A SHORT PRELVDIVM to the friendly Reader.
The Castle
This narrow lane of virtue with her 4 capt.
Prudence▪ Iustice. Fortitude Temperāce.
resceyues to rest.
of rest
this wide field with these 3 captaynes
[...] world. The flesh. The Deuil
Leades al to distru [...] ction.
The vvorldly souldiours.
THe godly, polliticke, & wise gouernment of the one, w t the wicked, subtil, & diuilish illutions of the other, euer since their beginning & first entring into field of worldly fight, which was when Adam at the first subtle intisement, & temptinge tounge of Eue, fyrst puld the Apple of y e tree, is by many learned and godlye auctors far mor [...] aptly discribed, better set forth, more largelye & playnly publyshed then possibly by anye here at this tyme, can be spoken or imagined.
And the lyke I may say of euerye other particular theame, in this shorte, & small pamphlet hereafter following.
For euery litle strayte and norrowe path which here is taken woulde most easilye conduct and playnly lead a most cunning and perfite penman into a moste ample, and large field most pleasant and necessary.
And therefore leauinge that wyde and fertil field wherin most sweete, holesom, and necessarye flowers of greate good, and requisite matters might bee gathered (as to intreate now at this present of [Page 3] these three vyses and fower virtues, with the substance of euery other matter hereafter followinge,) I rather bende my iourney forthwith according to the tytle of this toy, into a more secrete and syldome used garden, where I intende not to gather of all sortes of flowers such plenty as to make therof a great and goodly garland, but rather more likely no flower of pl [...]ure at al. For wel do I know, that hardly should I finde (were I in place neuer so plentifull) such a flower of pleasure or delyght, which hath not alreadye heretofore, by some or other bene presented vnto many tender noses, who perhaps if agayne they should be tryed with the lyke, would rather stop their noses, & disalow therof, beyng so oft cloyde with such accustomed sauors, thē they would prayse the sweetnes thereof were it neuer so pleasaūt, which we dayly see by great experience, as for example this for one amonge many others may well bee noted, y t when wanton youth most [Page] wyldlye flyinge here and there exercysing the youthful winges of his vnconstant and flickeringe mynd, frō place to place, light happily vpon some fertile, and pleasaunt ground, where he fynds great plentye of sweete and comfortable flowers: then settelynge his mynde according to the humour of his eye, hee syts him downe as it were vppon some one chois [...] spetial moulehil neere vnto to the flower he best delytes: and there resting his bodye from tyme to tyme, (though with a restles mynde) rather willing to feede the desire of his wantō eye. in stil perusing & beholding his chosen & long eye bitten flower, then to satisfy his hungry and needy stomacke, w t any other nourishing or necessary food: at length after many bashful, & priuate attemptes, sometyme handling y e stalk & oftentymes kissing the leaues: gathering vp some crummes of courage, suddaynly takes it vp by the rootes, & caryes it cleane awaye: which lightly hee kepes for a tyme most louingly, somewhile in his hand, somewhile in his bosome [Page 4] and strayght in his lap, somtyme to his nose, some tyme to his lips, & not vnlike but somtyme to his bed: for that he wakes no soner in y e morning then he desyres to haue it neere his nose, to bee short, his delightes be such therein, as who knows not that he esteemes it before all other growinge herbes, or flowers vnder the sunne: he loues it according to the old saying of the poet Anacreon, as a sweete mischiefe, and with the saying of Propertius, as a sweete tyranny because he indureth his tormēts willingly, & is sildome content to settle or quiet his mynde where he lyues, but alwayes there where hee loues. Hee stickes not for the loue thereof to aduē ture the ouerthrow of his owne body w t Roderick of Spaine, who lost his kingdome for the loue of Camma: or to enterprise the deathe and destruction of a straunger, with Retormodicus, who ouerthrewe y e whole state of the Lacedemonians for the loue of Scedasus daughters, & w t Cateline, who slue his owne sonne for the loue of Orestilla. And all this not withstandinge, after a whyle, [Page] his eager sight beyng once satisfyed, a [...] the rest of his senses which before toke their delightes: grow as greate to mislikingr as before in theire first beginning they kyndled and grew to loue, a thing no lesse straunge vnto all such as stil remayne free their flower to chose, thē it were miraculous for y e hot moūt Aetna, to become the cold hil Caucasus, & whose lo [...] soeuer, it is to tread y e world do not vnlikely stūble oftentymes vpon many such (though lost and cast away) pleasant and sweete flowers. This example the worlde ouer is dayly seene. And therefore now, since that such famous inuentions be so cunningly deuysed, and seuerallye knyt vp togeather, you may for a pēny haue in your pocket choyse of many prety toyes at al times to delight you. I know it were now in vayne for me to striue to gather y e like, though my inforced ydle leasure might wel serue therūto, for in y t it should be superfluous, it woulde rather greatly yr [...] thē any thing at al delight: but my [Page 5] intent is (though I bee longe in comming therto) in this my chosen and solitary Garden, to pick out y e most tryflyng and vaynest weedes that possiblye may be foūd, and therwith to make (to passe my weary tyme) a small and litle poesy, the rather for that I know, many be so cloyde with pleasaunt and sweete sauors, as they oftentymes seeke for most filthy and s [...]inking weedes to sinel vpon. But as I woulde not stryue beyonde my skill to pricke this ful of pleasaunt and delectable flowers, euen so would I be loth to poyson it with such vnholesome and s [...]inking weedes as it should yeeld too fylthy or yrksome a sauour. Therfore if I be not deceyued, it shal yeeld very barely any sauor eyther sweete or lower at all: and in [...]o doinge as the sweetenes shal litle delite you, y e sower tast shall as little offende you. And therfore to be short, leauing these circumstaunces and endles rownd running about the bush. The first beginning hereof (though more brieflye then cunningly) showes the weake and f [...]ble [Page] entring of man first into this wicked worlde nourished vp, and safelye kept by three chosen nurses (though in more soft and gentle bandes) not much vnlike to the pore captiues and prisoners vnder the custody and chaynes of theire appoynted gaylors, vntill the Session dai of their gail deliuery: wher straight they reseaue their iudgemēts (as by the law rightly condempned) to bee led into the wyde wildernes of this wretched world, wher (as pilgrims) passyng lōg youthful and wearye tyme, some lyght happely into the hands of good & Godly disposed men, some into the hands of most cruel tyrāts, whose simple, sēceles & bru [...]ish mynds serue thē cōtinually to tormēt and destroy y e next vnarmed naweake men, y t by chaunce fall into their deuilish dints, in reuēge of some iniury done vnto them before theyr equals, or superiours: from the which I pray god deliuer me, & preserue al others. Some agayne are chosen and placed in princely seat of rule: some in place of diuine coū sell, some in place to [...]ourish and seede [Page 6] a cōmon wealth, some to cure the sick, and diseased bodies, and some continually in place to deceaue the whole world with whom no sticklers at any time, as yet coulde euer preuale, til death him selfe in proper person, coms to play his most playne and vnskilfull quarters, as hereafter in this small Pamp [...]er, doth more playnly & briefely appere, a thing though vnfi [...]ly intermingled with such idle and vayne inuentions, and though vnaptly bearyng the title aboue named in that the name of god ought neuer to be so taken in vayne as once to bee named vnder the title of such a toy: yet my intent, and matter therin considered, it shall not bee greatlye amis, if by the reader it may be construed to the best: (which I desire) for I stryue not to iustefy the perfectnes therof, informe, in style, in matter, or in any thyng. And therefore I may not otherwise but cō mend it (as a tryling [...]oy) vnno the best and most friendly construction.
ANd therfore the necessary & wayghty force hereof considered, who could most cunningly or closly conuay himselfe into the sight of this most cruell & [Page 8] cōtinual battaile) bearyng alwaies before his body, true faith, as his buckler, & placing constancy as a sure bulwarke of defence, should doobtles daily behold far more wonderful wracke, & destruction, with more secrete subtil pollicies & deceiptes, thē through y e whole world in any our accustomed bloudy conflicts, betwixt man & mā, he could possibly see al dayes of his life. No blowes be ther to be seene, no noyse to be hard, no vaūt of victory at any tyme to bee made, the slaughter be it neuer so great, is euer st [...] and scilēt. Al deadly wounds being there daily and howerly infinite and innumerable one only Phisition doth alwayes cure, who farre beyond all art, doth so continually strengthen and refresh all those incāped and fightynge souldiers, as from the tyme they first pitched their field vnto this day the battayle neuer quailde, nor yet till the last hower euer shall. But now beyng outward (as an vnskilfull passīger of this my shorte and easye iourneye, yf I should contrary to my farmer promise, [Page] forsake my playne and easy trot, and sodenly fal into a more swift, and curious pace, intending to leape and runne beyond my limits into this wyde fielde, & world of continuall warre. Uppon my returne agayne, you woulde certaynly expect a perfect & true report of some great and wonderful newes, the order and manner of their field, with discription of some notable late battaile, and conquest, with many other questions, which (for want of experience) I cānot imagine: and then if my iudgemēt, disposition, eloquence, and memorye ( [...]he chiefest tooles, and instruments of euery cunning and perfect wise messenger) being tried with the touchstone of some artificiall workeman: shall appeare so vtterlye voyde of anye good, or perfite mettall, as in no parte able to perfourme what is loked for, [...] shall iustly be condempned, in so foolishly disclosing mine owne im [...]ecility & weaknes: which otherwise by scilēce I might stil haue cōcealed. Therfore I wil not take vpon me as a messenger of any skill, to [Page 9] make any report therof. But whosoeuer can wysely and wel dispose himself shal more fitly be his owne messenger. And ther may behold the innumerable number of worldlinges, hauinge continually their desyred fort in view, dayly marching forward therunto, howe by many subtill and secrete pollicyes they they be alwayes forestald, & stopt theyr waye, and shall playnly see, agaynst euerye lone and single man, thre most stronge and mightye aduersaryes, the world, the flesh, and the deuil, who cō tinually keepe themselues most strongly in armes, hauinge wonne y e rule and dominion of the greatest parte of the worlde, onely leauing a most narrow & straight lane vnto this our fort and castle of rest, wherin standes Vertue, beyng at continuall warre and defiance against those deadly and mortal enemies of man, as strongly and as surelye furnished against them, as possiblye may be. With continuall becks and signes: not fayling dayly and howerly to sende her secrete priuy scoutes, and messengers [Page] from man to man, to instructe and geue vs knowledge of that narrowe and secret way, and therwith neuer refuseth, to such as be willing to followe her to accompany and assist them, with what strength she can possibly make▪ to safecanduite and leade them through y e thickest of theire ennemyes. But this vertue (beynge a continuall and open fiend vnto vs) with all her most & strō gest furniture of munition and defēce, is dayly met withall, and incountered and yet strongly abides those continual conflictes, sometyme escaping with victorye, and sometyme with losse: but most syldome doth she returne conquered vnlesse the dissemblinge Captiue (whom her purpose is to safecunduit & defende) most cowardlye quayles, and shrynkes from her by the way.
