DEVOTIONS.
1. Insultus Morbi primus; The first alteration, The first grudging of the sicknesse.
1. MEDITATION.
VAriable, and therfore miserable condition of Man; this minute I was well, and am ill, this minute. I am surpriz'd with a sodaine change, [Page 2] & alteration to worse, and can impute it to no cause, nor call it by any name. We study Health, and we deliberate vpon our meats, and drink, and Ayre, and exercises, and we hew, and wee polish euery stone, that goes to that building; and so our Health is a long & a regular work; But in a minute a Canon batters all, ouerthrowes all, demolishes all; a Sicknes vnpreuented for all our diligence, vnsuspected for all our [Page 3] curiosi [...]ie; nay, vndeserued, if we consider only disorder, summons vs, seizes vs, possesses vs, destroyes vs in an instant. O miserable condition of Man, which was not imprinted by God; who as hee is immortall himselfe, had put a coale, a beame of Immortalitie into vs, which we might haue blowen into a flame, but blew it ou [...], by our first sinne; wee beggard our selues by hearkning after false riches, and infatuated our [Page 4] selues by hearkning after false knowledge. So that now, we doe not onely die, but die vpon the Rack, die by the torment of sicknesse; nor that onely, but are pre-afflicted, super-afflicted with these ielousies and suspitions, and apprehensions of Sicknes, before we can cal it a sicknes; we are not sure we are ill; one hand askes the other by the pulse, and our eye askes our own vrine, how we do. O multiplied misery [Page 5] we die, and cannot enioy death, because wee die in this torment of sicknes; we are tormented with sicknes, & cannot stay till the torment come, but pre-apprehē sions and presages, prophecy those torments, which induce that death before either come [...] and our dissolution is conceiued in these first changes, quickned in the sicknes it selfe, and borne in death, which be [...]res date from these first changes. Is this the honour which [Page 6] Man hath by being a litle world, That he hath these earthquakes in him selfe, sodaine shakings; these lightnings, sodaine flashes; these thunders, sodaine noises; these E [...]clypses, sodain offuscations, & darknings of his senses; these blazing stars sodaine fiery exhalations; these riuers of blood, sodaine red waters? Is he a world to himselfe onely therefore, that he ha [...]h inough in himself, not only to destroy, and execute himselfe, but to [Page 7] presage that execution vpon himselfe; to as [...]ist the sicknes, to antidate the sicknes, to make the sicknes the more irremediable, by sad apprehensions, and as if hee would make a fire the more vehement, by sprinkling water vpon the coales, so to wrap a hote feuer in cold Melancholy, least the feuer alone shold not destroy fast enough, without this contribution, nor perfit the work (which is destruction) except we [Page 8] ioynd an artificiall sicknes, of our owne melancholy, to our natural, our vnnaturall feuer. O perplex'd discomposition, O ridling distemper, O miserable condition of Man.
1. EXPOSTVLATION.
IF I were but meere dust & ashes, I might speak vnto the Lord, for the Lordes hand made me of this dust, and the Lords hand shall recollect [Page 9] these ashes; the Lords hand was the wheele, vpon which this vessell of [...]lay was framed, and the Lordes hand is the Vrne, in which these ashes shall be preseru'd. I am the dust, & the ashes of the Temple of the H. Ghost; and what Marble is so precious? But I am more then dust & ashes; I am my best part, I am my soule. And being so, the breath of God, I may breath back these pious expostulations to my God. My God, my God, why is [Page 10] not my soule, as fensible as my body? Why hath not my soule these apprehensions, these presages, these changes, those antidates, those iealousies, those suspitions of a sinne [...] as well as my body of a sicknes? why is there not alwayes a pulse in my Soule, to beat at the approch of a tentation to sinne? why are there not alwayes waters in mine eyes, to testifie my spiritual sicknes? I stand in the way of tentations, (naturally, necessarily, [Page 11] all men doe so: for there is a Snake in euery path, tentations in euery vocation) but I go, I run, I flie into the wayes of tētation, which I might shun; nay, I breake into houses, wher the plague is; I presse into places of tentation, and tempt the deuill himselfe, and solicite & importune them, who had rather be left vnsolicited by me. I fall sick of Sin, and am bedded and bedrid, buried and putrified in the practise of Sin, and all this [Page 12] while ha [...]e no presage, no pulse, no sense of my sicknesse; O heighth, O depth of misery, where the first Symptome of the sicknes is Hell, & where I neuer fee the feuer of lust, of enuy, of ambition, by any other light, then the darknesse and horror of Hell it selfe [...] & where the first Messenger that speaks to me doth not say [...] Thou mayst die, no, nor Thou must die, but Thou art dead: and where the first notice, that my Soule hath of [Page 13] her sicknes, is irrecouerablenes, irremediablenes: but, O my God, Iob did not charge thee foolishly, in his temporall afflictions, nor may I in my spirituall. Thou hast imprinted a pulse in our Soule, but we do not examine it; a voice in our conscience, but wee doe not hearken vnto it. We talk it out, we iest it out, we drinke it out, we sleepe it out; and when wee wake, we doe not say with Iacob, Gen. 28.16. Surely the Lord is in this place, and I [Page 14] knew it not: but though we might know it, we do not, we wil not. But will God pretend to make a Watch, and leaue out the springe? to make so many various wheels in the faculties of the Soule, and in the organs of the body, and leaue out Grace, that should moue them? or wil God make a springe, and not wind it vp? Infuse his first grace, & not second it with more, without which, we can no more vse his first grace, when [Page 15] we haue it, then wee could dispose our selues by Nature, to haue it? But alas, that is not our case; we are all prodigall sonnes, and not disinherited; wee haue receiued our portion, and misspent it, not bin denied it. We are Gods tenants heere, and yet here, he, our Land-lord payes vs Rents; not yearely, nor quarterly, but hourely, and quarterly; Euery minute he renewes his mercy, but wee will not vnderstand, Mat. 13 [...] 16. least that we should [Page 16] be conuerted, and he should heale vs.
1. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most gracious God, who considered in thy selfe, art a Circle, first and last, and altogether; but considered in thy working vpon vs, art a direct line, and leadest vs from our beginning, through all our wayes, to our end, enable me by thy grace, to looke forward to [Page 17] mine end, and to looke backward to, to the cō siderations of thy mercies afforded mee from the beginning; that so by that practise of considering thy mercy, in my beginning in this world, when thou plā tedst me in the Christian Church, and thy mercy in the beginning in the other world, whē thou writest me in the Booke of life, in my Election, I may come to a holy consideration of thy mercy, in the beginning [Page 18] of all my actions here [...] That in all the begin [...]nings, in all the accesses and approches of spiri [...]tuall sicknesses of Sinn, may heare and hearke [...] to that voice, 2 Reg. 4.40. O thou Ma [...] of God, there is death in th [...] pot, and so refraine from that, which I was so hungerly, so greedily flying to. Prou. 13.17. A faithfull Am [...]bassador is health, says thy wise seruant Solomon [...] Thy voice receiued, in the beginning of a sicknesse, of a sinne, is true health. If I can see that [Page 19] light betimes, and heare that voyce early, Then shall my light breake forth as the morning, Esa. 58.8 and my health shall spriug foorth speedily. Deliuer mee therefore, O my God, from these vaine imaginations; that it is an ouercurious thing, a dangerous thing, to come to that tendernesse, that rawnesse, that scrupulousnesse, to feare euery concupiscence, euery offer of Sin, that this suspicious, & iealous diligence will turne to an inordinate [Page 20] deiection of spirit, and a diffidence in thy care & prouidence; bu [...] keep me still establish'd, both in a constant assurance, that thou wil [...] speake to me at the beginning of euery such sicknes, at the approach of euery such Sinne; and that, if I take knowledg of that voice then, an [...] flye to thee, thou wil [...] preserue mee from falling, or raise me againe when by naturall infirmitie [...] I am fallen: do [...] this, O Lord, for his sake [Page 21] who knowes our naturall infirmities, for he had them; and knowes the weight of our sinns, for he paid a deare price for them, thy Sonne, our Sauiour, Chr: Iesus, Amen.
2. Actio Laesa. The strength, and the functiō of the Senses, & other faculties change and faile.
2. MEDITATION.
THe Heauens are not the lesse constant, [Page 22] because they moue continually, because they moue continually one and the same way. The Earth is not the more constant, because it lyes stil continually, because continually it changes, and melts in al the parts thereof. Man, who is the noblest part of the Earth, melts so away, as if he were a statue, not of Earth, but of Snowe. We see his owne Enuie melts him, hee growes leane with that; he will say, anothers beautie [Page 23] melts him; but he feeles that a Feuer doth not melt him like snow, but powr him out like lead, like yron, like brasse melted in a furnace: It doth not only melt him, but Calcine him, reduce him to Atomes, and to ashes; not to water, but to lime. And how quickly? Sooner then thou canst receiue an answer, sooner then thou canst conceiue the question; Earth is the center of my body, Heauen is the center of my Soule; these two [Page 24] are the naturall place of these two; but tho [...] goe not to these two, i [...] an equall place: My b [...]dy falls downe withou [...] pushing, my Soule do [...] not go vp without pu [...]ling: Ascension is m [...] Soules pace & measur [...] but precipitation my b [...]dies: And, euen Angell [...] whose home is Heaue [...] and who are winge [...] too, yet had a Ladder [...] goe to Heauen, by step [...] The Sunne who goes [...] many miles in a minu [...] The Starres of the Fi [...]mament, [Page 25] which go so very many more, goe not so fast, as my body to the earth. In the same instant that I feele the first attempt of the disease, I feele the victory; In the twinckling of an eye, I can scarse see; instantly the tast is insipid, and fatuous; instantly the appetite is dull and desirelesse [...] instantly the knees are sinking and strengthlesse; and in an instant, sleepe, which is the picture, the copy of death, is taken away, [Page 26] that the Originall, Death it selfe may succeed, and that so I might haue death to the life. It was part of Adams punishment, In the sweat of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread [...] it is multiplied to me, I haue earned bread in the sweat of my browes, in the labor of my calling, and I haue it [...] and I sweat againe, & againe, from the brow [...] to the sole of the foot [...] but I eat no bread, I tast no sustenance: Miserable distribution of Mankind, [Page 393] where one halfe lackes meat, and the other stomacke.
2. EXPOSTVLATION.
DAuid professes himself a dead dog, 1 Sam. 24 15. to his king Saul, & so doth Mephibosheth to his king Dauid: 2 Sam. 9.8. & yet Dauid speaks to Saul, and Mephibosheth to Dauid. No man is so little, in respect of the greatest man, as the greatest in respect of God; for here, in that, wee haue not so much as a measure [Page 28] to try it by; proportiō is no measure for infinitie. He that hath no more of this world but a graue, hee that hath his graue but lent him, til a better man, or another man, must bee buried in the same graue, he that hath no graue, but a dung-hill, hee that hath no more earth, but that which he carries, but that which hee is, hee that hath not that earth, which hee is, but euen in that, is anothers slaue, hath as much proportion to God, as if [Page 29] all Dauids Worthies, and all the worlds Monarchs, and all imaginations Gyants were kneaded and incorporated into one, and as though that one were the suruiuor of all the sonnes of men, to whom God had giuen the world. And therefore how little soeuer I bee, as God calls things that are not, as though they were, I, who am as though I were not, may call vpon God, and say, My God, my God, why comes thine anger so [Page 30] fast vpon me? Why dost thou melt me, scatter me, powre me like water vpon the ground so instantly? Thou staidst for the first world, in Noahs time, 120 yeres; thou staidst for a rebellious generation in the wildernesse 40 yeares, wilt thou stay no minute for me? Wilt thou make thy Processe, and thy Decree, thy Citation, and thy Iudgement but one act? Thy Summons, thy Battell, thy Victorie, thy Triumph, all but one [Page 31] act; & lead me captiue, nay deliuer me captiue to death, assoon as thou declarest mee to be enemy, and so cut me off euen with the drawing of thy sword out of the scabberd, and for that question, How long was he sicke? leaue no other answere, but that the hand of death pressed vpon him from the first minute? My God, my God, thou wast not wont to come in whirlwinds, but in soft and gentle ayre. Thy first breath breathed [Page 32] a Soule into mee, and shall thy breath blow it out? Thy breath in the Congregation, thy Word in the Church, breathes communion, and consolation here, and consummation heereaf [...]er; shall thy breath in this Chamber breathe dissolution, and destruction, diuorce, and separation? Surely it is not thou; it is not thy hand. The deuouring sword, the consuming fire, the winds from the wildernes, the diseases of the body, all [Page 33] that afflicted Iob, were from the hand of Satan; it is not thou. It is thou; Thou my God, who hast led mee so continually with thy hand, from the hand of my Nurce, as that I know, thou wilt not correct mee, but with thine own hand. My parents would not giue mee ouer to a Seruants correction, nor my God, to Satans. 2 Sam. 24.14. I am fallen into the handes of God with Dauid, and with Dauid I see that his Mercies [Page 34] are great. For by that mercy, I consider in my present state, not the haste, & the dispatch of the disease, in dissoluing this body [...] so much, as the much more hast, & dispatch, which my God shal vse, in recollecting [...] and reuniting this dust againe at the Resurrection. Then I shall heare his Angels proclaime the Surgite M [...]rtui [...] Rise yee dead. Though I be dead I shall heare the voice the spunding of the voice, and the working [Page 35] of the voice shall be all one; and all shall rise there in a lesse Minute, then any one dies here.
2. Prayer.
O Most gracious God, who pursuest and perfitest thine own purposes, and dost not only remember mee by the first accesses of this sicknes, that I must die, but informe me by this further proceeding therin, that I may die now, [Page 36] who hast not only waked mee with the first, but cald me vp, by casting me further downe, and clothd me with thy selfe, by stripping me of my selfe, and by dulling my bodily senses, to the meats, and eases of this world, hast whet, and sharpned my spirituall senses, to the apprehension of thee, by what steps & degrees soeuer it shal please thee to go, in the dissolution of this body, hasten O Lord that pace, and multiply O my [Page 37] God those degrees, in the exaltation of my Soule, toward thee now, & to thee then. My tast is not gone away, but gone vp to sit at Dauids table, To tast, Psa. 34.8 & see, that the Lord is good: My stomach is not gone, but gone vp, so far vpwards toward the Supper of the Lamb, with thy Saints in heauen, as to the Table, to the Cōmunion of thy Saints heere in earth: my knees are weak but weak therfore that I should easily fall to, and fix my selfe long [Page 38] vpon my deuotions to thee. Prou. 14.30. A sound heart is the life of the flesh; & a heart visited by thee, and directed to thee, by that visitation is a sound hart. There is no soundnesse in my flesh, Psa. 38.3 because of thin [...] anger. Interpret thin [...] owne worke, and call this sicknes, correction and not anger, & there is soundnes in my flesh [...] There is no rest in my bones, Ibid. because of my sinne; transfer [...]e my sinnes, with which thou ar [...] so displeased, vpon him, [Page 39] with whome thou art so well pleased, Christ Iesus, and there will be rest in my bones: And, O my God, who madest thy selfe a Light in a Bush, in the middest of these brambles, & thornes of a sharpe sicknesse, appeare vnto me so, that I may see thee, and know thee to be my God, applying thy selfe to me, euen in these sharp, and thorny passages. Doe this, O Lord, for his sake, who was not the lesse, the King o [...] Heauen, for [Page 40] thy suffering him to be crowned with thornes, in this world.
3. Decubitus sequitur tandem. The Patient takes his bed.
2. MEDITATION.
WEe attribute bu [...] one priuiledge, and aduantage to Mans body, aboue other mouing creatures, that he is not as others, groueling [...] but of an erect, of an [Page 41] vpright form, naturally built, & disposed to the contemplation of Heauen. Indeed it is a thankfull forme, and recompences that soule, which giues it, with carrying that soule so many foot higher, towards heauen. Other creatures look to the earth; and euen that is no vnfit obiect, no vnfit contemplation for Man; for thither hee must come; but because, Man is not to stay there, as other creatures are, Man in his naturall [Page 42] forme, is carried to th [...] contemplation of tha [...] place, which is his hom [...] Heauen. This is Man prerogatiue; but wha [...] state hath he in this di [...]nitie? A feuer ca [...] filli [...] him downe, a feuer ca [...] depose him; a feuer ca [...] bring that head, whic [...] yesterday caried a crou [...] of gold, fiue foot to [...]wards a crown of glory as low as his own foo [...] to day. When God cam [...] to breath into Man th [...] breath of life, he foun [...] him flat vpō the groū [...] [Page 43] when hee comes to withdraw that breath from him againe, hee prepares him to it, by laying him flat vpon his bed. Scarse any prison so close, that affords not the prisoner two, or [...]hree steps. The Anchorites that barqu'd themselues vp in hollowe trees, & immur'd themselues in hollow walls; That peruerse man, that barrell'd himselfe in a Tubb, all could stand, or sit, and enioy some change of pasture. A [Page 44] sicke bed, is a graue, an [...] all that the patient saie [...] there, is but a varying o [...] his owne Epitaph. Eue [...]ry nights bed is a Typ [...] of the graue: At nigh [...] wee tell our seruants a [...] what houre wee wil [...] rise; here we cannot tel [...] our selues, at what day what week, what mo [...]neth. Here the head lie [...] as low as the foot; th [...] Head of the people, a [...]lowe as they, whom those feete trod vpon And that hande tha [...] signed Pardons, is to [...] [Page 45] weake to begge his owne, if hee might haue it for lifting vp that hand: Strange fetters to the feete, strange Manacles to the hands, vvhen the feete, and handes are bound so much the faster, by how much the coards are slacker; So much the lesse able to doe their Offices, by how much more the Sinnewes and Ligaments are the looser. In the Graue I may speak thorough the stones, in the [Page 46] voice of my friends, an [...] in the accents of thos [...] wordes, which thei [...] loue may afford my me [...]mory; Here I am min [...] owne Ghost, and rathe [...] affright my beholders then instruct them; the [...] conceiue the worst o [...] me now, and yet fea [...] worse; they giue me fo [...] dead now, & yet won [...]der how I doe, whe [...] they wake a [...] midnight and aske how I doe, [...]morrow. Miserable and, (though common to all) in human postu [...] [Page 47] where I must practise [...]y lying in the graue, by [...]ying still, and not practise my Resurrection, by [...]ising any more.
3. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, and my Iesus, my Lord, and my Christ, my Strength, and my Saluatiō, I heare thee, and I hearken to thee, whē thou rebukest thy Disciples, for rebuking [...]hem, who brought [...]hildren to thee; Mat. 19.13. Suffer [Page 48] little children to come t [...] mee, saiest thou. Is ther [...] a verier child then I a [...] now? I cannot say wit [...] thy seruant Ieremy, Lor [...] I am a child, and cann [...] speake; but, O Lord, I a [...] a sucking childe, an [...] cannot eat, a creepin [...] childe, and cannot go [...] how shall I come t [...] thee? Whither shall [...] come to thee? To thi [...] bed? I haue this weake and childish froward [...]nes too, I cannot sit vp [...] and yet am loth to go t [...] bed; shall I find thee [...] [Page 49] bed? Oh, haue I alwaies done so? The bed is not ordinarily thy Scene, thy Climate: Lord, dost tho [...] not accuse me, dost thou not reproach to mee, my former sinns, when thou layest mee vpon this bed? Is not this to hang a man at his owne dore, to lay him sicke in his owne bed of wantonnesse? When thou chidest vs by thy Prophet for lying in beds of Iuory, Amos 6 4. is not thine anger vented; not till thou changest our bedds of Iuory, [Page 50] into bebs of Ebony Dauid sweares vnto thee, Psal. 132 3. that hee will not go [...] vp into his bed, till he ha [...] built thee a House. To go [...] vp into the bed, denote [...] strength, and promi [...]e [...] ease; But when tho [...] saiest, Apoc. 2.22. That thou wilt ca [...] Iesubel into a bed, tho [...] mak'st thine own com [...]ment vpon that, Tho [...] callest the bed Tribul [...]tion, great Tribulation [...] How shal they come t [...] thee, whom thou ha [...] nayled to their bed [...] Thou art in the Congr [...]gation, Mat. 8.6 [Page 51] & I in a solitude: when the Centurions seruant lay sicke at home, his Master was faine to come to Christ; [...]he sicke man could not. Their friend lay sicke of the Palsey, 8.4. and the four charitable men were faine to bring him to Christ; he could not come. 8.14. Peters wiues mother lay sicke of a feuer, & Christ came to her; shee could not come to him. My friends may carrie mee home to thee, in their prayers in the Congregation; [Page 52] Thou must com [...] home to me in the visi [...]tation of thy Spirit, an [...] in the seale of thy Sacra [...]ment: But when I a [...] cast into this bedd, m [...] slacke sinewes are yro [...] fetters, and those thi [...] sheets, yron dores vpo [...] me; Psa. 26.8. And, Lord, I haue lo [...]ued the habitation of th [...] house, and the place whe [...] thine honour dwelleth: lye here, 84.4. and say, Blesse are they; that dwell in th [...] house; but I cannot say I will come into thy hous [...] I may say, 5.8. In thy fea [...] [Page 53] will I worship towards thy [...]oly Temple, but I cannot [...]ay in thy holy Temple [...]: 69.10. And, Lord, the zeale of thy House, eats me vp, as fast as my feuer; It is not a Recusancie, for I would come, but it is an Excōmunication, I must not. But Lord, thou art Lord of Hosts, & louest Action; Why callest thou me from my calling? In the [...] graue no man shall praise thee; In the doore of the graue, this sicke bed, no Man shal heare mee praise thee: Thou [Page 54] hast not opned my lips that my mouth migh [...] shew thee thy praise, bu [...] that my mouth migh [...] shew foorth thy praise But thine Apostles fear [...] takes hold of mee, th [...] when I haue preached to [...]thers, 1 Cor. 9.27. I my selfe should be cast-way; and therefo [...] am I cast downe, that might not be cast awa [...] [...] Thou couldst take m [...] by the head, 2. Reg. 2.11. as tho [...] didst Abacuc, and carr [...] mee so; By a Chariot, [...] thou didst Eliah, & ca [...]rie me so; but thou ca [...]riest [Page 55] me thine own priuate way, the way by which thou carryedst thy Sonne, who first lay vpon the earth, & praid, and then had his Exaltation, as himselfe calls his Crucifying, and first descended into hell, and then had his Ascension. There is another Station (indeed neither are stations but prostrations) lower then this bed; To morrow I may be laid one Story lower, vpon the Floore, the face of the earth, and next day another [Page 56] Story, in the graue, the wombe of the Earth: As yet God suspends mee betweene Heauen and Earth, as a Meteor; and I am not in Heauen, because an earthly bodie clogges me, and I am not in the Earth, because a heauenly Soule sustaines mee [...] And it is thine owne Law, Exod. 21 18. O God, that if a man bee smitten so by ano [...]ther, as that hee keepe hi [...] bed, though he dye not, hee that hurt him, must take care of his healing, and [Page 57] recompence him. Th [...] hand strikes mee into this bed; and therefore if I rise againe, thou wilt bee my recompence, all the dayes of my life, in making the memory of this sicknes beneficiall to me, and if my body fall yet lower, thou wilt take my soule out of this bath, & present it to thy Father, washed againe, and againe, and again, in thine own teares, in thine owne sweat, in thine owne blood.
3. PRAYER.
O Most mightie an [...] most merciful God who though thou hau [...] taken me off of my feet hast not taken me off o [...] my foundation, whic [...] is thy selfe, who thoug [...] thou haue remoued m [...] frō that vpright forme, in which I could stand and see thy throne, th [...] Heauens, yet hast not remoued from mee tha [...] light, by which I can li [...] and see thy selfe, who [Page 59] though thou haue weakened my bodily knees, that they cannot bow to thee, hast yet left mee the knees of my heart, which are bowed vnto thee euermore; As thou hast made this bed, thine Altar, make me thy Sacrifice; and as thou makest thy Sonne Christ Iesus the Priest, so make me his Deacon, to minister to him in a chereful surrender of my body, & soule to thy pleasure, by his hands. I come vnto thee, O God, my God, I [Page 60] come vnto thee, so as I can come, I come to thee, by imbracing thy comming to me) I come in the confidence, & in the application of thy seruant Dauids promise, Psa. 41.3 That thou wilt make all my bed in my sicknesse; All my bedd; That which way soeuer I turne, I may turne to thee; And as I feele thy hand vpon all my body, so I may find it vpon all my bedde, and see all my corrections, and all my refreshings to flow from one, [Page] and [...]he same, and all from thy hand. As [...] hast made these feather [...] [...]hornes, in the sharpnes of this sicknes, so, Lord, make these thornes, feathers, againe, feathers of thy Do [...]e, in the peace of Conscience, and in a holy recourse to thine Arke, to the Instruments of true comfort, in thy Institutions, and in the Ordinances of thy Church. Forget my bed, O Lord, as it hath beene a bedde of sloth, and worse then sloth, [Page 62] Take mee not, O Lord, at this aduantage, to te [...]rifie my soule, with say [...]ing, now I haue me thee there, where tho [...] hast so often departe from me; but hauin [...] burnt vp that bed, b [...] these vehement heate and washed that bed i [...] these abundant sweat [...] make my bed againe, Lord, and enable me a [...]cording to thy co [...]mand, Psal. 4.4. to commune wi [...] mine owne heart vpon [...] bed, and be still. To pr [...]uide a bed for all m [...] [Page 63] former sinnes, whilest I lie vpon this bed, and a graue for my sins, before I come to my graue; and when I haue deposed them in the wounds of thy Sonn, to rest in that assurance, that my Conscience is discharged frō further anxietie, and my soule from farther danger, and my Memory from further calumny. Doe this, O Lord, for his sake, who did, and suffered so much, that thou mightest, as well in thy Iustice, as in thy Mercy, [Page 64] doe it for me, thy Sonne our Sauiour, Christ Iesus [...]
4. Medicus (que) vocatur. The Phisician is sent fo [...]
4. MEDITATION.
IT is too little to cal [...] Man a little World [...] Except God, Man is diminutiue to nothing Man consistes of mor [...] pieces, more parts, the [...] [...]he world; then the [Page 65] world doeth, nay then the world is. And if those pieces were extended, and stretched out in Man, as they are in the world, Man would bee the Gyant, and the world the Dwarfe, the world but the Map, and the man the World. If all the Veines in our bodies, were extented to Riuers, and all the Sinewes, to vaines of Mines, and all the Muscles, that lye vpon one another, to Hilles, and all the Bones to Quarries [Page 66] of stones, and all the [...]ther pieces, to the pr [...]portion of those whic [...] correspond to them i [...] the world, the aire wou [...] be too litle for this Or [...] of Man to moue in, t [...] firmament would b [...] but enough for this sta [...] for, as the whole wor [...] hath nothing, to whic [...] something in man do [...] not answere, so ha [...] man many pieces, [...] which the whol wor [...] ha [...]h no representatio [...] Inlarge this Meditatio [...] vpon this great worl [...] [Page 67] Man, so farr, as to consider the immensitie of [...]he creatures this world produces; our creatures are our thoughts; creatures that are borne Gyants: that reach from East to West, from earth to Heauen, that doe not onely bestride all the Sea, and Land, but span the Sunn and Firmament at once; My thoughts reach all, comprehend all. Inexplicable mistery; I their Creator am in a close prison, in a sicke bed, any where, and any one [Page 68] of my Creatures, m [...] thoughts, is with t [...] Sunne, and beyond t [...] Sunne, ouertakes t [...] Sunne, and ouergoes t [...] Sunne in one pace, o [...] steppe, euery wher [...] And then as the oth [...] world produces Serpen [...] and Vipers, malignan [...] & venimous creature [...] and Wormes, and Cate [...]pillars, that endeauo [...] to deuoure that worl [...] which produces the [...] and Monsters compile [...] and complicated of d [...]uers parents, & kinds, [...] [Page 69] this world, our selues, produces all these in vs, [...] producing diseases, & [...]cknesses, of all those [...]orts; venimous, and infectious diseases, feeding & consuming diseases, and manifold, and entāgled diseases, made vp of many seueral ones. And can the other world name so many venimous, so many consuming, so many monstro [...]s crea [...]ures, as we can diseases, of all these kindes? O miserable abūdance, O [...]eggarly riches [...] how [Page 70] much doe wee lacke [...] hauing remedies for eu [...]rie disease, when as y [...] we haue not names f [...] them? But wee hau [...] Hercules against the [...] Gyants, these Monster [...] that is, the Phisician; [...] musters vp al the for [...] of the other world, [...] succour this; all Natu [...] to relieue Man. We ha [...] the Phisician, but we [...] not the Phisician. Hee we shrinke in our p [...]portion, sink in our d [...]nitie, in respect of ve [...] meane creatures, w [...] [Page 71] [...]re Phisicians to them [...]elues. The Hart that is [...]ursued and wounded, they say, knowes an Herbe, which being ea [...]en, throwes off the arrow: A strange kind of vomit. The dog that pursues it, though hee bee subiect to sicknes, euen prouerbially, knowes his grasse that recouers him. And it may be true, that the Drugger is as neere to Man, as to other creatures, it may be that obuious and present Simples, easie to bee had, [Page 72] would cure him; b [...] the Apothecary is not [...] neere him, nor the P [...]sician so neere him, [...] they two are to oth [...] creatures; Man hath n [...] that innate instinct, to a [...]ply those naturall me [...]cines to his present da [...]ger, as those inferio [...] creatures haue; he is n [...] his owne Apothecary, h [...] owne Phisician, as th [...] are. Call back therefo [...] thy Meditations agai [...] and bring it down [...] whats become of ma [...] gre [...]t extent & propo [...]tion, [Page] when himselfe shrinkes himselfe, and consumes himselfe to [...] handfull of dust; whats become of his soaring thoughts, his compassing thoughts, when himselfe brings himselfe to the ignoranc [...], [...]o the thoughtlesness [...] of the Graue? His diseases are his owne, but the Phisician is not; hee hath them at home, but [...]ee must send for the Phisician.
