TAYLORS Farewell, to the Tower-Bottles.
BY your leaue Gentlemen, Ile make some sport,
Although I venture halfe a hanging for't:
But yet I will no peace or māners breake
For I to none but Leather-bottles speak.
No Anger spurres me forward, or despight
In smooth plaine Verse I talke of wrong and Right.
The Looser may speake, when the Winner wins,
And madly merrily my Muse begins.
Mad Bedlam
Tom, assist me in thy Rags,
Lend me thy Army of foule Feinds and Hags:
Hobgoblins, Elues, faire Fayries, and foule Furies,
Let me haue twelue Groce of Infernall Iuries,
With Robin Goodfellow, and bloody Bone
Assist my merry Muse, all, euery one.
I will not call to the
The 9. Muses
Pegassian Nine,In this they shall not ayde me in a Line:
Their fauours Ile reserue, till fitter time,
To grace some better busines with my Rime,
Plaine home-spun stuffe shall now proceed from me,
Much like vnto the Picture of
The picture of 2. fooles, & the third looking on, I doe ficly compare with the two black Bottles and my selfe.
wee Three.And now I talke of three, iust three we are,
Two false blacke Bottles, and my selfe at jarre,
[Page] And Reader when you reade our cause of strife,
You'le laugh or else lye downe, He lay my life,
But as Remembrance lamely can rehearse,
In sport Ile rip the matter vp in Verse.
Yet first, heere downe I thinke it fit to set
By what meanes first, I with those Bottles met.
Then stroake your Beards my Masters, and giue care,
I was a Waterman twice Foure long yeare,
And liu'd in a Contented happy state,
Then turn'd the whirling wheele of fickle Fate,
From Water vnto Wine: Sir
William Waad
Did freely, and for nothing turne my trade.
Ten yeares almost the place I did Retaine,
And
I fill'd the 2 bottles, being in quantity 6. Gallons from euery Ship that brought Wines vp the Riuer of Thames.
glean'd Great
Bacchus blood from
France and Spaine,Few Ships my visitation did escape,
That brought the sprightfull liquor of the Grape:
My Bottles and my selfe did oft agree,
Full to the Top, all merry came
Wee three.
Yet alwayes 'twas my chance in
Bacchus spight,
To come into the Tower vnfox'd vpright.
But as mens thoughts a world of wayes doe range,
So as Lieutenants chang'd, did Customes
The Wines had bin continually brought into the Leiutenants seller of the Tower for the space of 3
[...]6 yeres, & neuer solde till now of late within this 4. or fiue yeares.
change:The Ancient vse, vs'd many yeares before,
Was folde, vnto the highest Rate and more,
At such a price, which whosoe're did giue,
Must play the Thiefe, or could not saue and liue.
Which to my losse, I manifestly found
I am well sure it cost me Thirty pound
For One yeare, but before the next yeare come,
'Twas almost mounted to a double
It was solde at these hard Rates by another Leiutenant, (an honest religious Gentleman, and a good housekeeper) by the perswasions of some of his double diligent Seruants.
summe:Then I, in scorne, Contempt, and vile disgrace,
Discarded was, and thrust quite from my place,
[Page] There
Bacchus almost cast me in the mire,
And I from Wine to Water did retire.
But when the blinde misiudging world did see,
The strange vnlook'd for parting of
vs Three,
To heare but how the multitude did judge,
How they did mutter, mumble, prate and grudge,
That for some
Against all the world I oppose my selfe in this point, but yet I purpose to confesse more then any can accuse me of.
faults I surely had committed,I, in disgrace thus from my place was quitted.
These Imputations grieu'd me to the heart,
(For they were causlesse, and without desert)
And therefore though no man aboue the Ground
That knew the Bottles, would give Twenty
Except hee were a foole or a mad man.
poundRather than I would branded be with shame,
And beare the burthen of desertles blame,
To be an Owle, contemptuously bewondred,
I would giue
I did heare that the leiutenant was to leaue his place, which made me bargain with him at any price, in hope that he would not stay the full Receiuing, which fel out as I wish'd it.
