FIrst, The first Direction, or gold link of Love. To preserve Conjugal Love between Hus­band and Wife; the [Page 2]Spirit of God in Sa­cred Scripture directs, That a special Care be taken in the choice of a Wife, or of a Husband; Beza upon that place, Non ut A­rabs inter­pres, &c. sed religiosè & cum Dei timore. So Mr. Calvin, Benedictus Aretius & Pareus. according to the Rule of the blessed Apostle St. Paul, (1 Cor. 7.39.) That they marry in the Lord; That is, not on­ly a Christian by Pro­fession, and not an In­fidel; as an Arabian Interpreter conceiv­eth (which Mr. Beza noteth). But religi­ously, and in the fear of God, as other god­ly and learned Divines judge. That in their [Page 3]choice they respect a Religion; for thus Marriages are Con­tracted more prospe­rously, and a blessing may be expected, when the married par­ties both fear God. Such being pronoun­ced blessed by the Ho­ly Ghost, Psal. 112.1. Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord, that delighteth greatly in his Commandements: His seed shall be mighty up­on Earth, the Congrega­tion of the upright shall be blessed: Wealth and Ri­ches shall be in his house, and his righteousnesse [Page 4]endure for ever. And again, Psal. 128. The same Prophet King David speaketh the same in effect, inspired by the Holy Ghost, 2 Pet. 1.20, 21. Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his wayes; for thou shalt eat the la­bour of thy hands, happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee: Thy wife shall be as the fruit­ful Vine by the sides of thy house; thy Children like the Olive plants, round about thy Table: Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord; the [Page 5]Lord shall bless thee out of Zion, and thou shalt see the good of Jerusa­lem all the dayes of thy life; yea, thou shalt see thy childrens children, and peace upon Israel. Thus an excellent bles­sing comes to them that fear God; But on the contrary part, when the Man or Woman is an Idolater, Athe­istical, Prophane or Deboist; without the fear of God, any way wicked by Education, Custome, or Conditi­on, a Curse may rather be expected then a Blessing, That Kingly [Page 6]Preacher, Eccles. 8.12, 13. giveth this evidence, That al­though a Sinner do e­vil an hundred times, and his dayes be pro­longed; yet I know it shall be well with them that fear God, which reverence be­fore him: But it shall not be well with the wicked, neither shall he prolong his dayes, which are as a sha­dow; because he fear­eth not before God. It fell out thus with the old World, Gen. 6.1, 2, 3. &c. when the Sons of God, the Children of religious [Page 7]Parents, Members of the Church did see the Daughters of Men that they were fair; Gen 7.1, 3. that is, the Posterities of Prophane and that wicked Cain; and they that were, or should have been Gods Children, made choice of these prophane irreligious Wives; they provo­ked God to anger, and he brought in the Flood upon the world of the Ungodly, 2 Pet. 2.5. to their Destruction; on­ly religious Noah and his Family were saved alive in the Ark. Gen. 7.23. A­gain, [Page 8]prophane Esau, Gen. 24.63. the Son of religious Isaac, by the evil choice of his Wives, was a grief of mind to his aged Parents Isaac and Rebecka; Gen. 26.34, 35. and too many such like Marri­ages we read of in ho­ly Scriptures, 1 King. 11.1, 2, 3. to have been in the World; as you may find at full if you search the Sa­cred Records. 2 Kings 8.26, 27. And how odious such Mar­riages are to God, you may find declared by the Prophet Mal. 2.11, 12. And yet how many such are in the World? Families, [Page 9]where scarce a form of Religion is to be found; Strangers from prayers to God, nor Morning, nor Evening Prayer to be heard; although God renew­eth his Mercies every Morning, Lamen. 3.22, 23. and conti­nueth his goodness to the Night: Though he declare his most gracious Prefence with us, Exod. 13.21. as it were by a Pillar of a Cloud by Day, and a Pillar of Fire by Night; al­though God hath been a Defence to their Tabernacles, and they have dwelt safe­ly [Page 10]by his goodness; yet how many are there who little or no­thing take notice of these daily Mercies, or observe Gods goodnesse to glorifie him. How far unlike are these in this to blessed Daniel, Daniel 6.10. or re­ligious King David, Psal. Psal. 55.17. 55. who kept acquaintance with God three times a day; At morning, and evening, and noon day will I pray, and that in­stantly, and he shall hear my voice, &c. And therefore they are strangers from God, [Page 11]when they should stand in need of his help, and want that good which they might enjoy by keep­ing acquaintance with God, of which Elip­haz doth witness, Job 22.21. That graci­ous practice of secret Prayer which our Sa­viour directs unto, Mat. 6.6. Thou, when thou prayest enter into thy Closet, and shut to thy door, and pray to thy Father in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. How ma­ny spend so much time [Page 12]openly in vain, that they have no leisure for secret Devotions, to read and meditate of heavenly things, which pertain to eter­nity, or to poure out their Souls as Hannah did to God in Prayer. 1 Sam. 1.15. Alas, if sins of omissi­on were the only irre­ligiousness or pro­phaneness in some Fa­milies, it were lesse, although for these men shall be called to an account at the Day of the last Judgment, witness what our Bles­sed Lord and Saviour declareth, Mat. 25.41, [Page 13]42. But their sins of Commission, common breach of Gods Com­mandements, witness little fear of God to be before their eyes; What common swea­ring, and taking of Gods name in vain, forgetting that God threatens he will not hold such guitlesse that take his Name in vain, Exod. 20.7. or did men remember that of the Lord, by the Prophet Jer. 5.7. How shall I Pardon thee for this, thy Children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no [Page 14]Gods. Men, yea Chil­dren, would not swear so commonly by those things which they themselves will con­fesse are no Gods: How difficult a thing is it to hire a Servant from amongst the common sort of Peo­ple, Read Rom. 12.14. Psal. 109.17, 18. And Mat. 5.34, 35, 36, 37. James 5.12. but they are Swearers or Cursers, or both, and so Gods Name is dishonoured. Children learn of Pa­rents to be irreligious, and this too often a­mongst the Rich as well as Poor; I say but little of that com­mon sin too often in [Page 15]greater Families, inti­cing men to Drunken­ness, by that specious pretence of pledging Healths of Friends; pressing men in Drink, Read Hab: 2:2.15, 16. A dread­ful Woe to such. contrary to that Law and Practice of that Moral Prince, King Ahasuerus, that none should compel to Drink, Hester 2.8. But every one be free to drink what he plea­sed: a shame to men that professe them­selves Christians. I know in divers great Families, there is civi­lity, if not a religious respect to avoid these [Page 16]sins; But when these abound, and men, or women rashly unite themselves in Marri­age, what hope of constant happy Love to continue between Husband and Wife during life?