4. EXPOSTVLATION [...]
I Haue not the right [...]ousnesse of Iob, Iob 13.3. but haue the desire of [...] I would speake to the [...] mighty [...] and I would reas [...] with God. My God, [...] God, how soone wou [...]dest thou haue me go [...] to the Phisician, & ho [...] far wouldest thou ha [...] me go with the Phisi [...]an? I know thou h [...] made the Matter, a [...] the Man, and the [...] and I goe not from th [...] [Page 75] when I go to the Phisician. Thou didst not make clothes before ther was a shame of the nakednes of the body; but thou didst make Phisick before there was any grudging of any sicknes; for thou didst imprint a medicinall vertue in many Simples, euen frō the beginning; didst thou meane that wee should be sicke, whē thou didst so? when thou madest them? No more then thou didst meane, that we should sinne, when [Page 76] thou madest vs: tho [...] fore-sawest both, bu [...] causedst neither. Tho [...] Lord, Ez [...]c. 47.12. promisest hee [...] trees, whose fruit shall b [...] for meat, and their lea [...] for Medicine. It is th [...] voyce of thy Sonn, W [...] thou bee made whole That drawes from th [...] patient a cōfession tha [...] hee was ill, Ioh. 5.6 and coul [...] not make hims [...]lfe w [...] And it is thine own [...] voyce, Is there no Phisi [...]cian? Ier. 8.22 That inclines vs disposes vs to accep [...] thine Ordinance. An [...] [Page 77] [...]t is the voyce of the Wise man, both for the matter, phisicke it selfe, The Lorde hath created Medicines out of the Earth, Ecclus. 38.4 and hee that is wise, shall not abhorre them, And for the Arte, and the Person, The Phisician cutteth off a long disease. In all these voyces, thou sendest vs to those helpes, which thou hast afforded vs in that. But wilt not thou auowe that voyce too, Ecclus. 38.15. Hee that hath sinned against his [Page 78] Maker, let him fall into th [...] hands of the Phisician; an [...] wilt not thou affoor [...] me an vnderstanding o [...] those wordes? Tho [...] who sendest vs for [...] blessing to the Phisic [...]an, doest not make it [...] curse to vs, to go, whe [...] thou sendest. Is not th [...] curse rather in this, th [...] onely hee falls into th [...] hands of the Phisician that casts himself who [...]ly, intirely vpon the Phi [...]sician, confides in him relies vpon him, attend all from him, and neg [...]lects [Page 79] that spirituall phi [...]icke; which thou also hast instituted in thy Church [...] so to fall into the [...]ands of the Phisician; is a sinne, and a punishment of [...]ormer sinnes; so, as Asa [...]fell, who in his disease, sought not to the Lord, 1. Chro. 16.12. but [...] [...]o the Phisician. Reueale therefore to me thy me [...]hod, O Lord, & see, whether I haue followed it; [...]hat thou mayest haue glory, if I haue, and I pardon, if I haue not, & helpe that I may. Thy Method is, Ecclus [...]8.9 In time of thy [Page 80] sicknesse, be not negligent [...] VVherein wilt thou haue my diligence expressed? Pray vnto th [...] Lord, and hee will mak [...] thee whole. O Lord, [...] doe; I pray, and pray thy Seruaunt Dauid [...] prayer, Ps. 6.2: Haue mercy vp [...]on mee, O Lord, for I a [...] weake; Heale mee, O Lord, for my bones ar [...] vexed: I knowe, that euen my weakenesse is a reason, a mot [...]ue, to induce thy mercie, and my sicknes an occasion of thy sending health [Page 81] When art thou so readie, when is it so seasonable to thee, to commiserate, as in miserie? But is Prayer for health in season, as soone as I am sicke? Thy Method goes further; Leaue off from sinne, v. 10. and order thy handes aright, and cleanse thy heart from all wickednesse; Haue I, O Lord, done so? O Lord, I haue; by thy grace, I am come to a holy detestation of my former sin; Is there any more? In thy Methode there is [Page 82] more; Giue a sweet sauor [...] and a memoriall of fin [...] flower, and make a fat of [...]fering, as not being. And Lord, by thy grace, I haue done that, sacrificed [...] little, of that litle whic [...] thou lentst me, to them for whō thou lentst it and now in thy metho [...] and by thy steps, I am come to that, Then gi [...] place to the Phisician, v, 12. fo [...] the Lord hath created him let him not goe from the [...] for thou hast need of him I send for the Phisicia [...] but I will heare him en [...]ter [Page 83] with those wordes of Peter, Act. 9. [...]4. Iesus Christ maketh thee whole; I long for his presence, but I look [...] that the power of the Lord, Luc. 5.17. should bee present to heale mee.
4. PRAYER.
O Most mightie, and most merciful God, who art so the God of health, & strength, as that without thee, all health is but the fuell, and all strēgth, but the bellows [Page 84] of sinne; Behold me [...] vnder the vehemenc [...] of two diseases, and vn [...]der the nece [...]sity of tw [...] Phisiciās, authorized b [...] thee, the bodily, and th [...] spiritual Phisician. I com [...] to both, as to thine Ordi [...]nance, & blesse, and glo [...]rifie thy Name, that i [...] both cases, thou hast af [...]forded help to Man by the Ministery of man [...] Euen in the new Ierusa [...]lem, Apo. 22.2 [...]. in Heauen it selfe, i [...] hath pleased thee to discouer a Tree, which i [...] a Tree of life there, bu [...] [Page 85] the leaues thereof are for the healing of the Nations; Life it selfe is with thee there, for thou art life; and all kinds of Health, wrought vpon vs here, by thine Instruments, descend from thence. Ier. 51.9. Thou wouldest haue healed Babylon, but she is not healed; Take from mee, O Lord, her peruersenesse, her wilfulnesse, her refractarinesse, and heare thy Spirit saying in my Soule, Heale mee, O Lord, for I would bee healed. Ephraim saw his [Page 86] sickenesse, Ose: 5.13. and Iudah his wound; then went Ephraim to the Assyrian, and sent to King Iareb, yet could no [...] hee heale you, nor cure you of your wound. Keepe me back O Lord, from them who mis-professe artes of healing the Soule, or of the Body, by meanes not imprinted by thee in the Church, for the soule, or not in nature for the body; There is no spirituall health to be had by superstition, nor bodily by witchcraft [...] thou Lord, and onely thou art Lord [Page 87] of both. Thou in thy selfe art Lord of both, and thou in thy Son art the Phisician, the applyer of both. Esa. With his stripes wee are healed, sayes the Prophet there; there, before hee was scourged, wee were healed with his stripes; how much more shall I bee healed now, now, when that which he hath already suffred actually, is actually, and effectually applied to me? Is there any thing incurable, vpon which that Balme [Page 88] dropps? Any vaine [...] emptie, as that that blo [...] cannot fil it? 2 Ch [...]o: 7.14. Thou pro [...]misest to heale the ear [...] but it is when the i [...]habitants of the eart [...] pray that thou woulde [...] heale it. Ezech: 47.11. Thou promi [...]sest to heale their W [...]ters, but their miery pl [...]ces, and standing waters [...] thou sayest there, Tho [...] wilt not heale: My retu [...]n [...]ng to any sinne, if should returne to the a [...]bilitie of sinning ouer all my sins againe, thou wouldest not pardon [...] [Page 89] [...]eale this earth, O my [...]od, by repentant tears, [...]nd heale these waters, [...]hese teares from all bit [...]rnes, frō all diffidence, [...]rom all deiection, by e [...]ablishing my irremo [...]able assurance in thee. [...]hy Sonn went about hea [...]ng all manner of sicke [...]esses. Mat. 4.23. (No disease incu [...]able, none difficult; Luc. 6.19. he [...]ealed them in passing) [...]ertue went out of him, Io: 7.23. [...]nd he healed all, all the [...]ultitude (no person in [...]urable) he healed them [...]uery whit, (as himselfe [Page 90] speaks) he left no relike of the disease; and wi [...] this vniuersall Phisici [...] passe by this Hospital and not visit mee? no [...] heale me? not heale m [...] wholy? Lord, I look [...] not that thou shoulde [...] say by thy Messenger t [...] mee, 2. Reg. 20. [...]. as to Ezechias, B [...]hold, I will heale thee, an [...] on the third day thou sha [...] goe vp to the house of th [...] Lord. I looke not th [...] thou shouldst say to m [...] as to Moses in Miriam [...] behalfe, Num: 12.14. when Mos [...] would haue had he [...] [Page 91] heald presently, If her [...]ather had but spit in her [...]ace, should she not been ashamed seuen dayes? Let her be shut vp seuen daies, [...]nd then returne; but if [...]hou be pleased to multiply seuen dayes, (and seuen is in [...]inite) by the number of my sinnes, (and that is more infinite) if this day must remoue me, till dayes shall [...]ee no more, seale to me, my spirituall health in affording me the Seales of thy Church, & for my [...]emporall health, prosper [Page 92] thine ordinance, i [...] their hands who sha [...] assist in this sicknes, i [...] that manner, and in th [...] measure, as may mo [...] glorifie thee, aud mo [...] edifie those, who ob [...]serue the issues of th [...] seruants, to their own [...] spirituall benefit.
5. Solus adest. The Phisician comes.
5. MEDITATION.
AS Sicknesse is th [...] greatest misery. s [...] the greatest misery o [...] [Page 93] [...]icknes is solitude; when [...]he infectiousnes of the disease deterrs thē who [...]hould assist, from cō [...]ing; Euen the Phisici [...]n dares scarse come. So [...]itude is a tormēt, which is not threatned in hell it selfe. Meere vacuitie, the first Agent, God, the first instrument of God, Nature, will not admit; Nothing can be vtterly [...]nptie, but so neere a [...]egree towards Vacutie, as Solitude, to bee [...]ut one, they loue not. When I am dead, & my [Page 94] body might infect, the [...] haue a remedy, th [...] may bury me; but w [...] I am but sick, and mig [...] infect, they haue no [...]medy, but their absen [...] and my solitude. It is [...] excuse to them that a [...] great, and pre [...]end, & y [...] are loth to come; it is [...] inhibition to those w [...] would truly come, b [...] cause they may be ma [...] instruments, and pe [...]ducts, to the infectiō [...] others, by their cōmin [...] And it is an Outlawry, [...] Excommunication vpo [...] [Page 95] [...]he patient, and seperats [...]im from all offices not onely of Ciuilitie, but of [...]orking Charitie. A long [...]icknesse will w [...]ary [...]i [...]nds a [...] last, but a pe [...]tilentiall sicknes auerts them from the begin [...]ing. God himself wold [...]dmit a fig [...]e of Society, [...]s there is a plurality of [...]ersons in God, though [...]here bee but one God; & all his exte [...]nall actions testifie a loue of So [...]i [...]tie and communion. In Heauen ther [...] are Ordens of Angels, and Armies of [Page 96] Martyrs, & in that hou [...] many mansions; in Ear [...] Families, Cities, Church [...] Colleges, all plurall thing [...] and lest either of th [...] should not be compa [...] enough alone, there [...] an association of bo [...] a Communion of Sain [...] which makes the M [...]tant, and Triumpha [...] Church, one Parish; [...] that Christ, was not o [...] of his Dioces, when h [...] was vpon the Earth, n [...] out of his Temple, wh [...] he was in our flesh G [...] who sawe that all th [...] [Page 97] [...]ee made, was good, [...]ame not so neer seeing [...] defect in any of his works, as when he saw [...]hat it was not good, [...]or man to bee alone, [...]herefore h [...]e made him [...] helper; and one that [...]hould helpe him so, as [...]o increase the number, [...]nd giue him her owne, [...]d more societie. Angels, [...]ho do not propagate, [...]or multiply, were [...]ade at first in an abū [...]ant number; and so [...]ere starres: But for [...]he things of this world, [Page 98] their blessing was, Encrease; for I think, I nee [...] not aske leaue to think that there is no Phenix nothing singular, no [...]thing alone: Men tha [...] in here vpon Nature on [...]ly, are so far from think [...]ing, that there is an [...]thing singular in th [...] world, as that they wi [...] scarce thinke, that th [...] world it selfe is singula [...] but that euery Plane [...] and euery Starre, is an [...]other World like this They finde reason t [...] conceiue, not onely [...] [Page 99] pluralitie in euery Species in the world, but a pluralitie of worlds; so that the abho [...]rers of Solitude, are not solitary; for God, and Nature, and Reason concurre against it. Now, a man may counterfeyt the Plague in a vowe, and mistake a Disease for Religion; by such a re [...]iring, and recluding of [...]imselfe from all men, [...] to doe good to no [...]an, to conuerse with [...]o man. God hath two [...]estamēts, two Wils; but [Page 100] this is a Scedule, and no [...] of his, a Codicill, and no [...] of his, not in the body o [...] his Testaments, but interlind, and postscrib'd by o [...]thers, that the way t [...] the Communion of Saint [...] should be by such a sol [...]tude, as excludes all do [...]ing of good here. Th [...] is a disease of the mind [...] the height of an inf [...]ctious disease of the bo [...]dy, is solitude, to be left [...]lone: for this makes [...] infectious bed, equa [...] nay worse then a gra [...] that thogh in both [...] [Page 101] equally alone, in my bed I know it, and feele it, and shall not in my graue: and this too, that in my bedd, my soule is still in an infectious body, and shall not in my graue bee so.
5. EXPOSTVLATION.
O God, my God, thy Son tooke it not ill at Marthaes handes, that when he said vnto her, Thy brother Lazarus shall rise againe, Io: 13.23. she expostulated [Page 102] it so far with him, as to reply, I know that h [...] shal rise againe in the Resurrection, at the last day [...] for shee was miserable by wanting him then [...] Take it not ill, O my God, frō me, that thogh thou haue o [...]dained i [...] for a blessing, and for [...] dignitie to thy people, That they should dwell alone, Num; 23.9 and not bee reckoned among the Nations, (because they should be aboue them) & that they should dwell in safetie alone, Deu: 33.28. (free from the infestation [Page 103] of enemies) yet I [...]ake thy leaue to remē ber thee, that thou hast sa [...]d to, Eccles. 4.10. Two are better then one; And Woe be vnto him that is alone when he falleth [...] and so, when he is fallen, and laid in the bedde of sicknesse too. Sap. 1.9. Righteousnesse is immortall; I know thy wisdome hath said so; but no Man, though couered with the righteousnes of thy Sonne, is immor [...]all so, as not to die; for he who was righteousnes it selfe, did die. I know [Page 104] that the Son of righteous [...]nes, Mat. 14.23. thy Son, refused no [...] nay affected solitariness [...] lonenesse, many, man [...] times; but at all time [...] he was able to cōman [...] more then twelue legions [...] Angels to his seruice; Mat. 26.13. an [...] when he did not so, [...] was farre from being [...]lone; for, I am not alon [...] saies he, Io. 8.16. but I, and the F [...]ther that sent me. I canno [...] feare, but that I shall a [...]waies be with thee, an [...] him; but whether thi [...] disease may not alien, [...] remooue my friends, [...] [Page 105] [...]hat they stand aloofe frō [...]ny sore, Psa. 38.11. and my kinsmen stād afar off, I cannot tel. [...] cannot feare, but that thou wilt reckon with me from this minute, in which, by thy grace, I see thee [...] whe [...]her this vnderstanding, & this will, and this memory, may not decay, to the discouragement, and the ill interpretation of thē, that see that heauy change in me, I cānot tell. It was for thy blessed, thy powerfull Sonne alone, Esa. 63.3. to tread the wine-presse alone, and none [Page 106] of the people with him; am not able to passe thi [...] agony alone; not alon [...] without thee; Thou a [...] thy spirit; not alone wi [...]out thine; spirituall an [...] temporall Phisicians, a [...] thine; not alone witho [...] mine; Those whom th [...] bands of blood, or frien [...]ship [...] hath made mine [...] a [...] mine; And if thou, o [...] thine, or mine, abando [...] me, I am alone, and w [...] vnto me if I bee alone [...] Elias himselfe fainte [...] vnder that apprehēsion [...] Loe, 1. reg [...] [...]4.14. I am left alone; an [...] [Page 107] Martha murmured at that, Luc. 10.40. and said to Christ, Lord, doest not thou care, that my sister hath left me to serue alone? Neither could Ieremiah enter into his Lamētations, from a higher groūd, then to say, Ier. 1.1. How doth the citie sit solitary, that was full of people. O my God, it is the Leper, that thou hast cō demned to liue alone; Leu: 13.46. Haue [...] such a Leprosie in my Soule, that I must die alone; alone without thee? Shall this come to such a Le [...]rosie in my [Page 108] body, that I must die [...]lone? Alone witho [...] them that should assi [...] that shold comfort m [...] But comes not this E [...]postulation too neere murmuring? Must I b [...] cōcluded with that, Exo: 14.2. th [...] Moses was commaunded [...] come neere the Lord alon [...] That solitarines, & d [...]reliction, and abando [...]ning of others, dispose [...] vs best for God, who ac [...]cōpanies vs most alon [...] May I not remember & apply to; Gen. 32.24. that thogh [...] God come not to Iacob [Page 109] till he found him alone, [...]et when he found him alone, hee wrestled with him, and lamed him? That when in the dereliction and forsaking of friends and Phisicians, a man is left alone to God, God may so wrestle with this Iacob, with this Conscience, as to put it out of ioynt, & so appeare to him, as that he dares not looke vpon him face to face, when as by way of reflection, in the consolation of his temporall or spirituall seruants, and [Page 110] ordinances hee durst, [...] they were there? Ecclus. 6.16. But [...] faithfull friend is the phisicke of life, and they th [...] feare the Lord, shall find him. Therefore hath th [...] Lord afforded me bo [...] in one person, that Ph [...]sician, who is my faith [...]full friend.
5. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and mo [...] gracious God, wh [...] calledst down fire from Heauen vpon the sinfu [...] Cities, but once, and op [...]nedst [Page 111] the Earth to swallow the Murmurers, but once [...] and threwst down the Tower of Siloe vpon sinners, but once, but for thy workes of mercie repeatest them often, & still workest by thine owne paternes, as thou broghtest Man into this world, by giuing him a helper fit for him here, [...]o whether it bee thy will to continue mee [...]ong thus, or to dismisse me by death, be pleased to afford me the helpes fit for both conditions, [Page 112] either for my weak sta [...] here, or my finall tran [...]migration from hence [...] And if thou mayest r [...]ceiue glory by that wa [...] (and, by all wayes tho [...] maist receiue glory) gl [...]rifie thy selfe in preser [...]uing this body from suc [...] infections, as migh [...] withhold those, wh [...] would come, or in da [...]ger thē who doe come [...] and preserue this soule [...] the faculties thereof, fr [...] all such distempers, [...] might shake the assu [...]rance which my selfe & [Page 113] others haue had, that because thou hast loued me, thou wouldst loue me to my end, and at my end. Open none of my dores, not of my hart, not of mine eares, not of my house, to any supplanter that would enter to vndermine me in my Religion to thee, in the time of my weaknesse, or to defame me, & magnifie himselfe, with false rumors of such a victory, & surprisall of me, after I am dead; Be my saluation, and plead my saluation; [Page 114] work it, and decla [...] it; and as thy triumpha [...] shall be, so let the M [...]tant Church bee assure [...] that thou wast my [...] and I thy seruant, to, an [...] in my consummatio [...] Blesse thou the learning and the labours of th [...] Man, whō thou sende [...] to assist me; and sinc [...] thou takest mee by th [...] hand, & puttest me int [...] his hands (for I come t [...] him in thy name, who in thy name comes t [...] me) since I clog not m [...] hopes in him, no nor my [Page 115] [...]ayers to thee, with any [...]mited conditions, but [...]wrap all in those two [...]etitions, Thy kingdome [...]me, thy will be done, pro [...]er him, and relieue [...]e, in thy way, in thy [...]me, and in thy mea [...]re. Amen.
6. Metuit. The Phisician is afraid.
6. MEDITATION.
[...] Obserue the Phisician, with the same [...]iligence, as hee the dis [...]ase; I see hee feares, [...]nd I feare with him: I [Page 116] ouertake him, I ouem him in his feare, an [...] go the faster, because [...] makes his pace slow [...] feare the more, beca [...] he disguises his fear, [...] I see it with the mo [...] sharpnesse, because [...] would not haue me [...] it. He knowes that [...] feare shall not disord [...] the practise, and exerci [...] of his Art, but he kno [...] that my fear may diso [...]der the e [...]fect, and wo [...]king of his practise. [...] the ill affections of [...] spleene, complicate, an [...] [Page 117] [...]ingle themselus with [...]ery infirmitie of the [...]dy, so doth feare insi [...]at it [...]elf in euery acti [...] or passion of the mind; [...]nd as wind in the body [...]ill counterfet any dis [...]ase, and seem the Stone, & [...]eem the Gout, so feare will counterfet any dis [...]ase of the Mind; It shall [...]eeme loue, a loue of hauing, and it is but a fear, a iealous, and suspitious [...]eare of loosing; It shall [...]eem valor in despising, and vnderualuing danger, and it is but feare, in [Page 118] an ouer-valuing of [...]nion, and estimation, and feare of loosing that man that is not afraid [...] a Lion, is afraid of a [...] not afraid of starui [...] & yet is afraid of so [...] ioynt of meat at the tab [...] presented to feed hi [...] not afraid of the so [...] of Drummes, and Tru [...]pets, and Shot, and tho [...] which they seeke [...] drowne, the last cries o [...] men, and is afraid [...] some particular harm [...]nious instrument [...] so muc [...] afraid, as that with an [...] [Page 119] of these the enemy might [...]riue this mā, otherwise [...]aliant enough, out of [...]e field. I know not, what fear is, nor I know [...]ot what it is that I fear [...]ow; I feare not the hastening of my death, and yet I do fear the increase [...]f the disease; I should [...]elie Nature, if I should deny that I feard this, & [...]f I should say that I fea [...]ed death, I should belye God; My weaknesse is [...]rom Nature, who hath [...]ut her Measure, my [...]trength is from God, [Page 120] who possesses, & distri [...]butes infinitely. As the euery cold ayre, is no [...] dampe, euery shiuering not a stupefaction, so eue [...]ry feare, is not a feare [...]nes, euery declination [...] not a running away, [...]uery debating is not resoluing, euery wis [...] that it were not thus, [...] not a murmuring, no [...] deiection though it b [...] thus; but as my Phisici [...] fear puts not him fro [...] his practise, neither do [...] mine put me, from r [...]ceiuing from God, an [...] [Page 121] Man, and my selfe, spiritu [...]ll, and ciuill, and morall [...]ssistances, and conso [...]ations.
6. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, I find in thy Booke, that [...]eare is a stifling spirit, a spirit of suffocation; That [...]shbosheth could not speak, 2 Sam: 3.11 not reply in his own defence [...]o Abner, because hee was [...]fraid. It was thy seruāt [...]obs case too, 9.34. who before hee could say any [...]hing to thee, saies of thee, [Page 122] Let him take his rod awa [...] frō me, Iob 9.34. and let not his fear [...] terrifie mee, then would speake with him, and [...] feare him; but it is not [...] with mee. Shall a feare [...] thee, take away my d [...]uotiō to thee? Dost tho [...] command me to spea [...] to thee, and commaun [...] me to feare thee, and d [...] these destroy one ano [...]ther? There is no per [...]plexity in thee, my God; [...] inextricablenes in the [...] my light, & my clearn [...] my Sun, and my Moon [...] that directest me as [...] [Page 123] in the night of aduersity and fear, as in my day of prosperity & confidēce. I must thē speak to thee, at all times, but when must I feare thee? At all times to. Whē didst thou rebuke any petitioner, with the name of Importunate? Luc: 18.1. Thou hast propo [...]d to vs a parable of a Iudge that did Iustice at last, because the client was Importunate, and troubled him; But thou hast told vs plainely, that thy vse in that parable, was not, that thou wast troubled [Page 124] with our importunities, but (as thou saye [...] there) That wee should a [...]wayes pray. Luc. 11.5. And to th [...] same purpose thou pro [...]posest another, that Is [...] presse my friend, when he [...] is in bed, at midnight, [...] lend mee bread, though h [...] will not rise because I a [...] his friend, yet because [...] mine importunitie, he wil [...] God will do this, when [...]soeuer thon askest, an [...] neuer call it importunit [...]e Pray in thy bed at mid [...]night, and God wil n [...] say, I will heare thee t [...] mo [...]row [Page 125] vpon thy knees, at thy bed side; pray vpon thy knees there, then, & God will not say, I will heare thee on Sunday, at Church; God is no dilatory God, no froward God; Praier is neuer vnseasonable, God is neuer asleep nor absent. But, O my God, can I doe this, and feare thee; come to thee, and speak to thee, in all places, at all houres, and feare thee? Dare I aske this question? There is more boldnesse in the question, then in the comming: [Page 126] I may doe it [...] though I feare thee; [...] cannot doe it, except feare thee. So well has [...] thou prouided, that w [...] should alwayes fea [...] thee, as that thou ha [...] prouided, that we shol [...] fear no person but the [...] nothing but thee; n [...] men? No. Whom? Psa. 27.1. Th [...] Lord is my helpe, and m [...] saluation, whome shall feare? Great enemies: no [...] great enemies; for no [...]nemies are great to them that feare thee [...] Num: 14.9. Feare not the people of th [...] [Page 127] l [...]d, for they are Bread to you; They shall not on [...]y not eat vs, not eat our bread, but they shall bee our Bread; Why should, we feare them? But for all this Metaphoricall Bread, victory ouer enemies, that thought to deuoure vs, may we not feare, that we may lack bread literally? And feare famine, though we feare not enemies? Young Lyons do lacke, Ps: 35.70. and suffer Hunger, but they that seeke the Lord, shall not want any good thing. [Page 128] Neuer? Though it be [...] well with them at on [...] time, may they not fea [...] that it may be worse [...] Wherfore should I feare [...] the dayes of euill, 46.5 saies th [...] seruant Dauid? Thoug [...] his own sins had mad [...] them euill, he feared th [...] not [...] No? not if this euil [...] determin in death? No [...] though in a death [...] no [...] though in a death infli [...]ct [...]d by violence by ma [...]lice, by our own des [...] feare not the sentence [...] death, Ecclus 41 3. if thou feare God Thou art, O my God, so [Page 129] far from admitting vs, that feare thee, to feare others, as that thou makest others to feare vs; As Herod feared Iohn, Mar. 6.20. because hee was a holy, and a iust man, & obserued him How fully then O my abundant God, how gently, O my sweet, my easie God doest thou vnentangle m [...]e, in any scruple arising out of the consideration of this thy feare? Is not this that which thou intendest, when thou sayst, Psa: 25.14. The secret of the Lord is with them, that [Page 130] feare him; The secret, th [...] mistery of the right v [...] of feare. Dost thou no [...] meane this, when tho [...] sayest, Pro: 2.5. Wee shall vnde [...]stand the feare of the Lord [...] Haue it, and haue benef [...] by it; haue it, and stan [...] vnder it; be directed b [...] it, and not bee deiecte [...] with it. And dost tho [...] not propose that Chur [...] for our example, whe [...] thou sayest, Act. 9.31. The Churc [...] of Iudea, walked in t [...] feare of God; they ha [...] it, but did not sit dow [...] lazily, nor fall down [...] [Page 131] weakly, nor sinke vnder it. There is a feare which weakens men in the seruice of God: Adam was afrayde, Gen. 3.10. because hee was naked. They who haue put off thee, are a prey to all. They may feare, for thou wilt laugh, Pro: 1.26: when their feare comes vpon them, as thou hast tolde them, 10.24. more then once; And thou wilt make them feare, Ps: 14.5. where no cause of feare is, as thou hast told them more then once too. 53 6. There is a feare [Page 132] that is a punishment o [...] former wickednesses, & induces more: Thoug [...] some said of thy Sonne, Christ Iesus, Io: 7.13. that hee wa [...] a good Man, yet no M [...] spake openly, for feare [...] the Iewes: 19.38. Ioseph was h [...] Disciple; but secretly, fo [...] for feare of the Iewes: Th [...] Disciples kept som [...] meetings, 29.19. but with dores shut, for feare of the Iewes. O my God, thou giuest vs feare for ballast to cary vs stedily in all weathers. But thou wouldst ballast vs, wit [...] [Page 133] such sand, as should haue gold in it, with that feare which is thy feare; for tke feare of the Lord is his treasure. Esai: 33.6. Hee that hath that, lacks nothing that Man can haue, nothing that God does giue. Timorous men thou rebukest; Mat. 8.26. Why are yee fearfull, O yee of little faith? Such thou dismissest from thy Seruice, with scorne, though of them there went from Gideons Army, Iud: 7.3. 22000. and remained but 10. Such thou sendest farther [Page 134] then so; thithe [...] from whence they n [...]uer returne, The fearefu [...] and the vnbeleeuing, Apo: 21.8. i [...] that burning lake, which [...] the second death. There [...] a feare, & there is a hope which are equall abo [...]minations to thee; fo [...] they were confounded, Iob. 6.20. b [...]cause they hoped, saies th [...] seruant Iob: because they had mis-placed, mis-ce [...] tred their hopes; they hoped, and not in thee, an [...] such shall feare, and no [...] feare thee. Bu [...] in th [...] feare, my God, and my [Page 135] feare, my God, and my hope, is hope, and loue, & confidence, and peace, and euery limbe, and ingredient of Happinesse enwrapped; for Ioy includes all; and feare, and ioy consist together; nay, constitute one another; The women d [...]parted from the sepulchre, Mat. 28.8. the women who were made supernumerary Apostles, Apostles to the Apostles; Mothers of the Church, and of the Fathers, Grandfathers of the Church, the Apostles themselues, t [...]e women, [Page 136] Angels of the Resurrec [...]on, went from the sep [...]chre, with feare and i [...] they ran, sayes the [...] and they ran vpon tho [...] two legs, feare, & ioy; [...] both was the right leg [...] they ioy in thee O Lor [...] that feare thee, and fear [...] thee only, who feele th [...] ioy in thee. Nay, thy fear [...] and thy loue, are in [...]eperable; still we are called vpon, in infinite places, to feare God; yet th [...] Commandement, which [...] the roote of all, is, Tho [...] shalt loue the Lord thy God [...] [Page 137] Hee doeth neither, that doth not both; hee omits neither, Ps: 111.10. that does one. Therfore when thy seruant Dauid had said, Pro. 1.7. that the feare of the Lord is the beginning of wisedome, And his Sonne had repeated it againe, Hee that collects both, calls this feare, Ecclus. 1.20.27. the root of wisdome; And that it may embrace all, hee ca [...]ls it wisedome it selfe. A wise man therefore is neuer without it, neuer without the exercise of it: Therefore thou sent [...]st [Page 138] Moses to thy people That they might learne [...] feare thee all the dayes [...] their liues: Deu: 4.10, not in he [...]uy, and calamitous, bu [...] in good, and cheerf [...] dayes too: for, No [...] who had assurance [...] his deliuerance, yet m [...]ued with feare, Heb: 11.7. prepar [...] an Arke, for the sauing [...] his house. Ecclus: 18.27. A wise man [...] feare in euery thing. An [...] th [...]refore though I pr [...]tend, to no other degre [...] of wisedome, I am a [...]bundantly rich in thi [...] that I lye heere posse [...] [Page 139] with that feare, which [...]s thy feare, both that [...]his sicknesse is thy immediate correction, and [...]ot meerely a naturall [...]ccident, and therefore [...]earefull, because it is a [...]earefull thing to fall into [...]hy hands, and th [...]t this [...]eare preserues me from all inordinate feare, arising out of the infirmi [...]ie of Nature, because [...]hy hand being vpon me, thou wilt neuer let me fall out of thy hand.
6. PRAYER.
O Most mightie God [...] mercifull God, [...] God of all true sorrow, [...] true ioy to, of all feare, [...] of al hope to, as thou ha [...] giuen me a Repentan [...] not to be repented of, [...] giue me, O Lord, a fea [...] of which I may not b [...] afraid. Giue me tende [...] and supple, and confo [...]mable affections, that [...] I ioy with them that i [...] and mourne with them that mourne, so I ma [...] [Page 141] feare with them that feare. And since thou hast vouchsafed to discouer to me, in his feare whom thou hast admit [...]ed to be my assistance, [...]n this sickenesse, that [...]here is danger therein, [...]et me not, O Lord, go a [...]out to ouercome the sense of that fear, so far, as to pretermit the fitting, and preparing of my selfe, for the worst [...]hat may bee feard, the passage out of this life. Many of thy blessed Martyrs, haue passed out [Page 142] of this life, without a [...] showe of feare; But th [...] most blessed Sonne him [...]selfe did not so. T [...] Martys were known [...] be but men, and therfo [...] it pleased thee, to fill t [...] with thy Spirit, and th [...] power, in that they d [...] more then Men; Thy S [...] was declard by thee, [...] by himselfe to be G [...] and it was requisite, th [...] he should declare him [...]selfe to be Man also, i [...] the weaknesses of ma [...] Let mee not therefo [...] O my God, bee ashame [...] [Page 143] of these feares, but let me feele them to determine, where his feare [...]id, in a present submit [...]ing of all to thy will. And when thou shalt [...]aue inflamd, & thawd my former coldnesses, [...]nd indeuotions, with [...]hese heats, and quench [...]d my former heates, with these sweats, and [...]nundations, and rectified my former pre [...]umptions, and negligences with these fears, [...]ee pleased, O Lord, as one, made so by thee, to [Page 144] thinke me fit for th [...] And whether it be th [...] pleasure, to dispose [...] this body, this garme [...] so, a [...] to put it to a fa [...]ther wearing in th [...] world, or to lay it vp i [...] the common wardrope, th [...] graue, for the next, glo [...]rifie thy selfe in th [...] choyce now, & glorif [...] it then, with that glory which thy Son, our S [...]uiour Christ Iesus hat [...] purchased for them whome thou make [...] partakers of his Resu [...]rection. Amen.
