A Iustification OF A STRANGE ACTION OF NERO; In burying with a solemne FVNERALL One of the cast HAYRES of his Mistresse POPPAEA.

Also a iust reproofe of a Romane smell­Feast, being the fifth Satyre of IVVENALL.

Translated by George Chapman.

Imprinted at London by THO. HARPER. M.DC.XXIX.

TO THE RIGHT VIRTVOVS AND WOR­thily honoured Gentleman RI­CHARD HVBERT, Esquire.

SIR, Greate workes get little regard; little and light are most affected with height: Omne le­vesursum; grave deor­sum, you know; For which, and be­cause Custome or Fashion, is ano­ther Nature, and that it is now the fashion to iustifie Strange Actions; I (vtterly against mine owne fashion) followed the vulgar, and assaid what [Page] might bee said, for iustification of a Strange Action of Nero; in bury­ing with a solemne Funerall one of the cast hayres of his Mistresse Pop­pea. And not to make little labours altogether vnworthy the sight of the great; I say with the great defender of little labours, In tenui labor est, at te­nuis non gloria. Howsoeuer; As Sea­men seeing the aproches of Whales cast out empty vessells, to serue their harmeful pleasures, and diuert them from euerting their maine aduen­ture; (for in the vast and immane power of any thing, no thing is dis­tinguisht; great and precious things, basest and vilest serue alike their wild and vnwildy swinges) so my selfe ha­uing yet once more some worthier worke then this Oration, and follow­ing Translation, to passe this sea of [Page] the land; expose to the land and vul­gar Leuiathan, these slight aduen­tures. The rather, because the Tran­slation containing in two or three in­stances, a preparation to the iustifi­cation of my ensuing intended Tran­slations, lest some should account them, as they haue my former con­uersions in some places; licenses, bold ones, and utterly redundant. Though your iudiciall selfe (as I haue heard) hath taken those liberall re­dundances, rather as the necessary o­uerflowings of Nilus; then rude or harmefull torrents swolne with head­strong showers. To whose iudge­ment and merit, submits these and all his other seruices,

GEORGE CHAPMAN.

To the Reader.

BEcause in most opinions of transla­tion, a most asinine error hath got­ten eare and head, that men must attempt it as a mastery in rendring any originall into other language, to doe it in as few words, and the like order; I thought it not amisse in this pore portion of translation; to pick out (like the rotten out of Apples if you please so to repute it) apoore instance or two that endea­uour to demonstrate a right in the contrary. And the rather I take this course ocularily to pre­sent you with example of what I esteeme fit to saue the liberty and dialect of mine owne lan­guage; because there are many valetudinaries, that neuer know the goodnesse of their stomacke till they see meat afore them.

Where therefore the most worthy Satyrist, de­scribes the differences of pages that attend the Lord and the guest at the table, and expresses the disdaine of the Lords page to attend his guest; he speakes for his pride thus;

— sed forma sed aetas
digna supercilio— Which I take out with this bold one:

[Page] And to say truth, his forme and prime beside May well alow him some few grains of pride. To speake truth, is too much, you say; I confesse it, in policy; but not in free and honest poesie. In the other, the words are vtterly altered; it should be so, to avoid verball seruitude. But the sense, I might wish my betters could render no worse. It followes: where hee sets downe the difference betwixt the Lords bread and the guests; where he hath plaid vpon the coursenesse and mustinesse of the guests pantry; he differen­ces his Lords thus;

Sed tener & niveus, mollique siligine factus,
Servatur domino. Which I thus;
But for his bread, the pride of appetite,
Tenderly soft, incomparably white,
The first flowre of fine meale subdu'd in paste
That's a peculiar for my Lords owne taste.