I proceed to a se­cond Gold-link of Love between Hus­band and Wife, The second Gold-link of Love. that in choice of a Wife or Husband, as respect is to be had for likenesse and agreement in Re­ligion, so likewise to equality, or likeness of qualities, and condi­tions as near as possi­ble.

For as St. Paul ad­viseth not to be une­qually yoaked with Unbelievers, so he presseth his Counsel with a good Argu­ment: What fellowship (saith he) hath righte­ousness with unrighte­ousness, and what Com­munion hath Light with Darkness, (2 Cor. 6.14.) So even right reason will instruct us, and daily experience witness, that contra­ry Dispositions of na­ture, or too great ine­qualities, seldom live comfortably together; as Fire and Water [Page 18]will not agree, the one exsiccateth or quencheth the other. But like rejoyceth, and delighteth with the like. Observe this Rule then, for this is a second Direction or Gold-link of Love, to preserve Love be­tween Husband and Wife.

A third Direction, A third Di­rection, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love followeth: And this is, That some fit re­spect be had to the age of the Parties to be married; for a young man of twenty to marry an old wo­man [Page 19]man of above three-score, or for an old man of fourscore to marry a young wo­man under twenty, is not agreeable; be­cause one chief end of Marriage is in danger to be frustrate, Gen. 1.27, 28. which is Posterity to be brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, as Sr. Paul in­timateth, ( Ephes. 6.4.) Although it is more fit for a very old man to marry a young wo­man in hope of Poste­rity, then for a very old woman past child-bearing, to marry a [Page 20]young man. Equali­ty and conveniency do best agree together for the preservation of Conjugal Love be­tween Husband and Wife; and this is a third Gold-Link in this Gold Chain of Direction, to keep and bind Love fast be­tween Husband and Wife during their Lives.

The fourth Direction, A fourth Direction, or Gold-link of love. or Gold-Link of Love in a marriage Union; there ought to be likenesse and agree­ment of affection, a mutual love and like­ing [Page 21]of each others persons and qualities, and a knitting and uniting of Hearts to­gether, in a right or­dered and well groun­ded Love before the joyning of Hands on the Wedding-Day. For where there is an Antipathy or contra­riety of Natures, or dislike of Persons or Conditions, there sel­dome is a continuance of sweet agreement and satisfaction one to and with another, and so Marriage proveth a Bondage; instead of a sweet freedom in [Page 22]a happy enjoyment of each other in the Lord, as St. Paul de­sired to enjoy, and have joy of Philemon in the Lord, St. Paul his Epistle to Phile­mon, verse 20. in whom what we enjoy is a blessing by Christ; whereas if the Hearts be truly knit together, and united in Love, as the heart of Jonathan to David, 1 Sam. 18.1. who loved him as his own Soul; the Love will be won­derful, as was Jona­thans to David, passing the love of Women. 2 Sam. 1.26. Although the love of good women to their Husbands hath been [Page 23]wonderful, as Re­cords of ancient Hi­stories do witnesse at full. I mean not a light unconstant passi­onate Love taken up­on sight of Beauty or Riches, or some such uncertain foundation, which is deceitful, and vain as King Solomon witnesses. First of Riches, Prov. 23.5. Wilt thou set thy Eyes upon that which is not, for Riches certainly make themselves Wings and fly away as Eagles towards Heaven. They are uncertain, 1 Tim. 6.17. and not to be trusted in. And [Page 24]again, the like for Beauty, Favour is de­ceitful, and Beauty is vanity; But a Woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised, Prov. 31.30. When a right grounded love in the fear of the Lord (which is praise-wor­thy) is permanent, and will endure for life: I know upon some oc­casions, A preven­tion of Ob­jection. there may want time and oppor­tunity of such a fami­liar Converse with each other, which may be helpful to such a well grounded love as between great Prin­ces, [Page 25]who are constrai­ned to Wooe, and in­tercede sometimes by Ambassadors, as Isaac, Genesis 24 1, 2, 63. that religious Prince did by the religious Ser­vant of his honourable Father Abraham; I call Abraham honourable, for he is stiled a migh­ty Prince: Genesis 23.6. And this Ambassadour went to intercede for a Wife for Isaac. This done by his Masters Com­mand, and no doubt with Isaac's consent, who was advised by his Father in choice of his Wife; as Re­beckah was by her Pa­rents, who willingly [Page 26]sent her with Abra­ham's Servant, yet so as Rebeckah first was asked her consent also, as you may read at large, Gen. 24.57, 58. Gen. 24.

Thus religious Isaac walking out into the Fields at Eventide to meditate and pray, Gen. 24.63. espieth his Rebeckah coming, goeth on to meet her, and bring­eth her into his Mo­thers Tent, and she became his Wife, and he loved her, Gen. 24.67. Thus a good choice with love and Gods blessing made a [Page 27]happy Marriage to both their joyes, and no doubt to the joy of aged Abraham, that blessed Father of the Faithful. And thus you have a fourth Gold-link in this Gold Chain of Love.

I will give you but one Preparative Gold link of Love more; A fifth Di­rection, or Gold link of Love. And this is, That not only Parents consent and blessing may be had (if possible) (as no doubt Isaac and Re­beckah had) and their blessing. And she bles­sed Rebeckah, and said, be thou the Mo­ther [Page 28]of thousands of mil­lions, Gen. 24.60. and let thy Seed possess the Gate of those that hate thee. But that by their Parents provision, or thy own wisdom, there be care taken that one or both have an estate for convenience and com­fortable maintenance, if not of great Riches; yet to have what Agur prayed for, Prov. 30.8, 9. To be fed with food convenient, least want of Necessaries occasion Complaint, and that breed Diffe­rences, and Love re­ceive a Dampe and an [Page 29]Abatement, and so marriage which should be a Merry-Age, prove an Age of Sorrow, Sadness, and Discon­tent, (yea, of Sin and wickedness sometimes) for although the Hus­band taketh the Wife, and the Wife the Husband for better or worse, for Richer or Poorer, yet if God of his free Grace in Christ give not a con­tentednesse of spirit, and humblenesse of mind, to submit to Di­vine Providences, and to know and learn as St. Paul did, Phil. 4.11, 12, 13. In every [Page 30]estate to be content. Both Souls and Bodies may repent such Mar­riages, and wish they had been wiser, when it is too late. Before God made Man and Woman, our first Pa­rents, Adam and Eve, and married them to­gether; He first made the World, Gen. 1.27, 28. and en­riched them with Do­minion over the Crea­tures, Gen. 2.23, 24. for their com­fortable living in a married estate; Gen. 1.1, 2, &c. He gave them plentiful Provision for them and their Posterity, Gen. 9.1, 2, 3, 4. as he did after to Noah. [Page 31]Thus should Parents take Care for their Children, or Children for themselves, to pre­serve Love between Husband & Wife du­ring lives. Thus much for pre-considerations before Marriages.