7. Socios sibi iungier instat. The Phisician desires to haue others ioyned with him.
7. MEDITATION.
THere is more feare, therefore more cause. If the Phisician desire help, the burden grows great: There is a grouth of the Disease then; But [...]here must bee an Au [...]umne to; But whether an Autumne of the disease [Page 146] or mee, it is not my pa [...] to choose: but if it bee of me, it is of both; My disease cannot suruiu [...] mee, I may ouer liue i [...] Howsoeuer, his desiring of others, argues his ca [...]dor, and his ingenuitie; [...] the danger be great, he [...] iustifies his proceeding [...] & he disguises nothing that calls in witnesses [...] And if the danger be not great, hee is not a [...]bitious, that is so read [...] to diuide the thankes and the honour of th [...] work, which he beg [...] [Page 147] alone, with others. It diminishes not the dignitie of a Monarch, that hee deriue part of his care vpon others; God hath not made many Suns, but he hath made many bodies, that receiue, and giue light. The Romanes began with one King; they came to two Consuls; they returned in extremities, to one Dictator [...] whether in one, or many, the soueraigntie is the same, in all States, and the danger is not the more, and the prouidence [Page 148] is the more, whe [...] there are more Phisicians; as the State is the happier, where businesses are carried by more counsels, then can be in one breast, how large soeuer, Dise [...]ses themselues hold Consultations, and conspire how they may multiply, and ioyn with one another, & exalt one anothers force so; and shal we not cal [...] Phisicians, to consultations? Death is in an old mans dore, he appeare [...] and tels him so, & dea [...] [Page 149] is at a yong mans backe, and saies nothing [...] Age is a sicknesse, and Youth is an ambush, and we need so many Phisicians, as may make vp a Watch, and spie euery inconuenience. There is scarce any thing, that hath not killed some body; a haire, a feather hath done it [...] Nay, that which is our best Antidote against it, hath donn it; the best Cordiall hath bene deadly poyson; Men haue dyed of Ioy, and allmost forbidden their friends to [Page 150] weep for thē, whē they haue seen thē dye laughing. Euen that Tiran Dy [...]nisius (I thinke the same [...] that suffered so much a [...]ter) who could not d [...] of that sorrow, of tha [...] high fal, from a King t [...] a wretched priuate ma [...] [...] dyed of so poore a Ioy, as to be declard by the peo [...]ple at a Theater, that he [...] was a good Poet. We sa [...] oftē th [...]t a Man may li [...] of a litle; but, alas, o [...] how much lesse may a Man dye? And therfore the more assistants, th [...] [Page 151] better; who comes to a day of hearing, in a caus of any importāce, with one Aduocate? In our Funerals, we our selfs haue no interest; there wee cannot aduise, we cannot direct: And though some Nations, (the Egiptians in particular) built thēselues better Tombs, then houses, because they were to dwell longer in them; yet, amongst our selues, the greatest Man of Stile, whom we hane had, The Conqueror, was lest, as soone as his soule [Page 152] left him, not only without persons to assist at his graue, but without a graue. Who will keepe vs then, we know not [...] As long as we can, l [...]t vs admit as much helpe as wee can; Another, and another Phisician, is not another, and another Indication, and Symptom of death, but an other [...] and another Assistant, and Proctor of life: No [...] doe they so much feed the imagination with apprehension of danger, as the vnderstanding [Page 153] with comfort; Let not one bring Learning, another Diligence, another Religion, but euery one bring all, and, as many Ingredients enter into a Receit, so may many men make the Receit. But why doe I exercise my Meditation so long vpon this, of hauing plentifull helpe in time of need? Is not my Meditation rather to be enclined another way, to condole, and commiserate their distresse, who haue none? How [Page 154] many are sicker (perchance) then I, and laid in their wofull straw at home (if that co [...]ner be a home) and haue no more hope of helpe, though they die, then of preferment, though they liue? Nor doe no more expect to see a Phisician then, then to bee an Officer after; of whome, the first that takes knowledge, is th [...] Sexten that buries them [...] who buries them in obliuio [...] too? For the [...] doe but fill vp the number [Page 155] of the dead in the Bill, but we shall neuer heare their Names, till wee reade them in the Booke of life, with our owne. How many are sicker (perchance) then I, and thrown into Hospitals, where, (as a fish left vpon the Sand, must stay the tide) they must stay the Phisicians houre of visiting, and then can bee but visited? How many are sicker (perchaunce) then all we, and haue not this Hospitall to couer them, [Page 156] not this straw, to lie in, to die in, but haue thei [...] Graue-stone vnder them and breathe out thei [...] soules in the eares, and in the eies of passengers, harder then their bed, the flint of the stre [...]t [...] That taste of no part of our Phisick, but a sparing dyet; to whom ordinary porridge would bee Iulip enough, the refuse of our seruants, Bezar enough, and the off scou [...]ing of our Kitchin tables, Cordiall enough. O my soule, when thou art [Page 157] not enough awake, to blesse thy God enough for his plentifull mercy, in affoording thee many Helpers, rememb [...]r how many lacke them, and helpe them to them, or to those other things, which they lacke as much as them.
7. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, thy blessed Seruant Augustine begg'd of thee, [Page 158] that Moses might come and tell him what he [...] meant by some place of Genesis: May I ha [...] leaue to aske of th [...] Spirit, that writ th [...] Booke, why when D [...]uid expected newes fi [...] Ioabs armie, 2 Sam. 18 25. and that th [...] Watchman tolde him that hee sawe a man ru [...]ning alone, Dauid conclu [...]ded out of that circumstance, So al, but our Translation takes it. Euen Burcdorf. & Schindler. That if hee ca [...] alone, hee brought [...] newes? I see the Gra [...]mar, the word signifie so, and is so euer accep [...]ted, [Page 159] Good newes; but I see not the Logique, nor the Rhetorique, how Dauid would prooue, or perswade that his newes was good, because hee was alone, except a greater cōpany might haue made great impressions of danger, by imploring, and importuning present supplies. Howsoeuer that bee, I am sure, that that which thy Apostle sayes to Timothy, 2.4.11. Onely Luke is with me, Luke, and no body but Luke [...] hath a taste of [Page 160] cōplaint, & sorrow in it [...] Though Luke want no testimony of abilitie, o [...] forwardnes, of constancie, & perseuerance, in assisting that great building which S. Paul laboured in, yet S. Paul is affected with that, that ther was none but Luke, to assist [...] We take S. Luke to haue bin a Phisician, & it admits the application the better, that in the presence of one good Phisician, we may bee glad of more. It was not only a ciuill spirit of policy, [Page 161] or order that moued Moses father in law, to perswade him to diuide [...]he burden of Gouernmēt, Exod. 18 13. & Iudicature, with others, & take others to his assistance, but it was [...]lso thy immediat spirit O my God, that mou'd Moses to present vnto [...]hee 70 of the Elders of Israel, Num. 11 16. to receiue of that spirit, which was vpon Moses onely before, such [...] portion as might ease [...]im in the gouernmēt of that people; though Moses alone had indowments [Page 162] aboue all thou gauest him othe [...] assistants. I consider th [...] plentifull goodnesse, [...] my God, in employing Angels, more then on [...] in so many of thy remarkable workes. O [...] thy Sonne, thou saist, Heb. 1.6 I [...] all the Angels of God w [...]ship him; If that bee i [...] Heauen, vpon Earth, h [...] sayes that hee could co [...]maund twelue legions [...] Angels; Mat. 26.53. And when H [...]uen, and Earth shall b [...] all one, at the last day [...] Thy Sonne, O God, the S [...] [Page 163] of Man, Mat. 25.31. shall come in his glory, and all the holy Angels with him. The Angels that celebrated his birth to the Shepheards, Luc. 21.15. the Angels that celebrated his second birth, his Resurrection to the Maries, were in the plurall, Io. 20.12. Angells associated with Angels. Gen. 28.12. In Iacobs ladder, they which ascended and descended, & maintain'd the trade between Heauen and Earth, between thee and vs, they who haue the Commission, Psa. 91.13. and charge to guide vs in [Page 164] all our wayes, they wh [...] hastned Lot, Gen. 19.15. and in him [...] vs, from places of danger, and tentation, the [...] who are appoynted to instruct & gouerne vs in th [...] Church heere, Apo. 1.20. they who are sent to punish the disobedient and refractar [...], Apo. 8.2. they that are to be the Mowers, Mat. 13.39. and haruest me [...], after we are growne [...]p in one field, the church, [...] the day of Iudgmēt, they that are to carrie o [...] soules whither they ca [...]ed Lazarus, Luc. 16.22. they who attend at the seueral gate [...] [Page 165] of the new Ierusalem, Apoc. 21.12. to admit vs there; all these, who administer to thy seruants, from the first, to their last, are Angels, Angels in the plurall, in euery seruice, Angels associated with Angells. The power of a single Angell wee see in that one, who in one night destroyed almost 200. thousand in Sennacheribs army, 1. Reg. 19.35. yet thou often imployest many; as we know the power of saluation is abundantly in any one Euangelist, and [Page 166] yet thou hast afforded vs foure. Luc. 4.18. Thy Sonne pro [...]claimes of himselfe, th [...] thy Spirit, hath annoynte [...] him to preach the Gospel [...] [...] yet he hath giuen othe [...]s for the perfiting of the S. in the worke of the Mi [...]stery. Eph. 4.11. Thou hast made him Bishop of our soules, 1. Pet 2.25. but there are others Bi [...]shops too. Hee gaue the holy Ghost, Io. 20.22. & others gaue it also. Thy way, O m [...] God, (and, O my God, tho [...] louest to walk in thine own waies, for they are large) thy way from th [...] [Page 167] beginning, is multiplication of thy helps; and therfore it were a degree of ingratitude, not to accept this mercy of affording me many helpes for my bodily health, as a type and earnest of thy gracious purpose now, and euer, to affoord mee the same assistances. That for thy great Helpe, thy Word, I may seeke that, not frō corners, nor Conuenticles, nor schismatical singularities, but frō the assotiation, & communion of thy Catholique [Page 180] Church, and those persons, whom thou has [...] alwayes furnished th [...] Church withall: And that I may associate th [...] Word, with thy Sacr [...]ment, thy Seale with thy Patent; and in that S [...]cramēt associate the sig [...] with the thing signified, the Bread with the Bod [...] of thy Sonne, so, as I ma [...] be sure to haue receiu [...] both, and to bee ma [...] thereby, (as thy blesse [...] seruant Augustine sayes) the Arke, and the Mon [...]ment, & the Tombe of th [...] [Page 169] most blessed Sonne, that hee, and all the merits of his death, may, by that receiuing, bee buried in me, to my quickning in thi [...] world, and my immortall establishing in the next.
7. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most gracious God, who gauest to thy seruants in the wildernes, thy Man [...]a, bread so conditiond, qualified so, as that, to [Page 170] euery man, Manna tasted like that, which that man liked best, I humbly beseech thee, to make this correction, which I acknowledg to be part of my daily bread, to tast so to me, not as I would, but as thou wouldest haue it taste, and to conform my tast, and make it agreeable to thy will [...] Thou wouldst haue th [...] corrections tast of hum [...]liation, but thou wouldest haue them tast [...] consolation too; taste o [...] danger, but tast of ass [...]rance [Page 171] too. As therefore thou hast imprinted in all thine Elements, of which our bodies consist, two manifest qualities, so that, as thy fire dries, so it heats too; and as thy water moysts, so it cooles too, so, O Lord, in these corrections, which are the elements of our regeneration, by which our soules are made thine, imprint thy two qualities, those two operations, that as they scourge vs, they may scourge vs into the way to thee: [Page 172] that when they haue shewed vs, that we are nothing in our selues, they may also shew vs, that thou art all things vnto vs. When therfore in this particular circū stance, O Lord (but none of thy iudgements are circumstances; they are all of the substance of thy good purpose vpon vs [...] whē in this particular, that he, whō thou has [...] sent to assist me, desires assistants to him, thou hast let mee see, in how few houres thou cans [...] [Page 173] throw me beyond the helpe of man, let me by the same light see, that no vehimence of sicknes, no tentation of Satan, no guiltines of sin, no prison of death, not this first, this sicke bed, not the other prison, the close and dark graue, can remooue me from the determined, and good purpose, which tho [...] sealed concerning mee. Let me think no degree of this thy correction, casuall, or without signification; but yet when I [Page 174] haue read it in that language, as it is a correction, let me translate it into another, and read it as a mercy; and which of these is the Originall, and which is the Translation, whether thy Mercy, or thy Correction, wer [...] thy primary, and original intētion in this sicknes, I cannot conclude, though death conclud [...] me; for as it must necessarily appeare to bee [...] correction, so I can hau [...] no greater argument o [...] thy mercy, then to die i [...] [Page 175] thee, and by that death, to bee vnited to him, who died for me.
8. Et Rex ipse suum mittit. The King sends his owne Phisician.
8. MEDITATION.
STil when we return to that Meditation, that Man, is a World, we find new discoueries. Let him be a world, and him self will be the land, and misery the sea. His misery, [Page 176] (for misery is his, his own; of the happinesses euen of this world, h [...]e is but tenant, but of misery the free-holder; of happines hee is but the farmer, but the vsufructuary but of misery, the Lord, the proprietary) his misery, as the sea, swells aboue all the hilles, and reaches to the remotest parts of this earth, Man; who of himselfe is bu [...] dust, and coagula [...]ed and kneaded into earth; by teares, his ma [...]te [...] is [...]arth, his forme, misery. In this [Page 177] world, that is Mankinde, the highest ground, the eminētest hils, are kings; and haue they line, and lead enough to fadome this sea, and say, My misery is but this deepe? Scarce any misery equal to sicknesse; and they are subiect to that equally, with their lowest subiect. A glasse is not the lesse brittle, because a Kings face is represented in it, nor a King the lesse brittle, because God is represented in him. They haue Phisicians continually [Page 178] about them, & therfore sicknesses, or the worst of sicknesses, continuall feare of it. Are they gods? He that calld them so, cannot flatter. They are Gods, but sick [...] gods; and God is presented to vs vnder many human affections, as fa [...] as infirmities; God is called angry, and sorry, and weary, and heauy; bu [...] neuer a sicke God: for then hee might die like men, as our gods do. The worst that they could say in reproch, & scorn [...] [Page 179] of the gods of the Heathē, was, that perchance they were asleepe; but Gods that are so sicke, as that they cannot sleepe; are in an infirmer condition. A God, and need a Phisician? A Iupiter & need an Aesulapius? that must haue Rh [...]ubarbe to purge his Choller, lest he be too angry, and Agarick to purge his s [...]gme, lest he be too drowsie; that as Tertullian saies of the Aegyptian gods, plants and herbes, That God was beholden to Man, for growing [Page 180] in his garden, so wee must say of these gods [...] Their eternity, ( an eternity of threescore & ten yeares) is in the Apothecaryes shop, and not in the Metaphoricall Deity. But their Deitye is betten expressed in their humility, then in their [...]eighth; when abounding and ouerflowing, as God, in means of doing good, they descend, as God, to a communication of their abundāces with men, according to their necessities, [Page 181] then they are Gods. No man is well, that vnderstands not, that values not his being well; that hath not a cheerefulnesse, and a ioy in it; and whosoeuer hath this Ioy, hath a desire to communicate, to propagate that, which occasions his happinesse, and his Ioy, to others; for euery man loues witnesses of his happinesse; and the best witnesses, are experimentall witnesses; they who haue tasted [Page 182] of that in themselues, which makes vs happie: It consummate [...] therefore, it perfits the happinesse of Kings, to confer, to transfer, honor, and riches, and (as they can) health, vpon those that need them.
.8 EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, may God, I haue a warning from the Wise man, Ecclus. 13.23. tha [...] when a rich man speaketh, euery man holdeth his tong [...] [Page 183] and looke what hee saith, they extoll it to the clouds; but if a poore man speake, they say, what fellowe is this? And if hee stumble, they will help to ouerthrow him. Therefore may my words be vnderualued, and my errors aggrauated, if I offer to speak of Kings; but not by thee, O my God, because I speak of them as they are in thee, & of thee, as thou art in them. Certainly those men prepare a way of speaking negligently, or irreuerently of thee, that [Page 184] giue themselues that liberty, in speaking of thy Vice-gerents, Kings: Augustus, for thou who gauest Augustus the Empire, gauest it to Nero to, and as Vespasian had it from thee, so had Iulian; Though Kings deface in themselues thy first image, in their owne soule, thou giuest no man leaue to deface thy second Image, imprinted indelibly in their power. But thou knowest, O God, that if I should be slacke in celebrating thy mercies to [Page 185] mee exhibited by that royall Instrument [...] my Sou [...]raigne, to many other faults, that touch vpon Allegiance, I should add the worst of all, Ingratitude; which consti [...]utes an il man, & faults which are defects in any particular sunction, are not so great, as those that destroy our humanitie [...] It is not so ill, to bee an ill subiect, as to be an ill man [...] for he hath an vniuersall illnesse, ready to blow [...] and powre out it selfe into any mold, any [Page 186] form, and to spend it selfe in any function. As therfore thy Son did vpon the Coyne, I look vpon the King, and I ask [...] whose image, & whose inscription hee hath; and he hath thine; And I giue vnto thee, that which i [...] thine, I recommend his happines to thee, in al [...] my sacrifices of thanks, for that which hee enioyes, and in al my praiers, for the continuance and inlargement of thē But let me stop, my G [...]d, and consider; will no [...] [Page 187] this look like a piece of art, & cunning, to conuey into the world an opinion, that I were more particularly in his care, then other men? And that heerein, in a a shew of humilitie, and thankefulnesse, I magnifie my selfe more then there is cause? But let not that iealousie stopp mee, O God, but let me go forward in celebrating thy mercy exhibited by him. This which hee doth now, in assisting so my bodily health, [Page 188] I know is common to me with many? Many, many [...] haue tasted of that expression of his gracio [...]snes. Where hee [...]an giue health by his owne hands, hee doth [...] and to more then any of his predecessors haue done: Therefore hath God reserued one diseas [...] for him, that hee onely might cure it, though perchance not onely by one Title, and Interest, nor only as one king. To those that need it not, in that kind, and so cannot [Page 189] haue it by his owne hand, he sends a donatiue of health, in sending his Phisician: The holy King S. Lewis in France, & our Maud is celebrated for that, that persōally they visited Hospitals, & assisted in the Cure, euen of loathsome Diseases. And when that religious Empress Placilla, the wife of Theodosius was told, that she diminished her [...]elfe to much in those personal assistances, & might doe enough in sending [...]eliefe, shee said, Shee [Page 190] would send in that capacitie, as Empresse, but shee would go to, in that capacitie, as a Christian, as a fellow member of the body o [...] thy Son, with them. 2 Sam. 19.12. So thy seruāt Dauid applies him selfe to his people, so he incorporates himselfe in his people, by calling them his brethren, his bones, his flesh; and when they fel vnder thy hand, euen to the pretermitting of himselfe, he presses vpon thee, by praye [...] for them; 2 Sam. 24. [...]. I haue si [...]ned, but these sheepe what [Page 191] haue they donne? let thine hand I pray thee be against me and against my fathers house. It is kingly to giue; v. 17. whē Araumah gaue that great, & free present to Dauid, that place, those instrumēts for sacrifice, and the sacrifices themselues, it is said there, by thy Spirit, Al these things did Araumah giue, as a King, to the King. To giue is an approaching to the Condition of Kings, but to giue health, an approching to the King, of Kings, to thee. But this [Page 192] his assisting to my bodily health, thou knowest O God, and so doe some others of thine Honorable seruants know, is bu [...] the twy-light, of that day, wherein thou [...] thorow him, hast shind vpon mee before; but the Eccho of that voyce, whereby thou, through him, hast spoke to mee before; Then, when he, first of any man conceiu'd a hope, that I might be of some vse in thy Church, and descended to an intimation, to [Page 193] a perswasiō, almost to a solicitatiō, that I would embrace that calling. And thou who hadst put that desire into his heart, didst also put into mine, an obedience to it; and I who was sicke before, of a vertiginous giddines, and irresolution, and almost spent all my time in consulting how I should spend it, was by this man of God, and God of men, put into the poole, and recouerd: when I asked, perchāce, a stone, he gaue me bread, [Page 194] when I asked, perchāce, a Scorpion, he gaue me a fish; whē I asked a temporall office, hee denied not, refused not that, but let mee see, that hee had rather I took this. These things, thou O God, who forgettest nothing, hast not forgot, though perchance, he, because they were benefits, hath; but I am not only a witnesse, but an instance, 2 Chro. 14.8. that ou [...] Iehosophat hath a care to ordaine Priests, as well as Iudges: and not only to send Phisicians fo [...] [Page 195] temporall, but to bee the Phisician for spirituall health.
8. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who though thou haue reserued thy tresure of perfit ioy, and perfit glory, to be giuen by thine own hands then, whē by seeing thee, as thou art in thy selfe, and knowing thee, as we are known, wee shall possesse in an instant, and possesse for [Page 196] euer, all that can any way cōduce to our happinesses, yet here also in this world, giuest vs such earnests of that full payment, as by the value of the earnest, we may giue some estimat of the tresure, humbly, and thākfully I acknowledge, that thy blessed spirit instructs mee, to make a differēce of thy blessings in this world, by that difference of the Instruments, by which it hath pleased thee to deriue them vnto me. As we see [Page 197] thee heere in a glasse, so we receiue frō thee here by reflexion, & by instruments. Euen casual things come from thee; and that which we call Fortune here, hath another name aboue. Nature reaches out her hand, and giues vs corne, and wine, and oyle, and milk, but thou fillest her hand before, and thou openest her hand, that she may rain down her showres vpon vs. Industry reaches out her hand to vs, and giues vs fruits of our labor, [Page 198] for our selues, & our posteritie; but thy hand guides that hand, when it sowes, and when it waters, and the increase is from thee. Friends reach out their hands, & prefer vs, but thy hand supports that hād, that supports vs. Of all these thy instruments haue I receiued thy blessing, O God, but bless thy name most for the greatest; that as a member of the publike, and as a partaker of priuate fauours too, by thy right hand, thy powerfull [Page 199] hand set, ouer vs, I haue had my portion, not only in the hearing, but in the preaching of thy Gospel. Humbly beseeching thee, that as thou continuest thy wonted goodnes vpon the whol world, by the wonted meanes, & instruments, the same Sun, and Moon, the same Nature, and Industry, so to continue the same blessings vpon this State, and this Church by the same hand, so long, as that thy Son when he comes in the clouds, may [Page 200] find him, or his Son, or his sonnes sonnes ready to giue an account, & able to stand in that iudgmēt, for their faithfull Stewardship, and dispensation of thy talēts so abūdantly cōmitted to them; & be to him, O God, in all distēpers of his body, in all anxieties of spirit, in all holy sadnesses of soule, such a Phisician in thy proportion, who art the greatest in heauen, as hee hath bin in soule, & body to me, in his proportiō, who is the greatst vpon earth.
9. Medicamina scribūt. Vpon their Consultation, they prescribe.
9. MEDITATION.
THey haue seene me, and heard mee, arraign'd mee in these fetters, and receiu'd the euidence; I haue cut vp mine own Anatomy, diffected my selfe, and they are gon to read vpon me. O how manifold, and perplexed a thing, nay, how wanton and various a thing is ruine and destruction? [Page 202] God presented to Dauid three kinds, War, Famine, and Pestilence; Satan left out these, and brought in, fires frō heauen, and windes from the wildernes. If there were no ruine but sicknes, wee see, the Masters of that Art, can scarce nūber, not name all sicknesses; euery thing that disorders a faculty, & the function of that is a sicknesse: The names wil not serue thē which are giuen frō the place affected, the Pluris [...] is so; nor from the effect [Page 203] which it works, the falling sicknes is so; they cā not haue names ynow, from what it does, nor where it is, but they must extort names frō what it is like, what it resembles, & b [...]t in some one thing, or els they would lack names; for the Wolf, and the Canker, and the Polypus are so; and that question, whether there be more names or things, is as perplexd in sicknesses, as in any thing else; except it be easily resolud vpon that side, that there are [Page 204] more sicknesses thē names. If ruine were reduc'd to that one way, that Man could perish noway but by sicknes, yet his danger were infinit; and if sicknes were reduc'd to that one way, that there were no sicknes but a feuer, yet the way were infinite still; for it would ouerlode, & oppress any naturall, disorder and discompose any artificiall Mem [...]ry, to deliuer the names of seuerall Feuers; how intricate a worke then haue they, who ar [...] [Page 205] gone to consult, which of these sicknesses mine is, and then which of these feuers, and then what it would do, and thē how it may be countermind. But euen in ill, it is a degree of good, whē the euil wil admit consultation. In many diseases, that which is but an accident, but a symptom of the main disease, is so violēt, that the phisician must attend the cure of that, though hee pretermi [...] (so far as to intermi [...]) the cure of the disease it self. Is it not so in [Page 206] States too? somtimes the insolēcy of those that are great, put the people into commotions; the great disease, & the greatest danger to the Head, is the insolency of the great ones; & yet, they execute Martial law, they come to present executions vpō the people, whose commotion was indeed but a simptom, but an accident of the maine disease; but this symptom, grown so violent, wold allow no time for a consultatiō. Is it not so in the accidents of the diseases [Page 207] of our mind too? Is it not euidently so in our affections, in our passions? If a cholerick man be ready to strike, must I goe about to purge his choler, or to breake the blow? But where there is room for consultatiō, things are not desperate. They consult; so there is nothing rashly, incōsideratly done; and then they prescribe, the [...] write, so there is nothing couertly, disguisedly, vnavowedly done. In bodily diseases it is not alwaies so; sometimes, assoon as [Page 208] the Phisicians foote is in the chamber, his knife is in the patients arme; the disease would not allow a minutes forbearing of blood, nor prescribing of other remedies. In States & matter of gouernmēt it is so too; they are somtimes surprizd with such accidēts, as that the Magistrat asks not what may be done by law, but does that, which must necessarily be don in that case But it is a degree of good, in euill, a degree that ca [...]ies hope & cōfort in it, when we may haue r [...]course [Page 209] to that which is written, and that the proceedings may bee apert, and ingenuous, and candid, and auowable, for that giues satisfaction, and acquiescence. They who haue receiued my Anatomy of my selfe, consult, and end their consultatiō in prescribing, and in prescribing Phisick; proper and conuenient remedy: for if they shold come in again, and chide mee, for some disorder, that had occasion'd, and inducd, or that had hastned and exalted this sicknes, [Page 210] or if they should begin to write now rules for my dyet, and exercise when I were well, this were to antidate, or to postdate their Consultation, not to giue phisick. It were rather a vexation, then a reliefe, to tell a condemnd prisoner, you might haue liu'd if you had done this; & if you can get your pardon, you shal do wel, to take this, or this course hereafter. I am glad they know (I haue hid nothing from them) glad they consult, [Page 211] (they hide nothing frō one another) glad they write (they hide nothing frō the world) glad that they write and prescribe Phisick, that there are remedies for the present case.
9. EXPOSTVLATION.
My God, my God, allow me a iust indignation, a holy detestation of the insolēcy of that Man, who because he was of that high rāke, of whō thou hast said, [Page 212] They are gods, thought himselfe more then equall to thee; That king of Aragon Alfonsus, so perfit in the motions of the heauenly bodies, as that hee aduentured to say, That if he had bin of councell with thee, in the making of the heauens, the the heauens should haue bin disposed in a better order, then they are. 2. Chro. 25.16. The king Amasiah would not indure thy prophet to reprehend him, but asked him in anger, Art thou made of the kings councell [...] [Page 213] When thy Prophet Esaias askes that questiō who hath directed the spirit of the Lord, 42.13. or being his councellor hath tought him. It is after hee had setled and determined that office, vpon thy sonne, and him onely, whē he ioyns with those great Titles, The mighty God, 9.6. and the prince of peace, this also, the Councellor; and after he had setled vpon him, the spirit of might, and of councell. 11.2. So that thē, thou O God, thogh thou haue no councell from Man, [Page 214] yet doest nothing vpon man, without councell; In the making of Man there was a consultation; let vs make man. Gen. 1.26. In the preseruing of Man, O thou great preseruer [...] men, Iob. thou proceededst by councell; for all thy externall workes, are the workes of the whole Trinity, and their hand is to euery action. How much more must I apprehend, that al you bles [...]sed, & glorious persons of the Trinitie are in Consultation now, what you [Page 215] wil do with this in firm body, with this leprous Soule, that attends, guiltily, but yet comfortably, your determination vpō it. I offer not to counsell them, who meet in consultatiō for my body now, but I open my in [...]rmities, I anatomise my body to them. So I do my soule to thee, O my God, in an hūble confession, That there is no veine in mee, that is not full of the bloud of thy Son, whō I haue crucified, & Crucified againe, by multiplying [Page 216] many, and often repeating the same sinnes that there is no Artery in me, 1. Tim. 4.1. that hath not the spirit of error, Ose. 4.12 the spirit of lust, the spirit of giddines in it [...] Esa. 19.14. no bone in me that is not hardned with the custo [...]e of sin, and nourished, and soupled with the marrow of sinn; no sinews, no ligamēts, that do not tie, & chain sin and sin together. Yet, O blessed and glorious Trinity, O holy, & whole Colledge, and yet but one Phisician, if you take this confession [Page] into a consult [...]on, my case is not desp [...]rate my destructiō is not decreed; If your consultation determin in writing, if you refer mee to that which is written, you intend my recouery: for al the way, O my God, (euer constant to thine owne wayes) thou hast proceeded opē ly, intellig [...]bly, manifestly, by the book. From thy first book, the book of life, neue [...] shut to thee, but neuer throughly open to vs; frō thy second book, the booke of Nature, wher though [Page 218] subobscurely, and in shadows, thou hast expressed thine own Image; frō thy third booke; the Scriptures, where thou hadst writtē all in the Old, and then lightedst vs a cādle to read it by, in the New Testament; To these thou hadst added the booke of iust, and vsefull Lawes, established by them, to whom thou hast committed thy people; To those, the Manualls, the pocket, the bosome books of our own Consciences, To [...]hose thy partcular books [Page 219] of all our particular sins; and to those, the Booke with seuen seales, which only the Lamb which was slaine, was found worthy to opē; Apoc. 7.1. which, I hope, it shall not disagree with the meaning of thy blessed Spirit, to interpre [...]e, the promulgation of their pardon, and righteousnes, who are washed in the blood of that Lambe; And if thou refer me to these Bookes, to a new reading, a new triall by these bookes [...] this feuer may be but a burning in the hand, and I [Page 220] may be saued, thogh not by my book, mine own conscience, nor by thy other books, yet by thy first, the book of life, thy decree for my election, and by thy last, the book of the Lamb, and the shedding of his blood vpon me; If I be stil vnder cōsultation, I am not cōdemned yet; if I be sent to these books I shall not be condem'd at all: for, though there be somthing written in some of those books (particularly in the Scriptur [...]) which some men turne to poyson, yet vpon these [Page 221] consultations (these confessions, these takings of our particular cases, into thy consideration) thou intendest all for phisick, & euen from those Sentences, from which a too [...]late Repenter will sucke desperation, he that seeks thee early, shall receiue thy morning dew, thy seasonable mercy, thy forward consolation.
9. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who art of so pure eyes, as [Page 222] that thou canst not look vpon sinn, and we of so vnpure constitutions, as that wee can present no obiect but sin, and therfore might iustly [...]eare, that thou wouldst turn thine eyes for euer from vs, as, though we cannot indure afflictions in our selues, yet in thee we can [...] so thogh thou canst not indure sinne in vs, yet in [...]hy Sonn thou canst, and he hath taken vpon him se [...]fe, and presented to thee, al those sins, which might displease thee in [Page 223] vs. There is an Eye in Nature, that kills, assoon as it sees, the eye of a Serpent; no eye in Nature, that nourishes vs by looking vpon vs; But thine Eye, O Lord, does so. Looke therefore vpon me, O Lord, in this distresse, and that will recall mee from the borders of this bodily death; Look vpon me, and that wil raise me again from that spirituall death, in which my parents buried me, when they begot mee in sinne, and in [Page 224] which I haue pierced euen to the lawes of hell, by multiplying such heaps of actuall sins, vpon that foundation, that root of originall sinn. Yet take me again, into your Consultation, O blessed and glorious Trinitie; & thogh the Father know, that I haue defaced his Image receiued in my Creation; though the Son know, I haue neglected mine interest in the Redemption, yet, O blessed spirit, as thou art to my Consciēce, so be to them a witnes, that [Page 225] at this minute, I accept that which I haue so often, so often, so rebelliously refused, thy blessed inspirations; be thou my witnes to them, that at more poores then this slacke body sweates teares, this sad soule weeps blood; and more for the displeasure of my God, then for the stripes of his displeasure. Take me then, O blessed, & glorious Trinitie, into a Recōsultation, and prescribe me any phisick; If it bee a long, & painful holding [Page 226] of this soule in sicknes, it is phisick, if I may discern thy hand to giue it, & it is phisick, if it be a speedy departing of this Soule, if I may discerne thy hand to receiue it.
10. Lentè & Serpenti satagunt occurrere Morbo. They find the Disease to steale on insensibly, and endeauour to meet with it so.
10. MEDITATION.
THis is Natures nest of Boxes; The Heauens containe the Earth, the [Page 227] Earth, Cities, Cities, Men. And all these are Concentrique; the common center to them all, is decay, ruine; only that is Ecoentrique, which was neuer made, only that place, or garment rather, which we can imagine, but not demonstrate, That light, which is the very emanation of the light of God, in which the Saints shall dwell, with which the Saints shall be appareld, only that bends not to this Center, to Ruine; that which was not [Page 228] made of Nothing, is not threatned with this annihilation. All other things are; euen A [...]gels, euē our soules; they moue vpon the same poles, they bend to the same Center; and if they were not made immortall by preseruation, their Nature could not keepe them from sinking to this center, Annihilation. In all these (the frame of the heuens, the States vpō earth, & Men in them, comprehend all) Those are the greatest mischifs, which [Page 229] are least discerned; the most insensible in their wayes come to bee the most sensible in their ends. The Heauens haue had their Dropsie, they drownd the world, and they shall haue their Feuer, and burn the world. Of the dropsie, the flood, the world had a foreknowledge 120 yeares before it came; and so some made prouision against it, and were sau [...]d [...] the feuer shall break out in an instant, & consume all; The dropsie did no [Page 230] harm to the heauens, frō whence it fell, it did not put out those lights, it did not quench those heates; but the feuer, the fire shall burne the furnace it selfe, annihilate those heauens, that b [...]eath it out; Though the Dog-Starre haue a pestilent breath, an infectious exhalation, yet because we know when it wil rise, we clo [...]he our selues, & wee die [...] our selues, and wee shadow our selues to a sufficient preuētion; but Comets and blazing [Page 231] starres, whose effects, or significations no man can interrupt or frustrat, no man foresaw: no Almanack tells vs, when a blazing starre will bre [...]k out, the matter is carried vp in secret; no Astrologer tels vs when the effects wil be accomplishd, for thats a secret of a higher spheare, then the other; and that which is most secret, is most dangerous. It is so also here in the societies of men, in States, & Commōwealths. Twentie rebellious drums make [Page 232] not so dāgerous a noise, as a few whisperers, and secret plotters in corners. The Canon doth not so much hurt against a wal, as a Myne vnder the wall; nor a thousand enemies that threaten, so much as a few that take an oath to say nothing. God knew many heauy sins of the people, in the wildernes and after, but still he charges thē with that one, with Murmuring, murmuring in their hearts, secret disobediences, secre [...] repugn [...]nces [Page 233] against his declar'd wil; and th [...]se are the most deadly, the most pernicious. And it is so to, with the diseases of the body; and that is my case. The pulse, the vrine, the sweat, all haue sworn to say nothing, to giue no Indication of any dangerous sicknesse. My forces are not enfeebled, I find no decay in my strength; my prouisions are not cut off, I find no abhorring in mine appetite; my counsels are not corrupted nor infatuated, I find [Page 234] no false apprehēsions, to work vpon mine vnderstāding [...] and yet they see, that inuisibly, & I feele, that insensibly the disease preuailes. The disease hath established a Kingdome, an Empire in mee, and will haue certaine Arcana Imperij, secrets of State, by which it will proceed, & not be boūd to declare [...]hem. But yet against those secret conspiracies in the State, the Magistrate hath the ra [...]k [...] and against these insensible diseases, Phisicians [Page 235] haue their examiners; and those these imploy now.
10. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, I haue bin told, and told by relation, by her own brother, that did it, by thy seruant Nazianzen, that his Sister in the vehemēcy of her prayer, did vse to threaten thee, with a holy importunitie, with a pious impudencie. I dare not doe so, O [...] God; but as thy seruant Augustin, wisht that Adam had [Page 236] not sinned, therefore that Christ might not haue died, may I not to this one purpose wish, Iosephus. That if the Serpent before the tentation of Eue, did goe vpright, and speake, that he did so still, because I should the sooner heare him, if he spoke, the sooner see him, if he went vpright? In his curse, I am cursed too; his creeping vndoes mee: for howsoeuer hee begin at the heele, and doe but bruise that; Iere. 9.21 yet he, and Death in him is come into our windowes; [Page 237] into our Eyes, and Eares, the entrāces, & inlets of our soule. He works vpon vs in secret, & we doe not discerne him; And one great work of his vpon vs, is to make vs so like himselfe, as to sin in secret, that others may not see vs; But his Master-piece is, to make vs sin in secret so, as that we may not see our selus sin. For the first, the hiding of our sins from other men, hee hath induo'd that, which was his off-spring from the [Page 238] beginning, Io. 8.44. A lye: for man, is in Nature, yet, in posses [...]ion of some such sparkes of ingenuitie, & noblenesse, as that, but to disguise Euill, hee would not lye. The bodie, the sinne, is the Serpents, and the garment that couers it, the lye, is his too. These are his; but the hiding of sinne from our selues, is Hee himselfe: when we haue the sting of the Serpent in vs, and doe not sting our selues, the venim of sin, and no remorse for [Page 239] sinn, then, as thy blessed Sonne said of Iudas, Hee is a deuill, Ioh. 6.70 not that he had one, but was one, so we are become deuils to our selues, and we haue not only a Serpent in our bosome, but we our selues, are to our selues that Serpent. How farre did thy seruant Dauid presse vpon thy pardon, in that petition, Ps. 19.12 Clense thou me from secret sinns? can any sin bee secret? for, a great part of our sinnes, though, sayes thy Prophet, we conceiue them in [Page 240] the darke, vpon ou [...] bed, yet sayes he, We doe them in the light; there are many sins, which we glorie in doing, and would not doe, if no body should know thē. Thy blessed seruant August confesses, that hee was ashamed of his shamefastnes, and tendernesse of Conscience, and that he often be lied himself with sinnes, which he neuer did, lest he should be vnacceptable to his sinfull companions. But if we would conceale them, (thy Pr [...] phet found such a desire, [Page 241] and such a practise in some, whē he said, Esay 47.10. Thou hast trusted in thy wickedkednes, and thou hast sayd, None shall see me) yet can we conceale thē? Thou O God, canst heare of them by others; The voice of Abels blood, Gen. 4.10. will tell thee of Cains murder; the Heauens themselues will tell thee Heauē shal reueale his iniquity; Ier. 20.27. a smal creature alone, shall doe it, Eccle. 10.20. A bird of the ayre shall carry the voice, and tell the matter: Thou wilt trouble no Informer, thou thy [Page 242] selfe reuealedst Adams sin, Gen. 3.8. to thy selfe; And the manifestation of sin is so ful to thee, Eccles. 12.14. as that thou shalt reueale all to all, Thou shalt bring euery worke to Iudgement, with euery secret thing, and there is nothing couered, that shall not bee reuealed: Mat. 10.26. But, O my God, there is another way of knowing my sins, which thou louest better then any of these; To know them by my Confession. As Phisicke works so, it drawes the peccant humour to it selfe, [Page 243] that when it is gathered together, the weight of it selfe may carry that humour away, so thy Spirit returns to my Memory my former sinnes, that being so recollected, they may powre out them [...]elues by Confession. When I kept silence, sayes thy seruant Dauid, day, and night, thy hand was heauy vpon mee, Psal. 32.34. But when I said, 8.5. I wil confesse my transgressions vnto the Lord, thou forgauest the iniquitie of my sinne. Thou interpretest the very pu [...] pose [Page 244] of Confession so well, as that thou scarce leauest any new Mercy for the action it selfe. This Mercy thou leauest, that thou armest vs thereupon, against relapses into the sinnes which wee haue confessed. And that mercy, which thy seruant Augustine apprehends, when he sayes to thee, Thou hast forgiuē me those sinnes which I haue done, and those sinnes which only by thy grace I haue not done: they were done in our inclination to them, [Page 245] and euen that inclination needs thy mercy, and that Mercy he calls a Pardon. And these are most truly secret sinnes, because they were neuer done, and because no other man, nor I my selfe, but onely thou knowest, how many and how great sinnes I haue scaped by thy grace, which without that, I should haue multiplied against thee.
10. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most gracious God, who as thy Sonne Christ Iesus, though hee knew all things, yet said hee knew not the day of Iudgement, because he knew it not so, as that he might tell it vs; so though thou knowest all my sins, yet thou knowest them not to my comfort, except thou know them by my telling them to th [...]e, how shall I bring to thy knowledg by that way, [Page 247] those sinns, which I my selfe know not? If I accuse my selfe of Originall sin, wilt thou ask me if I know what originall sin is? I know not enough of it to satisfie others, but I know enough to condemne my self, & to solicit thee. If I confesse to thee the sinnes of my youth, wilt thou aske me, if I know what those sins were? I know them not so well, as to name them all, nor am sure to liue houres enough to name them al, (for I did [Page 248] thē then, faster then I can speak them now, when euery thing that I did, conduc'd to some sinne) but I know thē so well, as to know, that nothing but thy mercy is so infinite as they. If the naming of Sinnes, of Thought, Word, and Deed, of sinns of Omission, and of Action, of sins against thee, against my neighbour, and against my self, of sinns vnrepented, and sinnes relapsed into after Repentance, of sinnes of Ignorance, and sinnes against [Page 249] the testimonie of my Conscience, of sinnes against thy Commaundements, sinnes against thy Sonnes Prayer, and sinns against our owne Creed, of sins against the laws of that Church, & sinnes against the lawes of that State, in which thou hast giuen mee my station, If the naming o [...] these sinnes reach not home to all mine, I know what will; O Lord pardon me, me, all those sinnes, which thy Sonne Christ Iesus suffered for, [Page 250] who suffered for all the sinnes of all the world; for there is no sinne amongst all those which had not been my sinne, if thou hadst not beene my God, and antidated me a pardon in thy preuenting grace. And since sinne in the nature of it, retaines still so much of the author of it, that it is a Serpent, insensibly insinuating it selfe, into my Soule, let thy brazen Serpent, (the contemplation of thy Sonne crucified for me) be euermore [Page 251] present to me, for my recouery against the sting of the first Serpent; That so, as I haue a Lyon against a Lyon, The Lyon of the Tribe of Iudah, against that Lyon, that seekes whom hee may deuoure, so I may haue a Serpent against a Serpent, the Wisedome of the Serpent, against the Malice of the Serpent, And, both against that Lyon, and Serpent, forcible, and subtill tentations, Thy Doue with thy Oliue, in thy Arke, Humilitie, [Page 252] and Peace, and Reconciliation to thee, by the ordinances of thy Church [...] Amen.
11. Nobilibus (que) trahunt, a cincto Corde, venenum, Succis & Gemmis, & quae generosa, Ministrant Ars, et Natura, instillant. They vse Cordials, to keep the venim and Malignitie of the disease from the Heart.
11. MEDITATION.
WHence can wee take a better argument, [Page 253] a clearer d [...] monstration, that all the Greatnes of this world, is built vpon opinion of others, and hath in it self no reall being, nor power of subsistence, then from the heart of man? It is alwayes in Action, and motion, still busie, still pretending to doe all, to furnish all the powers, and faculties with all that they haue; But if an [...]nemy dare rise vp against it, it is the soonest endangered, the soonest defeated of any part. [Page 254] The Braine will hold out longer then it, and the Liuer longer then that; They will endure a Siege; but an vnnatural heat, a rebellious heat, will blow vp the heart, like a Myne, in a minute. But howsoeuer, since the Heart hath the birthright, and Primogeniture, and that it is Natures eldest Sonne in vs, the part which is first borne to life in man, and that the other parts, as younger brethren, and seruants in this family, haue a dependance [Page 255] vpon it, it is reason that the principall care bee had of it, though it bee not the strongest part; as the eldest is oftentimes not the strongest of the family. And since the Braine, and Liuer, and Heart, hold not a Triumuirate in Man, a Soueraigntie equally shed vpon them all, for his well-being, as the foure Elements doe, for his very being, but the Heart alone is in the Principalitie, and in the Throne, as [Page 256] King, the rest as Subiects, though in eminent Place, and Office, must contribute to that, as Children to their Parents, as all persons to all kindes of Superiours, though oftētimes, those Parents, or those Superiours, bee not of stronger parts, then themselues, that serue and obey them that are weaker; Neither doth this Obligation fall vpon vs, by second Dictates of Nature, by Consequences, and Conclusions arising [Page 257] out of Nature, or deriu'd from Nature, by Discourse, (as many things binde vs, euen by the Law of Nature, and yet not by the primarie Law of Nature; as all Lawes of Proprietie in that which we possesse, are of the Law of Nature, which law is, To giue euery one his owne, and yet in the primarie law of Nature, there was no Proprietie, no Meum & Tuum, but an vniuersall Communitie ouer all; So the obedience [Page 258] of Superiours, is of the law of Nature, and yet in the primarie law of Nature, there was no Superioritie, no Magistracie;) but this contribution of assistance of all to the Soueraigne, of all parts to the Heart, is from the very first dictates of Nature; which is in the first place, to haue care of our owne Preseruation, to looke first to our selues; for therefore doth the Phisician intermit the present care of Braine, or [Page 259] Liuer, because there is a possibilitie, that they may subsist, though there bee not a present and a particular care had of them, but there is no possibilitie that they can subsist, if the Heart perish: and so, when we seeme to begin with others, in such assistances, indeed wee doe beginne with our selues, and wee our selues are principally in our contemplation; and so all these officious, and mutuall assistances, [Page 260] are but complements towards others, and our true end is our selues. And this is the reward of the paines of Kings; sometimes they neede the power of law, to be obeyd; and when they seeme to be obey'd voluntarily, they who doe it, doe it for their owne sakes. O how little a thing is all the greatnes of man, and through how false glasses doth he make shift to multiply it, and magnifie it to himselfe? And yet this [Page 261] is also another misery of this King of man, the Heart, which is also applyable to the Kings of this world, great men, that the venime & poy [...]on of euery pestilentiall disease directs it selfe to the heart, affects that, (pernicious affection,) and the malignity of ill men, is also directed vpon the greatest, and the best; and not only greatnesse, but goodnesse looses the vigour of beeing an Antidote, or Cordiall against it. And as the [Page 262] noblest, and most generous Cordialls that Nature or Art afford, or can prepare, if they be often taken, and made familiar, become no Cordialls, nor haue any extraordinary operation, so the greatest Cordiall of the Heart, patience, if it bee much exercis'd, exalts the venim and the malignity of the Enemy, and the more we suffer, the more wee are insulted vpon. When God had made this Earth of nothing, it was but a little [Page 263] helpe, that he had, to make other things of this Earth: nothing can be neerer nothing, then this Earth; and yet how little of this Earth, is the greatest Man? Hee thinkes he treads vpon the Earth, that all is vnder his fe [...]te, and the Braine that thinkes so, is but Earth; his highest Region, the flesh that couers that, is but earth; and euen the toppe of that, that, wherein so many Absolons take so much pride, is but a [Page 264] bush growing vpon that Turfe of Earth. How litle of the world is the Earth? And yet that is all, that Man hath, or is. How little of a Man is the Heart; and yet it is all, by which he is: and this continually subiect, not onely to forraine poysons, conueyed b [...] others, but to intestine poysons bred in our selues by pestilentiall sicknesses. O who, if before hee had a beeing, he could haue sense [Page 265] of this miserie, would buy a being here vpon these conditions?
11. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, all that thou askest of mee, Prou. 23.26. is my Heart, My Sonne, giue mee thy heart; Am I thy sonne, as long as I haue but my heart? VVilt thou giue mee an Inheritance, a Filiation, any thing for my heart? O thou, who saydst to Satan, Hast thou considered [Page 266] my seruant Iob, Iob. 1.8 that there is none like him vpon the earth, shall my feare, shall my zeale, shall my iealousie haue leaue to say to thee, Hast thou considered my Heart, that there is not so peruerse a Heart vpon ea [...]th; and wouldest thou haue that; and shall I be thy Sonne, thy eternall Sonnes Coheire, for giuing that? Ier. 17 9 The Heart is deceitfull, aboue all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? Hee that askes that [Page 267] question, makes the answere, I the Lord search the Heart. When didst thou search mine? Dost thou thinke to finde it, as thou madest it in Adam? Thou hast searched since, and found all these gradations in the ill of our Hearts, Gen. 6.5 That euery imagination, of the thoughts of our hearts, is onely euill continually. Doest thou remember this, and wouldest thou haue my Heart? O God of all light, I know thou knowest all; and it is [Page 268] Thou, Amos 4.14. that declarest vnto man, what is his Heart. VVithout thee, O Soueraigne goodnesse, I could not know, how ill my heart were. Thou hast declared vnto mee, in thy Word, That for all this deluge of euill, that hath surrunded all Hearts, yet thou soughtest and foundest a man after thine owne heart, 1 Sam. 13 14. That thou couldest and wouldest giue thy people Pastours according to thine owne heart; Ier. 3.15. And I can gather out of thy [Page 269] Word, so good testimony of the hearts of men, as to finde single hearts, docile, and apprehensiue hearts; Hearts that can, Hearts that haue learnt; wise hearts, in one place, and in another, in a great degree, wise, perfit hearts; straight hearts, no peruersnesse without, and cleane hearts, no foulenesse within; such hearts I can find in thy Word; and if my heart were such a heart, I would giue thee my Heart. But I find stonie [Page 270] hearts too, and I haue made mine such: I haue found Hearts, Ezech. 11 19. that are snares; and I haue conuersed with such; hearts that burne like Ouens; Eccles. 7.26. and the fuell of Lust, and Enuie, and Ambition, hath inflamed mine; Hearts in which their Masters trust, And hee that trusteth in his owne heart, Prou. 28.26. is a foole; His confidence in his owne morall Constancie, and ciuill fortitude, will betray him, when thou shalt cast a spirituall [Page 271] dampe, a heauinesse, and dei [...]ction of spirit vpon him. I haue found these Hearts, and a worse then these, a Heart into the which the Deuill himselfe is entred, Iudas heart. Io. 13.2. The first kind of heart, alas, my God, I haue not; The last are not Hearts to bee giuen to thee; What shall I do? Without that present I cannot bee thy Sonne, and I haue it not. To those of the first kinde, thou giuest ioyfulnes of heart, Ecclus. 50.23. [Page 272] and I haue not that; To those of the other kinde, thou giuest faintnesse of heart: Leuit. 26 36. And blessed bee thou, O God, for that forbearance, I haue not that yet. There is then a middle kinde of Hearts, not so pe [...]fit, as to bee giuen, but that the very giuing, mends them: Not so desperate, as not to bee accepted, but that the very accepting dignifies them. Ios. 2.11. This is a melting heart, and a troubled heart; and a wounded [Page 273] heart, and a broken heart, and a contrite heart; and by the powerfull working of thy piercing spirit, such a Heart I haue; Thy Samuel spake vnto all the house of thy Israel, 1 Sam. 7.3. and sayd, If you returne to the Lord with all your hearts, prepare your hearts vnto the Lord. If my heart bee prepared, it is a returning heart; And if thou see it vpon the way, thou wilt carrie it [...]ome; Nay, the preparation is thine too; this [Page 274] melting, this wounding, this breaking, this contrition, which I haue now, is thy Way, to thy Ende; And those discomforts, are for all that, The earnest of thy Spirit in my heart; 2. Cor. 1.22. and where thou giuest earnest, thou wilt performe the bargaine. Naball was confident vpon his wine, but in the morning his heart dyed within him; 1. Sam. 25.37. Thou, O Lord, hast giuen mee Wormewood, and I haue had some diffidence vpon that; [Page 275] and thon hast cleared a Morning to mee againe, and my heart is aliue. Danids heart smote him, 24.5. when hee cut off the skirt from Saul; 1. Sam. 24.10. and his heart smote him, when hee had numbred his people: My heart hath strucke mee, when I come to number my sinnes; but that blowe is not to death, because those sinnes are not to death, but my heart liues in thee. But yet as long as I remaine in this great Hospitall, this sicke, this diseasefull [Page 276] world, as long as I remaine in this leprous house, this flesh of mine, this Heart, though thus prepared for thee, prepared by thee, will still be subiect to the inuasion of maligne and pestilent vapours. But I haue my Cordialls in thy promise; 1. Reg. 8.38. when I shall know the plague of my heart, and pray vnto thee, in thy house, thou wilt preserue that heart, from all mortall force, of that infection: And [Page 277] the Peace of God, Phil. 4.7 which passeth all vnderstanding, shall keepe my Heart and Minde through Christ Iesus.
11. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most gracious God, who in thy vpper house, the Heauens, though there bee many Mansions, yet art alike, and equally in euery Mansion, but heere in thy lower house, though thou fillest [Page 278] all, yet art otherwise in some roomes thereof, then in others, otherwise in thy Church, then in my Chamber, and otherwise in thy Sacraments, then in my Prayers, so though thou bee alwayes present, and alwayes working in euery roome of this thy House, my body, yet I humbly beseech thee to manifest alwayes a more effectuall presence in my heart, then in the other Offices. Into the house of [Page 279] thine Annoynted, disloyall persons, Traitors will come; Into thy House, the Church, Hypocrites, and Idolatrers will come; Into some Roomes of this thy House, my Body, Tentations will come, Infections will come, but bee my Heart, thy Bedchamber, O my God, and thither let them not enter. Iob made a Couenant with his Eyes, but not his making of that Couenant, but thy dwelling in his heart, enabled [Page 280] him to keepe that Couenaunt. Thy Sonne himselfe had a sadnesse in his Soule to death, and hee had a reluctation, a deprecation of death, in the approaches thereof; but hee had his Cordiall too, Yet not my will, but thine bee done. And as thou hast not deliuered vs, thine adopted sonnes, from these infectious tentations, so neither hast thou deliuered vs ouer to them, nor withheld thy Cordialls from vs. I was baptized in [Page 281] thy Cordiall water, against Originall sinne, and I haue drunke of thy Cordiall Blood, for my recouerie, from actuall, and habituall sinne in the other Sacrament. Thou, O Lord, who hast imprinted all medicinall vertues, which are in all creatures, and hast made euen the flesh of Vipers, to assist in Cordialls, art able to make this present sicknesse, euerlasting health, this weaknes, euerlasting strēgth, [Page 282] and this very deiection, and faintnesse of heart, a powerfull Cordiall. When thy blessed Sonne cryed out to thee, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken mee, thou diddest reach out thy hand to him; but not to deliuer his sad soule, but to receiue his holy soule; Neither did hee longer desire to hold it of thee, but to recommend it to thee. I see thine hand vpon mee now, O Lord, and I aske not why it comes, [Page 283] what it intends: whether thou wilt bidde it stay still in this Body, for some time, or bidd it meet thee this day in Paradise, I aske not, not in a wish, not in a thought: Infirmitie of Nature, Curiositie of Minde, are tentations that offer; but a silent, and absolute obedience, to thy will, euen before I know it, is my Cordiall. Preserue that to mee, O my God, and that will preserue mee to thee; that when thou hast [Page 284] Catechised mee with affliction here, I may take a greater degree, and serue thee in a higher place, in thy kingdome of ioy, and glory. Amen.
12. — Spirante Columbâ Suppositâ pedibus, Reuocantur ad ima vapores. They apply Pidgeons, to draw the vapors from the Head.
12. MEDITATION.
VVHat will not kill a man, if a [Page 285] vapor will? how great an Elephant, how small a Mouse destroyes? to dye by a bullet is the Souldiers dayly bread; but few men dye by haile-shot: A man is more worth, then to bee sold for single money; a life to be valued aboue a trifle. If this were a violent shaking of the Ayre by Thunder, or by Canon, in that case the Ayre is condensed aboue the thicknesse of water, of water baked into Ice, almost petrified, [Page 286] almost made stone, and no wonder that that kills; but that that which is but a vapor, and a vapor not forced, but breathed, should kill, that our Nourse should ouerlay vs, and Ayre, that nourishes vs, should destroy vs, but that it is a halfe Atheisme to murmure against Nature, who is Gods immediate Commissioner, who would not think himselfe miserable to bee put into the hands of Nature, who does [Page 287] not only set him vp for a marke for others to shoote at, but delights her selfe to blow him vp like a glasse, till shee see him breake, euen with her owne breath? nay if this infectious vapor were sought for, or trauail'd to, as Plinie hunted after the vapor of Aetna and dard, and challenged Death in the forme of a vapor to doe his worst, and felt the worst, he dyed; or if this vapor were met withall in an ambush, [Page 288] and we surprized with it, out of a long shut [...] Well, or out of a new opened Myne, who wold lament, who would accuse, when we had nothing to accuse, none to lament against, but Fortune, who is lesse then a vapour: But when our selues are the Well, that breaths out this exhalation, the Ouen that spits out this fiery smoke, the Myne that spues out this suffocating, and strangling dampe, who can euer after this, aggrauate [Page 289] his sorrow, by this Circumstance, That it was his Neighbor, his familiar friend, his brother that destroyed him, and destroyed him with a whispering, & a calumniating breath, when wee our selues doe it to our selues by the same meanes, kill our selues with our owne vapors? Or if these occasions of this selfe-destruction, had any contribution from our owne wils, any assistance from our owne intentions, nay frō [Page 290] our owne errors, wee might diuide the rebuke, & chide our selues as much as them. Feuers vpon wilful distempers of drinke, and surfets, Consumptions vpon intē perances, & licentiousnes, Madnes vpon misplacing, or ouer-bending our naturall faculties, proceed from our selues, and so, as that our selues are in the plot, and wee are not onely passiue, but actiue too, to our owne destruction; But what [Page 291] haue I done, either to breed, or to breath these vapors? They tell me it is my Melancholy; Did I infuse, did I drinke in Melancholly into my selfe? It is my thoughtfulnesse; was I not made to thinke? It is my study; doth not my Calling call for that [...] I haue don nothing, wilfully, peruersly toward it, yet must suffer in it, die by it; There are too many Examples of men, that haue bin their own executioners, and that haue [Page 292] made hard shift to bee so; some haue alwayes had poyson about them, in a hollow ring vpō their finger, and some in their Pen that they vsed to write with: some haue beat out their braines at the wal of their prison, and some haue eate the fire out of their chimneys: Coma, latro. in Val. Max. and one is said to haue come neerer our case then so, to haue strāgled himself, though his hands were bound, by crushing his throat between his knees; But [Page 293] I doe nothing vpon my selfe, and yet am mine owne Executioner. And we haue heard of death, vpon small occasions, and by scornefull instruments; a pinne, a combe, a haire, pulled, hath gangred, & killd; But when I haue said, a vapour, if I were asked again, what is a vapour, I could not tell, it is so insensible a thing; so neere nothing is that that red [...]ces vs to nothing. But extend this vapour, rarifie it; from so narow a roome, as our [Page 294] Naturall bodies, to any Politike body, to a State. That which is fume in vs, is in a State, Rumor, and these vapours in vs, which wee consider here pestilent, and infectious fumes, are in a State infectious rumors, detracting and dishonourable Calumnies, Libels. The Heart in that body is the King; and the Braine, his Councell; and the whole Magistracie, that ties all toge [...]her, is the Sinewes, which proceed from thence; and [Page 295] the life of all is Honour, and iust respect, and due reuerence; and therfore, when these vapors, these venimous rumors, are directed against these Noble parts, the whole body suf [...]ers. But yet for all their priuiledges, they are not priuiledged from our misery; that as the vapours most pernitious to vs, arise in our owne bodies, so doe the most dishonorable rumours, and those that wound a State most, arise at home. What ill [Page 296] ayre, that I could haue met in the street, what channell, what shambles, what dunghill, what vault, could haue hurt mee so much, as these home-bredd vapours? What fugitiue, what Almes-man of any forraine State, can doe so much harme, as a Detracter, a Libeller, a scornefull Iester at home? For, as they that write of Poysons, and of creatures naturally disposed to the ruine of Man, do as well mention the Flea, [Page 297] as the Viper, because the Flea, Ardionus. though hee kill none, hee does all the harme hee can, so euen these libellous and licentious Iesters, vtter the venim they haue, though sometimes vertue, and alwaies power, be a good Pigeon to draw this vapor from the Head, and from doing any deadly harme there.
12. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, as thy seruant Iames, [Page 298] when he asks that questiō, what is your life, prouides me my answere, 4.14. It is euen a vapor, that appeareth for a little time, & then vanisheth away, so if he did aske me what is your death, I am prouided of my answere, It is a vapor too; And why should it not be all one to mee, whether I liue, or die, if life, and death be all one, both a vapor. Thou ha [...]t made vapor so indifferent a thing, as that thy Blessings, and thy Iudgements are [Page 299] equally expressed by it, and is made by thee the Hierogliphique of both. Why should not that bee alwaies good, by which thou hast declared thy plentifull goodnes to vs? Gen. 2.6. A vapor went vp from the Earth, and watred the whole face of the ground, And that by which thou hast imputed a goodnes to vs, and wherein thou hast accepted our seruice to thee, sacrifices; for Sacrifices, were vapors, Leuit. 16 23. And in th [...]m it is said, [Page 300] that a thicke cloude of inc [...]nce went vp to thee. Ezech. 8.11. So it is of that, wherein thou comst to vs, the dew of Heauen, And of that wherein we come to thee [...] both are vapors; And hee, in whom we haue, and are all that we are or haue, tēporally, or spiritually, thy blessed Son, in the persō of wisedome, is called so to; she is (that is he is) the vapor of the power of God, Sap. 7.24. and the pure influence frō the glory of the Almighty. Hast thou, Thou, O my God, perfumed vapor, with [Page 301] thine own breath, with so many sweet acceptations, in thine own word, and shall this vapor receiue an ill, and infectious sense? It must; for, since we haue displeased thee, with that which is but vapor, (for what is sinne, but a vapor, but a smoke, though such a smoke, as takes away our sight, and disables vs from seeing our danger) it is iust, that thou punish vs with vapo [...]s to For so thou dost, as the Wiseman tels vs, Thou canst punish vs by [Page 302] those things, wherein wee offend thee; as he hath expressed it there, B [...] beasts newly created, breathing vapors. Sap. 11.18. Therefore that Commination of [...]hine, by thy Prophet, Ioel. 2.30. I will shew wonders in the heauen, and in the Earth, bloud and fire, and pillars of smoke [...] Act. 2.19. thine Apostle, who knewe thy meaning best, calls vapors of smoke. Psa. 78.8. One Prophe [...] presents thee in thy terriblenesse, so, There went out a smoke at his Nostrils, and another, the [Page 303] effect of thine anger so, Esa. 6.4. The house was filled with smoake; And hee that continues his Prophesie, as long as the world can continue, describes the miseries of the latter times so, Out of the bottomlesse pit arose a smoke, Apo. 9.2. that darkened the Sunne, and out of that smoke came Locusts, who had the power of Scorpions. Now all smokes begin in fire, & all these will end so too: The smoke of sin, and of thy wrath, will end in the [Page 304] fire of hell. But hast thou afforded vs no means to euaporate these smokes, to withdraw these vapors? When thine Angels fell from heauen, thou tookst into thy care, the reparatiō of that place, & didst it, by assuming, by drawing vs thither [...] when we fel from thee here, in this world, thou tookst into thy care the reparation of this place too, and didst it by assuming vs another way, by descending down to assume our nature, in [Page 305] thy Son. So that though our last act be an ascending to glory, (we shall ascend to the place of Angels) yet our first act is to goe the way of thy Sonn, descending, and the way of thy blessed spirit too, who descended in the Doue. Therefore hast thou bin pleased to afford vs this remedy in Nature, by this application of a Doue, to our lower parts, to make these vapors in our bodies, to descend, and to make that a type to vs, [Page 306] that by the visitation of thy Spirit, the vapors o [...] sin shall descend, & we tread them vnder our feet. At the baptisme of thy Son, the Doue descended, & at the exalting of thine Apostles to preach, the same spirit descēded. Let vs draw down the vapors of our own pride, our own wits, our own wils, our own inuētions, to the simplicitie of thy Sacraments, & the obedience of thy word, and these Doues, thus applied, shall make vs liue.
12. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who though thou haue suffred vs to destroy our selues, & hast not giuen vs the power of reparation in our s [...]lues, hast yet afforded vs such meanes of reparation, as may easily, and familiarly be compassed by vs, prosper I humbly beseech thee this means of bodily assistance in this thy ordinary creature, and prosper thy [Page 308] meanes of spirituall assistance in thy holy ordinances. And as thou hast caried this thy creature the Doue, through all thy wayes, through Nature, and made it naturally proper to conduce medicinally to our bodily health, Through the law, and made it a sacrifice for sinne there, and through the Gospel, and made it, & thy spirit in it, a witnes of thy sonnes baptisme there, so carry it, and the qualities of it home to my [Page 309] soule, and imprint there that simplici [...]y, that mildnesse, that harmelesnesse, which thou hast imprinted by Nature in this Creature. That so all vapours of all disobedience to thee, being subdued vnder my feete, I may in the power, and triumphe of thy sonne, treade victoriously vpon my graue, and trample vpon the Lyon, and Dragon, Psa. 91.13. that lye vnder it, to deuoure me. Thou O Lord by the Prophet callest the [Page 310] Doue, Eze. 7.16 the Doue of the Valleys, but promisest that the Doue of the Valleyes shall bee vpon the Mountaine: As thou hast layed mee low, in this Valley of sickenesse, so low, as that I am made fit for that question, asked in the field of bones, 37.3. Sonne of Man, can these bones liue, so, in thy good time, carry me vp to these Mountaynes, of which, euen in this Valley, thou affordest mee a prospect, the Mountain where thou dwellest, [Page 311] the holy Hill, vnto which none can ascend but hee that hath cleane hands, which none can haue, but by that one and that strong way, of making them cleane, in the blood of thy Sonne Christ Iesus. Amen.
13. Ingenium (que) malum, numeroso stigmate, fassus Pellitur ad pectus, Morbi (que) Suburbia, Morbus. The Sicknes declares the infection [...] [...]nd malignity thereof [...].
13. MEDITATION.
WEe say, that the world is made of sea, & land, as though they were equal; but we know that ther is more sea in the Western, thē in the Eastern Hemisphere [...] We say that the Firmament is full of starres; as [Page 313] though it were equally full; but we know, that there are more stars vnder the Northerne, then vnder the Southern Pole. Wee say, the Elements of man are misery, and happinesse, as though he had an equal proportion of both, and the dayes of man vicissitudinary, as though he had as many good daies, as ill, and that he liud vnder a perpetuall Equinoctial, night, and day equall, good and ill fortune in the same measure. But it is far frō [Page 314] that; hee drinkes misery, & he tastes happinesse; he mowes misery, and hee gleanes happinesse; hee iournies in misery, he does but walke in happinesse; and which is worst, his misery is positiue, and dogmaticall, his happinesse is but disputable, and problematicall; All men call Misery, Misery, but Happinesse changes the name, by the taste of man. In this accident that befalls m [...]e now, that this sicknesse declares it selfe by Spots, [Page 315] to be a malignant, and pestilentiall disease, if there be a comfort in the declaration, that therby the Phisicians see more cleerely what to doe, there m [...]y bee as much discomfort in this, That the malignitie may bee so great, as that all that they can doe, shall doe nothing; That an enemy declares himselfe, then, when he is able to subsist, and to pursue, and to atchiue his ends, is no great comfort. In intestine Conspiracies, voluntary [Page 316] Confessions doe more good, then confessions vpon the Rack; In these Infections, when Nature her selfe confesses, and cries out by these outward declarations, which she is able to put forth of her selfe, they minister comfort; but when all is by the strength of Cordials, it is but a Confession vpon the Racke, by which though wee come to knowe the malice of that man, yet wee doe not knowe, whether [Page 317] there bee not as much malice in his heart then, as before his confession; we are sure of his Treason, but not of of his Repentance; sure of him, but not of his Complices. It is a faint comfort to know the worst, when the worst is remedilesse; and a weaker then that, to know much ill, & not to know, that that is the worst. A woman is comforted with the birth of her Son, her body is eased of a burthen; but if shee [Page 318] could prophetically read his History, how ill a man, perchance how ill a sonne, he would proue, shee should receiue a greater burthē into her Mind. Scarce any purchase that is not cloggd with secret encumbrāces; scarce any happines, that hath not in it so much of the nature of false and base money, as that the Allay is more then the Mettall. Nay is it not so, (at least much towards it) euen in the exercise of Vertues? I must bee [Page 319] poore, and want, before I can exercise the vertue of Gratitude; miserable, and in torment, before I can exercise the vertue of patience; How deepe do we dig, and for how course gold? And what other Touch-stone haue we of our gold, but comparison? Whether we be as happy, as others, or as our selus at other times; O poore stepp toward being well, when these spots do only tell vs, that we are worse, then we were sure of before.
13. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, thou hast made this sick bed thine Altar, and I haue no other Sacrifice to offer, but my [...]elf; and wilt thou accept no [...]potted sacrifice? Doeth [...]hy Son dwel bodily in this flesh, that thou shouldst looke for an vnspottednes here? Or is the Holy Ghost, the soule of this body, as he is of thy Spouse, Can. 4.7. who is therfore all faire, and no spot in her? or hath thy Son himself no spots, [Page 321] who hath al our stains, & deformities in him? Or hath thy Spouse, thy Church, no spots, when euery particular limbe of that faire, & spotles body, euery p [...]rticular soule in that Church is full of staines, and spots? Thou bidst vs hate the garment, Iud. 23. that is spotted with the flesh. The flesh it selfe is the garment, and it spotteth it selfe, with it self. And if I wash my selfe with snow water; Iob 9.30. mine own clothes shall make me abominable; and yet no man [Page 322] yet euer hated his owne flesh: Ephes. 5.29. Lord, if thou looke for a spotlesnesse, whom wilt thou looke vpon? Thy mercy may goe a great way in my soule, & yet not leaue me without spots; Thy corrections may go far, & burn deepe, and yet not leaue me spotles: thy children apprehended that, whē they said, Iosua 22.17. From our former iniquitie wee are not cleansed, vntill this day, though there was a plague in the Congregation of the Lord; Thou r [...]in [...]st vpon [Page 323] vs, and yet doest not alwaies mollifie all our hardnesse; Thou kindlest thy fires in vs, and yet doest not alwayes burne vp all our drosse; Thou healst our woūds, and yet leauest scarres; Thou purgest the blood, and yet leauest spots. But the spots that thou hatest, are the spotts that we hide. Sap. 13.14. The Caruers of Images couer spotts, sayes the Wise man; When we hide our spotts, wee become Idolatrers of our owne staines, of our [Page 324] own foulenesses. But if my spots come forth, by what meanes soeuer, whether by the strēgth of Nature, by voluntary confessiō, (for Grace is the Nature of a Regenerate man, and the power of Grace is the strength of Nature) or by the vertue of Cordialls, (for euē thy Corrections are Cordials) if they come forth either way, thou receiuest that Confession with a gracious Interpretation. Gen. 30.33. When thy seruant Iacob practised an Inuention to procure spotts in [Page 325] his sheepe, thou diddest prosper his Rodds; and thou dost prosper thine owne Rodds, when corrections procure the discouery of our spotts, the humble manifestation of our sinns to thee; Till then thou maist iustly say, The whole need not the Phisician; Mat. 9.12. Till wee tell thee in our sicknes, wee think our selues whole, till we shew our spotts, thou appliest no medicine. But since I do that, shall I not, Iob 11.15. Lord, lift vp my face without spot, and [Page 326] be stedfast, and not feare. Euen my spotts belong to thy Sonnes body, and are part of that, which he came downe to this earth, to fetch, and challenge, and assume to himselfe. When I open my spotts, I doe but present him with that which is His, and till I do so, I detaine, & withhold his right. VVhen therfore thou seest them vpon me, as His, and seest them by this way of Confession, they shall not appear to me, as the [Page 327] pinches of death, to decline my feare to Hell; (for thou hast not left th [...] holy one in Hell, thy Sonne is not there) but these spotts vpon my Breast, and vpon my Soule, shal appeare to mee as the Constellations of the Firmament, to direct my Contemplation to that place, where thy Son is, thy right hand.
13. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most g [...]atious God, who [Page 328] as thou giuest all for nothing, if we consider any precedent Merit in vs, so giu'st Nothing, for Nothing, if we consider the acknowledgement, & thankefullnesse, which thou lookest for, after, accept my humble thankes, both for thy Mercy, and for this particular Mercie, that in thy Iudgement I can discerne thy Mercie, and find comfort in thy corrections. I know, O Lord, the ordinary discomfort that accompanies [Page 329] that phrase, That the house is visited, And that, that thy markes, and thy tokens are vpon the patient; But what a wretched, and disconsolate Hermitage is that House, which is not visited by thee, and what a Wayue, and Stray is that Man, that hath not thy Markes vpon him? These hea [...]es, O Lord, which thou hast broght vpon this body, are but thy chafing of the wax, that thou mightest seale me to thee; These spots [Page 330] are but the letters; in which thou hast written thine owne Name, and conueyed thy selfe to mee; whether for a present possession, by taking me now, or for a future renersion, by glorifying thy selfe in my stay here, I limit not, [...] condi [...]ion not, I choose not, I wish not, no more then the house, or land that passeth by any Ciuill conueyance. Onely be thou euer present to me, O my God, and this bed-chamber, & thy bed-chamber [Page 331] shal be all one roome, and the closing of these bodily Eyes here, and the opening of the Eyes of my Soule, there, all one Act.
14. Id (que) notant Criticis, Medici euenisse Diebus. The Phisicians obserue these accidents to haue fallen vpon the criticall dayes.
14. MEDITATION.
I Would not make Man worse then hee [Page 332] is, Nor his Condition more miserable then it is. But could I though I would? As a Man cannot flatter God, nor oue [...] prayse him, so a Man cannot iniure Man, no [...] vnderualue him. Thus much must necessarily be presented to his remembrance, that those false Happinesses, which he hath in this World, haue their times, & their seasons, and their Critical d [...]yes, & they are Iudged, and Denominated according to the times, when [Page 333] they befall vs. What poore Elements are our happinesses made off, if Tyme, Tyme which wee can scarce consider to be any thing, be an ess [...]ntial part of our h [...]pines? All things are done in some place; but if we consider place to be no more, but the next hollow Superficies of the Ayre, Alas, how thinne, & fluid a thing is Ayre, and how thinne a filme is a Superficies, and a Superficies of Ayre? All things are done in time [Page 334] too; but if we consider Tyme to be but the Measure of Motion, and howsoeuer it may seeme to haue three stations, past, present, and future, yet the first and last of these are not (one is not, now, & the other is not yet) And that which you call present, is not now the same that it wa [...], when you began to call it so in this Line, (before you sound that word, present, or that Monosyllable, now, the present, & the Now is past,) if this [Page 335] Imaginary halfe-nothing, Tyme be of the Essence of our Happinesses, how can they be thought durable? Tyme is not so; How can they bee thought to be? Tyme is not so; not so, considered in any of the parts thereof. If we consider Eternity, into that, Tyme neuer Entred; Eternity is not an euerlasting flux of Tyme; but Tyme is as a short parenthesis in a longe period; and Eternity had bin the same, as it is, though time had [Page 336] neuer beene; If we consider, not Eternity, bu [...] Perpetuity, not that which had no tyme to beginne in, but whic [...] shall out-liue Tyme an [...] be, when Tyme shall be [...] no more, wh [...]t A Minu [...] is the life of the Durablest Creature, compare [...] to that? And what [...] Minute is Mans life i [...] respect of the Sunnes, o [...] of a tree? and yet how little of our life is Occasion [...] opportunity to receyu [...] good in; and how litle of that occasion, doe wee [Page 373] apprehend, and lay hold of? How busie, and perplexed a Cobweb, is the Happinesse of Man here, that must bee made vp with a Watchfulnesse, to lay hold vpon Occasion, which is but a little peece of that, which is Nothing, Tyme? And yet the best things are Nothing without that. Honors, Pleasures, Possessions, presented to vs, out of time, in our decrepit, and distasted, & vnapprehensiue Age, loose [Page 338] their office, & loose their Name; They are not Honors to vs, that shall neuer appeare, nor come abroad into the Eyes of the people, to receiue Honor, from them who giue it: Nor pleasures to vs, who haue lost our sense to taste them [...] nor possessions to vs, who are departing from the possession of them. Youth is their Criticall Day; that Iudges them, that Denominates them, that inanimates, and informes them, and makes them [Page 339] Honors, and pleasures, and possessions, & when they come in an vnapprehensiue Age, they come as a Cordiall when the bell rings out, as a Pardon, when the Head is off. We reioyce in the Comfort of fire, but does any Man cleaue to it at Midsomer; Wee are glad of the freshnesse, & coolenes of a Vault, but does any Man keepe his Christmas there; or are the pleasures of the Spring acceptable in Autumne? If happinesse be [Page 376] in the season, or in the Clymate, how much happier then are Birdes then Men, who can change the Climate, and accompanie, and enioy the same season euer.
14. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God wouldest thou cal thy selfe the Ancient of dayes, Dan. 7, 9. if we were not to call our selues to an account for our dayes? wouldest thou chide vs Mat. 20.6.for standing idle heere all [Page 377] the day, if we were sure to haue more dayes, to make vp our haru [...]st? When thou biddest vs take no thought for tomorrow; 6 [...]34. for sufficient vnto the day (to euery day) is the euill thereof, is this truely, absolutely, to put of all that concernes the present life? When thou reprehendest the Galatians 4.10. by thy Message to them, That they obserued dayes, and Moneths, and Tymes, and Yeares, when thou sendest by the same Messenger, to forbid [Page 342] the Colossians all Criticall dayes, 2.16 [...] Indicatory dayes, Let no Man Iudge you, in respect of a holyday, or of a new Moone, or of a Saboth, doest thou take away all Consideration, all destinction of dayes? Though thou remoue them from being of the Essence of our Saluation, thou leauest them for assistances, and for the Exaltation of our Deuotion, to fix our selues, at certaine periodicall, & stationary times, vpon the consideration [Page 343] of those things, which thou hast done for vs, and the Crisis, the triall, the iudgment, how those things haue wrought vpon vs, and disposed vs to a spirituall recouery, and conualescence. For there is to euery man a day of saluation, 2. Cor. 6.2. Now is the accepted time, now is the day of saluation, And there is a great day of thy wrath, Apoc. 6.17. which no man shal be able to stand in; And there are euill dayes before, and therfore thou warnest vs, and armest [Page 380] vs, Eph. 6.1. Take vnto you the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand in the euill day. So far thē our daies must be criticall to vs, as that by consideration of them, we may make a Iudgment of our spiritual health; for that is the crisis of our bodily health; Thy beloued seruant S. Ioh. wishes to Gaius, 3. Ioh. v. 2. that he may prosper in his health so as his soule prospers; [...]or if the Soule be leane, the marrow of the Body is but water; if the Soule wither, the verdure and [Page 381] the good estate of the body, is but an i [...]lusion, & the goodliest man, a fearefull ghost. Shall wee, O my God, determine our thoughts, & shal we neuer determin our disputations vpon our Climaclericall yeares, for particular men, and periodical yeres, for the life of states and kingdoms, and neuer cōsider these in our long life, & our interest in the euerlasting kingdome? We haue exercisd our curiosity in obseruing that Adam [...] the eldest of the eldest [Page 346] world, died in his climactericall yere, & Sem the eldest son of the next world, in his; Abrahā the father of the faithfull, in his, & the blessed Virgin Mary, the garden, where the root of faith grew, in hers. But they whose Climacteriques wee obserue, imployd their obseruation vpon their critical dayes, the working of thy promise of a Messias vpō them. And shall we, O my God, make lesse vse of those dayes, who haue more of thē? We [...] [Page 347] who haue not only the day of the Prophets, Heb. 1.2. the first dayes, but the last daies, in which thou hast spoken vnto vs, by thy Son? We are the children of the day, 2. Thes. 5.8. for thou hast shind in as ful a Noone, vpon vs, as vpon the Thessaloniās; They who were of the night, (a Night, which they had superinduc'd vpon thē selues) the Pharises; pretended, That if they had bin in their Fathers daies, Mat. 23.30 [...] (those indicatory, and iudicatory, those Criticall [Page 384] dayes) they would not haue been partakers of the bloud of the Prophets; And shal we who are in the day, these Daies, not of the Prophets, but of the Son, stone those Prophets againe, and crucifie that Son againe, for all those euident Indications, and critical Iudicatures which are afforded vs? Those opposd aduersaries of thy Son, the pharises with the Herodiās, watch'd a Critical day; Then whē the State was incensd against him, Mat. 22.15: they came to [Page 385] tempt him in the dāgerous question of Tribute. They left him, & that day was the Critical day to the Saduces, The same day, saies thy Spirit, in thy word, the Saduces came to him to question him about the Resurrection; V. 23. and them hee silenc'd; They left him; & this was the Criticall day for the Scribe, expert in the Law, who thoght himselfe learneder then the Herodian, V. 34. the Pharise or Saduce; and he tēpted him about the great Commādement; & him [...] Christ [Page 350] left without power of replying. When all was done, & that they wēt about to begin their circle of vexation, and tentation again, Christ silē ces them so, that, as they had taken their Criticall dayes, to come, in That, and in that day, so Christ imposes a Criticall day vpon them, From that day forth, V. 46. saies thy Spirit, no man durst aske him any more questions. This, O my God, my most blessed God, is a fearefull Crisis, a fearefull Indication, [Page 351] when we will study, and seeke, and finde, what dayes are fittest to forsake thee in; To say, Now, Religion is in a Neutralitie in the world, and this is my day, the day of libertie; Now I may make new friends by changing my old religiō, and this is my day, the day of aduancement. But O my God, with thy seruāt Iacobs holy boldnes, who though thou lamedst him, Gen. 32.26. would not let thee goe, till thou hadst giuen him a blessing, Though thou [Page 388] haue laid me vpon my hearse, yet thou shalt not depart from mee, from this bed, till thou haue giuen me a Crisis, a Iudgment vpon my selfe this day. 2 Pet. 3.8 Since a day is as a thousand yeres with thee, Let, O Lord, a day, be as a weeke to me; and in this one, let me cōsider seuen daies, seuen critical daies, and iudge my selfe, that I be not iudged by thee. First, this is the day of thy visitatiō, thy comming to me; and would I looke to be welcome to thee, [Page 389] and not entertaine thee [...]n thy comming to me? We measure not the visitations of great persons, by their apparel, by their equipage, by the solemnity of their cōming, but by their very cōming; and therefore, howsoeuer thou come, it is a Crisis to me, that thou wouldest not loose me, who seekst me by any means. This leads me from my first day, thy visitation by sicknes, to a secōd, to th [...] light, and testimony of my Conscience. There I [Page 354] haue an euening, & a morning; a sad guiltinesse in my soule, but yet a cheerfull rising of thy Son to [...] Thy Euenings and Mornings made dayes in the Creation, and there is no mention of Nights; My sadnesses for sins are euenings, but they determin not in night, but deliuer me ouer to the day, the day of a Conscience deiected, but then rectified, accused, but then [...]cquitted, by thee, by him, who speaks thy word, & who is thy word, thy [Page 355] Son. From this day, the Crisis and examinatiō of my Cōscience, breaks out my third day, my day of preparing, & fitting my selfe for a more especial receiuing of thy Sonne, in his institutiō of the Sacrament: In which day though th [...]re be many dark passages, & slippry steps, to them who wil entangle, and endanger themselues, in vnnecessary disputations, yet there are light houres inough, for any man, [...]o goe his whole iourney [Page 392] intended by thee; to know, that that Bread and Wine, is not more really assimilated to my body, & to my blood, then the Body and blood of thy Sonne, is communicated to me in that action, and participation of that bread, and that wine. And hauing, O my God, walkd with thee these three dayes, The day of thy visitation, the day of my Conscience, The day of preparing for this seale of Reconciliation, I am the lesse afraid [Page 393] of the clouds or storms of my fourth day, the day of my dissolution & trāsmigratiō frō hence. Nothing deserues the name of happines, that makes the remēbrāce of death bitter; Ecclus. 41.1. And O death [...] bitter is the remēbrance of thee, to a man that liues at rest, in his possessions, the Man that hath Nothing to vexe him, yea vnto him, that is able to receiue meat? Therefore hast thou, O my God, made this sicknes, in which I am not able to receiue meate, [Page 358] my fasting day, my Eue, to this great festiual, my dissolution. And this day of death shall deliuer me ouer to my fift day, the day of my Resurrection; for how long a day soeuer thou make that day in the graue, yet there is no day between that, and the Resurrection. Then wee shall all bee inuested, reapparelled in our owne bodies; but they who haue made iust vse of their former dayes, be superinuested with glorie, [Page 359] wheras the others, condemned to their olde clothes, their sinfull bodies, shall haue Nothing added, but immortalitie to torment. And this day of awaking me, and reinuesting my Soule, in my body, and my body in the body of Christ, shall present mee, Bodie, and Soule, to my sixt day, The day of Iudgement; which is truely, and most literally, the Critical, the Decretory day; both because all Iudgement shall bee manifested to me then, [Page 396] and I shall assist in iudging the world then [...] and because then, that Iudgement shall declare to me, and possesse mee of my Seuenth day, my Euerlasting Saboth in thy rest, th [...] glory, thy ioy, thy sight, thy s [...]lfe; and where I shall liue as long, without reckning any more Dayes after, as thy Sonne, and thy Holy Spirit liued with thee, before you three made any Dayes in the Creation.
14. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who though thou didst permit darknesse to be before light in the Creation, yet in the making of light, didst so multiplie that light, as that it enlightned not the day only, but the night too, though thou haue suffered some dimnesse, some clouds of sadnesse & disconsolatenesse to shed themselues vpon my soule, I humbly blesse [Page 362] and thankfully glorifie thy holy name, that thou hast afforded mee the light of thy spirit, against which the prince of darkenesse cannot preuaile, nor hinder his illumination of our darkest nights, of our saddest thoughts. Euen the visitation of thy most blessed Spirit, vpon the blessed Virgin, is called an ouershadowing: There wa [...] the presence of the Holy Ghost, the fountaine of all light, and yet an ouershadowing; Nay [Page 363] except there were some light, there could bee no shadow. Let thy mercifull prouidence so gouerne all in this sicknesse, that I neuer fall into vtter darknesse, ignorance of thee, or inconsideration of my selfe; and let those shadowes which doe fall vpon mee, faintnesses of Spirit, and condemnations of my selfe, bee ouercome by the power of thine irresistible light, the God of consolation; that when those shadowes haue done their office [Page 364] vpon mee, to let me see, that of my selfe I should fall into irrecouerable darknesse, thy spirit may doe his office vpon those shadowes, and disperse them, and establish mee in so bright a day here, as may bee a Criticall day to me, a day wherein, and whereby I may giue thy Iudgement vpon my selfe, and that the words of thy sonne, spoken to his Apostles, may reflect vpon me, Mat. 28.20. B [...]hold, I am with you alwaies, euen to the end of the world.
Intereà insomnes noctes Ego duco, Diesque. I sleepe not day nor night.
15. MEDITATION.
NAturall Men haue cōceiued a two fold vse of sleepe; That it is a refreshing of the body in this life; That it is a preparing of the soule for the next; That it is a feast, and it is the Grace at that feast; That it is our recreation, and cheeres vs, and it is our Catechisme, and instructs [Page 366] vs; wee lie downe in a hope, that wee shall rise the stronger; and we lie downe in a knowledge, that wee may rise no more. Sleepe is an Opiate which giues vs rest, but such an Opiate, as perchance, being vnder it, we shall wake no more. But though naturall men, who haue induced secondary and figuratiue considerations, haue found out this second, this emblematicall vse of sleepe, that it should be a representation of death, [Page 367] God, who wrought and perfected his worke, before Nature began, (for Nature was but his apprentice, to learne in the first seuen daies, and now is his foreman, and works next vnder him) God, I say, intended sleepe onely for the refreshing of man by bodily rest, and not for a figure of death, for he intended not death it selfe then. But Man hauing induced death vpon himselfe, God hath taken Mans Creature, death, into his hand, and mended [Page 368] it; and whereas it hath in it selfe a fearefull forme and aspect, so that Man is afraid of his own Creature, God presents it to him, in a familiar, in an assiduous, in an agreeable, and acceptable forme, in sleepe, that so when hee awakes from sleepe, and saies to himselfe, shall I bee no otherwise when I am dead, than I was euen now, when I was asleep, hee may bee ashamed of his waking dreames, and of his Melancholique fancying out a hor [...]id and [Page 369] an affrightfull figure of that death which is so like sleepe. As then wee need sleepe to liue out our threescore and ten yeeres, so we need death, to liue that life which we cannot out-liue. And as death being our enemie, God allowes vs to defend our selues against it (for wee victuall ou [...] selues against death, twice euery day, as often as we eat) so God hauing so sweetned death vnto vs, as hee hath in sleepe, wee put our selues into our [Page 370] Enemies hands once euery day; so farre, as sleepe is death; and sleepe is as much death, as meat is life. This then is the misery of my sicknesse, That death as it is produced from mee, and is mine owne Creature, is now before mine Eies, but in that forme, in which God hath mollified it to vs, and made it acceptable, in sleepe, I cannot see it: how many prisoners, who haue euen hollowed themselues their graues vpon [Page 371] that Earth, on which they haue lion long vnder heauie fetters, yet at this houre are [...]sleepe, though they bee yet working vpon their owne graues, by their owne waight? hee that hath seene his friend die to day, or knowes hee shall see it to morrow, yet will sinke into a sleepe betweene. I cannot; and oh, if I be entring now into Eternitie, where there shall bee no more distinction of houres, why is it al my businesse [Page 372] now to tell Clocks? why is none of the heauinesse of my heart, dispensed into mine Eie-lids, [...]hat they might fall as my heart doth? And why, since I haue lo [...]t my delight in all obiects, cannot I discontinue t [...]e facultie of seeing them, by closing mine Ei [...]s in sleepe? But why rather being entring into that presence, where I shall wake continually and neuer sleepe more, doe I not interpret my continuall waking here, to [Page 373] bee a p [...]rasceue, and a preparation to that?
15. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, I know, (for thou hast said it) That he that keepeth Israel, Psa. 121.1. shall neither slumber, nor sleepe: But shall not that Israel, ouer whom thou watchest, sleepe? I know, (for thou hast said it) that there are Men, 2 Pet. 2.3. whose damnation sleepeth not; but shall not they to whom thou art Saluation, [Page 374] sleepe? or wilt thou take from them that euidence, and that testimony, that they are thy Israel, or thou their saluation? Thou giuest thy beloued sleepe. Psa. 127 1. Shall I lacke that seale of thy loue? You shall lie downe, Leu. 26.6. and none shall make you afraid; shal I bee outlawd from that protection? Ion. 1.5. Ionas slept in one dangerous storme, and thy blessed Sonne in another. Mat. 8.24. Shall I haue no vse, no benefit, no application of those great Examples? Lord, if hee sleepe, [Page 375] he shall doe well, Io. 11.12. say thy Sonnes Disciples to him, of Lazarus; And shall there bee no roome, for that Argument in me? or shall I bee open to the contrary? If I sleepe not, shall I not bee well, in their sense? Let me not, O my God, take this too precisely, too literally: There is that neither day nor night seeth sleepe with his eies, Eccles. 8.16. saies thy wise seruant Solomon; and whether hee speake that of worldly Men, or of Men that seeke wisdome, [Page 376] whether in iustification or condemnation of their watchfulnesse, we can not tell: wee can t [...]ll, Pro. 4.16. That there are men, that cannot sleepe, till they haue done mischiefe, and [...]hen they can; and wee can tell that the rich man cannot sleepe, Eccles. 5.12. because his abundance will not let him. Mat. 13.25.28.13. The tares were sowen when the husbandmen were asleepe; And the elders thought it a probable excuse, a credible lie, that the wa [...]chmen which kept the Sepulchre, [Page 377] should say, 26.40. that the bodie of thy son was stolne away, when they were asleepe: Since thy blessed Sonne rebuked his Disciples for sleeping, shall I murmure because I doe not sleepe? Iud. 16.3. If Samson had slept any longer in Gaza, he had beene taken; And when he did sleepe longer with Delilah, he was taken. vers. 19. Sleepe is as often taken for naturall death in thy Scriptures, as for naturall rest. Nay sometimes sleepe ha [...]h so heauy a sense, as [Page 378] to bee taken for sinne it selfe, Eph. 5.14. as well as for the punishment of sinne, Death. 1 Thes. 5.6. Much comfort is not in much sleepe, when the most fearefull and most irreuocable Malediction is presen [...]ed by thee, Ier. 51.59. in a perpetuall sleepe. I will make their feasts, and I will make them drunke, and they shall sleepe a perpetuall sleepe, and not wake. I must therefore, O my God, looke farther, than into the very act of sleeping, before I mis-interpret [Page 379] my waking: for since I finde thy whole hand light, shall any finger of that hand seeme heauy? since the whole sicknesse is thy Physicke, shall any accident in it, bee my poison, by my murmuring? The name of Watchmen belongs to our profession; Thy Prophets are not onely seers, indued with a power of seeing, able to see, but Watchmen, euermore in the Act of seeing. And therefore giue me leaue, O my blessed [Page 380] God, to inuert the words of thy Sonnes Spouse; she said, Can. 5.8 I sleepe, but my heart waketh; I say, I wake, but my heart sleepeth; My body is in a sicke wearinesse, but my soule in a peacefull rest with thee; and as our eies, in our health, see not the Aire, that is next them, nor the fire, nor the spheares, nor stop vpon any thing, till they come to starres, so my eies, that are open, see nothing of this world, but passe through all that, and fix [Page 381] themselues vpon thy peace, and ioy, and glory aboue. Almost as soone as thy Apostle had said, Let vs not sleepe, 1 Thes. 5.6. lest we should be too much discomforted, if we did, he saies againe, vers. 10. whether we wake or sleepe, let vs liue together with Christ. Though then this absence of sleepe, may argue the presence of death (the Originall may exclude the Copie, the life, the picture) yet this gentle sleepe, and rest of my soule betroths mee to [Page 382] thee, to whom I shall bee married indissolubly, though by this way of dissolution.
15. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who art able to make, and dost make the sicke bed of thy seruants, Chappels of ease to them, and the dreames of thy seruants, Prayers, and Meditations vpon thee, let not this continuall watch [...]ulnes [Page 383] of mine, this inabilitie to sleepe, which thou hast laid vpon mee, bee any disquiet, or discomfort to me, but rather an argument, that thou wouldest not haue me sleepe in thy presence. What it may indicate or signifie, concerning the state of my body, let them consider to whom that consideration belongs; doe thou, who onely art the Physitian of my soule, tell her, that thou wilt afford her such defensatiues as that shee shall [Page 384] wake euer towards thee, and yet euer sleepe in thee; & that through all this sicknesse, thou wilt either preserue mine vnderstanding, from all decaies and distractions, which these watchings might occasion, or that thou wilt reckon, and account with me, from before those violencies, and not call any peece of my sicknesse, a sinne. It [...]s a heauy, and indelible sinne, that I brought into the world wi [...]h me [...] It is a heauy and innu [...]merable [Page 385] multitude of sins, which I haue heaped vp since; I haue sinned behind thy backe (if that can be done) by wilfull absteining from thy Congregations, and omitting thy seruice, and I haue sinned before thy face, in my hypocrisies in Prayer, in my ostentation, and the mingling a respect of my selfe, in preaching thy Word; I haue sinned in my fasting by repining, when a penurious fortune hath kept mee low; And I haue [Page 386] sinned euen in that fulnesse, when I haue been at thy table, by a negligent examination, by a wilfull preuarication, in receiuing that heauenly food and Physicke. But, as I know, O my gracious God, that for all those sinnes committed since, yet thou wilt consider me, as I was in thy purpose, when thou wrotest my name in the booke of Life, in mine Election: so into what deuiations so [...]uer I stray, and wander, by [Page 387] occasion of this sicknes, O God, returne thou to that Minute, wherein thou wast pleased with me, and consider me in that condition.
16. Et properare meum clamant, è Turre propinqua, Obstreperae Campanae aliorum in funere, funus. From the bels of the church adioyning, I am daily remembred of my buriall in the funeralls of others.
16. MEDITATION.
Magius.WE haue a Conuenient Author, who writ a Discourse of Bells when hee was Prisoner [Page 389] in Turky. How would hee haue enlarged himselfe, if he had beene my fellow Prisoner in this sicke bed, so neere to that steeple, which neuer ceases, no more than the harmony of the spheres, but is more heard. When the Turkes tooke Constantinople, they melted the Bells into Ordnance; I haue heard both Bells and Ordnance, but neuer been so much affected with those, as with these Bells. I haue lien neere a steeple, Antwerp in which [Page 390] there are said to be more than thirty Bels; And neere another, where there is one so bigge, Roan. as that the Clapper is said to weigh more than six hundred pound [...] yet neuer so affected as here. Here the Bells can scarse solemnise the funerall of any person, but that I knew him, or knew that hee was my Neighbour: we dwelt in houses neere to one another before, but now hee is gone into that house, into which I must follow [Page 391] him. There is a way of correcting the Children of great persons, that other Children are corrected in their behalfe, and in their names, and this workes vpon them, who indeed had more des [...]rued it. And when these Bells tell me, that now one, and now another is buried, must not I acknowledge, that they haue the correction due to me, and paid the debt that I owe? There is a story of a Bell in a Monastery, Roccha. which, when [Page 392] any of the house was sicke to death, rung alwaies voluntarily, and they knew the ineuitablenesse of the danger by that. It rung once, when no man was sick; but the next day one of the house, fell from the steeple, and died, and the Bell held the reputation of a Prophet still. If these Bells that warne to a Funerall now, were appropriated to none, may not I, by the houre of the funerall, supply? How many men that stand at an [Page 393] execution, if they would aske, for what dies that Man, should heare their owne faults condemned, and see themselues executed, by Atturney? We scarce heare of any man preferred, but wee thinke of our selues, that wee might very well haue beene that Man; Why might not I haue beene that Man, that is carried to his graue now? Could I [...]it my selfe, to stand, or sit in any Mans place, & not to lie in any mans graue? [Page 394] I may lacke much of the good parts of the meanest, but I l [...]cke nothing of the mortality of the weakest; Th [...]y may haue acquired better abilities than I, but I was borne to as many infirmities as they. To be an incumbent by lying down in a graue, to be a Doctor by teaching Morti [...]ication by Example, by dying, though I may haue seniors, others may be elder than I, yet I haue proceeded apace in a good Vniuersity, and gone a [Page 395] great way in a little time by the furtherance of a vehement feuer; and whomsoeuer these Bells bring to the ground to day, if hee and I had beene compared yesterday, perchance I should haue been thought likelier to come to this preferment, then, than he. God hath kept the power of death in his owne hands, lest any Man should bribe death. If man knew the gaine of death, the ease of death, he would solicite, he would [Page 396] prouoke death to assist him, by any [...]and, which he might vse. But as when men see many of their owne professions preferd, it ministers a hope that that may light vpon them; so when these hourely Bells tell me of so many funerals of men like me, it presents, if not a desire that it may, yet a comfort whensoeuer mine shall come.
16. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, I doe not expostulate with thee, but with them, who dare doe that: Who dare expostulate with thee, when in the voice of thy Church, thou giuest allowance, to this Ceremony of Bells at funeralls. Is it enough to refuse it, because it was in vse amongst the Gentiles? so were funeralls too. Is it because some abuses may haue [Page 398] crept in, amongst Christians? Is that enough, that their ringing hath been said to driue away euill spirits? Truly, that is so farre true, as that the euill spirit is vehemently vexed in their ringing, therefore, because that action brings the Congregation together, and vnites God and his people, to the destruction of that Kingdome, which the euill spirit vsurps. In the first institution of thy Church, in this world, in the foundation of [Page 399] thy Militant Church, amongst the Iewes, thou didst appoint the calling of the assembly in, Num. 10 1. to bee by Trumpet, and when they were in, then thou gauest them the sound of Bells, in the garment of thy Priest [...] In the Triumphant Church, Exo. 18. thou imploiest both too, but in an inuerted Order, we enter into the Triumphant Church by the sound of Bells, (for we enter when we die;) And then we receiue our further edification, or consummation, [Page 400] by the sound of Trumpets, at the Resurrection. The sound of thy Trumpets thou didst impart to secular a [...]d ciuill vses too, but the sound of Bells onely to sacred; Lord let not vs breake the Communion of Saints, in that which was intended for the aduancement of it; let not that pull vs asunder frō one another, which was intended for the assembling of vs, in the Militant, and associating of vs to the Triumphant [Page 401] Church. But he for whose funerall these Bells ring now, was at home, at his iournies end, yesterday; why ring they now? A Man, that is a world, is all the things in the world; Hee is an Army, and when an Army marches, the Vaunt may lodge to night, where the Reare comes not till to morrow. A man extends to his Act and to his example; to that which he does, and that which he teaches; so doe those things that concerne [Page 402] him, so doe these bells; That which rung yesterday, was to conuay him out of the world, in his vaunt, in his soule [...] that which rung to day, was to bring him in his Reare, in his body, to the Church; And this continuing of ringing after his entring, is to bring him to mee in the application. Where I lie, I could heare the Psalme, and did ioine with the Congregation in it; but I could not heare the Sermon, and these latter [Page 403] bells are a repetition Sermon to mee. But, O my God, my God, doe I, that haue this feauer, need other remembrances of my Mortalitie? Is not mine owne hollow voice, voice enough to pronounce that to me? Need I looke vpon a Deaths-head in a Ring, that haue one in my face? or goe for death to my Neighbours house, that haue him in my bosome? We cannot, wee cannot, O my God, take in too many helps for religious [Page 404] duties; I know I cannot haue any better Image of thee, than thy Sonne, nor any better Image of him, than his Gospell: yet must not I, with thanks confesse to thee, that some historicall pictures of his, haue sometimes put mee vpon better Meditations than otherwise I should haue fallen vpon? I know thy Church needed not to haue taken in from Iew or Gentile, any supplies for the exaltation of thy glory, or our deuotion; of absolute necessitie [Page 405] I know [...]hee needed not; But yet wee owe thee our thanks, that thou hast giuen her leaue to doe so, and that as in making vs Christians, thou diddest not destroy that which wee were before, naturall men, so in the exalting of our religious deuotions no [...] we are Christians, thou hast beene pleased to continue to vs those assistances which did worke vpon the affections of naturall men before: for thou louest a good man, [Page 406] as thou louest a good Christian: and though Grace bee meerely from thee, yet thou doest not plant Grace but in good natures.
16. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who hauing consecrated our liuing bodies, to thine owne Spirit, and made vs Temples of the holy Ghost, doest also requir [...] a respect to bee giuen to [Page 407] these Temples, euen when the Priest is gone out of them, To these bodies, when the soule is departed from them; I blesse, and glorifie thy Name, that as thou takest care in our life, of euery haire of our head, so doest thou also of euery graine of ashes after our death. Neither doest thou only doe good to vs all, in life and death, but also wouldest haue vs doe good to one another, as in a holy life, so in those things which accompanie [Page 408] our death: In that Contemplation I make account that I heare this dead brother of ours, who is now carried out to his buriall, to speake to mee, and to preach my funerall Sermon, in the voice of these Bells. In him, O God, thou hast accomplished to mee, euen the request of Diues to Abraham; Thou hast sent one from the dead to speake vnto mee. He speakes to mee aloud from that steeple; hee whispers to mee at these [Page 409] Curtaines, and hee speaks thy words; Apoc. 14 13. Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord, from henceforth. Let this praier therfore, O my God, be as my last gaspe, my expiring, my dying in thee; That if this bee the houre of my transmigration, I may die the death of a sinner, drowned in my sinnes, in the bloud of thy Sonne; And if I liue longer, yet I may now die the death of the righteous, die to sinne; which death is a resurrection to a new life. Thou [Page 410] killest and thou giuest life: which soeuer comes, it comes from thee; which way soeuer it comes, let mee come to thee.
17. Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, Morieris. Now, this Bell tolling softly for another, saies to me, Thou must die.
17. MEDITATION.
PErchance hee for whom this Bell tolls, may bee so ill, as that he knowes not it tolls for [Page 411] him; And perchance I may thinke my selfe so much better than I am, as that they who are about mee, and see my state, may haue caused it to toll for mee, and I know not that. The Church is Catholike, vniuersall, so are all her Actions, All that she does, belongs to all. When she baptizes a child, that action concernes mee; for that child is thereby connected to that Head which is my Head too, and engraffe [...] into that [Page 412] body, whereof I am a member. And when she buries a Man, that action concernes me; All mankinde is of one Author; and is one volume; when one Man dies, one Chapter is not torne out of the booke, but translated into a better language; and euery Chapter must be so translated; God emploies seuerall translators; some peeces are translated by Age, some by sicknesse, some by warre, some by iustice; but Gods hand is in euery translation; and [Page 413] his hand shall binde vp all our scattered leaues againe, for that Librarie where euery booke shall lie open to one another: As therefore the Bell that rings to a Sermon, calls not vpon the Preacher onely, but vpon the Congregation to come; so this Bell calls vs all: but how much more mee, who am brought so neere the doore by this sicknesse. There was a contention as farre as a suite, (in which both pietie and dignitie, religion, [Page 414] and estimation, were mingl [...]d) which of the religious Orders should ring to praiers first in the Morning; and it was determined, that they should ring first that rose earliest. If we vnderstand aright the dignitie of this Bell, that rolls for our euening prayer, wee would bee glad to make it ours, by rising early, in that application, that it might bee ours, as wel as his, whose indeed it is. The Bell doth toll for him that thinkes it doth; and [Page 415] though it intermit againe, yet from that minute, that that occasion wrought vpon him, hee is vnited to God. Who casts not vp his Eie to the Sunne when it rises? but who takes off his Eie from a Com [...]t, when that breakes out? who bends not his eare to any bell, which vpon any occasion rings? but who can remoue it from that bell, which is passing a peece of himselfe out of this world? No Man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; [Page 416] euery man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the l [...]sse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends, or of thine owne were; Any Mans death diminishes me, because I am inuolued in Mankinde; And therefore neuer send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a begging of Miserie or a borrowing of Miserie, as though we [Page 417] were not miserable enough of our selues, but must fe [...]ch in more from the next house, in taking vpon vs the Miserie of our Neighbours. Truly it were an excusable couetousnesse if wee did; for affliction is a treasure, and [...]carce any Man hath enough of it. No Man hath affliction enough, that is not matured, and ripened by it, and mad [...] [...]it for God by that affliction. If a Man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and haue [Page 418] none coined into currant Monies, his treasure will not defray him as he trauells. Tribulation is Treasure in the nature of it, but it is not currant money in the vse of it, except wee get nearer and nearer our home, heauen, by it. Another Man may be sicke too, and sicke to death, and this af [...]liction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a Mine, and be of no vse to him [...] but this bell that tels mee of his af [...]liction, digs out, and applies that gold to mee [...] [Page 419] if by this consideration of anothers danger, I take min [...] owne into Contemplation, and so secure my selfe, by making my recourse to my God, who is our onely securitie.
17. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, Is this one of thy waies, of drawing light out of darknesse, To make him for whom this bell tolls, now in this dimnesse [Page 420] of his sight, to become a superintendent, an ouerseer, a Bishop, to as many as heare his voice, in this bell, and to giue vs a confirmation in this action? Is this one of thy waies to raise strength out of weaknesse, to make him who cannot rise from his bed, nor stirre in his bed, come home to me, and in this sound, giue mee the strength of healthy and vigorous instructions? O my God, my God, what Thunder is not a well-tuned Cymball, [Page 421] what hoarsenesse, what harshnesse is not a cleare Organ, if thou bee pleased to set thy voice to it? and what Organ is not well plaied on, if thy hand bee vpon it? Thy voice, thy hand is in this sound, and in this one sound, I heare this whole Consort. I heare thy Iaacob call vnto his sonnes, and [...]ay; Gen. 49.1. Gather your selues together, that I may tell you what shall befall you in the last daies: He saies, That which I am now, you must bee then. I [Page 422] heare thy Moses telling mee, and all within the compasse of this sound, This is the blessing wherewith I blesse you before my death; Deut. 33 1. This, that before your death, you would consider your owne in mine. I heare thy Prophet saying to Ezechias, Set thy house in order, for thou shalt die, and not liue; 2 Reg. 20.1. Hee makes vs of his familie, and calls this a setting of his house in order, to compose vs to the meditation of death. I heare thy Apostle saying, [Page 423] I thinke it meet to put [...]ou in remembrance, 2 Pet. 2.13. knowing that shortly I must goe out of this Tabernacle. This is the publishing of his will, & this bell is our legacie, the applying of his present condition to our vse. I heare that which makes al sounds musique, and all musique perfit; I heare thy Sonne himselfe [...]aying, Ioh. 14.1. Let not your hearts be troubled [...] Only I heare this change, that whereas thy Sonne saies there, I goe to prepare a place for you, this man in thi [...] [Page 424] sound saies, I send to prepare you for a place, for a graue. But, O my God, my God, since heauen is glory and ioy, why doe not glorious and ioyfull things leade vs, induce vs to heauen? Thy legacies in thy first will, in thy old Testament were plentie and victorie; Wine and Oile, Milke and Honie, alliances of friends, ruine of enemies, peacefull hearts, & cheerefull countenances, and by these galleries thou broughtest them into thy bed-chamber, [Page 425] by these glories and ioies, to the ioies and glories of heauen. Why hast thou changed thine old way, and carried vs, by the waies of discipline and mortification, by the waies of mourning and lamentation, by the waies of miserable ends, and miserable anticipations of those miseries, in appropriating the exemplar miseries of others to our selues, and vsurping vpon their miseries, as our owne, to our owne preiudice? Is the glory of [Page 426] heauen no perfecter in it selfe, but that it needs a foile of depression and ingloriousnesse in this world, to set it off? Is the ioy of heauen no perfecter in it selfe, but that it needs the sourenesse of this life to giue it a taste? Is that ioy and that glory but a comparatiue glory and a comparatiue ioy? not such in it selfe, but such in comparison of the ioilesnesse and the ingloriousnesse of this world? I know, my God, it is farre, farre otherwise. As thou [Page 427] thy selfe, who art all, art made of no substances, so the ioyes & glory which are with thee, are made of none of these circumstances; Essentiall ioy, and glory Essentiall. But why then, my God, wilt thou not beginne them here? pardon O God, this vnthankfull rashnesse; I that aske why thou doest not, finde euen now in my selfe, that thou doest; such ioy, such glory, as that I conclude vpon my selfe, vpon all, They that finde not ioy [Page 428] in their sorrowes, glory in their deiections in this world, are in a fearefull danger of missing both in the next.
17. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who hast beene pleased to speake to vs, not onely in the voice of Nature, who speakes in our hearts, and of thy word, which speakes to our eares, but in the speech [Page 429] of speechlesse Creatures, in Balaams Asse, in the speech of vnbeleeuing men, in the confession of Pilate, in the speech of the Deuill himselfe, in the recognition and attestation of thy Sonne, I humbly accept thy voice, in the sound of this sad and funerall bell. And first, I blessethy glorious name, that in this sound and voice, I can heare thy instructions, in another mans to consider mine owne condition; and to know, that this bell [Page 430] which tolls for another, before it come to ring out, may take in me too. As death is the wages of sinne, it is due to me [...]; As death is the end of sicknesse, it belongs to mee; And though so disobedient a seruant as I, may be afraid to die, yet to so mercifull a Master as thou, I cannot be afraid to come; And therefore, into thy hands, O my God, I commend my spirit; A surrender, which I know thou wilt accept, whether I liue or die; for [Page 431] thy seruant Dauid made it, Psal. 31.5. when he put himselfe into thy protection for his life; and thy blessed Sonne made it, when hee deliuered vp his soule at his death; declare thou thy will vpon mee, O Lord, for life or death, in thy time; receiue my surrender of my selfe now, Into thy hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit. And being thus, O my God, prepared by thy correction, mellowed by thy chastisement, and conformed to thy [Page 432] will, by thy Spirit, hauing receiued thy pardon for my soule, and asking no reprieue for my body, I am bold, O Lord, to bend my prayers to thee, for his assistance, the voice of whose bell hath called mee to this deuotion. Lay hold vpon his soule, O God, till that soule haue throughly considered his account, and how few minutes soeuer it haue to remaine in that body, let the power of thy Spirit recompence the shortnesse of [Page 433] time, and perfect his account, before he passe away: present his sinnes so to him, as that he may know what thou forgiuest, & not doubt of thy forgiuenesse; let him stop vpon the infinitenesse of those sinnes, but dwell vpon the infinitenesse of thy Mercy: let him discerne his owne demerits, but wrap himselfe vp in the merits of thy Sonne, Christ Iesus: Breath inward comforts to his heart, and affoord him the power of giuing [Page 434] such outward testimonies thereof, as all that are about him may deriue comforts from thence, and haue this edification, euen in this dissolution, that though the body be going the way o [...] all flesh, yet that soule is going the way of all Saints. When thy Sonne cried out vpon the Crosse, My God, my God, Why hast thou forsaken me? he spake not so much in his owne Person, as in the person of the Church, and of his afflicted members, who [Page 435] in deep distresses might feare thy forsaking. This patient, O most blessed God, is one of them; In his behalfe, and in his name, heare thy Sonne crying to thee, My God, my God, Why hast thou forsaken me? and forsake him not; but with thy left hand lay his body in the graue, (if that bee [...]hy determination vpon him) and with thy right hand receiue his soule into thy Kingdome, and vnite him & vs in one Cō munion of Saints. Amen.
18. —At inde Mortuus es, Sonitu celeri, pulsuque agitato. The bell rings out, and tells me in him, that I am dead.
18. MEDITATION.
THe Bell rings out; the pulse thereof is changed; the tolling was a faint, and intermitting pulse, vpon one side; this stronger, and argues more and better life. Hi [...] [Page 437] soule is gone out; and as a Man who had a lease of 1000. yeeres after the expiration of a short one, or an inheritance after the life of a Man in a Consumption, he is now entred into the possession of his better estate. His soule is gone; whither? Who saw it come in, or who saw it goe out? No body; yet euery body is sure, he had one, and hath none. If I will aske meere Philosophers, what the soule is, I shall finde amongst them, that will [Page 438] tell me, it is nothing, but the temperament and harmony, and iust and equall composition of the Elements in the body, which produces all those faculties which we ascribe to the soule; and so, in it selfe is nothing, no seperable substance, that ouerliues the body. They see the soule is nothing else in other Creatures, and they affect an impious humilitie, to think as low of Man. But if my soule were no more than the soule of a beast, [Page 439] I could not thinke so; that soule that can reflect vpon it selfe, consider it selfe, is more than so. If I will aske, not meere Philosophers, but mixt Men, Philosophicall Diuines, how the soule, being a separate substance, enters into Man, I shall finde some that will tell me, that it is by generation, & procreation from parents, because they thinke it hard, to charge th [...] soule with the guiltinesse of Originall sinne, if the soule were infused [Page 440] into a body, in which it must necessarily grow foule, and contract originall sinne, whether it will or no; and I shall finde some that will tell mee, that it is by immediate infusion from God, because they think it hard, to maintaine an immortality in such a soule, as should be begotten, and deriued with the body frō Mortall parents. If I will aske, not a few men, but almost whole bodies, whole Churches, what becomes of the soules of the righteous, [Page 441] at the departing thereof from the body, I shall bee told by some, That they attend an expiation, a purification in a place of torment; By some, that they attend the fruition of the sight of God, in a place of rest; but yet, but of expectation; By some, that they passe to an immediate possession of the presence of God. S. Augustine studied the Nature of the soule, as much as any thing, but the saluation of the soule; and he sent an expresse Messenger [Page 442] to Saint Hierome, to consult of some things concerning the soule: But he satisfies himselfe with this: Let the departure of my soule to saluation be euident to my faith, and I care the lesse, how darke the entrance of my soule, into my body, bee to my reason. It is the going out, more than the comming in, that concernes vs. This soule, this Bell tells me is gone out; Whither? Who shall tell mee that? I know not who it is; much lesse what he [Page 443] was; The condition of the Man, and the course of his life, which should tell mee whither hee is gone, I know not. I was not there, in his sicknesse, nor at his death; I saw not his way, nor his end, nor can a [...]ke them [...] who did, thereby to conclude, or argue, whither he is gone. But yet I haue one neerer mee than all these; mine owne Charity; I aske that; & that tels me, He is gone to euerlasting rest, and ioy, and glory: I owe [Page 444] him a good opinion; it is but thankfull charity in mee, because I receiued benefit and instruction from him when his Bell told: and I, being made the fitter to pray, by that disposition, wherein I was assisted by his occasion, did pray for him; and I pray not without faith; so I doe charitably, so I do faithfully beleeue, that that soule is gone to euerlasting rest, and ioy, and glory. But for the body, How poore a wretched thing is that? wee [Page 445] cannot expresse it so fast, as it growes worse and worse. That body which scarce three minutes since was such a house, as that that soule, which made but one step from thence to Heauen, was scarse thorowly content, to leaue that for Heauen: that body hath lost the name of a dwelling house, because none dwels in it, and is making haste to lose the name of a body, and dissolue to putrefaction. Who would not bee affected [Page 446] to see a cleere & sweet Riuer in the Morning, grow a kennell of muddy land water by noone, and condemned to the saltnesse of the Sea by night? And how lame a Picture, how faint a representation, is that, of the precipitatiō of mans body to dissolution? Now all the parts built vp, and knit by a louely soule, now but a statue of clay, and now, these limbs melted off, as if that clay were but snow [...] and now, the whole house is but a [Page 447] handfull of sand, so much dust, and but a pecke of Rubbidge, so much bone. If he, who, as this Bell tells mee, is gone now, were some excellent Arti [...]icer, who comes to him for a clocke, or for a garment now? or for counsaile, if hee were a Lawyer? If a Magistrate, for iustice? Man before hee hath his immortall soule, hath a soule of sense, and a soule of vegitation before that: This immortall soule did not forbid other soules, to be in [Page 448] vs before, but when this soule departs, it carries all with it; no more vegetation, no more sense: such a Mother in law is the Earth [...] in respect of our naturall Mother; in her wombe we grew; and when she was deliuered of vs, wee were planted in some place, in some calling in the world; In the wombe of the Earth, wee diminish, and when shee is deliuered of vs, our graue opened for another, wee are not transplanted, but transported, [Page 449] our dust blowne away with prophane dust, with euery wind.
18. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, if Expostulation bee too bold a word, doe thou mollifie it with another; le [...] it be wonder in my selfe; let it bee but probleme to others; but let me aske, why wouldest thou not suffer those, that serue thee in holy seruices, Leuit. 21 1. to doe any [Page 450] office about the dead, nor assist at their funerall? Thou hadst no Counsellor, thou needest none; thou hast no Controller, thou admittest none Why doe I aske? in Ceremoniall things (as that was) any conuenient reason is enough; who can bee sure to propose that reason, that moued thee in the institution thereof? I satisfie my selfe with this; that in those times, the Gentiles were ouerfull, of an ouer-reuerent respect to the memory [Page 451] of the dead: a great part of the Idolatry of the Nations, flowed from that; an ouer-amorous deuotion, an ouer-zealous celebrating, and ouer-studious preseruing of the memories, and the Pictures of some dead persons: Sap. 14.14. And by the vaine glory of men, they entred into the world; and their statues, and pictures contracted an opinion of diuinity, by age: that which was at first, but a picture of a friend, grew a God in time, as the wise [Page 452] man notes, Sap. 13.9. They called them Gods, which were the worke of an ancient hand. And some haue assigned a certaine time, when a picture should come out of Minority, and bee at age, to bee a God, in 60. yeeres after it is made. Those Images of Men, that had life, and some Idols of other things, which neuer had any being, are by one common name, called promiscuously, dead, and for that the wise man reprehends the Idolatrer; [Page 453] for health he praies to that which is weake, Sap. 13.18. and for life he praies to that which is dead. Should we doe so, saies thy Prophet; Esay 8.14. should we goe from the liuing to the dead? So much ill then, being occasioned, by so much religious cō plement exhibited to the dead; thou ô God, (I think) wouldest therefore inhibit thy principall holy seruants, from contributing any thing at all to this dangerous intimation of Idolatry; and that the people might say, surely [Page 454] those dead men, are not so much to bee magnified, as men mistake, since God will not suffer his holy officers, so much as to touch them, not to see them. But those dangers being remoued, thou, O my God, dost certainly allow, that we should doe offices of piety to the dead, and that we should draw instructions to piety, from the dead. Is not this, O my God, a holy kinde of raising vp [...]eed to my dead brother, if I, [Page 455] by the meditation of his death, produce a better life in my selfe? It is the blessing vpon Reuben, 1 Let Reuben liue, Deu. 33.6. & not die, and let not his men be few; let him propagate many. And it is a Malediction, That that dieth, let it die; Zechar. 11.9. let it doe no good in dying: for Trees without fruit, Iud. 12. thou by thy Apostle callst, twice dead. It is a second death, if none liue the better, by me, after my death, by the manner of my death. Therefore may I iustly thinke, that [Page 456] thou madest that a way to conuay to the Aegyptians, a feare of thee, and a feare of death, Exo. 12.30. that there was not a house, where there was not one dead; for therupon the Aegyptians said, we are all dea [...] men; the death of others, should catechise vs [...] to death. Apo. 1.5. Thy Sonne Christ Iesus is the first begotten of the dead; he rises first, the eldest brother, and he is my Master in this science of death: but yet, for mee, I am a younger brother too, to this Man, [Page 457] who died now, and to euery man whom I see, or heare to die before mee, and all they are vshers to mee in this schoole of death. I take therefore that which thy seruant Dauids wife said to him, to bee said to me; 1 Sam. 19.11. If thou saue not thy life to night, to morrow thou shalt bee slaine. If the death of this man worke not vpon mee now, I shall die worse, than if thou hadst not afforded me this helpe: for thou hast sent him in [Page 458] this bell to mee, as tho [...] didst send to the Angel [...] of Sardis, Apoc. 3.2 [...] with commission to strengthen the things that remaine, and that are ready to die; that in this weaknes of body, I migh [...] receiue spiritual streng [...]h, by these occasions. This is my strength, that whether thou say to mee, as thine Angell said to Gedeon; Iud. 6.23 Peace bee vnto thee, feare not, thou shalt not die, or whether thou say, as vnto Aaron, Thou shalt die there; Num. 20.26. yet thou wil [...] preserue that which is [Page 459] ready to die, my soule, from the worst death, that of sinne. 1 Reg. 16 18. Zimrie died for his sinnes, saies thy Spirit, which he sinned in doing euill; and in his sinne, which he did to make Israel sinne. For his sinnes, his many sinnes; and then in his sinne, his particular sinne: for my sinnes I shall die, whensoeuer I die, for death is the wages of sinne; but I shall die in my sinne, in that particular sinne of resisting thy spirit, if I apply not thy assistances. [Page 460] Doth it not call vs to a particular consideration, That thy blessed Sonne varies his forme of Commination, and aggrauates it in the variation, when hee saies to the Iewes, (because they refused the light offered) you shall die in your sinne; Ioh. 8.21 And then when they proceeded to farther disputations, and vexations, and tentations, hee addes, Vers. 24. you shall die in your sinnes; he multiplies the former expressing, [...]o a plurall. In this sinne [...] [Page 461] and in all your sinnes; doth not the resisting of thy particular helps at last, draw vpon vs the guiltinesse of all our former sinnes? May not the neglecting of this sound ministred to mee in this mans death, bring mee to that miserie, as that I, whom the Lord of life loued so, as to die for me, shall die, and a Creature of mine owne shall be immortall [...] that I shall die, Esay 66.14. and the worme of mine owne conscience shall neuer die?
18. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, I haue a new occasion of thanks, and a new occasion of prayer to thee, from the ringing of this bell. Thou toldst me in the other voice, that I was mortall, and approaching to death; In this I may heare thee say, that I am dead, in an irremediable, in an irrecouerable state for bodily health. If that bee thy language in this voice, [Page 463] how infinitely am I bound to thy heauenly Maiestie, for speaking so plainly vnto mee? for euen that voice, that I must die now, is not the voice of a Iudge, that speaks by way of condemnation, but of a Physitian, that presents health in that: Thou presentest mee death as the cure of my disease, not as the exaltation of it; if I mistake thy voice herein, if I ouer-runne thy pace, and preuent thy hand, and imagine death more [Page 464] instant vpon mee than thou hast bid him bee, yet the voice belongs to me; I am dead, I was borne dead, and from the first laying of these mud-walls in my conception, they haue moldred away, and the whole course of life is but an actiue death. Whether this voice instruct mee, that I am a dead man now, or remember me, that I haue been a dead man all this while, I humbly thanke thee for speaking in this voice to my soule, and I hum [...]ly [Page 465] beseech thee also, to [...]ccept my prayers in his behalfe, by whose occasion this voice, this sound is come to mee. [...]or though hee bee by death transplanted to thee, and so in possession of inexpressible happinesse there, yet here vpon earth thou hast giuen vs such a portion of heauen, as that though men dispute, whether thy Saints in heauen doe know what we in earth in particular doe stand in need of, yet [Page 466] without all disputation, wee vpon earth doe know what thy Saints in heauen lacke yet, for the consummation of their happinesse; and therefore thou hast affoorded vs the dignitie, that wee may pray for them. That therefore this soule now newly departed to thy Kingdome, may quickly returne to a io [...] full reunion to that body which it hath left, and that wee with it, may soone enioy the full consummation of all, in body [Page 467] and soule, I humbly beg at thy hand, O our most mercifull God, for thy Sonne Christ Iesus sake. That that blessed Sonne of thine, may haue the comsummation of his dignitie, by entring into his last office, the office of a Iudge, and may haue societie of humane bodies in heauen, as well as hee hath had euer of soules [...] And that as thou hatest sinne it selfe, thy hate to sinne may bee expressed in the abolishing of all instruments of sinne, [Page 468] The allurements of this world, and the world it selfe; and all the temporarie r [...]uenges of sinne, the stings of sicknesse and of death; and all the castles, and prisons, and monuments of sinne, in the graue. That time may bee swallowed vp in Eternitie, and hope swallowed in possession, and ends swallowed in infinitenesse, and all men ordained to saluation, in body and soule, b [...] one intire and euerlasting sacrifice to thee, where thou [Page 469] mayest receiue delight from them, and they glorie from thee, for euermore. Amen.