O this you will say is a bold one; which I am too bashfull to answere otherwise then thus, that here the purest bread affects a full description; which I amplifying no more then is needfull for the full facture of it; if I be ouerflowing, my Au­thor is arid; but who would not greedily here haue falne vpon snowy? it lying so faire for him, [Page] put soft faithfully in his proper place, and would euer haue dreamed of subdu'd in paste? because it was not put in his mouth. And I hope it will seem no ouer-broad bold one, to enter where the purest bread out of industry, should make his ex­pected apparance. A number more out of this of no number, I could instance, that would trou­ble men made of greatest number to imitate. But all mastery hath his end, to get great men to com­mend. It is the outward not the inward vertue that preuailes. The candlestick more then the can­dle, is the learning with which blind fortune useth to preferre her fauorites. And who but the spawnes of candlesticks (men of most lucubration for name) winne the day from such Dormise as wake sleeping; and rest onely in those vnprofita­ble and abhord knowledges, that no man either praises or acknowledges.

Me dulcis saturet q [...]ies. Leni pefruar ocio. Ignotus omnibus. Cognitus egomet mihi. Quite opposite to your admir'de and knowne lear­ned man: Qui notus nimis omnibus, Ignotus moritur sibi. And so shall know nothing either in life or death when euery truly-learned mans knowledge especially begins.

Your seruant.

THE FVNERALL ORATION made at the buriall of one of POP­PAEAS hayres.

THis solemne Pageant gra­ced with so glorious a Pre­sence as your Highnesse selfe, and others, as you see, that mourne in their gowns and laugh in their sleeues; may perhaps breed a wonder in those that know not the cause, and laughter in those that know it. To see the mighty Emperor of Rome march in a mourning habit, and after him all the state of the Empire either present or presented; The Peeres in person though with drie eyes, yet God knowes their hearts; Others in their Rankes; One [Page 2] representing the state of a Courtier (as I iudge by his legge;) another of a Citizen (as I iudge by his head;) another of a Souldier, (as I iudge by his looke;) another the state Poeticall (as I iudge by his clothes;) for the state Physicall, it hath no place heere; for who euer saw a Physitian follow a Fune­rall? To see, I say, all this Assemblie mas­king in this Funerall pomp; could hee that saw it imagine any lesse Funerall subiect would follow, then the Herse of your deare Mother Agrippina? or your beloued wife Octauia? or else of her whom you preferre to them both, your diuine Poppaea? At least who would imagine, that a poore hayre broken loose from his fellowes; or shaken off, like a windfall from the golden tree be­fore his time; should haue the honour of this Imperiall solemnitie: And bee able to glory like the flie in the Cart; good heauen what a troope of fooles haue I gathered to­gether?

