THose that will change this new coyn'd English shilling,
And giue's two Testorns, or three Groates, most willing:
Shall finde (though 'twas not Coyned in the Mint)
That there's no counterfaited mettall in't.
I Coyn'd it, and the Coyning I'le maintaine
It is vnclip'd and weight vnto a graine;
To Mint and stampe, my braines and Pen agreed,
I Coyn'd, and feare no hanging for the deed.

The meaning of the Picture.

HEre, Twelue-pence slowely rides vpon a Snaile,
To meete the Oare, the Shouell and the Flaile:
But to the Furre-gowne all in post he flings
Through th' Ayre, o're Earth and Sea, with Faulcons wings,
Which Emblem truly to the world implies,
That Money to the Mizers Coffers flies.
Whilst vnto those that paines and labour take,
It doth a creeping, sleeping dull pace make.
But let it creepo, flie slowe, or swiftly come:
Amidst this scrambling Age, I will haue some:
For if it come not to the Oare, nor Pen,
I'le neuer studdy, write, or Rowe agen.
IOHN TAYLOR.

A SHILLING OR, The Trauailes of Twelue-pence.

[figure]

TO ALL THOSE THAT HAVE BEENE, ARE, WILL, OR WOVLD BE, Masters of a SHILLING or TWELVE-PENCE.

SIR Iohn Mandeuill, an English Knight, a famous Trauailer, and dis­couerer of forraigne Maners, Regi­ons, and Rarieties; Christopher Collumbus, Magellane, Hernan­do Cortez, Don Diego de Almagro, Drake, Hawkins, Frosbushir, Baskeruile, Cauendish, and many more worthy Trauailers of our owne and other Nations, whose honourable, dangerous, and laudable atchieuements, haue made their meri­torious names to be Recorded, to the admiration of the time past, present, and to future posterity: yet if [Page] it be well considered, it will plainely appeare, that all their laborious endeuours had an end with their liues. But the Trauailer that I treate of, the Thrice­trebble tryumphant Troynouantine Twelue-pence, is like a perpetuall motion in continuall trauell, to whose Iourney there can be no end, vntill the world come to a finall dissolution and period. For the progresse of Coriat was but a walke in re­gard of my Shillings perambulations: and if all the Inke and Paper-murdering fictions should be true of Amadis de Gaule, Huon, Sir Egre, Be­uis, Guy, the Mirrour of Knighthood, the seauen champions, Chinon, Sir Dagonet, Triamore, Launcelet, Don Spatterlash of Toledo, Monsieur Mallegrindo, Knight of the frozen Ile: If it were possible that all their lyes should be true, of the great Trauels of these imagi­narie and neuer seene Worthies, yet must they all come short of the praise that is due to my trauelling Twelue-pence. I could haue busied my braines [Page] about many other Subiects, as quick Epigrams, biting Satyres, sharpe Iambicks, soothing Ele­gies, pleasant Pastorals, Odes, Madrigalls, or Roundelayes; alluring Sonnets, flattering Epi­thalamiums, or lying Epitaphs, Panegericks, or name-seruing Acrosticks, and Annagrams, lofty Tragedie, lowely Comedie, ridling Mor­rall, or stately Heroicks: either of all these I could haue poorely handled, but that my Muse stum­bled by chance vpon this Twelue-peny subiect, wherein I would haue the Reader to consider, that in some places I speak only of a Shilling or Twelue-pence, and in some places generally of Money. I haue set downe the manner of my Shillings shif­ting of Masters, more often then the Serieants do; for they vse the old Sheriffs like Almanacks out of date, and yearely serue the new : but Twelue-pence hath sometimes 12. 16. or 20. Masters in a day. In a word (Reader) I doe not beg your fauour, craue your acceptance, entreat your kindnes, implore [Page] your loue, or request your friendship; for it is not any of these in particular that I seeke or care for: but generally at all I ayme, and for all I hope, and being in that hope, I leaue you to Reade and Iudge of my insuing Labours, and my Twelue-pences Trauels.

Yours, as you please to be mine,
IOHN TAYLOR.

THE TRAVELS OF Twelue-pence.

Imagine Reader (to his griefe and glory,
No mā da [...] confesse h [...] whole life [...] actions, as twelue-pen [...] doth.
Twelue-pence himselfe declares his wand'ring story:
Relating how he first was borne and bred,
And how about the world he Trauailed.
IF any one (as I dare boldly dare)
Where the best metta [...] doe grow, Earth is n [...] barren, wh [...] is an Emb [...] that they t [...] hoord or h [...] money, barren of fruits of go [...]ness.
His Birth, his Breeding, and his Life de­clare:
Let him appeare, & I dare lay my neck
He wilbe hang'd, or else deserue a check.
From vast America's rude barbarous bounds,
From rocky barren soyle, and sterrill grounds,
Where men did not their great Creator know,
And where the Devil's the God to whom they bow,
There from my Heathen Dam, or mother Earth
With paines and trauaile, I at first had birth.
[Page]A hundred strong men-midwiues, digg'd their way
Into her bowels, to finde where I lay
With Engines, Spades, Crowes, Mattocks, and such matters,
They ripp'd & tore her harmlesse wombe to tatters,
And but they did within the mid-way catch me,
They would haue dig'd to Hell it selfe to fetch me.
At last they found me, mixt with dirt and drosse,
Corruption vnrefin'd, eclipst my Glosse,
And from the Earth I in the fire was tride,
And into Ingots purg'd and purifide.
From
Purchase.
Paphlagonia, some my birth doe count,
Neere Sandracurgium, a most famous Mount,
And that poore Slaues which were condemn'd to dye,
Were forc'd to digge for me laboriously,
Whereas the dampish Mines infecting ayre
Kill'd the poore wretches, and so eas'd their care.
Some say that
Polidore Virgil. Me­ [...]es might [...]e the first [...]uenter of [...]oyne in E­ [...]pt, yet not [...]f a Twelue-pence, but I [...]inke money [...]as in [...]ains time, I am sure [...]at Abra­ [...]am bought [...] field for bu­ [...]all with [...]oney.
