Vercingetorixa: OR, The GERMANE PRINCESS Reduc'd to An English Habit.
By F. B. Gent.
Why
Vercingetorix we give
Ʋnto this Book for Name,
Know,
German Princess doth derive
As
By-blow from the same.
LONDON: Printed in the Year MDCLXIII.
To his good Friend Mr. F. B. Upon his Germane Princess.
IN Stories new, and Stories old,
Many Romances have been told:
One sings the Fame of
Cleopatra,
Cassandra,
or of Biles atra
Writes Satyrs, while in humour jolly
Another chants the praise of Folly.
Well sure they did, in mine opinion,
Each to his Muse to chuse a Minion:
But thou hast such a Subject got,
As time fore-going shew could not:
A Princess in a strange Disguise,
That leads the world with such surprize,
That Story of her with desire
Has been expected Horse to hire.
And since 'tis done, no more we'll say,
Our Thanks shall all thy Labour pay;
Acknowledging all former Tricks-a
Surpass't by
Vercingetorixa.
T. M.
J. C. to the Author.
NOw that an Exile I am made,
And am eclips'd as Moon in shade,
Whilst Pamphleters my Case do cry,
Pray, Sir, will you the Princess buy?
With her kind Husband, Man of Might,
Who's neither now a Lord nor Knight,
But is the same as heretofore,
When bound to Post of Scriveners Door;
And so in Ryme the Wits do cry me,
Whilst I do weep sans Princess by me;
And now as wandring Knight am bound
To ambulate the vast Globe round;
Whilst you 'mongst all have done the right
To me
J. C. no Lord nor night.
And now to you I send my thanks,
All that is left of Dowre in Banks,
For making Verse to speak true Story.
Of me when in my hopes and glory.
J. C.
Dean Dunstable in laudem Authoris.
PRaise thee I would, as Worth requires,
And offer Wood to make great Fires,
[Page] For joy that Dame is out of
Newgate,
And is in Codpiece put by New-mate.
In Rime I never could do good,
Ʋnless of that like
Robbin Hood,
Or
Hopkins and his Neighbor
Sternhold,
Chaunted by me in getting Tayl-hold.
With Hat in hand I render thanks
For bringing in my
May-pole Shanks:
For I in Pye had reading Finger,
But lost conjunction by their Linger;
And closing Mouth lay snug in House,
Watching for Jobb as Cat for Mouse.
But I have done, thy Wit shall fly
In and beyond my Deanery;
Never forgetting how Tale-Priest
Did humbly bow, and Garment kist.
W. S. Dean Dunstable, à Deska Capellanus.
Skydder a Brawle, to the Author.
AS
Phoenix pearcht in spicie Nest,
Perfuming thee to be burnt Brest;
Expecting when bright
Sol will burn
The Bird, and her to Ashes turn:
[Page] So I expected have thy Rimes,
To satisfie the longing Times
And my Desires: thy Book shall lie
Pil'd up with my Welch Poetry;
And fame of Princess, Harp shall sing,
Plaid by
Ap-Rise on Cats-Gut string,
To British Bards, my self being one
That shall the fate of Princess moan:
And now I thank thy painful Pen
For bringing Princess into Ken.
But when at large, my Rimes shall run
As swift as Horses of the Sun,
Or Goat on Mountain grazing hie,
Well coucht in
Skydders Poetry.
The Martial Doctor to the Author.
YOu that have done the Lady right
In Story true of City-Knight,
VVho now is vanisht as the dust
Of Coffee made of burnt-bread-crust,
VVho like
Gonzales with his Ganders,
Or
Thomas Coreat now he wanders
VVith thred-bare Cloak on the
Ryalta,
Like to the Gadding Jew of
Malta;
Or like St.
Hugh with's Bones at's back,
And Tinker with his Trull and Pack,
[Page] Lamenting much his fact mishap,
And Lady-Princess unkind Clap:
Or whether he with anger blushing
Be gone to meet his Wealth at
Flushing,
VVe'll not dispute, but let it pass,
VVhether he be transform'd to Ass;
And onely speak of thy rare worth,
Which taketh pains for to set forth
(Since scribling Pens have kept a pother,
By telling Lyes all Truth to smother)
The Story whole, and dost indite
VVith Fancie nimbler then
Joe Wright,
Your VVit being just of the same stander
VVith his that droll'd at young
Leander;
And much I fear will spoile our Physick,
Since thou alone canst cure the Tissick,
With Rimes that cause in us such laughter,
'Twill break Impostures
sine plaster;
And with the mirth of thy sweet Quill,
Dost quite undoe both Purge and Pill.
Then courage, Friend, and do not sneak
And fear what men of thee do speak:
But let those Scoffers who do spite
Thy jolly Muse, themselves go write;
Which being compar'd, the world must then
Allow thine far the brisker Pen.
To my worthy Friend the Author upon his GERMANE PRINCESS.
ONce a great Work-man by his cunning Art
Did shape an Image like t' a broke his heart,
Had not Dame
Juno gratifi'd his skill
In making it a woman to his will.
Another painted Grapes so to the life,
That it put all the Birds into a strife
VVho first should taste of them. But to speak all,
Thy Pen has given their Pencil a fair fall;
And meerly with two colours, white and black,
Hast laid their
Pallas flat upon her back.
All which I apprehend now from thy Muse,
Is that she should through all the world infuse
Such a belief, that thou art the Contriver
Of all this
Plot. I durst lay a whole Stiver
It will be said, The
Princess did but Act,
And that thou wert the Author of the Fact;
Since thou hast limn'd so to the life this Dame,
Whoere doth see this draught must needs proclaim
Of all men none could come so near the matter
As thou hast done. You know I cannot flatter,
And thus conclude, There's nothing wanting there
But her false Dialect,
Yaw, yaw, min here.
P. B.
VERCINGETORIXA: OR, The Germane Princess reduced to an English Habit.