The pore souldiour, is no soner espyed by his diligent dayly attendantes, the world, the flesh, and the deuil, to be creaping a way vnder the bāner of vertue, but strayghte they flye vnto him with as sure hold as possible may be, & then [Page 10] beyng faynt harted, easy to be assured, by their glorious and subtill outwarde showes of deceyt, hee easily lets goe his hould by vertue, and yeeldes to their tyxa [...]ous (though secrete) fleshly, & carnall tugges. But contrariwyse if he be so strong of courage not easy to be caried by any secrete or subtil whyrl [...]wynde, or so wary in wisdome and foresight, as to eschew all their forewarned snares, and willing to withstand those his ennemyes vnto death, then shee most louingly, and readily imbraceth hym, as her adopted child: and then to beholde how gently and easily she lyke a natural mother, drawes hym by little and little, out of the tearynge Teeth of those most cruell tyrantes, and how cunningly and carefully shee striues to cary him safely throughe their daungerous and cruell force, it woulde doubtles dryue all her strongest ennemies most earnestlye and faythfully to loue, honor, and obay her, euen to the end.
And thus in vewynge the secret and cunning warres bētwixt the world and [Page] this our mortall life, (wherein much more may bee vnderstode, then by this ydle pen, can possibly bee vttered) our subtill and secrete ennemyes wee shall the better es [...]hew, and our safest way to the castell and seate of euerlasting rest, shall more easilye learne, which (as seemes is not the broade and common beaten way, but rather a very narrow and sildome troden mossey lane. And as our foresayde aduersaries with al their armye, and might be dayly remayning in the one, geuinge vs continuall repulce in all attemptes vnto this our euerlasting fort: and trayninge vs lyke dronken myse into theire flatterynge pytfalles of euerlastinge destruction: Euen so our most louing and naturall friend vertue. with al her power continually possesseth the other (which is y e narrow lane) alwayes readye on the other syde, there to resceaue vs in. And theruppon is it written, though otherwyse. as wel it may be vnderstood)
❧ The friendly greeting and comminge togeather betwene Idlenes, & a student.
THe godly & wel disposed man, satlinge Student. hymselfe both in body and mynd, (bowyng as faythfully the knees of his hart, as many do faynedly in most dissemblynge manner the knees of their outward bodyes) vnto his deuoute meditations, & prayers, is very sensably to his feeling as he certaynlye thinkes, pulled oftentimes by the head oft times by the legg▪ and some tyme by other parts of the body. It is not a thinge strange or rare to be heard of, that most straunge & terrible visions haue also appered vnto such kynd of men, to moue them vnto terror and feare of purpose to remoue them from their such deuotion and prayer: who it is, or what it is, that doth worke [Page] and bryng such continual lettes, and i [...] cumbraunces vnto them, I leaue to the graue and learned deuynes, whose profession (for want of knowledge) [...] neither dare, nor can take vpō me to shew: yet for my playne and short opiniō therin, I thinke it is the secrete snatching, and priuy byting degge of hel.
But the godly and holy men are so dayly & hourly bitt [...]n therwith, as come y e deuil himselfe, his dog, or his damme, or what saynt soeuer of his hee listes to sende, the ofter they fele themselues bitten, and snatcht at, the ofter and more greatly do they take occasiō therby, not onely to pray the more deuowtly, but also more hartelye to reioyce vnto themselues, knowing that the deuil, with al hys companye of Angelles, is neuer so diligent and eager in busyinge himselfe to winne, but where he lighteth in such running company of gamsters, as he is alwayes in feare to loose, which ys neuer among dysers, and carders, nor yet in any alchouse, or ryplynge pastymes, [Page 12] neuer in any feasting, or banketinge, nor in braue and gorgious showes, nor yet in any one delyght, or worldly pleasure at al, for in some of these, as in continuall dysing and cardinge, which is neuer without swearyng and staring, in continuall feasting and banketting whiche is neuer without dronkennes, and gluttony with such lyke, he is neuer in fear among thē, as once to loose. But which of them soeuer can best and most cleanly beare his ale, or with hys cunninge slaightes and ingling trickes, deceaue most, and win of all the rest. [...]he denill for his part is sure at the end as cleanly to beare him, and as cunninglye to win them all, and as in worldly delytes hee lykewyse resteth hymselfe quiet, neuer offering any trouble or disquiet vnto any of them, onely in hope that the pleasures of the world wil be sufficient instrumentes to drawe them also to the bente of hys bowe, as well as if he himselfe were in presence among them: & this appeiseth his bottomles and insatiable gulph, [Page] desyrous if possibly he might to drown and draw vnto himselfe, the pore innocentes and soules of al the worlde. But there be many godly and well disposed men, who by the continuall helpe, and inspiration of the holy Ghost, haue at all attemptes as great cunninge to preuent hym, as he hath alwayes subtillye in seeking to tempte and deceaue them: they neuer muse or start at anye of hys sodayne or secrete shadowes, but continuallye laboure and bend themseues to withstand his such wicked deuises.
And now to shew my present and secret trouble, euen so in the verye same manner, though not setling my selfe in the lyke Godlinesse of deuotion, as before mentioned, yet bendyng my selfe vnto a worldly and necessary studye, I feele euen now of late very censably & playnly many secret and priuy twitches, but by whom I cannot imagine (hearing nor seyng any thing at all,) as for the deuil I hope it is not, for man or woman it cannot possibly be: and therfore (desyrous to follow as nere as I canne, the [Page 13] steppes of these godly, and well disposed mē,) what soeuer it is, vntil I hear further therof, I wil not so easily be ouercome.
Idlenes.
Sir to driue you from your dumps and great admirations, it is euen I.
Studient.
Friend Idlenes, I may not say welcome. But since you are come, geue me your hande: what was the cause, that you so oft & so secretly puld m [...]e by the sleeue, that I could neuer neither see, nor heare you?
Idlenes.
Oh syr, it was for verye mere good will which I did beare, as alwayes I haue borne most willingly vnto you.
For loking priuely and peping ouer your shoulders, and seynge you so earnestly [Page] besyde your booke. I thought w t my selfe, if sodaynlye I shoulde haue blowen out my trumpet, or haue breathed any loude sounde, or synging into your eares, or if sodainly I should haue appeared vnto you, I mighte perhaps haue so frighted, and driuen you vnto such a sodayne start and terrible feare, as durynge your lyfe euer after, you mighte thereby haue fallen into some wonderful and great paulsey: and therfore in the most gentle and frēdly manner I coulde, I easily and priuily (fearing your such disturbance) puld you by y e sleeue: Whereupon hearynge you so grauely beginning your grounde, and running such descant vpon the Deuill, hys dogge, and his damme, I stoode a longe tyme (as though greatle amazed) expectinge your laste stroke, and how you would make your close: wherby at length, I might plainly perceyue you in a manner likened mee (though not named) vnto the Deuill and hys dogge, which (consideryng my continuall [Page 14] friendlye mynde towardes you) I could not chuse, but take very vnkyndlye.
Student.
Friend iniury, I knowe you haue not bene so baselye brought vp in beggers bosome with ignoraunce, but that you do as well know the order and course of this worlde, as the greattest learned, & most famous Clarke of all: your white heade, and many yeares in greate experience haue brought you sufficiēt knowledge, to counteruayle the best: continuall companye and oft handlynge doe bryng the wyld and brutish beastes, at y e length to be tame: and manye Byrdes, as Parattes, and Pyes, with such lyke oftentymes to speake. Experience teacheth vs, that companye many tymes doth worke greate wonders: and what is it that company will not cause, The old Prouerbe is, that companye oftentymes doth make many olde men verye good cookes: and my frend take you frō [Page] company take your heade from your shoulders. Somtyme like a roge, and shakeragge, halfe naked, a man may fynd you daūcing among beggers, some while brawling, and fighting, and some time cracking of lice, somtime in mean apparaile, in tauernes, and tipling houses, tossing, and swilling, and cracking of crownes, sometyme agayne, in most braue and gorgious attyre, a companiō with the best: to be short, of what estate or calling is he of, into whose company sometyme or other, you haue not intruded your selfe.
Therfore beyng so well acqnaynted, as I know you are with the natures, and dispositions of all men, it semeth verye straunge vnto me, that now you shoulde seeme so ignorant of me, as to take anye thing vnkindly whatsoener I haue spoken of you: for you know right wel, that notwithstanding most men are content secretly oftentymes to entertayne you, yet few or none at any tyme, but roges and knaues, dare for their credits sake, openly allow or commend you: it can not [Page 15] bee also vnknowen vnto you, that you haue alwayes bene cronacled to be y t author and mother of all mischiefe & vice, calling your wits togeather, and remē bring your selfe, you know more herein thē I can tel you. Therfore neuer take the wordes of your friende, when they seeme to offende you, but rather hys mind. For notwithstanding my former speech I wil not be to curious, nor shye of your company, a wyse mā (I know) sometyme wil admit of the simple foole and prating knaue to sit at hys bord, the one to make sport in laughing, y e other in talkinge, and both to passe away the tyme: for a yonge man to bee alwayes graue, vntil his very roote beginnes, & growes to bee gray: were surely in my concept as greate a follye in hym, as if alwayes he should be ydle. Therfore my friend, since now you haue so gently, so aduysedly, and so friendly presēted your selfe vnto me, and beynge I knowe the messenger and seruante, and atturney of an atturney, discourage not your selfe at any thing I haue spokē, but euen as [Page] bould as you would be with the greattest acquayntāce you haue, be euen now as bould with mee, & acquaynt me with the cause of your comming.
Idlenes.
Syr as you haue sayd I confesse in euery part it is true, I fynd now greate reasō doth wish me to take in very good part what soeuer ye haue alreadye spoken, or shal hereafter euer speake.
A QVESTION, BY IDLEnes put forth to the Studente.
SIr, if my vayne and ydle motions, shoulde not trouble your graue and well occupyed mynde, I woulde with your patience craue your aduyse and iudgement in a matter (though verye common and easy) wherin at this time my ydle braynes be some thing basyed.
Student.
My busines is not so greate, but I may very wel afford to graunt you audyence, and also answeare you if neede shal so require, & therfore let me heare your mynd, and shew mee the troublesome and clammye way wherein you, sticke, and if my skill may possiblye worke you out a more playne and easye passage, you shall not lōg misse of your such earnest desire.
Idlenes.
