they refuse, the Housholder must undertake the cure. In his default, the Officers of the Church must make supply by their discipline; And in their neglect, either the civil Magistrate must reforme, both Church and Families, and single persons, or expect nothing but ruine and destruction of all. Now seeing, (as was said) it is not possible, or not very probable for us (Ministers) to perswade every single [Page 5] person, to a serious and through Reformation of himselfe; It remaines to us in the second place, to try how far we can prevaile with chief Housholders to act their part, to make their Families good, so all good who have both power in their hands, and all good reason to move them thereunto, as shall appear hereafter. For this purpose, I have chosen this text, as a worthy Instance of an Exemplary Resolution, in a great and good Housholder; that renowned Joshua by name: Who (leaving others to their choice) for himselfe and family, undertakes to be Religious. Doe you (sayes he) as you please, chuse what Gods you will serve: But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Parts of the text.In the words we may without much curiosity of Division, consider these general parts.
1. The Epitome of all Religion, expressed in these words, To serve the Lord: which is the summe of both Tables of the Law, especially of the first.
2. Joshuahs Resolution to serve the Lord; wherein we have three particulars.
1. His appropriation of it to himselfe, As for me, I will serve the Lord.
2. The extension of his Religion, to his family; As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
3. The Order of it. First himselfe will be Religious, and then his house: I and my house, &c.
1. For the first, The service of God, to be the sum [Page 7] of all Religion; 1 The Epitome of Religion. it appears by those places of Scripture where true Religion is commanded, Exod. 23, 25. Ye shall serve the Lord your God. To serve God. Deut. 10.12. What doth the Lord thy God require of thee? but, to serve him with all thy heart and all thy soul. How? To keep the Commandements of the Lord, &c. That is, all his Commandements of both Tables. Some there are who distinguish Worship and Service, making Worship the object of the first Table, and Service of the second: but without any ground of Scripture; for that holds out Service, as more general, and including Worship, as a more special part of Gods Service: as is evident in the texts above cited, and many more like unto them. We [Page 8] may better distinguish the Service of God into Imediate which is properly called Worship: in the fi [...]st Table and Mediate, by men, which is called Righteousnesse in the second Table: for though we do not properly worship God by doing the works of righteousnesse, yet are we said to serve God in doing to men the duties of the second Table: As the Apostle sayes of servants: That in obeying their Masters, they serve the Lord Christ, Col. 3.24. We note this because it will be of use anone.
2 Joshua's Resolution.2. For the particulars of the second part Joshuahs resolution; many things might be obseved, but we shall wave them all; and look at him onely, as an Housholder, with Relation to his family: I and my [Page 9] house will serve the Lord: and draw out this one Observation.
That it is the property, Observation. and duty of a good Housholder, to provide and taks care, that all under his charge doe serve the Lord; that is, be religious, and righteous; the one towards God, the other towards men: 1 Proved. We shall first confirme it, and then apply it: confirme it.
1. In general; 1 In general, by examples. And here we have first the commended example of Abraham, the father of the faithful, by God himselfe, Gen. 18.19. I know Abraham, that he will command his children and his houshold after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement, &c. Which also he practised, Gen. 14.14. where we heare of his trained, or instructed, [Page 10] catechised servants: And Gen. 17.23. being entered into Covenant himselfe, and circumcised; he circumcised the same day, Ishmael his sonne, and all that were borne in his house, Gen. 35.2. Jacob purgeth his family. and bought with money. This Family Religion, or Reformation, is graciously and couragiously resolved on by David, Psal. 101.2. &c. I will behave my selfe wisely in a perfect way: I will walke within my house, with a perfect heart, &c. And marke his wisdom, both in the constitution, and ordering of his Family, ver. 3. I will set no wicked thing (a thing of Belial, the discription of a wicked person) before mine eyes. I hate the work of them that turn aside, &c. I will not know a wicked person, ver. 4. as if said, [Page 11] None such shall come into my house: He that worketh deceit, shall not dwell in my house (or if he doe unawares come in) he that telleth lyes, shall not tarry in my sight, ver. 7. Who then shall serve him? he that will serve God with him; Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the Land, that they may dwell with me; He that walketh in a perfect way (as I resolved to do, ver. 2.) he shall serve me, Hence it is observable in the New Testament, that as a proper consequence of the Housholders conversion, when any such believed, his Family believed with him. Joh. 4.53. its said of that Nobleman; Himselfe believed, and his whole house. So Acts 16.15. Lydia was converted, baptized, and her houshold: and ver. 33. [Page 12] the Jaylor was baptized he and all his; as if they had learn'd Joshuahs resolution: As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. This for the general.
2 Specially in two Respects.2. We shall look more specially and particularly at those Duties which concern the good Housholder to performe and practice; and that with Respect either to his Relations, or to the particular Services, required in the Family.
1 To the several Relations in the Family. As,1. In respect to his several Relations in the Family; which oftentimes (if not alwayes) are of three sorts: 1. As an [...] Husband to a wife. 2. As a Parent to children. 3. As a Master to servants. The same person may stand in this threefold Relation, and in all these the Duty lies upon him, to see that all [Page 13] under his charge, do serve the Lord: See the particulars.
1. As an Husband to a Wife: 1 As an Husband to a Wife. And the Apostle hath instructed him in that, 1 Pet. 3.7. Likewise ye Husbands dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, &c. That is, being able and ready to instruct, and guide them, in the service and wayes of God: This is implied also, 1 Cor. 14.35. If wives will learn any thing, let them ask their Husbands at home: and ver. 34. they are commanded obedience, as also saith the Law: which implyes he hath power to command them, to know, and serve God: How else can an Husband say (as Joshua) I and my house will serve the Lord, when one principal party, is at liberty [Page 14] to serve the Devil, without controle.
2 As a father to children.2. As a Father (or in his death or absence, a Mother) unto children. The Scripture is expresse for this, and full. Deut. 6.7, 8. These words which I command thee, shall be in thine heart. And thou shalt teach them diligently to thy children; and thou shalt talke of them, when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. The same is repeated again (to note the excellency and necessity, and common neglect of this duty) Deut. 11.18. with this addition in both places; Thou shalt write them upon the dooreposts of thy house, and upon thy gates, to make them know, and remember them the better: So [Page 15] Pro. 22.6. Train up a childe in the way he should goe, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. The New Testament speaks the same language, Eph, 6 And ye Parents, bring up your children in the nurture, and admonition of the Lord.
3. As a Master to servants: 3 As a Master to servants. Abrahams example is here recorded for imitation: He will command his houshold (as well as his children) that is his servants, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, &c. That Psal. 101. is Davids profession, for ordering his servants. He will have all his servants faithful and religious, or make them such, or else eject, and turn them out of doores. The Masters of families, Exod. 12.44. were to see that their servants did eat the Passeover; [Page 16] and did sanctifie the Sabbath, Exod. 20. in the fourth Command [...]ent. Thus in respect to his Relations.
2 To the kinds of service of God.2. In respect to the several kinds of Services of God, to be maintained in the Family; and they are (as we said) of two sorts.
1 Immediate in the first Table1. Immediate service of God, in the first Table of the law, called specially Worship: and that according to the four Commandments thereof: 1. To know, feare, love, trust, delight in God: required in the first Commandement. 2. To cause them to know, and attend upon all instituted Ordinances of worship; as Prayers, Reading, hearing the word: Grace & Thanksgiving at Meales, Sacraments, &c: 3. To Reverence Gods Name, in not taking it in vain; and [Page 17] reverent using of all his Ordinances and Creatures. 4. To sanctifie his Sabbath: These the chief Housholder is to take care of, in all in his Family, as the places aforecited manifest.
2. Mediate Service, 2 Mediate in the second. is that which at second-hand, redounds to God, by serving of men, according to the Commandements of the second Table; Teaching them to be obedient to Superiours; to be meek, quiet, peaceable: To be chast and temperate: To be just and righteous in their dealings. To be true and faithful in their words; And to be moderate in their desires, contented with their own estate, &c. In doing these things, men are said, by reflexion, and at last result to serve God; as is clearely spoken of [Page 18] servants, Col. 3.24. and Eph. 6.6. Not with eye-service as men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. And ver. 7. With good will doing service as to the Lord, and not to men. God is pleased to esteem himselfe served and worshipped, in faithfull performance of the works of our callings, and duties of the second Table, to our neighbour; as well as in our Immediate worship of himselfe, in the first Table.
3. By Reason.Thus have we both explained, and confirmed the Doctrine, by light, and proofes of Scripture; we shall adde the light and strength of Reason.