NOw every one hath verdict spent
On Princess in the
Gate-house pent,
And Scriveners Boy (pretending
Templar)
A
Book hath writ very exemplar,
Which he doth stile
Vindicative,
And strives his Folly to retrive;
Rails against Wives, Cheats, Wits and Arts,
Bawds, Pimps, Trepans, & Whores in Carts,
When in good sooth by
Venus Glass,
Before espous'd one clapt her—
And that he knew; (
but Love is blind)
And Princess would not out of mind.
But hold (
Sir Prologue) now let's enter,
And speak of Story true th' Adventure.
[Page 2] When time was come that scribling Cit
Must walk abroad to try his Wit
Amongst
Peripateticke Ladies,
And kiss his hand to
Cheapside Babies,
His Cloaths were brusht, Cloak laid in print,
And off was cleanly rubb'd the Lint:
His Joynts were Oyl'd as if for Match,
And on his Cheeks was sable Patch;
A Mark to know his Lordship by:
His Shooes were of the
Gresham Dye.
So goes to Friend,
Who made a good Bargain, had he received the benefit.
and in a word,Doth quickly borrow
Silver Sword;
And when put on, pray tell who can
Where he or it was proper man.
B'ing thus Accoutred, out he goes
In places clean, keeps durt from Toes;
And over Shoulders looks to see
Who eyes his City-Gravity:
At last unto the Exchange-Tavern,
Where Sack is kept in a dark Cavern,
The Youth comes in, and calls the Skinker
To shew a Room to good Sack-drinker.
But as on Dunghil Cock doth strut,
And proudly throws with Heels up Dirt;
So doth he walk with
Yeomans grace,
Or
Poultry-Sergeant carrying Mace,
[Page 3] Till out of Window he was spide
By
One, that after was his
Bride.
It was a Princess in disguise,
With am'rous Looks and piercing Eyes,
That lay there secret and most sullen,
And lately had escap'd from
Cullen:
As rich as
Croesus, and as fair
As any well-drest
Flanders Mare,
And was to
England come to wed
A City-Chick of the
first Head,
Because she would no longer tarry,
And
Germane Lord consent to marry:
But as bright
Cynthia with
Endymion
In Love did burn and weep with Onyon;
Or
Cupid with his Golden Dart
Venus wounded to the heart,
The Princess down in
France did fall,
And in Teutonick 'gan to yall.
Th' Alarm given, the Servants straight
Upon the Princess 'gan to wait;
And Lady Vintner did advance
To bring the Princess out of
France.
But opening of her Eyes, she cride
For Youth she out of Window spide;
And said, That now her Fate was done,
And straight into strange Passions run.
The Chamber then was clear'd of all,
And Mistress ow'd as General:
In private then they did converse,
And Mistress pray'd
Her to rehearse
The' occasion of her sudden change,
And noise which reach'd to the Exchange.
With doleful Looks and weeping Eyes,
Half utter'd Words, and quaking Thighs,
She told her that in
Germany
A man well read in things o'th' Sky,
(As
British Merlin, Doctor
Faustus,
Or
Lilly, Trigge or
John Acostus)
Her Fate had told, that she should Wed
With English Youth, and with him Bed;
And in a Glass shew'd her by face
Him that her Highness Love should grace.
The same she out of Window saw
Before she fell. At this the Maw
Of Vintners Wife began to rise,
Bidding her Highness wipe her Eyes,
And be content; for she would bring
The Gallant up her Offering.
With that she went unto the Lad,
Who sate alone in Room most sad,
Thinking and chewing the Adventer,
At last
Barre-Lady she did enter.
[Page 5] Sir Knight, quoth she, pray cheer thy looks,
And mope no more like Don on Books;
But be as high as
Lord or
Yeomen,
And now begin to study Women:
For lovely Looks and gentle Grace,
Hath deeply wounded Princess face:
(I mean a Lady bred full high,
That hath escap'd from
Germany)
And hither's come to lie in private,
And is resolved you to drive at:
For she was told by wise Magician,
(Well read in Arts, and great Physitian)
That little man with chitty face
Her Highness should in Wedlock grace;
And
You are
He, as she doth say,
That to the Church must lead the way.
Jewels she hath, as Sanguine Ruby,
Onyx and Saphire with a blew dye;
Diamond and Topaz, with the Opal,
Emerald and Agate, Turquez: take all:
What shall I say? Sh'ath Gems in plenty:
Pray enter on her; Room is empty.
As Peacock in a Summer-day
Doth swell and brustle in his Gay
And painted Dress, and picks his Plumes,
But looking on his Feet he fumes;
[Page 6] So Gentle Sir arose from's Stool,
And look'd as wise as
Tom the Fool;
And having set his Wig in print,
Careen'd his Cloak, and given hint
To Damsel for some Water clear
For Face and Hands, and hinde his Ear:
On Shooes Cole-black he cast his Eye;
But when the Dirt he did espy,
And saw the gloss of's shoon be dirted,
Good God! how's Worship fum'd & snorted,
And rav'd gainst Mayors, Cities Shreeve,
The Scavenger and under-Reeve,
For keeping Streets in such a pickle,
Enough to hinder Conventicle.
But Maid with Dish-clout thither came,
And wip'd his Shooes; so ended blame.
Have you behold the graver Fry
When to a Dinner they do hie?
How formally they walk at leasure,
And very tenderly keep measure?
When but for shame with Zealous Tears
They'd fly about the Custards Ears,
And out of order put the Feast,
Like Knavish Boy on skittish Beast:
So walk'd our Spark in steps upright,
While Lady-Mistress usher'd Light:
[Page 7] But by the rowl of's greedy Eye,
He long'd for Principality.
When Feet into the Room he put,
A Leg he made to Princess Scut;
And kneeling on his bended Knee,
The Tears did fall like drops from Tree,
And said, What's, Lady, your Behest
To Servant newly come from Desk?
Say, gentle Dame, for by St.
Jervase
My Pen and Ink shall do you service:
For I can write in Prose and Verse,
And can your Creatness well rehearse;
And have
fans help of VVrit or Patrin,
Acquir'd some ends of broken Latin,
And this by study very hardy;
And now believe I am not tardy.