19. Oceano tandem emenso, aspicienda resurgit Terra; vident, iustis, medici, iam cocta mederi se posse, indicijs. At last, the Physitians, after a long and stormie voyage, see land; They haue so good signes of the con [...]oction of the [Page 470] disease, as that they may safely proceed to purge.
19. MEDITATION.
ALl this while the Physitians themselues haue beene patients, patiently attending when they should see any land in this Sea, any earth, any cloud, any indication of concoction in these waters. Any disorder of mine, any pretermission of theirs, exalts [Page 471] the d [...]sease, accelerates the rages of it; no diligence accelerates the concoction, the maturitie of the disease; they must stay till the season of the sicknesse come, and till it be ripened of it selfe, and then they may put to their hand, to gather it, before it fall off, but they cannot hasten the ripening. Why should wee looke for it in a disease, which is the disorder, the discord, the irregularitie, the commotion, and rebellion of the body? It were [Page 472] scarce a disease, if it could bee ordered, and made obedient to our times. Why should wee looke for that in disorder, in a disease, when we cannot haue it in Nature, who is so regular, and so pregnant, so forward to bring her worke to perfection, and to light? yet we cannot awake the Iuly-flowers in Ianuarie, nor retard the flowers of the spring to Autumne. We cannot bid the fruits come in May, nor the leaues to sticke on in December. [Page 473] A woman that is weake, cannot put off her ninth moneth to a tenth, for her deliuerie, and say shee will stay till shee bee stronger; nor a Queene cannot hasten it to a seuenth, that shee may bee ready for some other pleasure. Nature (if w [...] looke for durable and vigorous effects) will not admit preuentions, nor anticipations, nor obligations vpon her; for they are precontracts, and she will bee left to her libertie. Nature would not [Page 474] be spurred, nor forced to mend her pace; nor power, the power of man; greatnesse lou [...]s not that kinde of violence neither [...] There are of them that will giue [...] that will doe iustice, that will pardon, but they haue their owne seasons for al these, and h [...] that knowes not them, shall starue before that gift come, and ruine, before the Iustice, and dye before the pardon saue him: some tree beares no fruit, except much dung be laid about [Page 475] it, and Iustice comes not from some, till they bee richly manured: some trees require much visiting, much watring, much labour; and some men giue not their fruits but vpon importunitie; some trees require incision, and pruning, and lopping; some men must bee intimidated and syndicated with Commissions, before they will deliuer the fruits of Iustice; some trees require the early and the often accesse of the Sunne; some men [Page 476] open not, but vpon the fauours and letters of Court mediation; some trees must bee [...]ousd and kept within doores; some men locke vp, not onley their liber [...]litie, but their Iustice, and their compassion, till the sollicitation of a wife, or a sonne, or a friend, or a seruant turne the key. Reward is the season of one man, and importunitie of another; feare the season of one man, and fauour of another; friendship the season of one man, [Page 477] [...]nd naturall affection of [...]nother; and hee that knowes not their seasons, nor cannot stay [...]hem, must lose the [...]ruits; As Nature will not, so power and greatnesse will not bee put to change their seasons; and shall wee looke for this Indulgence in a disease, or thinke to shake it off before it bee ripe? All this while therefore, we are but vpon a defen [...]iue warre, and that is but a doubtfull state: Especially where they who are [Page 478] besieged doe know the best of their defences, and doe not know the worst of their enemies power; when they cannot mend their works within, and the enemie can increase his numbers without [...] O how many farre more miserable, and farre more wor [...]hy to be lesse miserable than I, are besieged with this sicknesse, and lacke their Sentinels, their Physitians to watch, and lacke their munition, their cordials to d [...]f [...]nd, and perish before [...]e [Page 479] [...]nemies weaknesse might inuite them to sally, before the disease shew any declination, or admit any way of working vpon it selfe? In me the siege is [...]o farre slackned, as that we may come to fight, and so die in the field, if I die, and not in a prison.
19. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, Thou a [...]t a direct God, may I not say, a literall God, a God that [Page 480] wouldest bee vnderstood literally, and according to the plaine sense of all that thou saiest? But thou art also ( Lord I intend it to thy glory, and let no prophane misinterpreter abuse it to thy diminution) thou art a figuratiue, a metaphoricall God too: A God in whose words there is such a height of figures, such voyages, such peregrinations to [...]e [...]ch remo [...]e and precious metaphors, such extentions, such spreadings, such [Page 481] Curtaines of Allegories, such third Heauens of Hyperboles, so harmonious eloquutions, so retired and so reserued expressions, so commanding perswasions, so perswading commandements, such sinewes euen in thy milke, and such things in thy words, as all prophane Authors, seeme of the seed of the Serpent, that creepes, thou art the doue, that flies. O, what words but thine, can expresse the inexpressible texture, and composition of thy word; in which, to one [Page 482] Man, that argument that binds his faith to beleeue that to bee the Word of God, is the reuerent simplicity of the Word, and to another, the maiesty of the Word; and in which two men, equally pious, may meet, and one wonder, that all should not vnderstand it, and the other, as much, that any man should. So, Lord, thou giuest vs the same Earth, to labour on, and to lie in; a house, and a graue, of the same earth; so Lord, thou giuest vs [Page 483] the same Word for our satisfaction, and for our Inquisition, for our instruction, and for our Admiration too; for there are places, that thy seruants Hierom and Augustine would scarce beleeue (when they grew warm by mutual letters) of one another, that they vnderstood them, and yet both Hierome and Augustine call vpon persons, whom they knew to bee farre weaker, than they thought one another ( old women & young maids) to read thy Scriptures, [Page 484] without con [...]ining them, to these or those places. Neither art thou thus a figuratiue, a Metaphoricall God, in thy word only, but in thy workes too. The stile of thy works, the phrase of thine Actions, is Metaphoricall [...] The institution of thy whole worship in the old Law, was a cōtinuall Allegory; types & figures ouerspread all; and figure [...] flowed into figures, and powred themselues ou [...] into farther [...]igures; Circumcision carried a fig [...] of Baptisme, & Baptis [...] [Page 485] carries a figure of that purity, which we shall haue in perfection in the new Ierusalem. Neither didst thou speake, and worke in this language, onely in the time of thy Prophets; but since thou spokest in thy Son, it is so too. How often, how much more often doth thy Sonne call himsel [...]e a way, and a light, and a gate, and a Vine, and bread, than the Sonne of God, or of Man? How much oftner doth he exhibit a Metaphoricall Christ, than a reall, a literall? [Page 486] This hath occasioned thine ancient seruants, whose delight it was to write after thy Copie, to proceede the same way in their expositions of the Scriptures, and in their composing both of publike liturgies, and of priuate prayers to thee, to make their accesses to thee in such a kind of language, as thou wast pleased to speake to them, in a figuratiue, in a Metaphoricall language; in which manner I am bold to call the comfort which I receiue [Page 487] now in this sicknesse, in [...]he indication of the concoction and maturity therof, in certaine clouds, and residēces, which the Physitians obserue, a discouering of land frō Sea, after a long, and tempestuous voyage. But wherefore, O my God, hast thou presented to vs, the afflictiōs and calamities of this life, in the name of waters? so often in the name of waters, and deepe waters, and Seas of waters? must we looke to bee drowned? are they bottomlesse, are [Page 488] they boundles? Thats not the dialect of thy langauge; thou hast giuen a Remedy against the deepest water, by water; against the inundation of sinne, by Baptisme; and the first life, that thou gauest to any Creatures, was in waters, therefore [...]hou do [...]t not [...]hr [...]ten v [...], wi [...]h an irrem [...]diablenesse, when our affliction is a Sea. It is so, if we consider our selues; so thou callest Gennezareth, which was but a lake, and not salt, a Sea; [Page 489] so thou callest the Mediterranean Sea, still the great Sea; because the inhabitants saw no other Sea; they that dwelt there, thought a Lake, a Sea, and the others thought a little Sea, the greatest, and wee that know not the afflictions of others, call our owne the heauiest. But, O my God, that is truly great, that ouerflowes the chan [...]ell; that is really a great affliction, which is aboue my strength, but, thou, O God, art [Page 490] my strength, and then what can bee aboue it? Psal. 46.3. Mountaines shake with the swelling of thy Sea, secular, Mountaines, men strong in power, spirituall mountaines, men strong in grace, are shaked with afflictions; Psa. 33.7 but thou laiest vp thy sea in store-houses; euen thy corrections are of thy treasure, and thou wilt not waste thy corrections; when they haue done their seruice, to humble thy patient, thou wilt call them in againe; for, Psa. 8.29 thou giuest the Sea [Page 491] thy decree, that the waters should not passe thy Commandement. All our waters shal run into Iordan, Ios. 3.17 & thy seruants passed Iordan dry foot; they shall run into the red Sea (the Sea of thy Sons bloud) & the red Sea, that red Sea, drownes none of thine. But, Ecelus. 43.24. they that saile in the Sea, tell of the danger thereof; I that am yet in this affliction, owe thee the glory of speaking of it; But, as the wise man bids me, vers. 27. I say, I may speak much, and come short; [Page 492] wherefore in summe, thou art all. Since thou art so, O my God, and affliction is a Sea, too deepe for vs, what is our refuge? thine Arke, thy ship. In all other Seas, in all other afflictions, those meanes which thou hast ordained; In this Sea, in Sicknesse, thy Ship is thy Physitian. Sap. 14.3. Thou hast made a way in the Sea, and a safe path in the waters, shewing that thou canst saue from all dangers; yea, though a man went to Sea without art; yet where I finde all [Page 493] that, I finde this added, Neuerthelesse thou woul [...]est not, that the worke of thy wisdome should be idle. Thou canst saue without meanes; but thou hast told no man that thou wilt: Thou hast told euery man, that thou wilt not. When the Centurion beleeued the Master of the ship more than Saint Paul, Act. 17.11. they were all opened to a great danger; this was a preferring of thy meanes, before thee, the Author of the meanes; but, my [Page 494] God, though thou beest euery where, I haue no promise of appearing to me, but in thy ship: Thy blessed Sonne preached out of a Ship: Luc. 5.3. The meanes is preaching, he did that; and the Ship was a type of the Church; hee did it there [...] Thou gauest S. Paul the liues of all them, Act. 27.24. that saild with him; If they had not beene in the Ship with him, the gift had not extended to them. Mar. 5.2. As soone as thy Son was come out of the ship, immediatly there met him [Page 495] out of the tombes, a man with an vncleane spirit, and no man could hold him, no not with chaines. Thy Sonne needed no vse of meanes; yet there wee apprehend the danger to vs; if we leaue the ship, the meanes; in this case, the Physitian. But as they are Ships to vs in those Seas, so is there a Ship to them too, in which they are to stay. Giue mee leaue, O my God, to assist my selfe with such a construction of these words of thy [Page 496] seruant Paul, to the Centurion, when the Mariners would haue left the Ship, Act. 27.31. Except these abide in the Ship, you cannot bee safe; Except they who are our ships, the Physitians, abide in that which is theirs, and our ship, the truth, and the sincere and religious worship of thee, and thy Gospell, we cannot promise our selues, so good safety; for though we haue our ship, the Physitian, he hath not his ship, Religion; And meanes are [Page 497] not meanes, but in their concatenation, as they depend, and are chained together. Iac. 3.4. The ships are great, saies thy Apostle, but a helme turnes them; the men are learned, but their religion turnes their labours to good: And therefore it was a heauy [...]se, when the third part o [...] the ships perished: Apo. 8.9. It is a heauy case, where either all Religion, or true Religion should forsake many of these ships, whom thou hast sent to conuey vs ouer these [Page 498] Seas. But, O my God, my God, since I haue my ship, and they theirs, I haue them, and they haue thee, why are we yet no neerer land? As soone as thy Sonnes Disciple had taken him into the ship, immediatly the ship was at the land, Io. 6.21. whither they went. Why haue nor they and I this dispatch? Euery thing is immediatly done, which is done when thou wouldst haue it done. Thy purpose terminates euery action, and what was done before [Page 499] that, is vndone yet. Shall that slacken my hope? Thy Prophet from thee, hath forbid it. Lam. 3.26. It is good that a man should both hope, and quietly wait for the saluation of the Lord. Thou puttest off many iudgements, till the last day, many passe this life without any; and shall not I endure the putting off thy mercy for a day? and yet, O my God, thou puttest me not to that; for, the assurance of future mercy, [...]s present mercy. But what [Page 500] is my assurance now? What is my seale? It is but a cloud; that which my Physitians call a cloud, in that, which giues them their Indication. But a Cloud? Thy great Seale to all the world, the raine-bow, that [...]ecured the world for euer, from drowning, Exo. 13.21. was but a reflexion vpon a cloud. A cloud it selfe was a pillar which guided the church, and the glory of God, 16.10. not only was, but appeared in a cloud. Let me returne, O my God, to the consideration [Page 501] of thy seruant Eliahs proceeding, 1 Reg. 19.43. in a time of desperate drought; he bids them look towards the Sea; They looke, and [...]ee nothing. He bids thē againe and againe, seuen times: and at the seuenth time, they saw a little cloud rising out of the Sea; and presently they had their desire of raine. Seuen dayes, O my God, haue we looked for this cloud, and now we haue it; none of thy Indications are friuolous; thou makest thy signes, seales; [Page 502] and thy Seales, effects; and thy effects, consolation, and restitution, whersoeuer thou maiest receiue glory by that way.
19. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who though thou passedst ouer infinite millions of generations, before thou camest to a Creation of this world, yet when thou beganst, didst neuer intermit that worke, but continuedst day to [Page 503] day, till thou hadst perfited all the worke, and deposed it in the hands and rest of a Sabbath, though thou haue beene pleased to glorifie thy selfe in a long exercise of my patience, with an expectation of thy declaration of thy selfe in this my sicknesse, yet since thou hast now of thy goodnesse afforded that, which affords vs some hope, if that bee still the way of thy glory, proceed in that way, and perfit that worke, and establish me [Page 504] in a Sabbath, and rest in thee, by this thy seale of bodily restitution. Thy Priests came vp to thee, by steps in the Temple; Thy Angels came downe to Iaacob, by steps vpon the ladder; we finde no staire, by which thou thy selfe camest to Adam in Paradise, nor to Sodome in thine anger; for thou, and thou o [...]ely art able to doe all at once. But, O Lord, I am not wearie of thy pace, nor wearie of mine owne patience. I prouoke [...]he [...] [Page 505] not with a praier, not with a wish, not with a [...]ope, to more haste than consists with thy purpose, nor looke that any other thing should haue entred into thy purpose, but thy glory. To heare thy [...]steps comming towards mee, is the same comfort, as to see thy face present with mee; whether thou doe the worke of a thousand yeere in a day, or extend the worke of a day, to a thousand yeere, as long as thou workest, it is light, [Page 506] and comfort. Heauen it selfe is but an extention of the same ioy; and an extention of this mercie, to proceed at thy leisure, in the way of restitution, is a manifestation of heauen to me here vpon earth. From that people, to whom thou appearedst in signes, and in Types, the Iewes, thou art departed, because they trusted in them; but from thy Church, to whom thou hast appeared in thy selfe, in thy Sonne, thou wilt neuer [Page 507] depart; because we cannot trust too much in him. Though thou haue afforded me these signes of restitution, yet if I confide in them, and beginne to say, all was but a Na [...]urall accident, and nature begins to discharge her selfe, and sh [...]e will perfit the whole worke, my hope shall vanish because it is not in thee. If thou shouldest take thy hand vtterly from me, and haue nothing to doe with me, Nature alone were able to destroy [Page 508] mee; but if thou withdraw thy helping hand, alas how friuolous are the helps of Nature, how impotent the assistances of Art? As therefore the morning dew, is a pawne of the euening fatnesse, so, O Lord, let this daies comfort be the earnest of to morrowes, so f [...]rre as may conforme me entirely to thee, to what end, and by what way so [...]uer thy mercie haue appointed mee.
20. Id [...]agunt. Vpon these Indications of digested matter, they proceed to purge.
10. MEDITATION.
THoug [...] counsel seeme rather to consist of spirituall parts, than action, yet action is the spirit and the soule of counsell. Counsels are not alwaies determined in Resolutions; wee cannot alwaies say, this was concluded; [Page 510] actions are alwaies determined in effects; wee can say this was done. Then haue Lawes their reuerence, and their maiestie, when wee see the Iudge vpon the Bench executing them. Then haue counsels of warre their impressions, and their operations, when we see the seale of an Armie set to them. It was an ancient way of celebrating the memorie of such as deserued well of the State, to afford them that kinde of statuarie representation, [Page 511] which was then called Hermes; which was, the head and shoulders of a man, standing vpon a Cube, but those shoulders without armes and hands. All together it figured a constant supporter of the state, by his counsell: But in this Hierogliphique, which they made without hands, they passe their consideration no farther, but that the Counsellor should bee without hands, so farre, as not to reach out his hand to forraigne tentations [Page 512] of bribes, in matters of Counsell, and, that it was not necessary, that the head should employ his owne hand; that the same men should serue in the execution, which assisted in the Counsell; but that there should not belong hands to euery head, action to euery counsell, was neuer intended, so much as in figure, and representation. For, as matrimonie is scarce to bee called matrimonie, August. where there is a resolution against the fruits of [Page 513] matrimonie, against the hauing of Children, so counsels are not counsels, but illusions, where there is from the beginning no purpose to execute [...]he determina [...]ions of [...]hose counsels. The arts and sciences are most properly referred to the head; that is their proper Element and Spheare; But yet the art of prouing, Logique; and the Art of perswading, Rhetorique, are deduced to the hand, and that expressed by a hand contracted into a [Page 514] sist, and this by a hand enlarged, and expanded; and euermore the power of man, and the power of God himselfe is expressed so [...] All things are in hi [...] hand [...] neither is God so often presented [...]o vs, by names that carry our consideratiō vpon counsell, as vpon execution of counsell, he is oftner called the Lord of Hosts, [...]han by all other names, that may be referred to the other signification [...] Hereby [...] therefore wee take into our meditation, [Page 515] the slipperie condition of man, whose happinesse, in any kinde, the defect of any one thing, conducing to that happinesse, may ruine; but i [...] must haue all the peeces to make it vp. Without counsell, I had not got thus farre [...] withou [...] action and practise, I should goe no farther towards health? But what is [...]he present nec [...]ssary action? purging: A withdrawing, a violating of Nature, a farther weakening: O deare price, & O strange [Page 516] way of addition, to doe it by substraction; of restoring Nature, to violate Nature; of prouiding strength, by increasing weaknesse. Was I not sicke before? And is it a question of comfort to be asked now, Did your Physicke make you sicke? Was that it that my Physicke promised, to make me sicke? This is another step, vpon which we may stand, and see farther into the miserie of man, the time, the season of his Miserie; It must [Page 517] bee done now: O ouer- [...]nning, ouer-watchfull, ouer-diligent, and ouer-sociable misery of man, that seldome comes alone, but then when it may accompanie other miseries, and so put one another into the higher exaltation, and better [...]eart. I am ground euen to an attenuation, and must proceed to euacuation, all waies to exinani [...]ion and annihilation.
20. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, the God of Order, but yet not of Ambition, who assignest place to euery one, but not contention for place, when shall it be thy pleasure to put an end to all these quarrels, for spirituall precedences? when shall men leaue their vncharitable disputations, which is to take place, faith or repentance, and which, when we consider faith, and works? The head [Page 519] and the hand too, are required to a perfit naturall man; Counsell and action too, to a perfit ciuill man; saith and works too, to him that is perfi [...]ly spirituall. But because it is easily said, I beleeue, and because it doth not easily lie in proofe, nor is easily demonstrable by any euidence taken from my heart, (for who sees th [...], who f [...]rches those Rolls [...]) whether I doe beleeue, or no, is it not therefore, O my God, that thou dost so frequently, [Page 520] so earnestly, referre vs to the hand, to the obseruation of actions? There is a little suspition, a little imputation laid vpon ouer-tedious and dilatorie counsels. Many good occasions slip away in long consultations; and it may be a degree of sloth, to be too long in mending nets, though that must bee done. Eccles. 11.4. He that obserueth the wind, shall not saw, and he that regardeth the [...]ouds, shall not reape; that is, he that is too dilatorie, too superstitious [Page 521] [...]n these obseruations, and [...]tudies but the excuse of his owne idlenesse in [...]hem; But, that which [...]he same wise and royall seruant of thine, saies in [...]n other place, all accept, [...]nd aske no comment vpon it, Prou. 10 4. He becommeth poore, that dealeth with a slacke hand [...] but the hand of the diligent maketh rich; All euill imputed to the absence, all good attributed to the presence of the [...]and. I know, my God, (and I blesse thy name for knowing it [...] for all [Page 522] good knowledge is from thee) that thou considerest the heart; but thou takest not off thine eie, till thou come to the hand. Nay, my God, doth not thy spirit intimate, that thou beginnest where wee beginne, (at least, that thou allowest vs to beginne there) when thou orderest thine owne answer to thine owne question, Psal. 24.3. Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? Thus, he that hath cleane hands, and a pure heart? Doest [Page 523] [...]ou not (at least) send [...], first to the hand? [...]nd is not the worke of [...]heir hands, that decla [...]tion of their holy zeale, [...] the present execution [...]f manifest Idolatrers, [...]lled a consecration of [...]emselues, Exod. 31.29. by thy holy [...]pirit? Their hands are [...]alled all themselues: for, [...]uen counsell it selfe goes [...]nder that name, in thy word, who knowest best [...]ow to giue right names: [...]ecause the counsell of the [...]riests assisted Dauid, Saul saies, the hand of the [Page 524] Priest is with Dauid [...] 1 Sam. 22.17. And that which is often said by Moses, is very often repeated by thy other Prophets, Leuit. 8.36. These and these things, the Lord spake, and the Lord said, and the Lord commanmanded, not by the counsels, not by the voice, but by the hand of Moses, and by the hand of the Prophets: Euermore we are referred for our Euidence, of others, and of our selues, to the hand, to action, to works. There is something before it, [Page 525] beleeuing; and there is some thing after it, suffering; but in the most eminent, and obuious, and conspicuous place, stands doing. Why then, O my God, my bl [...]ss [...]d God, in the waies of my [...]pirituall strength, come [...]l so slow to action? I was whipped by thy rod, before I came to consultation, to consider my state, and shall I go [...] no farther? As hee that would describe a circle in paper, if hee haue brought that circle within [Page 526] one inch of finishing yet if he remoue his compasse, he cannot make i [...] vp a perfit circle, excep [...] he fall to worke againe to finde out the sam [...] center [...] so, though setting that foot of my compass [...] vpon thee, I haue gon [...] so farre, as to the consideration of my selfe, yet i [...] I depart from thee, my center, all is vnperfit [...] This proceeding to action therefore, is a returning to thee, and a working vpon my selfe by thy Physicke, by thy purgatiue [Page 527] physicke, a free and entire euacuation of my soule by confession. The working of purgatiue physicke, is violent and contrary to Nature. O Lord, I decline not this potion of confession, how euer it may bee contrary to a naturall man. To take phys [...]cke, Gal [...]n. and not according to the right method, is dangerous. O Lord, I decline not that method in this physicke, in things that burthen my conscience, to make my confession to him, into whose [Page 528] hands thou hast put th [...] power of absolution. [...] know that Physicke may be made so pleasant, Galen. as tha [...] it may easily be taken; bu [...] not so pleasant as the ver [...]tue and nature of the me [...]dicine bee extinguished I know, I am not sub [...]mitted to such a confession as is a racke and tor [...]ture of the Conscience but I know I am not exempt from all. If it were meerely problematicall left meerely indifferent whether we should tak [...] this Physicke, vse thi [...] [Page 529] confession, or no, a great Physitian acknowledges this to haue beene his practise, Galen. To minister many things, which hee was not sure would doe good but neuer any other thing, but such as hee was sure would doe no harme. The vse of this spirituall Physicke can certainly doe no harme; and the Church hath alwaies thought that it might, and doubtlesse, many humble soules haue found, that it hath done them good. I will therefore [Page 530] take the cup of Saluation, Psa. 106 12. and call vpon thy Name; I will fill this Cup of compunction, as full as I haue formerly filled the Cups of wo [...]ldly confections, that so I may scape the cup of Malediction, and irrecouerable destruction that depends vpon that. And since thy blessed and glorious Sonne, being offered in the way to his Execution, Mar. 15 23. a Cup of Su [...] pefaction, to take away the sense of his paine, (a charity afforded to [Page 531] condemned persons ordinarily in those places, and times) refused that ease, and embraced the whole torment, I take not this Cup, but this vessell of mine owne sinnes, into my contemplation, and I powre them out here according to the Motions of thy holy Spirit, and any where, according to the ordinances of thy holy Church.
20. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most gracious God, who hauing married Man, and Woman together, and made them one flesh, wouldest haue them also, to become one soule so, as that they might maintaine a simpathy in their affections, and haue a conformity to one another, in the accidents of this world, good or bad, so hauing married this soule and this body in me, I humbly beseech [Page 533] thee, that my soule may looke, and make her vse of thy mercifull proceedings towards my bodily restitution, & goe the same way to a spirituall. I am come by thy goodnesse, to the vse of thine ordinary meanes for my body, to wash away those peccant humors, that endangered it. I haue, O Lord, a Riuer in my body, but a Sea in my soule, and a Sea swoln into the depth of a Deluge, aboue the Sea. Thou hast raised vp certaine [Page 534] hils in me heretofore, by which I might haue stood safe, from these inundations of sin. Euen our Naturall faculties are a hill, and might preserue vs from some sinne. Education, study, obseruation, example, are hills too, and might preserue vs from some. Thy Church, and thy Word, and thy Sacraments, and thine Ordinances, are hills, aboue these; thy Spirit of remorse, and compunction, & repentance for former sin, [Page 535] are hills too; and to the [...]op of all these hils, thou hast brought mee heretofore; but this Deluge, this inundation, is got aboue all my Hills; and I haue sinned and sinned, and multiplied sinne to sinne, after all these thy assistances against sinne, and where is there water enough to wash away this Deluge? There is a red Sea, greater than this Ocean; and there is a little spring, through which this Ocean, may powre it selfe into that red Sea. Let [Page 536] thy Spirit of true contrition, and sorrow passe all my sinnes through these eies, into the wounds of thy Sonne, and I shall be cleane, and my soule so much better purged than my body, as it is ordained for a better, and a longer life.
21 — Atque annuit Ille, Qui, per eos, clamat, Linquas iam, Lazare, lectum. God prospers their practise, and he, by them, calls Lazarus out of his tombe, mee out of my bed.
21. MEDITATION.
IF man had beene left alone in this world, at first, shall I thinke, that he would not haue fallen? [Page 538] If there had beene no Woman, would not Man haue serued, to haue beene his owne Tempter? When I see him now, subiect to infinite weakenesses, fall into infinite sinne, without any forraine tentations, shall I thinke, hee would haue had none, if hee had beene alone? GOD saw that Man needed a Helper, if hee should bee well; but to make Woman ill, the Deuill saw, that there needed no third. [Page 539] When God, and wee were alone, in Adam, that was not enough; when the Deuill and wee were alone, in Eue, it was enough [...] O what a Giant is Man, when hee fights against himselfe, and what a dwarfe, when hee needs, or exercises his owne assistance for himselfe? I cannot rise out of my bed, till the Physitian enable mee, nay I cannot tel, that I am able to rise, till hee tell me so. I doe nothing, I know nothing [Page 540] of my selfe: how little, and how impotent a pe [...]ce of the world, is any Man alone? and how much lesse a peece of himselfe is that Man? So little, as that when it falls out, (as it falls out in some cases) that more misery, and more oppression, would bee an ease to a man, he cannot giue himselfe that miserable addition, of more misery [...] A man that is pressed to death, and might be eased by more weights, cannot lay those more [Page 541] weights vpon himselfe: Hee can sinne alone, and suffer alone, but not repent, not bee absolued, without another. Another tels mee, I may rise; and I doe so. But is euery raising a preferment? or is euery present preferment a station? I am readier to fall to the Earth now I am vp, than I was wh [...]n I lay in the bed: O peruerse way, irregular motion of Man; euen rising it selfe is the way to Ruine. How many men [Page 542] are raised, and then doe not fill the place they are raised to? No corner of any place can bee empty; there can be no vacuity; If that Man doe not fill the place, other men will; complaints of his insufficiency will fill it; Nay, such an abhorring is there in Nature, of vacuity, that if there be but an imagination of not filling, in any man, that which is but imagination neither, will [...]ill it, that is, rumor and voice, [Page 543] and it will be giuen [...]ut, (vpon no ground, but Imagination, and no man knowes, whose imagination) that hee is corrupt in his place, or insufficient in his place, and another prepared to succeed him in his place. A man rises, sometimes, and stands not, because hee doth not, or is not beleeued to fill his place; and sometimes he stands not, because hee ouer-fills his place: Hee may bring so much vertue, so [Page 544] much Iustice, so much integrity to the place, as shall spoile the place, burthen the place; his integrity may bee a Libell vpon his Predecessor, and cast an infamy vpon him, and a burden vpon his successor, to proceede by example, and to bring the place it selfe, to an vnder-value, and the market to an vncertainty. I am vp, and I seeme to stand, and I goe round; and I am a new Argument of the new Philosophie, [Page 545] That the Earth [...]oues round; why may [...] not beleeue, that the [...]hole earth moues in a round motion, though that seeme to mee to stand, when as I seeme [...]o stand to my Compa [...]y, and yet am carried, in a giddy, and circular motion, as I stand? Man hath no center, but misery; there and onely there, hee is fixt, and sure to finde himselfe. How little soeuer he bee raised, he moues, and moues in a circle, [Page 546] giddily; and as in the Heauens, there are bu [...] a few Circles, th [...]t goe about the whole world, but many Epicicles, and other lesser Circles, but yet Circles, so of those men, which are raised, and put into Circles, few of them moue from place to place, and passe through many and beneficiall places, but fall into lit [...]le Circles, and within a step or two, are at their end, and not so well, as they were in [Page 547] [...]he Center, from which [...]hey were raised. Eue [...]y thing serues to exem [...]lifie, to illustrate mans [...]isery; But I need goe [...]o farther, than my selfe; [...]or a long time, I was not [...]ble to rise; At last, I [...]ust bee raised by o [...]hers; and now I am vp, I am ready to sinke lower than before.