1. He is Gods Deputy.1. The chief Housholder, is in his family Gods Deputy or Vice-roy, yea a God to his Wife, children, and servants, [Page 19] as Moses was to Aaron, Exod. 4.16. Liberis suis Pater Dei vice est. Greg. Naz. And therefore to manage his Authority for God, in promoting his service, in the little World, or Kingdom of his own House. He hath Gods Titles, of Father, and Lord put upon him; and so the Supreame power in the family, to command all his subjects (for so they are in a sense) for God: As was said of Abraham, he will command his Houshold, &c. He is also called the Head of the Family (though chiefly of his wife) to oversee and guide the body, that little Domestical body.
2. The Chief housholder Christian, is in Christs stead, 2 In Christ stead; in all his offices. As, to his family; And hence it is said of dutiful servants, that in serving their Masters, they serve the Lord Christ, [Page 20] Col. 3.24. whose Deputies, Masters are to them. Whereupon they are invested with all his Offices (as every good Christian is to himselfe. Rev. 1.6. 1 Pet. 2.) of Prophet, Priest, and King. These three Offices met all in one man at the beginning, as in Adam to be sure, he was all these to his Family; afterwards, they were severed, and distributed into several persons; one a Prophet, another a Priest, another a King: Sometimes two of them met in one person, a Priest & a King, as Melchisedeck; a Prophet and a Priest, as Samuel; a Prophet and a King as David; But they never met all in one person, till Christ the Second Adam was anointed above his fellowes, and recovered that which the first Adam lost. And this Oyntment, [Page 21] descended to the skirts of his garments, the meanest of his Members; but especially to Houshlders, as their primitive right, to be in one person, a Prophet, a Priest and a King to his Family; Touch but the particulars.
1. A Prophet, 1. A Prophet. to teach and instruct his Houshold, Deut. 6.6. Thou shalt diligently teach them, &c. Eph. 6.6. Every Housholder, is a Preacher to his own family, a Minister in a sense, to read and expound with modesty, the word of God, to Catechise and instruct his wife, children servants.
2. A Priest, 2 A Priest▪ to off [...]r Sacrifice for them, and with them as Job did for his: Both propitiatory sacrifice (after a sort) that is, praying for pardon of their sins, [Page 22] and for grace; and Peace-offerings, or Eucharistical Sacrifices, of Praises and Thanksgiving, for them and with them, as for himselfe. 1 Pet. 2.9. Ye are a royal Priest-hood that ye should shew forth the praises of him, Heb. 13.15. who hath called you out of darknesse, into his marvelous light.
3. A King.3. A King to rule and command (as well as to protect) his family. Abraham will command his Houshold, &c. And the Coercive and correcting power over his family, argues his authority to be King-like. The very Heathens acknowledged this truth by the light of Nature, Eph. 1. last. That every man should beare rule in his own house. It is spoken with respect to the Wife; but will much more [Page 23] extend to children and servants: There is a kinde of Civil judicature erected in the Family, a power to examine, try, censure, punish, and eject offenders, Gen. 21.10. Cast out the Bondwoman with her sonne. And this houshold discipline David resolves to exercise in his house, Psal. 101. either to keep out, or cast out such as are wicked and incorrigible: This of the second Reason.
3. Every chief housholder hath Curam animarum, 3. He hath the cure of souls. the charge of the souls of his family (not properly pastoral, but very like it.) He must give an account of the soules, of his Wife, Children, Servants, as well as the Magistrate of the souls of his Subjects, Ezek. 34.10. or the Minister of the soules of his people, Ezek. 2.18. It concerns him [Page 24] therefore very nearely to endeavour to make them Religious, which is the onely way to save their soules.
4. His house is a lesser Church.4. Every Christians house, should be a lesser Church; as the Church is called the House of God. Hence we read of a Church in a house. Rom. 16.5. The Church which is in the house of Aquila and Priscila: Philem. ver. 2. The Church in thy house: Whether it were, because the Congregation did assemble in their houses (having at that time no publick place of meeting) or that in their houses there were enough to make a little Church (as some limite the number at lest to seven) or whether their houses were so ordered for Religion, that they seem [...]d to be lesser Churches: it is not material to inquire. Of that famous [Page 25] Emperours house Constantine, it is reported by Eusebius, that the exercises of Religion were so ordered in it, that it differed little from a Church; There were Prayers morning and evening, reading of the word, Catechising, Singing of Psalmes (all but Sacraments and Preaching) as in the Church: And to use St. Chrysostomes words, Where there are (in a house) Prayers, and Singing of Psalmes, Tom. 1. pag. 6.11. l. 19. &c, in Psal. 41. and reading of the Prophets, &c. a man should not much mistake, in calling such a meeting or assembly a Church. And this service of God in the family, he calls [...]; a good Liturgie, & worship of God. And besides there is, or should be exercised a Church-like Discipline, even a lesser Excommunication of refractorie [Page 26] offenders; as David professes he would deal with wicked, proud, deceitfull, lying servants. Psal. 101. If by instruction, admonition, correction he could not reclaim them, he would Excommunicate & cast them out of the Church, in his house. This may suffice for confirmation of the point.
2 Applied.We now come to the Application of all, by Uses and Inferences therefrom.
1 To check the rashnesse of young people.1. To consider and bewaile the rashnesse of many young ones, who rush upon Family Relations, and never know or weigh how fit, or unfit they are to discharge the Duties of those Relations. They must be married forsooth, in all the hast; there's one Relation; then come children (perhaps before the lawful time) [Page 27] there's another: And then servants must be had, to attend them and theirs: that's a third Relation; but know not what the duties of any of those relations are, nor the charge of those souls, under their Inspection. While a man is single, he hath care (almost) of none, but his own soul; and much liberty to study how to serve and please God, 1 Cor. 7.34. But when once he hath a family, made up of these three relations, his duties are multiplied with them, and now he must take care of the Soules of wife, children, servants: and yet scarce knows how to take care of his own soul. Little do they consider, that the chief housholder must be a Prophet to teach, a Priest to pray with and for, a King to [Page 28] rule his own family: when they cannot teach, pray, or rule themselves. Let this consideration check and coole the heat, and heady rashnesse of younger people.
2 It shews the iniquity of Toleration.2. This may serve to discover the iniquity of that so much cal'd for cursed Toleration of all Religions; falsly called Liberty of Conscience. The mischiefes of it are so many, and so great, that they cannot be aforehand imagined; Besides the publick, disturbance of the peace, by different fractions and factions, &c. The natural, or unnatural consequences of such a Toleration; the divisions in families will be as many almost, as there are persons; and the wisest Housholder cannot possibly redresse it. But the maine [Page 29] is this; that it will prove impossible for the most pious Housholder to do his duty, in making his Family Religious, and to serve God with him, in all his relations, when as he hath no coercive power to resolve with Joshua, I and my house will serve the Lord. Suppose (which experience daily confirmes to be true) The Housholder be a godly, zealous Protestant, his Wife an Independent, the children Anabaptists, some one or more of the servants Papists, &c. How is it possible the Superiour should unite all these into a Church in his house, to serve God, if a toleration for all Religions be granted? Some will pretend they goe to serve God in their own way, and assemblies; and perhaps goe [Page 30] to serve the Devil, in the Stewes or Taverne. How shall the Housholder joyne with his family, wife, children, servants, in prayers, reading, hearing, Sacraments, & sanctification of the Sabbath by all together, (which is charged upon him in the fourth Commandement) when they not onely detest his way of serving God, but his prayers, reading, Sabbaths, &c. and perhaps himselfe? different affections commonly arising from differing opinions and judgements: Let the wise consider it.