Now a sixth Gold-link of Love, A sixth Di­rection, or Gold-link of Love. for a joyful happy life in a married estate, is that the married Parties ought to labour for a daily increase of Gra­ces, 1 Pet. 3.7. 2 Pet. 3.18. and to get assu­rance that they are both of them married to Christ, Eph. 5.31, 32. and have the Lord Jesus for [Page 32]their heavenly Hus­band, and so be mar­ried one to another in Christ, as Christ is to his Spouse the Church, ( Hos. 2.19, 20.) Happy is the Soul which is married to Christ, Isa. 9.6. He is an everlasting Father to take care and provide for his Spouse the Church. Rev. 1.18. A heavenly Husband that never dieth, but liveth ever to provide for his be­loved Spouse, for eve­ry Soul that is united in marriage to him. Isa. 54.5. He is a blessed Hus­band, whose Name is [Page 33]the Lord of Hosts, and our Redeemer; Mat. 18.20. Mat. 28.20. a Saviour who hath promised to be pre­sent with his Church, his Beloved, to the end of the World. And to deliver in greatest danger, Isa. 43.1, 2, 3, 4. in fiery Afflictions, it shall not burn them, in wa­try they shall not be drowned: There is no better, yea, none so good a Husband as Christ, none to be loved so much as our heavenly Huband the Lord Jesus. There­fore we ought to la­bour daily for a bles­sed [Page 34]increase of our love to Christ, because he loved us first, (1 John 4.19.) And as we ought to be en­flamed every day more and more in love to Christ. So ought Husbands and Wives to endeavour truly to cherish, in­crease, and preserve mutual Love, to and with each other, as the Apostle St. Paul pray­eth for his Christian Ephesians, Eph. 3.17, 18, 19. that Christ may dwell in their Hearts by Faith, that being rooted and grounded in Love, [Page 35]they may be able to comprehend with all Saints, what is the bredth, and length, and depth, and height of that love of God, which passeth Know­ledge; they may be filled (and satisfied) with the fulnesse of God. So Husbands and Wives being rooted and grounded in Love, may be satis­fied with each others Love, as that wise King Solomon adviseth: Prov. 5.18, 19. I speak not of a meer carnal Love, which will not make their Souls happy; but of a [Page 36]right Conjugal Love between Man and Wife well rooted, and rightly cherished, which will make their Lives delightful, and hath Gods blessing of perseverance in true love united unto it with joy to the end, Cant. 2.3. Cant. 8.6, 7. like the Love of Christ to his Church; A Tree new set or plan­ted, may easily be plucked up again. But if it hath taken root, and be well grown, it will abide both wind and weather; and a true fervent Love, ma­ny Waters cannot [Page 37]quench it, as Solomon speaks of that Love between Christ and his Church, it will en­dure during the Lives of the Lovers, to their Rejoycings, as being sealed with Constan­cy, and setled in the Heart. This is a sixth Gold-link of Love.

A seventh Directi­on, A seventh Direction, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love, to enjoy happy contentment and con­tinuance of Love be­tween Husband and Wife, is this, That there ought to be free Communication of mutual kindness, and [Page 38]conjugal engagements one to and with ano­ther, that mutual Be­nevolence, and Bond of Marriage-Love, at times convenient, ac­cording to the Law of God and Nature; read the blessed Apo­stles Direction, (1 Cor. 7.2, 3, 4, 5, &c.) and that Law of God, Leviticus 18.19. and Leviticus 20.18. and Ezekiel 18.6. These Rules observed, This Marriage-kindness at fit times is one means to cherish and pre­serve mutual conjugal Love between Hus­bands [Page 39]and Wives; when as the denial of this loving kindnesse is a dangerous occa­sion of Breach and Disquietnesse; yea, sometimes it may prove of separation, and an occasion of Damnable sin (if God restrain not by his spe­cial Grace); yet a Bridle must be to re­strain Intemperance in all Delights, least ex­cess destroy both Souls and Bodies; That is a general Rule ( Phil. 4.5.) Let your moderation be known to all men, the Lord is at [Page 40]hand. He is present to see all our Actions, and to bless or punish, according to our Obe­dience or Disobedi­ence to his Comman­dements. Thus you have a seventh Gold-link of Love.

The eighth follow­eth; The eighth Direction, or Gold-link of Love. And this is, That Husbands and Wives be careful of, and rea­dy to shew their love to each others Souls, as well as to their Bo­dies or Estates: That Husbands love their Wives as Christ lo­ved his Spouse the Church, and gave [Page 41]himself for it, that he might sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present it to himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle, Eph. 5.25, 26, 27. or any such thing, but that it should be ho­ly, and without ble­mish.

Husbands ought to take care for the beau­ty of their Wives Souls as well as of their Bodies; that they may be lovely to Christ their heavenly Husbands, as well as [Page 42]to them, Cant. 4.7. as the Spouse of Christ is to him: The Husband which taketh no care for his Wives soul, how can he expect that God should bless him with a good Wife? The Husband should pray daily for his Wife, as St. 1 Thess. 5.23. Paul did for his Christian Thessaloni­ans,, That her whole Spirit, Soul and Body be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Soul is better then a whole World; Mat. 16.26. What is a man profited, if he gain the [Page 43]whole World, and lose his Soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his Soul? What saith that great and blessed Apostle, He that provideth not for his own, especially for them of his own houshold; he hath denyed the Faith, and is worse then an Infidel, (1 Tim. 5.8.) And if it be a Duty to pro­vide for the Body of his Family or Hous­hold, then much more for their most pretious and immortal Souls (if it possible be in his power), and most of all for his Wives [Page 44]Soul, which is his second Self, and is, or ought to be most dear unto his Soul. That her Soul may prosper, as St. John did testifie of the Soul of his Be­loved Gaius; 3 John 1.2. That it may appear, he loveth his Wife in Truth; and so God may bless her unto him, for the good of his Soul, Bo­dy, and Estate. And so likewise Wives ought to be studious and careful for the good of their Hus­bands Souls, as well as of the health of their Bodies and E­states. [Page 45]This is a means by Gods blessing, for the preservation of conjugal Love, and gratious affections for true joy of Husband and Wife, by the Grace and Power of Christ. John 15.15. Phil. 4.13. For Husbands and Wives ought to be helpers, and means in their places of each others Salvation; this St. Paul intimateth, (1 Cor. 7.16.) requi­ring cohabitation and dwelling together; and he expresseth a Rea­son, What knowest thou, O Wife, whether thou shalt save thy Husband; [Page 46]and how knowest thou, O Man, whether thou shalt save thy Wife; That is, be an outward means of Salvation by good Counsel, or o­therwise by Gods Blessing, taking care of the means of Salva­tion for each other to their powers. As the Wives may be a means to win their Husbands by their good Conversations; 1 Pet. 3.1, 2, 3, 4. As St. 1 Pet. 3.7. Peter directs: So the Husbands may win their Wives, if they follow St. Peters Counsel; Live with their Wives as men of [Page 47]knowledge, giving ho­nour to the Wife, as the weaker Vessel, that their Prayers be not hindred. And this is the great­est love which is shewed to the Souls of each other, and a work of high esteem, and unspeakable benefit. James 5.20. Let him know, saith St. James, That he which converts a Sinner from the errour of his way, shall save a Soul from Death, and shall hide a multitude of Sins. And thus may a Hus­band or Wife be help­er, and means for their eternal mutual [Page 48]happiness, if by lo­ving and wise carriage and deportment each to other, they can win and gain one or other, or both from any evil he or she is subject unto, praying to God daily for a Bles­sing upon their good Endeavours. This is a most pretious Gold-link of Love, to pre­serve love and affecti­on, and happy peace and prosperity with Husbands and Wives during their lives.