Menes, an Egiptian King,
Me to the shape of Coyne, at first did bring:
But when they saw that people, greedily
For me did runne into all villany,
The Priests did curse the King, that first inuented
Me, that so many wayes their mindes tormented.
For till they knew me, they affirmed true,
No Enuie, Pride, or Auarice they knew.
[Page]Thus with great labour, and the death of men
I first was borne, and afterwards agen
He that to Money did conuert me first,
Was by the Priests and People, bann'd and curst.
With blood and curses I at first began,
And euer since haue beene a curse to man.
Yet for me some excuses may be showne
The name of Twelue-pence, was as then not knowne,
Diuersity of Coynes o're all the world
Were scatter'd vniuersally, and hurld,
In Courts, in Citties, and in warlike Campes
E're I was made, they all vs'd other stamps.
There were some Sicles, some Meruiades,
A small piece of Sp [...]nish Coyne [...] sixe of them to an Engli [...] penny.
An As, a Drachma, a Sesterties,
Quadrins, Sextanes, Minaes, (it appeares)
Didrachmaes, and Sportullas, and Denieres.
My name at first did from the Romanes come,
(As Cooper sayes) they call'd me Sollidum,
Or from a Souldier it was named thus,
(As 'twere his daily wages) Sollidus.
For though the Times are subject to mutation,
Yet from Soldatus I haue nomination:
Thus Twelue-pence hath an ancient Warriour bin,
Although men know not when I did begin.
[Page]And by experience all the world can tell,
Soldatus doth loue Sollidus so well,
That alwayes euery Souldier is vnwilling,
Long to be kept asunder from a Shilling,
If he doe want me, a moneth, two,
Souldiers [...]ng t [...]eir [...] will to [...]
or three,
Hee'll grumble, and goe neere to Mutinie,
He hath no minde to draw his sword and fight,
But (discontented) bids the warres good-night,
When let but Sollidus come to his hand,
Hee'll fight as long as he can goe or stand,
Regarding nor remembring child or wife,
Hee'll hazard and endanger limb and life:
And thus by way of argument 'tis pend,
A Shilling is a Souldiers loued friend.
A Shilling's much more auntient then a pound,
And in pronouncing giues a better sound:
As for example; which is most mouth-filling
Of fifty pounds, or of a thousand shilling,
A thousand pounds, may make the accent rore,
But twenty thousand shillings soundeth more.
Thus of two sillables, I am compacted,
When into one the pounds are all extracted.
The Germane Dollors are my Iuniors farre,
So are the Copesticks of the Brabander.
[Page]The Spanish Royall, piece of foure and eight,
On me for my antiquity may waite:
The Floren, Guelder, and French Cardecus
To me are vpstarts, if Records be true,
The Grosh,
A brasse piece of Bo­hemians coyn [...] twelue of them to a penny.
Potchandle, Stiuer, Doyte, and Sowse
Compar'd with me, are all scarce worth a Lowse:
Nor can the Atcheson or the Baubee
For my antiquity compare with me.
The halfe Crowne is on horseback mounted hie,
Yet neuer trauail'd halfe so farre as I;
The Scottish Mark's a dang'rous piece of Coyne,
'Tis iust a hanging price, if one purloyne,
There's no such hazard in the stealing mee,
I am three halfe-pence lower in degree.
And as in pence I for a Iury stand,
I haue eleuen Coynes vnder my command:
And (to grace all the rest) my proper selfe,
Like a Graund Iury-man make vp the Twelfe.
The Anato­my of tweluepence or a shilling.
But for men shall not thinke I bragge or prate,
Those whom I doe command I'le nominate.
Nine pence (three quarters) with his Harpe befriends me,
And sixe pence with halfe seruice still attends me,
The foure pence halfe-penny next comes fidling on,
The Groat my third part doth depend vpon:
[Page]The three-pence is a quarter wayter still,
The two pence in sixe parts attends my will,
Three halfe-pence stoopes to my commanding sway,
And eight of them at once doth me obay:
The single pence are all my little Cozens,
And doe attend my seruice by the dozens.
Three farthings by sixteenes attend in plenty,
And halfe-pence to the summe of foure and twenty,
And last (for Pages) on my State doth waite,
Of dapper farthing Tokens forty eight.
But ere I did attaine my shape and forme,
I'abid the brunt of many a furious storme;
For this the world I would haue well to wot,
Mine honour was with paines and danger got.
I past the raging Seas and flaming fire,
And gain'd a Face and Crosse for all my hire:
It would almost dissolue a heart of flint,
To be so vs'd as I was in the Mint:
The paines of Purgatory cannot be
But fictions to those things that fell on me.
For what I did endure, had man but felt,
It had (like Kitchinstuffe) haue made him melt.
Then my Tormentors, all at once agrees
From my great heat, to let me coole or freeze,
[Page]And dead and cold, me then againe they martir'd,
Me all in pieces they be cut and quartir'd,
Weighing the mangled mammocks
Fiue Shil­lings weigh [...] an ounce.
, they pronounce
That fiue of me in weight should be an ounce.
Then to the Anuile was I brought in hast,
Whereas with Hammers they did me bumbast,
And there they neuer left belab'ring mee,
Vntill they brought me to the shape you see.
Thus I mine honour, and my forme did win,
Through many dreadfull dangers I was in.
And though there scarce doth memory remaine,
What I was e're the sixt King Edwards raigne,
Yet long before his time I was in value,
As read in good true written Stories shall you.
My stamp (when Rome did keepe the world in awe)
Was foure swift Steedes that did a Chariot draw,
Which figur'd, that I too and fro should runne
An endlesse Iourney that would nere be done.
I am made endlesse, round, which doth portend,
Till the world end, my Iourney ne're shall end.
And men may plainely in my roundnesse see,
An Emblem of the worlds rotundity.
Round is the Globe, round is the Hemisphere,
Round runs the Moon and Sun, each month and yeere;
[Page]Round ran the Empire from th' Assirian Kings,
Round vnto Persia, Greece, and Rome it flings,
Round to great Britaine, it is come I know,
Whence (hem'd round with the Sea) it cannot goe.
