1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife.

THis dutie cons [...]steth seue­rally in these three points. First, that he liue with his wife discreetly, according vnto knowledge. Second­ly, that hee bee not bitter, fierce, and cruell vnto her. Thirdly, that hee loue, cherish, and nourish his wife, euen as his owne bodie, and as Christ lo­ued his Church, and gaue himselfe for it, to san­ctifie it. But before we shall speake of these [...]hree points, we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy Wedlocke: what it is, when, where, how, and of whom it was institu­ted and ordained.

What wed­lock is.Wedlocke or Matrimonie, is a lawfull knot, and vnto God an acceptable Math. 19.5.6. yoking and ioy­ning together of Genes. 1.27. 1. Cor. 6.16. Ephes. 5.31. Prou. 5.18.19, 20. one man, and one woman, with the good consent of them both: to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honestie, one helping and comforting the o­ther, eschewing whoredome, and all vnclean­nesse, bringing vp their children in the feare of God: or it is a coupling together of two per­sons into one flesh, not to be broken, according vnto the ordinance of God: so to continue du­ring the life of either of them: Genes. 2.24. Ma­lach. 2.14. Rom. 7.3.

Yoking and dwelling toge­ther what it is.By yoking, ioyning, or coupling, is meant, not onely outward dwelling together of the maried folkes, as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place, for the better performance of each other mutuall duties: Mat. 1.18. 1. Cor. 7.10, 12, 13. 1. Pet. 3.7. Ruth. 4.11, 12: but also an vniforme agreement of minde, and a common participa­tion of bodie and goods: for as much as the Lord saith, Ge [...]. 2.24. that they two shall be one flesh: that is, one bodie. This is to bee remembred, that Matrimonie or Wedlocke must not onely be a coupling together, but also it must bee such a coupling together as commeth of God, and is not contrarie to his word and will. For there be some mariages made, whom God coupleth not together, but carnall lust, beautie, riches, goods, and lands, flatterie, and friendship: in [Page 99] such mariages God is not thought vpon, and therefore they sin the more against him. These and such like mariages bee disliked and con­demned in the Scripture: Genes. 6.1, 2. Ezech. 10.1, &c. Matth. 24.38, 39. God did appoint and ordaine Matrimonie himselfe in Paradice, so that he is the author of the same, Gen. 2.20. Yea, and our Sauiour Christ himselfe (who be­ing the very naturall sonne of God) was borne in wedlocke (although of a pure virgin) did ho­nour and commend Matrimonie, while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle (Iohn 2.1.) at a mariage: whereby he did declare, that the Lord is able to make the bitternes of mariage sweet, and the scarcitie thereof to abound with plentie. And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to mariage: saying, that it is Mariage ho­noura [...]. 1. First for the Authour, which is God. 2. For the time, which was du­ring the [...]t [...]e of Adams in­nocencie. 3. For the place, which was paradice. Honourable among all, Heb. 13.4. that is, among all estates, and all nations. The institution of Matrimonie, is an indissoluble bond and knot, whereby the husband and wife are fastned together by the ordinance of God, and is [...]. 2.24. Matth. 19. [...]. Mark. 10.7. 1. Cor. 6.16. Ephes. 5.31. straighter then any other coniunction in the societie of mankinde. Insomuch, that it is a lesse offence to forsake father and mother, and to leaue them succour­les, (which notwithstanding ought by Gods commandement to be honored) then it is to do the like toward his lawfull maried wife. Wher­fore let them looke well what they doe, that are readie for light and small causes to separate mā [Page 100] man and wife: seeing that Christ himselfe saith, Matth. 19.9. That whosoeuer is separated from his wife, sauing for whoredome, and marrieth another, committeth adulterie.

This is a thing worthie to bee remembred, both on the behalfe of the Suter and Woer, as also on her part that is woed: namely, that they deale plainly and faithfully one with the other, and not guilefully, and craftily, goe about to deceiue one the other, in bodie or goods: for so doing, they shall neuer vse one the other so louingly, and commodiously, as they hoped and desired they might, when the one hath fraudulently, and deceitfully inticed and be­guiled the other, either in bodie or substance: for naturally wee hate him, or her, that doth be­guile vs. Neither is there any thing that displea­seth a man or woman more, then to lacke and faile of the thing they both hoped and looked for. And therefore it were conuenient, and also much better, that both parties should disclose the one to the other, such imperfections, infir­mities, and wants, in either of their bodies, as also the mediocritie and meannesse of their goods and substāce, as in truth it is: yea though it should be with the perill and losse one of the other, rather then the one to obtaine and get the other with fraud, guile, and discord.

But before wee shall come to speake of the causes of mariage, we purpose (God so willing) [Page 101] briefly to shew, how euery one that entendeth to marrie, should chuse him a meete, fit, and ho­nest mate: for there lieth much weight in the wise election and choise of a wife. Gen. 2.18. As hee that will plant any thing, doth first consider the na­ture of the ground, in the which he mindeth to plant: euen so much more ought a man to haue respect to the condition of the woman, out of whom hee desireth to plant children, the fruits of honestie and welfare.

The first thing that is to bee remembred of such a one as mindeth to marrie, is, Such as are of kindred in the flesh, may not contract ma­trimonie. that hee doe not chuse his wife within such degrees of con­sanguinitie and affinitie, as are by Leuit. 18.6. &c. Gods law forbidden. Secondly, Deut. 7.3. 2. Cor. 6.14.15. &c. Religion and faith must be considered, least he make diuorce of the true faith, or bring it into perill. For although hee thinke himselfe as wise as 1. King. 11.4. Salomon, and as strong as Iudg. 16.17.18. Sampson, yet may he bee ouercome as they were. Therefore great aduisement be­fore hand, is to be taken in this behalfe, least af­terwards with much griefe and sorrow of hart, he doe too late repent.

Now if any that hath matched himselfe with a wife that is an infidell, irreligious, or of a cor­rupt religion, and would put her away for this matter, herein he deceiueth himselfe, 1. Cor. 7.12.13 &c. 1. Pet. 3.1. as the A­postle manifestly proueth: for wee must put a difference betweene that mariage that is made and done alreadie, and it, that is yet to doe. [Page 102] Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife, as is either froward, wayward, or els is poysoned with superstition and poperie: in such a case he must call vpon God; and liue in his feare, in faithfulnesse, in patience, and with discretion and godly counsell labour to winne her from the same. For like as that Husband­man doth with great labour and diligence till that ground, which hee hath once taken to farme, although it be neuer so full of faults: as if it be drie, if it bring forth weedes, b [...]ambles, or briers: or though the same ground cannot beare much wet; yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof. Euen so in like maner, he that hath maried a wife that is irreligious or froward, if he shall vse like diligence to instruct and order her minde, if he diligently and cour­teously apply himselfe to weede out by little and little the noysome weeds out of her minde, both by holesome and godly precepts, and by Christian conuersation; it cannot bee but in time he shall feele the pleasant fruit thereof, to both their comforts: for as it is commonlie said, a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. Euery one therefore that purposeth to marrie, ought also to remember that there be three maner of riches in man. Three maner of riches in man. 1. The riches of the minde. 2. The riches of the bodie. 3. The riches of temporall substance. The best and the most precious are the riches of the minde: as with­out [Page 103] which, the other two are more hurtfull then profitable.

The riches of the mind, Riches of the minde. are the feare of God, faith, Gods glorie, knowledge of his will, so­bernesse, liberalitie, chastitie, silence, humble­nes, honestie, and such like vertues. These ver­tues lie not still, neither hide themselues where­soeuer they be, but will break out diuers waies, so that they may well bee spied and discerned. As a traueller hath markes in his way, that he may proceede aright: so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marrie, haue also marks in their waies, by which they may make a right choise. There bee certaine signes of this fitnes and godlin [...]s both in the man and in the woman. So that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman, or the woman would know who is a godly man, then let them obserue and marke these sixe points. Sixe rules to be obserued in the choise of a good wife, or a good hus­band. 1. The report. 2. The lookes. 3. The speech. 4. The apparell. 5. The companions. 6. And lastly, the education and bringing vp, which are like the pulses that shew whether a man be sick or whole, well or ill.

1. The report, 1. Report. name, or fame, he or she hath had, and yet haue, and what opinion honest folkes haue of them: because as the market go­eth, so the market-men will talke. A good man and a good woman commonlie haue a good name, Prou. 10.7. and 22.1. Preach. 7.3. because a good name is one of the bles­sings which God promiseth to good men and [Page 108] good women: Psal. 112.6. but a good name is not to bee praised from the wicked: Luk. 6.26. And ther­fore our Sauiour Christ saith, Woe be to you whē all men speake well of you: that is, when euill men praise and commend you: for that is a plaine argument, that you are ambitious, vain-glorious, and of the world: For the world liketh and praiseth her own. Ioh. 15.19. Neuerthelesse, it is conuenient that euery Christian should so liue in the world, that though he cannot say as Christ sayd, Ioh. 8.46. Which of you can rebuke me of sinne? Yet in truth, he with a good con­science may boldly say, Which of you can ac­cuse me of lying, swearing, whoring, dissem­bling, dishonestie, deceit, couetousnesse, or such like. Which though no man can cleere him­selfe in thought before God of these, and other notorious vices: yet euery one before men should auouch it, and approoue it in their do­ings: and liue so vprightly, holily, iustly, and vn­blameably that none could iustly charge them with any open sinne: Luke 1.6, 15. Iob. 1.1. 1. Thess. 2.10. and 3.13. Tit. 2.12. 1. Pet. 1.15.

2. The looke.2. The next signe is the looke: for as Salomon saith, Eccles. 8.1. The wisedome of a man doth make his face to shine: that is, procureth him fa­uour and good liking: Pro. 17.24. so also godlinesse is in the face of a man or woman: and so likewise folly and wickednesse may many times be seene and discerned by the face of a man or woman. [Page 105] And therfore it is said in Esay, Esay. 3.9. The triall of their countenance testifieth against them. As though their lookes could speake: Psalm. 18.27. and 101.5. Iob. 31.1. and therefore wee reade of proude lookes, and angrie lookes, and wanton lookes, because they bewray pride, and anger, and wantonnes. It is truly said, that a modest man dwels at the signe of a modest countenance, and an honest woman dwelleth at the signe of an honest face: which may fitlie bee compared to the gate of the Temple, that was called Beautifull: shewing, Act. 3.2. that if the en­trie be so beautifull, within is great beautie.

To shew how a modest countenance, Vnder faire fa­ces, are some­times hidden filthy mindes. & wo­manly shamefastnesse doe commend a chaste wife: it is obserued, that the word Nuptiae, which doth declare the maner of her mariage: for it importeth a couering, because virgins which should bee maried, when they came to their husbands, for modestie and shamefastnes did couer their faces: as wee reade of Rebecca, Genes. 24.65. which when she saw Isaak, and knew that hee should bee her husband, she cast a vaile before her face: shewing that modestie should bee learned before mariage, which is the dowrie that God addeth to her portion.

3. The third signe is her talke, or speech, 3. The talke. or rather her silence: for a man or womans talk­ing, is the mirrour and messenger of the minde, in the which it may commonly be seene with­out, in what case the man or woman is within, [Page 106] according to the common prouerbe. Such as the man or woman is, To Adam first, and to Moses after. such is their talke. Now silence is the best ornament of a woman, and therefore the law was giuen to the man, rather then to the woman, to shew that he should be the teacher, and she the hearer, and therefore she is commaunded to learne of her husband: 1. Cor. 14.34, 35. As the Eccho answereth but one word for many, Maides must speake like an Eccho. which are spoken to her, so a maides answer should be in a word: for shee which is full of talke, is not likely to proue a quiet wife. The eye and the speech, are as the Glasses of the minde: For out of the aboun­dance of the heart (saith our Sauiour) the mouth speaketh: Matth. 12.34. as though by the speech, wee might know what aboundeth in the heart, and there­fore he saith: Matth. 12.37. By thy words thou shall be iustifi­ed, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. That is, thou shalt bee iustified to bee wise, or thou shalt be condemned to be foolish: thou shalt be iustified to be sober, or thou shalt be condemned to be rash: thou shalt be iustified to bee humble, or thou shalt bee condemned to be proud: thou shalt be iustified to be lo­uing, or thou shalt be condemned to be enui­ous. Therefore Salomon saith: Prou. 18.7. A Fooles lippes are a snare to his owne soule. Snares are made for other, but this snare catcheth a mans selfe, because it bewrayeth his follie, and causeth his trouble, and bringeth him into discredit. Con­trariwise, [Page 107] The heart of the wise (saith Salomon) guideth his mouth wisely, Prou. 16.23. and the words of his mouth haue grace.

Now to shew that this should be one marke in the choise of a wife, Salomon describing a right wife, saith: Prou. 31.26. She openeth her mouth with wisedome, and the law of grace is in her tongue: for that she delighteth to talke of the word of God. A wife that can speake this language, is better than she which hath all the tongues. But as the open vessels were counted vncleane, Numb. 19.15. so also account, that the open mouth hath much vncleannesse.

4. The fourth signe is the apparell: 4. Apparell. Luk. 16.19. Mark. 1.6. for as the pride of the Glutton is noted, in that he went in purple euery day; so also the humilitie of Iohn is noted, in that hee went in haire-cloth euery day. For doubtlesse by a man or a womans apparell, excessiue laughter, and going, they may partly bee discerned of what disposition they are of. It is conuenient that he that will be a suter to a woman, that he marke what appa­rell she customably vseth to weare, whether it bee vaine, whorish, wanton, light, or comely, modest, and mannerly, and beseeming her e­state and condition: to wit, honest and sober raiment. For apparell doth giue often a cer­taine and sure testimonie of pride, lightnesse, wantonnesse, inconstancie, vnshamefastnesse, filthinesse or vncleannesse, and other vices, [Page 108] or vertues, that be either in the man or the wo­man. For a modest man or woman, are for the most part knowne by their sober attire: 2. King. 1.8. as the Prophet Eliah was knowne by his rough gar­ment. So that wee are to looke for no better within, then we see without, for euery one see­meth better than they be: if the face be vanitie, the heart is pride. He that biddeth vs abstaine from the shew of euill, 1. Thes. 5.22. would haue vs to ab­staine from those meanes, husbands, or wiues, who haue the shewes of euill: for it is hard to come in the fashion, and not to be in the abuse. And therefore the Apostle saith: Rom. 12.2. Fashion not your selues like vnto this world: as though the fashions of men did declare of what side they are.

5. Companie.5. The fift signe is the companie, by means whereof, much may be perceiued: for as whole and sound eyes, with beholding and looking on sore eyes, bee annoyed and hurt, euen so good and honest folkes be oftentimes stained and hurt with the company of the wicked and vngodly, Men are com­monly condi­tioned, euen like vnto them that they keepe companie withall. according to the common prouerbe: Such like is euery one, as the companie is with whome they keepe: for birdes of a feather will holde together; and fellowes in sinne, will be fellowes in league: euen as young Rehoboam chose young companions: 1. King. 12.8. The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde, Prou. 1.11. and 13.20. nor the cleane dwell with the leprous: If a man can [Page 109] be knowne by nothing else, Psalm. 6.8. Numb. 16.26. Iosu. 23.12. 2. Chron. 19.2. 2. Cor. 6.14. Ephes. 5.7. then he may be knowne by his companions: for like will to like, as Salomon saith: Theeues call one another. Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie, he saide: Away from mee all yee that worke iniquitie: shewing, that a man neuer abandoneth euill, vntill he abandon euill companie: for no good is concluded in this Parliament. Therefore choose such a companion of thy life, as hath chosen companie like thee before: for they which did chuse such as loued prophane com­panions before, in a short time were drawne to be prophane too.

6. The last signe is education, 6. The bring­ing vp. It skilleth more by whom, and by what waies mē be brought vp, then of whom they be begotten. which giueth also great testimonie, namely by whome, and how euery one is brought vp, whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertu­ous or vicious persons, and whether the parties haue continued in the nurture of the vertuous: and shewed themselues obedient to them, vn­der whome they were brought vp, or whether either of the parties haue broken out of this dis­cipline, and followed his, or her owne wilful­nes. For it is a small matter for either of them to haue dwelt among, or with vertuous and re­ligious folke: but rather herein lieth the force and weight, how far, and how much, either or both the parties haue followed those, and pro­fited vnder them, and were dutifull and obedi­ent vnto them. For Iudas was among, and ac­companied [Page 110] with the Apostles, brought vp certaine yeeres vnder Christ, but for all this, he was neuer the better: for he left not his wicked prancks, neither was he obedient. Neuertheles, good education and discipline formeth good manners: men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill thinges, which in youth they learned. To be good, it doth much profite to be well brought vp. Therefore to prooue good, honest, and vertuous, it importeth and forceth much, from the infancie to bee well gouerned, and christianly brought vp for we retaine much more of the customes, wherewith we be bred, then of the inclinations wherewith wee bee borne.

All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings, and meetinges of the partie, for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed, and none are so often deceiued as louers. He there­fore which will know all his wiues qualities: or shee that will perceiue her husbands dispositi­ons, and inclinations, before either be married to them, had need to see one the other eating, and walking, woorking, and playing, and tal­king, and laughing, and chiding too: or else it may be, the one shall haue with the other, lesse then he or she looked for, or more then they wi­shed for. Here is to be remembred, a thing ad­ioyned to marriage, and going before it: name­ly, Betrothing, beeing a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children, as is proued, Deu­teron. [Page 111] 20.7. & 22.23, 24. This Betrothing, What betro­thing is. is a couenant betweene the parties to bee married, before fit witnesses appointed thereto: where­by they giue their troth, that they will, and shal marrie togither, except some lawfull vnmeete­nesse and disliking of each of other, do hinder it in the meane time. The practise of it we see: Matth. 1.18. Luke 1.27. Where the Virgine Marie beeing betrothed to Ioseph, yet they had not mette togither, to wit, to accompany togither according to the ende of marriage. This custome, noted and marked in diuers pla­ces of the Scripture, hath diuers good grounds to be obserued, which proue, that there ought to be a contract before marriage. And for the ter vnderstanding of this point of Betrothing, it shall not be amisse, in some plaine and short manner, to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof, with the doctrine also of marriage, and marriage duties. First then we must know, that euery mariage, that hath bin well and orderly v­sed, either of the heathen (which were only in­lightned with the law of nature) or of the peo­ple of God, who also were to be directed by his word, was perfected by two solemne actions: that is, by an apparant & open contract and by publike mariage, the true & vnfained cōfirmati­on therof. Wherfore we wil first speak of a con­tract (which is also called espousing, affiancing, betrothing, or hand fasting) thē of mariage it self. [Page 112] And for betrothing, or espousals, we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers, Histories, Orators, Poets and others, that they be of great antiquitie, of necessarie vse, and haue been or­dinarily practised. Insomuch, as the vsers there­of are highly commended, the neglecters and a­busers hereof, sharply rebuked and condem­ned. Which seeing they could not do, but vp­on knowledge and iudgement, it doth mani­festly declare, that they did it by natures lawe, written and bred in their breasts. And therefore that euen nature it selfe, though in some matters starke blinde, and in many of very dim sight: yet she hath in all ages bewraied the lawfulnes, the necessitie, and the vse of espousals, to be the first step and degree, to a lawfull and comfor­table marriage.

But to omit this lawe, and to come to the written word, let vs further consider what al­lowance we finde in the same, and consequent­ly what it is, not onely to marrie, not onely ac­cording to the direction of nature, but also in the Lord. First it is certaine, that the Lord ap­proueth them as his owne sacred ordinance: for we reade in Exodus 21.7, 8, 9, 10, 11. how carefully hee prouideth by sundry and many straight commaundements for the Maide-ser­uant that is betrothed. First, that she shall not goe out of her seruice, as the Men-seruants doe. Secondly, that her Master shall haue no power [Page 113] to sell her to a strange people. Thirdly, that be­ing betrothed vnto his sonne, hee shall deale with her as with his owne doughter. Fourthly, if another wife bee taken with her, that neither her foode, her raiment, nor recompence of her Virginitie, shall any whit at all be diminished. Fiftly, that whensoeuer she goeth out of her ser­uice, she shal pay no money at al. None where­of the Lord would haue done (much lesse all of them) vnlesse espowsalls had been his owne or­dinance, instituted, ordained and commaunded by himselfe to bee vsed, euen of the Maid-ser­uant, that was bought and sold. Againe it is written in Deut. 22.23, &c. how the Lord by like commandement, prouideth for y ^e espowsed maid, being inoffensiue, yet beeing guiltie, hee punisheth with lesse punishment, then if shee had been indeed married. First then hee com­mandeth, that if any man shal abuse a betrothed virgine in the Citie, both shall bee stoned to death, the Maide because she cried not, the man because hee hath humbled his neighbours wife. Where by the way, is to be remembred, how God calleth the betrothed, a wife. If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death, and if betrothed persons bee truely to be termed man and wife, onely in regard of the precedent es­powsals, wee may then plainly see, how highly the Lord doth esteeme and honour them: the breach whereof, he punisheth with the punish­ment [Page 114] of adulterie, & the persons betrothed, hee honoureth with the names of man and wife. If indeed he had not ordained and allowed them, but that they had been of humane institution alone, he would not haue honoured them with such titles, or haue imposed death by stones, for the breach of mans ordinance. Againe, if a man abuse a betrothed maid in the field, hee saith, that the man shall die, but vnto the maid thou shalt doo nothing, because there is in the maid no cause of death.

Now imposing death vppon this man, and not vpon him that abuseth a maid not betroth­ed, the Lorde doth hereby euidently teach, that espowsals are a principall degree in marriage. And therfore the vnlawfull breach thereof deser­ueth death. For what else should y ^e Lord grace thē, with such great priuiledges, and punish the breach thereof, with seuere punishment?

Further, the faithfull in all ages instructed by these, and such commaundements, approued and practised these espowsals, not onely by themselues, Iudg. 14.1, &c. but also by their children. Sampson liking and louing a woman of the Philistines in Timnah, desired his Father and Mother to giue her to him to wife: and so they did: at which time Sampson made a feast, according to the custome of the yong men. Albeit, her fa­ther afterward would not suffer him to marrie her, but gaue her to another: for which iniurie [Page 115] Sampson reuenged himselfe of the Philistines, by burning vp the ricks of standing corne, vine­yardes, and Oliues. For which the Philistines burnt both the Father and the daughter. 1. Sam. 18.15.26.27. 2. Sam. 3.14.15.16. So Dauid begged Micholl of her father Saul, who gaue her to him to wife, with condition, that hee would bring him a hundreth foreskinnes of the Philistines: and therefore, when Saul was dead, hee required her of Ishbosheth, Saules sonne, who sent her vnto him. Also Ioseph and Marie the mother of Christ, were betrothed, which God would neuer haue permitted, if it had not been of his owne ordinance and agree­able to his owne wil, or if he might any manner of way, haue stained either Iosephs honestie, or Maries virginitie: Nay if hee had not much more graced and adorned both, then the want of espowsals could haue done.

And to auoide tediousnesse in so plaine a trueth, 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38. seeing the scripture giueth power and authoritie to Parents, to giue, and not to giue their children in marriage: saying, let him doo what he will.

Againe, hee that giueth her in marriage doth well, and hee that giueth her not to marriage doth better: (whereof wee shall speake more at large anone) there must needes be before the publike act of marriage, some speciall time appoynted: wherein both Parents, and parties, may testify and signifie their mutuall liking [Page 116] and consents, vnlesse they despise to marrie in the Lorde.

Wherefore, if the law of nature, the law of God, the practise of the Heathen, the custome of Faithfull, especially of the Parents of Christ: If the punishment of the espowsall-breakers, and the rewards and priuiledges of the espow­sed. And finally, if the fatherly authoritie ouer children, doo approue and require the continu­all vse of this ordinance of God, it must needes be confessed to be both lawfull and necessarie: yea being the first principall part of marriage it selfe, it must needes be honourable in his kind, as well as marriage it selfe is. Now then, in the next place, let vs see & learne, what a contract is, to the end, that vppon sound knowledge and right iudgement, we may alwaies vse it wel, and neuer ill, for want of good vnderstanding.

This short sentence, sheweth the whole na­ture, qualitie, propertie, vse, and abuse, with all other things, that are to be obserued or eschued in a right Contract, as shall appeare by the vn­folding of euery word contained therein: For as [Page 117] there is none vaine and idle, voide of his proper signification, so euerie one hath his proper waight, seruing for speciall and necessarie vse.

1. First, wee call a Contract a promise, and so it is indeed, for what is a promise but a speech which affirmeth or denieth, to doo this or that, with pupose and words of testimonie, to per­forme and accomplish, y ^t which is affirmed, or not to do that which is denied? And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract, but this? so that it must be in nature, a true and right pro­mise: not the vowe of a promise in time to cōe, but a present promise in deede. For if one partie do say, I will promise to marrie thee: this is no promise in deede, but a promise of a promise, and consequently no Contract, but a promise of a Contract. And therefore tieth nor bindeth neither parties, nor Parents to keepe the same: for it is not in nature any contract at al. Againe, if a Contract be a promise, it is not onely a pur­pose of the heart, nor a dumbe shewe, or doubt­full signification of promise: but a plaine pro­mise vttered & pronounced in a right forme of speech: as when one saith, I doe promise to mar­rie thee, or I do espouse, affiance, or betroth my selfe to thee in marriage, or such like: wherein al ambiguitie and doubtfulnesse of speech, is to be eschued: that as the meaning of y ^e hart is simple and plaine, so likewise the words of the tongue, might be simple and plaine, voide of all deceit.

[Page 118]2. Secondly, we call a Contract a promise of mariage, because it is not a promise of euerie thing, neither of honour, of inheritance, of ri­ches, or of any other thing else, sauing onely of marriage. Now wee meane by marriage, not onely the parties married, but all coniugall and mariage duties and offices, that peculiarly be­long to this honorable estate, and are necessari­ly to bee performed mutually of both. For this promise, touching persons themselues▪ is of such force & waight, that it tendeth to the alienation of the propertie of bodies: for so it is written, the wife hath not the power of her owne bodie, but the husband: 1. Cor. 7, 4. and likewise also the husband hath not the power ouer his owne body, but the wife. For although this is not perfectly done, till the act of marriage be ended, yet this promise is the principall beginner and worker thereof, be­cause they that promise marriage, do necessari­ly thereby promise, that two shall become one flesh, and that they will alwaies giue mutuall beneuolence one to another.

Touching the peculiar duties of husbands and wiues, which likewise are promised by this Contract, wee will here onely recite them, leauing the doctrine thereof, to another place and time.

1. The husband his dutie is, first to loue his wife, as his owne flesh. 2. Then to gouern her in all duties, that properly concerne the state [Page 119] of marriage, in knowledge, in wisedome, iudge­ment, and iustice. Thirdly, to dwell with her. Fourthly, to vse her in all due beneuolence, 1. Pet. 13.7. 1. Cor. 7.45. ho­nestlie, soberly, and chastly.

1. The wife, her dutie is, in all reuerence and humilitie, to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband, in al such duties as properly belong to marriage. Secondly, therein to be an helpe vnto him, according to gods ordinance. Thirdly, to obey his commandements in all things, which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband. Fourthly and lastly, to giue him mu­tuall beneuolence. As for the rest of mutuall duties, as they may be all comprehended vnder these, so there shall be a fitter occasiō to speake thereof.

Thirdly, wee call this promise of marriage, voluntary, because it must not come from the lippes alone, but from the wel-liking and con­sent of the heart: for if it be onely a verball pro­mise, without any wil at all, (and so meer hypo­criticall and dissembled) though it bindeth the partie that promiseth, to the performance of his promise, made before God and man: yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this, and that there was no will, nor vnfained mea­ning at all in the party, neither yet is, but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betro­thed, though hee bee not able to render iust [Page 120] and sufficient cause thereof, they maye vpon this occasion, either deferre the day of marriage the longer, to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie, or vtterly breake and fru­strate the promise: if all good meanes and oc­casions hauing been vsed, none wil preuaile: but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse. For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent, there is no cause why the Parents, and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases, when they shall vndoubtedly knowe, that the promise was altogither vnwil­ling, and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation, neither can bee by tract of time, or any other good meanes vsed, be better­ed, but rather (waxeth woorse and woorse) may not breake and frustrate the same. For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack, neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married, Gen. 24, 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent: yea, when as they said: Wee will call the maide, and aske her consent: do they not plainely shewe, that both the law of Nature, and the law of God, taught them, that this consent was of great moment, and absolute necessitie? And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women, to marrie in the Lorde, how can that marriage be in the Lord, when the one par­tie doth not onely, not loue, but hate the other? And how can such two become one flesh law­fully, [Page 121] when as there wanteth the vnion and con­iunction of the heart, the true naturall mother of all marriage duties? Wherefore this promise must be in this respect, at least, willing, and vo­luntarie. For albeit, it is not necessarie, neither yet possible, that there should bee such great measure of true, holy, and sanctified loue at that time, as afterward (for that groweth by little and little, according to the blessing of God, and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward, euen to their liues end) yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained, it is enough, and fully sufficient, to make a true contract in the Lord. So, as no man ought to separate those, whom God hath thus ioyned. Secondly, wee call it voluntarie, in respect of constraint and compulsion, contra­rie to a free consent: for if eyther partie bee vr­ged, constrained, or compelled, by great feare of their Parents, or others, by threatning of losse of preferment, of health, of limme, of life, or of any such other like, or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer, to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to y ^e motion of good liking of their hearts. This kinde of promise, as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it: so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Pa­rents themselues, or by such maisters as may and ought, to commaund and rule them in such cases. If this were not so, how could the par­ties keepe the commaundements of God, gi­uing [Page 122] them direction whom to marrie? First that they should marrie onely in the Lord.

Againe, that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels, neither whereof they can keepe, if their parents might compell them or Contract & marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes, to yeelde their consent, rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning, drunkennesse, or any other wicked and violent meanes. For as that is not to marrie in the Lord: so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate, who is Gods Lieutenant, to redresse such intollera­ble enormities among the societies of men. For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtai­ned the word and body of their childe, much more may the Magistrate denie marriage, where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion, and so for these causes, and in this sence and meaning a­lone, wee conclude, that Contract must bee voluntarie.

Fourthly, it must bee a mutuall promise, that is, either partie must make it to other, not the man onely, nor the woman onely, but both the man and the woman: though decencie and order require the man to doo it first, and then the woman, because hee is [Page 123] her head, and shee his glorie: and ought to leade and guide her in all things, wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence. For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both, but of one alone, it is no true and perfect Con­tract. And therefore may bee broken by Pa­rentes, and such as haue authoritie heerein: because the partie vnpromising, is not bound by word nor deede, but is free, insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed, then for that it is any true Contract indeede. But if it bee mutuall, then it doth mutually and inui­olably binde both: so that in this regard, neither Parent, Magistrate, nor any other, can or ought to breake it. For this beeing fully performed and accomplished, is one principall cause of making two one flesh, in such sort as it is written. Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother, and shall bee ioyned to his wife, and they two shall bee one flesh, &c. Genes. 2.24. Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body, nor the woman ouer hers: and so to bee short, hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them. And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie, in no wise to bee omitted in Contract.

Fiftly, we say, it must be betweene one man and one woman: Where first it is to bee no­ted, that it may not, nor ought not, to bee be­tweene any other creatures, but mankinde, nay [Page 124] neither among brute beastes, nor Angels. For God hath not ordained nor instituted marriage for them, neither can it bee between man and man, or woman and woman. If any such Con­tract be either voluntarie, or by fraude and de­ceite, by ignorance or errour, it is no Contract at all, but a meere wicked profanation of Gods ordinance, who gaue onely woman to man, not woman to woman, nor man to man. Like­wise, it cannot bee between Angells good or badde, and woman, because God hath set no such ordinance in the nature of these creatures. If therefore there hath beene any such matter, or shall be attempted by Sathan, with any wo­man (as some stories report) it is nothing else but a meere illusion and deuillish practise, to drawe and deceiue superstitious persons into the kingdome of darkenesse, and to intrappe them in the chaines of condemnation: against which, and all other diabolicall illusions, wee ought to watch and pray continually.

Secondly, it is to be obserued, that betweene one man, and one woman, and not two men and one woman, or two women, not betweene two women and one man or moe. By which is condemned, as meere nullities and propha­nations, all Contracts whatsoeuer, made be­tweene moe then two. Math. 19.5. Mar. 10.8 Ephes. 5.31. 1. Cor, 6.16. For it is written: And they twaine shall be one flesh: to which Marke addeth: So that they are no more twaine, but [Page 125] one flesh. Wherefore, seeing that Christ and his Apostles, expound the first institution of mar­riage, of two onely, and not of any moe: it is certaine, that the contract or promise thereof, ought to be of two alone, and no moe. So the holy Ghost saying; 1. Cor. 6.2. Let euery man haue his owne wife, & euerie woman her owne husband: and not, let euery one haue his owne wiues, or owne husbands: it is therefore plaine and que­stionlesse, that hee would haue a contract and marriage, to be onely betweene one and one. Againe, saying: his owne, and her owne, doth he not plainely insinuate euery other person, and persons, not to be their owne, but meere stran­gers, with whom they ought to haue nothing adoe, in respect of marriage duties, especially considering, that the Greeke word Idio, can im­port no lesse. Now then, if there bee at any time, or in any place, a promise betweene moe then two, as it is a wicked and meere propha­nation of the holy ordinance of God: so it may and ought to be broken; yea, seuerely punished by Parentes and Magistrates. If against this, it be obiected, that many of the Patriarches, and good men vnder the Law, had many wiues, or at least moe then one: We answere, it was their secret sinne, and great infirmitie, though pro­ceeding from ignorance of the first institution, of marriage, of the Law and the holy Prophets (or else they had warrant from God, which we [Page 126] haue noted.) Of the institution, because Christ interpreting it, Math. 19.8. sayth: From the beginning it was not so: proouing, that Moses permitted diuorcement of the first wife, and marriage of the second, not mooued or warranted by the authoritie of Gods institution, but by a feare­full and timerous consideration of the hard­nesse of the peoples hearts, whom hee ruled, least they should haue rebelled against him, if hee had not so done. Of the law, because there was by this meanes, great iniurie done to Gods truth, and to the wiues diuorced: be­sides, the law it selfe well vnderstood (as Christ expoundeth it, Math. 5.32.) admitteth no diuorcement, except it bee for fornication, and that the Lorde did disallow and hate all other kindes of diuorcement, made without the cause of fornication: Deut. 24.4. it is euident,. in that hee condemneth the second marriage, after the first diuorcement, affirming that the woman so diuorced, is defiled by her second husband: which could not bee true, if their marriage had been lawfull and warrantable, Hebr. 13.4. Mal. 2.14.15.16. by the comman­dement of God, for where the marriage is law­full and honorable, there the bedde is vndefiled. Of the Prophets, because the Lorde hath been witnesse betweene thee and thy wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast transgressed: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy coue­nant: and did not hee make one? yet had hee [Page 127] aboundance of the spirit: and wherefore one? because hee sought a godly seede: therefore keepe your selues in your spirit, and let none trespasse against the wife of his youth. If thou hatest her, put her away (sayth the Lorde of Is­raell) yet hee couereth the iniurie vnder his gar­ment (sayth the Lord of Hosts) therefore keepe your selues in your spirit, and transgresse not. Then which wordes, what can be more plainely spoken against this sinne of hauing moe wiues then one? 1 For doth not the Prophet plainely say, that God is witnesse, that they haue trans­gressed against the wife of their youth & coue­nant? 2 doth he not cal them to the first instituti­on, when God made but one, & that because he would haue a godly seede, and not an adulte­rous generation? 3 doth he not further say, that in putting away the wife, they did nothing else, but couer iniurie, vnder pretence of his law, as with a garment? 4 And finally, doth he not giue a clean contrarie commaundement, to that wicked custome of diuorcement, and marrying of o­thers? when he saith: keepe your selues in your spirit, and let none transgresse against the wife of his youth, and of his couenant? Surely none can bee so blinde, but reading this portion of scripture, hee must needs plainly see and ac­knowledge the same. Wherefore, if the first sa­cred inststution of God, do bewary this corrup­tion of hauing moe wiues then one: If the law [Page 128] doe condemne it, and if the Prophets doe so sharply censure and rebuke it? Why should a­ny bee so impudent and wicked, as to iustifie it in word, or to approue it in thought? Rather as here we teach, let vs iudge and beleeue, that e­uerie lawfull Contract and mariage, ought to be onely betweene one man, and one woman. And the rest to bee so many breaches of Gods ordinances and commaundements, which can not be but hateful to him, and iniurious to man­kinde: but especially to the Church of God, which ought to arise of a holie and godly seed. Now if any Contract be made betweene moe then two, it is altogether voide, and of none ef­fect, and ought to be broken by the parties, and punished by the Magistrate.

The sixt point, concerneth the persons be­tween whom the Contract is made, in whom there is required two properties: meetnesse for mariage, and freedome or libertie to marry one another. Touching the first, those especially are fit and meete to marrie, whom God doth call to that honourable estate, and commaundeth them to vse it as his lawfull meanes, appointed and sanctified for procreation: for so it appea­reth by the first institution, wherein God gaue the woman to the man to bee an helper meet for him, as in other things, so especially in this: whom he blessed, Gen. 2.20.22. and 1.28. saying: Bring foorth fruite and multiplie, &c. And that wee may know [Page 129] more particularly what sort of persons they be, the holy Ghost describeth them to bee such, as to whom the gift of continencie is denied, yet the gift of procreation is vouchsafed and gran­ted. For if mariage (as the Apostle saith, He­brewes. 13. vers. 4.) bee honorable among all sorts of persons, 1. Cor. 7.8.9. then amongst those that bee strong. Againe, it is written: I say to the vnma­ried, and to widowes, it is good for them if they a­bide euen as I doe: but if they cannot abstaine, let them marrie: for it is better to marrie, then to burne. In which words wee may plainly see, that hee pointeth out, as with his finger, those that are called and commaunded by God to marrie: namely, such as haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and continencie, which cal­ling and cōmandement is so much the straigh­ter, and the more to be regarded and followed, because the Apostle gaue it to those persons that were molested, and pressed with many and grieuous persecutions (a season of all other most vnfit for any to marrie in.) In as much, as beside the ordinarie incommodities of mariage estate, it cannot but bring with it many ex­traordinarie grieuances and troubles. Not­withstanding, if such persons bee called and commaunded then to marrie, when as there was most grieuous persecutions, much more in the time of peace and prosperitie. By this then wee see, that all persons which haue not [Page 130] receiued the gift of abstinence, but of procrea­tion, are called and commanded to marrie, and therefore meete for mariage, and also may law­fully enter a contract of the same.

But are none else meete for mariage? Wee answere, that no other is called, commaunded, or warranted by God, to make contract with any of these meet ones, because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage. As for children vnder age, they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate, and therefore debarred by Gods commaunde­ment, from making any promise or contract: if they haue, it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance, worthie great punishment, and also to bee broken, if that being come to yeares of discretion, and state of mariage, they doe not by wisedome and religion, supply all that was wanting in their former rash attēpt, to the full cōtentation of al that haue interest in them. As for those that haue receiued the gift of continencie, they are called and counselled to chastitie, during the whole time of that gift: for so saith our Sauiour Christ ( All men cannot receiue this thing, saue they to whom it is giuen, Matth. 19.12.) And againe, he that is able to re­ceiue this, let him receiue it. So the Apostle saith, It is good for them if they abide euen as I doe, 1. Cor. 7.7. Againe, Art thou loosed from a wife, seeke not a wife: So likewise are those [Page 131] that are borne chaste, or made chaste by men, or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen. But you will say, what if any of these doe make a contract, and marrie? We answere first if they bee vtterly vnfit for marriage with one that is meete, their contract is of no validitie, and may bee broken by superiour authoritie: 1. Cor. 7.27. but if they both bee fit for marriage, wee say with the A­postle, Art thou loosed from a wife, seeke not a wife? but if thou takest a wife, thou sinnest not: and if a virgin marrie, she sinneth not, &c. Last of all, as consanguinitie and affinitie doe re­straine and binde from this former contract and mariage: so likewise doe naturall frigiditie and coldnes, infancie, incurable diseases, that depriue men of all fitnes for the vse of mariage. So as if any such, by fraud, ignorance, or any o­ther sinister means be contracted it is nothing, and the parties may be lawfully separated, be­cause they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord, but against the Lord. And here when wee say, meete and free to marrie one with an other, there would bee a wise and holie regard had of the qualitie in yeares, of agreement in religion, of similitude in nature, and ma­ners in outward estate, condition and quali­tie of person, and such like necessarie cir­cumstances. For what is more vnmeete, then for an olde person to promise to bee con­tracted to a young one? for an Infidell to [Page 132] contract with a beleeuer? for a good nature and well mannered, with a crooked and fro­ward person? for a Prince with a begger? For although all these doe not annihilate and make voide the contract altogether, yet such con­tracts cannot bee in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to haue taught, touching the fitnes of mariage.

Now concerning the freedome and libertie, it is cleere, that those alone haue libertie and freedome to contract, who haue liberty to mar­rie. Now if we will know who those be, they are diuersly described and noted in Leuit 18. where certaine degrees, aswell in affinitie, as in consanguinitie, are expresly forbidden: so that if such parties shall contract themselues toge­ther, their contract is vaine, and a meere nulli­tie, such as ought to bee broken and punished. Againe, euery one either betrothed or married, is bounden and tied from contracting with any other: for that were nothing else but to pro­mise grosse and beastly adulterie. And the A­postle teacheth, that the wife is bound by the law, as long as her husband liueth, so likewise is the betrothed wife: insomuch, as if any of these shall contract themselues with another, it is a meere nullitie, and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance, and ought vpon knowledge thereof, to be broken and punished. And thus wee see what maner of persons the Lord hath [Page 133] called and commaunded to marrie, and who they be that are meete and free to marrie toge­ther, and who not.