Threescore, fourescore, or a hundred.For I did vow, although I were vndone,
I would redeeme my Credit ouerrunne,
And 'tis much better in a Iayle to Rot,
To suffer begg'ry, slauery, or what not,
Then to be blasted with that wrong of wrongs,
Which is the poyson of Backbiting tongues.
Hoysted aloft vnto this mounting taxe,
Bound fast in Bonds in Parchment and with waxe,
Time gallop'd, and brought on the payment day,
And for three Monthes, I Eighteene pounds did pay.
Then I confesse, I play'd the Thiefe in graine,
And for one Bottle, commonly stole twaine.
But who so buyes the place, and meanes to thriue,
Must many times for One take foure or fiue.
For this I will maintaine and verifie,
It is an Office no true man can buy.
[Page] And by that Reason, sure I should say well,
It is vnfit for any man to sell:
For 'till at such an extreame Rate I bought,
To filch or steale, I scarcely had a thought.
And I dare make a vowe 'fore God and men,
I neuer plaid the Thiefe so much as then.
But at the last my friendly starres agreed,
That from my heauy bonds I should be
That Lieutenant left his place, by which I was eased of my hard paimēts.
freed:Which if I euer come into againe,
Let hanging be the Guerdon for my paine.
Then the
By this Lieutenant that now is.
old Custome did againe begin,And to the Tower I brought the Bottles in,
For which for seruing more then halfe a yeere,
I (with much loue) had Wages and good Cheere,
'Till one
A desperate Clothworker that did hunger and thirst to vndoe him selfe.
most valiant, ignorantly stout,Did buy, and ouer-buy, and buy me out.
Thus like Times Footeball was I often tost
In Dock out Nettle, vp downe, blest and crost,
Out-fac'd and fac'd, grac'd and againe disgrac'd,
And as blinde Fortune pleas'd, displac'd or plac'd.
And thus, for ought my
Augury is a kind of Sooth saying, by the flight of birds.
Augurie can seeDiuorc'd and parted euer are
wee Three.
Old
Nabaoth, my case is much worse then thine,
Thou but thy Vineyard lost, I lost the Wine:
Two witnesses (for bribes) thee false accus'd,
(Perhaps) some prating Knaues hath me abus'd:
Yet thy wrong's more then mine, the Reason why,
For thou wast
Nabaoth was stoned to death, so am not I.
ston'd to death, so am not I.But as the dogges did eate the flesh and gore
Of
Iezabell, that Royall painted Whore,
So may the Gallowes eate some friends of mine,
That first striu'd to remoue me from the Wine.
[Page] This may by some misfortune, be their lot,
Although that any way I wish it not▪
But farewell Bottles, neuer to returne,
Weepe you in Sack, whil'st I in Ale will mourne;
Yet though you have no reason, wit, or sence,
I'le sencelesse chide you for your vile offence,
That from your foster father me, would slide
To dwell with Ignorance,
My Bottles doe deserue a little reproofe.
a blinde-fold guide,For who in
Britaine knew (but I) to vse you,
And who but I knew how but to abuse you;
My speech to you, no Action sure can beare,
From
Scandala magnatum I am cleare.
When Vpland Trades-men thus dares take in hand
A wat'ry buis'nesse, they not vnderstand:
It did presage things would turne topsie turuie,
And the conclusion of it would be scuruie.
But leauing him vnto the course of Fate,
Bottles let you and I a while debate,
Call your extrauagant wilde humours home,
And thinke but whom you are departed from;
I that for your sakes haue giu'n stabs and stripes▪
To giue you suck from Hogsheads and from Pipes,
I that with paines and care you long haue
[...]urst,
Oft fill'd you with the best, and left the worst.
And to maintaine you full would often pierce
The best of Butts, a Puncheon, or a
[...]ierce,
Whil'st Pipes and Sackbuts were the Instruments
That I plaid on, to fill your full contents.