Now I proceed to a ninth Gold-link, A ninth Direction, or Gold-link of Love. in this Golden Chain of [Page 49]Love. This is, that Husband be an exam­ple to the Wife of Piety and Chastity, & Religious Love, with care of Cherishing his Wife, as the wea­ker Vessel, especially in times of Sickness, Weakness, or other Infirmities; as Christ was kind to his Dis­ciples, when they were troubled at the news of his Depar­ture from them, John 14.1, 2, 3. Let not your Hearts be troubled, ye believe in God, believe also in Me; in my Fa­thers House are many [Page 50]Mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you; I go to prepare a place for you. And as Christ hath been to his Church; and Chil­dren in all Ages, espe­cially in any sad Dis­pensation; To speak comfortably, as the Lord answered the Angel that spake for Jerusalem, Zachar. 1.13. The Lord answer­ed the Angel that tal­ked with me with good words, and comfortable words. Or as Elkanah did to Hannah, when peevish and spiteful Peninnah [Page 51]vexed her, because she was barren. And Elkanah said, Hannah, why weepest thou I and why eatest thou not I am not I better to thee then ten Sons, I Sam. 1.8. And the wife ought to be careful, not to pro­voke her husband by any unkind behaviour towards him, but to be ready to shew her love to her husband in sickness and health, and both to look to the example of Christ our heavenly husband. The husband to love his wife as his own Body; for he that loveth his [Page 52]wife, loveth himself: For no man yet ever ha­ted his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherish­eth it, as the Lord doth the Church, Ephes. 5.28, 29. Each follow­eth Christ his Golden Rule, Mat. 7.12. to do to each other as they would be done by. And if any unkindness hath been, not to rest quietly untill there be a Reconciliation; Sleep not, untill they can sleep in Love, and lo­ving Embracements of each other; say in any neglect of Love, or in any occasion of [Page 53]Breach, would I have Christ, my Lord and spirituall husband, so unkind to me, as I am to my wife; and may the wife say, would I have Christ so unkind to me, to forsake my soul, or withdraw his love from me, as I have done from my hus­band; and so may the husband say in respect of his wife. This mu­tual care of kindnesse is a precious Gold link of Love, to bind love fast during life. A tenth Direction, or Gold-link of love,

The tenth Directi­on, or Gold link of [Page 54]Love. Husbands and wives must take heed their love be rightly qualified.

First, let Love be without Dissimulati­on. This is that Rule of the Holy Ghost, recorded by the Apo­stle St. Paul, Rom. 10.9.

Secondly, Let love be without Bitterness, so the same Apostle, Coloss. 3.19. Hus­bands love your Wives; and be not bitter against them. Nor ought wives to be such to their husbands: Love and Bitterness connes [Page 55]agree well together; Psal. 64.3. this is contrary to love, to shoot out Ar­rows, even bitterness, or bitter actions in­stead of pleasant and lovely: Sinilitude. This is to min­gle Gall with Honey, or soure sharp Vine­gar with sweet Wine, it will make all di­stasteful; a husband must not be like unto a Crab, Orange, or Lemon; fair on the outside to the shew, and soure and bitter within; pleasing, with sugared words abroad, Sweet-heart before Company, and [Page 56]of a froward and per­verse Disposition at home; or in private, nor must the wife be so to the husband; Eph. 5.1, 2. but both walk in true Love, as Christ hath loved us.

The eleventh Di­rection, The ele­venth Di­rection, or Gold link of Love. or Gold link of Love, to preserve mutual love between husband and wife is mutually, fidelity and faithfulnesse each to other, according to the marriage Cove­nant, they ought to forsake all other, and keep mutually onely to themselves so long [Page 57]as they both shall live. Yea, they ought to be very careful to avoid all occasions of jealousies of or against each other, and to hate jealousie as a most dangerous ene­my, except there be evident and sure ground of each others disloyalty, and sinful Breach of the marri­age Covenant. The Jews were a very jea­lous People, jealous of their wives upon slight occasions, and often put their wives away with a Bill of Divorce, for slight [Page 58]occasions, and causes which did not break the Bands of Matri­mony, against which our Saviour speaks, Mat. 5.31, 32. Mat. 19.3, 4, 5, &c. The Jews were so jealous, That upon small suspi­tion, they would for­bid their wives to keep any Company in secret with any of whom they were jea­lous, and if after the wife was thus forbid before two witnesses (as the Jewish Do­ctors declare) if she was proved to be in secret with such a Maymony in misn. com. 2. See Mr. Ainsworth, in Numb. 5. [Page 59]one. The husband brought her before the Magistrate, and she was to be put to the Tryal of seu honesti, by the bitter water of Jealousy, which if she were guilty, would cause her Belly to swell, and her Thigh to rot, as you may read in that Law for Trial of jealousy, Numb. 5.11.12. to the end. And ver. the thir­tieth, The Text saith, That when the Man is free from Iniquity, M [...]ymo [...]y in Jota [...]. cap. 2. sect. 8. the Woman (guilty) beareth her Iniquity. There­fore amongst the Is­raelites [Page 60]it is said, See Mr. Ainsworth, in Num. 5.30. That no man which had himself been guilty that way, could bring his wife to this Tryal, The guilty man could not bring his wife to this Tryal of bitter Water. Rom. 2.1. that is, by this bitter water, according to the Law of Jealousy a­fore. But it is most cer­tain, That it is the duty both of the husband and wife, to be care­ful by power from Christ, to avoid all occasions of jealousy in both, according to that Rule of God's word, and Direction of the Holy Ghost by the Apostle St. Paul, To abstain from all ap­pearance [Page 61]of Evill, 2 Thess. 5.22. And that ancient Law of God, Levit. 19.14. Thou shalt not put a stumbling block before the blind; But thou shalt fear thy God, I am the Lord. And pres­sed again by the bles­sed Apostle, Rom. 14.13. Let us not judge one another any more, but judge thus rather, that no man put a stumbling block, or an occasion to fall in his Brothers way. I must avoid occasion of sin my self, and I must not give occasion of sin to another, nor [Page 62]of this sin of unjust jealousy to my hus­band, or to my wife. For many are the mi­series may follow to husband or wife; jea­lousie is the rage of a man, therefore he will not spare in the day of Vengeance: He will not regard any Ransome, neither will he rest content, though thou givest many Gifts; witnesse King Solomon, Pro. 6.34, 35. And jealousie is cruel as the Grave, the Coals thereof are Coals of fire, which hath a most vehe­ment flame, witnesse [Page 63]the spirit of God, Can. 8.6. This taking care to avoid all occasion of jealousy, is a power­ful means to preserve Conjugal Love be­tween husband and wife.