The last point, is the consent and allowance of their Parents; which though it be very mate­riall and necessarie, yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true contract. For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children, being neither meete nor free to be maried together, it were nothing, and such a contract, though warranted by parents con­sent, ought to bee broken by the parties them­selues: and the Magistrate, and both parents and children punished. For this cause we haue not sayd simply and allowed, but allowed so to doe, because that consent of parents to such children as are meete and fit to bee maried to­gether, doth not only make that contract good, true, and inuiolable: which wanting their con­sents, though in other respects neuer so good, is a meere nullitie, and cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institu­tion, and guilt of adulterie.

Now by Parents, we vnderstand not onelie the naturall Parents, but such as by the law of nature and of GOD, supply their places: as Grandfathers, great Grandfathers, Aunts, great Vncles and Aunts, Brethren, Sisters, Kinsmen, and Kinswomen, Magistrates, and those to whose families the parties doe especially be­long. [Page 134] For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of Parents. Neither may wee exempt out of this number, Gardians, Masters, and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any, is lawfully committed. For if such bee commanded to prouide for them, as parties of their owne families; there is no reason why they should not especially bee respected, aswell in bestowing them abroad out of their familie, as they were in taking them into it: for if their cō ­sent bee necessarie at their comming in, why should they goe out without their consent?

Further wee say, their parents, and not his, or her parents, because parēts on both sides, ought necessarily to consent & allow their childrē to betroth themselues. For this is the priuiledge, not of some parents, but of all, and in that they be parents. Moreouer we say, allowed, and not required, neither commaunded, nor yet exhor­ted or inducted so to doe: because that albeit the parents doe neither call their children to this contract, neither commaund them, neither require them, neither exhort them (all which notwithstanding they ought to doe) yet if they doe but onely allow them, and giue their bare consent that they shall contract them­selues; it is enough for the tying of the knot, and the substance of the contract. And to prooue that this contract is necessarie, we need no moe reasons, then that which the Apostle setteth [Page 135] downe, saying of the father: 1. Cor. 7.30. Let him doe what he will: by which words, hee putteth it in the will and power of his parents, whether to mar­rie, or not to marrie: saying, in doing either of the twaine, he sinneth not. Yet it is written in another place: Exod. 22.16.17 If her father refuse to giue her to him, he shall pay money according to the dow­rie of virgins. In which words, the Lord doth giue an absolute authoritie to the father, to yeeld, or not to yeeld his consent, to giue, or not to giue his daughter: for if hee haue power to deny it to his daughter, that is deflowred, and so by the Apostles iudgement, made one flesh with another; much more lawfully may he de­nie his consent to her that is no maner of way bound, but is euery way free. 1. Cor. 6.16. And if hee haue power to denie his consent in such a case, much more hath he power to giue his consent.

Now his authoritie and power to denie his consent, is apparant by the expresse comman­dement of God in that behalfe, which sayth: Take heede to thy selfe, Exod. 34.16. that thou make no com­pact with the inhabitants of the land, and so take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes, &c. More plaine: Neither shalt thou make maria­ges with them, Deut. 7.3. neither giue thy daughter vnto his son, nor take his daughter to thy son. How could those parents obserue this commaunde­ment, vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children? Or why doth he [Page 136] rather forbidde this to the parents; then to the children, but to shew that the power to giue, or not to giue, was in the parents, and not in the children: especially considering that children being the principall partes of their parents goods, are no lesse in their power and authori­tie to giue and bestow, then the rest are. This was so well knowne in the Church, and so vsu­ally practised among the people of God, that the greatest among them, who might seeme to haue greatest libertie in that behalfe, yet they durst not disobey this holie commandement of GOD. Iudg. 15. For Sampson, the strongest of all, though he loued a maide of the Philistines, yet he durst not betroth himselfe vnto her, before he had intreated his parents to giue her vnto him. Dauid a mightie valiant prince, begged Micholl at the hands of Saul her father, and af­ter his death being betrothed vnto him, he desi­red her of Ishbosheth her brother. Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues. 2. Sam. 3.14. Gen. 29.18. &c And Abraham the father of the faithfull, by his seruant, intreated Rebeccaes parents, to giue her to wife to his sonne Isaack. All which testimonies and ex­amples, doe plainly proue, the greatest interest, power, and authoritie, that parents haue in be­stowing their children, and that their consent needed to the sixe former points, whereof wee haue spoken, doth make so sure a Contract, as cannot be loosed and vntied, by any authoritie [Page 137] vnder heauen. For here in this that saying of Christ, (Matth. 19.6.) is trulie verified: Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together. But if this, or any of the former bee o­mitted, the Contract may bee broken and disa­nulled. And least wee should bee ignorant, or forget what those errours are, which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract, these they bee. 1 First, if there bee onely a naked shew of a promise, and yet no promise indeede. Second­ly, 2 if any other thing bee promised then mari­age. 3 Thirdly, if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced. 4 Fourthly, if one of the parties alone doe promise, and not both. 5 Fiftly, if it were made between other creatures, or other persons, or betweene moe then one man and one woman. 6 Sixtly, if the persons con­tracted, or either of them, bee altogether vnfit for mariage. 7 Seuenthly, if either of them be for­merly betrothed, or haue committed adulterie after the contract, or be alied, or a kin, or for a­ny other cause not at libertie to marrie. Eight­ly, 8 if there lacke the consent of the parents. If all or any of these bee vndoubtedly knowne, and cleerely proued, they doe ioyntly and seuerallie frustrate or nullifie the Contract, so as the Ma­gistrate may lawfully dissolue the same, and set the parties at libertie. But contrarily, if all these concurre and accord, the contract is as inuio­lable as mariage it selfe: neither can the par­ties [Page 138] bee set at libertie by themselues, or by any power whatsoeuer, because this contract, and euery parcell thereof is in the Lord. It being a sacred ordinance of God, as it cannot but haue speciall vse and fruite among his Saints: so now it is time to declare and teach the same.

1 First therefore, it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headines of carnall, naturall, and brutish lust: for if this contract be holily and dutifully kept, according to the for­mer doctrine, it would neuer come to passe, that any person, man or woman, should abuse their bodies suddenly, or hastily vpon euery in­stigation of lust, like brute beasts, but would willingly in all modestie and sobrietie, take sufficient time of deliberation, for the making and accomplishing of this necessarie and holie contract, which is ordained to this ende, that men might haue sufficient time of deliberation, to learne all the vses and abuses; all commodi­ties and incommodities; all comforts and dis­comforts, with all duties & breaches of duties, that can fall into the honourable estate of ma­riage.

2 Secondly, it serueth to discouer betimes, and in good season, all sorts of impediments & lets, that may or ought to hinder the mariage that is promised. Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Ma­trimony [Page 139] thrice on three seueral daies, to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might bee remedied, then after mariage accomplished, when it is remedilesse.

3 Thirdly, it serueth for the keeping and pre­seruation of honest chastitie, seeing by this meanes, not onely former promises and con­tracts, but also fornications (if any haue been) and adulteries, may bee descried and discerned. For after Ioseph was contracted before they were married, she was found to be with childe; (though without ill demeanour on her part) yet it made Joseph so afraid, that he had intended in his heart priuatly to relinquish and forsake her, and had so done indeede, vnlesse Gods Angell had commanded the contrarie. Neuerthelesse, it was the Contract that discouered this trueth, & so preserued Maries virginity, that the scrip­ture might bee fulfilled, which saith: A virgin shall conceiue, &c. If this were not, men might vpon knowledge or ignorāce, make two seue­rall contracts with seuerall persons, and com­mit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues, either betrothed or married, and so lose their honestie and chastitie, to their great infa­mie & hinderance. Last of all, it serueth to con­demne and auoide all priuate contracts, and secret mariages, and contrarily, to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of mariage, aswell in the beginning, as in the end thereof, that all [Page 140] things touching the same might bee begunne, continued and finished in the Lord, according to his commandement, that his promised bles­sings might ensue vpon it accordingly.

This being done, the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God, as they will answere at the day of iudgement, plainly to be­wray and declare, if they know any of the fore­said impediments in themselues, or in their chil­dren▪ for which this Contract ought not to bee made. If they say, they know none, or if they declare none, then the consent of the parents is to be demaunded: which if they yeeld, then the consent of the parties is also to bee required. And so the parties are to be betrothed and affi­anced in these words, or such like.

The same is to bee done by the woman, the name onely changed, and all in the presence of the parents, kinsfolkes and friends. After this, the parents are to bee admonished, to set and appoint the day of mariage neither too neere, [Page 141] nor too farre off, but to appoint a competent space of time, that it may bee sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments, whereby promised mariage might bee hinde­red, and yet giue no occasion, by reason of the length thereof, to prouoke the parties to incon­tinencie. In the meane time, the parties affian­ced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of mariage, and to behaue themselues wise­ly, chastly, louingly, and soberly, till the day ap­pointed doe come. And so with a Psalme and prayer, to conclude the holy action.

1. Because there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to housekeeping, be­tweene that time, and the celebrating of mari­ages: but this is not a chiefe cause.

2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts and men, and betwixt the prophane and his chil­dren. For they euen as beasts, doe after a beast-like maner, being led by a naturall instinct and motion, fall together: but God will haue this difference, whereby his children should bee se­uered from that brutish manner, in that they should haue a certaine distance of time be­tweene the knitting of affection, and enioying one of another, and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another.

3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie, and the du­ties [Page 142] of mariage: for many enter thereinto, not considering at all of the great duties belong­ing to them in the same, nor thinke of the trou­bles and afflictions that follow mariage. But the Lord would haue these things thought on, and a consideration to be had, both of the cau­ses of mariage, and the duties to be performed, and the troubles to be vndergone. A good and carefull householder so ordereth and frameth his household, so as it may manifestly appeare, that it is indeede the house of a faithfull Chri­stian, and that he himselfe is as a pastour ouer his familie, that hee instructeth it diligently in the feare of GOD, and keepeth it in good and godly discipline, by continuall exercise in god­lines. So that in his house, you shall finde the chaste wife, the shamefaced, plaine and modest wife, decked without, as she is within; no pain­ted nor masked thing, rendring true obedience to her husband, and hauing a carefull eye vp­on her familie, seruants, her children: the ma­ster, father, and husband: the children and seruants, euerie one likewise in his degree, imploying himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office, approouing his dooings as before God.

Froward wic­ked qualities of the minde. 1. Cor. 5.10.11. and 6.9.Now, like as in the minde there are such ver­tues, as wee haue before spoken of: so are there in it also noysome wicked vices and detracti­ons, as vngodlinesse, despising of Gods word, [Page 143] vnbeleefe, idolatrie, superstition, ignorance, Gal. 5.19, 20, 21. 1. Tim. 3.2, 3, 4, 5. churlishnesse, lying, falsehood, hypocrisie, vn­righteousnesse, swearing, backbyting, mistem­perance, drunkennes, gluttonie, couetousnesse, vnchastitie, vnshamefastnesse, misnourture, rashnesse, furiousnesse, wantonnesse, pride, pre­sumption, vaine-glorie, chiding, brawling, and vnhandsomnesse. Who so now chooseth him a wife, or shee a husband, that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices, hee seeketh not a spouse, or shee a husband, for a right, peaceable, good, honest, and christian life; but an hell, a painfulnesse, and destruction of all ex­pedient, quiet, and vertuous liuing: but spe­cially, there is little good to bee hoped for of him or her, whereas vngodlinesse and con­tempt of the word remaineth. For like as the feare of GOD draweth the whole garland of vertues with it: so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods worde, bring all vice and abomina­tions: yea, and shutteth vp the way to amend­ment. When these points and rules are du­lie and warilie obserued on either part, they may ioyne together, and say as Laban and Bethuel said: This commeth of the Lord, there­fore we will not speake against it. Oh how hap­pie are those, in whom faith, loue and godli­nesse are married together, before they marrie themselues? For none of these martiall, car­nall, and clowdie, and whining marriages can [Page 144] say, that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to their bridall, and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse, doe flie from them.

2. The riches of the bodie.2. After the riches of the minde, doe the ri­ches of the bodie follow next, as is a comelie, beautifull, or well fauoured bodie, health, a conuenient age, Beautie. &c. A beautifull bodie is such one, as is of right forme and shape, meete, and of strength to beare children, and to keepe and gouerne an house, euen such one as both the man and woman can finde in their hearts vn­fainedly to loue aboue all other, and to be con­tent withall, &c. As concerning the beautie or comelines of the bodie (where there is else no good propertie or qualitie beside) Salomon saith, Pro. 31.30. Fauour is deceitful, and beau­tie is vanitie: but the woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. And Prou. 11.22. As a Jewell of golde in a swines snoute; so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion: or is of vn­comely behauiour, and hath not wit nor go­uernment to behaue her selfe. For beautie is a fraile gift and a slipperous, and more profitable to those that behold it, then to those that haue it: for the beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie, but a little as it were in a glasse, & yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw: and yet it is many times both to her selfe, and to them that behold her beautie, a prouocation to much euill. She that is [Page 145] faire, waxeth proud of it, and he that doth be­hold her, becommeth subiect vnto filthie loue, but in the minde (which is iudged to bee the man) doth consist the true lineaments and pro­perties of fairenesse, the which intice and pro­uoke spirituall and heauenly loue, being mixt with nothing that is shamefull, either to bee done or spoken: and therefore, there is no man so farre without witte, that had not rather haue her which is foule and hard fauoured, but yet is honest and vertuous, then to haue her which is faire and vnhonest, and also irreligious.

Happie, and twice happie is that man and that woman, that are coupled in marriage, with a godly and vertuous mate & bedfellow, they are doubtlesse greatly blessed of God. For House and riches are the inheritance of the fa­thers, Pro. 11.22. and 19.14. but a prudent wife commeth of the Lord They therefore are not well in their wits, but greatly deceiue themselues, that make choise of wiues, or husbands, hauing regard onely to their stature, comelinesse of personage, or to their beautie, and esteeme not more the riches of the minde.

Health also must bee considered in their choise; least otherwise great inconuenience come thereby, and least the whole house be poi­soned and infected. But we speake here of con­tagious sicknesses, and not of such common infirmities & vsuall diseases, that both men and [Page 146] women are subiect vnto. As of madnesse, fren­zie, french pocks, or such like: which euery wise man and woman, doth vtterly detest.

Neuerthelesse, where any married parties are now togither, and be visited with any such dis­eases, they must one comfort and suffer with the other, as they that are in one bodie, &c.

Riches of tem­porall sub­stance.To haue the goods of temporall substance, is to bee borne of noble parentes, or to come of worshipfull stocke, to haue landes, liuings, ri­ches, great offices, gaines, or occupyings, and such like. But the chiefest nobilitie, and most worthie of commendation, is indeed to be no­ble in vertues, in good works, maners, and cō ­ditions. But to be borne of gentilitie, and to vse and behaue himselfe vngently, is euē as much, as to shame himselfe and his kindred.

Such therefore, as purpose to marrie, ought carefully to foresee and looke to this matter, least being too greedie of honour, worship or wealth, intending to haue the golde, and cat­ching the hotte coales, doe burne themselues without recouery: Chuse a wife for vertue only Pro. 19.14. for a man may buy gold too deare (as we vsually say.) For temporal goods sake, the matter miscarieth, and is in daunger.

There is sometime great riches, but with little honestie, and lesse good conscience is it gathe­red togither. And with the same riches, will not continue alwayes, prosperitie, peace and quiet­nesse. Many so trust to their wealth, as that they [Page 147] will not frame themselues to any lawfull cal­ling, neither will they learne any: therefore also can they do nothing to profit either their coun­trie, or the common wealth, but liue idly, dain­tily, and with pride, ryot, excesse, and disho­nestie, doe quickly waste that, which hath bin long in gathering togither. Now, when there is alway taking from the heape, and nothing laide thereto, it wasteth away in processe of time, how great soeuer it hath beene. Then fol­loweth pouertie: yea, an intollerable, and vn­patient pouertie. For they that now lauish and spend prodigally altogither, haue had no ne­cessity hitherto, but flowed in all wealth: there­fore, after such a sunne-shine, there commeth euer an extreame heate, and thenceforth be­ginne they to warme themselues at the bare leaues: and to spare, when all is spent.

Such then, as in their choise, looke to the mul­titude of goods, and regard not how they were gotten, and whence they came, haue customa­bly such smoky hattes set vpon their heads, that all the water in the riuer, cannot wash away the corruption thereof. For goods without God, honestie, and good conscience, is a deadly poi­son, and the bodily diuell himselfe: Yea, goods and riches in the hand of an vndiscreete and ig­norant man, is as a sharpe knife, in the hand of a childe, that doth no good therewith, but wound & hurt himselfe. Wherefore euery man [Page 148] and euery woman in their election, ought to haue more respect to vertue, godlinesse, discre­tion and knowledge, then to riches. Moreouer, an hand that is occupied, and winneth, and get­teth his liuing godly, christianly, and honestly, doth far excell any riches that are won. For al­though the world esteeme thē happy, which liue in wealth & ease, & idlenes: yet the holy Ghost approueth & alloweth thē best, that liue of the meane profite of their labors. Psalm. 128.1.2.

Seeke no match in mar­riage aboue thy degree.And this also, is a very necessary point to be obserued, that the man chuse such a woman, and the woman such a man, as that there be e­qualitie betwixt them both, in blood & estate.

For by how much the greater and straighter the coniunction is of the husband & the wife; so much the more ought euery one prouide to be indifferently matched: Equalitie in marriage to be respected. and truely this equa­litie of marriage, is in two speciall things to be considered: to wit, estate, and age. For as two horses, or two oxen, of vnequall stature, cannot be coupled vnder one selfe same yoake, so a no­ble woman, matching with a man of base e­state, or contrarily, a Gentleman with a beg­ger, cannot bee consorted and well matched vnder the bands of wedlocke. But yet when it hapneth, that a man marrieth a woman of so high a birth, he ought (not forgetting that he is her husband) more to honour and esteeme of her, then of his equall, or of one of meaner pa­rentage [Page 149] and not only to account her his com­panion in loue, & in his life, (but in diuers acti­ons of publike apparance) hold her his superi­our. Which honor, is not yet accompanied with reuerence, as is that, which for manners sake, we are wont to do to others. And she ought to consider, that no distinction or difference of birth and nobilitie can be so great, but that the league, which both Gods ordinance & nature, hath ordained betwixt men and women, farre exceedeth it: for by nature woman was made mans subiect. But if a man shall take to wife an inferiour or meane woman, he also ought to weigh, that Matrimonie maketh equall many differences: and further, that he hath not taken her for a slaue or seruaunt, but for a fellow and companion of his life. Of the choise of a wife. And seeing that electi­on or choise, is nothing else, but to take a thing meete and conuenient to the end it is prepared for, therefore euery one that must chuse, ought to regard the ende, and to know what thing is conuenient for it. So that it is needefull, that he be wise and discreet, or else hee cannot dis­pose it, nor perceiue what thing is conuenient for it. Therefore, if a man would aduisedly consider, that he is to liue with his wife conti­nually, and she with him, he would then be ve­ry circumspect in the choise of her, which choise, maketh either very much for his felici­tie and comforte, or else for his great miserie [Page 150] and discomfort. For by how much the more a thing is vnited and knit vnto man, so much the more it may helpe him, if it be good, or hinder him if it be euill. Those dammages and hurtes (which are inwardly in the bodie) are worse then those which are without the bodie: and those of the soule, then those of the bodie: and likewise men doe iudge of those things which are called good.

But peraduenture it may seeme vnto some, th [...]t these things are not vniuersally true, for vn­to some, the losse of their goods is more then the losse of their health. But this thing doth not arise or happen of the goods or money it se [...]fe, but because some man doth perswade vnto himselfe, that to loose his goods, is a thing in­tollerable, and therefore the goods are not of more estimation, then is life or health: but it is mans affection that doth rule in this thing.

And therefore it seemeth lesse to some, to be driuen out of his kingdome then to other some to loose a smal portion of his possessions. Some will reuenge a word most cruelly, and some o­ther well beaten and buffeted, will not reuenge it at all. All these things doe proceed and come of the soule, the which is most inwardly ioy­ned & knit vnto man, which hath more power in him then the bodie, yea, then man himselfe; if it be then of so great importance, what ma­ner of friend thou haue to liue commodiously, [Page 151] or incommodiously withall, the which shall none otherwise dwell nor be in the selfe same chamber, bedde nor house with thee, but that thou mayest shake him off at thy pleasure: how much more oughtest thou to take heede, when thou chusest thee a wife, the which must bee continually conuersant with thee, at thy table, in thy chamber, in bed, in thy secrets, and final­ly, in thy heart and breast? If thou goe from home, thou doest commit thy house, thy fami­lie, thy goods, and thy children (of all other thinges the most pleasant) vnto her: shee is the last that leaueth thee at thy departing, and the first that receiueth thee at thy returning: thou departest from her with sweete imbracements and kisses, and with sweete kisses and imbrace­ments she receiueth thee at thy returne home: vnto her thou disclosest thy ioy & heauines. So that it is an heauenly life to be conuersant, and in the company with those that a man deligh­teth in and loueth. But it is a calamitie infernal, to be bound and forced to see those things that a man doth greatly hate & abhorre, or to be in company with those that a man would not be withall, and yet cannot bee separated nor de­part from them. Hereof cōmeth, as we doe see in some mariages, so great ruines, so wicked and vile deeds, as maimes, & murders commit­ted by such desperate persons, as are loth to keepe, and yet cannot lawfully refuse, nor [Page 152] leaue them: Therefore young folkes ought not to be too rash and hastie in their choise, but to haue the good aduise and direction of their pa­rents and trustie friendes in this behalfe, who haue better iudgement, and are mote free from the motions of all affections, then they are. And they must take heede, least following the light and corrupt iudgement of their owne af­fections and mindes, they change not a short delectation and pleasure, into a continuall sor­row and repentance. For wee doe learne, by great and continuall vse and experience of thinges, that the secret contractes made be­tweene those that be young doe seldome pros­per, whereas contrariwise, those marriages that are made and stablished by the aduise of wise and religious parents, doe prosper well.

But specially and before all thinges, such as purpose to marrie, must faithfully with feruent­nesse, and stedfast beleefe, (without ceasing) make their intercession and prayer vnto God, A good wife is aboue all things to be craued of God by prayer. to whom all hearts are open and knowne, that hee would not suffer them to goe amisse, but (as a tender father) helpe and direct them to make a right choise, so as they may liue honest­ly and prosperously, as good christians ought, to his glorie, and their owne comfort. For this purpose, there is a notable example of Elea­zar, Abraham's seruant, who being sent to get and make choise of a wife for Isaac his masters [Page 153] sonne, beginneth his matter with prayer: Gen. 24.12. &c. So did Isaac also, as appeareth in the same Chapter, verse 63. When any haue determined with themselues to marrie, and haue vsed all diligence thereto required, rhey must desire of God by humble and earnest prayer, good and prosperous successe, in whose hand and power it is to giue it, and doubtlesse he will effect it, if they aboue all other thinges, shall haue an vndoubted hope and confidence in him. For if they, after that they haue settled themselues, and haue satisfied their appetites, shall then resort vnto God by prayer, desiring him that they may obtaine the thing that they most desire, so it would appeare, that they would make him the Minister of their volup­tuous desires and pleasures, and so doing, their vowes and prayers should become most mani­fest blasphemie. And therefore a man should not come vnto marriage, as vnto a prophane thing, with a loose and vnprepared minde, but with a quiet & wel purged minde, as to a thing most sacred & holy. For Matrimonie doth not consist onely in the coniunction of the bodie, neither yet in dauncing, nor banquetting (pro­ceeding and brought vnto vs, with many other things from the Gentiles) but it should rather beseeme christians, most studiously to pray vn­to God, that so weighty a thing as matrimony is, might haue good and prosperous successe. [Page 154] For Matrimony is a thing sanctified of God, Heb. 13.4. the which willeth the matrimoniall imbrace­ments to be chast, the bed to be vndefiled, and their progeny vnspotted: & it is after y ^e mind of S. Paul, Ephes. 5.25.26, 27. a signe of the great mystery, wherewith Christ doth indissolubly vnite himselfe vnto his Church. Therefore thou oughtest, so much as shall lie in thee, to lift vp thy mind, and to re­member how great and worthy an image thou doest represent, and that thy wife shall be vnto thee, as the Church, and thou vnto her as Christ: therfore thou shouldest shew thy selfe vnto her, as Christ shewed himselfe vnto his church. The loue of Christ vnto his church is incredible, and thy loue also to thy wife ought to be most effe­ctuall, Societie, and to liue togither, is the most surest and strongest knot, to knit & ioyne ami­tie & loue among men, & al other beasts. There can be no greater societie or companie, then is between a man & his wife: whose house, whose goods, whose chamber, &c. is common, their children are common, & they themselues par­takers of all good & euill successe, of prosperi­ty and aduersity: the which societie and fellow­ship, were sufficient to stir & prouoke him that loueth not his wife, to loue and beneuolence. And what company or loue shall a man looke to haue of him that loueth not his wife? There are, that in loue and amitie looke for gaine, as the vile Epicures do, vnworthy to be beloued, [Page 155] men which loue themselues, & not their friends. And if we haue a regard vnto commoditie and profit, there is nothing that giueth so much as doth a good wife, no not horses, oxen, seruants or farmers: for a mans wife is the fellowe and comforter of all cares and thoughts, and doth more faithfull and true seruice vnto him, then either maid-seruant or man-seruant, the which doe serue men for feare, or else for wages: but thy wife will be ledde onely by loue, and there­fore shee doth euery thing better then all other. And this doth God declare, saying: Let vs make Adam a helper like vnto himselfe: By the Helper, is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice, and by the similitude and likenesse, is signified loue. For a seruant and hee that is hi­red, are farre vnlike the master, and are taken well nigh for no men. A seruaunt in the stead and place of an horse, or of an oxe, the which must bee beaten and inforced to their worke, doth serue his master. A hired seruant, is in the place of an hired horse, for whē the hire is paid, the societie & fellowship dissolueth. The child is part of the father, and through a naturall pi­tie, they loue each other: but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband. The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children, but the childten seldome labour or take paynes for their fathers, and often­times are sent to inhabite and dwell in other [Page 156] mens houses, whereby in a manner it appea­reth, that their straight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake. But the wife cleane con­trary, doth continually take paines for her hus­band, who may neither (as long as she liueth) change house nor bed. If commoditie and pro­fit be looked for, no commoditie excelleth this: if thou shalt loue thy wife, thou shalt liue most pleasantly, if not, thy life will be most misera­ble & wretched. For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter, as to hate the thing that doth fa­uour and loue thee, nor nothing more happy, as to loue him that hateth thee. Therefore loue, that thou mayest be loued.

Now we will in few words shew the occasi­ons of wedlocke, why and wherefore it was ordeyned, and for what purpose it should bee contracted, that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they con­sent, when eyther of them graunteth to marrie the other.

Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be, but that marriage, which was ordeined of such an ex­cellent author, as of GOD himselfe, & in such a worthy place, as Paradise; and of such an aun­cient time, as in the state of Adams and Eues innocencie, and after such a notable order, but that it must likewise haue speciall causes, for the ordinance of it. Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefely three causes thereof. [Page 157] The first is, the procreation, begetting, Three causes of marriage. & brin­ging vp of children: Gen. 1.27, 28. & 9.1. For in the children do the parents liue, (after a sort) euen after death.

And, if they be well and vertuously brought vp, God is greatly honoured by them, the com­mon wealth is aduanced: yea, their parents and all other fare the better for them. For they are their parents comfort next vnto God: their ioy, staffe, and vpholding of their age: and there­fore Parents ought to beginne betimes, to plant vertue in their childrens breastes: for late so­wing, bringeth a late, or neuer, an apt haruest: young branches will bow as a man will haue them: But olde trees will sooner breake then bow, &c. But more of this shall be said after, in the dutie of parents.

Although mariage be a holy and sanctified ordinance, yet none may vse the benefite of it, Psal. 51.5. without some acknowledgement of originall sinne, in that adulterie and whoredome are wrought by this meanes: albeit this is not im­puted to the children of God, who vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be, and so long as the husband and wife do keepe them­selues togither in the feare of God, and in all modestie and sobrietie.

If then in mariage it selfe, there is such mis­chiefes, what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes, which are not sanctified without these [Page 158] considerations? So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate, neither are husbandes to turne their wiues into whores, or wiues their husbands into whoremasters, by immoderate, intemperate, or excessiue lust.

Many thinke they cannot sinne in this be­halfe, if they passe not their owne wiues: but they may make their marriage polluted & de­filed, if they vse it without prayer and sober­nesse: &c. 1. Thess 4.4.5.

Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife, when it is with her, as it is common to women: &c. Ezechiel 18.6. Leuiticus 18.19.24.27.29. and 29.18. This was one of the sinnes, for which the Lord roo­ted out the Cananites out of their land.

The 1. cause.The second occasion why Marriage was or­deined, was, that the wife might bee a lawfull remedie to auoid whoredome, Wedlocke lawfull for such as haue not the gift of chastitie. fornication, and all filthie vncleane lusts. 1. Cor. 7.2.3. &c. Tou­ching this point, I will say no more: for it is handled at large by others alreadie, and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it.

The 3, cause.The third and last cause was, for mans com­moditie, to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse, that the one may helpe & com­fort the other, Gen. 2.18. in sicknesse, in affliction, and in all household cares, and troubles, as education of children, and keeping the familie in order. For this cause, olde men and olde women [Page 159] may lawfully marrie. So that a wife is called by GOD himselfe, an Helper, Rom. 7.23. 1. Cor. 7.8, 9, 39. 1. Tim. 5.14. and not an im­pediment, or a necessarie euill, as some vnad­uisedly doe say. And as other some say: It is better to burie a wife, then to marrie one. A­gaine, if wee could be without women, wee should bee without great troubles.

These and such like sayings, This is often found most true: that such as are contem­ners of mari­age, are most offenders a­gainst marri­age, and liue most vn­chastly. tending to the dispraise of women, some maliciously and vn­discreetly, doe vomit out, contrary to the mind of the holy Ghost, who saith, that she was or­deined as a Helper, and not a hinderer. And if they bee otherwise, it is for the most parte, through the fault, and want of discretion, and lacke of good gouernment in the husband. For married folkes, for two eyes, haue foure: and for two hands as many moe: which being ioy­ned togither, they may the more easily dis­patch their handy busines, & houshold affaires.

For like as a man hauing one hande or one foote, if by any meanes hee get himselfe an o­ther, may thereby the more easily lay holde on what he listeth, or goe whither he will: euen so, hee that hath married a wife, shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures, and profitable cōmodities of this present life. For in trouble, the one is a comfort to the other: in aduersitie, the one a refreshing vnto the other: yea, and in all their life, the one is a helpe and succour to the other.

Most true it is, that women are as men are, reasonable creatures, and haue flexible wittes, both to good and euill, the which with vse, dis­cretion, and good counsell, may be altered and turned. And although there be some euill and lewde women, yet that doth no more prooue the malice of their nature, then of men, and therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they, that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill: and haue not with like furie, vituperated and dispraised all mankind, because part of them are theeues, murtherers, and such like wicked liuers.

But the marriage and company of the hus­band and wife, is made amiable, sweete, and comfortable, by these fiue meanes: by godli­nesse, vertue, mutuall forbearing, mutuall loue, and by dutifulnesse performed busily and god­ly on both sides.

1. Godlinesse of right, holdeth the chiefe place. For there is no stable & steadfast friend­ship, vnlesse it haue his beginning from God: and therefore must godlinesse needes shine be­fore the rest. For when couples haue determi­ned to obey God, all things afterward become more easie.

2. Vertue and honest conditions, breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife. For when vertue is exercised, it maketh conuersati­on of liuing more amiable.

[Page 161]3. Mutuall forbearing, whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions & faults, is very needfull. For in this weaknesse of na­ture there happen many scapes, which will breede strife, if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing.

4. Mutuall loue, hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue, maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe sighted in spy­ing into one anothers faults: but that many things either they marke not, or if they marke them, they couer them with loue. For Loue co­uereth the multitude of sinnes. 1. Pet. 4.8. Prou. 10.12.

5. Dutie performed godlily, carefully, and cheerfully on both sides, maketh the mariage-yoke light and sweete. For when man and wife marke one another, and finde like heedfulnesse and buxamnes in their dutie; both their com­panie is made more pleasant, and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutiful­nes, that the one may requite the other alike. Where these fiue duties bee not, the companie of their life is both lothsome and bitter, or ra­ther more sharpe then death. Therefore the godly couples must doe their endeuour, that these vertues may be seene in their life continu­ally for euer.

Now wee will (through God his assistance) say something concerning the three seuerall [Page 162] points contained in this dutie, and mentioned in the beginning hereof, and so end this dutie.

1. The first whereof is, That the husband must liue with his wife according to know­ledge. This point of doctrine is most plainlie proued by the Apostle Peter, where he saith: Ye husbands dwell with your wiues, 1. Pet. 3.7. as mē of know­ledge, giuing honour vnto the woman, as vnto the weaker vessell, By honor is meant, that the Husband ought to su­staine and re­lieue the wants of his wife, to support, vp­h [...]ld, and beare with her infir­mities, as the weaker vessell. euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not interrupted. Whereby hee teacheth the husband his dutie, to wit, that the more vnder­standing and wisedome God hath indued him with, the more wisely and circumspectly hee ought to behaue himselfe, in bearing those dis­commodities, which through his wiues weake­nes, oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other. Neuerthelesse, though she be by nature weaker then he, yet she is an ex­cellent instrument for him, made to farre more excellent vses: whereupon it followeth, tha [...] she is not therefore to bee neglected because shee is weake, but on the contrarie part, shee ought to be so much the more cared for. Like as a vessell the weaker it is, the more it is to bee fauoured and spared, if we will haue it to conti­nue: euen so a wife, because of her infirmities, is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband. 1. Pet. 3.7. And for so much as the husband and wife are equall, in that which is [Page 163] the chiefest, that is to say, if that gracious and free benefit, whereby they haue euerlasting life giuen them, which otherwise are vnequall, as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home, and therefore she is not to bee despised, although she be weake. And besides, Besides the praiers had with their fa­milie, they must pray pri­uately. Gene. 25.21. 1. Cor. 7.3, 4, 5 all brau­lings and chidings must be eschued and cast a­way because they hinder praiers, and the whole seruice of God, whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally called.

Also for more c [...]onfirmation of this point, the Apostle Paule likewise sayth: Let the hus­band giue vnto the wife due beneuolence, and likewise also the wife vnto the husband: The wife hath not power of her owne bodie, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne bodie, but the wife. Defraude not one another, except it bee with consent for a time, that yee may giue your selues to fasting and prayer, and againe come together, that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie. VVhich is, as if the Apostle should say, The parties married, must with singular affection, entirelie loue one the o­ther, for that they are each in others power, as touching the bodie: so that they may not defraud one another, except the one abstaine from the other by mutuall consent that they may the better giue themselues to prayer: wherein notwithstanding, they must consider [Page 164] what is expedient, least by this long breaking off, as it were from mariage, they be stirred vp to incontinencie.

The second point, which is, that the husband should not bee bitter, fierce, or cruell vnto his wife: which point is prooued by the sayd A­postle, Collos. 3.19. Anger in a husband is a vice. saying: Husbands loue your wiues, and bee not bitter vnto them. First and aboue all things, the husband must bee circumspect to keepe the band of loue, and beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternes betwixt him and his wife. If at any time there happen to arise any cause of vnkindnes betwixt them, The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out with the spade of patience. (as it is vnpossible alwaies to bee free from it) then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie, gentlenes and patience, and ne­uer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in dis­pleasure. How & when the husband ought to re­proue. Ephes. 4.26. And if he shall haue oc­casion to speake sharply, and sometimes to re­proue, he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of other: but let him keepe hi [...] words vntill a conuenient time, (which is the point of a wise man) and then vtter them in the spirit of meeknesse, and in the spirit of per­fect loue, and he must not let sometimes to co­uer faults, Faults some­times must be couered with loue. and winke at them, if they be not too great and intollerable. Whatsoeuer losse or mischance shall happen vnto him, let him take it patiently, and beare it cheerfully: yea, though the same should come partly through his wiues [Page 165] negligence, yet let it rather bee a louing war­ning to take better heed in time to come, then a cause of sorrow for that which is past, and can not be holpen.

Euery wise man by his owne experience knoweth, Not to take vnkindenesse for euery trifle. that he is in this life subiect to manie inconueniences, and that of nature he is prone to displeasure, and readie to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle, & specially with his best friends; yea soonest with his louing wife, who is lothest to displease him. Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption, and consider that hee ought most of all, in loue to beare with his wife, according to Christs example towards his Church, who gaue himselfe for it, that he might sanctifie it, Fphes. 5.25, 26, 27, 28, 29. and clense it by the washing of water through the word: That he might make it vn­to himselfe a glorious Church, not hauing spot or wrinckle, or any such thing: but that it should be holy and without blame: So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies: hee that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe. For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord doth the Church. As if the Apostle had said: The husband is to the wife in Gods stead. The husbands dutie is, to loue their wiues as themselues, of which loue, the loue of Christ toward his Church is a liuely paterne. And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues, to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie, the Apostle [Page 166] willeth them, to marke what maner of Church Christ gaue, when he ioyned it to himselfe, and how he doth not onely not lothe all her filth and vncleannesse, but ceaseth not to wipe the same away with his cleannesse; vntill he haue wholly purged it, and made it holy. And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe, euen or nature: therefore (saith the Apostle) the husband shall striue against nature, if hee loue not his wife: which hee proueth, first by the mysticall knit­ting of Christ and the Church togither, and then by the ordinance of God, who saith that the husband and wife are one: that is, not to be di­uided.

Husbands may not be ri­gorous to­wards their wiues, especial­ly when they be new mar­ried. Prou. 20.3.The husband is alwaies to remember, that hee bee not fierce, rigorous, hastie, nor disor­dered with his wife: for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence, and the husband to haue patience, otherwise it shall rather bee the dwelling of fooles, then the house of friends▪ For where the husband wanteth wisedome t [...] gouerne, and the wife patience to suffer, they shalbe forced (it is to be feared) in continuance of time, to part house, or else euery day to bee iarring and brauling.

The Wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a Handmaide or seruan [...], [...] as a fellow. Pro. 8.7. and 14 9. and 15.5. and 18.2. & 27.22. Pro. 9.1, 9. and 19.25. Genes. 16.6.Euery married man ought also to remember this, that either his wife is wise and religious, or else she is foolish and irreligious. If he be mat­ched with a wife that is sottish, foolish, and ig­norant [Page 167] of God and his word, it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her: and if he be married to one that is wise and religious, and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word, then one sharpe and discreet word is sufficient: be­cause that if a woman be not corrected, by that which is wisely and discreetly sayd, she will ne­uer amend by that which is threatned. VVhen the wife shall be inflamed with ire, wrath, ma­lice, or enuie, the husband ought to suffer her, and after the heate is somewhat cooled, and the flame quenched, then mildly to admonish her: for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband, then it is likelie that there will often follow braulings and qua­rels betwixt them. And as the husband ought at all times to shun braulings and quarellings with his wife, so much more he ought to auoide the same, when they shall bee newly married. For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him, then late or neuer will [...]e returne to loue him faithfully. Therefore at the beginning of their mariage, the wise and discreet husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him: for if then their loue be fixed and truly set­led one toward the other, The falling out of louers, is the renew­ing of loue. although afterwards they come to some household words and grud­gings, yet it proceedeth but of some new vn­kindnes, & not of old rooted hatred, & therfore [Page 168] the sooner remedied. For loue and hatred bee mortall enemies, and the first of them that ta­keth place in the heart, there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the daies of life: in such wise, that the first loue may depart from the person, but yet neuer forgotten at the heart. But if the wife from the beginning of mariage, doe take the heart to lothe and abhorre her hus­band, then a miserable life will follow to them both. For although the husband shall haue po­wer to his wife, to feare and obey him, yet hee shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him.

Some husbands doe boast themselues to be serued, feared, and obeyed in their houses, be­cause the wife that abhorreth, doth feare and serue her husband: but she that indeede liketh, doth loue him and cherish him. As the wife ought with great care to endeuour by all good meanes, to labour to bee in fauour and grace with her husband: so likewise the husban [...] ought to feare to bee in disgrace and disliking with his wife: for if she doe once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another, then many inconueniences will ensue and fol­low.

The husband ought not to bee satisfied that he hath robd his wife of her virginitie, but in that he hath possession and vse of her will: for it sufficeth not that they be married, but that they [Page 169] be well ma [...]ried, and liue christianly together, and very well contented. And therfore the hus­band that is not beloued of his wife, holdeth his goods in danger, his house in suspition, his cre­dit in ballance, and also sometime his life in pe­rill, because it is easie to beleeue that she desi­reth not long life vnto her husband, with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome. And if any vnkindnes or displeasure should, happen to be at any time, betwixt the husband and his wife, yet neither of them ought to impart, or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neigh­bours: for if they bee such as wish them euill, they will reioyce at it: and if they bee such as wish them well, then they minister matter whereof to talke.

That husband that is matched and doth en­counter with a wife that is a dizard, a foole, That man is miserable that is married vn­to a foolish woman. a babler, light of behauiour, a glutton, a chider, slothfull, a gadder abroad, vntractable, iealous, or dissolute, &c. it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man, then a husband to such a wife.

