ADVICE TO A PAINTER. In a POEM to a FRIEND.
Printed for J. Davies, 1681.
To the Marshall Royalists, the Right Honourable, the Right Worshipfull and truly Noble Members of the LOYAL SOCIETY, united in a Glorious Artillery in the City of Bristol.
YOur voluntary entrance into this Loyal Band, is as great a Specimen (methinks) of your particular Valours, as that of lapping the Waters amongst ( a) Gideons Souldiers, when he was to fight the Midianites, and to shew you how ignorant your Adversaries are in the design of the holy Writ, like their Forefathers of Rebellion that mistook the Text of ( b) Curse ye Meroz, when they went out like Fools and Knaves to help the Lord against the Mighty,) they upbraid to you, forsooth, the ( a) paucity of your Numbers, (in an [Page] empty Libel) which alone shews you to be under the Banners of the Lord of Hosts, who reduced the Armies of Two and thirty thousand to Three hundred, because they were too many for him to overcome by: You are those few (my hearts) pickt out on purpose to doe his Wonders, at whose first sight the late ( d) Sharer of the Government marched off with his ragged Regiment, like a nasty Fog, before the Sun ascending to his Meridian, or Oreb and Zeeb, before the Sword of the Lord, and of Gideon, for they (and none other) can be truly said to wield either of those Weapons, but men in your Circumstances, commissioned by your Liege-Lord (who alone has power to grant them) for your so doing.
[Page]I am informed that ( f) Six or Seven empty Bottles at first, one of which is since crackt, and another quite broken, clubb'd to the making up of One Billingsgate Logerhead, and he advised a Painter very scurrilously, and dully, to traduce you all in general, and particularly those of the first rate amongst you: I confess, ever since that senseless Ribaldry came to my view, I have been disputing which of Solomon's Advices to follow, whether to answer a Fool in his Folly, or not, were the best way to appear in your vindication. But upon better thoughts, I have advised a Painter (in the ensuing Poem) to exhibit such Calumniators in their Colours; that the World may see what sort of People those Opposers of Government are called out on; the ignorance and scurrility of whom, I am so great a hater of, that I have avoided treading in their steps, by particularizing either Place, or Person: so that none but the guilty (who ought to suffer) can be offended at it; yet they also may escape the punishment if they have the Wit to hold their Tongues, for when one Rogue is described amongst a thousand Persons, who but a Fool will declare himself to be the Man, by quarrelling with the Painter for his draught: it follows then, that a Man [Page] may be a Knave unknown to his Neighbours, if he cunningly carries it off by Silence; but if he uncovers himself by Passion, then we must conclude him a Fool, and a Knave too, and so I'le leave him, for ‘Nemo me impunè lacessit.’
Gentlemen, I shall use no other Argument to perswade your Acceptance of this Dedication, but to tell you, it was design'd to expose the King's and your Enemies; and Written by one that honours your Design, loves your Persons, and (as you are all Sons of the Church of England) is
TO THE READER.
THIS Advice to a Painter was Writ about July, 1680. when insolence to Majesty, and Magistracy, was more fashionable than (I thank God) now it is. And has hitherto expected the good hour to walk abroad in, when Loyalty may take the Air without fear of Thieves and Robbers. It came to me from an unknown hand, and was design'd it seems to Sham some foolish scurrilous Poetasters, that had then Libell'd all the King's true Subjects in this City.
[Page]If I knew the Author, I'de tell you my Name also, for then you might ask the Question, I declare I cannot answer. Ergo, &c.
ADVICE TO A PAINTER.
CANTO I.
CANTO II.
CANTO III.
TO MY FRIEND Mr. ΑΝΤΙΘΕΟΦΟΡΗΤΟΣ.
I Have perused your advice to the Painter, and the design pleases me so well that I wish it was Printed, and as intelligible as your Scholia's upon it could make it, for if those few enclosed parts of it, (which I here purposely send you) were explain'd, I am of opinion it would live for ever, to be the mirror of Schismaticks, and consequently a stop to the Career of Disobedience, especially to the sincere Bigots; for when they shall see by this Glass, how ugly they appear in such Communities, and enquire into the villany of their respective Teachers; they will for shame acquit their Conventicles, and come (as the King commands them by his Laws) to serve God in their own Parish Churches, at the proper times appointed. I have given you my Opinion, with liberty to pursue your own, and remain
To my Worthy FRIEND Mr. T. G.