Sir, since your curtesy is so great to bend your self so gently, & so friendly towards me, I hope I shall not neede in hast to scrangle my wittes togeather in vtteryng my mynd at this tyme vnto you, for I haue so oftentymes heretofore, & euen now of late to my cost, foūd y e old prouerbe to be true, that hast maketh wast as now wherin I may chuse I wil rather crepe with the snayl, then runne with the Harte: for wee see by experience, that the slowest going: Asse ys alwayes the surest bearynge beast, [Page] the slowest winged hauke (if any thing good besides) doth commonly shew the best sport, and kepes her selfe longest from any mischaunce: for hast we see y t many of the femenine sex, haue sodaynly fallen backwarde to many incurable and great mishaps, and of men, as many haue tumbled headlonge forwarde, puttinge themselues in daunger of as greate perril. do wee not dayly se, that many for hast offer to put meate into their mouthes, gaping full wyde, and yet puts it besydes? and many w t spone meates, before their mouthes can be open, chop the spone agaynst their teeth, and all to besquatter their lippes and beardes if they haue any? do not manye drinke so hastely, as sometime very suddenlye they almost quackle, and choke themselues, and then (if ashamed) wil say I haue drunke a crum? haue you not knowen diuers men, and sometyme many women, to fare y e worse for their snatching. Such as can tary tyme and leasure do cōmonly fare best, & yet I agree y e tarier thinks always long, vnto [Page 17] what tyme this tarying must haue relatiō, I leaue it vnto them of that kind.
But to descant a litle further vppon this playne and hasty ground: if I shal not trouble you to longe: haue you not heard that sometyme a man hath falue in company by channce with a woman, as it were vppon the frydaye, and hath beddid her vpon saterday, wedded her vppon Sunday, and al torepented himselfe vppon munday? if repentaunce in such be differd for 2. dayes, it is a maruayle, but if for a weeke, it is a greate wonder: such is the nature of hast, sone rype, sone rotten, sone hot, sone colde, sone done, sone repented, the wordes of auncient and wyse men are oftentimes heard among vs, but little regarded of any: they haue set downe this for a rule Quod semel faciendum, diu deliberā dū: whatsoeuer is but once to be done, and once done, neuer agayne to bee vndone, doth alwayes require greate deliberation, and long to be considered of before▪ but the Elephāt being a houge and brutish Beast without reason, doth [Page] better obay and follow this rule by nature, then we hauing reason can by oft and continual perswasions: for hee knowing by nature, that if once he chaunce to fall downe he must neuer loke to rise agayne, doth loke so narrowlye to his footīg, as he neuer setteth step without greate deliberation: when the naturall rest of sleepe coms vpon him, he gets him presētly vnto some tree, and therto leaning himselfe so taketh his rest. And is the fall of the Elephant greater to y e earth, then the fall of a man into a curst Xantippa, or into the handes of an egregious shrew? verily I thinke it cā not possibly be, is it not then needful for the man to looke with the Elephant, twise aboute him before hee leape: the wyse man sayth insipientis est dicere: &c it is a greate show and token of an vnwyse man, when you hear him say, if I had knowen this or if I had knowen that, for if rashiye he bec sped, it is the best wisedome quietly to whist himself. I remember a familiar example of a very wyse and playne man in the countrey, [Page 18] who for his patience in bearinge that Kynd of affliction, hath bene kept a long tyme in remembraunce: hee and hys wyfe keeping continuallye so close togeather, as sometyme fast tyde togeather by the eares: vnderstandinge the place and tyme appoynted, where such a famous and learned ma [...]ne shoulde preach, they agreed in due time louīgly to goe togeather arme in arme, and cheeke by checke, pressing so in that louing maner as nere to the Preacher as possibly they coulde. And after a whyle the Preacher entringe into greate discourse of many matters, seruing fit for his text, among diuers other thinges fell into speach how Christ beare hys crosse, and after many learned and godly exortatiōs opened therin, he remembred the sayinge in the scripture: Who soeuer wil bee my seruant, must take vp his crosse and follow me: at which words this honest man hauing his wife arme in arme, as though sharply prickt with a sodayne motion, sayd immediatlye vpon a sodayne vnto the Preacher: [Page] Syr, that will I with all my harte, and thervpon presently hosting vp his wyfe vppon his shoulders as well as he coulde, with al speede began to depart, but the preacher and the rest of the congregatiō, blamīg him as little for that his zealous and godlye mynde, as they greatly maruayled at that his strange & rare example, caused him to be staide and eased of hys heauy burden, and after this the preacher proceeding to hys purpose, and finishing his Sermon, he caused this honest man and his wyfe to brought before him in the presence of y e whole congregation, and knowing him by report to be a very wyse mā, demaū ded openlye of him the cause of this sodayne motion: he boldly and openly answeared him. Why syr was it not your saying, that he that wil be the seruante of God, must do as christ did, in takinge vp his crosse & following him, and that our crosse that we most beare, is y e trobles and afflictions of this worlde: the preacher answeared him it was true, & so was the saying of the scripture, then [Page 19] sayd the honest man, if this bee true I hope I haue not offended, if I wil be a seruant vnto God, I must needes cary some crosse, and troubles of this world for I haue hard, that Nullus sanctorū coronatus sine flagello vel certamine, and for my part I haue no other crosse, nor trouble in this world but only this my deare wyfe, who is as diuilish a dame, as curst a shrew, as madd a makin as euer puld man by bearde, and if you haue any other crosse to tell mee of then her, which I must beare, I hope God wil pardon mee, and so must you, for I know I shal not be able to liue to endure y e burthē ▪ I liue (God knowes) full hardly and wearely with this. The preacher sayd vnto him: honestman I know you are counted wise, I find it is for your honest and good behauiour y e you be so wel estemed of, and not for any gret knowledge or vnderstāding which I thnyke you will clayme vnto your selfe: it semeth you haue better vnderstanding in your husbandry, in your occupation, or in some other handcrafte, [Page] whatsoeuer it is, then you haue in the knowledge of any Diuine reasons, but liuing honestly and wel (as appears by your good report) and being so willing and diligent to geue eare vnto your teacher, in that I know euery man cannot be a cunninge clarke (for then manye a theefe should escape the [...]allous) I do fynde the lesse cause to blame you, but rather I am to instruct you according to the truth, which is my office & to bestow my tyme in teaching the ignorant people. Therfore you must vnderstand that to beare the crosse and troubles of this world, it is not to beare them vpō your shoulders, but you must beare thē that is, you must indure them, and take them with a quiet and patient mynde, & as a punishment sente from God, for your sumes. then sayde the honest man vnto him againe. Sir, I confesse my ignorance, and do wish that I hadde more knowledge, as for your counsaile I wil willingly fellow as nere I can, my comming was to the same purpose: but whereas you say, I must not take nor [Page 20] beare, the worldlye afflictions vpon my shoulders, but indure them w t a patient mynde, I say that if you had my wife, or such an other but for one yeare, you should fynd, you must not onely indure with a patient mynd, but you should also haue ynough to doe, to beare of both with head, shoulders, back, & legges, and euery other part of your body: therfore, sir, you speake well, and lyke one of great learning but of litle experiēce, and God forbid that you should haue y e like experience herein as I haue foūd, and perhappes many other. The preacher makinge hast to bee gone, and leauinge anye further at that tyme to exhort hym, sayde, at his departure: honest man (as it seemeth) you are wonderfully incumbred with a merualous curst and diuilish shrewe, farr worse as appereth most true, then the common sorte of shrewes, for they bee all tollerable ynough, and by this your report which beareth indeed some credit, beīg so honest a man, I must needs say, this [Page] wyfe of yours is intollerable, therfore you may do well for your more quiet, & better ease, to seke some lawful sepetation betwixte you, and that is the beste counsayle that I, or any man els in this case canne geue you: for thoughe I haue no experyence, yet by reason I fynd there is no stryuinge with a diuilish dame. I hope there bee not manye such in the worlde, and so I leaue you.
Then sayde the other agayne, for all your good counsayie hetherto I hartely thanke you. But now whereas at y e wynding vp, you seme to geue me coū sayle to leaue my deare wyfe. Which is onely the crosse I haue in this worlde, wherby I must goe in y e world to come to lyfe euerlasting. I thinke your doctrine therin not to my best commodity, and then taking his wyfe by the hande, sayd vnto her, come wyfe, lette vs goe home togeather agayne, as louingly as wee came forth: and since I haue now learned that thou art the only mean to bringe mee to heauen. I will now cherish thee more then euer I did before. [Page 21] but I hope I shall not neede: for if I do by chaunce sometyme forget you, I hope you wil not forget your selfe, and now because you fynd that I haue some greater care of you, then heretofore I would be loth you should now seeke, by pensiuenes to shorten your owne lyfe, for then I may be thought to kill you w t kyndnes. In this order during his lyfe did this wyse manne content himselfe, with hys vnaduised and hasty choyse.
More hast then good speede is neuer to be liked, soft fyre maketh sweete malt, but to take hast after another sēce, they say a hasty man maketh a hasty womā, a gentle and soft manne doth alwayes make a soft and gentle woman: the hasty man in rebuking his wyfe openlye. resembles him that spyts into y e winde and receyues it agayne vppon his face: but perhappes you wil say that none be of that m [...]nd but women: yes truely it is the mynd of many wyse men: for exā ple sake, loke wher you can fynd a wise man, that to the sight of the world, and in very deede will not allowe his wyse [Page] to be mayster when she list, and then on the other syde, looke where you can find a foole whose wife will not tremble to speake, and be affrayd to loke asyde of any man in y e presence of him. The wise scholmayster sayth, it is neuer meete to keepe that child in to much awe & feare which by nature is so gentle & tractable as the mild [...]es of his face, doth alwaies confesse his fault, and euen so sayth the wyse man of the woman, that shee yeelding alwayes y e man to be her head, and by nature commonly subiecting herself willinglye vnto hym, it were a greate fault to keepe her also in continual subiection, and therfore amonge wyse men it is alwayes taken for a rule, the humble must euer be exalted: among the other sort they must be contented to bee alwayes oppred, and troden downe, yet sometyme wee see the most harebraynd of all is surely yokt, and stept with the Goose from creepinge through euerye hedge, or scarce to goe out of anye narrow dore.
But looke which way wee will, eyther one waye or other, to what sence soeuer this woorde Hast is best & most fittest to bee wres [...]ed (vnlesse that it be a hasty pudding.) I cannot possiblye ymagine or thinke whiche waye, or by what meanes it canne well bee allowed of.
Wee dayly see by commō experince hasty men neuer wante woe, and what thing soeuer is done with ouer much hast, is commonly repented by leasure.