Your Highness I desire to tell me,
Whether good fortune hath befel me;
And whether
Observe he was well acquainted with
Ignoramus.
Dull-man here on KneeShall of your Grace be seiz'd in Fee.
The words this Wight had scarcely sed,
When She in's Bosome threw her Head,
And bid the weeping Lover rise,
And with her Clout to wipe his Eyes.
Then up he stood tall as
Bevis,
Or little Dwarf drest up for
Mevis;
[Page 8] And did a wait Reply of Princess
While Heart in Belly kicks and winces;
Quoth She—
Sweet
Ganymede, for 'twixt you there's no odds,
Thou'rt fit to carry Trenchers to the Gods,
And sit in
Juno's Lap like Child in Cradle,
Or be a Groom to
Phoebus horse in Stable:
From forreign soyle I come, crept out of Cloyster,
And thee have found like Orient Pearl in Oyster.
Do but consent, this Gem I mean to put
Into my Heart, like Pudding made in Gut:
For Lands or Livings, or Bags full of Mony,
Or Warrens stor'd with Cole-black Coney;
Or Coach that rattles in the street,
VVith set of Horses very meet,
I ask thee not, or test by Letter
Of Pounds laid into City-Checquer;
Or where thy moping doting Grandame
VVill leave thee Bags to spend at randame;
Or whether father purging Amber
Hath Bags pil'd up in Money-chamber:
Of these no wants I have, my DEAR,
For I have thousands by the year,
[Page 9] Which thou shalt spend, by old King
Harry,
If Princess thou'lt consent to marry.
Just like the City-Excrementer,
(The Office-Emptier to the Venter)
When long Pole in the house he puts,
And fathoms not; Oh how he struts,
Reck'ning the Quantity and Gain
To be convey'd in Carts, not Wain:
So greedy Knight when Tale had heard,
He lick'd his Lips, and wip'd
Or place where he would have had one.
his Beard;And having blest his happy Fate
That brought him such a vast Estate,
Beyond the reach of City-wit,
Or learned Body Politick,
Like Statue made in Ginger-bread,
He neither mov'd his Corpse or Head;
But stood like Bull bedight in Fair,
Or Monkey set up in a Chair:
And after pause, and pause was fit,
He fumbl'd out his School-Boy wit;
And in a stile most humble wise,
(Having like Pole-cat star'd in Eyes)
He said, Most lovely witty German,
Fairer then Negro, strong as Carman,
I do consent, and from this Toe
To Ivory Belly I will go;
[Page 10] And enter will thy Arched Cloyster,
That gapes for Liquor like an Oyster;
Where I will labour like a Brewer,
Or he that cleanseth common Sewer.
The answer of the worthy Squire,
Set Lady-Princess all on fire:
To Knight without delay she run,
And hugg'd him as the Childe doth Bun;
But whether Livery or Seizin
Was taken then, (as was good reason)
I cannot tell, but sure I am
London agreed with
Amsterdam.
But I had almost quite forgot
Her Pedigree as broad as
Scot,
Long as
Cadwallader the fierce,
(That eats more Cheese then Barly Mess)
Or Low-Dutch
Hogan, call'd
Van Rutter,
With Breech of Bacon, Face of Butter:
Then she in private told young Lord
Of great descent in one bare word,
That she was pigged very high,
As from the Toe to top of Thigh,
Call'd
Vulva, from
de Vulva born,
As
As 'tis elegantly exprest by the Author of
Hero and
Leander.
from the Oak drops the Acorn;And could compute from
Eve the Spinster,
When
Adam first advanc'd against her:
[Page 11] But being in haste, pursu'd by foe
That trac
[...]d her on the Petitoe,
Her Pedegree drawn out in Vellam
By Germane Herauld, yelep'd Skellum,
'Mongst other things of worth unknown,
VVas into friends kinde Clutches thrown,
Till News was given of her arrival,
And that she wedded Knight Corrival;
Her Goods and Plate full rich embost,
Should all be stript for English Coast.
Silence, my Princess, quoth this Knight;
For by the Sable Shades of Night
I'm satisfi'd as well as He
That stuffs his Guts on Apple-tree;
And hasten will our Matrimonials
By
Office Faculty's Testimonials.
B'ing over full with joy he farted;
And having kist her Lips, he parted.
Then came grave
Justice sage and wise,
That us'd at
Sessions to advise,
Sprung from the Race of
Cambrian King,
VVho sweeter far then
Bard could sing
Skyddur— A Brawle surnam'd the
Great
Andrake, renown'd for Martial feat.
Madam, quoth he, welcome on Shore
Of
Albions Isle: I'll praise thee more
[Page 12] Then blithest
Bard that ere was drunk
With any
A Simile much used by him.
Heliconian Punk:I'll make thy Name live when expir'd,
As
Phoenix born from Nest b'ing fir'd.
Then lowting low on bended Knee,
As if adoring Deity,
With holy
Zeal and
Sack inspir'd,
Her Health he drank; and being fir'd
In lofty Tones and Verse Prophetick,
With Ditty sweet, and not Pathetick,
Her praise he chants, and did fore-bode
Great Race should come from
Sable Pode.
With that he rose, and gave the Liquor
To Princess Goll, who gan to smicker,
Taking carouse: it shall go hard,
She said, but that I will, Dear
Bard,
Thee much advance for thy sweet Rimes,
Maugre the Poets of the times:
Thou shalt have Riches, and wears Bayes,
And Laureat be to sing my praise.
Like Butchers Dog in Garden
Paris,
That mows down Bears as Sythes do Harvest,
And having fore contented Eyes,
Carry'd away the worthy Prize,
In streets he walks close to the Wall,
And snarls at's Fellows great and small:
[Page 13] So pufft-up Youth by Princess graced,
Look't big as Bull with Bull-Dogs traced;
And puffing swelling Sir, appear'd
As big as
Morgans mighty Beard:
For ev'ry one he met on's way,
Although his Friends, yet would not stay;
But like a Begger born in Cot,
When Wealth and Riches he hath got,
Where ere he comes makes a great pother,
And will not know Father or Mother:
So Blade doth strut upon his high Pins
Like Artist great well skill'd in Nine-pins;
Telling them now they must forbear
With foolish Tales to trouble Ear,
For he was many Stories higher
Since last with them, and now a Squire;
The best in all the English Court
Beneath him was for to consort:
Emp'rors, Kings, Princes, Lords and Earls,
Should his Companions be, not Karles.