The best rule that a man may hold and pra­ctise with his wife, to guard and gouerne her, is to admonish her often, and to giue her good instructions, to reprehend her seldome, neuer to lay violent hands on her: but if she be good and dutifull, to fauour her, to the end she may continue so: and if she be shrewish and way­ward, [Page 170] mildly to suffer her, to the ende that shee waxe not worse. But some husbands bee of so sowre a nature, and so vnpleasant in their beha­uiour, that they can hardly bee loued, no not of their wiues; their countenance is so lowring, their companie so currish, that they seeme an­grie euen when they bee best pleased: they can not speake faire, scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them: a man would say, they were borne in an angrie houre.

Husbands must prouide things neces­sarie for the house. A mans house will continue by prouision before hand, and by order in his expen­ces. Rom. 12.17. 1. Tim. 5.8. But where dis­order is in a house, it can­not endure.This is also a dutie not to bee forgotten, namely, that husbands be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses, to clothe their wiues decently, to bring vp their children vertuously, and to pay their seruants dulie: be­cause that in voluntarie matters men may bee negligent, but the necessities of their house doe neither suffer negligence or forgetfulnes. The dutie of the husband is to get goods: and of the wife to gather them together, and saue them. The dutie of the husband is, to trauell abroad to seeke liuing: and the wiues dutie is to keep the house. The dutie of the husband is, to get mo­nie and prouision: and of the wiues, not vain­ly to spend it. The dutie of the husband is, to deale with many men: and of the wiues, to talk with few. The dutie of the husband is, to be en­termedling: and of the wife, to be solitarie and withdrawne. The dutie of the man is, to bee skilfull in talke: and of the wife, to boast of si­lence. [Page 171] The dutie of the husband is, to be a giuer: Spare in time and spend in time, for spa­ring is a rich purse. and of the wife, to bee a sauer The dutie of the man is, to apparell himselfe as he may: and of the woman, as it becommeth her. The dutie of the husband is, to be lord of all: and of the wife, to giue account of all. The dutie of the husband is, to dispatch all things without doore: and of the wife, to ouersee and giue order for all things within the house. Now, where the husband and wife performeth these duties in their house, we may call it a Colledge of quietnes: the house wherein these are neglected, wee may terme it a hell.

It is to bee noted, and noted againe, that as the prouision of household dependeth one­lie on the husband: The honor of the Husband, dependeth of the Wife. euen so the honour of all dependeth onely of the woman: in such sort, that there is no honour within the house, lon­ger then a mans wife is honourable. And there­fore the Apostle calleth the woman, 1. Cor. 11.7. The glo­rie of the man. But here it must be noted and [...]emembred, that wee doe not intitle honou­rable to such, as bee onely beautifull, comely of face, of gentilitie, of comely personage, and a good huswife: but onely, of her that is vertuous, honest of life, temperate, and aduised in her speech.

3. The last poynt is, that the husband loue, The third poynt. cherish, and nourish his wife, euen as his owne bodie, and as Christ loued his Church, and gaue [Page 172] himselfe for to sanctifie it. And this point is plainly proued by the Apostle Paul, as is suffi­ciently declared in the second point.

There are few husbands or wiues, that know in truth how they should loue one the other. If a man loue his wife onely for these respects, be­cause she is rich, beautifull, noble, or because she contenteth and pleaseth him, after the sen­suall appetite of the flesh, and for such like causes; that is no true loue before God; for such loue may be among harlots and whores, yea among brute beasts. Cant. 4 9.10. 1. Cor. 9.5. 1. Pet. 3.7. But a christian hus­band must loue his wife, chiefly because she is his sister in the profession of the sound and chri­stian religion, and so an inheritour with him of the kingdome of heauen. And he must also loue her for her vertues; as for her shamefastnesse, modestie, chastitie, diligence, patience, faith­fulnes, temperance, secrecie, obedience, & such like christian qualities and graces of God: yea, although she be but hard fauored, and of poor [...] parentage.

But as wee would that the man when he lo­ueth should remēber his maiestie, so we would that when he ruleth, he forget not his loue, nor to temper it with maiestie. And when he doth thinke himselfe to bee the head and the soule, and the woman (as it were) the flesh and the bodie, hee ought in like maner to remember, that she is his fellow and companion of his [Page 173] goods and labours, and that their children bee common betweene them, bone of bones, and flesh of the flesh of man. And thus there shall bee in wedlocke a certaine sweete and pleasant conuersation, without the which it is no mari­age, but a prison, a hatred, and a perpetuall tor­ment of the minde. So that the husband must let his wife perceiue and know, that for the good opinion that he hath of her, he doth loue her simply, and faithfully, and not for any vtili­tie or pleasure. For who so doth not perceiue, that he is beloued for his owne sake, will not lightly doe the same to another: for the thing that is loued, loueth againe.

If mony or nobilitie could perceiue and vn­derstand that they were beloued, they would, if they had any feeling at all of loue, requite it with loue: but when the soule is loued, in as much as it may loue, it giueth loue for loue, and loueth againe. The breaker of horses, that doth [...]se to ride and to pace them, doth handle the rough and sturdie colt with all craft, rigour, and fiercenes that may be: but with the colt that is more tractable, he taketh not so great paine. A sharpe and shrewd wife must bee pleased and mitigated with loue, and ruled with maiestie: and the more gently thou doest vse and shew thy selfe vnto her that is meeke and honest, the more benigne and meeke thou shalt finde her. But she that is noble, and of a stout minde and [Page 174] stomacke, the lesse thou doest looke to bee ho­noured, the more she will obey and honour thee. But yet the wise husband shall neuer set himselfe so farre in loue, that he forget that he is a man, the ruler and gouernour of the house, and of his wife, and that he is set (as it were) in a Station to watch and diligently to take heede what is done in his house and to see who goeth out and in. 1. Cor. 11.3. Ephes. 5.23. For although the husband by Gods ordinance, bee the head ouer his wife, yet hee may not abuse or despise her, but must louing­ly defend and keepe her from all iniuries, and all euils, as his owne bodie. For like as the head seeth and heareth for the whole bodie, ruleth and guideth the bodie, and giueth it strength of life: or as Christ doth defend, teach and pre­serue his Church, and is the Sauiour, comfort, eye, heart, wisedome, and guide thereof: euen so must the husband bee head vnto his wife in like maner, to shew her like kindnes, and after the same fashion to guide her, and rule her wit [...] discretion, for her good and preseruation: and not with force and wilfulnesse to intreate her, but to bee her defender, instructor, teacher, and comfort. So that when the husband hath ob­tained, that his wife doth trulie and hartily loue him, there shall then need neither precepts, nor lawes: for loue shall teach her moe things, and more effectually, then all the precepts of all the Philosophers. Hee ought therefore to inde­uour [Page 175] and more force himself, that his wife may loue him, then that she may feare him. When his wife shall offend or displease him, hee may not hate her, or quarell with her, but patiently and mildly admonish her: Ephes. 5.18.29. For no man yet euer hated (saith the Apostle) his owne bodie, but cherisheth it, and maketh much of it. So then, he that loueth his wife, loueth himselfe: for there­by hee enioyeth peace and comfort, and helpe to himselfe in all his affaires: therefore in the same verse, Paul counselleth husbands to loue their wiues, as their bodies. And after in the 33. verse, as though it were too little to loue them as their bodies, hee sayth: Leuit. 10.10. Let euery one loue his wife as himselfe. that is, as his body and soule too. For if God commanded men to loue their neighbours as themselues, much more are they bound to loue their wiues as themselues, which are their next neighbours. 1. Sam. 1.8. As Elkanah did not loue his wife lesse for her barrennesse, [...]ut sayd: Am not I better vnto thee then ten sonnes? As though he fauoured her more, for that which she thought her selfe despised. So a good husband will not take occasion to loue his wife lesse for her infirmities, but comfort her more for them, as this man did, that shee may beare with his infirmities too. Gal. 6.2. And so the one to helpe to beare the others burthen, and so they shall the better fulfil the law of Christ. For as in a citie, there is nothing more vnequall, thē that [Page 176] euery man should bee like equall: so it is not conuenient, that in one house euery man shuld be like and equall together. There is no equa­lity in that citie, where the priuate man is equal with the Magistrate, the people with the Se­nate, or the seruants with the master, but rather a confusion of all offices and authoritie.

The husband and the wife are Lords of the house, Genes. 1.28. Genes. 2.18. vnto whom the Lord said: Be ye Lords ouer the fish of the sea, and ouer the fowle of the heauen, and ouer euery beast that moueth vpon the earth. And the selfe same Creator said, that the woman should bee a helpe vnto the man. Therefore the husband without any exception, is master ouer all the house, and hath as touch­ing his familie, more authoritie then a king in his kingdome. The wife is ruler of all other things, but yet vnder her husband. There are certaine things in the house, that onely doe ap­pertaine to the authoritie of the husband, wher­with it were a reproach for the wife, witho [...] the consent of her husband, to meddle withall: as to receiue strangers, or to marry their daugh­ter. But there are other things, in the which the husband giueth ouer his right vnto his wife: as to rule and gouerne her maidens: to see to those things that belong vnto the kitchin, and to hus­wiferie, and to their household stuffe: other meane things, as to buy and sell certaine neces­sarie things, may be ordered after the wit, wise­dome, [Page 177] and fidelitie of the woman. It cannot wel be rehearsed, how many vtilities and profites, the mutual concord and loue of man and wife, doth bring to great things, both at home and a­broade, nor how many losses and incommodi­ties, doo growe of the dissention and discorde betweene them. For the housholde, when their maister and their mistresse, or dame, are at de­bate, can no otherwise bee in quiet, and at rest, then a cittie, whose Rulers agree not; but when it seeth them in concord and quietnesse then it reioyceth, trusting that they wil be euen so vnto them, as it perceiueth then to be among them­selues: wherein surely, they are not deceiued, for if the man and his wife doo louingly and gently support and intreate one an other they learne not to disdaine: or for euerie light fault, to be angrie with their seruants, or yet for any household words, to bee vexed or angrie one with the other, but to set aside, all hastie and [...]ell words and correction, with all other thinges, that issue and proceed of a disdainfull and a furious mind. And the seruants are not onely merrie therefore, but also they doo their seruice the more obediently and cheerefully, shewing reuerence vnto the maiestie, that pro­ceedeth and increaseth of quietnesse and con­cord. For the husband doth defend his wiues maiestie, with loue and beneuolence: and the wife her husbands, with honour and obedience. [Page 178] So that vnitie and concord, causeth them to be esteemed wise, honest, and vertuous, and they must needs bee good, seeing they haue loued so long togither. But there can bee no long a­mitie or friendship, but betweene those that are good, the which doo suffer and deuoure vp those things, for the which other men leaue and forsake amitie, and breake off charitie. Nei­ther doth there growe of any other thing, so great reuerence and maiestie, as of the opinion and estimation of another mans goodnesse and wisedome, the which reuerence, is not one­ly honoured within the doores, but also shineth and extendeth it selfe into the cittie, so that he is taken for an honest man, and accounted to be louing and gentle, seeing that hee loueth his wife so constantly, and also he is reputed for a wise man, considering that he can so moderate­ly handle so difficult and hard matters, and he is reckoned worthie to rule a common wealth, that with such wisedome, discretion, and iudg [...] ­ment, doth rule and gouerne his owne house, and that he may easilie conserue and keepe his Citizens in peace and concord, that hath so wel established the same in his owne house and familie. And on the other side, none will thinke or beleeue, that he is able to be ruler, or to keep peace and quietnesse in the towne or Cittie, who cannot liue peaceably in his owne house, where hee is not onely a ruler, but a King, and [Page 179] Lord of all. And in matrimoniall debate and discord, the man is more to bee blamed, then is the woman, because that hee being the chiefe Ruler and head, doth not purge and remedie her of that vice, the which ingendred that dis­cord, or else patiently beare & suffer the same: for the blame of al discord, is commonly laid on him that is chiefe, because he would not mode­rate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife [...]nd discord, or else because he was not able to do it. In the first, there appeareth manifest ma­ [...]ice, in the second impatience & weaknesse, the which ought to be far frō him that is esteemed [...]o be most worthy, & appointed to rule & go­uerne others. And thus he cōmeth into hatred, [...]or as much as he hath left off to do his duty and [...]ffice, whē necessitie required it. That husband [...]hat loueth not his wife, after that he hath enioi­ [...]d her for a season, but doth wax feeble & cold, which is a thing most meet and conuenient for [...]hose that are kindled with bodily lust & leche­ [...]ie, who are very beasts, and no men, hauing no [...]easō, but are drawn to those deeds, through the [...]otion of their sences, the which after the heat [...]e a little past, will clean change their opinion. Also there are other occasions, The causes why the hus­band should loue his wife. that should mooue the husband to extend this loue to his wife, in case he be not duller then a stone. As for [...]at his wife hath suffered so great trauel and la­ [...]our, that she hath borne and brought him forth [Page 180] children, the heires of his name and substance, and the vpholders of his familie: and that shee hath forsaken her fathers goods and riches to follow him, and to suffer with him both good and euill: and that she setting her whole mind now vpon him, knoweth no other father, nor yet any of all her kinne. What one thing shall suffice, if these and others cannot do it? who so will then obey nature, humanitie and wise­dome, shall euery day loue his wife more and more. And the better he knoweth her, the more he will trust her, and so open and disclose his loue, and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue, and beneuolence, manifesting that to be borne and nourished, through the experi­ence of her vertue, and through hope to be con­tinued and kept, that in time to come she may be like her selfe, and striue to ouercome her­selfe with vertue. As the husband ought thus to loue his wife tenderly, so from her as from a fountaine, he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes, The husband must loue his wiues kins­folkes. to the end that they may well know and perceiue, how greatly the [...] cousin doth aide and helpe them, and that shee in like maner may vnderstand, that his bene­uolence and loue to her is such, that it redoun­deth among her frends and parents, and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home. And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsmen for her sake, how much more ought he then to loue her chil­dren [Page 181] that she in like case may loue his, if he haue any, and thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other, they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end. The duties themselues, which are ro bee per­formed of the husband and wife, are eyther per­taining to pietie and godlinesse, or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties them­selues for pietie and godlinesse.

1. The first common dutie is praier, that they pray together by thēselues: for as they are to pray with others in their families, for thinges which concerne their houshold: so there are certaine things, which belonging to themselues, are not to be mentioned in their families, but priuately: as namely, for a godly posteritie, and that in the birth, the children be comely, and not monstrous in comming foorth, like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them, or an occa­sion, that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell, &c. And further, they are to pray, that they may haue comfort by them, in their well carriage and good behauour: as likewise for their household, and for diuers other affaires, which they cannot so commodiously pray for, in their publike families. As Isaack and Rebec­ca, besides the praiers in their house, which they vsed with Abrahams familie, did also pray to­gether priuately: as in Genes. 25.21. it is saide: Isaack praied before his wife: for so the words [Page 182] signifie, that they might haue children.

2. A second dutie of pietie is, that they ad­monish one another, as the husband is to ad­monish the wife, so also to teach her, and the wife to admonish the husband, and in her place admonishing, bringing sufficient reason, is to be heard. For euen as the Maister is to counsell the seruant, and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant, as Naaman. 2. King. 5.13.14. heard his seruant, which counselled him to wash in Jorden, according to the saying of the Prophet. So in like maner, the husbands dutie is to counsell, and to admonish his wife yet so, as when he faileth in dutie, he is to heare her good counsell and admonition, either concerning heauenly matters, or earthlie affaires: shee not­withstanding considering her estate and condi­tion vnder him, and in humilitie confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell. 1. Pet. 3.7.

Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues, are: first, the holy familiaritie which ought to be betwixt man & wife: wher­by they haue a more familiar vsage one of ano­ther, and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another, then any other parties whatsoeuer: Genes. 26.8.9. in regard whereof Abime­lech King of Gerar (after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife, shee is my Sister) seeing Isa­ack playing and sporting with her familiar­ly, knowing that familiaritie which ought to [Page 183] bee betweene the husband and the wife, and knowing that Isaake was a godly religious man, and therefore would not vse that kinde of behauiour, to any other woman, saue to his wife, discerned thereby, and concluded certain­ly, that shee was his wife, howsoeuer hee hath denied it before. Noting, that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man, saue her husband, and contrary, the husband ought not vse this familiaritie with any other woman, which he doth with his wife. And ther­fore Pro. 5.19. we see that the wife should be to him, as the louing Hind: namely, delightful, and one in whom he may delight: that as the Hart delighteth in the Hind: so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband: and so in like man­ner, she ought to take delight in him.

2. Againe, there, is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues: to witte, that neare coniunction, euen in regard of their bodies, for an holy procreation of children; in respect whereof, the Apostle saith, 1. Cor. 7.4. the husband hath not power ouer his owne body, but the wife, &c. Onely when it is with the wife (as is com­mon to women Ezech. 18.6.) or that shee bee sicke of her disease, hee is not then to haue the vse of her body, &c.

Such as doo aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimonie, Duties com­mon both to the husband and the wife. are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God. And hauing [Page 184] attained to that estate, ought to vse the benefit of marriage, as an holy ordinance of God, in all godlinesse and puritie, 1. Cor. 7.2. for a remedy against the weaknesse of the flesh, and not for the prouoca­tion and lust to intemperancie.

True it is, that honestie of marriage groun­ded vpō Gods ordinance, doth couer y ^e shame of incontinencie: yet not so, as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate, by admitting all things, but that they should so vse it, as there might be no excesse in dissoluti­on, neyther any intemperancie contrary to the holinesse thereof, so that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse, is fornication.

Genes. 1.18.When God created the woman, he said: It is not good that man should bee alone, I will make him a helpe meet for him. But whatsoeuer is said of the woman, that she should be a helpe to the man, must also be put in practise, and excercised by the husband toward his wife, according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul, 1. Cor. 7 all. whether in auoyding fornication, whether in procuring generation, and the education and bringing vp of children, whether in maintay­ning a familie, or for the seruice of God, and sal­uation of soules.

Heereby it euidently appeareth, that the du­tie common both to the husband and wife, importeth, that the one should ayde and helpe the other.

First, that they may leade their liues in cha­stitie and holinesse. Next, to auoide fornication. So that the dutie of the husband and the wife, consisteth in this, that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse, and that they take great heed, and beware of breaking the bond, and infringing, and violating the faith of mar­riage, by fornication or adulterie, which is a de­testable sinne, in the sight both of GOD and man. If such as wanting the remedie of mar­riage, by committing fornication, doo incurre an offence worthie euerlasting damnation? What may those deserue, who hauing a reme­die for their infirmitie, doo neuerthelesse ouer­flow in adultrie? yet is it not ynough, onely to abstaine from this abhomination, vnlesse wee also forbeare from euerie thing, that may seeme to tend thereunto, or to containe any begin­ning, apparance, allurement, or occasion of euill. First, because, that by the law, all this is forbidden, euen in these expresse wordes: Exod. 20.14. Thou shalt not commit adultrie. For the word adul­trie, comprehendeth al prouocations, gestures, speeches: yea, euen vnchast lookes. And there­fore sayth Iesus Christ, Math. 5.18. He that looketh vpon an­other mans wife, to lust after her, hath alreadie committed adultrie with her in his heart. Next, that we may preuent all occasions of ielousie, a most daūgerous disease, & of great difficulty to cure. For where either the husband or the wife, [Page 186] is tainted with ielousie, they beleeue euery word that they heare spoken touching their passion, albeit it beare no apparance of trueth. And therefore christian husbands and wiues, must so beare themselues, that they incurre no suspition of euill. But rather they ought to practise this, as well to auoide occasion of offence, as for feare, least iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate.

The care and burthen to maintaine their fa­milie is common to them both: yet so, as pro­perly the husband is to get it, and to bring it in, and the wife to order and dispose it. Howbeit the dutie of the wife, or of the husband, doth not so exempt either of them, but that she also according to her ability and power, must helpe her husband to get it, and hee likewise in his discretion, direct her in the dispensation there­of. Exod. 20.14. Hee that doth not orderly gouern his house, shall inherit the winde (saith Solomon.) And or­der consisteth in this, that the husband follow his businesse, trafique, or calling, without any molestation of y ^e wife, who ought not to med­dle or controle him therein, but with great dis­cretion and gentelnesse, as also the husband is not to deale, but soberly and in great discretion with affaires, that are proper to the wife. The man is iealous of his authoritie and reputation, and the woman inclined to suspect her selfe to be despised. Wherefore, as the husband cannot [Page 187] well abide, that his wife shoud shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then him­selfe: so cannot the wife suffer, that her husband should despise and account her a foole, by med­ling with her small household affaires.

As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife, consisteth in looking to that which is a­foresaid, to the end their mariage may be quiet, and themselues liue together in loue: euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband, and a prodigall and slothfull wife, are two ready waies to destructi­on. The husband that hath such a wife, casteth his labours into a bottomlesse sacke: and the wife that is matched with such a husbād, draw­eth a Carte heauie loden, through a sandy way without a horse.

Such a husband, especially, if idlenesse drawe him to loue and haunt Ale-houses and tauernes, is cruel to his wife and children: and such a wife confoundeth her husband, & bringeth reproch and pouertie to her whole familie. The reme­die for the husband, that hath such a wife is pa­tience, with discreet admonition and praier to God: as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband, is tolleration, gentle exhortation, and chearfull and louing entertainment of her husband, whereby to induce him willingly to keepe home.

They are also to be mutual helpers, each to o­ther, in matters concerning their own saluation, [Page 188] and the seruice of God. First if one of them (as saith the Apostle) bee an vnbeleeuer, the other must labour to drawe his partie to the know­ledge of the trueth. Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife, of contrary religions, not to part, but to dwel together addeth a notable rea­son, saying: What knowest thou ô man, whether thou shalt saue thy wife: 1. Cor. 7.16. or thou ô woman, whe­ther thou shalt saue thy husband? Therein de­claring, that the faithfull person, in dutie is to la­bour and indeuour to winne his partie to the knowledge of the trueth, and so to saue her.

Saint Peter exhorteth wiues to bee subiect to their husbands, albeit vnbeleeuers, and such as not obey the word, that so without speech, By their holy and vertuous conuersation, 1. Pet. 3.1. they may winne them.

Secondly, if both be beleeuers, their dutie is, to confirme and strengthen each other, in the time of persecution, that they constantly follow Iesus Christ. They are also each to helpe and comfort other, if eyther of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne. They ought also each to perswade other to charitie, to relieue the poore, diligently to frequent sermons, to vse praiers and supplications, and praise and thanksgiuings to the Lorde, to comfort each other in the time of afflictions, to be short either to exhort other, to walke in the feare of God, and in all duties and exercises beseeming [Page 189] the children of God. 2. King. 4.10. In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus Hostesse exhort her hus­band to prepare a chamber for the P [...]ophet to lodge in. Saint Paul also saith, 1. Cor. 14.35. that women de­sirous to learne, should question with their husbands at home. Whereby he sheweth, that the husband ought to bee so instructed, as hee may be ready to instruct his wife at home. And therefore the husband (after the example of the Bee) should euerie where gather euerie good instruction, that he might bee able to impart it to his wife, and by hauing communication, ac­quaint her therewith.

There are other duties, which bee common both to the husband and the wife, as among the rest, such as proceed of the vnion and con­iunction of marriage, whereof it is said, They are one flesh: Genes. 2.24. Math. 19.5. And of this vnion, proceedeth the mutual loue betwixt them. For no man (saith the Apostle) hateth his owne flesh, but loueth and cherisheth it. Ephes. 5.15. Titus. 24. But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall loue, is the vnitie of marriage, wherby the husband and the wife, are made one flesh the husband as the head, the wife as the body.

It followeth, that this loue must be stedfast, not variable, and that the vnion of marriage continue, notwithstanding whatsoeuer befall, either the husband or the wife. Notwithstand­ing, whatsoeuer complexions (wee say) natures [Page 190] and infirmities may appeare, whatsoeuer sick­nesse, losse of goods, iniuries, griefes, or other inconueniences that may arise, yet so long as the foundation of loue, that is the vnion of mar­riage doth continue, so long must loue and af­fection remaine. Math. 5.44. God commandeth vs, to loue our neighbours as our selues, because they be of our flesh. Albeit therefore, that he contemne, hate, offend, or wrong vs: albeit he be our ene­mie, and in respect of himselfe, deserueth not that wee should loue him, yet because hee is of our flesh, the foundation of loue remaineth, we must loue him. How much rather ought they to put this in practise, who by the bond of marriage, are made one flesh? The rather, be­cause the vnion betweene man and wife, is without comparison more straight, & bindeth them each to loue other, much more then the coniunction, wehreby man is vnited vnto his neighbour,

But this is the mischiefe, that in many, their loue is not grounded vpon the vnion of mar­riage but vpon beautie, riches, and other car­nall and worldly considerations, subiect to change, alterarion and losse.

This corruption that respecteth beautie, is olde, and noted to bee among the causes of the flood. Genes. 6.2. The sonnes of God (saith Moses) see­ing the daughters of men were faire, lusted af­ter them, and tooke them in marriage. But in­deed, [Page 191] it is mony that maketh loue, and riches ingender affection, witnesse the experience of our daies. Yet such loue, resembleth onely a fire of straw, which is but a blaze, and is soone out, vnlesse it be continued with great wood, or other like substance. Loue growing of beautie, riches, lust, or any other like slight, vncertaine, and fraile groundes, is soone lost and vanished, vnlesse it be maintayned with the considerati­on of this vnion, of two in one flesh, and the vertues thereto adioyned: and therefore must euery man thinke vpon this vnion in marriage, that he may enioy, nourish, and continue the loue, that thereof proceedeth, the rather, because such loue is the nurse of concord, that maketh marriage happy. As contrariwise, the want of this loue, is the fountaine of strife, quarrelling, debate, and other like afflictions, that conuert the paradice of marriage into a hell. For dissen­tion betweene man and wife, is the trouble and ouerthrow of the household.

They that will auoide such strife, must ther­fore loue each other: and especially, they must haue care hereof, when they are first married: For a vessell made of two peeces, and glewed togither, may at the first bee easilie broken, but in time, groweth strong: so is it also with two persons, that are glewed or ioyned togither, by the bond of marriage.

This loue, the mother of peace, will ingen­der [Page 192] a care and dutie, each to support other, and so to practise the same, which Saint Paul re­quireth in all beleeuers: that is, To be gentle one to another, frendly, & each to forgiue other, euen as God hath forgiuen vs through Christ, Let the husband thinke, that he hath married a daughter of Adam, with all her infirmities: and likewise let the woman thinke, that she hath not maried an Angell, but a childe of Adam, with his cor­ruption. And so let them both resolue to beare that, that cannot be soone amended. Let not the body complaine of the head, albeit it haue but one eye: neither the head of the body, albeit it be crooked or mishapen. Such defaults, do neuer breake vnion and loue between the head and the body: neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife, infringe the loue that pro­ceedeth of the vnion and coniunction of mar­riage. If the husband bee giuen to brawling, or the wife to chiding, let them both beware of giuing any occasion.

The bell hath a loude sound, and therfore he that will not heare it, must beware how he pul­leth the rope and shake it: so if the one will be­gin to chide without a cause, let the other be ei­ther deafe and so not heare it, or dumbe, and so make no answere. So that where the hus­band is deafe, and the wife blinde, marriage is quiet and free from dissention. Whereby is meant, that the wife must winke at many [Page 193] infirmities of her husband, as if she saw them not, and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife, as if he heard them not. Neither can it be any reproch to the husband and wife, so stedfastly vnited, to practise this dutie, considering that Dauid protesteth, that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies: They that seeke after my life, lay snares, and they that goe about to doe me euill, Psal. 38.12. talke wicked things, and imagine deceit conti­nually: But I as a deafe man, heard not, and am as a dumbe man, which openeth not his mouth. Thus I am as a man that heareth not, and [...]n whose mouth are no reproofes.

This vnion betweene man and wife, doth al­so engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth, saying: Matth. 19.5. Ephes. 5.31. For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother; and cleaue to his wife. As also the wife in the like respect, is bound to the like dutie toward her husband. Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parentes, but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife, is greater, then betweene the children and the parentes. And indeede, the true loue of the husband to the wife, and of the wife to the husband, sur­mounteth all loue of children to their parents.

The husband and the wife, haue their secret counsels and communication of matters con­cerning their profit and commoditie. The wife [Page 194] is more obedient to her husband, and the hus­band more desirous to please his wife, then their parents: yea, and at length it falleth out, that they depart from their parentes, to keepe house by themselues. And this plainely appea­red in Lea and Rachell being sisters, Gen. 26. and the wiues of Iacob. For Iacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban, boldly made his moane to them.

Whereupon they also complaining of their father, agreed with Iacob, and consented to­gither, to leaue their father, and to follow their husband Iacob. Herein likewise consisteth an other dutie of the husband to the wife, and of the wife to the husband: namely, that they shew no greater secrecie or communication, of their household affaires to their parents, then mutu­ally each to other: and this rule is especially to be put in practise, when there groweth any dis­content betweene themselues. For if the hus­band shal complaine to his parents of his wife: or the wife of her husband, such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie, and conse­quently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife. But if it should grow to any complaint, it were requisite, so discreetly to prosecute the matter, as that the wife should come to her hus­bands parents, & the husband to the wifes pa­rents. So should all cause of iealousie cease, and the complaint procure most assured remedie.

This loue and agreement in marriage pro­duceth yet another dutie, common both to the husband and the wife. And that is, that they neuer seeke, neyther once thinke of diuorce. And to that ende, let them remember what is written: Mat. 19.6. That which God hath ioyned togi­ther, let no man put asunder. Likewise, that no­thing but Adulterie, may separate those that are vnited by marriage.

All other agreements and contracts, made by mutuall consent, may be broken and dissol­ued, by the like consent of both parties: but in the contract of marriage, Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse: yea, he receiueth the promise of both parties, as ioyning them in that estate.

And this doth Salomon note, Pro. 2.17. where hee ob­iecteth to the Harlot, that shee hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God. But Ma­lachie speaketh more plainly, and giueth a rea­son, why God punished such husbands, as lea­uing their lawfull wiues, tooke others: Mala. 2.14. Because (saith he) the Lord hath beene witnesse betweene thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast transgressed, yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy couenant. The promise therefore to God cannot be broken, but onely by his authoritie.

In the dayes of Moses, husbands were easily and soone intreated, to forsake their wiues, [Page 196] by giuing them a Bill of diuorce: yet so far was this course from being lawfull, that contrari­wise; Mat. 19.8. Iesus Christ saith: that it was tolerated onely in respect of the hardnesse of husbands hearts, who otherwise would haue vexed their wiues, and intreated them cruelly.

And this libell containing the cause of di­uorce, and putting away of the woman, did iu­stifie her, and condemne the man. For seeing it was neuer giuen in case of adulterie, Leuit. 20.10. Iohn 8.5. (which was punished with death) all other causes alled­ged in the libell, tended to iustifie the woman: and declare, that she was wrongfully diuorced, and so condemned the husband, as one that contraried the first institution of Marriage: whereto, Iesus Christ condemning this corrup­tion; doth returne them, saying: Jt was not so from the beginning: and therefore whosoeuer shall put away his wife, Mat. 19.8. except it bee for whore­dome, and marrieth another, committeth adul­terie: and whosoeuer marrieth her, which is di­uorced, doth commit adulterie with her. So straight is the bond of marriage.

Hereof it followeth, that notwithstanding, whatsoeuer difficulties that may arise between the husband and the wife▪ whether it be long, tedious, and incurable sicknesse of either par­tie: whether naturall and contrary humours, that breede debate, wrangling, or strife, about household affaires: whether it bee any vice, as [Page 197] the husband to bee a drunkard, or the wife a slouthfull, idle, or vnthriftie huswife: whether either partie forsake the trueth, and profession of religion, doe fall to idolatrie or heresie. Yet still the bond of marriage remaineth stedfast; and not to be dissolued. Neither may they bee separated, euen by their owne mutual consent. For as the holy Ghost hath pronounced: Mat. 19.6. That which God hath ioyned togither, let no man put asunder. And therefore S. Paul saith: 1. Cor. 7.12. If any brother hath a wife, that beleeueth not, if she be content to dwell with him, let him not forsake here & the woman, which hath a husband that beleeueth not, if he can be content to dwell with her, let her not forsake him. Also because some did suppose, that the vnbeleefe, in any of the parties, might breede some pollution or disqui­et in marriage: he answereth no: his reason is: For the vnbeleeuing husband, is sanctified by his beleeuing wife: and the vnbeleeuing wife, by her beleeuing husband. And this he proueth, by affirming, that the children issuing of such a marriage, be holy: that is to say, partakers of the couenant of God, and consequently accepted into the fellowship of the Church. Onely he ad­deth this exception: Jf the vnbeleeuing man de­part and forsake the beleeuing wife, shee is not subiect to follow him. And yet must this be vn­derstood, where such departure ariseth, eyther vpon hatred, that he beareth to the true religion [Page 198] that his wife professeth, or vpon a desire to vse his polluted and false religion. For herein can­not his wife follow him, without danger of de­fil [...] [...] [...]riuing of her selfe of the profession of the [...] [...]ogither with the food of her soule.

Li [...]se, where Saint Paul speaking of the husb [...]d and wife, 1. Cor. 7.11. both beleeuers, saith: If the woman depart from her husband, let her re­maine vnmarried, or bee reconciled to her hus­band. He therein meaneth not, that it shall be lawfull for the woman, because shee cannot beare the troublesome nature of her husband, or to auoide strife and debate, to depart and liue as a widdowe: but onely he sheweth, that when the husband vpon such like occasion, shall put away, or cast off his wife, yet is not she at her libertie to marrie another: but must remaine vnmarried, and labour to be reconci­led. And therefore are those women, which vpon the hard dealing, or troublesome disposi­tions of their husbands, do forsake them, great­ly to be reproued, as thereby giuing occasion of great mischiefe and trouble: as also are those husbands, who vpon like occasion, doe for­sake their wiues. For seeing nothing may make diuorce, but Adulterie, euery purpose and de­termination, to part vpon any other occasion or reason, is restrained by Gods ordinance, & the law of marriage. And for as much, as it is not lawfull for vs to continue in such separation, [Page 199] the whole course of our liues: neither is it law­full so to abide at all, eyther so much as to enter thereinto.

If therefore vpon such occasion, the hus­band forsake his wife, or the wife her hus­band, rather then to continue the mischiefe be­gunne, let them returne togither againe; and thinke, that the shortest follies doe least hurt.

Obiection. If they alledge their intreatie, in their opini­on, intolerable, and their nature so contrary, that they cannot liue without strife and debate. Also, that beeing asunder, and quiet in consci­ence, free from trouble, they may the better applie themselues, and imploy their time in praier.

Answere. The answere is, that such infirmities must not dissolue, or breake the bond of marriage, and their duties to liue togither: but let them thinke that God hath called them to the exer­cise of patience, which vpon heartie prayer be graunted to them.

Let them labour, each to beare with other, that they may liue in peace, and continually pray to GOD, to giue them grace so to doe.

Let them remember, that the diuell transfor­meth himselfe into an Angell of light, when by propounding a dutie to liue in quiet, and consequently a meane to pray vnto God, for the compassing thereof, hee induceth them to gaine-say Gods prohibition, and also [Page 200] to seperate that, which God hath ioyned togi­ther. For as the coniunction commeth of God, so the separation and diuorce proceedeth from the diuell.

If they reply, that by liuing asunder; so that they marrie not againe, they breake not the bond of marriage: let them remember, that marriage being ordained for a remedie against fornication, for the generation ad bringing vp of children, and also for a helpe each to other, in mutuall societie, and inseparable conuersa­tion of life: yet doth there appeare no token or effect of marriage, in those that liue asunder, albeit they marrie not againe. So that the bene­fite of marriage, consisteth not only in the pro­creation of children, but also in the natural so­cietie of the two diuers sexes. Otherwise it could not be said, that there were any marriage betweene two old folkes.

This vnion of marriage, yet teacheth vs a­nother duetie, common both to the man and to the wife. Which is, that their goods bee com­mon betweene them. That a common wealth may in some sort bee said to bee happie, where they haue no vse of these words: Mine, and thine. But in marriage especially, they ought not to be heard. If the wife haue brought most goods in marriage the marriage once consum­mate and made, her part is gone, and they are gone, and they are made common: as also are [Page 201] the debts, whether hers, or her husbands. And therefore can neither of them say: This is mine, but this is ours. When a woman hath brought great goods, yet may shee not say: I will doe with mine owne what I list: for she her selfe, is not her owne, but her husbandes.

The husband, as the head and chiefe guide of the familie, must haue the custodie & chiefe gouernement of the goods in the house: yet may he discharge himselfe of the whole, or of part, as himselfe shall thinke meet and conue­nient: yet let him remember, that hee intreat her not as a seruant, by giuing her money, as it were in mistrust, or with condition to returne him a particular account. For the husbandes mistrust, doth many times prouoke the wo­man: and the wiues vaine expence, breedeth mistrust in the husband: but the faithfull and discreet employment, and good vsage of the wife, and her husbands confidence in her, will procure, that as the goods be common to both, so each alike shall vndertake the custodie and employment of the same.

Hereunto, for a conclusion of this point, we will yet adde two dueties, common both to the husband and the wife. The first, that they day­ly pray to God to giue them grace, to liue to­gither in peace and loue, and that each may be a helpe to others saluation. Let all such as de­sire to enioy such a felicitie, vnderstand, that [Page 202] they must dayly pray to God for the obtaining thereof. And let those that liue in strife and de­bate, examine themselues, whether they haue no cause to impute their miserable estate, to their neglect of this dutie. The second, consi­steth in the practise of the same: which Saint Paul teacheth, saying: Let those that be marri­ed, 1. Cor. 7.29. be as if they were not married. But how? By so enioying the commoditie, and conten­tation of marriage, that the benefite of their coniunction, breed no diuorce betweene God and them: likewise, that thereby they bee not hindered, or made slacke in any dutie toward God and their neighbours: as also that no affli­ction depending or proceeding of marriage, withdraw them, or force them to resolue of any thing cōtrary to the vnion of marriage, & their christian profession, that they bee the children of God.

The particular dueties of the husband to­ward the wife, are: first to protect her, to haue regard and care ouer her, &c. Ruth 3.9. Se­condly, that hee vnfainedly loue her, out of which fountaine, springeth this dutie, that hee must beare with her infirmities, and not by and by, to enter into bitternesse and wrath: Co­los. 1. Pet. 3.7. 3.16. To the same end S. Peter exhorting husbands to behaue themselues discreetly, and with knowledge and wisedome toward their wiues, her requireth of them 2 things: First, that [Page 203] they neuer say nor do any thing, that may iustly offend their wiues: as some there be, who be­ing prodigall, great spenders, or idle and slacke in their businesse, do cause their wiues and chil­dren to languish in pouertie.

Others, who haunting Tauernes, Alehou­ses, and Gaming, doe consume and waste that, which should maintaine their familie.

Others, who cōming home drunke, doe beat and vexe their wiues, and as it were, driue them into dispaire: Others, who by vile & bitter spee­ches, by threatnings, & other vnchristian acti­ons, vnworthy a husband, doe prouoke their wiues, and so stirre vp such strife and debate, as do conuert the cōfort of marriage into an hell.

Seeing therefore, that the husband is head, he ought in such wisedome, reason, and discre­tion to beare himselfe, that he giue his wife no iust occasion of offence or prouocation: yea, he must remember, that if the head be drunke, the whole body is in danger of weake gouern­ment, euen of lying in the myre.

Secondly, that albeit the wife should mini­ster iust cause of griefe and displeasure, yet that the husband should not thereof take occa­sion against his wifes infirmities, or enter into bitternesse, tauntes, or disquietnesse: but dis­creetly, and patiently beare with her, that so they might quietly and louingly liue togi­ther.

The hurt or weaknesse of any one member of the bodie, prouoketh not the head to wrath or bitternesse: but rather to compassion, and an inclination to helpe it. And indeed, where­as God hauing created woman the weaker vessell, as Saint Peter noteth, did so ioyne her to man, it was not to the end, that hee striuing with so fraile a vessel, should bruise and breake it: but that by gentle and discreet intreating, he should quietly enioy the helpe, that God hath giuen him.

Let him therefore, after the counsell of Saint Peter, 1. Pet. 3.7. Gen 3.18. so respect her, as one, who albeit she be weake, is neuerthelesse a profitable vessell for him. Moreouer, let him loue and honour her as one, whom notwithstanding the frailtie of her sexe, God hath so honoured, and Jesus Christ so loued, that being togither with man, redeemed with his blood, shee is togither with her hus­band, coheite of life euerlasting.

A christall Glasse, is a precious and profitable vessell, yet brittle: so is the married woman. For albeit she be brittle, yet is she profitable to her husband, and precious in the sight of God, as a child of God, and member of Christ. As therefore a man doth more carefully take heed of breaking such a glasse, then some earthen or tinne vessell, the one being more base, and the other more strong: so likewise should the hus­band haue such regard of the frailetie of his [Page 205] wife, that hee may beare with her, and intreate her with gentlenesse and discretion: that hee may vse her, as a precious and profitable vessel, to his comfort & ioy. And in as much, as pray­er is an excellent seruice, that God requireth of vs, and the ready meanes to purchase his bles­sings, let the husband discreetly beare with his wife, least otherwise through their strife and contention, their prayers (as S. Peter saith) might be letted and interrupted. 1. Pet. 3.7.