I Thank you for your Advice, which was not given in vain, as will appear by my Annotations upon those places, which you think to be obscure, which at your request appear now in publick, as followeth,
NOTES upon the Epistle Dedicatory.
(a) Gideons Souldiers.] The Story of Gideon routing Oreb and Zeeb, and the Midianites, see in the Seventh Chapter of Judges.
(b) Curse ye Meroz] Was denounced against those that assisted not their lawfull King, which our Rebels made use on in our late Civil War, to curse those that did not assist the Vsurpers against him.
(c) The paucity of your number.] The scurrilous ignorant advice to a Painter, which abused the Artillery, reproached them for that their number did not amount to the years of the Age of man: which Story (had it been true, alluding to the Lappers that beat the Midianites) the Dedicator accounts to their Praise.
(d) Sharer, &c.] An Officer set up by himself, without any Authority undertook to teach the use of Arms in Bristol, routed by the Artillery who are commissionated for what they doe; this vanquish'd Officer, for saying he was a Sharer in the Government, was indicted at Wells Assises.
(e) Hinc illae lachrimae.] The Artillery that came in their places exasperated them to make their railing Libels, which abused the Loyal Nobility, and Gentry amongst them.
(f) Six or Seven] We have an Account of so many that club'd to the making those senseless Verses, and 'tis said one of the Poetasters is mad, and another dead since.
NOTES upon the First Canto.
(a) Hieroglyphicks] Or Images of things, by which (as we by Letters) the Egyptians were wont to express themselves, as a Dove for Innocence, a Serpent for Wisdom, so a blind She-bear for a Corporation that's led by the Nose by one of her Members, as the Bears are by their Bear-wards.
(b) Paris-garden Bar] Or the Bear garden at London, where the Dog and Bear is Plaintiff and Defendant, and the Bear-ward and Butcher plead their causes.
(c) Tipt at both ends] The description of a Bear-ward's Staff.
(d) Bruin] A Romantick name for a Bear.
(e) Lean hers, &c.] Haughty Pride, and insolent Ambition, will chuse rather to quit their Principles than be thought to lose their Authority.
NOTES upon the Second Canto.
(a) Anarchy] Or Confusion, a multitude of hare-brain'd People of several perswasions.
(b) Crop] Stands here for a Non-conformist, or a Tub-Preacher.
(c) Lordain] An idle Dunce, or Block-head.
(d) Ursa Major] Or this great She-blind Bear, the Hieroglyphick of a Corporation.
(e) Monkies, Baboons, &c.] These Imitators only of Mankind I take to be fit Representatives for such spawn as will never come to perfection.
(f) Novices] As the cunning Fryars instruct the Novices their Disciples, so you'll find in the next Canto [Page 13] (when the Cubs grow more docible) the Bear-ward turn'd School-master, and Lecturing them into Rebellion.
(g) Barking Bear-ward, &c.] Or snarling ill condition'd Fellow, who for the care of the Young may properly enough be styled their Sire; and the Sire of Cubs, as properly the Son of a Bear, and at this juncture of time, when his Bear's whelping may as well be termed her Mid-wife.
(h) Green Bear] Green is a common Epithete for Females in the Straw.
(i) Neat-heards, &c.] This alludes to a little piece of superstition which the Country people use, carefully attending their calving Cows, lest they should eat their after Burthen, which they commonly throw upon a Hawthorn Bush, with stedfast belief that they shall have a Cow-calf the next year after.
(k) Heame] The same in Beasts, as the Secundine, or Skin that the young is Wrapped in.
(l) Nomenclator] Or a Name-giver, the Nonconformist Tub-preacher, which is introduced to baptize the Cubs.
(m) Bedminster] i.e. A place near Bristol, where there was a Hen brought forth a Cat; else they lye who made Affidavit of its truth before the Magistrate there.
(n) Leaper-cleanser] A Medicinal Bath.
(o) Rhosnes-stream] The River that runs through the Lake of Lemane to Geneva, from whence flows that poysonous Spring of Presbyterianism.
(p) Gossips] Fit Witnesses to Sedition are Knox and Buchannan, Scotch Rebells in Queen Elizabeth's days; Wat Tyler and Jack Straw, Rebels to King Richard the Second; Sir John Oldcastle, Rebel to King Henry the Fifth; Major Wier and Hexam late Rebels in Scotland, hang'd at Edinburrough (for the murther [Page 14] of the Archbishop of S. Andrews) with many other such hypocritical Religionaries, or pretended Protestants of integrity, which they call Whigs amongst them.
(q) Northern Bear] A coelestial Constellation, in form of a Bear about the North Pole.