Therefore Syr, I will not at this tyme fall sodaynlye into the depth of my desyre here at thys tyme with you, for pleasures sake onely: since it is the first tyme of our meeting togeather, by your patience we wil walke a little togeather by the waye: and sith that time doth serue vs both so well, I would bee gladde to craue your short opinion herein. I haue harde it a question. (beynge dyuers tymes▪ my selfe in companye) whether it is better to bee ydle, or to be ill occupyed.
Student.
Friend ydlenes, not vnlyke but you haue bene in companye where this and many other lyke friuolous questions haue commonlye bene canuased to and froe, and nothing at all vnfit for your education. But if I should take vpō me to answeare this your question, and yeeld a reason of some betternes in the one of your propositions, I hadd neede to pul some logition by the sleeue, as you haue done mee, and craue his aduyce, as yon intende to do myne: for as I take it in this your question is included an equiuocall and doubtfull sence, which requireth the artificial tooles of Logicke, to make it smooth and playne as wel to the eare as to the eye, and I meane not at this tyme to wade to far, and so wantonly with you, I will take your wordes as the lye: and as by common attendment they are to bee taken, and so shall you briefly heare myne opinion according to your desire: you are not to learne, that one question may be answered by puttīg forth an other: therfore [Page 23] my frend, admit a mā should bring you two crowes, and demaunde of you whether is the whiter, beyng both (as commonly they be) as blacke as a cole: were it possible your skyll could reach so far to yeelde a reason the one to bee whiter thē the other? if I knew you were a logitian, I woulde not doubte but you might do som thing w t your cūning fallatiōs: but beyng as you are, you must be contente to take onely your mother wit, and leaue that skilfull art, and by your natural reason you shall hardlye proue blacke to be whyte, or naught to be good. Therfore your question being this, whether it is better to be ydle, or ill occupyed, I may answeare you briefly, nether barrel better herring: wher you would haue one thinge better then another, you must first allow the one of them to be good: for better is a degree of comparison from good, and neither of these do good. How then can I iudge which of them is better:
Idlenes.
If I may be bolde to interupt your [Page] talke, how would you behaue your self if this question were demaunded, of you in the presence of such who haue no artificiall skyll in reasoning at all, as if you were amonge a number of women woulde you not swarue a whitt from art, and fal to some vayne and ydle reasones you knowe full well that they are neuer brought vp eyther in Logicke or Rethoricke.
Therefore amonge them, eyther you must talke according to their vnderstā dinge, or els continuallye bee scilente, which would argue much ignoraunce, or rather great dulnes in you.
Student.
If I were in companye of neuer so many, I confesse I could haue very little to say, I do but I shoulde be as the Oule amōg a number of birdes, rather amazed to heare theire continuall chirping, then any waye able to answeare such kynd of questions.
Idlenes.
Why sir, and would you also lye as the Oule doth, vppon your backe, and crye too witt, too woo? I woulde wish you rather to lye grouelyng vpon your belly to hyde yonr bashful face.
Student
Nay frend iniurye, I am no crooked byld byrde, I mynd not so to crye, neyther to fall forward nor backward, the place should be very flippery if I kept not my footing, and besides, I woulde not grratly sticke to endeuor my selfe to yeeld the best reasons I coulde to feede theire phantasies, but I am not yet among them, we may talke therof at leasure: I am now onely in y e cōpany of an idle pack, & haue graūted to debate som matters w t you, according to our 2 fantasies at this tyme alone. And therfore now to proceede towards the end of my answer vnto your headles question, I must put you in mynd of a sentence out of Tully, for beyng as I haue sayd, that your question is of two euils, we must proue which is the least, and not y e best, for saith he, duorū malorū minimū ma lum est elegendum. [Page] of two euilles the least is alwayes to be chosen.
Idlenes
Once agayne you must pardon me, I must be bold to interrupt you. You say it is the sayinge of a wise man, that of two or many euils the least is alwayes to be chosen: surelye that your speech doth fall out verye well at this tyme to serue my turne: for euen now am I toward a wyfe, and I haue stood in great doubt a long tyme with my selfe, whether were better to chose a bigge bounser, or a litle lowbithgroūd: but by this your speech I fynde now the ende of my doubte. Nowe surely I wil seeke out the least woman that possiblye may bee founde in a cuntrey: and if I may fynde such a one as may serue my turne, and yet skāt able to reach vp to my midle, I wil thinke I haue found the most pretious iewell in the world: for of two euils you say the least is alwayes to bee chosen.
Student.
Why frend Nimblechaps me thinks you seeme rather ready to play with y e shadowe of euery thing then wi [...]ling to vnderstand the substantiall matter in any thing: can you rightly gather vpon my speech that a woman is euill? if you do well vnderstande mee, you shal finde nothing lesse, but rather that shee is for the most parte one of the greatest good thinges in this world, and most necessary of any thing els besydes.
Idlenes.
Syr in what I spake of a woman I bilt no part of my speech vpon yours I bilt only vpon my owne ground, your speech was but an introduction vnto me: but if it be as you say in your countrey (as for all countryes I am sure, you haue not trauailed) then do your countrey and myne greatlye differ: for where you say, she is one of the greatest [Page] goods in the worlde, there is this olde saying with vs. Femina rara bona, sed si bona digna corona, a woman is sosildome and so rarely good, that when she is good indeede, she is worthy to wear a crowne of gold: and besides, wher you say, she is most necessary of any earthly thing▪ that sowndes something like one way to bee true: for wee haue an other old saying with vs, that drawes verye neere vnto that purpose, which is this that fire, water, and a woman be three of the most necessary euils in world. with many other lyke olde sayinges, which were to long to bring in questiō.
Student
If al your many, other lyke old, and dūstical sayings be like vnto these two, none of them all would bee worthye the repeting, for of these the one is meerlye false, the other not rightly vnderstoode: for wheras you say, that fire, water, & a woman, be three necessary euils: that is cleane contrary, for they be three of the necessary goods in this world, for y e preseruing and keepinge of mans lyfe, [Page 26] and besides by common reason it is a thinge very vnceasable, that any euill thing can bee necessarye, it is rather a thing to be thought necessary, that ther were no euill at all: but in way of reasoning some wil say, that good beares not his name but in respect of euil, and how should good be knowē if euil were not, and that one cōtrary doth alwayes set forth and shew an other, & therefore necessary with manyother stronger reasons then here can bee made, yet they shal be but arguments of deceit, for as black is a colour of it selfe w tout white & white w tout bearinge seueral names for knowledge of the one from y e other, euen so is good a vertue of it selfe without euil, and euil a vyce of it selfe without good. Therfore I haue sayd no euil can any way be necessary and now since a woman by your confessiō is necessary how wil your rusty sentenses make her to be an euil? my friende, you may see howe your olde fayinges (a number of them, by cōtinuance of time be so greatly corrupted, as most of thē, (bearing a [Page] show of truth, in that they be olde) are very false. And nowe as to your other sentence, Fem. rar. bon. sed si bon. dig. coron. your interpretation herein is cleane contrary to the true meaninge. For rightly it is thus to be vnderstood A womā is a rare good (that is to say) so rare a good thing, as the like is hardly, or not at al to be found againe in this world, but if good, worthy of a crown of Gold: that is thus to be vnderstoode on the other side, that (since in euerye kynd there be alwayes some which bee euil) if the woman bee good (shee is so necessary) she is thē most worthy to be had in greate estimatiō before all other earthly thinges, and therfore it is sayde shee is worthy to be crowned, and now my thinks tyme growes away very fast I hope we neede not continue any longer in these your slippes, and wanton bywayes leading cleane from our purpose, you may finde how rashlye you haue bene ready to conceaue amisse: & therfore now once agayne to enter into [Page 27] your question if you will suffer mee to proceed: as I haue sayd of two euilles the least is to be chosen, and now which is the least euill, to bee ydle or to be yll occupyed, that must bee our question: & for this tyme I thynk myne opiniō wil draw very neere vnto your good liking: For in my conceypt of the twayne, to be ydle is the least euil, and yet I must agree, that ydlenes is the mother of all mischiefe, the roote of all sinne the hādmayd of the deuil, and the deuils stael, as the oule is for the byrder vnder his lyme bush or hydden nett. But to way according vnto common reason so long as a man is ydle hys mynd is occupyed about nothing of effect, eyther good or bad, and during that tyme in quality he very much resembleth the Jacke daw, whose nature is beyng the most vnhappy and ydle headed byrde that flyes, continuallye to plucke strawes from some thatcht house or other, snapping at euery flie which comes in his way, or ramming of euery litle cranny he fyndes w t some baggagely stuffe. For when shall [Page] you see the ydle man: but eyther he is doyng his neighbour, or next stander by some petty mischiefe, catching at flies, playing with strawes vnder his feete, champing them with his teeth, or els busied about some other like ydle occupations: beyng ydle the mynd alwayes runneth wildly about after euery rowling glint of the eye, and beinge well markt, it makes the man appeare as if he were mad, and beyng long continued oft tymes it bringes him to madnes indeede, for then he is a ready host and sit receptacle to entertayne all wicked imaginations, & hath stable romth plenty for the deuil, & as many hors [...]s as he wil bring, and whether you think y e deuil daunsing vppon horsbacke within a man wil make him mad or no, I leaue it to your iudgement: we may learne by a familiar example of a simile: daylye in experience among vs, that greate incō ueniēce doth come by ydlenes For loke vnto those places where greate infections of plagues and other lyke diseases do raygne: haue you not continuallye there the aduyce of wyse & learned phisitions, [Page 28] in any case neuer to goe abroad w t an empty & ydle stomacke (lest infectiō fynding it empty coms in & take his place filling it ful of filthy corruption, & therby bryngeth your body soner to decay: they wish vnto euery man a thinge most easy alwayes ready to bee hadd) a cup of ale & a tost in a morninge, which hath euer bene thought very holesome, & good to kepe the stomacke occupied, though continuall tipling ale knightes in places of misrule do greatly sometimes abuse it: yet of it self being moderatly takē it is neuertheles to be allowed, & it is worthy of cōmendation, as appeareth by this old verse following: sanat, confortat, exhilarat nobilis ala, & dat iucundū, nappalis ala viruū. Thus you may s [...] to kepe your body in perfect health, it is y e most necessary thinge y e is required at your handes, to kepe it still from emptines: & euen so is it w t your mynd, if you wil kepe it in good order, admit as seldom as yon cā y e cōpany of ydlenes: for beynge ydle you are like a man y t knoweth a number of mad men [Page] to stand in a place with naked swordes in their handes and yet venters s [...]arke naked among them and so is killed: and woulde you not iudge this wilfull man guilty of his owne death? surely hee is, and although hee cannot liue agayne to this worlde to receaue worldly punishmēt, for that his so haynous offence, yet in hell hee is sure to hange, which is a place of punishment euerlasting for all such like obstinate, desperate, and wicked offenders and euen so is it with you when you are ydle, for then you hazard your selfe thus far, you know full well that beyng ydle if the deuil be not with you presently, he wil not long [...]ary frō you: and then if obstinatly you will still continue in ydlenes, and make him away to creepe further and further, into your heade, and so at length to possesse your whole bodye, are not you then as guilty of your owne death as he which kylles hymselfe? if you continue so lōg in ydlenes, til the deuil (creping so closly as you can neuer perceaue him) begins [Page 29] to dip in his foot, then surely you are almost past remedye: but you may sometyme perchaunce bee ydle, and [...]et presently fall to some exercise agayne, and then it wil be the lesse hurtful vnto you, so long as no vice hath taken possession: and now by this means, since ydlenes is but a possibility to drawe a man to wicked sin: and the other, which is to be ill occupyed, is a sinne in act already committed, thoughe (as I haue sayd) they be both so naught as neuer to be [...] allowed: yet of the two in myne opini [...] ydlenes is the lesse euil.