At length he came to Daddies House,
And set him down as still as Mouse;
And Cocking Bever, look'd on Sword
That did return him ne'er a word:
Quoth he,
Note, that Knights errant of Yore used to make suchlike Speeches to their Swords or Horses: as you may see several in the Reverend Legends of
Don Quixot.
Bright Blade made of good steel,If thou my pangs of Love didst feel.
[Page 14] Thou'dst out of Scabberd draw thy Mettle,
And make more noise then Drum call'd Kettle:
But now I think on't, keep thy edge,
Princess to guard through Ditch & Hedge;
And when ocasion doth require,
Be thou her Guardian and her Squire.
VVhen Mother heard her Infant tartle,
And to discourse
Love is always childish.
like Childe with Rattle,To him She came, charging the Youth
To tell her all in sober sooth;
For that She fear'd he was
Take heed of Fascination.
ore-looktBy evil Eyes, or by some rookt
Into belief of strange adventure,
Which had occasion'd this distemper.
To satisfie his Mams desire,
And expectation of his Sire,
He did begin, and by-past Story
Repeated o'er like learn'd
Jack Dory:
And pray'd his Parents by their leave
To keep't as close as Knife in
Whereby you may note, he intended to be a Courtier.
Sheath.Observe that Phrensie runs in a blood.
As he that by strange fury ledWith strange Chymaera's in his head,
Suppos'd himself to be a Member
In Commons house in times most tender,
Crept into seat, and took his place,
And boldly look'd on
Lenthals Mace,
[Page 15] At length discover'd for a Stray
That had leapt into Brethrens way,
And was yeleped Vintner Master,
That took the House for Common Pasture;
Voted he was for his offence
Unto the Pound, so carry'd thence:
So Parents hearing Sons Relation,
Were both surpriz'd in the like fashion;
Their thoughts being nought but Lord & Madam,
Ne'er thinking on poor delving
Adam:
But time may make them chew the Cud,
And value Vokes in house of Mud.
Quoth Mother to her aged Husband,
Rejoyce with me, and put on clean Band;
For
John our Son by Salmons Jowles,
Will rear up House as high as
Powles;
And make us all by his Adventers
Get more them
One that traded very much in that Commodity, in Purchasing of the Kings Lands.
Ʋrlyn by Debenters.Quoth aged Sire, My Dear, enough;
Pray send for Martial Friend in Buff,
And bid him bring with him his Cutter,
And Pocket Pistol: do not mutter,
But hasten to him; for by my Whiskers
More he shall get by this then
Note, that his Friends profest Physick.
Glisters,Or riding up and down the street,
Striking of fire with Horses feet.
[Page 16] Bid him from me leave Turkish
Id est, Coffee.
Julep,And drink Canary sweet as Tulip.
For such a Man of mighty Spirit,
Undaunted Courage beyond merit,
Our Son must have if 's heart should fail,
To undermine Princesses Tail.
At length the Gallant being come,
And Strangers all put out of room,
The old Man he assum'd the Chair,
By him his Lady, (foul, not fair)
Of one side young Lord sits with Hat on,
On t' other Friend with Iron Cap on.
A fit Allusion.
Have you beheld the close CommitteeWhen
Oliver trepann'd the City,
How Gravely they in Council sat,
Like Puss when set to catch a Rat?
So after silence and great leasure,
The Daddy did unfold the treasure
Of Fortune, Beauty, and Descent
Of Lady-Princess to be shent,
And snatcht away by Ink and Pen,
Like Chick by Kite from wary Hen.
When Friend had heard the full Relation
Of Princess come from forreign Nation,
And judging it a thing full desp'rate
That Lady should be made his Copes-mate;
[Page 17] And in respect of high-born Linage,
And fortunes fair besides within age,
Adjure he did the Youth with fear
To forbear handling Ladies Gear:
But being resolv'd in Pate so addle
To win the Horse, or loose the Saddle,
He answer fram'd in terms most haughty,
To gentle friend that was not loughty.
Sir, If my Lady-Princess love me
As I do her, who can reprove me?
I am a man, 'tis true, o' th' Quill,
And use Blank Bonds to sit and fill;
Of late there hath been many such examples.
But what of that?
Crispine the CoblerWas lov'd of Princess, and did down-jobble her:
And many more I can relate
That have crept into the same state;
As these late times can testifie.
Been Generals, made Governors of Islands,Lords of great Castles steep as High-lands:
And who can tell but I may be
Vicegerent in
High Germany,
And have my Squadrons drest in Buff,
With Pistol, Sword, and Sable Muff?
When Friend saw Youth as fully bent
As
Cutting Dick when's money's spent,
That stands at corner of
Hide-Park,
Robbing both Poor and Rich i' th' dark,
[Page 18] He did forbear to reason further,
As much as Rabby 'gainst self-murther;
And said, My Lord, pray no more words,
Unless of Cheescakes, Cream and Curds,
To be devour'd on Wedding-day,
When you are fine as
Green
Th
[...] best
[...] may borrow.
Poppay.But by the way, to clear all doubts,
A Simile fit enough for the subject.
As Maiden washes Infants Clouts,And prevent stain on antient house,
Worser then Beast on Cloak call'd Lowse,
As it too truly f
[...]ll out.
Lest Lady of the ancient Mannor,Call'd
Bloomsberry, where lives no Tanner
Should dress her self in Princely shape,
And you deceive like
Jack-an-Ape:
Therefore—
Would he had taken the counsel.
Take my advice, and be not slow,But straight unto the Tower go;
See beast there Couchant called Lyon,
That fawns on Princes when cast eye on;
Whereby you'll know if Princely born,
Or else his stern he'll whisk in scorn.