With Bastart, Sack, with Allegant, and Rhenish,
Your hungry mawes I often did replenish,
VVith Malmesie, Muskadell, and Corcica,
VVith VVhite, Red, Clarret, and Liatica,
[Page] With Hollocke, Sherant, Malliga, Canara,
I stuft your sides vp with a sursarara,
That though the world was hard, my care was still,
To search and labour you might haue your fill.
That when my Master did or Sup or Dine,
He had his choyse of
This was a credit to the Kings Castle and to the Lieutenant thereof.
Fifteene sorts of Wine.And as good Wines they were, I dare be bolde,
As any Seller in this Land did holde.
Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring,
Befitting for the Castle of a King.
This Royalty, my labour did maintaine,
When I had meate and wages for my paine.
Ingratefull
Bottles, take it not amisse
That I, of your vnkindnes tell you this,
Sure if you could speake, you would say in briefe,
Your greatest want, was still my greatest griefe.
Did I not often in my bosome hugge you,
And in mine armes would (like a Father) lugge you,
Haue I not run through Tempests, gusts and stormes,
And met with danger in strange various formes,
All times and Tides, with, and against the streame,
Your welfare euer was my labours Theame.
Sleet, Raine, hayle, winde, or Winters frosty chaps,
Ioues Lightning, or his dreadfull Thunderclaps,
When all the Elements in one Conspire,
Sad Earth, sharpe Ayre, rough Water, flashing Fire,
Haue warr'd on one another, as if all
This world of nothing, would to nothing fall.
When showring hayleshot, from the storming heau'n
Nor blustering Gusts by
Eol's belching driuen,
Could holde me backe, then oft I searcht and sought,
And found, and vnto you the purchase brought.
[Page] All weathers, faire, foule, Sunshine, wet and dry,
I trauail'd still your paunches to supply.
Oft haue I fought, and swagger'd in your Right,
And fild you still by either sleight or might.
And in th'Exchequor I stood for your Cause,
Else had you bin confounded by the Lawes.
I did produce such
I found and brought 3. witnesses that knew, & took their Oathes for the quantities of the Bottles for 50. yeares.
witnesses, which crostThe Marchants sute, else you had quite bin lost,
And (but for me) apparantly 'tis knowne,
You had bin Kicksie winsie ouerthrowne,
And for my seruice, and my much paines taken,
I am cashier'd, abandon'd, and forsaken.
I knew it well, and said, and swore it too,
That he that bought you would himselfe vndoe,
And I was promist, that when hee gaue o're,
That I should fill you, as I did before,
For which Foure yeares with patience I did stay,
Expecting he would breake, or run away,
Which though it bee falne out as I expected,
Yet nerethelesse my seruice is rejected.
Let men judge if I haue not cause to write
Against my Fortune, and the worlds despight,
That in my prime of strength, so long a
14. yeares.
space,I toyl'd and drudg'd, in such a gainelesse place,
VVhereas the best part of my life I spent,
And (to my power) gaue euery man content,
In all which time which I did then remaine,
I gaue no man occasion to complaine,
For vnto all that know me I appeale,
To speake if well or ill I vsde to deale,
Or if there bee the least abuse in mee,
For which I thus from you should sundred bee.
[Page] For though my profit by you was but small,
Yet sure my Gaine was loue in generall
And that I doe not lye, not speake amisse,
I can bring hundreds that can witnes this,
Yet for all this I euer am put off,
And made a scorne, a by word and a scoffe.
It must some Villaines information be,
That hath maliciously abused me,
But if I knew the misinforming else,
I would write lines should make him hang himselfe.
Be he a Great man that doth vse me ill,
(That makes his will his Law, and Law his will)
I holde a Poore man may that Great man tell,
How that in doing ill, he doth not well.
But Bottles blacke, once more haue at your breech,
For vnto you I onely bend my speach
Full fourteene times had
Sols illustrious Rayes,
Ran through the
Zodiacke, when I spent my dayes
To conserue, reserue, preserue and deserue
Your loues, whē you with wants were like to starue.