Idlenes
Now truly syr, my goodwil stande [...] vppon thornes, till it hath yeelded d [...] thanks according to your deserued ourtesye, and were it not for the common proue [...] be which daily is had in remembraunce, that tomuch of anye thinge is starke naught, I would doubtles s [...]ēd some tyme wherein it should app are, I shoulde not bee myndful of this your [Page] frēdly coūsayle: but knowing your hast vnto other affayres, least I should kepe you to long, I will brieflye proceed according to the first cause of my commīg vnto you: and therefore now sir, this is y e other matter, wherin I am to craue your aduise.
The liuely and cunninge workmanship in the forme and fauoure of a man, so far passeth, and excelleth all carthlye and artificiall skill, as it is not meete to be named in any spech of comparisō, with any earthly or worldly thing: and therfore here I dare but faintly speake therof: yet for experience and learning sake, let me be bould here at this tyme to craue this one thing of you, to single out and chose secretlye vnto your selfe y e most amiable and well fauoured face that possibly may be seene, with the rarest and most cumly parsonage that by any meanes can be found, admitting y e workemanship of nature so perfectly set forth in hī, as not to be reprehēdable, so much as in one title touchīge his forme & beautye, and then (committinge your [Page 30] external cēses, w t the cumlines & beauty of his outward parsonage to scilēce) conuay y t secret insight of your profoūd iudgement into y e inward partes of the said cumly man, & if there after a while hauing made sufficient serch and view in euery corner, you fynd y t nature hath not so much as vouchsaft one dram of wit in his head, nor so much as on good qualitye in his mynd, I praye you then dissemble not your conceipt in him, but tel me playnly how you woulde esteme of the man.
Student
Your request is verye reasonable, though somthing hard, yet not so hard as necessary to be vnderstood: I acompt it hard because (though nature beareth y e name) God is the cheefest workman, of this most cunning and skilful peece of worke, which here you haue described. Therfore if sodainly I should geue any rash iudgemēt therin, my such vnaduysed answer would procure y e lesse credit vnto my speech. But to satisfy your request, my opinion is this: Admittinge [Page] him to be according to your description wel fauored and cumly of personage, if therwith he hath neyther wit, nor anye one commendable or skilful quality besydes, yet you ought not any thinge at all to despyse him: for though he differs perhaps greatly from you in beauty & fauour, and somethinge in comlines of shape (wherin he far excelleth you) and you perhaps differ lykewyse from him as greatl [...] in witt with many skilful & cunning qualityes of the mynd, wherein on the other side you do as farre passe and goe beyond him. [...]et in truth you be both made of one mould, and he that gaue vnto hym that comely parsonage & shape of man could as wel haue geuē him the vnseemliest shape, and forme of the most vgliest beast in the worlde, frō whō also your great giftes of wisdome and vnderstanding, doth likewyse procede, whom as wel he could haue made a very natural foole. and therfore to be short, though shauing entred according to your request into the boweiles, and inward partes of this man) I do plainly [Page 31] se that wisedome & those qualities to be wantige in hym, which do flow in you, and that goodly and cumlye parsonage which is in hym, to be lykewyse wanting in you: yet I can no way see any great difference of estimation which rightly and lawfully cā be had or made betweene you: he is as p [...]rfite a man in euery part ether outwardly or inwardly▪ to serue that intent and purpose, for the which he was made as you, and you as hee.
Idlenes.
Sir (not in maner as reprehending you, but with most harty thankes) you haue troubled your self further then my intent was in this motion at the first to haue troubled you, & done more then I durst desire you: my meaning was not to haue craued your iudgemēt and opinion in the dutiful & equal estimation, which euerye man ought to beare one [Page] toward an other, in that wee be al brothers, and as children of one father: but according to the common course of the world (which is, as forreiners & straungers, euerye man to pull out his nexte neighbours throat, for the gayninge to himselfe a halfepenny) how here would you iudge he should be estemed.
Student.
As for my trouble it hath not bene greate, for your thankes I do as litle looke, and your mynde I do very well now vnderstand, and as for myne opinion in him accordig to the cōmon course of the world, it may so fal out, that you & I therin shal mecte both in one mind, for the way is so playne as a blynd man almost may easily keepe y e path I think hee shall bee taken and reputed in this worlde as a gaye and goodlye paynted sheath made at the fyrst for some choyse & special good mettalled kniues which now (by misfortune beyng lost, or rashly cast awaye) is [...]amde full of dyrtye [Page 32] drosse, and rotten stickes: or otherwyse as a braue and lofty house, erected perhappes at the first, and mayntayned longe by some famous, wyse, and noble Prelates, and now inhabited, by a most infamous, ignoraunte, and base packe of spendalles. Who certainly be perswaded (bearyng so goodly a house vppon there heads, thoughe they haue litle witte therin besydes: and commō ly as litle money in their purses) that they bee all in such generall and great estimation: as they iudge y e very birds of the ayre, which by chaunce light vpō their houses, comes of purpose to yeeld them honor.
Wheras of truth, if some liberall sparing wyse mē were in their roumthes, and by chaunce commttinge some such wanton and prodigall ouersight, they would rather think to themselues, that those byrdes came for to accuse them of their vayne and prodigall folly. But contrary to their such most ignoraunte and blynde perswations, the Worlde, [Page] doth altogether disalow and condemne them t [...]ough perhaps nere vnto theire such statelye and gallante seats, many knauish dissembling & slattering marchauntes, wil subtelye geue them many a cap and legge, more for there meat and drinkes sake, then eyther for loue or feare, which the prodigall man doth sy [...]dome see or vnderstand, nor yet doth remember the old prouerbe, no craft to the clouted shoo, which (but by [...] graue wyse, pollityke, and liberall sparinge mē) neuer was nor euer shal be kept in any good or peaceable order, where one blynde man leadeth an other, they both [...] commōly into some dyke, wher two or many fooles be, and one of them appoynted to ouersee an other. They neuer seaue scratching or byting. Wher among many ignorants that haue smal vnderstāding, as litle wit, & lesse knowl [...]dge in any thinge at all, one of them notwithstanding doth alwaies guide, & teach an other, how can they finde, or if as [...]lynd men by chaunce they stumble vppon and finde, how can they keepe y e [Page 33] right & playn way, vnto what place soeuer they seeke: what ioy would therbe (thinke you) among the pore britching boyes, and grammer schole children, if it might be lawfull for one of them to gouerne and teach an other, how ioyful would they be if they might haue more maysters then one or two, or halfe a dosen: for then many a waghalter would be in good hope, that when one of his maysters for some offence should goe aboute to britch him, some of the others perhappes for affections sake wil laboure as fast to saue him, wherof beynge deuided, they may fall into some iarre among them selues, and thereby the vnhappy wagg may happily escape a scowring. Truly to be short, I think in euerye thinge, one ignoraunte must needes leade an other ignorantlye, one blynd man doth leade an other blyndly, one foole an other foolishly: pa [...]ke and put to geather many crafty and subtill men, ther shall be nothing but deuising continually to wrangle, and one to deceaue an other: knitt likewyse to togeather [Page] a knotte of knaues, you shall see nothing but cosenage, quarellig, brawling and fighting. Perhaps you wil say to me, then ioyne wyse men togeather, and they no doubt must nedes very wel agree: but the corruption of this world is such, as I fynd by experiēce (though it be agaynst reason, in that wisdome is so sure and perfect a guide vnto them) that they wil oftentymes, and greatly iarre. But where you wil haue y e wisdome and pollecy of man to beare anye sway, place him not to gouerne and cō maund his equals, and much lesse his superiours. But whom is hee to commaund and rule? let him bee in place of auctority aboue them, and then eyther for feare or loue they wil obay him.
Admit the chiefe captayne in a fielde of equal countenaunce, auctority, and rule with manye of his Souldiers, thinke you that they would lēg agree. I think rather that the whole campe by theire continual disagrementes, that I am in as greate auctoritye as thou: and I as thou▪ would very easily and soone be ouerthrowen [Page 34] and therfore according to wisedome and pollicy, one cheefe & head schole mayster in euery schole, doth alwaies and only bear the greatest sway, though somtime he hath diuers vshers vnder hym: one chief gouerner and ruler in euery field (thoughe with many vnder captaines and petty leaders) and not without great counsayl of wyse and experte men, doth alwayes beare the sword of rule, and euen so in euery like.
But wher you would haue y e blinde man wel ledd, let his leader be of perfite and sound sight, wher you wil haue the crafty dissemblinge, and subtill man the simple fooles, the veryest knaues, y e common clowted shooes, and all other sortes what so euer, kept in their dutyfull due, and cumlye good order, I woulde not haue you couple togeather like to like, though the olde sayynge may bee hadde in remembraunce. Simile amat simile, for it is most commonly proued to be true, that man oftē tymes loueth that, which commonly doth him most harme.
But commit them vnder the gouernment and rod of the most grauest, wyse, and pollitick vsshers that possi [...]ly may be [...]ound. Wherby the more likely you shall keepe them in awe: and thus my friend to finish my answeare vnto your question, as hear you may perceaue, y e great wisedome and graue gouernmēt is not onely needfull and requisite, but very necessary for the mayntenaunce of euery godlye & gorgious house, and as well for the gouernment of a common welth, and that no man (haue he neuer so gallant or braue a seate) is esteemed in this world and common wealth worthy of rule, honor, and dignity, vnlesse hys wysedome and pollicy in good gouernment be agr [...]eable therunto, euen so is it with your welfauored and parsonable man, which accordinge to your discription wanteth both witte and all good quantyes.
Idlenes.