3 Complaint of many Housholders.3. Here's matter of just complaint of many, of most Housholders; who are discovered to be little Religious themselves, by the profanenesse, and loosnesse of their Family; wives, children, [Page 31] servants. In that place afore cited, Deut. 6.6, 7. its made a sign of a man, that is godly and religious, that hath Gods words in his heart, that he endeavours to make his family such. These words that I command thee shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them to thy children, &c. Contrarily, ignorance of God, and irreligion in their families, are joyn'd together, Jer. 10.25. and both of them Characters of a nation or family lying under the wrath of God, and subject to his curse and destruction; Pour out thy fury upon the Heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy Name. Much complaining there is every where, of the badnesse of servants, children, wives, as if they were corrupted abroad; [Page 32] when the truth is, they are either corrupted, or neglected at home, for want of instruction, or houshold discipline, or good example of the chief and Head of the family. This might be exemplified in all the Relations of the family; and in all the Services of God required in the family, to be exercised by the Master of the house▪ How much ignorance of God and his word in most families? For neglect of How much loosnesse, profanenesse, wickednesse, in children, servants, wives? Take but the reason of all in a word, it is because there is no care of the service of God, in the family, by the Chief of the family. Look but upon the particular services:
1 Morning and evening prayers in the family.1. A constant course of Morning & Evening Prayers, [Page 33] is one principle part of the service of God in the family, which is evinced by this one argument (because some deny the necessity of it, and call for Scripture for it) to omit others; Because it being God that hath placed men in a Community (setting the solitary in families, Psal. 68.6.) it cannot be justly conceived, he did this meerly for their worldly conveniences; but rather that they should improve their Society to his glory, who is the Lord of them altogether, as well as of every one single; so to worship him joyntly, as well as of every one solitarily and apart, Zach. 12. And as Congregations or publick Assemblies, are appointed purposely for the more solemne worship of God, by all several families: So are families for a joynt and lesse [Page 34] solemne worship of God, by all the single persons thereof together. And indeed, how hath the family that knowledge of God, to be 1. Their great Lord and Master. 2, The Author of their peace among themselves; Psal. He maketh men to be of one minde in an house, that the Governour is gentle to his inferiours, and they dutiful to him. 3. The Author of all blessings to them all; of health and strength to follow their labours, and of successe and comfort in them; if they agree not together to joyne in worship of that their Lord, and in tendering Prayers and Praises, for such things as they expect and receive from him? But now how visible, how common is the neglect of this service of God? [Page 35] How many, or rather how few families are there that keep this course? How many goe to bed like their Swine, and rise again like their Dog, without ever calling upon Gods Name? to give thanks for mercies received, or pray for what they want? The very Lords Prayer (which runs in the plural) implyes this a dayly duty of every man, and being a society, it requires it of all together that can meet; to say, Our Father, &c. and thine is the Kingdome, &c. The House is a little Church, and so may be called an House of Prayer.
2. Reading and hearing of the word, 2 Reading and hearing of the word. is another commanded service, as by every person single, so by all together in the family: It concerns the Master of the [Page 36] family to see this done, Deut. 11.18. &c. is expressed for this, to make the Scriptures known to their houshold; speaking of it to them, writing it upon the posts and gates, and reading of it is now the readiest way. But now, how many Families have not one Chapter read from years end, to years end, at least from Sabbath to Sabbath? How shall they understand the word in publick, Col. 3.16. that are not acquainted with it in private? The Apostle commands, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdome, teaching and admonishing one another, &c. And it was the commendation of Timothius Parents that he knew he holy Scripturs from a child; which onely are able to make a man wise to salvation. In many [Page 37] families, and they great ones, we may finde Play-Books, and amorous lacivious discourses frequently read; but rarely a Chapter of the Bible, all the week long: Is it any wonder then, that wives, children, servants, are so bad?
3. Catechising and instructing of those under their charge, 3 Catechising. is another Service of God, Deut. 6.6. Thou shalt whet them upon thy Children, &c. or sharpen them by often repeating. and the best meanes to work knowledge of God and his service in the hearts of inferiours: Traine up a childe (and servant) in the trade of his youth, and when he is old, he shall not depart from it. Thus did David drop Religion into Solomon, while a childe, Pro. 4.3, 4. and so did his mother Bathsheba, Pro. 31.1, 2. &c. Timothies did the like, 2 Tim. 2. But how is [Page 38] this every where neglected? Few children or servants are taught the Catechisme, the first principles of Religion? Hence the unprofitablenesse under the best publick preaching: Hence so many are seduced into so many grosse errors, and heresies, and profanesse.
4 Singing of Psalms.4. Singing of Psalmes is another service of God in the family, as well as in the publick: See Col. 3.16. Teaching and admonishing one another, with Psalmes, and Hymnes, and spiritual Songs, making melody in your hearts to God. We heare Ballads, and Jigs, and filthy Songs, sung in families; but not a Psalme all the year long.
5. Grace before and after meales, 5 Grace at meales. is a part of Prayer and Praises, due to God; but shamefully neglected in families, [Page 39] or but a meer formality, if used, without any reverence. Is it any wonder children, servants, be so bad to them, when they are so bad to God? that they do as the children of Israel did, Sit down to eat and drink, and rise up to play: and that play was Idolatry. Our blessed Saviour himselfe never eat himselfe, or fed others at his Table, but he blessed and gave thanks, Mark. 8.6, 7. & the Apostle Paul amongst Heathens observed the same, Acts 27.35. And the same Apostle, speaking of meats particulary; God hath created them to be received with thanksgiving, of them which believe & know the truth: For every creature of God, is good if it be received with thanksgiving; For it is sanctified by the word of God, [Page 40] and prayer, 1 Tim. 4.3, 4, 5. As if it were not good, if not sanctified by prayer and thanksgiving; but may prove a Serpent, even a poyson to soul or body: And the neglect hereof argues (in the Apostles Logick) that such persons, neither believe, nor know the truth. Let them consider it.
6 Sanctification of the Sabbath.6. Lastly, Sanctification of the Sabbath, by the whole family, in all or most of the duties aforesaid, publickly and privately, is the care of the chief housholder; as in the fourth Commandment: Remember thou keep holy the Sabbath day: Thou Master, and thy sonne and daughter, manservant and maidservant. What need so particular enumeration, if there were not a great weight in [Page 41] the performance thereof? But where shall we finde the family that doth all this? when the Housholders themselves neglect or profane it by their own example; and imploy their children and servants in businesses, to keep them from the publick Congregation, or leave them to come or goe at their own pleasure; or to spend the day in Idelnesse or Sports & pastimes, that day; How can these men say truly, I and my house, we will serve the Lord? I shall onely say more truely, what once was falsly applied to our Saviour; This man is not of God, because he keepeth not the Sabbath day: because he takes no care, that his family with him, do keep the Sahbath day. And thus much of the third Use.
[Page 42] 4. Exhortations to the duty; where,4. The last is a word of Exhortation, to set on this duty, upon all Chiefe Housholders, in all their Relations, to resolve with Joshua, (what ever others doe) As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. To perswade them more effectually to the performance hereof, I shall propound some more special Motives, and then prescribe some Directions or meanes, how they may effect it,
1 The Motives from the Good.1. The Motives (besides those Reasons used in the Doctrinal part) which should be sufficient to perswade any Christian) I shall adde these which shall have respect, 1. To the family. 2. To the publick. 3. To themselves.
1 To the Family.1. To the Family; It is the greatest Good they can [Page 43] doe to them, to make them Religious: To provide an Estate, or inheritance for children; meat, drink and wages for servants is no more than Turks and Heathens doe. What singular thing is this? yea, they provide meat and drink for their beasts, and no more for their families soules? to leave them interested in the Covenant of grace, under the favour, blessing & protection of God, when they are gone hence; this is the choisest, and chiefest good, and for this they will blesse God for them, for ever.
2. To the publick, 2 To the publick. in Towns, Countries, Church, Nation, which are all made up of families, as families of single persons: To make the family good and Religious, makes good Magistrates, [Page 44] good Subjects, good Husbands, good Wives, good Masters, good Servants good Neighbours; when any of the family swarmes, as I may so say, into other Societies; The Town, Country, Kingdome, is bettered and blessed by such: He or She, will never be good neighbours, Subjects, &c. that were not good in their Family Relations: He will never be good Father, that was not a good childe; nor she a good Mother, that was not a good daughter: nor he good Master, that was a naughty servant; and so of the rest. Absolom who was a rebellious childe, proved a traiterous Subject: Hophin and Phineas, that were disobedient children, proved sacrilegious Priests, &c. There is a saying of the Philosophers; [Page 45] Mulus vir, bonus civis: An ill man, may be a good Citizen; But Divinity sayes, An ill man, can no more be a good Citizen, or neighbour, then evil can be good. The want therefore of family Reformation is the cause of all the miscarriges abroad, in Townes, Churches, Country, Nation: Hence come all those disorders in Townes & Nations, Drunkennesse, Ʋncleannesse, Profannesse, &c. from want of discipline in families. This fills the Goales, and furnishes the Gallows: Be the Lawes, Orders, in Cities, Churches, never so good; yet all in vain, if Masters of families neglect their duties. Much complaint there is of the general badnesse of the times, but they may thank themselves: And as for the [Page 46] Church or Congregation; the long desired, and by some much endeavoured Reformation, sticks here: The want of this Resolution in Masters of families, I and my house will serve the Lord: makes all the Ministers labours unfruitful. It's impossible a Minister should teach, instruct, and make a Town, or Congregation Religious, unlesse assisted by the Governours of houses. If their Housholds be not taught the Principles of Religion at home, acquainted with the word, by private reading; brought to attend on, and call'd to account for publick Ordinances, all our labour comes to nothing. As then the Housholders intend the Publick good of State and Church, let them resolve, I and my house, &c. [Page 47] See Psal. 101. last, this mend all.