Yet must we not say, but the husband, both may, and ought to tell his wife of her infirmi­mities, that she may amend. But here we are to enter into consideration of sundrie points. First hee is especially to reproue her offences against God: As when Rachell said vnto Iacob: Gen. 30.1. Giue me children or else I die. Hee reproued her of importunitie, saying: Am I in Gods stead, who hath withholden from thee, the fruite of thy wombe? Also when Iobs wife saide to her hus­band: Doest thou abide in thy integritie? Iob. 2.9. Curse God and die. He wisely reproued such a wicked speech saying: Thou speakest as an vnwise wo­man. What? shall we receiue good at the hand of God, and not receiue euill? Secondly, that it be with gentlenesse and testimony of good will: as Helcana dealt with his wife Hanna, 1, Sam. 1. when she mourned because she had no children. And in­deede it is meet, that the husband should re­proue his wife louingly, rather by perswasion, [Page 206] then by force. For as in a great stormie winde, a man lappeth his cloake about him, and hol­deth it fast for feare of loosing, but when the wind is downe, and the weather calme, he let­teth it hang easily: so, when husbands will (as it were) perforce, wrest away their wiues infirmities, many of them will obstinatly re­sist, yet contrariwise, by sweet words, and lo­uing exhortations, they might bee wonne, vo­luntarily to forsake them.

Thirdly, the husband must seeke diligently to remoue the occasion and stone, whereat his wife stumbleth, and taketh occasion of griefe. So when Sarah was moued against Abra­ham, Gen. 16. because of Agar, and obiected vnto him, albeit wrongfully, that hee was the cause, that shee contemned her: bearing with his wife, hee remoued the cause of the contenti­on, in suffering her to turne Agar out of doores.

He must also take heed, that he himselfe bee not tainted with the same vice, which hee re­proueth in his wife, least shee stop his mouth, with the reproach of the same fault: but rather by giuing her example by the contrary vertue: let her be induced and led to follow him. In re­prouing the wife, the husband must alwayes vse such discretion, that shee be not brought into contempt: and therefore it should neuer bee done in the presence of moe then them­selues. For as it is meere folly for a husband to [Page 207] praise and commend his wife in company: so is it as dangerous, to checke and reproue her before witnesse. For indeed thereof it com­meth, that women, not being able to beare that disgrace, will replie, and so prouoke strife, and dissention in open presence, which wil re­dound to great reproch & offence. And there­fore, as the husband must not flatter his wife, so hee must not reproue her before strangers.

A wise husband, and one that seeketh to liue in quiet with his wife, must obserue these three rules. Often to admonish: Seldome to reproue: And neuer to smite her.

Let the husband also remember, that the in­firmities of his wife, must bee eyther taken a­way or borne withall. So that he, that can take them quite away, maketh his wife farre more commodious and fit for his purpose: and hee that can beare with them, maketh himselfe bet­ter, and more vertuous.

The husband is also to vnderstand, that as God created the woman, not of the head, and so equall in authoritie with her husband: so also he created her not of Adams foote, that shee should be troden downe and despised, but hee tooke her out of the rib, that she might walke ioyntly with him, vnder the conduct and go­uernment of her head.

And in that respect, the husband is not to commaund his wife, in manner, as the Master [Page 208] his seruant, but as the soule doth the bodie, as being conioyned in like affection & good will. For as the soule in gouerning the bodie, tendeth to the benefite and commoditie of the same: so ought the dominion and commandement of the husband ouer his wife, to tende to reioyce and content her.

To conclude: As God hath testified his sin­gular goodnesse vnto man, in creating him an helper to assist him: so let him consider, in how many sorts she is to him a helper, to passe ouer this life in blessednesse. And let this dayly see­king of such a benefite receiued at the hands of God, induce and stirre him vp to render thanks, and to dispose himselfe to vse it well, to his owne comfort and saluation: and not to abuse it, to the destruction both of himselfe and his wife. But if he chaunceth (as many doe) vpon troubles, and afflictions in marriage, let him remember, that the same doe proceede, not properly from marriage, but from the corrup­tions of the parties married: and for his parte, let him studie to amende his infirmities and faults, by amendment of life: and withall, pray to God to graunt the like grace vnto his wife, to the ende, that the more they recouer the I­mage of God, the more feeling they may haue of the felicitie of Marriage: which Adam and Eue had enioyed, had they continued, as they were created, in the Image of God. [Page 209] And the particular duties of the wife to the hus­band, are principally these: first, that she bee a helper vnto him, &c. Secondly, that she bee o­bedient vnto him, &c. These foure speciall du­ties are partly touched before, and partly after­wards.

As loue matrimoniall is greatly allowed of God, and much commended of all good men, as an ordinate, holie, and godly loue: so contra­riwise, hatred, dissentiō, strife, debate, vnquiet­nes and frowardnes in mariage, highly displea­seth God, and much grieueth al good and god­ly men. And therefore the deuill, the enemie of all vnitie, concord and agreement, laboureth by all meanes he can, (especially at the first com­ming of the maried folkes to dwell together) to sow dissention, discord, and to cause them not to agree, but to dislike one of the other; against whom they must diligently watch, by feruent and earnest prayer to God, that the diuell pre­uaile not against them, by such too early disa­greement. For as two boords at the first, if they be not well coupled and ioyned together, they neuer are fastned right afterward: but if the first coupling and ioyning together bee good, then can there afterward no violence driue the boords asunder: yea, the whole boord doth soo­ner breake, then the glewing of them together: euen so the husband and wife must bee verie carefull and diligent, that their first cohabita­tion [Page 210] & dwelling togither, The best pol­licie in marri­age, is to begin well. belouing, delectable, and friendly; and not separated through anie spightfull contention or discord: so shall the whole estate of their mariage be more comfor­table, and prosper the better as long as they shal liue. And though there happen to arise any sparke of discorde betwixt them, yet let them beware, that at the least there bee not too much displeasure, disdaine, and inconuenience kind­led thereby. For if at their first dwelling toge­ther, there shall fall out such vntowardnesse, and vncomely discorde, then will it now and then bee breaking out: euen as it fareth with great wounds, and broken legges or armes, which seldome are so throughly healed, but sometimes they haue paine at the change of the weather. So likewise, if married folkes behaue themselues thus vntowardly and vnhonestlie the one towards the other at the first, and if iars and discord be once begun betweene them, the old canker of hatred will breed againe, though it bee scaled afterward. Let the one therefore learne betime to be acquainted with the nature and conditions of the other, and to apply them­selues according to the same, in as much as they must needes dwell together, one to enioy ano­ther, and the one to liue and dye with the o­ther, and so stedfastly and vnfainedly to loue one the other, that neither of them haue anie thing so deare, which they cannot bee content [Page 211] to giue and bestow one vpon the other: yea, euen their owne life, if need require. And there­fore husbands and wiues must euen at the be­ginning of their marriage giue their diligence, that all iniuries and offences may be auoyded: for tender and soft loue is soone dissolued and broken. So that this new loue and coniunction of the minde, must be nourished with benigne, sweet, & gentle conuersation, vntill it be so in­creased & fastned, that no great storme be able to dissolue or breake it. And all suspition must be at all times, but specially at the beginning of matrimonie, eschued and shunned, least they should first begin to hate, or euer they begin to loue: yea, and they must beware they doe not faine any suspition, nor conceiue it of any light occasions and coniectures: for vnto such they in no wise must giue eare, although there were some shew and great apparance of likelihood. And this will bee a good meanes to effect and worke this: namely, if they accustome them­selues to speake kindly, louingly, and cheerfullie one to the other. For as the ancient Counsellors of king Salomon gaue wise aduise and counsell vnto Rehoboam king of Israel, 1. King. 12.7, 8. &c. to the end that hee might win the loue and good liking of the people: Speake kindly vnto them (said they) and they will serue thee for euer after: which coun­sell not being followed, great inconuenience and mischiefe after befell vnto him, &c. Euen [Page 212] so likewise, if the husband bee desirous to pro­cure the loue of his wife, and to winne her to God: or if the wife be desirous, and would also procure the loue of her husband, and win him to God; then they must draw on one another with sweet and gentle words of loue, speaking kindly one to another: Iudg. 19.3. Prou. 15.1. because gentle words do pacifie anger, as water quencheth fire. But if they shall vse taunts, or words of reproach and despight one against another, Gal. 5.9. much hurt then may ensue thereof: for a little leauen sowreth the whole lumpe. And therefore let them vse to giue one to the other their dutifull names and titles, and to eschue and shun the contrarie. For example, like as the spightfull Iewes, which ha­ted the Lord Iesus, would not vouchsafe to giue him his name, when they talked of him, or with him, but to shew their vtter dislike of him they vsed to say: Iohn. 7.11.15.35. Is this he? or, art thou he that wilt doe such a thing? Js not this he? &c. Againe, Whither will he goe that we shall not finde him? They would not say, Is not this Iesus Christ? or the Sonne of God? This is a most despight­full kinde of speaking, and doth bewray abun­dance of malice that was hidden in their harts: euen so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife, betwixt the father and the sonne, betwixt the master and the seruant, &c. that they could speake dutifully one to an other: but contempt and disdaine, anger and [Page 213] malice, will not suffer the one to affoord vnto the other their due names and titles, least they should bee put in minde of those duties, which these names require: whereout Sathan suck­eth no small aduantage: whereas many times the very name of husband, or wife, father or sonne, master or seruant, &c. doth greatly helpe to perswade the minde, and to winne the affe­ction: yea, the very mentioning of these names doe oftentimes leaue a print of dutie behinde in the conscience.

Husbands must not forget this point, name­ly, that it is not sufficient for them to declare, and outwardly make a shew of a good life, in words and precepts onely, but also in life and deede: so that two things are very necessarie for him to rule withall: to wit, wisedome, and example, and that he himselfe fulfill the thing that he commandeth to bee done. The life and outward conuersation of a man, whether it bee good or euill, doth not onely perswade, but al­so constraine and inforce. We doe see how mightie and auailable this or the like exhorta­tion of a Captaine is in the time of warre and battell: Oh my souldiers, doe that ye shall see me doe: the which contempt of death in the Captaine, doth so creepe through the whole host, that there is not one, be he neuer so feeble and weake hearted, that doth esteeme his life, for the which hee perceiueth that his Captaine [Page 214] careth so little for. Thus did Christ with his A­postles and Martyrs, draw the world vnto the Christian faith: Leuit. 11.44. & 19.2. & 20.7. and 21.8. Iohn 13.15. Phil. 3.17. 1. Tim. 1.16. 2. Thess. 3.9. For as they liued, so they spake, and as they spake, so they liued. Therfore if the hus­band would haue his wife to bee temperate, quiet, chast, painful in her calling, religious, &c. then he must be carefull that he be not distem­pered, vnquiet, no whoremonger, not carelesse in his calling, nor irreligious &c. So that if hee commaund any thing to be done, he must first looke that hee denie not to doe the same him­selfe, and so shall his wife and familie obey the same, and to be the more readier and willinger to doe it, being both honest and lawfull to bee done.

The very name of a wife, is like the Angell which staied Abrahams hand, Genes. 22.11. when the stroke was comming. If Dauid because hee could not expresse the commoditie and comfort of vnitie, and brotherly loue, was faine to say: Oh how good and ioyfull a thing it is, Psalm. 133.1. for brethren to dwell together in vnitie? Then let husbands weigh and consider, how harsh and bitter a thing it is for them and their wiues to dwell to­gether in enmitie and strife. For the first yeare after marriage, Deut. 24.5. God would not haue the hus­band goe to warre with his enemies, to the end that he and his wife might learne to know one [Page 215] anothers conditions and qualities, and so after­wards liue in godly peace, and not to warre one with another, and therefore God gaue and ap­poynted, that the new married husband that yeare is to stay at home and settle his loue, that he might not warre and iarre after: for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre. As a kingdome cannot stand, if it be diuided: Matth. 12.25. so a house cannot stand, if it be diuided: for strife is like fire, which leaues nothing but dust, smoke and ashes behinde it. We reade in the Scrip­tures of masters that strooke their seruants, but neuer of any that strooke his wife, but rebuked her. Genes. 19.33. Lot was drunk whē he lay with his daugh­ters in stead of a wife: and so is he which stri­keth his wife in stead of his seruants. The law sheweth how a bondman should be corrected: but the wife is like a iudge, which is ioyned in commission with her husband to correct other. Wilt thou strike one in his owne house? no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house. She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary, to defend her from hurt: and canst thou hurt thy selfe? Therefore Abraham said to Lot, Genes. 13.8. Are wee not brethren? that is, may brethren iarre? but they may say, are wee not one? can one chide with another? can one fight with another? Hee is a bad Oste that welcomes his guest with stripes. Doth a King trample on his Crowne? Salomon calleth the wife, Prou. 12.4. The crowne of her husbands [Page 216] therefore hee which woundeth her, woundeth his owne honour. She is a free Citizen in thine house, and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her mariage, Genes. 2.23. Ephes. 5.19. to holde thy hands till shee release thee againe. Adam saith of his spouse, This is flesh of my flesh: But no man (saith Paul) euer hated his owne flesh. So then, if a man aske whether he may strike his wife? God saith nay: thou maist not hate thy wife: for no man ha­teth his owne flesh: shewing, that he should not come neere blowes, but thinke his wrath too much.

Some husbands are wont to say, that they will rule their wiues, whatsoeuer they bee, or howsoeuer they came by them, and that it is in the hand and power of the husband, what, and of what qualities and conditions she shall bee. True it is, that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband, so that he vnderstand as hee ought to doe, that mariage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and friend­ship: and that it farre differeth from tyrannie, the which doth compell men to obey. Truly it may force the bodie, but not the will, in the which all loue and amitie doth consist and stand: the which if it bee drawne and forced, doth resist, and bow like a palme tree to the contrary part. And the husband may assure himselfe that there cannot bee any quiet mari­age or vnitie, where hee and his wife doth not [Page 217] agree in will and minde: the which two, are the beginning and seate of al amitie and friend­ship. And such husbands as do brag, and think themselues able to rule, and ouer-rule their wiues: by that time they haue proceeded and gone a little further, they shall well feele and perceiue themselues to bee beguiled, and finde that thing to bee most hard and intricate, the which to bee done, they esteemed most light and easie.

Some husbands there be, that through euill and rough handling, and in threatning of their wiues, haue and vse them not as wiues, but as their seruants. And yet surely they are but very fooles, that iudge and thinke matrimonie to be a dominion. For such as would be feared, doe afterwards pitiouslie lament and complaine, that they can finde no loue in their wiues, whose loue and amitie, through their own cru­eltie and hard dealing, they haue turned into hatred. And whereas at the beginning, they glorying and cracking thus cruelly to bee their wiues masters, they haue now purchased vnto themselues a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come: seeing now that all loue and pleasure is cast aside, and compassed with feare and suspition, hatred and sorrow. Surely, if a husband (as nature, reason, and the holie Scripture doe witnesse) bee the head ouer his wife, and God their father: there ought to bee [Page 218] betweene them such societie and fellowship: yea, and greater then is betweene the father and his sonne, and not such as is betweene the ma­ster and the seruant. And amongst many rea­sons that may bee vsed to perswade the hus­band and wife to liue together louingly, quiet­ly, and christianly, this is not the least: namely, that for as much as neither of them is certaine how long they shall liue together, and then the partie that ouerliueth purposing to marrie a­gaine, and hauing been churlish, froward, &c. with his former wife: or she with her first hus­band, which their so hard dealing one with the other before being knowne, will (no doubt) be an occasion that they shall not speed & match so well, as otherwise they might, if they had be­haued themselues peaceably, and dutifully in their first mariage.

What the dutie of a wife is towards her husband.

THis dutie is comprehended in these three points. First, that shee reue­rence her husband. Secondly, that she submit her selfe, and bee obe­dient vnto him. And lastly, that she doo not weare gorgeous apparell, beyond her degree and place, but her attire must bee comely and [Page 219] sober, according to her calling. The first point is prooued by the Apostles Peter and Paule: 1. Pet. 3.1. Ephes. 5.22. Col. 3.18. 1. Cor. 7.3. whereby they set forth the wiues duties to their husbands commanding them to bee obedient vnto them, although they be prophane and ir­religious, and that they ought to doe so much the more, that by their honest life and conuer­sation, they might win them to the obedience of the Lord.

Now for so much as the Apostle would haue Christian wiues, that are matched with vngod­ly husbands, and such as are not yet good Chri­stians, to reuerence and obey them: much more they should shew themselues thankful to God, and willingly and dutifully performe this obe­dience and subiection, when they are coupled in mariage with godlie, wise, discreete, lear­ned, gentle, louing, quiet, patient, honest, and thriftie husbands. Wiues must be seruiceable and obedient vnto their hus­bands, & stand in a reuerend awe of them. Ephes 5.33. And therefore they ought e­uermore to reuerence them, and to endeuour with true obedience and loue to serue them, to be loth in any wise to offend them: yea, ra­ther to bee carefull and diligent to please them, that their soule may blesse them. And if at a­ny time it shall happen, that the wife shall an­ger or displease her husband, by doing or spea­king any thing that shall grieue him, she ought neuer to rest vntill she hath pacified him, and gotten his fauour againe. And if he shal chance to blame her without a cause, & for that which [Page 220] she could not helpe or remedie (which thing sometimes happeneth euen of the best men) yet she must beare it patiently, and giue him no vncomely or vnkinde words for it: but euer­more look vpon him with a louing and cheer­full countenance, and so rather let her take the fault vpon her, Chearefull in countenance. then seeme to be displeased. Let her be alway merie and cheerfull in his compa­nie, but yet not with too much lightnesse. She must beware in any wise of swelling, powting, lowring, or frowning: for that is a token of a cruell, and vnlouing heart, except it bee in re­spect of sinne, or in time of sicknesse. She may not bee sorrowfull for any aduersitie that God sendeth: but alwaies to be careful that nothing be spilt, or go to waste, through her negligence. In any wise, Genes. 27.9. see that she bee quicke and cleanly about her husbands meate and drinke, and to prepare him the same according to his diet in due season. Let her shew her selfe in word and deede, wise, humble, courteous, gentle, and lo­uing towards her husband, and also towards such as he doth loue; and then shall she leade a blessed life. Let her shew her selfe, not onely to loue no man so well as her husband; but also to loue none other at all, but him, vnlesse it bee for her husbands sake. Genes. 2.23, 24 Matth. 19.5. 1. Cor. 6.16. Ephes. 5.31. Wherefore let the wife remember, that (as the Scripture reporteth) she is one bodie with her husband; so that shee ought to loue him none otherwise then her [Page 221] selfe: How the Wife ought to be­haue her selfe vnto her Hus­band. for this is the greatest vertue of a maried woman, this is the thing that wedlocke signi­fieth and commaundeth, that the wife should reckon, to haue her husband for both father, mother, brother, and sister: like as Adam was vnto Eue: and as the most noble and chast wo­man Andromache said her husband Hector was vnto her:

And if it be true that men doe say, that friend­ship maketh one heart of two: much more tru­lie and effectuallie ought wedlocke to doe the same, which farre passeth al maner both friend­ship and kindred. Therefore it is not sayd, that mariage doth make one man, or one minde, or one bodie of two, but cleerely one person: wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater du­tie of the husband towards his wife, and the wife towards her husband, then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents. The A­postle biddeth, Rom. 12.15. to reioyce with them that re­ioyce, and weepe with them that weepe. With whom should the wife reioice, rather then with her louing husband? Or with whom should she weepe and mourne, rather then with her owne flesh? I will not leaue thee, 2. King. 21.5. saith Elisha to Eliah: so she should say, Gal. 6.2. I will neuer leaue him till death. Beare one anothers burthen) saith [Page 222] Paul.) Who shall beare one anothers burthen, if the wife do not beare the husbands burthen? Wicked Iezabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse: 1. King. 21.5. 1. King. 14.4. Genes. 12.1. and Ieroboams wife sought for his health, though she was as bad as he. God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie, as he did bid her husband, yet because he bad A­braham leaue his, she left hers too: shewing that she was content not onely to bee his play-fellow, Genes. 2.18. but his yoke-fellow too. Beside a yoke-fellow, she is called a Helper, to helpe him in his labours, to helpe him in his troubles, to help him in his sicknesse, like a woman phisition, sometime with her strength, & sometime with her counsell: 1. Cor. 1.27. for sometime as God confoun­deth the wise by the foolish, and the strong by the weake; so he teacheth the wise by the foo­lish, and helpeth the strong by the weake. Ther­fore Peter saith, 1. Pet. 3.1. Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their wiues. As if he should say, sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell: and Abraham may take counsell of Sa­rah, as Naaman was aduised by his seruant. The Shunamits counsell made her husband re­ceiue a Prophet into his house: 2. King. 5.3. & 4.9. Hest. 7.3. and Hesters counsell made her husband spare the Church of the Iewes: so some haue been better helpe to their husbands, then their husbands haue bin to them: Deut. 32.21. Rom. 10.19. for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish, as hee did the Iewes with the [Page 223] Gentiles. Beside a helper, Prou. 5.18, 19. 1. Sam. 16.23. she is called a Com­forter too: and therefore the man is bid to re­ioyce in his wife: which is as much to say, that wiues must be the reioycing of their husbands, euen like Dauids harp to comfort Saul: A good wife therefore is knowne, when her words and deedes and countenance are such as her hus­band loueth She must not examine whether he be wise, or simple, but that she is his wife, and therefore they that are bound must obey: as Abigail loued her husband, 1. Sam. 52.3. though he were a foole, churlish, & euill conditioned: for y ^e wife is as much despised for taking rule ouer her husband, as he for yeelding it vnto her. There­fore one saith, that a mankind woman is a mō ­ster: that is, halfe a woman, and halfe a man. It beseemeth not the mistresse to be a master, no more then it becommeth the master to be mi­stresse: but both must saile with their owne winde, and both keepe their standing.

Lastly, wee call the wife Huswife, that is, Genes. 38.14. Genes. 34.1. Why wiues are called hus­wiues. Titus 2.5. house-wife, not a street-wife, one that gaddeth vp and downe, like Thamer: nor a field-wife, like Dinah, but a house-wife: to shew that a good wife keeps her house: and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they bee chaste and keeping at home: presently after chast, he saith keeping at home: as though home were chastities keeper. And therefore Salo­mon depainting, Prou. 7.12. and describing the qualities [Page 224] of a whore, setteth her at the doore, now sitting vpon her stall, now walking in the streetes, now looking out of the window: 2. King. 9.30. like cursed Ieza­bel, as if she held forth the glasse of temptation, for vanitie to gaze vpon. But chastitie careth to please but one, and therefore she keeps her clo­set, as if she were still at prayer.

Genes. 18.9.The Angell asked Abraham; Where is thy wife? Abraham answered: She is in the tent. The Angell knew where she was: but hee as­ked, that he might see how women in old time did keepe their tents and houses. 2. King. 4.22. It is recorded of the Shunamite, that she did aske her husband leaue to go vnto the Prophet, though she went to a Prophet, and went of a good errand, and for his cause as much as her owne: yet shee thought it not meete to goe farre abroad with­out her husbands leaue.

The second point is, that wiues submit them­selues, Ephes. 5.22, 23 1. Cor. 11 3. & 14.34. and bee obedient vnto their owne hus­bands, as to the Lord, because the husband is by Gods ordinance, the wiues head: that is, her defender, teacher, and comforter: and therefore she oweth her subiection to her husband, like as the Church doth to Christ; and because the example of Sarah, the mother of the faithfull, which obeyed Abraham and called him Lord, Genes. 18.12. 1. Pet. 3.6. moueth them thereunto. This point is partly handled before in the first point, as in the dutie of the husband to the wife.

As the Church should depend vpon the wise­dome, discretion and wil of Christ, Ephes. 5.24. and not fol­low what it selfe listeth: so must the wife also submit and apply her selfe to the discretion and will of her husband: euen as the gouernment and conduct of euery thing resteth in the head, not in the bodie. Moses writeth, Genes. 3.1. that the Ser­pent was wise aboue all beasts of the field: and that hee did declare in assaulting the woman, that when he had seduced her, she might also seduce and deceiue her husband. 1. Tim. 2.14. Saint Paul noting this, among other the causes of the wo­mans subiection, doth sufficiently shew, that for the auoyding of the like inconueniences, it is Gods will that she should bee subiect to her husband, so that she shall haue no other discre­tion or will, but what may depend vpon her head. As also the same Moses saith: Genes. 3.16. Thy de­sire shall be subiect to thy husband, and he shall rule ouer thee. This dominion ouer the wiues will doth manifestly appeare in this, that God in olde time ordained, Numb. 30.7. that if the woman had vowed any thing vnto God, it should notwith­standing rest in her husband to disauow it. So much is the wiues will subiect to her husband: yet it is not meant, that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath giuen her, in the helpe, and for the good of her husband. But alwaies it must bee with condition to submit her selfe vnto him, ac­knowledging [Page 226] him to be her head, that finallie they may so agree in one, as the coniunction of mariage doth require. Yet as when in a Lute, or other musicall instrument, two strings con­curring in one tune, the sound neuerthelesse is imputed to the strongest and highest: so in a well ordered household, there must be a com­munication, and consent of counsell and will betweene the husband and the wife: yet such, as the counsell and commandement may rest in the husband. True it is, that some women are wiser and more discreete then their husbands: as Abigail the wife of Naball, Prou. 16.1. and 18.22. and 19.14. and 31. all. & others. Wher­vpon Salomon saith: A wise woman buildeth vp the house: and blessed is the man that hath a discreet wife. Yet still a great part of the dis­cretion of such women, shall rest in acknow­ledging their husbands to bee their heads, and so vsing the graces that they haue receiued of the Lord, that their husbands may be honored, not contemned, neither of them nor of others: which falleth out contrarie, when the wife will seeme wiser then her husband. So that this mo­destie and gouernment ought to bee in a wife: namely, that she should not speake but to her husband, or by her husband. And as the voyce of him that soundeth a trumpet, is not so lowd, as the sound that it yeeldeth: so is the wisedome and word of a woman, of greater vertue and efficacie, when all that she knoweth, and can [Page 227] doe, is as if it were said and done by her hus­band. The obedience that the wife oweth to her husband, dependeth vpon this subiection of her will and wisedome vnto him. As 1. Pet. 3.6. Ephes. 5.33. Ester 1.1, 2. &c. 12. So that womē may not prouoke their husbands by disobedi­ence, in matters that may bee performed with­out offence to God: neither to presume ouer him, either in kindred or wealth, or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet. For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband, and cōtempt wrath, and is many times the cause of troubles be­tweene the man and the wife. If the obedience importeth any difficultie, she may for her ex­cuse gently propound the same: yet vpon con­dition to obey, in case the husband should per­sist in his intent, so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse. For it is better to continue peace by obedience, then to breake it by resistance. And indeede it is naturall in the members, to obey the conduct and gouerne­ment of the head. Yet must not this obedience so far extend, as that the husband should com­mand any thing contrary to her honour, credit and saluation, but as it is comely in the Lord: Col. 3.18. Ephes. 5.22. Therfore, as it were a mō ­strous matter, and the means to ouerthrow the person, that the body should, in refusing all sub­iection & obedience to the head, take vpō it to [Page 228] guide it selfe, and to commaund the head: so were it for the wife to rebell against the hus­band. Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course, which God in his wise­dome hath established: and with all let her vn­derstand, that going about it, she riseth not so much against her husband, as against GOD: and that it is her good, and honor, to obey God in her subiection & obedience to her husband. If in the practise of this dutie, she finde any dif­ficultie or trouble, through the inconsiderate course of her husband, or otherwise; let her re­member, that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde, but through some sin afterward crept in, which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and o­bedience, that the womā should haue enioyed in that estate, wherein together with Adam, she was created after the image of God. And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God, and be well assured that her subiection and o­bedience is acceptable vnto him. Likewise, that the more that the image of God is restored in her, and her husband, through the regeneration of the holie Ghost, the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience: as ma­ny in their mariage haue in deede tried, to their great contentment and consolation.

Further, there is a certaine discretion and de­sire required of women to please the nature, in­clinations [Page 229] & maners of their husbands, so long as the same imports no wickednesse. For as the looking-glasse, howsoeuer faire and beautiful­ly adorned, is nothing woorth, if it shew that countenance sad, which is pleasant: or the same pleasant, that is sad: so the woman deserueth no commendation, that (as it were) contrary­ing her husband, when he is merie, sheweth her selfe sad; or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth: for as men should obey the lawes of their cities, so women the maners of their husbands. To some women, a becke of her husband is suffi­cient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him, and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence. For an honest ma­tron hath no neede of any greater staffe, but of one word, or one sowre countenance. More­ouer, a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband, must also loue her house, as re­membring, that the husband that loueth his wife, cannot so well like of the sight of any ta­pestrie, as to see his wife in his house. For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate, confoundeth her selfe, her husband, and familie: Titus 2.5. But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad. First, to come to holie meetings, according to the dutie of godlinesse. The second, to visit such as stand in neede, as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require. The third, for employment and proui­sion [Page 230] in household affaires committed to her charge. And lastly, with her husband when hee shall require her. The wife must keepe a good tongue. Gen. 20.1. &c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue, and passe with their husbands, is not so much for that they commit with, and in their persons, as it is for that they speake with their tongues. When the wife doth holde her peace, she kee­peth the peace. The cause of domesticall combats. If the wife would keep silence when her husband be­ginneth to chide, he should not haue so vnquiet dinners, neither she the woorse supper: which surely is not so: for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe, the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe; wherof doth follow, that now & then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes, more beastlike thē chri­stianlike: which their so doing is both a great shame, Silence be­commeth a woman. and a foule discredit to them both. The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to ob­taine, and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband, is to bee silent, obedient, peace­able, patient, studious to appease his choler, if he bee angrie, painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse, Lacke of knowledge of Gods word, is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their hus­bands. to be solitarie and honest. The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their hus­bands, is, because they be ignorant of the word of God, which teacheth the same and all other duties: and therefore their soules and consci­ences not being brought into subiection to God and his word, they can neuer vntill then, [Page 231] yeeld and performe true subiection and obe­dience to their husbands, and behaue them­selues so euery way, as christian wiues are in du­tie bound to doe. But if wiues bee not so duti­tiful, seruiceable, and subiect to their husbands, as in conscience they ought; the onely cause thereof, for the most part, is through the want and neglect of the wise, discreet, and good go­uernment that should be in the husbands: be­sides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede. One heart and one will. For as the common saying is: Such a husband, such a wife: a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one, How the loue, faithfulnesse, and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased. therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased, and so continued, if they remember the duties last spo­ken of, as also not forget these three points fol­lowing.

1. They must be of one heart, will and mind, and neither to vpbraide, or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies, or to pride themselues in their gifts: but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants, that so they both helping & doing their best together, may be one perfect bodie.

2. It doth greatly increase loue, when the one faithfully serueth the other, when in things concerning mariage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other, and the one doth [Page 232] not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other: and when of all that euer they ob­taine or get, they haue but one common purse together, the one locking vp nothing from the other: and also when the one is faithfull to the other, in eating, drinking, and so in all their ne­cessities and affaires. Likewise, when the one harkneth to the other, and when the one think­eth not scorne of the other, and when in mat­ters concerning the gouernment of the house, the one will be counselled and aduised by the other: and alwaies the one to bee louing, kind, curteous, plaine, and gentle in words, maners and deedes.

3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious, diligent, and seruiceable to the other in all o­ther things. And this will the sooner come to passe, if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall, or cannot away withall: and what pleaseth or displeaseth them. And so from thence-forth to do the one, and to leaue the other vndone. They must se­cretly keepe no euill will in their mindes, but tell their griefe. And if one of them bee angrie and offended with the other, then let the partie grieued, open and make knowne to the other their griefe in due time, and with discre­tion: for the longer a displeasure or euill will rageth in secret, the worse will be the discord. And this must bee obserued, that it bee done in a fit & conuenient time: because there is some season, in the which if griefes were shewed, it [Page 233] should make greater debate. As if the wife should goe about to tell or admonish her hus­band when he is out of patience, or moued with anger, it should then bee no fit time to talke with him. 1. Sam. 25.36, 37. Therefore Abigail perceiuing Na­ball her husband to bee drunke, would not speake to him vntill the morning. Both the husband and wife must remember, that the one be not so offended and displeased with the ma­ners of the other, 1. Cor. 7.10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16. Matth. 19.6. Matth. 19.9. & 5.33. Luke. 16.18. that they should thereupon forsake the companie one of the other: for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees, would therefore forsake the honie. And therefore no man may put away his wife for a­ny cause, except for whoredome, which must be duly proued before a lawfull Iudge. But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to com­mend their state & mariage to God, by humble and feruent prayer, that he for his beloued sons sake, would so blesse them and their mariage, that they may so christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues, that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement. For like as all maner of medicines (and speciallie as they that goe nighest death, as to cut off whole members, &c.) are very lothsome and terrible: euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine, but a perilous and terrible medicine. Therefore e­uery good Christian husband and wife, ought with all care and heedfulnesse, so to liue in ma­riage, [Page 234] that they haue no need of such medicine. As the holie Scripture maketh mention of ma­ny wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly, as partly may be seene by these quo­tations, 1. King. 11.1, 2. Prou. 21.9.22.14. and 25.24. and 27.15. Eccles. 7.28.30: So con­trariwise, the same sacred Scripture also com­mendeth vnto vs many women that haue been deuout, religious and vertuous: as partly is ma­nifest by that which hath already been said: and also by these places of Scripture, Ruth. 3.11. 1. Sam. 25.3. Pro. 14.1. and 31.10. Matt. 28.1.8.9.10. Luk. 8.2.3. & 23.55.56. and 14.1. Act. 16.14.15. and 1.14. and 17.4. and 9.36.39. 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1.5. And whosoeuer shall ob­serue it in the reading of the word of God, shal finde that it speaketh of the praise of as many, and moe good women, as men: yea, and we are perswaded that if at this day a due suruey shuld bee taken of all men and women throughout her Maiesties dominions, that there would bee found in number moe women that are faithful, religious and vertuous, then men.

The wife ought to obey her husband in all things, that be honest and agreeable to Gods word.Now, if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband, the Apostle resolueth this doubt, where he saith, Eph. 5.22. saying, Wiues, submit your selues vnto your husbands, as to the Lord. As if hee had said: Wiues cannot bee disobedient to their hus­bands, but they must resist God also, who is the [Page 235] author of this subiection, and that she must re­gard her husbands will, as the Lords will: but yet withall, as the Lord commandeth one that which is good and right: so she should obey her husband in good and right, or els she doth not obey him as the Lord, but as the tempter. The first subiection of the woman began at sinne: for when God cursed her for seducing her husband, when the Serpent had deceiued her, he said: He shall haue authoritie ouer thee. Genes. 3.16. And therefore as the man named all other crea­tures, in signe that they should bee subiect to him, as a seruant which commeth when his master calleth him by his name: so he did name the woman also, Hest. 1.20.22. Numb. 30.7, 8, 9. 1. Pet. 3.6. Iudg. 19.26. in token that she should bee subiect to him likewise. And therefore Assue­rus made a law, that euery man should beare rule in his owne house, and not the woman. Be­cause she sinned first, therefore she is humbled most: and euer since, the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord, as Sarah called her husband: that is, to take them for heads and gouernours.

Amongst the particular duties that a Chri­stian wife ought to performe in her familie, It is a speciall dutie of a mo­ther, to giue her children sucke her selfe. this is one: namely, that it belongeth to her to nurse her owne children, which to omit, and to put them forth to nursing, is both against the law of nature, and also against the will of God: be­sides, it is hurtfull both for the childes bodie, [Page 236] and also for his wit: and lastly, it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe, and it is an occasion that she falleth into much sicknesse thereby.

1. First, Nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end, but that she should bestow it vpon her childe. We see by experience, that euery beast, and euery fowle, is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it: onely some women loue to be mothers, but not nurses. And as euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth: euen so also it becom­meth natural mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke. 1. Tim. 5.10.

2. Secondly, the example of the Scriptures are many that proue this. As Sarah, who nur­sed Isaack, Genes. 22.7. though shee were a Princesse, and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken y ^t paines: as also hauing bin a beau­tifull woman, euen in olde age being of great yeares, yet she her selfe nurseth and giueth suck to her sonne. 1. Sam. 1.23. Also Anna, whom the holy Ghost hath lest it recorded, as a commendation vnto her, for that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel. So when God chose a nurse for Moses, he led the Hand-maide of Pharaohs daughter to his mother; Exod. 2.8. Iudg. 13.24. Cant. 8.1. Psalm. 22.9. Matth. 2.14. Luke. 2.7.12. as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother. Likewise, after when the Sonne of God was borne, his father thought none fit to be his nurse, but the virgin his mo­ther. It is a commendation of a good woman, [Page 237] and set downe in the first place, 1. Tim. 5.10. as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of, if she haue nursed her children. And there­fore such as refuse thus to doe, may well and fit­ly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers: yea, in so doing they make themselues but halfe-mothers, and so breake the holy bond of nature, in locking vp her breast from her child, and de­liuering it forth like the Cuckoo, to bee hatched in the Sparrowes nest.

3. Again, the childrens bodies be common­ly so affected, as the milk is which they receiue. Now, if the Nurse bee of an euill complexion, and as she is affected in her bodie, or in her minde, or haue some hidden disease, the childe sucking of her breast, must needs take part with her. And if that bee true which the learned doe say, that the temperature of the minde followes the constitution of the bodie, needes must it be, that if the nurse be of a naughty nature, the child must take thereafter. Yet if it bee that the nurse bee of a good complexion, of an honest beha­uiour: (whereas contrariwise, Maidens that haue made a scape, are commonly called to be Nurses) yet can it not bee, but that the mo­thers milke should bee much more naturall for the childe, then the milke of a stranger. As by experience, let a man bee long accustomed to one kinde of drinke, if the same man chaunge his ayre, and his drinke, he is like to mislike it. [Page 238] As the egges of a Henne are altered vnder a Hawke: neuerthelesse, such women, as be op­pressed with infirmities, diseases, want of milke, or other iust and lawfull causes, are to be dispensed withall, but, whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought? Forsooth, it is like the gowte, no beggers may haue it, but Citizens or Gentlewomen. In the 9. of Hosea, verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse. What a la­mentable hap haue Gentlewomen, to light vp­on this curse, more then other? sure, if their breasts be drie, (as they say) they should fast and pray togither, that this curse might bee remo­ued from them.

4. And lastly, that it is hurtfull to the mo­thers themselues, both Phisitions can tell, and some women full oft haue felt, how they haue beene troubled with sore breasts, besides other diseases, that happen to them, through plentie of milke.

The wife is further to remember, that God hath giuen her two breasts, not that she should employ and vse them for a shew, or of osten­tation, but in the seruice of God, and to bee a helpe to her husband, in suckling the child cō ­mon to them both. Experience teacheth, that God cōuerteth her blood into the milke, wher­with the child is nursed in the mothers wombe. He bringeth it into the breasts, furnished with nipples, conuenient to minister the warme [Page 239] milke vnto the childe, whom he indueth with industrie, to drawe out the milke for his owne sustenance. The woman therefore, that can suckle her child, and doth it not, but refu­seth this office and dutie of a mother, declareth her selfe to be very vnthankefull to God, and (as it were) forsaketh and contemneth the fruit of her wombe. And therefore the bruit beasts ly­ing vpon the ground, & granting not one nip­ple or two, but sixe or seuen to their yong ones, shall rise in iudgement against these daintie halfe-mothers, who for feare of wrinckling of their faces, or to auoid some small labour, doe refuse this so necessary a dutie of a mother due to her children. The properties due to a marri­ed wife, are, that shee haue grauitie when shee walketh abroad: wisedome, to gouerne her house: patience, to suffer her husband: loue, to breed and bring vp her children: courteous to­wards her neighbours: diligence, to lay vp, and to saue such goods as are within her charge: a friend of honest company, and a greater ene­mie of wanton and light toyes. 1. So then, the principall dutie of the wife, is, first to bee subiect to her husband, Ephes. 5.22. Col. 3.18. 1. Pet. 3.1. 2. To be chaste and shamefast, modest and silent, godly and discreet. 3. To keepe herselfe at home, for the good gouerne­ment of her familie, and not to stray abroad without iust cause.