But the maine cause that makes it stay and stand,
Is where 'tis guarded by th'Almighties hand.
Round from the North to East, to South and West,
All Arts haue still ranne round 'tis manifest.
The Iewes, th' Egiptians, Calates, Persians,
Deuis'd Arts, and were Astrologians,
And true experience doth approue it thus,
Their knowledge is runne round from them to vs.
The age of man goes round, a child at first,
And like a child returnes vnto his dust.
His body and his limbs, his eyes, his head,
All in round formes are made and fashioned,
The roots, the fruits, the flowers, and the Trees,
All in a round conformity agrees,
Our drinking healths run round, with nimble quicknes
Vntill at last to many healths brings sicknes:
VVhen store of money to mens hands doe come,
They say they haue receiu'd a good round summe;
And when a man doth take a Knaue vp soundly,
'Tis said he told him of his faults most roundly.
[Page]The Hang-man hangs a Traytor, or a Thiefe,
And is about his businesse round, and briefe,
Round are the dishes where we put our meate,
Our Cups, wherein we drinke, are round compleat:
Round is our Butter, round our Cheeses are,
Round are the cloathes which on our backs we weare,
Beasts, fowles and fish, that euery where abound,
Are (for the most part) euery where made round.
Round are all wedding Rings, implying still,
Mens cares runne round, like horses in a Mill.
Thus hauing plainely shew'd, why, and wherefore
I am made round, now to my taske once more.
About my circle, I a Poesie haue,
The Title, God vnto the King first gaue.
In Engli [...] I haue put [...] placed) G [...] my helpe [...]
The circle that encompasseth my face,
Declares my Soueraignes Title, by Gods grace,
Vpon my other side is,
Annagra [...] of the Lat [...] Motto of Posui pla [...]into Englis [...] words, W [...]dom adm [...] me Power
POSVI DEVM,
Whereto is added ADIVTOREM MEVM.
The which last Poesie Annagrammatiz'd,
Wisedome, admit me power, true compriz'd,
Wisedome at first vpon me did bestowe
Such power that for a Shilling I should goe,
When Wisedome gaue me power, I was then
A seruant, not a Master vnto men.
[Page]Now, Power
The Anna­gram turn'd [...]ckward, [...]isedome [...]es behind [...]ey.
makes me Wisedome force perforce
Improper, like the Cart before the Horse.
For in this Age, so many friends I finde,
My power's before, and Wisedome comes behinde.
He that for me and for my kin can rake
Is wise, (although a Coxcomb) for my sake,
He that wants me, shall be esteem'd an Asse,
Although he be as wise as e're man was.
For there's such league, one in Triplicity
Sworne firme betwixt the Deuill, the world, and I,
That those who to the one true seruants bee,
Are captiue bondslaues vnto all the three,
Great sway vpon the earth to vs is giuen,
For well we know we ne're shall come in heau'n,
And all that in vs take delight and mirth,
Their onely heau'n is here vpon the earth.
And couetous they are not, in this case,
Because they couet for no better place;
So much for that: now to my shape againe,
You see my face is beardlesse, smooth and plaine,
Because my Soueraigne
King Edw. a [...]s crowned [...] nine yeares [...] a [...] and [...]ed before [...] was 6.
was a child, 'tis knowne
When as he did put on the English Crowne.
But had my stamp beene bearded, as with haire,
Long before this is had beene worne out bare;
[Page]For why with me the vnthrifts euery day,
With my face downewards do at shoue-boord
Edw. sh [...]lings for t [...] most part are used a [...] shooue-bor [...]
play,
That had I had a beard, you my suppose
Th'had worne it off, as they haue done my nose.
Yet doth my bare face sometimes, now and than
Make a young beardlesse Boy, outface a man,
For any Boy and I, doe both agree,
To outface any man that doth want me.
A crosse
Vpon t [...] Crosse of a Twelue-pence.
I beare vpon my other side,
(A glorious figure of true Christian pride)
And with that crosse I any man can crosse
From wrong to iniury, from harme to losse,
And in me is such working powerfulnesse,
That those that haue me, and both crosse and
Heere I meane ge [...]ally of m [...]ney, and simply of twelue p [...]
blesse.
The English, and French Armes, the Lyons & flowres
Shewes Fraunce a subiect once to Englands powres,
And when my Master did respire his breath,
His sisters Mary, and Elizabeth
Ordain'd new Twelue-pences with me to ioyne,
But altred not my badge vpon my Coyne,
Except a little which King Philip did,
Which Queene Elizabeth did soone forbid.
But since the comming of my Soueraigne Iames,
The Badge vpon my
K. Ed [...] Q. Mar [...] Qu. E [...] & K [...] all their [...]lings of weight [...] and before my [...]-pence [...]
back more worth proclaimes.
[Page]And to mixe state with truth, truth with delight.
Vpon the armes I carie, thus I write.
Vpon the Kings Armes.
THree Lyons Passant (borne by former Kings)
Subdues the
[...]
Harp, quarters the
[...]
flowers of
[...]
France
Fourth Lyon Rampant, equall honour brings,
Though hauing power to warre doth peace aduance,
Vnited in great Iames this Royall stile,
King of great Britaine, Fraunce, and Irelands Ile.
Thus Readers, hauing printed for your reading,
My birth, my rising, my estate, and breeding:
My Badge, my face, my Crosse, my Annagram.
How mighty in my great command I am,
Now will I tell some trauels I haue had,
And humors of my Masters, good and bad,
Some (as I can remember) I'le recite)
Should I name all, 'twere almost infinite.
ONE ask'd the Cinnick wise Athenian,
[...]iogenes
The cause why siluer look'd so pale and wan:
He, in reply was quick, and answer'd straite,
Because so many for it lay in waite,
And did men thinke in what diuersity
Of fashions men for me in waite doe lye,
[Page]They would agree together in a tale,
Twelue [...] is at [...].
That I had reason to looke wan and pale.
I haue of Treason, bin made Instrument
To betray Kingdomes, and to circumuent,
To vndermine, and to subuert the states
Of Empires, and of mighty Potentates.
I haue caus'd murder, cruell Homicide,
Foule Fratricide, vnnaturall Paricide.