Quoth he,—
No more of that, fair friend of Steel
Such Tryal, DEAR, must never feel:
For I do know she's Princess stalk,
As sure as Dames know
Grays-Inne walk;
[Page 19] And further to confirm the truth
Of my believe, conceive me, Youth,
She'll not consent, or me admit
With her to play at Game
The same that
Peters plaid with the Butchers wife.
Treytrip,Till her great Riches do come over,
And Land within the Port of
Dover.
Besides, in penance once she went,
And met fierce Beast that was unpent;
Who humbly kneel'd as Friend, not Foe
And all ore-lickt her sweaty Toe.
So ended Gallants high Discourse,
Being resolv'd to run his course;
As is the Dog when set at Bear,
Or Groom attempting Ladies Ware.
Quoth he to's Friend, Sir, I cann't tarry,
For Princess I must forthwith marry:
Be close as night, firm as the ground,
The more's the pity he made not sure on't.
(For Gag receive two hundred pound)But not till money comes to
London,
Then I am made, or else I'm undone.
But till I come to her Estate,
Be our Companion, and our Mate:
For I resolve when we take Court,
And great Men to us do resort,
Thy little Legs shall strut in Hall,
And thou be call'd our General.
[Page 20] Be Captain of our Guard of Horse,
Of Troopers tall, fiercer then
Moss:
Shalt use our Court, Goods, Plate & Money,
And Princess too, excepting Coney.
When friend had heard this proffer great,
And how the Knight did him intreat,
And offer'd all ev'n to his Jerkin,
Excepting lovely Princess Merkin,
He was full glad that by the end
He had taken such a real Friend:
And thanks to him he then did utter
He was always too modest.
In manner smooth like new-made Butter:Like Presbyterian, Independent,
When both resolv'd to have
an end on't,
They in their Canting Hymns did sing,
And hand in hand did murther King:
So Daddy, Mammy, Friend and Knight,
In Judgement one did all unite;
And did agree without long tarry,
That Knight should Lady-Princess marry.
But as the Council was adjourning,
The Lady-sister enter'd mourning;
Acquainting them that forreign Knight,
It has always been the custome of Knight-Errants to go in quest after their Doxeys.
With cole-black hair, & eyes like spright,Had at the house enquiry made
For Germane Princess, and like Blade,
That heart from body he would tear
Of him that durst crack Princess
Nut,
Or dare with her to go to Rut:
And wheresoe'er he found the Man
Should dare to usher
Princess hand,
His Arms he'd cut off to the bones,
And whisk out
Laboring-Dog-Prick-
Stones:
Withal he'd give two hundred pound
Princess to see on English ground,
That he might carry her to
Cullen
With greater Joy then
Anne from
Bullen.
Have you beheld a
Millers Coat,
The white Beard of a
Rammish Goat?
A New
Thin, Cheese, or
Harry Groat,
Or
New-turn'd Milk, (that's very naught?)
So pale and thin lookt Princess servant
When he had heard the fierce Knights errant;
Believing that his
Hangers by
For bold attempt should surely die.
The House was all in Chitty Chatty,
And Heart of Knight went Pitty Patty:
At length arose the little Captain
To
Corps de Guard, before mad Chieftain.
Courage, Sir Knight, quoth he, be bold,
And quit not Princess strong tayl-hold:
[Page 22] For by my flaming Sword of Steel,
This Brave shall Doughty Mettle feel:
Bid Lackey-Boy go call a Coach,
While I the
Knave on Spit do broach.
The Coach being come, & Boot put down
And Lackey tayling Princess Gown,
Knight put her in as well as able,
And drove to house of
Dean Dunsiable,
As tall as
Meg Westminster Lass,
And of the make of
Caiaphas;
Where he agreed to take a Room
For her, and him the good Bridegroom.
But had you seen the Mimick Gesture
Of Reading Priest in his long Vesture,
How humbly he did scrape and bow,
And lickt his Lips, (like Calf by Cow)
With Hat held under arm like Bag-pipe,
Stood he upright like man in Moon-light;
Acquainting in his Gesture featly,
That he could marry them most neatly;
And Churches more could have then Hearers
For to assist such Love-Pickeerers:
And having ask'd advice of Priest
(First charging him for to be hiss't)
Whether 'twas lawful, fit or just
That Scrivener should at Princess thrust;
[Page 23] Pray think what said the Priest hereat;
Indeed he spoke the words of
Pilate,
Saying, I find no fault therein;
For Copulation is no sin:
For by such Jobs as these I'm richer
Then twelve Apostles, or St.
Peter.
At last the Gallants took their farewel
Of Priest in Coat Canonical:
Having 'forehand paid durt for Lodging,
For he and she to play hodge-dodge in,
If not prevented by Tongue-blabber,
Or Information of
Dutch Swabber.
But being return'd again to
London,
Enquiring out what Spyes had then done,
They found there fresh pursuits by Letters
To look out Princess though in fetters,
With promise fresh to give more Money
To him should tell where lay Dear Honey.
At this the Knight was sore affrighted,
And star'd like Beast anew bedighted,
Knowing not whither he should go
To shun pursuit of cruel Fo.
The Council being call'd agen,
And sate as close as sheep in Pen,
It was resolv'd at pale Knights instance
For to prevent a further mischance,
[Page 24] That marry'd they should be in Church,
And lie no more like
Dogs at Lurch.
As Loyal-suff'ring Cavaleers
Were lugg'd about like Pigs by th' ears,
By people then, and yet call'd
Saints,
Upon pretence of great Complaints,
And brought to
Haberdashers Hall,
Where with Contracts they did 'um mall;
And
Moyer with his Ferret-Eyes
As red as
Low-Dutch Ladies Thighs,
Would with one blow of Wooden Hammer
Conclude, sequester, and not stammer:
So aged Sire with Fist fast clutched,
Gave Table blow, and wise Son mutched,
And bid him get him to the Church,
While he went home on Wooden Crutch.