It is fatall to all honourable actions to fall vnder the scourge of detracting tongues, and for the most part to bee condemn'd be­fore [Page 3] they come to triall. In regard whereof, I will borrow so much of your patience, as that I may in a word or two examine the whole ground of this spectacle: Not doubt­ing but that I shall make it appeare to all vpright eares, that it is an action most wor­thy your wisedome (my gracious Sove­raigne) and that this silly, this base, this con­temptible hayre on this Herse supported, re­ceiues no thought of honour, but what it well deserueth. Etiam capillus unus habet umbram suam, was the saying of your master Seneca; and may not your Highnesse goe one step further, and say, Etiam capillus unus habet urnam suam? To enter into the com­mon place of womens hayre, I list not; though it would afford scope enough for my pen to play in; that Theame hath beene already canvast, and worne halfe threed­bare by Poets and their fellowes. My mea­ning is not to exceede the compasse of this hayre, which we haue here in hand. This sacred beame falne from that sunne of beau­ty Poppaea; whose very name is able to giue it honour, though otherwise base. And al­beit [Page 4] hayre were of it selfe the most abiect excrement that were, yet should Poppaeas hayre be reputed honourable. I am not ig­norant that hayre is noted by many as an excrement, a fleeting commodity, subiect to spring, and fall; & he whose whole head last day was not worth one hayre, it shall bee in as good estate the next day as it was euer before: And such as last yeare had as faire a crop of haire as euer fruitfull head afforded; if there come but a hot summer; it shall bee so smooth that a man may slur a Dye on't. An excrement, it is, I deny not; and yet are not all excrements to be vilified as things of no value: for Maske, Ciuet, Amber, are they not all excrements? yet what more plea­sing to the daintiest sense wee haue? Na­ture giues many things with the left hand, which Art receiues with the right: Subli­mate and other drugges are by nature poy­son: yet Art turnes them to wholsome me­dicines; so hayre though by nature giuen vs as an excrement, yet by Art it is made our capitall ornament. For whereas the head is accounted the chiefe member of the body, [Page 5] hayre is giuen vs as the chiefe ornament of the head; I meane of womens heads; for men haue other ornaments belonging to their heads, as shall hereafter appeare more largely. And howsoeuer hayre fals within the name of excrement; yet it is e­uermore the argument of a rancke or rich soyle where it growes, and of a barren where it failes; for I dare bouldly pronounce in despight of all paltry prouerbs, that a mans wit is euer rankest, when his hayre is at the fullest. I say not his wit is best, but ranckest; for I am not ignorant, that the ranckest flesh is not alwayes the soundest, as the ranckest breath is not alwaies the sweetest. And thus much more I will adde for the generall commendation of hayre, that nature in no part hath exprest such cu­rious and subtill skill as in this (as wee terme it) excrement; for what more excellent point of Art can there be, then to indurate and harden a thinne vapor into a dry and solid substance? And this whole bush of hayre, hath both his being and his nour [...]sh­ment from those sweet vapors, which [Page 6] breathe and steame from the quintessence of the braine, through those subtill pores of the head in which they are fashioned and spunne by natures finger into so slender and delicate a thred; as if she intended to doe like the painter that came to see Apelles, drew that subtill lyne for a masterpeece of his workmanship. And besides the highest place giuen to the hayre, and singularity of workmanship exprest in it, Nature hath en­dowed it with this speciall priuiledge, and left therein so great an impression of her selfe, as it is the most certaine marke by which we may ayme at the complexion and condition of euery man; as