A Groce of Moones, and twice 12. months besides,
I haue attended you all times and tides.
If I gain'd Twelue-pence by you all that time,
May I to Tyburne for promotion Climbe,
For though the blinde world vnderstand it not,
I know there's nothing by you can be got,
Except a drunken pate, a scuruy word,
And now and then be tumbled ouer-boord,
And though these mischiefes I haue kept me fro,
No other Bottleman could e're doe so.
Tis knowne you haue bin stab'd, throwne in the Thames,
And he that fild you beaten, with exclaimes,
[Page] By Marchants, who haue much abused bin
VVhich Exigents, I neuer brought you in,
But I with peace and quietnes got more,
Then any brabling e're could doe before.
The VVarders knowes, each Bottleman (but I)
Had alwayes a crack'd crowne, or a blacke eye,
Oft beaten like a Dog, with a scratch'd face,
Turn'd empty beaten backe with vile disgrace.
These iniuries my selfe did bring in quiet,
And still with peace I fild you free from Ryot.
My labours haue bin dedicate to you,
And you haue dealt with me, as with a
Iew,
For vnto thousand witnesses 'tis knowne,
I did esteeme your welfare as mine owne.
But an obiection from my words may runne,
That seeing nothing by you may be wonne,
VVhy I doe keepe this deale of doe about you
When as I say, I can liue best without you.
I answer, though no profit you doe bring,
Yet there is many a profitable thing,
Which I of
This course neuer came into my mind in 14. yeares, whilst I kept the place.
Marriners might often buy,Which vnto me would yeeld commodity.
And I expected when the Time should be,
That I should fill you, as 'twas promist me,
Whereby some other profit might be got,
Which I in former times remembred not,
All which could doe the Custome house
A jarre of Oliues, or Oyle, a fewe Potatoes, Oranges Lemmons, & diuers other things, which a man may buy, get, and saue by.
no wrong,VVhich to repeat heere would be ouer-long.
But I was sleighted, with most vile disgrace,
And one that was my Prentise plac'd in
The fellow was euer a true man to me, & I enuy not his happines, but yet I haue very foule play offred
[...]
place.But holla holla Muse, come backe come backe,
I speake to none but you, you Bottles blacke.
[Page] You that are now turn'd Monsters, most ingrate,
Where you haue cause to loue most, most to hate,
You that are of good manners quite depriu'd,
Worse then the
They are made of a beasts hide.
Beast from whence you are deriu'd,If you be good for nothing but what's naught,
Then sure you haue bin better fed then taught:
Besides the world will taxe me, and say still
The fault was mine that nurtur'd you so ill.
Persisting thus, in your iniurious wrong,
It shewes y'are drunke with being Empty long.
Long fasting sure hath made you weake and dull,
For you are steddiest when you are most full.
Me thinkes I heare you say the fault's not yours,
You are commaunded, by Superiour powers,
But if the choyse were yours, you had much rather
That I, then any one the Wines should gather.
Alas poore fooles, I see your force is weake,
Complaine you cannot, wanting power to speake:
If you had speech, it may be you would tell,
How with you and the Marchants I delt well,
But 'tis no matter, though you silent be,
My fourteene yeares long seruice speakes for me.
And for the Marchants still my friends did proue,
I'le tell them somewhat to requite their Loue.
First let their wisedomes but collect and summe,
How many Ships with Wine doe yearely come,
And they will finde that all these Bottles shall
Not fill
At
[...]. gallons from a Ship, & from some but 1. gallon and a halfe, I account 30. Ships allowance is the quantity of 1. Hogshead, whereby it may be easily found in the Customhouse if I speake true or not.
nine Hogsheads, at the most of all,Then he that for them Three Tonne dares to giue,
The case is plaine, he must or beg or theeue.
I doe not say that you haue bin abusde,
But you may partly guesse how you were vsde.