Srepfathers & Stepmothers their duties.Here it is not to be pretermitted, but that we must say somwhat touching men and women that bee twise married, and so become Step-fathers, The Husband and Wife, must so praise his first Wife, and she her first Husband, so as it be not done to the offence or reproach of either to the o­ther. Iealousie, which is the suspecting of adultrie in the married par­ties, ought wiselie & care­fully to be sup­pressed on both parties, without appa­rant matter. and Step-mothers. Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe, after the death of their first wiues, or first husbands, are carefully to re­mēber that they do not displease their wiues, or their husbands, which they now haue, by ouer­much rehearsing of their first wife, or first hus­band. For the course & condition of the world is such, that husbands and wiues doe account and recouer things past, better then things that be present. And the reason is, because no com­moditie or felicitie is so great, but it hath some griefe and displeasure, and also some bitternesse mingled with it: which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore, but when it is one gone, it lea­ueth no great feeling of it selfe behinde it: and for that cause wee seeme to bee lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past, then with those that are present. Also age stealeth and commeth on apace, which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and indure troubles and griefes now, then be­fore. Therefore such men and women as bee twise married, and be wise and religious, ought not to esteeme their wife, or husband which is dead, better then her or him which they enioy now aliue: remembring the common pro­uerbe, That we must liue by the quick, and not [Page 241] by the dead: and that wee must make much of that we now haue. The very name of Stepfather and Stepmo­ther, teacheth them their du­tie. Let the name of Step-father and Step-mother, admonish and put them in minde of their dutie towards the children of the one and the others for Step-father and Step-mother, doth signifie a sted-father and a sted-mother: that is, one father, or one mother dieth, and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome. Therfore to the end that both their loues may be setled towards the children of the one and the other, they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother: that is, in stead of their owne father and mo­ther: and therefore they ought to loue them, to tender them, and to cherish them, as their owne father or mother did. They must not look vpon them like Rehoboam, who told his people, 1. King. 12.13. to 21. that he would bee worse vnto them then his prede­cessor: for then the children will dislike of you, and turne from you, as his subiects did from him: but ye must come to thē, as Dauid came to the people after Sauls death, who sayd: 2. Sam. 2.7. Though your master Saul bee dead, yet I will raigne ouer you: so ye must say to them, though your father be dead, or though your mother be dead, yet I will be a father, or I will be a mother vnto you: so the children wil loue you, as much as their dead father, or dead mother did. For that man and that woman that are led with dis­cretion, reason, and consideration, will reckon [Page 242] himselfe and his wife all one: and likewise, she will account herselfe and her husband as one. And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one, and of the other, as com­mon to them both: for if friendship make all things common among friends, insomuch, that many haue loued & fauoured their friends children, as their owne; how much more effe­ctually and perfectly ought mariage to cause the same, which is the highest degree, not only of friendships, but also of al blood and kindred. But Step-mothers doe more often offend, and faile in this dutie, then men, by reason that their affections bee stronger then mens, and many times ouer rule them: and therefore they are earnestly to bee admonished and warned, that they shew themselues to those motherles chil­dren, no step-mothers friendship, but a right motherly kindnes. Let the step-mother adui­sedly consider, that God hath ordained and ap­pointed her (in stead of their owne mother) to bee to them a right true mother, and not onely to regard them as children, but as orphane chil­dren, and requireth her to loue them, and to do them good, as to her owne. What a griefe would it be to her hart, if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne bodie, should (after her death) haue a stepmother that would be rigorous, churlish, and vnkinde vnto them? doubtles those chil­drens [Page 243] mother, that dead is, had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children. Let her ther­fore alwaies haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ: As you measure vnto other, Matth. 7.2. so it shall be measured to you againe: That is, as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor, so another wife may come after her, and intreate her children: for he that tooke away the first mother, and sent her, can take a­way the second mother, and send a third, which will not bee like a stead-mother to hers, vnlesse she bee like a stead-mother to these. Verely, a good woman will bee vnto her husbands chil­dren, that which she may heare them call her so often: that is, Mother. For what christian wo­man is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection, that will not be moued and mittiga­ted with this word Mother, of whom soeuer it be spoken? And chiefly of children which can­not flatter, but speake euen so from their heart, like as they would to their owne mother, of whom they were borne. How sweete is the name of friendship? how many iniuries, ha­treds and displeasures doth it hide and put a­way? Then how much more effectuall ought the sweet name of mother to be, which is full of incredible loue? Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and minde, when she shall heare her selfe named mother, by any of her husbands childrē. [Page 244] Otherwise, she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkinde, then the wilde sauage beast: for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kinde fawne vpon her, she will by and by shew kindnes and mildnes vnto it. And shall not her husbands children make her kinde and louing vnto them, when they call and speake vnto her, by the louing and sweete name of mother?

As wiues ought to goe comely, clean­ly, and hand­somely in their apparrell, so they must in any wise be­ware of pride, riot, or excesse therein.3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the dutie of wiues, is, that they doe not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell, or broide­red haire trimmed with golde: but that after the example of holie women which trusted in God, they bee sober in outward apparell, and ought to bee garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds: as with gentlenes, meeknes, quietnes, and chastitie, which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God. This point is so plainly spoken of by the A­postle to Timothie, chap. 2. vers 9.10. in which place he so flatly condemneth, both the excesse and pride of apparell, as also the pompe, cu­riositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads, by plating, crisping, broy­ding, curling, & curiously laying out, y ^t no man can say more against it, in so few words, as hee hath spoken to y ^e vtter dislike therof. For if a mā should occupie himselfe, and giue libertie to his penne to write of the horrible abuse and ex­cessiue [Page 245] pride, Pride is hate­full before God and man. Be not there­fore proude, for thou art but d [...]ff and ashes. that many women commit in this behalfe, hee should rather want time to write, then matter to speake. Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues herein, we leaue them to the Lord, who (no doubt) will in his appointed time, not onely seuerely punish thē, but also their husbands, for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues: as he did the Iewes for the same sinne, as plain­ly may bee seene in Esay 3.16. &c. For so it fal­leth out, according to the common prouerbe, Prou. 16.18. That pride goeth before, and shame and de­struction commeth after. And on the contrarie part, we hope that such women as be true pro­fessors of Christ & his religion, will both attire and dresse their heads so decently, and also content themselues with such comely apparel, as best beseemeth their calling and degree; so as by their good example, Titus 2.3. they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this be­halfe: & so rather to come short of that, which their abilitie and place would serue to main­taine, then any waies to exceede herein, to the slaunder of their profession. Temperance in apparrell. And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue, but rather what they cannot well bee without: so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of, is too deare of a farthing.

The dutie of Parents to­wards their children.

This dutie containeth foure poyntes, namely, in tea­ching or in­structing them in religion, in manners good example of life, and skill of an occupation. THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points. First, that fathers and mo­thers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle, in the feare and nurture of the Lord.

Secondly, that they bring them vp in shame­fastnesse, hatred of vice, and loue of all ver­tue.

Thirdly, that they be vnto their children, ex­amples of all godlines, and vertuousnes.

Fourthly, that they keep them from idlenes, the mother of all mischiefes, and bring them vp either in learning, or in some good Art, or Oc­cupation, whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth, when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion.

The first point1. Touching the first point, Parents are to be admonished, that they beare in minde, that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children, is: first, that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp, that they may become citizens of the church of God: so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord, they may leaue their chil­dren true worshippers of God in their place: [Page 247] but alas, there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie.

It is to bee remembred, The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name. Dan. 1.7. that it is the fathers dutie, with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme, and there to giue the name vnto his child: as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias, Genes. 35.18. & 4.25.26. Luk. 1.63. Genes. 16.15. & 21.3. And it is a thing worthie to bee wished, that all parents, when, and at such time as God blesseth them, hauing any childrē borne, that then they would giue them such names, as are named and com­mended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures, to the end that when they come to yeares of discre­tion, they by hearing those names, may be exci­ted and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and wo­men, whose names they beare, which the holie Ghost hath commended them for: and contra­riwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vi­ces, which are discommended in them. We are neither better nor worse in re­spect of our names. Iosua 10.3. The name profiteth none in whom ver­tue is not com­mended. And yet wee haue to remember, that as those chil­dren which are named and called by, and after any of the names of Patriarkes, Prophets, Apo­stles, or by the name of any other Saint, man or woman, are not any thing the better, be­cause they haue such godly & christian names, vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith, vertue, and godly behauiour: so on the other side, they that bee not called by such [Page 248] christian names, as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture, are not in respect of their names any thing the worse, hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloud­shedding, and leading their liues agreeable to the same. For as neither the yearely reuenues, nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors, and to descend of noble parentage, maketh mē noble and renowned in deed, vnles they them­selues be godly, honest, and wise: so neither the godly names, no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers, auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all, vnlesse they repent and become faithfull, and godly, as they were. Let vs here consider, that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name, it doth put vs in remembrance: first, of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme: secondly, of our promise to God againe. And as in times amongst our ancestors, Luk. 1.59. and 2.21▪ Proper names are also giuen vnto vs, for this vse and end, that is, to di­stinguish be­twixt man and man. Infants had their names giuen them when they were cir­cumcised, as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admo­nished by the calling by their names, at what time and place they had their names giuen thē, and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God, and ioyned in league with him, and made partakers of the co­uenant: so likewise after the same maner, must we that haue had our names giuen vs in bap­tisme, [Page 249] remember & beare in mind, that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God, and re­ceiued into his fauour, and therfore that we are Gods own, and as it were his goods and riches, as who beare his name as proper vnto him.

2. Secondly, they must assure themselues, that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children, vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God, and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer, that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares, subtilties, and temptations of Sathan, which their tender age is subiect vnto. We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children: but they do not marke & consider that they are iustly punished by God, for that they thinke by their owne in­dustrie and wit, to make them good and ver­tuous, without Gods blessing, which they sel­dome or neuer call for in good earnest.

3. Thirdly, let them consider how noble a thing a child is, whom God himselfe hath sha­ped and formed in his mothers wombe, nouri­shed, brought foorth into the light, and indued with bodie and soule, to the end he should (as it were in a table) represent God his first paterne. Instructing, correcting, and praying, make good children, and happie Parents.

4. Fourthly, let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order. Vnto the bodie, nourishment, bringing vp, apparell, and some­time correction, that they may keepe their [Page 250] children in awe. 1. King. 2.2, 3. Genes. 34.30. Iohn 1.5. Vnto the soule they owe cate­chising, instruction and doctrine: and that of two sorts, namely, of godlinesse, and of ciuili­tie. By the one, they shall keepe a good consci­ence before God. By the other, they shall ob­taine a good report among men. For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children: both which the Apostle comprehen­deth in one verse, where he saith, Ephes. 6.1. Ye, fathers prouoke not your children to wrath, but bring them vp in instruction, and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are dili­gently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion, so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same, that they may (as it were) suck in god­linesse together with their mothers milke, and straight waies after their cradle, may bee nouri­shed with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life. To haue godly children (no doubt) is the greatest treasure that may be. For in the children doe the parents liue (in a maner) euen after death. And if they be wel instructed, catechised, and vertuously brought vp, God is honoured by them, the common wealth is ad­uanced: yea, their parents, and all other fare the better for them. They are their parents com­fort, next vnto God, their ioy, staffe, and vphol­ding of their age: and therefore parents ought [Page 251] to begin betimes to plant vertue in their chil­drens breasts: for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt Haruest. Young branches will bow as a man will haue them, but olde trees will sooner breake then bow. And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence, to a strong and a mightie man that can shoote them with courage: euen so children godly brought vp, are a speciall protection and de­fence to their parents. And as the strong mans quiuer, the better it is furnished with chosen shafts, the better defence he hath: so likewise the more godly children that parents haue, the greater is their ioy and happinesse. Yea and fur­ther, as arrowes are at the commādement of the owner to be vsed: euen so children wel taught, are at the commandement of godly parents.

5. Lastly, let parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon ano­ther, which doe not their dutie in bringing vp their children, as they ought to doe. First, they transgresse the law of nature, which telleth all men, that their dutie is to bring vp their chil­dren godlily and honestly. Secondly, Deut. 6.7, 8. & 4.9. & 11.19. Psalm. 71.5, 6, 7, 8. Iosu. 4.6. they sinne against God: for they despise the commaunde­ment and authoritie of God: for hee comman­deth, that children should bee brought vp reli­giously and honestly: but hee is a despiser of God that refuseth to doe as he is commaunded. Thirdly, he offendeth against his own credit & [Page 252] estimation. Exod. 12.26.27. Luke 11 12. For Gods wil is, that parents should (after a sort) be in his stead, so farre forth as per­taineth to outward discipline. But such make small account of this dignity, who neglect their dutie in this behalfe. Parents are further to vn­derstand, that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to see their children taught to pray to God, and to rehearse the Apostles Creed, and the ten commandements. For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather bee inclined to godlinesse and reuerence toward God; so as they increase in age, they shall euery day bet­ter then other comprehend that which they learne, to their owne comfort, and instruction to saluation. Also, as the tongue is called the glorie of man, because that besides al other rea­sons, by his speech hee is discerned from the brute beasts: so it is meete, that so soone as the childe can begin to speake, his tongue should bee employed to glorifie God, by calling vpon him, and by learning some short Catechisme, containing the principles and grounds of Chri­stian religion: as also in repeating the will of God in such sort, as he wil that we should serue and honour him.

If parents doe note or perceiue any vice in their little ones, as swearing, lying, choller, en­uie filching, couetousnesse, contempt of parēts, readinesse to strife, and other like corruptions: it is their duty, diligently and in time to reproue [Page 253] and correct thē: as men vse to pluck vp weedes while they bee yet young, least growing vp a­mong the good seedes, they should hinder their growth, and choke them vp. By experience we can see, that mothers in swadling their little ones, doe lay their limmes right, each in his place: likewise, if a childe bee giuen to bee left handed, they chide him: yea, sometimes they binde it vp, or otherwise restraine the vse of it, that hee may bee accustomed to vse his right hand. Also, if the childe haue some string vnder his tongue, they cut it, least it should hinder his speech: much more then ought they to beware, that through their negligence the vices of the soules doe not increase: for it is the dutie of pa­rents, euen in the infancie, to begin to shape and frame the soule vnto vertue.

It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne, at the least to write and reade: for it may bee vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life, and a treasure of much greater account then money. And there­fore the negligence of many is sharply to be re­proued. Besides that, the performance of the duties herein, doth greatly binde their children vnto them. Neuerthelesse, the principall ende thereof should not haue respect to such com­moditie, as the children may reape thereby to­wards the vse of this present life: but rather that they may reade the word of God to their com­fort [Page 254] and instruction to saluation. As also it were their parts to vse them daily to reade some chapters of the holie Scriptures, thereby to in­cline and winne their affections to the word of God, to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holie Ghost, by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine, to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient: and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare. Therefore if parents do look that their children should obey them, then let them ioyne & accustome them to Gods word, which will redownd much to their parents pro­fit. If they cause their children to heare & reade the holie Scriptures, therein they may learne, Honour thy father and thy mother: But if pa­rents doe otherwise, then they traine them vp in the scriptures of diuels, whereout their chil­dren will learne most wicked things: but it is not so when they are instructed in the holie Scriptures. Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God comman­deth, and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them: namely, to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare of GOD, and in the faith of Iesus Christ: Deut. 6.6.7. and 32.46. Ephes. 6.4. So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age. It is then great follie to linger children in the learning of vaine, trifling, and vnprofitable things, which [Page 255] as they grow in yeares, they will contemne and forget. Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course, trade, or other estate, wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men: and verely such fathers as do neglect that, are vnworthie to haue children. But as the soule is more precious then the bo­die; so is it the dutie of parēts, in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things, wherewith in age, euen in this life, they may glorifie God, and be heires of the Lord. If pa­rents want knowledge, or bee vnwilling to take leisure to teach them; yet let them doe as much for their childrens soules, and the life to come, as for their bodies, and this present life. Parents that either cannot write and reade, or will not, or haue not time to teach their chil­dren, will yet send thē to schoole: and such as would haue them learne some Art or Occupa­tion, or traffique, if themselues professe not the same, wherein they like to employ their chil­dren, they will yet put them to dwell with those that doe professe the same, to the ende they may learne. How therefore can parents excuse themselues, when their children remaine vn­taught in those things that concerne the glorie of GOD, and life euerlasting? But howsoeuer it bee, if they be neither able of themselues, nor doe prouide to haue thē taught by others, they shall bee inexcusable in the sight of God: and [Page 256] the ignorance of the children, ingendring con­tempt of God, loue of the world, and neglect of heauenly felicitie, will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents: so that if they account not their children as beasts without soule, or if they loue them with the due loue be­longing to parents let them declare their loue especially to the soule: the christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure.

Some say, it would bee a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neere kindred, and consequently their children: and this com­meth of naturall affection. But might it not bee a greater discomfort for them, euen in their life time to see them goe to hell for want of instru­ction? Some charge their children to be dull witted, and hard to be bowed, or brought to a­ny goodnesse or vertue. Albeit naturall inclina­tion bee a great helpe or profiting, yet exercise and custome to do well, is a mightie meanes to bend and shape them that way: yea, euen such that by experience we finde this olde prouerbe true: Ʋse ouer commeth nature. As the wheele-wright doth by strength bow his timber, & let­ting it lie long in that bent, it abideth crooked. Barren ground well tilled, soyled and sowen with good feed, groweth fruitfull, and yeeldeth good increase. Iron weareth with handling: The water by continuall dropping weareth the stone: Wilde beasts may be tamed: and wilde [Page 257] colts by custome be brought to the saddle, and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and cu­stome be fashioned to vertue. As contrariwise, the wit most inclined by nature to vertue, may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked, be peruerted and grow vicious.

Parents therefore are herein to respect two points: first, to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue, remē ­bring, that a seale entereth deepest into softest waxe. They must be carefull, that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales, bawdie rimes, or vngodly speeches before their children: least they infect their tender wits with follie and a­stonishment. Experience sheweth, that chil­dren will sooner learne any language by con­uersation, then elder folks. Also, that the yon­ger the twig is, the sooner it is bent or made straight. Secondly, it is the parents dutie, to re­straine their children from haunting and con­uersing, with such as be vicious, peruerse, and wicked. And vndoubtedly we see, that they do soone learne villanous & vnseemely speeches, and malicious lewd actions, with their corrup­tions, and as the old prouerbe saith: Halting with the lame, they shall learne to halt. A child that naturally speaketh wel, by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech, shall degenerate and speake as badly. Tie a yong twig that is [Page 258] crooked, with a straight one, that is stronger then it, and in growing it will become straight, and so continue when it is vndone. And con­trariwise, a straight one tyed to that which is crooked, and stronger then it selfe, will grow and continue crooked.

Moreouer, parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation, eyther to learning, they then ought carefully to see and enquire, whether such as they thinke to place them withall, bee r [...]ligious and vertuous, and endued with the feare of God.

Many men in the admittance of a seruant, the feare of some temporall, or carnall incon­uenience, causeth them to enquire of his, or her trueth, honestie, or other qualities. Therefore, if parents shall commit their child to the orde­ring and instruction of a master, before they make inquirie of his honestie & christian con­uersation, they plainely shew, that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice, then of some smal incon­uenience that might happen by an vnhonest, and vnthriftie seruant. When they buy an earthen pot, they sound vpon it, to see whether it be broken, least they should be deceiued in a small piece of money: yet doe they not sound, whether the master, to whom they commit their child, bee vicious, or vertuous: albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vici­ous [Page 259] and irreligious, they put him in danger of losse, both of body and soule.

Some doe respect their friendship with some masters, rather then their vertue, and so doe commit to thē their children, least they should be angrie for putting them to another.

These men doe resemble and bee like him, who being dangerously sicke, vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition: that is, his kinsman or familiar friend, for feare he should take of­fence, if he should call another, albeit without comparison, more learned and skilfull.

If thou shouldest haue any waightie matter in law, wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant & negligent atturney, because he is thy friend, then to him that were both di­ligent and learned? Making a Voyage through some dangerous Sea, wouldest thou in a tem­pest, commit thy Ship to a young Pilot, vn­skilfull, or drunke, because hee is thy Friend? What a foole art thou, that wilt not take the like care of the profite, honour, safetie, and sal­uation of thy child?

Others commit their children, either to him, that is best cheape, or by whom they may grow into greatest aduauncement in the world, but neuer respect the hazard of their child, so they may eyther spare, or get worldly goods.

Let them also bee carefull to restraine their children from vice, and to inure & accustome [Page 260] them to vertue. As indeed the fathers that in­struct, or cause their children to be instructed, doe farre excell such, as onely doe beget them: for of these they receiue life onely: of the other good and vertuous life. Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens masters, as neuer to care to vn­derstand, how they profite and goe forward in learning and vertue: for the regard of such dili­gence, would make the masters more carefully to discharge their duties. And thereof came the Prouerbe: The masters eye fatteth the horse: and this, The masters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden.

Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments, both ghostly and bodily, as well in the pa­rents, as in the children: yea, and in all the po­steritie.

The holy Scripture giueth great commen­darion to sundrie men & women, for their god­ly education, and vertuous bringing vp of their children: as to Abraham, for he commanded his sonnes and his household, to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne Salomon to serue God, Gen. 18.19. 1. Chro. 28.9. Act. 10.2. 2. Tim. 1 5. Parents must performe their dutie to their children mo­derately with great grauitie and authority. Gen. 22.7.8. Pro. 4.3.4, 5, 6 Pro. 3.1.2. &c. That is thought to be well done, which is done by example. 2. Sam. 13.28.29. Ezech. 16.44. Esay. 24.2. Fruites are wont to take their shape and nature of the tree. with a perfect heart, and a willing mind. It is said also of Cornelius, that he feared God, and all his household. Likewise of Eunica the mother of Timothie, that shee nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith, and good doctrine. For where a vertuous and [Page 261] godly childhood goeth before, there a godly and vertuous age followeth after. Contrari­wise, when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God, & to know them­selues: when they do not breed them vp in ver­tue, nor reproue them when they doe amisse, they then become corrupt in their vnderstan­ding, & abominable in their doings: ignorant, and voyd of all knowledge and grace, and of reuerence or feeling of nature.

If Parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous, and honest indeed (as in conscience they ought) then they must bee diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse & honestie them­selues. For we see by experience, according to the common Prouerbe. As the old cocke cro­weth, the young learneth: such a father, such a sonne: and such a mother, such a daughter. For like as when the head is well and sound, and al­so the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours, the bodie is commonly well affected: euen so, where the head or chiefe of any familie or household, is religious and sound in the faith, and feareth God, it commonly goeth well with all the household.

What shall it auaile, for parents to teach their children honestie & modestie, when they them­selues in their workes and behauiour, do inuite them to wantonnesse, and lewdnesse? Verball instruction, without example of good deeds, [Page 262] is a dead doctrine: and contrariwise, good ex­amples are the life of instruction, to make it profitable and effectuall. If the example of parents be contrary to their instructions: If (we say) they teach their childrē sobrietie, modestie, and chastitie, & yet thēselues will follow drun­kennesse, foule & lasciuious speeches, gestures, and actions: it is as if with their tongues they should say: be vertuous, and by the hands leade them with them to all vice and corruption. So that wicked parents are wicked counsellers to their children. If we would take him to bee a Monster in nature, and vnworthie to liue in a Common-wealth, that should counsell his childe to drunkennesse and fornication: what shall wee thinke of those, who committing such iniquitie, do by their example much more mightily put forward their children to such a­bomination, then by word they are able? What account can those parents giue vnto GOD, who by their euill example, haue drawne into Hell their children, whom he deliuered to their charge to be guided into heauen? Albeit such parents pitie not themselues, yet at last let them take pitie of their children, and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction. Such parents then deserue grieuously to be reproued, as shall vse any lewd speeches, or shamelesse behauiour in briefe, any worldly or carnal acti­ons, in the presence of their children, to whom [Page 263] their example may be as a dispensation, to giue themselues to the like. As also, how can they forbid that in their children, which they them­selues do commit? How can they correct them for the faults, which they themselues vse? Albe­it children, in respect and reuerence to their pa­rents, dare not reply and say, that themselues doe these things, for the which they reproue them: yet will the neighbours or others, obiect it to their shame. Besides, their authoritie shal be so much the lesse, in that they declare in their works and actions, that they allow that which they forbid in words. If parents therefore de­sire that their instruction may be effectuall, and yeeld fruit, let them declare the same in holy life & vertuous conuersation: let them so order and gouerne themselues, that their children see­ing the same, as it were in a glasse, may bee re­strained frō dishonest speech & wicked deeds.

Let them do as guides, that shew the right way ouer foordes and riuers, by going before those whom they leade: that their children fol­lowing the steps and examples of their parents, may conforme themselues to their vertues, and so with them, and by them, be led to saluation, and life euerlasting.

For this cause Moses gaue commandement vnto the Iewes, Deut. 6.5.6.7. & 31.13. y ^t the law might be kept in their families, that they might prosper in al that they went about. 2. Sam. 6.11. Whē Obed-edom had receiued the [Page 264] Arke of God into his house, which signified true religion, 1. King. 17.10. &c. 2. King. 4.1. &c the Lord blessed him and all his household. When the widdow of Zarepthah in the dayes of Eliah, and the other widdow of Israel, in the dayes of Elisha, had receiued the Prophets of God into their houses: how migh­tily & mercifully the Lord prouided for them, who is ignorant? When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health, the Ru­ler beleeued and all his familie. Iohn 4.53. Luke 19.9. After Zacheus had receiued Christ into his house, and was conuerted: saluation came to the same house­hold. Act. 10.44. To be short, when Cornelius the Centu­rion embraced the Gospell, his familie also be­leeued and were baptized, and the holy Ghost fell vpon them all, which heard the preaching. And how well that house was ordered, 2. Tim. 1.5. & 3.15. where Timothie was brought vp, his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witnesse.

And this is also a point worthie to be remem­bred, that whereas the Lord by his Prophet E­zechiel, Eze. 10.20.21. calleth the children of the Israelites, which they had begotten, His children, because they were partakers of the promises, & signed with the seale of his couenant. And the Pro­phet calleth them, Psal. 127.3. The inheritance of the Lord.

Such parents therefore, as bee Christians, must know, that their children are also the chil­dren of God, and partakers of those blessings [Page 265] that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour: and therefore that they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe, whose children they are, if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare.

And much more, if they, as before time, See more of this point in the Treatise of the vse and necessitie of catechising. ma­ny haue done, bequeath them, and in a maner consecrate and sacrifice them to the seruice of men, by thrusting thē into Abbeyes, Muncke­ries, Frieries, Nunneries, and Seminaries, there to bee brought vp, and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance and errour, in supersti­tion and idolatrie.

The second poynt is, The second point. that fathers and mo­thers, doe nourish and traine vp their children in shamefastnesse, hatred of vice, and loue of all vertue.

They bee charged by the fift commande­ment, to feed, to nourish, Esay. 28.10. Deut. 6.20. Exod. 12 26. and 13.14. The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to nourish them soberly, to keepe them vnder obedi­ence, and to teach them good manners and to bring vp their children, to teach them the principles & seeds of christian religion: to see they learne the Ca­techisme, to teach them to praise God before and after meales, as also to teach them by little and little, & by often repetitions, to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted: to teach them manners, how to behaue them­selues decently in their going, in their speaking, and gesture of their bodies: how to order them selues reuerently in the Church: how abroad in all places, and towards all men, in all honest [Page 266] companies: and so to begin some conscience in them. For it were better for children to bee vnborne, then vntaught.

Now contrary to this, is, when parents suffer their children to haue their will from the begin­ning: when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie, and by being too hastie with them: when they let the common ignorance of the word to be rooted in them, and haue no care to frame them to learne truth and godlinesse, and so to prepare them to be apt to receiue profit from the publike Ministrie.

Pro. 23.13. & 19.18. & 29.15.17. & 22.6.15. & 13.24.It is therefore meet that all fathers and mo­thers, if they wil haue ioy of their children, that then they correct them when they doe amisse, and keepe them in shamefastnesse, hatred of vice, and loue of all vertue, according as the holy Ghost counselleth by the mouth of the wise man in sundry places.

For as the common Prouerbe is: Byrch breaketh no bones: neither moderate correction bringeth danger of death: but oftentimes it bridleth & keepeth backe the child, that other­wise would runne headlong into hell, and so is a meane to saue his soule.

For the fountaine of all vertue, and chiefe of all mans felicitie, is good instruction, and right bringing vp. And contrariwise, children euill brought vp, bring shame & great heart breake to their parents. As old Elie was corrected him­selfe, [Page 267] for not correcting his sonnes, 1. Sam. 2.12. & 3, 12.13.14. & 4.11. 1. King. 1.5.6. 2. King. 2.23.24. which is a notable example, necessarie for all parents to imprint in their hearts, that they may see their children well taught and corrected, least they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon them, as did vpon this Elie, who honoured his children aboue the Lord, and therefore the Lord cut him and them off. For the comfort hee had of his sonnes, was this, the Arke (the witnesse of the Lords presence) was lost: thirtie thousand of the people slaine, his two sonnes Hophni and Phinehas killed: who when newes thereof came to him, for sorrow fell backeward, and brake his necke: vpon this his daughter in law, fell in trauell, and in trauell died: the rem­nant of his house was glad to craue & beg for a small peece of siluer, and a morsell of bread.

Also the two and fortie children, 2. King. 2.23.24. that moc­ked Elisha the Lords Prophet, saying: Come vp thou bald head, were rent in peeces with Bears. Thus we see that children vntaught, and vn­chastised, bring shame and confusion to their parents.

Let them therfore alway remember this, How children should be brought vp. that they prouide and bestow diligent labour, that their children be forthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse, Hold thy chil­dren in awe, and they shall haue thee in reuerence. whilst their wits are yet voyd from cares & vices: and whilst their age is ten­der and tractable, and their minds flexible, and readie to euery thing, who then will keepe [Page 268] fast good lessons and vertuous precepts, if they be taught them. For this is certaine, that we re­member nothing so well when we bee olde, as those things we learne in yong yeares.

It shall be conuenient and profitable there­fore to handle the waxe straightway while it is moyst: to season those earthen vessels with ve­ry good liquor whilst they are new: to dye and litte the wooll while it is faire and white, and not defiled with any spots. The Emmets, or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes, Pro. 30.25. & 6.6.7, 8. in summer, whereby they should liue in winter. Bees learne not to make their cels, to gather iuyce, and to make honey: but all these things bee done by instruction of nature. So euery liuing thing, the lesse meete it is to learning, so much the more it hath of natiue prudence. But man neither can eate, nor goe, nor speake, except he bee taught. Then if fertile fields, for want of tillage waxe barren: if trees being neglected, either bring forth no fruite, or else the same vnsauourie, without dili­gence or grafting and pruning: if dogs be vn­meete to hunt, the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough, except mans diligence be put thereto: how wilde then and vnprofitable creatures would children become, except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp? What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught, [Page 269] his horse well broken, his land well husbanded, his house goodly trimmed, & richly furnished: and yet to haue his childe shamely rude in ma­ners, and altogether voide of al garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse? What a great follie and madnesse is this, for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions, and to haue no regarde of his childe for whom the same is gotten? Which is no lesse shame to heare, then if a man taking thought for the shooe, would set nought by the foot: or with great care and studie would pro­uide, that there should be no fault in the childes garment, not regarding the health of his bodie. This is (as the common saying is) To be penny­wise, and pound-foolish: to saue a sticke, and burne a house: to saue a ioynt, and lose the bo­die. But oh vaine man, hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne a faire building, and full of lands, then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse, and so leaue him a vertuous con­science? Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him, Mat. 6.19. with rust and moth to be con­sumed, then for to teach him the knowledge of God, which will not canker, but last for aye? Most parents (a pitifull thing to remember) be louing to the bodies of their children, but their soules they care not for: they desire their wel­fare in this world, but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come. Yea, fathers [Page 270] prouide lands, rents, reuenues, great annuities, fees and offices, for their children here: but a­las, few prouide or bee carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue, and the feare of God. For the losse of their liues and bodies, they will sore bewayle and much lament: but the health and saluation of their soules, they make no reck­ning of: if they see them poore and sicke, they sorrow and sigh: but though they see them sin, and greatly displease God, they are nothing grieued. It behooueth, that parents doe care­fully obserue, vnto what vices their children are most inclined, and s [...] by good meanes to ad­monish and draw them from the same. As pa­rents be carefull to prouide temporal things for their childrens bodies, which are transitorie: so much more carefull ought they to prouide spirituall things for their soules. And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water, when they be young: so much more they ought to take care, that their soules be not poysoned with vices, and false and erronious doctrine, when they come to yeeres of discretion: and this is the most acceptablest seruice that they can doe to God. Psal. 132.1. Mat. 12.33. Children are called the fruit of their parents. Therefore, as a good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit: so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children, which are their fruit. For like as fruitfull fields for lacke of [Page 271] tillage, waxe barrē: or as trees, being neglected, eyther bring forth no fruit, or else the same vn­sauorie, without the diligence of grafting and pruning: or as dogs bee vnmeet to hunt: the horse & oxen vnapt to the plough, except mans diligence be put thereto: euen so, how sauage and vnfruitfull creatures would children be­come, except diligently, and in due time, they should be fashioned, by good and vertu­ous bringing vp.

To teach a child in the trade of his way, as Salomon commandeth, Pro. 22.6. which is, not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse, but also vnto all other humane duties: Reasons. wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents, and they are bound to doe it. For who should teach and in­forme the child, but they which haue the go­uernment and commanding of him? But it is well knowne, that parents onely haue the go­uernment and commanding of their children, or such as they shall procure for their better e­ducation, and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them, & they must looke vnto it. A­gaine, this is apparant euen by the generall law of nature, which hath taught y ^e very bruit beasts to bring vp their yong. And further, this dutie is yet enforced from the oportunitie of the thing commanded. For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment, and thriue better in the soyle where it first grewe or sprung vp, [Page 272] then in any other ground, because it liketh his owne soile best: so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their pa­rents, whom they best like, and from whom they had their first being, then from any other: and therefore you parents are in fault, if your children bee not well taught. For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the child, is naturall and kindly, no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dugge: you shall sooner be heard of your children, then ey­ther the sage counsell of the ancient, or the for­cible and mouing speech of the learned. Lastly, the rule of iustice doth require, that euen as the first parent Adam, Gen. 5.3. and so all other after him, haue beene a meane of falling to al their poste­ritie, in the begetting of children in their owne image, which according to the law of creation, should haue beene borne Gods Image: so now in lieu of this, al parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe, & neuer cease, vntill they see in some measure, the beautie of the first I­mage, & the vertue of the second Adam. This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture, as amongst other, these doe proue. Deut. 4.9. and 11.18.19. Ephes. 6.4. Psal. 78.5. And be­cause this dutie of parents, is many times com­mitted to Schoolemasters, to Masters of Fa­milies, to Dames, to Patrones, and Guardi­ans, and such like: they must therefore [Page 273] vnderstand, whosoeuer they be, that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie, to per­forme and to do the dutie of parents, to all such as are committed to their charge, as if they were their owne children.

Now, the vices which some parents commit, in not performing these duties before and after named, and ought of them to bee eschued, are these.

1. First, the ignorance of the parents: as if they be so rude, that they bee not able to teach their children, then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a dutie: and there­fore they must indeuour to get so much nour­ture and knowledge, as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them.

2. The second vice is, the prophanenesse of many parents, who, so they may prouide liueli­hood and necessaries for their children, they care for no more.

3. The third vice is committed, of such poore parents, which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their chil­dren, so they may haue meate & drinke ynough, and wages thereto competent, and are neither back-beaten, nor belly beaten, as they say. Alas, such poore children, while they serue for their bellies, they may loose their soules, because they want godly maisters and dames, to giue them wholesome instruction, to holde them in by [Page 272] [...] [Page 273] [...] [Page 274] good example, and to gouerne them continu­ally in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all Parents learne, that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their chil­dren, as are godly and religious, wise hearted, such as are both able and wel disposed, to traine vppe youth in all good nourture, and Gods seruice: and not onely this (for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents) but also they must so oftē, as conueniently they may, repaire unto them, and see how they profit, and holde them vp by their good counsell, and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them, to bee good vnto them, in this chiefe poynt aboue the rest. For (as Salomon saith:) Life and death is in the power of the tongue: Pro. 18.21. so wee may well say, life and death is in the edu­cation of our children. If they be well brought vp, it shall be life vnto them: but if it be other­wise, they are trained vp to euerlasting death.

4. The fourth vice is, the fault of many mai­sters and dames, who make no further recken­ing of their seruants, then they do of their brute beasts▪ For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them, they care for no more, and they will teach them no further, then may serue for their owne turne and benefit: that is, to be a profitable seruant vnto them. Such mai­sters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell: and the life of such youth, dieth [Page 275] while it shooteth vp. All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God, because they are contrary to good nourture and godly in­struction. Parents must bee very carefull, that their children may learn some occupation, or profession of life: and this is either mechanical, which wee call handicraft: or liberall, which is the learning of schooles: and the end of this is, eyther to get their liuing honestly, and in Gods ordinance, or else if they want no maintenance, to apply their profession and trade to the bene­fit of the Common-wealth. No child of what birth and stocke so euer he bee, ought to want this instruction and bringing vp. If thou say, my childe hath no need of any trade: yet the Common wealth and Gods Church haue need of him, for no man is borne for himselfe, but his friendes will require one part, his kindred ano­ther, and his countrie the third. And if handi­crafts like thee not, thou hast the liberall Scien­ces, of which no man euer was yet ashamed, but many haue made them their crowne of glo­rie. Saul was anoynted King, while he was see­king his fathers Asses: 1. Sam. 9.2. &c. and 16.11. Psal. 78.70.71. 1 King. 19.19. Amos. 1.1.2. and Dauid was taken from the sheepefolde, to feede with his wise­dome, and gouerne with his prudence that ho­nourable people of the children of Israell. And againe, wee reade that those two famous Pro­phets, Elisha and Amos, the one was called from the plough, and the other from keeping of [Page 276] beastes: which examples doe plainely teach vs, that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life, bee it neuer so meane, but crowneth it with his blessing, to drawe all good mindes to his holy ordinance. But now a daies, such is the pride of our harts (a thing to bee la­mented through all our land) that many gen­tlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade. Oh it is too base and beggerly for them: they must liue of their lands, they must main­taine their gentrie: a small learning will serue their turne: but in the meane while, this ordi­nance of God is neglected, what misery from hence ensueth? Who are the wasters of patri­monies? Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common wealth? Who are the deflowrers of maidens? Who are the defilers of matrones? Who are the corrupters of youth? and to speake in one word, who are the seedes-men of al mis­chiefe in our countrie, but these children of gentlemen, who haue not been taught & train­ed vp in learning, or some occupation, while they were young? For euen as a weed, if it grow in a rancke soyle, wil waxe out of measure noy­some: so these children comming of honorable and worshipful parents, brought vp, in ease, and pampered with the delights of gentrie, they waxe immeasurably vicious, and who may keepe them vnder? neyther lawes, nor Magi­strates, nor any other good meane.

First, Good man­ners in speech Parents must teach their children to vse faire speech, not onely towards themselues, but also towards others, and to call their betters by a reuerent and an honourable name: 1. Sam. 25.24. Mar. 10.17. Pro. 16.24.

Secondly, to speake modestly and humbly of themselues, and this poynt of good manners, they may learne of that wise matrone Abigail, in 1. Sam. 25.41. where we reade, that when she was sent for of Dauid, to bee his wife, shee first bowed her selfe to the seruants, and then made this lowly answere to him that brought the mes­sage: Beholde, let thine Handmaide be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord.

Thirdly, to admonish them, louingly to sa­lute their frends and acquaintance, and general­ly all others, whom they take to bee christians and bretheren: which consisteth in praying wel to others, wishing health and prosperitie vnto them: Luke. 1.28, 40. 1. King. 1.27.

Fourthly, to put thē in mind, to acknowledge a benefit, where they haue receiued it, with gi­uing of thankes: Eccles. 29.16. Genes. 30.37.

Fiftly, to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed, with humble crauing of pardon. An example hereof, they may haue in that vertuous and faire spokē matrone Abigail, as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25.23. &c. Oh that men and children sawe what great daungers they drawe vpon them by the neglect of this [Page 278] dutie, and might preuent it: and also what gra­tious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others, by meanes of it, as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding innocent blood: saued her own life, with the liues of her familie, and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife, for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter.

Againe, Parents must teach their children good manners, and ciuill behauiour, to rise vp to their betters, to vncouer the head? to make obeysance, to bee curteous towardes their e­quals, to bee gentle and lowlie to their inferi­ours, and louing and kinde to all: this is no lesse needfull for youth, then their meate and their drinke.

Also to admonish them, to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them: Iob. 32.4.5. That they keepe silence while their bet­ters are in place, vntill they be spoken vnto: and then they must make answere in few words, without vnnecessary circumstances, and direct­ly vnto the matter. And they may not be loude, babling, or hotte in speech, but colde and milde: Pro. 17.27. Warne them, that they do not interrupt or trouble others while they are in speaking Pro. 29.20. Wherefore, if children wil keep the bounds of good maners, they must not be streporous or troublesome in talke, but they must obserue and take their due time and [Page 279] course, and if there bee any thing spoken, vnto which they would willingly make aunswere, they must eyther courteously craue leaue of him that speaketh, or else they must carrie it in remembrance, vntill their turne commeth to speake, which is the better of the twaine. And further, they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others: and so suffer others to speake by them: for there is a time to keepe silence, and so to heare others speaking, for hee that will haue all the talke, passeth the boundes of good man­ners.

Moreouer, Good man­ners in gesture Parents ought to teach their chil­dren, how to frame their gesture to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others, which consisteth in these poynts.

1. The first is to meete those that are com­ming towards them. And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham, Genes. 18.2. where it is said: And hee lifted vp his eyes and looked, and loe, three men stood by him, and when hee sawe them, hee ranne to meete them from the tent doore. Againe, another example they may haue in King Salomon, sitting vppon his regall throne: 1 King. 2.19. Bathsheba therefore went to King Salomon, to speake vnto him for Ado­niiah, and the King rose, to meet her.