red hayre on a man is a signe of trechery, what tis in a woman, let the sweet musique of rime inspire vs; a soft hayre chicken-hearted; a harsh hayre churlish natur'd; a flaxen hayre foolish brain'd; what a black-hayr'd man is aske the prouerbe; if ye beleeue not that, aske your wiues; if they will not tell you, looke in your glasses, and ye shall see it writ­ten on your foreheads. So that nature ha­uing honoured hayre with so great a priui­ledge [Page 7] of her fauour, why should wee not thinke it worthy all honour in it selfe with­out any addition of other circumstance. And if Nature hath grac't the whole Gar­land with this honour, may not euery flower challenge his part? If any hayre, then this hayre (the argument of our pre­sent mourning) more then any: But wee must not thinke (Princes and Senators) that the vndanted heart of our Emperor, which neuer was knowne to shrinke at the but­chering of his owne mother Agrippina; and could without any touch of remorse, heare (if not behold) the murther of his most deare wife Octavia after her diuorce; wee must not thinke (I say) this Adamantine heart of his could resolue into softnesse, for the losse of a common or ordinary hayre. But this was (alas why is it not) a hayre of such rare and matchlesse perfection, whe­ther yee take it by the colour or by the sub­stance, as it is impossible for nature in her whole shop to patterne it: So subtill and slender as it can scarce be seene, much lesse felt; and yet so strong as it is able to binde [Page 8] Hercules hand and foot; and make it another of his labors to extricate himselfe. In a word it is such a flowre as growes in no garden but Poppaeas; borne to the wonder of men, the enuie of women, the glory of the Gods, &c. A hayre of such matchlesse perfection, that if any where it should be found by chance, the most ignorant would esteeme it of infi­nite value, as certaynely some hayres haue beene. The purple hayre of Nisus, where­on his kingdome and life depended, may serue for an instance. And how many yong gallants doe I know my selfe, euery hayre of whose chin, is worth a thousand crowns; and others (but simple fornicators) that haue neuer a hayre on their crownes, but is worth a Kings ransome? At how much higher rate then shall we value this hayre, which if it were not Poppaeas, yet being such as it is, it deseru'd high estimation; but being Pop­paeas (if it were not such) it can bee worth no lesse. When therefore a hayre of this excel­lence is fallen like an Apple from the gol­den Tree, can the losse bee light? And can such losse doe lesse then beget a iust and vn­fayned [Page 9] griefe, not proceeding from humour in our Emperour▪ nor flattery in vs, but out of true iudgement in vs all? Albeit I must adde this for the qualifying of your griefe (most sacred Emperour) that this diuine hayre is not vtterly lost; It is but sent as a Harbenger before, the rest must follow it: And in the meane time this remaines in bles­sed estate; it is at rest; it is free from the trou­ble and incombrance which her miserable fellowes that suruiue are dayly enforc't to endure. The cruell combe shall no more fa­sten his teeth vpon it; it shall no more bee tortured with curling bodkins, tied vp each night in knots, wearied with tyres, and by all meanes barr'd of that naturall freedome in which it was borne: And, which is a tor­ment aboue torments, subiect to the feare­full tincture of Age, and to change his am­ber hew into a witherd and mortified gray. From all this feare and trouble this happie hayre is freed; it rests quietly in his Vrne, straight to bee consecrated as a relique vpon this altar of Venus, there to bee kept as her treasure, till it hath fetcht to it a fayre num­ber [Page 10] more; and then to be employed by Ve­nus, eyther as a bracelet for her paramour Mars, or else (which I rather beleeue) for a Periwig for her selfe; all his fellowes and his Mistresse, hauing from it taken the infe­ction of the falling sicknesse. Dixi.