Sir you haue not now only resolued [Page 35] me of my question but you haue entred (according to your saying y t we shoulde both meete in a mynde) into the verye same path wherein [...] my self had determined to walke before a turn or two: for though my question was of a most welfauored and strayght [...]de man, yet y e cause therof was this owtward gorgious, & inwarde naked house, which you haue here de [...]cribed, wherof intending to vse some speach vppon a sentente of y e most famous and learned [...]ratour M. T Cicero I thought good to be boulde first to creepe (by the sayd simile of the man) into some part of your iudgemēt therin: wherin now with moste hartye thankes you haue verye wel serued my turne
Student.
If I haue any way pleasured you, I am very glad but whereas it seemeth by your wordes, your intent was to vse some speach, let not anye thinge that I haue sayde, hinder or stay your proceeding [Page] for if it be well or any thinge tollerable I wil allow therof: if otherwyse I wil wish it amended.
Idlenes,
Sir nothing doubting of your friendly acceptaūce and good counsayle: this is the sentence whereupon I first grounded my purpose and intente.
Non domo dominus, sed domino domus honoranda est.
Idlenes
Student.
Idlenes,
Student.
Idlenes
SIr, you haue nowe bound me by dutye to gieue you most hartye thankes that thus friēdly you haue bene contente (for this short time) to banish your selfe frō your so earnest, graue, and profound studye, to accompany me with your friendly conceipt in th [...]se my dayne and ydle inuentions. And therfore now lest I should so long here at this tyme keepe you walkinge [Page 41] with mee in this my path of vanity, as hereafter when wee shall haue like occation to trouble you in crauinge your cōpany agayne, you shall be vnwilling to graunte the spendinge of any time (which is y e most precious [...]ewell in the whole world) with such an endles busye, and ydle runninge brayne: I leaue heare at this tyme to trouble you any further, commending you vnto God, & to your seate and chayre of studye from whence you came.
Student
Friend Idlenes, though perhaps I am not so curious or coy in spending of my tyme for good felowship and company sake, as you suppose and think me to be: yet I may not any waye blame you, but rather do very well allow of this your such ready conceipte, & reasonable speech, wherin you seeme not only vnwilling greatly to assure or intise me vnto any folly: But also as loth, long to hould or kepe mee in anye path [Page] of ydlenes or vanity. For true it is, that notwithstāding most willingly hetherto, I haue concented to bestowe both tyme and speech accordinge to your request: yet as true it is, I would be very loth to consume or spende any longe tyme in such friuolous and vayne deuises. Thoughe for the companye of my frend I can somtyme be cōtent to wade w t him in some smoth, cleare & shallow flash of folly: yet I confesse I would be very loth to aduenture so far with him as to swim in any rongh, darke, or bottomles pit or puddle of wicked & fylthe vice. I would bee loth with a kinge to drowne in follye, though with my meanest frend (as I haue sayd) I can bee content to wade therein: willinglye I would not (if I could otherwyse chuse) goe to farre in any thing. But bearing alwayes in mynde the warninge of a wyse manne to leaue the Racke, and Maunger, and to take a snatch and awaye, with small hyndraunce vnto any of my wayghty affayres. I can at anye [Page 42] tyme in anye honest and cumlye toye of delighte or pleasure, recreate my selfe and accompany my frend.
But now as seemes vnto mee, perhappes you haue an ydle and wanton turne or two secretly to walke by your selfe, wherein you would not haue mee willingly behold your gesture: & therefore cunningly crauinge the riddaunce of my companye (as though for feare of offence) you commēd me to my chayre, whereunto beyng verye well content to graunt you your such secrete, and cunning request, I am as willing to goe, and in likemanner as you commended me vnto God, I also in the same friendly manner, commend you not vnto him but to your owne inuention. Wishinge you to remember your owne counsayle now in your selfe, & not to walke to long in any your pathes of vanity. Yet I doubte verye much (friende Idlenes) to disswade you frō vanity, for it wil most certaynly perswade a great number to accuse mee of vayne follye, [Page] and perhaps I may so deeply incurre [...] displeasure of so many as durynge lyfe euer after, (turne which way I will) the blame of my such folly▪ shall stil continually be blowen in my face: for setting curiosity asyde, to be playne, when your thicke, and bushye bee [...]l [...] heade (in shape much like to a hedge hogge halfe vnclosing himselfe, and shewinge his bare and naked face) lieth rowled vnder an aperne, and tumbling in your sweete harts and wantōs la [...], busying the wabling belclarppe of your so vayn and ydle body, so greatlye to her good lyking and pleasure euery wa [...], as shee seemeth not onely loth to leaue your company, but rather longing stil to cō tinue her such pastyme, in playing with the soft and gentle prickes of that your rowlinge and ydle pate, and sometyme perhaps at your oft request and flattering intisement: yeelding w t her smoth and tender lips to honor your hard and bruselled mouth. If then (this merry gale of wynde, this sturring betwixte you, cuppling your ships to gether, and [Page 43] sayling outward in your voiage of delighte) you bluntly by chaunce shoulde boulte cute this my friendly perswasiō (though secretely vouchsafed vpō you) moning my speach the cause of your departure, vnto that your louing & wanton mouse, and in the middest of al your pleasure offer so to departe, then shall my secret, (though vndeserued) & pinching paynes begin, then shall I be so toste from tounge to tounge, frō mouth to mouth, from place to place, and so sharply and shrewishly shakē vp amōg so many, as doubtles it were a thousād tymes better for any man, in the like pitiful case a mong them (though not as a dogge) to be tost in a blanket: they will say, let olde grayberde keepe his counsayle to himselfe. We will craue at his hands, his graue aduise, whē we thinke good: because now by continuance of tyme, he is become frō a clarke to a parrish priest, could he now be cō tent to haue no clarkes at all? could hee now fynd in his hart to be reader, singer and belringer, and al in his parish [Page] alone, surelye it were not amisse if hee were wel applyed, and kept to his tackle but one moneth, and then no doubt wee shall see him come creeping lasisy home with weary limnies: and then yf any man wil offer to take a rope out of his hand, you shal see hee will be as ready & as willing to let it goe as euer he was in his life to take it vp: then shortly after, you shall heare he wil as openly publish it, to be a deede of charitye to helpe the weake and surcharged mā, as he hath alreadye secretly whispered in disalowing the wanton seruice of the stronge and youthful bodyes, and then will confesse that a helping hand is [...]euer to be blamed, & espetially in those thinges which must needes be done.
Therfore waying wel the vanity of his speech, let vs not so easilye parte, as to breake of all good company for a white hayre. Frend Idlenes I know this wil be their saying: & besydes this, I know you haue many hāgers on, very diligēt & daily studients, desirous to immitate you in this your ydle art, and to learne [Page 44] your cunning slayghtes in rockinge in Venus lappe, prickinge in, and picklyng out sometymes pinhes out of her pi [...]case, thrumming of apern strings & with many other ydle deuises: and ther fore friend iniury, since in disswadinge you accordinge to my former speech, I shal seeme toper swade many a thousād from that which they wil be verye loth to leaue, and in so vaynly wastinge my wynde shall appeare as much an ydle packe as the best, I recante my former perswasion, and thus do commend you only heare vnto your naturall, vayne, & ydle inuentions.
Idlenes.
Sir you seeme so gamesome & pleasaunt in this your reply vppon my late and friendly farewell, as I thinke you could be cōtent to remainestil w t me, bathing your selfe in this my lasye tub (as you terme it) and vessel of ydle vanity: therfore know this I am not so inclind vnto y t vice of ingratitude, I haue bene so [Page] vnciuisly or so vnmannerly brought vp▪ that when any man friendly vpon good wil, as though desyrous of my company, shal come vnto me, that then after [...] whyle eyther by secret speeches or cu [...] ning gestures, I wil seeme so weary of him, as rather desyrous of his rou [...]th then of himselfe, for truly it is nothing agreable eyther vnto my nature or to my bringing vp and much lesse, when I my selfe shall be first desirous of his company. But I must confesse you are blameles, though you did mistake me, for you cannot be so well acquaynted w t my nature and meanīg in any thing: as I am with the naturall disposition of you, and of all y e world besides. I agree well with you, if I were according to the common nature and disposition of men, beyng in company w t my friendes and familiars, I woulde sometymes wish, and perhappes willinglye c [...]aue rather their roumth then their company. For admitting I weee as other mē bee, and as you your self in your youthfull dayes heretofore haue bene: then [Page 45] perhaps and not vnlike but it might be with me as it hath bene with you & many others, that some famous learned, & skilfull Astronomer, hath latelye bene with me, and by his or her misticall and wonderfull straunge knowledge, hath geuen me certaynly to vnderstand, that such a tyme, day and hower, and in such a place there shal without fayle appear vnto me very secretly a glorious, braue and goodly blasing starre: and that the place where it shal appeare, must needs be free, and cleere of al company, otherwise it will shew it selfe but as a playne and common star, without any blasing or stemming at all. Perhappes I haue appoynted secretlye to see some tumbling cast, with some pleasant and mery slayghtes of iugling trickes, and to draw more nerer vnto natural & playne vnderstāding, not vnlike but I haue appoynted to kis some pretye wench in a corner: and now admittyng al this to be true (as in many men it is daily seene, would any of my friendes, or acquayntance blame me, to shew thē cunningly [Page] some colour of desire to craue for a time rather their roumth then their company, I thinke none. There is also an other kynd of people, which do likewise and very often cunningly craue the riddaunce of company, which be in y e English frase, the cormugions and couetous carles of this worlde, their natural disposition is, fyrst to scramble and scratch