For which a curse doth vnto me remaine
A Runnagate, and Vagabond like Caine.
And though that God, in thund'ring Maiestie
For bad man to haue any Gods but he,
Yet many thousands that commaund forget,
Not minding God, their mindes on me
On mon [...]
they set.
To purchase me, men haue forsworne and sworne,
And from the Booke of life their names haue torne.
For me the Sabaoth is prophan'd with workes
Of Christians labours, worse then Iewes or Turkes,
For me those Parents that haue nurst and bred
Their Children, by them are dishonoured,
For to haue me (to endlesse ioy or woe)
Some children care not where their Fathers goe.
I with the deu'ls sole helpe (my sole partaker)
Haue bin an vniuersall Cuckold-maker:
[Page]For where nor wit, or beauty could come in
In any shape I could admittance win.
I make the Husband sometimes keepe the dore,
The whil'st for me) his wife doth play the whore.
And many times (to moue all hell to laughter)
I made a Mother Bawde vnto her daughter.
I forc'd a Virgine, cast off continence
And Chastity, and put on Impudence.
I made a reuerend Iudge to take a Bribe,
I made a Scribe a forged Name subscribe,
I caus'd a Miser sell his soule to hell,
Because I here on Earth with him should dwell,
And eighteene yeares he kept me day and night
Lock'd in a Chest, not seeing any light.
And though my lot was thus a Slaue to be,
Yet was he a farre worser Slaue to me;
For he had vow'd himselfe to death to pine,
Rather then spend one penny pot of wine,
Although he late had swallow'd downe his throat,
Stinking fresh Herrings threescore for a Groat.
And he did bide this slauish misery,
On purpose to debarre my liberty.
At last this poore rich, base penurious Knaue,
Was borne (the way of all flesh) to his Graue:
[Page]And his braue heire, vpon his backe had got
A mourning merry sute, long look'd I wote,
He the next day let flie the ill got treasure,
And I began to see some worldly pleasure;
From my old Masters Chest, I was assum'd
To my young Masters Pockets, sweet perfum'd,
'Ta bawdy house, of the last new translation
He bare me with him, for his recreation,
There for a maydenhead he plaid a game,
Where eightscore more before had done the same,
There did my Master Knaue, discharge the score,
And went, and left me with my Mistris Whore.
I stay'd not in her seruice long, for shee
Was not two dayes before she set me free,
For hauing got a Frenchified heate,
She was prescrib'd a Dyet, and a sweat,
She gaue me to the Surgeon, for some Lotion
For Vnguents, and a gentle working Potion
For Plaisters, and for Oyntments in a Box,
And so I left my Mistris, with a Pox.
The Surgeon me to the Physitian sent,
From him I to th' Apothecaery went,
But there I thought that Hell I had beene in,
And all the Fiends had in his Boxes bin.
[Page]For it appear'd to me that all his drugs
Had got the names of the infernall Bugs:
Zarzaparilla, Colloquintida,
Auxungia Porci, Cassia Fistula,
Egiptiacum, Album Camphiratum,
Blacke Oxicrotium, and white Sublimatum.
But soone my Master freed me from my feare,
He to the Tauerne went, and left me there.
And whilst I in the Vintners house remain'd,
Some knowledge of my Masters state I gain'd,
Let no man say that drunke, my selfe I showe,
For what I speake I vnderstand and knowe.
I'le shew some discommodities that waite
(For the most part) on euery Vintners state.
First, if a rowe of houses stand together,
All of one bignesse form'd, no oddes in either,
If one of them be to a Vintner let,
Amongst the rest at double rent 'tis set,
Next, if French Wine be twenty pounds the Tonne,
But a poore penny in a quart is wonne:
Besides, he sometimes in the Caske doth finde,
Of Lees sixe Gallons, for a Lagge behinde.
And more, when in the Celler it is laid,
The Carmen, and Wine-Porters must be paid.
[Page]And by misfortune if the Caske be weake,
Three or foure Gallons in the ground may leake,
Or taking vent, it may grow dead and flat,
And then the Vintner little gets by that.
And if he be a fellow of free hart,
He now and then must giue a pint or quart.
His Candles (night and day) are burning still
Within his Seller, lest his Wines should spill:
And if two Kennell-rakers chance to come
To come i'th euening, they must haue a roome,
And ouer one bare pint will sit and prate,
And burne a Candle out (perhaps) thereat,
Whilst all the Drawers must stay vp and waite
Vpon these fellowes be it ne're so late.
The whilst a Candle in the Kitchin wasts,
Another to his end ith' Seller hasts,
One with the Guests, another at the Barre,
Thus for one pint, foure Candles burning are.
By day light, this I haue seene some to doe,
Call for a pint, a Pipe, and Candle to,
By that time he hath done, 'tis quickly counted,
To what large summe the Vintners gaines amounted.
Besides all this, his charge is euer great,
For seruants wages, cloathes, and fire, and meate;
[Page]For linnen, washing, Trenchers, losse of Plate,
For Glasses broken (by the course of Fate)
Besides, he hath some scores, which if you looke
[...] or the [...] of this [...] true on [...] owne [...]wledge.
They make his posts looke white, & blacke his booke:
And if a debter seau'n long yeares doe stay,
But sixe pence for a quart of wine hee'll pay,
When if a Merchant doe a Vintner trust,
For the forbearance deere he answere must.
And when some Guests haue liquor in their braines,
How they will swagger in their roaring straines,
Out goes their swords, and by the eares they fall,
And now and then one's nail'd vnto the wall.
The man and's wife abus'd, his seruants beaten,
No moneyes pay'd for what is drunke or eaten,
[...] if a [...]wer be [...] so good [...]an, yet [...]ry paltry [...] will [...] fill [...] Wine.
His house in question brought, a man is kill'd,
His and his wiues heart both with sorrow fill'd,
And whereas other Trades their labours end
At night, till midnight He doth still attend,
At euery Groomes commaund officiously
He waits, and takes hard words most curteously.
He that amongst these harmes can purchase profit,
Much good may't doe him, he is worthy of it,
My Master Vintners Trade, I thought to touch,
Because I cannot thinke his gaines is much,
[Page]I loue them all, my lines here manifests,
And so God send them honest sober guests.