In
Smithfield liveth a Divine
That loves a Cup of brisk old Wine;
And, though Canonical, can tope
As well as he that plucks the Rope;
And loveth flesh better then fish,
And eats of many a good mans dish;
Pretending a Prerogative
In this to be Dispensative:
To him; the Knight, the Princess friend,
And elder Brother at the end,
[Page 25] Was come along to see the Wedding,
And be eye-witness to their Bedding;
And joyful news to Dad to carry,
And words to hear,
I John take Mary.
When Priest had set his face in fashion,
He finisht words of Copulation:
Which being done, they fell a grinning
As loud as Wench let loose from spinning;
And Parson too began to snear
When eye he cast towards Princess Gear.
But License man in black had not;
Haste and the fear had it forgot:
But they must do as
Dick with
Besse,
Go to't and work
de bene esse,
Till License was got feal'd before 'um,
They might go to't, though of the
Quorum
Justice were by, they had satisfaction,
And being resolv'd for am'rous action,
They drove away to place call'd
Barnet,
And with them took their Parson
Garnet:
Where being come, they fell a eating,
And hungry Priest threw Wine & meat in,
Like Miser at a City-feast,
That eats ten Meals in one at least.
At length their Guts being stufft with food,
And all being set on merry mood,
[Page 26] The Parson he took off his Girdle.
That binds his Coat as Wyth does Hurdle,
And did begin to dance and caper
Like
Poppet made up with brown Paper:
Princess began a
Germane Dance,
And friend in Buff like
Mars did prance:
The Lord did dance in order meet,
And Elder Brother on's bare feet;
An ancient Custome where young Cit
Before his Elder—doth hit.
At length the Couple went to Bed,
And Cap was put on young Lords head;
The Posset too of Sack was eaten,
And Stock in thrown too, (all besweaten)
Which Ceremonies being ended,
And that days work by all commended,
The Parson, Brother, and his Friend,
Bid him,
Good advice in a fierce Assault.
Ride soft to's Journeys end;And Germane Shins forbear to rub,
Lest fwallow'd in her Butter tub:
Wishing them sport at very heart,
They left the Lord at Princess Mart.
The famous Couple thus at rest,
And closely linkt as Birds in Nest,
Friends did return, and fell to Toping,
While Lord his Princess was a Groping:
[Page 27] And elder Brother of the Lord
Being with Liquor over-goar'd,
Went and lay down upon his Bed
To rest his drowsie drunken head,
While Captain and the worthy Parson
So ply'd their Cups, they could see scarce one.
The Man of
Mars told
John of
Leyden
That he must down to fair young Maiden,
And Conjure down the evil Spirit
That Coney hunts as doth the Ferrit.
So down he went, and in a Bed
Close on the sides and over head,
He found the Kitchin-Damsel sleeping,
But having wak'd her, he did peep in.
As subtle Fox, that crafty Beast,
When head gets in, brings on the rest;
So he his body did get in,
And play'd with
A very ancient Game, and much in use.
two Bowls & Nine-pin:And when the Game was fairly done,
Straight to the Parson he did come,
And gave to him account of all
That in his Journey did befal;
Defiring him in favour much
Not to acquaint the holy Church:
But Parson blam'd unkind Companion
That he should mount his Demi-Cannon
[Page 28] 'Gainst Maiden-fort, and let him not
At hairy Sconce to have one shot.
When morning-light begant' appear,
And day was nois'd by Chaunticlear,
The friends and Parson went to Room
Where lay the Bride and the Bridegroom;
And as they enter'd Princess smil'd,
But Knight did look as
Owl par boy l'd,
And like to Bulrush hang'd his head,
Being more fit for Grave then Bed.
The friends did pity Knight so little
Belike he came out of the Princess Stove much like to
Cornelius his Tub.
When they saw him in sweating pickle;Then Martial Doctor stept to Knight;
And praid him shortly to recite
His last nights labour with the Dame,
And where the Mare held up her Mane.
At this young Lord began to weep,
And Doctor praid counsel to keep,
For that his Princess with hot force
Had spoiled quite his Water-course.
An unkinde Bed-fellow
No more, quoth Doctor Steel-Cap then,
There's Cure for you as other men:
In four days time I'll cure your Tool,
And make it found as Oaken Stool;
Therefore arise, shew signes of mirth,
And pay respect to Royal Birth.
[Page 29] Having receiv'd this good advice,
He put on Garments in a trice;
Yet
Blame him not, for he came from, hot service.
walk'd like one late all befir'd,Or like a Horse that's newly tyr'd:
At length being-full of Country-air,
Back to the Town they did repair;
Where being come to Fathers Court,
Their friends in Clusters did resort,
To kiss the Hand of Princely Dame,
Meerly for love of Royal Name,
VVhilst Lord was clearing of the way,
And access to his Princess gay;
Telling them Proverb very old,
By others to him long-since told,
That after high attempts and pother,
He might safelyer have cunnde a Ship then her.
He had got the Steerage of her Ruther;And now-that maugre all her friends,
Of Princely Dame he had his ends.
A Banquet then was well drest out
To entertain the City-Rout;
VVine too was given to them in Glasses,
And
drink they did, and
bray like Asses,
VVhile Lady-Princess lookt as mute
As doth the Privy Lovers Lute.
The Banquet ended, friends departed
You may conceive not heavy-hearted,
[Page 30] And mounted were in Streets I ween,
As
Bergerack was in
Moon-machine.
When house was clear'd of all but friends,
On Princess there was further ends
Intended to be done in instance,
Marri'd to be again with License,
For to prevent the Lawyers bawl
In Court Ecclesiastical:
The which was done, and then old Sur
With Instrument well drawn
sans blur,
Reciting Princess
Earth in hand,
And Personal Goods about to land,
Desir'd the same might be made over
To
Lord his Son, and her great Lover.