(r) Jordan's Laver] The River Jordan is the common Appellative for any Stream, or Pond, where the Anabaptists dip their Proselytes.
(s) Sectators] Apt Gossips, or Witnesses, at such a Baptism were Tom Muncer and his Partner Phipher, with Nicholas Stock the first broachers of Anabaptism in Germany, about the Year 1525. Banisht thence by Frederick Elector of Saxony, for their Rebellious Doctrines; afterwards they and their numerous party were routed by the Duke of Saxony, and the Lantgrave, 5000 of them slain, and 300 taken Prisoners, and themselves Beheaded at Mulhuse; then Jack Becold, alias Jack of Leyden, a Tayler; Tuscoverer, a Goldsmith; and Knipperdolling, an inconsiderable Fellow, follows the steps of the abovesaid Rebels, and propagates their erroneous Principles in the City of Munster, about the Year 1533. where they increased to that Insolency, that Jack of Leyden, the Tayler, consecrates Tuscoverer, the Goldsmith, a Prophet; and in requital he crowns Jack of Leyden, the Tayler, King; by whose damnable and (for some time) successfull practices the City of Munster was ruin'd.
(t) Sheath-tayl] As a Scabbard to a Blade, or a Sheath to a Knife; so is the Tayl of a Wasp to its Sting.
(u) Antinomian] Or one that's against all Law.
(w) Pinn, Wall] For Center and Circumference, for as in a Cylinder, or long Figure, if a man was to express its Contents, he would naturally enough say, from the one end to the other; so in a wall'd City, which is supposed [Page 15] to be round, the Contents are expressible from the Center to the Circumference, which Center I call Pinn, and Circumference, Wall; for that I wanted two Monasyllables to make up my Verse. This I think is obvious enough, and had past without a Comment, had not some ill minded men made another Interpretation, by way of Derision, to a Godly Presbyterian of that Name, one Thomas Wall (a Bookseller by Vsurpation, tho' as much a Goldsmith as Tuscoverer the aforesaid Prophet, &c.) who was taken in a carnal manner upon one Pinn's Wife, a Carpenter in the Marsh belonging to that City, if you'll believe the Affidavit made before the Magistrates there; but the Poet clears himself you see of the allusion, and concludes this Scholion with the Motto borrow'd from the Garter, viz. Honi soit qui male panse.
(x) Brownist] A Sect taking its name from a silly Fellow whose Name was Brown, as some hold a Rigider sort of Independant, for whose Baptism the Tanfat is well enough a colour.
(y) Adamite] A lacivious sort of Enthusiasts, that ran up and down Naked, pretending Antiquity for their Religion, which was before all Cloaths were invented, nay, prior to the Aprons made of Fig-leaves, which were the first Garments.
(z) Chiliast] A Millenary or Fifth Monarchy man, that expects Christ shall come upon earth a thousand Years before the Resurrection.
(&) Muckhiltonian] A sordid Sect, or Schism, lately reported in Ireland, by one Muckhilton, now in Newgate for his horrid Blasphemies.
NOTES on the Third Canto.
(a) Demas Bear-ward] Demas was an Apostate, [Page 16] which I here call the Bear-ward, because the Poet now makes him a School-master.
(b) Pedant] Or School-master instructing the Rebellious body to get a head.
(c) Drapery] A term amongst Lymners for the Garments or Cloaths they represent in painting.
(d) Orbilius] Was so curs'd and severe a School-master that Horace calls him Plagosus Orbilius.
(e) Monarchy] Or Kingly Government.
(f) Pride and Noll] They were but Brewers, before Rebellion raised one to be a Protector, and the other a Colonel: Desburrough also was then a Plow-man, Barkestead a Thimble-maker, and Hewson a Cobler; afterwards made Lords by the same Rebellion.
(g) Four in Decimals] That is, 40. and eight, 80. Here the Rebellious Orator exhorts his Cubs, à fortiori, shewing them, that as inconsiderable Rascals as they are now in 1680. their Forefathers in Rebellion were in 1640. and hints it to them by way of shame, having Forty more Years experience, if they arrive not at the same Dignities.
(h) Croisada] The Popes Bull for the Sign of the Cross to Christians warring against Infidels.
(i) Renegadoe] One that deserts his Colours, his Principles, and Religion for interest.
(k) Wealth and Power] We have seen Magna Charta once run down, and Rhimed at in derision, by a potent Vsurper, who arrived at that height of greatness, only by well managing such cursed Cubs as are described in this Poem.