2. The second is, to rise vp to elders and betters, when they passe by them. And this is taught Leuit. 19.23. Thou shalt rise vp before the [Page 280] hoare head, and honour the person of the olde man, and dread thy God, I am the Lord. But heere wee must warne you of a great abuse, which for the most part is committed in all Churches, and which tendeth to the high dis­honour of God: which is this, that neyther you your selues, neyther your children, nor seruants, do knowe the time of your duties: but you will then rise vp to men, when both you and they should kneele downe to God: as if one that is more honorable among you, shall come into the church, while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God, presently you start vp, and leaue God to reuerence men. Is this religion? is this deuotion becomming Gods house? is not this all one, as if a man should say, stay GOD, heere comes in my father, my maister, my wor­shipfull neighbour, and my good friend, to whom I am much beholden, I must doe my dutie vnto him, I must rise vp till hee bee past, and then I will come to thee againe? What is this but to preferre men before God? this doing plainely sheweth, that such are louers of men, more then God: and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them, are rob­bers of Gods honour, and they shall answere him for it. Is there no time to shewe our dutie towards men, but euen then, when wee are about Gods seruice? Why, know thou, when man standeth before God, how honourable [Page 281] so euer hee bee, hee is but dung and filth, and not to bee regarded: and let Parents learne this wisedome, that while they are taught their duties towards men, it is not to robbe God of his worship: but there is an appoynted time to euery dutie and purpose: as Ecclesiastes in his third chapter well admonisheth: Eccles. 3.1. To all things there is an appoynted time, and a time to euery purpose vnder the heauen. It is recorded of Leuie, to his eternall praise: Deut. 33.9 that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother: I see him not, neither kn [...]w he his bretheren, nor his owne children: euen so beloued, our eyes and our minds, & deuotions, should be so fixed and intent vpon God, when wee are in his seruice, that wee should not see or regard any man in that while. And againe, we reade in the second chapter of the Gospell after S. Iohn, of our Saui­our himselfe, who though he was the most du­tifull childe that euer was borne of woman, yet when hee was about his fathers businesse, hee saith vnto his mother: Woman, Ioh. 2.4. what haue I to do with thee? which examples will teach vs, that when we are a bout Gods seruice, all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart.

3. The third dutie of good manners, to bee obserued in their gesture, is to stand while their betters are sitting in place: example of this wee haue in holy Abraham, of his enter­taining of the two strangers, as it is written Gen. [Page 280] [...] [Page 281] [...] [Page 282] 18.8. And he tooke butter and milke, and the calfe which hee had prepared, and set before them, and stood by himselfe vnder the tree, and they did eat. Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull, for giuing his children so good example.

4. Their fourth dutie is to bend the knee, in token of humilitie and subiection: example of this Mar. 10.17. 1, King. 2.19.

4. The first thing is, that they giue the chiefe place to their betters, and to offer the same to others in curtesie. 1. King. 2.11. Luke. 14.8.9.10. Pro. 1 [...].33. and 16.18.

6. Their last dutie, is, to vncouer their head. And though wee finde no example for this in holy scripture, as beeing not vsed in those for­mer times: yet seeing the thing is ciuill and comely, and one of the speciall curtesies of our daies, we will confirme it also with the au­thoritie of Gods word: Phil. 4.8. Whatsoeuer things are honest whatsoeuer things are of good report, those things do. And again, 1 Cor. 14, 40. Let all things be done decently, and according to order. But this kind of ciuilitie is both decent and according to order, as also honest and of good report: and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word, and so worthy to be followed. Therefore if our children bee not thus trained vp in nurture, while they be yong, when they be olde, they shall be found so head-strong, [Page 283] that they will not be gouerned, but this consequent must needes follow, that all order shall bee taken away, and then confusion must needs ensue. For if nourture be neglected, then our elders and gouernours shall not bee reue­renced: if they be not reuerenced, they will not be regarded: if they be not regarded, they will not be obeyed: and if they be not obeyed, then steps in rebellion, and euery one will do what he listeth.

These vices and great abuses, are to bee re­formed, and with speede amended, not onely of many parents and maisters themselues, but also that they labour with all diligence, that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants: first, the grosse ignorance in the grounds of christian religion, which yet re­maineth in any Parents, Maisters, and their fa­milies, who giue themselues to sleepe in the church, to talke one with another, to turne o­uer their bookes there, and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or praiers, in the time of pub­like preaching and prayer, all which no doubt are greeuous sinnes and transgressions: and be­sides many absent thēselues from holy exerci­ses, and specially vppon the Lords day, then ly­ing in their beds, haunting of Ale-houses and tauernes, riding and going abroad about their worldly affaires, for pleasure and profit, beeing also wearie whilst they be present at prayers and [Page 284] preaching, seldom do they preuent or come be­fore prayers, nay many come in the midst there­of, to the great disturbance of the same, and o­thers that are there: and some againe before the sermons are ended: other some after the prayers made, and before the singing of the Psalmes, and the vsual blessing to be pronounced, depart thence, whereof they as wel as those that tarrie, should bee partakers, posting also out of the church, as it were from a play, or may-game, as though they supposed, that no more reuerence should be shewed there, then in other places or that some part of diuine seruice belonged vnto them, and not vnto other some whereas in very trueth, euery one ought to be alike partakers of the whole. And how should wee looke for any goodnesse from God, where this, that is the seede of all sinne, and the nurse of al abhomina­tions raigneth and swaieth so much?

Let such as are fathers and mothers, and haue children, know in what sort they must be carefull for them. Their children are a good blessings of God, they be members of the body of Christ, Math. 16.14. and the sonnes of God. The kingdome of heauen belongeth to thē. God hath appoyn­ted his Angels to guide and leade them, and to shield them from euill: and their Angels bee in the presence of God, and do behold the face of their father which is in heauen. They be fresh plants of the church. Who knoweth what ne­cessary [Page 285] instruments they may be in the house of God? It is not ynough to feed them, to cloath them, & to nourish their bodies with necessarie sustenance. For the heathen doe this, which know not God: and the sauage & brute beasts, and the birds, which haue no vnderstanding: they breed vp their young ones, and are tender and painful to prouide for thē. The Asse though she be dul, the Beare and Lyon, though they be wilde and cruell, yet seeke they far and neare, to get wherewith to helpe their young. There­fore, if there be any, or can bee any, which doth forsake and leaue his own, hee is more beastly then the foolish Asse, and more vnnaturall, then most cruell Beares and Lyons, and Tygers.

But in this behalfe, men are for the most part ouer-carefull. For this cause many builde their houses with blood, and seeke possessions by iniquitie: they ioyne house to house, and field to field, and will dwell alone vpon the earth: Esay. 5.8. they oppresse the poore and needie, and doe wrong to the Widdow and the fatherlesse: they make money their God, and spoyle one another: and all to prouide for the children. This is the couer and cloake for all their mischiefes, they may not leaue their children vnprouided for. Vnhappy are such fathers, which in this sort care for their children, Esay. 33.1. by the ruine and spoyle of the needie and innocent, and so breake the commandement of God: because their [Page 186] portion shall bee with the wicked, in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone. And vn­happy are their children, because they are par­takers of their Fathers wickednesse, and there­fore shall also be partakers of punishment with them. Psalm. 37.35.36. The Prophet Dauid saith: I haue seene the wicked strong, and spreading himselfe like a greene Baytree: Yet hee passed away, and loe, he was gone, and I sought him, but hee could not be found. His roote was deepe, his stocke strong, his braunches broad, hee spread ouer and sha­dowed the whole countrie: yet he passed away. He departed, his sonnes died, his house soone decayed, and his name was in little time quite forgotten.

Oh, how much better then is it, to furnish the mindes of your children, and to instruct them in godlinesse, to teach them to know God, to leade their life vertuously, and to rebuke them, and chastise them for ill dooing.

Psalm. 111.10. Pro. 9.10.The beginning of wisedome, is the feare of God. Let them then learne, what that good and acceptable will of God is. Shewe them the way in which they should walke, that they go neither to the right hand, Psalm. 19.7.8.6. and .119.6.105. nor to the left. The word of God is pure, and giueth vnderstanding to the simple: it is a light to their footesteps: it teach­eth those that are young to amend their waies. For children by nature are darkenesse, and can­not see except they bee lightned with Gods [Page 287] word. And therefore Salomon saith: Pro. 22.6. Catechise a childe in his youth, and hee will remember it when he is olde. This is the right blessing, which fathers & mothers giue to their children, when they cause God to blesse them too.

When Christ came into Ierusalem the yong children receiued him. Math. 21.15.16. They cried Osanna to the sonne of Dauid: Blessed is he that commeth in the name of the Lord. Christ giueth witnesse of them: By the mouth of babes and sucklings, Psal. 82. hast thou set foorth thy praise. The words of the litle and simple children, were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharisees. Thus were they taught from their cradle, so carefull were their godly parents for them.

Contrariwise, they cannot haue any wise­dome, that despise the law of the Lorde. They become blinde and wicked, and abominable in all their waies. They haue no sence nor feeling of the will of God. They cannot knowe light from darkenesse, nor God from Belial. 2. King. 23. 2. Sam. 15.1. &c. Such were the children that derided Elisha, as also Absolon, whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition, that hee went about to depose his father from his king­dome. 1. King. 1.5. So also his brother Adoniiah vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid.

Another care, which a father ought to haue of his children, is tt traine them vp in studie and vertue, and of a godly life. Math. 5.8. Blessed are the pure in [Page 288] heart, for they shall see God. They which keepe not this way, are the children of wrath. Heerein standeth the whole profession of a christian life. For God hath not called vs to vncleannesse, but vnto holinesse. 1, Thess. 4.7. This is the will of God, and this is our promise made vnto him, that wee serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse al the daies of our life, Luk. 1.74.75. that we increase in vertue, and growe from grace to grace.

A wise and louing father, which sendeth his sonne to a daungerous iourney, either by sea or land: first instructeth him with aduise, and telleth him in what sort he shall auoyde periles. Take heed (saith he) y ^t way is daungerous, which thou must passe. The sea is terrible, the waues rise vp as high as heauen, and by and by, thou shalt see a pitte as lowe as hell. The sandes may swallow thee, y ^e rockes may destroy thee. Thou shalt passe by huge mountaines, and through a wildernesse, where theeues wil assault thee. Thy heart wil quake. Thou shalt crie for succour, and finde no man to helpe thee. In these and these places, hath many a good mans childe beē cast away. Oh take heed (my sonne) thou art the staffe, and the comfort of mine age. If ought come to thee otherwise then well, I shall come end my daies in sorrow.

If a father bee thus carefull that this childe should escape worldly dangers: hee must be carefull of spirituall daungers, in which whoso­euer [Page 289] is lost, is lost for euer. Therefore, thus, or to this effect, will he say to him: Oh my sonne vn­derstand what God hath done for thy sake. Take heede to thy selfe. 1 Pet. 5.8. Iam. 4.7. Pro. 18.10. Psalm. [...]0.15. The world is all ouer strawde with snares. The diuell raungeth and seeketh whom he may deuoure. Giue no groūd to him: but resist him, and hee will flie from thee. Be strong in faith. The name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence. Call vpon him in the day of thy trouble, and he will deliuer thee. He will giue thee of his spirit. Take heede my sonne, and bee not deceiued: let no wilfulnesse cast thee away. If sinners intice thee, be not a companion of them in wickednesse. Pro. 1.10.11. Rom. 12.2. 1. Ioh. 2.15. Fashion not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world: for the world passeth away, and the lust thereof. He that loueth this world, the loue of God is not in him. Be not like vnto them that perish. Psalm. 51.5. Ephe. 2.3. Col. 1.12, 13. Thou wast conceiued and borne in sinne. Thou art by nature the child of wrath: but God made thee meete to be partaker of the inheritance of the Saints in light, and hath deliuered thee frō the power of darknes: and hath translated thee into the kingdome of his deare sonne. 2. Cor. [...].1. Rom. 13.12. Receiue not this grace in vaine: but cast away the works of darknesse, and put on the armour of light. Be renued in thy heart, and in thy spirit, that it may appeare I haue bin carefull for thee. Thus a carefull father seeketh to traine vp his sonne, and to nurture him.

Now there bee some necessarie meanes and helpes, whereby godly parents may the more effectually and vertuously bring vp their chil­dren according to the directions before spoken of, as these.

First, not to suffer their children and youth to haue their owne will. For Salomon saith, Prou. 11.20. They that are of a froward heart, are abomination vnto the Lord. And againe, in the 29. chapter, vers. 15. A childe set at libertie, maketh his mother ashamed. But what will some be readie to answere in this case? Oh hee may be broken of that time enough afterwards. But what saith the Wiseman, Eccles. 25.27. Giue no passage to the waters, no not a little. The heart of a childe is as the violent waters. And as those which haue experience in keeping and repairing the sea bankes, can easily tell vs, that if the raging waues should be suffered to break ouer but one tide, they should hardly in many daies recouer it againe: so if thou sufferest thy childes affections to haue the full swinge and course, yea but a small season, thou shalt hardly or neuer againe winne this breach.

2. The second meanes is, moderation in diet, not to pamper children with too much meate, or that which is delicate; but to giue thē that which is holesome and sufficient, and no more. For excesse breedeth diseases, both in bodie and minde, maketh them gluttons and [Page 291] drunkards, consumers of patrimonie, and this vice draweth a thousand more with it: and euen as the fattest soyle bringeth foorth the rankest weedes; so pampered children brought vp without due gouernment and discipline, thrust forth the greatest and most ouergrowne vices.

3. The third helpe is, not to clothe them with costly apparell, or to attire them with new fashions. For this againe is contray to the na­ture of paines and labour, and stirreth vp pride. For euen as the soft flaxe soone catcheth holde on the fire: so youthfull nature will soone bee inflamed with this vice, as lamentable experi­ence too much teacheth at this day. For from whence commeth this disguised & monstrous apparell, but from wanton and dissolute edu­cation of youth? This is the speciall sinne of England, and if any thing bee the ouerthrow of it (which God for his mercie turne away) it will be this: the land is too heauie of this sinne. For the pride of al nations, and the follies of al coun­tries are vpon vs, how should wee long beare them? How art thou fallen from heauen, Esa. 14.12. Zeph. 1.8. ô Lu­cifer, sonne of the morning? And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice, that J wil visit the Princes, and the Kings children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparell.

4. The fourth helpe is reprehension, or chi­ding. And this is taught, Prou. 29.15. The rod and correction giue wisedome. Where by the [Page 292] rod, is vnderstood chastisement; and by corre­ctions is vnderstood, chiding or reprehension. The want of this helpe was the vtter spoile and vndoing of Adonijah, as may be seene 1. King. 1. & 2. chapters. And here we cannot but iustly finde fault with most parents, who though they be somewhat carefull for their children while they be tender: yet when they be come to some yeares of discretion, as to fifteene or sixteene, (which time is most fit for reprehension) be­cause then by al reason it should soonest enter, and which time againe is most dangerous, be­cause then our affections are most strong in vs: oh then they be growne to mens and womens estate, they may not be reprehended, they may not be disgraced. But know thou, oh wise pa­rent, that so long as thou hast a childe, so long thou art a parent: and so long as thou art a fa­ther, so long thou must carrie a fatherly autho­ritie and power ouer him.

5. The fift helpe is chastisement, and it may well be called a helpe, because where reprehen­sion will not serue, that must helpe: and this must bee vsed in order and method, as the skil­full Phisition will not giue his strong and bitter pill before his preparatiue, least the working of it should be hindered by the stubborne and in­durate obstructions: so the wise parent in cu­ring his sonnes vices, must not strike before he hath reprehended or preadmonished: least ei­ther [Page 293] he bee too much cast downe and discoura­ged, or waxe obstinate. This kinde of phisicke, as it is more strong then the former, so it hath a more forcible and excellent working. For great is the godlinesse in that seueritie, by which the power of sinning is taken away. And againe, Salomon in the 22. of the Prouerbs, vers. 15. saith more worthily: Foolishnes is bound in the hart of a childe, but the rod of correction shall driue it away. And againe in the 13. chapter, vers. 24. He which spareth the rod, hateth his sonne: that is, he is an enemie vnto him. Wherefore know thou this, O thou father, that when thou seest thy sonne dangerously sicke with the disease of sinne, and doest not vse this helpe and remedie, which God in his holie word hath prescribed vnto thee, thou art accessarie to thy childes death, as an enemie, and his blood shall be re­quired at thy hands: because that where thou mightest haue saued him, thou hast wilfullie cast him away. For Gods loue (good parents) looke to your children. Oh that parents had lesse naturall affection, or more wisedome: for euery parent is blind in his owne children. Oh, is it not a pittifull thing, that parents should themselues make graues for their owne chil­dren, and burie them quicke without all com­passion, and thinke they doe well in it? And is it not a follie aboue al follies, that while the pa­rent layeth his hand vpon his childs mouth, to [Page 294] keepe away the colde winde, hee presseth it down so hard, that he strangleth him therwith? Thus many a father and mother in the world, haue killed their deare ones, by their inordinate loue and cockering of them, and thus manie poore infants must still be murthered, because parents will not be warned. Parents are bound by the law of nature to loue their children: for what a crueltie were it, not to loue them that they haue gotten and borne. But yet wisedome requireth that they somewhat dissemble and hide their loue (especially to those children that bee of some reasonable discretion) least they should take boldnes thereupon to doe what they list. Genes. 6.5. and 8.21. Matth. 15.19. For if we well consider of mans na­ture, that it is euill euen from his birth, we shall then finde the young childe which lieth in the cradle, to be both wayward and full of affecti­ons, which though his bodie bee but small, yet he hath a great heart, and is altogether inclined to euill: and the more hee waxeth in reason by yeares, the more he groweth proude, froward, wilfull, vnruly, and disobedient. If this sparkle bee suffered to increase, it will rage ouer, and burne down the whole house. For we are chan­ged and become good, not by birth, but by e­ducation. For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things; euen so hath Education greater vertue and strength: yea, and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp [Page 295] of children. Therefore parents must bee warie and circumspect, that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deedes of their children, done lewdly, vnhonestly, naughtily, wantonly, or shamefully, nor to kisse or commend them for so doing. For children will commonly accu­stome themselues vnto such things, as they shal see and perceiue to bee pleasing, and delightfull to their father and mother. Therefore they must correct, and sharply reproue their children, for saying or doing ill▪ and make it knowne vnto them, that they be neither wel pleased, nor con­tented with their so doing, but that it greatlie disliketh them. And againe, on the other side, let them kisse and make much of them, when­soeuer they shal see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse.

But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their chil­dren, that there is more neede in these daies, to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much, then to perswade them to loue them. For Dauids darling, was Dauids traytor. 2. Sam. 15. all, and 18.33. And this is the maner of God and his iust iudgemēt, that when any father or mother begins (as it were) to set their childe, or any thing els, in the roome of God, and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it, either to take away the child, or the thing, or els to take away the parents, be­fore they prouoke him too much. For as [Page 296] the Ape doth with too much embracings, well neere kill her young whelpes: so likewise, some vndiscreet parents, through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing, do vtterly spoyle and marre their children. There­fore, if parents would haue their children liue, they must take heede that they loue them not too much: for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he.

Ill bringing vp, is a cause of marring many which are of a good toward­nesse and wit.We may see by experience, how that many children of good wit and towardnesse, are mar­red and spoyled for want of good education, and so get those vices from their tender yeares, which all their life after doe for the most part accompanie them. For when parents doe either too much cocker their children, or by their lewd example allure them to naughtinesse, or neglect due instruction: what other thing (I pray you) can come to passe, then which wee see in trees, which from the beginning being neglected, become crooked and vnfruitfull. Contrariwise, they that are pruned, erected, or­dered and watered with the hand and cunning of the Husbandman, are made straight, fertile, and fruitfull. So that the manner of life, educa­tion and custome, are of great importance to moue to vertue. What a great follie is it in pa­rents, to toyle themselues and bee occupied in getting riches, and to bee nothing carefull for their children, for whose sake riches are gotten? [Page 297] Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage bee left vnto children, then if they bee well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age, and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie. This patrimonie re­maineth with them continually, nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune. But wee see two speciall causes, Two things which much hinder good education. why some pa­rents doe more negligently prouide that their children be instructed: to wit, too much cocke­ring and niggardship.

In cockering, mothers do more often offend, and especially those which haue but few chil­dren. These doe like as if some Husband man should refuse to till his field because hee hath but one onely. Who could suffer this mans fol­lie and peruersenesse of iudgement? Is it not much more to be tilled, because it is onely one? Yes verely, that so the profit and increase of one, may recompence the want of many: euen so, after the same sort wee iudge it to bee the dutie of mothers, so much more diligently to bring vp their children, by how much they are fe­wer. But wee see what doth let mothers, The fewer the children, the more diligent­ly to be cared for, that they bewel brought vp. that they loue their children more dearely, then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight: but this is cruel loue so to loue their chil­dren, that they should bee as it were giuen o­uer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse, of which peruerse and cruell loue, not a fewe [Page 398] shall suffer the iust punishment, which with great griefe of minde, and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngratiousnesse of their children, vnto which they doe now all too late, goe about to prouide a remedie.

The second cause, which hindereth good educa­tion.On the other side, niggardship is oftentimes greater, then that parents will bestow the cost. Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers, or horse-breakers, fooles, minstrels, dogs, hawkes, &c. that some thinke well bestowed: but if they see any thing to be spēt about instructing their children, they thinke all that ill bestowed, and are much more carefull that an horse bee well framed to vauting and leaping, then that their childe bee well instructed to vertue. This inconuenience commeth to the minds of chil­dren, if they bee not well brought vp, that they become seruile, and open to all sin and naugh­tines. For if a man leaue his field vntilled, hee shall finde it to haue brought forth fearne and thistles, and such vnprofitable weedes: after the same sort, if he shall leaue the wittes of his children vnlooked vnto, and vnexercised, hee shall be sure to reape most aboundant fruite of wantonnes and vngratiousnes.

The holie Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes; as that he that begetteth such a one, getteth himselfe sorrow, and that the fa­ther of a foole hath no ioy: Prou. 17.21. mea­neth [Page 299] it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots, and such as are destitute of common reason, al­though it is true, that is a lamentable iudgemēt of God, and a heauinesse to the parents of such a childe: as of wicked children, such as either are ignorant in the word, or not knowing how to order one right steppe to the kingdome of God: or els hauing some knowledge, abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite. For this cause, as it would griue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children, or such as ei­ther in some imperfection of nature are dis­membred, or deformed, and misfigured in the parts of their bodie: so much more should it grieue them to haue such children, as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome, cannot walke in the feare of God; or abusing the knowledge giuen them, prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse: it is marueilous how greatly parents can bewaile the wāt of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection, and how easily they can passe o­uer without any griefe, the want of all spirituall graces, springing from corrupt education.

In like maner is it strange, that men can take the matter so heauilie, when their children breake into such offences, as either haue open shame, or ciuill punishment following them: and yet can make no bones, but passe ouer such sins as are against the maiestie of God, accom­panied [Page 300] with euerlasting cōfusion, and vnspeak­able torments? Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray, but their great hypocrisie, in that neither their ioy, nor their griefe is found to their children, and that they loue themselues more in their children, then either their salua­tion, or the glorie of God: the tender loue and care whereof (no doubt) did increase the sor­row of Dauid, for the death of his sonne Abso­lon, 2. Sam. 18.33. who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne, as for that vntimely end of his son, to whom the time of repentance for his salua­tion, and the glorie of God, was denied: which happily, if he had liued, his father Dauid might haue reioyced in. Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children, and bee grieued for their ignorance, impietie, and sinnes, whereof either their carnall copulation, the not lamenting of their naturall corruption, the want of prayer and holie seede, or prophane education, armed with the wrath of God, may be a most iust occasion. Can parents hope for a holie posteritie? or doe they maruell if the Lord crosse them in the children of their bo­dies, when they make as bolde and brutish an entrance into that holie ordinance of the Lord, as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mare: when being ioyned in that honourable estate of matrimonie, either as meere naturall men, without all knowledge of God, they be­get [Page 301] their children: or as too carnall men with­out the feare and reuerence of the Lord, neither bewayling their corruptions which they recei­ued of their ancestrie, nor praying against their infirmities, which may descend to their posteri­tie, they abuse the mariage bed.

Lastly, when hauing receiued the fruit of the wombe, they haue no care, by good and vertu­ous bringing vp, to offer it to the Lord, that their childe by carnall generation, may bee the childe of God by spirituall regeneration. Surely no: and yet men looking vp to God his proui­dence and secret counsell, without all bethink­ing themselues of their corrupt generation, from which their children are descended, with­out all looking backe into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp, will fret against their sinnes, fume against their children: yea, of­ten they wil correct them, and that to serue their owne corruptions, not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God, as that they haue offended them. Christians therfore must know, that when men and women raging with boy­ling lust, meete together as brute beasts, hauing no other respect, then to satisfie their own car­nall concupiscence, when they make no con­science to sanctifie the marriage bedde with prayer, when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ, and the number of the elect, it is the iust iudgement of God to send them ei­ther [Page 302] monsters, or naturall fooles, or else such as hauing good gifts of the minde, and well pro­portioned bodies, are most wicked, gracelesse, and prophane persons.

Againe on the contrarie, wee shall finde in the word of God, that noble and notable men commended vnto vs, for rare examples of ver­tue and godlinesse, were children asked and obtained of God by prayer. Gene. 4.2.25. Our first parents Adam and Eue, being humbled after the birth of their wicked sonne Caine, obtained a righte­ous Abel: of whom, when by his bloodie bro­ther they were bereft, they receiued that holie man Seth. Abraham begetting in the flesh, had a cursed sonne Ismael, but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his couenant, he obtained a blessed Isaack. Gene. 21, 2. Iacob not con­tent with one wife, according to the ordinance of God, was punished in his children: yet after­ward being humbled, he receiued faithfull Io­seph. Gene. 30.24. 1. Sam. 29. Elkana and Hannah, praying and being cast downe, had a Samuel, that did minister be­fore the Lord. Dauid and Bethsheba lamen­ting their sinnes, 2. Sam. 22.24. obtained Salomon, a man of excellent wisedome. Zacharie and Elizabeth fearing the Lord, Luke 1.13. receiued Iohn the Baptist, a forerunner of Christ.

Looke what sinnes parents haue receiued naturally without God his great blessing, with­out prayer and humbling of themselues, they [Page 303] shall conuey them to their posteritie. And al­though the Lord graunteth sometimes ciuill gifts vnto the children of naturall and carnall men: yet for the most part they receiue their naturall sinnes. But if the children of God by regeneration, doe see in themselues, and lament their sinnes of generation, praying that their naturall corruptions may be preuented in their posterities; they shall see the great mercies of God in some measure, freeing their children from the same.

Now when thou shalt see such sinnes to be in thy children, enter into thine owne hart, exa­mine thy selfe whether they are not come from thee: consider how iustly the hand of GOD may bee vpon thee: and when thou wouldest be angrie against thy childe, haue an holy anger with thy selfe, and vse this, and such like medi­tation with thine owne soule: Lord, shal I thus punish mine owne sinne, and that in mine own childe? shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors? nay, I see (O Lord) and proue, that thou art displeased with mee, for the too carnall conception of my childe: I lay then in some sinne, I asked it not of thee by prayer: bee mercifull vnto mee (O Lord) and in thy good time shew some pitie vpon my childe.

Thus thinking thou goest about to correct nature in thy childe, which he could not helpe, arming thy selfe with prayer, repenting with [Page 304] Iacob, thou shalt bee so affected, as desirous to draw thy child out of sinne, yet with the mildest meanes and least rigor. And one thing is most wonderfull; that some will teach their children to speake corruptly, and doe wickedly whilest they are young, and yet beate them for it when they are old. Againe, some will imbolden their little ones to practise iniquitie towards others, which when by the iust iudgement of God, they afterwards exercise towards the parents them­selues, they are corrected for it. And yet deale with these, and such like men, for the euill edu­cation of their children, and they will answere: Doe not wee, as much as is of vs required? wee send our children to the church to be instructed of the Pastor: and to the schoole to bee taught of the master: if they learne, it will be the better for them: if not, they haue the more to answer for: what can we doe more? But remember, O man: consider, O woman, whosoeuer thus spea­keth, for that sins sake, and the want of prayer, there may be a plague vpon the Pastors paines, and a curse vpon the teachers trauell.

Children pro­fit more by good example in one month, then by in­struction in a whole yeare.If parents therefore would haue their children blessed at the Church, and at the schoole: let them beware they giue their children no cor­rupt example at home, by any carelesnesse, pro­phanenesse, or vngodlinesse; for whē examples are set before childrens eyes, they are easily led away to that which is euill: otherwise, parents [Page 305] will doe them more harme at home, then both Pastor & schoolemaster can do good abroad: for y ^e corrupt example of the one, fighteth with the good doctrine of the other: which is by so much the more dangerous, because that cor­rupt walking is armed with nature, and there­fore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side. And further, experience teacheth vs, that children like, or mislike more by countenance, gesture and behauiour, then by any rule, doctrine, or precept whatsoeuer.

Some there be, that will not haue their chil­dren taught, vntill they be ten or twelue yeeres old, because (as they say) at that age they haue but an apish imitation.

To whom wee answere, that although they cannot then deepely discerne, nor profoundly conceiue things: yet how many things before these yeeres, will they both receiue and remem­ber? And we demaund, if children be apish in imitating, and following that, whilst they bee young, which they will haue the habit, quali­tie or propertie of, when they be old, may they not much better doe apishly good, whiles they are young, which they may carefully doe, when they are old? besides, let them goe so vntaught, and they will grow so head-strong, that they will sooner be broken, then bended: and sure it is, that one stripe, or two words, will doe more good to a child in time, then a hundreth stripes [Page 306] afterward. And here let parents be admonished of their vndiscreet correction, who doe their children more harme, in shewing a merrie countenance, after their discipline vsed, then they doe good by their chastisement of them, whiles they doe correct them. Neyther doe we purpose to take away naturall affections, and a christian kind of compassion in all our cen­sures: for it is our great complaint of the bru­tish vnmercifulnesse of many parents herein, but we would wish Christians, to correct their vndiscreet affections herein by heauenly wise­dome. Neither are we so stoicall, as to denie a more mild and affable kind of speech, to bee both lawfully and conueniently vsed to chil­dren, and yet we wish it to be voyd of all vn­seemely lenitie, and without all shew of foo­lish, vaine and vnnecessarie behauiour.

To be briefe, how needfull household go­uernment is towards children, may appeare by the slender thriuing, & smal profiting either of religion or vertue, either in the Church or Cō ­mon-wealth. Speake men of discipline neuer so much, cōplaine they of the want of Church gouernment neuer so lowd, preach they, teach they neuer so much abroad, vnles they wil begin discipline, in reforming their houses, and giue religion some roome at home, they shall trauell much, & profit little. And surely, if men be care­full to reforme themselues first, & then their fa­milies: [Page 307] if their charge be greater then their cir­cuits and prouinces wherein the Lord hath pla­ced thē, it were the best way to moue the Lord to bestow reformation and discipline on his Church among vs: and of all meanes that now may be hoped for, this seemeth best: for of par­ticular persons, come families: of families, townes: of townes, prouinces: of prouinces, Realmes: so that conueying discipline thus from one to another, in time, & that shortly, it would come into the Church. Well (we say) let there be neuer so good lawes in cities, neuer so pure orders in churches, if there be no practise at home: if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses, & ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates & Ministers, they may in­deed, but vniustly, as many haue done, cōplaine that their children are corrupted abroad, when they were before, and are still corrupted and spoiled at home. Alas, if parents, to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp, is a precious crowne, will not informe, and re­forme their children in the feare of God, how would hope sustaine these men, that others wil performe this duty for thē, to whō this charge doth far lesse appertaine. Lastly, let parents re­mēber, that therfore they haue disordered & dis­obediēt childrē to thēselues, because they haue bin disobedient childrē vnto the Lord, & disor­dered to their parents, when they were young: [Page 308] whereof because they haue not repented, the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others, with the like sinne to themselues. Wilt thou know, thou father, how thou mayest haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed? Wilt thou thou know, thou mother, how to auoyd that curse, to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed? bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant, indeuour to make thy sonne, the sonne of God, and thy daughter by nature, the daughter of God by grace: and remember how that God, which on his part protested to father Abraham, Gen. 17.1. that he was all sufficient, for the accomplishment of his promise, in giuing him a blessed seed: and requested also on fa­ther Abrahams part, that he should walke be­fore him, and be vpright. Wilt thou then haue the one part of this? of the couenant that is, that God should blesse thee in thy seed: then re­member also, that thou walke before the Lord, and be vpright. Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seed of Abraham? teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord: pray for them with Abraham, that they may liue in the light of the Lord: be readie to offer them with Abraham, that they may bee an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou (O man) (O woman) that mayst doe thy child the greatest good, and the greatest harme: if thou prayest for him, and repentest for thy selfe, the Lord will blesse thy [Page 309] care, the Pastours paynes, and the Teachers trauell: but if thou despisest these dueties, the Lord will denie thee these blessings, and the curse of God will fall vpon thy child, at home in thy house, abroad in the Church, and in the schoole.

And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will bee thy God, and blesse thy seed, if thou beest faithfull, thou mayest both hope, that thou art of the faithfull, if thou hast a blessed seed: and feare that thou hast not as yet, the blessing of the couenant, when thy seed is ac­cursed.

Obiection. But had not Jacob wicked children, and Da­uid godly sonnes? and doth not dayly experi­ence teach vs, that wicked men haue godly children? Yes, Answere. for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein, we must know, that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall, that e­uery particular child of a faithfull man, should be within the couenant: or if of many, there be but one blessed, the promise is performed: yea, which more is, though the faithfull man haue neuer a good child, yet, if vnto the thou­sand generation, there be but one good, the co­uenant is not broken: neither must wee tie the Lord his worke, so much to man, that a good man may not haue an euil sonne, seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes, yet hee may visit the sinnes of some of his Forefathers, to the [Page 310] third and fourth generation going before. To the second (wee say) that an euill father hauing a good child, though the Lord shew not mer­cie to that particular man therein, yet hee may remember his promise to some of the Forefa­thers, in the thousand generations going be­fore: and though that an euill man haue no cur­sed child, yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generations following.

Wherefore, not speaking of election, or re­probation, which we leaue onely to the Lord, to make good or bad: we exhort parents to vse the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children, so as they, either by some good tokens may see them the children of God, and heyres of the couenant, or at least be comforted in their own conscience: if their children for some cause vn­knowne refuse it, in that to the vttermost of their abilitie, they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well, & offered them to God.

And if parents haue cause to bee grieued, when thus trauelling in good education, they cannot see good in their children, how much more cause of griefe may they haue, when they haue vsed & bestowed no labour at all, to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord? And yet ma­ny will be grieued for the one, that will not for the other. Wherefore let vs learne, if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities, [Page 311] let vs vse the duties thereunto: let vs, (if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children) carefully auoid the meanes vnto it: and surely, as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death, with Simeon to depart in peace, Luke 2.29. leauing our wiues, children, and seruants, members of Christ, spouses to Christ, children to God, and seruants to the Lord: so in death, no one thing will bee more grieuous vnto a man, then (the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to bee furthered to saluation) that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him: how, in as much as hee could, hee hath helped thē forward to their damnation: and so (which is more fearefull) he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face, continuall curses in hell, accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules, and a cut of their saluation.

The end of all this, briefly is thus much: that parents hauing fooles, children not walking ei­ther in knowledge, or in a good conscience, must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe, examining themselues, and accusing their own soules before the Lord, eyther for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate, or brutish, because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and blood, then such as might bee like to Christ by grace, and new birth, or that they begat their ofspring as meere naturall, or very carnall men: or because [Page 312] they eyther prophanely neglected all good e­ducation: or monstrously misliked that in their yong children, which they liked in themselues, and punished in them their owne corrupt pre­cepts: or for that they suffered their children in­iuriously to do euill to others, which they could not suffer to doe to themselues: or vntaught them that at home, which was taught abroad: or in that they doe lie in some sinne vnrepented of: or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation, but still loued the flesh of their chil­dren, and not their soules.

Let all Parents remember, that they are bound by the Law of God and nature, as con­cerning this bodily life, to make good and ho­nest prouision (according to their degrees) for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie. And therefore such Fathers and mothers, as consume and waste away their money and substance vnthriftily, by dicing, carding, gaming, or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes, whereby their children and familie should bee maintayned, doe very vn­naturally sinne, and breake Gods commande­ments.

The wise man sheweth parents, when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their chil­dren, that it may bring forth the fruit of life, and make them alway readie to die: saying, [Page 313] Eccles. 12.1. Remember now (saith he) thy Cre­ator in the dayes of thy youth. Youth must thinke on death betimes, to the end to liue well, and die well. As if he should say: Bee mindfull, and thinke on God in thy youth, and do not prolong or defer it vntil age, And so all their life shall runne in a line, the middle like the beginning, and the end like the middle: as the Sunne setteth against the place where it rose.

One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children, is, that they be very warie and carefull, Marriage with Papists, &c. that their sonnes and daughters doe not match in marriage, with such as are vngodly, wicked, and voyd of true religion. Which if they doe, they endanger the faith of their children, and so commit a grie­uous sinne.

For proofe whereof, let vs consider first what marriage is, & how nigh a coniunctiō the Lord hath made it. He made the woman of the mans nature, flesh of his flesh, & bone of his bones: Gen. 2.23. so that wee may not imagine, that in the out­ward and worser part, that that God which re­quired so neer a coniuction, wil suffer the mind and spirite of the husband and wife, betweene faith & superstition to be rent asunder. Therfore when God said: They shall be two in one flesh: Verse 24. We may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule, that they should bee of two one. Or that God did by so holy a Law, set free the [Page 314] holiest part, requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie, and leaue the soule and spi­rit in dissention? For as God gaue vnto both one name, as touching their earthly nature, sig­nifying their vnity, and called thē Adam: Ge­nes. 5.2. So hee gaue vnto them a likenesse in name, as they were ioyned in marriage, to sig­nifie their agreement in mind and spirit, & cal­led the one Man, and the other Woman: Ge­nes. 2.22, 23. Yea, he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge. Gen. 2.24. For this cause shall a man leaue his father & his mother, and shall leaue to his wife, and they shall be one flesh: but it could neuer be, that any vniting onely of flesh and blood, should haue found a dispensation from that Law, that bindeth mind and consci­ence. Honour thy father and thy mother: Exod. 20.12.

The holy and faithfull bond of marriage be­tweene man and wife, signifieth vnto vs, that most holy Coniunction of vs and Christ with his Church: Ephes. 5.25. Seeing that this is a Coniunction both of body and soule, then such as are christian parents, ought to bee carefull, that their children may reioyce in it, How should that marriage speed well, when the bridegrome marrieth such one, as to whō hee may not say, God speed, because she is none of Gods friends. 2 Iob. 10. 1. Cor. 7.39. But how doe they marrie in the Lord, who do marrie the Lords ene­mies. howsoeuer it liketh other to marrie their children, yet they ought to see that their children do settle them­selues, that they may knit their minds in religi­on, where they make their bodies one, that so their marriage may bee to them, as a looking-glasse [Page 315] to view and behold the loue of Christ. Saint Paul giueth this generall rule to all that will marrie, that they marrie in the Lord. And to marrie onely in the Lord, is not to be led by flesh and blood, with fauour, credit, honour, friendship, riches, or beautie: but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God, and in the fellowship of the Church of Christ, where true christians liue by one faith, professe one re­ligion, and serue one God. Now let vs a little call to our remembrance, what fruit such vne­qual marriages haue brought forth frō the be­ginning. The sonnes of God, Gen. 6.2.11. As the Iewes might not marrie with the Chana­nites, so chri­stians may not marrie with them, which are like Chananites. Gen. 24.3. and 28.1. Mal. 2.11. Ezra. 9.12. saw the daugh­ters of men, that they were faire, & they tooke them wiues of all that they liked. This aduen­turous marriage in strange religion, did so in­fect the world, that all flesh had corrupted his wayes. For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse law vnto the people of Israel, as tou­ching all the Inhabitants of the land of Ca­naan: Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes: Deut. 72.3, 4. Exo. 34.16. Surely they will turne away thy heart: 1. Kin. 11.2. Ez­ra 9.1.2. &c. and 10.1.2. &c. reade the places. We may not here thinke, that this inhibitiō ser­ueth now vnto vs, as touching Pagans, Turkes, or Infidels: but rather we must assure our selues in the trueth, and know that no people in the world are more within the cōpasse of this law, thē the papist, & superstitious idolater. The holy [Page 316] Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters, If adulterie may separate marriage, shal not idolatrie hinder marri­age, which is worse then it. and such as are of a strange religion. And how can he then permit, that wee should marrie with them? He commandeth straightly: that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing. 2. Cor. 6.14. which to doe, is as vnseemely, as an oxe and an asse to be yoked togither to plough: Deut. 22.10. And how can wee possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously, then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vn­faithfull? We are charged: To offer vp our bo­dies, a linely, a holy, and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God: Rom. 12.1. But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists, wee then shall make them one flesh with the Papists, and then we may be sure, that no corrupt sacrifice can bee a sweet smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God. Parents may not giue their daughters to a man vnsancti­fied. Gen. 34.14. Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consi­der, that the strengthning and constant stan­ding in religion of their children, is onely of God, and from God, and not of themselues, and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously, and thinke they are so well grounded & setled therein, that they cannot bee remoued and drawne frō their sound profession: yet they must beware, that they doe not tempt God, & venture their chil­dren to walke in that way, which so many haue fallen in. How can they assure themselues? that [Page 317] their children shall abide constant, and stand vpright, if they shall consent, that they may couple themselues in Marriage with Papists.

Sampson was borne by Gods promise, con­secrated to the Lord from the day of his birth, to the day of his death, made Iudge of Israel, a Deliuerer of Gods Church, and a Reuenger of his enemies, very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him, that it should be con­tinued: yet, when he would attempt to marrie one of a strange religion, he lost his honour, and became a laughing stocke vnto the enemies of God. Iudg. the fourteenth Chapter and first verse &c. and 16.4.17.18. &c.

Salomon was a wise man, Miserable is that man, which is fette­red with a wo­man, that li­keth not his religion. as euer was any before him or after him: God had indued him with heauenly gifts, and had set him vp, as a fi­gure of his Sonne Christ: yet when he had mar­ried with Pharaohs daughter, (a woman of a­nother religion, and a stranger from the Com­mon-wealth of Israel) he then fell from worse to worse, till at the last hee became a miserable Idolater. 1. King. 11.4.