But much more the Grace of fidelity, and constant care of faith­fulness each to other, according to that sa­cred Bond of Marri­age.

The husband ought to be careful, to be faithful to his wife, forsaking all other, witnesse the spirit of God, Prov. 5.18, 19. [Page 64] Let thy, Fountain be blessed, and rejoyce with the Wife of thy youth: Let her be as the Loving Hind and Pleasant Roe; Let her Brests satisfie thee at all times, and be thou ravished alwayes with her Love. And the same Spirit of God speaketh the same a­gain, Prov. 6.23.24, 25, &c. The Commande­ment is a Lampe, and the Law a Light, and reproof of Instruction is the way of life to keep thee from the evil Woman which flattereth with her Tongue, and from the flattery of the Tongue of [Page 65]the strange woman: Lust not after her beauty in thy Heart, neither let her take thee with her Eye-lids: For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of Bread, and the Adul­teress will hant for the precious life. Can a man take Fire in his Bosome, and his Clothes not be burnt? Can one go upon hot Coales, and his feet not be burnt? So he that goeth into his Neighbours wife, who­soever toucheth her shall not be innocent. This sin of Adultery or Fornication, breaketh [Page 66]the Command of the great God, ( Who is a consuming Fire, Heb. 12.29.) The Law of that All-seeing every where present God, Jer. 23:23, 24. before whose Eye, Prov. 5.21. Heb. 4.13. Mat. 12.36. Amos 4.13. all things are open and naked; whatsoever we can speak, do or think, The command of this Mighty God is, Thou shalt not Commit Adul­tery, Ex. 20.14. The Lord himself will be witness against such, Mal. 2.14. The Lord, saith the Prophet, hath been a witnesse be­tween thee and the wife of thy youth, [Page 67]against whom thou hast dealt treache­rously; yet she is thy Companion, and the wife of thy Youth; yea, of thy Govenant, to keep thee only to her: And did not he make one, saith the Prophet, and yet had be residue of spirit; and wherefore one (one man and one wo­man) that he might seek a godly feed; Therefore take heed to your spirit (saith he) and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth, Mal. 2.15. And the [Page 68]same is the sin of the wife, and her wicked­nesse, if she break the Marriage-Covenant, as you may read, Prov. 2.16, 17, 18. To de­liver thee from the strange woman, which flattereth with her words, which forsak­eth the guide of her Youth, and forgetieth the Covenant of her God; for her House inclineth to Death, and her Pathes unto the Dead; none that go unto her return a­gain, neither take they hold of the Pathes of Life. And Prov. 7.27. [Page 69]Of the Adulte­rous woman, the wise wise man concludeth, That her House is the way to Hell, going down to the Chambers of Death: A Whore is a deep Ditch, and a strange Woman a narrow Pit, Proverbs 23.27. Therefore to be avoy­ded as snares, and Pits prepared for thy Destruction: Both the Adulterer and Adul­toress they sin grie­vously, and their pu­nishment will be terri­ble, except God in time give them true Repentance; for by [Page 70]the Law of God they were both to be sto­ned to death, Levit. 20.10. and Deut. 22.22. That sentence of the Apostle is terrible, Hebr. 13.14. Marri­age is Honourable a­mongst all, and the Bed undefiled; But Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge. In this life this sin of Adulte­ry and Fornication oftentimes is an occa­sion of Murder. As Shechem's Fornication with Dinah, Jacob's Daughter, occasioned the Murder of the Shechentites, Gen. 34.21, [Page 71]&c. And Am­mon's Ravishing of Tamar, 2 Sam. 13.27, 28, &c. Besides it excludes such out of the Kingdom of Hea­ven, 1 Cor. 6.9, 10. And on Earth it is a cause of Divorce, as our Saviour declares, Mat. 5.32. And thus you see how necessary mutual fidelity is to preserve Conjugall Love between Hus­band and Wife, while they live.

The twelfth Di­rection, A twelfth Direction, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love, is, That ei­ther of them, or both [Page 72]of them have a special Care of their mutual Duties, to give right and due respect to each other. First, the Wife to honour and reverence her Hus­band as her Head, and to obey him in all things lawful and ex­pedient in the Lord, as Sarah (that great Lady) did honour and obey Abraham her Husband, calling him Lord, 1 Peter 3.6. I say, Obey him in all things lawful and ex­pedient in the Lord: For as this is the rule of Childrens Obedi­ence [Page 73]to their Parents, given by the Spirit of God, Ephes. 6.1. So it is the rule of all In­feriours to obey their Superiours in all things lawful in the Lord; yea, expedi­ently also it is to be respected. A Hus­band may not prosti­tute his Wives Cha­stity or Honour, as he may not prostitute his Daughter to be a Whore, as you may read, Leviticus 19.29. Nor Husband nor Fa­ther can lawfully Command a Wife or Daughter to consent [Page 74]to such a sin; nor is either Wife or Daughter bound to obey in such sinful Commands; no Su­periour hath power to command an Inferi­our to sin against Gods Command: The An­swer to such unlawful Commands of Men or Women is set down by the Holy Ghost, Acts 5.20. It is bet­ter to obey God then Man. These unlaw­ful Commands will stop the current of Love between Hus­band and Wife. For as the Wife is to ho­nour [Page 75]the Husband as her Head, so the Hus­band is no way to dis­honour, or seek to dishonour his Wife, but to honour her as the weaker Vessel, as a Coheir with him of the Grace of Life, as the Apostle directs, 1 Peter 3.7. This li­ving together as heirs of the Grace of Life, must be of the Hus­band to his Wife, as to a Companion, and Fellow in the Bonds of Marriage, as may be intimated, Mal. 2.14, 15, 16. For when God made the Wo­man, [Page 76]as he did not take her out of the Head of Adam, to be above him, so he did not take her out of Adams Feet, to be trampled upon; but out of his Side, near to his Heart, Gen. 2.21, 22. to be honoured and loved as his Fel­low Helper, and be­loved Companion. And this kind respect on both sides is an ex­cellent means and help to preserve Love between Husband and Wife to the end.