To this he hop'd she'd not be shy,
Being to prevent Mortality:
Sir, quoth the Princess, I'll consult
My Pillow, and give you result:
But till I die I think not fit
To part with
'State or
Wealth one bit:
Besides, your Son's to me but light wood,
And ha'n't receiv'd
Honour of Knighthood;
Though in regard of my high Birth
He's called Lord, with Caps to th' Earth:
And judge, pray Sir, when friends arrive,
And see their Princess
Scriveners Wife,
[Page 31] Will't not disparage high descent,
As Garters in Rump-Parliament?
Like Childe rebuk'd crying for Knife,
Stood Father without Soul or Life;
Or without Fodder Cow in pound,
Or Ape in chain with whip scourg'd round.
At length he spake to Princess face
With home-spun Language, Coblers grace:
May't please your
Highness; Daughter, I
No harm did think most verily.
Quoth she, Pray, Sir, no more of this,
We do forgive what is amiss;
A Princely Pardon.
And for to satisfie your Will,
Time and his Love shall it fulfil.
At this,
Old Eighty Eightwas glad,
And straight acquainted Lord-like Lad,
And of Discourse for future Good,
And how his Lady was all Wood:
But said, they ended in pure Love,
As time to him would shortly prove.
Being thus satisfide at large,
As City-Dames in husbands Barge,
With
Tommy, Willy, James and
Jack,
While good men cry, Pray, what d'you lack?
The Father with content fetcht down
In Bags full stuffed many a Crown:
[Page 32] Bid him to treat her like her self,
And let her not to want for Pelf,
Or Garments new the best in fashion,
Or
Hide-Park-air for recreation;
And to attire his Lordships Body
With Silks and Sattins very hoddy▪
And Lodgings new in
Strand to take,
And Preparations great to make,
To entertain his Royal Kindred,
VVhich now his little
Palace hindred.
The Lord with Money in his hand
Did trip it neatly to the
Strand,
And house by house enquiry made
Of Lodging void for Princely Blade:
At length he took up Princess Stall
In
Durham-yard at Golden Ball;
And thither she in trice was brought
As safe as Cheese in Apple-Loft:
And in good sooth she did appear
Like
Sol in his bright Hemisphear,
With Gold and Silver all bedight,
And in a Case of Gold, the Knight
VVell shap'd by Painter of Signe-post,
Like Antick in gilt VVood embost,
Hung by her side when enter'd Lodging,
To shew she'd caught a City-Gudgeon:
[Page 33] Where being lodg'd, on the next day
The Trades-men set in good array,
Did humbly crave his Lordship straight
For License on his Corps to wait:
One to serve Shooes, another Linnen;
Stockins a third by Loom or Spinning:
A fourth to fit his Pate with Bevers;
A fifth with Swords as sharp as Clevers:
A sixth to make his Periwigs;
A seventh to teach the newest Jigs:
An eighth his Garments for to make;
A ninth to cure the pain Tooth-ake:
A tenth Sweet-powder for to bring,
For Hair and Beard, and Ladies Thing:
A 'leventh and twelfth to furnish Meat,
As Flesh or Fish, old Ling or Neat.
Gentlemen, quoth this worthy Knight,
To me this is a pleasant sight,
And sweeter far then
Hampshire-Honey,
In places sold for store of Money:
For I rejoyce to see my Servants
For to attend and run on Errants;
And as Dame Fortune gave to me,
So I to you, as you shall see.
Your places take, which is no hard thing
He scorn'd to sell places; a custome now very
à la mode.
To be admitted without
Farthing.Next day the Knight did want a Gown
To dress him in, not
Russet brown,
Or scribling Coat more rude then Freezes
That's homely made of
The Fleeces of Wool taken off from Scabbed Sheep,
31 Edw. 3. Cap 5.
Villain Fleeces,But Indian-Dress of Pink and Green,
Fellow to that on
Great Back seen;
Which being on, he lookt as stout
As Gem well fasten'd in Hogs Snout;
And did contemn his truest friends
That did assist him in his ends,
And slight he did the Art of 's Pen,
And all converse with vulgar men;
And Captain True-Friend was laid by,
And slighted with a scornful eye:
The Owner of the Silver Sword,
Of Weapon could hear ne'er a word:
These the Lord hated by pure Argent,
As much as broken
Cit a
Sergeant;
And at Bo-peep with them did play,
As great men use to do by their Duns.
At home to morrow, not this day:Sometime employ'd in great Concerns,
When he was cutting Princess Kerns:
At other times dispatching Orders
To's Stewards on the German Borders,
Requiring an account of Wealth,
And of his Cousin-Princes health.
[Page 35] But while in
Puff-Paste Lord doth strut,
And studies onely Back and Gut,
Dame Fortune wheel'd her tayl about,
And turn'd his
Lordship to a
Lowt:
For Shooemaker by a Petition
In Court did humbly pray admission
To serve them with both Boots and Shoon,
As well to ride as for to run:
But Princess seeing the Address
Of bold Sir
Hugh, she 'gan to guess
His Errand thither, telling Lord
He Calve-skins cut upon her word;
And that she could not fancie him
'Mongst all the Race of Cobling Men.
The answer of the Princely Spouse,
Hugh and his Bones did forthwith rouse;
For he did kindle like a Taper,
And lookt as pale as any Paper;
And having vindication made
Of Paring-Knife and Awle, (sharp Blade)
Goodness of Leather, Wax and Thred,
And able Work-man called
Ned,
He packt up Tools, and went his way
With stiffned Whiskers, Beard of Whay,
Contriving in his Horny Pate
Malice against the Lords Bed-mate.
The next day Lord went to
Hide-Park,
With him his Princess, (light not dark)
For she did shine as bright as Sun,
But Lord did look as sad as
The common Hangman.
Dun,When but one
Hector doth appear
To help expence of following year,
Though they were treated in the Park
By Ladies great▪ and many a Spark;
Giving right-hand to Royal Madam,
And great respect which much did glad' um.
But coming home unto their Court,
Sir
Hugh to Lord did straight resort;
Told him he could relate sad Story
Would make him weep in all his Glory,
And curse the time that ever he
His
Hawke at
Hobby did let flee:
Enough to put him into Lax,
Not to be staid by
Coblers Wax.