3. To themselves; 3. To themselves: it is if the other prevaile not, self-love should. It is for their own greatest good, and that two wayes.
1. The way to make them faithful, diligent, profitable to themselves, 1 For their profit. is to make them truly religious. Now, Wives, children, servants, obey them for Conscience sake, towards God. Onesimus, while unregenerate, was unprofitable to his Master Philemon; a purloyner (it seems) and a runaway; But Paul having converted him, sends him home, now profitable. Ungodly and profane servants, are commonly idle, deceitful, at best but Eye-servants; and bring a curse upon the whole family. But religious [Page] servants, if truly so, prove faithful, you may trust them with any thing, with all you have (as Potiphar did Joseph, and Laban did Jacob) and they dare not be false: And diligent in their labours, because they set themselves alwayes under the eye of God; and when their Masters eye is far off them, they see him that is invisible: But above all, they are Prayerful, morning, evening, and at all times, and so procure a blessing on their labours, upon estate, children, businesses intrusted with them. See an instance in Abrahams servants, Gen. 24.12. his prayer for successe of his journey, and businesse, and ver. 33. his faithfulnesse, and diligence, not eat till know the issue. They then are enemies [Page 49] to their own profit, that endeavour not to make their families good.
2, This is for their comfort, 2 For their comfort. living or dying, when they shall see their care and labour succeed and blessed by God, with grace and holiness in their families: what joy and comfort will this be, to have been instrumental to their salvation? I have (saith he) no greater joy than this, to see my children walking in the truth: A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish one is an heavinesse and shame to his mother: So is a wise and religious servant, no lesse honour than comfort to his Master. If it succeed not, yet a comfort to hem, that they have done their duty. Though it be a grief to see no fruits of their travel, yet much more [Page 50] when conscious of their neglect of their soules: In hell nothing more tormenting, than for not having done their duty, to help them to salvation, by instruction, admonition, correction: but rather to further their damnation, by wicked examples, and so to be filled with their curses, as soul-murderers. Let all these things bee considered. I might remember them of the famous examples of such Housholders, as were careful to make their families Religious, in Scripture and Stories; those afore named, Abraham, Jacob, David, &c. And that of Constantine the Emperour, whose house was for Religion, like a Church: I shall give but one of later times, That of Lewes the ninth, King of France, who [Page 51] was found instructing a poor kitchin boy; and being asked why he would doe so, said, The meanest hath a soul as precious as my owne, and bought with the same blood of Christ. But I forbeare any more, and come to
2. The Directions, 2. The directions or means how they may make their Families religious with themselves.
1. Begin at home, 1. Begin at home. and make themselves examples to their Families, as Joshua here observes the right order; I first, and then my house, shall serve the Lord: Inferiours look more at what Superiours doe, then what they say. The wickednesse of the Heathens, was from the lewdnesse of their gods and goddesses, as the Poets described them. Jup [...]ter adulterous, Venus a wanton, [Page 52] Bacchus a revelling drunkard, &c. Who will care to be better then his God? what servant will be more religious than his Master? or maid than her Lady or Mistresse? Nay, it is a shame to a Parent, or Master, to have his children, or servants better then himself: And this is the reason, why dissolute and wicked Masters will not endure religious servants because their life is a real reproof; Solomons experience tells us, When a Ruler (of House, or Town, or Nation) hearkens to lyes, all his servants are wicked, Pro- 29.12. It's true in other vices of Superiours; when they are Drunkards, Ʋnchast, Profane; their servants are so too, or will quickly be made such. If you would have your families, in all [Page 53] Relations religious and holy, be you holy in all manner of conversation: if you be wicked, its in vain to offer to make them good. It will be said, Physitian heal thy self. Nothing either silences, or duls the edg of instructions, reproofs, corrections more, then to hear; Thou that teachest another, teachest thou not thy selfe? Thou that sayest thy Wife Childe, Servant should not commit Adultery, be drunk, be a profaner of the Sabbath, lye, swear, &c. dost thou do all, or any of these things? As one candle cannot light another, if it selfe be out, so, nor shall an housholder inform or inflame his family with the love of God and godliness, if himselfe want it; or reforme those that walk disorderly, [Page] if himselfe need Reformation. Reformation never sticks, but (as they say in fleying of a beast) at the Head. When one told Sigismund the Emperour; Let the Reformation begin from the Minorites) a kind of Fryars) No, sayes he, if ever it be done, it must begin at the Majorites. We heard afore, when the chief Housholder was converted & believ [...]d all his house believed also.
2. Look to the constitution of the Family.2. Look well to the constitution of your Families, (as some say of Churches, the house being to be a lesser Church) that they be at least visible Saints, that is, apparently religious; though perhaps secret hypocrites. That is, look well when you first set up a family, whom you admit into that society: Especially for a wife & servants: [Page] (for Children cannot be chosen, but given, as a gift from God.) If in choice of a Wife, men look either onely, or chiefly at Beauty, Parentage, Portion; it matters not for R [...]ligion; if they be vexed with an ill piece of Housholdstuffe, they may thank themselves, and make the Reformation of the Family, very difficult, if not impossible. When the Husband shall call to prayers and the Wife to playing, Carding, Dice; what, hope of Reformation, or Religion there? When Mical shall sc [...]ffe at Davids devotion, what can be expected that's good? Woe be to him that hath a Philistine in his bosome, as Sampson had. So if in choice of a servant, men shall look onely at their own service, [Page 56] for such an imployment, & never care for the Religion or godlinesse of that servant; the lesse of that, the better: is it any wonder they complaine of ill servants, and bad services? can you look they should be faithfull to you, when they and you are unfaithful to God? Mark and imitate Davids choice, Psalm 101.4. I will not know a wicked person. v. 6. Mine eyes shall bee upon the faithful, that they may dwell with me, &c.
3. Set up Religion in earnest3. Set up, and keep up Family Religion in earnest, and not in formality only: Instruction, Catechising, Reading of the word, praying, sanctification of the Sabbath, &c. in your selves and yours; And resolve to exercise and execute Family-discipline upon those that [Page 57] are incorrigible. If admonition, reproofe, correction, will not amend them; proceed to the censure of houshold Excomunication: (the house being a lesser Church) So David resolved, Psal. 10.4, 5, 7. A froward heart shall depart from me; He that privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off. He that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight, (in my house) Let no Swearer, Drunkard, Ʋnclean person, &c. dwel or tarry in your houses: Tell them, As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord; if you will not serve the Lord with me, you shall not serve me.
4. Keep out (as much as you can) all wicked Companions from your houses: 4. Keep out. Its not possible to keep Religion [Page 58] up in your Families, in power and purity; when Swearers, Drunkards, &c Atheists and Scorners of godlinesse, may have entertainment, and countenance therein. These will corrupt your children and servants (and well if not your wives.) These will scoffe you out of your Religion or coole and quench your devotion. Prayers, and Reading, &c must bee sometimes intermitted to gratifie them: Sabbaths must be profaned for their sakes. Say then, you Masters of houses, Away from me, ye wicked, I will keep the commandements of my God▪ even Strangers of old were to be kept from profaning of the Sabbath, as in the fourth Commandement; the stranger [Page 59] that is within thy gates: or if not, to be turned out of doores, out of the gates, Nehem. 13.17, 21. If they will not observe the religious services of the house, nor goe with you to Gods house, let them not lodge in your houses. Say then peremptorily, say and hold it: As for you, doe as you think good, be wicked, profane, &c. it is like you, But as for me and my house we w [...]ll serve the Lord.
Lastly, to conclude all; Here might have been added a short exhortation to all sorts of Inferiours in the Family- relations, Inferiors to submit to this way. as wives, children, servants, to submit to this Religious Ordering or Reformation by the Governour of the house. If he must necessarily command, [Page 60] they ought conscientiously to obey; that so the family, Town, Church, State, may be happily reformed, and blessed.
Chapter 1. The Duties of Children to their Parents.