The thirteenth Di­rection, The thir­teenth Di­rection, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love, is, That both husband and wife be mutually carefull in their places for the preservation or in­crease of their Estate and Provision, and Government of their Houshold or Family, and provide both for the present and for the future. This care of the Husband, and his Duty, we may learn from that great Apostle, 1 Tim. 5.8. If any man provide not for his own, especially for those of his own Hou­shold, [Page 78]he hath denied the Faith, and is worse then an Infidel. That was good Counsel of Solomon, Prov. 27.23, 24. Be thou diligent to know the state of thy Flocks, and look well to thy Herds: For Riches are not for ever, and doth the Crown endure to e­very Generation? Pro­vidence is requisite to preserve an E­state.

I remember it is a­bove threescore years since when I was in Oxford, I did see a little Book of good Counsel, writ by a [Page 79]noble Lord to his Son, in which he advised his Son to divide his Estate into three parts. First, one part he might spend in or­dinary Expences, House-keeping, Ap­parrel, and such like. A second part lay aside for extraordinary oc­casions for himself and the Church and Com­mon-wealth. And a third part to lay up for increase of his Estate. If a man spend beyond his Estate, or live at the highest rate of his Incomings, he will be constrained to live of [Page 80]borrowing, and so of borrowing in the end, if in time he labour not to prevent. And for the wife also, Solo­mon giveth an excel­lent Description of a virtuous woman, as Prov. 31.10, 11, 12. to the end of that Chapter, read it at your leisure, Verses 27.28. He saith a virtuous woman, She looketh well to the wayes of her Houshold, and eateth not the Bread of idlenesse; her Children rise up and call her bles­sed, he Husband also, and he praiseth her, &c. He [Page 81]concludeth, Give her of the fruit of her Hands, and let her own workes praise her in the Gates. The good wife will consider her husbands estate, and not presse him to spend above power; She will do her husband good, and not hurt all the dayes of her life, Prov. 31.12. Thus whon there is a mutual providenti­al care of husband and wife for themselves, Family and Posterity. This is an especiall Gold-link of Love, to bind love fast between husband and wife.

The fourteenth Gold-link of Love followeth; The four­teenth Di­rection, or Gold link of Love. There ought to be a mutual care of, and for Edu­cation of their Chil­dren which God hath graciously given un­to them, as Jacob spake to his Brother Esau, Gen. 33.5. That they be taught and in­structed both in civil and spiritual Respects, both in divine and hu­mane Learning, ac­cording to the Ho­nour and Dignity of their Places and Cal­ling. It is King Solo­mon's Counsel, Prov. [Page 83]22.6. Teach a Child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it when he is old. Especially, that they be seasoned with the Catechism, and first principles of the Ora­cles of God, Heb. 5.12. and the Knowledge of God's will in the Sacred Scriptures, as blessed Timothy was, for which St. Paul giveth that excellent Testi­mony, you may read, 2 Tim. 3.15. That from a Child he had known the holy Scrip­tures, which are able to make us wise unto Sal­vation [Page 84]through Faith which is in Christ Jesus. This is life eternal to know God, the onely true God, and whom he hath sent Jesus Christ, John 17.3. For this care of instructing Children and Family, the Lord himself commended faithful Abraham, and maketh him of his se­cret Counsel; Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do? And he giveth this for one Reason, For I know him (saith the Lord) that he will Command his Children, and his Hou­shold [Page 85]after him to keep the way of the Lord, to do Justice and Judg­ment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spo­ken of him and his Po­sterity, Gen. 18.19. Again, this was God's Command to his Peo­ple Israel, That they should teach their Children diligently the Law and Word of the Lord, and thou shalt talk of them when thou art in thy House, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou risest up, as it is recorded, [Page 86] Deut. 6.6, 7. and this no doubt with holy reverence and devo­tion, as desirous to reveal God's mind to their Children and Family. And Chil­dren are commanded to hearken to their Parents instruction, Prov. 1.8. My Son, hear the Instruction of thy Father, and forget not the Law of thy Mo­ther; And again, Prov. 31.1. you may find the words of King Lemuel, the Prophecy which his Mother taught him. To con­clude, the Apostle St. [Page 87] Paul, Ephes. 6.1, 2, 3, 4. presseth the duty both of Children and Parents. First, Chil­dren obey your Pa­rents in all things, as it is fit in the Lord; and honour thy Father and Mother, which is the first Commande­ment, with promise, That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long in the Land: And Fathers, provoke not your Children to wrath, that they be not dis­couraged, but bring them up in the Nur­ture and Admonition [Page 88]of the Lord. Thus Children well instru­cted in the knowledge of God's mind, may be a joy to Parents, and Parents enjoy their Children as blessings from the Lord, and behold them as Olive branches round about their Table to God's Glory, Psal. 128. and as the Pledges of their mu­tual Love to each other: And this is an excellent Gold-link of Love, to preserve and keep mutual Conjugal Love between Hus­band and Wife.

The fifteenth Di­rection, The fifteenth Direction, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love, is, That the Husband and Wife, according to their du­ty, do live together, and not seperate the one from the other, except with consent for a time, upon most necessary occasions, or that they may give themselves to Fasting and Prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt them not, as St. Paul directeth, 1 Cor. 7.5. That so living lovingly toge­ther, as heirs of the Grace of life, they [Page 90]may be mutual Help­ers to each other in these Conjugal Du­ties. This Rule St. Peter giveth, 1 Pet. 3.7. Husbands dwell with your Wives, as men of Knowledge. And St. Paul, 1 Cor. 7.13. If a woman that believeth, hath a hus­band that believeth not (or is not a Chri­stian) yet if he please to dwell with her, let her not leave him; but continue, that she may be a help to him for his Soul, as well as for his Body and E­state: When God did [Page 91]make the woman, The Lord God said, It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a help meet for him, Gen. 2, 18. And a good wife will be a Helper for good, not a hinderance to her husband. God did make the woman to be a second-self, Mr. Ains­worth in Gen. 2. like him in nature, knit to him in Love, need­ful for Children help­ful in all Duties, pre­sent always with him, and so very meer and profitable as a joyful Companion in all e­states, in adversity, as well as in Prosperity, [Page 92]in Sickness as well as in Health, in Poverty as well as in a rich E­state. This requireth cohabitation, That the wife leave not the husband, nor the hus­band forsake the wife. Because this unjust and unchristian forsa­king of husband or wife, for light diffe­rences, for any thing less then that which is a sufficient ground for a lawful Divorce by the Law of God. This giveth occasion of sin, abateth love, and can­not expect a blessing from God; yea, this [Page 93]too often doth break off Love betwixt Hus­band and Wife, when cohabitation doth pre­serve Conjugal Love, and will do (if they live in the fear of God, and follow his Directions) to the end.