D. IVNII IVVENALIS LIB. 1. SAT. 5.

To Trebius.

Labouring to bring him in dislike of his continued course of frequenting the Table of VIRRO, a great Lord of Rome.

IF of thy purpose yet, thou tak'st no shame,
But keep'st thy minde (immu­tably) the same,
That thou esteem'st it as a good in chiefe
At others Trenchers to relieue thy life:
[Page 12]If those things thou can'st find a backe to beare,
That not Sarmentus, nor vile Galba were
So base to put in patience of a guest,
No, not for Caesars far-exceeding feast:
Feare will affect me to bleeue thy troth
In any witnesse, though produc'd by oath.
For nothing in my knowledge fals, that is
More frugall then the belly: but say this
That not enough food all thy meanes can find,
To keepe thy gut from emptinesse and wind
Is no Creeke void? no Bridge? no peece of shed
Halfe, or not halfe? Would thy not being fed
At Virro's Table be so foule a shame?
Does hunger blow in thee so false a flame?
As not to tast it nobler in as poore
And vile a place as hath beene nam'd before?
To quake for cold, and gnaw the mustiest grounds
Of Barly-griest (bak'd purposely for hounds)
First, take it for a Rule, that if my Lord
Shall once be pleas'd to grace thee with his bord,
The whole reuenewes that thy hopes inherit
Rising from seruices of ancient merit,
In this requitall amply paid will prooue.
O 'tis the fruit of a transcendent loue,
To giue one victuals; That, thy Table-King
[Page 13]Layes in thy dish, though nere so thinne a thing,
Yet that reproch, still in thine eares shall ring.
If therefore after two moneths due neglect
He deignes his poore dependant to respect,
And lest the third bench faile to fill the ranck,
He shall take thee vp to supply the blanck.
Let's sit together Trebius (saies my Lord)
See all thy wishes sum'd-vp in a word.
What canst thou aske at Ioues hand after this?
This grace to Trebius, enough ample is;
To make him start from sleepe before the Larke,
Poasting abroad vntrus'd, and in the darke
Perplex'd with feare, lest all the seruile-rout
Of his saluters, haue the round run-out
Before he come; whiles yet the fixed Starre
Shewes his ambiguous head; and heauens cold Car
The slow Bootes wheeles about the Beare.
And yet for all this, what may be the cheare?
To such vile wine, thy throat is made the sinck
As greasie woll, would not endure to drink,
And we must shortly looke to see our guest
Transform'd into a Berecynthian-Priest.
Words make the Prologue to prepare the fray,
And in the next Scene, Pots are taught to play
The parts of weapons: Thy red Napkin now
[Page 14]Descends to tell thee of thy broken-Brow:
And such euents doe euermore ensue
When you poore Guests, and Virro's seruing crue
Grow to the heat of such vnciuill Warrs,
The vile Wine made the Bellowes to your Iarrs.
For Virro's-selfe, the wine he drinks was borne
When Consuls ( Phaebus-like) appear'd vnshorn,
A Grape that long since in the wars was prest
By our confederate- Marsians, and the rest
Of which, no drop his longing-frend can git
Tho [...]gh blowne in fume vp with a Cardiack fit.
Next day he likes to taste another field,
The Albane hills, or els the Setine yeeld
Whose race and rich succession if you aske,
Age hath decayd, and sicknesse of the caske,
Such Thrasea & Heluidius quaft, stil crownd
When Brutus birth, and Cassius they renownd.
Virro himselfe in solemn Bowles is seru'd
Of Amber, and disparent Beryl keru'd;
But to thy trust, no such Cup they commit,
Or if they doe, a Spie is fix'd to it
To tell the stones; whose firme eye neuer fayles
To watch the close walks of thy vulturous nails,
Giue leaue (saies Virro) and then takes the Cup,
The famous Iasper in it lifting-vp
[Page 15]Inglorious prayses: for 'tis now the guize
Of him and others to transferre such prize
Off from his fingers to his Bowl's; that were
Wont to grace swords: & our yong Troian Peere
That made Iarbus iealous (since in loue
Prefer'd past him by Dido) vs'd t'improue
By setting them in fore-front of his sheath;
But thy Bowle stands an infinite beneath
And beares the Beneuentane-Coblers name,
Whose Gallon drunke-off, must thy bloud enflame
And is so craz'd, That they would let it passe
To them that Matches giue, for broken Glasse;
Now, if by fumes of wine, or fiery-meat
His Lordships stomacke ouer-boyle with heat,
Ther's a cold liquor broght that's made t'outvie
The chill impressions of the North-East-skie.
I formerly affirm'd, that you and he
Were seru'd with wines of a distinct degree,
But now remember it belongs to you
To keepe your distance in your water too.
And (in his Pages place) thy Cups are brought
By a swarth foot man, from Getulia bought,