Children obey your Parents in all things, for that is well pleasing to the Lord.
Q. WHat are the parts of this Text?
A. Three.
1. A duty; Obey your parents.
2. The extent of it, in all things.
3. The reason or motive; For this is well pleasing to the Lord.
Q. What is meant by children and Parents?
A. By children are especially meant such as proceed by natural generation; by Parents, natural Parents, both father and mother.
Q. What are the grounds of childrens duties to Parents?
contra 2 Tim. 3.3. A. A mixture of love and fear; love from the affections of Parents to them: and fear from the authority of Parents over them: A fearing love, and a loving fear.
Q. What are the duties of children to Parents?
A. Two, Reverence and Obedience.
Q. Wherein consists their Reverence?
A. In their speech and gest re.
Q. How doth reverence appear in speech?
A. 1. In a modest forbearance to speak in their presence, Job 22.9, 10, 21, till Parents give leave.
2. In right framing their words when they do speak.
Q. How may they frame their words aright?
A. 1. Their words must be honourable (to them, or of them) giving them their Titles of Father, Lord, Sir, Mother, Gen. 22.7. 1 Kin. 2.20.
2. They must bee few, onely as occasion is offered.
3. They must bee meek and humble, as Jonathan to his Father, 1 Sam. 19.4.
4. They must observe fit opportunities, 1 Sam. 19.9. and 20, 30. when their Parents are not busie, or in passion.
5. A ready pleasing in their answers, as 1 Sam. 3, 4, 6. Matth. 21.30.
Q. How must they expresse Reverence in their gesture or carriage?
A. 1. In tendering obeysance, Gen. 46 29. 1 Kin. 2.19. Gen. 46.12. uncovering the head, standing up, bowing the body or knee,
2. In modesty and bashfulnesse in their countenances and carriage.
3. in taking the lower place.
4. In asking their blessing, Gen. 27.19.34.
Q. What obedience is due to Parents?
A. Both Passive and Active, 1 Pet. 1.14.
Q. Wherein must Passive obedience appear?
A. In forbearance to do any thing of moment, without consent of Parents; As,
In choice of a Calling, Gen. 28.2.
2. In marriage, Deut. 7.3. [Page 65] 1 Cor. 7 36, 37. Gen. 24.67. and 29.18. Judg. 14.2.
3. In disposing of their goods, Gal 4.1.
4. In ordering their apparel, Gen. 37.3. 2 Sam. 13.18.
4. In vowing, Num. 30.4.
Q. Whereby must their Atctive obedience bee manifested?
A. 1: In obeying their commands, to come or go, or do any thing required, Gen. 28.5. and 49.1. 1 Sam. 17.19, 20.
2. In hearkening to their instructions, Prov. 1.8, 9. and 4.1, 3.
3. In patient bearing their reproofes, Gen. 37.10. 1 Sam. 20.30. with amendment, Ezod. 18.17. contra 1 Sam. 2.25. Pro. 13.1.
4 In submission to their [Page 66] corrections, Heb. 12 9. and reforming, Prov. 29.7.
5. In recompencing their care, love, and kindnesse, if God makes them able, 1 Tim. 5.4. by protection, provision, Joh. 19.17 support, comfort, &c. 1 Sam. 22.3, 4. Genes. 37.35. and 47.8.47.12.
Q. What more is required?
A. 1. In natural infirmities, inward or outward, they are to beare them patiently, and cover them carefully from others, Gen. 9 23. Luke 2.51. contra Pro. 30.17.
2. In casual necessities, upon their bodies or estates, they are to their power to relieve them.
Q. Doe children owe any Duties to their deceased Parents?
A. 1. Yes: A decent and [Page 67] honourabble burial, as they are able, Gen. 25.9. and 35.29.
2. In paying their debts, if the State will bear it.
3. To suppresse evil reports of them.
4. 1 Kin. 3.3. and 15, 12 To imitate their good examples: these are a part of that honour due to their Parents.
Q. What is the extent of their obedience?
A. The Text saith, in all things, that is in all lawful things, in the Lord, Eph. 6.1. In things indifferent, bringing their wils to their Parents.
Q. What motives are there to enforce these duties upon children?
A. 1. This is well pleasing to the Lord; and the cantrary displeasing.
2. Parents are in Gods [Page 68] stead to them, and in doing their duties to them, they doe it unto God: and contra.
3 The promises made to their obedience, of long life, Eph. 6.1, 2, 3. and happinesse in this world, in their persons, estates, posterity, by their Parents blessings, Deut. 5.16. and the contrary, threatnings and curses to undutiful children, Prov. 30.17.
4 This Obedience to their parents on earth, shall be a good evidence they are childen to God their Father in heaven.
Q. Are there not some besides natural Parents, that children owe duty to?
A. Yes: Such as are in the place of parents to them; which may be three wayes.
[Page 69]1. Fathers or mothers in Law, by marriage.
2. Guardiars, the next of kin, when Parents are dead.
3. Tutors and School-masters, intrusted with them.
Q. What duties do children owe to their fathers or mothers in Law?
A. The same for the most part, that they owe to their natural Parents. As 1. Reverence, Exod, 18.7. 2. Subjection, Luc. 2.51. 3 Recompence, as Ruth 1. and 2. chap.
Q. Ʋpon what grounds are these due?
A. 1. The marriage bond maketh man and wife one flesh, and so to be accounted by them.
2. It is an honour to the natural Parent for children [Page 70] to respect the other party, that is now one flesh with them.
Q. What duty owe they to Guardians and Tutors, &c.
A. A subjection and reverence, because they have the trust and charge of Parents to them, as Esth. 2.20. 2 Kings 2.12, 15. Gal. 4.2.
Chapter 2. The Duties of parents to their children.
And ye Fathers provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Q. WHat are the parts of those Texts?
A. Three. 1. A prohibition, provoke not your children to wrath.
2. A reason thereof; lest they be discouraged.
3. A Precept; but bring them up; &c.
Q. What duties are here enjoyned?
A. 1. To nourish or breed them up, with food, apparel and other necessaries.
2. To nurture them, viz. with good discipline.
3. To instruct them in the wayes of God; in admonition of the Lord.
Q. What is the foundation of Parents duties to their children?
A. Love; (as in other relations) Tit. 2.4. by reason of the paine, paines, care, and cost, which nothing [Page 72] but Love will beare out.
Q. What vices are contrary to this love?
A. 1. Want of natural affection, in the defect. Rom. 1.30. Tit. 3.3.
2. Doating on them, and fondnesse in the excesse, with too much indulgence, 1 Sam. 2.29
Q. What are the general duties, at all times to be done by Parents?
A. 1. Faithful and fervent prayers for them, 1 Thes. 5.17. from beginning to end.
2. Upright walking with God, before them, Psal. 112.2. Prov. 20.7. and 13.22.
3. A provident care for their childrens good, all their dayes, both temporal, and spiritual good.
Q. What is the duty of [Page 73] mothers to their children in their infancy?
A. 1 Before it is borne, care for the safe carriage & delivery of it.
2 When it is borne, 1. provision of necessaries for it, Luke 2.7. 2. Nursing it her selfe, if God make her able, Gen. 21.7. Sarah and Hannah, 1 Sam. 1.22. Psal. 22.9. 3. Procuring of right Baptism, which concerns also, and chiefly the father: as in circumcision.
Q. What duties concerne them in childhood?
A. A special care, in bringing them up, and in putting of them forth when fit.
Q. What must Parents aime at, in bringing of them up?
A. 1. At their temporal good; in first nourishing [Page 74] them well, providing all needful things for life, and health, Math. 7.9, 19. Gen. 37.3. Zech. 8.5. Joh. 4.47. 2. Nurturing them with good manners, Prov. 22.6. Levit. 19.32. Prov. 25.6. Luk. 14.8. and in some honest Calling, Gan. 4.2. and 37.12. Exod. 2.16, &c.
2. At their spiritual good; in admonition of the Lord, Deut. 4.9. Gen. 18.19. Prov. 4.4. 2 Tim. 1.5. In reading the word, 2 Tim. 3.15. Catechising, Deut. 6.7. and by an exemplary life, Josh. 22.15.
Q. what are the meanes of Nurture?
A. 1. Frequent admonition, to fasten their instructions, Deut. 6.7. wheting them.
2. Correction; both in words of reproofe, Prov. 6. [Page 75] 23. and 15.32. and in stripes if needful, Prov. 22.15. and 23.13, 14.