The sixteenth Di­rection, The six­teenth Di­rection, or or Gold­link of Love. or Gold-link of Love, to bind love fast, and prevent sin­ful Breaches betwixt husband and wife, is for both to learn that first lesson of a Chri­stian, which our Savi­our taught his Disci­ples, Math. 16.24. [Page 94]They must sometimes deny themselves, that is, their own wills and desires, passions and affections, bridle rash anger, and over-rule their passions; yea, their right sometimes for quietness sake, they must not be both self-willed, nor both an­gry at once, or at the same time. King So­lomon witnesseth, That he that is stow to Anger is better then the Migh­ty, and he that ruleth his Spirit, then he that taketh a City, Prov. 16.32. And a soft answer turneth away wrath; but [Page 95]grievous words stir up anger, Prov. 15.1. And again, that wise man, Prov. 19. Prov. 19.9, 19. It is better to dwell in a Cor­ner of the house top, then with a Brawling woman in a wide House; And again, verse 19. It is better to dwell in the Wilderness, then with a contentious and angry woman. And that Kingly Preacher a­gain, Eccles. 7.9. Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry, for anger rest­eth in the bosome of Fools. Simile. It was a witty conceit of the Father, who gave two Caps [Page 96]to his new married Son and Daughter, made fit for Solomons angry Fools, with this Contract, that they should never put them on both at once. But if the husband had put on his Cap, the wife should let hers lie still, not take it by any means; and the same direction to the wife: This is a means to enjoy peace. It was the moral mans Observation, Heratius. Latius reg­res avidum domande spiritum, &c. That a man should conquer more by ruling his spi­rit, then by conquer­ing the greatest Per­son [Page 97]in the World. And the Holy Spirit of God directs, that we should forbear one another in love, Co. 3.13. and the same Apostle exhorts to be long-suffering, this is our duty as Chri­stian in general, and the same is incumbent upon man and wife in particular, to yield sometimes to each o­ther in love.

That was an excel­lent example of Self-denyal, Example.which faith­ful Abraham gave, when his wife Sarah was angry with her [Page 98]Maid Hagar, whom she her self had given to her Husband to get Children, because she her self was barren, as you may read, Gen. 16.1, 2.

Abraham left her Maid at her Mistresse dispose, and she by her hard usage made her fly away. And this must needs be against Abraham's heart, that Hagar should be so hardly used and con­strained to fly away; whom he had gotten with Child by his Wives consent, and no doubt had affection [Page 99]for her; yet Abraham condescends to his wife, for Abraham said unto Sarah, Thy Maid is in thy hand, do to her as it pleaseth thee. Again, when Sarah had brought forth Isaac, and Sarah did see Is­mael the Son of Hagar mocking of her Son Isaac; She calleth to Abraham her Hus­band, Put away the Bond-woman and her Son, for the Son of the Bond-woman shall not be heir with my Son, even with Isaac, Gen. 21.10, 11. This thing was very grie­vous [Page 100]in Abraham's sight, because of his Son Ismael, yet (as God directs him) he yieldeth to his wife; and putteth away Hagar and Ismael out of doors, and then all was at peace. Thus sometimes a sweet Condescen [...]sin in things lawful, is a sweet well-pleasing means to preserve Love between Hus­band and Wife; And as the Husband, so the Wife is to labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to be of a self-denying, submit­ting, [Page 101]meek and quiet spirit, which in the eyes of the Lord is a thing much set by, witnesse Saint Peter, 1 Pet. 3.4.

For a Wife to de­ny her self, Example.and her own will, for the love of her Husband, is a means to preserve Love, and prevent the danger of separa­tion. Had Queen Vasti denyed her self to please her Hus­bands fancy of shew­ing her Beauty to his Guests (as he desired) Hester 1.11, 12. she might have prevented [Page 102]his anger, and conti­nued Queen to her death in all likeli­hood. Thus you see the passing by of occa­sions of anger, and a loving condescending to each others lawful desires, is an excellent Gold-link of Love, and means to preserve Love between Hus­band and Wife during Lives.

The seventeenth Direction, The seven­teenth Di­rection, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love now fol­loweth: This is to exercise spiritual wis­dome, how and when to speak one to ano­ther [Page 103]of any thing that is not well done, or said by either party, or that they perceive is contrary to either of their minds or affecti­ons, or not for their profit, safety or ho­nour; A word fitly spoken in due season, how good is it, saith King Solomon? Prov. 15.23. And Prov. 25.11. A word fitly spoken, is like Apples of Gold in pictures of Sil­ver. And the king­ly Preacher telleth us, there is a time for all things, Eccles. 3.1. For that which is spo­ken [Page 104]may be well taken at one time, which will not be so well resented at another time.

For Example, Example.when Churlish covetous Nabal had used Da­vids young men un­kindly, and brought himself and Family in great danger, we see Abigail meeting David with a Present, and pacifieth David, and prevents his shedding of Blood, as you may read, 1 Sam. 25.26. and returning home, she findeth her Hus­band keeping a Feast [Page 105]like a King, and merry with Wine; for he was very Drunken, verse 36. wherefore she told him nothing less or more, untill the morning. But it came to pass in the morning, when the Wine was gone out of Nabal, then she told him these things, and then he was sensible of his folly to the full, 1 Sam. 25.37. 1 Sam. 25.37. Thus when a Husband or Wife is in any Di­stemper, drunken with Wine or strong drink, or with any passion or discontent; it is wis­dome [Page 106]to forbear spea­king, and to observe a sit time, and in a lo­ving manner to de­clare mildly and peaceably what was a failing on either part, and that with meeknesse of spirit; For a soft Answer turn­eth away wrath, but grievous words stir up Anger, as we noted before, Prov. 15.10. The Apostle St. James his direction is good, James 1.19, 20. Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of Man work­eth not the righteousness [Page 107]of God. Thus spiri­tual policy, yea, even civil wisdome is one special help to quench the fire of jars and un­necessary fallings out, and to preserve Con­jugal Love between Husband and Wife during their lives.