What was the cause that Ahab King of Isra­el, did worse then all the Kings before him, He feareth not sinne, which doth not shun occasions, & he is worthy to be snared, which leadeth himselfe into temptation, & [...]o maketh a trap for him­selfe. Luke 11.4. a man euen sold to worke wickednes in the sight of the Lord: aboue all his idolatries, and wal­king in the most wretched wayes of Jeroboam: the Scripture layeth this to his charge, euen as his greatest sinne, that he tooke the daughter of [Page 290] the King of the Sidonians to his wife: 1. King. 16.28, 29, 30, 31. And least such parents as ei­ther haue, or hereafter shall marrie their chil­dren to Papists, should thinke their case to bee better then his, because though they marrie thē to Papists, or to Atheists, yet they doe not mar­rie them to any Pagans.

The wife must be meet, as God said, Gen. 2.18. But how is she meet▪ if the husband be a Christian, and she a Papist?Let them consider what the Scripture tea­cheth them more: Iehoram king of Iudah, hee maried neither with any Sidonian, nor Egyp­tian, neither with Pagan nor Infidell, but with one of his owne people, and of the Tribe of Is­rael: yet because she had corrupted her reli­gion in her fathers house, the Scripture sheweth this to be the cause of all Iehorams sin: He did euil in the sight of the Lord, because the daugh­ter of Ahab was his wife, 2. King. 8.18. Yea, the Scripture maketh this sin so great, that Iehoso­phat a good king, was yet defiled with it, and it is reported as a great blemish of his vertuous doings, that euer he suffered his sonne Jehoram so dangerously to marrie. 2. Chro. 18.1.

When God would blame the Idolatrie of his people of Israel, shewing both how greatly hee did hate it, and what plagues he would bring vpon them for it, he reuealed it vnto his Prophet vnder this parable, bidding him take vnto him­selfe a wife of fornications: that is, a wife full of spirituall whoredomes, such a one as a Papist is, that in such a mariage (as in a glasse) he might [Page 319] behold how loathsome the peoples Idolatries were: Hose. 1.2. &c.

Parents haue further to remember, that they haue not this rule and authority ouer their chil­dren, that they may chuse whether they will let them marrie or no, or whē they list, and whom they list; but fathers and mothers must consi­der, that they haue rule ouer their children vnder the Lord, so that the Lord is aboue them: and therefore parents must deale with their chil­dren according to the will and minde of God, which will of God is reuealed vnto vs out of his word.

Now God by his Apostle saith: To auoyde fornication, let euery man haue his owne wife, 1. Cor. 7.2. & let euery woman haue her own husband. Wher­by all parents may see, that God commandeth them to permit and suffer euery one to marrie that is disposed to marrie.

Now, if they may not forbid any man or woman to marrie, much lesse their owne chil­dren, whom if they suffer not to marrie, not ha­uing the gift of continencie, then they breake and resist Gods ordinance. For we reade, that when Isaack forbad his sonne Iacob to marrie any of the daughters of Canaan, Gen. 28.1.2. he did not re­straine him altogether from mariage, and ther­fore hee directed him, where, and with whom he should marrie.

Likewise the parents of Sampson, Iudg. 14.12.3. when hee [Page 320] asked a wife of them, did not simply forbid him to marrie, but they reproued him, for because hee would marrie an infidell, and a prophane woman. It is the pa­rents dutie to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life, to counsell or to prouide them fit and religi­ous marriages 2. Cor. 12.14. Gen. 24.2, 3, 4. Ruth. 3.1. Therefore such parents as bee godly, will haue aduised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children, and whether they can liue continent and chaste, or no: and if they shall make choise, and haue a good li­king to such as be honest, religious and godly, (hauing craued their parents consent) although they be not so rich and wealthie, as they would wish them to match with: yet they ought not to hinder, restraine, and forbid their children to marrie, onely for want of goods and sub­stance.

Parents ought to bee carefull, that their chil­doe marrie in such an age wherein they should vnderstand whom they choose, and very well perceiue what they take in hand, and that they doe not seeke to match them selues in marriage aboue their degree. And it is very expedient, that parents admonish their children, to make their choise according to their complexion and condition.

When parents doe abuse their autho­ritie.This is a most vnnaturall and cruell part, for parents to sell their children for gaine and lucre, and to marrie them when they list, & to whom they list, without the good liking of their chil­dren, Parents must not match their children onely for car­nall respects. and so bring them into bondage. And therefore if parents shal force and compell their [Page 321] children to marrie contrary to their mind and liking: then the sorrowfull children may not say, they haue maried them; but for euer they haue married and vndone them. And ther­fore to the end, When parents doe marrie their daugh­ters to men of vnderstan­ding, they shall performe a waightie worke. that marriages may be perpetu­all, louing, and delightfull betwixt the parties: there must and ought to be a knitting of hearts, before striking of hands. The places of scrip­ture, are many & diuerse, by which may plaine­ly appeare, that all godly and christian Parents, are charged by God himselfe, that they should be carefull in time, to make meet choise of hus­bands for their daughters, & fit wiues for their sonnes: amongst many, these quotations doe sufficiently prooue. Deut. 7.3. Nehe. 13.23.24. Ier. 29.6.1. Cor. 7.36.37.38. Gen. 24.12. &c. and 28 1.1. and 34.4. and 38.6.8. Iosu. 15.16, 17.2. Sam. 13.13. Iudg. 14.1, &c. Let fathers and mothers therefore, on whom this charge by God his commaundement lieth, to take wiues for their sonnes, and to prouide hus­bands for their daughters, take diligent heede hereunto, that they abuse not this their power and authoritie ouer their children, but as in o­ther cases, they are willed by the Apostle, Col. 3.21. that they do [...] not in such sort towardes them, that they hereby bee dismayed and discouraged; so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value, or all other worldly things what­soeuer: let them abstaine from all rigour and [Page 322] roughnesse, and beware that they turne not their fatherly iurisdiction and gouernment, into a tyrannicall sowernesse and waywardnesse, let­ting their will go for a lawe, and their pleasure for a reason. For the rule of Parents ouer their children, ought to resemble the gouernment of good Princes towards their subiects: that is to say, it must be milde, gentle, and easie to bee borne, for as they, so likewise Parents, so farre as concerneth them, and lieth in their abilitie to performe, they must carry such an euen and vp­right hand in their gouernment, that they may by loue seeke to win the hearts of those, ouer whom they are set, to be firme and sure towards them, and not to keepe them vnder a seruile o [...] slauish awe and subiection by too much feare, but rather by a childelike and reuerent feare, which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes, and children vnto their Parents, and which both the one and the other, easilie obtaine at the hands of such as are vnder their gouern­ment, by their equall, vpright, and moderate behauiour towards them. Parents ought to deale sin­cerely in the choise for their children. It doth therefore stand Parents greatly in hand, that in making choise for their children, they bee free from all sinister and corrupt affection, and that for lucre and couetousnesse they seeke not to thrust such matches vppon their children, as they cannot brooke, nor like well of. Yea, and in this most graue and waightie cause, it is a thing earnestly [Page 323] to be wished, In prouiding of matches for their children, Parents ought to beginne with prayer. that all christian Parents would not take this matter and businesse lightly in hand, as if it were but a toy, or a iest, but that they begin it with prayer, that in the whole acti­on, they may in such sort be directed, that they do nothing against the word of God, or vnbe­seeming the same authoritie, the which God himselfe in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them. And thus doing, God no doubt will ad a blessing vnto their godly indeuour and holy care, and worke obedience in the hearts of their children, as he framed the heart of Isaac with en­tire affection to embrace Rebeccah, whom his father Abraham had by his steward prouided for him: Gen. 22.7. &c.

The third poynt, that appertaineth to parēts, The third poynt. Examples doe much more perswade then words, yet we must liue by precepts, and not by exam­ples. is to be themselues examples of al godlinesse & vertuousnesse to their childrē. So that they must remember, that they thēselues do not say, or do anything, that is euil or offensiue, in y ^e presence of their children. For it is certaine, that children follow & learne nothing so much, and so soone, as that which they see their father & mother do, or say. For the vertue, thriuing, and prosperitie of children, are for y ^e most part wrought by the fa­thers and mothers good example and instructi­ons: and so contrariwise. For that which is done by example, the inferiours will think they may lawfully doe the like. As good examples doe edifie and vphold: so ill examples doe destroy [Page 324] and confound. For humanitie is taught by the law of Nature. If therefore Parents by their ex­ample should teach the contrary, what do they else but indeuour to transforme mē into beasts, beginning first to performe it in their own chil­dren? They must be circumspect, that their chil­dren do not fight, and iniurie one another: and if they sweare, curse, lye, or speake any bawdie or ribaldous words, or sing any filthie rymes, or vnchristian songs, thē to reprooue them sharp­ly for it. And let Parents alway labour, that their children may rather feare them, for loue and re­uerence, then for feare of punishment. For chil­dren that obey their Parents for feare of cor­rection, such commonly feare them no longer, then the stripes endureth. As the father beginneth, so it is like the sonne wil pro­ceed. Before all things, it is needfull that Parents should shew themselues vnto their children, as a manifest patterne or example, not only by not sinning and offending God any waies: but also by liuing godly, and by doing all things honestly, that so their chil­dren may looke into their liues, & peruse them­selues as in a glasse. And therefore, if Parents do giue good examples, Gal. 6.7. they shall reape the fruit thereof, on the life, behauiour, manners, and pro­speritie of their children. For children loue and delight to do, as their Parents did before them.

All christian fathers ought to be very careful, in nourishing and maintaining naturall loue and concord, amongst the children and familie, [Page 325] and in no wise to suffer any sparke of hatred to enter into their harts, Math. 18.7. least it kindle a fire in their breast: much lesse ought they themselues to cast in coales of discord among them, by vnkinde, or iniurious examples of dealing. For the state of a familie, if it be in due order, is like to a frame of ioyning worke, or building, whereof, if some one peece be out of his place, it tendeth to a dis­ordering of all the rest: and one disorder follow­ing another, all bee commeth out of ioynt, and falleth vnto confusion very dispraisable. So that Parents therefore ought to be carefull to main­taine their children in peace, concord and ami­tie. For if discord and contention be daungerous and pernitious among al men, how much ra­ther betweene brethren and sisters? Likewise, if it be hard quenching of stomacke and debate, betweene those that are not conioyned in kin­dred, it is farre more difficult to reunite brethe­ren, because enmitie among thē is mightie and strong, like Iron barres to keepe them asunder. Neyther is there any thing more slipperie or of greater efficacie to subuert a familie, then dis­sention among brethren. It is an olde saying: by concord small things do growe, but by dis­cord great things come to nought. Againe, how daungerous it is for Parents to shew more loue and affection to one childe, thē to another, except vppon iust and great cause, the example of Iacobs children doth testifie. For what was [Page 326] the originall of their enuie and crueltie executed against their brother Ioseph, Genes. 37.3. Moses there saith, that Iacob louing Ioseph better then his brethren, made him a partie coloured coate, and thereof they tooke occasion to take him, and to speake roughlie vnto him. Parents there­fore to the end to preuent like inconueniences, are to vse equalitie among their children so neere as may bee, whether in their ordinarie vsage, or in the diuision of their goods. For all men naturally are inclined, but too much to the loue of earthly goods: so the vnequall sharing and diuiding of the same, doth often­times breed great braules & pernitious debate betweene brethren and sisters. Therefore all fathers and mothers are with great diligence, to take heed what they say or do in their houses and that they doe not commit any lewde or wicked deed, whereby their children may bee moued to imitate and follow the same: neither that they vtter or speake any bawdy or ribal­dous words, or vse to sweare, or lye, in their pre­sence: for euill speakings or cōmunication (saith the Apostle) corrupteth good maners. 1. Cor. 15.33. Seruants also are to be looked vnto, and sharply rebuked, if they doe commit or shew any lewd tricke, or vnhonest behauiour in the presence of children eyther in word, deed, or gesture. For iustly bee they called murtherers, that kill their children, being new borne, and kill but the bodie. How [Page 327] great wickednesse is it then to kill the mindes of children, through euill examples? Deserue not such seruants seuerely to bee punished by law, (thinke you) that bewitch young children, or hurt their weake bodies with poisons? What then do they deserue, which corrupt the chiefe parts of Infants, with most vngratious venome: we meane, by filthie talke and lew [...]e conuersa­tion of life? yet it is a lighter matter to kill the body, then the minde and soule.

Further, Parents ought to bee circumspect and warie, that their children doe not haunt or vse euill company, or vse any vnhonest pastime. For if it bee so, that a father will not suffer his childe to come into a place where he may be in daunger to take hurt of his body, eyther by in­fection of the plague, or otherwise: how much more is hee bound to with holde and keepe his childe from comming there, where hee should hurt and poyson his soule? The last poynt. Gen. 3.19 Ezech. 16.49. Pro. 12 11. and 18.9. 1. Tim. 5.13. 2. Thes. 3.10.11. The fourth and last poynt is, that all Parents doe with all care and diligence, keepe their children from lazie Idle­nesse, a vice no doubt, out of which doe spring many inconueniences. And is condemned by the holy Ghost, in many places of scrip­ture: whereby God declareth, that hee created no man in vaine, or to no purpose, neither is there any man, vnto whō he hath not alotted, as it were, a certaine standing & roome, and a law­ful calling to walke in. Wherupon it followeth, [Page 328] that the order which God hath appoynted, is troubled by such as liue idely: yea, Gods ordi­nance is broken, which is great sinne and wic­kednesse. So then by the word of God, none ought to liue [...]idly, and to neglect his charge and dutie, but ought to giue himselfe to some profitable calling, to get his liuing by, and to do good to others. Although fathers prouide for their children great store of money, and huge heaps of treasure: yet in three or foure houres, al may be wasted and come to nought. For much euill commeth through idlenesse: It is an euill teacher, Hee that doth nothing is ill occupied, The minde of man is euer stirring and doing somwhat. If it be not doing wll, it is doing ill. As water though it be neuer so cleare and faire, fresh and comfortable: yet if it stand still in a pitte or hole, or be kept long in a vessell whence it hath no issue it will putrifie and corrupt, rotte and smell, and be vnwholesome: euen so it fa­reth with children: yea, and with all the sonnes of Adam, if they haue nothing to do, no way to bestow their witte, they will rotte, and prooue vnwholesome, and deuise mischiefe all the day long. Idlenesse brin­geth much euill. For as labour and exercise of body in one man, industrie and diligence of mind in an o­ther man, are sure Fortes and strong Bulwarkes of Countries: euen so idlenesse and negligence, are the cause of all euil, for an ydle mans braine becommeth quickly the shoppe of the diuell. [Page 329] And as in all things naturall, there is one thing or other, which is the spoyle of it: as the canker to the rose, the worme to the apple, and the ca­terpiller to the leafe: so the common spoyle to all youth, is the contrary to paines and labour, which is idlenesse. Therfore is idlenesse worthily called the mother of all euils, and step-dame of all vertues. The Prophet Ezechiel in his six­teenth chapter, verse fortie nine, teacheth, that idlenesse was one of the principall sinnes of Sodome which pulled downe fire and brim­stone from heauen vpon their heads: this idle­nesse is the diuels confederate, for euen as the traiterous seruant, while his maister is asleepe, and all things at rest, setteth open the doore for the theefe to enter in vpon him, and spoyle him at his pleasure: euen so idlenesse, while wee are not aware, lying soft vppon the pillowes of se­curitie, openeth the doore for the euill to enter into vs with full swing, to the destruction both of body & soule. S. Mathew saith, chapter thir­teene, twentie fiue verse, that while men slept, the enemie came and sowed tares among the wheate: so the fittest time that the deuill can finde to worke vpon vs, is, when we aree idle, for that is the sleepe of the soule. In the 11. chap­ter, of the 2. Sam. wee reade, that that while Dauid tarried idely at home, in the beginning of the yeare, when Kings vsed to goe foorth to battell, hee was soone ouertaken with those [Page 330] two foule sinnes of adulterie, & man-slaughter. Oh that men sawe, to how many vices and euils they shutte the doore, whē they cease to be idle, and giue thēselues to honest labours, and a law­ful calling. So long as Sampson (Iudg. 19.) war­red with the Philistines, he could neuer be takē or ouercome, but after that, he gaue himselfe to idlenesse and pleasure: he not only committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah, hut also was taken of his enimies, and had his eyes mi­serably put out. If those two which were such excellent mē, indued of God with singular gifts, the one of prophecie, and the other of strength, and such as no labour or trouble could ouercōe, were notwithstanding ouerthrowne, and fallen into greeuous sinnes, by yeelding for a short time to ease: then what crimes, what mischiefes and inconueniences, are not to be feared of thē, who all their life long, giue themselues to idle­nesse and loytering? But such hath alwaies been the peruerse incredulity of mēs hearts, that they wil not beleeue that other men haue perished, vntill they themselues perish also. If we be vtter­ly voyde of vnderstanding let vs go to the brute creatures, which want these helpes of reason & gouernment, that man hath, and learn of them: Go to the Pismire, ô sluggard (saith Salomon. Pro. 6.6.) behold her waies, & be wise: for she hauing no guide, nor ruler, prepareth her meate in the summer, and gathereth her foode in the haruest. [Page 331] What is it that filleth the prisons, and bringeth so many to the gallowes, and causeth so many Parents to lament and bewaile the vntimely death of their children, but Idlenesse? When the poore condemned wretches haue receiued their iudgement, and come to the place of executi­on, and stand on the ladder, what counsell giue they to young men, and to children, but to be­ware of idlenesse? What is the cause of such, and so many diseases in the bodie? Aske the Phisitians, & they wil tel you, Idlenesse? Where­of rise rebellions in kingdomes against Princes? Whereof rise mutinies, and mutterings in Cit­ties against Magistrates? You can giue no greater cause thereof, then Idlenesse. Christ our redeemer saith: Of euery idle word (that is vaine and vnprofitable trifles, Math. 12.36. which the most part of people spend their liues in) that men shall speake, they shal giue account thereof at the day of iudgement. If we shall make an account for idle words, what shall we do for idle hands, for idle feet, for idle bodie, for idle soule? What ac­count for all our idlenesse, especially for wicked deeds, shall we make at the day of iudgement? Seeing thē that idlenesse is so noysome & hurt­ful, let all christian parents therefore labour and endeuour to auoyd it, both in themselues, and in their children, as a plague or contagious di­sease. Therefore it is most requisit & necessary, thar Parents doe bring vp their children ey­ther [Page 332] in learning, to learne that science, which they be most apt for. Obiection. or in some occupation & han­dicraft, whereby they may get their liuing ano­ther day, and so liue the better. But some vnad­uisedly, and foolishly doe reason, saying: What neede is it for noble and rich mens children to haue learning? they shall haue ynough? Wee answere, Answere. the greater the Ship is, and the more marchandise it carrieth about, the more need it hath of a cunning Ship-maister: so the grea­ter the childe is, both by birth, and by inheri­tance, so much the more neede it is for him to be brought vp in learning, and in good litera­ture. Pro. 3.13.24.15. For learning, knowledge, and vnderstan­ding, is profitable both for rich and poore. So that (as the Grecians say:) Hee that is igno­rant and vnlearned, seeth nothing, although hee haue eyes. The life of such a one is as a tree with­out fruite, a day without Sunne, a night without moone and starres, a house without a man, and a head without a bodie. It is found by experi­ence, which the best schoolemaister, that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put to, the more skill and know­ledge he hath in the liberal sciences, so much the more sooner shall hee learne his occupation, and the more readie, and handsomer shall he [...] bee about the same. And besides this, hee that hath learning, although it bee but small, shall much better vnderstand the Preachers, and take more profit by hearing of them, to his [Page 333] great and endlesse comfort, then hee that hath no learning. Experience also teacheth vs this, that goods, riches, beautie, glorie, and health, bee vnstable, and fade, perish, passe, away, come and goe: but learning and vertue neuer stag­ger, alway bee constant. Therefore of all the charges that Parents bee about their children, that mony is best bestowed, that is layed out vppon learning: especially when they are taught to know God aright, and how hee will be serued.

It is a lamentable thing, to consider how carelesse some Parents are of their children, when they put them to the schoole, in that they make no small account and reckoning to what schoolemaister they put their children to learn, so they may haue thē taught for litle or no cost, though their children profit litle or nothing in learning, so that oftentimes they not onely be­stowe their money in vaine, but also they suffer their children to loose their time, which is a thing so precious, as it cānot be redeemed with any mony: and so to let them spend two or three yeares in learning of that, which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilful schoolemaister, learne in lesse then half this time, if there be any aptnesse & towardnesse in their childrē. Therfore let parents remember, that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne, vnlesse there bee a meet [Page 334] husbandman, to till and sow the same: so like­wise it is not ynough to finde good toward­nesse in your children, vnlesse you prouide a meete & fit Schoolemaster to further the same. And as Noble-men, and Gentlemen, are desi­rous to haue a good and skilfull hors-keeper, that can keepe their horses wel & they spare not to giue stipends to such: euen so much more ought christian Parents be desirous, to haue and maintaine a good schoolemaster, that might bring vp their children in vertue, wisedome, and good learning. And like as, if their horse be not wel brokē, or haue any euil quality, they wil be careful to see it remedied, and y ^t he may be made tractable and gentle: so likewise godly parents, ought to be much more careful, not only y ^t their childrē may by instruction be brought to some good order, but also to look y ^t there be no fault in the teacher, to whom they commit the care, to bring them vp in learning & good manners.

Why some men bring not vp their chil­dren to any good perfecti­on in learning.But alas, and with griefe be it spoken, many men now a daies, albeit they perceiue their chil­dren to be forward & apt vnto letters, and ca­pable to receiue good learning, hauing wealth and riches ynough to maintaine them thereat, yet will they not suffer them to continue there­at, vntill they come to any good perfection: some because they themselues doe not like of our state and religion: other some, because they see little preferment, and no worldly aduantage [Page 335] to follow learning, but great trouble and af­fliction: all which men in this doing, declare themselues to be irreligious, vngodly, and de­stroyers both of themselues, their children, and of all Commonwealthes and Congregations. For what publike Wealth, Towne, Cittie, or Parish, can bee well gouerned, without the Prince, Magistrate, and Preacher, bee lear­ned both in humaine, and diuine lawes? In times past, when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion, at which time men saw so many spiritual promotions (as they then called them) vnto rich Bishoppricks, Ab­beyes, Priories, Deaneries, benefices, &c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sorte to the end they might get them to be Priests, and so to say Masse, and the rest of that Idolatrous seruice, that so they might liue in ease aed idlenesse. But now they see how painefull and perilous a charge it is to preach, & rightly to diuide Gods word, and to deliuer the same freely, and faithfully, & also how vnthank­full an office and calling it is, to gouerne well a Congregation: that they had rather their chil­dren should be bound prentices to some trade, or else to follow any other profession, then that they should studie diuinitie.

When children were nothing apt to good learning, and when there was no good lear­ning to be had, no nor good teachers, yet then, [Page 336] well was he that might set his childe to schoole. But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning, as it is at this day: and learning and al good meanes neuer so plenteously florishing, beeing restored and reduced into such a facility, and a compendious cleare briefnesse: yea, neuer so good, learned, and skilfull Schoole maisters: neuer so plentie of so good and plaine bookes printed: neuer so good cheape: the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts, as it were into the mouthes of all men, and yet alas, but few there be, that wil opē their mouthes to receiue them: their eyes to see so cleare light: nor yet their eares to heare, so pure, manifest & wholesome, and heauenly doctrine, euen the word of God, the meanes of their saluation. It is therefore to be feared, that for this our great vnthankful­nesse: these so manifolde heauenly blessings shal be taken from vs, and giuen to some other nati­on, that will both be more thankfull for them, and also shew forth better fruits of christianitie, then we hitherto haue done. Oh therfore, that parents would aduisedly consider, that for want of this christian dutie of the good education of their children, is the onely cause of great mis­chiefe and much misery, both vppon children and themselues: yea in truth, it is from hence, that so much sorrow, griefe, and shame, befal­leth many times vpon fathers and mothers. And how commeth this to passe, that the Parents [Page 337] owne dung, is cast in their faces by their owne children, in mocking and despising of them? and whence arise all these inconueniences be­fore named, togither with all these grieuous plagues & iudgements of God vpon their chil­dren, to the consuming of their eyes, but from this their owne negligence, in bringing vp their children? for it is euen iust with God, that see­ing they haue offended him in the greatest bles­sings, they should bee plagued with the fame thing wherein they offended, with his greatest iudgements. O you vnnaturall parents! the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you, Luke. 16.27. in the day of iudgement, and condemne you: for he being in hell, had a care of his fathers house, that they might be forewarned: and therefore desired A­braham, to send Lazarus to his brethren, to te­stifie vnto them, that they came not into that place of torment: but you will not admonish your children, you will not teach them Moses and the Prophets: and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure, han­ging ouer their heads and therefore your owne children shall be one of the furies in hell, to tor­ment you. The Lord open your eyes, Pro. 22.6. to foresee and she these fearefull iudgements. But if you will bring them vp well and vertuously, they shall be the better for it, all their liues after: nay, the world to come shall reape this benefit: for such children as you now bring vp, such pa­rents [Page 338] shal they be after you when you are gone: and looke what parents you leaue behind you, the like childrē again shal they reare vp. Wher­fore, O you parents, you are either the making, or the marring of the world: for if your childrē learne no good erudition at your hands, how should they be good fathers after you? and how should they leaue that to their posteritie, by the right of inheritance, which they neuer receiued from their ancestors? To conclude this poynt (we say) once againe: Oh ye parents endeuour to goe forward in this vertuous education of your children, and then God (no doubt) shal, nor will hide no necessarie secret or instruction from you, neither will hee withhold any good blessing from your posteritie: so shall ye be fa­thers of the faithfull as Abraham was, if you will haue the same care, and practise the same diligence for your children and familie, that he did Gen. 18.17.18. and 12.2.3.

Disheriting of the eldest son, is a thing very vnlawfull. 2. Chro. 21.3. 1. King. 21.3. Le [...]it. 25.23. Num. 27.3. &cParents also haue to remember, that they shall commit an act very vnnaturall, iniurious, and vngodly if they should vndeseruedly disin­herit their eldest sonne. For as nature in all her workes▪ for the most part, seemeth to make some one thing to bee chiefe before all the rest, whereby the same is and the rather continueth: so reason in the order of a familie, which is an imitation of a state ciuill, or bodie politike, per­swadeth of experience and necessitie, that there [Page 339] be one before the rest as chiefe. Whereby may be conserued, that beauty of vnitie, and harmo­nie of concord, which the Almightie in his crea­tion so wonderfully and diuersly teacheth, and our Sauiour himselfe, so carefully and especially commended to his Church. And thereof see­meth to come that preheminence or more spe­ciall regarde, Exod. 13.1, 2. and 34.19, 20. Leuit. 27.26. Num. 3.13. & 18.16. which the law of God in the olde Testament appointed to his people the Israe­lites, to be obserued towards the first begotten sonne, and likewise somewhat concerning o­ther dumbe creatures, which first were brought forth into the world. By the ancient law of the Iewes, the eldest had double so much as the o­thers of the fathers goods, and alone to the el­dest pertained the blessing of the father, where­with should seeme alwaies the heritage to goe and succeede: as is manifest by the wil of God, in Deuter. 31.15, 16, 17. If a man haue two wiues, one loued, and another hated, and they haue borne him children, both the loued, and al­so the hated: if the first borne be the sonne of the hated, then when the time commeth, that hee appointeth his sonnes to bee heires of that which hee hath, hee may not make the sonne of the be­loued first borne, before the sonne of the hated, which is the first borne: but he shall acknow­ledge the sonne of the hated, which is the first borne, and giue him double portion of all that hee hath: for hee is the first of his strength, [Page 340] and to him belongeth the right of the first borne. The Patriarkes, and others the seruants of God, although by diuine reuelation and other notice of the will of God, they were certified that they might marrie many or sundrie wiues at one time, yet did they exclude from their heritage and prerogatiue of the blessing, all the children of those secondarie and after mariages. This appeareth in Gen. 21.10. The sonne of the bond woman shall not be heire with my sonne Isaack: yet was hee the eldest, but was not the sonne of the first mariage. Also an heire, is the work and institution of nature, and heritage is due to the sonne by nature, therefore it is so due that hee must needs haue it: seeing those things which come by nature, or be natural, are not mutable or to bee changed. Moreouer this name Heire, which in maner with all Nations is the eldest, he is the successor of the law Nationall, besides the lawes natural and diuine. And that father, who maketh another heire then is by these au­thorities appointed, cannot but expresse him­selfe a rebell, in disobeying and contemning so great lawes and authorities, beginning a new law of his owne head contrary thereunto. Then what is more vniust, then to doe contrary to all lawes, and therwith to disobey the will of God, to peruert the due order of discent, preferring the second mariage before the first, the yonger before the elder, the late offpring before the first [Page 341] begotten, so much tendred and respected? Now as the greatest iniurie a father can do to his son, is to disherit him: so is it the most reproach­full blot or dammage, to suffer the infamie and discredit of disherison. For if the eldest sonne be worthie to be disherited in his fathers house, he may be thought not worthie to draw breath out of it: for that hee ought to bee conuinced faultie in those crimes and hainous offences, which bee either repugnant to the dutie of a child, or not meete for the profession of a Chri­stian: namely, if hee strike or offer violence to his father: Deut. 21.18. &c. if he oppresseth him with some great wrong: if he seeke his death or destruction, by poysoning, or otherwise: if hee lie with his fa­thers wife: Gen. 35.22. & 49. [...].4. 1. Chro. 5.1. if he wil not suffer his father to make his will: if he be not of the true and Catholike faith, but is conuinced to be an heretike, wher­by his life and heritage is in hazard. Or if he re­fuse to succour and deliuer his father out of pri­son, by his suertiship: or if he follow the trade and companie of such persons, as in the law be counted infamous, vile and most dishonest: as Iuglers. Sorcerers, Coniurers, Theeues, and Pi­rats. Or if he be an idiot, a mad man a natural, or lunatike person. Or if the father offering him a meet mariage, vnder 25. yeres, he refuseth it, & delighteth to liue cōtinually in whoredom, and filthy order of life: these & such like, be y ^e causes that the ciuil or Ecclesiastical lawes do assigne.

The dutie of Children to­wards their parents.

THis dutie of children, as it may bee gathered out of the holie Scrip­tures, consisteth in fiue points.

1. First, that they Ephes. 6.1, 2, 3. Col. 3.20. Pro. 8. and 4.1. and 23.22. obey their parents, and do serue them, and also do Leuit. 10.3. N [...]m. 12.14. feare, loue honour, and reuerence them, not onely in word and deed▪ but in their harts & minds also.

2. Secondly, that they follow their good pre­cepts and examples of life.

3. Thirdly, that they patiently take Pro. 15.5.32. corre­ction at their hands.

4. Fourthly, that they make continuall and heartie prayers to God for them.

1. Tim. 5.4. Matth. 15.4, 5, 6. Genes. 47.12.5. And lastly, that they do relieue, maintaine and nourish their parents, in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay.

The summe and effect of all which, is as followeth.

Fathers and Mothers are to their children in Gods stead. Exod. 20.12. Deut. 5.13. By honour, is meantal kinde of duty, which children owe to their Pa­rents.As the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents: so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authoritie of their parents, to obey and serue them in his stead, saying: Honour thy father and mother: wh [...]ch honour consisteth not in bowing the knee, or putting off the cap, or gi­uing [Page 343] to their parents the vpper hand onely: but that they must loue them with all their hearts, feare and dread them, and that they cheerefully doe their commandements, will and pleasure, and that they seeke their worship, credit profit and preferment in all things lawfull, and if need require, that they should giue their liues for them: remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions, and they owe to them euen their owne selues, and al that they are able to doe, yea, and more then they are able.

By this word Honor, is also signified the loue, reuerence, dutie, obedience, subiection, enter­tainment, and necessarie assistance that childrē owe to their parents. As concerning the loue, the summarie of the second Table, comprehen­ded in these words: Thou shalt loue thy neigh­bour as thy selfe, doth manifestly confirme it. Matth. 22.39. For who can be a neerer neighbour for the chil­dren to loue, then their parents?

Besides that, they are not to bee loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue, but also as fathers and mothers. And therefore what ingratitude is it, not to loue those of whō, next after God, they haue their life and being, together with many great and continual bene­fits towards them? Also the loue that parents doe beare to their children, besides so many their labours, sorowes, troubles, and vexations, should binde them reciprocally to loue them. [Page 344] The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heare thē, thay they yeeld some warmth: so albeit that children bee as hard and colde as stones, yet the experience, and the daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them, ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe. Take away the beame from the Sunne, and it will not shine; the springs from the riuer, and it will drie vp; the bough from the tree, and it will wither; the member from the body, and it will rot. And so take from children their du­tie to their parents, and they are no longer chil­dren, but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Iesus Christ said: Ye are the chil­dren of the diuell. Ioh. 8.44.

This band of the loue of children towards their parents, should take such place, not onely toward such parents as are louing and gentle, but also (as Saint Peter saith of the duties of ser­uants to their masters) euen toward such as bee rigorous. For if we ought to loue all the childrē of Adam, euen those whom wee know not, or our enemies and persecutors: how much rather our parents, albeit they shuld intreate vs rough­ly and with rigour, either in word or deede? and verily the principal cause stil abideth: namely, that they be our father and mother. This ought children well to note, to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions, reproofes, and in generall, whatsoeuer their troublesome and [Page 345] sharpe affections, they may still continue and declare their childlike affection and loue. And to that purpose children must remember the labour, griefe, anguish, weeping, sorow, and o­ther troublesome cares, that their parents do a­bide and indure for them.

This loue must bee accompanied with reue­rence and respect: & to say the truth, Matth. 23.9. albeit the name of father belongeth properly vnto God, as Iesus Christ saith: You haue but one father, euen him that is in heauen. Yet doth he so im­part it to those that haue begotten vs, that they being called fathers, do beare the title & image of God. And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them, and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence. Of this reue­rence we haue a notable example in Salomon: hee vnderstanding that his mother Berthsheba was comming to speake with him, 1. King. 2.19. arose from his seate, came to meete her, bowed before her, and set her vpon his right hand. Neither could his greatnes, neither his royall estate priuiledge him from this respect & honour due to his mo­ther. But when the sonne doth execute his ma­gistracie, or publike office, he is greater then his father, and must beare himselfe as a Magistrate, not as a sonne: but when hee is out of place, or execution of office, he must (how highly soeuer he be aduanced) haue a respect, and yeeld reue­rence to his parents. But many times it falleth [Page 346] out otherwise: for many children when they come to honour, or wealth, do despise their pa­rents, if they bee of meaner calling then them­selues, that hardly they will acknowledge, or call them father, as if they were ashamed of thē. So that that man putteth off the affection of a childe to his father, who by the eminencie of an office ouer him, quencheth the name of a son. But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie, for he did not onely bow before his mo­ther, as is aforesaid, but also called her mother: saying, 1. King. 2.10. Mother, aske, and J will not denie thee. And this doe we the rather note also vpon ano­ther consideration, namely, that his example cōdemneth the custome of these daies, wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base & contemptible, that the childrē of kings, princes, yea euen of mean gentlemen, speaking to their parents, must not say, father, mother: but Sir, my Lord, my Ladie, Madam, &c.

But the due honour to parents that we here speake of, implieth not onely this outward re­uerence, but also that wee should so esteeme of them, as that neither our selues should despise them, neither should wee suffer others to haue them in contempt. And this are wee to vnder­stand in the saying of Iesus Christ: Iohn 8.49. I honour my father, but you dishonor me. He there defendeth the honour of his father, against the false opi­nions and slanders of the Iewes. But some there [Page 347] are so vnnaturall and peruerse, that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents, they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts, and suffer others to speake hardly of thē: but also will themselues so farre exceede, as e­uen to lay them open to the scorne of others.

Ham the sonne of Noah, seeing his father lie vncouered, Gen. 9.22. called his brethren to shew them his father [...] shame. But so odious was this im­pietie in the sight of God, that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost, cur­sed both him and all his posteritie. And there­fore we well and truly may say, that those chil­dren, who in stead of defending the honour of their parents, doe lay them open to shame and reproofe, and come of the cursed seed of Ham.

This dutie of honoring parents, The honour due to parents. is performed and paied, when they doe worshipfully and re­uerently esteeme of them, as to thinke that [...]hey are giuen to them of God, Childrens du­ty is from their beginning to their ending, to be subiect, obedient and helpfull to their Parents. to the end that they should reuerence, loue, and alwaies haue a care of them, if for nothing els, yet for the Lord sake, who is, and doth thinke himselfe despised, so long as children contemne their parents, and either think or little regard them. So then chil­dren honour their parents when with their help and counsell, they ayde them in their olde age, and vnweildie crookednesse, when they ease and helpe them in the time of their neede, Matth. 15.4, 5, 6, or succour them otherwise in any case else, and do [Page 348] wholly bestow themselues, and all that they haue, Exod. 21.15.17 Leuit. 20.9. Pro. 20.20. and 30.17. Deut. 27.16. to do them good withall: yea, they ought not to giue them a rough or stubborne answer, or once so much as to mumble or mutter an answere against their parents, neither to smite or curse, or speake euill of their father and mo­ther: vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same.

What children do to their pa­rents, they doe to God, so that they may not purloyne or diminish a­ny of their substance. Pro. 28.24.Children haue alwaies to remember, that whatsoeuer they doe to their fathers and mo­thers (bee it good or euill) they doe it to God: when they please them, they please God: and when they disobey them, they disobey God: when their parents are iustly angrie with them, God is angrie with them: neither can it be, that they may come to haue the fauour of God a­gaine: (no although all the Saints in heauen should intreat for them) vntill they haue sub­mitted themselues to their father and mother.

If children and seruants would alwaies keep in minde this saying; so to doe and behaue themselues to their parents, Matth. 7.12. masters, & dames, as they would haue their children and seruants to doe, and behaue themselues to them, when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents, masters, or dames; then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents, masters, and dames, more dutifully and faithfully then now they doe. Matth. 7.2. Luke. 6.3.8. For let them assure themselues, that such measure as they now meat to their parēts, [Page 349] masters, and dames, such will bee measured to them againe, by their children and seruants.

Also children must bee carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers & mothers, and to suffer themselues to bee gouerned by them, and to bee mindfull to bestow all paine and di­ligence to discharge their dutie towards them: and herewithall they must know, that they are not at their owne libertie to doe as they list, so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them: and not to fall out among themselues, Psal. 133.1. but mutually to loue and helpe one another.

And yet children haue alwaies to remember, that they may not in any case obey their pa­rents, when they shall commaund them to doe or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God. And yet they are to bee thought well of: For example, Ionathan, who with others, o­beyed not his father Sauls commaundement, 1. Sam. 20.28. &c. & 22.17. Dan. 3.18. Acts 4.19. who charged him to persecute Dauid: & ther­fore hee is worthily commended in the holie Scriptures. For the duties of the first table, are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second table. This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers, ought in verie deede to bee vnto them as a ladder, or staier, Matth. 23.9. to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God, who is our chiefe father.

As children receiue of their parents three things: to wit, life, maintenance, & instruction: [Page 350] so for these three they owe other three, namely, for life, they owe loue: for maintenance, they owe obedience: for instruction, they owe reue­rence. For their life, they must feruently loue their parents: for their maintenance, they must dutifully obey their parents, as masters: and for their instruction, they must cheerefully reue­rence their parents as their Tutors.

And further, children must remember, that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents, to take of them their beginning of life, and that they might nourish and bring them vp: and of rude, and almost brutish things, they might make them able to helpe & liue of themselues: yea, and such mothers as are godly and vertu­ous, doe suffer and endure more paine & griefe in the bearing, bringing vp, and nourishing of their children, then the fathers do. So that grea­ter are the pleasures and good turnes, that chri­stian parents do for their children, greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them, and greater is the care, griefe, and trouble, which they take for them, then any man, how learned so euer he be, is able to expresse. And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue, to esteeme well, to obey, to be kinde, faithfull, and dutifull, and to reuerence their parents, and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the hart: yet these were sufficient.

Maides and young women are to be put in minde, and alwaies to remember, that the best portion, the greatest inheritance, and the most precious iewell that they can bring them on their mariage day, is Shamefastnesse: the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women. And therefore they must carefully shunne and a­uoide all idle and wanton talke, nice lookes, dalliance, and light countenance, when they walke abroad, or bee in companie. A man nee­deth many things: as wisedome, eloquence, knowledge of things, remembrance, skill in some trade, or craft to liue by, iustice, courage, and other things and qualities moe, which were too long to rehearse: and though some of these be lacking, yet he is not to be disliked, so that he haue many of them. But in a maide, no man will looke for eloquence, great wit, ordering of the Common-wealth, prudence, &c. Finally, no man wil looke for any other thing of a woman, When a wo­man loseth her honestie, then hath she lost her chiefe trea­sure. but her Honestie: the which onely if it be lack­ing, she is like a man that wanteth all that hee should haue. For in a maide, the honestie and chastitie is in stead of all. She verily may trulie be said to bee an euill keeper, that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping, and put in trust to her, with much cōmendation of words: and especially which no man will take frō her against her will, nor touch it except she be willing her selfe. The which thing onely, if a [Page 350] [...] [Page 351] [...] [Page 352] woman remember, it will cause her to take great heed vnto, & to be a more warie & care­full keeper of her honestie, which alone being lost, though all other things be neuer so wel and safe, yet they perish togither therewith because shee that hath once lost her Honestie, should thinke there is nothing lost. Take from a maid or woman her beautie, take from her, kindred, riches, comelinesse, eloquence, sharpnesse of wit, cunning in her craft: giue her Chastitie, and you haue giuen her all things. And on the other side, giue her all these thinges, and call her whoore or naughtie packe: with that one word you haue taken all from her, and left her bare and foule. How precious a iewell Chastitie is, may easily bee gathered from the example of Dinah the daugther of Leah, Gen. 34.1.2. which shee bare vnto Iacob, who when hee heard that shee was rauished and defiled by Sechem, the sonne of Hamos the Hiuite, Lord of that Countrie, his mind was grieuously wounded with this great shame and reproath. Children may not marrie without the consent and a­greement of their Parents: so that an vn­lawfull pro­mise made by the childe, may lawfully be broken.