Q. What duties do Parents owe to children at riper age, past childhood?
A. 1. Provision of fit callings, as afore.
2. Provision of fit matches in marriage; as Abraham, and Isacc did for theirs; both which require, preparation of a Stock and Portion.
Q. What are the duties of Parents at the time of their death?
A. 1. Good counsel, precepts, directions, as Isaac and Jacob did.
2. Faithful prayers, and blessings of them, commending them into the hands of God.
3. Commending them to some faithful friend to [Page 76] oversee them, and supply their losse, Esth. 2.15.
4. To settle their estate by Will, to prevent divisions amongst children. Isa. 38.1.
Q. Are there not some besides natural Parents, that owe duty to children?
A. Yes, those that are in stead of Parents which are (as afore) fathers or mothers in Law, guardians, and tutors or scoolmasters.
Q. What duties do fathers and mothers in Law owe to children
A. The same for the most part, that natural Parents owe to them, Luk. 2.48. Exod. 18.1 Ruth 3.1.
Q. What reason is there for this?
A. 1. Marriage making man and wife one flesh, they ought to love each others children, as part of themselves.
[Page 77]2. It's a signe of entire love to each other; Love me, and love my childe, &c.
3. It's a special means to preserve love betwixt them.
Q. What duties do Guardians owe to the children entrusted with them?
A. The same (some few excepted) that natural Parents owe them, Esth. 2 7, 11, 20, 22. and 4.13. 1 Tim. 5.8.
Q. What are the special duties?
A. 1. To look carefully to their education.
2. To preserve their patrimony, &c.
Q. What is the duty of Tutors, &c?
A. 1. To instruct them well in Piety or Religion. 2. In learning. 3. In good manners.
Chapter 3. The Duties of Servants to their Masters.
Servants obey in all things your Masters according to the flesh, not with eye-service, &c
Q. WHat are the particulars of these Texts?
A. Four. 1. The kindes of their duties.
2. The manner. 3. The extent. 4. the motives.
Q. What are the kindes of servants duties?
A. Two. Inward and outward.
Q. What are the inward?
A. 1. In judgement, to [Page 79] he perswaded of their Masters Superiority over them.
2. In a special aff [...]ction of feare, not a slavish, but reverential feare, counting them worthy of all honour, Mal. 1.6. Eph. 6.5. 1 Pet. 2.18.
Q. What are their outward duties?
A. Two. Reverence, and Obedience.
Q. Wherein appeares their Reverence?
A. 1. In speech; 2. In their carriage.
Q. How in their speech?
A. 1. In forbearing to speak in their presence, attending to what they say.
2. In ordering their speech aright, when they do speak; where their words must be. 1. Reverent, giving their titles, Lord, Master, &c. 2. Few. 3. Meek and humble. [Page 80] 4. Seasonable, Mark 4.10. 5 Ready to answer, Job 19.16. 6 True without lying. 7. Good of them in absence; as contrarily, Ziba of his Master, 2 Sam. 16.3.
Q How in their carriage?
A. 1. By obeysance. 2. Standing before them. 3. Heads uncovered. 4. Sober and modest countenance. 5. Modesty of apparel, sutable to their estate and place.
Q. What are the parts of their obedience?
A. 1. Negative or passive, to forbear what is forbidden or denied them: as 1. Not to goe when and whether they list. 2. Nor doe their own, but their Masters businesse. 3. Nor dispose of their goods, without leave, Prov. 31.15. Exod. 21.4. 4. Nor marry without their consent. 5. [Page 81] Nor goe away before their time expired.
2. Affirmative, or Active; and that expressed. 1. In doing their commands, Luke 17.7, 8. 2. In hearkning to their instructions, both Religious and Civil.
3 By patient bearing their reproofes, or corrections, 1 Pet. 2.18. though unjust, Tit. 2.9. with speedy amendment, Prov 27.22.
Q. In what manner must all their duties be performed?
A. 1. In singlenesse of heart, Col. 3.22. and heartily, v. 23. or from the heart not with eye-service, or as men-pleasers; as Geheri, &c.
2. In conscience, as fearing God, as unto Christ; as serving the Lord Christ, Eph. 6.
3. With good will, [Page 82] which implyes four things. 1. Cheerfulnesse. 2. Quicknesse, or readinesse. 3. Diligence and activenesse in it. 4. Faithfulnesse, 1 Cor. 4.1. Tit. 2.10. In respect of,
1. Their Masters goods, both in keeping them, as Jacob, and increasing them, as they that had the Tallents: contra. Tit. 2.20.
2. Their businesses, dispatching them well, as Gen. 24.2, 12, 26, 33.56.
3. Their secrets, especially their infirmities, by concealing them, Jerem. 38.27.
4. Good example to their fellowes; to make them faithful, diligent, &c. contra. Math. 24.48, 49.
5. Loving and careful of their children, to procure their good, of soul and body.
Q. What is the extent of their obedience?
A. In all things; that is, in all lawful things, in the Lord: to bring their judgement to their Masters in all indifferent things: For which end, let them chuse to serve Religious Masters.
Q. What are the motives used to perswade servants to doe their duties?
A. 1. The place of a Master; he stands in Christs stead; and so Christ is served or neglected in him.
2. The honour of their own place, and condition; they are Christs servants, and freemen, 1. Cor. 7.22
3. The Recompence of their service from God, Col. 3.24.
Q. What is that Recompence?
A. Reward or punishment.
Q. What reward is promised to them?
A. 1. Temporal, many blessings. First from their Masters, as Joseph, Mordecai, &c. 2. From strangers that behold their good service. 3. He will bless their labours when they come to deal for themselves: Gen. 43.23. as he did Jacob. 4. And give them such good servants as they have been.
2. Eternal; of the Lord receive the reward of inheritance with their Masters, verse 24.
Q. What punishment is threatned?
A. The contrary to the Reward; Temporal, sending them hard Masters, or bad servants, when they are Masters: or curse their labours: And eternal, v. 25. He that doth wrong, shall [Page 85] receive for the wrong he hath done.
Q. Are there any other motives?
A. Yes: 1. If their Masters reward them not, God will: if they wrong them, God will right them, upon their Masters. He that doth wrong (though a Master) shall receive for the wrong he hath done. No respect of persons with God.
2. By being good servants, they shall be fitted to make good Masters.
3. And prove themselves good servants to God, and truly gracious, Tit. 2.10, 11. and adorne the Gospel and Religion.
Chapter 4. The Duties of Masters to their Servants.
Masters, do ye the same things to them, forbearing threatning; knowing that your Master also is in heaven,
Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equal, knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven.
Q. WHat are the parts of these Texts?
A. Two. 1. The duties in general, Justice and Equity. 2. The reason; knowing that ye have a Master in heaven.
Q. What duties concern Masters?
A. 1. Care in chusing good servants, as Psal. 101. at large; especially godly and religious.
2. Conscience in using them well.
Q. Wherein doth this last consist?
A. 1. In a wise maintaining their authority, as the authority of God.
2. In a right managing of it.
Q. How may they maintaine wisely their Authority?
A. 1. By a good example and worthy carriage, Josh. 24.15. Psalm. 101.1, 2.
2. By an awful carriage, that servants may stand in fear of them.
3. By keeping a distance from them; least familiarity breed contempt, Prov. 30.22. & 29.21.
Q. What is the extent of their Authority?
A. 1. In their commands; restrained to the Laws of God: and exercised in execution of Gods commands: as Abraham, Gen. 19.
Levit. 25.43.2. In their corrections, which must be moderate, and discreet; in consideration of the age, sexe, fault of the person, &c.
Q. How may they manage rightly, their Authority?
A. By Justice and Equity; as the Text.
Q. What doth Justice respect?
A. 1. The souls of their servants, in their edification and salvation, Josh. 24.15. to serve the Lord; by teaching them Principles of Religion, bringing to publick worship; calling them to account, and praying [Page 89] with them, and for them, Jer. 10.25.
2. Their bodies, cherishing them with wholsome food, fit apparel, Pro. 31.21. Deut. 5.14. moderate labour, convenient rest, vales; and in sicknesse, physick needful, Matth. 8 6.
3. Their estate, that they may have a calling, and that they may live of themselves, Gen. 30.30.
Q. What doth Equity require of them?
A. 1. A good esteem of them, not as slaves, but as children rather, 2 Kin. 5.13. 1 Cor. 7.22.
2. Taking notice of their goodnesse, with approbation and kind acceptance: Matth. 25.21. Rom. 13.3. well done good servant.