togeather if he cā a liuing equal with the best yeman, gentleman, or squyre in his countrey, then stryuing to shroude himselfe vnder some ragged & little cottage, to serue no further then onely for necessity, or if a large or fayre house, then keeping his dores continually shut as though neuer at home, contenting hymselse willinglye, and all his houshold perforce with a sparinge and pinching dyet, doth chiefly feede and altogeather delight himselfe w t the oft telling and cōtinual sight of his money, as young men commonly do themselues, in the sight of their louers. And now admit some young heads and merye companions knowing his abilitye & vnderstāding [Page 46] his miserable & beggerly mind husying their brayns cūningly to work him som slayghty, prety, & slipry trick, doe agree among thēselues vpon some high & festiual day, knowing y t thē perhaps he hath a peece of biefe, a calues [...]ad or an oxe foote in y e pot, & do apoint [...] meeting of many neighbours y e verye same tyme to dyne with him, bidden by a messenger in very good & due order, as though very sollomly biddē by him: then dinner time drawing nere, seruice beyng done, & euery man departinge to his house, this pore, miserable & wretched miser doth sit stil in his seate fearing greatly that if sodaynly he should thronge or presse out among the thickest, some or other would so cūingly minister such occation of talke with him, as eyther to shame him or els to inforce him home to dinner, but after a whyle looking oftentymes backward ouer his shoulder, and spying some stil remaynig behynd, not musing a litle at y e meanig therof, at lēgth rise th vp, & pulling his cap in his eyes, passeth away by thē [Page] sneaking, as though he had nothinge to say or meddle with any of them all: but then euerye man rysinge vp▪ with him, greatly to his admiratiō, and honoring him with cap and legge, accepting that hys gesture as a stately and graue behauiour in him. Some of them acco [...] pany him check by cheek with friend [...]y commendation, and great thankes for his vnwonted and friendly curtesy: and the rest following after hard vppon his heeles, playnly to his sight intendinge to accompany him home to dynner, as they thinke like bidden and welcome guestes, but as he thinkes like mallape [...]t impudent, and sausy marchaunts: if now it were possible to beholde euen at this instant, with our outward eyes, the strange thoughts and ymaginatiōs of this pore, distressed, and miserable miser. I think the meriest company of stage players, that might be founde in a coūtrey, would hardly make more sport then he him selfe would do alone: for to see how glummishly hee glyeth aside, like a bere at a s [...]ake, and how manye [Page 47] stoppes and turnes he makes before he comes home, and how priuily he bāneth them, wishing the Deuill and his dam to choke them all, the sight thereof no doubt, if it were possible one horse face might laugh at an other, woulde make any horse in the world to break his halter, I can but wish that I hadde eyther Apelles or Zeuxes skil, in the science of paynting and that I could as perfectly paynt him, with his countenaunce according to my imagination, as Zeuxes paynted his grapes, or as Apelles his sheete, which were so cunninglye done on both partes, as euer since to bee had in great estimation, but neuer to bee paternd: the one of them Zeuxes, (as our bookes do report) amonge many other of his notable workes, paynted (as before named) a naked boy with a būch of grapes as though growing vpon his shoulders, which were so perfite to the outward sight, as the very byrdes of the ayre, came and lited vppon the boyes shoulder & continually picked vpon the grapes, and though they found no sa [...]: [Page] yet as appeared by their oft resort, they could not be perswaded, but y e grapes they must needes bee, and in that they could neuer pick out any iuice, they seemed rather to impute it to y e bluntnes of the bylles, then to the drynesse of the grapes: for they went continually to a stone which was fast by, and alwayes whet their bylles and so still continued their resort vntil it was taken awaye. The other paynter Apelles hearing of this excellent peece of worke, destred Zeuxes that a day might be appoynted of meetinge betwixte them two before some gentlemen of their friendes & acquaintāce, and to passe away somtyme, and to delight the sight of their friends desyred him to bringe of his workes, what he thought good, & that he would do the like, wherunto Zeuxes agreyng at y e day appoynted among many other wonderful, straūge, and notable works he brought this naked boy w t y e grapes vppon his shoulders, Apelles amonge diuers other lyke wyse very cuning and skilful works, brought a table couered [Page 4] with a white sheete, & then in viewing euery man the others workes, Apelle greatly commended y e perfit colour and forme of the grapes, & nothing disalowing of al the rest: & then Zeuxes cōmendinge likewise (no otherwyse then iust cause doth require) the per [...]it workmā ship in each point of Apelles, desired after all y t he would take away the white sheete which couered his table, for hee would be glad if he might to see all, thē Apelles smiling to hymself sayd, friend Zeuxes, since you are so desirous, I wil not be so ingrateful as to deny you: yet my meanīg was whē I first brought it not euer to vncouer it, because I founde some fault with my selfe therin, & therfore was the more loth to show my fault vnto straungers: but since you haue don all this at my request, I wil not herein denye you yours: therfore euen at your pleasure goe and take it of your self, for I will bee loth to condempne my selfe, I hadd rather an other manne shoulde condempne me. Then saide Zeuxes, na friende Apelles, if so bee y t you doubte [Page] any discredite therby. I will not desire it for any money. But Apelles answearinge: I force not for the discredite among my frendes: take it of and spare not. Then Zeuxes drawing nere vnto it as one with chyld, til he had seene what was vnder, layd both his handes vppon it at both sides, catchinge to take holde of the sheete, and suddaynly finding it to be but a paynted colour and no sheete in truth turnde him aboute agayne, with great admiration, & sayd among thē al, that wheras Zeuxes had cūningly (as the world thought) deceiued the birds. Apelles hath here more cūningly deceiued Zeuxes, for where as in truth I thought to haue takē of a shete, I haue but scratchte at a paynted coloure of white: & thus with many other pleasant and prety conceiptes Apelles at y t time bare away the bell. And now if I had lyke skil vnto eyther of these, whether thinke you that my t [...]me spent in paynting of this man would be lost or no. But it is wel knowen (the more is the pitye for this man) I am neither Apelles [Page 49] nor Zeuxes, but playne ydlenes. And therfore nothinge meete to paynte him out so orderly as the natural shape and countenaunce of the manne doth require.
But leauing the pleasant show vnto the cunning paynter, & admitting this to be true (as I thinke it hath bene put in vse) could you or any man els blame this sylly miserable, & wretched muckemunger or the world to be rather desyrous of the roumth thē of the company of these secret inuited & bidden guestes: surely for my part I thinke you cannot but rather you must holde him excused.
Therfore syr, to conclude this my lōg and tedious speech perhaps vnto you. If I were (as I haue sayde before) agreeable with the common course and nature of men, you might wel haue gathered by my speech, that I was desyrous of your roumth and cleanlye ryddaunce. But myne estate & callinge is such, as no company, be it euer so great can impouerish me, or diminish or take [Page] away any delite from me at all. For the more cōpanye, the greater is my riches and delite if they wil contēt themselues with mee and any dyet: I am none of Shamfastes children, I blush not whosoeuer lookes vppon mee. And therfore thinke not that I did commend you vnto your study, because I was desirous (as you tooke it) to daunce a turne or two priuily or wantonly alone.
For since you seeme so willinge and contente with my company, with al my harte, I will make you partaker in all the reste of my causes, which at this tyme I intende to bringe in question, & besydes, rather then you shal thinke me (as you haue thought) weary of your company. If you wil accept of this my arte and symple skyll. I came and will afford you, for euery hower in the day, for euery day in the yere, and for euery yeare durynge your lyfe, seueral questions, with many pretye conceiptes at all tymes to busy and occupye your selfe withall: as presentlye shall appeare, yf you will vouchsafe vnto mee your [Page 50] friendly audience.
Student
Friend Idlenes, you say, and true it is, that you are acquaynted with y e nature and disposition of all estates, far better then I am, or euer shal be able to conceiue, and that by reason of your lōg experience and continual company with all men: then must I needes now think and certaynly perswade my selfe, that you are not now vnacquaynted, nor to learne the qualityes of a knaue. There is an old saying and oftentymes founde to be true. ni, fa, pa, con: admitte you were a teacher of the common people, or a scholemayster ouer manye children as no doubt somtime you are, beyng a great medler, and busye bodye in any thing, & dayly intruding your selfe into euery vocation, & calling from y e highest to the lowest whatsoeuer, as a most ydle & mery cōpanion: staring as boldlye vppon a Kinge as you doe vppon the meanest & playnest begger: if a man [Page] may aske you a questiō: how would you open vnto the common people, or howe would you teach your younge schollers to vnderstand the meaninge of these 4. wordes, ni, fa, pa, con.
Idlenes
Sir I am no more nice in aunswearing then I am in putting forth. But to tell you the truth (which I thinke you do already know) it pertaynes nothing at all vnto mee to be a teacher, though sometymes I confesse I am in company with manye wyse and learned men. for where I acompany most, there they learne and teach least: & litle or nothing tendinge to goodnes, is euerbrought in question, vnlesse it be at a verye greate chaunce: and then also am I fayne to depart as one whose companye is so little esteemed, as though nothing necessary at all, & yet the meaninge of this shorte sentence, me thinkes I shoulde easilye vnderstande, and the rather because I haue hard it oft. I think (to be short) it [Page 51] is as much to say: as, Nimia familiaritas parit contemptū. And by this may a scholler easily vnderstād the meaning and for the instruction of the common people, it is as much to say, as tomuch familiarity breedeth contempt.
Student.