From thence vnto the Wine-Marchant I went,
He presently me to the Market sent:
For Butter, and for Egges I was exchang'd,
And to the Countrey with my Dame I rang'd.
Her Husband gaue me to a lab'ring Ditcher,
He to the Alehouse went, and bang'd the Pitcher.
To stay long there, I was exceeding loath,
They vs'd so much deceit with nick and froath.
My Master Host, vnto the Brewer gaue me,
The Malt-man came on Monday, and would haue me,
He to the Alehouse brought me backe in hast,
From thence I quickly to the Baker past,
My seruice there was very short and briefe,
He plac'd me with a Miller and a Thiefe,
That was a merry Master for the nonce,
He got his liuing cogging, with two stones,
I next dwelt with a Butcher, that had tricks
To liue and thriue by Mutton and by pricks.
Thus haue I oft beene tossed too and fro,
From bad to worse, from misery to woe,
From miserable Slaues, to Prodigalls,
To arrant Theeues, and to good Hospitalls,
[Page]To good and bad, to true men and to Taylers,
To Fidlers, Pipers, Fishmongers and Saylers,
[...] all [...] Masters [...] Twelue- [...], not in [...] as they [...] degree, [...] calling, [...] as hee [...]iled [...], good [...] bad, poore [...] rich, [...]out any [...].
To Mercers, Grocers, Drapers, Tinkers, Pedlers,
To Fruiterers, for Pipins, Plumbs, and Medlers,
To Silk-men, Sadlers, Turners, Tylers, Glasiers,
To Tripewiues, Mealmé, Gardners, Grasiers, Brasiers,
To Plummers, Bricklay'rs, Smithes, and Carpenters,
To Dyers, Goldsmithes, and to Playsterers,
To Noble-men, to Water-men, to Ioyners,
To honest men, to Knaues, to clipping Coyners.
To Knights, to Beggers, Scriu'ners, Colliers, Lawyers,
To Stationers, to Printers, Silk-men, Sawyers,
To fooles, to wise-men, Dunces, and to Doctors,
To Harlots, Varlots, Serieants, Bayliffes, Proctors,
To Papists, Protestants, and Puritans,
To Traytors, Subiects, Matchiuillians,
To Catchpoles, Beadles, Iaylors, Ironmongers,
To Cookes (whose labours do asswage mens hungers,
To Cuckolds, Bawdes, to greasie Pimps and Panders,
To Cowards, valiant men, and stout Commanders.
To Fishers, Fowlers, Shepheards, Queristers,
To Feather-makers, Girdlers, Barristers,
To Players, Bearewards, Fencers, to good fellowes,
To those that make no breath, yet can make bellowes.
[Page]To Pewt'rers, Shoomakers, and Buttonmakers,
To Marshals men, and dirty kennell-rakers.
To Leather-sellers, Armourers, and Curriers,
To Iuglers, Iesters, Masons, Barbars, Spurriers,
To Woodmongers, to Tapsters, and to Salters,
To Ropemakers, for Cables, Ropes and Halters,
To Paynters, Poynters, Hackney-men and Skinners,
To Hearb-wiues, Fish-wiues, & such scolding sinners,
To Cutlers, Parrators, to Posts, to Iudges,
To Druggists, Felmongers, and to toyling Drudges,
To Hatters, Powlterers, Coniurers, and Farmers,
To Priests, Clerks, Sextanes, Sorcerers, and Charmers,
To Bowyers, Chaundlers, and Astronomers,
To Gulls, to Gallants, and Embroyderers,
To Basket-makers, Milke-maydes, Iewellers,
Heare are a strange gal [...]mawfrey of Twelue-pen­ces Maste [...] honest men and Kna [...] like hearb [...] and weede [...] in a Hotch [...]potch.
To Comfit-makers, and Soliciters,
To Yeomen, Hostlers, and to vnder Shrieues,
To Millainers, to Chamberlaines, and Thieues,
To Cappers, Faulkners, Plow-men, Haberdashers,
To Coopers, Weauers, Scullions, Coblers, Thrashers,
To Hunts-men, Gunners, Grauers, Rhethoritians,
To Coachmen Tuckers, Potters, and Musitians,
To Reapers, Spinners, Caruers, and Suruayors,
To Orators, to Cariers, and Puruayors,
[Page]To Clothiars, to Logitians, Mowers, Shermen,
To Clockmakers, Collectors, Miners, Carmen,
Tobacco-sellers, Netmakers, men, Boyes,
To Sharkes, Stales, Nims, Lifts, Foysts, Cheats, Stands, Decoyes,
T'a Cut-purse, and a Pocket picking Hound,
To as mad Rogues as euer trod on ground.
To married men, to Batchellers, to Lads;
To sober Fellowes, and to drunken Swads,
To Maydes, to Wiues, to Widdowes, and to Whores,
To liberall mindes, and hungry hide-bound Bores,
To Midwiues, Chimney-sweepers, Beadles, Nurses,
To Scampsters, Laundresses, and Gossips purses,
To Drummers, Draymen, Pyrates, Drawers, Glouers,
To Trumpets, Whitsters, Ratcatchers, and Drouers,
To Hang-men, Side-men; to Churchwardens, Cryers,
To Fluits, Horse-coursers, Sellers, and to Buyers,
To Prisoners, to Night-farmers, and to Broome-men,
To all estates of Forraigners and Free-men:
I could name more, if so my Muse did please,
Of Mowse Traps, and tormentors to kill Fleas:
For Ballads, Table-bookes, and Conny-skins,
For ends of Gold and Siluer, Poynts and Pins:
For Knights, and Madames made of Ginger-bread,
And many a stale and musty maydenhead.
[Page]These Masters haue I seru'd, and thousands more
Of all degrees and Trades, on seas and shore.
And amongst all the places that I had,
Whereas I found one good, I got ten bad:
If I did serue a poore man but one day,
I fiue yeare (for it) with the rich would stay,
I haue bin Twelue-pence seauenty od long yeare,
And to the world, I'le make it plaine appeare,
That where I had one Master lou'd the poore,
I had ten Drunkards, that did loue a Whore,
For each houres seruice good men had of mee,
To my great griefe I seru'd bad people three.