3. Rewarding the good, when goe away, as Deut. 15.13.
Q. What motives are there [Page 90] to enforce these duties upon them?
A. 1. They have a Master over them; and this will be a spure to incite them to their duty, and a curb to do no wrong to them; because he takes notice of both.
2. Their Equality, in regard of God; ye (also) have a Master; and so fellow-servants, Math. 24 49.
3. In heaven, servants are admitted there; no respect of persons with God; And yet there is far greater distance between God and them, than betwen them and their servants.
Chapter. 5. Of Marriage in general.
Marriage is honourable among all, &c.
Q. WHerein appears the honour of Marriage?
A. 1. In the Author, God himselfe.
2. In the place, Paradise. Gen. 2.18, 21. &c.
3. In the time, in Innocency.
4. In the persons, the first Parents of all.
5. In the manner, consultation, &c.
Q. What are required to Marriage?
A. 1. A right conjunction, of man and woman.
2. The common and [Page 92] mutual duties, which concern them both alike.
3. The particular duties of each party.
Q. Who are accounted Husband and Wife?
A. They who are rightly joyned together in marriage, and of two made one flesh.
Q. Who are parties fit to marry?
A. They who having ripnesse of years, and wisdom to chuse; no way made impotent to marriage duties, 1 Cor. 7.36.
Q. Who are to be accounted impotent?
A. Born, or made Eunuchs by any occasion, Mat. 19.12. or dangerously diseased.
Q. May all sorts of person (but such) marry?
A. Yes, all, Heb. 13.4. [Page 93] 1 Tim. 4.1, 3. as the disease of Concupiscence is common to all, 1 Cor. 7.2, 9.
Q. In choice of a person, what is required?
A. Choice of a fit helper, Gen. 2.18.
Q. What makes a fit helper?
A. 1. One not within the degrees of consanguinity, or affinity prohibited.
2. Equality, in Age, Condition, Estate, and Piety, Luk. 1.6.
Q. How may a godly person be known?
A. 1. By their religious education, and their answerable walking.
2. By the report and fame with the good.
3. By the lookes, if modest and chast, &c.
4. By the speech, if sparing and humble.
[Page 49]5. By the Apparel, 1 Pet. 3.
6. By the Companions: like will to like.
Q. After what manner are fit persons to be joyned together?
A. 1. By a mutual liking of each other, Gen, 24.58.
2. By an actual contract, Gen. 19.14, 18. Luk. 1.27. a promise of marriage in due time.
3. By a publick solemnization of the marriage.
Q. What are the ends of marriage?
A. 1. To be fit helpers one of another.
2. Propagation of an holy posterity.
3. To avoid fornication, 1 Cor. 7.2.
Q. What are those mutual and comm [...]n duties, concerning [Page 95] both parties alike?
A. 1. Such as concern them between themselves. 2. Joyntly with respect to others.
Q. What are the duties that concern them between themselves?
A. 1. Such as respect the very being of marriage. 2. Or such as respect the well being of it.
Q. What are those mutual duties to one another, which resp [...]ct the being of marriage?
A. 1. Matrimonial unity, accounting one another to be one fl [...]sh; and that without desertion of one another, except in case of Death, or Adultery, Math. 1. Cor. 7.10, 11. &c.
2. Matrimonial chastity, or faithfulnesse in the Covenant of marriage, Mal. 2.14, 15. Tit. 2.5.
Q. What reasons are there for this chastity?
A. 1 Its one end of marriage, 1 Cor. 7.2.
2 It preserves an holy posterity, Mal. 2.15.
3 Its the honour of marriage, Heb. 13.4.
Q. What is the best remedy against unchastity?
A. The rendering mutually to each other due benevolence, 1 Cor. 7.3, 4, &c.
Q. What are those mutual duties which tend to the well being of marriage?
A. 1 Mutual love, or entire affection one towards another Epp. 5. last. Tit. 2.4. 1 Cor. 16.14. This is the ground of all their duties
2 Mutual concord and. peace, by unity of minds, Eph. 4.3. avoiding contentions, Pro. 21.9.
Q. What are the best meanes to preserve love and peace between them?
A. 1. All offences must be carefuly prevented.
2. If given by one, not taken by the other, forbearing one another, Eph. 4.2. and forgiving, v. 32.
3. Beware of jealousie, or occasions of it.
4. Study to please one another, 1 Cor. 7.33, 34.
Q. What other common duties concern both?
A. In general a provident care for one anothers good.
Q. What are the means to promote that care?
A. 1. Cohabitation, or dwelling together, forsaking all others, Psal. 45.10. 1 Cor. 7.12. 1 Pet. 3.7.
2. Prayers, not onely singly for one another, but [Page 98] joyntly with one another, or together.
Q. What must they pray for together?
A. 1. That they may be one spirit as one flesh.
2. That this Ordiance may be sanctified to them.
3. That (if God please) they may have children, comely, wise, gracious and heires of salvation.
4. A competency to bring them up.
5. For graces, wanting or weak in themselves.
Q. What good must they promote in each other?
A. 1. Of their soules, 1 Cor. 7.16. 1 Pet. 3.1, 7: both for conversion and edification; and if fallen, restoring one another, 1 Thes. 5.11. Levit. 19.17.
2. Of their bodies, in health and in sicknesse, as [Page 99] mutual helpers, Gen. 27.14.
3. Of their good name, Matth. 1.19. Prov. 22.1. both preserving it, and preventing ill reports.
4. Of their goods or estate, Prov 31 12.
Q. What common duties concern them in regard of others?
A. They respect the Family, or others.
Q. What concerns them joyntly to the Family?
A. A joynt government of it, each to be helpful in overseeing the children, servants, and affairs thereof: The Husband chiefly without doors, the Wife within, 1 Tim. 5.14. Prov. 31.11. &c.
Q. What Duties respect both, in regard of strangers?
A. 1. An hospitable intertainment, Gen. 18.6, 7. &c.
[Page 100]2. Relieving the poor, Nehem. 8.10. Prov. 31.20.
Thus farre the duties common to both; the particular duties of each party follow.
Chapter 6. The Duties of Wives to their Husbands.
Wives, submit your selves unto your own Husbands, as it is fit, in the Lord.
Q. WHat are the parts of this Text?
A. Three. 1. Their subjection commanded, wives submit your selves to your husbands. 2. The motive [Page 101] or reason of it, As it is fit.
3 The rule or direction, in the Lord.
Q. Why doth the Apostle begin first with Husbands and Wives?
A. 1 B [...]cause man and wife were the first couple in the World; before there were Parents and children, or Masters and servants.
2 Because they are the chiefe of the Family, and rule of all the rest; if they be not good husband and wife, they will never be good Parents, nor good Masters.
3 Because, if they neglect their duties to each other, nothing goes well in the family; the rest will be naught by their example.
Q. Why doth the Apostle in every Relation, begin first with the Inferiour?
A. 1. Because inferiours are most unwilling to undergoe their burdens.
2. To obey well, is the best way to learn to rule well: They prove best Superiours, that are best Inferiours.
3. It's most for their own ease; because, as they are weakest, so like to feele the smart of it. Due obedience will move Superiours to be kinde to them.
Q. Why amongst Inferiours, doth he first begin with Wives?
A. 1. To shew the wives inferiority to her husbands, as children to Parents, &c.
2. Wives were the first on whom subjection wa [...] laid, as instrumental to sin.
3. The wives example, if good, is very prevolent to [Page 103] the rest to do their duties.
4. They most unwilling to yeeld subjection, by reason of the little distance from, and nearer Union with their Husbands.
Q. What is the maine duty of the Wife?
A. Subjection, or submission to her husband, Gen. 3.16.
Q. Wherein doth that subjection consist?
A. In these two things. 1. An acknowledgement of his Superiority over her. 2. In her respect to him, as her Superiour.
Q. How doth it appear that her Husband is her Superiour?
A. 1. God hath given it to him, Gen. 3.16.
2. Nature teaches it, in the weakenesse of all Females, 1 Pet. 3.7 The weaker vessel. and so inferiour to the Males.
[Page 104]3. His Titles imply superiority, as Lord, 1 Pet. 3.6. Guide, Prov. 2.17. Head, 1 Cor. 11.3.