Friend Idlenes I see you are not altogeather an ignoraunte, thoughe you confesse your selfe neuer to bee in company wher any godnes is taught: as it seemeth knowledge comes to you by inspiration, but wherof I know not: you haue hit the right way of play [...] instruction to a Scholler: but as to the common people, you haue left it as raw as you found it, though you haue spoken it in English, for the ignoraunt & commō people do as wel vnderstand English, for the most parte, as they vnderstande greeke: though somtime vnderstandīg nothing they verily thinke they vnderstand all: and vnderstanding as much as a block, they thinke the greatest doctor [Page] in the world can hardly amēd them, yet they will saye, is it not english? and am not I an English man? why then I pray you may not I vnderstād it? but it may be aunsweared, are ther not many English men ignorauntes? yes, why may not you then be an English ignorante, but there is an old prouerbe, ignorance is an enemy to knowlege, it is commonly seeme, an ignorant man wil alwaies fynd faults and dissalow of those things wherein hee hath no skill [...], and fyndes a fault where no fault is to be found, and especially when impudency is ioynd vnto his ignorance: for then he will profes him self [...] before eyther his prince or any wyse or learned counsaile, thinking his owne wit (when he is a very foole) to be best of al? but as y e old saying is: who is so bould as blynd bayarde? who thinks he knowes more then hee that knowes nothing at al: for the wise & learned wil say, hoc solum scio quod nihil scio. I only know this y t I know nothīg at al. And the foole sayth, what know not I? whereuppon the wise man sayth with [Page 52] the Phisition it is time for wise men to hold there peace, when euery foole will be a Phisition. And therfore my friend to make this plain English more plain as wel vnto you as to the common people: whereas you say, to much familiarity breedeth contempt: this is yet as I haue said hard lattine vnto y e cōmon people, for it is impossible euer to be to familiar w t a wise & honest mā, how therfore now can this sentence seemetrue in al, since it can not be sometyme to much it can not alwaies breed contempt: and therefore though the sentence of it selfe be true, yet to y e cōmō vnderstāding you haue opened it to darkly. y e plain english is this: to much familiarity bredeth cō tēpt, y t is, to be checkmate at any time, & haile fellowe to much w t a knaue or a foole, and no doubt hee wil take therby such impudēt courage, as after a while you shal fynde to bee most true, that he will not greatlye sticke in anye companye what soeuer, to spyt in your mouth when you passe the Streetes talkinge [Page] with your frend, he wil not be ashamed to come and colle you about the neck, if you chaunce in frendly manner to geue him but one friendlye worde, or merye looke, you shal not fayle of a thousande agayne, with many a counterfet wrong shapen & croked countenaunce if so curteously sometime by chaunce you entertayne him as to set him at your borde, you shall fynd him somtime in your lap when you would wish him further of: if at any tyme for your pleasures sake, you wil vouchsafe to talke with him in the presence of his betters. Afterwa [...]d perhappes when you shall be reasoning with your friend, hee wil be ready with his sausy toung to haue a choppe at euery word that shal proceed from your mouth, and thinks it a glory vnto him if he be a meane man, your inferiour a knaue or a foole, that he may so boldlye chop logicke with one that is so farre aboue him, and his better,
And what is the cōmon speach sometyme of the veriest knaue in a country? will not he say, (being alwayes in quarrell [Page 53] and continuall [...]ar with his neighbours, geuing them oft tymes his own name) the proudest [...]aue of you al shal offer mee no wronge, I can goe to my Lorde and to my [...]adye, and to the best gentleman in the shire early or late, to dinner or to supper, or at any tyme whē soeuer I Iust, I can speak as boldly vnto thē as I can vnto my fa [...]ltar friend & brother, when a thousand such drummedaries and playne knaues, as you be, must stand at y e dore, or if you chāce to come in, then with cap in hand, and many a low curtesie. And therfore you playne knaues of y e countrey: how da [...]e you abuse me (he might say) the capital and captayne knaue of the worlde: & how can the pore countrey mā answear him since oftentymes they fynd and see these his sayings to be true. They haue nothing u [...] the world to say, but when y e knaue is out of sight, then to whisper amonge themselues, and say, the more knaue y e better luck: it we could as cunningly play y e knaues, as he, we should eate sometyme veneson, and haue other [Page] good theere among the best, as wel as hee: but since our bringing vp hath not bene to beare cunninglye two faces in one hood: or like the subtill woulfe, to goe wrapt in a lambes skinne, or like a crafty and flatteryng knaue to keepe continuall company among gentlemen in auctoritye and rule, as though hee were the honest est man in the worlde: wee must content our selfe as many honest poore men do, to put vp, daylye iniurye and wronge at manye an arrant knaues hande. The crafty knaue doth continually picke out more friendship with his Tounge then the simple man euer could with his inforced and lamen table teares. Yet we must needes agre that teares at all tymes are not to bee pitied, for often tymes in a man they be token greate dissemblinge, vnlesse his cause bee the greater, and to a womā some will say they be natural, and take away her teares, take away her lyfe: & therfore the lesse to be blamed, though sometyme she weepes for euery tryfle: for wee see by experience that she wil [Page 54] wepe & laugh, and both with one mynd oftentymes very hartely, and that most cōmonly w tout any disgrace to her credite or fauour at all: it shewes playnly that she wil sone be angry & soone pleased, and therin she kepes stil y e nature of the soft and gentle child, & he y t offers a child wronge, hath but small witt and discretion: it hath sildome bene seene, y t mallice coulde neuer rust in a womans hart: where it continually ebs & slowes there remayneth litle corruption y e continuall runninge riuers we see alwaies most cleere at the bottom, & the stāding puddles continually ful of [...]ilth: cast as much grauel & stones into y e one as you can, and shortly after with one flow you shall see it as clean at the bottom as it was before: cast as much and as litle as you wil into the other, if you come 7. yeare after you shal fynd it stil at y e bottom. this stāding puddle we se is neuer cleane, but once in 7 year it hardly escapes vnfyde, either w t a muckrom or w t a swords poynt. The other we see it so cōtinually cleer, as it needes not to bee side. [Page] in the one we see duckes and geese continually swilling and bibling for todes▪ in the other we see fisher mē with their siluer hookes continually anglinge for fish, with greate pastime and pleasure, the one is for the hogge to wallow in & sometyme for the Oxe and the Cow to drink in, y t other for gentlemen to hake at, & sometymes perhappes to watter their nagges in: & thus if your eye sight be any thing clear, you may plainly see that teares at a womans eye, be tokens in her a myld and gentle hart, cleare at the bottom from all enuye and malice, though sometymes perhappes at y e first it beginnes of a curst and a shrewish stomake, as for disgrace which sometimes it bringes vnto the fauour of her face, it is with women as it is with men: it is a comly sight in some man to looke a loft like a lyō, in some other it is a thing very vnseemly.
Speech and continuall talking, becōmeth some men very wel: few words or rather continuall silence, becommeth an other man as well, it is a good [Page 55] sight to see some men in costly and gorgious apparel, according to the vanity of the tyme, to see other some it is as good a sight as to see a curre dogge in a satten dublet: for a prety spaniell it is a great deale better. Is it not a good & commendable sight to behold some mā in his side gowne and white sirples, and euery way besides in the best and most cōly attyre which pertaineth to a graue and diuine minister? Doth not a shorte coat a payre of hye buckled shooes, and a capp with a butten on the crowne, become an other man as well in his vocation (as the countrey husband man) is it not as good a sight to see an egregious offender, and a common breaker of the Princes lawes punished accordinge to his offence, as it is to see the obediēt and true subiect, continuallye cherished and made of? to be short, what soeuer is thought cumly for an honest man, is neuer thought meete for a knaue, and though somtime he puts it on it makes hym appeare but a counterfet. Put a beluet coate vppon a knowen naturall, [Page] and common foole, is he not more to be laught at then if hee were in his pyde cot [...]: bringe an egregious and knowne knaue in place to play the part of an honest man, were it not a thing rather to be laught at then commended? vnlesse he ment neuer to reuert agayne, which is [...]ildeme seene? in the behauioure of man, there be manye iestes, and experience teacheth vs that euery one of thē becomes not euery man alyke. But alwayes according to the natural dispotition and bringing vp of the man, they yee de their comly and vncomely grace in him, euen so is it (to come vnto my purpose) as I haue sayd amonge y e women: for that which doth verye well set forth & become one woman, doth as greatlye disgrace & disuiger an other. but there a straw: in that I know (as I haue sayd, women be soone angerd, and then without a sodaine ebbe, theirharts wil sone sinck in sorrow, therfore I wil not meddle to far with them. yet thus much I hope I may boldlye say w t the philosopler, who spake more in cōmendation [Page 56] of the teares of a woman (beyng rightly wayed) then I wil at this tyme vtter, y t a teare at som womās eye doth yeelde far more beautifull and comelye grace vnto the fauour of her, then the fayrest and best dyamond that may bee found doth vnto y e pretiest ring, or most pretious iewel in the worlde: and thervpon that philosopher said, that a teare in many a womans eye is a pearle in a mans. But leauing the Philosopher w t all his skill, they neuer proceede hartely from them (I think surely) with out som great cause of vnkindnes or greefe. But as is said, w t men no doubt, for the most part it is taken for dissemblinge, & yet oftē we see, they are inforced therto by naturethough it cā not excuse them. But frend Idlenes, this leads vs with the Lapwing cleane from our matter, touching y e behauiour of a knaue, & the construction of my late demaunde, and whereunto I haue replyed according to your answer, as I haue thought good: for I haue shewed you a more playner Construction of the sentence whiche [Page] I putte forth vnto you, then you in my iudgement did make at the first & therfore now what think you of my construction made thereof.
Idlenes.
Sir to geue vp shortly myne opinion (being very loth [...]o hinder or interrupt your purpose in any spech at this time) to my knowlege, you haue opened no more thē is true: but whether you haue declared al y e truth therof or no I know not.
Student
No friende Idlenes I meane not to beate my braynes to open all y t is true, for if I could do so I might fill a house or rather a whole coūtry ful of books, which were vnfit for anye ydle bodye to take in hand. But admittinge (as you haue graunted) that all I haue sayd is true, I haue sufficiently obtayned my desire, for then I hope as you in youre [Page 57] first question propoūded vnto me, crept into my iudgement, by a simile, & therby (as you sayd) gathered myne opiniō in a further matter which serued your turne: euen so now haue I as well serued mine, in that you haue confessed my construction of the sentence put forth vnto you, to be true in euery poynt: for now I thinke you wil easily see & soone confesse your owne fault.
Therfore frend iniury cal your wits togeather, and remēber wel your selfe when you first tooke occasion to presse your selfe into my companye, desirous as you seemed verye friendlye to craue sometime of cōference with me, finding your speech and behauiour so agreable vnto my good lyking, I was content to entertayne & admit you into my society and companye, as heretofore hath appeared, and to allow of your familiar & boulde speech, as if you had bene my chiefe companion and mate: & now you vaūt of your victory, that you haue won me to lye bathinge my selfe with you in your lasy and ydle tubbe with your allurīg [Page] sweete water of vanity. And now as though I would not wish y e spēding of one hower willinglye without your company: you offer your selfe to hange about my necke, as though you were with mee hayle fellowe wel met. But frend ydlenes, when I first entertained you (I finde now as a boulde geast) I ment nothīg lesse, nor yet do I mind, to wrap you (as gentlemē & gentlewomē [...]o their ribonds & chaynes) aboute my neck. I would be loth to be sene caryīg you (as begers do their childerē) vpon my back: therfore since vpon thys small familiarity vouchsafed vpō you (as one of shameles childrē) you begin to creep vpō my backe, no doubt you wil shortly fulfil my former speach, to spit into my mouth. But friend ydlenes, neither my neck nor my mouth be any fit places for you, I haue otherwayse to imploy thē: & now setting partiality aside, be your owne iudge whether the old saying, to much familiarity breedeth cōtempt, be here found true in you or no: and when you know your selfe to bee the vaynest [Page 58] member in the word, then stryue not to dallye any further with me in defēding or answearing of any thing, for I mynd no longer to trouble my selfe, nor to spend any more tyme in hearynge your ydle deuyses: therfore wher as you say, you can feed me with ydle questions euery hower in the day, euery day in the yeare, and euery yeare duryng my lyfe, if I wil but graūt you audience: I wish you rather to bestow them and your selfe also wher you list: and thus in stid of audiēce I grant you here my roūth. It hath bene an old sainge, many geese many birdes, many womē many words: but you haue idle talk plēty for a whole countrey, both of mē & womē, therefore sone as to late, I yeeld vnto you y e game betimes.
Idlenes.
If I shoulde thus bee lefte at euerye hand, I might wel then go and seeke a companion in the Skyes. But this is nothinge straunge vnto mee, for I am [Page] oftētimes thus banished and sent away & yet after a while presently sometime and priuily intertayned agayn.
But since now for a tyme I am very lyke to be left here all alone, I wil imploy my self according to the ydlenes of the place.
Idlenes
Primus iucūdus tolle-RANDVS, ATQVE secundus tertius est vanus: sed fetat quatridianus.
Primus.
Secundus.
Tertius.
Quatridianus.
For wearing of ringes.
Miles, Marcator, Stultus, nuptie, & amator.
☞ ☜
To vveare the ringe vpon the thum is for the Knight.
The forefinger for the Marchaunt.
The middle finger for the Foole
[Page 61]The third finger for the maried man.
The little finger for the Louer.
☞ ☜