[Page] Indeed
Now I speak of the Bottles againe.
I thinke we ne're so soone had parted,Had friendly outsides bin but friendly hearted,
The sweet bayte Couers the deceiuing hookes,
And false hearts can put on good wordes and lookes.
All is not Golde the Prouerbe sayes that glisters,
And I could wish their Tongues were full of blisters,
That with their flatt'ring diligence most double,
Themselues, and you, and I, thus much did trouble.
For misinforming paltry Knaues must be
The Instruments of such indignity.
But as the fairest Garden hath some weeds,
And 'mongst the cleanest flocke some scab'd sheepe breeds.
Or as the Ta
[...]e amongst the Wheat doth growe
Good onely for what's ill yet makes a showe.
So ther's no Great house fixed on the ground,
But Clawbacke Sichophants may there be found,
For 'tis a Maxim held in euery Nation,
Great men are wayted on by Adulation.
No doubt but some doth to the Court resort,
And sure the Tower must imitate the Court▪
As
Caesars Pallace may (perhaps) haue many,
So Caesars Castle cannot say not any.
I haue found some that with each winde wold moue
With hearts all hatred, and with tongues all Loue,
Who with Hats mou'd, would take me by the Fist
With Complements of honest
Iacke how ist?
I'm glad to see thee well with all my heart,
Long haue I long'd to drinke with thee a quart,
I haue beleeu'd this Drosse had bin pure Golde,
When presently I haue bin bought and solde
Behinde my backe (for no desert or Cause)
By those that kindely Cap'd and kist their
[...]
[Page] For one of them (an ancient Reuerend Scribe)
Receiued Forty shillings for a bribe,
On purpose so to bring the case about
To put another in, and thrust me out.
Long was the time this busines was a brewing,
Vntill fit opportunity accruing,
I was displac'd, yet spight the bribed Sharke,
The man that gaue the bribe did misse the marke.
O Bottles Bottles, Bottles, Bottles, Bottles,
Platoes diuine workes, nor great
Aristotles,
Did ne're make mention that a guift so Royall,
was euer bought and solde, like slaues disloyall.
For since King
Richard, second of that Name,
(I thinke) your high Prerogatiue you Claime:
And this much heere to write I dare be bolde
You are a guift, not giuen to be solde,
For sence or Reason neuer would alowe
That you should e're be bought and solde till now.
Philosophers with all their Documents,
Nor aged Time with Antique monuments,
Did euer mention such vntoward Elues,
That did more idely cast away themselues.
To such lowe Ebbe your basenes now doth shrinke,
Whereas you yearely did make Thousands drinke.
The hatefull Title now to you is left,
Y'are Instruments of begg'ry and of Theft.
But when I fild you (I dare boldly sweare)
From all these imputations you were cleare,
Against which I dare, dare, who dare or can,
To answer him and meete him man to man,
Truth armes me, with the which I will holde Bias,
Against the shocke of any false
Golias.
[Page] Bottles you haue not wanted of your fill,
Since you haue left me, by your heedlesse will,
You scarce haue tasted penury or want,
(For cunning Theeues are seldome ignorant)
Yet many times you haue beene fild with trash,
Scarce good enough your dirty skins to wash.
All this I know, and this I did deuine,
But all's one, Draffe is good enough for Swine.
I doe not heere inueigh, or yet Enuy
The places profit, none can come hereby,
And in my hand it lyes (if so I please)
To spoyle it, and not make it worth a Pease.
And to the world I'le cause it to appeare,
Who e're giues for you Twenty pounds a yeare.
Must from the Marchants pilfer Fourescore more,
Or else he cannot liue, and pay the score.
And to close vp this point, I say in briefe,
VVho buyes it is a Begger, or a Thiefe,
Or else a Foole, or to make all agree,
He may be Foole, Thiefe, Begger, all the Three.
So you false Bottles, to you both adieu,
The
Thames for mee, not a
Denier for you.
FINIS.