I weare the Kings badge, yet flie from the King,
And to a Misers Chest I profit bring.
The words I haue are Latine, which implies
That I should waite vpon the learn'd and wise,
But for one Scholler, that can vnderstand,
I haue seru'd twenty Artlesse fooles command.
My seruice to the Poets haue bin euill,
I ranne more swift from them, then from the Deuill,
I know not well the cause, but they and I
Together long could ne're keepe company.
I haue a true excuse that will defend me,
They
Poets and money are i [...] emulation.
loue mee not, which makes e'm quickly spend me.
[Page]But there's no great loue lost twixt them and mee,
VVe keepe asunder, and so best agree.
They that doe loue me best beyond
[...]
Sea dwell,
For there I am like to a soule in hell,
From whence there's no returning, and so I
In the Low Countries or in Germanie,
If they doe get me once vpon their shore,
'Tis ten to one I ne're see England more,
I haue seru'd Cut-purses, and high-way Fellowes,
And I haue brought ten thousand to the Gallowes,
Were he the arrantst Thiefe that euer 'twang'd,
For my loue he would venture to be hang'd.
Some Scriueners, and some Post Knights (it appeares)
For louing me too much, haue lost their eares,
There's many a reuerend Bawde rode in a Cart,
For bearing vnto me a louing hart.
There's many a sweet-fac'd Punk hath bin perplext,
Whip'd, and behinde her
[...]
back, much grieu'd & vext,
Some of my Masters would take paines to haue me,
And like to Barbars, wash, clip,
[...]
poll, and shaue me,
In this I onely differ from a Whore,
We both haue wicked followers great store:
The Whore they may kisse, clip and coll, and strip,
Me they may safely kisse, but neuer clip.
[Page]And now and then, like immitating Apes,
With Brasse, Tin, Iron, they'd counterfeit my shapes.
They lou'd me more then honesty requires,
But commonly the Hangman payes their hires.
Thus though I be but of a small account,
I haue had power to make my Masters mount,
And some againe (by their owne bad endeuour)
I haue had power to sinke them downe for euer.
To some I am (in comming) showe as Lead,
But quicke as Quick siluer, againe, soone fled.
Suppose that any mischiefe that could be,
Had lately bin by th'onely meanes of me,
As casting good men into great distresse,
T'vndoe the Widdow, and the Fatherlesse,
A long delaide sure, longer to prolong,
Or hang'd a guiltlesse man, that did no wrong:
Corrupted a chaste Mayd, intic'd a Wife
To folly, and to loath her Husbands life:
If I had bin the meanes to worke all this,
Or ten times more such actions of amisse,
Yet doe I looke as white as Innocence,
And neuer blush, at the most vile offence.
Nay more, there's none will (for my faults) refraine me,
But euery one will straitway entertaine me.
[Page]If treason (through my means) be thought or wrought,
I neuer am vnto my triall brought:
For I haue had the triall touch before,
And am so knowne, I shall be tride no more.
For though I be in ill, chiefe formost Actor,
No man suspects me for a malefactor,
And if there be one man that wlll reueale me,
There are at least ten thousand will conceale me.
Indeed I was a Pagan
[...] first and a­ [...]ongst Pa­ [...]ans and [...]eathen.
borne at first,
And since in Christendome I haue beene nurst,
So they might haue me to encrease their pelfe,
Many are turn'd, worse Pagans then my selfe.
For I no God or diety did know,
To whom I should my loue and seruice show:
But they forsake their God, whom they know well,
And make a God of me, an Infidell.
So, though I be but of a Heathen state,
I am no base Apostate, Reprobate.
Looke on the hearbs, the flow'rs, the fruits, the Trees,
Fowles of the ayre, the painefull lab'ring Bees,
And aske their Owners why they breed and spring,
His answere is, they must him money bring.
Note but the toyling Plow-man, he is sowing
He's hedging, ditching, raking, reaping, mowing,
[Page]Goes to bed late, and rises before day,
And all to haue my company, hee'll say,
For me with dagled Gownes, and duty ham'd,
The Hall at Westminster, ith' Tearme is cram'd,
Such writing, running, sweating, interceading,
Remouing Causes, Pleading, Counter-pleading,
Aske the cause why, the answere true will be,
All men [...]bour for [...]ney, bu [...] with al [...] deuotion
Their wrangling and their strife is all for me.
Looke in the Towne, how folkes throng to and fro,
So thicke, one cannot for another goe,
And how the Shops with Wares are furnish'd out:
How euery one stares, pryes, and gapes about.
Demaund the reason, all will answere make,
They watch, and waite, cause they would money take.
I know not why my reputation's such,
But still my credit hath beene wondrous much,
I am more willing taken, now and then
Then a seal'd Bond, of any
Ready [...]ney is as [...] as any m [...] Bond.
Aldermen,
For by long proofe, the Prouerbe true doth say,
That ready money euer will away.
I am no worse then I haue beene of old,
When thrice my worth, for me was bought and sold,
For I could once haue paide a quarters rent.
For a small Garden, and a Tenement,
[Page]And that (for me) of Barly, Wheat or Rye,
Three times as much as now a man might buy:
The cause why now I not so much attaine,
Is (that I am not lighter halfe a graine)
But that through greedinesse, and hatefull pride,
I still am ill imployde, and worse applide:
For though the world be in a tott'ring state
[...]ng is [...]nstant [...]nce.
Yet am I constant alwayes at one rate,
Let house, land, cloathes, food, high or lower rise,
I am in value, alwayes at one sise,
Raise the price vp, or let it fall downe lowe,
A shilling is but Twelue pence, all men knowe.
I am the same I was, 'tis onely men
Haue lost the consciences they harbour'd then.
I might (as they might vse me) be a blessing,
And they make me the cause of their transgressing,
Some to obtaine me into mischiefe runne,
And some to spend me haue destruction wonne:
[...] I speake [...]ally of [...]ey.
There's many a Master, where I vs'd to dwell,
That tooke delight (with me) to purchase hell.
