THe briefe reason of Archy's banishment was this.

A Noble man asking what he would doe with his handsome daughters, hee replyed he knew very well what to doe with them, but hee had sonnes which he knew not well what to doe with; hee would gladly make Shollers of them, but that he feared the Arch-Bishop would cut off their eares.

Why I was exiled from Court having my jesting coate pluckt off, few men are ignorant of, neither doe I much care who knowes of it, in so much as my Antigonist hath now no pow­er to apprehend them; if they should vouch­safe a blundering murmour in my behalfe, my name is as famous abroad, as hee infamous: I would not have his litle Grace know so much if he were in authority at Lambeth, house now, for the price of a paire of new shooes eares and all.

The Authour.

Most (ingenious) Archy, scarce more Mun­dane felicity would I bee ambitious to inioy, than to arive at so happie a Haven of know­ledge, by which sufficiently I might (without criticall censure) divulge thy witty, admirable parts: when thou wert sayling on the mayne Neptune was then ioyfull of so rare a burthen, and thought it unfit to carry a wrinkled front, but smiled upon the, as if he would have wooed thee to have been his companion, that thereby the watery Nymphs; after their sports done, seeming pensive for their Metamorphosis, they might have beene infused with enforced alacrity: but storming Boreas owing thee an ill office, broke prison, and in spight of Neptune Shipwracist the Pinnace which so long shee bore, and cast thee on a most unhappie shore.

But yet now at length receive comfort, Bo­reas is imprisoned, and Zephyrus with gentle gales doth blow, I am certaine well thou knowest it, I am sorry thou ever knevvst to the contrary; for me thinke it should bee unfit to make thy Muse que semper [...], vvhich alvvaies vvas merry, goe vvith blubbard cheekes: but time vvhich bringes all things to passe, hath brought him (thy adversary, I meane into farre greater then ever thou vvert in. Of vvhom not since thou dreamedst, vvhich give me licence to declare unto all men vvhich shall desire to knovv it.

[Page] Archy (sometimes Iester to his Maiesty) was upon a night being prostrated upon his bed, (to take naturall rest,) very much troubled by meditating of the Arch Bishop Lauds, unlawfull actions. First by thinking how hee being a cler­gy man, delighted in nothing but exactions and then anon of the unheard of mallice, hee bore against him; thus long time tumbling, and tossing, upon his unquiet bed, at length, Mor­pheus, with his leaden maule arrested him, and then for a time was he still. But not long so, but he was disturbed in his sleep, and dreamed after this manner.

The Dreame.

How that he was placed, on a pinnacle which reached farre above Phoebe's diocesse and a little below him, he saw a poore Scholler, which was delivering of a petition to one of the Starrs, which so soone as shee received it, caught a fall and so lost the Petition, upon which the Schol­ler was forst to descend for another petition, which he thought was presently done, but by that time he was lifted up into Phoebus his cha­riot, by the reason of which splendour, he could soone perceive any terrestiall creatures. But yet he could deceive the poore scholler, as any as high as Phoebus, to whom he delivered his peti­tion, and shee to Phaebus, who tooke it, and read it, the contents were these.

I the most unfortunate of the whole tribe of Levi, by spirituall assistance, have had the pri­viledge [Page] to declare my grievances which are these.

First we are abused by such a flat cap citizen, who if he perceive one of us at one side of the way, hee will be sure to crosse over, on purpose to take the wall of him. Calling the scholler sau­cy rascall, if he but offer to withstand him.

Secondly, those which are able to buy great personages, have them, although they have had never any nurture in an Academy, except out of a library of notes, borrowed of some old clarke, or other, which he in former time had gathe­red at severall places.

Thirdly if we be not made of cannon proofe, wee are in danger of Episcopall censure.

Fourthly, vve must not preach more then the Arch-Bishop of Canterbury, William Laud, will allovv off. For feare of the forfeiture of our eares. From these and the like greevances, we most humbly desire great Iove to deliver us.

Which Petition was no sooner read, But Canterbury, was presented to my view, who looked more like a spirit come out of purgato­ry, then one ready, to receive the Papall diadem me thought I was straight, descended from Heaven to Hell, where I saw blind Bonner, and Woolsey dancing a galliard, whipt forward by a company of Hellish haggs, the three furies danced for females, Pluto set to see the pas­time, be hind whom set a company of men ma­king chayres, who as fast as they made chayres they were filled, only on was set by for whom [Page] I asked, they answered for Laud; against he came thither all, which time were the three Arch-Priests dancing, but anon, I saw a com­pany of people which preferred bills against Canterbury, why Rhadamant had the perusing, who passed his iudgement thus upon him say­ing.

It is but fit that he against whom that bil was preferred, should be for ever banished Elizium because the law for his hainous offences did re­quire the same, at which poore Canterbury qua­ked, and trembled; like a leafe ready to drop downe in Antumne: upon whom Cerberus lookt very wishly that he might know when he saw him again, by and by me thought a troop of the chiefe Regents servants took him and bound him hand and foot, and so threw him into , [...]a­rons boate, which the followers of Pluto, made such an horrible noise, which awaked mee: not­withstanding for a time I lay speachlesse, not knowing where I was, at length I came to my selfe, and so soone as I arose, I went to a noble friend of mine, and told him my dreame, who said to me, (that the day before) Canterbury was carried into the Towre.

For which Archy said he was very sorry, but could not cry: by this may a man perceive that though a man be never so Honorable, Puissant, Rich or Learned, yet if his vices Obnubilate his vertues, he shall not be respected, but farre more contemned and abhorred then if hee had never had such guifts bestowed upon him. [Page] Why there is at this time scarce a child in the street, but dares speake against him, which not long since no man durst speak a sillable against, but that it should have beene esteemed as pet­tie treason.

But now the times are changed, and his pompe altered, and hee now waites for a tryall which heretofore tryed so many.