The Knight did wonder what he meant,
And praid him to declare intent
Of his address: for he did make
His Teeth to chatter, Knees to shake,
Why then, quoth he, your Lady gay
Is
Kentish breed, and
Crowders Spray;
And marri'd is to a Shooe-maker
That is no Cobler or Translator:
[Page 37] And hath to boot (take't not in Dudgeon)
Another Husband call'd a Surgeon;
And you in order make the third,
For Princess is not worth a—
This made the Lord to fume and fret▪
And water drop like Sable Jet:
For he did whine and howl like Dog
When at his Tayl is Wooden Clog;
And sad mishap did oft recount
Of this to-be-imagin'd Count.
Have you beheld the
Jack-an-Apes
With Bears and Dogs, his constant Mates,
When Horse was set upon by Dogs,
Being resolv'd to pluck off
[...]ugs▪
Of little Gentleman in Coat,
How gallantly with them he fought?
Sometimes the Horse was down, and he
Was brought upon his little Knee;
Then up agen he'd get to Grupper,
And with his Jaws begin to mutter;
Thence to the head, and so to side,
And could not at one place abide:
At length being tir'd as well as able,
Crept to his
Noose, and shut the Saddle.
So gude
Mas John 'twixt hope and fear,
Was entertain'd with the like Chear▪
[Page 38] And I dare say by his fierce screeches,
He
A Story so well known, it need not be told again.
Atkiniz'd his Wedding-Breeches.The Lackey-Boy was sent away
To Father and to Mother; Nay,
His Sister too, the good Match-maker,
Of Story true must be Partaker▪
Who being come, the Lord did tell
His sad mischance, which made 'em yell,
And to exclaim 'gainst Germane Lady
That had abus'd poor little Baby.
At last they went into Bed-chamber,
Where Princess lay like Dog in Manger,
Till aged Sire did her importune
The truth to tell, if such a fortune,
Or where she was a Germane Princess,
Or who had taken her by th' Inches
'Fore Son did enter Lower Quarters,
Or who wore
Senior Coblers Garters
When he did marry her in Church,
And who she lam'd and brought to Crutch;
And who it was besides did scrub her,
And what the Surgeon was did
probe her.
This fierce assault did make the Lady
To stand as mute at Joynted Baby,
And was surpriz'd to hear the Gabble
Of this connext and joyned Rabble,
[Page 39] By which the women thought her guilty,
With hand and knee they hilty-tilty
Most shamefully did her assault,
Which made her Royal Back to halt,
VVhilst
antedated Lord stood by,
And like Boy whipt did snob and cry:
At last Old Man as fierce as
Hector,
Having more of Henbane then of Nectar,
Lay'd hands upon the Ladies Garments,
Jewels and Rings, and her Attirements,
And Gouty Shank was held aloff,
And new Silk-Stockins plucked off:
In fine, they stript her to her Smock,
So fine, you might have seen her Nock.
Then much despis'd by bawling Litter,
Which made before their Chops to twitter.
When all Indignities were over,
In
German Vest they did her cover,
With
Justacore and a
Night-Rayle,
And Pettycoat all black to th'
[...]ayle,
The same reserved by Ships master,
VVhen she escap'd from forraign Cloyster,
Thence brought 'fore
Godfrey not of
Bullion,
For this did use her like a Scullion;
And so by Beadle fell and Hostile,
He sent her to the Gate-house
Bastille:
[Page 40] Where being come, the Gates flew open
For to receive
Dutch Fro Van Slopen,
As great Companion come to dwell
In Prison close much like to Hell.
The noise of Princess close restraint,
Sent persons great to hear her Plaint:
But when they heard her to discourse,
They netled were like Pamper'd Horse;
And did applaud her high-bred Parts,
Not to be equaliz'd at Marts,
Or Ladies some with face like Maple,
That spend their time in tittle-tattle,
With great respect they did her treat,
And sent in Money, Wine and Meat,
And Bribes to Keeper to be civil,
As he that Candle holds to Devil:
Where I will leave her to her Fate,
Still great, though in confin'd estate:
And for her high-conceited Lord,
When Reputation he had scor'd
On
Tick and borrow, then he went
To Chamber where he Body pent,
Believing German Knight would call
His Lordship to account for all
His base abusing Princely Dame,
And using her with so much shame:
[Page 41] And Parents full with shame and ire,
Did mope and dote like Cats by fire.
But stay, my Muse, now hand is in,
Ore Boots and Shooes; thou'lt never lin,
Though thou be grown as dull and weary
As
Sculler at the Laboring Ferry:
So cease at present, and let end,
For this time working feet befriend,
Till second part in
Canto quaint,
Shall write of Princess close restraint;
How long in prison she did stay,
And who for Liberty made way;
How she was brought 'fore Learned Bench,
And treated like her self, (not Wench)
And how she in most learned guise
Defence did make, (to those are wise)
Pleading her Cause like fluent
Cato,
Or Advocate with a bald Pate-o;
And was with great applause acquitted,
And Father, Son, and all out-witted.
This shall be sung in the next Part,
As second course to cheer your heart.
The Princess to her Lord: a Farewel.
THere was a time when
Skinker Perkin
Leapt into
Prince from a Freeze Jerkin:
Time also was, as't has been sed,
VVhen
Fryar Bacon's brazen Head
Spoke monstrous things; but
We do tell
Of stranger things that have befel,
How pretty Monkey in disguise
Held
A Name she much used to call her Lord by.
Pescod in her Mouth as prize.Oh fatal time! how couldst thou be
So cruel in thy Managery?
More fierce then erst thou wast to Fellow,
Who though in rage with Drink more mellow,
Did all his forepast Fancies deem
Of Drunken brain the passing steem.
Oh my sweet
Pescod, prethee think
Like him, that all thy hopes was drink.
FINIS.
ERRATA.
PAg. 2. lin. 8. read Check. l. 14. r. properer. p. 3. l. 17. r. Trance. l. 22. r. Trance. p. 4. l. 2. r. aw'd. p. 11. l. 10. r. shipt. p. 23. l. 9. r. dust.