And all the vicious wayes they ranne aside,
They made the deuill and I, their onely guide:
(Perhaps) their Fathers went to hell to haue me,
And their mad heires, runne the same way to leaue me,
[Page]The whilst a haire-braind'd needy crew beset me,
And gallop to the deu'll amayne, to get me.
Thus vilely, how to get, and keepe, and spend me,
Three quarters of the world doe still attend me.
I haue made Mariages in many a place,
Where hath bin neither beauty, wit, or grace,
All's one for that, I am of that high price,
I can make vice seeme vertue, vertue vice.
I am of that great power, and high command,
In ioyning house to house, and land to land:
That where one hath a dwelling to abide,
One hundred knowes not where their heads to hide:
And as one may three hundred Tenants haue,
Fiue hundred knowes not where to haue a graue.
For though from Earth man hath originall,
And to the Earth, from whence he came doth fall,
Though he be Earth, and can claime nought but earth,
(As the fraile portion due vnto his birth)
Yet many thousands that the earth doth breed,
Haue no place (certaine) where to lodge or feed:
In which respect mens pleasures are behinde
The Birds, and Beasts, for they contentment finde
With the prouision that dame Nature giues,
Free (without money) euery Creature liues,
[Page]Their foode, attire, their Caues, dens, holes, and nests
They haue, and hold, as their owne interests.
And man, that hath a reasonable soule,
Whose reason countermaunds each beast and fowle,
Within whose face, a Maiestie is seated,
Beyond all Creatures that were e're created;
Yet let him but want money, and 'tis plaine,
He's th' onely briefe and abstract or disdaine,
Despised, scorn'd, deiected, and contemn'd,
And round about with miseries behem'd.
Search all the worlds Records from age to age,
And view Times variable Pilgrimage:
Note that though Fortune (in her tott'ring guise)
Hath play'd at Foot-ball with great Monarchies,
Yet shall you finde how euer States haue varied,
How euer things were caried or miscaried,
That money still bare the commanding sway,
To whom both right and wrong, and all obay.
Should all the Witches in the whole world sit
In Counsell, and imploy their damned wit,
And haue the aydes of all the fiends in hell,
With many a mumbling Necromantick spell,
And all this toyle and paines of theirs should be,
To bring Pecunia into infamie,
[Page]To cast my Lady Argent in disgrace,
And make some other thing supply her place:
The fruits of all their labours they should finde,
Would be like throwing feathers 'gainst the winde:
For in mans heart 'tis rooted with such loue,
That nothing else but Death can it remoue.
And many humane reasons doth approue it,
That aboue all things earthly he should loue it.
Do'st thou want honour, money straite will buy it,
Although ten thousand needy Slaues enuie it.
Would'st haue an office thy estate to reare,
Money will helpe thee to't man, neuer feare:
Do'st want wit how to guide and gouerne it?
If thou hast money thou canst want no wit.
Art thou a damned Matchiuillian,
Thy money makes thee held an honest man.
Hast thou a scuruie face, take this of me,
If thou hast money 'tis not seene in thee.
Would'st haue a whore, a Coach, smoke, drink or drie?
Money will bring thee all at any price.
Would'st haue all pleasures in variety,
Money will thy insatiate wants supply:
Then seeing money can doe what it will,
Haue not men reason to regard it still?
[Page]Some thinges there are that Money cannot win,
But they are thinges men take small pleasure in;
As Heau'n, and a good Conscience, Vertue, Grace,
Hee that loues Money, cannot these imbrace.
For he whose heart to Money, is inclin'd,
Of thinges Coelestiall hath but little minde.
If Money were a Woman, I doe fee
Her Case most pitty pittifull would bee,
Because I thinke shee would no louers haue,
Except a Gowty miserable Knaue:
One that all night would by her lye and Grone,
Grip'd with the Collicke, or tormenting Stone,
With stinking, Coughing, Grunting, spitting, spauling,
And nothing but Contagious Catterwalling.
Besides hee'd be so Iealious day and night,
He would not suffer her goe out of's sight:
That sure I thinke her Case farre worse would be
Then is the Turkish Galley slauery.
For none but such as those whome Age hath got,
Are in the Loue of Money extreame hot.
And when as Hearing, Sent, and Tast, and Sight,
Are gone, yet Feeling Money's their Delight.
The whilest a Young-man, full of strength and pride,
Would make her Goe by water, Run and Ride,
[Page]Force her in all thinges to supply his neede,
For Recreation, or to Cloath and Feede,
Compell her to Maintaine him fine and Braue,
[...]
And in a word make her his Drudge or Slaue,
And all his Loue to her would bee so so,
For hee'd but kisse her, and so let her goe.
Thus if It were a Woman as I say,
Her Case were Lamentable euery way:
For Olde men within Doores would euer worr'y her,
& Youngmen round about the world wold hurry her,
That were she matchd with either young or old,
Her miseries would still be manifold.
But this Commaunding bright Imperious Dame,
Vsde well or ill, Shee's euermore the same:
Locke her, order her loose, she Cares not which,
She still hath power the whole world to bewitch.
I call to minde, I heard my Twelue-pence say,
That hee hath oft at Christmas bin at play:
At Court, at th'Innes of Court, and euery where
Throughout the Kingdome, being farre and neere.
At Passage, and
And tw [...] games more
Mumchance, at In and in,
Where Swearing hath bin Counted for no Sinne,
Where Fullamshigh and
False 'Di [...]
Loanmen Bore great sway,
With the quicke helpe of a Band Cater Trey.
[Page]My shilling said such swaggering there would be
Amongst the wrangling Knaues for me (quoth he)
Such shoueing, sholdring, thrusting, thronging, setting,
Such striuing, crowding, iustling and such betting,
Such storming, fretting, fuming, chafing, sweating,
Resuse, renounce me, damne me, swearing, cheating,
So many heauy curses, plagues and poxes,
Where all are losers, but the Butlers boxes:
That sure in hell the Deuils are in feare,
To curse and to blaspheme as they doe there.
Whilst without touch of conscience, or of sence,
They abuse th' Almighties great Omnipotence,
And all this wicked stirre that they doe make,
Is me from one another how to rake.