[...]1. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, how large a glasse [Page 548] of the next World is this? As wee haue an Art, to cast from on [...] glasse to another, and so to carry the Species a great way off, so hast thou, that way, much more; wee shall haue a Resurrection in Heauen; the knowledge of that thou castest by another glasse vpon vs here; we feele that wee haue a Resurrection from sinne; and that by another glasse too; wee see wee haue a Resurrection of the body, from the mise [...]ies [Page 549] and calamities of [...]his life. This Resurre [...]tion of my body, shewes me the Resurrection of [...]ny soule; and both [...]ere seuerally, of both [...]ogether hereafter. Since [...]hy Martyrs vnder the Altar, presse thee with [...]heir solicitation for the Resurrection of the body to glory, thou wouldest pardon mee, if I should presse thee by Prayer, for the accomplishing of this Resurrection, which thou hast begunne in me to [...] [Page 552] blessed and glorious Tr [...]nity, was none to heare but you three, and yo [...] easily heare one ano [...]ther, because you sa [...] the same things. Bu [...] when thy Sonne cam [...] to the worke of Re [...]demption, Io. 12.28. thou spokest and they that heard it tooke it for Thunder and thy Sonne himself [...] cried with a loud voice [...] vpon the Crosse, twice [...] as hee, who was to prepare his comming [...] Iohn Baptist, Mat. 27 46.50. was th [...] voice of a cryer, and [Page 553] [...]ot of a Whisperer. Still, [...]f it be thy voice, it is a loud voice; Deut. 5.22. These words, [...]aies thy Moses, Thou [...]okest with a great voice, [...]nd thou addest no more, [...]aies hee there; That which thou hast said, is [...]uident, and it is euident, [...]hat none can speake so [...]oud; none can binde vs [...]o heare him, as wee [...]ust thee. The most high vttered his voice: what was his voice? 2 Sam. 22.14. The Lord [...]undred from heauen, it might bee heard; But [...]his voice, thy voice, is [Page 554] also a mightie voice; Psal. 68 33. not onely mightie in power, it may be heard, nor mightie in obligation, it shoul [...] be heard, but mightie in operation, it will be [...] heard; and therefore has [...] thou bestowed a whol [...] Psalme vpon vs, Psal. 29. to lead [...] vs to the consideration of thy voice. It is such a voice, as that thy Sonne saies, Io. 5.25. the dead shall hear [...] it; and thats my state [...] And why, O God, doest thou not speake to me [...] in that effectuall loudnesse? Saint Iohn heard a voice, Apo. 1.12. [Page 555] [...]d hee turned about to see [...]he voice: sometimes we [...]e too curious of the [...]strument, by what man [...]od speakes; but thou [...]peakest loudest, when [...]hou speakest to the [...]eart. There was silence, [...]nd I heard a voice, Iob. 4.16 saies [...]ne, to thy seruant Iob. I [...]earken after thy voice, [...] thine Ordinances, and [...] seeke not a whispering [...]n Conuenticles; but yet, O my God, speake louder, [...]hat so, though I doe [...]eare thee now, then I may heare nothing but [Page 556] thee. My sinnes crie aloud; Cains murther di [...] so; my afflictions cri [...] aloud; Psa. 93.3.4. The flouds hau [...] lifted vp their voice, (an [...] waters are afflictions) bu [...] [...]hou, O Lord, art migh [...]tier than the voice o [...] many waters; than ma [...]ny temporall, many spi [...]rituall afflictions; tha [...] any of either kinde; and why doest thou no [...] speak to me in that voice? Ecclus. 8.8. What is man, and whereto serueth he? what is hi [...] good, and what is his euill? My bed of sinne is no [...] [Page 557] [...]uill, not desperatly euill, for thou doest call mee out of it; but my rising out of it is not good, (not perfitly good) if thou call not louder, and hold me now I am vp. O my God, I am afraid of a fearefull application of [...]hose words, when a man [...]ath done, then hee begin [...]eth; Ibid. v. 7. when his body is vnable to sinne, his sinfull memory sinnes ouer his old sinnes againe; and that which thou wouldest haue vs to remember for cōpunction, [Page 558] wee remember with delight. 1 Sam. 19.15. Bring him to me in his bed, that I may kill him, saies Saul of Dauid; Thou hast not said so, that is not thy voice. Ioasb his owne seruants slew him, when hee was sicke in his bed; 2 Chro. 24.25. Thou hast not [...]uffered that, that my seruants should so much as neglect mee, or be wearie of mee, in my sicknesse. Thou threatnest, Amos 3.12. that as a shepheard takes out of the mouth of the Lion, two legs, or a peec [...] of an eare, so shall [Page 559] the children of Israel, that [...]well in Samaria, in the corner of a bed, and in Da [...]ascus, in a couch bee ta [...]en away. That euen they that are secure from danger, shall perish; How much more might I, who was in the bed of death, die? But thou hast not dealt so with mee. Act. 5.15. As they brought out sicke persons in beds, that thy seruant Peters shadow might ouer-shadow them; Thou hast, O my God, ouer-shadowed mee, refreshed mee: But when [Page 560] wilt thou doe more? when wilt thou doe all? when wilt thou speake in thy loud voice? when wilt thou bid mee take vp my bed and walke? Mat. 96 As my bed is my affections, when shall I beare them so as to subdue them? As my bed is my afflictions, when shall I beare them so, as not to murmure at them? When shall I take vp my bed and walke? not lie downe vpon it, as it is my pleasure, not sinke vnder it, as it is my correction? But, O [Page 561] my God, my God, the God of all flesh, and of all spirit too, let me bee content with that in my [...]ainting spirit, which thou declarest in this decaied flesh, that as this body is content to sit still, that it may learne to stand, and to learne by standing to walke, and by walking to trauell, so my soule by obeying this thy voice of rising, may by a farther and farther growth of [...]hy grace, proceed so, and bee so established, as may remoue [Page 562] all suspitions, all iealousies betweene thee and mee, and may speake and heare in such a voice, as that still I may bee acceptable to thee, and satisfied from thee.
21. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who hast made little things to signifie great, and conuaid the infinite merits of thy Sonne in the water of Baptisme, and in the Bread and Wine of thy [Page 563] other Sacrament, vnto vs, receiue the sacrifice of my humble [...]hanks, that [...]hou hast not onely af [...]orded mee, the abilitie [...]o rise out of this bed of wearinesse & discom [...]ort, [...]ut hast also made this bodily rising, by thy grace, an earnest of a second resurrection from sinne, and of a third, to euerlasting glory. Thy Sonne himselfe, alwaies infinite in himselfe, & incapable [...]f addition, was yet pleased to grow in the Virgi [...]s wombe, & to grow [Page 564] in stature, in the sight of men. Thy good pu [...]poses vpon mee, I [...]now, haue their determination and perfection, in thy holy will vpon mee; there thy grace is, and there I am altogether; but manifest thē [...]o vnto me in thy seasons, and in thy measures and degrees, that I may not onely haue that comfort of knowing thee to be infinitely good, but that also of finding thee to bee euery day better and better to mee: and that as [Page 565] [...]hou gauest Saint Paul, [...]he Messenger of Satan, to humble him, so for my [...]umiliation, thou maiest giue me thy selfe, in this [...]nowledge, that what [...]race soeuer thou af [...]ord mee to day, yet I [...]hould perish to morrow, if I had not to morrowes grace too. Therefore I begge of thee, my daily bread; and as thou gauest mee the bread of sorrow for many daies, and since the bread of hope for some, and this day the bread of possessing, in [Page 566] rising by that strength, which thou the God of all strength, hast infused into me, so, O Lord, continue to mee the bread of life; the spirituall bread of life, in a faithfull assurance in thee; the sacramentall bread of life, in a worthy receiuing of thee; and the more reall bread of life, in an euerlasting vnion to thee. I know, O Lord, that when thou hadst created Angels, and they saw thee produce fowle, and fish, and beasts, and [Page 567] wormes, they did not importune thee, and say, shall wee haue no better [...]reatures than these, no better companions than these; but staid thy leisure, and then had man deliuered ouer to them, not much inferiour in nature to themselues. No more doe I, O God, now that by thy first mercie, I am able to rise, importune thee for present confirmation of [...]ealth; nor now, tha [...] by thy mercie, I am brought to see, that thy [Page 568] correction hath wrought medicinally vpon mee, presume I vpon that spirituall strength I haue; but as I acknowledge, that my bodily strength is subiect to euery pu [...]e of wind, so is my spirituall strength to euery blast of vanitie. Keepe me therefore still, O my gracious God, in such a proportion of both strengths, as I may still h [...]e something to thanke thee for, which I haue receiued, & still something to pray for, and aske at thy hand.
[...]. Si [...] morbi fomes tibi cura; [...]he Physitians consider the root and occasion, the embers, and coales, and fuell of the disease, and seeke to purge or correct that.
[...]2. MEDITATION.
HOw ruinous a farme hath man taken, in [...]aking himselfe? how [...]eady is the house eue [...]y day to fall downe, [Page 570] and how is all the groun [...] ouer-spread with weeds [...] all the body with diseases? where not onely euery turfe, but euery stone [...] beares weeds; not onely euery muscle of the flesh, but euery bone of the body, hath some infirmitie [...] euery little flint vpon the face of this soile, hath some infectious weede, euery tooth in our head, such a paine, as a constant man is afraid of, and yet ashamed of that feare, of that sense of the paine. How deare, and how of [...]n [Page 571] a rent doth Man [...]ay for this farme? hee [...]ies twice a day, in [...]ouble meales, and how [...]tle time he hath to raise [...] rent? How many ho [...] daies to call him from [...]s labour? Euery day is [...]alfe-holy day, halfe spent [...]n sleepe. What repara [...]ions, and subsidies, and [...]ontributions he is put to, [...]esides his rent? What [...]edicines, besides his di [...]? and what Inmates [...]e is faine to take in, besides [...]is owne familie, what infectious diseases, [Page 572] from other men. Adam might haue had Paradise for dressing and keeping it; and then his ren [...] was not improued to such a labour, as would haue made his brow sweat; and yet he gaue it ouer; how farre greater a rent doe wee pay for this farme, this body, who pay our selues, who pay the farme it selfe, and cannot liue vpon it? Neither is our labour at an end, when wee haue cut downe some weed, as soone as it sprung vp, [Page 573] corrected some violent [...]nd dangerous accident of a disease, which would [...]aue destroied speedily; [...]or when wee haue pulled vp that weed, from the very root, recouered [...]ntirely and soundly, from that particular disease; but the whole ground is of an ill na [...]ure, the whole soile ill disposed; there are [...]nclinations, there is a propensnesse to diseases in the body, out of which without any other disorder, diseases will grow, and so wee are put to a [Page 574] continuall labour vpon this farme, to a continuall studie of the whole complexion and constitution of our body. In the distempers and diseases of soiles, sourenesse, drinesse, weeping, any kinde of barrennesse, the remedy and the physicke, is, for a great part, sometimes in themselues; sometime the very situation releeues them, the hanger of a hill, will purge and vent his owne malignant moisture; and the burning of the vpper [Page 575] [...]urfe of some ground (as [...]ealth from cauterizing) [...]uts a new and a vigorous youth into that soile, [...]nd there rises a kinde of Phoenix out of the ashes, [...] fruitfulnesse out of that which was barren before, and by that, which is the barrennest of all, ashes. And where the ground cannot giue it [...]elfe physicke, yet it receiues Physicke from other grounds, from other soiles, which are not the worse, for hauing contributed that [Page 576] helpe to them, fro [...] Marle in other hils, o [...] from slimie sand in othe [...] shoares: grounds help themselues, or hurt no other grounds, fro [...] whence they receiu [...] helpe. But I haue take [...] a farme at this hard rent and vpon those heau [...] couenants, that it can afford it selfe no helpe; (no part of my body, if it were cut off, would cure another part; in som [...] ca [...]es it might preserue a sound part, but in no case recouer an infected) [Page 577] [...]nd, if my body may haue [...]ny Physicke, any Medi [...]ine from another body, one Man from the flesh of another Man (as by Mummy, or any such composition,) it must [...]ee from a man that is dead, and not, as in other soiles, which are neuer the worse for contributing their Marle, or their fat slime to my ground. There is nothing in the same man, to helpe man, nothing in mankind to helpe one another, (in this sort, by way of [Page 578] Physicke) but that hee who ministers the helpe, is in as ill case, as he that receiues it would haue beene, if he had not had it; for hee, from whose body the Physicke comes, is dead. When therefore I tooke this farme, vndertooke this body, I vndertooke to draine, not a marish, but a moat, where there was, not water mingled to offend, but all was water; I vndertooke to perfume dung, where no one part, but all was equally [Page 579] vnsauory; I vndertooke to make such a thing wholsome, as was not poison by any manifest quality, intense heat, or cold, but poison in the whole substance, and in the specifique forme of it. To cure the s [...]arpe accidents of diseases, is a great worke; to cure the disease it selfe, is a greater; but to cure the body, the root, the occasion of diseases, is a worke reserued for the great Physitian, which he doth ne [...]er any other way, but [Page 580] by glorifying these bodies in the next world.
22. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, what am I put to, when I am put to consider, and put off, the root, the fuell, the occasion of my sicknesse? What Hypocrates, what Galen, could shew mee that in my body? It lies deeper than so; it lies in my soule: And deeper than so; for we may wel consider the body, before the [Page 581] soule came, before inanimation, to bee without sinne; and the soule b [...] fore it come to the body, before that infection, to be without sinne; sinne is the root, and the fuell of all sicknesse, and yet that which destroies body & soule, is in neither, but in both together; It is in the vnion [...] of the body and soule; and, O my God, could I preuent that, or can I dissolue that? The root, and the fuell of my sicknesse, is my sinne, my actuall sinne; but euen [Page 582] that sinne hath another root, another fuell, originall sinne; and can I deuest that? Wilt thou bid me to separate the leuen, that a lumpe of Dowe hath receiued, or the salt, that the water hath contracted, from the Sea? Dost thou looke, that I should so looke to the fuell, or embers of sinne, that I neuer take fire? The whole world is a pile of fagots, vpō which w [...]e are laid, and (as though there were no other) we are the bellowes. [Page 583] Ignorance blowes the fire, Leu. 5.2 He that touched any vncleane thing, though he knew it not, became vncleane, Num. 15 22. and a sacrifice was required, (therefore a sin imputed) though it were done in ignorance. Ignorance blowes this Coale; but thē knowledge much more; for, Rom. 1.32. there are that know thy iudgements, and yet not onely doe, but haue pleasure in others, that doe against them. Nature blowes this Coale; Eph. 2.3. By nature wee are the children of wrath: And the Law [Page 584] blowes it, thy Apostle, Saint Paul, [...]ound, That sinne tooke occasion by the Law, that therefore because it is forbidden, we do some things. If wee breake the Law, wee sinne; 1 [...]o. 3.4. Sinne is the transgression of the Law; And sinne it selfe becomes a Law in our members. Rom. 7.23. Our fathers haue imprinted the seed, infused a spring of sinne in vs: Ier. 6.7. As a fountaine casteth out her waters, wee cast out our wickednesse; 7.26. but we haue done worse than our fathers. [Page 585] We are open to infinite tentations, and yet, as though we lacked, Iacob. 1.14. we are tempted of our owne lusts. And not satisfied with that, as though we wer [...] not powerfull enough, or cunning enough, to demolish, or vndermine our selues, when wee our selues haue no pleasure in the sinne, we sinne for others sakes. Gen. 3.6. When Adam sinned for Eues sake, and Salomon to gratifie his wiues, 1 Reg. 1 [...].3. it was an vxorious sinne: When the Iudges [Page 586] sinned for Iezabels sake, 1 Reg. 21 and Ioab to obey Dauid, 1 Par. 22 3. it was an ambitious sinne: Lu [...]. 23.23. When Pilat sinned to humor the people, Act. 12.3. and Herod to giue farther contentment to the Iewes, it was a popular sinne: Any thing serues, to occasion sin, at home, in my bosome, or abroad, in my Marke, and aime; that which I am, and that which I am not, that which I would be, proues coales, and embers, and fuell, and bellowes to sin; and dost thou put me, O [Page 587] my God, to discharge my selfe, of my selfe, before I can be well? When [...]hou bidst me to put off [...]he old Man, Eph. 4.22. doest thou meane, not onely my old habits of actuall sin, but the oldest of all, originall sinne? When thou biddest me purge out the [...]euen, 1 Cor. 5.7. dost thou meane, not only the sowrenesse of mine owne ill contracted customes, but the innate tincture of sin, imprinted by Nature? How shall I doe that which thou requirest, [Page 588] and not falsifie that which thou hast said, that sin is gone ouer all? But, O my God, I presse thee not, with thine owne text, without thine owne comment; I know that in the state of my body, which is more discernible, than that of my soule, thou dost effigiate my Soule to me. And though no Anatomist can say, in dissecting a body, here lay the coale, the fuell, the occasion of all bodily diseases, but yet a man may haue such a knowledge [Page 589] of his owne constitution, and bodily inclination to diseases, as that he may preuent his danger in a great part: so though wee cannot assigne the place of originall sinne, nor the Nature of it, so exactly, as of actuall, or by any diligence deuest it, yet hauing washed it in the water of thy Baptisme, wee haue not onely so cleansed it, that wee may the better look vpon it, and discerne it, but so weakned it, that howsoeuer it [Page 590] may retaine the former nature, it doth not retaine the former force, and though it may haue the same name, it hath not the same venome.
22. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, the God of securitie, and the enemie of securitie too, who wouldest haue vs alwaies sure of thy loue, and yet wouldest haue vs alwaies doing something [Page 591] for it, let mee alwaies so apprehend thee, as present with me, and yet so follow after thee, as though I had not apprehended thee. Thou enlargedst Ezechias lease for fifteene yeeres; Thou renewedst Lazarus his lease, for a time, which we know not: But thou didst neuer so put out any of these fires, as that thou didst not rake vp the embers, and wrap vp a future mortalitie, in that body, which thou hadst then so reprieued. [Page 592] Thou proceedest no otherwise in our soules, O our good, but fearefull God: Thou pardonest no sinne so, as that that sinner can sinne no more; thou makest no man so acceptable, as that thou mak [...]st him impeccable. Though therefore it were a diminution of the largenesse, and derogatorie to the fulnesse of thy mercie, to looke backe vpon those sinnes which in a true repentance [...] I haue buried in the wounds of [...]hy [Page 593] Sonne, with a iealous or suspicious eie, as though they were now my sinnes, when I had so [...]ransferred them vpon [...]hy Sonne, as though [...]hey could now bee raised to life againe, to condemne mee to death, when they are dead in [...]im, who is the fountaine of life, yet were it an irregular anticipation, and an insolent presumption, to think [...] that thy present mercie extended to all my future sinnes, or that there were no embers, no [Page 594] coales of future sinnes left in mee. Temper therefore thy mercie so to my soule, O my God, that I may neither decline to any faintnesse of spirit, in suspecting thy mercie now, to bee lesse hearty, lesse sincere, than it vses to be, to those who are perfitly reconciled to thee, nor presume so of it, as either to thinke this present mercie an antidote against all poisons, and so expose my selfe to tentations, vpon confidence that this thy mercie [Page 595] shall preserue mee, or that when I doe cast my selfe into new sinnes, I may haue new mercie at any time, because thou didst so easily afford mee this.
23.—Metusque, Relabi They warne mee of the fearefull danger of relapsing.
23. MEDITATION.
IT is not in mans body, as it is in the Citie, that when the Bell hath rung, to couer your fire, and [...]ake vp the embers, you may lie downe, and sleepe without feare. Though you haue by [Page 597] [...]ysicke and diet, raked vp the embers of your [...]isease, stil there is a feare of a relapse; and the greater danger is in that. [...]uen in pleasures, and in [...]ines, there is a propriety, [...] Meum & Tuum; and a man is most affected with that pleasure which is his, his by former en [...]oying and experience, and most intimidated with those paines which are his, his by a wofull [...]ense of them, in former [...]fflictions. A couetous [...]erson, who hath preoccupated [Page 598] all his senses, filled all his capacities, with the delight of gathering, wonders how any man can haue any taste of any pleasure in any opennesse, or liberalitie; So also in bodily paines, in a fit of the stone, th [...] patient wonders why any man should call the Gout a paine: And hee that hath felt neither, but the tooth-ach, is as much afraid of a [...]it of that, as either of the other, of either of the other. Diseases, which we [Page 599] [...]euer felt in our selues, [...]ome but to a compassi [...] of others that haue [...]ndured them; Nay, [...]ompassion it selfe, comes [...]o no great degree, if wee [...]aue not felt, in some [...]roportion, in our selues, [...]hat which wee lament [...]nd condole in another. But when wee haue had [...]hose torments in their [...]altation, our selues, wee [...]emble at a relapse. [...]hen wee must pant [...]hrough all those fierie [...]eats, and saile thorow [...]ll those ouerflowing [Page 600] sweats, when wee must watch through all those long nights, and mourne through all those long daies, ( daies and nights, so long, as that Nature her selfe shall seeme to be peruerted, and to hau [...] put the longest day, and the longest night, which should bee six moneths asunder, into one naturall, vnnaturall day) when wee must stand at the same barre, expect the returne of Physitians from [...]heir consultations, and not bee sure of the s [...]me [Page 601] verdict, in any good Indications, when we must goe the same way ouer againe, and not see the same issue, this is a state, a condition, a calamitie, in respect of which, any other sicknesse were a [...]onualescence, and any greater, lesse. It addes to the affliction, that relapses are, (and for the most part iustly) imputed to our selues, as occasioned by some disorder in vs; and so we are not onely passiue, but actiue, in our owne ruine; we doe not [Page 602] onely stand vnder a falling house, but pull it downe vpon vs; and wee are not onely executed, (that implies guiltinesse) but wee are executioners, (that implies dishonor;) and executioners of our selues, (and that implies impietie.) And wee fall from that comfort which wee might haue in our first sicknesse, from that meditation, Alas, how generally miserable is Man, and how subiect to diseases, (for in that it is some degree of [Page 603] comfort, that wee are but in the sta [...]e common to all) we fall, I say, to this discomfort, and selfe accusing, & selfe condemning; Alas, how vnprouident, and in that, how vnthankfull to God and his instruments am I, in making so ill vse of so great benefits, in destroying so soone, so long a worke, in relapsing, by my disorder, to that from which they had deliuered mee; and so my meditation is fearefully transferred from the body to the [Page 604] minde, and from the consideration of the sicknesse, to that sinne, that sinfull carelesnesse, by which I haue occasioned my relapse. And amongst the many weights that aggrauate a relapse, this also is one, that a relapse proceeds with a more violent dispatch, and more irremediably, because it finds the Countrie weakned, and depopulated before. Vpon a sicknesse, which as yet appeares not, wee can scarce fix a feare, because [Page 605] wee know not what to feare; but as feare is the busiest and irksomest affection, so is a relapse (which is still ready to come) into that, which is but newly gone, the nearest obiect, the most immediate exercise of that affection of fear [...].
23. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, my God, thou mightie Father, who hast beene my Physitian; Thou glorious Sonne, who hast beene my physicke; Thou blessed Spirit, who hast prepared and applied all to mee, shall I alone bee able to ouerthrow the worke of all you, and relapse into those spirituall sicknesses, from which your infinite mercies haue withdrawne me? Though thou, O [Page 607] my God, h [...]ue filled my measure with mercie, yet my measure was not so large, as that of thy whole people, the Nation, the numerous and glorious nation of Israel; and yet how often, how often did they fall into relapses? And then, where is my assurance? how easily thou passedst ouer many other sinnes in them, and how vehemently thou insistedst in those, into which they so often relapsed; Those were their murmurings [Page 608] against thee, in thine Instruments, and Ministers, and their turnings vpon other gods, and embracing the Idolatries of their neighbours. O my God, how slipperie a way, to how irrecouerable a bottome, is murmuring? and how neere thy selfe hee comes, that murmures at him, who comes from thee? The Magistrate is the garment in which thou apparellest thy selfe; and hee that shoots at the [Page 609] cloathes, cannot say, hee meant no ill to the man: Thy people were feareful examples of that; for, how often did their murmuring against thy Ministers, end in a departing from thee? when they would haue other officers, they would haue other gods; and still to daies murmuring, was to morrowes Idolatrie; As their murmuring induced Idolatrie, and they relapsed often into both, I haue found in my selfe, O my God, (O [Page 610] my God, thou hast found it in me, and thy finding it, hath shewed it to me) such a transmigration of sinne, as makes mee afraid of relapsing too. The soule of sinne, (for wee haue made sinne immortall, and it must haue a soule) The soule of sinne, is disobedience to thee; and when one sinne hath beene dead in mee, that soule hath passed into another sinne. Our youth dies, and the sinnes of our youth with it; some [Page 611] sinnes die a violent death, and some a naturall; pouertie, penurie, imprisonment, banishment, kill some sinnes in vs, and some die of age; many waies wee become vnable to doe that sinne; but still the soule liues, and passes into another sinne; and that, that was licentiousnesse, growes ambition, and that comes to indeuotion, and spirituall coldnesse; wee haue three liues, in our state of sinne; and where the sinnes o [...] [Page 612] youth expire, those of our middle yeeres enter; and those of our age after them. This transmigration of sinne, found in my selfe, makes me afraid, O my God, of a Relapse: but the occasion of my feare, is more pregnant [...]han so; for, I haue had, I haue multiplied Relapses already. Why, O my God, is a relapse so odious to thee? Not so much their murmuring, and their Idolatry, as their relapsing into those sinnes, seemes to affect [Page 613] thee, in thy disobedient people. They limited the holy one of Israel, Psal. 78.41. as [...]hou complainest of them: That was a murmuring; but before thou chargest them with the fault it selfe, in the same place, thou chargest them, with the iterating, the redoubling of [...]hat fault, before the fault was named; How oft did they prouoke mee in the Wildernesse; and grieue me in the Desart? That which brings thee to that exasperation [Page 614] against them, as to say, that thou wouldest breake thine owne oath, Num. 14 22. rather than leaue them vnpunished, (They shall not see the land, which I sware vnto their fathers) was because they had tempted thee ten times, infinitely; vpon that, thou threatnest with that vehemencie, Ios. 23.12. if ye do in any wise goe backe, know for a certainty, God will no more driue out any of these Nations from before you; but they shall be snares, and traps vnto you, and scourges [Page 615] in your sides, and thornes in your eies, till ye perish. No tongue, but thine owne, O my GOD, can expresse thine indignation, against a Nation relapsing to Idolatry. Idolatry in any Nation is deadly; but when the disease is complicated with a relapse (a knowledge and a profession of a former recouerie) it is desperate: And thine anger workes, not onely where the euidence is pregnant, and without exception, (so thou saiest, [Page 616] when it is said, Deut. 13 12. That certaine men in a Citie, haue withdrawne others to Idolatrie, and that inquirie is made, and it is found true, the Citie, and the inhabitants, and the Cattell are to bee destroied) but where there is but a suspicion, a rumor, of such a relapse to Idolatrie, thine anger is awakened, and thine indignation stirred. I [...]s. 22.11. In the gouernment of thy seruant Iosua, there was a voice, that Reuben and Gad, with those of Manasseh, [Page 617] had built a new altar. Israel doth not send one to enquire; 1.12. but the whole congregation gathered to goe vp to warre against them; and there went a Prince of euery Tribe: And they obiect to them, not so much their present declination to Idolatry, as their Relapse; Num. 25 4. is the iniquity of Peor too little for vs? An idolatry formerly committed, and punished with the slaughter of twenty foure thousand delinquents. At [Page 618] last Reuben, and Gad satisfie them, that that Altar was not built for Idolatry, but built as a patterne of theirs, that they might thereby professe themselues to bee of the same profession, that they were; and so the Army returned without bloud. Euen where it comes not so farre, as to an actuall Relapse into Idolatry, Thou, O my GOD, becommest sensible of it; though thou, who seest the heart all the way, preuentest [Page 619] all dangerous effects, where there was no ill meaning, how euer there were occasion of suspicious rumours, giuen to thine Israel, of relapsing. So odious to thee, & so aggrauating a weight vpon sinne, is a relapse. But, O my God, why is it so? so odious? It must bee so, because hee that hath sinned, and then repented, hath weighed God and the Deuill in a ballance; hee hath heard God and the Deuill plead; and after hearing, giuen [Page 620] Iudgement on that side, to which he adheres, by his subsequent practise; Tertull. if he returne to his sinne, hee decrees for Satan; he prefers sinne before grace, and Satan before God; and in contempt of God, declares the precedency for his aduersary: And a contempt wounds deeper than an iniury; a relapse deeper, than a blasphemy. And when thou hast told me, that a relapse is more odious to thee, neede I aske why it is more dangerous, [Page 621] more pernitious to me? Is there any other measure of the greatnesse of my danger, than the greatnesse of thy displeasure? How fitly, and how fearefully hast thou expressed my case, in a storm [...]t Sea, if I relapse? (They mount vp to Heauen, Psa. 107 26. and they goe downe againe to the depth:) My sicknesse brought mee to thee in repentance, and my relapse hath cast mee farther from thee: Mat. 12.45. The end of that man shall be worse than the beginning, saies [Page 622] thy Word, thy Sonne; My beginning was sicknesse, punishment for sin; but a worse thing may follow, Io. 8.14. saies he also, if I sin againe: not onely death, which is an [...]nd, worse than sicknesse, which was the beginning, but Hell, which is a beginning worse than that end. Mar. 14 70. Thy great seruant denied thy Sonne, and he denied him againe; but all before Repentance; here was no relapse. O, if thou haddest euer re-admitted Adam into [Page 623] Paradise, how abstinently would hee haue walked by that tree? and would not the Angels, that fell, haue fixed themselues vpon thee, if thou hadst once re-admitted them to thy sight? They neuer relapsed; If I doe, must not my case be as desperate? Not so desperate, for, Ecclus. 2.18. as thy Maiestie, so is thy Mercie, both infinite: and thou who hast commanded me to pardon my brother seuenty seuen times, hast limited thy selfe to no [Page 624] Number. If death were ill in it selfe, thou wouldest neuer haue raised any dead Man, to life againe, because that man must necessarily die againe. If thy Mercy, in pardoning, did so farre aggrauate a Relapse, as that there were no more mercy after it, our case were the worse for that former Mercy; for who is not vnder, euen a necessity of sinning, whilst hee is here, if wee place this necssity in our own infirmity, and not in thy [Page 625] Decree? But I speak not this, O my God, as preparing a way to my Relapse out of presumption, but to preclude all accesses of desperation, though out of infirmity, I should Relapse.
23. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who though thou beest euer infinite, yet enlargest thy selfe, by the Number of our prayers, and takest [Page 626] our often petitions to thee, to be an addition to thy glory, and thy greatnesse, as euer vpon all occa [...]ions, so now, O my God, I come to thy Maiestie with two Prayers, two Supplications. I haue Meditated vpon the Ielouzie, which thou h [...]st of thine owne honour; and considered, that Nothing can come neerer a violating of that h [...] nor, neerer to the Nature of a scorne to thee, then to sue out thy P [...]rdon, and receiue the Seal [...]s of [Page 627] Reconciliation to thee, and then returne to th [...]t sinne, for which I needed, and had thy pardon before. I know that this comes to neare, to a making thy holy Ordinances, thy Word, thy Sacraments, thy Seales, thy Grace, instruments of my Spirituall Fornications. Since therefore thy Correction hath brought mee to such a participation of thy selfe ( thy selfe, O my God, cannot bee parted) to such an intire possession of thee, as that [Page 628] I durst deliuer my selfe ouer to thee this Minute, If this Minute thou wouldst accept my dissolution, preserue me, O my God the God of constancie, and perseuerance, in this state, from all relapses into those sinnes, which haue induc'd thy former Iudgements vpon me. But because, by too lamentable Experience, I I know how slippery my customs of sinne, haue made my wayes of sinne, I presume to adde this petition too, That if my [Page 629] infirmitie ouertake mee, thou forsake mee not. Say to my Soule, My Sonne, thou hast sinned, doe so no more; Ecclus. 21.1. but say also, that though I doe, thy Spirit of Remorce, and Compunction shall neuer depart from mee. Thy Holy Apostle, Saint Paul, 2. Cor. 11.25. was shipwrackd thrice; & yet stil saued. Though the rockes, and the sands, the heights, and the shallowes, the prosperitie, and the aduersitie of this world do diuersly threaten mee, though mine [Page 630] owne leakes endanger mee, yet, O God, let mee neuer put my selfe aboard with Hymeneus, Timo. 1.19. nor make shipwracke of faith, and a good Conscience, and then thy longliud, thy euerlasting Mercy, will visit me, though that, which I most earnestly pray against, should fall vpon mee, a relapse into those sinnes, which I haue truely repented, and thou hast fully pardoned.