4. He represents Christ, she the Church, Eph. 5.23.
5. Woman was made for the Man, not the Man for the Woman, Gen. 2.18. 1 Cor. 11.8, 9.
Q. What reason is there of this acknowledgment?
A. Because this is the ground of all true subjection, and obedience, as to the Ordinance of God.
Q. Wherein stands her respect to him?
A. In two things, Reverence, and Obedience.
Q. What is her reverence to him?
A. Inward, or outward.
Q. What is her inward Reverence?
A. An high esteeme of [Page 105] him, for his place sake, as her Lord and Head, by the Ordinance of God; which is called feare, 1 Pet. 3.2. and Reverence, Eph. 5. last, a reverential feare.
Q. Whereby is that feare manifested?
A. 1 By her care to please him, 1 Cor. 7.34.
2 By her joy in pleasing him, Pro. 31.12.
3 By her grief in offending him.
Q. Whereby is her outward fear or reverence discovered?
A. By her behaviour and speech.
Q. What must her behaviour to him be?
A. 1 With gravity, in a sober carriage, 1 Tim. 3.11.
2 Meeknesse, or mildness in a cleare and amiable countenance.
3 Courtesie, on all occasions.
[Page 106]4. Modesty in Apparrel, fitting for his estate and place.
Q. How must she order her speech?
A. She must order it aright, both in his presence, and absence.
How in his presence?
A. 1. Her words must be few, Contrary, Pro. 7.19. rather with silence, than much talking, 1 Tim. 2.12.
2. Reverent, giving him his due Titles, of Lord, or Husband, 1 Pet. 3.6.
3. Meek, from a quiet spirit, 1 Pet. 3.4. 2 Kin. 4.10, 22.
Q. How in his absence?
A. Speaking of him with all due respect, as her Superiour, Gen. 18.1 [...].
Q. Wherein consists her obedience?
A. It is either Passive or Active.
Q. Whereby is her Passive obedience manifested?
A. In forbearing to dispose of the affairs of the family against his minde, or without his consent, Gen. 16.5, 6. and 21.10. and 2 Kin. 4.10, 22.
Q. May the Wife do nothing without his consent?
A. Yes in three cases.
1. In case of Impotency, as when he is sick, or distracted, &c.
2. Of impossibility, when far absent.
3. Of allowance, manifested two wayes.
1. Generally by resignation of all to her, Prov. 31.10, 11.
2. Particularly, in some things, expresly, or by silence and connivence.
Q. How doth this appear her duty?
A. 1 by that Law, Gen. 3.16.
2 By example of the good Shunamite, 2 Kings 4.9.
3 From an Husbands power, to make void her vowes, Num. 30.7, 13.
Q. Wherein consists her Active obedience?
A. In obeying his commands, and bearing his reproofes.
Q. Wherein appears her obedience to his commands?
A. 1 In cohabitation, following him whether God by his providence calls him, Gen. 31.16. 1 Cor. 4.5. 1 Pet. 3.7.
2 Coming to him when sent for, as Jacobs wives did, Gen. 31.4. contra. Esth. 1.17.
3 Doing what is required of her, as Sarah, Gen. 18.6. and Jeroboams [Page 109] wife, 1 Kings 14 2.
Q. How must she beare his Reproofes?
A. 1 If unjust, yet with patience.
2 If just, though sharp, with meeknesse, Gen. 33.1.
3 With readinesse to amend what was done amisse, Gen. 35.2, 4.
Q. What reason gives the Apostle to enforce these duties?
A. Because it is fit to do so.
Q, What meanes that fitnesse?
A. 1 Decency, or comlinesse; So it is her honour.
2. Equity, as agreeable to the Law of God, of Nature, and to the Gospel.
Q. What meanes those words, In the Lord?
A. It implyes, 1. A limitation. 2. A direction. And 3. A motive.
Q. What is the limitation?
A. A Wife must submit and obey, but in the Lord; that is, in lawful things.
Q. What is the Direction?
A. To do all her duties to her Husband, with an eye to the Lord, as unto Christ, Eph. 5.22.
Q. How is it a Motive?
A. 1. In doing her duty to her husband, she does it to Christ; and he takes it so.
2. In refusing or neglecting it to him, she does the same to Christ.
Chapter 7. The Duties of Husbands to their Wives.
Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Q. WHat are the parts of this Text?
A. Two. 1. The Duty of an husband, To love his wife. 2. The manner of performance, with mildnesse; expressed by forbidding the contrary: and be not bitter to them.
Q. Why doth the Apostle comprehend the whole duty of the husband in love? Eph. 5.25, 28, 33.
A. 1. Otherwise no duty can be well performed, from one to another, 1 Cor. 16.14.
[Page 112]2 The Wife is the chiefest object of love, above friends, ch [...]de, parents; must leave all for her (as she all for him) therefore must love her most, Deut. 13.6. wife or his bosome.
3 Least his Superiority and Authority over her should degenerate into Tyranny,
4 She the weaker Sexe, and apt to offend; but love will cover all.
5 To provoke her to love him, because he first loves her, as Christ the Church.
Q. What particular duties of the Husband do proceed from Love.
1 Pet. 3.7. According to knowledge. A. Two. 1. A wife maintaining of his Authority. 2. A right managing of the same.
Q. Why must an Husband [Page 113] maintaine his Authority?
A. 1. This maintaines Gods and Christs Authority, who entrust him with it.
2. This most promotes the good of his wife, and the whole family.
Q. How may he maintaine his authority?
A. By being an example to them in Love, Gravity, Piety, Honesty; which cause a reverent respect, in Wife and Family, 1 Tim. 4.2.
Q. How is this authority to be managed?
A. 1. By a tender respect of her.
2. By a provident care for her.
Q. What is that tender respect of her?
A. It is either inward or outward.
Q. Wherein consists his inward respect?
A. 1. In regard of his Opinion of her.
2. In regard of his affection to her.
Q. What opinion must he have of her?
A. 1. In regard of her place, 1 Pet. 3.7. Giving honour to her. he must esteeme her (not as a servant, but) as his yoke-fellow and companion, a little lower then himselfe, as neerest to equality.
2. In regard of her person, so he must esteeme his own wife fittest and best for him, as provided by God, Prov. 19.14. and 18.22.
Q. What affection must he bear to her?
A. It must be with the greatest delight in her; as the delight of his eyes, as, Ezek. 24.19. ravisht (modestly with her love, Prov. 5.18, 19.
Q. Wherein appears his outward respect?
A. 1. In avoiding offences to her.
2. In wisely ordering her offences to him.
Q. How may he avoid offences to her?
A. 1. In taking her duty tendered to him.
2. In tendering his own to her.
Q. What is to be done in taking hers?
A. 1. A kind acceptation of it, as Abraham did Sarahs, Gen. 21.8. 1 Sam. 1.23.
2. Commending and rewarding her for it, as Prov. 31.28, 31. Esth. 5.3. 1 Kin. 1.28, &c.
Q. How must he tender his duty to her, to avoid offences?
A. In mildnesse, a special fruit of love; which the Apostle [Page 116] intends in these words, Be not bitter to them: which is expressed.
1 In his speeches; whether giving her Titles, as Wife, Love, &c. or instrutions, commands, or reproofes, all with meeknesse, Gal. 6.1. Prov. 25.15.
2 In his countenance, which must be amiable and pleasing.
3 In his gestures, with a kind of (modest) familiarity; as Isaac to Rebecca, Gen. 26.8.
4 In his Actions, by favours and gifts, as 1 Sam. 1.4, 5. Elkanah did to his.
Q. What is required in ordering her offences to him?
A. To pass [...] them by with meekenesse, and patiently to bear with her weaknesse, P [...]ov. 19.11. 1 Pet. 3 7.
Q. Wherein appears his [Page 117] provident care for her?
A. 1. In providing things needful for her, as her Head, 1 Sam. 1.3, 4, 7. and 2.19. both for her soul, in priva [...]e and publick meanes of her edification; and also for her body, both in health and sicknesse, especially in the time of child-bearing; and this not onely in his life time, but after death, 1 Kin. 1.21. setling a comfortable and suitable maintenance on her.
2. In protecting her from danger, in her person and name, 1 Sam. 27.3. and 30.18.
Q. What motives have Husbands to love their Wives, and do all these duties to them.
A. Beside the command of God, these two.
1. The example of Christ in loving his Church, (and therein themselves, if godly) [Page 118] Eph. 5.25. Now Christ loveth first. 1 Joh. 4.19. Indeed and in truth, giving himselfe for it, Eph. 5.26. Freely. Deut. 7.7, 8. Purely, to sanctifie it. v. 27. Constantly, Joh. 13.1. Hos. 2.19. so may they.
2. The example of ones selfe, Eph. 5.28, 29 A wife is himselfe; they are one flesh.