Children may not forget this dutie, who ha­uing receyued their being from their parents, and being brought vp by them, with great paines & much cost, they should not therefore so much as giue any liking, much lesse speech of marrige, without the consent of parents, or of those which are set ouer them by their pa­rents: the dutie of thankfulnesse requiring it at [Page 353] their hands, and not onely in regard of thank­fulnesse, is this dutie to bee performed to their parents, but euen in regard of their owne ina­bilitie, as being not experienced in such things, and their wits being not so ripe as their parents, they wanting wisedome and discretion to be­haue themselues as they ought. For some chil­dren know not what are meet and conuenient for them, nor whether they be of meet age and condition to marrie. Which inabilitie being in the sonnes, is much more in the daughters, as being the weaker by nature, and more vnable to prouide for themselues, and therefore it is necessarie, that they should not marrie without the consent and direction of their parents, but to be at their bestowing: for, to doe otherwise is a sinne, euen that nature it selfe abhorreth: and all sound Writers, old and new, doe vtterly dis­allow. It is a sweet wedding, whē the father and the mother bring a bles­sing to the feast: and a heauie vnion, which is cursed the first day that it is knit. And for so much as marriage being the meanes, the which God himselfe hath ordai­ned, and sanctified for the propagation and in­crease of mankind, that being taken in hand in his feare, a godly seed being multiplied & gro­wen vp here on earth, the same may be blessed to the constitution and making of a Church, the which may serue him in holinesse and righ­teousnes: when the same is taken in hand, with the breach of his commandement, so far off is it, that any blessing is to be hoped for, that con­trariwise, his hot indignation, wrath and heauy curse hangeth ouer that house & familie, where [Page 354] the parties, which are the principall pillers and vpholders of the same, are linked and tyed to­gither in such a band of wedlocke, whose links and inclosings, are not fastned & coupled togi­ther with the necessary & lawful assent & liking of the parents, whose authoritie and consent; ought to beare the chiefest sway, and strike like­wise the greatest stroke, in this most holy and heauenly action. And likewise as marriage, that is begunne and enterprised in the feare of God, according to his word, there God is well pleased, there the parties so matched, liue togi­ther in a ioyfull agreement, and linking the one to the other: there God is honoured, and ser­ued in sinceritie and trueth: there the children, when God giueth them, with the rest of the fa­milie, are instructed and brought vp in know­ledge of religion, and grounds of faith: so on the other side, the regard of that which God es­pecially commandeth, being shut out of our marriages, there must needs ensue his dislike, and displeasure: there is iarre and discord: there Gods honour is neglected: there household dis­cipline and christian instruction of such as be­long vnto our charge, goeth vtterly to wracke, and is nothing at all regarded. And no maruel: for, if where God blesseth, all things goe well, and doe prosper: then consequently, where hee curseth, there nothing thriueth, hath good suc­cesse, or goeth happily forward. It may appeare by sundry examples, both before the Law was [Page 355] giuen, and after, that this is a dutie required of children towards their parents: namely, to haue their consent in contracting of marriage. As these places doe plainely shew: 1. Sam. 18.17. Gen. 21.21. and 24.3. &c. and 21.1.2. and 29.19. and 34.4. Deut. 7.3.4. Iudg. 14.1. &c. 1. Cor. 7.36.38. Whereby is manifestly proued, that first it is a­gainst the law of nature. Secondly, for that the parents haue authoritie ouer their childrē, Exod. 21.2. Leuit. 25.39. Deut. 15.12. more then they haue ouer their seruants. Thirdly, be­cause children are their fathers goods & riches, and therefore they must not bestow themselues in marriage, but must be bestowed of their pa­rents. Fourthly, for that parents haue authoritie ouer the vowes of their children, Numb. 30.4. 5, 6. Fiftly, if a mans daughter be inticed; Contracts voyd, without the consent of parents. yet her father may refuse, being not auaileable, or of any force, without his consent. Exod. 22.16.17. Besides all this, what cleerer proofe can we haue, then the fift commandement, in the which children are commanded to honor their fathers and mothers, with a blessing promised to those which performe the same: whereby we gather by the nature of contraries, that there is a curse also belonging to all those children, that shall dishonour them. And in that God wil­leth that the parents by their children should be honoured, he meaneth, that they should in all humilitie and modestie reuerence them, with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them, and with all willingnesse, shew themselues [Page 356] thankefull for their creation, education, susten­tation, and all other benefits, that vnder God they haue receiued from them, being readie by all meanes they possibly may, to imitate and expresse towards thē the nature of the Storke, whose propertie (as they write of them) is to prouide meat & feed their dams, when through age they grow so old, that they are not able for to helpe themselues: that is to say, they must to their very vtmost seeke to make them recom­pence and requitall, of some part of those vn­requitable paines, the which their louing pa­rents haue taken with them, and make some a­mends for the vncounteruailable kindnes that they haue shewed towards them. But where they bestow themselues in marriage, without the consent of their parents, there they do fault, and make a breach of dutie, in all these three respects: that is to say, they neither reuerence, obey, nor shew themselues thankful vnto them. For reuerence consisteth in this, that children carrie towards their parents, a certaine honest, and modest shamefastnes, ioyned with a bash­full awefulnes & standing in feare of them, the which worketh in them, a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them, as that they haue an especial respect and regard of them, in doing or not doing of things, neither of a care to please them, or of a feare to offend them. Obedience herein sheweth forth it selfe, in that willingly without murmuring or grudging, [Page 357] they be willing to be ordered, directed, guided and ruled, by their parents, being ready to doe all lawfull things, the which they commaund them, and to refraine from all those things, the which they shall forbid them. Thankfulnesse, besides that there are many other branches, is alwayes mindful of benefits receiued, & there­fore carrieth continually a vigilant and watch­full eye towards the partie by whom it hath bin pleasured, that no discourtesie in any case be of­fered, or any occasion ministred, whereby hee may conceiue vnkindnes. And by this familiar discription of these three heads, wherof stādeth chiefely, the honor due vnto parents: we may cleerely see, that those children which in wed­ding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers, doe neither stand in any awfull feare of them, as also whom they would be loth to offend or displease, nor yet giue ouer them­selues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them, or haue any regard, that they bee not causers to make their friends or parents con­ceiue hardly and vnkindly of them, when as it is more then manifest, that in matters concer­ning their dutie towards their parents, no griefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart, then this, when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking. And therefore such chil­dren, as match in this sort, as it were in spight of the teeth of their fathers & mothers, are neither reuerent, obedient, nor thankful vnto them, and [Page 358] so consequently, they doe not honour them, whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God, the which must without true and vn­fained repentance, pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families, the fearefull plagues of God his heauy and hot indignation against them, to their vtter subuersion, decay and ruine. Let all dutifull and good natured children, therefore in the reuerence and feare of God, consider, what honor, and obedience they doe owe vnto their parents, and what po­wer and authoritie hee hath in his word sancti­fied vnto them, ouer their children in the Lord: in regard hereof, let them yeeld vnto them this dutie, that their fathers hauing prouided for them, Children ma­riageable, are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choise, to in­cline their minds to ac­cept of the same. such as are not of a wicked life, nor de­formed, or euil fauoured, nor of a contrary reli­gion, they willingly submit thēselues vnto their choise, which if for the present, or vpon the sud­daine, they cannot yeeld vnto, let them by ear­nest calling vpon the name of God, not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choise, but also to subdue in thē this corrupt affection, and to frame their wils to bee pliable vnto their fathers in such lawfull cases. As the Lord our God in his iustice, doth iustly punish disobedient children: as may appeare by the ex­ample of Ham, Gen. 9.22. the younger sonne of Noah, who derided his father, and was iustly punished for it. 2. Sam. 15.1. &c. & 18.9. Likewise Absolon, who vsed wicked practises, to get the kingdome from Dauid his [Page 359] father, but he for this his rebellion and disobe­dience, came to a most miserable end: yea, and he hath in his law, set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient chil­dren: where he saith: If any man haue a sonne, Deut. 21.18.19.20.21. that is stubborne and disobedient, which wil not hearkē vnto the voice of his father & the voice of his mother, & they haue chastened him, and he would not obey them, then shall his father and his mother take him, & bring him out vnto the Elders of his citie, and vnto the gate of the place where he dwelleth, and shall say vnto the Elders of his citie: This our sonne is stubborne and disobedient, and he will not obey our admo­nition: he is a ryot our and a drunkard: Then all the men of his Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death so thou shalt take away euill from a­mong you, that all Israel may heare it, & feare. For euē as a long & a prosperous life, is promi­sed vnto obedient childrē: so on the other side, Exod. 20.12. Ephes. 6.2. al disobedient, vnthankful, & obstinate childrē, are assured of the punishmēt of infamy, ioyned with diuers & great calamities & torments. 1. Sā. 2.22. 1. Kin 1.25. &c. Deu. 21.18. &c. Pro. 20.20. &. 30.17. Deut. 28.15. &c. Leuit. 26.14. &c. And although y ^t the tempo­ral officers, be negligent in punishing such dis­obediēce: yet shal they not escape vnpunished. For the vengeance of God shal accōpany thē, vntil they be vtterly destroied. For there is no­thing more vnnatural, thē to see childrē disho­nor & disobey their parents: and inferiors their superiors.

Such may aptly be compared to the Viper, that gnaweth out the belly of her Dam, & see­keth her own life, with her Dams death: so con­trariwise, the word of God doth highly com­mend Ioseph for his great loue, benificence, and obedience, Gen. 46.29. &c. and 48.11.12. Luke. 2.5. extended towards his father Iacob, and his brethren, who both helped and liberally nourished them, and prayed for them. Our Sa­uiour Christ also was obedient to his parents, euen vntill death. Deut. 5.16. So that the Lord (no doubt) will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeeres, to his glory, and their soules comfort.

And to the end to inuite and stirre vp chil­dren, to honour their parents, as before is shew­ed: Exod. 20.12. Ephes. 6.2. the Lord addeth this promise: That thy dayes may bee long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee. And as S. Paul doth note, that it is the first cōmandement with promise. For albeit there bee a promise added to the se­cond, yet is the same common vnto the whole law: but this is peculiar and especiall, to all such children as honour their parents: for herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to them. But the Lord spake to the Israelites pro­perly of the land, that he had promised them for an inheritance, which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnes and loue toward thē. It is therefore as if he should haue said: To the end, that liuing vpon the earth, thou [Page 361] mayest long enioy the earnest penny of my goodnes and grace toward thee. But now see­ing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull, the promise of long life vpon the earth, is vnto vs also a blessing of God. First, because wee can not liue long, without participating in many and great benefits of God, euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life. Secondly, because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue and glorifie God. In con­sideration whereof, we see what the Church in old time said: The dead praise not the Lord, Psa. 115.17.18 neither any that goe downe into the place of si­lence: But we will prayse the Lord from hence­forth, and for euer. The same doth Hezechia King of Iudah also note in his canticle: Esay. 38.19. The li­uing, the liuing, he shall confesse thee, as I doe this day: The father to the children, shall de­clare thy trueth. In as much therefore, as long life is promised as a blessing, God doth conti­nue is to obedient children, so long as it is a blessing vnto thē. And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne togither these two sentences: That it may goe well with thee, Ephe. 6.5. and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth. As also when God ta­keth away such obedient children before they be old: yea, before they come vnto mans state, whether it be, least malice should corrupt their hearts, or to preuent some great calamities, wherein they might peraduēture be entangled: or vpō whatsoeuer other considerations, to re­ceiue [Page 362] them into a better life, he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children, be­cause he dealeth better then promise with thē. But as contrariwise, this promise threatneth such children as will not honor their parents, with short life: so doth experience declare, that many such children are of short and wretched life. But if contrariwise, such disobedient chil­dren doe chance to liue long, so far is long life from being vnto thē a blessing, that to the con­trary, it is an enforcement and increase of woe, because they enlarge their iust condēnation, so as they had beene better to haue died in their youth. But howsoeuer it bee, God so disposeth hereof, that by the effects we may perceiue, that they which honor their parents are blessed, and the others accursed. Eccle. 3.2 &c. And al­though some parēts do not performe those du­ties towards their children, inioyned thē from the Lord: yet such children as liue wickedly, must know, that they are not exempt and free frō blame, & guiltines before God. For though they can say, (as the children in Ezechiels time said:) The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes, and the childrens teeth are set on edge: we say, that though the occasion be offered of such vngod­ly and wicked parents, yet the cause of destru­ction is still in the children themselues. And be­sides that, it is sure, that the soule that hath sin­ned, shall die the death. Seeing there be some yong men & maids, who notwithstanding the [Page 363] great prophanenesse of the most, the manifold corruptions offered abroad, the vngodly exam­ples abounding at home, are so mightily preser­ued by the seed of grace, that they escape safely in an holy course of life, lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill, reioycing in the least occasion of good things. The rest, who please themselues, and hope to shelter their sins vnder their parents defaults, are plainely left without excuse, & are iustly guiltie of the blood of their owne sinnes. Labour therefore ye yong men and maidens, to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eies, & stay the mourn­full & sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers, and consider in your selues, if yee haue any na­ture in you, & haue not buried the vse of com­mon reason, what a shame it is, to be a shame vnto your fathers, to whō ye ought to be a glo­ry: thinke, ye wanton wits, that haue not cast off all naturall affections, what a contempt it is, to be a contempt vnto your mothers, to whom you haue offered, as it were, a despightfull vio­lence, in that yee are a corrosiue to her griefe, when as ye should haue bin a crowne vnto her comforts. Learne therefore ye children, that it is one special propertie of a liberal & ingenious nature, to bee careful so to liue, that in time yee may be a glory to your fathers, & a ioy to your mothers: which the Lord for his Christs sake grant. These precepts & admonitions before said, are as a Sūmarie of the duties of children to [Page 364] their parents. And therefore it resteth, that they vnderstanding them, doe pray vnto God to giue them grace, to put them in practise to his glory, and their good and saluation. Lastly, let them remember, that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers, then such as parents doe powre forth for their children. As they are therefore to feare their curse, for offending thē: so must they by honouring and pleasing them, seeke to bee blessed in their prayers, which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen, as the blessing of Isaac to his sonne Jacob, doe mani­festly declare. Genes. 27.28.29.

What duties Masters and Mistresses owe to their seruants.

The house­holder is cal­led Pater fa­milias: that is, a father of a familie, be­cause hee should haue a fatherly care o­uer his ser­uants, as if they were his children. THis dutie teacheth them, that they are become in stead of parents vn­to their seruants, which dutie con­sisteth in foure points.

1. First, that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse.

2. Secondly, that by diligent instruction, and good example, they bring vp their seruants and housholds, in honestie & comely manners, and in all vertue.

3. Thirdly, that they ought to instruct their apprentices and seruants, in the knowledge of [Page 365] their occupations and trades: euen as parents would teach their owne children, without all guile, fraud, delaying, or concealing.

And lastly, when correction is necessary, Masters and Dames ought moderately to vse their au­thoritie ouer their seruants. Ephes. 6.9. that then they giue it them with such discretion, pi­tie, and desire of their amendment, as louing parents vse to deale with their deare childrē, re­membring alway, that they haue a master in heauen, before whom they must make an ac­count for their doings. These foure points are in effect spokē of before in the dutie of parents. For so much as masters and householders, are to their seruants and prentices in place of fathers, they are hereby admonished, that they ought not to withhold and keepe backe their due wa­ges, to exact of them, to oppresse them, or to reward their wel doing, Iam. 5.4. Col. 4.1. Iob. 31.13.14.15. Deut. 24.14.15. & good deseruing slen­derly: but to be careful of their seruants good e­state, as of their own, not only in prouiding for them wholesome meat, drinke & lodging, and otherwise to helpe them, comfort them, and re­lieue and cherish them, as wel in sicknesse, as in health, Mat. 8.5.6. Luke 7.2. liberally to reward their good deser­uings, as farre as christianitie, liberalitie, and e­qualitie shall bind them: but also that they bee carefull that they liue honestly, God made e­uery weeke one day of rest, wherein seruants shuld be as free as their masters. Gen. 2.2. vertuously and christianly. And further, they may not grieue their seruants with ouermuch labour, but al­wayes remember, that they are not beasts, but men: so that they ought quietly to gouerne them, and also quietly to chide thē, when they [Page 366] shall neglect their dutie, least they bee prouo­ked with ouer hard words, remembring that they also haue a Lord & master in heauen, with whom there is no respect of persons: As the laborer which wor­keth but one day, is worthie his hire, euen so much more the seruant which labo­reth euery day. Luke 10.7. As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon, so God hath bound ma­sters, that they should not oppresse their seruants. 2. Sam. 18.5. Iob. 31.13.14.15. For a good man, saith Sa­lomō: Pro. 12.10. will be mercifull to his beast, and therefore he ought to be more merciful to his seruants, being his brethren. Ephe. 6.9. And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithful labor of their seruants, & pay them their couenants in a fit & conuenient time, least be­ing compelled by necessitie, they should steale.

Masters ought not as Tyrants, to vse their seruants as their Horses or Asses: but to deale with them louingly & christianly, because they are all members of one bodie, whereof Christ Iesus is the head. There be some masters, that vse their seruants and prentices more like beasts then like men, & their own members, for which their so doing, let them assure themselues, they must yeeld to God their Master a straight ac­count Oh that christian masters and mistresses would learne, and so practise the example of Iobs good & vpright dealing with his seruants, which was far from rigor, where he saith: Jf I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant, and of my maid, when they did contend with mee, (that is, when they thought themselues euill in­treated by me,) What then shall J do, when God standeth vp? (If I had oppressed others, how should I haue escaped Gods iudgement?) and when he shall visit me, what shall J answere? He that hath made me in the wombe, hath hee not made him? (which moued him to shew pitie and fauour vnto his seruants, because they were [Page 367] Gods creatures, as he was:) hath not hee alone fashioned vs in the wombe? Hereby then may those masters & dames see their wickednesses, who wil not heare their seruants speake, but vp­on a simple surmise and brainsicknes, doe euill intreat them by cruell stripes, when in trueth there is no iust cause. Reuiling words and vn­reasonable fiercenesse doth much more hurt to seruants, then good. Phil. 16.17. Masters and Mistresses ought therefore to vse their seruants and prenti­ces with mildnesse and equity, as euery one shal deserue, for they must remēber, that they haue all one God to honour & worship, one Prince to serue, one law to keepe, and one land to in­habit, and one death to feare: and therefore they must speake vnto them, as vnto brethren, and sisters, and deale with them, as with christians. And let them alwayes remember this, namely, that God will neuer deale mercifully with thē, if they make not greater account, that their ser­uants doe serue him more carefully, then them­ [...]elues, and sanctifie his Sabboths. Exod. 20.10. Deut. [...].14. And there­fore that master is not worthie to bee serued, which can not afford, that his seruants should serue God, as well as himselfe. Hee must giue vnto God, that which is Gods, and then hee may the better take that wihch is his owne. For, 1. Tim. 5.8. Hee that careth not for his familie (saith Paul) is worse then an Infidell: because Infi­dels care for their familie.

As it is the office of a good householder to carrie the burthen of care, trauell and labour: so it is the dutie of his wife, to bee faithfull in [Page 368] keeping and well ordering of his goods, house, and to see his, her owne, & their childrens best apparel brusht, & handsomely laid vp, to be pa­tient, and carefull to see her husband doe well: and both their duties, is effectually to giue good examples, to be diligent, to entertaine peace a­mongst their familie, and to see all things neat and handsome, and to keepe due order & mea­sure. For as the Sunne in the firmament giueth light to all the Regions round about him, Seruants doe rather imitate the workes they see their Masters doe, then the words which they heare them speake. Pro. 29.21. and by his bright appearing, expelleth the darknes, comforteth & cheareth the world: euen so like­wise should housholders labour to banish sin and corrupt religion out of their dwellings, and to be a lanterne of godly life, to comfort and shine to their whole familie, that so they may direct their liues after their good examples: Phil. 2.15. Matth. 5.16. A Master ought so to behaue himselfe with his seruants, that hee bee not too familiar with them, which many times breedeth contempt, but to admonish them of­ten, and therewithall not to discourage them from well doing, not to be too seuere, nor too partiall, but to moderate all by discretion. For like as the Centurion, Luke 7.8. who had many ser­uants vnder his authoritie, and they were all at his becke and Commaundement, most rea­die to obey him, in any thing that hee set them about, and this good order and submission hee had brought them vnto, by the reason that his said seruants were deare vnto him: that is, hee [Page 369] made a speciall reckoning of them, and was as a father vnto them: so likewise all masters are in conscience bound to esteeme and account well of their seruants, and to vse their authoritie that they haue ouer them, mildly and christian­ly: and then if their seruants doe perceiue that they are deare vnto their masters, Ephes. 6.9. so may the masters in time worke them like waxe to their owne minde: except they be such as haue sold themselues to worke wickednesse. It is very conuenient that a master of a familie should so dispose and order his affaires and busines, that he depart & absent himselfe from home, as little us may bee: for it is an olde saying and a true, That the eye of the master doth make the horse fat, and the ground fertile: for al things are wel and fitly done when the master is present. Such house-keepers as haue much, and yet spend little, are called niggards: and they that haue little, and yet spend much, are holden fooles, spend-thrifts, and prodigall wasters: and there­fore they ought to liue in such sort, that they be not noted mizers for their keeping, either pro­digall for their spending. The couetous mise­rable niggard passeth great toyle and trauels in gathering of his riches: danger in keeping thē: law in defending them: and torment in depar­ting from them. But a wise man is not carefull so much for riches, and how to liue long; as to liue well, and die well. Some householders are so pinching and sparing, both towards them­selues [Page 370] and their neighbours, that although they haue much wealth, yet they cannot find in their hearts to take part in any frugal and good mea­sure of those transitorie blessings, which God in mercie hath giuen them: but feed grosly and very niggardly, and clothe themselues very meanly: keeping a beggerly house, so that (as the common prouerbe is) a man may as soone breake his necke, as his fast. So that the state of such a worldling and couetous rich mā is most miserable, to whom God hath bountifully be­stowed great wealth vpon, and yet hath not the grace to vse his riches well, both to his owne comfort, and also to the good of his neighbour: but heapeth vp riches (as the Psalmist saith) and cannot tell who shall gather them. Psal. 39.6. This shew­eth, that it is the plague of God that befalleth vpon such a miserable couetous worldling, when he hath plentie of al things, The couetous mā in gaining riches, loseth himselfe. and yet wan­teth a liberall heart to imploy and vse thē right­ly. And therefore the holy Ghost, in the book of the Preacher, is not content once or twise to finde fault, and to checke this as a great vanitie and abuse, but speaketh of it fiue sundrie times: where in one place he there saith: There is an euill which I saw vnder the sunne, and it is much among men: A man to whom God hath giuen ri­ches, and treasure, and honour, and he wanteth nothing for his soule of all that it desireth: but God giueth him no power to eate thereof: but a strange man shall eate it vp: this is vanitie, and [Page 371] this is an euill sicknes. Eccl. 2.24. and 3.12.13.22. and 5.17. and 6.1.2. and 8.15.

Such masters and mistresses as would haue their necessarie affaires & businesses dispatched well, and in due time, That which thou canst doe conueniently thy selfe, com­mit it not to another. may not alwaies trust to the doing thereof by their seruants: but they must either see it done, or rather dispatch it themselues, if it be such a thing and businesse as they can and may well do. For such a lowlines is alwaies ioyned with the feare of God, that they that are humbled with religion, (though honourable and worshipfull in calling) do not think thēselues too good to do any good thing. Gen. 9.20.

This vndoubtedly is a thing greatly to be wi­shed for: namely, Masters ought to make good choise of their seruants. that all christian masters and householders, (when they go about to hire any seruants) that then they would be no lesse care­full and inquisitiue of their honestie, godly cō ­uersation, and how they haue profited in the knowledge of God his religion, as they bee to inquire and know what they can do, and what skill and cunning they haue in that Art or Sci­ence which they professe, or els what qualities they haue: and so doing, no doubt (they being carefull to hire religious and godly seruants) their worke and businesses, that such seruants shall take in hand, the Lord will much better prosper, & giue good successe vnto, then other­wise if they shall hire and entertaine irreligious and prophane seruants: as may plainly ap­peare by the example of Iacob and Joseph, two [Page 372] religious and faithfull seruants, Gen. 30.26.27. &c. and 29.2.3 4.5.6.23.23. Esay. 6.6. It is a rare thing for a master to bring his seruant to be godly, who is not godly himselfe. whose masters and their substance was blessed, increased, and multiplied for their sakes. As householders ought to haue care ouer the bodies of their ser­uants: so much more ouer their soules. One compareth the master of the house to the Sera­phin, which came and kindled the Prophets zeale: so he should goe from wife to seruants, and from seruants to children, and kindle thē in the zeale of God, longing to teach and vtter his knowledge, as a Nurse to emptie her breasts.

It is lamentable to think, how that al masters, for the most part, not only such as are prophane and ignorant themselues: but also some that would bee counted great professors, and would seeme to haue great knowledge: yea (and with griefe may it bee spoken) some preachers also that haue had seruants dwelling with them 3. or 4. yeares, or moe, who as they were ignorant in the grounds & principles of Christian religion, when they came first into their seruice, so they went from them as ignorant therein, as they came: and all for want of catechising, being a principall dutie, which not only Ministers, but also al christian masters in conscience are boūd to performe to their families. But of this matter I haue sufficiently intreated of in my last editiō of the Vse and necessitie of catechising: and ther­fore I will of purpose here omit to speake of it.

Another saith, that a master in his familie hath all the offices of Christ: for hee must rule, and [Page 373] teach, and pray: rule like a King, Reuel. 5.10. Act. 16.31.33. and 18.8. 1. Cor. 1.16. Luke. 22.32. and teach like a Prophet, and pray like a Priest. To shew how a godly man should behaue himselfe in his household: when the holy Ghost speaketh of the conuersion of any house-keeper, common­ly he saith: That the man beleeued, with all his household. As Peter being conuerted, must cō ­uert his brethren: so the master being a Prote­stant and a good christian, must indeuour by al good meanes, that his seruants may be such. For therefore God said, that he would not hide his counsell from Abraham, because hee would teach his familie. And surely al dutie of seruants, Gen. 18.17.19. which is not done of conscience, is but eye ser­uice, and faileth at most need: as Ziba betrayed his master, when he should haue defended him. 2. Sam. 16.1, 2, 3, 4. Phil. 11.12.16. Therefore before Onesimus was cōuerted, Paul said he was an vnprofitable seruant: but when he was conuerted, he calleth him more then a seruant: because such a seruant is better then many seruants. Gen. 2. Though Laban was wicked himselfe, yet he reioyced that Iacob his seruant was godly, because God blessed him the better for him. Ioshua saith, I and my household will serue the Lord: Iosu. 24.15. Shewing that masters should re­ceiue none into their houses, but whom they cā gouerne, as Ioshua did: and if any haue crept into their doores, then they must put him forth againe: for Dauid saith, I will not suffer a lyar to stay in my house. He saith not, a swearer, Psal. 10.6.7. nor a theefe, but a lyar: as if he should say, I will rid [Page 374] him out of my doores, They must keepe no idle, prophane, su­perstitious, nor disordered ser­uants in their house. Act. 10.2. Luke. 2.41. before he bee a swearer, and a theefe: for a lyar will grow to a swearer and a theefe in a day, as a dicer groweth to a begger in a night. Therefore it is noted of Cor­nelius, that he himselfe feared God, with all his household. This is reported also of Ioseph and Mary for an example, that they went vp euery yeare, with all their families, to worship at Ieru­salem, that their children & their seruants might learne to know God as well as they. These ex­amples bee written for householders, as others are for Magistrates & Ministers, and Souldiers, that no calling might seeke further then the Scriptures for instruction. Wherfore, as you are masters now, and they your seruants, instruct them, and traine them, as if you would shew what masters your seruants shuld be hereafter.

Next vnto seruants labours and instruction, must bee considered their corrections. As Paul saith, Ephes. 6.4. Fathers, prouoke not your childrē to wrath: so we may say, Masters and Mistresses, prouoke not your seruants to wrath: that is, vse such re­proofes, and such corrections, that you doe not prouoke them, but moue them, that you do not exasperate them, but win them: for reuiling & reprochfull words, and immoderate fiercenes, doth much more hurt then good. And therfore the law of God did charge the master, that hee should not inflict aboue fortie stripes vpon his seruant, Deut. 25.2.3. least hee should seeme despised in his eyes. For while a childe, or scholler, or seruant, [Page 375] doth thinke that he is reproued for loue, or bea­ten with reason, it makes him think of his fault, and is ashamed: but when hee seeth that he is rebuked with curses, and beaten with staues, as though he were hated like a dogge, his heart is hardned against the mā which correcteth him, and the fault for the which he is corrected, and after hee becommeth desperate, like a horse which turneth vpon the striker: and therefore let masters know, that God euen then chides them, whensoeuer they fight or chide in such rage. For though there bee a fault, yet some things must be dissembled and winked at: and some things must bee forgiuen, and some pu­nished with a looke: for he which takes the for­feit of euery offence, shall neuer be in any rest, but vexe himselfe more then his seruant.

But aboue all, we thinke the charitie and ten­der affection of masters, Masters ought to haue a ten­der care of their seruants in their sick­nesse. and loue of seruants to their fellowes in their sicknesse, is especially to be vsed and shewed: at which time the sick are to bee seuerally lodged from the whole, and to be cherished and nourished with more choise and daintie meate. For the performance & care of this dutie, Matth. 8.5.6. Luk. 7.1. the Centurion is commended in the Gospell, which dutie very vnchristianly is neglected of many masters. The master of the house should not disdaine, or shew himselfe so scornfull or vnkinde, as not to visit his sicke seruant: for if brute beasts reioyce to see their masters cherish & feed them, as we may daily [Page 376] see in dogs: how much more may we beleeue, that men & reasonable creatures are much de­lighted and comforted therewith? Whereupon it comes to passe, that good and faithfull ser­uants, liking and affecting of their masters, vn­derstand them at a becke, and obey them at a winke of the eye, or bent of the brow, not as a water-spaniell, but as the hand is sturred to o­bey the mind, so prompt and readie is the duti­full seruant to obey his louing and kind master. For as the hand is said to bee the instrument of instrumēts, being it (indeed) that serues to feed, apparell, and keep cleane the rest of the limmes, and parts of the body, which are also called in­struments: so is the seruant said to be an instru­ment of instruments, because he keepeth all the instruments of household occupied, not only to liue, but to liue well, wherein he differeth from all the other instruments. For where they are things without soule, hee is diuinely enriched with a soule, and herein differeth from the hand, for that the hand is fastned & vnited to the bo­die, but hee is separate and disioyned from his master, and is also different from Artificers: for Artificers are instrumēts of those things which properly they call workmanship: but the ser­uant is instrument of the action, which also is distinguished from workmanship. So that the seruant, if you will rightly vnderstand him, is, a liuely and seuerall instrument of action.

It is very meete and conuenient, that the Mi­stresse [Page 377] or Dame, The wiues be­hauiour with seruants. doe not make her selfe too fa­miliar with her seruāts, or household folks, least they should be too bold to talke, to ieast, or vn­reuerently and vnmannerly to behaue them­selues towards her, and so modestly and wisely to beare her selfe among her seruants, that they may feare, reuerence, and so stand in awe of her as the Mistresse and mother of the house.

And as it is not comely or beseeming, The master must correct his men, and the mistresse her maides. that the wife should take vpon her to rule & correct the men-seruants: so likewise it is not comelie or meet that the husband should meddle with the punishing or chastising of y ^e maid-seruants: so that it is most meete and acceptable to the offender, that the master should correct the men, and the mistresse her maides: for a mans nature scorneth and disdaineth to be be beaten of a woman: and a maides nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man. Therefore we reade, that Abrahā would not meddle with his maid, but committed her to his wife, and said: Doe with her as it pleaseth thee. As if he should say, It belongeth not to me, but to thee. And these are the duties which masters must performe in their life time. All which must be shut vp, with setting order for all things at their death, with especiall exhortations and prayers for religion, for vprightnesse in their callings, for peace and order after them, according to the example of Hezechiah, Dauid, and of Iacob, and of Ioseph: Esay. 38.1. 1. King. 2.12. and Gen. 47.29.30. [Page 378] and 49.29. So that it is the dutie of Christian masters to haue a care, not onely that their fa­milies bee well and christianly gouerned while they liue: but also that after their death, loue, peace, quietnes, and good order may bee con­tinued in their posteritie.

The Seruants dutie towards their Masters.

A seruant is he that hath a master, and is not his own man, or els he that is at the becke and comman­dement of an other. Rom. 6.16. 2. Pet. 2.19. Ioh. 8.34. THis dutie consisteth on 3. poynts: First, that seruants and prentices doe from their hearts, cheerefully, and willingly performe the labors and workes, that their masters, mistresses, or dames, shall commaund them.

2. Secondly, that they be faithfull in things committed to them by their masters, mistresses and dames, that so they may keep their goods.

3. Thirdly, that they bee carefull to obserue the vprightnes of maners, that the wife, the sons and daughters, or other fellow seruants, be not corrupted by their bad counsels, or lewd be­hauiour.

Eph. 6.5.6.7.8. Colos. 3.22.23.24. Tit. 2.9.10. 1. Pet. 2.18.19.20.21.These points are plainly proued by these pla­ces of Scripture quoted in the margine, where­by seruants are straightly charged, reuerently, and faithfully to obey their bodily masters, mi­stresses, and dames, in all things which maybe done without offence to God. And this obe­dience [Page 379] and seruice must be done with feare and trembling, in singlenes of heart, as vnto Christ, 1. Tim. 6.1.2. Luk. 17.7.8.9. being moued with a reuerence to God ward, as though they serued God himselfe, and that as well in the absence of their masters, mistresses, or dames, as in their presence: not constrained­ly, as it were forced or compelled thereto, but heartily and with good will, as the will of God, and as they that serue the Lord, and not men: not onely in respect of the earthly reward, but because they know, and are assured, that of the Lord they shall receiue the reward of inheri­tance, in as much as they serue the Lord Christ. So that hereby all godly seruants, may in few words learne what dutie they owe to their ma­sters, mistresses, and dames: namely, to loue them, and to be affectioned towards them, 2. King. 5.13. The propertie of a good ser­uant. as a dutifull childe is to his father: to bee reuerent and lowly to them in all their words and ge­stures, to suffer and forbeare them, to obey with readie and willing mindes all their lawfull and reasonable commaundements, to feare them, and to bee loth to displease them, to be faith­full and trustie to them and theirs, in deedes and promises, to be diligent and seruiceable, to speake cheerefully, to answere discreetlie, not ouer boldly to dallie with their masters wife, daughters, or maidens: to bee loyall and dutifull to their masters, mistresses, and dames: as Jacob was towards Laban, Gen. 30.27.28.29.30. and 39.5. &c. and Ioseph to­wards Potipher. And they must carefullie [Page 380] indeuour to doe and procure, to the vttermost of their abilitie, that which may be to their ma­sters, mistresses, and dames honestie, credit, and profit, and that as well when they are absent and out of sight, as when they bee present and looke on. This is a qualitie and propertie be­longing to euery good seruant, both men and maides: to wit, that whatsoeuer goods or ne­cessaries of their masters, mistresses or dames, they shall haue charge of, and is committed to their trust and keeping, that they carefully see such things so well and orderly placed, & layd vp, that if there shall be at any time any iust oc­casion to vse any necessarie in their custodie: yea, if it be in the night season, and that without a light, they then not onely can say, in such a place it lieth, but also if they bee required, they can presently fetch the same.

Seruants must take heede that they doe not wittingly and willingly anger or displease their masters, mistresses, or dames: which if they do, then they ought incontinent and forthwith to reconcile themselues vnto them, and to aske them forgiuenes. They must also forbeare thē, and suffer their angrie and hastie words, and in no wise to answere againe spightfully or scorn­fully, neither yet vpon any such occasion to run away. For the Angell taught and willed Hagar the seruant of Sarah, when she fled from he [...] mistresse, Gen. 16.7.8.9. that she should returne and humble her self vnder the hands of her mistresse. So did [Page 381] Saint Paul make agreement betwixt Onesimus a vagabond and theeuish seruant, Phil. 10. &c. and sent him againe to his master Philemon, from whom he was sled away. Seruants and prentices therfore, according to the rule of Gods word, must pa­tiently bea [...]e, and forbeare their masters, mi­stresses, and dames, and doe whatsoeuer lawfull thing they shall command them, not being a­gainst a good conscience. How far forth seruants ought to obey their masters. And therefore they must remember, how farre forth they are bound to obey their masters, that is, Vs (que) ad aras: that is, so farre as a Christian religion suffereth, and so farre forth as they may do it with an vpright conscience: for otherwise, if their masters shall commaund them to do any thing that is vnho­nest, vnlawfull, wicked, vniust, or vngodly, then they must in no wise obey it: 1. Sam. 20.28. &c. and 22.17. Dan. 3.18. Act. 4.19. and 5.29.

The conditions of a good maid-seruant, are, that she ought to bee carefull, faithfull, patient, neat, and pleasant: that she be cleanly, quicke, and handsome, and of few words: honest in her word, deed, and attire: diligent in a house­hold, and haue skill in washing, baking, brew­ing, sowing, and spinning, but chiefly in hol­ding her peace.

Seruants must lay apart all euill conditions, pride, vnfaithfulnesse, brawling, murmuring, Ephe. 4.25.29. lying, swearing, and filthie communication, picking, stealing, and tales telling.

If seruants would carefully mark and learne, [Page 382] and so diligently practise these three short les­sons following: so doing (no doubt) they might both procure and purchase much quietnesse to themselues, and also winne and get the great good will and liking of their masters, Matth. 8.9. mistres­ses, and dames, thereby: First, that they would cheerfully goe when they are bidden. Secondly, that they would come willingly and readily whē they be called. And lastly, that they would remember to shut and sparre the doores after them. The neglect and omitting of this last dutie, if such as be house-keepers will carefully obserue it, they shall then finde, that they su­staine both losse and hinderance by it.

Ayde amongst seruants for helpe and case of one another necessarie.And because it sometime hapneth, that one seruant is too much charged with labour and worke, and another of his fellowes hath more ease then worke, one therefore should so helpe another, as wee see by vse in our owne bodies; when one legge is wearie, we can rest it on the other; or when the right hand is ouer laboured, wee can ease it with the left: and when enter­course of loue and curtesie entreates and per­swades not this fauour and kindnesse amongst them, then should the master himselfe com­maund the negligent and loytering seruant, to helpe and ease the wearie, and him that is well imployed and ouer-charged.

Seruants must to the vtter­most of their power, seeke the commodi­tie and benefit of their ma­sters.Againe, seruants are to be admonished and put in minde, that they doe not (as some doe without all conscience) make spoyle and ha­uocke [Page 384] of their masters goods, wittingly, and willingly, neither yet that they suffer any of those thinges that they are put in trust with, through their heedlesnesse and retchlesnesse, to be mard and lost: but specially that they doe not make spoyle and waste of such broken meate as remaineth after their meales, or at o­ther times: which doing is not onely a hinde­rance to their masters profit, but also a great offence to God, who commaundeth that such broken meate as remaineth, to bee gathered vp and saued, that so nothing bee lost: Iohn. 6.12. Therefore to conclude, let seruants and prēti­ces, both men and maides, assure themselues, that as they deale and behaue themselues to their Masters, Mistresses, or Dames, and their goods, whilst they are seruants: so likewise the Lord in iustice will cause their seruants to deale and behaue themselues to them, when they shall come to be masters or dames themselues, so punishing sin with sin. Matth. 7.2. And as religious and godly masters be very warie and circumspect, when they hire & entertaine any seruants into their seruice, y ^t they be such as are godly, honest, and religious, or at least such as wil be tractable and obedient to such good order and godly gouernmēt, as is, and shall be vsed & exercised daily in their houses: but cōtrariwise, such ma­sters as be prophane & irreligious, haue no care or regard whom they hire, or receiue into their [Page 384] houses, so they will fit and serue their turne for gaine and profit, though they be neuer so lewd, vicious, or vngodly in word or deede: so like­wise, such as are Christian and religious ser­uants, ought also to be very warie and carefull, that they doe not place themselues with any such masters, as are prophane and wicked, or in such townes and parishes where there wanteth good meanes, and exercises both of preaching and catechising, that so they may daily profit and goe forward in that good course which they haue begun: whereas on the other side, such seruants as are without God, irreligious, and ignorant of the meanes of their saluation, care not where, or with whom they dwell: nay, they will not with their good wils, come to dwell either in that towne, or with those ma­sters, where they shall bee restrained and kept from swearing, dycing, carding, tabling, pro­phaning of the Lords day, and other such wic­kednesses: who in thus doing, doe flye from God, and the meanes of their saluation, and so seeke and fol­low after their owne de­struction.