That though I were a Pagan borne, I see
They make themselues much worse, to pocket me.
[...] shilling [...]o Puritan [...] all this.
These Gamesters make this time, a time of mirth,
In memory of their blest Sauiours birth:
Whose deare remembrance, they doe annually
Obserue with extreame odious gluttony,
[...]peake not [...]ainst ho­ [...]t mirth, [...]ndly Ga­ [...]ng, nor good cheere but against the unlawfull use of these Recre [...]tions, and abuse of Go [...]
With gurmondizing beastly belly filling,
With swinish drinking, and with drunken swilling,
With Ribald Songs, Iigges, Tales, & gawdy cloathes,
VVith bitter cursings, and most fearefull Oathes,
[Page]That sure my shilling saith, the Heathen will
Not entertaine the deuill halfe so ill;
But worship Saethan in more kinde behauiour,
Then some professed Christians doe their Sauiour.
In Saturnes raigne when money was vnfound,
Then was that age with peace and plenty crown'd,
Then mine was thine, Thine mine, and all our liues,
All things in common were, except our wiues.
But now the case is altred (as they say)
Quite topsie-turuy the contrary way:
For now mens wealth is priuately kept close,
The whilst their wiues are commonly let lose.
For he whom loue of money doth besot
For's owne soule, or's wiues body, much cares not.
It bewitch'd Aohan at the siege of Ai,
Ioshua 7.
For which the Israelites did lose the day:
It made Gehezie false in his affaires,
2. Kings 5.
And gain'd the Leprosie for him, and's heires,
It with th'Apostle Iudas bore such sway,
That it made him the Lord of life betray;
And Anaenias and his wretched wife,
Acts 5.
By suddaine death it made them lose their life;
And Diuine stories, and prophane, recite
Examples of such matters infinite,
[Page]'Tis said in Salomons Dominions,
Kings. 10. 7.
That Siluer was as plenty as the Stones:
But sure the Sinne of Couetise was not
Amongst them either borne, or scarce begot.
For all that Siluer, and a great deale more,
Rak'd and Rip'd from the Europian shore,
From AEsia, and Sun-parched Africa,
And from the wombe of vaust America,
Purcas.
From which last place the Potent King of Spaine,
Eleuen Millious in one yeare did gaine,
And from Pottozzy Mines he Dayly had
Three hundred thirty thousand Ryals made.
To speake what mighty summes King Dauid won,
And left them vnto Salomon his Son,
Chron. 22. A Tallent of Golde is in [...]alue 600. [...]rownes.
Of Gold one hundred thousand Talents fine,
Siluer one Thousand thousand, from the Mine,
Besides from Ophir he had at the least,
Three thousand Golden talents of the best.
[...]oseph in the [...]. Booke of [...]is Antiqui­ [...]ies.
Iosephus doth of Dauids Tombe thus write,
How th'hidden Treasure there was infinite,
The Basons, Candlestickes, and Censors all,
Lampes, Organs, Instruments most Musicall,
Ports, Altar, Tables, Hindges the Gates to holde,
They were all made of pure Refined Golde.
[Page]Besides 600. Shields and Targets more,
The King causde all with Golde bee plated o're.
Besides the Richnes of his Royall Throne,
The like whereof elsewhere
And [...] the Captan [...] 5000. Talents, and 10000. pe [...]ces of Gold and 1000 [...] talents of Si [...]uer, besid [...] Brasse and Iron.
was neuer none.
When the Great Macedonian did subdue
Darius,
Quint [...] Curtius.
and his haples Persian Crew,
'Tis said his Treasure did so much abound,
Twenty nine thousand Tallents there was found.
And more he faith (if we may Credit this)
How that in Susa and
2 Citties in Persia.
Persepolis
They found, of Siluer to Encrease their store,
One hundred seauenty thousand Talents more.
When Cirus Conquer'd Cressus,
About 60. Millions of Crownes.
Cressus lost
Three hundred Millions of good Golde almost,
'Tis writ that Midas
A King of Phrigia.
Treasure so amounted
Innumerable, not to be Accounted,
Sardanapalus an Assirian
A most Licentious Prince.
King
Neere eight score Millions to the Fire did bring.
VVhere Fifteene dayes did burne his house, and pelfe,
His whores, and ('mongst the rest) his wretched selfe.
And Plutarch faith, Marke Of Crown [...] which was [...] pay. Anthony spent cleare
Of Golde, full Sixe score Millions in one yeare.
VVhat should I speake of Cleopatraes Treasures,
Or wealth, or Triumphs of the Roman Caesars.
[Page]Or what they were whose riches haue bin such,
Or who they are that now possesse too much,
But here's the question, seeing times of old
Did yeeld such store of siluer and of gold,
And seeing daily more and more is found,
Digg'd in abundance from the solide ground,
I muse which way the deuill all is gone,
That I, and thousand thousands can haue none.
I know my selfe as able to abuse it,
As any man that knowes well how to vse it,
But sure I neuer should my Master make it,
But as my seruant take it, and forsake it.
I haue described in particular
What Twelue-pence is, how it hath trauell'd far:
How to all ages, Sexes, Trades, and Arts,
It comes and goes, it tarries and departs:
[...]
I could tell further how it doth command,
In pressing men to serue by sea or land,
How Bakers thirteene penny loaues doe giue
All for a shilling, and thriue well and liue.
How it a pottle of good Clarret buyes,
How 'tis a quart of rich Canaries prise,
How for a thousand things 'tis daily ranging,
And is so round a summe, it needes no changing,
[Page]How vp and downe the world he still doth firrit,
And takes no more rest then an ayery spirit.
Then at the last my Muse to minde doth call,
The mighty power of money in generall,
And how all ages still haue had good store,
Musing the cause my selfe can haue no more.
And Money hauing writ all this for thee,
[...] Mone [...]
Shew not thy selfe ingratefull vnto mee:
But as I know thou canst, so preethee grant
That when I want thou wilt supply my want,
Reward thy Poet, that doth set thee forth,
I'le loue thee still, according to thy worth.
FINIS.

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