An eighteenth Di­rection, The eigh­teenth Di­rection, or Gold-link of Love. or Gold-link of Love, in this Gol­den Chain of Love, is to be of a well-plea­sing quiet spirit to­ward each other, not seeking quarrels, but rather seeking to please one another in Love in the Lord; this [Page 108]duty St. Paul intimat­eth, 1 Cor. 7.33, 34. The married man careth for the things of this World, how he may please his wife, and the married woman how she may please her Hus­band. The Apostle holdeth this out (I humbly conceive) not only as a practice, but as a Christian duty al­so, to be careful both Husband and Wife, to please one another in all things lawful and convenient in the Lord; for Rom. 15.1, 2, 3. He giveth this Rule for Christians in [Page 110]general, That the strong ought to bear the Infirmities of the weak, and not to please our selves; But let every one please his Neighbour to Edi­fication. Now if this be the duty of all Christians to please one another for their good; Then much more of Husbands and Wives to be well-pleasing to each other, not to be contentious or quarrelsome, or cross for Trifles, or small Matters; but to be wise, and seek to please, and give con­tent [Page 110]to each other, ac­cording to their Du­ties and Places. This is heavenly wisdome, saith St. James, which is from above, and is first pure, then peace­able, gentle, and easie to be intreated, full of mercy, and good fruits, without par­tiality, and without hypocrisie, James 3.17, 18. And this wis­dome ought to be be­tween Husband and Wife, to be peace­able, not troublesome to each other. For as the wise man speak­eth, He that troubleth [Page 111]his own House, shall in­herit the Wind, and the Fool shall be servant to the wise in heart, Prov. 11.29. And Prov. 19.13, 11. A foolish Son is the calamity of his Father, and the conten­tions of a Wife are a continual dropping; it will rot a house in time. And again, Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of Fa­thers; But a prudent Wife is from the Lord, Prov. 19.14. A conten­tious Wife will trouble a Family, and bring dis­quietness to a quiet Hus­band. Therefore the [Page 112]Wife is to be peace­able, and the same ought to be the care of the Husband, not to be captious & chiding with his Wife for e­very small thing he seeth amisse; But to follow the Apostles Rule, 1 Thess. 4.11. Study to be quiet, es­pecially with his Wife. This is a hope­ful means to prevent disturbance in a Fami­ly, and to preserve Conjugal Love be­tween Husband and Wife. The nine­teenth Di­rection, or Gold-link of Love.

The nineteenth Di­rection, or Gold-link [Page 113]of Love, is to learn and act St. Paul his practice, as it is recor­ded, Phil. 4.11, 12, 13. If a Man hath married a Wife, or a Woman a Husband, which proveth not ac­cording to expectati­on. First, it may be a cross or careless Hus­band, or one that is tyrannical over his Wife, to make her his Slave, or his Servant, or otherwise; that is, a daily vexation to his provident and pious good Wife; a com­mon Tavern or Ale­house-Haunter, or a [Page 114]desperate Gamester, a mispender of his pre­cious time or estate in idle or evil Company, neglecting his Calling and Houshold occasi­ons; 1 Sam. 25.17, &c. or a Nabal, a Churlish Clown, and ingratefull as Nabal was: Or that a Hus­band hath failed of his expectation, and hath met with a riotous mispending Wife, or one that is perverse, and unquiet, or con­trary to the Apostles Rule, will usurp au­thority over the Man, which she ought not, 1 Tim. 2.12. If she [Page 115]prove sickly or disea­sed, weak, and unable to perform all Duties; yet if she be faithful to him in the Marriage Covenant, to keep her onely to him so long as they both shall live. If God lay his Hand upon them with, or in Tryals and Troubles, Losses and Crosses in the World, they must both labour by the Power and Grace of Christ, to submit to God's Providence, and to be content with their Lot and Condi­tion. It may be God [Page 116]did leave thee to thy self in the Choice of Wife, or of thy Hus­band, for tryal of thy Faith or Patience, or other Graces: Good Patient Job had not the best Wife, that was so unkind to him in his great Affliction, as you may read, Job 19.17. It may be God saw it best for thee to have such a Wife, or such a Hus­band, to humble thee, or for other ends, and all for thy good, which all things must be; If thou love God, and art called by [Page 117]Christ to repent and believe on him, accor­ding to God's pur­pose, as St. Paul, Rom. 8.28. Therefore to study Piety and con­tentment shall be your great gain in the end, as the Spirit of God witnesseth, 1 Tim. 6.6. Labour then by Love to amend what you find amiss in each other, and that by all fair means. This will be a way to prevent worse evils, and to preserve Conjugal Love between Hus­bands and Wives whilst they live.

The twentieth and last Direction, A twenti­eth Di­rection, or Gold-link of love. or Gold link of Love, to pre­serve Love between Husbands and wives, which I shall give at this time, is, to pray constantly and piously with Faith and Fer­vency to God as re­conciled in Christ, There is Grace, and Wisdome, and strength in Christ to inable you to perform these and all other Duties re­quired of you. Read Joh. 1.16. Joh. 15.5. Col. 1.19. Col. 2.3. Phil. 4.11, 12, 13. both for and with one another, not in pri­vate onely in your Fa­mily, but in secret in your Closets (if possi­bly it may be) That the most blessed God will in and for the Merits of Christ, par­don all Sins, heal all [Page 119]Infirmities, and by his free Grace in Christ supply all defects, and reform whatsoever is found amiss either in Husband or Wife, and by the Power and Spirit and Grace of Christ to inable them to perform all Duties; first to God, then to each other with care and faithfulness; yea, to all other Superiors, Inferiors, or equally so to live together as Heirs of the Grace of Life, that your Pray­ers be not hindred. The Husband may say to the Wife, 1 Pet. 3.7. and the [Page 120]Wife to her Hus­band, as Samuel said to the Israelites, 1 Sam. 12.23. God forbid I should sin against the Lord, in ceasing to pray for you. Prayer is a Duty incumbent upon all to practice daily: And the fervent Pray­er of God's Children is effectuall, James 5.16, 17. If any be temp­ted to any Sin, pray as St. Paul did, 2 Cor. 12.7, 8, 9. Isaac prayed for his Wife, and God heard him, and gave her Chil­dren, Genesis 25.21. Hannah she prayed for a Son, and God gave her the Request of her Soul, 1 Sam. 2.23. What should I tell [Page 121]you, That Monica, St. Augustins good Mo­ther did pray for her Son, and the Lord heard her; and fulfil­led her desires. What greater encourage­ment can be? or need to be to this duty, Pray till God answer. Joh. 16.23. then that gracious Promise of our Saviour, That whatsoever we ask the Father in his Name, he will give it us, Joh. 16.3. Oh then, my Be­loved in Christ, Pray as Jacob did. Gen. 32.26. Hosea 12.4. be sure to practice this duty of Prayer, not onely in publick in the Congregations, joyn with the publick [Page 122]Prayers of the Church. But in pri­vate in your Families, and in secret in your Closets daily. Persevere in prayer, untill God bless you, Rom. 12.12. And if you have not Pray­er-Books to answer every Dispensation, and to direct you in particular Petitions; according to your present Necessities (as who hath); Then learn and labour to be able your selves by the help of the Spirit of Prayer and Supplica­tion, promised to Gods Church and Children, Zach. 12.10. To make your Request known [Page 123]unto God upon all occasions; Read Phil. 4.6, 7. The peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Je­sus. Math. 7.7, 8. Husbands for your Wives, and Wives for your Hus­bands; and both for your Children; with the greatest reve­rence, and the best ex­pressions you can as to your heavenly Father, who biddeth Ask; and you shall have. Thus may you obtain this great Blessing, That Love may continue firm and constant be­tween Husband and Wife, whilest you live to your comfort, and joy in Christ Je­sus for ever; which [Page 124]that it may be by Gods Blessing, and shall be my daily Prayer for you all. And that all Honour and Glory may be gi­ven to God the Fa­ther, God the Son, and God the blessed Spirit, now and for ever, Amen.