Or some steru'd Negro, whose affrightfull sight
Thou wouldst abhorre to meet in dead of night
Passing the monuments of Latia,
[Page 16]In his eye waites the flowre of Asia,
A Iewell purchas'd at a higher rate
Then Martiall Ancus, or King Tullus State.
(Not to stand long) Then all the idle things
That grac'd the Courts of all our Roman Kings
If then thy Bowle his Nectars store shall neede
Addresse thee to his Indian Ganymed.
Thinke not his page, worth such a world, can skill
Or does not scorne, for thred bare Coates to fill,
And (to say truth) his forme and prime beside,
May well allow him some few Graines of pride.
But when does he, to what thou want'st descend?
Or thy entreaties, not contemnet' attend?
Supply of water craving, hot or cold:
No, he ( I tell you) in high scorne doth hold
To stirre at euery stale dependants call;
Or that thou call'st for any thing at all,
Or sit'st where his forc'd-Stand, his pride de­praues;
Houses of State abound with stately slaues.
And see, another's proud disdaines resist
His hand to set thee bread: And yet what is't
But hoary cantles of vnbowlted grist?
That would a iaw-tooth rowze; and not admit
(Though nere so base) thy baser throat a bit:
But for his bread, the pride of appetite,
[Page 17]Tenderly soft, incomparably white;
The first flowre of fine meale, subdu'd in paste,
That's a peculiar for my Lords owne taste;
See then thou keep'st thy fingers from offence,
And giue the Pantler his due reuerence:
Or say thou should'st be (malepertly) bold,
Seest thou not slaues enough, to force thy hold
From thy attempted prize, with taunts like these,
Hands off, forward companion, will you please
With your familiar Crible to be fed,
And vnderstand the colour of your bread?
Then grumbles thy disgrace: and is it this
For which so oft I haue forborne the blisse
Of my faire wife, to poast with earliest speed
Vp to Mount Esculine, where agues breede?
When my repaire did vernall Iove prouoke,
To driue his wether through my winter cloake
And in his bitter'st hailes, his murmurs broake?
But let vs to our Cates, our course addresse
Obserue that Lobster seru'd to Virro's messe,
How with the length of his extended limbes
He does surcharge the Charger: how the brims
With lust-full Sperage are all ouer-stor'd?
with what a taile, he ouer-tops the bord?
In seruice first borne-vp betwixt the hands
[Page 18]Of that vast Yeoman; But, for thee, there stands
A puny-Cray-fish, pent in halfe a shell,
The dish not feast enough for one in Hell.
The fish he tastes, swimmes in an oyle that grew
In Campany, and drank Venafrian Dew.
But, for the Worts (poore snake) presented thee,
Whose pale aspect, shewes their infirmity;
They drinke an oyle, much of the Curriers stamp,
Exquisite stuffe, that sauours of the lamp.
For know, that for your Bord, is billeted
An Oyle that from the Lybian Cane is shed
The burthen of a sharpe Numidian Prow;
An Oyle, for whose strength Romans disauow
To Bathe with Boccharis: an Oyle whose smell
'Gainst Serpents, doth an Amulet excell.
Next, for my Lord, a Mullet see seru'd-in,
Sent from the Corsicke shore; or of a fin
Bred in Sicilia's Taurominian-Rockes,
All our Seas being exhausted: all our Flockes
Spent and destroy'd, while our luxurious diet
Makes hauocke, and our Kitchins neuer quiet
Still with vnwearied nets, that no truce keepe
Ransacke the entrayles of th'adioyning deepe;
Nor respite our Etrurian Frie to grow,
And now our markets, their chief purueiance owe
[Page 19]To some remote, and ditionary coast;
Thence come the Dainties, that our Kitchins boast.
Such as to buie, the vulture Lenas deignes:
Such as to sell, Aurelia enterteines.
In messe with that, behold for Virro lies
A Lamprey of an exemplary Size,
That for dimension beares the price from all
Which Gulphes Sicilian sent his Festiuall,
For while the South conteynes himselfe; while he
Lies close, and dries his feathers in his Lee,
Our greedy Pursenets for their gaine despise
The danger that in mid Charibdis lies.
Now, for his Lamprey, thou art glad to take
An Eele, neere cozen to a hideous Snake,
Or els a freckled- Tiberine, bit with frost,
And he, the poorest slaue of all the coast;
Fed with the torrent of the common Sewer,
And swims the towne-ditch, (where 'tis most im­pure.
Here would I on himself a word haue spent,
So he inclind an eare beneuolent:
Nor doe we such beneuolences craue,
As Seneca his meane acquaintance gaue;
Such as good Piso; such as Cotta made
To deale for Largesse; a familiar Trade;
For times haue beene, that in the worlds account,
[Page 20]The title of munificent did mount
Aboue triumphant, or imperiall Baies:
But our desire, in this due limit staies,
That you will make, when you entreat a guest,
Ciuill respect the Steward of your Feast:
Doe this and be (as many Lords are more)
Rich to your-selfe, and to your followers, poore.
Before him see a huge Goose-liuer set,
A Capon cramb'd, euen with that Goose; for great
A whole wild Boare, hid in his smoaking heat
That gold-lock't Meleagers dart deseru'd,
And after all this, Virro's-selfe is seru'd
With pure-dress'd Mushroms: be the spring then freed,
And wished thunders, make his meales exceed.
And then the Gully-gut (Aledius) cryes
O Lybia, keepe with thee thy Wheates and Ries,
And ease thy Oxen, sending these supplies.
And that no indignation want to thee;
(As bound t'obserue) the Caruer thou must see
Dancing about his businesse: and he
That teaches him the Lawes, to the true life
Of caruing comely; with his flying knife
Touching at euery ioynt he carues, before
He dares th'attempt; till not a gesture more
In all his dictates can deserue offence,
[Page 21]Nor must your note faile, how huge difference
There is 'twixt the vnlacing of your hare,
And Hens dissection: 'gainst which, if you dare
But whisper, like a three-nam'd Noble man,
Like Cacus, struck by hands-Herculean,
Thou shalt bee, by the heeles, drag'd forth the place:
But when doth Virro then vouchsafe the grace
To drinke to thee? Or touch the Cup that thou
hast, with thy lippes prophan'd? Or which of you
So desperate is? so lost? to bid the King
Drinke to me Sir? No: there is many a thing,
That thred-bare coates dare not for feare bring forth,
But if some god, or god-like man; or worth
Better then Fate, would Wealth bestow on thee,
Fit to maintaime a Knight of Romes degree,
How huge a peece of man should'st thou ascend
Rais'd out of nothing? how much Virro's friend?
Giue Trebius; Set to Trebius; Brother (now)
Please you these puddings taste? O moneys, you
He giues this honour: you, these Brother are,
Yet notwithstanding, if thou please to share
His Lordship with him; or become his King
You must to Court no young Aeneas bring
Nor daughter (though his daintier) to be
Play-pheeres with Virro's daintiest progenie,
[Page 23]But Childlesse be: a pleasing and deare friend
A barren wife makes: but suppose she lend
Thy lappe much issue (euen at one birth three)
So thou be Rich, Virro will ioine with thee,
In ioy of that thy prating progenie;
And euer when the Infant Parasite
Comes to the Table, asking his delight,
Virro commands it, all his appetite
To all his cheap-priz'd friends, they serue the bord
With dangerous Toad-stooles: Mushroms for my Lord,
But such as Claudius pleas'd to tast, before
His wif's guift came, that made him tast no more.
Virro commands for him, and all the rest
Of the Virronian rancke, fruit of such Feast
As thou shalt onely in their odour eat;
Such as Phaeacia's endlssse autumnes sweat;
Or thou wouldst thinke got from the golden trees
That grew in guard of the Atlantides,
Where thou eat'st spaky fruit, of that sowre sort
That fresh-traind-souldiers feed on in their fort,
Bestow'd on them in practise of their Art
At a stuft goat-skin, to bestow a dart,
Fearing for their default, the scourges smart.
Perhaps, for sauing cost, thou maist conceiue
That Virro feeds thee so▪ No▪ 'tis to greeue
[Page 22]Thy greedy liquorous appetite, because
There is no Comedy of more applause,
Nor any excellentest Zany can,
More then a weeping-gut, delight a man:
All is then done: (if we must teach thine eares)
To make thee purge thy choler by thy teares,
And liue still gnashing of thy great-eye-teeth,
Thou think'st, he thinks thee free; & not beneath
Guests for his loue and Grace: but he knowes well
Thee onely taken with his kitchins-smell:
Nor thinks amisse: For who, so naked liues,
That twice, on his entreates, attendance giues?
Vaine hope of supping-well, deceiues you all:
But see (say you) that halfe-eat hare will fall
In his guift, to our shares: Or of that bore
Some little fragments, that his Hanches wore:
Or sure that Cap'net; when, for all prepar'd;
(Your musty bread par'd cleane) and no bit shar'd
Of all those meats of marke, and long'd-for dishes
Your vaine hopes vanish, and y'are mute as fishes.
He's wise that serues thee so: for if thou can
Beare all, thou shouldst: and he's no vniust man
That layes all on thee, euen to stoope thy head▪
To the fooles Razor; and be buffeted:
[Page 23] [...] if thou dost, nor let'st thy Forag [...] [...]
Besides to suffer Virro's whipping cheare,
With all the sharpe Sauce, that he can extend,
Thou'rt worthy such a feast, and such a friend.
FINIS.

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